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CHARLIE: First of all,
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I'd like to say I-I personally
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didn't think any of us
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would be standing
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in front of you
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here today.
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No, no, I mean...
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Shit, no.
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I thought we were
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going straight to hell.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Right, well...
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But that being said--
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I mean, we're good people.
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Oh, yeah.
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I did what I did.
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You don't like it,
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you can kiss my ass.
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Oh, oh.
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Easy, easy.
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Hey, could we be judged
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individually?
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'Cause I don't want
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to be lumped in with him.
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Look, I know
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you're gonna judge us.
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But before that
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cruise ship went down,
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we prayed. Yeah.
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Oh, yeah.
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Yes. Yeah.
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I mean, like, sure, we've
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done some bad things,
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you know, but-but we've
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changed, I promise.
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I'm gonna
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walk you through how.
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Mm-hmm.
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So please just reserve
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your judgment, okay?
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Because once we're finished,
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I'm sure you will
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judge us accordingly.
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Mm-hmm.
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(chuckles softly)
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Goddamn, this ship
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is the tits!
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Frank, Frank, watch
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your language. You know?
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This is a Christian
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cruise.
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Yeah, and I got to say, winning
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raffles, going on cruises--
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I like this new church
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of yours, Mac.
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I think you found
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the right one.
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Yeah.
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Oh, I didn't find
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them. They found me.
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Ah.
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And it's all, of course,
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a part of God's plan.
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It's also a part
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of God's plan
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that we all get closer
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to him through fellowship.
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Hey, Mac, is God
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gonna be able to protect
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against the ship sinking?
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God protects all things,
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Charlie. He is an awesome god.
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The only way this ship is gonna
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sink is if the captain's drunk.
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Guys, we don't have to worry
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about drunk captains,
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'cause this is the
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dry cruise, remember?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I do.
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And about that, um,
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where exactly does God stand
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on that dry thing?
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Is that a hard, fast rule or
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is there some wiggle room?
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Look, this cruise is an
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opportunity for us to get away
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from the sins of everyday life.
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That being said,
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we will each have to have a half
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a cap of mouthwash every day.
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You know, just to stave off
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the shakes.
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Smart, smart.
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Don't want to get sick.
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Yeah.
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Oh, thank God.
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Okay, guys, I am gonna head up
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to Bible study right now.
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Oh.
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Oh, right now.
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Uh, this is our suite. Yeah, you
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guys can check in or whatever.
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But the... Do you want
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to meet me there?
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Do we?
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Yeah, yeah,
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we'll, we'll...
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We got to...
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set our bags down
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and then, uh...
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Yeah, we... I have to
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unpack, I always do.
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All right. Peace
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be with you.
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All right.
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Okay.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...
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You're supposed to say,
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"And also with you."
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Why is that?
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Would you say...
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I'm not gonna say that.
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Uh, you know what,
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I'll say it,
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if it's gonna help you
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get out of here
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and go to your Bible study.
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But I'm not gonna mean it.
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Oh, you don't have to mean it.
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Yeah, you just have to say it.
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Okay. And also with you. Bye.
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Guys, this is gonna be
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the best cruise ever.
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And also with you.
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Yeah.
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I'm not saying it.
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Take care.
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I'm not saying that.
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Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh.
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You don't have to mean it.
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Mmm.
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Yeah.
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Oh, shit.
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(rumbling growl)
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Yeah.
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I needed that.
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Man, and the beer calms
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my nerves, too, you know
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what I mean? I feel like I could
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drink that whole suitcase.
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Oh, God,
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me, too. But let's not, okay?
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'Cause this is the only
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alcohol on the entire ship.
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Ooh, yeah.
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Yeah. All right, okay.
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That'd be bad.
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But it's time to suit up now,
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so we can get
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into some nonsense.
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What do mean, suit up?
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Did you bring costumes?
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Yeah. Yeah.
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I'm gonna be the captain.
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Charlie's gonna
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be the first mate.
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No, no, no, I-I'm putting
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a stop to this right now.
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No costumes, no high jinks.
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Okay? Can we just... Guys,
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can we take a vacation
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from our usual bullshit?
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You know, I'm not saying
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we got to do the God stuff,
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but let's not--
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let's not do a bunch
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of anti-God stuff either, okay?
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So don't be gluttonous.
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Okay? You--
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no wrath.
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No lust for me. You know,
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which is gonna be difficult,
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given the implications
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of being on a boat.
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All right, well, I'm taking
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a vacation from you guys, okay?
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I'm tired
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of getting shit on.
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All right.
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That's what I'm talking about,
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Dee. Nobody's gonna shit on you.
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Nobody's gonna call you a bird.
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I agree. But first,
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I got to take the cross off
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Oh, yeah.
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that Mac gave us. This thing
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is burning me to shit.
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Yeah, yeah.
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There. Look at that.
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Oh!
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DENNIS: Oh.
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DEE:
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Oh! Goddamn, Frank.
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Oh, my God.
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You might actually
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be the devil.
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Jesus, I'm gonna
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take mine off, too.
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I could be Satan.
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(laughs)
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Screw God!
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(thunderous horn blows)
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Whoa, whoa, what-what was that?
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Did-did God do that?
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No, no, no.
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Don't go crazy on the
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God stuff, all right?
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That being said, the timing
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of that big boat noise was...
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pretty suspect, so, Frank,
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maybe don't push his buttons?
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Yeah.
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I get that.
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Yeah.
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All right, I'll leave him alone.
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Hey, Mac.
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We are about ready to get
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started. You feeling okay?
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Yeah, David. It's good.
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I-I just, uh,
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was waiting on my friends.
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They said they were gonna be
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here and they're not here yet.
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I should have taken on
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a missionary position with them.
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You know?
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They need salvation.
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Especially my one
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friend, Frank.
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I even started putting
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battery acid on the back
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of his cross necklace
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to burn through his skin.
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Why?
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Oh, to subtly send the message
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that he might be a demon.
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Oh, well, yikes.
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Uh, listen, when your friends
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are ready, they'll come.
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Right, yeah. You know, we
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should just get started.
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Scott, you ready to go?
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Yup, yup.
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All right,
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everybody, why don't
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we gather around.
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Why don't we, uh...
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Well, let's just...
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We'll sing through it once
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and we'll get it on its feet.
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(upbeat tune playing)
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Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
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whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
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guys...
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what's that song?
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I-I'm not familiar
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with that hymn.
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Uh, the song's "Sit Down,
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You're Rockin' the Boat"
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from Guys and Dolls.
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It's for the talent show.
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We do it every year
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on this cruise.
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It's fun.
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Fun? No, no, the songs
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aren't supposed to be fun,
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they're supposed to
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be bleak and dreary,
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so we can focus on
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how bad we are.
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Yeah. We need to
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punish our ears
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to pay for the original
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sin of being born.
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Mac, look, uh, I know
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it can be difficult
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transitioning into a new church.
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All we ask is that
293
00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:14,190
you try to keep an open mind.
294
00:05:14,232 --> 00:05:16,192
Okay, I... Maybe
295
00:05:14,232 --> 00:05:16,192
I can do that.
296
00:05:16,234 --> 00:05:18,402
I... But, guys, I can
297
00:05:16,234 --> 00:05:18,402
almost guarantee you
298
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:21,363
that I'm not gonna like this.
299
00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:22,990
♪ Said to myself sit down ♪
300
00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,992
♪ Sit down,
301
00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,992
you're rockin' the boat ♪
302
00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:27,161
♪ And the devil
303
00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:27,161
will drag you under ♪
304
00:05:27,203 --> 00:05:29,038
♪ With a soul so heavy
305
00:05:27,203 --> 00:05:29,038
you wouldn't float ♪
306
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,373
♪ Sit down, sit down, sit down,
307
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,373
sit down, sit down ♪
308
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:34,376
♪ You're rockin' the boat! ♪
309
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:36,378
Yes!
310
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,379
Yes!
311
00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:40,382
Yes! Yes!
312
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:43,385
I feel like I've been waiting
313
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:43,385
for this my entire life.
314
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,263
Good.
315
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,263
We're glad you had fun.
316
00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:46,889
Yes, yeah.
317
00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:46,889
I'm ready to go again.
318
00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,266
Well, you've already gone twice.
319
00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,266
We're sort of
320
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,433
taking turns...
321
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,433
We're gonna go
322
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,643
from the top. Five,
323
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,643
six, seven, eight...
324
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,812
These winter coats
325
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,812
were a good idea-- it is chilly.
326
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,812
Yeah.
327
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,314
Come in handy.
328
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,314
You don't want...
329
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,648
They're cranking
330
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,648
the air conditioning.
331
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,900
Yeah, you don't
332
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,900
want to be sick on a boat.
333
00:05:57,942 --> 00:06:00,278
Whoa, look at this place.
334
00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:01,779
I think we died
335
00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:01,779
and went to heaven, Frank.
336
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,697
Oh. Dude.
337
00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,407
I thought you said they
338
00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,407
didn't have alcohol.
339
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,450
Look, they-they
340
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,450
got screwdrivers.
341
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,785
Oh, no, Charlie.
342
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,620
That's just orange juice.
343
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,289
There's no alcohol.
344
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,289
Just orange juice,
345
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,289
like the mixer?
346
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,124
Yeah.
347
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,124
Yeah, people drink it.
348
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,625
People drink it. Yeah.
349
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,625
That's crazy to me.
350
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,710
When was the last time
351
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,710
you drank straight mixer?
352
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,670
Oh, I had a diet cola mixer
353
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,670
a while ago.
354
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,838
Oh, did you?
355
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,838
(burps)
356
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,048
Was it any good?
357
00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:23,050
Yeah, oh, yeah.
358
00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:23,050
Whoa. (sniffs)
359
00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:24,593
What?
360
00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:24,593
Dude.
361
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,428
You drinking a beer
362
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,428
right now?
363
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,889
What? Get out of town.
364
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,515
You can lie, but that burp
365
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,515
told me the whole story.
366
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:31,850
You holding?
367
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:31,850
What you got?
368
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,435
You smell the beer?
369
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,435
You holding beer?
370
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:34,853
Come on, man.
371
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,230
Bingo!
372
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,230
(laughs)
373
00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:37,481
MAN:
374
00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:37,481
Excuse me.
375
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,317
You can't have alcohol
376
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,317
on the ship.
377
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:40,442
Oh, this, uh,
378
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:40,442
this is an empty.
379
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:42,278
That-that was
380
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:42,278
an empty can.
381
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,695
A pelican dropped
382
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,695
it and we...
383
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,695
Yeah, we picked it up.
384
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,822
Yeah, it was, like...
385
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,822
Do you have
386
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:45,823
any more on you, sir?
387
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,449
No, not a bit.
388
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,449
Yeah.
389
00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:49,827
What's going on here?
390
00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:49,827
Uh, uh, Captain.
391
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,453
Do you have any more
392
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,453
alcohol on you?
393
00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:52,454
Uh, not a bit.
394
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:55,040
If you'll excuse me. Yup.
395
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,458
Whoa!
396
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,085
What the hell
397
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,085
is that, Frank?
398
00:06:58,127 --> 00:06:59,544
Well, I don't want
399
00:06:58,127 --> 00:06:59,544
to run back and forth
400
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,463
to the cabin all the time,
401
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,463
it's so far away.
402
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:02,756
Son of a bitch!
403
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,633
And you--
404
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,633
you have any beer on you?
405
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,969
Aah!
406
00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,470
Charlie, you lied to me.
407
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:10,055
Uh, well, you
408
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:10,055
lied first, man!
409
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,057
Is that the rest of it?
410
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,057
Yeah, that's
411
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,057
all of it.
412
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,851
We have to confiscate
413
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,851
all these beers from you.
414
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,851
Okay.
415
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,227
Yeah, yeah,
416
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,227
yeah, got it.
417
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,528
DEE:
418
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,528
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
419
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,528
No, no, no, no.
420
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:26,071
That's my seat, bitch.
421
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,489
Excuse me.
422
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,325
Sorry. Got a little worked up.
423
00:07:29,367 --> 00:07:31,076
Uh, not quite
424
00:07:29,367 --> 00:07:31,076
in vacation mode yet.
425
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,494
Let me try again.
426
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:35,164
Um, please get your shit
427
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:35,164
off my seat.
428
00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:37,499
I don't see your magazine
429
00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:37,499
or towel on it,
430
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,418
and I got here first,
431
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:43,005
so I don't feel like
432
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:43,005
it's really your seat.
433
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,513
I'm sitting with you.
434
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,513
Thought you were taking
435
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,513
a vacation from us.
436
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,557
Yeah, I was trying,
437
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,557
but this is the only seat open,
438
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,100
so can you try not
439
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,100
to shit on me
440
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,518
for, like, the next hour
441
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,518
or so, please?
442
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:57,811
I'm trying to relax.
443
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:57,811
Dee, relax.
444
00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,521
I'm not gonna shit on you.
445
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:01,232
Okay? Nobody's
446
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:01,232
shitting on you.
447
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:02,983
How's it going
448
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:02,983
with the wrath thing?
449
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,526
You, uh, staying
450
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,526
away from that?
451
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:06,028
Well, yeah, you know,
452
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:06,028
I was trying,
453
00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:07,529
but there are certain
454
00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:07,529
"see you next Tuesdays"
455
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,448
on this ship that are making it
456
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,448
very difficult.
457
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,782
Well, yeah, I
458
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,782
feel you. I'm...
459
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,534
I'm already struggling
460
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,534
with the lust thing.
461
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:15,454
See this, uh,
462
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:15,454
flaxen-haired seductress
463
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,830
across the pool over here?
464
00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:18,916
Dennis, she looks like
465
00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:18,916
she's 12 years old.
466
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,918
No, she's of age.
467
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,918
I checked.
468
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,795
Well, she's gallivanting
469
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,795
around, you know,
470
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,547
flaunting it for me,
471
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,547
and she knows how easy
472
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,132
it would be for me
473
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,132
to have her, too,
474
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,550
because of the
475
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,550
implication.
476
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:29,968
Not that you
477
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:29,968
would understand.
478
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,720
It's not what
479
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,720
you think it is.
480
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:33,555
No, I think I get it. We're out
481
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:33,555
in the middle of the ocean.
482
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:35,433
She's stuck on a boat.
483
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:35,433
She couldn't possibly say no,
484
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:38,436
'cause something might go wrong
485
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:38,436
for her if she did.
486
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:39,978
That's... that's
487
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:39,978
exactly what it is.
488
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,605
How did you get
489
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,605
that so fast?
490
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:45,067
It's like
491
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:45,067
when I'm alone with a guy,
492
00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:48,028
and we're messing around, and he
493
00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:48,028
gets all skittish about banging.
494
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:51,573
So then I insinuate
495
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:51,573
that it would be a shame
496
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:54,452
if my account of what happened
497
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:54,452
was different from his
498
00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:56,370
and then he ended up getting
499
00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:56,370
a call from the sheriff.
500
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:57,871
You know what I mean?
501
00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,582
And then, boom. We plow.
502
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,752
Okay. Yeah. No,
503
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,752
I-I think I get it.
504
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,587
Yeah, right?
505
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,587
Right, yeah.
506
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,587
Yeah. Yeah.
507
00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:07,089
(gasps)
508
00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:07,089
Oh, my God!
509
00:09:07,131 --> 00:09:09,216
Oh, a bird shit on me!
510
00:09:07,131 --> 00:09:09,216
Oh.
511
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:10,301
A bird shit in my mouth!
512
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,676
A bird shit inside
513
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,676
of my mouth!
514
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,220
(muttering gibberish)
515
00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:14,596
I'm literally getting shit on.
516
00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,265
I'm literally
517
00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,265
getting shit on!
518
00:09:16,307 --> 00:09:18,809
Hit it! Hit it!
519
00:09:16,307 --> 00:09:18,809
Hit it!
520
00:09:16,307 --> 00:09:18,809
Whoa!
521
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,603
Oh, yeah!
522
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,603
Hey.
523
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,522
Hey, fellowship
524
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,522
was fun.
525
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,522
Yeah, see?
526
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,607
It doesn't have to be all dour
527
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,607
and penitent to praise God.
528
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,443
Is it my turn?
529
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,443
Absolutely.
530
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,443
Step up.
531
00:09:27,485 --> 00:09:28,777
Okay.
532
00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:31,530
Aah! No!
533
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,615
I failed!
534
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,615
It's okay.
535
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:34,866
I failed.
536
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:34,866
I failed you.
537
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:34,866
Nah.
538
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,494
No.
539
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,494
I failed God.
540
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:39,621
All right, get me good.
541
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:39,621
Whoa.
542
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:40,914
Hello.
543
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:40,914
What is...?
544
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,624
I brought
545
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,624
my cat-o'-nine-tails.
546
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,624
Yeah.
547
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,084
You know, so, flagellate me.
548
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,084
Three-three lashes for missing.
549
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,837
Why would you want me
550
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,837
to do that?
551
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,880
So I could be
552
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,880
a better boy.
553
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,674
Mac, it isn't a sin to miss,
554
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,674
okay? That's...
555
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,468
We don't punish ourselves
556
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,468
for that.
557
00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:54,052
You don't punish yourselves?
558
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,138
Then how do you become
559
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,138
closer to God?
560
00:09:56,180 --> 00:10:00,017
By just appreciating the game
561
00:09:56,180 --> 00:10:00,017
and the wonderful day.
562
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,726
Well, sure, yeah,
563
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,726
it's a wonderful day now,
564
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,562
but look at that storm coming.
565
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,105
(thunderclap)
566
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,105
That's impending doom
567
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,105
right there.
568
00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:08,025
He-he probably sent that storm
569
00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:08,025
because I keep failing him.
570
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,652
Look, just relax, try it again,
571
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:13,155
and this time, hey, no guilt.
572
00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:15,115
No guilt?
573
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:16,992
Okay.
574
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,537
Oh, my.
575
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,537
Yes!
576
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,372
I did it! I did it!
577
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,372
All right.
578
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,956
In your face!
579
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,956
I beat your asses.
580
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:25,501
(thunder rumbles)
581
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:25,501
Whoa. Gay. Gay.
582
00:10:25,543 --> 00:10:26,710
Gay, gay, gay, gay.
583
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,670
What are you doing?
584
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,670
Why are you two kissing?
585
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:31,549
Uh, because he's my husband,
586
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:31,549
and we love each other.
587
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,091
What's going on?
588
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,676
What-what about God?
589
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,676
You-you heard him.
590
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:38,389
He clapped and said, "No! Boom!"
591
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,350
You think thunder
592
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,350
is God clapping?
593
00:10:41,392 --> 00:10:42,851
Oh, no.
594
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:45,521
Oh, no.
595
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:45,521
(thunder rumbling)
596
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,487
FRANK:
597
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,487
You think there's gonna be
598
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,487
anybody here with talent?
599
00:10:53,529 --> 00:10:54,738
I mean,
600
00:10:53,529 --> 00:10:54,738
this is a Christian cruise.
601
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,365
This is gonna be boring as shit.
602
00:10:56,407 --> 00:10:58,576
I'm anticipating
603
00:10:56,407 --> 00:10:58,576
a boring show.
604
00:10:58,617 --> 00:10:59,868
Yeah, yeah.
605
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,370
Oh, there she is.
606
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,370
Hmm.
607
00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:03,080
Sitting by me
608
00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:03,080
again, huh?
609
00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:03,080
Shut up.
610
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,998
I need something to wash the
611
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,998
bird shit taste out of my mouth.
612
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,708
Oh, yeah.
613
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,708
I saw you guys.
614
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,708
Where are the beers?
615
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,293
In the captain's stomach.
616
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,711
Yeah.
617
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,711
CHARLIE:
618
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,711
Yeah, it's, uh...
619
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:10,795
We kind of got, like,
620
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,172
you know, caught with them.
621
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,298
All of them?
622
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,716
Yup.
623
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,716
Pretty much, yeah.
624
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,718
I knew you couldn't stop
625
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,718
from being gluttonous.
626
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,178
Oh, you guys.
627
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,178
Uh, all right, fine...
628
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,178
It was a mistake, man.
629
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:20,639
Give me the mouthwash.
630
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:20,639
I need the mouthwash then.
631
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,433
That's gone, too.
632
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,433
I kind of drank...
633
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,433
all of it.
634
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,226
Charlie drank it.
635
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,226
He needed to calm down.
636
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,226
You serious?
637
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:26,520
Goddamn it!
638
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:26,520
(thunder rumbles)
639
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:27,896
It doesn't do... Oh.
640
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:27,896
(electrical buzzing)
641
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,398
Whoa. Whoa. See. Oh!
642
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,316
See, I don't like
643
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,316
the storm, man.
644
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,734
The storm's starting to freak
645
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,734
me out. You know what I mean?
646
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,778
Yeah, WTF?
647
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,778
Yes, yes, the storm
648
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,778
is intensifying.
649
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:37,239
And yet I remain calm
650
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:37,239
in spite of the fact that this
651
00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,740
one here is
652
00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,740
dressed like this.
653
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,367
Uh...
654
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,367
That's just crazy.
655
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,367
Yeah, it is weird.
656
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:42,453
This girl in the sweater?
657
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:42,453
He's been doing it all day.
658
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,204
You think that's...?
659
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,204
Can you just...
660
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,204
can you just drop it?
661
00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:45,539
Well, I would if she wouldn't
662
00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:45,539
always be sitting in my eyeline.
663
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:47,999
Then again, that
664
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:47,999
is what she does.
665
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,668
She wants me
666
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,668
looking at her at all times.
667
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,753
She's driving me nuts,
668
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,753
I'll tell you.
669
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,755
Maybe I'll send her
670
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,755
a drink or something.
671
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,341
A virgin daiquiri
672
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,341
for the virgin?
673
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,341
MAC: Guys, guys, guys, guys,
674
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,760
guys, guys, guys, guys, I've got
675
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,760
news, I've got terrible news.
676
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:01,263
Oh, see this is exactly
677
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:01,263
what I wanted a vacation from.
678
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:01,263
CHARLIE: Of course you do.
679
00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:03,348
There are two guys
680
00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:03,348
in this church...
681
00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:03,348
DENNIS:
682
00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:03,348
Yeah.
683
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,766
...that are gay.
684
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:05,934
Who's the other guy?
685
00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:09,187
(laughter)
686
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,065
I don't get the joke.
687
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,065
(overlapping chatter)
688
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:15,777
What's wrong with
689
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:15,777
that? So what?
690
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:15,777
Well, guys,
691
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:15,777
being gay is not Christian.
692
00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,655
(electrical buzzing)
693
00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,655
DENNIS:
694
00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,655
Oh!
695
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:19,781
Oh, see? That's...
696
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:19,781
that's freaking me out.
697
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,659
That's the big man!
698
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,659
That's the big man.
699
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,659
I don't know what it is,
700
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:24,202
but I don't like it.
701
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:24,202
Let's go find our beer, man.
702
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,788
We're gonna go snoop around,
703
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,788
see if we can find our beer.
704
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,788
Let's look for some alcohol.
705
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,415
Recover that beer
706
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,415
and bring some back.
707
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,417
Yeah. Don't take 'em all.
708
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,417
And why is...?
709
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,043
MAN:
710
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,043
Ladies and gents,
711
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,045
it's talent show time.
712
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,045
Please welcome
713
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,507
Marlene, the magician.
714
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:39,217
That's the bitch
715
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:39,217
who stole my chair!
716
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,262
Magic? The dark arts?
717
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,262
Are you guys serious?
718
00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:44,806
First the queers.
719
00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:44,806
Then sorcery?
720
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:47,058
This cruise is going
721
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:47,058
straight to hell.
722
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:47,058
Okay.
723
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,811
I'm out of here!
724
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,811
All right. See ya.
725
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:50,812
Peace be with you.
726
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:52,230
We're not saying that other bit.
727
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:52,230
No.
728
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,815
Aah!
729
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,108
For my first trick tonight,
730
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,652
I'm going to need a volunteer.
731
00:12:56,694 --> 00:13:01,532
Hmm. Hey, you, bird girl.
732
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,242
Come on up.
733
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,242
Can you believe
734
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,242
this bitch?
735
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,703
(laughs)
736
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,703
Go. Go up.
737
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,329
I don't...
738
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,329
Bird girl.
739
00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:10,123
Yes, we call her bird.
740
00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:10,123
We also call her a bird.
741
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:12,250
(thunderclaps)
742
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,629
Oh, baby. See? These costumes
743
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,629
are a great idea, Frank.
744
00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:17,047
(laughs)
745
00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:17,047
So we can go anywhere
746
00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:17,047
we want on the ship now.
747
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,923
Anywhere we want.
748
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,923
And nobody's gonna know.
749
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,134
That's not exactly the first
750
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,134
mate's costume I had in mind.
751
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,844
Hey, man, you said
752
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,844
"first mate."
753
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,844
That's gonna do.
754
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,846
I was, like, Gilligan.
755
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,846
That's the only guy I know.
756
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,139
Yeah, no.
757
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,139
It's good. It's good.
758
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,849
All right,
759
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,849
so what do you think?
760
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,142
We find the captain's quarters,
761
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:30,728
kick down the door,
762
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:30,728
find our beer.
763
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:30,728
Oh, no.
764
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,020
Strangle the guy
765
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,020
or something.
766
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,020
Oh, no, no.
767
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,855
That beer? That beer
768
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,855
is long gone.
769
00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:35,232
No, we don't want
770
00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:35,232
to do that.
771
00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:35,232
Drank it, huh?
772
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:36,858
Oh, the party is
773
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:36,858
right down here.
774
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,276
And right down here
775
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,276
below deck.
776
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,276
This is the party?
777
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,737
That's right. This is it.
778
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,737
I don't hear anything.
779
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:41,029
All I see is a bunch of pipes.
780
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,280
How is this a party?
781
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,280
The pipes are the party.
782
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,491
The pipes are the party?
783
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,491
Yeah.
784
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:45,784
What are you talking about?
785
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:45,784
Well, all the booze
786
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:45,784
we're ever gonna need is
787
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,536
running through these pipes.
788
00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:49,871
So, what? Wait, wait. We're just
789
00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:49,871
gonna drink straight boat fuel?
790
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:52,499
No. We're gonna cut it.
791
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:53,584
With what?
792
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:54,918
Mixers.
793
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,128
Hmm?
794
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,128
Mmm.
795
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,924
(chuckles)
796
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,924
Oh, good. Yeah,
797
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,924
you got one of those.
798
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:04,886
(clang)
799
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:04,886
Lord, hear my prayer!
800
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,305
The only reason I went to
801
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,305
this church in the first place
802
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,100
was to become closer to you!
803
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:14,605
Well, that and the other church
804
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:14,605
was getting super Vietnamese.
805
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:17,608
I just need to know my purpose!
806
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,778
I-I used to think it was worship
807
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,904
and then song and dance!
808
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,156
I got to be honest,
809
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,156
I've really taken to it,
810
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,908
and I think musicals
811
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,908
are gonna become
812
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:29,620
a huge part of my life
813
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:29,620
moving forward!
814
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,538
But now
815
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,538
with these gay Christians,
816
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,915
I don't know!
817
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:35,959
I need you to show me a sign
818
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,961
to tell me my purpose here!
819
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:39,504
Maybe some lightning!
820
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,299
Maybe some thunder?
821
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,926
No?
822
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,554
Should I have stuck
823
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,554
with the Vietnamese?
824
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:49,640
Is this your card?
825
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:52,559
(applause)
826
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:54,185
DEE:
827
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:54,185
Can I...
828
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:54,185
can I have the deck, please?
829
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,814
I-I got a trick that'll blow
830
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,814
you guys out of the water.
831
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:59,023
Wait, I'm confused. Is that a
832
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:59,023
challenge or a terrorist threat
833
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,818
to the ship?
834
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,818
(laughs)
835
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,818
(rimshot)
836
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:01,777
(Dee laughs
837
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:01,777
mockingly)
838
00:15:01,819 --> 00:15:03,445
Give me the goddamn deck.
839
00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:04,946
By all means.
840
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:07,407
Pick a card, any card.
841
00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,242
Hmm...
842
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:12,370
Now take a good look
843
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:12,370
at that card, please.
844
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,331
You might want to bring
845
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,331
it a little bit closer,
846
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,834
just so you can see it well.
847
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,834
A little bit closer. Great.
848
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,961
Now, tell me, what
849
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,961
suit is your card?
850
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:23,256
Spades.
851
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:23,256
Spades. Ooh. All right.
852
00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:25,967
Now watch while I turn
853
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:28,970
these spades into stars.
854
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:28,970
Oh!
855
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,555
(gasping)
856
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,555
DEE:
857
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,555
Oh, shit!
858
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,265
Who's getting shit on now,
859
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,265
bitch?
860
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:33,600
MARLENE:
861
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:33,600
What is wrong with you?
862
00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:35,977
You knocked out my tooth!
863
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:39,063
(booing)
864
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:39,063
Did I? That wasn't the plan.
865
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:39,063
I didn't mean to-- I-I'm sorry.
866
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,565
I didn't mean
867
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,565
to do that.
868
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,275
Get off the
869
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,275
stage, bird girl!
870
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,903
She stole my chair at the pool,
871
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,903
and I got so hot about it.
872
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,988
Hey, hey. What?
873
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,988
No, no, no, no, no!
874
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,658
Yeah!
875
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:52,285
What? No. Aw, no, come on!
876
00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:55,288
Well, what is this, boat jail?
877
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:58,500
I'm not
878
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:58,500
a goddamn Somali pirate, okay?
879
00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:00,210
No, wait, wait! Ah...
880
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,712
Goddamn it.
881
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,428
MAN (over radio):
882
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,428
...thunderstorms, capable
883
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,428
of producing gale-force winds...
884
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,848
The storm's worsening,
885
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,848
Captain. What should we do?
886
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,015
FRANK:
887
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,015
Fire the torpedoes!
888
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:17,895
What?
889
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:17,895
Full steam ahead!
890
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:20,188
Christ, not you again!
891
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:20,188
CHARLIE:
892
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:20,188
Frank, I think I found
893
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,065
where he's hiding the beer!
894
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,065
What do you got, Charlie?
895
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:25,318
No, no, it's just, like,
896
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:25,318
wires and stuff. Yeah.
897
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:25,318
Oh, yeah?
898
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,028
Put these men
899
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,028
in the brig.
900
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:30,448
Charlie.
901
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:30,448
Ah, get your hands off...
902
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:30,448
Wait, wait.
903
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,659
I'll dispose of those.
904
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:35,036
Oh, yeah, yeah, I know where...
905
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:35,036
No, no,
906
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:35,036
don't let him drink that!
907
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:37,247
Don't let him drink
908
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:37,247
our torpedo juice!
909
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:40,250
(sighs)
910
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,836
Dee?
911
00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:44,546
What'd you get
912
00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:44,546
thrown in for?
913
00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:47,925
I couldn't control my wrath.
914
00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:47,925
You?
915
00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:47,925
Yeah.
916
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,927
Gluttony.
917
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,927
Yeah.
918
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:52,554
Been drinking boat fuel
919
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:52,554
and shit.
920
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:52,554
Oh, sure.
921
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:54,556
Sure.
922
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:54,556
Yeah.
923
00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:56,892
Oh... hello.
924
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,685
(thunder rumbles)
925
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:02,146
Wow. I'm sorry.
926
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:02,146
Didn't mean to scare you there.
927
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:08,069
Anyway, I, um... I should have
928
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:08,069
introduced myself earlier.
929
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,071
I'm the daiquiri man,
930
00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:12,532
but I suspect you already knew
931
00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:12,532
that, didn't you?
932
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:13,909
(chuckles softly)
933
00:17:13,951 --> 00:17:16,327
Was it good? Was it sweet?
934
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,079
I guess.
935
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,665
Well, it either was
936
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,665
or it wasn't.
937
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,667
Yeah.
938
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,667
Yeah. Of course.
939
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,086
Yeah. No, I had one, too.
940
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,086
It was... it was sweet.
941
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:26,922
You seem sweet.
942
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,674
I've been watching you
943
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,760
and following you, of sorts.
944
00:17:31,802 --> 00:17:33,804
You know, in a good way.
945
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:37,098
So how'd you like
946
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:37,098
that magic show?
947
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,349
Do you enjoy magic?
948
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,979
You know, I-I can
949
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,979
do magic. Whoop.
950
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:44,105
Uh, how did you get that?
951
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:44,105
Get your license?
952
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,690
Don't worry about it.
953
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,944
1996, though. That's good.
954
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,944
That makes the cutoff.
955
00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:51,696
There you go. I
956
00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:51,696
wasn't gonna steal it.
957
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,698
(clears throat)
958
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,698
Um...
959
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,701
So, how about this storm, huh?
960
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,620
I think it's kind
961
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,620
of cool, you know?
962
00:17:58,662 --> 00:18:00,956
Here we are on a boat, you know,
963
00:17:58,662 --> 00:18:00,956
out in the middle of...
964
00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:03,541
out in the middle of nowhere,
965
00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:03,541
and nobody would ever hear
966
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,794
our screams in this wind,
967
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,794
you know.
968
00:18:05,836 --> 00:18:08,129
Oh.
969
00:18:05,836 --> 00:18:08,129
(chuckles)
970
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,924
The thunder's really... It's
971
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,924
throwing this whole thing off.
972
00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:12,926
It's making everything
973
00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:12,926
I say seem sinister,
974
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:15,136
which it's not intended to
975
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:15,136
be, you know what I mean?
976
00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:17,180
What's up?
977
00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:17,180
I-I'm sorry. I have to go.
978
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,850
No, no, no, no,
979
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,850
no. No. Sorry, no.
980
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:22,226
It's... There's nowhere to go.
981
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:22,226
(chuckles)
982
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,146
There's really nowhere to go.
983
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:26,439
You know? So...
984
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:29,359
why don't I, uh,
985
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:29,359
come in your room?
986
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,071
(chuckles)
987
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,071
"Come in your room."
988
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,071
That's not what I meant.
989
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:36,074
I would like to go in your room.
990
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,869
Um, and I suspect that maybe...
991
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,411
you might say no, and yet...
992
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,164
I also feel
993
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,164
like maybe...
994
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:45,959
you wouldn't dare.
995
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:48,003
(screams)
996
00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:52,256
Well, that's not supposed
997
00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:52,256
to happen.
998
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,342
Guys, come on, come on!
999
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,342
It was a misunderstanding!
1000
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:57,095
The storm made it seem
1001
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:57,095
way worse than it is.
1002
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,849
She was never
1003
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,849
in any danger.
1004
00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:01,892
Lust?
1005
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:04,936
Yeah.
1006
00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:11,401
Oh, my God, Mac.
1007
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:13,028
You're soaking wet.
1008
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:13,028
Are you okay?
1009
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,571
Yeah.
1010
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,571
I was out in the rain
1011
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,073
looking for a sign from God.
1012
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,365
I never got the timing right,
1013
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,658
but doesn't matter.
1014
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,201
The point is,
1015
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,201
I thought I was here
1016
00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,203
for you guys to open my mind.
1017
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:25,623
But now I realized
1018
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:25,623
I'm here to close yours!
1019
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,125
I'm sorry, what?
1020
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,836
Guys, I'm here to convert you.
1021
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:32,213
From being gay.
1022
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,716
You want to convert us?
1023
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,716
Yeah!
1024
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:37,218
You realize
1025
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:37,218
how insulting that is?
1026
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,721
How would you like it
1027
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,721
if I tried to convert you?
1028
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,014
Uh... I wouldn't care.
1029
00:19:41,056 --> 00:19:43,016
'Cause that's, like, impossible.
1030
00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:45,226
There's no way you guys could
1031
00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:45,226
convert me to your lifestyle.
1032
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:47,478
Let's give it a shot.
1033
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,233
Well...
1034
00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:54,235
I'm gay.
1035
00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:56,029
Yeah.
1036
00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:56,029
No shit.
1037
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:58,073
Oh, you guys knew this already?
1038
00:19:58,115 --> 00:19:59,449
That you were gay?
1039
00:19:58,115 --> 00:19:59,449
From the day we met.
1040
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:00,825
Oh, my God, I've been trying...
1041
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:00,825
Yeah, always.
1042
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,077
Whoa, really?
1043
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,077
But what's going on?
1044
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,828
Did you just get tossed in here?
1045
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:06,247
Or, like, why are you in here?
1046
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:06,247
Oh, no, I just walked in
1047
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:06,247
on my own.
1048
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,249
What?!
1049
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,249
You let the
1050
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,249
door close behind you?!
1051
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:09,667
I couldn't find you guys.
1052
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:09,667
I wanted to hang out.
1053
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,252
I had something
1054
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,252
important to tell you.
1055
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:13,463
What is it?
1056
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:13,463
There is no God.
1057
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,256
Well, what?!
1058
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,256
What is
1059
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,256
happening right now?
1060
00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:16,340
Why, where are you
1061
00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:16,340
getting this from?
1062
00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:16,340
Yeah, why...
1063
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,968
I was like...
1064
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,968
(sighs) Okay.
1065
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,260
If there was a God,
1066
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,260
there's no way
1067
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:20,845
that he would make me queer,
1068
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:20,845
right?
1069
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,680
I can't, I can't
1070
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,680
listen to this anymore.
1071
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,974
I got to get out of here.
1072
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,974
I can't be around you.
1073
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,892
I've got to get
1074
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,892
out of here!
1075
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:27,185
Got to get out of here!
1076
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,269
What are you squawking about?
1077
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,105
Let me out of here!
1078
00:20:30,147 --> 00:20:31,189
Honestly,
1079
00:20:30,147 --> 00:20:31,189
what's the point anyway?
1080
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,440
There's no meaning to any of it.
1081
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,900
There's no God,
1082
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,900
there's no heaven,
1083
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,276
there's no hell.
1084
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,276
Wrong!
1085
00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:36,778
Oh, I just wanted
1086
00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:36,778
a couple of days.
1087
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,279
Just a couple of days
1088
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,279
away from you guys.
1089
00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:39,363
But I can't escape you!
1090
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,949
You know where hell is, Mac?
1091
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:41,992
You know where hell is?
1092
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:41,992
It's right here.
1093
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:43,534
It's right now.
1094
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,287
We are in hell!
1095
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,790
(yells)
1096
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,790
Oh, Jesus.
1097
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:51,292
(horn blaring)
1098
00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:53,711
What the shit was that?
1099
00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:32,333
(trumpet plays off-key fanfare)
1100
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:33,710
Brown.
1101
00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,670
Captioned by
1102
00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,670
Media Access Group at WGBH
64236
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