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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:05,506 DENNIS: Okay, gather round, 2 00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:05,506 everybody, gather round. 3 00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:06,966 Gather round, please. 4 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,718 Yeah, I-I have 5 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,718 a, uh, a presentation. 6 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:10,511 Now, because of everyone's 7 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:10,511 A.D.D., I know I'm gonna 8 00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:12,054 lose your attention in 9 00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:12,054 about three minutes, 10 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681 and, uh, Frank's 11 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681 gonna fall asleep. 12 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681 FRANK: No way. 13 00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:16,058 I slept 26 hours 14 00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:16,058 last night. 15 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,561 You still seem very sleepy. 16 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,561 Can I start my presentation? 17 00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:21,105 Where's the easel? 18 00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:21,105 No, no, I'm not using an 19 00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:21,105 easel-- don't interrupt. 20 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,065 You want me to go get the 21 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,065 projector? 22 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,065 No, I don't want 23 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,065 the projector. 24 00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:25,067 And I don't want the easel. 25 00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:25,067 What are you gonna point with? 26 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,444 Don't want whatever the 27 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,444 hell you're gonna say. 28 00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,237 'Cause it's all gonna be old 29 00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,237 and outdated, all right? 30 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,072 Let me start my presentation, 31 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,072 which is actually about that. 32 00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:31,156 It's about innovation. 33 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,367 Not taking questions. 34 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,367 Goddamn. 35 00:00:33,409 --> 00:00:35,286 Let me do my thing, okay? 36 00:00:33,409 --> 00:00:35,286 Stop interrupting. 37 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:39,164 Okay, so, um, as we all know, 38 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:39,164 um, tomorrow is St. Paddy's Day, 39 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,083 traditionally our 40 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,083 most profitable day. 41 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:44,336 However, recently, profits 42 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:44,336 have been declining. 43 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:47,089 Every year. 44 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:47,089 And we need to change. 45 00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:48,591 We need innovation. 46 00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:50,175 We need to move Paddy's 47 00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:50,175 from the past and into... 48 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,178 the future, 49 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,178 a mobile Paddy wagon. 50 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,097 Now, these days, people like 51 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,097 to have things on demand. 52 00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:57,391 So instead of having 53 00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:57,391 to go to a bar, 54 00:00:57,433 --> 00:01:00,102 we will bring the bar to you. 55 00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:02,605 Ooh, is that, like, a car 56 00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:02,605 service type of thing? 57 00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:04,607 Where we pick people up and 58 00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:04,607 take 'em around from bar to bar 59 00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:06,108 and jack up the prices? 60 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,986 That's actually 61 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,986 a really good idea. 62 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,986 Uh, no. 63 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,988 The Paddy's wagon 64 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,988 is the bar. 65 00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:11,280 MAC: No, Dennis. 66 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:12,740 If we want to make money, 67 00:01:12,782 --> 00:01:14,617 we need to honor ancient 68 00:01:12,782 --> 00:01:14,617 Irish traditions, 69 00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:17,411 like serving an irresponsible 70 00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:17,411 amount of booze to people 71 00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:19,371 who are genetically predisposed 72 00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:19,371 to having alcohol problems. 73 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,790 CHARLIE: Right. 74 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,790 MAC: You see, 75 00:01:20,832 --> 00:01:22,124 St. Patrick started 76 00:01:20,832 --> 00:01:22,124 that tradition, 77 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,584 and that's why we 78 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,584 celebrate him today. 79 00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:25,127 Yeah... No, that's 80 00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:25,127 not what he did. 81 00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:27,046 No, he-he played 82 00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:27,046 the flute for some kids, 83 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,840 and then he lured them 84 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,840 into a cave somewhere, 85 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,341 and he diddled them. 86 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,341 FRANK: Nah. 87 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,052 You got him mixed up 88 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,052 with the Pied Piper. 89 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,052 Right. 90 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,179 FRANK: St. Patrick didn't 91 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,179 play the flute. 92 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,139 He drove the kids 93 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,139 out of Ireland. 94 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,516 And then he molested 'em. 95 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,643 No, no, if-if St. Patrick 96 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,643 molested kids, 97 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,353 he would be regarded 98 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,353 as a scoundrel. 99 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,353 No, no, no. 100 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,856 I feel like, in the olden days 101 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,856 of the Catholic Church, 102 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,816 pedophiles were 103 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,816 regarded as heroes. 104 00:01:46,858 --> 00:01:48,150 All right, all right, 105 00:01:46,858 --> 00:01:48,150 look, g-guys, uh, 106 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:50,069 St. Patrick didn't do 107 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:50,069 any of that shit, okay? 108 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,153 He drove the snakes 109 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,153 out of Ireland. 110 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,530 Uh, I-I don't know 111 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,530 about all this. 112 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:53,865 I kind of want to just do 113 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:53,865 the traditional thing 114 00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:55,240 of, like, sticking 115 00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:55,240 around the bar 116 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,035 and-and trying to catch 117 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,035 the leprechaun. 118 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,035 No, no! 119 00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:58,619 No, we don't want to do 120 00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:58,619 the leprechaun thing again. 121 00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:00,621 Stop, stop, guys... 122 00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:00,621 I'm gonna catch one. 123 00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,206 I'm, like, this close. 124 00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,206 You're not gonna catch him 125 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,166 because he doesn't exist. 126 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,166 Guys, please, just, plea... 127 00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,376 Dude, you know what... 128 00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,376 I don't even know 129 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,003 if I've set up 130 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,003 my glue traps for him yet. 131 00:02:07,045 --> 00:02:08,170 Charlie, enough 132 00:02:07,045 --> 00:02:08,170 with the leprechaun! 133 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,881 I mean, can you believe him? 134 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,881 Okay, wait. 135 00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:12,216 Who cares? 136 00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:12,216 Look, I'm trying to... 137 00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:12,216 You know what, 138 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,176 actually-- I might 139 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,176 want to get myself a flute. 140 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:15,970 I was thinking the same thing. 141 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:15,970 We've been talking... you were? 142 00:02:16,012 --> 00:02:17,638 Yeah, because I-I feel like 143 00:02:16,012 --> 00:02:17,638 it's a really fun... 144 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,264 DEE: I know we're 145 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,264 kind of old, but... 146 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,264 You're gonna go get a flute? 147 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,683 Go get a flute, yeah. 148 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,683 Go get... go get a flute! 149 00:02:20,725 --> 00:02:22,184 Everybody go get a flute! 150 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:24,353 DEE: ...in the sixth grade, 151 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:24,353 I feel like it's kind of simple. 152 00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:26,105 Frank, look... 153 00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:28,190 All right, let me 154 00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:28,190 explain it to you, at least. 155 00:02:28,232 --> 00:02:29,274 (snoring) 156 00:02:28,232 --> 00:02:29,274 No, he's gone. 157 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,318 Okay. 158 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,430 So, Frank... here's the plan. 159 00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:02,266 We're gonna fill the wagon 160 00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:02,266 with hip, attractive clientele. 161 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,226 We're gonna use my streamlined 162 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,226 system to process drink orders. 163 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,728 We're gonna take photographs 164 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,728 with a retro filter 165 00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:07,229 for the Web site. 166 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,148 And that will entice 167 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,148 future end users 168 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,150 to comment 169 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,150 and spread brand awareness 170 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,277 over various 171 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,277 social media platforms. 172 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,113 That seems insanely complicated. 173 00:03:15,154 --> 00:03:17,115 Why don't we just take cash? 174 00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:18,323 No, no, no, no. What I'm talking 175 00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:18,323 about's way simpler than cash. 176 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,242 It's-it's streamlined. 177 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:22,453 I'm lost. 178 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:22,453 It's... I'm trying 179 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:22,453 to explain it to you 180 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,288 and I feel like 181 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,288 you're not even listening. 182 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,288 I-I... 183 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,415 (Irish brogue): 184 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,415 Top o' the morning, 185 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,415 you filthy lads. 186 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:30,294 I'm fixing to have a whale of 187 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:30,294 a time in this here mobile pub. 188 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,712 I'm so sorry-- what is this? 189 00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:34,256 Crazy Paddy, 190 00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:34,256 you big, dumb arse. 191 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:36,134 (laughs) 192 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:36,134 Yeah. Why? 193 00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:38,260 'Cause it's fun. 194 00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:38,260 No. 195 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:40,262 I thought that's the thing 196 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:40,262 about St. Patrick's Day-- 197 00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:42,098 people want clownery and-and 198 00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:42,098 they want to embrace 199 00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:44,058 the Irish stereotypes. 200 00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:44,058 No, no, no. 201 00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:44,058 This isn't innovative. 202 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:46,852 It's outdated and it's gonna 203 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:46,852 offend people. 204 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,271 Well, I brought my piece in case 205 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,271 anybody gets out of line. 206 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,271 Oh, I... 207 00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:50,898 Okay, Frank, Frank, 208 00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:50,898 look-- no guns. 209 00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:52,775 Let go. 210 00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:52,775 No guns, no costumes. 211 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,860 Okay, trust me, 212 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,860 I got this. 213 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,570 Frank, you're gonna drive. 214 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,570 Drive. 215 00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:58,072 Okay, Dee, you're 216 00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:58,072 gonna serve drinks. In the back. 217 00:03:58,114 --> 00:03:59,991 As a human being. 218 00:03:58,114 --> 00:03:59,991 A real one. 219 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,283 Mm. 220 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,283 Guys, 221 00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:02,284 I'm gonna provide... 222 00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:03,327 the experience. 223 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:06,080 (Irish jig plays) 224 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:06,080 BOTH: Ooh. 225 00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:07,289 Okay, yeah. 226 00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:07,289 Yeah, right? 227 00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,749 Yeah, I 228 00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,749 like this. 229 00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,749 Nice. 230 00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,918 I... See, I told you. 231 00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,918 I know what I'm doing. 232 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,294 Come on, let's go. 233 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,754 Frank, you're driving. 234 00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:16,256 Okay. Here we go. 235 00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:16,256 (engine starts) 236 00:04:20,136 --> 00:04:23,597 Ho! Check it out, Mac, 237 00:04:20,136 --> 00:04:23,597 got some cool stuff. 238 00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:26,308 I got some green paint 239 00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:26,308 and I found a snake. 240 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:28,811 Great. Why? 241 00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:30,771 You know, the snakes, 'cause, 242 00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:30,771 like, we... I don't remember 243 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,690 where we landed on St. Paddy, 244 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,690 but I remember snakes 245 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,026 were involved. And the green 246 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,026 paint's for the, uh, beer. 247 00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:37,319 Okay, love the snake. 248 00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:37,319 Great catch there. 249 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:39,321 But why not just use food 250 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:39,321 coloring for the beer? 251 00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:40,614 Uh, 'cause beer's not a food. 252 00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:42,324 When was the last time 253 00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:42,324 you ate a beer? 254 00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,160 When was the last time 255 00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,160 you drank paint? 256 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,830 Have you been drinking paint? 257 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,167 No. 258 00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:52,584 Let me see your tongue. 259 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,795 Oh, my God, dude! 260 00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:58,007 Oh, that shit's 261 00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:58,007 just disgusting! 262 00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:58,007 It's not bad. 263 00:04:58,049 --> 00:05:00,342 You... you can't drink paint. 264 00:04:58,049 --> 00:05:00,342 I know. I hear you, 265 00:04:58,049 --> 00:05:00,342 I hear you. 266 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:02,261 You say that, but I don't think 267 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:02,261 that you're gonna stop. 268 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,346 Yeah, I get it, though, man. 269 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,346 It's, uh... Right. 270 00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:06,557 I-I feel like you're saying you 271 00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:06,557 get it, but you don't get it. 272 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,267 It's cool. 273 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,267 It's not cool. 274 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,351 It is what it is. 275 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,351 Oh, my God, 276 00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:10,811 this is so frustrating! 277 00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:10,811 Look, 278 00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:12,354 I'm gonna go down 279 00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:12,354 to the basement 280 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,356 and I'm gonna check 281 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,356 out my glue traps 282 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,983 and see if I, you know, 283 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,983 got a leprechaun in there. 284 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,983 Wait, no, no, no, no. 285 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,443 What... We said 286 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,443 no leprechaun this year. 287 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,362 You're not chasing leprechauns. 288 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,240 I know, and I kind of forgot 289 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,240 where we landed on that. 290 00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,366 I got these great cookie sheets, 291 00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,366 they're filled with glue, so... 292 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,410 But I-I hear you, 293 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,410 I hear you. 294 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,370 It's a frustrating thing. 295 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,370 It's like the guy doesn't 296 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,289 listen to us, man, when we're 297 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,289 trying to get through to him. 298 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,707 It's a bummer. 299 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:37,462 No, not you. 300 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:37,462 Keep moving, let's go, 301 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,464 come on. 302 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,464 You kidding me? 303 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:43,385 Oh, oh, h-hey-hey, 304 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:43,385 there, fellas. 305 00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,054 What's going on? 306 00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,054 Where you going? You know what? 307 00:05:45,096 --> 00:05:47,306 Don't answer that. 308 00:05:45,096 --> 00:05:47,306 Because I already know. 309 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,974 You're going for a ride 310 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,974 in the Paddy's Wagon. 311 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,393 Oh, cool. Is this, 312 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,393 like, a car service thing? 313 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,187 Hey, can you take us 314 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,187 to Center City? 315 00:05:53,229 --> 00:05:55,439 No, it's not a goddamn car 316 00:05:53,229 --> 00:05:55,439 service. Why does everyone... 317 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,566 (Irish brogue): You get in that 318 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,566 wagon right now or I'm gonna 319 00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,568 sock you a good one 320 00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,568 right in the kisser! 321 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,695 (forced laugh) 322 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,695 Yeah, you dumb bi... 323 00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:04,073 What the hell 324 00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:04,073 are you doing? 325 00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:04,073 Uh, just innovating. 326 00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:05,657 I took the Paddy's wig 327 00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:05,657 and I cut it 328 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,576 into an awesome beard. 329 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,576 Great new character. 330 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,576 No. 331 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,786 Hilarious. 332 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,786 You've just created another 333 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,412 offensive Irish stereotype, Dee. 334 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,414 The Fighting Irish-- 335 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,414 i-it's true. 336 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,582 I mean, that's 337 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,582 what Irish people do. 338 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,582 That is not what... 339 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,417 They get drunk, 340 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,417 they fight people. 341 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:16,418 All right, I'm trying to give 342 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:16,418 these guys... Look, guys, 343 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,711 don't pay attention to her. 344 00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:19,297 I-I want to give you 345 00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:19,297 an authentic, um, uh, 346 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:21,006 once-in-a-lifetime 347 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:21,006 experience here. 348 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,259 Oh. Oh, wait, so is 349 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,259 this, like, a bang bus? 350 00:06:23,301 --> 00:06:25,427 No, no, no, no, no. 351 00:06:23,301 --> 00:06:25,427 It's not a bang bus, okay? 352 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:26,804 Look... Just get in the wagon, 353 00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:28,472 I'll give you a ride 354 00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:28,472 to Center City. 355 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,515 Get in. 356 00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,437 DENNIS: 357 00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,437 Gentlemen, 358 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,606 let me walk you through how 359 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,606 our simple business works. 360 00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,233 God, take it easy, 361 00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,233 Frank! 362 00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:41,443 Don't tell me 363 00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:41,443 how to drive, you bitch. 364 00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:44,029 Let... Let's keep it light for 365 00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:44,029 the customers, all right, Frank? 366 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,448 As I was saying, fellas, 367 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,448 uh, what you're gonna 368 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,699 need to do is you, 369 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,699 uh, you're gonna 370 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,118 take a picture 371 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,118 of this QR code, 372 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,619 you're gonna download the app, 373 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,621 log in using Facebook, 374 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,621 and you're gonna watch 375 00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,706 a-a brief, 30-second 376 00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,706 advertisement. 377 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,084 And then once we receive 378 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,084 your online order, 379 00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,543 you will promptly 380 00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,543 be served a beer. 381 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:01,255 Can't I just pay you cash? 382 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:01,255 That's what I... Yeah. 383 00:07:01,297 --> 00:07:02,464 Well, no, cash is the way 384 00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:03,757 that antiquated 385 00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:03,757 companies do business. 386 00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:05,301 Yeah, I just want a beer. 387 00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:05,301 I don't really 388 00:07:05,343 --> 00:07:06,551 want you to have 389 00:07:05,343 --> 00:07:06,551 all my personal information. 390 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,970 "A beer. 391 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,970 Just want a beer. 392 00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:09,388 Don't want you 393 00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:09,388 to have my..." 394 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,848 (Dee and Dennis laugh) 395 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,848 Yeah. 396 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,474 Look, man, um, if I 397 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,474 just gave you a beer 398 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:13,851 and you just 399 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:13,851 gave me cash, 400 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,394 then you wouldn't 401 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,394 be able to experience 402 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,937 everything that we've 403 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,937 got to offer here, okay? 404 00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:19,481 Look, I'll show you. This... 405 00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:19,481 Let me just pull up my... 406 00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,483 I got a little presentation 407 00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,483 here that I put together. 408 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:24,362 But, uh, can't get the goddamn 409 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:24,362 thing to... to go online. 410 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,405 I don't have a signal here. 411 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,405 Goddamn it. You know what? 412 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,532 Dee, uh, why don't you just 413 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,532 give 'em a couple free beers? 414 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,159 We'll-we'll call 415 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,159 'em "freemiums." 416 00:07:30,201 --> 00:07:31,952 Don't know if you're 417 00:07:30,201 --> 00:07:31,952 familiar with that term. 418 00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:34,872 This is like all foam. 419 00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:34,872 Dee, you goddamn bitch! 420 00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,498 Hey! Oh, this thing's 421 00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,498 bouncing around 422 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,916 like a pinball. 423 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,916 Don't blame me. 424 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,501 FRANK: Keep it light, 425 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,501 you bitch! 426 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,086 All right. 427 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,086 Yeah, this is weird. 428 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,796 Can we just get out here? 429 00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:45,590 Hey, it's locked. 430 00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:45,590 Can you guys let us out? 431 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:49,428 No, I'm not gonna 432 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:49,428 let you out. 433 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:49,428 Screw this. 434 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:49,428 I'm calling the cops. 435 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,430 Yeah, call the cops. 436 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,430 Why would you call the cops? 437 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,430 We're just hanging out, man! 438 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,890 All right, stop, 439 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,890 stop, stop. 440 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,599 All right, oh, oh, oh, oh, 441 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,599 oh, oh. Push "end." End. 442 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,686 (phone chimes) 443 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,686 Give the phones 444 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,686 to the girl. 445 00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,980 Let's go, guys. I don't want 446 00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,980 to have to do this shit. 447 00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:02,524 Frank, we got to 448 00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:02,524 pivot the business. 449 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,526 FRANK: 450 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,526 Mm-hmm. 451 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:05,903 Come on, get the hell out. 452 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:05,903 Everybody out. 453 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,529 Out, out, out, out, 454 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,529 out, out, out, out. 455 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,531 All right. 456 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,531 (clears throat) 457 00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:11,200 Don't worry. We're gonna mail 458 00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:11,200 your phones back to you, but 459 00:08:11,242 --> 00:08:13,702 we're gonna need your addresses, 460 00:08:11,242 --> 00:08:13,702 so fork over your I.D.s. 461 00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,454 Let's go. 462 00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,454 Come on. 463 00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,454 And their money. 464 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,747 We can't have 'em 465 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,747 cabbing it back to the city 466 00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,416 and going straight 467 00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,416 to the cops. 468 00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,000 (sighs) Goddamn it. 469 00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,000 That's a good point. 470 00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:21,752 Okay, you know what? 471 00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:21,752 Dee, collect their wallets. 472 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,128 Don't worry, guys. 473 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,128 We're not thieves. 474 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,546 You'll get your 475 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,546 wallets back, too. 476 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,798 Yeah. 477 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,798 Don't be babies. 478 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,798 All right, uh, 479 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,342 come on, come on, guys, 480 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,342 let's go, let's go. 481 00:08:28,384 --> 00:08:29,760 Let's go. 482 00:08:28,384 --> 00:08:29,760 Shut the doors. 483 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:38,436 Did we just kidnap 484 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:38,436 and rob those guys? 485 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:40,562 We just drove the 486 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:40,562 snakes out of Philly, 487 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,022 the way St. Patrick did. 488 00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:43,565 Oh! 489 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:44,775 So, what you're saying is, 490 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,568 technically, 491 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,568 we gave those guys 492 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,779 a very authentic 493 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,779 St. Paddy's Day experience. 494 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,281 Oh. 495 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,281 Yeah. 496 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:51,782 Nice. 497 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:51,782 In a way. 498 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,409 Oh. All right. 499 00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:55,244 That's good. 500 00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:55,244 That's good. 501 00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:55,244 Yeah. 502 00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,295 Okay, okay, okay, okay. Here. 503 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,964 Jesus Christ, where's Charlie? 504 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:10,634 Hey, Mac, somebody 505 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:10,634 stole my damn wallet. 506 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:10,634 What?! 507 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,594 Beat it! Beat it, Mauricio! 508 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,594 I need to talk to Mac. 509 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,054 Charlie, where have 510 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,054 you been, dude? 511 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,764 I can't run the bar by myself 512 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,764 and do security. 513 00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,224 People are getting 514 00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,224 their wallets stolen. 515 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:18,600 Okay, uh, look, just come 516 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,602 to the basement with me, 517 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,602 like, really quick. 518 00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:21,645 Goddamn it! All right. 519 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:22,646 Attention, everybody. 520 00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,189 Irish honor system. 521 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,024 Please serve yourselves. 522 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,819 Put the money in the bucket. 523 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,819 Thank you. 524 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,819 (cheering) 525 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,071 Uh, I don't think the Irish 526 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,071 honor system's a thing, man. 527 00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:32,281 Oh, it's a thing. 528 00:09:32,323 --> 00:09:33,115 It's an ancient 529 00:09:32,323 --> 00:09:33,115 Irish tradition. 530 00:09:33,157 --> 00:09:34,492 Know your history, bro. 531 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:35,575 What could possibly 532 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:35,575 be so important? 533 00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:39,663 Charlie... 534 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:41,623 what the hell 535 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:41,623 am I looking at? 536 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:43,625 (groaning and muttering) 537 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,210 CHARLIE: I caught him. 538 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,212 I caught that 539 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,212 son of a bitch. 540 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,630 Dude, I think you've 541 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,630 kidnapped a little person. 542 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,132 Huh? 543 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,551 Nah... nah, nah. 544 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,551 First of all, 545 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,052 I've captured 546 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,052 a leprechaun, okay? 547 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,929 You wouldn't say, 548 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,929 "I kidnapped Bigfoot," right? 549 00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,639 You'd say, 550 00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,639 "I captured Bigfoot." 551 00:09:57,681 --> 00:10:00,058 Well, that may be true, 552 00:09:57,681 --> 00:10:00,058 but leprechauns aren't real. 553 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,643 So what we're 554 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,643 dealing with here 555 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,228 is a little person 556 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,228 in a glue trap. 557 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,646 Yeah, I thought about that, 558 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,646 ruled it out, okay? 559 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,231 'Cause the basement door 560 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,231 was locked, so unless 561 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,816 he's a being 562 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,816 who's unrestrained by the laws 563 00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:09,734 of the physical world, 564 00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:09,734 he's not getting down here, man. 565 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,320 Dude, if he is 566 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,320 a human being, 567 00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:13,113 he is going to sue 568 00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:13,113 the shit out of us. 569 00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:14,906 If he's a leprechaun, 570 00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:14,906 he's got a pot of gold. 571 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,158 Yeah... 572 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,659 Well, yeah, that's... 573 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,660 Well, let's not rule 574 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,660 one out over the other. 575 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,162 I mean, it's very weird 576 00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:21,497 that he's 577 00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:21,497 down here, right? 578 00:10:21,539 --> 00:10:23,040 MAC: 579 00:10:21,539 --> 00:10:23,040 Okay. Let's ask him. 580 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:26,668 Uh, sir, I'm gonna ask 581 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:26,668 you a direct question. 582 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:30,672 Are you now or have you 583 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:30,672 ever been a leprechaun? 584 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,175 No, I'm not 585 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,175 a goddamn leprechaun! 586 00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:34,759 Please... 587 00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:34,759 It was pretty 588 00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:34,759 convincing. 589 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,678 Are you kidding me? 590 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,680 If he's a leprechaun, that's 591 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,680 what he has to say, right? 592 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:42,059 Sir, why are you dressed 593 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:42,059 like a leprechaun? 594 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,562 'Cause it's St. Paddy's Day, 595 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,562 you idiots! 596 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,105 This guy's good. 597 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,105 He's good. 598 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,105 Yeah. 599 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,357 Nasty little son of a bitch, 600 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,357 isn't he? You think? 601 00:10:48,399 --> 00:10:50,275 There's, like, 602 00:10:48,399 --> 00:10:50,275 a real bite to him. 603 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,319 I know. You know what 604 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,319 I think we should do? 605 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:53,945 We just rough him 606 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:53,945 up a little bit. 607 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,697 You know, just get the truth 608 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,697 out of him, just a little bit. 609 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,699 It's a great idea. 610 00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,701 We don't want 611 00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,701 to bruise him up. 612 00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,701 Yeah. 613 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:02,287 You know, so, I just 614 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:02,287 wish we had, like, 615 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:02,287 a hose or something. 616 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,705 Yeah. 617 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,705 You know, we could blast 618 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,705 the truth out of him. 619 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,707 Right? 620 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,707 That'd be good... 621 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:08,210 Oh, shit. 622 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:08,210 There's a hose right here. 623 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:13,340 I... I don't ever remember 624 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:13,340 a hose being down here, do you? 625 00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,133 No. I don't know. 626 00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,133 Dude... 627 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,718 do you realize 628 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,718 what just happened? 629 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,388 You made a wish, which 630 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,388 the leprechaun clearly granted. 631 00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:20,722 You know, everyone knows, 632 00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:20,722 you capture a leprechaun, 633 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,391 you get three wishes, right? 634 00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:24,643 So we got to think 635 00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:24,643 very carefully what 636 00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:24,643 our next two are here. 637 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,728 I wish I could 638 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,728 live forever? 639 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,728 What are you doing?! 640 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,522 I wish you don't. 641 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,522 How about that? 642 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,522 No, no! Why did you do that? 643 00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:29,773 Why did you do that? 644 00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:29,773 Why didn't you say, 645 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,567 "I wish I could live forever"? 646 00:11:31,609 --> 00:11:33,360 And live forever with you?! 647 00:11:31,609 --> 00:11:33,360 Well... 648 00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:34,903 Look, I'm not a leprechaun! 649 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,030 Just let me out of here, 650 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,030 you dickheads! 651 00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:38,574 Ah. Wish there was a way 652 00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:39,824 we could just know 653 00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:39,824 for sure, you know. 654 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,952 Charlie? 655 00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:44,996 Get the snake. 656 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,208 DENNIS: 657 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,208 You know what the problem was, 658 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,208 Frank? 659 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:51,336 That last group of belligerent 660 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:51,336 hooligans just didn't understand 661 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,754 how to experience 662 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,754 our business properly, 663 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:55,132 but I think this new group 664 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:55,132 is gonna get it. 665 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:58,677 Plus, they're 666 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:58,677 physically weaker, 667 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,679 in case anything 668 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,679 goes wrong. 669 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,222 What's happening? 670 00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,266 (with Irish brogue): 671 00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,266 I'll tell ya what's happenin'. 672 00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:06,268 One day you're young 673 00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:06,268 and pretty, 674 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,853 and the next, the years 675 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,853 of drinking and abuse 676 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,022 have robbed you 677 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,022 of your youth. 678 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,609 Abuse? Did these 679 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,609 guys hurt you? 680 00:12:13,651 --> 00:12:14,776 No! 681 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,778 Me husband 682 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,778 did this to me. 683 00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,780 Arr! 684 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:19,823 Dee... 685 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:19,823 Mm? 686 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,241 What the hell 687 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,241 are you doing? 688 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:22,784 What are you...? 689 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:22,784 What, are you a pirate? 690 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:23,952 I can't tell if you're 691 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:23,952 doing a thing now, 692 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,036 or if this is just 693 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,036 who you've become. 694 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,163 (normal voice): 695 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,163 I'm giving them 696 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,623 an authentic Irish experience, 697 00:12:27,665 --> 00:12:29,040 like you were begging for 698 00:12:27,665 --> 00:12:29,040 before... 699 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,792 You're giving them a 700 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,792 completely inauthentic, 701 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,294 frightening experience, 702 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,294 and you're scaring them. 703 00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:34,463 Okay, listen, ladies, 704 00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:34,463 nobody's gonna get hurt. 705 00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:35,797 Will you just let us out, 706 00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:35,797 please? 707 00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,007 Well, no. 708 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,509 No, I'm not 709 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,509 gonna let you out. 710 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:39,843 I need you to 711 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:39,843 experience everything 712 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,386 I-I have to offer, 713 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,386 okay, so you're... 714 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,804 Rahr! 715 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,804 So, experience... Dee! 716 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,806 Shut up! 717 00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:48,226 All right, look, we're gonna 718 00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:48,226 have a good time here, okay? 719 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,853 You're experiencing some 720 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,853 free beers right now 721 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,730 because I can't get the 722 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,730 goddamn Internet to work. 723 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,815 That's a problem for me. 724 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,815 Do you guys know how to use 725 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,609 tablet computers? 726 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,609 You're young. 727 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,609 No. 728 00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:57,068 I just want to connect the 729 00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:57,068 goddamn thing to the Internet. 730 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,445 They told me it'd be easy. 731 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,445 It's not, though. 732 00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,197 Okay. Well, I'll 733 00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,197 tell you what. 734 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,616 I'll let you out after I take 735 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,616 a couple photographs of you. 736 00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:04,117 How's that sound? Yeah? 737 00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:04,117 Take some photographs 738 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,828 for my... for my Web site? 739 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,828 So, look happy. 740 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,830 Look like you're having fun. 741 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,830 No need to cover those up. 742 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,290 My customers like those. 743 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,290 They're like me. 744 00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:12,334 They're gonna 745 00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:12,334 want to see that. 746 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:13,835 Yeah, okay, so smiling, 747 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:13,835 smiling, and... 748 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,837 (camera shutter clicking, 749 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,837 women crying) 750 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,088 You're not convincing me. 751 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,088 Smile! 752 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,549 (sobbing) 753 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,549 Goddamn! 754 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,841 This is not 755 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,841 supposed to be scary. 756 00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:21,926 This is supposed to be an 757 00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:21,926 authentic, fun time for you. 758 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,471 (camera shutter clicking, 759 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,471 women crying) 760 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,471 Yeah, all right, well, 761 00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:25,847 I need to buy it, okay? 762 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,558 I'm... 763 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,558 Please let us out. 764 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,643 I don't want to be on 765 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,643 your weird Web site. 766 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,643 Shh. 767 00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,478 Well, if you don't comply 768 00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,478 with me, then you're 769 00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,478 gonna end up 770 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,689 on the weird one, okay? 771 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,689 So, smile. 772 00:13:33,731 --> 00:13:35,899 (crying) 773 00:13:33,731 --> 00:13:35,899 Ugh! All right. 774 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,234 You know what? 775 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,234 This isn't gonna work. 776 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,902 All right, come on, come on. 777 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,487 Let's go. Come on. 778 00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,698 All right, out you go, ladies. 779 00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,698 Out you go. 780 00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,157 I know you didn't 781 00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,157 threaten to call the cops, 782 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:45,784 but you would have-- 783 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:45,784 I'm certain of it-- 784 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,035 so I'm gonna need 785 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,035 your wallets and your phones. 786 00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:48,870 Give 'em to the girl. 787 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,914 Oh, yeah, I'm probably gonna 788 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,914 pop on your Twitter accounts, 789 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:53,584 just so you know. Write us some, 790 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:53,584 uh, enthusiastic reviews, 791 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:54,876 which you would have done, 792 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:54,876 as well, 793 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:56,378 had you experienced 794 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:56,378 our business properly, 795 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,879 but you decided to be... 796 00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,881 (sighs) 797 00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,881 All right, well... 798 00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,342 (tires screech) 799 00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:07,389 Talk, bitch! 800 00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:07,389 I'm blasting you! Come on! 801 00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:07,389 Talk! Come on, leprechaun! 802 00:14:07,431 --> 00:14:09,391 Come on, leprechaun, 803 00:14:07,431 --> 00:14:09,391 admit it! 804 00:14:07,431 --> 00:14:09,391 Where's the gold?! 805 00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:11,268 Aw, what's the point, dude? 806 00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:11,268 There's no water pressure. 807 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,144 I feel like I'm 808 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,144 giving him a baby bath. 809 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,144 Yeah, I know. 810 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,772 Snake's not 811 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,772 working either, man. 812 00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:16,565 Well, that's 813 00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:16,565 because the snake is dead. 814 00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:18,275 Because you put it in a plastic 815 00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:18,275 bag and it couldn't breathe. 816 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,568 All right, doesn't matter. 817 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,568 He probably killed it 818 00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:21,612 with his leprechaun 819 00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:21,612 magic, anyway. 820 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,905 I'm not a leprechaun, 821 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,905 you goddamn assholes! 822 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,907 Yeah, yeah, guy. 823 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,907 How are we gonna get 824 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,907 his pot of gold 825 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,201 if he won't even admit to us 826 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,201 that he's a leprechaun? 827 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:29,911 I mean, if this guy would 828 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:29,911 just admit he was a leprechaun, 829 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:31,329 we could be done 830 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:31,329 with this whole mess. 831 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:31,329 Well, yeah. 832 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,331 Of course. 833 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,331 Okay, fine, you got me. 834 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,292 I'm a leprechaun. 835 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,292 I admit it. 836 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,127 What? 837 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,920 God... I am a... I'm a... 838 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,757 damn... a... I'm a leprechaun. 839 00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:43,801 Yeah, right, but you 840 00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:43,801 don't have the accent, 841 00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:43,801 That's... 842 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,927 and that's throwing 843 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,927 me off, right? 844 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,927 It's throwing me off. 845 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:49,389 (Irish brogue): 846 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:49,389 I live in a faraway land, 847 00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:54,812 and I was transported here 848 00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:54,812 by a giant magical rainbow. 849 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,773 And you never got me 850 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,773 Lucky Charms. 851 00:14:57,815 --> 00:15:00,024 (laughing): 852 00:14:57,815 --> 00:15:00,024 Oh! 853 00:14:57,815 --> 00:15:00,024 That's it! That's it! 854 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:03,320 You were right! Dude! 855 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:03,320 You caught a leprechaun! 856 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:03,320 I told you, man! I knew it! 857 00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:04,946 Hey, can you let me go now? 858 00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,615 No, you can't go. You know... 859 00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,615 No. No. 860 00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:08,450 we need your pot of gold. 861 00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:08,450 Where is it? 862 00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:08,450 Yeah. 863 00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:12,036 It's at the bottom 864 00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:12,036 of the rainbow. 865 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,456 Hmm. 866 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,456 Must be some sort 867 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,456 of leprechaun riddle, 868 00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:16,458 'cause there's no 869 00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:16,458 rainbows out today. 870 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,961 No, dude... I don't think 871 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,961 this guy's talking in metaphors. 872 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:22,547 I think he means 873 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:22,547 exactly what he's saying. 874 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:22,547 Yeah? 875 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,132 Dude, he's talking 876 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,132 about that gay bar 877 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,967 down on Locust Street-- 878 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,967 the Rainbow. 879 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,552 You know which one 880 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,552 I'm talking about, right? 881 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,552 No. 882 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,346 Right. I'm gonna go 883 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,346 check it out, alone. 884 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,681 Why? 885 00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:31,973 Well, because you'll be here. 886 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,600 And if, uh, 887 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,600 the gang comes back, 888 00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:36,687 they'll also be here, 889 00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:36,687 and I'll be there, alone. 890 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:37,688 Right. 891 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,564 But you'll be here. 892 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,565 Great. 893 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,565 Great. 894 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,693 All right, you go do that, 895 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,693 Okay. Yeah. 896 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,402 and, uh, remember, you're there 897 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,402 to look for a pot of gold. 898 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,446 Okay. Alone. 899 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:47,865 Yeah. You'll be there, alone. 900 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,783 Okay! 901 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,783 Got it. 902 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:53,578 All right, well, that 903 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:53,578 just leaves you and me, and, uh, 904 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,874 we both know there's no pot 905 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,874 of gold at that gay bar. 906 00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,083 So the question is... 907 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:03,296 what to do with the little liar. 908 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,221 We haven't made 909 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,221 a goddamn penny today. 910 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:13,097 We actually lost money, 911 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,726 with all the gas we burned 912 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,726 going back and forth. 913 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,728 Yeah, well, it's not my fault. 914 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,728 The business model's flawless. 915 00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,437 If you knew how to drive 916 00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,437 and you knew how to serve 917 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,857 a goddamn beer, we wouldn't 918 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,857 be in this mess. 919 00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:24,067 (sighs) 920 00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:24,067 Hmm. 921 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,611 All right. 922 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,611 (grunts) 923 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,611 Mmm. 924 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,614 Okay, everybody out. 925 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,614 Get out. Let's go. Come on. 926 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,867 Go, go, go, go, go. You guys 927 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,867 are in the wrong demographic. 928 00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:33,034 Where have you taken us? 929 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,537 Right. Yeah, I guess, uh, 930 00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,498 we got so used to our routine of 931 00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,498 picking people up and dropping 932 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,709 'em off outside of town 933 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,709 that we never even tried 934 00:16:40,751 --> 00:16:43,879 to sell you people beer, 935 00:16:40,751 --> 00:16:43,879 did we? (laughs) 936 00:16:40,751 --> 00:16:43,879 They're too old, anyway. 937 00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:45,923 Who's gonna watch 938 00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:45,923 'em on a Web site? 939 00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:45,923 That's true. 940 00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:48,216 Yeah, you guys are 941 00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:48,216 a little too old for our, uh... 942 00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:48,216 (woman shrieks) 943 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:51,595 So... 944 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:51,595 Wallets and phones. 945 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:51,595 You know the drill. 946 00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:56,767 I don't know why we don't 947 00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:56,767 just do the car service thing. 948 00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:59,477 People seem to be really needing 949 00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:59,477 rides all over the town. 950 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,105 No, you know, 951 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,105 that idea may work. 952 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,105 You think so? 953 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,148 Thank you. 954 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,148 You're welcome. 955 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:07,151 Oh. B-But before we 956 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:07,151 pivot to that one, 957 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,571 um, Deandra, 958 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,571 you mind, uh, jumpin' out 959 00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:12,156 to see about the gas cap? 960 00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:12,156 I think I left it off. 961 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,158 Yeah. 962 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,158 (tires screeching) 963 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,158 Oop. 964 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,665 Oh! Hey! 965 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,709 Oh, goddamn! 966 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:24,502 Goddamn it...! 967 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,504 (groans) 968 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,674 What you did there, Frank, 969 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,674 that was... very funny. 970 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,674 Yeah. That bitch 971 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,718 was dragging us down. 972 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,718 Yeah. 973 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,511 She was 974 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,511 driving me crazy, man. 975 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,511 Oh. 976 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,097 Oh... shit. 977 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,097 What? 978 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,557 She didn't put 979 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,557 the gas cap on. 980 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,184 Oh, is it open for real? 981 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,184 Big-time. 982 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,728 Oh, shit. Yeah, let me 983 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,728 grab that real quick. 984 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:43,438 I got it. 985 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:43,438 (grunts) 986 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,984 No, no, no, no, n... 987 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,984 Aw, goddamn! 988 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:49,319 (groans) 989 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,872 (sighs) 990 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,422 I can't believe Uber 991 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,422 jacks up their prices 992 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,422 just because it's a holiday. 993 00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:11,132 That's unbelie... It's a scam. 994 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,550 We should have been doing 995 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,550 that the entire time. 996 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,636 Are you kidding me? 997 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,636 That was my whole idea. 998 00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:16,638 Dee, stop trying to take 999 00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:16,638 credit for everything. Wait, 1000 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,139 what is going on in here? 1001 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,139 Weren't Mac and Charlie 1002 00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:20,433 taking care of the bar? 1003 00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:20,433 Yeah, they were. 1004 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:23,144 Why is the bar empty? 1005 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:23,144 FRANK: 1006 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:23,144 It ain't empty. 1007 00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:26,439 What are you doing back here, 1008 00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:26,439 you piece of shit? 1009 00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:29,192 It's a long story. 1010 00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:29,192 The business hit a wall, 1011 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:32,320 went up in smoke, 1012 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:32,320 and then went under. 1013 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,155 Why are you speaking 1014 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,155 in metaphors? 1015 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,157 It ain't a metaphor. 1016 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,157 I fell asleep, 1017 00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:39,577 crashed into a wall, 1018 00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:39,577 the engine burst into flames, 1019 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,579 and I had to drive it 1020 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,579 into a river. 1021 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,579 Right. 1022 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,581 (music playing in distance) 1023 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,581 (muffled shouting) 1024 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,166 What the hell is that? 1025 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:47,168 ♪ To keep this smile 1026 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:47,168 from my face ♪ 1027 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,962 ♪ Losing control, yeah ♪ 1028 00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:52,090 ♪ I'm all over the place ♪ 1029 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,218 ♪ Clowns to the left of me, 1030 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,218 jokers to the right ♪ 1031 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,470 ♪ Here I am, stuck in 1032 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,470 the middle with you... ♪ 1033 00:18:57,512 --> 00:19:00,473 Well, you may be a man. 1034 00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:02,266 You may be a leprechaun. 1035 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:05,020 But only one thing's 1036 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:05,020 for sure: 1037 00:19:05,062 --> 00:19:06,437 you're in the wrong basement. 1038 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,231 (muffled): 1039 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,231 Goddamn it! No! 1040 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,693 I'm gonna see if 1041 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,693 you bleed green. 1042 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,693 No! No! No, no, no! 1043 00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:14,029 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Charlie, 1044 00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:14,029 Charlie, what the hell is... 1045 00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:14,029 Whoa, whoa. Hey! 1046 00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:15,822 What are you doing? 1047 00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,199 (music stops) 1048 00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,199 What does it look 1049 00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,199 like I'm doing? 1050 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,118 It looks like you've tied 1051 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,118 a little person to a chair 1052 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,870 and you're gonna torture him. 1053 00:19:21,912 --> 00:19:24,205 (chuckles) No, I've tied 1054 00:19:21,912 --> 00:19:24,205 a leprechaun to a chair, 1055 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:27,208 and, uh, yeah, 1056 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:27,208 I was gonna cut him to pieces. 1057 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,878 Charlie... 1058 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,212 you been drinking 1059 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,212 straight paint? 1060 00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:32,463 Yeah. 1061 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,798 MAC: Charlie, he's 1062 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,798 not a leprechaun! 1063 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,216 Do not hurt him! 1064 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,216 I repeat: 1065 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:37,510 he is not a leprechaun! 1066 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:37,510 Oh, hey. 1067 00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:40,221 What is this? 1068 00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:40,221 Why are you covered in glitter? 1069 00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:41,598 I would love to answer 1070 00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:41,598 all of your questions, 1071 00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,391 but there is no time. 1072 00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,894 You see, I went to the Rainbow 1073 00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,894 to look for a pot of gold. 1074 00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:47,062 The gay bar? 1075 00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:47,062 Oh. 1076 00:19:47,104 --> 00:19:48,312 Again, no questions. 1077 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,856 And when I got back, 1078 00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:52,859 I found this bag... 1079 00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:52,859 full of wallets, 1080 00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:54,527 hidden where we keep 1081 00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:54,527 the towels. 1082 00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:55,653 Why did you need towels? 1083 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,655 Not answering questions, okay? 1084 00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:01,242 Because apparently this son 1085 00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:01,242 of a bitch is a pickpocket. 1086 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:03,244 That's why he's been 1087 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:03,244 lurking around Paddy's. 1088 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:06,123 Oh! Well, that makes a lot 1089 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:06,123 of sense, 'cause he kept saying, 1090 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:08,249 like, "I'm a pickpocket. I'm 1091 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:08,249 a pickpocket. Stop hurting me. 1092 00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:09,960 I'm not a leprechaun." And 1093 00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:09,960 I just thought that was, like, 1094 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:12,670 a metaphor for, you know, 1095 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:12,670 "I-I am a leprechaun." 1096 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,255 This little son of a bitch 1097 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,255 has been picking pockets 1098 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,840 at our bar 1099 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,840 every St. Paddy's Day 1100 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,258 for years. 1101 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,258 FRANK: 1102 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,258 Well, we got a whole bag 1103 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,844 full of wallets 1104 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,844 and phones, too. 1105 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,639 You did? That's good. Because 1106 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,639 the bar did not do so great. 1107 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,639 Yeah. 1108 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,142 Turns out the Irish honor 1109 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,142 system, that's not a thing. 1110 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:26,476 Yeah, we were gonna 1111 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:26,476 actually return the wallets 1112 00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:27,769 that we got, but, uh, 1113 00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:27,769 Yeah. 1114 00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:29,270 since no one 1115 00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:29,270 seems to be... 1116 00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,688 being honorable, uh, 1117 00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,688 maybe we keep our wallets 1118 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,315 and those 1119 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,315 and, you know, 1120 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,315 Yeah. 1121 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,985 chalk it up as a win. Yeah. 1122 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,985 Oh, the luck of the Irish. 1123 00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:37,278 (chuckling) 1124 00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:37,278 Let's not make it 1125 00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:37,278 a tradition, though. 1126 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,280 Sure. 1127 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,280 Yeah, probably better 1128 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,280 not to. 1129 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:43,160 All right, well, what do we do 1130 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:43,160 with this piece of shit? 1131 00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:51,250 (tires screech) 1132 00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:58,175 (distorted laughter) 1133 00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:03,930 Oh, shit, that leprechaun 1134 00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:03,930 just flew up a rainbow! 1135 00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:06,390 Stop drinking paint, 1136 00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:06,390 Charlie. 1137 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,434 Huh. 1138 00:21:44,554 --> 00:21:46,181 (trumpet playing off-key) 1139 00:21:46,223 --> 00:21:47,515 Brown. 1140 00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:49,475 Captioned by 1141 00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:49,475 Media Access Group at WGBH 67597