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1
00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:04,872
HEY, MOM, WHY WAS DAD
OUT FRONT WASHING MY CAR?
2
00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,540
OH, SOME KIDS DROVE
THROUGH THE NEIGHBORHOOD
3
00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:08,142
EGGING CARS LAST NIGHT.
4
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:10,078
ONLY IN COLORADO.
30 DAYS YOU GOTTA WAIT
5
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:13,214
FOR A GUN PERMIT,
BUT ANYBODY CAN BUY EGGS!
6
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,384
ADMIT IT.
YOU JUST WASHED MY CAR
7
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,686
SO YOU COULD SCRAPE OFF
MY OBAMA STICKER.
8
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,889
I THINK YOUR OBAMA STICKER'S
THE REASON YOU GOT EGGED.
9
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:25,059
HOW MANY CARS GOT HIT?
10
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,994
ON THIS BLOCK, JUST US
AND THE NEW GUYS UP THE BLOCK.
11
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,029
THE NEW FAMILY? THE BLA...
12
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,665
AFRICAN-AMERICAN FAMILY?
13
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,868
THE BLAFRICAN-AMERICANS,
YES.
14
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:38,172
SO NOW THEIR CAR IS THE ONLY ONE
ON THE BLOCK WITH EGG ON IT?
15
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,574
OH, NO.
"OH, NO," WHAT?
16
00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,009
(sighs) WELL,
THEY COULD THINK
17
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,112
SOMEONE EGGED THEIR CAR
OUT OF RACISM.
18
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,980
I DON'T THINK THE KLAN
DOES A LOT OF WORK WITH EGGS.
19
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:51,585
COME ON, THEY JUST MOVED INTO
A VERY WHITE NEIGHBORHOOD.
20
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:54,054
MAYBE WE SHOULD LET THEM KNOW
THAT THEY WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES.
21
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:55,856
I DON'T WANT TO TALK
TO MY NEIGHBORS.
YEAH, I KNOW.
22
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,526
IF IT'LL HELP,
YOU WANT ME TO RE-EGG HER CAR?
23
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,194
THEY MIGHT FEEL SINGLED OUT.
24
00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:03,531
OH, "SINGLED OUT." VANDALISM
HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY, GUYS.
25
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,199
WHY IS IT IF YOU'RE BLACK
OR YOU'RE GAY
26
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,135
OR YOU'RE A MIDGET,
YOU THINK STUFF HAPPENS TO YOU
27
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:10,638
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BLACK OR
YOU'RE GAY OR YOU'RE A MIDGET?
28
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:11,972
MAYBE THEY'RE JUST JERKS.
29
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,774
I DATED THIS BLACK GAY MIDGET
IN COLLEGE...
30
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,943
(mouths words)
31
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:18,379
(chuckling) DAD, STOP,
OKAY?
32
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,947
I'M GLAD THE VIEW IS SO CLEAR
33
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,283
ON TOP OF RICH WHITE GUY
MOUNTAIN.
34
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:25,319
BEAUTIFUL VIEW UP HERE.
THEY PUT A LITTLE FOOD COURT.
35
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,555
LOVE YOU, GUYS.
36
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,257
(door closes)
YOU KNOW, HONEY,
KRISTIN'S RIGHT.
37
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:32,126
THE LARABEES SHOULD KNOW
THAT THEY WEREN'T SINGLED OUT.
38
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,927
WHO ARE THE LARABEES?
39
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,963
THE PEOPLE THAT WE HAVE
JUST BEEN TALKING ABOUT.
40
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:38,132
OH, YEAH. THE GUY
IN THE SILVER TAHOE.
41
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,567
OH, SURE. YOU KNOW
WHAT KIND OF CAR HE DRIVES,
42
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,169
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HIS NAME?
43
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,970
I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE THAT MUCH,
BUT I LOVE CARS.
44
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:46,607
THEY MOVED IN THE HOUSE
WHERE THE PONTIACS USED TO LIVE.
45
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,142
YOU TALK TO THE NEIGHBORS,
46
00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:50,077
THEY'RE GONNA THINK
YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS.
47
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,312
AND?
48
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:54,081
I DON'T WANT TO BE
FRIENDS WITH THEM.
49
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,683
AND NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE BLACK,
BECAUSE THEY'RE--
50
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,118
BECAUSE THEY'RE NEIGHBORS?
(groans)
RIGHT.
51
00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,687
YOU MAKE FRIENDS
WITH NEIGHBORS,
52
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,955
AND IT OPENS UP ALL SORTS
OF OBLIGATIONS.
53
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,691
YOU KNOW, LISTEN,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO,
54
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:07,094
YOU KNOW, REMEMBER THEIR NAMES,
WAVE AT 'EM AND SAY "HELLO."
55
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,364
YOU KNOW, "HEY, MIKE,
HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?"
56
00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:13,033
WHO'S GOT AN ANSWER
FOR THAT?
57
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,637
EVERYONE IN THE WORLD
NAMED MIKE EXCEPT FOR YOU.
58
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:21,242
-- Captions by VITA --
59
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,980
(both laughing)
60
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:29,016
HEY. THE BRONCOS ARE ALMOST ON.
WHERE WERE YOU?
61
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,351
THE MALL.
62
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,320
TWO QUESTIONS--WHAT WERE YOU
DOING AT THE MALL,
63
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:35,389
AND DID YOU BRING ME
A BIG PRETZEL?
64
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,990
DAD, CHECK IT OUT.
65
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:39,026
SHE'S LIKE THE PLAIN GIRL
IN THE MOVIE
66
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,728
WHO DISCOVERS THAT
SHE CAN BE PRETTY...
67
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:44,798
(singsongy) WITH THE HELP
OF HER SUPER HOT SISTER!
68
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:47,801
(normal voice) WHAT?! I SAID
YOU WERE EVENTUALLY PRETTY.
69
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,037
EVE, COME ON.
LET'S NOT MISS KICKOFF.
70
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,206
BUT, DAD, I WANTED TO TRY ON
THIS NEW DRESS WITH THE SHOES
71
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,308
MANDY IS LOANING ME FOR
TAYLOR'S PARTY FRIDAY NIGHT.
72
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:55,843
YOU'VE GOT PRACTICE
FRIDAY NIGHT.
73
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,144
YOU GOT A SOCCER GAME
SATURDAY, BABE.
74
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,979
DAD, EVE IS
IN HIGH SCHOOL NOW.
75
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,216
AND EVEN IF SHE DIDN'T
HAVE TO LIVE UP TO THIS...
76
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,919
(exhales)
77
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,888
WHERE WAS I GOING
WITH THAT?
78
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,759
(whispers) JUST GO.
79
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,562
DAD, I WAS, UH,
I WAS KINDA HOPING
80
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,230
I COULD, UM, BLOW OFF
PRACTICE FRIDAY NIGHT.
81
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,031
NO, YOU CAN'T BLOW OFF
PRACTICE.
82
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:19,333
WHY? EVE SCORES
ALL THE GOALS ANYWAY.
83
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,934
IF SHE'S NOT THERE,
ONE OF THOSE OTHER
84
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,637
FUTURE GYM TEACHERS
CAN KICK A FEW.
85
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,674
PLEASE, DAD.
I'M SO BURNED OUT ON SOCCER.
86
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,175
I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR ANYTHING FUN,
87
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,278
BECAUSE ALL I DO IS
PRACTICE SPORTS AND PLAY SPORTS.
88
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:33,013
AND AS A REWARD, YOU GET
TO WATCH SPORTS WITH DAD.
89
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,582
(scoffs) SO YOU'RE NOT EVEN
GONNA LET ME MISS
90
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,049
ONE STUPID PRACTICE?
91
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,919
YOU CAN MISS STUPID PRACTICE.
YOU CAN'T MISS SOCCER PRACTICE.
92
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,188
YOU START FLAKING OUT
ON STUFF LIKE THIS,
93
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,923
YOU MIGHT AS WELL
JUST QUIT THE TEAM.
94
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,125
FINE. THEN I QUIT.
YOU'RE NOT QUITTING.
95
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,960
THAT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
YOU DO THAT, YOU END UP
96
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:48,896
DRIVING AROUND WITH THESE
JERKS EGGING CARS.
97
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,599
YEAH. LIKE RANDY AND MAX
WOULD HANG OUT WITH EVE, DAD.
98
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,634
THEY'RE SENIORS. (laughs)
99
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,978
(rings doorbell)
100
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,984
HI. I SAW YOUR NEWSPAPER,
101
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,986
AND I THOUGHT
I'D BRING IT TO YOU.
102
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:16,790
UH, THERE'S A NEWSPAPER THIEF
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
103
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:20,661
WE DON'T GET THE NEWSPAPER.
104
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:26,400
(laughs) THEN I GUESS
I'M THE NEWSPAPER THIEF.
105
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,168
(laughs)
UH...
106
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,804
HI. I'M, UH, I'M VANESSA BAXTER
FROM DOWN THE STREET.
107
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,172
OH, YES. NICE TO MEET YOU.
108
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,107
I'M CAROL LARABEE.
HI.
109
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,909
(clears throat)
110
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,347
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? UM...
I-I ALSO WANTED TO TELL YOU
111
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,181
THAT SOMEBODY THREW
A-AN EGG AT YOUR CAR.
112
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,517
OH.
UM, BUT--BUT THEY ALSO
THREW EGGS AT OTHER CARS,
113
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:45,786
AND I DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO THINK YOU WERE SINGLED OUT
114
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,689
BECAUSE YOU'RE...
(stammers)
115
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,991
NEW.
116
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,260
THAT'S NICE OF YOU.
YEAH.
117
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,796
IS YOUR HUSBAND THE MAN
THAT DRIVES A GREEN TRUCK
118
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:59,166
WHO WALKS INSIDE REALLY FAST
WITHOUT LOOKING UP?
OH. MM.
119
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,534
YEAH, THAT'S HIM.
THAT'S HIM.
120
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:03,437
BUT--BUT HE DOES THAT WITH ALL
THE NEIGHBORS, NOT JUST THE...
121
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,805
THE NEW ONES?
YEAH.
122
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,175
CAROL, THE OVEN'S
ON FIRE.
123
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,043
UH, NO, IT'S OKAY.
(chuckles) IT'S OKAY.
124
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,446
IT'S JUST MY HUSBAND'S WAY
OF GETTING RID OF SOLICITORS.
125
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,281
HONEY, THIS IS OUR NEIGHBOR
FROM DOWN THE STREET...
OH. HI.
126
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,016
VANESSA BAXTER.
VANESSA, MY HUSBAND--CHUCK.
HI.
127
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,217
PLEASURE.
PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
HI.
128
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,053
HER HUSBAND'S THE GUY
WITH THE GREEN TRUCK.
129
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:23,957
THE ONE WITH THE "NoBAMA"
BUMPER STICKER?
130
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,693
THE GUY WHO NEVER WAVES?
131
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,795
EH, YOU KNOW, HE'S--
YOU KNOW, HE'S JUST ANTISOCIAL.
132
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:28,996
AND HE DOESN'T LIKE OBAMA.
133
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,698
I SEE.
134
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:34,201
BUT--BUT IT'S--IT'S NOT
IN THE WAY THAT YOU'RE THINKING.
135
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,205
HOW AM I THINKING?
136
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,580
(door opens)
137
00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,181
HEY.
HEY.
138
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,483
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
139
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,985
(sighs) WELL, FIRST
THE GOOD NEWS.
140
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:55,523
I STOLE TODAY'S PAPER.
141
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,190
THERE'S BAD NEWS?
142
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,726
THE LARABEES ARE COMING
OVER HERE
143
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,060
FOR DRINKS FRIDAY NIGHT.
144
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:03,163
WHO ARE THE LARABEES?
145
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,598
THE NEW NEIGHBORS.
146
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:08,068
THE--THE TAHOES WHO BOUGHT
THE PONTIACS' HOUSE.
147
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,937
WHY ARE THEY COMING
OVER HERE?
148
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,605
I DON'T KNOW, HONESTLY.
149
00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:13,373
I WENT OVER THERE
TO TALK ABOUT THE EGGING.
150
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:15,075
THINGS GOT AWKWARD.
151
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:18,879
I PANICKED, AND I RAN OUT
OF STUFF TO SAY.
152
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:22,082
SO NATURALLY YOU ASSUMED,
"MIKE'LL WANT A PIECE OF THIS.
153
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:26,386
SO LET'S DO IT AGAIN
FRIDAY NIGHT"?
154
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,188
WE GOT A BIGGER PROBLEM.
155
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,957
YOUR YOUNGEST DAUGHTER
WANTS TO QUIT SOCCER.
156
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,292
SO? WHAT DO YOU CARE?
YOU HATE SOCCER.
157
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,127
I ALSO HATE OUR NEIGHBORS.
158
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:37,130
THAT DIDN'T STOP YOU
FROM INVITING THEM OVER HERE.
159
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,132
SHE PLAYS SOCCER WELL.
IT'S A WASTE OF TALENT.
160
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,035
HEY, ARE YOU GUYS
TALKING ABOUT ME?
161
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,771
NO, WE'RE NOT.
162
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,873
OH. 'CAUSE I JUST HEARD
THE WORD "TALENT,"
163
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,207
AND I THOUGHT YOU
MUST HAVE HEARD--
164
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,477
(singsongy) I'M UP FOR A SOLO
IN SHOW CHOIR!
165
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:50,978
THAT'S GREAT.
166
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,080
I JUST DON'T WANT EVE TO THINK
SHE CAN BE A QUITTER.
167
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,548
OH, COME ON, HONEY.
SHE'S SO TALENTED,
168
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,484
SHE COULD DO ANYTHING
SHE PUTS HER MIND TO.
169
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,119
KINDA LIKE ME IN SHOW CHOIR!
170
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:02,055
THAT'S GOOD, HONEY.
YOU GO DO THAT.
RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
171
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,557
LOOK, WE'VE PUT SO MUCH
ENERGY INTO THIS.
172
00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:04,992
JUST THE DRIVING ALONE
TO AND FROM THAT PARK
173
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,494
AND ALL THE PRACTICES.
174
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,995
THINK OF ALL THE ORANGE SLICES
YOU'VE DONE.
175
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,963
SO MANY FREAKIN' ORANGES.
ORANGE SLICES. SO MUCH.
176
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,800
OH, MY GOD, CAN THEY TOSS
THE PEELS INTO THE GARBAGE CAN
177
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,301
THAT'S JUST 3 FEET AWAY?
NO.
178
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,003
NO. NO. YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE THEY'RE SOCCER PLAYERS.
179
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,971
THEY CAN'T USE THEIR HANDS.
180
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:21,174
SO... YOU CAN'T WASTE
ALL THAT EFFORT, RIGHT?
181
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,110
OH, SURE, I CAN.
YOU JUST CONVINCED ME.
182
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,979
IF I NEVER HAVE TO WASH ANOTHER
SWEATY SOCCER SOCK AGAIN...
183
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:30,350
YEAH, BUT, HONEY, WHAT IF EVE
IS DESTINED FOR THE OLYMPICS?
184
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,854
MIKE, SHE'S NOT.
185
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,489
WE BOTH WANT TO GO TO RIO--
186
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:38,959
A CITY WITH A GIANT JESUS
STARING AT 4 MILLION THONGS.
187
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,361
WHAT A CULTURE.
188
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:46,199
SO... HERE'S ANOTHER REASON
WHY I SHOULD QUIT SOCCER.
189
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,101
IF I'M NOT ALWAYS COVERED
WITH BRUISES,
190
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,971
YOU WON'T GET ALL THOSE
DIRTY LOOKS IN CHURCH.
191
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,674
NICE TRY.
192
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,843
YOUR MOM AND I DISCUSSED IT.
YOU'RE NOT QUITTING.
193
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,177
NO, WE DIDN'T DECIDE THAT.
194
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,179
I DIDN'T SAY WE AGREED.
WE DISCUSSED IT.
NO, YOU DID.
195
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,048
YOU ALWAYS JUST ASSUME
I AGREE WITH YOU.
LOOK, NO, WE HAD A DISCUSSION.
196
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,816
THE WHOLE TIME, THAT'S
WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.
NO--TALK TO HER.
197
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,985
LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.
HERE, THE POINT IS,
198
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,787
YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH
TO MAKE THIS DECISION.
199
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,355
AND APPARENTLY
NEITHER IS YOUR MOTHER.
OH...
200
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:09,823
LISTEN...
(speaks indistinctly)
201
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:12,459
YOU PLAY SOCCER.
YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT SOCCER.
202
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,394
YOU'RE NOT QUITTING SOCCER.
THAT'S THE END OF STORY.
203
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,329
THAT'S SO UNFAIR.
NOW YOU'RE PUNISHING ME
204
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:19,166
FOR BEING GOOD AT SOMETHING?
LISTEN, WHEN YOU'RE
CARRYING AN AMERICAN FLAG
205
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,568
INTO THAT OLYMPIC STADIUM
206
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,402
REPRESENTING THE U.S. OLYMPIC
SOCCER TEAM,
207
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,971
YOU'RE GONNA THANK ME
FOR THIS.
208
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,406
OR, BECAUSE MY DAD PUTS
TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME,
209
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:29,843
I'LL BE WORKING THE POLE
AT BOB'S CLASSY LADY!
210
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:40,220
LIKE THEY'D EVER HIRE A GIRL
WITH AN ATTITUDE LIKE THAT.
211
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,562
HEY, HONEY,
HELP ME OUT HERE.
212
00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,163
WHAT DOES
THE BLACK CULTURE THINK
213
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,999
OF MICHAEL JACKSON
THESE DAYS?
214
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,735
GENIUS OR NUT JOB?
215
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,503
MIKE, COME ON.
NOT, I'M NOT KIDDING.
IT MAY COME UP.
216
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,071
I DON'T WANT TO MAKE
A FOOL OF MYSELF.
KNOW WHAT?
217
00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,773
YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME
FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE
218
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:02,375
BY BEING A JACKASS,
BUT IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
219
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,111
I'M NOT CANCELING TONIGHT.
220
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,546
I DON'T WANT YOU TO CANCEL.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS PARTY.
221
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:10,584
IT'S NOT A PARTY.
IT'S JUST DRINKS. AND CHEESE.
222
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:12,552
WHICH I HOPE THIS GOES
WITH WHATEVER THEY DRINK.
223
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,588
WELL, WHAT IF THEY BRING,
UH, MALT LIQUOR
224
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:15,956
IN A BROWN PAPER BAG?
225
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,058
OH, GOOD ONE, JACKASS.
VERY GOOD.
226
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,427
YOU KNOW, GET 'EM ALL
OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM.
227
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,029
GO. JUST GET 'EM OUT.
228
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,597
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU
STILL DOING HERE?
229
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:24,598
EVE'S GONNA BE LATE
FOR SOCCER.
230
00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:25,799
CAN ONE OF YOU GUYS
PLEASE TAKE HER?
231
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:26,967
I DON'T WANNA BE LATE
FOR CHOIR
232
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,268
'CAUSE I'M AUDITIONING
FOR A SOLO.
233
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,737
EVE, GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
234
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,939
COME ON.
YEAH, I'M EXCITED
ABOUT IT, TOO.
235
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,241
MAYBE I'LL GET LUCKY
AND BLOW OUT MY KNEE
236
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,943
AND THEN BE OUT
FOR THE SEASON.
237
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,912
(doorbell rings)
WELL, THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
238
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,413
HI!
OH, HELLO. HI.
239
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,049
COME ON IN.
THIS IS MY HUSBAND MIKE.
OH.
240
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,084
I'M CAROL.
GOOD TO--GOOD TO SEE YOU.
241
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,953
YES, NICE TO MEET YOU.
MIKE BAXTER.
242
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,587
YES. OH, THIS IS FOR YOU.
243
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,389
WOW.
244
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,124
UH...
245
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:54,394
I'LL JUST--I'LL--I'LL PUT IT
IN THE REFRIGERATOR FOR YOU.
246
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,063
OH. I DON'T KNOW
WHY YOU WOULD.
247
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,231
IT'S A CANDLE.
248
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,168
(laughs) OH.
OH, YES, YES, IT I--
249
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:04,171
OH, THANK YOU, CAROL.
WOW, YEAH. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
250
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,139
THANK YOU.
(Carol) WHAT A NICE HOME.
251
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,975
IT'S BASICALLY THE SAME
LAYOUT AS OURS,
252
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,810
ONLY I THINK YOURS
IS A LITTLE BIGGER.
253
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:12,813
OH, NO, THEY'RE THE SAME.
THEY'RE--THEY'RE EQUAL.
254
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,550
EXCEPT OURS
IS CLEARLY BIGGER.
255
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,688
WELL, YOU NEED THE SPACE.
YEAH.
256
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,856
YEAH.
(laughs) WHERE ARE ALL THOSE
KIDS, ANYWAY?
257
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,925
OH...
WELL, YOU JUST MISSED
MANDY AND EVE,
258
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,961
AND, UH, KRISTIN BROUGHT
OUR GRANDSON TO RYAN'S.
259
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,730
HE'S THE BABY DADDY.
260
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:37,637
IT--IT'S, UH, A TERM
THAT WE USE
261
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:41,108
TO DESCRIBE A FATHER
WHO NEVER MARRIED THE MOTHER.
262
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,911
YES. WE'VE HEARD OF THAT.
263
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:51,952
(piano plays)
264
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:55,488
OKAY. TAKE FIVE MINUTES,
EVERYBODY.
265
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:56,990
(cell phone rings)
266
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,828
HELLO?
267
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,662
MANDY, IT'S CAMMY FROM
EVE'S SOCCER TEAM.
268
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,631
THE ONE WITH THE HAIRY LEGS?
269
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,867
NO. THAT'S JEN.
AND I KNOW.
270
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,169
SERIOUSLY,
SHE LOOKS LIKE A CENTAUR.
271
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,038
(laughs)
272
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,806
ANYWAY, WE HAVE A SITUATION.
273
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,207
OKAY. IS EVE OKAY?
274
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,076
KIND OF.
275
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,478
WE BLEW OFF PRACTICE
AND WENT TO TAYLOR'S PARTY.
276
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,882
EVE HAD THREE
TEQUILA POPPERS.
277
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,083
EVE DOESN'T DRINK.
278
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,753
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
SHE'S TERRIBLE AT IT.
279
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,656
MY PARENTS ARE GONNA BE HOME
IN AN HOUR,
280
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,058
AND SHE'S HAMMERED!
281
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,926
OKAY. THIS IS WHAT YOU DO.
GET HER ON HER FEET,
282
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,062
TAKE HER INTO THE BATHROOM.
WHY?
283
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,196
BECAUSE IN FIVE MINUTES,
284
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,865
SOMETHING IS COMING OUT
OF SOMEWHERE,
285
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,432
AND IT'S GOOD TO BE ON TILE.
286
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,674
NO, WE NEVER GET
TO THE MOVIES.
287
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,709
YEAH. HARDLY EVER.
HERE YOU GO.
288
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,078
THANK YOU.
289
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,046
LAST MOVIE SHE DRAGGED ME TO
WAS "THE HELP."
290
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,184
I WAS YELLING THAT ALL THE WAY
THROUGH THAT THEATER--
291
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,086
"HELP! HELP! HELP!"
OH, STOP.
292
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:01,088
I LOVED IT.
293
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,256
ME, TOO.
HOW THAT PRETTY WHITE GIRL
294
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:07,060
STARTS THE WHOLE
CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT...
295
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:09,930
VERY INSPIRATIONAL.
296
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,969
IT'S A SHAME, UH,
NONE OF YOUR DAUGHTERS ARE HERE.
297
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:17,570
I WANTED TO MEET THEM.
298
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:20,140
WELL, WE'RE HAVING A-A REAL
PROBLEM WITH OUR YOUNG ONE.
299
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,775
SHE'S A SOCCER PLAYER--
GOOD ONE--
300
00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,076
AND SHE WANTS
TO QUIT SOCCER.
301
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,945
OH, WE WENT THROUGH
THE SAME THING WITH OUR SON.
302
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,780
YEAH?
HE GOT BURNED OUT ON SPORTS,
303
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,281
BUT WE DECIDED
WE WEREN'T GONNA FORCE HIM.
304
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,483
OH, SEE, NOW I THINK
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING, CHUCK.
305
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,152
WRONG, WRONG, WRONG,
WRONG, WRONG.
YEAH. NO. NO WHY?
306
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,487
I-IT'S A BAD LESSON.
WHEN KIDS ARE GOOD,
307
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,957
THEN YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO STOP
DOING IT. IT MAKES THEM LAZY.
308
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,492
I'M SURE THEIR KID
ISN'T LAZY.
309
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,328
WELL, IT WORKED WITH OUR SON.
310
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,496
HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT,
WENT BACK ON HIS OWN.
311
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,665
NOW HE LEADS THE TEAM
IN SCORING.
312
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,767
WHAT'S HE DOING,
20, 25 POINTS A GAME?
313
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,270
MORE LIKE 2.
HE PLAYS WATER POLO.
314
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,108
WATER POLO?
315
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:58,545
YEP. HE CAN SWIM.
316
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:05,085
DOES THAT SURPRISE YOU?
317
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,155
UH, NO. NO.
WE'RE NOT SURPRISED.
318
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,991
MIKE, HOW--HOW COULD YOU ASSUME
THEIR KID PLAYS BASKETBALL?
319
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:14,161
WHY WOULD I ASSUME
HE PLAYS WATER POLO?
320
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,030
NO, IT'S OKAY.
IT'S OKAY.
321
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,498
CHUCK'S JUST MESSING
WITH YOU.
OH...
322
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,133
OUR SON DOES PLAY
BASKETBALL.
OH.
323
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,536
(laughs) AND HE SWIMS
LIKE A ROCK.
324
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,172
(laughs)
325
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,476
AH, I MEAN, I'M SURE
HE--HE SWIMS JUST AS WELL
326
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,979
AS ANY OTHER KIND OF KID.
YEAH.
327
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,047
HONEY, STOP IT.
WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
328
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,316
WE'RE JUST--WE'RE HAVING
A PLEASANT CONVERSATION
329
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,951
WITH OUR NEW FRIENDS
THE LARABEES.
330
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,119
HEY, CHUCK, DOES THIS
FEEL PLEASANT TO YOU?
331
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,322
I ACTUALLY FEEL
RATHER TENSE.
332
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:46,459
BECAUSE THIS IS
INSANELY AWKWARD.
333
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:49,162
OH, COME ON. C--STOP
KIDDING AROUND, YOU TWO.
334
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,131
COME ON. CAROL AND I ARE
GETTING ALONG REALLY WELL.
335
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:54,467
(laughs) I WOULDN'T SAY
REALLY WELL.
(Mike chuckles)
336
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,003
LISTEN, MY WIFE'S
A LOVELY WOMAN,
337
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,170
AND THE REASON THAT
SHE INVITED YOU HERE
338
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,671
IS 'CAUSE SHE FELT GUILTY
YOU MIGHT THINK
339
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,407
THAT THAT EGGING WAS
RACIALLY MOTIVATED.
340
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,043
I DON'T THINK THE KLAN
DOES A LOT OF WORK WITH EGGS.
341
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,644
HA! YOU KNOW, I...
342
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,847
(speaking indistinctly)
343
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,052
WE ONLY CAME BECAUSE VANESSA
KINDA PUT US ON THE SPOT.
344
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,353
YEAH, AND WE THOUGHT
IF WE SAID NO,
345
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,989
SHE MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT THAT
WAS RACIALLY MOTIVATED.
346
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:19,192
SO, W-W-W-WAIT, THIS IS GREAT.
NO ONE WANTS TO BE HERE!
347
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,063
I WANT TO BE HERE.
OH, COME ON, LET IT GO.
348
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,564
JUST BECAUSE WE LIVE
NEAR EACH OTHER
349
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,166
DOESN'T MEAN
WE GOTTA BE FRIENDS.
350
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,268
YEAH. YOU SEE, WHY DO WE HAVE
TO BE NEIGHBORLY WITH NEIGHBORS?
351
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,270
EXACTLY.
I DON'T NEED SOME CLOWN
352
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,772
BORROWING MY GARDEN HOSE
ONLY TO NEVER SEE IT AGAIN
353
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:34,874
EXCEPT WHEN HE'S WATERING
HIS LAWN WITH IT!
354
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,243
LISTEN TO THIS. LET'S SAY
YOU WANT TO COME OVER
355
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,577
AND BORROW MY LAWN MOWER.
RIGHT.
356
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,012
MAYBE I JUST DON'T WANT
TO LOAN IT TO YOU.
357
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,713
BUT YOU THINK I DON'T
LOAN IT TO YOU
358
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,182
'CAUSE YOU'RE BLACK AND I'M
AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA STEAL IT.
359
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,951
SEE--I'M NOT THAT PARANOID.
360
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,418
EXACTLY! BUT YOU SHOULD BE,
361
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:48,956
'CAUSE THAT'S PROBABLY
WHAT I'D BE THINKING!
(laughs)
362
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:51,891
WELL, I'M GLAD
THAT'S SETTLED! YEAH!
YEAH! OKAY!
363
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,527
WHOO!
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS IS ALL RIGHT.
364
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,130
I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
IF YOUR HOUSE WAS ON FIRE,
365
00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:59,132
I WOULD CALL
THE FIRE DEPARTMENT.
366
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,134
AND IF SOMEONE WAS
BREAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE,
367
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,902
I'D CALL THE POLICE.
368
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,372
EXCEPT IF IT'S A WHITE GUY.
THEN YOU GO AHEAD AND SHOOT HIM.
369
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,941
(laughs) WHAT ARE THE ODDS?
370
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,477
(laughing)
371
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,379
(mouths words)
372
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,314
(sighs)
373
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,049
ARE YOU SURE YOU GUYS
DON'T WANT TO TAKE HOME
374
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,285
SOME OF THESE APPETIZERS,
TAKE HOME THE CRACKERS?
375
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,988
NO, WE'LL JUST LEAVE
YOU FOLKS HERE.
376
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,689
(laughs)
377
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,393
COME ON,
IT'S A CRACKER JOKE.
378
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,733
(knock on door)
379
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,302
THANKS FOR COMING, MANDY.
NO TIME.
I DO THE TALKING.
380
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,304
CAN SHE WALK ON HER OWN?
I THINK SO.
381
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:38,972
WHAT'S THE E.T.A.
ON YOUR PARENTS?
382
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:41,108
15 MINUTES.
WE HAVE TO WORK FAST.
383
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:44,811
WOW!
384
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:47,114
MOUTHWASH? EYE DROPS?
TOWELETTES?
385
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,582
CLEAN URINE?
386
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,986
I'VE SEEN THINGS
YOU CAN'T UNSEE.
387
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,088
CAMMY, YOU JUST WASTED
11 SECONDS
388
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:57,090
YOU COULD'VE SPENT
MAKING EVE A CUP OF COFFEE--
389
00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:00,093
LOTS OF CREAM, LOTS OF SUGAR.
IS THIS WATER?
YES.
390
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,861
(gasps)
391
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,596
COME ON, EVE! WORK WITH ME!
(groaning)
392
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,165
WE GOTTA GET YOU BACK
INTO YOUR SOCCER UNIFORM.
393
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:08,135
UP, UP, UP! YOU DID NOT
DITCH SOCCER TONIGHT.
(continues groaning)
394
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,170
YOU WENT TO PRACTICE.
SAY IT!
395
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,005
(whining) I WENT
TO PRACTICE TONIGHT.
396
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,040
SIT DOWN.
(cries)
397
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,275
THIS IS ALL DAD'S FAULT
FOR FORCING ME
398
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,610
TO STAY ON THE SOCCER TEAM.
399
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,047
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD
IT IS TO HAVE DAD THINK
400
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,749
YOU'RE SO GREAT
AT SOMETHING.
401
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,186
YEAH, THAT MUST SUCK.
402
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,723
(gasps)
403
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:34,227
(choking and sobbing)
I'M AWAKE!
404
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,329
GOOD. NOW WE HAVE TO
MAKE IT LOOK
405
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,065
LIKE YOU'VE BEEN
PLAYING SOCCER,
406
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,999
SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO ROLL YOU
AROUND ON THE LAWN A LITTLE BIT.
407
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,505
YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY HAD
A GOOD TIME TONIGHT.
408
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:48,641
AS NEIGHBORS GO,
I'D HANG OUT WITH CHUCK.
409
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,177
BETTER THAN THAT GUY
ACROSS THE STREET FROM HIM
410
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,812
WHOSE MAILBOX LOOKS LIKE
A LITTLE VERSION OF HIS HOUSE.
411
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,981
WHAT A PUTZ!
412
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,884
WELL, MAYBE I SHOULD INVITE
THE LARABEES OVER FOR DINNER.
413
00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:59,719
WHO ARE THE LARABEES?
414
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,954
(mouths words)
415
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,694
OKAY, THEY'RE IN THE KITCHEN.
416
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,162
I'M GONNA KEEP THEM
DISTRACTED.
417
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,997
ALL YOU NEED TO DO
IS GO UPSTAIRS
418
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,165
AND GO TO BED, OKAY?
419
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,933
OKAY.
420
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,605
HI!
421
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,906
WHERE ARE YOU RUNNING OFF TO?
422
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:21,274
GUYS, I WANNA TELL YOU
ABOUT CHOIR!
423
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:23,076
GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT?
I GOT A SOLO!
424
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,344
GOOD!
OH, THAT'S GREAT, HONEY.
425
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,378
YEAH!
GOOD!
426
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,013
SO YOU WANNA LET ME
SING IT FOR YOU?
427
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,381
OH, WAIT, WE SHOULD DO IT
IN THE GARAGE.
428
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,450
IT HAS BETTER ACOUSTICS.
YEAH.
429
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:34,020
(ascending and descending) * MI,
MI, MI, MI, MI, MI, MI, MI, MI *
430
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,388
(body thuds)
* MI, MI, MI, MI, MI,
MI, MI, MI, MI *
431
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,090
WHAT WAS THAT?
432
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,726
UH, ARPEGGIOS.
I'M WARMING UP.
433
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,095
EVE?
HEY, HEY, HEY.
DID YOU FALL DOWN?
434
00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:44,931
I'M FINE, DAD.
JUST GET OUT OF MY ROOM.
435
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,899
HOW MUCH HAS SHE HAD
TO DRINK?
436
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,535
JUST A FEW TEQUILA POPPERS.
437
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,936
TEQUILA? SERIOUSLY?
438
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:52,105
YOU'RE QUITTING SOCCER,
YOU'RE DRINKING?
439
00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:53,473
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!
440
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,977
OKAY...
441
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,579
WHAT WAS THE FIRST QUESTION?
442
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:00,980
UGH.
443
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,216
YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET
ANY ANSWERS OUT OF HER TONIGHT.
444
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,784
WE'LL DEAL WITH THIS
TOMORROW MORNING.
445
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:06,153
YEAH. YOUR ROOM'S
GONNA BE SPINNING A BIT,
446
00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:07,587
BUT IT'LL SLOW DOWN
BY THE TIME
447
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:08,988
YOU GET OUT OF THERE
IN FOUR MONTHS!
448
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,090
(Vanessa) COME ON.
449
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,059
YOU TAKE YOUR SISTER OUT
AND YOU GET HER DRUNK?
450
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,093
WHAT? NO!
451
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,628
DON'T LIE TO ME.
I'M NOT LYING!
452
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:17,997
SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH, DAD.
SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE.
453
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,666
YOU DON'T NEED TO COVER
FOR YOUR SISTER.
454
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:20,967
I'M NOT.
SHE'S COVERING FOR ME.
455
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,069
IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.
BATHROOM.
456
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,337
WHAT?
457
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:27,039
BATHROOM!
BATHROOM! BATHROOM!
458
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,977
YOU SEE? ALL I DID
WAS TRY TO HELP.
459
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,779
(door closes)
SHE'S OBVIOUSLY ACTING OUT
BECAUSE YOU FORCED HER
460
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,414
TO PLAY SOCCER,
AND SHE HATES IT.
461
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,583
I'M NOT IN THE HABIT OF LETTING
MY DAUGHTERS JUST QUIT STUFF
462
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,686
BECAUSE IT GETS TOUGH.
OKAY, WELL, HOW ABOUT
WHEN YOU LET ME QUIT, UH,
463
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,921
SAXOPHONE, DANCE CLASS,
UH, TYPING,
464
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,191
THAT--THAT--THAT THING
WITH THE ICE SKATES?
465
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,594
ICE SKATING.
466
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,162
I WAS GETTING THERE!
467
00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:51,164
YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN ME
LIKE YOU BELIEVE IN EVE,
468
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,999
SO YOU LET ME QUIT STUFF
ALL THE TIME.
469
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,101
YOU COULD QUIT YELLING AT ME.
I'LL LET YOU DO THAT.
470
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,636
EVE SO MUCH AS MENTIONS
QUITTING SOCCER,
471
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,171
AND YOU ACT LIKE
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.
472
00:18:58,205 --> 00:19:00,006
BUT I HAD TO LEAVE CHOIR
EARLY TONIGHT
473
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,375
TO GO AND HELP HER,
AND I MIGHT LOSE MY SOLO!
474
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:04,744
BUT YOU--YOU COULD CARE LESS!
475
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:15,188
(sighs)
476
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,292
MORNING, HONEY.
477
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,294
(groaning)
MOMMY, I'M SO SICK.
478
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,363
MM. YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW.
479
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,765
IT'S CALLED A HANGOVER.
480
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:30,002
IT WAS SO MUCH FUNNIER
IN THAT MOVIE.
481
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,004
(sighs)
482
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:34,073
HERE. OH. LET GO.
LET GO.
(groans softly)
483
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,976
YOU KNOW WHAT, EVIE?
YOU REALLY LET ME DOWN.
484
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:40,813
AND I WAS ACTUALLY ON YOUR SIDE
WITH THIS WHOLE SOCCER THING.
485
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,815
REALLY?
486
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,050
DOES THAT MEAN I CAN QUIT?
487
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,918
(chuckles) NO WAY.
488
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:48,988
UGH!
489
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,590
THIS LITTLE STUNT CONVINCED ME
490
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,726
THAT YOU ARE NOT READY
TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF.
491
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,595
OH, GOOD, YOU'RE STILL
IN YOUR UNIFORM,
492
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,196
'CAUSE YOU GOT A GAME
IN AN HOUR.
493
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:59,699
BUT I HAVE A HANGOVER.
494
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,868
YEAH, THAT'S GONNA SUCK.
495
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:06,205
IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE
DOWNSTAIRS SLICING ORANGES.
496
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:09,041
(door slams)
AH!
497
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,347
(bottles rattling)
498
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,882
HMM. SOUNDS LIKE A LOT
OF DEAD SOLDIERS IN THERE.
499
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:19,552
WAS I A BAD INFLUENCE
ON YOU AND MOM, TOO?
500
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,088
WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT
WAS WAY OUT OF LINE.
501
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,956
DAD, EVE TOLD YOU
IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
502
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,958
I MEANT ME.
503
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:29,729
I'M CONFUSED. ARE YOU
ADMITTING YOU MADE A MISTAKE?
504
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:34,133
DON'T GET USED TO IT.
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN.
505
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,736
HONEY, I REALLY
APPRECIATE YOU
506
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:37,970
TRYING TO HELP
YOUR SISTER LAST NIGHT.
507
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:40,473
WELL, YOU KNOW, WE ALL
HAVE TO BE THERE FOR EVE.
508
00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:42,141
I ASSUME YOU GUYS
JUST KEEP ME AROUND
509
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:44,944
IN CASE SHE NEEDS
A KIDNEY.
510
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,314
LISTEN, HONEY,
511
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,981
I BELIEVE IN YOU JUST AS MUCH
AS I BELIEVE IN EVE.
512
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,617
IT'S JUST THAT THE THINGS
YOU'RE GOOD AT
513
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,151
REALLY AREN'T
IN MY WHEELHOUSE.
514
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,321
DO YOU MEAN LIKE BEING BEAUTIFUL
AND SOCIALLY GRACEFUL
515
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:58,090
AND FASHIONABLE, WITH A KIND OF
RADIANT STAR QUALITY?
516
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,127
YEAH, THAT CRAP.
517
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,063
YOU'RE VERY CONFIDENT,
518
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,966
AND SOMETIMES I FORGET THAT
YOU NEED ENCOURAGEMENT.
519
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:09,569
YEAH. MAYBE JUST ONCE...
OKAY.
520
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,605
EVERY DAY OR SO, WHEN I DO
SOMETHING ESPECIALLY AMAZING.
521
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:15,174
WELL, I'M GONNA PUSH YOU
JUST AS HARD AS I DO EVE.
522
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:16,943
AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA QUIT
THAT SHOW CHOIR.
523
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,945
WHEN DO YOU DO THAT SOLO?
IN A COUPLE MONTHS.
524
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,814
I WILL BE THERE.
525
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:24,016
UNLESS EVE HAS A SOCCER GAME.
526
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,352
(clicks tongue)
40096
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