All language subtitles for Mom - 07x01 - Audrey Hepburn and a Jalepeno Pepper.AVS.English.HI.C.updated.Addic7ed.com
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1
00:00:00,538 --> 00:00:04,757
- Hi. Bonnie. Married, alcoholic...
- (All) Hi Bonnie.
2
00:00:04,781 --> 00:00:08,202
- Is she gonna say that every time?
- I heard that and yes.
3
00:00:08,227 --> 00:00:09,927
Because here's the thing:
4
00:00:09,952 --> 00:00:11,989
I'm sharing that the program works.
5
00:00:12,014 --> 00:00:13,851
I am going on a honeymoon.
6
00:00:14,479 --> 00:00:16,710
I am. Okay?
7
00:00:16,735 --> 00:00:19,069
This former junkie is
gonna spend seven days
8
00:00:19,094 --> 00:00:21,261
and six nights with her
husband in a lake house.
9
00:00:21,286 --> 00:00:22,618
On a lake.
10
00:00:22,643 --> 00:00:24,718
Of course, Marjorie tried
to ruin it by saying,
11
00:00:24,743 --> 00:00:26,247
"Make sure you go to a meeting."
12
00:00:26,272 --> 00:00:27,471
And I said, "The only thing
13
00:00:27,496 --> 00:00:28,612
"that's gonna be meeting is
14
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:30,695
me and my husband's naughty parts."
15
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:33,283
Anyway, I won't be here next week.
16
00:00:33,308 --> 00:00:34,762
I expect it will affect attendance,
17
00:00:34,787 --> 00:00:37,037
and for that I apologize.
18
00:00:40,656 --> 00:00:41,685
Christy,
19
00:00:41,710 --> 00:00:44,127
extremely single alcoholic.
20
00:00:44,152 --> 00:00:45,823
GROUP: Hi, Christy.
21
00:00:45,848 --> 00:00:48,131
But I can also tell
you this program works
22
00:00:48,156 --> 00:00:50,027
because while she's on her honeymoon,
23
00:00:50,052 --> 00:00:53,023
I am being put in charge
of her husband's bar.
24
00:00:53,355 --> 00:00:54,546
I am.
25
00:00:54,807 --> 00:00:57,057
An entire building filled with alcohol,
26
00:00:57,082 --> 00:00:59,429
and I will be its queen.
27
00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:02,706
There was a time you
couldn't leave me alone
28
00:01:02,731 --> 00:01:05,773
with half a light beer that
had a cigarette floating in it.
29
00:01:06,546 --> 00:01:08,379
I am so proud of me.
30
00:01:08,404 --> 00:01:09,757
(sighs)
31
00:01:09,782 --> 00:01:11,822
I'd tell you guys to
come and check me out,
32
00:01:11,847 --> 00:01:15,302
but it's a bar, so...
feels a bit inapro-pro.
33
00:01:15,327 --> 00:01:16,327
(chuckles softly)
34
00:01:16,352 --> 00:01:17,937
That's all I got.
35
00:01:19,835 --> 00:01:21,392
You already shared.
36
00:01:21,417 --> 00:01:23,361
I know, but I didn't mention
that I have a boyfriend.
37
00:01:23,385 --> 00:01:25,836
Hi. Jill, alcoholic with a boyfriend.
38
00:01:25,861 --> 00:01:27,110
Okay, you go.
39
00:01:27,251 --> 00:01:28,199
(clears throat)
40
00:01:28,224 --> 00:01:29,640
Hi. Tammy, alcoholic.
41
00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:30,831
Just got on Tinder.
42
00:01:30,856 --> 00:01:33,476
So far, it's been mildly disturbing.
43
00:01:33,739 --> 00:01:34,905
GROUP: Hi, Tammy.
44
00:01:34,930 --> 00:01:37,064
I just got passed over
for a temporary promotion
45
00:01:37,089 --> 00:01:38,459
at the bar where I work.
46
00:01:38,484 --> 00:01:40,021
Now, some might call it nepotism,
47
00:01:40,046 --> 00:01:41,378
but I choose to believe
48
00:01:41,403 --> 00:01:44,273
it's because I'm simply too
valuable in my current position.
49
00:01:44,765 --> 00:01:46,000
That's called self-esteem,
50
00:01:46,025 --> 00:01:48,191
and it's not something
you get just because
51
00:01:48,216 --> 00:01:50,148
your mom married the bar owner.
52
00:01:50,173 --> 00:01:51,422
Thank you.
53
00:01:52,834 --> 00:01:57,834
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
54
00:02:05,539 --> 00:02:06,659
(gasps)
55
00:02:06,684 --> 00:02:08,934
Am I allowed to say
this place is amazing
56
00:02:08,959 --> 00:02:11,117
if I'm the one who picked it out?
57
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,609
Well, I picked you out, and I
say you're amazing every day.
58
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,193
Aw... Mm.
59
00:02:16,218 --> 00:02:17,551
(chuckles): Whoa.
60
00:02:17,576 --> 00:02:19,111
Oh, cool!
61
00:02:19,136 --> 00:02:20,586
A bearskin rug!
62
00:02:20,611 --> 00:02:23,649
Tell me doing it on a dead
bear is not on your bucket list.
63
00:02:23,674 --> 00:02:25,344
(chuckles) Oh, wow.
64
00:02:25,369 --> 00:02:27,764
A bowl of apples. Super friggin' classy.
65
00:02:27,789 --> 00:02:29,455
Hey, and they're real.
66
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,430
(gags) They're not
good, but they're real.
67
00:02:31,482 --> 00:02:32,981
Babe, this place is incredible.
68
00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:34,733
Oh, honey, look at us.
69
00:02:34,768 --> 00:02:37,774
We're on our honeymoon, and
the setting is so perfect.
70
00:02:37,799 --> 00:02:39,821
And, oh, my God! (gasps)
71
00:02:39,846 --> 00:02:41,383
There's a family of deer
72
00:02:41,408 --> 00:02:43,687
grazing on what can only be described
73
00:02:43,712 --> 00:02:45,195
as a meadow.
74
00:02:46,356 --> 00:02:48,070
Pants off. We're mounting the bear.
75
00:02:51,669 --> 00:02:53,919
All right, team. Listen up.
76
00:02:53,954 --> 00:02:55,120
As you guys know,
77
00:02:55,172 --> 00:02:57,789
Adam left me in charge
of the bar this week.
78
00:02:57,841 --> 00:03:00,257
We know 'cause she's
told us eight times.
79
00:03:00,828 --> 00:03:02,044
And here's the deal:
80
00:03:02,290 --> 00:03:04,490
I have not been able
to get my mom and Adam
81
00:03:04,515 --> 00:03:07,466
a proper wedding gift because
Visa recently invited me
82
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:09,546
to stop using my credit card.
83
00:03:10,554 --> 00:03:12,248
So, my wedding gift
84
00:03:12,273 --> 00:03:15,057
!is going to be to give
this bar back to Adam
85
00:03:15,142 --> 00:03:19,038
with amazing improvements in
efficiency and profitability.
86
00:03:19,063 --> 00:03:20,290
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
87
00:03:20,314 --> 00:03:22,033
But okay, I'm not in charge.
88
00:03:22,366 --> 00:03:23,658
Tammy?
89
00:03:24,044 --> 00:03:26,712
Do we have a chain
of command issue here?
90
00:03:26,737 --> 00:03:29,095
Sorry, boss... 's stepdaughter.
91
00:03:30,439 --> 00:03:33,329
I am going to run
this bar a bit smarter.
92
00:03:33,354 --> 00:03:34,553
For example...
93
00:03:34,578 --> 00:03:37,329
And the alcoholic part of
me dies when I say this...
94
00:03:37,787 --> 00:03:39,877
We make our drinks too strong.
95
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:44,884
So, I am implementing the
one-two-three-four pour.
96
00:03:45,082 --> 00:03:47,533
To get exactly an ounce into a cocktail,
97
00:03:47,558 --> 00:03:49,338
you pour and count.
98
00:03:49,884 --> 00:03:53,622
One, two, three, four.
99
00:03:53,861 --> 00:03:55,157
And what should I count to
100
00:03:55,182 --> 00:03:57,619
if I ever want the
customers to come back?
101
00:03:58,213 --> 00:04:00,602
TAMMY: Hey, Rick,
what's with the pushback?
102
00:04:00,627 --> 00:04:02,236
Is it 'cause she's a woman?
103
00:04:03,384 --> 00:04:05,649
I'm not gonna answer that truthfully
104
00:04:05,674 --> 00:04:07,140
with four women in the room.
105
00:04:08,361 --> 00:04:11,496
Look, over-pouring by
even a quarter of an ounce
106
00:04:11,521 --> 00:04:13,475
can cost up to ten drinks per bottle.
107
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,367
Bam! Guess who did her homework!
108
00:04:15,392 --> 00:04:17,197
Our tiny little leader!
109
00:04:17,627 --> 00:04:19,932
Thanks for coming over to my side.
110
00:04:19,957 --> 00:04:22,377
I didn't. I just really hate Rick.
111
00:04:24,232 --> 00:04:26,232
♪ ♪
112
00:04:29,632 --> 00:04:31,632
(water flowing)
113
00:04:35,103 --> 00:04:36,688
BONNIE: (sighs) This is awesome.
114
00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:39,166
It's the most peaceful
place I've ever been.
115
00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:42,417
God, I hate those sunglasses.
116
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:46,008
Why did he wait till our honeymoon
117
00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:48,384
to break out the hideous ladies eye-wear?
118
00:04:52,182 --> 00:04:53,215
Ugh!
119
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,790
All that's missing is a sun hat
120
00:04:54,815 --> 00:04:56,736
and a tiny Chihuahua.
121
00:04:57,195 --> 00:04:58,894
Where'd you get those sunglasses?
122
00:04:58,919 --> 00:05:01,377
- The mall. Aren't they great?
- Mm-hmm.
123
00:05:02,332 --> 00:05:05,384
Got two pair, in case
anything happens to these.
124
00:05:05,419 --> 00:05:07,386
(scoffs) There goes that plan.
125
00:05:07,421 --> 00:05:10,361
Hey, hey. Stop picking on
him. He's a great guy
126
00:05:10,386 --> 00:05:12,783
who loves you more than anyone ever has.
127
00:05:14,296 --> 00:05:16,296
(chuckles)
128
00:05:18,981 --> 00:05:21,587
Holy crap, he's a book chuckler.
129
00:05:23,581 --> 00:05:25,414
I'm staring down the barrel of 50 years
130
00:05:25,439 --> 00:05:27,174
with a book chuckler.
131
00:05:27,634 --> 00:05:29,947
I should throw myself
off this deck right now.
132
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:32,755
Oh, come on. Stop.
133
00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:34,079
Look at the view.
134
00:05:34,306 --> 00:05:35,808
Clear blue sky.
135
00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:37,115
Beautiful lake.
136
00:05:37,401 --> 00:05:38,401
(deep breath)
137
00:05:39,023 --> 00:05:40,272
A little noisy.
138
00:05:40,338 --> 00:05:42,337
Stupid tiny waves.
139
00:05:42,423 --> 00:05:44,122
Shut up, lake.
140
00:05:44,269 --> 00:05:46,185
What is wrong with me?
141
00:05:46,210 --> 00:05:48,010
I'm in the perfect place
with the perfect man,
142
00:05:48,035 --> 00:05:49,488
and all I can think about is,
143
00:05:49,513 --> 00:05:51,713
"How far do I have to
swim out into that lake
144
00:05:51,738 --> 00:05:53,487
before I can't make it back?"
145
00:05:54,601 --> 00:05:57,709
- I'm so happy.
- Not as happy as me!
146
00:06:01,475 --> 00:06:04,579
One, two, three, four.
147
00:06:05,118 --> 00:06:08,373
One, two, three, four.
148
00:06:08,398 --> 00:06:10,365
Come on, Rick. Pick it
up. What's the problem?
149
00:06:10,511 --> 00:06:12,294
You changed the way I do everything,
150
00:06:12,319 --> 00:06:13,702
so it takes twice as long.
151
00:06:13,847 --> 00:06:15,764
All my changes are time-savers.
152
00:06:15,789 --> 00:06:17,489
Oh, well, speaking just for me...
153
00:06:17,514 --> 00:06:19,743
And everyone else... they're not.
154
00:06:20,833 --> 00:06:22,165
And here are your chicken wings.
155
00:06:22,246 --> 00:06:23,495
I ordered nachos.
156
00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:26,275
- CHRISTY: Tammy?
- Those go to table four.
157
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,333
This is four. This is the old four.
158
00:06:28,358 --> 00:06:31,040
I'm sorry, I do not
understand your insane system.
159
00:06:32,247 --> 00:06:35,067
There is nothing insane about clockwise.
160
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:36,819
You start at the bar,
161
00:06:36,844 --> 00:06:39,845
then go one, two, three, four.
162
00:06:39,870 --> 00:06:42,474
Why do all your new
rules involve counting?
163
00:06:43,844 --> 00:06:45,878
Just go get those people their 'chos.
164
00:06:45,903 --> 00:06:49,354
Christy, saying "'chos" isn't
any faster than saying "nachos."
165
00:06:49,379 --> 00:06:50,379
It absolutely is.
166
00:06:50,404 --> 00:06:52,237
- No, it's not.
- I'll prove it to you.
167
00:06:52,386 --> 00:06:54,887
- When I count to three...
- Oh, my God. More counting.
168
00:06:55,169 --> 00:06:57,112
You say "nachos," I'll say "'chos."
169
00:06:57,257 --> 00:06:58,640
One, two, three.
170
00:06:58,665 --> 00:06:59,581
- Nachos.
- 'Chos.
171
00:06:59,606 --> 00:07:01,333
BOTH: See? I win!
172
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,419
No! I win because I'm in charge.
173
00:07:04,444 --> 00:07:06,181
Fine. All right. What about beef nachos?
174
00:07:06,206 --> 00:07:07,873
You want me to just say "beef 'chos"?
175
00:07:07,898 --> 00:07:09,731
Those are obviously b-chos.
176
00:07:10,069 --> 00:07:12,319
I think you're being kind of a b-Cho.
177
00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:15,824
If you need me, I'll be out here
178
00:07:15,849 --> 00:07:18,110
getting more mountain air, my love!
179
00:07:18,135 --> 00:07:20,051
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
180
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:25,357
MARJORIE: Hello. How's
the happy newlywed?
181
00:07:25,392 --> 00:07:28,552
Everything is perfect and
I'm completely miserable.
182
00:07:28,923 --> 00:07:31,400
And if I'm completely
miserable on our honeymoon,
183
00:07:31,425 --> 00:07:32,958
what does that say about our marriage?
184
00:07:32,983 --> 00:07:34,783
Not gonna work, that's what it says.
185
00:07:34,808 --> 00:07:36,678
I'm guessing you haven't
been to a meeting.
186
00:07:36,703 --> 00:07:38,309
I'm in the middle of nowhere.
What am I supposed to do,
187
00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:40,544
find a raccoon with a whiskey problem?
188
00:07:41,218 --> 00:07:42,467
Check online.
189
00:07:42,492 --> 00:07:44,763
There are alcoholics everywhere,
even in the wilderness.
190
00:07:44,791 --> 00:07:46,692
After four years of
sobriety, I'd like to think
191
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:48,517
I could go a week without a meeting.
192
00:07:48,715 --> 00:07:51,082
You know, Bonnie, when
you packed your suitcase,
193
00:07:51,107 --> 00:07:52,583
you also packed yourself.
194
00:07:52,814 --> 00:07:55,224
I also packed a phone
charger. What's your point?
195
00:07:55,497 --> 00:07:57,973
I'll say it so a child could understand.
196
00:07:57,998 --> 00:08:01,570
You have alcoholism here,
you have alcoholism there,
197
00:08:01,595 --> 00:08:04,528
you have alcoholism everywhere.
198
00:08:05,043 --> 00:08:07,326
I will punch you here,
I will punch you there,
199
00:08:07,351 --> 00:08:09,100
I will punch you everywhere.
200
00:08:09,125 --> 00:08:11,364
I don't need a meeting!
201
00:08:11,809 --> 00:08:15,890
Bonnie, we have a disease,
and meetings are our medicine.
202
00:08:16,169 --> 00:08:19,588
And if you don't want to
go, the only other choice
203
00:08:19,613 --> 00:08:21,789
(distorted): you have is to...
204
00:08:25,646 --> 00:08:28,484
Hello? Hello?
205
00:08:29,234 --> 00:08:33,453
What's the other choice?
What's the other choice?!
206
00:08:34,029 --> 00:08:35,195
Damn it!
207
00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:37,762
(screams)
208
00:08:37,798 --> 00:08:39,798
(water splashes)
209
00:08:43,906 --> 00:08:45,258
Hey, babe.
210
00:08:48,376 --> 00:08:49,701
Apropos of nothing,
211
00:08:49,726 --> 00:08:51,526
I was wondering if
you wanted to swing by
212
00:08:51,551 --> 00:08:53,622
Conference Room B at
the American Legion Hall
213
00:08:53,647 --> 00:08:55,113
from 11:00 to 12:00?
214
00:09:03,156 --> 00:09:05,516
I love small towns like this.
215
00:09:06,159 --> 00:09:09,197
Look, a barber shop with a pole. Ha.
216
00:09:09,222 --> 00:09:11,723
Maybe while you're in your
meeting, I'll get my hair cut.
217
00:09:11,748 --> 00:09:13,548
Yeah, maybe there's a
ladies sunglasses store.
218
00:09:13,573 --> 00:09:15,156
You can just go crazy.
219
00:09:15,181 --> 00:09:17,669
Wait, do you not like my glasses?
220
00:09:17,694 --> 00:09:20,290
No, I always wanted to be
married to Audrey Hepburn.
221
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:24,657
How about we discuss
this after you're done?
222
00:09:24,811 --> 00:09:27,345
We could get lunch at that
cute little diner we passed.
223
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:29,954
Or we could get Breakfast at Tiffany's.
224
00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:32,183
- Okay, where is this meeting?
- There, there.
225
00:09:32,208 --> 00:09:34,546
See those guys smoking
cigarettes and guzzling coffee?
226
00:09:34,571 --> 00:09:36,248
- Those are my people.
- Yeah, wait, hang on, hang on!
227
00:09:36,273 --> 00:09:37,355
Let me stop the car...
228
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,296
- Back in an hour!
- I love you.
229
00:09:39,568 --> 00:09:41,568
Come back normal!
230
00:09:45,123 --> 00:09:48,242
- Hey, Patty.
- Hey, Jim.
231
00:09:48,735 --> 00:09:50,775
- Hey, Patty.
- Hey, Stan.
232
00:09:50,914 --> 00:09:53,654
- Hey, Jim.
- Hey, Stan.
233
00:09:53,749 --> 00:09:55,381
Hi. Hello to everyone.
234
00:09:55,406 --> 00:09:57,656
I thought this was the 11:00 meeting.
235
00:09:58,471 --> 00:10:00,221
Well, it's the same
six people every day,
236
00:10:00,246 --> 00:10:02,561
so it starts when it starts. (chuckles)
237
00:10:02,586 --> 00:10:04,502
Not what I want to hear.
238
00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,061
- I'm Patty.
- Bonnie.
239
00:10:07,086 --> 00:10:09,023
You seem a little jumpy. Are you new?
240
00:10:09,048 --> 00:10:10,247
I have four years.
241
00:10:10,272 --> 00:10:12,501
Really? Is that what I
have to look forward to?
242
00:10:13,118 --> 00:10:16,670
- How long do you have?
- This time it's ten days.
243
00:10:17,189 --> 00:10:19,056
It's nice to have
someone from out of town.
244
00:10:19,081 --> 00:10:20,149
Where are you from?
245
00:10:20,174 --> 00:10:22,334
Is it someplace exciting
like Philadelphia? (chuckles)
246
00:10:22,359 --> 00:10:24,149
I've always wanted
to go to Philadelphia.
247
00:10:24,174 --> 00:10:26,090
Run up those steps like Rocky.
248
00:10:26,115 --> 00:10:28,368
But then I heard it's
harder than it looks.
249
00:10:28,935 --> 00:10:30,201
I'm from Napa,
250
00:10:30,226 --> 00:10:32,226
where the meetings start on time! Hey!
251
00:10:32,251 --> 00:10:33,868
Can we get this pony
on the straightaway?
252
00:10:33,893 --> 00:10:35,059
(chuckles): Well,
253
00:10:35,084 --> 00:10:36,500
welcome there, Napa.
254
00:10:36,663 --> 00:10:38,250
You're in my seat.
255
00:10:38,494 --> 00:10:40,194
Stan, just sit over there.
256
00:10:41,261 --> 00:10:43,469
Hi. What's your name?
257
00:10:43,494 --> 00:10:45,383
"Start the meeting." That's my name.
258
00:10:45,408 --> 00:10:47,305
Sometimes I go by "do it now."
259
00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:50,047
(laughs) You are funny.
260
00:10:50,529 --> 00:10:52,133
How about you be our speaker today?
261
00:10:52,158 --> 00:10:54,387
Wait, wait, wait. You said I
was gonna be the speaker today.
262
00:10:54,412 --> 00:10:55,711
I was gonna tell my barn story.
263
00:10:55,736 --> 00:10:57,236
(all groan)
264
00:10:57,764 --> 00:10:59,597
What? It's funny.
265
00:10:59,915 --> 00:11:03,090
He got drunk, burned
down the barn, the end.
266
00:11:03,403 --> 00:11:07,282
Well, it's funny when I tell
it and... when I'm in that seat.
267
00:11:08,141 --> 00:11:09,527
Just go.
268
00:11:09,599 --> 00:11:11,188
Bonnie, alcoholic.
269
00:11:11,384 --> 00:11:12,883
- GROUP: Hi, Bonnie.
- (sighs)
270
00:11:12,908 --> 00:11:14,852
So, I'm in town 'cause
I'm on my honeymoon,
271
00:11:14,877 --> 00:11:17,183
and I'm-I'm sort of
ruining my honeymoon
272
00:11:17,215 --> 00:11:19,540
'cause I have alcoholism,
and I never met a good thing
273
00:11:19,565 --> 00:11:21,141
I couldn't turn into a bad thing.
274
00:11:21,836 --> 00:11:25,896
I come by it honestly. My mother
abandoned me when I was four.
275
00:11:26,204 --> 00:11:29,352
Well, so far, it's no barn story, huh?
276
00:11:34,931 --> 00:11:37,381
We're about to open. Where's my staff?
277
00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,977
I just got a text from Rick.
278
00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:40,368
He says he's not feeling well,
279
00:11:40,393 --> 00:11:42,508
and he won't be better till Adam's back.
280
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:44,961
What a jerk.
281
00:11:44,986 --> 00:11:47,524
There's, like, a bajillion
games on today.
282
00:11:48,235 --> 00:11:51,532
Okay. Okay, we're a man
down, but we can handle it.
283
00:11:51,557 --> 00:11:53,344
Jenny and Sharon are sick, too.
284
00:11:53,369 --> 00:11:55,907
- Who's Sharon?
- The one you call Karen.
285
00:11:57,407 --> 00:11:59,490
Well, I think the takeaway
286
00:11:59,515 --> 00:12:01,782
is that their work ethic is
even worse than I thought.
287
00:12:01,807 --> 00:12:03,140
Oh, is that the takeaway?
288
00:12:03,381 --> 00:12:06,188
'Cause there's a second takeaway
where you're a lady dick.
289
00:12:07,624 --> 00:12:09,938
If I'm so terrible, why are you here?
290
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,469
'Cause you're my friend.
291
00:12:11,494 --> 00:12:14,508
Really? But you just called me a dick.
292
00:12:14,533 --> 00:12:16,867
Yeah, to your face, like a real friend.
293
00:12:17,719 --> 00:12:19,196
Aw.
294
00:12:19,754 --> 00:12:21,563
You've kind of been a dick, too.
295
00:12:21,588 --> 00:12:23,672
Come on, bring it in. Huh?
296
00:12:24,682 --> 00:12:26,065
(chuckles)
297
00:12:26,737 --> 00:12:29,055
What do we got to do
to get you to move here?
298
00:12:29,563 --> 00:12:31,628
Your story was unbelievable.
299
00:12:31,653 --> 00:12:35,071
- And that was only volume one,
my friend. - (laughs)
300
00:12:35,407 --> 00:12:36,915
Hey, great share.
301
00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:38,641
You know, the thing about my barn story
302
00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:41,300
is that the, uh, door was
locked from the outside.
303
00:12:41,426 --> 00:12:42,675
Who locked it?
304
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,610
It's a mystery.
305
00:12:44,635 --> 00:12:47,552
No, it's not. It was your wife.
306
00:12:49,731 --> 00:12:52,031
Bonnie, you were amazing.
307
00:12:52,056 --> 00:12:54,151
I mean, hearing you
made me actually think
308
00:12:54,176 --> 00:12:55,719
- I could stay sober.
- Thanks.
309
00:12:56,211 --> 00:12:58,295
No, you don't understand.
310
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,686
I've been in and out for years,
and I've never felt like this.
311
00:13:01,711 --> 00:13:03,961
The way you talked about your daughter
312
00:13:03,986 --> 00:13:05,403
really touched me.
313
00:13:05,711 --> 00:13:09,032
I've got a little girl,
but she got taken away.
314
00:13:09,057 --> 00:13:11,441
Lives with my mom while
I'm trying to get clean.
315
00:13:11,865 --> 00:13:13,114
But ever since she left,
316
00:13:13,139 --> 00:13:15,766
I-I can't put more than
three days together.
317
00:13:15,791 --> 00:13:18,126
I thought you said you had ten days.
318
00:13:18,344 --> 00:13:21,645
I was rounding up. I have one.
319
00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:24,054
I could wallpaper a house
with my one-day chips.
320
00:13:24,079 --> 00:13:25,578
Now I've got a four-year coin.
321
00:13:25,684 --> 00:13:27,579
I accidentally used it
for a wish in a fountain,
322
00:13:27,604 --> 00:13:30,007
but I know it's at
the mall if I need it.
323
00:13:30,032 --> 00:13:31,999
Wow, I'm so glad I met you.
324
00:13:32,024 --> 00:13:33,290
I almost didn't come.
325
00:13:33,315 --> 00:13:36,015
How often do you go to
meetings? Twice a week.
326
00:13:37,615 --> 00:13:39,364
Once a week.
327
00:13:40,583 --> 00:13:43,167
Hey, I came today. (chuckles)
328
00:13:43,202 --> 00:13:45,002
If you had cancer and I told you
329
00:13:45,037 --> 00:13:47,004
all you had to do to
keep it in remission
330
00:13:47,029 --> 00:13:48,996
was hit four meetings
a week, wouldn't you go?
331
00:13:49,101 --> 00:13:52,259
Oh, wow. Can you actually
fix cancer that way?
332
00:13:52,284 --> 00:13:54,818
(chuckles) That should be bigger news.
333
00:13:54,843 --> 00:13:58,261
No, but it works pretty
good for our thing.
334
00:13:58,286 --> 00:14:01,211
We have a disease, and
meetings are our medicine.
335
00:14:01,937 --> 00:14:05,501
You are literally the
wisest woman in AA.
336
00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:08,167
Yes, I am.
337
00:14:09,991 --> 00:14:11,821
- (exhales) Hey.
- Hey.
338
00:14:12,481 --> 00:14:13,493
Where are your sunglasses?
339
00:14:13,518 --> 00:14:15,518
I'm not wearing them
anymore. Let's move on.
340
00:14:15,543 --> 00:14:17,876
No, no, they're fine. I
was just in a bad mood.
341
00:14:17,901 --> 00:14:18,901
Really?
342
00:14:24,748 --> 00:14:26,247
I can't.
343
00:14:28,631 --> 00:14:30,414
PATTY: Hey, thanks for waiting.
344
00:14:30,466 --> 00:14:31,832
You must be Adam.
345
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:33,861
Right.
346
00:14:33,886 --> 00:14:35,313
This is Patty. She's coming to lunch.
347
00:14:35,337 --> 00:14:37,554
New in the program and
a very big fan of mine.
348
00:14:37,590 --> 00:14:39,590
(chuckles) Aren't we all.
349
00:14:42,434 --> 00:14:44,231
Here are your jalapeño poppers.
350
00:14:44,256 --> 00:14:45,622
I ordered mozzarella sticks.
351
00:14:45,981 --> 00:14:47,898
Buddy, I am this close to crying,
352
00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:49,566
and once I start, I cannot stop.
353
00:14:49,602 --> 00:14:52,102
So I'm gonna need you to
suck it up and eat the poppers
354
00:14:52,188 --> 00:14:54,605
or cradle me like a baby
for the next three hours.
355
00:14:58,410 --> 00:15:00,110
- (clamoring)
- Yeah.
356
00:15:00,135 --> 00:15:01,751
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
357
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,526
Ugh.
358
00:15:03,551 --> 00:15:05,601
Oh, uh...
359
00:15:05,721 --> 00:15:07,721
Who wants whatever this is?
360
00:15:09,059 --> 00:15:11,038
Come on, people, it's alcohol!
361
00:15:11,063 --> 00:15:12,613
What's wrong with you?
362
00:15:12,638 --> 00:15:14,356
I need two martinis.
363
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:15,854
- MARJORIE: On it.
- (ice shaking)
364
00:15:15,878 --> 00:15:17,628
Where'd you come from?
365
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,013
Tammy called, said you needed help.
366
00:15:20,099 --> 00:15:22,132
Been a minute since I tended bar,
367
00:15:22,157 --> 00:15:23,876
but I think I got this.
368
00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:28,267
Don't take this the wrong way,
but you've never been hotter.
369
00:15:29,024 --> 00:15:31,064
Hey, I ordered a
whiskey half an hour ago.
370
00:15:31,089 --> 00:15:32,499
Oh, did you? You want to know
371
00:15:32,524 --> 00:15:34,121
what I've been doing the last half hour?
372
00:15:34,146 --> 00:15:36,291
Trying to find table three
'cause you can't count clockwise
373
00:15:36,316 --> 00:15:38,064
when you don't know where midnight is!
374
00:15:39,652 --> 00:15:41,618
Tammy, why don't you let me handle this.
375
00:15:41,643 --> 00:15:43,526
Oh, thank God you made it.
376
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:46,957
- What can I get you?
- A whiskey. I've been waiting forever.
377
00:15:46,992 --> 00:15:49,826
Friend, I'm gonna say
you're at fault here
378
00:15:49,851 --> 00:15:51,360
for ordering just one drink at a time.
379
00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:53,936
In a crowded bar, you
always order at least two.
380
00:15:53,961 --> 00:15:55,314
But my ice would melt.
381
00:15:55,339 --> 00:15:56,895
Oh, honey, if your ice is melting,
382
00:15:56,919 --> 00:15:58,502
you're drinking too damn slow.
383
00:15:58,527 --> 00:16:00,837
Now let's get your buzz on.
How many drinks do you want?
384
00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:04,508
- Two?
- I heard four.
385
00:16:06,113 --> 00:16:08,447
I came as soon as I
could. What can I do?
386
00:16:08,472 --> 00:16:11,071
We need six orders of beef
nachos and mozzarella sticks.
387
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,063
Okay, b-chos and
mo-sticks coming up.
388
00:16:13,088 --> 00:16:14,728
Why did you call them that?
389
00:16:14,753 --> 00:16:15,868
'Cause it's faster.
390
00:16:16,071 --> 00:16:17,876
I love you.
391
00:16:18,567 --> 00:16:22,786
I need two bourbons, neat,
for table three and/or seven.
392
00:16:22,970 --> 00:16:24,126
Got it.
393
00:16:24,914 --> 00:16:26,697
Tammy, thanks for calling in the troops.
394
00:16:26,722 --> 00:16:29,147
- You guys are saving my ass.
- No problem.
395
00:16:29,339 --> 00:16:31,673
Adam really should've
left you in charge.
396
00:16:32,133 --> 00:16:34,133
I know.
397
00:16:37,486 --> 00:16:40,237
BONNIE: Oh, my God. I'm
finally enjoying myself.
398
00:16:40,289 --> 00:16:41,572
I can be on this deck
399
00:16:41,597 --> 00:16:43,297
without wanting to leap to my death.
400
00:16:43,322 --> 00:16:46,039
All I needed was to
be with the man I love
401
00:16:46,215 --> 00:16:48,248
and this near total stranger.
402
00:16:49,056 --> 00:16:52,032
Mmm. Adam, this steak is amazing.
403
00:16:52,057 --> 00:16:53,196
What'd you put on it?
404
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,104
- Salt and pepper.
- Mmm.
405
00:16:56,173 --> 00:16:57,196
Genius.
406
00:16:57,221 --> 00:16:59,888
And thanks for cooking it extra
well-done for me. (chuckles)
407
00:16:59,913 --> 00:17:02,163
Does get rid of all
that nasty juiciness.
408
00:17:02,534 --> 00:17:04,284
(chuckles)
409
00:17:04,309 --> 00:17:06,595
So, Patty, are you in a relationship?
410
00:17:06,756 --> 00:17:08,705
Yeah, well, I'm kind of married.
411
00:17:09,188 --> 00:17:11,595
- Wh-What does that mean?
- Oh.
412
00:17:11,620 --> 00:17:13,001
He wanted an open thing.
413
00:17:13,026 --> 00:17:15,954
So I said, "Okay, one
rule: nobody I know."
414
00:17:15,979 --> 00:17:16,811
Never works.
415
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,836
- What?
- Shh. She's talking.
416
00:17:20,759 --> 00:17:22,657
Then last year, he went
and slept with Heather,
417
00:17:22,682 --> 00:17:23,964
who I groom dogs with.
418
00:17:23,989 --> 00:17:25,639
And then she got pregnant,
419
00:17:25,664 --> 00:17:27,831
so most of the time,
he lives at her place.
420
00:17:27,856 --> 00:17:29,320
Well, unless they're fighting.
421
00:17:29,345 --> 00:17:31,345
Then he stays with me. That's cool.
422
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:35,009
Well, it was cool until I got evicted.
423
00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:37,071
Now I live in the back of the pet store.
424
00:17:37,096 --> 00:17:38,782
I put three dog beds together,
425
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,341
but it still feels
like I'm on the floor.
426
00:17:41,665 --> 00:17:43,081
You guys got animals?
427
00:17:43,106 --> 00:17:45,022
We have a golden retriever named Gus.
428
00:17:45,047 --> 00:17:48,131
Oh. Does he need a haircut
or his anal glands expressed?
429
00:17:49,289 --> 00:17:51,589
I'm a magician with an anal gland.
430
00:17:52,117 --> 00:17:53,431
Okay, you know what?
431
00:17:53,456 --> 00:17:55,656
I'm gonna go ahead and take this inside.
432
00:17:57,790 --> 00:17:59,142
Sorry.
433
00:17:59,340 --> 00:18:01,507
It sounds like you're really
going through a hard time.
434
00:18:01,532 --> 00:18:04,083
The only thing I care
about is my daughter.
435
00:18:04,108 --> 00:18:07,276
It was her birthday last
week. I didn't even see her.
436
00:18:07,301 --> 00:18:08,384
'Cause you were drunk?
437
00:18:09,747 --> 00:18:11,080
I've been there.
438
00:18:11,603 --> 00:18:13,327
I'm never gonna get her back.
439
00:18:14,788 --> 00:18:18,141
In my experience, if you put
your focus on your sobriety,
440
00:18:18,437 --> 00:18:19,679
everything else in your life
441
00:18:19,704 --> 00:18:21,298
will work out better
than you could imagine.
442
00:18:21,323 --> 00:18:23,156
I mean, I have an
incredible relationship with
443
00:18:23,181 --> 00:18:26,132
my daughter now, and I'm married
to that wonderful guy in there.
444
00:18:26,157 --> 00:18:27,773
Is he wonderful?
445
00:18:29,405 --> 00:18:30,741
He seems kind of grumpy.
446
00:18:30,766 --> 00:18:33,007
Oh. (chuckles) That's my fault.
447
00:18:33,218 --> 00:18:35,375
Um, I've been a bit of
a handful on this trip.
448
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,265
(chuckles): Actually, I'm a
bit of a handful all the time.
449
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:40,208
But the point is I
used to be much worse.
450
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,245
Will you be my sponsor?
451
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,040
What?
452
00:18:46,315 --> 00:18:48,155
I-I know you don't live around here,
453
00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:50,671
but... we could talk on
the phone and stuff.
454
00:18:53,512 --> 00:18:55,479
I would really like that.
455
00:18:55,854 --> 00:18:59,555
- ADAM: All right, I'm going to bed!
- I'm in the middle of something!
456
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,674
So, I want you to call me every day,
457
00:19:04,699 --> 00:19:07,199
but never after 8:00.
My marriage comes first.
458
00:19:10,253 --> 00:19:12,003
(both sigh)
459
00:19:12,188 --> 00:19:14,722
I finally get what all the
honeymoon fuss is about.
460
00:19:14,747 --> 00:19:16,030
This is great.
461
00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:17,721
Yeah, it is.
462
00:19:21,236 --> 00:19:22,657
(sighs)
463
00:19:22,682 --> 00:19:24,632
I could do this all night long.
464
00:19:25,213 --> 00:19:28,291
I could, too. Except we can't.
465
00:19:29,666 --> 00:19:31,305
Patty's coming over?
466
00:19:31,357 --> 00:19:33,140
Yeah. (grunts)
467
00:19:33,165 --> 00:19:35,165
She'll be here in 15 minutes.
468
00:19:37,065 --> 00:19:40,854
So, I guess she's kind of
part of our honeymoon now, huh?
469
00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:42,245
I'm sorry.
470
00:19:42,535 --> 00:19:44,151
I know she's a little crazy.
471
00:19:44,203 --> 00:19:45,705
Yeah.
472
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,510
But ever since you've been
helping her, you're not.
473
00:19:50,213 --> 00:19:51,292
Wow.
474
00:19:51,635 --> 00:19:53,461
You really know me. (chuckles)
475
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:55,630
But you love me anyway.
476
00:19:55,655 --> 00:19:56,704
(chuckles): I do.
477
00:19:56,892 --> 00:19:58,425
And I always will.
478
00:20:01,025 --> 00:20:03,314
We've got 13 minutes.
Let's ride the bear.
479
00:20:03,339 --> 00:20:04,839
(doorbell rings)
480
00:20:05,002 --> 00:20:08,152
Come on! What kind
of alcoholic is early?
481
00:20:08,177 --> 00:20:13,445
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
35108
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