Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,840
(TYRES SCREECH)
2
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,560
Okay. Did you have fun?
3
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,400
Did you have a good drive?
4
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,480
-Can we go now?
-No, I'm buying it.
5
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,480
Oh no, Dad. It doesn't make sense
6
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:17,640
-for you to be in this car.
-Wow.
7
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,320
You and this car are...
You're incompatible.
8
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,560
-You look old and stupid.
-JOSH: Like an old person
9
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:23,880
-that makes stupid decisions.
-Yes!
10
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,080
Alan, I wouldn't go taking advice
from someone with that haircut.
11
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,440
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
12
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,160
Yeah, kids these days
with their hair, huh?
13
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,080
Dad, you're just too big for it.
14
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:35,040
Too old, and big.
15
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,240
Josh, I'm not that old.
16
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:40,120
When you get in and out of this car,
you make a groan like an old man.
17
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,960
Women don't know anything about cars.
18
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,720
Oh, excuse me.
19
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,240
I am very sorry, sir,
for speaking out of turn, sir.
20
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,920
I was momentarily distracted by my uterus
21
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,880
-and I forgot my manners. (LAUGHS)
-Okay, thank you, Mae.
22
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,160
That's enough of that. Thank you.
23
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,400
Dad, everybody hates people
in cars like these.
24
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,640
It is too low. It's going to be
too hard on your joints. Come on.
25
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,000
No, rubbish. It's... This is...
26
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,080
-It's a cool car.
-(MAE SIGHS)
27
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,600
Look, I've worked hard my whole life.
I'm getting it.
28
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:06,920
Oh, God.
29
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,560
MAE: Not that cool.
30
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,680
♪ Ooooh, ooh ♪
31
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:17,960
-♪ Yeah, I'll be fine, yeah ♪-♪ Ooooh, ooh ♪
32
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:19,080
♪ Ooooh, ooh ♪
33
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,120
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪-♪ Ooooh, ooh ♪
34
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,400
♪ Oh, the good Lord knows it ♪
35
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,200
-♪ Ooooh, ooh ♪-♪ Oh, the good Lord knows it ♪
36
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,200
-♪ Ooh ♪-♪ I've left better behind ♪
37
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,080
-♪ I'll be fine ♪-♪ Yeah ♪
38
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,280
-♪ Yeah ♪-♪ Fine ♪
39
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,080
-♪ Make my mamma turn another blind ♪-♪ Eye ♪
40
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,280
BOTH: ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-ay ♪
41
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,480
♪ I've left better behindI'll be fine ♪
42
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,680
-I had an idea.
-Yeah?
43
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:43,960
-For your Mum...
-Okay.
44
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,280
To get her out of the house.
Help her make new friends.
45
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:47,520
Yes?
46
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,760
I think she should come to church,
and you should come too.
47
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,520
(LAUGHS) No, Peg,
48
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,320
we don't want to come to church.
We've spoken about this.
49
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,720
We don't want to go to church
because we don't believe in God.
50
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,480
Oh, would you prefer to go to hell?
51
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,160
You can't threaten
an atheist with hell, Peg.
52
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:03,520
It doesn't make any sense.
53
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,240
It's like a hippie threatening
to punch you in your aura.
54
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,200
It's stupid. (GASPS)
55
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,600
Jesus Christ, it's terrifying.
56
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,560
It's just terrifying driving with you.
57
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,480
I'm not going to be around
for very much longer,
58
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,800
and I would like to believe that one day
59
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,360
I might just bump into you in heaven.
60
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,880
Peg, we both know that you are,
unfortunately, very healthy, okay?
61
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,920
I'm not taking you to the party
unless you promise to come to church.
62
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,360
What a great way to trick God
into securing my eternal salvation.
63
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:31,480
Brilliant.
64
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,720
Oh, you can be as smart alec as you like,
65
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:35,960
but if you don't promise
to come to church,
66
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:41,080
I am just going to keep driving
past the party and take you home.
67
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:45,520
Have to eat those horrible pies
all by ourselves.
68
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,080
Fine. And they're tarts.
And they're not horrible.
69
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,400
-They're delicious.
-PEG: They're over-mixed.
70
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:55,440
You should know better.
I taught you how to cook tarts, and pies.
71
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,560
You know that I'm not really
coming to church, yeah?
72
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,920
Josh, you are such a disappointment!
73
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,000
Why are you, uh, waiting out the front?
74
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,040
I was waiting for you
so we could go in together.
75
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:22,520
How long have you been waiting for?
76
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,080
Since I got here.
I don't know, half an hour.
77
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,320
GEOFFREY: What are you doing?
78
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,480
Just... I just like it better
when your shirt's off.
79
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,280
-Oh, okay.
-Yes!
80
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,560
(CAR APPROACHING)
81
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:43,840
Joshua!
82
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,680
-Aunty Peg.
-Hi, Aunty Peg!
83
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,200
You forgot your tarts.
84
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:50,880
Of course.
85
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,360
-Does your mother know about this?
-No.
86
00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,960
Well... (CHUCKLES) I guess
I'll be seeing you in church, then.
87
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,280
MAE: You haven't mentioned
how pretty I look.
88
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,440
You look very pretty.
89
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,880
Well, you look like shit.
90
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,800
(LAUGHS) That's okay.
I have a good imagination.
91
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,800
You always look pretty.
92
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:25,360
I'm sorry. I was just thinking about
Josh living with his mum.
93
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,520
Do you think it'll make her happy?
It should make her happy, right?
94
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,880
Now I'm using my imagination to
pretend that you can't stop thinking
95
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,680
about how pretty I look...
96
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:36,480
-Okay.
-Instead of your depressing ex-wife.
97
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,000
I'm sorry. I'll change the subject.
98
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,160
Yes, and not to your car.
99
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,080
Something that isn't your car
or your ex-wife.
100
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,760
-I just want to make it better.
-Yes.
101
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,640
Yes, I know.
102
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,120
All right for drinks?
103
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,840
Jeez, mate, I thought I was going to
have to send out a carrier pigeon.
104
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,840
No, no, no, no, she's driving.
105
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,400
I'll have the same again, thanks.
106
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,880
I'll have a lemonade, please.
107
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,200
We were married 20 years, Mae.
108
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,000
And that's not bad, you know,
109
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:10,000
because the average marriage
only lasts 8.7 years.
110
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,520
Oh, what?
111
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,520
-Okay, I'll talk about something else.
-No.
112
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,400
You don't want to talk about
something else.
113
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,280
-I do. I do.
-No.
114
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,600
(INHALES DEEPLY) I'll go to the bathroom.
115
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:31,560
(SIGHS)
116
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:35,400
We can talk about animals you've seen
on the Internet in funny costumes.
117
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,880
Thank you very much.
118
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,920
-NIAMH: Would you like a drink, Geoffrey?
-Oh, I don't drink.
119
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,480
What? Why?
120
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,840
Some people don't drink, Niamh.
121
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:53,800
-Yeah, my Dad's an alcoholic.
-Oh.
122
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,360
Okay, let's play this game I invented.
123
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,720
Uh, it's called,
"What's the most embarrassing thing
124
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,000
"that's ever happened to your genitals?"
125
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,920
-Yes!
-Who's starting?
126
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,440
No, wait, wait, wait.
How does this game work?
127
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,040
Basically you tell everyone
the most embarrassing thing
128
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:06,360
that's ever happened to your genitals.
129
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,720
Mmm, I know what mine is.
130
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,440
I'll start. Uh, once, when I was
making out with this girl...
131
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,280
GEOFFREY: How many girls
have you made out with?
132
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:18,000
Um, I've had sex-ish with five. Five.
133
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,640
-Five girls.
-GEOFFREY: Did you like it?
134
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,360
(JOSH CHUCKLES)
135
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,040
Claire's sitting right there.
136
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,600
It's fine. I was there for it.
137
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:26,960
-I know what it was like.
-Harsh.
138
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,840
Tom gave me chlamydia once.
139
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:31,160
Say what?
140
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,160
That's my thing.
My most embarrassing thing.
141
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,600
-Oh, it's not really your turn.
-I did not give you chlamydia.
142
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,560
Ah, yes you did.
How else could I have gotten it?
143
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,520
I've explained it. Before I met you,
I hadn't had sex for eight months.
144
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,560
It's true. Tom is just
really horrible at getting sex.
145
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,400
Yeah, well I got it
right after I met you,
146
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,160
so I think you must be hiding something.
147
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,720
No, it's just... You can get it
and then not have any symptoms,
148
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,280
and it randomly just pops up.
149
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,440
That sounds a lot like bullshit, Tom.
150
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,200
It's not. That's the truth.
151
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:02,200
Oh, so I guess it's my fault, then.
Just like everything else.
152
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,320
Why don't we just agree to disagree
about who gave who chlamydia?
153
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,920
-(CHUCKLES)
-Because I don't want her telling everyone
154
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,280
that I gave her chlamydia.
155
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:09,680
It does suck, you getting a reputation
156
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,360
for sexually transmitted diseases
157
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,080
when you didn't actually
get to have the actual sex.
158
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,800
(LAUGHS) Yeah, well, of course,
you're all on Tom's side.
159
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,160
I'm not! I don't have a side.
160
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,200
Actually, there's no way
of telling who had it, so...
161
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:21,440
Thank you, Geoffrey.
162
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,560
Though, statistically speaking,
it probably was Niamh.
163
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,680
Yeah. You have had a considerable
amount more sex than Tom.
164
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,560
-Do you think I'm a slut?
-No...
165
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,800
I think it's more that
they're saying I'm not a slut.
166
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,320
He's totally frigid.
167
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,120
He's right. I pretty much am.
168
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:36,880
You're ashamed of me.
169
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,280
I'm not ashamed of you.
170
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,600
Why don't you ever back me up
in front of your friends?
171
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:44,040
Because you told them
that I gave you chlamydia.
172
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,080
(LAUGHTER)
173
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,760
It's over.
174
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:53,560
What?
175
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,000
It's over. Over, over. It's over.
176
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,160
We are over.
177
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:02,320
Fine.
178
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,800
Good luck getting through one day
without me.
179
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,040
-(DOOR CLOSING)
-Should someone go after her?
180
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:13,960
No.
181
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,280
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
182
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:47,680
(URINATING)
183
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,040
(PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
184
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,880
-Uh, sorry, sorry.
-MAN: Come on, mate!
185
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,040
ALAN: You're quite right.
MAN: What are you doing?
186
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,920
(SIGHS)
187
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,400
(SIRENS WAILING AT A DISTANCE)
188
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,880
(MOBILE RINGS)
189
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,200
ALAN: (OVER PHONE)
Hi, Josh, it's your dad.
190
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,120
-JOSH: Hi.
-Can you give me a lift home?
191
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,520
-Who is it?
-ALAN: Mae left me.
192
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,000
-JOSH: Oh, what happened?
-What's going on?
193
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,680
I don't know. She just left me and
she was supposed to drive me home.
194
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,440
-I've been drinking.
-JOSH: Can't you just get a cab?
195
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:32,000
-Josh, who is it?
-It's Dad.
196
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,800
-Who's that?
-It's Geoffrey.
197
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,040
ALAN: Who's Geoffrey?
198
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,600
No, he's just a friend.
199
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:38,240
-Hi, Geoffrey!
-JOSH: Dad says hi.
200
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,920
-Hi.
-JOSH: He says hi.
201
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,240
Can't you just get yourself home?
202
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,640
No, I... I have to get my car home.
I'm really worried about it.
203
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,360
JOSH: Where is it?
204
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:51,040
I... I can't remember.
Have you had anything to drink?
205
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,160
Can you pick me up?
206
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,040
Yes, I've been drinking. I can't help.
207
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,480
No. But I haven't been drinking.
You need to help your Dad out.
208
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,080
I'll take you.
209
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,280
(CLICKS TONGUE) Okay, fine.
210
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,800
We are...
211
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,920
Coming to rescue you.
212
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,120
Oh, thank you.
213
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,120
-Where's your Dad's girlfriend from?
-Thailand.
214
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,000
Oh, cool.
So she's like a mail order thing?
215
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,080
Whoa. Whoa, no.
216
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,880
Oh, I'm sorry. I just...
I didn't mean to be offensive.
217
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:26,680
-I'm not racist.
-Okay. It's fine. Okay, it's fine.
218
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,920
No, no, no, really. I'm not racist.
I dated an Asian once.
219
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:32,840
Whoa, okay. Great, fine.
220
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,720
Although I did date a racist once too,
so I don't know.
221
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,400
(CHUCKLES) Well, I think maybe she's
just from quite a well-off family,
222
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:42,080
apparently, and she just
genuinely likes Dad,
223
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,640
which is quite hard to believe.
224
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,200
Why did you tell your Dad
I was just your friend?
225
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:50,200
And you wouldn't kiss me
because your aunt was there.
226
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,160
-Yeah.
-And your Mum doesn't know.
227
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,800
Don't you think that's a bit lame?
228
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,000
Oh, I just can't be bothered.
229
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,040
Well, you need to tell them, dude.
They won't mind.
230
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,840
Do I? Do I really need to tell them?
231
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,280
Coming out to me just seems so '90s,
you know?
232
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,080
They've seen me in school musicals.
Do we really need a discussion?
233
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,360
What, so you aren't going to tell them?
234
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,400
I just... I just can't be bothered.
235
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,600
How do you think that makes me feel, dude?
236
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,320
Please don't call me "dude".
It's weird. We make out sometimes.
237
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,720
(HUMMING)
238
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:30,480
Oh, sweetie, talk to me, baby.
Answer the phone. Please?
239
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,280
JOSH: Dad?
240
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:35,880
Hi, this is Geoffrey.
241
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,800
It's an honour to finally meet you.
242
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:39,840
Yeah, you too.
243
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,320
-Do you know where your car is?
-No.
244
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,760
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TELEVISION)
245
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,280
You need to perk up.
246
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:56,360
Now I know you're sad, but it's Saturday.
247
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,320
And if I have to be stuck here with you...
248
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,680
-Oh.
-We're going to have some fun.
249
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,320
-I'm not allowed to drink, Peg.
-Oh, nonsense.
250
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,800
No, the doctor says
I'm not supposed to drink.
251
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:11,080
Well, how is someone supposed to stop
being depressed if you can't drink?
252
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,760
Ask somebody sensible.
253
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,720
John? Do you think
she should have a drink?
254
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,760
-John?
-He doesn't care.
255
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,520
Oh. (SIGHS)
256
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:31,880
-Oh, Jesus. Oh Jesus, who did this?
-(JOSH CHUCKLING)
257
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,120
It's...
258
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,160
Oh no, Josh, this is serious.
259
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,720
-(LAUGHS)
-(GASPS)
260
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,760
I told you. I told you if you bought
this car, everyone would hate you.
261
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:45,400
Oh, Alan, my car got egged once.
It's going to warp the paint.
262
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,000
-It's going to warp the paint?
-(JOSH CHUCKLING)
263
00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,000
(SIGHS) We have to get it washed.
264
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,080
Okay, it's fine. We can do it tomorrow.
265
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,000
No, it'll ruin the paint.
266
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,040
It's gonna warp the paint, Josh!
267
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,320
(LAUGHING)
268
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,120
Oh, Jesus.
269
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,120
Dad, are you...
270
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,200
Are you tearing up a bit?
271
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,600
-(SIGHS)
-JOSH: Dad, you know there's...
272
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:16,040
You know there's people in Africa
that can't afford Porsches.
273
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,160
They couldn't even afford a Yaris.
274
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,800
-Do you know how much this could cost?
-(JOSH LAUGHS)
275
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,360
Sometimes they can't afford food, Dad.
276
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,960
Sometimes they have HIV.
277
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,040
Who did this?
278
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,520
Just... Just a bit of perspective.
279
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,440
Arseholes!
280
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,760
TOM: How long are they taking?
281
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,040
-CLAIRE: Yeah.
-(MOBILE RINGS)
282
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,200
That's probably them.
283
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,200
-No, Niamh.
-Oh, how is she?
284
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,920
"I loved everything you are
with every part of my being.
285
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,640
"Go fuck yourself,
you skinny dick retard."
286
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:56,520
Ooh. Kind of took a turn halfway there.
287
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,240
I know she seemed like
a massive bitch most of the time,
288
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:03,840
but she isn't that bad.
289
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,720
Josh told me she spat on you.
290
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:08,880
One time.
291
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,080
Mmm.
292
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,640
We should get in the spa.
293
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,800
It's ridiculous that you have it
and you never use it.
294
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,400
So, Geoffrey, do you have
a girlfriend, or...
295
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,840
No, I'm gay.
296
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,600
Oh, rightio.
297
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,440
It's funny, you know,
298
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,520
because Josh's mother and I
always thought that he was gay.
299
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,800
(CHUCKLES) He was always
baking and dancing.
300
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:55,560
He is gay. Josh is gay. I'm his boyfriend.
301
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,760
Surprise!
302
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:09,920
ALAN: Really? You're Josh's boyfriend?
GEOFFREY: Yeah.
303
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:20,400
Okay, it's all right, Josh. It's okay.
I've decided I'm fine with it.
304
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,240
Thanks.
305
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:26,040
-After all, it's probably my fault.
-It's not anyone's fault.
306
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:29,000
I didn't play enough sport with you
when you were a kid.
307
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,720
Dad, I don't think the amount of
sport you play as a child
308
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:36,080
is in direct ratio to the men
who enjoy kissing boys.
309
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,880
Just promise me
that you'll use protection.
310
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,720
A homosexual man is 30 times
more likely to get AIDS.
311
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,000
No, that's not a fact, Dad.
312
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,280
That's not science. I really
don't think that's a real statistic.
313
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,600
Well, do you use protection, Geoffrey?
314
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:54,320
Oh, look, actually, it's a bit
awkward to talk about, Alan.
315
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:58,160
We haven't had penetrative sex yet,
316
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:02,440
but, when we do, I promise you
we will use protection.
317
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,880
Oh, well, good. That's good news.
318
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,880
(EXHALES DEEPLY) I mean,
I know it doesn't feel as good, but...
319
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,400
Gee whiz, it feels a hell of a lot better
than dying at 30.
320
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,000
-You got that right.
-Dad, please stop.
321
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,800
Oh, relax, will you?
322
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,480
Some fathers would punch you for this.
I'm a pretty good dad.
323
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,400
-(GASPS)
-Um...
324
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,960
I'm not going to turn the bubbles on
because they make me feel weird.
325
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,120
So, tell me again.
326
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,120
What is your opinion
of the financial crisis?
327
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,480
I just think if there were no banks,
328
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,040
then people would share their money more
329
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:53,640
because they'd be able to see it.
330
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,880
But people can see their money anytime.
331
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,480
Yeah, but not in cash form.
And it'd be like way harder to store.
332
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,560
So they'd probably have to
give heaps away as well.
333
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,240
Amazing.
334
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,360
I'm always worried there's going to be
frogs in here, or something.
335
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,680
(CHUCKLES)
336
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,840
John, if you were sad, what would you do?
337
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:30,120
-See, my Rose is sad.
-No, I'm depressed.
338
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,080
There's a difference. It's not sad.
339
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,400
Well, what's the difference?
340
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,760
Well, you can't cure it with ice cream.
341
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,840
-We got beer.
-You can't cure it... (LAUGHS)
342
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,920
You can't cure it with beer!
343
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,600
Oh, well, I have no idea.
344
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:47,880
(BOTH LAUGH)
345
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:52,480
So, uh, what are you doing tonight, Alan?
346
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:57,480
Um, I don't know, Geoffrey.
Mae won't answer the phone, so...
347
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,440
-Well, you should come hang with us.
-What?
348
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,120
Oh, I wouldn't want to interlude.
349
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,480
JOSH: Intrude.
350
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,520
But you should definitely come, Alan.
351
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,920
No, you definitely should not come.
352
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,920
Tom just broke up with Niamh.
He's probably crying. It'll be weird.
353
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,480
Well, but Mae won't let me into the house.
354
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,800
-It's your house!
-Yeah, women!
355
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:20,880
JOSH: Women!
356
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,280
-Ow!
-Ah, sorry.
357
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,840
-Better not give me chlamydia.
-It's gone, it's gone. I swear.
358
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,560
-I'm so sorry, Josh.
-Why?
359
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:54,800
ALAN: Well, you should be living in this
rat hole, not at your mum's place.
360
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:57,280
JOSH: It's fine.
I have a room here that you pay for.
361
00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:00,200
ALAN: I've stolen your youth.
I am so proud of you.
362
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,400
And... And Mum's proud too.
363
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,400
She probably doesn't say it,
but I know that she is...
364
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,800
JOSH: Okay, Dad. If you're coming into
the house you have to promise
365
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,880
to stop talking about Mum, okay?
Tom's just broken up with Niamh.
366
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:14,880
He's probably really upset
and also it's just so boring.
367
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,720
Right, okay. Zip.
368
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,040
(DOOR CLOSING)
369
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,000
-Was that... Shit.
-Shit, shit, shit!
370
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:30,720
So, Alan, who do you barrack for?
371
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,080
ALAN: Melbourne Storm, Geoffrey.
372
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,040
-League? Are you serious?
-ALAN: Go the storm. Yeah, yeah.
373
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,760
Look, I think AFL's for pansies.
374
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,720
Am I allowed to say "pansy"?
375
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,840
-Yeah. Yeah.
-I can say pansy.
376
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:47,080
-Where's Tom and Claire?
-Hey, Tom! Claire! (CHUCKLES)
377
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,360
I might go and get some tarts.
378
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,760
Oh, you guys are back. That was quick!
379
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,680
-Hi, Alan.
-(GRUNTS) Hi, Claire.
380
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,200
-Nice to see you.
-Oh, your hair's wet.
381
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,520
Yes, I was just in the...
382
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,840
Tom and I were just in the spa,
so that's why.
383
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,280
Hello, Tom!
384
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,000
How long have you guys been here?
385
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,280
Not long.
386
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,760
Would you like a Portuguese custard tart?
387
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,000
I made Portuguese custard tarts.
388
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,360
-We've been in the spa.
-Okay.
389
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,600
Did you guys know that Josh is gay?
390
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,760
-ALAN: Oh.
-Yeah.
391
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,360
Oh, sorry.
392
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,840
I guess that must have made
you feel pretty weird, Claire.
393
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:28,320
Ah, not really.
It's probably for the best,
394
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,760
-really, isn't it?
-Yeah.
395
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:34,560
So no-one wants a Portuguese custard tart?
396
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,120
This is mine.
397
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,840
But it looks good there.
398
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,160
(FARTS) Oh, excuse me.
399
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,840
(LAUGHTER)
400
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,280
(PLAYS PIANO NOTES OFF-KEY)
401
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,240
So how are you feeling about Niamh?
402
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,560
Good. Fine.
403
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,600
-Really?
-Really, really.
404
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:10,560
And, um, how's your chlamydia?
405
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,000
-Fine.
-Yeah?
406
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,880
Why's your Dad here?
407
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,440
JOSH: Geoffrey invited him.
408
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,120
-Why?
-Because he's so fucking considerate!
409
00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:25,200
(CONTINUES PLAYING)
410
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,760
(MUSIC PLAYING ON TELEVISION)
411
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,480
JOSH: What are they talking about?
412
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,240
How could anyone talk to my dad
for this long?
413
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,480
I think Geoffrey's genuinely interested.
414
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,400
TOM: I don't think I've ever heard
your Dad say anything interesting.
415
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,960
I don't think I've ever heard
Geoffrey say anything interesting.
416
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,120
CLAIRE: Tom, could you maybe give me
a hand in the kitchen, please?
417
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,680
TOM: I'd better.
418
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:14,480
To be honest, Geoffrey,
I guess I still love his mother.
419
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,840
But I failed her.
420
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,280
I failed her, Geoffrey.
421
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:24,440
-And now Mae.
-No, no, no, don't say that, Alan.
422
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,320
No one has any control over these things.
423
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,120
I mean...
And if none of it had happened, then...
424
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,840
Then you wouldn't have
such a cool car like you do now.
425
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,560
And these things,
they happen for a reason, dude.
426
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:40,720
Yeah.
427
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,040
You're going to be really good for Josh.
428
00:22:57,120 --> 00:22:58,920
Okay, I gotta go to church.
429
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,520
Let's do this. Who wants to come, huh?
430
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,880
Come on, it'll be fun, yeah?
431
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,200
-Pretend like it's ironic.
-I'll come.
432
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,160
-I actually quite like it.
-JOSH: Bam! Claire's in.
433
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,600
TOM: I'll go.
JOSH: Great.
434
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,080
-Tom's for Jesus.
-GEOFFREY: I'll come.
435
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,520
Geoffrey's for Jesus. This is good.
436
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,120
Alan? Alan, did you want to come?
437
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,320
Oh, what the fuck?
438
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:24,120
PRIEST: Today, Jesus urges us
to live a worthy life.
439
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,840
(MOBILE RINGS)
440
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,080
And what better gift to give him
than that of a marriage
441
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,880
between a man and a woman?
442
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:38,040
But marriage as an institution
is under great pressure today.
443
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:42,080
No two men or two women
444
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,360
can become one flesh.
445
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,480
We weren't designed to be homosexual.
446
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,640
Any electrician will tell you
you can't get power
447
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,520
if you use two same sex
electrical sockets.
448
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,440
They simply won't spark.
449
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,520
And if you consider a magnet,
450
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,240
two positives come together
and they repel.
451
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,680
Yet when the opposite sources are used,
452
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,360
they weld to one another, tightly,
453
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:14,360
like a man and wife in holy matrimony.
454
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,760
Homosexual sex
455
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,640
is dangerous and destructive
to the human body.
456
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,960
Homosexuality is a sin.
457
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,280
(PEG GASPS)
458
00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:28,640
I... I have...
459
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,520
I have just learned
460
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,320
that I have a homosexual grandson.
461
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,440
Technically he's not my grandson,
but, anyway,
462
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,720
that's... That's not important.
463
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,240
Certainly, it was a disappointment.
464
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,400
I feel like I've been robbed of
great grandchildren. But...
465
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:54,880
If he has decided
to lead a homosexual lifestyle...
466
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:58,720
Isn't it...
467
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:03,160
Isn't it my responsibility to love him?
468
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,760
Because...
Because if they are born that way,
469
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,040
they... They have no choice but...
470
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,440
To be true to themselves.
471
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,880
Josh?
472
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,240
Josh, stand up. Stand up.
473
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,280
This is my Josh.
474
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:38,520
He... He is homosexual.
475
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:41,840
And I love him.
476
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,280
Which is what God would want.
477
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,520
And if it isn't what God would want,
478
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,960
then... Then He or She can...
479
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,000
Can stick it!
480
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,600
(CLAPPING)
481
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,080
Come on, we're off.
482
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,520
-(CLEARS THROAT)
-(PIANO PLAYS)
483
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,080
(CHOIR SINGING)
484
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:26,440
Don't think this is such a big deal.
485
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,760
-It's not like I haven't always known.
-Yes, okay.
486
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,600
Can you just pretend to be surprised?
487
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,680
Hello, ma'am,
I'm Josh's boyfriend, Geoffrey.
488
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:39,280
Oh, but you're so handsome,
489
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,160
and he's so... Um...
490
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:43,920
-What?
-I don't know.
491
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,760
Thomas, please change the subject.
492
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:48,800
Okay.
493
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,240
Niamh is pregnant.
494
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,080
Whew!
495
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,120
(CHOIR CONTINUES SINGING)
37844
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.