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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,588 --> 00:00:05,297 MAC: 2 00:00:03,588 --> 00:00:05,297 Hey, Dee! Dee! Dee! Dee! 3 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,258 Do you want to take your feet 4 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,258 off my bed, please? 5 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,885 DEE: It's not your bed, okay? 6 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,885 It's my goddamn floor! 7 00:00:08,927 --> 00:00:10,636 And how many times do 8 00:00:08,927 --> 00:00:10,636 I have to ask you guys 9 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:11,888 to please just 10 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:11,888 pick up your shit 11 00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:13,055 when you wake up 12 00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:13,055 in the morning?! 13 00:00:13,097 --> 00:00:15,683 You're turning this place 14 00:00:13,097 --> 00:00:15,683 into the Superdome. 15 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:17,560 Superdome? That's, like, 16 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:17,560 six years too late. 17 00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:19,061 That's a super lame 18 00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:19,061 reference. 19 00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:20,354 And it's kind of offensive. 20 00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,564 You'll be happy to know, 21 00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,564 by the way, 22 00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:22,941 we are looking 23 00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:22,941 for a place right now. 24 00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:24,233 All right? What about 25 00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:24,233 this place, man? 26 00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:26,110 Ah, it looks 27 00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:26,110 a little bit junky. 28 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,319 It kind of reminds me of here. 29 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,487 Yeah, this place 30 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,487 is a piece of shit. 31 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,906 It's not junky, okay? 32 00:00:29,948 --> 00:00:31,908 You guys have 33 00:00:29,948 --> 00:00:31,908 destroyed everything, 34 00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:34,243 and that's why it looks junkier, 35 00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:34,243 like a couple of locusts. 36 00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:36,078 Oh, I take that as a compliment. 37 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,747 It's not a compliment. 38 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,747 Well, it's biblical, 39 00:00:37,789 --> 00:00:38,998 so it's a compliment. 40 00:00:37,789 --> 00:00:38,998 Yeah. 41 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,750 (stammers) Why is everything 42 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,750 so goddamn expensive? 43 00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:42,543 I mean, 44 00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:42,543 I wish we hadn't burned down 45 00:00:42,585 --> 00:00:44,169 our rent-controlled apartment. 46 00:00:42,585 --> 00:00:44,169 (both laugh) 47 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,170 Yeah, you think? 48 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,548 Dee, I will slap you 49 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,548 in the teeth. 50 00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:48,883 You think this is easy? 51 00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:50,092 We-we have a list 52 00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:50,092 of demands here. 53 00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:51,260 We need two bedrooms. 54 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,971 We-we need two bathrooms, 55 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,971 minimum. 56 00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:54,263 You know what? Whatever. 57 00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:54,263 What's your plan? 58 00:00:54,305 --> 00:00:56,098 Where are you guys gonna 59 00:00:54,305 --> 00:00:56,098 find a place that fits 60 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,183 all of your needs for 61 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,183 under 1,500 bucks a month? 62 00:01:24,002 --> 00:01:25,127 DENNIS: 63 00:01:24,002 --> 00:01:25,127 Well, guys, 64 00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,128 this is it. 65 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,506 Welcome to our 66 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,506 beautiful new home. 67 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,132 CHARLIE: This is crazy. 68 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,132 You guys should've just 69 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,843 moved into that empty apartment 70 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,843 in our building. 71 00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:34,012 The one where the family 72 00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:34,012 was murdered? 73 00:01:34,053 --> 00:01:35,054 Brutally murdered. 74 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,848 Pass. 75 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,848 This place is awesome. 76 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,141 You guys are gonna thrive out 77 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,141 here, and I am not gonna have 78 00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,810 to worry about you 79 00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,810 hogging my shower anymore. 80 00:01:40,852 --> 00:01:42,186 And we don't have to worry 81 00:01:40,852 --> 00:01:42,186 about getting ringworm. 82 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,187 You brought the ringworm. 83 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,355 Yeah, and now your apartment 84 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:46,024 is infested with it. 85 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:46,024 Yeah. 86 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,191 Don't worry, you'll 87 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,191 be back to giving 88 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,526 each other worms 89 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,526 soon enough. 90 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:49,861 These are city scum. 91 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:51,529 They can't hack it 92 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:51,529 out here. 93 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,613 Oh, yeah? 94 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,613 Yeah. 95 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,239 You want to bet? 96 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,239 Absolutely. 97 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,450 Okay, Frank. 98 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,450 So if Mac and I 99 00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:58,077 can live here for a month, 100 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,162 then you have to pay 101 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,162 our rent for an entire year. 102 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:02,331 Deal. And if you don't, 103 00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:05,334 you have to sleep in bed 104 00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:05,334 with an old man for a year. 105 00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:06,752 (laughing): Gross! 106 00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:06,752 What? 107 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,170 Yeah. 108 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,172 What the hell are you 109 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,172 laughing about, Charlie? 110 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:11,465 You already sleep 111 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:11,465 with an old man, 112 00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,175 and for no reason other than 113 00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,175 you seem to enjoy it. 114 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,177 (laughing) 115 00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:16,637 Yeah. 116 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:17,972 Okay, you know what, Frank? 117 00:02:18,014 --> 00:02:20,140 You got a bet. 118 00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:24,020 Won't last a month-- 119 00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:24,020 Frank is insane! 120 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:26,271 This place is 121 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:26,271 paradise, man. 122 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,690 We can really 123 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,690 stretch out, you know? 124 00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:29,274 It-it's quiet, 125 00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:29,274 it's calm. 126 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,360 It's not like the city 127 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,360 where everything is so 128 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:32,862 stressful, you know? 129 00:02:32,904 --> 00:02:34,196 I'm-I'm just... 130 00:02:32,904 --> 00:02:34,196 I feel at ease. 131 00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:36,490 When was the last time 132 00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:36,490 that we had a home-cooked meal? 133 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:37,575 Oh, dude... 134 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:37,575 (stammers) 135 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:38,576 it's been forever. 136 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:40,578 Well, my friend, dig in. 137 00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:42,204 Mmm. 138 00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:44,373 Oh, my God. 139 00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:47,209 Mac... 140 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:49,045 this is incredible. 141 00:02:49,087 --> 00:02:50,713 You like it? 142 00:02:49,087 --> 00:02:50,713 Oh, my God. 143 00:02:50,755 --> 00:02:53,007 Oh, that is such a relief 144 00:02:50,755 --> 00:02:53,007 because I worked so hard on it. 145 00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:54,216 Yeah. 146 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:56,635 I call it Mac's 147 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:56,635 famous mac and cheese. 148 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,220 (both laughing) 149 00:02:58,262 --> 00:02:59,513 Okay, well, 150 00:02:58,262 --> 00:02:59,513 I don't know how... 151 00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:01,390 I don't really know 152 00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:01,390 how famous it is. 153 00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:03,726 I mean, I'm your roommate, 154 00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:03,726 and I've never heard of it. 155 00:03:03,768 --> 00:03:06,228 So, what do you want 156 00:03:03,768 --> 00:03:06,228 to do after dinner? 157 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,439 Uh... well, see, the 158 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,439 TV's not hooked up, 159 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,274 so can't watch TV. 160 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,235 Um, there's not really any 161 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,235 bars around here, so... 162 00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:14,319 Right. 163 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,446 You know what 164 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,446 we should do? 165 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:16,948 Hmm? 166 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,240 Let's just get a 167 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,240 good night's sleep. 168 00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:19,450 That's a good idea. 169 00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:19,450 Yeah. 170 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,618 (faint chirp nearby) 171 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,618 Yeah. 172 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,036 What was that? 173 00:03:22,078 --> 00:03:23,704 What was what? 174 00:03:22,078 --> 00:03:23,704 (chirps again) 175 00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:26,290 You hear that, 176 00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:26,290 that chirping sound? 177 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:28,542 I did not, no. 178 00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:30,878 Probably a smoke detector 179 00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:30,878 or something like that, huh? 180 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,463 Right, yeah. 181 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,463 No big deal. 182 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:35,299 Hey, to a great night's sleep. 183 00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:39,261 (crickets trilling) 184 00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:41,513 (low hissing) 185 00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:49,521 (smoke detector chirping) 186 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,066 (fan blades swooshing) 187 00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:53,901 (distant lawn mower humming) 188 00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:55,861 (grunts) 189 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,529 Good morning. 190 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,529 Mm. 191 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,990 Hey, man, did you 192 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,990 hear that...? 193 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,282 Pool filter? 194 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,284 Oh, my God. 195 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,284 It was like a jet engine. 196 00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:04,954 I didn't get any sleep 197 00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:04,954 at all last night, you know? 198 00:04:04,996 --> 00:04:06,580 One noise is so much louder 199 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,457 than all the city noises 200 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,457 combined, you know? 201 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:09,917 You just, you fixate. 202 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:09,917 Totally. 203 00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,376 I get that, but I-I 204 00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,376 was actually talking 205 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,295 about that chirping sound-- 206 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,295 did you hear that? 207 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:14,880 It was, like, 208 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:14,880 happening all night. 209 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,007 No, I didn't hear that. 210 00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,883 Oh, man, it was 211 00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,883 driving me nuts. 212 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,343 Yeah. 213 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,343 Anyway, want to roll? 214 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,679 I, uh, got us some music. 215 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,679 I made this Creed mix. 216 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,472 Oh, uh, Creed, huh? 217 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:24,890 Yeah, it's a long 218 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:24,890 commute, so... 219 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,142 Yeah, I was thinking more, 220 00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:28,144 like, Bryan Adams. 221 00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:28,144 Okay. 222 00:04:28,186 --> 00:04:29,728 But it-it is Tuesday. 223 00:04:28,186 --> 00:04:29,728 Yeah... 224 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,313 Which is technically 225 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,313 my music day. 226 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,313 Right. 227 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,315 Yeah, and that was cool and all 228 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,315 when it only took us, 229 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,151 like, ten minutes to get to 230 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,151 work, but now we're looking 231 00:04:35,193 --> 00:04:36,318 at, like, an hour 232 00:04:35,193 --> 00:04:36,318 or so commute. 233 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,820 I'm thinking 234 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,820 maybe more my thing. 235 00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:39,404 But, hey, you know what? 236 00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:39,404 Here's an idea. 237 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,323 Why don't you take 238 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,323 a personal day? 239 00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,159 You know, I mean, we got 240 00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,159 a lot of property here. 241 00:04:43,201 --> 00:04:45,410 It might be nice to have 242 00:04:43,201 --> 00:04:45,410 someone here to look after it. 243 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,246 Yeah. 244 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,246 You know, maybe get 245 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,246 that TV working. 246 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,123 Maybe take a run at that, 247 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,123 uh, pool filter? 248 00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:50,582 Oh. 249 00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:50,582 Huh? 250 00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:50,582 MAN: Hey! 251 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:51,834 You must be the 252 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:51,834 new neighbors. 253 00:04:51,876 --> 00:04:53,211 Name's Wally Schmidt. 254 00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:54,837 No relation to Mike. 255 00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:56,881 But don't tell my wife. 256 00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:56,881 (chuckles) 257 00:05:00,051 --> 00:05:02,344 Boy, it sure is a 258 00:05:00,051 --> 00:05:02,344 hot one today, huh? 259 00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:07,516 Okay. 260 00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:10,019 Nice to meet you boys. 261 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:14,565 What the hell was 262 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:14,565 that all about? 263 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,358 Just comes up 264 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,358 and starts talking to us? 265 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,360 Right, some guy comes up to me, 266 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,360 I don't know what he's... 267 00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:20,362 I don't know what he's up to. 268 00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:20,362 No. It's like, the whole time, 269 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,031 I'm staring at him, I'm 270 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,031 thinking, does he have a knife? 271 00:05:22,073 --> 00:05:23,532 Are we gonna have to take 272 00:05:22,073 --> 00:05:23,532 this bitch out right now? 273 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:24,783 No. I don't know. 274 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:24,783 I don't know. 275 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,368 But it's-it's the city, though. 276 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,828 It-it's forced me to develop 277 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,828 these sharp edges. 278 00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,538 For protection, you know? 279 00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,538 I got to smooth them out. 280 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,582 We're in the suburbs. 281 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,582 Let's work on it a little bit. 282 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,001 Okay, all right. 283 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,001 Shall we? You know, 284 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,001 'cause now I'm all tense. 285 00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:36,378 I don't want to bring 286 00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:36,378 this energy into work, you know? 287 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:39,048 Luckily, I got 288 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:39,048 the commute to relax. 289 00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:40,758 ♪ Bought it 290 00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:40,758 at the five and dime... ♪ 291 00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:40,758 (horn honking) 292 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,302 Aw, merge, merge! 293 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,302 You had your... 294 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,388 Come on, you got, you have to 295 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,388 seize the goddamn gap! 296 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,015 People are 297 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,015 so goddamn inefficient! 298 00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,600 Oh, goddamn it! 299 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,977 I don't care if you're old! 300 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,977 Seize the gap! 301 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,396 You old fat bitch! 302 00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:55,689 You fat bitch! 303 00:05:59,944 --> 00:06:02,196 MAC: So, how was your day? 304 00:05:59,944 --> 00:06:02,196 DENNIS: Good. 305 00:06:02,238 --> 00:06:03,864 How was work? 306 00:06:02,238 --> 00:06:03,864 Any-any good stories? 307 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:06,408 Charlie and Frank are doing 308 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:06,408 something with Russian hats now. 309 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,410 Really? What? 310 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,410 I don't know. 311 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:11,038 I couldn't follow any of it. 312 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:11,038 What did you do today? 313 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,623 Did you, uh, fix 314 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,623 that pool filter? 315 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,416 Uh... I tried. 316 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,418 But it turns out, it's 317 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,418 actually really complicated, 318 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,670 and I didn't go to school 319 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,670 for that, you know? 320 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,881 Mostly I just tried to get 321 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,881 the living room set up. 322 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,429 It took a little while 323 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,429 to find a stud. 324 00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:29,098 Yeah, I can, I can see that. 325 00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:31,350 Maybe, uh, take another 326 00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:31,350 personal day tomorrow, huh? 327 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,477 You know, maybe I will take 328 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,477 another run at that pool filter. 329 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,020 Maybe try and do 330 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,020 all the other things 331 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,521 that you tried to 332 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,521 do today, but, uh, 333 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,399 you know... do them. 334 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:43,445 (low hissing) 335 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,656 Shut up, shut up, shut up, 336 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,366 shut up! 337 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,450 (chirping) 338 00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:51,245 Aw, damn it! 339 00:06:51,287 --> 00:06:52,537 What is that? 340 00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:57,751 ♪ Played it till 341 00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:57,751 my fingers bled ♪ 342 00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,753 ♪ Was the summer of '69... ♪ 343 00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:01,339 (car honks) 344 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:02,506 What's your plan, huh? 345 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,258 Two miles an hour. There you go. 346 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,509 (horn honks) 347 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:06,510 Oh, gun it. 348 00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,179 Use your signal, you cow! 349 00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:09,305 (tires screech) 350 00:07:09,347 --> 00:07:10,889 Goddamn it. 351 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,724 ♪ Jody got married, 352 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,724 I should've known... ♪ 353 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,476 Unbelievable. 354 00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:17,271 I don't see what the problem is. 355 00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:18,522 (tires screeching) 356 00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:18,522 Hey. Hey, hey! 357 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,524 Slow down! 358 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:23,361 Children play here, you fat cow! 359 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,487 Hey, Wally. 360 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:27,656 Oh, hey. 361 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:27,656 (chuckles) 362 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,367 Hot one today, huh? 363 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,202 Yeah?! 364 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,788 (door opens) 365 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:36,999 Oh, that Wally loves to say 366 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:36,999 "It's a hot one" 367 00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,583 when I already know 368 00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,583 it's a hot one. 369 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,544 'Cause I'm standing outside 370 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,544 in the hot one. 371 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:41,545 Thanks a lot, Wally. 372 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:42,587 You know what? 373 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,131 Tell me about future weather. 374 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,966 Don't tell me 375 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,966 about present weather... 376 00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:49,303 Oh, I didn't realize 377 00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:49,303 we had company. 378 00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:50,929 Hey, Dennis. 379 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,723 This is Jimmy-- 380 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,723 he's the pool guy. 381 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,516 I invited him 382 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,516 over for dinner. 383 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:57,519 Mac, can I speak to you 384 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:57,519 in the foyer for a second? 385 00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,730 Oh, uh... 386 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,232 Sure. 387 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,232 (chuckles) 388 00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:02,524 Excuse us for a second. 389 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,026 Just be a... 390 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,026 just be a... 391 00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:05,361 just be a quick 392 00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:05,361 minute here. 393 00:08:05,403 --> 00:08:06,820 Hey. What? 394 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,697 DENNIS: Come on, man. 395 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,697 You gonna invite some guy 396 00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,449 over to my house 397 00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,449 that I don't even know. 398 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,368 MAC: I just wanted to have, uh, 399 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,368 somebody over for dinner. 400 00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:14,370 DENNIS: So I got to have dinner 401 00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:14,370 with some guy, "Hey, pool guy." 402 00:08:14,412 --> 00:08:15,787 MAC: 403 00:08:14,412 --> 00:08:15,787 His name is Jimmy! 404 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,539 DENNIS: Jimmy? I don't give 405 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,539 a (bleep) what you do. 406 00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:19,541 MAC: You could ask him about 407 00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:19,541 all sorts of things. I mean... 408 00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:20,792 DENNIS: What do you want me 409 00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:20,792 to ask pool guy? 410 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,794 If he knew shit 411 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,794 that I was interested in, 412 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,463 he wouldn't be 413 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,463 a (bleep) pool guy. 414 00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:29,343 I said I was sorry. 415 00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:32,596 Yeah, yeah. No, I'm 416 00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:32,596 just, uh... (chuckles) 417 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,598 I'm just confused, 418 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,598 you know, I... 419 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:37,601 Here I am thinking that we 420 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:37,601 got a pool that's outside. 421 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,562 Eh... I didn't realize 422 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,562 that we had an indoor pool. 423 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,606 Can we just forget about it 424 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,606 and eat our dinner? 425 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,815 It's just so funny. 426 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,360 We got enough money 427 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,360 for two pools. 428 00:08:46,402 --> 00:08:48,612 And yet we don't have enough 429 00:08:46,402 --> 00:08:48,612 money for a recipe book, 430 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,740 'cause here we are eating 431 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,740 mac and cheese again. 432 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:53,242 You don't know 433 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:53,242 how hard it is 434 00:08:53,284 --> 00:08:55,244 to be cooped up in here 435 00:08:53,284 --> 00:08:55,244 all by myself, okay? 436 00:08:55,286 --> 00:08:56,578 (laughs) 437 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,038 At least you get 438 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,038 to go to work. 439 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,581 I get to go to work? 440 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,581 Yes. 441 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:01,833 Oh, everybody, hey, 442 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:01,833 I "get" to go to work. 443 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,585 I "get" to have a job. 444 00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:06,505 I "get" to have to 445 00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:06,505 make money for us. 446 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,673 Oh, my... You know 447 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,673 what, screw this. 448 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,092 Wh... Oh, oh, yes. 449 00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:11,427 Fine, just walk away 450 00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:11,427 right in the middle... 451 00:09:11,469 --> 00:09:12,470 Dennis! 452 00:09:18,309 --> 00:09:21,061 (thudding) 453 00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:22,604 Goddamn it. 454 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:23,814 What is that? 455 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,441 (groans) 456 00:09:25,483 --> 00:09:26,608 Son of a bitch. 457 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:27,609 What...? 458 00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:28,610 Son of a bitch. 459 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:29,611 The hell you doing? 460 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:30,612 Oh, do you hear it, too? 461 00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,114 I heard you bashing. 462 00:09:32,156 --> 00:09:33,532 Yeah, yeah, 463 00:09:32,156 --> 00:09:33,532 that chirping? 464 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,117 I'm pretty sure 465 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,117 it's a cricket. 466 00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:37,119 Okay, you know what, I'm 467 00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:37,119 gonna say something here, 468 00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:39,621 and it might not 469 00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:39,621 be popular, but... 470 00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:40,914 I hate this place. 471 00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:40,914 Yes. 472 00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,624 And I got to get 473 00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,624 back to the city. 474 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:43,708 I'm going nuts. 475 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,627 I miss the city, too. 476 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,627 I miss the action. 477 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,629 You know, I thought this 478 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,629 place would soften my edges, 479 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:48,797 but they're 480 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:48,797 sharper than ever. 481 00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:50,799 Dude, I cannot 482 00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:50,799 be cooped up here. 483 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,884 You know, cooking 484 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,884 and cleaning and fixing. 485 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,678 All right, all right, 486 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,678 calm down, calm down. 487 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,638 I... I think I 488 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,638 have an idea. 489 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,516 L-Let's... let's 490 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,516 invite the gang over. 491 00:09:58,557 --> 00:09:59,891 You know, we'll 492 00:09:58,557 --> 00:09:59,891 clean up the place, 493 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,643 we'll serve 'em 494 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,643 a nice dinner, 495 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,437 we'll show 'em how-how 496 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,437 well we're doing, 497 00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:05,689 and I'll feel Frank out 498 00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:05,689 about this bet, you know, 499 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,484 which in retrospect is 500 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,484 completely ridiculous. 501 00:10:08,526 --> 00:10:09,860 How are they gonna 502 00:10:08,526 --> 00:10:09,860 find an old man 503 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,362 that's gonna go 504 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,362 along with it? 505 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,654 Right. Exactly. 506 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,654 (chuckles) 507 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,532 (doorbell rings) 508 00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:17,326 Mac and Dennis, old man. 509 00:10:17,368 --> 00:10:19,953 Old man, Mac and Dennis. 510 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,045 DENNIS (sighs): 511 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,045 Ah... 512 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,671 MAC: So, uh, what's 513 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,671 with the hats? 514 00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:31,382 (Frank and Charlie laugh) 515 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:33,175 I... You wouldn't 516 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:33,175 get it. Uh-uh. 517 00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:35,677 Yeah, you kind of 518 00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:35,677 had to be there, man. 519 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,137 Hey, how about 520 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,137 that food, huh? 521 00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:39,681 Mac calls it "Mac's 522 00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:39,681 famous mac and cheese." 523 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:41,058 And it is famous. 524 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,684 In my stomach. 525 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,684 (laughs) 526 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,478 Is it? I mean, we're your 527 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,478 friends, I've never heard of it. 528 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,271 Hey, guys. 529 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,273 We are having so much fun 530 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,273 at this house. 531 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,526 I'll tell you, I can't believe 532 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,526 we ever lived anywhere else. 533 00:10:50,568 --> 00:10:52,777 But I was just curious, 534 00:10:50,568 --> 00:10:52,777 if we were to lose this bet, 535 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,989 what would 536 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,989 the logistics be, like, 537 00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,074 with the old man thing? 538 00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,367 FRANK: 539 00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,367 Oh. 540 00:10:58,409 --> 00:11:00,202 Well, I'll tell 541 00:10:58,409 --> 00:11:00,202 you what I'll do. 542 00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,204 If you guys are cracking, 543 00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,204 you can forfeit now, 544 00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:05,707 I'll buy the three of youse 545 00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:05,707 a California king-size bed 546 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,585 to sleep in. 547 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,585 DEE: What? 548 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:09,711 No, they're not gonna forfeit-- 549 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:09,711 this place is rad. 550 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,380 You want a little 551 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,380 side action? 552 00:11:11,422 --> 00:11:12,631 No, no, no, don't muddy 553 00:11:11,422 --> 00:11:12,631 this with side action. 554 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,715 Dee, don't do it. 555 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:14,716 I'll take some 556 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:14,716 side action. 557 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:15,717 Don't... 558 00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:16,760 Tell you what. 559 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,429 How about, if they win, 560 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,722 I'll take that California 561 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,722 king bed for myself. 562 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,600 Fine, and if they lose, 563 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,602 the three of you got to 564 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,602 sleep with the old man. 565 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,727 (laughs) 566 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:26,811 DEE: 567 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:26,811 Fine. 568 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:27,812 Deal. 569 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:27,812 Goddamn it. 570 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,147 Excuse me. 571 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,941 I have to piss. 572 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:33,944 Out of my penis. 573 00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:37,615 Right. 574 00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:46,624 Okay, well, clearly Mac wants 575 00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:46,624 to speak to me in secret. 576 00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:48,708 Uh, so excuse me. 577 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,587 Wha...? 578 00:11:51,629 --> 00:11:53,672 Oh, good, you got my signal. 579 00:11:51,629 --> 00:11:53,672 Yeah, got your signal. 580 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,424 Dude, we're not gonna make it, 581 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,424 we're not gonna make it. 582 00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:56,758 Yeah, dude, 583 00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:56,758 it's cool, man. 584 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:57,759 W-We'll figure it out. 585 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:57,759 It's... 586 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,010 No, no, it's not cool. 587 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,554 There's no way 588 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,554 we're gonna make it. 589 00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:01,930 And also, dude, 590 00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:01,930 what's with the hats? 591 00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,641 What is with those hats?! 592 00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,641 Dennis, I got to know! 593 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:04,849 They told me the story, 594 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:04,849 and it didn't make sense, 595 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,560 and now we can't 596 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,560 get it out of them. 597 00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:08,353 Look, dude, I don't 598 00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:08,353 want to sound racist, 599 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,606 but can we just discuss the fact 600 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,606 that it's an old black man? 601 00:12:10,648 --> 00:12:12,608 Yeah, mmm. 602 00:12:10,648 --> 00:12:12,608 It was supposed 603 00:12:10,648 --> 00:12:12,608 to be an old man. 604 00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:14,443 Just an old man. 605 00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:14,443 Now it's a black man. 606 00:12:14,485 --> 00:12:16,027 Dude, that's, like, a whole 607 00:12:14,485 --> 00:12:16,027 other thing. That's two things. 608 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,779 That's two things, 609 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,779 it's two things. 610 00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:18,780 All right, 611 00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:18,780 you know what, let's... 612 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,574 Maybe we just... 613 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,574 we-we just... 614 00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:22,200 we take the California king. 615 00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:22,200 I mean, that's a big bed. 616 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,411 You want to share the bed 617 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,411 with an old black man? 618 00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:25,704 No, of course not, I... 619 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:26,997 All right, 620 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:26,997 that sounded racist. 621 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,790 I don't want to share 622 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,790 a bed with an old man. 623 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:29,874 I'm just saying 624 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:29,874 it's a big bed, 625 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,042 and we could probably 626 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,042 work it out. 627 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,587 Okay, so picture 628 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,587 big bed, big bed. 629 00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:34,838 Me on the side, 630 00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:34,838 you know, you right here. 631 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,256 Old man, right here. 632 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,256 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 633 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,800 Why am I in the middle? Black 634 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,800 man should be in the middle. 635 00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:40,385 Don't call him "black man." 636 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,012 His name's not "black man." 637 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,012 His name's "old man." 638 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,597 Let's stick with "old man." 639 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,597 Okay. 640 00:12:43,639 --> 00:12:44,806 Just sounds better. 641 00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:46,808 All right, 642 00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:46,808 so how about this? 643 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,811 You and I on the big bed, 644 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,811 side-by-side, black man, he's... 645 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,271 Now you got me doing it. 646 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,271 Mmm. 647 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,732 Old man is down at the bottom, 648 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,732 sideways, like a dog. 649 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,817 Are you calling 650 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,817 black people dogs? 651 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:58,028 No, that's not what I... 652 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:58,028 That's very racist. 653 00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,988 What the hell is going...? 654 00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,988 (gasps) 655 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,823 Oh, my God. 656 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:03,825 You guys are cracking, 657 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:03,825 aren't you? 658 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:03,825 (scoffs) 659 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,620 Nah, it's-it's, like... fine. 660 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,620 Nah, it's fine. 661 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,620 What?! 662 00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:08,747 It's soul-crushing, Dee! 663 00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:08,747 Oh, my God, I can't make 664 00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:08,747 this house into a home. 665 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:09,873 I didn't go to 666 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:09,873 school for that. 667 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,625 He didn't go to school for it. 668 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,625 No. 669 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,460 Well, why did you let me 670 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,460 take the side action?! 671 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:15,295 I told you not to take 672 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:15,295 the side action! 673 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:15,295 You bitch! You bitch! 674 00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,422 Why didn't you yell it 675 00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,422 so I could hear it? 676 00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,422 I'm tired of yelling. 677 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,717 Damn it. Now we got to figure 678 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,717 out where Dee goes in the bed. 679 00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:21,926 DENNIS: Oh, right, Dee's 680 00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:21,926 got to be in the bed. 681 00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:21,926 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 682 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,512 I'll tell you exactly 683 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,512 where Dee goes, okay? 684 00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:24,846 Dee goes right 685 00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:24,846 in the goddamn middle 686 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,890 of her brand-new 687 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,890 California king-size bed 688 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,892 all by herself. 689 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,228 How are we even having 690 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,228 this conversation?! 691 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,688 All you boys 692 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,688 have to do... 693 00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:36,358 Guys, all you got to do 694 00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:36,358 to win is just exist. 695 00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:41,572 Hey, morning, buddy. 696 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,114 You're up early. 697 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,866 Yeah, I'm up early, 698 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,866 and I'm feeling great. 699 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,868 You know, I was thinking 700 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,868 about it, and Dee was right. 701 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,870 All we have to do is exist here 702 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,870 for the next couple weeks, 703 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,121 and we win this bet. 704 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,331 So... check 705 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,331 this out. 706 00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,875 I made you that. 707 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,711 "Mac's Honey Do List"? 708 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,711 Yep. 709 00:13:55,753 --> 00:13:57,962 That is a list of chores to 710 00:13:55,753 --> 00:13:57,962 give you a sense of purpose, 711 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,923 so you don't feel so 712 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,923 cooped up and lonely. 713 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,342 How's a list of chores going 714 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,342 to make me feel less lonely? 715 00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,886 Well, check out 716 00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,886 chore number one. 717 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,888 "Name the dog." 718 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,807 Well, that's so stupid. 719 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,807 I don't have a dog. 720 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,892 You sure about that? 721 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,477 Yeah, positive. 722 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,477 I don't have a dog. 723 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,812 I mean, I had Poppins, 724 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,812 but he's gone. 725 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,188 Are you sure? 726 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,188 I don't have a dog. 727 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,940 What do you mean, am I sure? 728 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,940 Of course I'm sure. 729 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:17,899 I wouldn't 730 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:17,899 be so sure. 731 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,484 What are you doing? 732 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,484 Why... 733 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,819 What... are you okay? 734 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,819 Look behind you, asshole. 735 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,904 Oh. (gasps) 736 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,906 You got me a dog? 737 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,906 Yeah. 738 00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:27,325 Oh, my God, he's so cute! 739 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,910 I mean, he's no Poppins, but... 740 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,912 Yeah, he's a lot better 741 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,912 than Poppins, trust me. 742 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,497 Oh, Dennis, Dennis. 743 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,915 I'm gonna 744 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,915 name him Dennis. 745 00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:35,542 Huh? 746 00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:37,628 You're Dennis. 747 00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:37,628 He's Dennis Jr. 748 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,087 Weird. 749 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,005 Um, but sure, yeah, that's fine. 750 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,424 Hey, so why don't 751 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,424 you go ahead 752 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:43,759 and cross number one 753 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:43,759 off the list there? 754 00:14:43,801 --> 00:14:45,343 See how it feels. 755 00:14:43,801 --> 00:14:45,343 Okay, yeah. 756 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,929 Hey, what's a-a couple weeks 757 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,929 between two best friends, right? 758 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,431 It's whatever we make of it. 759 00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:51,015 So why don't we agree right now 760 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,644 to make these next few weeks 761 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,644 the best of our lives? 762 00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:54,936 You with me, buddy? 763 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,354 I'm with you. 764 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,649 I'm gonna raise this guy 765 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,649 like he was our own son. 766 00:14:58,690 --> 00:14:59,941 Okay. 767 00:14:58,690 --> 00:14:59,941 (laughing) 768 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,025 Yeah. Weird. 769 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,153 ♪ I remember when ♪ 770 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:07,783 ♪ I remember, I remember 771 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:07,783 when I lost my mind... ♪ 772 00:15:07,825 --> 00:15:09,951 No, don't merge, don't merge. 773 00:15:07,825 --> 00:15:09,951 We're all... we'll all wait! 774 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:12,245 We'll all wait 775 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:12,245 for you to send your text! 776 00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:13,955 You fat pig! 777 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:16,625 How you doing, neighbor? 778 00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:19,628 (whirring) 779 00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:19,628 ♪ Does that make me crazy? ♪ 780 00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:20,629 Shut up! 781 00:15:20,671 --> 00:15:22,380 (chirping) 782 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,634 ♪ Does that make me crazy? ♪ 783 00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:28,386 ♪ Does that make me crazy? 784 00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:28,386 DENNIS: 785 00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:28,386 I'm not letting you in, pig! 786 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,430 Gonna show up to work, 787 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,430 have everybody be like, 788 00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:31,973 "Why is there blood 789 00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:31,973 all over you?" 790 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,851 'Cause I had to slit 791 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,851 the guy's throat 792 00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,268 who causes all the traffic! 793 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,979 Boy, it sure is 794 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,979 a hot one, huh? 795 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:41,983 ♪ Who do you, 796 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:41,983 who do you think you are? ♪ 797 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,777 ♪ Ha ha ha, bless your soul ♪ 798 00:15:43,819 --> 00:15:44,986 (barking) 799 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,488 (chirping loudly) 800 00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:48,281 ♪ You really think ♪ 801 00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:48,281 Shut up. 802 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:49,991 ♪ You're in control? ♪ 803 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:49,991 (whirring) 804 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,075 (laughing): 805 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,075 I can't believe it. 806 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,370 ♪ Well, I think you're crazy ♪ 807 00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:55,246 Goddamn it! Damn it... 808 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,957 I hate the (bleep) suburbs! 809 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,957 ♪ I think you're crazy ♪ 810 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,671 ♪ I think you're crazy... ♪ 811 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,010 WALLY: 812 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,010 Hey, buddy. 813 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,012 Haven't seen you 814 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,012 for a bit. 815 00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:13,014 You've probably 816 00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:13,014 been staying inside 817 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,016 to avoid this, uh, 818 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,016 heat wave, huh? 819 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:17,060 Boy, it's been hot. 820 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,729 It's hot, huh? 821 00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:21,899 Yeah. 822 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:23,274 It is super hot. 823 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,068 Yeah. 824 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,404 It's getting real hot 825 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,404 around here. 826 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:30,281 So hot, Wally. 827 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,243 But you don't really know 828 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,243 what hot is, do you? 829 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:35,245 Hot's a storm. 830 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,664 You ever been in a storm, Wally? 831 00:16:37,706 --> 00:16:41,042 I mean, a real storm? 832 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:44,922 Not a thunderstorm, 833 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:44,922 but a storm of fists 834 00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:47,215 raining down on your head. 835 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,509 Blasting you in the face. 836 00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:52,053 Pummeling you 837 00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:52,053 in the stomach. 838 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:55,056 Hitting you in the chest 839 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:55,056 so hard 840 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,850 you think 841 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,850 your heart's gonna stop. 842 00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:59,728 You ever been in a storm 843 00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:59,728 like that, Wally? 844 00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:04,148 (screaming) 845 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,150 MAC: 846 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,150 Dennis. 847 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,527 Dennis. 848 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,031 You okay, dude? 849 00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:15,159 Yeah. 850 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,913 Who you talking to? 851 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:25,086 No one. 852 00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:26,671 What's that? 853 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,799 Dog grave. 854 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,134 Oh. 855 00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:35,346 Anything exciting 856 00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:35,346 happen at work today? 857 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,141 Uh-uh. 858 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,768 Well, I called up there. 859 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,812 They... they said 860 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,812 you weren't even there. 861 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,898 Can we not talk about my day? 862 00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:46,107 Sure. 863 00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,109 Perhaps we can talk 864 00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,109 about my day. 865 00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,111 And how was your day? 866 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,362 Not great. 867 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,406 You know, with the dog dying 868 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,406 and all, but... 869 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,826 somehow, old Mac 870 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,826 pulled it together. 871 00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:58,119 He cooked for you, 872 00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:58,119 and he cleaned for you. 873 00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,747 In fact, Dennis, 874 00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,747 everything I do, 875 00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:02,415 I do for you. 876 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,127 What are you talking about, man? 877 00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:08,755 I'm talking about 878 00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:08,755 everything I do, I do for you! 879 00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:10,007 And everything you do, 880 00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,175 you do for yourself! 881 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,052 Sleeping in your car. 882 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,595 Eating at Applebee's. 883 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,514 Were you spying on me? 884 00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,140 Oh, don't you turn this 885 00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,140 around on me. 886 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:20,600 All you do is think 887 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:20,600 about yourself! 888 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:22,060 You didn't even notice 889 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,687 that I switched up 890 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,687 the mac and cheese. 891 00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:26,189 Is that what this is about? 892 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:29,526 The goddamn 893 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:29,526 mac and cheese? 894 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,444 Well, yeah, I noticed! 895 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:33,154 You put meat hunks in it! 896 00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:35,365 Wow! Hunks of meat! 897 00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,075 Mmm! 898 00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,075 Well, of course Dennis 899 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,160 would like Dennis. 900 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,160 What? 901 00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:41,079 It's Dennis! 902 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,163 What are you talking about? 903 00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:43,790 You're eating the dog! 904 00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:45,917 (laughing wildly) 905 00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:51,339 Oh! Oh! 906 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,884 Oh, God! What is 907 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,884 wrong with you?! 908 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:56,427 I don't know! I guess it was 909 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:56,427 just a cry for attention! 910 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,179 You didn't even 911 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,179 blink twice 912 00:18:58,221 --> 00:18:59,848 when I told you 913 00:18:58,221 --> 00:18:59,848 that the dog was dead! 914 00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:02,183 I can't live with you anymore 915 00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:02,183 in this goddamn place. 916 00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:03,351 I'm out of here. 917 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,853 I'm gonna go stay 918 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,853 in a hotel. 919 00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:06,855 Where's my suitcase, Mac? 920 00:19:06,897 --> 00:19:08,899 Wait. Wait, wait. 921 00:19:06,897 --> 00:19:08,899 Wait, wait. 922 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,233 Dennis, Dennis, 923 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,233 Dennis, Dennis, Dennis... 924 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,617 Tell me about Mac's 925 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,617 famous mac and cheese. 926 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,411 Okay, I can explain. 927 00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:24,247 I called it my famous 928 00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:24,247 mac and cheese as-as a joke. 929 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,874 But then it seemed 930 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,874 like you like it. 931 00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:28,209 You like that it was 932 00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:28,209 Mac's famous mac and cheese. 933 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,587 And so I just 934 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,587 kept saying it. 935 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,587 You're pathetic. 936 00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,213 You're the one 937 00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,213 that's sitting at Applebee's 938 00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:33,214 eating pot stickers 939 00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:33,214 all by yourself. 940 00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:34,591 You're the one that's pathetic! 941 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:35,759 (doorbell rings) 942 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,428 Oh. 943 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:42,223 Well, that must 944 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:42,223 be nosy Wally. 945 00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:46,227 Coming to see what all 946 00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:46,227 the fighting's about. 947 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:50,273 Well... why don't we show him 948 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:50,273 what all the fighting's about? 949 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,233 Why don't we show 950 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,233 him right now? 951 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,233 Wait, wait, wait! 952 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:54,111 Dennis, Dennis, 953 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:54,111 calm down! 954 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,695 Don't you tell me 955 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,695 to calm down. 956 00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:56,863 (smoke alarm chirps) 957 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,448 There's that chirping again. 958 00:19:58,489 --> 00:19:59,741 How are you not hearing that? 959 00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:02,410 News flash, asshole! 960 00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:05,246 I've been hearing it 961 00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:05,246 the entire goddamn time! 962 00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:07,457 Then why wouldn't 963 00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:07,457 you say something?! 964 00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,292 Because I hate you! 965 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,669 Oh, my God. 966 00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,172 (growls) 967 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,465 (cheering) 968 00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:16,883 You did it! 969 00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:16,883 Look at this! 970 00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,885 Huh? We did what? 971 00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,885 You got this, man. 972 00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:20,261 In less than a minute... 973 00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:20,261 You're almost there. 974 00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:21,554 ...you guys will have 975 00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:21,554 been here a month. 976 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:22,764 Yep. 977 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:22,764 We almost... 978 00:20:22,806 --> 00:20:24,265 we almost 979 00:20:22,806 --> 00:20:24,265 won the bet? 980 00:20:22,806 --> 00:20:24,265 Yeah. 981 00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:25,934 We almost did it! 982 00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:25,934 W-W-We almost won the bet? 983 00:20:25,976 --> 00:20:27,268 We're gonna do it! 984 00:20:25,976 --> 00:20:27,268 We're gonna win the bet! 985 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,311 We're gonna win the bet! 986 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,311 Yeah! 987 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,063 Here it is, 988 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,063 paid in full: 989 00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:31,272 one year's rent. 990 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,732 (laughing): 991 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,732 Free rent for a year! 992 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,152 We did it! 993 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,152 We did it! 994 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,152 Free rent for... 995 00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:37,112 Wait. 996 00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:37,112 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 997 00:20:37,154 --> 00:20:38,571 Free rent for where? 998 00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:41,282 For right here. 999 00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:42,659 Here we go. 1000 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,869 In five, four, 1001 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:47,080 three, two, one. 1002 00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:49,124 ♪ ♪ 1003 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,753 Hey, guys. 1004 00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:56,380 Is he dead? 1005 00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,382 Yeah, I think so. 1006 00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:03,304 Quiet your ass down. 1007 00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:05,306 Sorry, black man. 1008 00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:07,100 Old man. 1009 00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:09,894 Old man. 1010 00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:09,894 Sorry, old black man. 1011 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,562 Goddamn it. 1012 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,392 (trumpet plays off-key fanfare) 1013 00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:50,601 Brown. 1014 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,562 Captioned by 1015 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,562 Media Access Group at WGBH 59174

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