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NARRATOR: Once upon a time,long, long ago,
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in the midst of a beautiful green forest...
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(BIRDS CHIRPING)
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... there was a quaint little cottage.
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And in this cottage, there lived three bears.
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The Papa Bear,
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the Mama Bear,
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and the Baby Bear,
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ready to eat their three bowls of porridge.
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There.
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There.
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And there.
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- The Baby Bear said...
- Gee, this stuff's too hot!
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The Mama Bear said...
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(EXCLAIMING) It is too hot!
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And the Papa Bear said...
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(LAUGHING)
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Soup's too hot!
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(SLURPING)
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(GULPING)
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Hot stuff.
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(LAUGHING)
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NARRATOR: Knowing that the porridge wastoo hot, the Mama Bear suggested...
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Come, now, let's all go for a ride
until the porridge cools.
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So she picked up her hat,
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and out the door went the Three Bears,
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the Baby Bear, the Mama Bear,and the Papa Bear.
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And into the beautiful green forest
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rode the Three Bears.
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The Papa Bear,
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the Mama Bear,
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and the Baby Bear.
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Meanwhile, throughthe beautiful green forest
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came Little Goldilocks.
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Suddenly she stopped,and there was a house.
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She knocked on the door.
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Come in, Little Red...
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(CLEARING THROAT)
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(IN FEMININE VOICE) Come in,
Little Red Riding Hood.
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Hey! What is this, a frame-up?
Who are you?
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(STUTTERING) Why, I'm Little Goldilocks.
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Isn't this where the Three Bears live?
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No, this isn't where the Three Bears live!
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That outfit lives two miles down the road
at the first stop signal.
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Now scram out of here
before you spoil everything!
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This is Grandma's dump,
and I'm waiting for Red Riding Hood.
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What's Red Riding Hood got
that I haven't got?
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(CHUCKLES)
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What's Red Riding Hood got
that she hasn't got...
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Say, why didn't I think of that?
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Yeah!
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Let's see, now.
Goldilocks, Goldilocks, Goldilocks...
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Oh, here it is!
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Yeah! That's it!
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Hey, taxi!
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(WHISTLES)
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To the Three Bears' House, and step on it!
I'll take care of any tickets!
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NARRATOR: Speeding homeward to eattheir porridge came the Three Bears.
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(MIMICKING SIREN BLARING)
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(LAUGHING)
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(BLARING AT HIGHER PITCH)
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(BLARING AT HIGHER PITCH)
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Sound kind of like a police car, don't it?
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NARRATOR: Now, up tothe Three Bears'House
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skipped Little Goldilocks.
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She opened the doors.
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But waiting upstairs...
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Meanwhile, through another sectionof the beautiful green forest
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came little Red Riding Hood.
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Up to Grandma 's house.
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She opened the door.
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Grandma! Oh, Grandma!
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NARRA TOR. After eating the porridge,up the stairs went sleepy Little Goldilocks.
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(TELEPHONE RINGING)
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- Oh, hello, Goldie?
- Yes!
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This is Red Riding Hood.
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Say, kid, I just found a note
on my Grandma's pillow
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from that skunk, the Wolf.
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Here, take a look.
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Well, gee, thanks a lot, Red. See you later.
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(COIN RATTLING)
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NARRATOR: Hurrying home totheir porridge came the Three Bears.
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And they ate mine all up!
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(GASPING)
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(SNEEZES)
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ALL: Robbers!
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Now, Ma, you and Junior stay right here.
I'll go upstairs and take care of that crook.
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(LAUGHING)
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I know there ain't no robber up there.
Just a little tiny girl named Goldilocks.
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(WHISPERING) I read this story last week
in Reader's Digest.
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(LAUGHING)
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You come out of that bed,
you cute little curly-headed rascal!
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(LAUGHING)
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(STAMMERING)
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NARRATOR: So, over the hillwent the Three Bears.
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The Papa Bear, the Mama Bear,
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and the Little Bear behind.
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