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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,556 WALT? GEORGE. 2 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,558 YOU'RE GONNA BE THERE NEXT THURSDAY-- 3 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,693 WHY NOT? 4 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,696 OH, NO. YOU LOST ANOTHER ONE? 5 00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,364 WALT, YOU GOTTA REMEMBER 6 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:08,300 TO TURN OFF THE MILKING MACHINE. 7 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:15,807 WELL, THEN DON'T MILK DURING FAMILY FEUD. 8 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,112 OH, COME ANYWAY. IT'LL CHEER YOU UP. 9 00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:21,946 OH, GREAT. I BETTER GO. 10 00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:25,117 I GOT ABOUT A MILLION BEAVERS TO CALL. 11 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,351 BYE. 12 00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:27,619 SOMETHING GOING ON AT THE LODGE? 13 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:28,920 SURE IS. 14 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,223 NEXT WEEK, WE'RE HONORING OUR MAN OF THE YEAR, 15 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:35,026 AND, UH, GUESS WHO'S OUR MAN OF THE YEAR? 16 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,128 YOU? 17 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,930 WHOA. TALK ABOUT WOMAN'S INTUITION. 18 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,368 IT'S HERE. 19 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:47,139 IT ARRIVED. 20 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,940 WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS? 21 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:53,612 DeFOREST COSMETICS. AND IT'S ALL MINE. 22 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,947 STEPHANIE, WHERE DID YOU BUY ALL THIS? 23 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,183 I DIDN'T BUY IT. IT WAS FREE. 24 00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:00,385 ONE STARTER KIT... 25 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,621 ANOTHER ONE, ANOTHER ONE... 26 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,789 OH, LORD. I LOVE THIS COUNTRY. 27 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,125 STEPHANIE, THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT 28 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,226 TO GET FOR FREE. 29 00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:10,495 ISN'T IT? 30 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,930 MOISTURIZER, BLUSHER... 31 00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:16,000 APRICOT SCRUB. 32 00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,802 IS THIS YOUR SIGNATURE? 33 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,437 ON THIS CONTRACT? 34 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:21,439 I DIDN'T SIGN A CONTRACT. 35 00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:22,674 I FILLED OUT A COUPON. 36 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,008 ACCORDING TO THIS, 37 00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:25,677 ONE OF THE KITS IS YOUR FREE GIFT. 38 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,745 YOU HAVE TO SELL THE OTHERS OR PAY FOR THEM. 39 00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:31,383 $625. 40 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:34,486 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A CATCH. 41 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,488 YEAH. 42 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,423 WELL, THAT'S MEAN. 43 00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,024 I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY. 44 00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:42,294 WELL, THEN I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO SELL THEM. 45 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:44,262 SELL THEM? 46 00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,797 JOANNA... 47 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,866 I'M A BUYER BY BIRTH. 48 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:52,170 CAN YOU PICTURE THESE HANDS MAKING CHANGE? 49 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,639 SELLING ISN'T SO BAD, STEPHANIE. 50 00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:57,175 IT--IT'S JUST, UH, WELL, YOU KNOW... 51 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,511 TALKING TO PEOPLE AND GETTING THEM TO SEE 52 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,045 THAT THEY NEED YOUR PRODUCT. 53 00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:04,549 OH. 54 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:05,617 JOANNA... 55 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:06,884 WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO SOMETHING 56 00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:08,687 ABOUT THOSE CROW'S FEET? 57 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,991 STEPHANIE, I'M WILLING TO BUY ONE OF THE KITS, 58 00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:15,727 AND I DO NOT HAVE CROW'S FEET. 59 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,995 IF I AGREE WITH YOU, WILL YOU TAKE TWO? 60 00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:19,631 JUST ONE. 61 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:22,066 WELL, ONE KIT IN ONE SECOND. 62 00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:24,336 MAYBE I AM GOOD AT THIS. 63 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:28,940 WELL, SO FAR I'VE GOT HARLEY, DWAYNE, AND WALT... 64 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:32,944 OH, BY THE WAY, WALT KILLED ANOTHER COW. 65 00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,146 YEAH. FAMILY FEUD AGAIN. 66 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,451 HI, HONEY. 67 00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,518 WHAT'S--WHAT'S THE BOX? 68 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,086 JUST STEPHANIE'S MAKEUP. 69 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:44,556 AH. 70 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,060 OH, I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T ASKED HIM YET. 71 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,428 YEAH. HE'S RIGHT HERE. 72 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,430 I'LL LET YOU KNOW. BYE. 73 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:54,132 ASK ME WHAT, GEORGE? 74 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,433 DICK, NEXT THURSDAY, 75 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:58,069 THE BEAVERS ARE HONORING THEIR MAN OF THE YEAR, 76 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,872 AND GUESS WHO'S THE MAN OF THE YEAR. 77 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,741 OH, NO. NOT ME. 78 00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:05,943 NO. ME. 79 00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:07,011 WELL. 80 00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:08,513 WELL, CON-- CONGRATULATIONS, GEORGE. 81 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,881 YOU--YOU MUST FEEL VERY HONORED. 82 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:13,585 I--I--I KNOW I WOULD. 83 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,719 I DO. 84 00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:16,888 THEY'RE GONNA HAVE A ROAST FOR ME. 85 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,423 YOU KNOW, A BIG DINNER 86 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,492 WHERE PEOPLE TELL JOKES ABOUT ME. 87 00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,461 I'VE BEEN ON THE PHONE ALL DAY INVITING EVERYONE. 88 00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:26,731 YOU--YOU'RE INVITING PEOPLE TO YOUR OWN ROAST? 89 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:29,934 YEAH. IT'S PART OF THE HONOR. 90 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:33,571 I ALSO GET TO BUY THE FOOD AND PUT UP THE DECORATIONS. 91 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:36,308 THAT--THAT'S A LOT OF HONOR. 92 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:38,677 AND DICK, I'D LIKE YOU TO COME. 93 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,745 I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE THE BEAVERS, BUT-- 94 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:43,147 GEOR--GEORGE, WHY--WHY DO YOU THINK THAT? 95 00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:45,450 YOU NEVER COME TO ANY OF THE FUNCTIONS. 96 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,118 GEORGE, WE WENT TO THE PICNIC 97 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,387 LAST SUMMER, REMEMBER? 98 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,823 YEAH. I WAS--I WAS TEAMED IN THE--THE THREE-LEGGED RACE 99 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,658 WITH AL "SWEATY" WHITLOW. 100 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,561 WELL, BUT THAT'S THE LAST ONE YOU WENT TO. 101 00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,496 YEAH. 102 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,834 WELL, GEORGE, SINCE IT IS YOUR NIGHT, I'LL COME. 103 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,436 OH, DICK, THAT'S GREAT. 104 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,103 AND YOU'LL BE A SPEAKER TOO? 105 00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:08,807 YOU--YOU MEAN TELL JOKES? UM... 106 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,308 GEORGE, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT REALLY GOOD 107 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,643 AT THAT SORT OF THING. 108 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,744 SURE YOU ARE. 109 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,078 YOU'LL HAVE 'EM ROLLING IN THE AISLES. 110 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,349 WELL, THE BEAVERS ARE ALWAYS ROLLING IN THE AISLES. 111 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,684 OH, DO IT, DICK. IT'LL BE FUN. 112 00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,786 THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE PICNIC. 113 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:24,155 COME ON, DICK. DO IT FOR ME. 114 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,290 GEORGE, YOU--YOU REALLY WANT ME TO ROAST YOU? 115 00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:29,093 LIKE A PIG. 116 00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:31,329 SINCE YOU PUT IT THAT WAY. 117 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,798 TERRIFIC. I BETTER GET STARTED. 118 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,301 I'VE GOT A PODIUM TO BUILD. 119 00:05:37,303 --> 00:05:40,238 DO I KNOW HOW TO GIVE A ROAST OR WHAT? 120 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:49,046 GEORGE... UTLEY... 121 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:51,949 IS SO... 122 00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:53,551 PLEASANT THAT... 123 00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:57,221 [SIGHS] 124 00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:59,624 SO... 125 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,493 NICE... 126 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,197 [SIGHS] 127 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,999 SO... 128 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,934 AFFABLE... 129 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,907 SO... WHAT? 130 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:19,010 [PHONE RINGING] 131 00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:20,545 HELLO? 132 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,746 OH, HI--HI, MR. BRIDGES. 133 00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:23,748 UH, THANK YOU-- THANK YOU FOR CALLING BACK. 134 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,817 YEAH, I KNOW YOU'RE AN OLD SCHOOL CHUM OF GEORGE'S, 135 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,385 AND--AND I--I FIGURED MAYBE YOU MIGHT HAVE 136 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:31,489 SOME FUNNY STORIES ABOUT THINGS THAT--THAT GEORGE DID. 137 00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,425 HE--HE FORGOT HIS HAT ONE DAY. 138 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,062 UH-HUH. WE--WH--UH... 139 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,498 WH--WHAT ELSE? 140 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,802 THE HAT-- THE HAT WAS IT. 141 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,269 YEAH, UH, "SIDE-SPLITTER" WAS THE WORD 142 00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:49,006 I WAS THINKING OF TOO. 143 00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:52,544 THA--THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 144 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,245 HI, CONSUMER. 145 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,548 YOU KNOW, A WOMAN'S FACE IS HER CALLING CARD, 146 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:57,916 AND IT'S-- 147 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,517 STEPHANIE, JOANNA ALREADY HAS ONE OF YOU MAKEUP KITS. 148 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:00,652 YEAH, AND SHE LOVES IT. 149 00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:03,054 I THINK SHE'S ALMOST USED IT ALL UP. 150 00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,456 AFTER THREE DAYS? 151 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,257 ALL RIGHT. 152 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,927 STUPID STUFF ISN'T MOVING. 153 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,061 I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. 154 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,430 DeFOREST IS THE BEST MAKEUP YOU CAN GET. 155 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,065 I WEAR IT. 156 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:17,134 I THOUGHT EVERYBODY WOULD WANNA LOOK LIKE ME. 157 00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,437 IF I WEREN'T ME, I WOULD. 158 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,073 WELL, MAYBE YOU JUST HAVEN'T TRIED HARD ENOUGH. 159 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,441 ARE YOU KIDDING? 160 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,710 I HAVE SPENT THE ENTIRE MORNING KNOCKING ON DOORS, 161 00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:28,546 AND EVERYBODY JUST KEEPS TELLING ME I'M A PEST. 162 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,348 WHEN ARE WE GETTING SOME NEW GUESTS? 163 00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:34,619 HI, ALL. 164 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,187 HI, GEORGE. 165 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,122 YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BUY SOME MAKEUP, WOULD YOU? 166 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,725 OKAY. 167 00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:42,794 GEOR--GEORGE, WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 168 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,228 YOU--YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. 169 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:47,932 I'M NOT DEAD, DICK. 170 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,601 THAT'LL BE $24.95. 171 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,302 GEE, THAT'S PRETTY STEEP. I-- 172 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,403 OH, IT'S DeFOREST. 173 00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:54,639 WELL, THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN GET. 174 00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,843 MY FIRST NON-SYMPATHY SALE. 175 00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:10,822 UH, IS THIS THE SHELF THAT'S LOOSE? 176 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:13,758 YEAH. 177 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,631 ARE YOU WORKING ON THE STUFF FOR MY ROAST? 178 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,865 YES. YES I AM, GEORGE. 179 00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,233 CAN I TAKE A PEAK? 180 00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:23,801 WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S--IT'S A LITTLE ROUGH. 181 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:25,503 "GEORGE UTLEY IS SO..." 182 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:29,240 THAT'S GOOD. 183 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,308 GEOR--GEORGE, IT DOESN'T HAVE A PUNCH LINE YET. 184 00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:32,677 WELL, WITH A START LIKE THAT, 185 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,012 MAYBE YOU WON'T NEED ONE. 186 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,014 BOY, DICK. 20 MORE LIKE THAT, 187 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,448 MAYBE EVEN A COUPLE WITH ENDINGS, 188 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,116 WE GOT OURSELVES A ROAST. 189 00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:41,352 BOY, THAT HUSBAND OF YOURS. 190 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,455 IT'S GOING WELL? 191 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:48,426 YEAH. I'M THE--I'M THE KING OF THE HALF-LINERS. 192 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:50,294 I--I JUST CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING FUNNY 193 00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:51,495 TO SAY ABOUT GEORGE. 194 00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:53,565 I MEAN, HE'S--HE'S SUCH A NICE GUY. 195 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,999 I MEAN, GEORGE REALLY LENDS HIMSELF 196 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,501 MORE TO--TO A EULOGY. 197 00:08:57,503 --> 00:09:00,004 DICK. 198 00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,606 THERE MUST BE LOTS OF FUNNY THINGS 199 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:03,140 YOU COULD SAY ABOUT GEORGE. 200 00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:05,743 NOT ALIVE. 201 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:08,446 OH, COME ON. 202 00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:09,814 WHAT ABOUT... 203 00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:12,316 WHAT ABOUT THAT TIME HE WENT TO BOSTON, 204 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,118 AND HE BROUGHT BACK A CAN OF BAKED BEANS. 205 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,722 WHAT--WHAT ABOUT IT? 206 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:21,125 WELL, THAT WAS A CUTE STORY. 207 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:22,426 GEORGE ISN'T VERY WELL-TRAVELED. 208 00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:24,762 I MIGHT BE ABLE-- ABLE TO USE THAT. 209 00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:26,430 THERE YOU GO. I GAVE YOU THE BEGINNING. 210 00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,066 YOU JUST HAVE TO TACK ON AN ENDING. 211 00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:33,104 ENDING. 212 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:41,278 [LAUGHTER] 213 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,989 OH, AND YOU TALK ABOUT SLOW... 214 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,758 GEORGE IS SO SLOW, ONE DAY AT SCHOOL, 215 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,861 HE FORGOT HIS HAT. 216 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,733 BOY, THAT HAT STORY. 217 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,135 WILL I EVER LIVE THAT DOWN? 218 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:09,007 OUR NEXT SPEAKER IS A GOOD FRIEND OF GEORGE'S. 219 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:10,541 WELCOME HARLEY ESTIN. 220 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,543 [APPLAUSE] 221 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:20,885 UH, A FR--A FRENCHMAN, A ENGLISHMAN, 222 00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:21,919 AND GEORGE... 223 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,990 GO INTO A DOCTOR, AND THE DOCTOR TELLS 'EM 224 00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,491 THEY HAVE SIX MONTHS TO LIVE, 225 00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:30,261 AND THEY CAN HAVE ANYTHING THEY WANT. 226 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:31,829 UH, THEN THE OTHER TWO GUYS 227 00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:34,799 SAY SOME STUFF THAT ISN'T SO FUNNY... 228 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:38,235 BUT THEN, GEORGE SAYS, "I WANNA SEE ANOTHER DOCTOR." 229 00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:40,104 [LAUGHTER] 230 00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:45,242 GEORGE--GEORGE ISN'T MARRIED, 231 00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:47,545 BUT IF HE WAS, HIS WIFE WOULD BE FAT. 232 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:48,980 HOW FAT? 233 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:52,984 OH. LET'S SEE. UH... 234 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:56,520 SO FAT, SHE'D NEED HER OWN AREA CODE. 235 00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:57,989 [LAUGHTER] 236 00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:05,496 BUT, UM... 237 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,798 IF, UH-- IF, UH, IF-- 238 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,900 IF I COULD GET SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT... 239 00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:12,503 AS YOU ALL KNOW... 240 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,606 I'VE BEEN WORKING DOWN AT FERGUSON'S FEED STORE, 241 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:17,608 WELL, THAT IS, UNTIL TODAY... 242 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,744 THERE WAS A SLIGHT ACCIDENT. 243 00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:23,147 I NEVER KNEW OATS WERE COMBUSTIBLE. 244 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:28,552 ANYWAY, I'M SORTA OUT OF WORK AGAIN, 245 00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:32,824 WELL, SO IS EVERYONE DOWN AT FERGUSON'S. 246 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,358 SO, IF YOU KNOW OF ANY OPENINGS, 247 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:38,930 UH, I'M ESPECIALLY INTERESTED IN THE FENCE-RELATED INDUSTRIES. 248 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,198 BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME. 249 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,734 LET'S HEAR IT FOR THIS CRAZY NUT-BUCKET HERE. 250 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,635 [CHEERS] 251 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:53,745 IS THIS ONE FOR THE BEAVER BOOK OF MEMORIES, OR WHAT? 252 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,812 [LAUGHS] 253 00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,948 I TELL YA, I LAUGHED SO HARD, 254 00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,117 I SNEEZED BEER RIGHT THROUGH MY NOSE. 255 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:01,552 [LAUGHTER] 256 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,655 DICK, YOU REMEMBER SWEATY WHITLOW, DON'T YA? 257 00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,861 I'M--I'M STARTING TO, YEAH. 258 00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,798 WELL, I BETTER GET BACK TO MY CHAIR. 259 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,967 I HOPE THIS NIGHT NEVER ENDS. 260 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:20,304 SEEMS LIKE IT WON'T. 261 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,573 JUDGING FROM THIS NEXT SPEAKER'S 262 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,108 ATTENDANCE AT OUR FUNCTIONS, 263 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,410 I'D SAY HE'S NOT AN "EAGER BEAVER..." 264 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:30,248 THIS SHOULD BE YOU, DICK. 265 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,983 HE'S GEORGE'S EMPLOYER. 266 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,085 WELCOME DICK LOUDON. 267 00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:41,259 WELL, THA--UH... 268 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,326 [CLEARS THROAT] THANK YOU, 269 00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:44,361 MR. CHAIR-BEAVER. 270 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:47,832 [CLEARS THROAT] TO--UH, 271 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,066 TONIGHT WE'RE HONORING GEORGE UTLEY 272 00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:50,467 AS MAN OF THE YEAR. 273 00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:53,370 IT JUST GOES TO SHOW WHAT KIND OF A YEAR WE'VE HAD. 274 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:54,939 [LAUGHTER] 275 00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:58,742 GEORGE, UM... 276 00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:00,377 GEORGE IS SOMETHING OF A HOMEBODY. 277 00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:02,180 I THINK THE FURTHEST HE EVER TRAVELED 278 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,148 WAS AROUND A MONOPOLY BOARD. 279 00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:08,052 [LAUGHTER] 280 00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:11,322 I DON'T WANNA SAY THAT, UH, GEORGE IS NOT WELL-TRAVELED, 281 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,490 BUT RECENTLY HE DID COMPLAIN OF TRACTOR-LAG. 282 00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:14,458 [LAUGHTER] 283 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,865 OH, AS YOU ALL KNOW, 284 00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,533 GEORGE ISN'T THE GREATEST DRESSER IN THE WORLD. 285 00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:25,136 I UNDERSTAND THEY'RE MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT HIM CALLED, 286 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,305 DEAD MEN DO WEAR PLAID. 287 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:31,375 [LAUGHTER] 288 00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,179 GEORGE ISN'T KNOWN AS AN INTELLECTUAL, 289 00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:37,681 BUT, UH, HE JUST COMPLETED WORK ON A BOOK. 290 00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:39,150 HE DID A PRETTY GOOD JOB TOO, 291 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,386 EXCEPT HE COLORED THE GRASS RED. 292 00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:44,322 [LAUGHTER] 293 00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:58,402 WHOA. I TAKE IT THE ROAST WENT WELL LAST NIGHT? 294 00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,071 I ONLY KILLED THEM. 295 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,206 THIS MOUTH IS NOW A REGISTERED WEAPON. 296 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,274 [LAUGHS] 297 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,375 WELL, I BET GEORGE WAS DELIGHTED. 298 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,244 I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO TALK TO HIM. 299 00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,511 HE HAD TO WASH THE MUGS 300 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,446 AND THEN RETURN THE RENTED CHAIRS. 301 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,182 PART OF THE HONOR? 302 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,449 YEAH. 303 00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,254 EXCUSE ME, YOUNG LADY. 304 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:17,588 IS YOUR MOTHER HERE? 305 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,589 MY MOTHER? 306 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,658 [GASPS] JOANNA, IS THAT YOU? 307 00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:24,128 [GASPS] YOU LOOK 20 YEARS YOUNGER. 308 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:27,198 MUST BE THAT NEW DeFOREST COSMETIC STARTER KIT 309 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,299 YOU'VE BEEN USING LATELY. 310 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,500 STEPHANIE. 311 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,270 WOULD YOU BELIEVE THIS LADY IS 62 YEARS OLD? 312 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,539 I'M NOT 62. 313 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,608 NO. SHE DOESN'T FEEL 62. 314 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:38,910 NOT SINCE ACHIEVING THAT YOUTHFUL GLOW-- 315 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:41,379 I--I--I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. 316 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,115 SORRY, EVERYONE. THE--THE MEDICINE SHOW IS OVER. 317 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,383 PLEASE JUST IGNORE THIS. 318 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,387 DICK. PLEASE. 319 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,255 THEY WERE REACHING FOR THEIR WALLETS. 320 00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,624 I WANT YOU TO STOP BOTHERING OUR GUESTS. 321 00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:57,661 THEN I'LL NEVER SELL THESE. 322 00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,196 AND THEY'LL DRAG ME OFF TO JAIL, 323 00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:01,799 AND I'LL ONLY GET WASH MY HAIR ONCE A WEEK AND I'LL DIE. 324 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,838 OH. MORNING, GEORGE. 325 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,240 MORNING, JOANNA. 326 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,274 MORNING, GEORGE. 327 00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:11,508 MORNING. 328 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,411 SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD QUITE A ROAST LAST NIGHT. 329 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,878 YEAH, GREAT. 330 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,114 LISTEN, I'D LIKE TODAY OFF. 331 00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:19,917 I THINK I'LL WANDER DOWN TO MY SECRET FISHING HOLE. 332 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:20,985 WHATEVER YOU WANT, GEORGE. 333 00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:22,286 ARE--ARE YOU OKAY? 334 00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:25,556 WELL, YOU MIGHT SAY I HAVE A TOUCH OF TRACTOR-LAG. 335 00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:32,763 TRACTOR-LAG? WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? 336 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,832 OH, THAT WAS IN ONE OF THE JOKES I TOLD. 337 00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,934 WELL, GEORGE SEEMED KIND OF UPSET ABOUT IT. 338 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,035 I DON'T KNOW WHY. 339 00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:39,636 HE SEEMED TO BE HAVING A GOOD TIME LAST NIGHT. 340 00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:41,005 WELL, WHAT DID YOU SAY? 341 00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:43,007 I JUST TOLD A COUPLE HARMLESS JOKES, 342 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:45,609 LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, ONLY FUNNIER. 343 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:48,745 LIKE WHAT? 344 00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:50,547 WELL, LIKE, UH, I SAID, UH... 345 00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:52,483 [LAUGHS] 346 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,818 I SAID, "GEORGE IS SOMEWHAT OF A HOMEBODY. 347 00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:56,287 "I THINK THE FURTHEST HE'S EVER TRAVELED 348 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,621 WAS AROUND A MONOPOLY BOARD." 349 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,622 [LAUGHS] 350 00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:05,696 AND, UM... 351 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,064 [CLEARS THROAT] AND I SAID THAT, 352 00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:10,001 "GEORGE IS--IS WORKING ON--ON A--ON A BOOK, 353 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,969 BUT HE--HE, UH, COLORED THE GRASS RED." 354 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:12,970 [LAUGHS] 355 00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:19,010 AND, UM... 356 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,077 [CLEARS THROAT] 357 00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:21,545 AND I--I SAID THEY'RE, UM... 358 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:23,447 THEY'RE DOING A--A MOVIE A--ABOUT GEORGE, 359 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,616 AND IT'S CALLED, UM... 360 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,718 DEAD -- DEAD MEN DO WEAR PLAID. 361 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,053 WHAT? 362 00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,022 DEAD MEN DO WEAR PLAID. 363 00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:35,259 YOU KNOW, HE WEARS THAT SHIRT ALL THE TIME. 364 00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:36,860 SO, IN OTHER WORDS, YOU CALLED HIM 365 00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,630 A DIMWITTED, PATHETICALLY-DRESSED YOKEL. 366 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,298 WELL, YOU KNOW, IT WAS--IT WAS ALL IN-- 367 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,234 [PHONE RINGING] 368 00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,568 HELLO? 369 00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:45,736 OH, UH, HI, JOE. 370 00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:49,573 NO--NO. HE--HE JUST WENT FISHING. 371 00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:53,810 HAS--HAS HE MADE UP HIS MIND ABOUT WHAT? 372 00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:55,246 THERE--THERE--THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE. 373 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:57,814 GEOR--UH, GEORGE IS HAPPY HERE. 374 00:16:57,816 --> 00:17:01,052 NOT--NOT ANYMORE. 375 00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:02,553 I'LL--I'LL-- I'LL TELL HIM... 376 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,255 I'LL TELL HIM YOU CALLED. 377 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,423 THAT WAS THE PRESCOTT HOTEL. 378 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,491 GEORGE APPLIED FOR A JOB THERE THIS MORNING. 379 00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:09,427 OH, NO. 380 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:10,761 WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED, 381 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,896 MR. "MY MOUTH IS A WEAPON." 382 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,831 HONEY, IF ANYONE IS LOOKING FOR ME, 383 00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:18,702 I'LL BE DOWN AT GEORGE'S SECRET FISHING HOLE. 384 00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:25,742 WHERE IS GEORGE'S SECRET FISHING HOLE? 385 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,854 AH. GAH. 386 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,926 HI. HI--HI, GEORGE. 387 00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:45,996 HOW DID YOU FIND MY SECRET FISHING HOLE? 388 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,665 I JUST ASKED AROUND AT THE INN. 389 00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:49,666 WHO KNEW? 390 00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:50,767 EVERYONE. 391 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,876 ARE THE-- ARE THE FISH BITING? 392 00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:01,745 NOT YET. 393 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,784 MOSQUITOES SURE ARE. 394 00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:09,720 YOU, UM-- DO YOU MIND? 395 00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,759 GEORGE, UH... 396 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,061 ARE--ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT... 397 00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:21,232 ABOUT LEAVING THE STRATFORD? 398 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,800 WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU AN IDEA LIKE THAT? 399 00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:25,236 YOU, UM... 400 00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:27,304 YOU GOT A CALL FROM THE PRESCOTT HOTEL. 401 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:30,807 DICK, I DON'T KNOW 402 00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:33,010 IF THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME TO BRING THIS UP, 403 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:37,681 BUT I'M THINKING OF LEAVING THE STRATFORD. 404 00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,883 WELL, GEORGE, IF IT'S BECAUSE OF ANYTHING 405 00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:41,385 I--I SAID LAST NIGHT, 406 00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,587 YOU KNOW, I HOPE-- I HOPE YOU'LL FORGIVE ME. 407 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,996 MOSQUITO. 408 00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:55,932 YOU REALLY HIT ON SOME SORE SPOTS LAST NIGHT, DICK. 409 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,638 I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING EXCEPT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WAS DOING. 410 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,006 I MEAN, DWAYNE CALLED YOU SLOW, 411 00:19:03,008 --> 00:19:04,841 AND--AND DUTCH CALLED YOU A KNUCKLEHEAD. 412 00:19:04,843 --> 00:19:07,010 WELL, BUT THOSE GUYS ARE BUDDIES. 413 00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:09,880 THEY ALWAYS KID ME. YOU'VE NEVER DONE THAT. 414 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,949 WHEN YOU SAID THOSE THINGS, THEY SOUNDED SO... 415 00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:14,918 TRUE. 416 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,554 YEAH, BUT I'M-- YOU KNOW, I'M-- 417 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,489 I'M YOUR BUDDY TOO. 418 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,060 AND--AND YOU'RE MINE, 419 00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,929 AND--AND THOSE JOKES WERE-- WERE DONE OUT OF, UH... 420 00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:28,065 OUT OF AFFECTION. 421 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:31,335 YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT IF I DID JOKES ABOUT YOUR SHORTCOMINGS. 422 00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:34,271 TH--THAT WOULDN'T BOTHER ME BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, 423 00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:38,676 I'D KNOW THE--THE SPIRIT THEY WERE BEING DONE IN. 424 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,044 WH--WHAT... 425 00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:43,080 [CLEARS THROAT] WHAT--WHAT SHORTCOMINGS? 426 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:46,917 OH, I COULD MENTION THAT YOU'RE A NEATNESS FREAK. 427 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,485 THAT--THAT WOULDN'T BOTHER ME. 428 00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:50,421 WHAT IF I TOLD PEOPLE ABOUT 429 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:53,724 THE TIME YOU THREW THE LINT FIT? 430 00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:58,795 THAT--THAT WOULD-- THAT, UH... 431 00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:01,064 THAT WOULD--THAT-- THAT WOULDN'T BOTHER ME. 432 00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:04,501 AND HOW MANY GUYS REFUSE TO GO TO BASEBALL GAMES 433 00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:07,471 BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAID OF BEING HIT BY A FOUL? 434 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:11,442 A LOT OF PEOPLE EVERY YEAR ARE SERIOUSLY INJURED. 435 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,611 I--I GOT A FISH. 436 00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,312 NO, YOU DON'T. THAT'S A BRANCH. 437 00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:16,680 ARE YOU CRAZY? IT'S FIGHTING. 438 00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,048 NO, IT'S NOT. YOU'RE FIGHTING IT. 439 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,250 IT'S JUST A BRANCH. 440 00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:20,317 GEORGE, I'M TELLING YOU 441 00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:22,253 I'M ON THE BUSINESS END OF "MOBY TROUT." 442 00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:28,425 YOU WANT ME TO CLEAN THAT FOR YA? 443 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:34,064 I GUESS IT'S TOO SMALL. 444 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,371 I GUESS THE, UM... 445 00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,573 I GUESS THE PRESCOTT OFFERED YOU MORE MONEY? 446 00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:45,276 LOTS MORE. 447 00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:48,111 WELL, YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THE--THE POINT IS-- 448 00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:51,482 AND A SUITE. 449 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:53,049 WELL, YOU KNOW, ALL--ALL THAT I'M TRYING TO SAY-- 450 00:20:53,051 --> 00:20:54,985 CABLE T.V. TOO. 451 00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:58,822 YOU KNOW, I MEAN, 452 00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,591 THE--THE PRESCOTT'S A--A BIG HOTEL. 453 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,894 YOU KNOW, I--I COULDN'T MATCH THEIR OFFER, BUT-- 454 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:09,833 YOU KNOW, YOU... 455 00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:13,236 YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS. YOU KNOW, AND I'D... 456 00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:16,307 YOU KNOW, I'D HATE TO LOSE YOU. 457 00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:20,110 AND--AND THE INN SURE COULD STAND A GUY WHO COULD... 458 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,713 TELL A FISH FROM A BRANCH. 459 00:21:24,883 --> 00:21:27,017 IF I TURN DOWN THE PRESCOTT HOTEL, 460 00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:29,687 WITH A SUITE AND ALL THAT MONEY, 461 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,422 WOULDN'T IT BE KINDA DUMB? 462 00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:33,557 HMM. 463 00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:35,992 SURE SOUNDS DUMB. 464 00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:38,228 THEN I'M DUMB. 465 00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,130 [LAUGHS] 466 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:43,200 LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A STORY FOR THE NEXT ROAST. 467 00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:47,638 OF COURSE, I'VE ALWAYS GOT THE BRANCH STORY. 468 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,610 WELL, WHY DON'T WE CATCH US SOME FISH? 469 00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:55,646 HOLD IT, DICK. 470 00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:00,751 GEORGE, ALL--ALL OF THOSE WERE... 471 00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:02,085 WERE MOSQUITOES, RIGHT? 472 00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:04,421 WELL, THAT ONE WAS. 473 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,266 HONEY, I'M TELLING YOU, 474 00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:17,434 IT WAS THIS BIG. 475 00:22:17,436 --> 00:22:18,869 ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT EXAGGERATING? 476 00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:20,136 WORD OF HONOR. THIS BIG. 477 00:22:20,138 --> 00:22:21,839 I--I COULD HARDLY REEL IT IN. 478 00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:23,440 THAT IS A BIG BRANCH. 479 00:22:27,045 --> 00:22:28,178 GOOD NEWS. GOOD NEWS. 480 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,946 I'M OUT OF THE COSMETICS GAME. 481 00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:32,282 YOU MEAN, DeFOREST TOOK THEIR COSMETICS BACK? 482 00:22:32,284 --> 00:22:33,751 NO. THE NEXT BEST THING. 483 00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:36,520 I GOT A SALES REPRESENTATIVE TO HANDLE IT FOR ME. 484 00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:44,795 HI, CONSUMERS. 485 00:23:21,366 --> 00:23:22,599 MEOW. 33100

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