All language subtitles for Taking.Chances.2009.720p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.LT]

[ Man ]
Throughout the saga
of this great land,

whenever the shells of tyranny have flown toward
our hallowed soil,

we have always endured.

And that is why, though often
shamelessly overlooked...

by mainstream academics,

the Battle of Patriotville Creek does indeed
have much to teach us.

Yes. It all happened right here,
upon this glorious battlefield,

230 years ago.

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

Fire at will!

[ Shouts ]

None of us would ever
be the same.

Charge!

[ All Shouting ]

Thank you.

Oh. Thank you.
¶ [ Folk Rock ]

¶ Now, where were you
when I was stranded
out in this town ¶

¶ I swear that you could
rely on me ¶

¶ While you've been away
Do you see ¶

¶ Like there's no one around
to make it true ¶

¶ And I ¶

¶ Look to the stars ¶

¶ And right underneath
I'm a prisoner ¶

¶ What am I doing here ¶

¶ What will you do ¶

¶ When your dreams come true ¶

¶ When your dreams come true ¶

¶ What will you do ¶

¶ When your dreams come true ¶

¶ Another night
Well, I was just
wandering about ¶

¶ Wearing out the disguise
I breathe, yeah ¶

¶ This dream is alive ¶

¶ Like some memory
of you or me ¶

¶ Till my eyes turn into stone ¶

¶ Till my eyes turn into stone ¶

¶ Till my eyes turn into stone ¶

¶ Till my eyes turn into stone ¶

- [ Bell Clanging ]
- ¶ What will you do ¶

¶ When your dreams come true ¶

¶ When your dreams come true ¶

¶ What will you do ¶

¶ When your dreams come true ¶

[ Man ]
You're obsessed.

You know, man, there's
more to life than just work.

Hey, Dig.
You know, some people
really like having a job.

And I don't mean, like,
chasing high school girls
around. That's not a job.

Technically it's not a job.
I know what you mean.
But it is hard work.

I don't know what you want me
to say. I love my job, okay?

History is the cornerstone
of our nation's past.

Past! But the future,
which is forward,

is out there.

Old dead things--
Please don't.

Please.
Old dead things in here.

Alive things--
Young alive things out there.

Look, dude. All I'm saying
is that why don't you come
with me tonight?

I'm meeting up with this...

sweet beauty.

Car-- Carlinda.

Carlinda?
Bet-- Betty--

[ Groans ]
Look. Okay. More importantly,

when it comes to you,
she is going to...

bring, dot, dot, dot--

Oh. Her, uh, beaver?
Her beaver?
Why does that matter?

W-- Friends.

Oh, her friends' beavers?
Her friends.

She's gonna bring her friends.

I-I-- I can't, man.
I-I-I gotta work on my proposal
to the town council.

Man, you're more stuck
than I thought.

I'm a little busy right now.
I'm a little preoccupied.

It is a simple fact, man.

Celibacy kills.

It's been medically
established.

Where?

The journal.

In your journal? I--

I got priorities.

If I had a museum,
guess what I would call it.

The musée de "pussay."

[ Chuckles ]
That's great. Great.
Do you get it?

Yeah, I do.
It would showcase
all the greats.

There would be, uh,
Don Juan. Of course.

Casanova.

Richard Gere.
Right.

It would be awesome.
Josh Hartnett.

Hartnett? Yeah.

[ Man ] Taylor Pork Lips
Clamps was the third
major employer in town...

to go out of business
this year.

Consequently,
tax revenues are down,

and we're actually behind
on some of our bond payments.

Edwin Goosewiite,
town treasurer.

Uh, yes, Mr. Mayor?

Clearly your Nobel Prize
in economics was
no wasted parchment.

Actually, I don't have
a Nobel Prize in economics.

Sarcasm, you mongoloid.
Okay. Thanks.

Just give us the F'ing
bottom line here.

Oh. Well, we are
going bankrupt.

- [ All Gasp ]
- I'm sorry. I probably should
have said something earlier.

All right. Hold on.
Hold on. You F-wits.

The ship ain't sinkin',
okay?

Not while
I'm in the saddle...
of this ship.

[ Sighs ]
I got a plan, all right?
Somethin' big.

Somethin' extra large.

The cavalry's on the way.

¶ [ Drums Beating ]
¶ [ Native Americans Chanting ]

¶ [ Continues ]

Oh, man.
That is the shit.

Eldorado '74.

Last of the greats.

Hey, that was back
when they built 'em
big and wide.

You know, back when a man
was just always prepared.

Get your girl so itchy
that she's just dyin' for it.

[ High-pitched Voice ]
"Give it to me."

That's what she would say.
And then you could just
put the seats down,

and then you could have
plenty of room
to do your best work.

[ Gunshot ]

[ Gunshot ]

You ever wonder, if things
took a different turn,
what might have been?

No.

How long has that sign
been there?

What if they had built
all those homes?

A hundred houses would be
out here right now.

It's crazy the potential
that just never...

got realized.

[ Gunshot ]

¶ [ Speakers: Country, Faint ]

[ Man ]
It ain't there.

Please, we actually
got customers?

We got clientele.
Native American
indigenous type clientele.

You mean Indians?

Oh, my God,
that's passé
terminology, Son.

It's kind of like calling
Orientals Chinamen.

I don't think--

They, uh, wanted
three together,
so I gave them yours.

So you better take 68.

Sixty-eight?
Dad, I hate 68.

Oh, shit. Them Indians
are gonna need towels.

- You mind?
- Okay.

[ Rooster Crows ]

[ Chanting ]

[ Chanting Continues ]

[ All ]
Om.

Hello.

I'm Mary Born Kicking.

Hey. I'm, uh, Chase,
from the Lodge. How.

Hi.
Uh--

Oh. Sorry.
Sorry to interrupt.

No. It's okay.

You do yoga,
Chase from the Lodge?

Uh, yoga? I thought--
I thought you were--

What?
No, nothing.

Praying for rain?
[ Thunder Rumbles ]

[ Chuckles ]

You think yoga's
effeminate?
No.

You should try it.
Change your life.

Thank you.

You have to grab some in here,
would you, Wes?
And we'll, uh, get goin'.

Mr. Barksdale.
Oh, Chase Revere.
What you doin', son?

You leadin'
the gay pride parade?

No. No, I'm not.

Uh, we don't even--
I don't think we have
a gay pride parade.

Yeah, well,
keep hope alive, son.

Uh, I'm here for the--
We had a 3:00 meeting
about my presentation...

to the town council, so--

Sorry, son.
You know, some other
town business come up.

- [ Chuckles ]
We need the chairs.
- Uh, sir. I got it.

- Got what?
- The answer to our town's
financial woes.

What, in there?

Historical tourism.
Take a look at that.

Ah.
And listen to this.

Oh, you got some tunes?
No. No. It's a multimedia
presentation.

[ Man On Speakers ]
Here in Patriotville,
we have an abundance of history,

more than most places,
in fact.
Well-- Yeah, that's--

That's fine.
People love to learn about...

where they come from,
I've found.

- It's the feather.
- Huh?

That feather makes it gay.

Just my two cents.
Sorry about the chairs.

[ Man On Speakers ]
It's a grand ambition.
That's for sure.

But history is a grand subject.

Let's see where it takes us.

And so, in conclusion,

Patriotville is a town
built for business--

your casino business.

Great job, Stove.
Have a sit.

Stove.

So, uh-- [ Chuckles ]
We think we took the standard
deal on these things...

and, uh, really
upped it a notch.

Yeah. And, uh, then we...

took it up...

another notch.

- So, where did you say
you chaps were from?
- Uh, here, originally.

[ Chuckles ]
Judge here's a magician
with the law.

Gonna grease this sucker
every inch of the way.

Gonna grease it
like a watermelon
in a public pool, huh, Judge?

[ Chuckles ]
That's just a saying.

So, uh,

we ready to ink this?

Forty generations ago,

our tribe called
these lands home.

Our ancestors did not know
that promises
could scatter like dust.

Now we know better.

[ All Murmuring Consent ]

- [ Shouts ]
- [ All Gasp ]

When the vision of this casino
rose from the flames
of our council fire,

I dreamed of an eagle.

[ Eagle Shrieks ]
What this eagle told me...

was that our future lies here--

Ah.
with your village.

Or your neighbor--
the village you call
Sulfur Falls,

across the mountain.

The eagle is cautious.
[ All Murmuring Agreement ]

Uh, we don't understand.

What don't you understand?

Bureau of Indian Affairs,
recognition of
the Alguanqua Tribe,

Federal Indian
Gaming Commission license...

and a $20 million
equity agreement.

Our casino will save
your dying town.

So don't talk to us
of the standard deal.

Your people have always
given our people
the standard deal.

The standard deal blows.

You have 24 hours
to make an honorable offer,

or we go across the mountain
to Sulfur Falls.

I have chosen my gift.

[ Murmuring ]

[ Door Opens ]

[ Door Closes ]
[ Sighs ]

- [ Barksdale ]
What just happened here?
- Well, we got ambushed.

So you're telling me now
we're in competition with those
hicks over in Sulfur Falls?

"F" that shit.

We weren't prepared.
We're gonna be.

I don't think he saw
an eagle in this area.

Yeah, I thought
they were into hawks.

This Indian shit...

that got really
"Indiany" in here.

He might have seen
an osprey.

They were talkin'
about a dream,
you F-holes.

[ Crickets Chirping ]

[ Crash ]

Oh, hey.
[ Chuckles ]
Hello.

You work at Long John Silver's?

Uh, oh, no.

No. I work at
the Battlefield Museum.

I'm, uh--
I'm the manager there.

[ Clears Throat ]
Slash, you know,
senior curator.

- Oh.
- Uh, what about you?
What-- What's your...

"ocupado"?

Oh, just freelance.

- Freelance what?
- Just freelance.

No, but, like, freelance--

Just freelance.
Just freelance.

Good old freelance.
[ Chuckles ]

That's cool.
I like your bike.

Oh. Yeah.
I-- I let my dad
borrow my car today.

I usually travel
on four wheels.

This is my dad's.
Oh, yeah?

- Mm-hmm.
Maybe they could carpool.
- [ Chuckles ]

- Right? It'd be environmental.
- That's all the rage
these days.

[ Chuckles ]
Very green.
[ Chuckles ]

Did you, uh,
lose the keys, or you--

No.

No, because--
Did you try the other door?

Were you watching me?

No.

No, I was-- I--
I was comin'-- No.

I was just drivin'
down the hill. I--

All right.
I mean, I saw you
for a while.

Yeah, just try that.
Maybe sometimes-- Ah.

There you go.

You're clever.
Thanks.

Can you double me on that?
Um,

it's not technically a bike
built for two.

It's built for one.
Seat's a little warm.

That's all right.

Okay.

You okay?
Mm-hmm.

Go. Go.
What?

Keep goin'.
Keep goin'.

Okay.
Okay. You okay?

Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]

Whoo!

Say, do you, uh,
want to have a beer?

Yes.

My dad slinked off
with this woman last year.

We were living in Sulfur Falls.

He just disappeared
in the middle of the night.

Just like that.
Nobody's seen him since.

I decided to move here.

You know, fresh start.

Yeah.
And then, bam,
I spot his car here.

So, naturally,
you had to blow it up.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
That was just so he knows...

I know he's around,
somewhere.

That was my message
to him tonight.

Loud and clear.
Mm-hmm.

He's got something of mine.
I want it back.
What?

A necklace.

Is it made out of, like,
the bones of Jesus?

Jesus.

It was my great-grandmother's,
then my grandmother's,
then my mother's.

Now it's supposed to be mine.

So, do--
So, do you miss him?

That's personal.
I'm sorry. I--

That's-- I shouldn't have.
No.

I don't.

Yeah, I do.

My mom died, like,
four years ago now.

- Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
- Can I call you?

Sure. You can call me,
but...

if I don't answer,
you won't take that
personally.

Chances are
I probably would.

An honest man.

I mean, the head of the Chamber
of Commerce canceling a meeting
like that at the last second.

It's not cool.
I know he's your dad and all,
but it's not cool.

Nice.
So, uh, who's this girl?

Lucy something.
That's all I know.

Lucy?
Yeah.

Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.

Wait. Kind of weird
but kind of hot?

Implications of something
dirty and awesome goin' on?

Yeah. You know her?

Dude, Lucy Spanks.
She was living in Sulfur Falls.

- My cousin Slinky at the, uh--
- Slinky?

Dude, he tried
everything on her.

No dice.
Her knees are glued together
extra-virgin style.

Slinky'd say
that nobody's hit it.

Ever.

I'm gonna ask her out.

- No, no, no, no, no, no. What?
- Yeah.

- No, dude. Don't bother.
- Why?

Dude, just 'cause
she looks like a slut,
doesn't mean that she is a slut.

And right now, you and I--
we need sluts.

That's my opinion.

Oh, hey. I got
some other news for you.
What?

Dude, we're gettin' a casino.

Here?
Yeah.

This dipshit town's
about to win the lottery.

Everything's gonna change.

No way.
No way.

All right, dude. You don't
have to believe me, but my dad
heard it from the mayor, so--

Okay. This is like
the time the Olympics
were gonna come here.

The Winter Olympics.
Or what about...

when they were gonna
move the Eiffel Tower
from Paris to Patriotville?

- That was true.
- Or Disneyland
was gonna move in?

- Disneyland-- they're still
working on the plans.
- I don't believe a word of it.

- Are you kidding me?
- You don't have to believe me,

but my dad said
it's a done deal.

They don't-- They don't get it.
They don't understand
that our point of difference...

for the vacationing public is--
i-is our place in history.

They move some casino in here--
some crap-ass casino-- it's
gonna change the whole thing.

It's gonna ruin it all. We're
gonna be like every other sleazy
casino town. They can't do that.

Maybe the town
would rather be rich...

than have a rich history.

I'll pretend like
you didn't even say that.

Dude, I heard
one more thing.
What?

One of the places
that they were talking about
building the casino--

Yeah? Where?

At the--

At the battlefield,
where you work.

[ Insects Buzzing ]

[ Man ]
Come on.

[ Groans ]

Chief!

Here.
[ Gasps ]

Christ.

You almost scared me.

I have an office, you know.

Corn comforts me.

Yeah.

[ Exhales ]

Look, uh, I'm a bottom line guy.

Okay? Like yourself--
what makes us leaders.

Yeah. We're gonna, uh,
expand the acreage offer...

and enhance
all the financial terms.

And--

We're gonna make the lease
a dollar a year. Okay?

[ Laughs ]
We're basically gonna
give it to ya.

These are the same
wind-filled promises
of your rival.

Surely you can
think of offerings that
would prove your worthiness.

There is a river
in our legend history.

The mighty Alguanqua.

There is no stronger
river anywhere,

because, in this river,
the water flows both ways.

The both ways river.

Yeah, can I get
back to you on that?

[ Phone Line Ringing ]

- [ Lucy ]
Hello?
- Hey. Uh, it's Chase.

Hey. I have
a question for you.

Okay.

If you answer correctly,
you can ask me out.

If you want.
Do you want to ask me out?

Is that-- Is that the question?
Do I want to ask you out?
No.

That's the follow-up question
to the first question,
if you get it right.

But, since you brought it up,
what's the answer?

Uh-- What? No. No.

Sorry. You have to ask
the first question first.

I forgot it.

I lost the upper hand,
didn't I?

- [ Chuckles ]
- Oh, well.
Don't get too confident.

[ Sighs ]
I am much more
complicated than I look.

Are you at
Long John Silver's?

Yeah.

I actually am.
You want to come over?

¶ She cries, she lies
she drives me wild
but I love her ¶

- [ No Audible Dialogue ]
- ¶ Stars seem to line up ¶

¶ All in a row ¶

¶ Now what's that say
about you and I ¶

¶ I get stoned if I remember ¶

¶ I want to take a plane
over the sun ¶

¶ And I'll never
come home again ¶

It's called the, uh--
the family that never laughed.

¶ [ Continues ]

This is very interesting.
The first steel was produced
in East Africa in 1400 B.C,

and today there are
modern steel mills
in the same sites...

as some of those
original ones in Africa.

Wow.
Yeah.

I never knew that.
Well, now you do.

[ Chuckles ]
Yeah.

Our last one here closed, uh,
20 years ago.

¶ Now what's that say
about you and I ¶

¶ I get stoned if I remember ¶

¶ I want to take a plane
over the sun ¶

¶ And I'll never
come home again ¶

These are the first
hermaphrodite ducks.
[ Laughs ]

¶ She cries, she lies
she drives me wild
but I love her ¶

[ No Audible Dialogue ]
¶ Stars seem to line up
all in a row ¶

[ Lucy ]
I like your job.

My mom was
a history teacher,
so I kind of...

caught the bug,
I guess.

Hmm. I had, um--

I had a really fun day.

[ Clock Ticking ]

Me too.

[ Ticking Continues ]

Can I kiss you
right now?

I can't.

Please.

I can't.

How come?

[ Sighs ]
I just can't.

[ Ticking Continues ]

Uh,

earlier did you say
you had a fun day
or date?

[ Mayor Sighs ]
So, I think this "river
flows both ways" shit...

is just Indianspeak
for a plain,
old-fashioned bribe.

They're just tryin' to
squeeze every dime
out of this they can.

[ Chuckles ]
Well, Stover, pop quiz.

Who invented capitalism?

Not them.

I talked to Edwin today.

For once,
it may pay off to have
a retard for a treasurer.

We got 65,000 in state money
to repair the water system.

Now, if we use that
for this,

we'll be able to beat
whatever those
Sulfur clowns put up.

Bribe's not so kosher.

I'm with Carlos.

Kosher is kosher.

- And that's not kosher.
- Thank you, Rabbi.

[ Sighs ]
Okay.

Stover,

how much were
loan defaults
up last year?

I don't have those numbers.
Oh. Okay. Thank you.

Kitty, how many buckets of
extra-crappy chicken you sell
this year compared to last?

Not so many.

Used to be Carlos
had three guys
at the barbershop.

Yeah. Now it's just
him and his mom,
and she's feeble.

No offense.

- She cuts my hair good.
- Shut up, Stover.

Now look.
We either pay
a little bit now,

or we watch this whole town
float down crap river.

If this thing gets out,

we're gonna find ourselves
with a mouth full of balls.

What the "F"
are you talkin' about?

Testes.

No, I got the reference.
I just don't--
Forget it.

By which I mean to say
that it would be unpleasant.
[ Sighs ]

[ Lawn Mower Whirring ]

[ Crash ]

[ Grunts ]

Mama.

There was an accident.

Do you need some help?
No, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Everyone's fine.

Mama.
It's hot.

It's early.

[ Sighs ]
[ Vehicle Approaches ]

[ Horn Honks ]

Who's that?
Just a boy.

I said that once.

¶ [ Folk ]

¶ Every day ¶

¶ Yeah ¶

¶ You always said ¶

¶ Don't say ¶

¶ I love you ¶

¶ You can come find me ¶

¶ On an island miles away ¶

¶ On an island miles away ¶
Oh, man.
I'm ready for a dip.

I hear that.

¶ [ Continues ]

Holy shit.
Oh, my God.

Pretty crazy, huh, Abby?

Gail.

My name.

It's-- It's Gail.

That's-- That's what I said.

Oh. I thought you said Abby.

Are you really jumping?
[ Digger ]
Are you kidding?

Yeah. I'd jump that.
I'd, uh-- I'll do it again,

'cause I've done it before,
a ton of times.

- Do it.
- All right, hotshot.
I will.

Why don't you
settle down for a second.
Let me get my bearings here.

Whoo!

Oh, she is not normal.

Shit.

Shit.

[ Screams ]

[ Chase ]
Oh.
[ Chuckles ]

I'm in love with him.

No, you're not.

[ Yelps ]

[ Digger ]
Come on, you chicken!

[ Lucy ]
It's awesome!
[ Digger Clucking ]

I'm comin' right down.
[ Lucy ] Whoo!

[ Digger ]
Uh-oh. Looks like someone
needs to borrow a pair.

[ Gail ]
Come on, Chase!
[ Lucy ] Come on, Chase!

[ Digger ]
Come on, Chase!
Just be a man-- for once!

¶ [ Folk ]

¶ You always said ¶

¶ Don't say ¶

¶ I love you ¶

I figured out
how to stop the casino.

I wrote a letter to the mayor.
Did I tell you that?

Mm-mmm. You know what you need?
A petition.

Otherwise known as
"Why would you do that?"

A petition.

I did it in school to
get rid of a vice principal.

He was creeping me out.

Oh, yeah.
How'd that go?
Got expelled.

That's genius.

A-- A petition.
A petition to put the casino
to a town vote.

Don't you guys get it?
Everybody wants this casino.

Who would vote on that?
I'd sign.

Yeah. I'd sign.

That's-That's one--

Oh, so just--
Oh, it's just you two
against the entire town.

No, man.
Others would join.
Are you kidding?

There'd be a lot of people.
It's called democracy. That's
what democracy is all about.

Dude, it's called
"What is your deal--
with this thing?"

Just let it go.

Stupid easy money
is still stupid,
even if it's easy.

But, dude, stupid easy money--
You make "stupid easy money"
sound like it's a problem,

not a solution.

I'm sorry. You trying
to impress somebody?

Wow. Okay.

Hey. How are your herpes?
Are they under control now?

[ Chuckles ]
Douche bag.
[ Laughs ]

[ Chattering ]

Mmm.

There doesn't seem to be
as many-- many people
here as last year.

Yeah. That's, uh,
stating the obvious.

You think it's 'cause of
the downturn in the local
business affairs?

Do-- [ Chuckles ]
That's only
a newspaper headline.

You haven't been reading
a newspaper, have you?

- What do you mean?
- Nothin'. I just, you know,
got worried for a second.

Stop it.
What?

You're being mean.

What are those Indian fellas
doing here in town?

They are, uh,
you know, previously...

oppressed peoples of America,
so be nice to 'em--
you and all the girls.

Is something going on?
No.

And don't ask questions.

I made a casserole tonight.
No.

For dinner. No?
No. And I might sleep
at the office.

I can bring the casserole--
Just go to bed.

Oh, you got a girlfriend
or something?

[ Sighs ]
Yeah. I do.

Oh, this is weird.
Uh, her name is
"official town business."

Sorry. I love you.

Love you too.
Okay. Come here.

Okay.

Bye.

Where'd that come from?

It's amazing how much
happened here.

I mean,
it would blow your mind,

the history that was here--
that is here.

In 1776,

these, uh, American soldiers
coming home for Christmas...

were ambushed by 50 British.

They were severely
outnumbered. Right here.

You see, the Americans
got clobbered,
and they surrendered fast,

but, um, it was so cold out,
everyone was freezing--

captor and captive.

So they cut a deal.

The Americans let
the British pretend to hold
the entire town.

That way, no one got hurt, and
they were able to get regular
supplies from the British army.

And then, when the war was over,
they gave each British guy,
like, a little piece of land.

Sneaky.
[ Chuckles ]

It was called
the Secret Surrender
of Patriotville.

[ Chuckles ]
[ Chuckles ]

[ Man ]
Nice, uh, office.

- [ Mayor ]
Thank you muchly.
- What's your real job?

I'm the mayor.
Oh.

I thought, in towns like this,
the mayor usually has a day job
to go along with the...

great honor of the mayorship.

Lawn care.

Lawn care.

Second-most successful
business in town.

In the bureau--
[ Sighs ]

I'm the first man
on the scene, as they say.

My job is to keep things
clean in the beginning,

when things can be
their most... unruly.

Okay, I've seen
all the tricks.

Every single one of them.
The Indians have something
the white man wants-- again--

and the white man
will do anything to get it.

[ Clears Throat ]

You're white.

You're observant.
I like that.

It's obvious
why you're the mayor here.
Very smart man.

Thank you.
Anyway,

I'm just here until the tribe
settles on a location...

and the official
locating agreement is signed
by all necessary parties.

Then somebody
has themselves a casino.

And that, of course,
is when the real bureaucracy
takes over.

That is a real kettle
of old fish heads,
if you know what I mean.

But before that,

it's my apples on the line.

So, to get down to
brass tacks,

if anything messes
with my apples,

that means
no locating agreement.

And that means...

no casino.

I have your apples
in my capable hands.

I like the sound of that.

I really like
the sound of that.

Excuse me.
Mayor Fishback.
Hey, dude.

Hi. Do you have
a moment for one of
your constituents?

[ Sighs ] Always.
Chase. It's good
to see you again.

Good.
Digger Barksdale.

Hey.
How are ya?

We're actually, uh,
looking for signatures...

for our petition
that would put the casino
to a town vote.

Let me get this--
For one, I don't know what
you're talking about.

There's no casino.
Sorry?

No, but that'd be great.

Wouldn't it?
Because I love gaming.
[ Digger ] It would be awesome.

What's your game?
I'm a Caribbean Poker man.
Yeah.

Is this for a school project?
No. Sir, this is
a petition...

for the town to vote
on the casino.

Oh. Where?
Where's the casino?
The one that--

That the games of chance
over there? Is that what
you're talking about?

- Mayor, all due respect--
- We know the casino is coming.
We know--

- How would you know about that?
- Oh, his dad--

No, no, no.
Dad-- His dad--

Great. So, moving on.
The town needs money.
We're in dire straits.

History can't happen again
without progress.
Ah?

Right?
So let's progress.

Let's allow
the red man to come in
and build a casino--

I think "red man"
is disresp--
And let's all get rich.

- No, that's an actual term.
- We're gonna get
a casino in here.

We're gonna put it
on your battlefield.

And we're gonna make
enough money to fix
the water system,

and you'll get
new school uniforms.

- And what else would bring in
tourists? Nothing.
- [ Chase ] Oh, I don't know.

Maybe our beautiful
history that we have,
that we want to preserve here.

The fact that an amazing battle
took place right here
on our own hallowed ground.

Maybe that would bring in
some tourists.

It's not about glamorous,
sleazy casinos,
which any town could have.

We have a real place
in history, and that's how
we have to attract--

Can I tell you something?
And this might disappoint you.

That whole battle
is an urban myth.

It's an urban myth.

Historical fact, Mayor.
Let me take a look
at that again.

If you were to vote
for a casino,
what would you, uh--

- What would you vote?
What would your vote be?
- My vote would be no.

I don't really
care either way.
That's not your name.

No. I'm writing those
two names down here.

Gonna put it in my pocket.
Those are two of our friends.

I don't understand
why you did that.
Ah, you don't have to.

Keep it goin'.
The spirit of
the civic-minded community--

You-- You have our--
Thanks, dude.

That went the exact opposite
of how I thought
it was gonna go.

[ Chase ]
We're getting the ball rolling.
The ball... of freedom.

[ Lucy ]
This is so civic.
Yeah.

Can I go--
Of course. Yeah.

Excuse me, sir.
No, thanks.

Sir. Sir.

What have we got so far?

Six.
Uh--

Well, this guy signed his name
twice for some reason.

Hey, uh, I'm from
the Guardian.

My sources said
there's a political
protest happening?

I can confirm that.

Can I get your names?
[ Chase ]
Yes, you can.

- This is Lucy Spanks--
- Hey, kids. This here's all
gonna get shut down right now.

What?
Who says?

No political assembly
permit's been filed...

for this location.
You're out of here, pronto.

You know what? I have
one word for you, Officer,
and that's "First Amendment."

Two words.

I want you to head west
down the sidewalk and take
your table and your--

I want you to respect the fact
that we pay taxes and we have
a right to be here, okay?

- John!
- Just 'cause you have
a mustache and a gravelly,

authoritative voice,
doesn't mean we're going
anywhere, Officer "Snay-ad."

- Snead.
- Have you forgotten
this is America?

That's what hippies
like you always say.

[ Camera Shutter Clicks ]

So, how long do you folks
figure you'll be at this?

As long as it takes.

[ Chase And Lucy ]
As long as it takes.

As long as it takes.
As long as it takes.

As long as it takes.
Patriotville,
don't sit down on this one!

[ Together ]
As long as it takes.
As long as it takes.

[ Mutters ]
Michael Moore--
As long as it--

That's how long it took.
Let's go!

[ Together ]
As long as it takes.
As long as it takes.

All right.
As long as it takes.

Keep clapping.
Just move along.
As long as it takes.

As long as it takes.

[ Whirring ]

Hey, Cleve. Cleve!

Cleve!
Cleve!

- What? I'm G.D. workin'.
What do you want?
- We got a problem, okay?

There's a lot of loose talk
out there, spreading like
crabs on payday.

They all smell it comin'.
Got the fever.

I know. Looks like
it's already here.
Yeah.

We, uh--
We gettin' in
over our heads here?

Look.

We just gotta be
making this thing
less complicated, okay?

Yeah.
All right?

You're right.
How do we--
How do we do that?

- I got a plan.
- Always got a plan.

That's-That's right.
You always got a plan.

It's plan "A" too. All right?
We don't even-- We're not even
gonna need plan "B" or "C."

What do I do
in the plan?
What?

- What do I do in the plan?
- You're the fat guy
who asks dumb questions.

You're the numbers man,
you bozo.

Oh. Show him this.
Hey. Yeah.

Solved one problem.
Oh.
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.

Man, look at that, would ya?
Get a load of her, huh?
I could sting that honeybee.

- Hey.
- What?

Okay. Look.
I'm two seconds away...

from using this
on your pubes.

Now get the "F" out of here,
all right? Before I kick you.
Okay.

- What is this?
- It's wrong.

Well, I'm glad
we're on the same page.
Now look.

There's big things
happening-- things I'm not
at liberty to talk about.

There is a major
comeback under way here.

But a Revere goin' around
speakin' Karl Marx
type shit in this town--

don't you cut me out
of what I got comin'.

Okay, Dad, first of all,
I'm no communist,

and I know about
the casino, all right?

- You don't know shit.
That's a secret.
- Dad, what's with the pool?

I'm fixin' it.
With what?

With a loan.
Now's the time.

Wait a minute.
A-- A loan from where?

From a friend.
A fella. This dude.

[ Sighs ]
Oh, Jesus.

Hey. I've done
my homework,

so just once in your life,
I want you to have
some faith in your poppy.

Dad, I started a petition...

for the town to vote
on the casino.

Foolish, foolish,
foolish youth.

I don't care
if you are Marx or Lenin
or Pol Pot or Gorbachev--

Dad, please drop
the communist thing.
I'm not a communist, okay?

I don't care if
you're a communist or--

or a Leninist
or a Maoist type.

I just want you
to drop this shit
and get out of the road.

I'm comin' through.
You hear me?

- What does that mean?
- Yeah.

Um-- Clear the road--
No, I know--

- 'cause I'm coming through.
- Hey, Vic.

Would you come here for a sec?

Would you tell my dad
I'm not a communist?

He not a communist.
Thank you.

And he knows me just about
better than anybody else
in this town. My point is, Dad,

there are people here who want
to keep the town the way it is.

Vic, do you want
a casino in this town?

No.
Thank you.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure.

A hundred percent?
110%, sir.

Oh, by the way, Vic,
uh, did you put the--

You don't have to write--
You can write
"Native Americans."

You don't have to write
"Not Indians."
No. American.

[ Chase ] Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Cool. Thanks, man.
You're welcome.

What's up with your dad?
[ Chuckles ]
I don't know.

Little man
with a big plan.

What about your
revolución?

Oh. [ Scoffs ]
What, are you kidding?
He doesn't understand.

That doesn't
surprise me though.

You ever seen
The Joy Luck Club?

Yeah. No, yeah.
I've seen that.

What about it?
It's good. Good movie.

Do you really think
that some petition...

is gonna stop this casino...

or get some girl?
I don't know.

Feels like something's
gonna happen though.

Well, something is better
than nothing.

So that's good.

Yeah.

Hope is a funny thing.

It's a line from
Joy Luck.

[ Grunting ]
Yeah. Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo!
[ Grunts ]
Yeah!

Ding-dong!
Ding-dong!

[ Grunts ]

¶ [ Light Jazz ]

No.

No. I don't think so.

No.

It's just over,
the way it should be.

Are you punishing me
for something? Huh?

Is it that Revere kid?

He's a boy.

Look. Lucy,

don't "F" with me.

- I know your type.
- "F" with yourself, Cleveland.

I'm no type.

And if I was,

I'm not anymore.

[ Sighs Deeply ]

Good luck
finding your clothes.

Yeah. I hid 'em.

[ Chuckles ]
Supposed to be a game,
you know,

but, uh, well,
now it takes on a different
connotation, doesn't it?

[ Laughs ]

See?

Vic, are you familiar
with the concept of feng shui?

See, what I'm seeing here
is just greens and blues,

like an oasis
in a desert.

And let's put something
on that pipe.

It's just pokin' out there.

It looks like a--
a pipe.

Let's fix it
and make it "un-pipey."

[ Chief ]
Join us, please.

Your father tells us
you're a scholar of history.

Just a fan.
I don't have, like,
a college degree or anything.

Pieces of paper are worthless.

Green ones.

It's what's in here
that counts.

What do your books
tell you of our people?

The Alguanqua?
[ Sighs ]

Um, to summarize, I'd say
you had it pretty good...

until the new guys
started showin' up.

One cannot fight
a rising tide, huh?

Hmm.
But you did fight.

[ Clicks Tongue ]
We lost.

Massacre of the Alguanqua,
1847.

Yes.

Sorry about that.

Soda?

- No, thank you.
- The next time we go
to Pete's Pottery Barn,

let's see if we can get the--
that naked boy...

that's pissin'
in the pool.

You think
that's too much?

I should say something.
I started a petition
against your casino.

Hasn't gone very far,
but, um, I just thought
I should let you know.

I'm sure you'd build
a great casino.

I just think
we have different priorities.

I don't want it
to be awkward if
we're gonna hang out socially.

We've heard of your petition.

You're a lonely warrior
in your town.

"At the launch
of any great voyage,
there's always a single voice."

Ben Franklin said that.
I think.

"The buffalo who runs
against the herd...

arrives only at
his own demise."

Chief Crazy Horse said that.

Hmm. That's, uh--
I like that one.

[ Rings ]

Patriotville Historical Society.
We're here to bring
the past to life.

[ Man ] Yeah, shut up,
Karl Marx. I heard red's
your favorite color.

Man, you like Russia so much,
move to Canada!
¶ [ Folk Rock Intro ]

Move next to a goddamn igloo!
Say hi to Wayne Gretzky.

Oh, no.
Why don't you move
to San Francisco?

Ooh, I bet they'd like
your pretty face there.

Finally your wig
wouldn't look so weird.

Did you see the paper?
They're capable of way more
than I anticipated.

I know. Democracy
is not so nice.

[ Inhales ]
I just feel like
maybe we're surrounded.

"Surrounded" sounds
too much like "surrender."

People are really pissed off.

[ Man ] Hey there, history man.
How 'bout I come down there
right now...

and we have our own
little Boston Tea Party.

'Cept we ain't in Boston,
and the party's gonna be...

me teabaggin' the shit
out of your pretty little ass
for about an hour and a half...

till you see the merits
of building a casino
in this town.

¶ [ Man Singing, Faint ]

¶ All those lives
headstones, computer drives ¶

¶ [ Continues, Indistinct ]

[ Chase ]
These people are really mad.

Let's just go into hiding.
Hmm?

Let's just drive north
and just keep on driving.

That does sound
pretty good.

But-- But-- But, no.

No, we start running,
there's no telling
where we stop.

This is it. This is
where we make our stand.

Right here.
Right now.

We just weren't
thinking big enough. We gotta
get this thing out there.

Gotta get it out in the open
where everyone can see it. Right
where the mayor doesn't want it.

That's the answer.

That's it.

She's getting you into a war
with the whole town.

[ Scoffs ]
Words to live by,
my friend:

Never trust a virgin.

What?
What does that mean?
What's not to trust?

And-- And make no mistake, man,
I'm getting myself into this.

Smells blue cheese
to me, dude.

What's the worst
that can happen, huh?

The worst-case scenario.

[ Eagle Screeches ]

Some fish,
once you get 'em on the hook,
they're yours.

But other fish,
you gotta kinda wait 'em out...

till they can't
fight you no more.
[ Chuckling ]

Maybe it was
one of them other fish
keyed your truck, Bob.

[ All Laughing ]

[ Bell Dings ]
Hey. Hey.

- Hey.
- How you doin'? I was lookin'
all over for you.

- I started the rally speech.
- That's awesome.

It's a good start.

Any more of them
damn rally posters in here?

[ Man ]
Hell, no.
Threw out every one I saw.

Crackers.

Ding-dong.

[ Lucy ]
What douche bags.

[ Man ]
Over here. Got it.

[ Car Approaches ]

You're the little sneak
that's been rogerin'
my husband behind my back.

What?
Are you insane?

This was under the couch
I got for my wedding.

Yeah.
No, I'll take care of it.

Right.

Bye-bye.

So my son's
the town traitor.

I just wanted
the town to vote on it.
Why is that so wrong?

You lost your job.
Mayor's orders.

What?
I made that place
what it is.

Well, Stover and the boys
are good folk.

They think
if you drop this baloney,
maybe, just maybe,

they can talk the mayor into
lettin' you manage the history
store that's in the new casino.

Oh.

A lot of folks
are gonna be going through
that casino.

They're gonna wanna stop by
and get a little
of that history.

Could be
a real opportunity.

It's just not
what I believe in.
Well,

maybe you could believe...
in it.

Well, if it makes you feel any
better, Dad, I just don't think
I have any fight left today.

That's my boy.

Great... father-son chat.

Hey, Vic?
What?

Could you come here
for a second?
I'm sweeping, mopping.

You need me?
Yeah. I just--

Will you just do me a favor?
Yeah.

Will you just hold me
for a second?

I love you, man.
Thank you.

I love you too.
Thank you.

Chief Many Bulls.

Where the hell are you?

Behind you.
Christ!

Where's the chief?
I am his ears
and his mouth today.

[ Scoffs ]
Your offer was like beads
and trinkets to my people.

65,000's not beads and trinkets.

Listen, Green Acres.
I'm not one of
your bleach-blonde,

shit-for-brains,
hick-town housewives,

and this isn't
a seed store.

It's a casino.

A hundred thousand.

Times 10.

[ Scoffs ]
A million?
Respect has a price.

That's ours.

[ Exhales Deeply ]

Okay.

Can-- Can you help me
get back to my car?

[ Snead ]
You kiddin' me?
One million dollars?

Look. It's worked out.

We found a collateral account
that backs up our school bonds.

Now, it's kinda
supposed to be untouchable.
Shh.

But Stove's gonna work a deal
to lend us half a mil
using that.

Not gonna be a problem
with that.

Yeah. And for the rest,
we put up the courthouse,

city hall
and the park.

Now, Stover's gonna lend us
another $400,000 off that.

[ Stover ]
Sure can.

[ Cleveland ]
And then with that
water repair money,

we get to six zeros.
[ Chuckling ]

Cleve, this is crazy.

We're supposed to pay
a million dollars
that the town doesn't have...

to bribe a bunch of Indians
who might build a casino here?

[ Sighs ]

We are the town council.

Our oath is to protect our town.
That's an important
moral point.

But there's another point,
and it's even better, see.

It's not that they might
build this casino
if we pay this cash.

They have to.

It's called the
"official locating agreement."

And once it's signed,
we got it by law.

Now, I've looked into it.

As long as we don't
pay them anything
until it's signed,

there's zero risk.

Couldn't be sweeter.

You've done it, pal.
[ Chuckling ]

[ Laughing, Screaming ]

I hate fairs.

It's so crazy to think
that if you had
taken my advice,

how different things would be,
and how much happier
you'd be right now.

How about this?
How about just
let's sit in silence?

- Well, I told you so.
- That is the farthest thing
from helping.

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

Chief.

[ Mouthing Words ]

[ Sighs ]
What an A-hole.

Dude.

It sucks because
she's so--

She is so. Indeed.

Seduction...

equals survival
for her.

You know, and it's--
it's textbook F.U.F.

F.U.F.?
What is that?

Fucked-up Father.

Shit.
Right.

Dude, it's vengeful,
slutty behavior with old dudes.

Yeah.
You know,
it's just--

it's clear that
she's just trying to
get back at the old man.

FUFs.

What's sad about it
is that you truly, truly...

believed that
she was falling for you.

It's kind of--
You're kind of an A-hole...

for that.

Damaged goods,
my friend.

Get ya every time.
[ Sighs ]

Don't try to
fix that shit either, dude,
'cause it--

it is broken.

Maybe she needs someone
to believe in her.

You know?
I mean, isn't that what happens
with those damaged girls?

They don't have anyone--
Oh-- No, that's true.

You know, F.U.F.'s are
in constant need
of new saviors to crucify.

So, yeah.
You're perfect for that.

Oh! Looks like
someone's early.

Who is that?

Tracy--

Katie--

Shit.
Wish me luck.

Good luck.

[ Sighs ]

Nice to meet you.

Hey, Digger.
Who's your friend?
What's her name?

Gorgeous.

[ Sighs ]

In vino veritas.
That's Latin.

"In wine there is truth."

It goes double
for whiskey.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Clears Throat ]
Chief, we just have one
condition for this whole thing.

We set the conditions.
Not you.

All we're asking for
is a signed location agreement
before any money changes hands.

What you ask
is not easy.

Excuse me.
No agreement, no money.

There's one more
signature we need.

[ Sighs ]
Which is, may I ask?

Mind if I join?

[ Clears Throat ]

It's funny...

what you can learn
when you just
watch things enough.

You know,
I've been watching a lot
of things around this town.

A lot of things.

It's crazy what people will do
when they smell money coming.

It's like they lose
all sense of themselves.

All sense of what's right...

and what's wrong.

You wanna know what I learned
when I was watching you?

And you?

Yes.

This deal is as clean
as a dog's balls.

Wait, is that
a good thing?

You have our signature.
Deal's done.
[ Gasps ]

You're gettin' a casino.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Whooping, Hollering ]

Hey!
Hey, we're never gonna die!

¶ [ Rock And Roll ]

You're crazy!
You're crazy!

[ Whooping ]

[ Sighs ]

¶ [ Continues ]

Throw the children
in the fire!
[ Cheering ]

Yeah!

[ Cheering Continues ]

Patriotville!

¶ [ Continues ]

[ Tires Screech ]

[ Car Doors Open ]

¶ [ Continues ]

Isn't that the guy
from the newspaper?

Yeah, that's him.
That's the one.

- Hey, that's the guy doing
that petition thing, right?
- Right, right.

- That's the asshole.
- He wants us to sign
that damn petition--

Yeah, you know what?

[ Banging On Car ]

Hey, you're gonna need
a car wash.

[ Zipper Zips ]
Come on, Tim. Piss is
gettin' all over me, man.

Why is it always the guy
thinks he's the smartest
guy in the town...

who's the one
who's got some sort of...

dad who may or may not
have girl parts?

Looks like he's made
out of hot dog meat...

and works at some junk shop...

that he thinks is
some sort of a--

Timmy, name a museum.

Smithsonian.
Yeah, "Smithonian."

Let me ask you something,
'cause I really want to know.

Do you think
that you'll ever do anything--

anything worth
puttin' in a museum?

- I don't know.
- Yeah? You don't know.

Come on, Timmy.

[ Car Starting ]

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Knocking On Door ]

You know, one day,

with any luck,

you'll be like me.

I kept a blind eye
for years.

I guess I was afraid.

I want you to give this
to that boy.

That ain't
'cause I like you,

'cause I don't.

That's for me.

I'm so sorry...

it has to
be this way.

I'm sorry.

Oh, shit.

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Engine Revving ]

[ Digger ]
Come down, you pussy!

We're gonna get
a casino in here. We're gonna
put it on your battlefield.

Do you think that you will
ever do anything--

anything worth
puttin' in a museum?

How much longer
do you think you're gonna be?

[ Groans ]
Probably as long--
as long as possible.

Help me find Chase.
Please.

We had a misunderstanding.
I'm worried.

Let me-- Let me see what
I can do. I'm kinda
in the middle of somethin'.

But, um, could you just, like,
walk around the block?

Please?
Awesome.

[ Digger ]
Well, there's his car.

Jesus.
Finally.

What's he doin' here?
[ Whistles ]

Dude, you left
your lights on.
Chase!

Dude!

[ Sighs ]

What are you doin'?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
What's he doing up there?

Dude!
What are you doin'?
Get down!

[ Lucy ]
Chase!

Dude, if he falls off,
you know this is all your fault.

He isn't gonna fall,
you idiot!
He's gonna jump.

Well, then say something
to stop him.

Don't jump!

That's it? Really?
That's what you came up with?

I'm not good
under pressure.
[ Scoffs ]

I'll field this one.
Chase!

What's up, man?
It's Digs.

Hey, dude.
No one's ever jumped from there.

You're not gonna do it.
Only an asshole...

would do something
that stupid.

- That's how you do it.
- Yeah, exactly.

A total asshole!
You're exactly right.

Thank you for confirming
my suspicions,

and everybody else's
in this town.

Chase, I'm sorry.

Uh, this isn't about you.

Though it is
a related factor, maybe.

Just walk down
like you always do, man.

I gave everything to this town,
and what did it get me?

Huh?

Please?

Too little too late.

Too much too soon!

Dude--

Come on.
You got nothing
to prove by this.

[ Digger ]
Please, come down!

Come on, man!

[ Shouting ]

[ Exhales Sharply ]

Whoa.
[ Chuckles ]

Oh, dude.
Dude!

That was amazing!
I mean, you're a lunatic.

I lost my pants.

That was the stupidest thing
I've ever seen anyone do
in my life.

I don't even know
if I should go look for 'em.

[ Laughing ]

I hit my head
on a catfish, I think.

'Cause I didn't
remember anything after that.

[ Sighs ]
I'm sorry I never told you
about the mayor.

But I did
come to a decision.

Oh, yeah?
No more married men.

Were--
Were there more?

¶ [ Rock Ballad Intro ]

Uh, there was
the principal of my high school.

My first... and third...

high school.

Wow. It's a--

It's a good thing
you didn't go to college.

Have you ever had
a real boyfriend?

No.

[ Sighs ]
But...

I am an optimist.

[ Man ]
¶ There may be ¶

¶ Truth ¶

¶ People understand
outside of you ¶

¶ While one is walking
one is running ¶

[ Lucy, Chase Chuckling ]

[ Lucy Sighs ]
Oh, that was very--

- Very--
- Very--

- Very--
- American.

[ Chuckles ]
American.

It was, actually.
It was quintessential
Americana.

[ Laughing ]
God bless America.

Oh.
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah.

It was a little European
maybe at one point.
Yeah.

I could see that.
[ Chase Chuckling ]

[ Lucy ]
Oh, I almost forgot.

Um, Cleveland's wife
came by my place
and dropped this off.

What is that?

"Rally donation."
Huh.

Maybe you got support
after all.

Maybe I do.

[ Snead On Tape ]
Cleve, this is crazy.

We're supposed to pay
a million dollars
that the town doesn't have...

to bribe a bunch
of Indians who might
build a casino here?

[ Cleveland ]
It's not that they might
build this casino...

if we pay them this cash.

It's that they have to.

It's called the
"official locating agreement."
Holy shit.

As long as we don't
pay them anything
until it's signed,

there's zero risk.

Could not be sweeter.

Do you know
what this means?
[ Chuckles ]

Before it was just municipal
stupidity mixed with mild
infringement of civil rights.

But...

this is
felonious corruption.

This is, uh,
history book shit.

Mmm, no.
Don't say it.

- The rally is back on!
- No. Enough.

What?

Do you know what
it's been like for me
for the last couple of days?

I have people
yelling at me in the street.
"Benedict Arnold." "Traitor."

Someone called me
a terrorist, okay?

I can't live like this.
This is my chance
to prove I was right.

Please, please,
bring this tape to
the courthouse tomorrow, okay?

No. You're doin' this
to get back at the mayor.

That's such--
What?

Are you joking?
'Cause no.
Maybe a little bit.

Yes, very perceptive.
But I-- I-- I swear, most of
my intentions are purely noble.

Ninety-two percent.

It feels too dirty.

You holding that means that
we're in this together.

Okay? Th-That's symbolic.

Just bring the tape.
I'll take care of
everything else.

Promise.
Trust me.

Rally.
Casino corruption revealed.

Thievery revealed.

Our leaders
are lying to us.

You will rise up
against the tyrannous.

Who will rise up with me?

5:00, at the courthouse.

Our leaders are lying.
Casino corruption.

[ Phone Ringing ]

Hello.

Who's this?

[ Chuckles ]
Oh, a friend. Really?

Yeah. Well, I think I know
all my friends already, so--

And how would you know
she has that?

Oh, you just know,
do you?

[ Phone Slams ]

"F."

Hey.
I thought we were
straight on this.

Dad, they got the casino
by bribing, lying and stealing.

We have evidence.
We have hard evidence.
You know what you have?

You have screwed your father.
That's what you have.

You deserved to be fired
from that battlefield job.

I'm the only one--
I run the battlefield.

I'll tell you what.
I'm gonna fire you too.
All right?

You're not gonna live
in the hotel. You're not
gonna work in the hotel.

You haven't paid me
in five years though.

You know what they're saying
about you? Hey?

They're saying
you're a loser, a real loser.
A super loser.

That's a little harsh.
Jesus. I'm still your son.

I don't understand
how you could do this to me.

I'm not--
I... don't get you.

I just don't get you.

Hey, hey.
Where's Lucy?

She's not here.
It's almost 5:00.

It is f--

No idea, man.

Maybe you should just focus
on what you're doing.

I-- I-- Well, yeah.
I need her for what
I'm doing though.

Man, you have got
this entire town
really worked up.

Good.

Man, my parents
are freakin'.

Really?
Everyone
is freakin'.

Really?
Really.

Good.

[ Microphone Feeding Back ]
Oh, sorry. Sorry about that.
Uh-- [ Chuckles ]

But now I got your attention.
So we're gonna get started
in one minute.

In the meantime, we have, uh,
sodas and hot dogs...

that are compliments
of the Patriotville
Historical Society.

Feel free
to get your hands on those.

Um-- Okay.
[ Man ]
Screw the sodas!

We want news!
Okay. Well, uh,
have a little bit of patience.

Uh, I do have information
coming very soon...

that you need to hear,

that has to do
with illegal corruption
and dirty dealings...

and that's happening
right under our town's noses--

uh, the noses of our town.

[ Chase ] So, if you'll just
be patient and bear with me--
Okay.

If you don't have
what you said you have--

Just give me the tape,

and I'll give you
what you want.

You first.

[ Chase ]
Based on the American way.
No.

Good citizens of Patriotville,
we are gathered here...

to talk about something
that we all believe in.

[ Man ]
Money!

[ Laughing ]
No, no, no.

Not-- Not money.
Actually, something a little
more important than money.

Something I like to call
America.

[ Applauding ]
That's right.
I said it.

We're here to talk today
about America.

Because in America
it's supposed to be...

that the government is here
to work for the people.

That's why we have
a democracy.

We vote!
We all line up
and we vote on it.

No lies, no corruption,
no backdoor dealings,
no backdoor handshakes.

Nothing inappropriate
through the back door!
[ Applause ]

In a minute,
I'm gonna play you a tape,

a tape that will
both shock and horrify you,

and yet will educate you--
Now give it to me.

...made by our town's leaders
behind closed doors.

[ Man On Tape ] As you will see,
the Patriotville
battlefield expansion...

will vastly benefit
our community.

[ Man ]
Show us the evidence!

[ All Chanting ]
Show us the evidence!
Show us the evidence!

The truth is--
is flying in
on the wings of freedom.

- [ Chanting Continues ]
- And it will be here
momentarily.

So I-I-- I promise you.
Just eat some hot dogs and soda,

and I just--

[ Snead On Tape ]
We're supposed to pay
a million dollars...

that the town doesn't have
to bribe a bunch of Indians?

[ Woman ]
We want a casino!

[ All Chanting ]
We want a casino!
The truth is coming.

Just trust me.
Take my word for it.
I've heard the tape.

I have all the faith
in the world
that she's coming.

- Or the tape rather--
By "she" I mean the tape.
- We want a casino!

[ Chanting Continues ]

Your father's address.

I always asked you
if you knew.

[ Sighs ]
Why spoil a good thing?

What about
your boyfriend out there?

...include it if I had to
because I believe in its truth.

And I believe in its contents
so wholeheartedly,

that if it were legal,
I would commit myself...

in a sacred union of marriage
to the tape.
[ Door Closes ]

I-- I gave you
the battleship of truth.
Please don't leave.

- Please.
I promise it's coming.
- [ No Audible Dialogue ]

Please, just stay--
We have to stop this corruption,
this un-Americanism.

You-- You all get
a free tour of
the Patriotville battle--

[ Sighs ]
Shit.

How'd it go?

How did it go?
You saw how it went.
It went terrible.

It was probably
the worst-case scenario,

other than
outright assassination.

[ Sighs ]
Shit.

Where is she?

Your rally
ran into that stampede
I was telling you about.

You know it was never
about you guys, right?

He that is incapable
of imagining honor
in an opponent...

is incapable
of honor himself.

Thank you.
That's-- That's very wise.

We've given you
a new name.

Oh. Yeah?

Chase With Plenty Horses.

Oh. What's--
What's that mean?

It means we think
you will go far.

[ Sighs ]
Not in this town, it seems.

Everybody's gotta be
from somewhere.

[ Scoffs ]
It's up to you
where you end up.

Hmm.

Thank you.

[ Car Doors Close ]

[ Sighs ]

I was hitchhiking
to the rally.

Cleveland drove by.

Somehow he knew
about the tape.

He said he'd tell me
where my father was
if I gave it to him.

I don't know
what to do now.

That's a scary envelope
to open.

[ Chuckles ]

I was staring at
those plastic toys
floatin' in the water...

after the rally,

and something
kind of dawned on me.

This is all
my dad ever wanted.

You know, the new toys
in the pool, the...

sharp-lookin' Lodge,
plenty of customers.

This is his dream.

Lots of people like this
in this town.

Everyone's getting
exactly what they wanted.

I don't know. Maybe things
were just supposed to
turn out this way.

How about you?

Maybe I don't
belong here anymore,

guarding some small town's
very minor-league history.

I've never met
anyone like you.

I never met anybody
like you either.

Not even close.

[ Cheering ]

So, uh, when's construction
gonna begin, do you think?

Watch for our smoke signal.

Attaboy.
I knew you guys had
a sense of humor somewhere.

Buffalo who runs
against the herd
arrives only at his own demise.

You do yoga,
Chase from the Lodge?

Everybody's gotta be
from somewhere.

[ Fair Attendees Screaming ]

[ Chattering ]

Yeah, I figured.

Hey! It's the people's army.

What are you
doin' here, Son?

Please tell me you didn't.

Didn't do what, Son?

You're not really getting
what you think you're getting.

Oh. And what would you know
about what we're gettin'?

I'm sorry, Dad.

What do you mean?

[ Beeps ]

A.P.B.
Blue Cadillac convertible.

License unknown.
Full of Indians--

[ Beeps ]
I think.

Guess what
we're doin' right now.

Sittin' on a Caddy.

Sittin' on my Caddy.

[ Chuckling ]

Isn't that crazy?
You bastard.

Are you serious?
Yeah.

Man, you are gonna get
so much ass with this ride.

[ Chuckles ]

Yeah.

You're leavin', aren't ya?

How'd you guess?

I'm your best friend.
¶ [ Country Intro ]

¶ Well, it makes no sense ¶

¶ To me ¶

¶ What I am supposed to be ¶

¶ We could be dancin'
in the dark ¶

¶ Free-fall ¶

¶ You take kindness
to the hole
and it's gone ¶

¶ Sometimes ¶

¶ It's just like sayin' that
you want to get a sunburn ¶

¶ It's my turn ¶

¶ Good-bye, sir
till you meet me
in the next life ¶

¶ It's high time ¶

¶ It's all mine
Can't shake the feeling
I'll be back this time ¶

¶ If I return at all ¶

¶ I know you'll be there
just waitin' for me to fall ¶

Here are the keys
to the station wagon.

Oh, stop it.

You can maybe, uh, sell it.
Pay for the pool.

What do you want me to say?

Nothin'.

Well, I'm not gonna say it.

It's not in my character.

I'll see you later.

¶ Sometimes ¶

¶ It's just like
sayin' that you want
to get a sunburn ¶

¶ It's my turn ¶

¶ Good-bye, sir
till you meet me
in the next life ¶

¶ It's high time ¶

[ Digger Narrating ]
All right. You might think
this is where Chase...

is supposed to explain
the lessons he learned
in the story.

But that would make this
kind of a fairy tale
or something,

when maybe it was just about
the summer my buddy fell
for an unusual girl...

and our town got taken
by some really fake Indians...

and some guy
who wasn't as official
as everyone thought.

My lesson from all that?

Summer's awesome.

Chase used to say that...

"History is the cornerstone
of our nation's past."

I still don't quite understand
what he meant by that.

But maybe he was saying...

life is history
in the making.

And maybe we learn,
and maybe we don't.

But nothing ever
stays the same.

We just keep moving forward...

the best we know how.

Would you like perhaps
to take this opportunity
to apologize...

to the citizens
of Patriotville?

Apologize to the citizens
of Patriotville?
Mm-hmm.

No. I'd like to say, uh,
Citizens of Patriotville,
you're welcome.

You're welcome
for all the hard work
that we did.

And-- And I'm sorry
for loving you so much.

I'm sorry for loving you
so damn much.

- There.
- Have you met any new friends?

Yeah. Made a lot of friends.

Uh, we got a lot of--
a cast of characters in here,
I'll tell you what.

Uh, Pooh Bear.
Um, Jellyfish.
Ooh.

Um--
The Ombudsman.

[ Cleveland ] The Ombudsman.
Uh-huh. What kind of activities
do you two do?

Do you get to listen
to any music here?

Yes. I have discovered
the wonders of hip-hop.

[ Gasps ]
Wonderful.

And, uh, it has-- I don't know--
opened my mind a little bit.

One would say.
Have you learned any-- any
songs that I maybe would know?

Uh, mostly in here
it's just, uh, freestylin'.

The gentlemen inside will, uh--
Well, one will lay down
a funky beat,

or, uh, something.
¶ [ Beatboxing ]

- I feel it first.
- ¶ [ Scatting ]

Then I spit a side. But you
start by going, "Yo. Yo, yo."
¶ [ Beatboxing ]

¶ My name is Cleve
I'm in jail ¶

¶ I wanna leave ¶

That's about it.
Word up. [ Chuckles ]
That's wonderful.

I really do
wanna leave.

¶ [ Guitar ]
[ Man ]
Thank you.

The time for change is here.
[ Audience Cheering ]

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I would just like to say--

[ Man ]
¶ We could be livin'
in another time ¶

¶ The older state
was a state of mind ¶

¶ Look around
It's a brand-new day ¶

¶ Brand-new day
Brand-new day ¶

¶ They say
that now is the future
and change has finally come ¶

¶ The new revolution
American dream ¶

¶ That's right ¶

¶ The next generation ¶

¶ They say
that now is the future
and change has finally come ¶

¶ The new revolution
American dream
Sweet dreams ¶

¶ The next generation ¶

Thank you.

Thank you.

Again, I--
I sincerely thank you.
Please sit.

Now, some have
called me a hero.

But I am just a man.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it bears repeating.

¶ We could be livin'
in another time ¶

¶ The older state
was a state of mind ¶

¶ Look around
It's a brand-new day ¶

¶ Brand-new day
Brand-new day ¶

¶ They say
that now is the future
and change has finally come ¶

¶ The new revolution
American dream ¶

¶ That's right ¶

¶ The next generation ¶

¶ They say
that now is the future
and change has finally come ¶

¶ The new revolution
American dream
Sweet dreams ¶

¶ The next generation ¶

What the "F"
are you talking about?

[ Snead ]
Love nuggets.

Mouth full
of nut sack, Cleveland.

I know-- I know physically
what you're talking about.

Basically what we're describing
is it's a terrible situation.

I don't either.
What?

I don't either.
Are you
answering a question?

Or are you referring to
something we just said?
Yeah.

You said, "I don't either."
Well, I don't know
what he's talking about.

Oh. Okay, so it was only
two questions ago.

Right.
Gotcha.

I think I know.
[ Sighs ]

Well, why not, Stover?
What? What do you know?

I wouldn't like it.

If I could...

bottle you up--

all five of you--

[ All Laughing ]

[ Man ]
Cut! Cut.