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1
00:00:18,399 --> 00:00:19,765
Oh, my God.
2
00:00:20,337 --> 00:00:24,242
From up here,
Point Place looks just like Paris.
3
00:00:26,581 --> 00:00:28,642
You think that looks like Paris?
4
00:00:29,187 --> 00:00:31,919
God, no wonder
you think Kelso could be a model.
5
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,388
Whoa, I could so be a model.
6
00:00:37,369 --> 00:00:39,805
Come on, man.
Shut up and just keep painting.
7
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,206
It's done!
8
00:00:43,246 --> 00:00:45,045
Gentlemen, we have finally done it.
9
00:00:45,117 --> 00:00:47,314
A pot leaf on the water tower.
10
00:00:52,431 --> 00:00:55,129
This is the proudest moment of my life.
11
00:00:57,607 --> 00:01:00,738
It doesn't look like a pot leaf.
What?
12
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,550
It looks like a hand giving the finger.
13
00:01:06,223 --> 00:01:09,286
It doesn't have to look perfect, Hyde.
It's art.
14
00:01:09,663 --> 00:01:11,462
Get up and make it better.
15
00:01:12,502 --> 00:01:13,595
Fine.
16
00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:19,043
Just, yeah,
make it wider right up there.
17
00:01:19,115 --> 00:01:22,178
Yeah, out further, though. Yeah.
Right up there...
18
00:01:23,390 --> 00:01:24,858
My God! Michael!
19
00:01:27,430 --> 00:01:28,763
Kelso!
20
00:01:29,434 --> 00:01:30,595
Yeah?
21
00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:32,970
How's it look from down there?
22
00:01:36,314 --> 00:01:39,115
It looks like
it's giving me the finger.
23
00:01:47,101 --> 00:01:50,403
You guys, this is so stupid.
We should just take him to the hospital.
24
00:01:50,474 --> 00:01:52,341
No, Jackie, then my dad will find out.
25
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,843
Shut up.
26
00:01:56,353 --> 00:01:59,347
My mom's a nurse. I'll wake her up.
Maybe she can fix him.
27
00:01:59,425 --> 00:02:03,024
- Don't wake up Red though, he'll kill us all.
- Gee, you think?
28
00:02:12,283 --> 00:02:13,808
Red.
29
00:02:14,019 --> 00:02:15,511
Kitty.
30
00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:30,115
Okay, let's go.
31
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,153
Everybody hop in the car and let's go now.
32
00:02:34,558 --> 00:02:35,685
Where's your mom?
33
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,596
Shut up.
Don't you dare talk about my mother!
34
00:02:39,602 --> 00:02:41,731
Hanging out
35
00:02:43,308 --> 00:02:45,778
Down the street
36
00:02:47,048 --> 00:02:49,211
The same old thing
37
00:02:50,522 --> 00:02:52,651
We did last week
38
00:02:53,996 --> 00:02:57,161
Not a thing to do
39
00:02:58,036 --> 00:03:00,701
But talk to you
40
00:03:01,342 --> 00:03:03,244
Whoa, yeah
41
00:03:05,784 --> 00:03:07,777
Hello, Wisconsin!
42
00:03:14,971 --> 00:03:16,496
No. Dad.
43
00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,807
No, there is no way
this could've been avoided.
44
00:03:22,753 --> 00:03:23,914
Yes. No.
45
00:03:23,988 --> 00:03:26,823
Yeah, the cow kicked me
after I tipped it over.
46
00:03:31,603 --> 00:03:33,094
I'm not lying!
47
00:03:35,844 --> 00:03:39,077
Okay, all right, I love you, too.
48
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,323
He bought it.
49
00:03:44,861 --> 00:03:46,727
Excuse me, yes.
50
00:03:48,234 --> 00:03:51,764
My friend and I would like
our sponge baths now, please.
51
00:04:00,291 --> 00:04:02,591
- Eric, are you all right?
- They were sleeping!
52
00:04:07,237 --> 00:04:11,142
Michael, as God is my witness,
I will nurse you back to health.
53
00:04:12,614 --> 00:04:13,946
Thanks, Jackie.
54
00:04:14,350 --> 00:04:16,115
I'm in a lot of pain.
55
00:04:17,356 --> 00:04:19,485
My poor baby.
56
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:26,261
All right. That's it.
I'm going. Whoever wants a ride?
57
00:04:30,515 --> 00:04:33,281
Hey, sorry about tonight, you guys.
58
00:04:33,353 --> 00:04:34,549
Sorry? Why?
59
00:04:34,623 --> 00:04:37,287
We got to watch you fall, man.
I had a blast!
60
00:04:38,763 --> 00:04:40,289
See you, Kelso.
61
00:04:41,969 --> 00:04:45,373
Hyde is such a jerk. This is all his fault.
62
00:04:45,509 --> 00:04:47,604
What are you talking about?
63
00:04:48,415 --> 00:04:50,817
Who said the pot leaf wasn't good enough?
64
00:04:51,521 --> 00:04:52,819
Hyde did.
65
00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:55,755
And who said
you should lean out further?
66
00:04:57,265 --> 00:04:58,494
Hyde did.
67
00:04:58,768 --> 00:05:01,569
So, who made you fall off the water tower?
68
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:05,409
No, wait, Jackie, that's crazy.
Hyde's like my best friend.
69
00:05:05,815 --> 00:05:07,044
No.
70
00:05:07,117 --> 00:05:10,283
Brian Piccolo
and Gayle Sayers were best friends.
71
00:05:12,261 --> 00:05:13,695
Brian's Song.
72
00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,260
I love that movie.
73
00:05:18,873 --> 00:05:22,277
See, Michael,
Gayle held Brian's hand and cried...
74
00:05:22,347 --> 00:05:25,284
and gave him sips of cool water
in his hospital bed.
75
00:05:27,590 --> 00:05:30,390
Yeah.
So where are you now?
76
00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:33,157
In a hospital bed.
77
00:05:35,137 --> 00:05:36,697
And where's Hyde?
78
00:05:37,508 --> 00:05:41,073
He isn't giving me sips of cool water,
that's for sure!
79
00:05:42,418 --> 00:05:44,980
Well, we got vandals in this town.
80
00:05:45,891 --> 00:05:49,523
I was driving home and I saw
the water tower giving me the finger.
81
00:05:51,402 --> 00:05:55,171
Vandals you say?
Where were you last night, Eric?
82
00:05:56,912 --> 00:05:58,540
Can it, Laurie.
83
00:05:59,050 --> 00:06:01,816
Eric, you look pale. Let me see your eyes.
84
00:06:04,493 --> 00:06:06,121
Look at me.
85
00:06:13,811 --> 00:06:15,542
Do you have a fever?
86
00:06:20,725 --> 00:06:22,489
I know what you need.
87
00:06:22,561 --> 00:06:25,431
Right after breakfast,
I want you to mow the lawn.
88
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,470
The fresh air will do you good.
89
00:06:32,379 --> 00:06:34,713
Eric, is something bothering you?
90
00:06:38,759 --> 00:06:40,421
God, make it stop!
91
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:46,931
Kitty.
92
00:06:48,143 --> 00:06:49,372
Kitty.
93
00:06:50,413 --> 00:06:51,746
Kitty.
94
00:06:58,262 --> 00:06:59,458
Kitty.
95
00:07:09,918 --> 00:07:11,649
Red.
96
00:07:11,721 --> 00:07:14,021
Kitty.
97
00:07:16,664 --> 00:07:19,328
Red.
98
00:07:39,641 --> 00:07:41,269
Well, okay, now...
99
00:07:41,645 --> 00:07:44,081
so far Eric is nine out of ten.
100
00:07:44,985 --> 00:07:47,820
He's got bloodshot eyes, mood swings...
101
00:07:47,890 --> 00:07:50,190
irregular appetite, odd sleeping patterns.
102
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,858
Red, our Johnny is high.
103
00:07:55,604 --> 00:07:59,704
Kitty, that's nonsense. He's not on drugs...
104
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,648
he's just weird.
105
00:08:12,269 --> 00:08:13,670
Morning.
106
00:08:17,981 --> 00:08:19,142
Hungry?
107
00:08:21,321 --> 00:08:24,190
I overslept. I'm late for school.
108
00:08:24,492 --> 00:08:25,825
It's...
109
00:08:26,864 --> 00:08:27,922
Bye.
110
00:08:32,842 --> 00:08:34,573
That kid's on dope.
111
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,349
I'll say. It's Sunday.
112
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:54,484
Boy, these after school specials
are thrilling.
113
00:08:54,763 --> 00:08:57,997
I mean, who knew it takes only one beer...
114
00:08:58,069 --> 00:09:00,403
to turn a cheerleader into a whore?
115
00:09:05,684 --> 00:09:08,746
You know, Fez, this show
contains an important message.
116
00:09:08,822 --> 00:09:11,487
That very thing happened
to a good friend of mine.
117
00:09:11,561 --> 00:09:12,756
Really?
118
00:09:16,805 --> 00:09:18,364
May I ask who?
119
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,274
Man, that is one drunk, slutty cheerleader.
120
00:09:26,155 --> 00:09:30,562
- There go her pom poms.
- All right, that is quite enough!
121
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:33,632
Everywhere I look now it's sex, sex, sex.
It's disgusting...
122
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:36,766
and I, for one,
will not have it in my basement!
123
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,208
Eric, what's wrong with you?
124
00:09:40,282 --> 00:09:43,846
Well, excuse me, Donna,
for having a little moral fiber.
125
00:09:48,231 --> 00:09:51,897
I'm going to go check on Michael.
Yeah, how's he doing?
126
00:09:51,971 --> 00:09:55,911
Yeah, like you care.
Why don't you just apologize?
127
00:09:56,747 --> 00:09:58,477
Apologize for what?
128
00:09:59,252 --> 00:10:02,782
If you don't know
then obviously, you're a big, fat jerk.
129
00:10:05,431 --> 00:10:07,127
Okay, she's nuts.
130
00:10:08,669 --> 00:10:10,662
I know. You are not fat.
131
00:10:22,729 --> 00:10:25,063
- Eric.
- Get off of my mom. What?
132
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,535
What is it with you?
You've been extra losery lately.
133
00:10:33,984 --> 00:10:35,954
I saw Mom and Dad having sex.
134
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,300
You poor thing.
135
00:10:44,838 --> 00:10:47,969
It's all right. It's okay. Baby's fine.
136
00:10:48,044 --> 00:10:49,946
Laurie, it was horrible.
137
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:52,747
And I can't get the image out of my mind.
138
00:10:53,088 --> 00:10:55,786
I mean, it was Mom and Dad,
but they were...
139
00:10:55,859 --> 00:11:00,095
They were like a pair of wildebeests
on a National Geographic Special.
140
00:11:04,476 --> 00:11:06,412
Deep in theunexplored psyche...
141
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,346
of a confused young man...
142
00:11:08,416 --> 00:11:10,785
is a wilderness called...
143
00:11:10,855 --> 00:11:12,950
wild Wisconsin.
144
00:11:14,428 --> 00:11:16,226
After several days of tracking...
145
00:11:16,299 --> 00:11:19,168
we've finally located the denof the wily Red.
146
00:11:19,572 --> 00:11:22,099
Here we see Suburbus Sexmaniacus...
147
00:11:22,176 --> 00:11:24,908
tracking his prey through the living room.
148
00:11:25,749 --> 00:11:29,381
Observe as the male indicateshis interest in mating...
149
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:32,587
by making loud, aggressive noises.
150
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,835
The female's attractivedouble knit pantsuit...
151
00:11:39,910 --> 00:11:43,747
and scarlet lips signal her readiness.
152
00:11:44,552 --> 00:11:47,217
This display is not lost on the male.
153
00:11:47,658 --> 00:11:49,251
Here he goes.
154
00:11:49,327 --> 00:11:50,694
Let's watch.
155
00:12:11,136 --> 00:12:13,663
Eric, I am so sorry.
156
00:12:16,313 --> 00:12:19,911
But you have to understand.
Mom and Dad are in love.
157
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:24,226
- They have urges and needs just like us.
- No urges. No needs.
158
00:12:28,034 --> 00:12:30,334
I learned in psychology class...
159
00:12:30,406 --> 00:12:32,842
that what you went through is traumatic.
160
00:12:33,011 --> 00:12:34,206
But don't worry.
161
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,081
Many people have
had this same experience.
162
00:12:38,488 --> 00:12:41,015
Really? And they turned out all right?
163
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:46,296
Well, some of them
turned out to be serial killers.
164
00:12:48,874 --> 00:12:51,276
But I'm sure that's just a coincidence.
165
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,681
But whatever.
166
00:12:54,451 --> 00:12:56,216
You know what the sad thing is?
167
00:12:56,288 --> 00:12:58,952
I actually think you're trying to be nice.
168
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:03,729
Yeah. It's just not my strong suit. Sorry.
169
00:13:05,205 --> 00:13:07,539
So, I'll be all right?
170
00:13:08,945 --> 00:13:10,004
No.
171
00:13:29,819 --> 00:13:31,982
Donna, I'm really not in the mood.
172
00:13:32,691 --> 00:13:34,091
Come on.
173
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,854
I'm just trying to get a little action here.
174
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,365
Donna, I just can't.
175
00:13:40,004 --> 00:13:42,441
Come on, all the other guys are doing it.
176
00:13:46,751 --> 00:13:49,654
What's going on?
Are you, like, mad at me or something?
177
00:13:49,723 --> 00:13:50,713
I...
178
00:13:52,529 --> 00:13:54,088
Donna, I saw my parents having sex.
179
00:13:54,165 --> 00:13:56,635
God! Yee!
180
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:02,772
Yeah.
181
00:14:05,119 --> 00:14:06,587
And you liked it, right?
182
00:14:06,656 --> 00:14:10,117
No! God, no! That's sick! Everyone's sick!
183
00:14:10,796 --> 00:14:13,130
I'm kidding, Eric, I'm kidding.
184
00:14:14,203 --> 00:14:15,638
Good one.
185
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,074
All right, look.
186
00:14:21,384 --> 00:14:24,754
I'm gonna tell you something
I've never told anybody else...
187
00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,121
all right?
188
00:14:27,963 --> 00:14:30,456
When I was 12, I saw my parents doing it.
189
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,371
How did you get over it?
190
00:14:34,442 --> 00:14:37,413
At first I was, like, completely freaked out.
191
00:14:37,982 --> 00:14:40,612
But then, eventually, the pain receded...
192
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:44,051
and I was able to live again.
193
00:14:45,863 --> 00:14:47,331
I don't see this receding.
194
00:14:47,399 --> 00:14:49,767
I mean, I walked in on Red and Kitty
and they were...
195
00:14:49,838 --> 00:14:52,035
They were right in the middle.
196
00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:54,343
God, that's nothing.
197
00:14:54,413 --> 00:14:58,683
I caught my parents outside,
in broad daylight, on my hammock.
198
00:15:00,491 --> 00:15:03,622
Where I used to read, like,
my Nancy Drew mysteries.
199
00:15:05,701 --> 00:15:08,730
That is so much worse than mine.
Oh, God.
200
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:13,679
I can remember, like,
little bits of naked skin peeking...
201
00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:16,050
through the holes of the hammock.
202
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,423
Wow.
203
00:15:20,362 --> 00:15:23,823
It's weird,
but knowing what you went through...
204
00:15:23,902 --> 00:15:26,202
just makes me feel so much better.
205
00:15:27,175 --> 00:15:30,945
- Because you're, like, totally over it, right?
- And later...
206
00:15:32,519 --> 00:15:34,113
they came inside...
207
00:15:34,756 --> 00:15:37,523
and they had, like,
this checkerboard pattern...
208
00:15:37,595 --> 00:15:39,792
all over their arms and legs.
209
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,063
And my dad laughed...
210
00:15:43,106 --> 00:15:45,542
and said they fell asleep on the hammock.
211
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,512
But I knew it was a lie.
212
00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:52,082
I knew what he did to my mom.
213
00:15:58,402 --> 00:15:59,665
Your mom.
214
00:16:04,813 --> 00:16:08,047
- Okay, I'm ready to fool around.
- Please take me home.
215
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,535
Look, Jackie, it's my friends.
Eric, Donna, and Fez.
216
00:16:24,618 --> 00:16:26,611
Yep, that's all my friends.
217
00:16:28,559 --> 00:16:31,759
Kelso, if you have something
to say to me, why don't you just say it?
218
00:16:31,832 --> 00:16:33,027
No.
219
00:16:34,336 --> 00:16:35,804
No.
220
00:16:36,107 --> 00:16:39,135
I think you have something to say to me.
221
00:16:39,212 --> 00:16:42,048
And I'm gonna be
right over here when you're ready.
222
00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:49,864
All right, this is stupid.
223
00:16:49,933 --> 00:16:53,099
- Hyde, just apologize already.
- Forman, it's not my fault.
224
00:16:53,172 --> 00:16:54,504
Whatever, he thinks it is.
225
00:16:54,575 --> 00:16:57,911
It is. You made me fall off the water tower.
226
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,651
How? Did I push you?
227
00:17:02,323 --> 00:17:06,388
- Well, no, but...
- Did I make the railing slippery?
228
00:17:07,199 --> 00:17:09,692
- No.
- Then how is it my fault?
229
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,266
Because...
230
00:17:12,943 --> 00:17:14,936
you didn't like my artwork.
231
00:17:17,318 --> 00:17:21,554
And you don't respect me,
and you laugh at me...
232
00:17:21,627 --> 00:17:24,793
and you're inconsiderate of my feelings.
233
00:17:27,304 --> 00:17:30,640
Kelso, no offense,
but you sound like a chick.
234
00:17:33,650 --> 00:17:34,811
What...
235
00:17:36,254 --> 00:17:37,586
Man, I do!
236
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,028
Okay, all right.
237
00:17:41,731 --> 00:17:44,429
Do you remember that time
when I was climbing your fence...
238
00:17:44,503 --> 00:17:48,136
and I hit my forehead on that tree
branch, and I fell into your yard...
239
00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:51,944
and your dog Yogi came out of the
house and bit me twice on the ass?
240
00:17:57,761 --> 00:17:58,888
Yeah.
241
00:17:59,365 --> 00:18:01,665
You bled and you cried.
242
00:18:04,207 --> 00:18:07,179
- I bled, I didn't cry.
- Yeah, you did.
243
00:18:08,615 --> 00:18:10,551
You bled and you cried.
244
00:18:11,053 --> 00:18:14,423
And you laughed, man. A lot.
While I was bleeding.
245
00:18:15,830 --> 00:18:20,032
- Do you see my point?
- Yeah. It's funny when friends get hurt.
246
00:18:27,118 --> 00:18:28,484
Close enough.
247
00:18:30,257 --> 00:18:33,855
- Sorry.
- Hey, stop talking like a chick.
248
00:18:39,574 --> 00:18:41,510
God, you're both idiots.
249
00:18:46,855 --> 00:18:47,982
Eric.
250
00:18:48,558 --> 00:18:52,498
Your father and I have noticed that
you've been acting very strange lately.
251
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:53,864
Like a hippie.
252
00:18:56,908 --> 00:19:00,904
- Is there something you want to tell us?
- Are you on dope? Are you?
253
00:19:02,285 --> 00:19:04,847
Because we can help you get clean.
254
00:19:04,923 --> 00:19:08,886
- There's counseling, hospitalization...
- My foot kicking your ass.
255
00:19:15,643 --> 00:19:18,136
Mom, Dad, I'm not on drugs.
256
00:19:18,281 --> 00:19:20,683
What a relief. You have no idea...
257
00:19:20,752 --> 00:19:22,551
Kitty, he's lying.
258
00:19:24,092 --> 00:19:25,891
That's what the hopheads do.
259
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,732
Dad, I swear, I'm not on drugs.
260
00:19:30,004 --> 00:19:32,065
Then, what the hell's wrong with you?
261
00:19:35,180 --> 00:19:38,642
I accidentally... I was upstairs and I...
262
00:19:39,789 --> 00:19:42,089
Okay, you know what, I'm on drugs.
263
00:19:48,540 --> 00:19:51,705
For God's sake, he saw you guys doing it!
264
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,441
There.
265
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:57,283
I helped.
266
00:20:00,361 --> 00:20:02,058
Honey.
267
00:20:02,566 --> 00:20:05,697
- Were your father and I having intercourse?
- Mom.
268
00:20:09,078 --> 00:20:12,073
No wonder you've been acting so weird.
269
00:20:12,151 --> 00:20:14,747
Red, say something. Make him feel better.
270
00:20:20,299 --> 00:20:22,166
It's more fun than it looks.
271
00:20:31,020 --> 00:20:34,424
- Red.
- What? What do you want me to say?
272
00:20:34,493 --> 00:20:38,797
Look, you know what? You guys do it.
273
00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:42,498
And I'm okay with that.
274
00:20:44,612 --> 00:20:45,739
So...
275
00:20:46,883 --> 00:20:48,078
thanks.
276
00:20:50,056 --> 00:20:51,354
Sure thing.
277
00:20:53,429 --> 00:20:55,831
I just hope you learned your lesson.
278
00:20:58,306 --> 00:21:00,036
Yes, sir. I did.
279
00:21:03,248 --> 00:21:05,081
Wait a second. What lesson?
280
00:21:06,454 --> 00:21:07,752
Always knock.
281
00:21:08,892 --> 00:21:12,228
- Even in the middle of the afternoon.
- Oh, my God.
282
00:21:21,048 --> 00:21:22,813
Damn, that was funny.
283
00:21:24,455 --> 00:21:26,516
I don't know how funny it is.
284
00:21:26,592 --> 00:21:29,928
I mean, what if that had been
you walking in on your parents.
285
00:21:35,342 --> 00:21:37,403
And your mother was a dancer.
286
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,847
I imagine
that would have been quite something.
287
00:21:42,088 --> 00:21:43,522
Quit it, Kitty.
288
00:21:45,461 --> 00:21:46,554
Hey, don't.
289
00:21:50,271 --> 00:21:51,830
Now, stop it.
290
00:21:58,088 --> 00:22:01,549
Boy, Kelso is going to be
so happy that I finished his graffiti.
291
00:22:03,832 --> 00:22:04,993
Yes.
292
00:22:05,235 --> 00:22:07,034
I am very talented.
293
00:22:08,007 --> 00:22:09,066
I...
294
00:22:14,152 --> 00:22:15,519
No.
295
00:22:16,356 --> 00:22:17,654
I am hurt.
296
00:22:19,295 --> 00:22:20,763
And all alone.
297
00:22:22,701 --> 00:22:25,001
And it is giving me the finger.
21302
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