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1
00:00:02,489 --> 00:00:05,959
- [ Rings]
- Hello?
2
00:01:18,298 --> 00:01:21,006
Filet mignon is
3.99 a pound?
3
00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:23,570
That's almost
four dollars a pound.
4
00:01:23,637 --> 00:01:25,583
Yeah, I know
it's expensive, honey...
5
00:01:25,639 --> 00:01:28,711
but I can't recreate our first anniversary
dinner without filet mignon.
6
00:01:28,775 --> 00:01:31,221
What about this?
It's only 89 cents a pound.
7
00:01:32,946 --> 00:01:36,860
- What is it?
- “Mystery burger.“
8
00:01:43,557 --> 00:01:45,833
Why, Dr. Hartley.
9
00:01:45,892 --> 00:01:49,066
- Oh, what a nice surprise.
- Well, h-hi, Mrs. Bakerman.
10
00:01:49,129 --> 00:01:52,838
Uh, you know my wife, Emily.
This is Mrs. Bakerman. She's a patient of mine.
11
00:01:52,899 --> 00:01:55,277
- Sure. I know Mrs. Bakerman. Hello.
- Hello.
12
00:01:55,335 --> 00:01:59,340
- Welcome to my check stand.
- Well, thank you. It's, uh- It's very homey.
13
00:02:00,373 --> 00:02:02,319
Excuse me, Mac.
Excuse me.
14
00:02:02,375 --> 00:02:05,185
Is this the express line?
15
00:02:05,245 --> 00:02:07,282
We don't have
an express line.
16
00:02:07,347 --> 00:02:10,260
Oh. Uh-
Can I go ahead of you?
17
00:02:13,753 --> 00:02:15,323
No.
18
00:02:15,388 --> 00:02:18,232
I'm sorry, but you'll
have to wait your turn.
19
00:02:18,291 --> 00:02:20,328
- I'll move as fast as I can.
- Hmm.
20
00:02:20,393 --> 00:02:24,671
- Well, how's everything?
- Fine.
21
00:02:24,731 --> 00:02:27,177
Do you notice anything
different about me, Dr. Hartley?
22
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,544
Uh, is it your-your hair?
23
00:02:29,603 --> 00:02:31,810
No.
24
00:02:31,872 --> 00:02:34,375
It's my box boy.
You were right.
25
00:02:34,441 --> 00:02:37,945
I spoke up to my store manager,
and he gave me one.
26
00:02:38,011 --> 00:02:41,083
- Isn't he nice?
- Yes. Yes, he is.
27
00:02:41,147 --> 00:02:43,991
Uh, could we see him
in action?
28
00:02:45,118 --> 00:02:47,291
Well, surely you can.
29
00:02:47,354 --> 00:02:49,891
Now, let me see.
What have we purchased today?
30
00:02:49,956 --> 00:02:52,596
[Gasps]
Filet mignon.
31
00:02:52,659 --> 00:02:54,661
I remember that.
32
00:02:55,829 --> 00:02:57,968
It's, uh, 4.15 a pound.
33
00:02:58,031 --> 00:03:00,011
Uh, no. That's 3.99 a pound.
34
00:03:00,066 --> 00:03:02,478
It was this morning,
but I'm afraid it just went up.
35
00:03:03,904 --> 00:03:05,850
This is filet mignon.
36
00:03:05,906 --> 00:03:09,649
Treat it very carefully,
and remember to double bag.
37
00:03:09,709 --> 00:03:12,485
Hi there.
38
00:03:12,545 --> 00:03:14,525
Bob.
39
00:03:14,581 --> 00:03:16,527
That boyjust
winked at me.
40
00:03:18,084 --> 00:03:20,121
You want me to beat him up?
41
00:03:22,122 --> 00:03:24,102
I'll bet you don't remember me,
Miss Harrison.
42
00:03:24,157 --> 00:03:28,435
Miss Harrison? Gee, I haven't been
Miss Harrison for a long time.
43
00:03:28,495 --> 00:03:32,409
- You were my third grade teacher.
- I'm afraid that's not possible.
44
00:03:32,465 --> 00:03:35,912
Uh-l mean, you're much too old
to have been a student of mine.
45
00:03:35,969 --> 00:03:38,347
You must be about, uh,
what, 17?
46
00:03:38,405 --> 00:03:42,444
Eighteen. Ten years ago I was eight,
and you were my teacher atjackson Elementary.
47
00:03:42,509 --> 00:03:46,218
Oh, uh- Don't tell me who you are.
Let me see if I can guess.
48
00:03:46,279 --> 00:03:48,782
- Um, um, Dennis Whipple?
- No.
49
00:03:48,848 --> 00:03:51,260
- Uh, Bobby Karf?
- Nope.
50
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:55,698
- Oh, I'll get it. Uh-
- isn't it wonderful what's happening here?
51
00:03:57,924 --> 00:04:01,098
I'm overcome.
52
00:04:01,161 --> 00:04:04,005
She was his third grade teacher.
They're having a little reunion.
53
00:04:04,064 --> 00:04:08,604
Oh, that's great.
In the meantime, my mystery burger is melting.
54
00:04:08,668 --> 00:04:11,148
- Give me a hint.
- Roy.
55
00:04:11,204 --> 00:04:13,275
_
- Pa rkh u rs t.
56
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:17,220
Roy Parkhurst. Of course.
Little Roy Parkhurst.
57
00:04:17,277 --> 00:04:19,257
Bob, this is
little Roy Parkhurst.
58
00:04:19,312 --> 00:04:23,556
- Howdy.
- Hi, little Roy.
59
00:04:23,616 --> 00:04:26,062
Oh, Roy.
It's so nice to see you.
60
00:04:26,119 --> 00:04:28,963
I can't believe a student of mine
is in high school already.
61
00:04:29,022 --> 00:04:30,626
No. College.
62
00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:32,692
College?
63
00:04:32,759 --> 00:04:34,966
Well, I-l never
would have recognized you.
64
00:04:35,028 --> 00:04:36,974
How did you, uh,
recognize me?
65
00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:38,668
- You look pretty much the same.
- Oh?
66
00:04:38,732 --> 00:04:41,542
Except older.
67
00:04:41,601 --> 00:04:43,638
Well, it's-
it's been 1 O years.
68
00:04:43,703 --> 00:04:48,152
- It sure has.
- And- And my hair is a lot shorter.
69
00:04:48,208 --> 00:04:50,154
- Yeah, I guess that's it.
- Yeah.
70
00:04:50,210 --> 00:04:53,521
- You still teaching? You haven't retired, have you?
- No, I'm-
71
00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:55,651
I'm still hanging in there.
72
00:04:55,715 --> 00:04:58,059
Well, that's it,
Dr. Hartley.
73
00:04:59,719 --> 00:05:03,667
Your grand total is 11.74.
74
00:05:03,723 --> 00:05:05,703
I can write a check,
can't I?
75
00:05:05,759 --> 00:05:09,138
Of course you can write a check.
Why, I've known you for years.
76
00:05:09,195 --> 00:05:11,436
There you are.
77
00:05:11,498 --> 00:05:13,944
Do you have any identification?
78
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,002
Oh!
79
00:05:23,476 --> 00:05:26,150
- That was a great dinner, Emily.
- Oh, thank you, dear.
80
00:05:26,212 --> 00:05:28,214
Better than our first
anniversary dinner?
81
00:05:28,281 --> 00:05:31,319
I think so. Our first anniversary,
you boiled the filet mignon.
82
00:05:31,384 --> 00:05:33,830
Yeah. Well,you didn't
seem to care.
83
00:05:33,887 --> 00:05:36,959
We didn't eat dinner till 2:00 in the morning.
Do you remember?
84
00:05:37,023 --> 00:05:41,028
- Yeah, I sure do. - Then on our second
anniversary we ate at midnight...
85
00:05:41,094 --> 00:05:43,802
and on our third at 10:00."
86
00:05:43,863 --> 00:05:47,208
and lastyear at 8:00
and this year at 6:00 sharp.
87
00:05:48,635 --> 00:05:50,876
You think that
means anything, Bob?
88
00:05:50,937 --> 00:05:54,510
I think it means on our golden anniversary
dinner will be breakfast.
89
00:05:56,109 --> 00:05:59,352
Well, it doesn't matter what time it is.
It was a great dinner.
90
00:05:59,412 --> 00:06:01,892
Yeah, but the tomatoes
were a little squishy.
91
00:06:01,948 --> 00:06:04,428
I think Roy put them
on the bottom of the bag.
92
00:06:04,484 --> 00:06:08,091
You know, Bob, I still can't believe
he was a student of mine.
93
00:06:08,154 --> 00:06:12,102
Emily, it's not your fault. They probably didn't
teach double bagging till the fourth grade.
94
00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:18,731
No, I mean I still can't believe
a student of mine is 18 years old.
95
00:06:18,798 --> 00:06:21,745
Bob, do you realize
I've been teaching for 1 O years?
96
00:06:21,801 --> 00:06:24,475
When you say it that way
it sounds like a long time...
97
00:06:24,537 --> 00:06:26,483
but, uh,
look at it this way:
98
00:06:26,539 --> 00:06:28,610
It's only been one decade.
99
00:06:28,675 --> 00:06:30,712
Oh.
100
00:06:30,777 --> 00:06:33,223
Sounds much better
when you say it that way.
101
00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:37,659
And if you think that it's only been
1/1 Oth of a century, it's no time at all.
102
00:06:37,717 --> 00:06:40,721
Well, happy anniversary,
honey.
103
00:06:40,787 --> 00:06:43,063
I hope you like them.
104
00:06:43,123 --> 00:06:46,536
- I had them specially made.
- Oh.
105
00:06:46,593 --> 00:06:49,096
- Oh, pajamas.
- Yeah.
106
00:06:49,162 --> 00:06:51,108
How'd you know
I needed new pajamas?
107
00:06:51,164 --> 00:06:53,701
Well, your old ones
had holes in the feet.
108
00:06:55,335 --> 00:06:57,941
They're beautiful, Emily.
They're so silky.
109
00:06:58,004 --> 00:07:00,450
Well, they're real silk, Bob-
from the Orient.
110
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:04,478
“Specially made for
Dr. Robert 'Hartrey.'"
111
00:07:04,544 --> 00:07:08,117
Oh, no.
I told them Hartley.
112
00:07:08,181 --> 00:07:12,288
- Well, it doesn't matter. I- I love it.
- Oh. Thank you, dear.
113
00:07:12,352 --> 00:07:14,298
Where's mine?
114
00:07:14,354 --> 00:07:16,800
I've been hiding it
right over here.
115
00:07:18,591 --> 00:07:21,071
- Oh.
- Happy anniversary.
116
00:07:21,127 --> 00:07:24,370
Oh, Bob. That's heavy.
117
00:07:24,430 --> 00:07:26,967
Well, it can't be
a negligee.
118
00:07:28,201 --> 00:07:30,181
Loud jewelry?
119
00:07:30,236 --> 00:07:33,410
Well, whatever it is,
I know I'm gonna love it...
120
00:07:33,473 --> 00:07:36,249
and it's gonna be nice
because you gave it to me.
121
00:07:43,850 --> 00:07:45,887
A blender?
122
00:07:45,952 --> 00:07:49,126
A Blenderizer. You- You've been hinting
about you wanted one.
123
00:07:49,189 --> 00:07:50,793
A Blenderizer?
124
00:07:50,857 --> 00:07:55,966
Well, it- it- it's not just a Blenderizer.
It's a 32-speed Blenderizer.
125
00:07:56,029 --> 00:07:58,168
I mean,
it's the best they make,.
126
00:07:58,231 --> 00:08:03,180
lt- It not only purees, it chops, it mixes,
it liquefies, it pulverizes.
127
00:08:04,671 --> 00:08:07,015
And you're not crazy
about it, are you?
128
00:08:07,073 --> 00:08:11,715
Well, it- it's not that, Bob.
it's just that I didn't expect a blender.
129
00:08:11,778 --> 00:08:14,657
I mean, I-l kind of
pictured something, uh...
130
00:08:14,714 --> 00:08:16,716
a little more personal.
131
00:08:16,783 --> 00:08:19,957
- [ Doorbell Buzzes ]
- Hmm. Glad I didn't get the trash masher.
132
00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,967
- Hi, Bob.
- Hi, Howard.
133
00:08:24,023 --> 00:08:27,129
L, uh, brought you some champagne.
Hi, Emily.
134
00:08:27,193 --> 00:08:29,298
- Happy anniversary.
- Oh. Thank you, Howard.
135
00:08:29,362 --> 00:08:31,308
It's very thoughtful.
136
00:08:31,364 --> 00:08:35,176
Well, I thought champagne would be
the appropriate gift to buy for an occasion like this.
137
00:08:35,235 --> 00:08:38,375
- Oh.
- Well, let me, uh- Let me read the card.
138
00:08:38,438 --> 00:08:40,440
There's a card?
139
00:08:41,708 --> 00:08:44,211
“Good luck in flight school.
140
00:08:49,215 --> 00:08:51,217
Love, Mom and Dad.“
141
00:08:53,686 --> 00:08:57,896
Oh, look at these.
Wow. Are they pretty silk pajamas. Wow.
142
00:08:57,957 --> 00:09:00,096
What did you get, Bob?
143
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,574
Silk pajamas, Howard.
144
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,907
Oh, they're yours.
Oh. What'd you get Emily?
145
00:09:06,966 --> 00:09:09,503
A blender.
146
00:09:09,569 --> 00:09:11,606
Izer.
147
00:09:11,671 --> 00:09:15,244
Yeah. I gave my mother one like this
for her 60th birthday.
148
00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:19,090
You know, Bob,
you're a lucky guy.
149
00:09:19,145 --> 00:09:22,058
If I ever gave Lois anything that practical,
she would have hated it.
150
00:09:22,115 --> 00:09:25,562
I mean, she liked frilly
and lacy things, you know?
151
00:09:25,618 --> 00:09:28,326
Just because she was
so dainty and so feminine.
152
00:09:29,355 --> 00:09:31,767
Emily is so sturdy.
153
00:09:34,994 --> 00:09:37,201
H-Howard, why don't you
open the champagne...
154
00:09:37,263 --> 00:09:39,937
- and we'll drink to our anniversary
and flight school. - Yeah.
155
00:09:39,999 --> 00:09:43,640
Oh, I love champagne.
French champagne. From France.
156
00:09:43,703 --> 00:09:45,842
You know, Emily...
157
00:09:45,905 --> 00:09:49,148
champagne is-
is like a woman.
158
00:09:49,208 --> 00:09:51,745
The older it gets,
the better it gets.
159
00:09:51,811 --> 00:09:53,813
Here we go.
160
00:10:01,854 --> 00:10:03,424
Door Closes 1
161
00:10:03,489 --> 00:10:05,992
What's wrong?
162
00:10:06,059 --> 00:10:10,064
- I better go see, Howard.
- [ Door Closes]
163
00:10:10,129 --> 00:10:14,236
That means she's in the bathroom.
She wants to be alone. I'll just wait.
164
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,246
Yeah, I understand.
165
00:10:16,302 --> 00:10:18,282
Lois used to go into the garage.
166
00:10:19,906 --> 00:10:22,910
When she slammed the door,
the whole neighborhood knew it.
167
00:10:27,413 --> 00:10:31,088
The only thing I know for sure is
I'm definitely going to a ski resort this weekend.
168
00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:34,757
But I don't know where I'm gonna go
or who I'm gonna take. Pass the hot sauce.
169
00:10:34,821 --> 00:10:37,165
I guess I could take Linda
to Surgarbush.
170
00:10:37,223 --> 00:10:40,636
She's lousy on the slopes,
but fantastic in the- Mustard?
171
00:10:40,693 --> 00:10:44,766
I don't know. Maybel should
forget about Linda and Surgarbush...
172
00:10:44,831 --> 00:10:46,811
and take Sally
to Sun Valley.
173
00:10:46,866 --> 00:10:48,868
She's a great skier,
but she does have this-
174
00:10:48,935 --> 00:10:51,575
- {Intercom Buzzing]
- Rwy, excuse me.
175
00:10:52,972 --> 00:10:55,350
- Yeah, Carol?
- Emily's still not home, Bob.
176
00:10:55,408 --> 00:10:57,786
- Try the beauty shop.
- I did, Bob.
177
00:10:57,844 --> 00:11:01,223
And the dry cleaners, the school,
her favorite dress shop.
178
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,988
Bob, no luck.
Trust me.
179
00:11:04,050 --> 00:11:06,496
...this whiny,
high-pitched voice.
180
00:11:06,552 --> 00:11:09,499
But, you know, I could take Angela skiing
and solve both problems.
181
00:11:09,555 --> 00:11:12,058
What?
182
00:11:12,125 --> 00:11:16,164
Bob, you're not listening. I'm sitting here
with a problem, and you keep interrupting me.
183
00:11:16,229 --> 00:11:19,904
I'm sorry,jer. I guess I'm preoccupied.
I got kind of a problem of my own.
184
00:11:19,966 --> 00:11:21,912
Well, why didn't you
tell me, Bob?
185
00:11:21,968 --> 00:11:25,711
I mean, whenever you've got a problem,
you know I give you my undivided attention.
186
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:28,582
- I'm not sure it's so much-
- You gonna finish your potato salad?
187
00:11:28,641 --> 00:11:30,587
- No.
- Okay.
188
00:11:31,611 --> 00:11:33,557
Well, go on. Go on.
189
00:11:33,613 --> 00:11:38,687
Well, um, last night Emily and I,
we celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary.
190
00:11:38,751 --> 00:11:43,063
It wasn't so much a celebration.
It was more like a- a fight.
191
00:11:43,122 --> 00:11:45,534
What'd you, uh, fight about?
192
00:11:45,591 --> 00:11:48,834
I don't know.
She- She wouldn't tell me.
193
00:11:48,895 --> 00:11:53,571
Do you know how frustrating it is
to talk to a bathroom door all night?
194
00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:56,671
Then when I got up this morning,
there was no sign of henjust a note.
195
00:11:56,736 --> 00:11:59,910
- What'd it say?
- It said “The breakfast is in your Blenderizer.“
196
00:12:02,575 --> 00:12:04,816
Jerry, I- I'm afraid
she's gonna do something drastic.
197
00:12:04,877 --> 00:12:07,448
The last time she was
in a mood like this, she was-
198
00:12:07,513 --> 00:12:10,824
she was out all day, and she came back,
and she was a blonde.
199
00:12:10,883 --> 00:12:14,387
Then the time before that,
she had her ears pierced.
200
00:12:14,454 --> 00:12:17,526
- I'm afraid to go home. I don't
know what to expect. - [Knocks]
201
00:12:17,590 --> 00:12:20,469
Here she is, Bob.
202
00:12:20,526 --> 00:12:22,528
Emily?
203
00:12:23,896 --> 00:12:25,967
- Is that you, Emily?
Jerry, this is a patient of mine.
204
00:12:26,032 --> 00:12:28,273
- Nancy Dansk, unjerry Robinson.
- Oh.
205
00:12:28,334 --> 00:12:32,976
It's, uh, doctor, Bob.
Dnjerry Robinson.
206
00:12:33,039 --> 00:12:35,747
You, uh, look like a skier.
I bet you ski, don't you?
207
00:12:35,808 --> 00:12:37,651
I've never been on skis.
208
00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:40,452
Oh, well. Doesn't matter.
209
00:12:40,513 --> 00:12:44,154
Excuse- Excuse me for saying this,
but as long as I'm here...
210
00:12:44,217 --> 00:12:46,322
you're a very pretty girl.
211
00:12:46,385 --> 00:12:49,059
- You're downright dazzling.
- Thank you.
212
00:12:49,121 --> 00:12:51,260
Uh, you've got some bologna
in your teeth.
213
00:12:59,899 --> 00:13:03,437
- Emily?
- In the bedroom, Bob.
214
00:13:03,503 --> 00:13:06,143
Don't come in.
215
00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:08,276
Are you, uh-
Are you all right?
216
00:13:08,341 --> 00:13:11,379
- Ifee/ terrific.
- Good.
217
00:13:11,444 --> 00:13:13,583
I have a surprise for you.
218
00:13:18,384 --> 00:13:21,024
- You aren't blonde, are you?
- of course not.
219
00:13:21,087 --> 00:13:25,035
- You haven't had anything pierced?
- No, no.
220
00:13:25,091 --> 00:13:27,093
Good.
221
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,937
Well, what do you think, Bob?
222
00:13:43,009 --> 00:13:46,889
Uh- Uh, groovy.
223
00:13:46,946 --> 00:13:49,358
Bob, I really want to know
what you think.
224
00:13:49,415 --> 00:13:52,157
I, uh- I-l like it.
225
00:13:52,218 --> 00:13:54,630
Yeah?I mean,
I want your honest opinion.
226
00:13:54,687 --> 00:13:59,193
-I like it.
- Bob, I mean, I really want to know what you think.
227
00:14:00,893 --> 00:14:03,840
Emily, I think that's
the stupidest-looking outfit...
228
00:14:05,565 --> 00:14:07,636
I have ever seen
in my entire life.
229
00:14:16,776 --> 00:14:18,778
Door Closes 1
230
00:14:19,812 --> 00:14:21,814
Door Closes 1
231
00:14:23,583 --> 00:14:25,585
Three doors?
232
00:14:30,556 --> 00:14:32,593
She- She's determined
to change her image.
233
00:14:32,658 --> 00:14:34,501
- How does she look?
- Ridiculous.
234
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,336
Oh, come on, Bob.
Emily could never look ridiculous.
235
00:14:37,396 --> 00:14:39,603
Jerry, you can't say that.
You haven't seen her.
236
00:14:39,665 --> 00:14:44,011
I thinkyou're overreacting. Today people dress
however they want, and they look fine.
237
00:14:44,070 --> 00:14:47,142
Look at me. I'm over 30.
I'm still a fashion pacesetter.
238
00:14:51,811 --> 00:14:56,055
- Somehow you can pull it offijerry.
- Well, so can Emily.
239
00:14:56,115 --> 00:14:59,221
She's every bit as attractive
as I am, Bob.
240
00:14:59,285 --> 00:15:02,129
Maybe it's you. Maybe you have to
bend a little bit, Bob.
241
00:15:02,188 --> 00:15:05,931
Stuffyourselfinto a body shirt
every once in a while. Wear some flares.
242
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:09,269
Jerry, in order for me to dress right
to look right with Emily...
243
00:15:09,328 --> 00:15:13,470
- I'd have to dress like Donny Osmond.
- [Knocks]
244
00:15:13,532 --> 00:15:16,342
Ah, Bob.
HLJer.
245
00:15:16,402 --> 00:15:20,509
Listen, Emily called and wants you to pick up
the mixers for the anniversary party tonight...
246
00:15:20,573 --> 00:15:22,951
because, uh,
she doesn't have time.
247
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:26,115
Oh, that's right.
She's got her tap dancing class this afternoon.
248
00:15:26,178 --> 00:15:28,124
- Tap dancing?
- See,jerry?
249
00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:30,956
I'll see what you mean tonight.
I'm coming to your party after all.
250
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,963
- What happened to your ski weekend?
- Oh, well...
251
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,158
if it's a choice between
having a fantastic weekend...
252
00:15:35,221 --> 00:15:37,326
at a wonderful snow lodge
with a gorgeous snow bunny...
253
00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:39,370
or coming to my friends'
anniversary party...
254
00:15:39,425 --> 00:15:41,427
I'm gonna choose my friends'
anniversary party every time.
255
00:15:41,494 --> 00:15:43,565
Couldn't get a date,
could you,jer?
256
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:47,470
Nota nibble.
257
00:15:47,533 --> 00:15:49,535
Doorbell Buzzes 1
258
00:15:54,774 --> 00:15:56,720
Hi, anniversary boy.
259
00:15:56,776 --> 00:15:59,017
- Hi, Howard. Come on in.
- Hi.
260
00:15:59,078 --> 00:16:01,183
- Hi.
- You must be Bob of Bob and Emily.
261
00:16:01,247 --> 00:16:03,193
I'm Rosalie Shaeffer.
262
00:16:03,249 --> 00:16:06,253
- Oh, I'm sorry. This is Bob Hartley. Rosalie Shaeffer.
- Hi.
263
00:16:06,318 --> 00:16:08,264
- Nice meeting you again.
- Yeah.
264
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,322
Oh, have you two met before?
265
00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:15,537
- Wejust met up there, Howard.
- Oh, yeah.
266
00:16:15,594 --> 00:16:18,939
Uh, I got a gag gift. Funny, funny, funny.
[Laughs]
267
00:16:18,998 --> 00:16:21,000
Well.
268
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,069
Hi, everybody.
269
00:16:27,106 --> 00:16:29,712
Hi, Emily.
That's, uh...
270
00:16:29,775 --> 00:16:32,483
really shiny.
271
00:16:32,545 --> 00:16:35,151
- And faded.
- Oh, well, Howard, it's supposed to be.
272
00:16:35,214 --> 00:16:38,923
It's the newest style. Everything's recycled.
I mean, the more faded the better.
273
00:16:38,984 --> 00:16:41,624
Ah, well, then it's the best.
274
00:16:41,687 --> 00:16:43,860
I think it's kind of funky,
don't you?
275
00:16:43,923 --> 00:16:46,062
That's, uh, the funkiest
she's ever looked.
276
00:16:47,526 --> 00:16:50,507
Oh, Emily, this is Rosalie Shaeffer,
and this is your gift.
277
00:16:50,563 --> 00:16:53,737
- Oh, hello. Thank you. Come on in, Rosalie.
- Thank you.
278
00:16:53,799 --> 00:16:56,143
- Howard's told me so much about you.
- Oh?
279
00:16:56,202 --> 00:16:59,149
- But you're not at all what I imagined.
- Yeah. Me neither.
280
00:16:59,205 --> 00:17:01,412
Oh? Well, uh.
what did you expect?
281
00:17:01,474 --> 00:17:04,045
Well, I don't know.
You're- You'rejust so much younger.
282
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,056
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
283
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,319
Oh, I like her, Howard.
284
00:17:08,380 --> 00:17:12,692
- Well, I'll fix some drinks. - Um, uh,just
some white wine for me, if you've got it.
285
00:17:12,752 --> 00:17:15,323
- L- I've got it.
- I'll have a bourbon on the rocks.
286
00:17:15,387 --> 00:17:18,800
- Uh, Emily?
- Oh, I'll have a scotch and soda.
287
00:17:18,858 --> 00:17:21,099
Don't worry.
I have my I.D. card.
288
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,164
I'H help you
with the drinks.
289
00:17:25,197 --> 00:17:27,575
So, Rosalie, what do you do?
290
00:17:27,633 --> 00:17:30,239
- I'm an elementary school teacher.
- Really?
291
00:17:30,302 --> 00:17:33,078
- Well, so am I. Where do you teach?
- Commodore Sloat.
292
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:36,677
That's close to my school. You should come over
sometime at lunch, and we can talk.
293
00:17:36,742 --> 00:17:39,723
- We have so much in common.
- Oh, I'd love to.
294
00:17:39,779 --> 00:17:42,350
Then maybe you and Bob
could come on over to my place.
295
00:17:42,414 --> 00:17:44,894
Or we could go out.
Do you like Chicken on a Stick?
296
00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:48,227
I don't know. I never had it.
I mean, I like it in the basket.
297
00:17:49,855 --> 00:17:52,597
No. Chicken on a Stick
plays rock music.
298
00:17:52,658 --> 00:17:55,036
- Oh, that Chicken on a Stick.
- Yeah.
299
00:17:55,094 --> 00:17:57,131
Yeah, well, I-
I just love them.
300
00:17:57,196 --> 00:17:59,767
- Him.
- Him.
301
00:18:01,066 --> 00:18:03,068
L-I really do love
your place, Emily.
302
00:18:03,135 --> 00:18:05,479
- Oh, do you? Would you like a tour?
- Oh, sure.
303
00:18:05,538 --> 00:18:07,950
- Well, uh, that's the terrace.
- Oh, it's nice.
304
00:18:08,007 --> 00:18:10,419
- Yeah. And, uh, right here's the den.
- Okay.
305
00:18:10,476 --> 00:18:13,480
- Let me show you.just go right through here.
- Thank you.
306
00:18:13,546 --> 00:18:16,254
Well, uh, what do you
think of her, Bob?
307
00:18:16,315 --> 00:18:18,591
That's the youngest girl
I ever went outwith.
308
00:18:18,651 --> 00:18:21,427
Welcome to the club, Howard.
309
00:18:21,487 --> 00:18:23,797
- [ Doorbell Buzzes ]
- That must be Carol andjerry.
310
00:18:26,358 --> 00:18:28,269
- Ah!
- Emily, is that you?
311
00:18:32,231 --> 00:18:35,769
- Come on in.
- Here, anniversary party boy.
312
00:18:35,835 --> 00:18:39,078
And here we are back again.
313
00:18:39,138 --> 00:18:42,176
- Here's the kitchen, and there's Howard.
- Thank you.
314
00:18:42,241 --> 00:18:44,312
Oh. Hi, Carol.
HLJer.
315
00:18:44,376 --> 00:18:47,289
Jerry, you remember Emily,
the leader of the pack.
316
00:18:49,481 --> 00:18:53,258
WelLJerry, it's a new look.
You gotta get used to it, you know.
317
00:18:53,319 --> 00:18:55,856
- I'm used to it already, and I love it.
- Doya?
318
00:18:55,921 --> 00:18:58,299
Carol, what do you think?
319
00:18:58,357 --> 00:19:00,303
Carol?
320
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,169
Oh, what do-
Oh, I-What do I think?
321
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,937
Oh. Well, you know,
I was thinking about it...
322
00:19:05,998 --> 00:19:08,000
and I wasn't sure
what I thought.
323
00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:10,138
- But now I am.
- Yeah. So?
324
00:19:10,202 --> 00:19:14,014
- I'm not so sure.
- That's how Bob felt.
325
00:19:14,073 --> 00:19:16,280
Jerry, this is Rosalie,
and you know Howard.
326
00:19:16,342 --> 00:19:18,447
- Hi, Howard. Hi, Rosalie. How are you?
- Hi.
327
00:19:18,510 --> 00:19:20,717
- Howard.
- Well, why don't we open up the gag gifts?
328
00:19:20,779 --> 00:19:22,383
- Right.
- Oh, yeah.
329
00:19:22,448 --> 00:19:24,587
Okay. Open up mine first.
330
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:26,687
Oh. You're gonna
laugh your head off.
331
00:19:26,752 --> 00:19:28,698
- This is yours, huh?
- Yeah.
332
00:19:28,754 --> 00:19:31,234
- Gonna laugh my head off with-
- Yeah.
333
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:33,668
- A tin can?
- Yeah.
334
00:19:33,726 --> 00:19:36,229
Uh, tin for your
10th anniversary.
335
00:19:36,295 --> 00:19:38,297
This is our-
our fifth anniversary.
336
00:19:38,364 --> 00:19:41,345
That- That's the joke.
337
00:19:43,235 --> 00:19:46,182
[Howard Laughing]
338
00:19:49,575 --> 00:19:52,317
Uh, and a darn good one,
Howard.
339
00:19:52,378 --> 00:19:54,722
Here, you two.
Happy anniversary to the both of you.
340
00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:56,726
- Thank you.
- Right.
341
00:19:58,751 --> 00:20:00,753
[Laughs]
342
00:20:06,258 --> 00:20:08,932
- [lacking teeth?
- Right, right. And you don't have to brush 'em.
343
00:20:08,994 --> 00:20:11,497
Just wind them up
after every meal.
344
00:20:13,799 --> 00:20:17,542
Oh, Emily, Emily. Before you open that up,
I wouldjust like to say one thing.
345
00:20:17,603 --> 00:20:21,016
Now, that is no longer
a gag gift.
346
00:20:21,073 --> 00:20:23,451
What, you afraid
yourjoke's gonna bomb, Carol?
347
00:20:23,509 --> 00:20:28,754
No. lt'sjust that I feel that anniversaries
are solemn occasions...
348
00:20:28,814 --> 00:20:34,025
and every once in a while you need a serious gift
that's in impeccable taste.
349
00:20:34,086 --> 00:20:36,464
Okay. Well, let's see.
350
00:20:36,522 --> 00:20:39,230
“To Emily,
who has perfect taste...
351
00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:42,238
a gift that has none,
from the house of tacky.“
352
00:20:42,294 --> 00:20:46,743
Carol, that does not
sound too serious to me.
353
00:20:46,799 --> 00:20:48,801
Let's see.
354
00:20:57,776 --> 00:21:00,985
- Uh, why don't we take another look
at the apartment, okay? - Yeah.
355
00:21:01,046 --> 00:21:03,458
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
356
00:21:03,515 --> 00:21:05,461
Come on, j er.
357
00:21:07,686 --> 00:21:10,724
Well, it, uh,
could be worse, Emily. It...
358
00:21:10,789 --> 00:21:12,791
could be the whole outfit.
359
00:21:16,562 --> 00:21:18,508
Bob.
360
00:21:18,564 --> 00:21:20,840
I'm never gonna be able to
face our friends again.
361
00:21:20,899 --> 00:21:24,745
I mean, I really
made a fool of myself tonight.
362
00:21:24,803 --> 00:21:28,615
I just looked stupid
and dumb and silly.
363
00:21:28,674 --> 00:21:30,676
Admit it.
364
00:21:30,743 --> 00:21:33,519
I'll admit it if you promise
not to run out of the room.
365
00:21:33,579 --> 00:21:36,185
-I promise.
- I admit it.
366
00:21:36,248 --> 00:21:40,025
- Oh, Bob, why didn't you tell me that earlier?
- I did tell you.
367
00:21:40,085 --> 00:21:42,588
Well, why didn't you keep telling me
until I believed you?
368
00:21:42,654 --> 00:21:44,497
Emily, why did you do it?
369
00:21:44,556 --> 00:21:46,502
I don't know.
I just-
370
00:21:46,558 --> 00:21:52,065
I felt undesirable as a woman
and housewifey and old.
371
00:21:52,131 --> 00:21:54,941
I mean, Bob, if you give me a blender
for our fifth anniversary...
372
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,537
it's not a bigjump
to support hose.
373
00:21:59,905 --> 00:22:04,149
Well, I- I guess there are some things
you've- you gotta find out for yourself.
374
00:22:04,209 --> 00:22:06,951
I mean, I remember when
I was back in high school.
375
00:22:07,012 --> 00:22:10,482
- Shouldn't I sit down for this?
- Oh, yeah, right. Sit down, Emily.
376
00:22:13,385 --> 00:22:15,956
Emily, when I was in, uh-
in high school...
377
00:22:16,021 --> 00:22:19,025
during the summers I used to
go up to the Wisconsin Dells...
378
00:22:19,091 --> 00:22:21,162
'cause that's where
all the great-lookin' girls were.
379
00:22:21,226 --> 00:22:24,366
And I could never get to
first base with any of them...
380
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:26,376
'cause there were
seven million lifeguards...
381
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:29,038
and they were all
big and blond.
382
00:22:29,101 --> 00:22:32,639
Everybody up there
was big and blond.
383
00:22:32,704 --> 00:22:36,584
So, one day, I clipped an ad
out of the back of a magazine-
384
00:22:36,642 --> 00:22:38,747
a Charles Atlas ad.
385
00:22:38,811 --> 00:22:41,917
And every day I'd practice
his method of dynamic tension.
386
00:22:43,415 --> 00:22:45,861
You- You know what
dynamic tension is?
387
00:22:45,918 --> 00:22:48,489
Not another one of those
rock groups, is it?
388
00:22:49,655 --> 00:22:51,601
[Clears Throat]
No, it's...
389
00:22:51,657 --> 00:22:55,127
pitting one muscle
against the other muscle.
390
00:22:55,194 --> 00:22:57,674
So, I finally got
all my muscles pitted, and...
391
00:22:57,729 --> 00:22:59,709
it- it still
wasn't enough.
392
00:22:59,765 --> 00:23:03,144
I wanted to be blond.
So I-l put lemon in my hair...
393
00:23:03,202 --> 00:23:05,148
and I sat in the sun
for hours.
394
00:23:05,204 --> 00:23:07,206
Then I felt I was-
I was finally ready.
395
00:23:07,272 --> 00:23:09,309
I went up to the lake
and went up to...
396
00:23:09,374 --> 00:23:11,411
the greatest-lookin'
blonde girl there, and I-
397
00:23:11,477 --> 00:23:15,391
You know, I kind of flexed my muscles
in front of her, and- and I introduced myself.
398
00:23:15,447 --> 00:23:17,393
You- You know what happened?
399
00:23:17,449 --> 00:23:19,929
She kicked sand in your face?
400
00:23:19,985 --> 00:23:23,091
No. She- She went with me
the whole summer.
401
00:23:23,155 --> 00:23:27,103
Bob, I don't think
I understand the point of this story.
402
00:23:27,159 --> 00:23:29,537
Well, Emily, the point
of the whole story is...
403
00:23:29,595 --> 00:23:32,542
she was only interested in-
in my looks.
404
00:23:32,598 --> 00:23:35,101
I mean, once the summer was over,
my- my hair faded...
405
00:23:35,167 --> 00:23:39,274
and my- my subscription to
the Charles Atlas course expired.
406
00:23:40,439 --> 00:23:42,441
And that's the point
of the story?
407
00:23:42,508 --> 00:23:45,751
Emily, the- the point
of the story is...
408
00:23:45,811 --> 00:23:48,018
you gotta be what you are.
409
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,425
I mean, I- I want you to know
that whoever you are...
410
00:23:51,483 --> 00:23:54,259
I love you.
411
00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:02,768
I love you too.
412
00:24:02,828 --> 00:24:05,536
- You know what, honey?
- What?
413
00:24:05,597 --> 00:24:07,543
I've got a good idea.
414
00:24:07,599 --> 00:24:10,910
Why don't you put
those silk pajamas on, and I'll-
415
00:24:10,969 --> 00:24:12,971
I'll slip into
a negligee and-
416
00:24:13,038 --> 00:24:16,713
- Yeah? - We can go out in the kitchen
and cut up some vegetables...
417
00:24:16,775 --> 00:24:19,915
and throw 'em
in the Blenderizer and...
418
00:24:19,978 --> 00:24:22,185
let them just whip themselves
into a frenzy.
419
00:24:24,516 --> 00:24:28,157
- You're never gonna let me forget that, are you?
- No.
420
00:25:09,294 --> 00:25:10,773
[ Mews]
34329
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