All language subtitles for Arrested Development - 04x05 - A New Start.WEBRip-NFRiP.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,587 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:09,948 --> 00:00:12,117 Keep your eyes open. 3 00:00:14,369 --> 00:00:16,580 All right, guys, what do we got? 4 00:00:16,622 --> 00:00:17,914 It's quiet out there. 5 00:00:17,956 --> 00:00:19,458 Stand by. 6 00:00:20,709 --> 00:00:23,545 Yeah, we, uh, we better be ready. 7 00:00:23,587 --> 00:00:25,004 Yeah, I'm a man. 8 00:00:25,046 --> 00:00:27,299 Don't make it look like makeup. 9 00:00:28,389 --> 00:00:30,099 Car. 10 00:00:30,141 --> 00:00:31,726 Car. 11 00:00:31,768 --> 00:00:34,312 Is that guy one of ours? 12 00:00:34,354 --> 00:00:37,148 Look at the license plate. 13 00:00:37,190 --> 00:00:40,026 Looks like we got ourselves an anus tart. 14 00:00:40,067 --> 00:00:43,780 Tobias Funke was on his way to reconnect 15 00:00:43,822 --> 00:00:45,699 with a daughter he'd lost touch with. 16 00:00:45,740 --> 00:00:46,700 Hey, there. 17 00:00:46,741 --> 00:00:48,326 It's Big Daddy. 18 00:00:48,368 --> 00:00:51,454 I thought I'd try to call you before I surprised you. 19 00:00:51,496 --> 00:00:54,749 Things are... really looking up, and... 20 00:00:55,709 --> 00:00:57,168 Hello? Oh, damn it. 21 00:00:57,210 --> 00:00:59,253 What Sudden Valley does to these cell phones. 22 00:00:59,295 --> 00:01:00,380 Oops. 23 00:01:00,421 --> 00:01:02,215 Unbeknownst to Tobias, however, 24 00:01:02,256 --> 00:01:05,009 the Sudden Valley home he was on his way to visit... 25 00:01:05,051 --> 00:01:06,927 Anus tart is turning on Tracey Lane. 26 00:01:06,969 --> 00:01:09,389 ...had been rented out to a television crew. 27 00:01:09,430 --> 00:01:10,473 He's creeping up George Michael. 28 00:01:10,515 --> 00:01:11,891 All right, guys, let's entrap 29 00:01:11,932 --> 00:01:13,309 a local predator. 30 00:01:13,351 --> 00:01:14,728 Come on. Lowlife. 31 00:01:14,769 --> 00:01:16,813 We got to put this piece of (bleep)... 32 00:01:16,855 --> 00:01:18,255 Who, what, when, where, why and how. 33 00:01:18,272 --> 00:01:19,607 Who, what, where, when, why and how. 34 00:01:19,649 --> 00:01:22,276 Who, what, when, where, why and how. 35 00:01:24,028 --> 00:01:25,946 Anus tart is approaching the portico. 36 00:01:25,988 --> 00:01:28,742 Yes, Tobias was finally about to get 37 00:01:28,783 --> 00:01:31,745 a starring role on a hit TV show. 38 00:01:31,786 --> 00:01:35,122 Is there a little girl here all by herself? 39 00:01:35,164 --> 00:01:37,124 And now the story of the awful people 40 00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:39,544 who are about to lose everything, and the one newsman 41 00:01:39,586 --> 00:01:42,088 who had no choice but to entrap them all together. 42 00:01:42,129 --> 00:01:46,092 It's John Beard's To Entrap a Local Predator, "Supercreeps." 43 00:01:46,133 --> 00:01:48,177 Now the story of a family 44 00:01:48,219 --> 00:01:51,431 whose future was abruptly cancelled, 45 00:01:51,472 --> 00:01:53,391 and the one son-in-law who had no choice 46 00:01:53,433 --> 00:01:54,934 but to keep himself together. 47 00:01:58,157 --> 00:02:01,315 It's Tobias's Arrested Development. 48 00:02:04,652 --> 00:02:09,407 Five years before Tobias was to appear on John Beard's TV show, 49 00:02:09,449 --> 00:02:11,743 his acting career was as washed up... 50 00:02:11,785 --> 00:02:13,745 - None taken. - ...as his family... 51 00:02:13,787 --> 00:02:15,455 You are soaked to the bone. 52 00:02:15,496 --> 00:02:17,957 ...and those men he was touching for some reason. 53 00:02:17,998 --> 00:02:19,834 And his wife challenged him 54 00:02:19,876 --> 00:02:22,420 to reexamine the other parts of his life as well. 55 00:02:22,462 --> 00:02:24,130 There's nothing keeping us together. 56 00:02:24,171 --> 00:02:27,091 It's time to give up our dreams if they're not working. 57 00:02:27,133 --> 00:02:28,885 You know, your acting career, 58 00:02:28,927 --> 00:02:31,512 this marriage that everyone thinks is a sham 59 00:02:31,554 --> 00:02:32,639 because you're gay. 60 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,307 I-I'm sorry. 61 00:02:34,348 --> 00:02:37,518 Everyone thinks I'm gay? 62 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:41,940 Well, I mean, it's kind of a running joke in the family. 63 00:02:41,981 --> 00:02:44,776 I mean, y-you know that, right? 64 00:02:44,818 --> 00:02:47,069 'Cause of the misleading way you talk sometimes. 65 00:02:47,111 --> 00:02:50,364 Oh, you're saying the way I talk makes me sound gay? 66 00:02:50,406 --> 00:02:51,658 When in the last year 67 00:02:51,699 --> 00:02:54,243 have I said anything remotely mis... 68 00:02:54,285 --> 00:02:56,995 ♪ It's just a fallacy! ♪ 69 00:02:57,037 --> 00:02:59,874 ...leading? Is this because I want to be an actor, 70 00:02:59,916 --> 00:03:01,584 and all the leading men in Hollywood are gay? 71 00:03:01,626 --> 00:03:03,419 I don't think that all the leading men 72 00:03:03,461 --> 00:03:04,504 in Hollywood are gay. 73 00:03:04,545 --> 00:03:06,046 Oh, honey. 74 00:03:06,088 --> 00:03:08,758 Look, we're chasing things that aren't real. 75 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,511 Maybe we need to go out there and find out 76 00:03:11,552 --> 00:03:13,095 what we're meant to do. 77 00:03:13,137 --> 00:03:16,599 His wife was giving him the cold shoulder. 78 00:03:16,641 --> 00:03:18,225 And after kissing it good-bye, 79 00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:22,146 he sat with her family, feeling lost... 80 00:03:22,188 --> 00:03:25,023 Well, you look like I feel. 81 00:03:25,065 --> 00:03:26,943 ...and very misunderstood. 82 00:03:26,985 --> 00:03:28,361 Gay? 83 00:03:28,402 --> 00:03:30,446 No, I... 84 00:03:30,488 --> 00:03:31,865 No. 85 00:03:31,906 --> 00:03:34,492 Tobias knew it was time to find out 86 00:03:34,534 --> 00:03:35,734 what he was truly meant to do. 87 00:03:35,743 --> 00:03:37,829 So when he came across a book 88 00:03:37,871 --> 00:03:40,080 the universe had placed in his path, 89 00:03:40,122 --> 00:03:41,415 he was open to its inspiration. 90 00:03:41,457 --> 00:03:43,543 Oh, they're still reading, but... 91 00:03:43,584 --> 00:03:45,795 well, I guess I can leave them some love. 92 00:03:45,837 --> 00:03:47,839 So he just took "eat" and "pray." 93 00:03:49,841 --> 00:03:51,425 "Eat" was easy, 94 00:03:51,467 --> 00:03:54,804 although it provided no cosmic answers for him. 95 00:03:54,846 --> 00:03:58,016 But it was the part about India that really got to him. 96 00:03:58,057 --> 00:04:00,518 And so, like the heroine of Eat, Pray, 97 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,436 - Tobias decided - Wait a minute. 98 00:04:02,478 --> 00:04:05,565 to get as far away from his wife as possible. 99 00:04:07,149 --> 00:04:12,196 And so Tobias found himself booking passage to India. 100 00:04:12,238 --> 00:04:14,991 And soon, he discovered his wife was also 101 00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:16,951 preparing to go somewhere... 102 00:04:16,993 --> 00:04:18,912 - I think you have my suitcase. - ...far away. 103 00:04:18,953 --> 00:04:20,914 I'm so sorry, Tobias. 104 00:04:20,955 --> 00:04:22,248 Look, I've already packed. 105 00:04:22,289 --> 00:04:23,249 Can I just use this one? 106 00:04:23,290 --> 00:04:25,084 Oh, what the heck. 107 00:04:25,125 --> 00:04:28,379 I guess having matching luggage isn't so romantic anymore. 108 00:04:28,421 --> 00:04:30,048 And these romantic gestures are 109 00:04:30,089 --> 00:04:32,717 possibly why people think I'm a homosexual. 110 00:04:32,759 --> 00:04:36,512 Well, it's time to correct old misconceptions. 111 00:04:36,554 --> 00:04:38,932 And that is why I'm making a new start. 112 00:04:38,973 --> 00:04:41,350 Oh, a new start. 113 00:04:41,392 --> 00:04:43,895 Filled with compassion and love. 114 00:04:43,937 --> 00:04:45,271 I like that. 115 00:04:45,312 --> 00:04:46,689 Well, I've already got the license plate, 116 00:04:46,731 --> 00:04:47,815 so go cry in your pie! 117 00:04:47,857 --> 00:04:50,026 And so Tobias, hoping to 118 00:04:50,068 --> 00:04:54,154 "straighten out" his image, set out on a new start, 119 00:04:54,196 --> 00:04:57,491 beginning with a trip to the airport in an outfit 120 00:04:57,533 --> 00:04:59,786 he pretty much put together himself. 121 00:04:59,827 --> 00:05:01,495 Well, I guess this is why 122 00:05:01,537 --> 00:05:02,956 you never see them driving convertibles. 123 00:05:02,997 --> 00:05:04,457 I'll have to check on that one. 124 00:05:04,498 --> 00:05:06,542 But it certainly wasn't embraced... 125 00:05:06,584 --> 00:05:07,919 Stay in your lane, anus tart! 126 00:05:07,961 --> 00:05:09,295 (bleep) anus tart! 127 00:05:09,336 --> 00:05:10,713 ...by the local Indian community. 128 00:05:10,755 --> 00:05:12,131 You have the true sense of the oneness of all. 129 00:05:12,172 --> 00:05:14,759 And his quest hit a bump early on, 130 00:05:14,801 --> 00:05:18,012 as he struggled to learn the customs and gestures of 131 00:05:18,054 --> 00:05:20,014 - the culture he hoped to adopt. - Oh, goddamn it! 132 00:05:20,056 --> 00:05:23,101 Am I the only one who still dresses to fly? 133 00:05:23,142 --> 00:05:25,352 Well, there we go. 134 00:05:25,394 --> 00:05:26,729 India clean. 135 00:05:28,188 --> 00:05:29,774 Now, how did I... 136 00:05:29,816 --> 00:05:31,067 No. No. 137 00:05:31,109 --> 00:05:33,402 Unfortunately, recreating the look 138 00:05:33,444 --> 00:05:35,237 - of the traditional Indian garb - Are you finished? Oh. 139 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:36,906 turned out to be more difficult... 140 00:05:36,948 --> 00:05:38,828 I look like one of those hot guys from Spartacus. 141 00:05:38,866 --> 00:05:42,036 ...without the aid of Pradeep, the helpful Indian salesman... 142 00:05:42,078 --> 00:05:44,246 I feel like there was less up top. 143 00:05:44,288 --> 00:05:47,207 ...at Bed, Bath & Beyond, who helped him learn how to tie it. 144 00:05:47,249 --> 00:05:48,709 Ah, got it, okay. 145 00:05:52,046 --> 00:05:53,589 Yes, I actually like this better. 146 00:05:53,631 --> 00:05:55,091 Yes? 147 00:05:57,510 --> 00:05:58,886 Canadian? 148 00:05:58,928 --> 00:06:00,554 No, I'm American. 149 00:06:00,596 --> 00:06:02,682 Oh, yeah. I'm Canadian. 150 00:06:02,723 --> 00:06:04,058 Oh. Sorry. 151 00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:05,977 But because it was a long flight, 152 00:06:06,019 --> 00:06:08,688 he figured he'd wait a beat on finding his true calling 153 00:06:08,729 --> 00:06:10,648 and watch something to take his mind off Lindsay... 154 00:06:10,690 --> 00:06:13,067 How could they not have Failure to Launch? 155 00:06:13,109 --> 00:06:15,193 ...who he knew was far away at the time. 156 00:06:15,235 --> 00:06:16,696 Goddamn it. 157 00:06:17,905 --> 00:06:19,365 And after taking 158 00:06:19,406 --> 00:06:20,950 the wrong bag at the airport... 159 00:06:20,992 --> 00:06:22,576 Do not leave any goats unattended. 160 00:06:22,618 --> 00:06:25,997 All unattended goats will be confiscated. 161 00:06:26,039 --> 00:06:28,374 ...Tobias finally arrived... 162 00:06:28,415 --> 00:06:31,002 And so Tobias Funke embarked on a-- 163 00:06:31,044 --> 00:06:34,714 Oh, dear, Lord, it's... hot! 164 00:06:34,755 --> 00:06:37,633 ...in India, yes, where he was very uncomfortable. 165 00:06:37,675 --> 00:06:39,927 Not only because the wind whipped up 166 00:06:39,969 --> 00:06:42,138 his queen-sized fitted mini-sarong, 167 00:06:42,180 --> 00:06:44,974 but because he looked the wrong direction 168 00:06:45,016 --> 00:06:46,216 when stepping into the street. 169 00:06:47,476 --> 00:06:49,520 And so Tobias experienced India 170 00:06:49,562 --> 00:06:51,522 from the inside of a hospital room, 171 00:06:51,564 --> 00:06:53,024 where the staff was being trained... 172 00:06:53,066 --> 00:06:54,984 This man here broke his skull in two places. 173 00:06:55,026 --> 00:06:57,277 ...by the same doctor he'd had in America. 174 00:06:57,319 --> 00:06:59,446 Once outside the airport and once in the elevator 175 00:06:59,488 --> 00:07:02,240 when his sheet got caught and he was pulled off his gurney. 176 00:07:02,282 --> 00:07:03,409 Literally. 177 00:07:03,450 --> 00:07:04,730 Two places indeed. 178 00:07:04,744 --> 00:07:06,328 This is very funny. 179 00:07:06,370 --> 00:07:08,122 It's like that new show we just caught, Laugh-In. 180 00:07:08,164 --> 00:07:09,456 My name is... 181 00:07:09,498 --> 00:07:11,084 Oh! 182 00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:14,420 Now I've broken my skull in a third place! 183 00:07:14,461 --> 00:07:17,090 On this elephant guy statue! 184 00:07:17,131 --> 00:07:19,800 Tobias had wanted the universe to provide him a sign. 185 00:07:19,842 --> 00:07:21,552 You should be a comedy actor. 186 00:07:21,594 --> 00:07:23,721 And finally it had. 187 00:07:23,763 --> 00:07:25,765 This is the sign I've been... 188 00:07:25,806 --> 00:07:27,975 Looking for. 189 00:07:28,017 --> 00:07:29,894 And after two more weeks in the hospital, 190 00:07:29,936 --> 00:07:32,105 it was time for his flight home. 191 00:07:32,146 --> 00:07:34,023 And that's when he got another sign. 192 00:07:36,025 --> 00:07:38,569 A call from Lindsay. 193 00:07:38,611 --> 00:07:40,362 Although he wouldn't be able to reach the phone for hours... 194 00:07:40,404 --> 00:07:42,073 I'm ready to make this work. 195 00:07:42,115 --> 00:07:44,408 ...due to his already weakened spine. 196 00:07:48,121 --> 00:07:49,622 Tobias and Lindsay 197 00:07:49,663 --> 00:07:51,498 shared the news of their new start 198 00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:52,917 at a family gathering. 199 00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,585 I got the part. 200 00:07:54,627 --> 00:07:56,796 You know, it's funny, for I, too, find that 201 00:07:56,837 --> 00:07:58,214 I am on a journey. 202 00:07:58,256 --> 00:07:59,548 Although, as we discovered 203 00:07:59,590 --> 00:08:01,467 when our MasterCard bill came back, 204 00:08:01,508 --> 00:08:03,052 it was the same one she took. 205 00:08:03,094 --> 00:08:04,887 But mine has confirmed that I should 206 00:08:04,929 --> 00:08:07,306 redouble my efforts to achieve 207 00:08:07,347 --> 00:08:11,269 the unachievable dream of being an actor. 208 00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:14,105 A journey that has left me eager 209 00:08:14,147 --> 00:08:17,775 to connect with my true love. 210 00:08:17,817 --> 00:08:20,027 Particularly if she finds her... 211 00:08:20,069 --> 00:08:22,780 way clear to covering a 2, 000-rupee 212 00:08:22,822 --> 00:08:25,950 City of Hopelessness hospital debt. 213 00:08:25,992 --> 00:08:28,119 The trick is going to be getting anyone to believe 214 00:08:28,161 --> 00:08:29,411 that her husband is straight enough 215 00:08:29,453 --> 00:08:31,330 to have a true love that's a woman. 216 00:08:31,371 --> 00:08:33,082 What are you implying? 217 00:08:33,124 --> 00:08:35,126 Oh, I don't think there was any implying going on at all. 218 00:08:35,168 --> 00:08:36,335 Didn't hear any implying. 219 00:08:36,376 --> 00:08:37,544 I wasn't implying. 220 00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:38,921 I'm sorry, Mother. 221 00:08:38,963 --> 00:08:40,506 It's just, I've got a bit of a stick 222 00:08:40,547 --> 00:08:42,008 up my "bunghole" about what I've now found 223 00:08:42,049 --> 00:08:43,467 is a running joke about me. 224 00:08:43,509 --> 00:08:45,303 But let's be honest. 225 00:08:45,344 --> 00:08:48,931 For 2, 000 rupees, we'd both go down on Matthew McConaughey. 226 00:08:48,973 --> 00:08:50,808 Yes, Michael? 227 00:08:50,850 --> 00:08:52,852 At the time of this family meeting, 228 00:08:52,893 --> 00:08:54,061 2, 000 rupees was $36. 229 00:08:54,103 --> 00:08:56,022 I wouldn't. 230 00:08:56,063 --> 00:08:58,107 Of course you wouldn't, Michael. 231 00:08:58,149 --> 00:09:00,109 You never accept help from anyone. 232 00:09:00,151 --> 00:09:02,402 And hoping to do things differently this time, 233 00:09:02,444 --> 00:09:05,281 Lindsay immediately started spending money she didn't have. 234 00:09:05,323 --> 00:09:06,907 Are you ready to make a move? 235 00:09:06,949 --> 00:09:11,537 As you can see, I'm ready for a lot that's new. 236 00:09:11,578 --> 00:09:13,039 Oh, good heavens. 237 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,041 While Tobias pursued 238 00:09:15,082 --> 00:09:17,043 the life of a professional actor. 239 00:09:17,084 --> 00:09:19,086 Listen, I'm an actor, you're an agent. 240 00:09:19,128 --> 00:09:20,213 You do the math. 241 00:09:20,254 --> 00:09:21,714 I want you to represent me. 242 00:09:21,755 --> 00:09:23,924 In other words, you do the math-- 243 00:09:23,966 --> 00:09:25,343 the money, the negotiating. 244 00:09:25,384 --> 00:09:27,427 You know I'm not that kind of agent, right? 245 00:09:27,469 --> 00:09:29,055 I'm a real estate agent. 246 00:09:29,096 --> 00:09:31,807 I'm a predator; I sell giant houses to very poor people 247 00:09:31,849 --> 00:09:33,559 who can't afford them with predatory loans. 248 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,519 No, see, that's the money stuff I don't understand. 249 00:09:35,561 --> 00:09:37,437 All you need to do is tell people 250 00:09:37,479 --> 00:09:39,523 what a terrific actor I am, 'cause I can't do it believably. 251 00:09:39,565 --> 00:09:40,900 What do you say? 252 00:09:40,941 --> 00:09:42,651 Sounds like it shouldn't be too much work. 253 00:09:42,693 --> 00:09:43,819 Huzzah! 254 00:09:43,861 --> 00:09:45,071 Okay, here's the number 255 00:09:45,112 --> 00:09:47,114 of my current agent Mike Matthews. 256 00:09:47,156 --> 00:09:50,201 He's at Allstate. Fire him. 257 00:09:50,243 --> 00:09:54,205 Tobias started seeing positive career signs everywhere... 258 00:09:54,247 --> 00:09:55,622 ...decorating my quarters. 259 00:09:55,664 --> 00:09:59,085 ...he chose to put them. 260 00:09:59,126 --> 00:10:00,920 And at his new agent's suggestion... 261 00:10:00,961 --> 00:10:02,838 Hi. I'm after pending. 262 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,465 ...he even snuck on to a studio lot to hand out head shots 263 00:10:05,507 --> 00:10:08,719 to extras and other show business insiders. 264 00:10:08,761 --> 00:10:10,388 Taft-Hartley pending. 265 00:10:10,429 --> 00:10:12,139 Things were looking up for the Funkes. 266 00:10:12,181 --> 00:10:14,516 They even celebrated their first 267 00:10:14,558 --> 00:10:16,769 - home-cooked Thanksgiving. - Including duck l'orange. 268 00:10:16,810 --> 00:10:18,062 Oh! 269 00:10:18,104 --> 00:10:19,980 Oh, no! 270 00:10:20,022 --> 00:10:22,316 Lindsay! Lindsay, get the scooper! 271 00:10:22,358 --> 00:10:23,692 Throw oranges at it. 272 00:10:23,734 --> 00:10:25,652 Hot orange! Hot orange. 273 00:10:25,694 --> 00:10:26,946 All right... 274 00:10:26,987 --> 00:10:28,572 It's throwing its voice! 275 00:10:28,614 --> 00:10:30,157 - Oh! - Lindsay! 276 00:10:31,325 --> 00:10:33,411 And so they went 277 00:10:33,452 --> 00:10:36,163 to the Fountain Valley China Garden instead. 278 00:10:36,205 --> 00:10:39,375 And if the collapse of the housing market, 279 00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:41,835 - his lack of auditions... - Tobias Funke. 280 00:10:41,877 --> 00:10:43,796 or even the writers' strike 281 00:10:43,837 --> 00:10:45,881 couldn't deter Tobias from his dream, 282 00:10:45,923 --> 00:10:47,841 the suicide of his ruined 283 00:10:47,883 --> 00:10:49,843 and despondent agent certainly could. 284 00:10:49,885 --> 00:10:54,140 I believe he died as a warning, in a way, his message perhaps 285 00:10:54,181 --> 00:10:56,183 to live within our means 286 00:10:56,225 --> 00:10:59,019 and be realistic about our lives. 287 00:10:59,061 --> 00:11:00,604 And yet it didn't. 288 00:11:00,646 --> 00:11:03,065 Well, then I shall redouble my efforts 289 00:11:03,107 --> 00:11:05,943 so that he died in vain. 290 00:11:08,321 --> 00:11:10,030 Meaning he will have led a pointless life, 291 00:11:10,072 --> 00:11:11,157 is what I mean. 292 00:11:11,198 --> 00:11:12,450 Yes, carry on. Thank you. 293 00:11:12,490 --> 00:11:13,867 And he soon found himself 294 00:11:13,909 --> 00:11:17,288 bringing his wife to an acting class 295 00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:19,915 in an effort to jump-start his career and marriage. 296 00:11:19,957 --> 00:11:21,792 If everyone's good, you'll get your juice. 297 00:11:21,834 --> 00:11:24,337 What did you say the name of this acting class was again? 298 00:11:24,378 --> 00:11:25,838 Method One Clinic. 299 00:11:25,879 --> 00:11:27,399 Okay, I'm gonna go get coffee. 300 00:11:27,423 --> 00:11:30,550 Garden Grove Method One Clinic. 301 00:11:30,592 --> 00:11:32,428 And Tobias found himself captivated 302 00:11:32,470 --> 00:11:34,096 by one of the monologues. 303 00:11:34,138 --> 00:11:36,807 And I made it in that movie, the Fantastic Four, 304 00:11:36,849 --> 00:11:39,685 uh, but it wasn't fantastic for me. 305 00:11:39,726 --> 00:11:41,645 Uh, I got carried away. 306 00:11:41,687 --> 00:11:44,231 And I'm like, "This (bleep) is (bleep) up, 307 00:11:44,273 --> 00:11:46,692 "and I've got to get my (bleep) together 308 00:11:46,733 --> 00:11:48,819 or I'm gonna be (bleep), too." 309 00:11:48,861 --> 00:11:51,322 Anyways, now I'm sober, and I'm trying. 310 00:11:51,364 --> 00:11:53,199 It's... super hard. 311 00:11:54,741 --> 00:11:56,243 Thank you. Thank you. 312 00:11:56,285 --> 00:11:58,536 It was a devastating and personal story. 313 00:11:58,578 --> 00:12:00,247 Okay, notes: 314 00:12:00,289 --> 00:12:02,416 um, first of all, it seemed you were slurring a bit there, 315 00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,918 and I just think you'd have so much more fun 316 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,420 punching those... those words. 317 00:12:06,462 --> 00:12:07,838 Get it out there. 318 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,548 "This (bleep) is (bleep) up, sir." 319 00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:12,550 I'm-I'm sorry. I'm not familiar with the piece, so... 320 00:12:12,592 --> 00:12:14,470 No, no, that's it. 321 00:12:14,512 --> 00:12:18,224 But I am familiar with your work in the Fantastic Four, however. 322 00:12:18,265 --> 00:12:20,142 - You've seen that? - Of course I have. 323 00:12:20,184 --> 00:12:22,269 20 years earlier, DeBrie Bardeaux 324 00:12:22,311 --> 00:12:24,480 had played Sue Storm in the low-budget version 325 00:12:24,522 --> 00:12:27,525 of the Fantastic Four, produced by Imagine Entertainment, 326 00:12:27,565 --> 00:12:29,527 when, during Imagine's Christmas party, 327 00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:32,488 a drunk lawyer reminded them they'd lose the rights 328 00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:35,741 if they didn't make the film in the next six days. 329 00:12:35,782 --> 00:12:40,413 After a two-hour search, they found their entire cast. 330 00:12:40,454 --> 00:12:43,541 They also proved useful six days later at the wrap party. 331 00:12:43,581 --> 00:12:46,584 I almost never get recognized as the Invisible Girl. 332 00:12:46,626 --> 00:12:48,254 I can't believe you saw me. 333 00:12:48,295 --> 00:12:51,048 Well, I-I thought it was "fantastic." 334 00:12:51,090 --> 00:12:53,133 Actually, most of the performance 335 00:12:53,175 --> 00:12:54,718 that had so captivated Tobias... 336 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,512 Hey, maybe she came into this Light Bulbs Unlimited. 337 00:12:56,554 --> 00:12:58,180 She was here a minute ago. 338 00:12:58,222 --> 00:13:00,266 ...was performed by a fishing line. 339 00:13:00,307 --> 00:13:02,518 This is the gayest Starbucks ever! 340 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:04,562 Did his fishing line break, too? 341 00:13:04,602 --> 00:13:07,022 Well, my acting career is over. 342 00:13:07,064 --> 00:13:10,317 Oh, don't say that. You've got to say, "Keep the dream alive." 343 00:13:10,359 --> 00:13:11,735 That's what helps me. 344 00:13:11,777 --> 00:13:13,611 Well, this is what's helping me. 345 00:13:13,653 --> 00:13:15,739 - Oh. - It's really good. 346 00:13:15,781 --> 00:13:17,783 Carl Weathers used to give us grape juice. 347 00:13:17,824 --> 00:13:20,244 But then he'd add five dollars to our credit card. 348 00:13:20,286 --> 00:13:22,620 Well, here is to our acting addiction. 349 00:13:22,662 --> 00:13:23,621 Yep. 350 00:13:23,663 --> 00:13:25,665 May we never be cured. 351 00:13:25,707 --> 00:13:27,960 Are you crying? Oh, I'm crying. 352 00:13:28,001 --> 00:13:30,670 Oh, it's a nosebleed. 353 00:13:32,256 --> 00:13:34,467 Oh, thank you so much. 354 00:13:34,508 --> 00:13:36,594 Tobias had found a friend. 355 00:13:36,634 --> 00:13:38,137 - You're neat! - You're neat. 356 00:13:38,178 --> 00:13:39,555 You're neat. 357 00:13:39,597 --> 00:13:41,056 You're neat. 358 00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:45,727 And after a not-very-cute meet-cute, 359 00:13:45,769 --> 00:13:48,272 Tobias continued to find DeBrie's behavior delightful, 360 00:13:48,314 --> 00:13:50,274 even when the methadone made her think 361 00:13:50,316 --> 00:13:53,277 she was a piece of toast. 362 00:13:53,319 --> 00:13:55,279 There, now I can see 363 00:13:55,321 --> 00:13:58,240 a pretty face under all that butter substitute. 364 00:13:58,282 --> 00:14:00,326 And I recognize you from somewhere, 365 00:14:00,367 --> 00:14:04,037 but it's not the Fantastic Four; it's from somewhere else. 366 00:14:04,079 --> 00:14:06,499 I've done some things I'm not proud of. 367 00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:08,083 Episodics? Been there. 368 00:14:08,125 --> 00:14:11,044 It wasn't episodic. 369 00:14:11,086 --> 00:14:12,588 She had been in a series 370 00:14:12,630 --> 00:14:14,047 of soft-core porn movies about women 371 00:14:14,089 --> 00:14:15,882 leading straight men into gay sex, 372 00:14:15,924 --> 00:14:18,135 - called Straight Bait. - This is my brother. He's gay. 373 00:14:18,177 --> 00:14:19,719 If you want to have sex with me, 374 00:14:19,761 --> 00:14:21,763 then you've got to have sex with him first. 375 00:14:21,805 --> 00:14:25,142 And if you don't want to have sex with her, you must be gay. 376 00:14:25,184 --> 00:14:27,353 I'll show you how not gay I am. 377 00:14:30,272 --> 00:14:32,316 She did six of these movies, 378 00:14:32,358 --> 00:14:35,277 and after lunch, did three more. 379 00:14:35,319 --> 00:14:37,029 It's nice to be recognized though. 380 00:14:37,070 --> 00:14:38,822 Marky Bark-- sometimes he doesn't know 381 00:14:38,864 --> 00:14:40,907 when I'm in the same room. 382 00:14:40,949 --> 00:14:42,284 And sometimes it feels like 383 00:14:42,326 --> 00:14:43,846 it's not the face blindness, you know? 384 00:14:43,869 --> 00:14:45,829 It's the same with me and Lindsay. 385 00:14:45,871 --> 00:14:48,207 I know she's trying, but she doesn't believe 386 00:14:48,248 --> 00:14:50,209 in my acting career. 387 00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:52,961 Maybe she's right. I've yet to make more money as an actor 388 00:14:53,003 --> 00:14:55,005 than I ever did as a doctor. 389 00:14:55,047 --> 00:14:56,840 And that's with Country-Wide behind me. 390 00:14:56,882 --> 00:14:59,051 You're... wait, you're a doctor? You can write scripts? 391 00:14:59,092 --> 00:15:01,011 Well, I like to think so. 392 00:15:01,053 --> 00:15:04,390 You should never give up a dream if you can write scripts. 393 00:15:04,431 --> 00:15:07,393 You seem like you'd be a good doctor/actor. 394 00:15:07,434 --> 00:15:09,728 It was the first positive reinforcement 395 00:15:09,769 --> 00:15:11,855 Tobias had had since India. 396 00:15:11,897 --> 00:15:15,484 You remind me of Billy Crystal... Mmm, mmm! 397 00:15:15,526 --> 00:15:18,195 It would have broken Tobias's heart if he knew 398 00:15:18,237 --> 00:15:20,364 she was about to say "Billy Crystal Meth," 399 00:15:20,406 --> 00:15:21,823 a funny drug dealer. 400 00:15:21,865 --> 00:15:25,369 Uh, I... got a bit carried away 401 00:15:25,411 --> 00:15:27,663 when you compared me to Billy Crystal. 402 00:15:27,705 --> 00:15:30,207 You remind me of Billy Crystal... 403 00:15:30,249 --> 00:15:33,793 Once again, she was going to say "Billy Crystal Meth." 404 00:15:33,835 --> 00:15:36,547 I'm sorry, but, DeBrie, I-I've never met anyone 405 00:15:36,589 --> 00:15:38,424 who understands me like you do. 406 00:15:38,465 --> 00:15:40,634 - Or at all. - Maybe, with someone like you, 407 00:15:40,676 --> 00:15:42,302 I could have a new start. 408 00:15:42,344 --> 00:15:45,764 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 409 00:15:45,805 --> 00:15:49,476 Did you see my license plate-- "A-N-U-S-T-A-R-T"? 410 00:15:49,518 --> 00:15:52,062 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 411 00:15:52,104 --> 00:15:55,815 Did you see my Straight Bait movie of the same name? 412 00:15:55,857 --> 00:15:58,193 Coincidence. 413 00:15:58,235 --> 00:15:59,737 We should be together. 414 00:15:59,778 --> 00:16:01,154 We should run away. 415 00:16:02,615 --> 00:16:03,865 Oh, my gosh. 416 00:16:03,907 --> 00:16:05,534 Well, this is happening so fast. 417 00:16:05,576 --> 00:16:07,119 Well, what do I do about Lindsay? 418 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,913 I mean, can I just improv my way out of a marriage? 419 00:16:10,956 --> 00:16:14,501 Yes, and... let's do this. 420 00:16:14,543 --> 00:16:15,586 Blackout. 421 00:16:15,628 --> 00:16:17,254 Unaware that a similar 422 00:16:17,296 --> 00:16:19,798 off-menu swap had just occurred at Swappigans, 423 00:16:19,839 --> 00:16:21,383 Tobias broke the news 424 00:16:21,425 --> 00:16:23,761 that he was leaving Lindsay in a phone call. 425 00:16:23,802 --> 00:16:25,262 ...for I have met someone. 426 00:16:25,304 --> 00:16:26,888 It's not important who it is. 427 00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:28,474 It's Sue Storm. 428 00:16:28,515 --> 00:16:30,643 I'm so sorry, but DeBrie believes in me, 429 00:16:30,684 --> 00:16:32,603 and she stopped my heart, too. 430 00:16:32,645 --> 00:16:35,689 If you're wondering what "too" referred to, it was this: 431 00:16:35,731 --> 00:16:37,023 Let's do this. 432 00:16:37,065 --> 00:16:38,525 Blackout. 433 00:16:38,567 --> 00:16:40,736 And scene, as they say. 434 00:16:40,778 --> 00:16:42,139 Her heart stopped! She-She's dying! 435 00:16:42,154 --> 00:16:44,615 Please, someone! She had too much butter! 436 00:16:44,657 --> 00:16:46,116 - She's a very famous actress! - Someone say "butter" out here? 437 00:16:46,158 --> 00:16:47,867 Oh, my God, that's a butter face. 438 00:16:47,909 --> 00:16:50,162 - How much butter did the patient have? - I don't know. 439 00:16:50,203 --> 00:16:51,997 - A Star Trek chess set's worth. - Damn it, that Swappigans 440 00:16:52,038 --> 00:16:54,458 puts more people in this hospital. Make way, people! 441 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,709 We got a 61-year-old male 442 00:16:55,751 --> 00:16:57,169 in full cardiac arrest coming through. 443 00:16:57,210 --> 00:16:58,420 You have to wait outside, sir. 444 00:16:58,462 --> 00:16:59,713 Be careful of her face! 445 00:16:59,755 --> 00:17:01,507 She's an actress! 446 00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:04,843 It's worth noting that Tobias 447 00:17:04,884 --> 00:17:07,179 had heard this hospital in Orange County 448 00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:09,765 was a favorite of show business big shots 449 00:17:09,807 --> 00:17:11,266 seeking plastic surgery. 450 00:17:11,308 --> 00:17:13,393 We're both actors! 451 00:17:18,565 --> 00:17:20,526 On the day of Lucille's trial, 452 00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:22,820 Tobias was in a hospital with a woman 453 00:17:22,861 --> 00:17:25,531 he'd both fallen for and had rushed into an ICU. 454 00:17:25,572 --> 00:17:28,283 See? Makeup makes everyone feel a little better. 455 00:17:28,325 --> 00:17:29,785 You didn't leave me. 456 00:17:29,827 --> 00:17:31,704 Everybody leaves me. 457 00:17:31,745 --> 00:17:35,499 I've been left in Dumpsters and on a curb and... 458 00:17:35,541 --> 00:17:37,042 Oh, I wouldn't dream of it. 459 00:17:37,083 --> 00:17:39,461 Excuse me. Could you, uh, leave us alone for... 460 00:17:39,503 --> 00:17:41,213 - Yeah, absolutely, yes. - Thank you. 461 00:17:41,254 --> 00:17:43,507 Oh, no, I-I'd like him to-to stay. 462 00:17:43,549 --> 00:17:44,591 - Really? - Yeah. 463 00:17:44,633 --> 00:17:45,592 Okay. 464 00:17:45,634 --> 00:17:46,885 I'm afraid that you have 465 00:17:46,926 --> 00:17:48,804 tested positive for chlamydia, syphilis, 466 00:17:48,846 --> 00:17:50,263 gonorrhea, hepatitis, pancreatitis, 467 00:17:50,305 --> 00:17:53,600 trichomonitis, nongonococcal urethritis. 468 00:17:53,642 --> 00:17:56,562 All the itises, really, and there's also 469 00:17:56,603 --> 00:17:57,813 a host of osises. 470 00:17:57,855 --> 00:17:59,565 Now, what this means in nonmedical terms 471 00:17:59,606 --> 00:18:02,526 is that you have landed, uh, a real party girl. 472 00:18:02,568 --> 00:18:04,444 Well, will she be okay? 473 00:18:04,486 --> 00:18:06,154 Well, we can treat all of these things, 474 00:18:06,196 --> 00:18:07,823 but if she's really gonna be okay, 475 00:18:07,865 --> 00:18:09,825 uh, she's gonna have to tackle this drug problem. 476 00:18:09,867 --> 00:18:12,077 You didn't tell me you had a drug problem. 477 00:18:12,118 --> 00:18:14,287 We met at a methadone clinic. 478 00:18:14,329 --> 00:18:15,288 Are you high? 479 00:18:15,330 --> 00:18:16,749 We met at an acting class. 480 00:18:16,790 --> 00:18:18,500 The Method One... 481 00:18:18,542 --> 00:18:21,211 There it is. I'm gonna let you guys, uh, hash this out. 482 00:18:21,253 --> 00:18:23,296 I guess I shouldn't have lied about being clean 483 00:18:23,338 --> 00:18:26,550 when I took that methadone, but I'll do better this time. 484 00:18:26,592 --> 00:18:27,885 Or are you gonna leave me 485 00:18:27,926 --> 00:18:30,095 now that you know that I'm a druggie? 486 00:18:30,136 --> 00:18:33,432 DeBrie, look, some people struggle with addiction, 487 00:18:33,473 --> 00:18:36,059 other people are incapable of ever being nude. 488 00:18:36,101 --> 00:18:37,603 Everybody has something. 489 00:18:37,644 --> 00:18:40,647 And it's my professional opinion that your drug use 490 00:18:40,689 --> 00:18:44,610 is a direct result of your abandoning your dream of acting. 491 00:18:44,651 --> 00:18:46,403 You are a gifted actress. 492 00:18:46,445 --> 00:18:48,405 When I first saw Straight Bait, 493 00:18:48,447 --> 00:18:49,740 there were two men making love, 494 00:18:49,782 --> 00:18:51,784 but I couldn't take my eyes off of you. 495 00:18:51,825 --> 00:18:53,535 You watched Straight Bait? 496 00:18:53,577 --> 00:18:55,078 Oh, just2, 4and9. 497 00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:57,497 You were with a guy who didn't care about you. 498 00:18:57,539 --> 00:19:00,751 But stick with me, and I'll make you famous. 499 00:19:00,793 --> 00:19:04,504 By cashing in on your most celebrated role. 500 00:19:04,546 --> 00:19:05,672 Come one, come all! 501 00:19:05,714 --> 00:19:08,133 Get your photo taken with Sue Storm 502 00:19:08,174 --> 00:19:09,635 from the Fantastic Four! 503 00:19:09,676 --> 00:19:11,261 Hey, is that Jessica Alba? 504 00:19:11,303 --> 00:19:14,180 No, this is the original Sue Storm, DeBrie Bardeaux! 505 00:19:14,222 --> 00:19:16,099 - Who? - The original Sue Storm, 506 00:19:16,141 --> 00:19:17,726 DeBrie Bardeaux. She-- No, no! 507 00:19:17,768 --> 00:19:18,727 No free pictures, kids! 508 00:19:18,769 --> 00:19:19,728 No, no, scram! 509 00:19:19,770 --> 00:19:20,771 Get out of here! Go! 510 00:19:20,813 --> 00:19:22,105 Go, get out of here. 511 00:19:22,147 --> 00:19:23,649 I don't think this is working. 512 00:19:23,690 --> 00:19:26,025 Maybe I need to get a regular job. 513 00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:28,194 I do have a law degree. 514 00:19:28,236 --> 00:19:30,071 I know, I know, and I'm a doctor. 515 00:19:30,113 --> 00:19:32,031 But no, let's not settle. 516 00:19:32,073 --> 00:19:34,033 Look, it's the Fantastic Four. 517 00:19:34,075 --> 00:19:36,578 No one recognizes one alone. 518 00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:37,955 I've got an idea. 519 00:19:37,996 --> 00:19:40,081 Ten dollars gets you a picture with 520 00:19:40,123 --> 00:19:41,333 real Hollywood characters! 521 00:19:41,374 --> 00:19:42,542 What do you say? Ten dollars. 522 00:19:42,584 --> 00:19:43,543 That's certainly cheap. 523 00:19:43,585 --> 00:19:45,796 Oh! Hello, young man, 524 00:19:45,838 --> 00:19:48,089 and his... uncle? Neighbor? 525 00:19:48,131 --> 00:19:49,382 Father. 526 00:19:49,424 --> 00:19:50,676 Oh! That's terrific. 527 00:19:50,717 --> 00:19:52,093 Well, how would you like 528 00:19:52,135 --> 00:19:53,470 to have your picture taken 529 00:19:53,512 --> 00:19:56,348 with real Hollywood movie land characters? 530 00:19:56,389 --> 00:19:57,766 Are you the Smurfs? 531 00:19:57,808 --> 00:19:59,351 No, no, no. 532 00:19:59,392 --> 00:20:00,936 They're the Ambiguously Gay Duo. 533 00:20:00,978 --> 00:20:02,270 Oh, I assure you, 534 00:20:02,312 --> 00:20:04,105 there's nothing ambiguous about me. 535 00:20:04,147 --> 00:20:06,399 I'm Johnny Storm, the human flamer. 536 00:20:06,441 --> 00:20:10,236 And this is Sue Storm, my sister and fellow fighter-in-law. 537 00:20:10,278 --> 00:20:12,405 Now watch as I get-- no, I have special effects! 538 00:20:12,447 --> 00:20:14,282 Look, children love fire. 539 00:20:14,324 --> 00:20:15,325 Oh. 540 00:20:15,367 --> 00:20:16,326 This isn't working either. 541 00:20:16,368 --> 00:20:17,995 You're right. 542 00:20:18,036 --> 00:20:20,455 Two people in blue doesn't say Fantastic Four. 543 00:20:20,497 --> 00:20:22,165 You know what though? 544 00:20:22,207 --> 00:20:24,250 I think I may have just the thing. 545 00:20:24,292 --> 00:20:25,460 Oh? 546 00:20:25,502 --> 00:20:27,546 Just "the thing." 547 00:20:27,587 --> 00:20:29,006 Cut to... 548 00:20:29,047 --> 00:20:31,591 Now that I'm the iconic rock man The Thing, 549 00:20:31,633 --> 00:20:33,218 no one will misunderstand. 550 00:20:33,259 --> 00:20:35,971 I'm sure the Blues Brothers here will know who we are. 551 00:20:36,013 --> 00:20:37,848 Excuse me, are you Sue Storm and The Thing? 552 00:20:37,890 --> 00:20:39,683 Oh, who's smart now? 553 00:20:39,725 --> 00:20:41,393 Indeed we are. 554 00:20:41,434 --> 00:20:43,520 In fact, they were orthodox members of the law firm 555 00:20:43,562 --> 00:20:46,231 Feinberg, Feinberg, Feinberg & Feinberg. 556 00:20:46,272 --> 00:20:48,984 We represent Stan Lee and Marvel Enterprises. 557 00:20:49,026 --> 00:20:50,652 This is a cease and desist 558 00:20:50,694 --> 00:20:52,445 ordering you to stop impersonating 559 00:20:52,487 --> 00:20:54,113 any of our trademark characters. 560 00:20:54,155 --> 00:20:55,615 Oh, let me take a look at that. 561 00:20:55,657 --> 00:20:56,700 I have a law degree. 562 00:20:56,742 --> 00:20:57,910 No, DeBrie, I've got this. 563 00:20:57,951 --> 00:21:00,119 Mr. Feinberg? 564 00:21:00,161 --> 00:21:01,788 Uh, would it change your mind 565 00:21:01,830 --> 00:21:05,876 if I offered you a free Sue Storm armband? 566 00:21:05,918 --> 00:21:07,794 It did not change his mind. 567 00:21:07,836 --> 00:21:10,547 And although the hate crime charges were dismissed, 568 00:21:10,589 --> 00:21:12,298 they were told they could not continue 569 00:21:12,340 --> 00:21:13,800 to pose as the Fantastic Four. 570 00:21:13,842 --> 00:21:16,553 Can they really make us leave Hollywood Boulevard? 571 00:21:16,595 --> 00:21:19,681 Well, apparently in this instance, paper beats rock. 572 00:21:19,723 --> 00:21:20,682 You have a rock? 573 00:21:20,724 --> 00:21:23,018 No, I am your rock now. 574 00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:24,061 Oh. 575 00:21:24,102 --> 00:21:25,228 So what are we gonna do 576 00:21:25,270 --> 00:21:26,939 now that we don't have the rights? 577 00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:28,732 Well, we just go off-brand. 578 00:21:28,774 --> 00:21:32,318 Uh, we'll just change the names and do a cheap generic knockoff. 579 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,112 Kids don't care. 580 00:21:34,153 --> 00:21:35,864 Tobias took them down to a street 581 00:21:35,906 --> 00:21:38,575 near Harbor Boulevard, where his friend Gary Goose 582 00:21:38,617 --> 00:21:40,159 told him they didn't police very much. 583 00:21:40,201 --> 00:21:42,081 Rock Monster and Ability to Be Invisible Person. 584 00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:43,705 Hello, young man. What brings you 585 00:21:43,747 --> 00:21:46,666 to at least 500 feet past the entrance of Disneyland? 586 00:21:46,708 --> 00:21:47,834 Dad, can I get my picture taken 587 00:21:47,876 --> 00:21:49,002 with The Thing and Invisible Girl? 588 00:21:49,044 --> 00:21:50,545 They're the Fantastic Four. 589 00:21:50,587 --> 00:21:52,547 Well, actually, technically, I'm Rock Monster, 590 00:21:52,589 --> 00:21:54,883 and this is Ability to Be Invisible Person. 591 00:21:54,925 --> 00:21:56,802 - Hey, you guys want the ten dollars or not? - Yeah. 592 00:21:56,843 --> 00:21:58,344 - Uh... - Yeah, yeah. 593 00:21:58,386 --> 00:22:00,055 Yes. Okay. 594 00:22:00,097 --> 00:22:02,641 We're The Thing and the Invisible Girl. 595 00:22:02,682 --> 00:22:03,767 - You're under arrest. - What? 596 00:22:03,809 --> 00:22:05,310 Boom. Turn around. 597 00:22:05,351 --> 00:22:06,686 - Let's go. - I didn't... 598 00:22:06,728 --> 00:22:08,105 - Let's go. Get up there. - Oh! Oh! 599 00:22:08,146 --> 00:22:09,898 Come on. 600 00:22:09,940 --> 00:22:11,900 - Oh, come on, now. - No, no, no. 601 00:22:11,942 --> 00:22:14,319 We're not gonna kill him, we're just gonna handcuff him. 602 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:15,946 You can't shoot us 'cause it's not a felony. 603 00:22:15,988 --> 00:22:18,073 Keep your eyes on her. I'll be right back. 604 00:22:18,115 --> 00:22:20,075 Okay. 605 00:22:22,494 --> 00:22:23,787 If it happens again, 606 00:22:23,829 --> 00:22:25,914 you know, it will be a third strike. 607 00:22:25,956 --> 00:22:27,624 Three-strikes law's up for review in the appellate courts, 608 00:22:27,666 --> 00:22:28,959 but we really shouldn't be charging. 609 00:22:29,001 --> 00:22:30,710 I know of a street in Garden Grove 610 00:22:30,752 --> 00:22:32,712 - where they don't police very much. - Okay. 611 00:22:32,754 --> 00:22:34,255 Things were looking down. 612 00:22:34,297 --> 00:22:36,925 And over the following weeks, 613 00:22:36,967 --> 00:22:38,760 their financial situation grew dire enough 614 00:22:38,802 --> 00:22:40,053 for this to happen. 615 00:22:40,095 --> 00:22:41,972 We're broke. 616 00:22:42,014 --> 00:22:43,932 But you can't sell your Fantastic Four costume. 617 00:22:43,974 --> 00:22:45,308 I mean, that would be like a fisherman 618 00:22:45,350 --> 00:22:47,352 selling his fishing costume. 619 00:22:47,393 --> 00:22:49,604 No, I was gonna have sex with him. 620 00:22:49,646 --> 00:22:51,188 For money. 621 00:22:51,230 --> 00:22:52,899 What? No. Put that back on. 622 00:22:52,941 --> 00:22:54,901 You don't have to degrade yourself this way. 623 00:22:54,943 --> 00:22:57,070 Hey, I'm not a thing. 624 00:22:57,112 --> 00:22:59,322 Hey, I am a Thing. 625 00:22:59,364 --> 00:23:01,908 And so, with no other options, Tobias returned 626 00:23:01,950 --> 00:23:03,409 to his in-laws' penthouse, 627 00:23:03,451 --> 00:23:06,371 desperate enough to ransack the place, 628 00:23:06,412 --> 00:23:09,332 when it appeared someone had beaten him to it. 629 00:23:09,374 --> 00:23:11,168 Michael. 630 00:23:11,208 --> 00:23:12,878 No, George Michael. 631 00:23:12,919 --> 00:23:14,796 Somebody, help! 632 00:23:14,838 --> 00:23:16,715 And that's when he heard what sounded like two ostriches 633 00:23:16,756 --> 00:23:18,842 making love to a pop hit. 634 00:23:18,884 --> 00:23:20,552 But was actually this. 635 00:23:20,593 --> 00:23:24,097 ♪ Why don't you go away, go away ♪ 636 00:23:24,139 --> 00:23:25,640 ♪ Get away, get away ♪ 637 00:23:25,682 --> 00:23:27,600 ♪ Stay away ♪ 638 00:23:27,642 --> 00:23:30,187 ♪ You're hopelessly hopeless... ♪ 639 00:23:30,227 --> 00:23:32,605 Good bird. 640 00:23:34,231 --> 00:23:35,650 Stop it, chicken! 641 00:23:35,692 --> 00:23:37,861 Somebody help! 642 00:23:37,903 --> 00:23:39,071 Lucille 2! 643 00:23:39,112 --> 00:23:40,906 Help! Help! Kevin, give me a hand! 644 00:23:40,947 --> 00:23:42,448 Get Dr. Bowman or Alicia. 645 00:23:42,490 --> 00:23:43,825 Either one. 646 00:23:43,867 --> 00:23:45,994 This woman's been attacked by an ostrich! 647 00:23:46,036 --> 00:23:47,954 Ah, Tobias got a new girlfriend. 648 00:23:52,792 --> 00:23:54,460 Tobias had acted like an actual superhero 649 00:23:54,502 --> 00:23:55,587 - and saved Lucille 2. - There's my hero. 650 00:23:55,628 --> 00:23:57,089 You know, the doctor said 651 00:23:57,130 --> 00:23:58,381 if that bird had gotten through 652 00:23:58,423 --> 00:24:00,341 my second layer of makeup, it could've done 653 00:24:00,383 --> 00:24:01,593 permanent damage to my skin. 654 00:24:01,634 --> 00:24:03,344 And I want to repay you. 655 00:24:03,386 --> 00:24:06,014 You're a doctor, and you're out of work. 656 00:24:06,056 --> 00:24:07,933 - Well... - How would you like to come work for me, 657 00:24:07,974 --> 00:24:09,392 at Austerity? 658 00:24:09,434 --> 00:24:11,436 The rehab center? That's yours? 659 00:24:11,477 --> 00:24:13,479 Well, my brother Argyle runs it day to day. 660 00:24:13,521 --> 00:24:14,689 But we are so understaffed. 661 00:24:14,731 --> 00:24:16,191 You'd be such a gift. 662 00:24:16,233 --> 00:24:19,276 It would only pay 120 grand a year to start. 663 00:24:19,318 --> 00:24:21,529 Tobias, whose girlfriend had nearly 664 00:24:21,571 --> 00:24:23,949 sold her body for money in front of him, 665 00:24:23,990 --> 00:24:27,202 knew that everyone at some time has to face reality. 666 00:24:31,372 --> 00:24:33,374 - But that this wasn't the time. - No. 667 00:24:33,416 --> 00:24:35,127 - You turned it down?! - Uh-huh. 668 00:24:35,168 --> 00:24:38,004 I almost a guy for a hamburger, 669 00:24:38,046 --> 00:24:40,924 and you turned down $120, 000 a year? 670 00:24:40,966 --> 00:24:43,384 To keep our dream alive, yes, I did. 671 00:24:43,426 --> 00:24:45,137 I thought you'd be proud of me. 672 00:24:45,178 --> 00:24:47,055 After all, a doctor in India 673 00:24:47,097 --> 00:24:49,641 told me that I have the gift to make people laugh. 674 00:24:49,682 --> 00:24:51,308 Why are you crying? 675 00:24:51,350 --> 00:24:53,394 You're worse than Marky. 676 00:24:53,436 --> 00:24:57,398 He couldn't see me, but you can't hear me. 677 00:24:59,442 --> 00:25:01,903 The setback sent an emotionally fragile DeBrie 678 00:25:01,945 --> 00:25:04,614 back to her old ways. 679 00:25:04,656 --> 00:25:07,200 And before long, she was picked up by a limo 680 00:25:07,242 --> 00:25:08,952 for a night of being passed around 681 00:25:08,994 --> 00:25:11,412 amongst Hollywood creeps. 682 00:25:11,454 --> 00:25:15,458 For three weeks, Tobias waited, hoping DeBrie would return. 683 00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:18,670 Perhaps it was the morning he awoke to find 684 00:25:18,711 --> 00:25:20,255 two bums using him as a pillow 685 00:25:20,297 --> 00:25:22,465 that he realized she wasn't coming back. 686 00:25:22,507 --> 00:25:24,050 Who are you supposed to be? 687 00:25:24,092 --> 00:25:26,552 Oh, I'm The Thing from Fantastic Four. 688 00:25:26,594 --> 00:25:29,555 You've been served, (bleep). 689 00:25:29,597 --> 00:25:32,142 Oh, (bleep) me. 690 00:25:32,184 --> 00:25:33,977 Are you undercover as well? 691 00:25:34,019 --> 00:25:35,937 I'm CIA. Not here for you though. 692 00:25:35,979 --> 00:25:38,315 Scoping out Imagine Entertainment. 693 00:25:38,355 --> 00:25:40,733 So, with nowhere to go... 694 00:25:40,775 --> 00:25:42,443 Thought I'd try you again. 695 00:25:42,485 --> 00:25:44,154 ...and no one to help him out of his rock suit... 696 00:25:44,196 --> 00:25:46,281 Honey, you read comic books, yes? 697 00:25:46,323 --> 00:25:47,824 ...he went to see if his daughter 698 00:25:47,866 --> 00:25:50,327 would give him a place to stay. 699 00:25:54,914 --> 00:25:57,667 Now the fun begins, right, Officer Three? 700 00:25:57,709 --> 00:25:59,544 I'll say. 701 00:25:59,585 --> 00:26:02,130 ...and why and how. Who, what, when, where, why and how. 702 00:26:03,548 --> 00:26:06,301 Is there a little girl here all by herself? 703 00:26:06,343 --> 00:26:08,636 And perhaps it was this that would finally 704 00:26:08,678 --> 00:26:11,223 get him to admit that he sometimes did speak 705 00:26:11,264 --> 00:26:12,932 in a misleading way. 706 00:26:12,974 --> 00:26:15,768 Daddy needs to get his rocks off. 707 00:26:20,690 --> 00:26:23,235 On the next To Entrap a Local Predator... 708 00:26:23,276 --> 00:26:25,237 I'll be down in a minute. 709 00:26:25,278 --> 00:26:27,030 Have some lemonade. 710 00:26:27,072 --> 00:26:28,823 Predator gets its first rock-solid case. 711 00:26:28,865 --> 00:26:31,534 Pretty good lemonade, huh? 712 00:26:31,576 --> 00:26:32,827 It is. 713 00:26:32,869 --> 00:26:34,537 Is there alcohol in here-- John Beard! 714 00:26:34,579 --> 00:26:35,538 Please, have a seat. 715 00:26:35,580 --> 00:26:36,539 Okay. 716 00:26:36,581 --> 00:26:37,707 Why are you here? 717 00:26:37,749 --> 00:26:39,125 I'm here to see my little girl. 718 00:26:39,167 --> 00:26:41,378 I wanted to show her Daddy's Thing. 719 00:26:41,418 --> 00:26:42,712 What are you doing here? 720 00:26:42,754 --> 00:26:45,506 I'm doing a, um, a local interest piece. 721 00:26:45,548 --> 00:26:46,507 Mm. 722 00:26:46,549 --> 00:26:47,592 Okay, get in there, boys. 723 00:26:47,633 --> 00:26:49,302 Oh, really local. 724 00:26:49,344 --> 00:26:50,345 That's right, yeah. 725 00:26:50,387 --> 00:26:51,428 Is this about my daughter? 726 00:26:51,470 --> 00:26:52,597 Oh, so it's your daughter 727 00:26:52,638 --> 00:26:54,307 - you're here to see? - Yes. 728 00:26:55,058 --> 00:26:56,433 Maeby. 729 00:26:56,475 --> 00:26:58,311 If he's got a daughter, then how old is she? 730 00:26:58,353 --> 00:26:59,436 Let me ask you this. 731 00:26:59,478 --> 00:27:00,437 How old is she? 732 00:27:00,479 --> 00:27:02,481 Oh. 733 00:27:02,523 --> 00:27:04,359 Why do you put me on the spot? 734 00:27:04,401 --> 00:27:07,279 Um, I want to say 19? 735 00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,864 But I like to think of her as 15. 736 00:27:09,906 --> 00:27:10,907 Well, you're free to go. 737 00:27:10,949 --> 00:27:12,533 She's not here. 738 00:27:12,575 --> 00:27:14,255 But this creep won't take "go" 739 00:27:14,286 --> 00:27:15,703 - for an answer. - Oh, that's all right. 740 00:27:15,745 --> 00:27:17,289 I'll stay, I'll wait. 741 00:27:17,330 --> 00:27:19,291 And this creep makes himself right at home. 742 00:27:19,332 --> 00:27:21,293 - Give me just a minute. - He's not leaving. 743 00:27:21,334 --> 00:27:23,253 - He's not leaving. - He's not leaving. 744 00:27:23,295 --> 00:27:25,171 Tell him there's a raccoon in the backyard. 745 00:27:25,213 --> 00:27:26,756 Hey, guess what. 746 00:27:26,798 --> 00:27:28,549 There's a raccoon out on the patio! 747 00:27:28,591 --> 00:27:29,617 Bull (bleep). 748 00:27:29,737 --> 00:27:30,907 Where is that little guy? 749 00:27:31,027 --> 00:27:33,805 And this guy turns out to be a real comedian. 750 00:27:34,755 --> 00:27:36,530 I just broke my skull in a fourth place: 751 00:27:36,650 --> 00:27:38,134 the patio! 752 00:27:38,254 --> 00:27:41,179 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 54847

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.