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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:05,172 FRANK: Charlie, 2 00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:05,172 can I come in already? 3 00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:06,215 CHARLIE: 4 00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:06,215 Well, that depends, Frank. 5 00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:09,051 Are you done farting? 6 00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:09,051 FRANK: No. 7 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,678 Well, then you're gonna keep 8 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,678 hanging your ass out the window 9 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,137 till you're 10 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,137 done, all right? 11 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,639 Look, I-I warned you. 12 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,266 You want to put slices of rum 13 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,266 ham on a Grilled Charlie? 14 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,392 That's a stomach "bomba." 15 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:17,226 It's too much for your system. 16 00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:18,644 Then make me 17 00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:18,644 another one. 18 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,063 If I'm gonna stick my ass out 19 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,063 the window, I'm gonna eat. 20 00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:22,982 Unbelievable. 21 00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:22,982 All right, here we go. 22 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,275 I feel like it's gonna be a week 23 00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:26,068 before your system 24 00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:26,068 gets back to normal. 25 00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:27,194 Y-You can't just eat 26 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,738 whatever you... 27 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,738 Charlie... 28 00:00:28,780 --> 00:00:30,489 (crashing, shattering) 29 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,074 Holy shit! 30 00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:33,075 Are you okay?! 31 00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:37,162 Frank?! 32 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,456 Hey, are you all right? 33 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,082 (groans) 34 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,084 (echoing): 35 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,084 Hey! Are you okay? 36 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,795 (groans) 37 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,296 (echoing): 38 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,296 Are you all right, man? 39 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:47,256 Frank! 40 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:49,008 Where are you going?! 41 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,116 MAC: I'm the one that came up 42 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,116 with the chickens 43 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:15,701 to contaminate 44 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:15,701 the steaks. 45 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,787 I was the first one 46 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,787 to say that, right? 47 00:01:17,829 --> 00:01:19,163 I-I don't think so, no. 48 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,915 I don't think so. 49 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,915 You t... Are 50 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,915 you serious? 51 00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:23,125 No, I remember being 52 00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:23,125 on the phone and... 53 00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:23,125 Yeah, being totally serious. 54 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:25,670 Dennis, Deandra! 55 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,546 Yeah. 56 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,546 Uh... 57 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,546 What? 58 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,840 No, I-I... 59 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,840 I-I feel like 60 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,840 I came up with it. 61 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:29,757 It's me! 62 00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:30,842 What, do you want 63 00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:30,842 a goddamn medal? 64 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,259 Yeah, get out 65 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,259 of here, Frank. 66 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,678 We're right in the middle 67 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,678 of something very important. 68 00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:35,054 I was on the phone; 69 00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:35,054 I came up with it. 70 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,889 What are you talking about? 71 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,889 That never happened... 72 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,683 Your mother's dead. 73 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,100 I thought I was the one that... 74 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,100 Yeah, we know she's dead. 75 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,812 I think I was the one 76 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,812 that told you to make that call. 77 00:01:42,854 --> 00:01:44,438 I-I was just kidding. 78 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,274 Uh, your mother's 79 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,274 not really dead. 80 00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:50,319 Uh, I dropped that bomb 81 00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:50,319 to soften the blow. 82 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,321 We're getting divorced. 83 00:01:52,363 --> 00:01:53,155 Wh-What's happening? 84 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:54,156 Are you doing 85 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:54,156 a bit, Frank? 86 00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:55,324 It's not funny. 87 00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:56,826 (overlapping chatter) 88 00:01:56,868 --> 00:01:58,744 Hey! Hey! 89 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,371 Oh, shit, man, 90 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,371 are you okay? 91 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,789 And who might you be? 92 00:02:01,831 --> 00:02:03,165 Wh-What?! 93 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,291 Uh-oh, 94 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,291 he's finally lost it. 95 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,710 Should we toss him 96 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,710 in a home? 97 00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:06,627 Yep. 98 00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:06,627 I-I'll get the car. 99 00:02:06,669 --> 00:02:07,712 N-N-No, guys, guys. 100 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,171 Frank fell 101 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,171 out my window. 102 00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:10,464 We had our, like, 103 00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:10,464 fire escape taken off, 104 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:13,217 and, dude, you, like, must 105 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:13,217 have hit your head real hard. 106 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:16,178 (scoffs) Look, you seem 107 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:16,178 like a really nice kid. 108 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,389 But my head is fine. 109 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,682 Oh, my God. 110 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,682 (gasps) 111 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,682 Oh, shit. 112 00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:21,183 MAC: 113 00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:21,183 Oh, my God. 114 00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:23,185 Oh, it's his skull! 115 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:24,062 CHARLIE: 116 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:24,062 Uh, okay, Frank. 117 00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:26,022 Um, what day is it? 118 00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:26,022 Wednesday. 119 00:02:26,064 --> 00:02:27,773 Yes. 120 00:02:26,064 --> 00:02:27,773 Wrong, it's Tuesday. 121 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,484 Is it? 122 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,484 Actually, no, 123 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,484 it's-it's Wednesday. 124 00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:31,861 He's right. 125 00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:31,861 I... 126 00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:31,861 Did I lose a day? 127 00:02:31,903 --> 00:02:33,195 Yeah. 128 00:02:31,903 --> 00:02:33,195 Okay, you know 129 00:02:31,903 --> 00:02:33,195 what? I got one. 130 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:36,198 Um, what is the capital 131 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:36,198 of Pennsylvania? 132 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:36,198 Philadelphia. 133 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,868 Yes. No. 134 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,868 I don't think 135 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,868 that's right. 136 00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:40,119 Uh, is it Pittsburgh? 137 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,662 Uh, at one point, 138 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,662 it was Philly. 139 00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,163 I'm pretty sure. 140 00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,163 I don't think 141 00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,163 they change it. 142 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:45,666 MAC: All right, let's just, 143 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:45,666 let's ask something easier. 144 00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,334 Who's the president 145 00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,334 of the United States? 146 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,961 George Bush. 147 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,881 Nah, I was just kidding. 148 00:02:51,923 --> 00:02:54,216 The real president of the United 149 00:02:51,923 --> 00:02:54,216 States is Dick Cheney. 150 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:56,135 He's pulling 151 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:56,135 all the strings. 152 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,262 Ah, shit, Frank, what year 153 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,262 do you think it is? 154 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,347 2006. 155 00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:05,227 Oh, man. 156 00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:05,227 Whoa. 157 00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:05,227 Well, okay, so something 158 00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:05,227 clearly happened to Frank 159 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:06,437 when he fell out 160 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:06,437 of that window. 161 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,522 I think what happened is 162 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,522 he went through the window, 163 00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:13,235 and the window seemed to be some 164 00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:13,235 sort of portal to the year 2006. 165 00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:14,403 He has a concussion. 166 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:15,654 It's not 2006. 167 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,823 It's crazy, but stranger 168 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,823 things have happened. 169 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,617 No, they haven't. 170 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,617 No, they haven't. 171 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,617 DENNIS: A-A-All right. 172 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,077 Guys, guys, guys. 173 00:03:21,119 --> 00:03:22,578 You remember ten years ago 174 00:03:21,119 --> 00:03:22,578 when Frank first came back, 175 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,164 and he wanted to, like, give 176 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,164 all his money away to charity 177 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,540 and reconnect 178 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,540 with his kids and shit? 179 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,250 Right, then he started hanging 180 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,250 out with Mac and Charlie, 181 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:29,543 got a taste 182 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:29,543 of the bar lifestyle 183 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,003 and decided he'd rather 184 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,003 live in squalor. 185 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:35,257 Guys, we have an opportunity 186 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:35,257 to change history. 187 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,718 Are you talking about taking all 188 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,718 his money and kicking him out? 189 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,553 Of course that's what I'm 190 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,553 talking about. 191 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,553 Oh, yeah, yeah, 192 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,553 yeah. I want to do that. 193 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,221 I-I want to do that. 194 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,221 I'm in. 195 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,221 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 196 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,264 We got to come up 197 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,264 with a plan here. 198 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:44,142 What if Charlie and I take Frank 199 00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:46,226 to the strip club like before, 200 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,728 so he keeps thinking it's 2006? 201 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,480 We can't repeat the same 202 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,480 mistakes of the past. 203 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,023 'Cause that might 204 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,023 trigger his memories. 205 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,900 In fact, keep Charlie 206 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,900 away from Frank. 207 00:03:52,942 --> 00:03:53,609 I mean, he's drawn to him 208 00:03:53,651 --> 00:03:55,153 for some inexplicable reason. 209 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,070 Dee, here's what we'll do. 210 00:03:56,112 --> 00:03:57,279 You and I will 211 00:03:56,112 --> 00:03:57,279 actually reconnect 212 00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:58,697 with Frank this time 213 00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:58,697 instead of rejecting him. 214 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,699 Okay, we just got to figure out 215 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,699 a way to get him 216 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,326 to write us 217 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,326 a check for that money. 218 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,327 You know what 219 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,327 we could do is 220 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,286 we could do like 221 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,286 a Wyclef Jean thing 222 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,621 and create 223 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,621 a charity for Haiti 224 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,581 and then allegedly keep 225 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,581 all the money for ourselves. 226 00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:09,416 By the time he figures out 227 00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:09,416 what the hell's going on... 228 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,377 ♪ We'll be gone till November, 229 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,377 we'll be gone till November ♪ 230 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,755 DEE AND DENNIS: 231 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,755 ♪ And tell my baby 232 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,755 I'll be gone till November ♪ 233 00:04:14,797 --> 00:04:16,381 (mumbling lyrics) 234 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,383 DEE, DENNIS AND MAC: 235 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,383 ♪ February, March, April, May ♪ 236 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,845 ♪ June, July, August, 237 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,845 September... ♪ 238 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:23,097 You don't know the song. 239 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:23,097 You don't know the song. 240 00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:24,640 There was a good 241 00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:24,640 bounce to it. 242 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,475 All right, well, either 243 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,475 way, let's do that. 244 00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:30,354 (sighs) 245 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,856 Guigino's. 246 00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:32,773 DEE: 247 00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:32,773 Mm-hmm. 248 00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:33,983 That's a nice place. 249 00:04:34,025 --> 00:04:35,400 Yeah. 250 00:04:34,025 --> 00:04:35,400 Yeah. 251 00:04:34,025 --> 00:04:35,400 Yeah. 252 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,277 Fresh fish daily. 253 00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:41,949 How do you not have fish? 254 00:04:41,991 --> 00:04:43,701 Two can play at that game. 255 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,494 Banging your sister 256 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,494 is perverted. 257 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:48,914 We ever been here before? 258 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:49,748 No. 259 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,209 No, no... 260 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:52,334 So, so, so... 261 00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:53,919 Catch me up. 262 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,337 How's life? 263 00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:56,296 Uh, life's good, man. 264 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:57,339 Things have been, 265 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:57,339 uh, pretty good. 266 00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,133 I'm still working towards 267 00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,133 becoming a veterinarian. 268 00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:00,218 Of course. 269 00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:00,218 Mm-hmm. 270 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:01,093 Mm-hmm. 271 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:01,093 Yeah, yeah. 272 00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,678 And I'm still working 273 00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,678 toward my dreams 274 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,304 of becoming a 275 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,304 Broadway star. 276 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,725 Getting close but just haven't 277 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,725 quite found my traction. 278 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,268 Right. 279 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,268 FRANK: Mmm, 280 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,268 that's okay. 281 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,352 You got time. 282 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,352 DEE: Yeah. 283 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:11,478 Youse are young. 284 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,522 You're what, 25, 26? 285 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:15,357 Yeah. 286 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:17,068 Eh, give it a 287 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:17,068 few more years. 288 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:20,362 If it doesn't work 289 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:20,362 out, you move on. 290 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:20,362 (chuckles) 291 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:20,362 Mm-hmm. 292 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:23,365 I mean, y-you don't want to be 293 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:23,365 almost 40 working at a bar. 294 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:24,408 Right. 295 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:24,408 Nope. 296 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,367 No way. 297 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,369 I know that I've 298 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,369 been a lousy dad, 299 00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,371 but there's only one 300 00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,371 person to blame for that: 301 00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:31,207 your whore mother. 302 00:05:31,249 --> 00:05:32,457 Mmm. 303 00:05:31,249 --> 00:05:32,457 I don't like who 304 00:05:31,249 --> 00:05:32,457 she turned me into. 305 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:36,295 The big house, 306 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:36,295 the big car. 307 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,463 I'm giving it all away. 308 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,340 To charity. 309 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:43,719 Well, that is 310 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:43,719 a great idea. 311 00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,387 I thought you'd give me 312 00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,387 a lot of shit for that. 313 00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:46,847 Oh, no. 314 00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:46,847 Man, who do you 315 00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:46,847 think we are? 316 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:50,350 Oh, my gosh. 317 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:50,350 No, we are super 318 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:50,350 into helping people in need 319 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:51,560 and poor people and... 320 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:51,560 Yeah. Y-Y-Yeah, y-yeah. 321 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,395 Dennis and I, we 322 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,395 work very closely 323 00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:55,439 with a charity that, 324 00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:55,439 uh, that offers relief 325 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,398 for the Haiti disaster. 326 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,901 There was a 327 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,901 disaster in Haiti? 328 00:05:58,943 --> 00:06:00,819 (stammering): Oh, oh, had 329 00:05:58,943 --> 00:06:00,819 that not, had that had not... 330 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,321 to d... was it...? 331 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,406 Yeah, I-I just got to look a 332 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,406 quick thing up on my phone if... 333 00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,033 DENNIS: 334 00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,033 Um, s... Dad, uh... 335 00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:07,159 Whoa, wh-wh-wh-wh-whoa. 336 00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,410 What's that? 337 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:09,453 What is that? 338 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:09,453 My phone? 339 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,788 That's a phone?! 340 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,539 I've never seen anything 341 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,539 like it in my life. 342 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:16,001 That's because... 343 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:16,001 I invented it. 344 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,295 You invented that? 345 00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:18,420 Yep. 346 00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,131 That is genius. 347 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,715 Yeah, isn't it? 348 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,675 Dennis, I always thought you'd 349 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,675 be the one to move out in front. 350 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,427 No, it was her, 351 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,427 but it was her after me, 352 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,138 because, um, she actually 353 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,138 came up with that 354 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:29,265 after I had already 355 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:29,265 invented this. 356 00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:31,767 You invented that? 357 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,811 Yeah, I invented this first, 358 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,811 and then she copied me. 359 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,271 Well, you know what 360 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,271 I did? I upgraded it. 361 00:06:35,313 --> 00:06:36,438 I made it better. 362 00:06:35,313 --> 00:06:36,438 Oh. 363 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,481 And I was worried 364 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,481 that you were gonna 365 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,192 spend the rest of your 366 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,192 lives in that crap bar. 367 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,777 (all laugh) 368 00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:43,195 No, we're killing it. 369 00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,780 Well, here's to 370 00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,780 your futures. 371 00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:46,824 Hey, all right. 372 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,200 (laughs) 373 00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:51,370 (laughing): 374 00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:51,370 Oh, Dee, you bitch. 375 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,793 This is great, 376 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,793 Charlie. 377 00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,963 I am going to show you what life 378 00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,963 could be like without Frank. 379 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:03,590 Yeah, except the first time 380 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:03,590 we came here with Frank, 381 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,634 we brought home two 382 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,634 strippers, so... 383 00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,136 Yeah, but he banged 384 00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,136 both of them. 385 00:07:07,178 --> 00:07:08,220 Uh, true, yeah. 386 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:09,471 This time, 387 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:09,471 you and I are gonna be 388 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:10,848 the ones that bang 389 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:10,848 the strippers. 390 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,557 Right. Well, why do 391 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,557 you want to bang them? 392 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,185 Oh. 393 00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,645 'Cause it's 2006, and 394 00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,645 you're still into women. 395 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:18,022 (chuckles) 396 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:18,022 Crazy. 397 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,690 Huh? 398 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,690 You're not... 399 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,942 You haven't become... 400 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,942 Just drop it, 401 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,942 just drop it, just drop it. 402 00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:25,445 Yeah, I-I'll drop it. 403 00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:25,445 Hey! 404 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,156 Frankie, what's up, man? 405 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,156 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 406 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,156 What are you doing here? 407 00:07:27,198 --> 00:07:28,324 I thought you were out 408 00:07:27,198 --> 00:07:28,324 with your kids. 409 00:07:28,366 --> 00:07:29,491 You mind if I sit down? 410 00:07:28,366 --> 00:07:29,491 Yeah, absolutely not. 411 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,285 Pop a squat, Frankie. 412 00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:32,286 Goddamn it, I-I... 413 00:07:32,328 --> 00:07:34,496 Oh, my God. 414 00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,956 You poor baby. 415 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,708 What happened 416 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,708 to your head? 417 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,168 Ooh. 418 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:40,585 Eh, it's nothing-- 419 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:40,585 just a little scratch. 420 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,880 -No, it looks infected. 421 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,880 -It does? 422 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,882 Maybe give you 423 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,882 a lap dance? 424 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,345 (laughing, chattering) 425 00:07:49,387 --> 00:07:51,305 Whoa. 426 00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:53,598 Make yourself at home-- 427 00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:53,598 welcome to mi casa. 428 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,518 You got any booze? 429 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,518 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah-- in 430 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,518 the bed, under the pillow. 431 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:57,644 Oh, oh. 432 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:57,644 Oh, gosh. 433 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,563 I love it, 434 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,563 it's so spacious. 435 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,148 It's one goddamn room. 436 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,525 You have a steak knife 437 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,525 in your bed. 438 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:04,526 Oh, well, that's 439 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:04,526 Frank's, uh... 440 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:07,529 Um, that is my toe knife. 441 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,407 It's your what? 442 00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:10,782 Uh, that's my 443 00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:10,782 t-toe knife. 444 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,118 For, you know, digging 445 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,118 the scum out of my toes... 446 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,746 It's disgusting, disgusting. 447 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,746 and cutting my nails off. 448 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:18,540 Y-You cut your toenails 449 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:18,540 with a knife? 450 00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:19,417 Yeah. Well, yeah. 451 00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:19,417 He does. 452 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,542 I mean, it's, uh... 453 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,542 Gross. 454 00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,127 a cleaner cut, really. 455 00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:26,548 ...scum out of my toenail. 456 00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:27,549 Oh, botched toe. 457 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:28,800 That is disgusting. 458 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,553 FRANK (echoing): 459 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,553 Toe knife. 460 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,097 Maybe I ought to try that. 461 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,890 I don't think you should; 462 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,890 can I talk to you outside 463 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,559 for a second? 464 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,559 Just one second. Thank you. 465 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,559 All right, all right. 466 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,561 Man. 467 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,561 Dude, we have to stop 468 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,561 what's going on in there. 469 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,313 Why? We're about to bang 470 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,313 a couple strippers. 471 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,606 Don't you see? 472 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,606 We're making the same mistakes 473 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,024 that we made 474 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,024 with Frank years ago. 475 00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,276 Don't you understand? 476 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,569 He is on a bang path 477 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,569 straight to the waitress. 478 00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:50,072 Oh, shit. All right, 479 00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:50,072 definitely want to avoid that. 480 00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:51,282 All right, 481 00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:51,282 let's pull him. 482 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,532 Okay, yeah. 483 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,532 Let's pull him out. 484 00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:55,494 He locked us out. 485 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,079 He did?! 486 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,079 Yes. 487 00:08:57,121 --> 00:08:59,164 So it is 2006. 488 00:09:04,462 --> 00:09:05,837 DEE AND DENNIS: 489 00:09:04,462 --> 00:09:05,837 ♪ I'll be gone till November ♪ 490 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,589 ♪ I'll be gone 491 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,589 till November ♪ 492 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,300 ♪ Yo, tell my girl 493 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,300 I'll be gone till November ♪ 494 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,469 You know what, 495 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,469 say what you want about Wyclef, 496 00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,262 he may have stolen money 497 00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,262 from his own people, 498 00:09:13,304 --> 00:09:15,597 but that man can write 499 00:09:13,304 --> 00:09:15,597 a goddamn song. 500 00:09:13,304 --> 00:09:15,597 Oh, nice. 501 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,682 Right? 502 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,682 He's an excellent 503 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,682 songwriter. 504 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:18,600 And that is an 505 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:18,600 excellent song. 506 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:19,935 Mm-hmm. 507 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:19,935 But, Dee, Dee, look. 508 00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,186 I want to talk to you 509 00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,186 about something, okay? 510 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,397 We have a once-in-a-lifetime 511 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,397 opportunity here. 512 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,397 Yes. 513 00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:25,065 We have a real 514 00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:25,065 second chance. 515 00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:25,065 I know. 516 00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:27,526 S-So I want to talk to 517 00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:27,526 you about our future. 518 00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:27,526 Yes. 519 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,610 Should we get into it? 520 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,610 Yes. 521 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,404 All right, here, sit 522 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,404 down for a second. 523 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,404 Okay. 524 00:09:30,446 --> 00:09:31,696 'Cause in order 525 00:09:30,446 --> 00:09:31,696 to do that, 526 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:32,823 I think we're gonna 527 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:32,823 have to get real. 528 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:32,823 Okay. 529 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,699 And I want to get very 530 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,699 real with you right now. 531 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,577 Yeah, go ahead. 532 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,577 Can I do that? Because I feel 533 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,577 like I'm almost coddling you. 534 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,371 Interesting. 535 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,371 But that's neither 536 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,371 here nor there. 537 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,832 I just want to get real with 538 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,832 you f-for a second, okay? 539 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,832 Yeah, go ahead. 540 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:42,624 So the acting thing. 541 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,668 Mm-hmm. 542 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,668 It's done. 543 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,920 But it's been done 544 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,920 for a long time. 545 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,630 I mean, you were 546 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,630 too old in 2006. 547 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,215 You're way too old now. 548 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,634 And you're bad at it. 549 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,431 Thank you. 550 00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,433 For your honesty. 551 00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,433 Yeah, is it... 552 00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,433 are you cool? 553 00:09:59,475 --> 00:10:00,934 Oh, so much do I appreciate 554 00:09:59,475 --> 00:10:00,934 you for that. 555 00:09:59,475 --> 00:10:00,934 Thank you. 556 00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:02,978 Okay, good. 557 00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:02,978 That must have 558 00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:02,978 been hard for you. 559 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,229 It was. 560 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,229 To say. 561 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,064 Can I be honest with you? 562 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,064 I-I need you to. 563 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,191 Right? 564 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,191 Right. 565 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,528 Okay, so the 566 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,528 veterinarian thing. 567 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,528 Yeah. 568 00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:13,030 I feel like the only reason 569 00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:13,030 you wanted to be a vet 570 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,656 was to keep the skins. 571 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,616 What? 572 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,910 You want to keep 573 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,910 the skins, don't you? 574 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,663 There's no denying the 575 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,663 skins are fascinating. 576 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,914 It's the most fascinating 577 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,914 part of the animal. 578 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,666 The skin of any animal is 579 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,666 the most fascinating part, 580 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,043 Mmm... 581 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,043 but that's not why I 582 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,043 wanted to become... 583 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,628 Also you're going bald. 584 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,628 I'm going bald?! 585 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,672 What are you 586 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,672 talking about?! 587 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,672 Just in... 588 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,672 in the interest of being real. 589 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,551 Where in the hell am I 590 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,551 possibly going bald? 591 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,551 In the back of your head... 592 00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:35,677 There's no evidence of that. 593 00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:35,677 There's quite a bit of ev... 594 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,304 I'll get two mirrors; 595 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,304 I'll show it to you. 596 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,306 Don't get mirrors, because... 597 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,306 You're not gonna find anything. 598 00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:40,724 I see fat spilling 599 00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:40,724 over the back of your pants 600 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:41,725 on a pretty regular basis. 601 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:41,725 (stammers) 602 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:42,893 What the hell are 603 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:42,893 you talking about?! 604 00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,019 I'm just trying 605 00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,019 to let you know. 606 00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,229 And by the way, 607 00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,229 there's no reason 608 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,105 why a bald man 609 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,105 who enjoys skins 610 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,690 who has a little bit of 611 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,690 extra something-something 612 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,609 around his belly can't be 613 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,609 a goddamn veterinarian! 614 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,570 Okay, you know what, I can act! 615 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,570 You are a wrinkled bitch! 616 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:53,945 I'm gonna tell you something, 617 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:53,945 my characters are good. 618 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,199 Okay, let's stop, stop, 619 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,199 stop, stop, stop, stop. 620 00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:58,825 I-I don't want to do 621 00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:58,825 this with you, okay? 622 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,118 Do you see what's 623 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,118 happening? We're... 624 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,704 We just jumped right back in; 625 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,704 we just leapt right back in. 626 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:03,788 Into our old routines. 627 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:03,788 Same old place. 628 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:04,915 And I-I don't want 629 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:04,915 to do that, okay? 630 00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:06,708 'Cause... Let's 631 00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:06,708 just focus here. 632 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:07,792 Here's what 633 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:07,792 we're gonna do. 634 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,044 We're gonna polish 635 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,044 off this wine. 636 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,044 Yeah. 637 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,921 And then we're gonna open 638 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,921 up a new bottle of vino. 639 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,089 Ooh. 640 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,089 (chuckles) 641 00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,383 And let's talk about 642 00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,383 our real futures. 643 00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:15,967 ♪ I'll be gone 644 00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:15,967 till November... ♪ 645 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,178 To new beginnings. 646 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:20,055 ♪ And tell my girl, yo, 647 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:20,055 I'll be gone till... ♪ 648 00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:21,973 (alarm rings) 649 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,232 (groans) 650 00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:32,817 Dennis. 651 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,736 Dennis, wake up. 652 00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:35,820 Aah. 653 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,989 (groans) 654 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,741 I'm up, I'm up, 655 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,741 I'm up. 656 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:41,743 Look what we did. 657 00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,703 (groans) 658 00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:47,791 Is that a crack pipe? 659 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,209 Yes. 660 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,835 No, no. 661 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,835 (groaning): 662 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,835 No. 663 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,255 No, no, no. 664 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:55,757 How'd this happen again? 665 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,384 (groans) 666 00:11:57,426 --> 00:12:00,762 Well, it looks like we drank 667 00:11:57,426 --> 00:12:00,762 everything in the entire world, 668 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,348 and then we went out 669 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,348 and bought some crack, 670 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,766 and we smoked it. 671 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,017 Yeah, a-a-all right, 672 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,017 that's fine. 673 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,646 No, n-no, we just, 674 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,646 we... we slipped up. 675 00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:09,563 It's-it's not a big deal. 676 00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:10,522 Like, we'll... 677 00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:10,522 you know, 678 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:11,940 we'll... pull 679 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:11,940 ourselves together, 680 00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,900 and we'll, you know, 681 00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,900 we'll get back on crack. 682 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,027 I mean, on track. 683 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,363 Unless, um, you have 684 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,363 more crack. 685 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,948 No, Dennis, I don't 686 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,948 have more crack. 687 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:20,991 No one in the 688 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:20,991 history of crack 689 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:23,952 has ever woken up in the 690 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:23,952 morning with more crack. 691 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,787 (sighs) Okay, but if I'm 692 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,787 being honest with you, 693 00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:28,039 if I'm being 694 00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:28,039 very, very real, 695 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,916 I need to be high 696 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,916 on crack cocaine right now. 697 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,793 You know what we can do? 698 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,793 I've got a great idea. 699 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:32,794 Once we get 700 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:32,794 Frank's money, 701 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:33,878 we'll just take 702 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:33,878 all of that money 703 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,339 and put ourselves in rehab, 704 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:36,674 'cause we're not gonna 705 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:36,674 stop smoking crack. 706 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:37,841 It's all 707 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:37,841 I'm thinking about. 708 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,176 All right, so we just 709 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,176 got to figure out 710 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,595 another way to 711 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,595 get some money. 712 00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:43,763 I have a idea. 713 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:47,225 Hi. 714 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,810 I'm a recovering 715 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,810 crackhead, 716 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,771 and this is my donkey-brained 717 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,771 sister that I take care of. 718 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:52,856 (hums) 719 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,316 I'd like some 720 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,316 welfare, please. 721 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:56,193 You're a recovering 722 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:56,193 crack addict, 723 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:59,697 and your sister has... 724 00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,323 the brains of a donkey? 725 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,283 Mmm. 726 00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,118 We thought that you might 727 00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,118 be a little bit skeptical, 728 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,244 so we brought proof. 729 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,787 Dee? 730 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:16,838 Well, you clearly replaced the 731 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:16,838 name Frank with the name Dee, 732 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:20,676 and you crossed out the word 733 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:20,676 "not" on this document. 734 00:13:20,718 --> 00:13:23,470 Nevertheless, I do not know 735 00:13:20,718 --> 00:13:23,470 what the hell this document is. 736 00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,389 Well, that's... that's an 737 00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,389 official State's, uh... 738 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,516 I'm gonna go ahead 739 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,516 and stop you. 740 00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:29,184 None of this 741 00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:29,184 matters to me. 742 00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:32,103 So I don't need 743 00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:32,103 the whole song and dance. 744 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,273 If you want welfare... 745 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,859 you'll just have to fill out 746 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,859 a bunch of this paperwork, 747 00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:41,363 'cause I'm done 748 00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:41,363 with this bullshit. 749 00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:43,699 This is good news. 750 00:13:43,741 --> 00:13:44,866 This is great, isn't it? 751 00:13:43,741 --> 00:13:44,866 Oh, yeah. 752 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,577 I mean, times have 753 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,577 really changed. 754 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,577 They have, I know. 755 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,078 You just fill out 756 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,078 the paperwork now. 757 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,954 You don't have to prove 758 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,954 anything, you know what I mean? 759 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,707 You just get the money now. 760 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,707 Obama just gives you 761 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,707 the money; it's great. 762 00:13:51,749 --> 00:13:53,751 There's a lot of paperwork 763 00:13:51,749 --> 00:13:53,751 to fill out, though. 764 00:13:51,749 --> 00:13:53,751 Yeah, could you write faster? 765 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:54,793 I need some more crack. 766 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:55,419 I'm starting to come 767 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:55,419 down pretty hard. 768 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,503 Okay, listen, Dee, 769 00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:58,129 I'm writing as fast 770 00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:58,129 as I can, okay? 771 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,131 I-I also want crack. 772 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,131 Sorry. 773 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,883 I don't get why we're coming 774 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,883 here to find a roommate. 775 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,719 You know, what about living 776 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,719 with the waitress, too? 777 00:14:03,761 --> 00:14:05,095 The waitress is not going 778 00:14:03,761 --> 00:14:05,095 to live with you. 779 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,430 This is our only 780 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,430 option, okay? 781 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:08,890 People in the welfare store 782 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:08,890 are in a pinch, so are you. 783 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:09,891 Yeah, that's 784 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:09,891 a good point. 785 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,309 Uh... 786 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,394 Wait. 787 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:13,353 Is that Dennis and Dee? 788 00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:14,479 Hi. 789 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:15,897 Hey, guys. 790 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:16,981 Wh-What are you 791 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:16,981 doing here? 792 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,400 Yeah, did you get Frank 793 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,400 to write the check? 794 00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:19,901 Dude, we're well on our way. 795 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,278 (chuckles) 796 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,278 Yeah, but in the meantime, 797 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,154 we came here because we need 798 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,154 some money to buy crack. 799 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,489 You guys 800 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,489 are smoking crack again? 801 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,865 It's not a big deal, 802 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,865 because, uh, 803 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:26,908 as soon as we get 804 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:26,908 that check from Frank, 805 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,910 we're just gonna zip right off 806 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,910 to a-a rehab program. 807 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:29,745 Yeah, we'll get in rehab. 808 00:14:29,787 --> 00:14:31,371 You guys are 809 00:14:29,787 --> 00:14:31,371 back on crack, 810 00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,081 Frank brought strippers 811 00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,081 back to my place, 812 00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:35,041 we're all bumping into each 813 00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:35,041 other at the welfare store, 814 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,961 and yet I'm the only person 815 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,961 who thinks it's 2006. 816 00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:39,588 ♪ You, you got what I need... ♪ 817 00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:40,547 Oh... 818 00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:40,547 What? 819 00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:42,591 It's him! 820 00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:42,591 It's him, everyone, shut up. 821 00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:44,926 Oh, it's Frank, shut up! 822 00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:44,926 Okay? Shh. 823 00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,470 Hey, Frank. Daddy. 824 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,847 Daddy. 825 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,847 Yeah. Hi, 826 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,847 how are you? 827 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,890 What's up? 828 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:51,975 No shit. 829 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,143 No shit! 830 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,686 Yes, we will be there 831 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,686 in just a few minutes. 832 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,605 Okay, bye! 833 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,605 What is it, what do you... 834 00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:58,356 Oh, shit, 835 00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:58,356 great news, guys. 836 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,483 Great news. 837 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,483 No problem with the check. 838 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,525 We just gotta meet 839 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,525 with his money man 840 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,610 and he's just gonna 841 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,610 write it to us. 842 00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:02,653 Big fat check for us. 843 00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:02,653 Oh, my God, yes. 844 00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,070 We're going to see money man. 845 00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,070 Get rid of that! 846 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,447 All right. 847 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,447 Let's go get some crack. 848 00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:06,990 Yeah. 849 00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:06,990 I mean the check. 850 00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:06,990 We're gonna... 851 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,950 Right, yeah. 852 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,950 Get some crack. 853 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,661 (exhales) 854 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:11,703 Still need a 855 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:11,703 roommate, right? 856 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:12,830 Yeah, what about this guy? 857 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,372 Oh, come on, 858 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,372 man. 859 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,957 Don't just do 860 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,957 that, you know? 861 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,292 Knew you were 862 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,292 gonna do that. 863 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,460 Anyone else. 864 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,460 Look at him. 865 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:23,841 WOMAN: 866 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:23,841 Mr. Reynolds. 867 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,717 Lauren Kerwin. 868 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,717 We spoke earlier. 869 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,637 Hello, toots. 870 00:15:28,679 --> 00:15:30,639 Hello. 871 00:15:28,679 --> 00:15:30,639 (Frank cackles) 872 00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:32,599 Yeah, so where's 873 00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:32,599 Jer-Bear? 874 00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:34,852 Mr. Doran? 875 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,354 Oh, um... 876 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,605 he-he passed away. 877 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:42,526 (laughing) 878 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,278 He passed... 879 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,446 Jerry! 880 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,239 Jerry, come on in here, 881 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,239 don't give me that. 882 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,950 Don't make your secretary 883 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,950 pull that bit on us. 884 00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:51,993 Come on, Jerry. 885 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,745 Um, I'm not his secretary 886 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,997 and he's been dead for years. 887 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,124 Really. So... 888 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,459 Uh... 889 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,459 well, anyway, 890 00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:01,837 my kids turned me on 891 00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:01,837 to an idea last night. 892 00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,714 Yeah. 893 00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,714 All right, look, tell 'em 894 00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,714 about your invention. 895 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:06,007 Well, the charity that... 896 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:06,007 Huh? 897 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:09,010 Not the, not the charity. 898 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:09,010 The phone. 899 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,554 The phone-- 900 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,554 they're being modest. 901 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:13,014 Tell her, show her 902 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:13,014 about the phone. 903 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,308 Show the broad 904 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,308 the phone. 905 00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:22,816 (exhales) 906 00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:26,570 You goddamn bitch! 907 00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,697 You wouldn't know a good idea 908 00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,697 if it smacked you in a tit. 909 00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:31,282 She's gonna be gone by 2007, 910 00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:31,282 you mark my words. 911 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,826 DENNIS: 912 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,826 She's a stupid... 913 00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,160 stupid idiot. 914 00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,160 Yes, she's a dumb... 915 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,495 dumb bitch. 916 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,495 A stupid moron. 917 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,621 So, those people 918 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,621 on Haiti. 919 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,874 Now we can help them 920 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,874 with the mon-- your money. 921 00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:41,125 No, no... Haiti? 922 00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:41,125 Haiti's a lost cause. 923 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,002 You might as well sink 924 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,002 that goddamn island 925 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,588 What are you talking about? 926 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,588 DEE: (gasps) 927 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,588 No, not a lost cause, 928 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,130 no, you said you wanted 929 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,130 to help poor people. 930 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,758 I am going to help 931 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,758 the poor people. 932 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,093 I'm gonna help you, 933 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,093 because you are my children 934 00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,762 and I gotta think 935 00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,762 of your future. 936 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:53,054 W-What? 937 00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:54,514 This is for you. 938 00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:56,975 (inhales) 939 00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:56,975 There you go. 940 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,894 (both inhale sharply) 941 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,894 Oh! 942 00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:00,938 Oh, that's a lot of zeroes! 943 00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:00,938 Oh, Dee... 944 00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,105 Yeah, that's a lot of zeroes. 945 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,565 Yeah. We will. 946 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,565 Oh, Daddy, we're gonna do 947 00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:04,775 such good things 948 00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:04,775 with this money. 949 00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:04,775 Yes. 950 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,860 We're gonna help people, 951 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,860 we're gonna invent. 952 00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,570 Let's do it now, though. 953 00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,570 Let's move. 954 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:09,696 Yeah, we'll go deposit it. 955 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:09,696 Invent, invent, 956 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:09,696 invent, invent, right. 957 00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:10,113 That was a very good 958 00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:10,113 decision-- thank you! 959 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,489 Do it right away, 960 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,489 do it right away. 961 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,783 (Dee giggles) 962 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,783 You're a great dad. 963 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:13,951 Oh, Daddy! 964 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:13,951 You're a great dad. 965 00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:15,034 You're right. 966 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,539 (echoing): 967 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,539 You are crackheads, children. 968 00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:23,543 MAC: 969 00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:23,543 I want to thank you, gentlemen, 970 00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:23,543 for your interest 971 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:24,586 in the roommate 972 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:24,586 position. 973 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:26,087 You're both 974 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:26,087 excellent candidates. 975 00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:28,089 We have Edgar 976 00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,299 and Trevor, 977 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,260 who is an aspiring 978 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,260 jazz musician. 979 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:33,511 That's interesting, 980 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,014 because Charlie is actually 981 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,014 a musician himself. 982 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,557 Mmm, don't really 983 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,557 care for jazz, though. 984 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,101 A lot of 985 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,101 unnecessary notes. 986 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,020 (door opens) 987 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,020 FRANK: 988 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,020 Hey! 989 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,146 Got room for one more? 990 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,564 Frank, what are 991 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,564 you doing here? 992 00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,649 Charlie, the other night 993 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,108 was the greatest night 994 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,108 of my life. 995 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,359 I used to live like that, 996 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,111 in filth and squalor. 997 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,112 I want to do it again. 998 00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,864 Absolutely not. 999 00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,864 We are not doing this again. 1000 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,073 You know what? 1001 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,073 I'm gonna consider it. 1002 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:54,950 Gah... 1003 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:54,950 Frank, 1004 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:54,950 have a seat. 1005 00:17:54,992 --> 00:17:56,117 Oh, Charlie. 1006 00:17:54,992 --> 00:17:56,117 Yeah, yeah, 1007 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:57,118 have a seat, 1008 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:57,118 all right. 1009 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:57,118 Yeah, yeah. 1010 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,829 All right, 1011 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,829 let's begin. 1012 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,664 Okay, uh, first topic 1013 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,664 is cat food. 1014 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,666 You want to lead 1015 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,666 with that? 1016 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,666 Mm-hmm. 1017 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,125 Cat food. 1018 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,125 Yeah. 1019 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:06,336 Okay. 1020 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:06,336 You find a can of cat 1021 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:06,336 food in the apartment. 1022 00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,129 What do you 1023 00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,129 do with it? 1024 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,131 I don't do 1025 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,131 nothing with it. 1026 00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:12,300 Don't touch my shit, 1027 00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:15,720 I don't touch your shit. 1028 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:16,805 Great. 1029 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:16,805 Okay. 1030 00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:17,848 He-he doesn't 1031 00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:17,848 touch your shit... 1032 00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:17,848 Yeah. 1033 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,724 That was very clear. 1034 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,724 ...and then 1035 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,724 you don't... 1036 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,142 So eloquent. 1037 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,142 Very clear. 1038 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,142 What are you writing? 1039 00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:23,186 I filled in half 1040 00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:23,186 the can of cat food. 1041 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:25,146 It's sort of a 1042 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:25,146 half-full answer. 1043 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:25,146 Great. 1044 00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,649 Trevor, your position 1045 00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,649 on the matter? 1046 00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:29,985 I'd ask if the 1047 00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:29,985 can is yours, 1048 00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:31,152 and, uh, if so, 1049 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:34,405 would you like me 1050 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:34,405 to feed the cat? 1051 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,074 Oh... 1052 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,074 Oh, see, 1053 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,074 now he assumes 1054 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,575 that you have a cat. 1055 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,575 Right. 1056 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,202 Smart. He doesn't 1057 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,202 have a cat. 1058 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,328 CHARLIE: 1059 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,328 Yeah, so... 1060 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,328 Oh. 1061 00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:41,538 Yeah. 1062 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,164 Kind of a waste 1063 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,164 to-to feed a cat 1064 00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,207 that's not mine. 1065 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,752 For me, it depends 1066 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,752 on how hungry I was. 1067 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,671 Or sleepy. 1068 00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:50,755 Oh, very interesting. 1069 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,173 Couple of points for 1070 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,173 Frank right there. 1071 00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:53,758 W-Why? 1072 00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:53,758 Well, I don't understand. 1073 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,552 He gets points for... 1074 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,595 Yeah, eating it 1075 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,595 and then... 1076 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,595 Well, if I was hungry 1077 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,472 and the cat food was there, 1078 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,472 I'd eat it. 1079 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,472 And if you 1080 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,472 were sleepy... 1081 00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:01,516 If I couldn't go to sleep... 1082 00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:01,516 You would... 1083 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:02,893 I would eat the cat food 1084 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:02,893 and go to sleep. 1085 00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:03,727 'Cause it might 1086 00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:03,727 make you go to sleep! 1087 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,144 All right. 1088 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,144 In what scenario 1089 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,563 do you not eat 1090 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,563 the cat food? 1091 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,231 I would always eat the cat food. 1092 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,231 Yeah, no. 1093 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,733 Exactly right. 1094 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,733 See, now there's a man 1095 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,192 who's-who's thinking 1096 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,192 on his feet. 1097 00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,402 MAC: Trevor is 1098 00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,402 a great roommate. 1099 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,403 He's a nice guy; 1100 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,403 he doesn't have 1101 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:16,197 the experience, though. 1102 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:16,197 Experience? In what? 1103 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,199 Well, all these good things. 1104 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,199 Let's keep talking. 1105 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,660 Hey, I'm sorry, 1106 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,660 am I... too late? 1107 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,660 Oh. 1108 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,286 Wow, hi. 1109 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:23,621 What-what are you 1110 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:23,621 doing here? 1111 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,331 I called her, actually. 1112 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,331 I left her a message 1113 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,125 'cause I thought she might need 1114 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,125 a place to live. 1115 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,127 The last couple of years 1116 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,127 have been pretty rough on me, 1117 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,629 and now I'm living 1118 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,629 in a women's shelter, so... 1119 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,172 Oh... 1120 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,172 Yeah, I figured that. 1121 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,172 'Cause she's the worst. 1122 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,758 Is the apartment 1123 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,758 still available or not? 1124 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,051 Well, yeah, it's 1125 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,051 definitely available. 1126 00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:37,510 Great. 1127 00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:37,510 Yes! 1128 00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:39,429 Oh, I've brokered a deal! 1129 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,305 Oh, no, come on, Charlie. 1130 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,640 I-I'm sorry, Frank, 1131 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,183 but you know I'm not gonna 1132 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,183 give up an opportunity 1133 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,351 to have The Waitress 1134 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,351 as a roommate. 1135 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,228 A roommate? 1136 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,228 N-n-n... no, no. 1137 00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,230 No, no, you did not say that. 1138 00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,230 You did not say 1139 00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:50,314 he would still 1140 00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:50,314 be living here. 1141 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:51,566 MAC: That's true, 1142 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:51,566 I did not say that, 1143 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,234 because I didn't think 1144 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,234 you would come if I did. 1145 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:54,903 Yeah, well, you're goddamn right 1146 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:54,903 I wouldn't have come. 1147 00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:56,780 I am not living with Charlie. 1148 00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:56,780 Are you kidding? 1149 00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,239 I would rather live 1150 00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,239 on the streets. 1151 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,158 You'd rather live 1152 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,158 on the streets? 1153 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,158 Yeah. 1154 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,242 What? Ow! 1155 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:02,702 Ow, my God! 1156 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:02,702 What are you doing? 1157 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,245 Put me down! 1158 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,245 What the hell 1159 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,245 are you doing? 1160 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:05,538 Charlie, what 1161 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:05,538 are you doing? 1162 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:05,538 Ow! 1163 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,331 I was gonna throw her 1164 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,331 out the window 1165 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,542 and send her 1166 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,542 back to 2006! 1167 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,542 You were going 1168 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,542 to throw me out the window? 1169 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:10,919 What the hell 1170 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:10,919 is wrong with you?! 1171 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:10,919 CHARLIE: 1172 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:10,919 It's a time portal! 1173 00:20:10,961 --> 00:20:13,421 Back in time! 1174 00:20:10,961 --> 00:20:13,421 We could start over again! 1175 00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:16,382 (arguing continues) 1176 00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:16,382 This is really good. 1177 00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:21,012 (echoing): 1178 00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:21,012 This is ham soaked in rum. 1179 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,221 Rum ham, rum ham. 1180 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:23,264 ...and make me another. 1181 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:24,474 Rum ham! 1182 00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:25,516 Who wants rum ham? 1183 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,517 (screaming) 1184 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:27,602 Rum ham. 1185 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,730 You are such a psycho. 1186 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,730 CHARLIE: 1187 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,730 The window is 1188 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,730 a time portal 1189 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,732 to 2006. 1190 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,732 What is he 1191 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,732 talking about? 1192 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,610 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1193 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:38,237 What the hell's everybody doing 1194 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:38,237 in my apartment? 1195 00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:43,034 We having a gang bang? 1196 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:43,994 Oh, my God. Get... 1197 00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:45,703 get the hell out of my way. 1198 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,413 Welcome back, 1199 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,413 Frankie! 1200 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,456 (laughing) 1201 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,374 Oh, the farts, man. 1202 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,502 That's good. 1203 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,502 Oh. Oh, the fart. 1204 00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:53,294 TELLER: 1205 00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:53,294 I'm sorry, 1206 00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:56,006 I can't cash this check. 1207 00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:57,381 Why? I mean, 1208 00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:57,381 I know the number's really, 1209 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,591 really big, but the check 1210 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,591 is real. Are you sure you... 1211 00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:00,301 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1212 00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:00,301 That's a real check. 1213 00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:01,302 No, it's outdated. 1214 00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:02,512 No, he just wrote it yesterday. 1215 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:05,306 No, it is clearly 1216 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:05,306 dated 2006. 1217 00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:08,101 ♪ Oh, baby, you got 1218 00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:08,101 what I need... ♪ 1219 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:11,729 Goddamn it. 1220 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:11,729 Son of a bitch. 1221 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,024 Captioned by 1222 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,024 Media Access Group at WGBH 1223 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:16,067 ♪ But you say 1224 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:16,067 he's just a friend ♪ 1225 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,028 ♪ But you say he's just 1226 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,028 a friend ♪ 1227 00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:21,072 ♪ Oh, baby, you ♪ 1228 00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:24,075 ♪ Got what I need ♪ 1229 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,870 ♪ But you say 1230 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,870 he's just a friend ♪ 1231 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,330 ♪ But you say he's just 1232 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,330 a friend ♪ 1233 00:21:29,372 --> 00:21:32,083 ♪ So I took Blah Blah's word 1234 00:21:29,372 --> 00:21:32,083 for it at this time ♪ 1235 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:36,087 ♪ I said just havin' a friend 1236 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:36,087 couldn't be no crime ♪ 1237 00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,338 ♪ 'Cause I have friends 1238 00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,338 and that's a fact ♪ 1239 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:40,341 ♪ Like Agnes, Agatha, 1240 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:40,341 Germaine, and Jack ♪ 1241 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:44,095 ♪ Forget about that, 1242 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:44,095 let's go into the story ♪ 1243 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:47,098 ♪ About a girl named Blah 1244 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:47,098 Blah Blah that adored me... ♪ 1245 00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:53,146 (trumpet playing off-key) 71617