All language subtitles for Bronco.Billy.1980.BRRipeng

♪ ♪ Ladies take to cowboys ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Like kids
take to clowns ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ They both love 'em
without askin' why ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ There's those come-on
looks and laughter ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ But when it's time
for leavln' town ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Seems nobody
cares enough to cry ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Everybody loves ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Cowboys and clowns ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ You're everybody's hero ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ For just a little while ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ But when
the goodbyes are said ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And the spotlight
goes dead ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ There's no one left ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Who cares
to hang around ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ To love the cowboys ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And clowns ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Cowboys
love candlelight ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And Lacy things
on ladies ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ While kids
love carousels ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And funny
painted faces ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ But there's no balloons ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ No sweet perfume ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ When midnight
brings you down ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ No one
to hold you close ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ When the mornin'
comes around ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Everybody loves ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Cowboys and clowns ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ You're everybody's hero ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ For just a little while ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ But when
the goodbyes are said ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And the spotlight
goes dead ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ There's no one left ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Who cares
to hang around ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ To love the cowboys ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And clowns ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Cowboys and clowns ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Cowboys and clowns ♪ ♪

Ladies and gentlemen!

Boys and girls!

We welcome you
this evening

to the greatest,

the most authentic...

Wild west show
in America!

So hang on to
your hats and boots...

Or your
loved one's hand.

[Whispering]
I understand.

Let us take you
back to a time

when the cowboys and Indians
roamed our great land.

And now for our first act
this evening,

Chief Big Eagle...
the great-great-grandson

of the great
Apache Indian Chief Geronimo,

will perform his legendary
rattlesnake dance

that no white man
has ever seen before.

And that's for sure.

Chief Big Eagle!

[Applause]

Tchi-tchi-wah!

[Chanting]

[Rattling]

- [Snake bites]
- Eeyeow-aiee!

I'm awful scared,
Bronco Billy.

Well, everybody's
a little nervous

their first night
in show business.

You just do
what we rehearsed,

and everything
will be fine.

Yeah, but I'm awful
scared, Bronco Billy.

Take a swig of this.

It'll make you
feel great.

The chief got bit again
by the rattlesnake.

Damn.

Running water took him
back to their truck

and gave him a shot
of doc's snakebite.

I don't know why
he can't just do

the great Apache
flaming arrow act.

I thought you told him
to use a gopher snake.

I did, but he's
a proud Indian.

The only good Indian's
a dead Indian.

Let's go, girl.

[Applause]

[Applause]

How about a big hand
for lasso Leonard James,

the greatest rope artist
in the west?

Yeah.

And now, ladies
and gentlemen,

it is my privilege
and honor

to present
to you this evening

the greatest
trick shooter...

[Music plays]

The fastest draw...

The toughest hombre...

The one and only
Bronco Billy McCoy!

Hey! Hey, hey,
how about it?

How about it?
Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah, Bronco,
climb a board!

[Applause]

Terrific!

Thank you, folks.

Thank you, my little
partners out there.

It's always great to be
back in Montana

and see all of our friends.

Now I'd like
to introduce you

to my new assistant.

It's her first night
in the big tent,

so how about
a big Montana welcome

for Miss Mitzi Fritz?

Throw up
the plates.

Throw up
another plate.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Bronco Billy!

Yeah!

And now, I want all
of you settlers

and all of those little partners
to sit tight.

Beca use Bronco Billy
is getting ready

to do his death-defying
wheel of fortune shootout.

Bronco Billy!

Are those
real bullets?

It's a special
buckshot.

It doesn't go
too far.

But don't worry.
I never miss.

Miss Mitzi...

Would you like
a blindfold?

No, Bronco Billy.

You're the best shot
in the old west.

Very well,

but I will wear one.

Are you ready,
Miss Mitzi?

Yes, Bronco Billy.

All right.

Spin the wheel.

[Applause]

Aah!

Aah!

[Audience gasps]

How much money we got
in the kitty, Billy?

$19 and some change.

Ain't nobody can ever
say we're getting rich.

I'll just be glad when
we get to the next town.

Yeah, that's good,
too, but, uh, I...

If something's sticking
in your craw,

why don't you just
spit it on out?

You know, me and
the boys been with you

down the road, through
hell and high water.

If there's a fight,
we stick together, right?

We know you've done
the same for us.

Look, doc, if it's about
that little gal,

you know how hard it is

to find a good assistant
nowadays.

You just tell the boys

that I'm going
to find us an angel

that will make us all proud
to have her in the show.

They understand about
all that, Billy, but, uh...

What the hell
are you talking about?

You know the boys
love you, and so do I,

but, Billy,
unless we get paid,

we're going
to have to quit

because it's been
6 months.

[Curses and hits horn]

[Honking]

What's going on?

Get out of my truck,
you yellow-bellied sidewinder.

It's raining.

Get out!

What in tarnation is he
all heated up about?

I just told him
we all going to quit

unless we got paid.

Why'd you have to tell him
while it was raining?

Get out of my truck,
you ingrates.

Don't you swear
at my wife.

Get out
of my truck!

We never should've
elected you

to tell him
in the first damn place.

What you
talking about, man?

We drew straws,
and I lost, remember?

Yeah.

So, it's money
you want, huh?

Well, I'm not going
to have a pack of wolves

snapping at my heels
for money.

You think when I
look at the faces

of those little partners

out there smiling
in the audience,

I'm thinking
about money?

All the good times
we've been through...

and there have been
a lot of them...

and all the bad times,

it breaks my heart
to think

the only reason you all
came down the trail with me

was for money.

I thought I had
the best bunch,

but I guess I've been
dealt a crooked hand.

Look, boss, it ain't
what you're thinking.

Nobody wants to quit
the outfit.

It's just... Well,
I haven't had enough money

to go into a bar

and buy a pretty girl
a drink in over a month.

You think I have?

You promised me
I'd have enough money

to buy a wooden hand
this year.

You should've never
blown that hand off

in the first place.

I told you that shotgun
act wouldn't work.

Running water and I
want to buy a new bed.

We're sick and tired
of sleeping on straw.

You two would still be
out on the reservation

drinking bad whiskey
if it wasn't for me.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm sick
of being on the wagon,

and I'm sick of
drinking plain water.

We all know what you
used to do for a drink,

and we forgive you
for it,

but if you want to go
back to wool blankets

and dirty sheets,
it's all right with me.

I need new ropes.

You young
cowpunchers today

don't take care
of your gear.

I have told you
a hundred times...

wrap your ropes
after every show.

I know my job.

Then know it better,
you hear?

Why don't we all
get back in the truck

and get on down
the trail?

We're getting hungry.

I say we get it over
right now.

Nobody wants it over.

How about
the rest of you?

You're right, boss.

Running water and I
owe you our lives.

Where would I go?

As soon as we get
some money,

then I'll get some ropes.

You're all going
to get what you want,

I promise you.

I save every dime,
every nickel

goes into
that little tin box,

and one of these days,
we'll get that ranch we want,

so city kids
can come out

and see what cowboys
and Indians are really like.

Then we can all
settle down.

You're the best bunch
of wranglers in America

and don't you ever
forget it.

And you're riding
with Bronco Billy,

the fastest draw
in the west.

Now let's hit the trail.

- Yay!
- All right!

I'll go get the permit.

You all go get
something to eat.

All right,
Mr. Arlington,

if you will both sign
right there and pay me $10.

Then you can go upstairs
to judge carbon's office

and... be married.

Darling.

Thank you.

Darling!

Don't walk so fast.

I shall walk
as fast as I please.

Light me.

Antoinette,
darling...

You know how much
I love you.

Please,
let's not be maudlin.

But I do love you,
my pet.

We need each other.

I need to marry someone,
anyone, before Saturday,

when I reach
the disgusting age of 30,

or I shall lose many, many
wonderful millions of dollars

my darling daddy left me.

And you need my money.

I know you're as broke
as these vulgar Idaho farmers,

so, uh... Let's not
talk about love, shall we?

Let's get this thing
over with

as painlessly
as possible, hmm?

[Bell rings]

[Hissing]

Might there be an auto
mechanic on duty?

What's the problem?

I believe my engine's
burning up.

Pop the hood.

Just exactly how long
is this going to take?

There's a hole
in your radiator

the size of a potato.

Well, then,
repair it.

It won't be ready
till tomorrow.

What?

Tomorrow?

Yep. Got to make
a trip into town

to pick up
a new radiator.

I'll pay you double
what you normally get

if you'll just have this
thing repaired by tonight.

I could sure use
the extra money,

but your car won't be ready
till tomorrow.

Oh, marvelous. You and
your rented limousines.

Why in hell did we
get married in Idaho?

I thought sun valley

would be a good place
for a honeymoon.

I just want to get back
to New York.

You want her fixed?

Sometimes she
makes me so mad,

I could kill her!

Stick 'em up,
or I'll plug you.

I ought to have
the whole bunch of you

strung up
for cattle-rustling.

We just wanted to talk
to Bronco Billy.

All right. Turn around
nice and easy.

You mean
you little pards

played hooky from school
just to come see me?

Wow! Look at
his guns!

He really is
Bronco Billy!

Put your hands down.

Are you really
the fastest gun in the west?

- Wow!
- Wow! - Wow!

Ain't nobody faster
than Bronco Billy.

Now, look,
I don't take kindly

to kids playing hooky
from school.

I think every kid in America
ought to go to school,

at least up through
the eighth grade.

We don't go to school
today, Bronco Billy.

It's Saturday.

Well, I been riding
late last night.

A man's brain
gets kind of fuzzy

when he's
been on the range.

Well, I'll
tell you what...

because you're all
such goodhearted

little cowboys
and cowgirls,

and you say your
prayers each night,

I'm going to give you
one free ticket each

to the greatest
wild west show on earth.

And, uh...

I want you to bring
your folks... Tonight.

- Thanks!
- Thanks!

You're welcome.

Don't come late.

You might
not get a seat.

Billy, where are
you heading?

I'm going into town.

I got to find me a woman

who can shoot
like Annie Oakley,

ride like Belle Starr,

and who ain't
afraid of nothing.

I hope you find one.
Be careful.

Are you Bronco Billy?

I sure am, ma'am.

You sure got
a neat car.

Woman,
what's your name?

Delores,
Delores Duke.

Well, it's a pleasure
meeting you, Miss Delores.

Tell me,
would you, uh...

Like to go
for a little ride

when you
get off work?

[Music playing]

Jesus.

Oh.

I'm certainly glad someone
is enjoying our honeymoon.

You... you really
should have come

to the wild west show,
darling.

It was...

Wonderfully corny.

You would have gotten
a big laugh out of it.

Turn out your light.
I want to go to bed.

Yes, dear.

Aren't you...

Going to wash that
stuff off your face?

I shall wash my face

when I want
to wash my face.

Will you take your
wet tongue out of my ear?

But I'm
your husband.

That doesn't give you
license to maul me.

You frigid spinster!

If you had any blood
in your veins at all,

you'd know what to do.

No wonder you've...
Never gotten married.

Are you finished
with your little speech?

Darling, I just want
to make you happy,

but you...
Frustrate me no end.

Finished?

Yes.

If you ever lay
a hand on me again

without first
asking my permission,

I shall cut you
out of my universe,

starting at the bank.

Yes, dear.

Darling?

May I put my hand
on your breast?

No.

Wait here. I'm going
to cash a $3.00 check.

All right.

Watch yourself.

Be back in a minute.

Thank you, sir.

Cash a check here?

OK.

$3.00?

Yeah. I'd like it in
2 singles and 4 quarters.

No, wait a second. Make that
2 quarters and 5 dimes.

What's it going
to be, fella?

It's a stickup!

All right, everybody
up against the wall.

You, too, Tex.

Come on, move!

John... do hurry.

I want to take my bath.

I hope your rented
limousine's been repaired.

John?

Oh, my god.

Hello! I've been robbed!

Newsbeat 7,
Mr. Bronco.

Bronco Billy's the name.

Me and my wild west show
are camped off of I-80.

Sure, uh, Bronco Billy,

when did you feel it was
time to take action?

It's always time to take
action when there's danger.

I want to invite all you
little partners out there

to come out and see
the Bronco Billy wild west show,

right off of I-80.

Here's the manager
of the bank.

I want to shake
your hand, Bronco Billy,

and I want
to thank you...

the first show
is at 7:30,

and I want you to come out
and see Bronco Billy...

the quickest draw,
fastest shot,

quickest hombre
this side of the Pecos.

Right off I-80.

Oh!

Hello!

Hello?

Hello.

Oh!

Oh, charming.

Attendant!

Attendant!

You there!

Heard you
the first time.

Did my husband,
the man in the limousine...

Did he say
when he'd be back?

No.

Could I use
your telephone?

It's right outside
there.

It works on dimes.

Well, you see,
my husband seems to be

playing
a little joke on me.

He's taken my purse.

Run off, has he?

Could you lend me a dime?

I just want to dial
the operator.

No.

Well, why not?

Because I ain't
got a dime.

But you have
a telephone.

It works on dimes.

Well, then why don't you
take a dime

out of your stupid little
cash register

and let me use it
to call the operator?

I'll give it
right back to you.

Ain't mine to give.

Nice looking,
ain't she?

At my age, that's about
all I can do is look.

She live
around here?

Her husband ran off
and left her this morning.

The man's
got to be a fool

to run off and leave
something like that.

Maybe... maybe not.

Sir, you have
a good day.

Same to you,
young feller.

Good morning,
ma'am.

Can I be
of service to you?

Yes.

Would you be kind enough
to lend me a dime?

Why, sure. Come on
across the street.

That's where I keep
my money... in my truck.

Coming?

My name's
Bronco Billy McCoy,

and yours?

Bronco. What
an amusing name.

My friends
call me Billy.

Come and get it.

Oh!

Where's that dime
you promised me?

Shoot.
I wanted an orange soda.

I wanted a
strawberry.

Boys, this is, um...

Antoinette Lily.

Miss Antoinette Lily.

You're the prettiest
assistant

the boss ever hired.

I sure hope you can ride
better than that last gal.

Wait. Wait.

Chief Big Eagle and his wife
Lorraine Running Water...

Miss Antoinette Lily.

Miss Lily.

All right, boys,
we got to get moving.

Let's get to work.

What an honor.

The dime!

I wanted a
Dr. Pepper.

Doc Lynch, this is
Miss Antoinette Lily.

Ma'am, welcome
to Bronco Billy's

wild west show.

I hope you'll be
very happy with us here.

All right, let's quit
chewing the fat.

We got work to do.

We'll talk
later, my dear.

Yeah.

You'll be paid
a good wage

for an honest day's work.

Room and board are free.

Look, you
promised me a dime.

Do you ride?

Ride? You mean
a horse?

This dime will be deducted

from your
first week's salary.

Now, go ahead
and make your call.

We got to hit
the trail.

You sure are pretty.

Operator.

Oh, thank god
you're there.

I'd like to place
a collect call please

to New York,

area code
212-966-7058,

to Mrs. Irene Lily.

Your name, please?

This is
Antoinette Lily.

[Busy signal]

I'm sorry, ma'am,
that line's busy.

Would you like
to try later?

Yes!

Give me back
my dime!

[Horn honking]

This isn't happening.

Would you drive me
to the next town?

Why, certainly, ma'am.

I tell you that
John Arlington

has murdered my helpless
little stepdaughter.

I never should have
let them marry.

What could you
have done?

Well, I am
the family attorney.

All of his wives

seem to disappear
so mysteriously.

Now, don't go getting
yourself upset.

What'll become of me
if she has met her end?

If that is the case,

you are next in line

for her departed
father's fortune.

I just want her back,

safe in my arms.

But we both know
Antoinette would want me

to carry on.

Chin up?

I'll call the police
immediately.

Oh, Edgar...

You're such
a comfort.

[Car radio plays]

♪ ♪ We're barroom buddies ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And that's
the best kind ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Nobody fools
with a buddy of mine ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ I laugh
when you're happy ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And I cry
when you're blue ♪ ♪

Must you sing
that disgusting music?

Do you want to sing

a duet of
barroom buddies?

No, I don't want to sing
a duet of barroom buddies,

and if I'd only known you
were going to the next town

instead of the one
nearest the motel,

I would never have
got into this vehicle.

I know it must be tough

having the man you love run
off with another woman,

but things
will be better

now that you're
with the show.

My husband did not run off
with another woman,

and I have no intention
of working in your show.

Were you messing
with another man?

No, I wasn't messing
with another man,

and furthermore, my life
is not your concern!

Shh! You're gonna
wake up doc.

Don't tell me what to do.

Look, I'm your boss,
and don't you forget it.

You are nothing but
an illiterate cowboy.

[Horn honking]

Nobody talks that way
to Bronco Billy.

Take your
hands off me!

You better get in,
Miss Lily.

It's a long ways
to the next town.

What happened
to Miss Lily?

I threw her out
on the road.

Oh.

I'll have him thrown in jail
for the rest of his life

for kidnapping.

Who does he think he is,
treating me this way?

Why, he's Bronco Billy,

the best friend a man
ever had besides his wife.

Best friend.

He hasn't understood a word
I've said to him all day.

The boss has a lot
of responsibilities

running the show.

Ohh. When do we get
to the next village?

Just try to get some
shuteye, Miss Lily.

[Sighs]

We'll see.

How dare he put
his hands on me.

Nobody says that
about a cowboy.

Miss Lily! I thought
you left us last night.

That lunatic
tried to kill me.

He's a very good man
once you know him.

Where are we?

You see, we put on
a lot of shows

for orphanages and hospitals
throughout the country.

Children, children.

Let us all have our lunch,

then we can
thank Bronco Billy

for his
wild west show.

Billy, I hope you and
your friends will join us

for lunch and prayer.

If you don't mind a few
sinners at the table,

we'd love to,
thank you.

All right, boys,
let's take a break

and have some chow.

I realize you ain't
with the show,

but... you're welcome
to have lunch with us.

Would Bronco Billy
give the prayer?

Sure.

Lord, we, uh, ask you

to forgive us
for our sins,

and we want to
thank you, lord,

for the great chow...

food that we're
having here today.

And we ask you, lord,

to look after these little
cowboys and cowgirls

and show them the way
to a good life

so they don't
get tangled up

with hard liquor
and cigarettes.

Amen.

Sister, may I use
your telephone?

Oh, I'm sorry. We don't
have a telephone.

We can't afford one.

Just exactly how much
do you pay Mr. Bronco

for this performance?

Pay?

Why, Billy and his friends
come here every year.

They make
the children happy,

but they don't get paid.

Billy: So I said to one-eyed Charlie, the
famous desperado, "if you mess with me,

"you better make
your peace with the lord

"'cause I'm faster
and tougher

than you are,
you dirty varmint."

What did he do to make you
so mad, Bronco Billy?

He talked dirty
about my mother.

So you killed
one-eyed Charlie?

Well, I didn't kill him,

but I shot his holsters
right off his hips.

You see, you should
never kill a man

unless it's absolutely
necessary.

May I speak with you
for a moment?

Sure. See you
in a little bit.

Thanks for the show,
Bronco Billy.

You're welcome.

You promised to take me
to the next town.

Yeah... tell you
what I'll do.

I'll take you
to the next town,

and you work
the first show for me

till I can get
a replacement.

Then you're
on your own. Deal?

Deal.

Buster and I
come riding in

after doc announces me.

Then I ride around the arena
here, doing my tricks.

When I announce you,
you'll come out over here,

and you'll walk up
to this table.

Then I'll nod my head,
and you pick up 2 plates.

When I ride by, you throw up
the first plate...

Count to 3, then throw up
the second plate.

Got that?

I'll show you
what it looks like

when the plates go off.

No problem.

It takes hours of practice
to learn to do that.

Mighty fine shootin',
Miss Lily.

Beginner's luck.

Where on earth did you
learn how to shoot like that?

I was the...

haven't you got something
better to do

than hang around here
like a prairie dog in heat?

As a matter of fact,
I do. Excellent.

You don't do the shooting
around here. I do that.

All right.

Now pretend I've done
all my tricks.

I'll come back.

I get on buster...

And we ride
around the arena.

I'll come ridin'
around here,

then I'll swing down
and pick you up.

You can slide right on
back of me.

You what?

You reach your arm out,

and I lift you right up
in back of me.

And that's all
I have to do?

That's all
you have to do.

What happens
if I fall?

Trust me.

Trust?

Look, if you can't
get it right,

we'll just go
over and over it again

until you do
get it right.

No problem.

All right.
Here I come.

Aahh! Oh!

No problem?

Mr. Lipton.

Hello, Eloise.
Mrs. Lily in?

I'll tell her
you're here.

Mr. Lipton is here
to see you, ma'am.

Uh, thank you, dear.
Edgar, darling.

The f.B.I.
Has just arrested

John Arlington
in Arizona.

What on earth was he
doing in Arizona?

I have a strong
suspicion

he was getting
ready to flee

across
the Mexican border.

He was wearing

several of Antoinette's
diamond bracelets.

They are formally
charging him

with the murder
of your stepdaughter.

I'm going out there
to see him.

Has he...
has he confessed?

Well, at the time
of his arrest,

he was suffering
from amoebic dysentery

and... wasn't
able to talk.

As soon as
he confesses,

I want you
to file a petition

requesting me
to be named

benefactor
of the estate.

Of course.

Eloise.

Irene...

I want to extend to you
my deepest sympathy

in this hour
of tragedy.

Oh! Oh, that is
sweet of you, Edgar.

Just do what
I told you.

Simple.

Miss Lily...

Would you like
a blindfold?

Oh, no, Bronco Billy,

for you most certainly

are the finest marksman
in all the west.

Very well...

But I will
wear one.

Must you,
Bronco Billy?

Are you ready,
Miss Lily?

Yes, Bronco Billy.

All right,
spin the wheel.

Aaahh!

Aaahh!

Aaahh!

[Cheering and applause]

Next time
you change the dialog

on that piece of paper
I gave you, you're fired!

How dare you
come in here!

Where's that
piece of paper?

I'm not accustomed
to being yelled at.

Where is that
piece of paper?

There! Ooh!

I say, "would you like
a blindfold, Miss Lily?"

And you say,
"no, Bronco Billy,

because you're
the best shot."

Not the best marksman!

And when I say,
"I'll use one,"

where does it say,
"must you, Bronco Billy"?

It doesn't say that
here, does it?

No.

Every assistant I've had
for the last 10 years

has said exactly
what's on this paper,

and that's the way
I want it continued!

Do you understand?

And another thing...
I own this tent.

Are you finished
with your little speech?

Yeah, I'm finished!

I do not work for you,

and if you ever raise
your voice to me again,

I will scratch
out your eyes!

Billy?

Are we camping here
tonight or moving on?

We're hittin'
the trail...

Now!

Oh, he is
a madman!

Is he?

Oh!

John Arlington,
I am going to murder you

for doing this to me.

Oh!

How's buster feeling?

Oh, kind of
poorly, doc.

Oh, it's just his arthritis
acting up again.

I'll give him
a couple swigs

of my snake bite remedy

to fix the old boy up
just like new.

One of these days,
we'll get that ranch.

Old buster can go
out to pasture.

Running water
was telling me

about the run-in you had
with Miss Lily.

I say good riddance
to that woman.

She just couldn't
cut the bacon.

I'm glad she got out
of the frying pan

before I wasted
that much time on her.

That's kind of a shame,
because...

I thought she did pretty good
for her first show.

She couldn't
take orders, doc.

I gave her
the piece of paper,

and she couldn't
memorize her words.

But she was
a damned good shot.

I don't want to talk
about her ever again.

OK. You're the boss.

She got her ride
to the next town

and her breakfast
on the house.

Mighty kind of you.

Her kind don't
want to work.

No wonder her husband
ran off and left her.

Excuse me, miss.

"Heiress murdered."

Can I see
the sports section?

You may.

Thank you.

Bye, ma'am.

Goodbye, Miss Lily.

It's too bad you can't
come along with us.

So long.
Happy trails.

You have a visitor
from New York.

My wife?

Hello, Edgar.

You have 5 minutes.

You're looking well.

That's easy
for you to say.

You don't have
amoebic dysentery.

John...
I've known Antoinette...

Since she was
just a little girl,

and believe me,

I don't blame you
for murdering her.

But I didn't murder
that cold-blooded viper.

The sooner you confess,

the sooner
we can all benefit.

Benefit?

John, I know how much

you must have loved her
to have done such a thing,

but the living
must go on living.

What has happened,
has happened.

Edgar, I'm facing
the electric chair

or something,

and you're standing
here talking about,

"the living must
go on living."

I guarantee... That if you
plead temporary insanity,

you won't spend
more than 3 years

in a mental
institution.

What are you
getting at?

If you confess to
Antoinette's murder,

the day you're released
from the institution,

you will receive
half a million dollars.

But it's...

What if they
don't buy that,

and I go to the electric
chair anyway...

Or something?

They'll buy it.

I can arrange anything.
You know that.

But those mental
institutions,

they're supposed
to be maddening.

I know of some
out here

that have tennis courts
and swimming pools,

your own
private room,

color TV,
maid service.

$500,000?

Mm-hmm.

How much is that
after taxes?

Well, if you
invest wisely,

you won't have
to pay a dime.

Ohh.

I didn't mean
to kill her,

but she was
driving me crazy.

What are you
doing here?

Well, you still need
an assistant, don't you?

I'm the head ramrod.
I give the orders.

Yes, Bronco Billy.

All right,
get out of this truck.

Why? Aren't we headin'
down the old trail?

First, you got to prove
that you can work hard

before you ride
with the head ramrod.

Oh, I do, do I?

Do you want the job,
or don't you?

Lefty... is that
your real name, Lefty?

What's it to you?

Well, I was just trying to
make time pass more quickly.

Why do you want to make
time pass quickly for?

Because I find life
rather boring.

Don't you?

Nope.

Well, I can see we have
very little to talk about.

I reckon not.

Light me.

Leonard,

how long have you been
with Bronco Billy?

It must be
going on 9 years.

Oh, please.

Did your father teach you
your little lasso tricks?

My father
taught me nothing.

My father gave me
nothing but whippings.

Billy taught me
everything I know.

He give me a home.

That's very touching.

I don't know where
you come from, Miss Lily,

but I think they must not
have given you much love

when you was
a little girl.

[Horn honking]

Well, it's good
to be back.

I'm hungry.

You're always hungry.

Let's get
the big tent set up

before we put on
the feedbag.

Well, what would you
like for me to do?

You go help the boys.

And what are
you going to do?

I do the thinking
around here.

Oh, I hadn't noticed.

Hey, chief, uh...

Oh, excuse me.

Is everything
all fixed up?

We still have some
patchwork to do on the tent.

All right. Good.

Um... look, I... I don't
want you to get bit

by those rattlesnakes
anymore.

Why don't you use
those gopher snakes?

That's what I bought
the damn things for.

OK, Billy.

Tell him.
He'll understand.

I hope so.

Tell me what?

Well...

Uh...

Come on,
spit it out.

I mean, that's what I'm
here for, is to help.

Running water's
going to have a baby.

You mean I'm going
to be an uncle?

You ain't mad?

Mad? That's the best
news I've ever heard.

I know money's tight.

We got to get
ourselves a trailer.

And we got to get
some clothes

for the little pard.

What's all
the shooting about?

Big Eagle and Running Water
are going to have a baby.

Congratulations!

Why don't we
get into our duds,

go into town,
and raise some hell?

Yahoo!

- Yahoo!
- Yahoo!

Come on, lasso.

♪ ♪ Lookin' at the world
from the bottom of a glass ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ All I see
is a man's pain ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Tonight I need
that woman again ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ What I'd give
for my baby ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ To just walk in ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Sit down beside me ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Say it's all right ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Take me home ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And make sweet love
to me tonight ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ But here I am again ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Mixin' misery and gin ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Sittin' with
all my friends ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And talkin' to myself ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ I look like
I'm havin' a good time ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ But any fool... ♪ ♪

We're plannin' to name
the little critter Billy.

Billy? Well,
I am really honored.

In fact, we'll have
to give you a raise

when the critter's
born.

Thanks, boss.

Here's a toast

to the fastest gun
in the west, Bronco Billy.

Bottoms up.

Why don't you put some
fire between your legs

and join in, huh?

I've matched you
beer for beer all night.

You're the coldest
fish I have ever met.

How dare you
call me a fish!

"How dare you..."
Well, you are, you know.

You don't know
how to have fun.

Ha! You call
your life fun?

Dance.

Your daddy
should have probably

taken a belt
to your backside

so you'd have
some respect.

My father
was a great man.

He went to heaven
when I was 9 years old.

I'm sorry.
I didn't know that.

There's a whole wide world
you don't know about,

Mr. Bronco Billy.

Mr. Bronco Billy, I'm going
to introduce myself

to some fine lady
at the bar.

People are such idiots.

Go ahead. Let the tears
fall in that beer.

I'm not crying.

Nothing wrong
with crying.

The smoke in here
is hurting my eyes.

Did you ever think
what it would be like

to be nice to folks?

Folks just
want to take.

Girl, you sure
are mixed up.

No, I'm not.

Miss Lily, get up.

Why?

Because I want to dance
with you, that's why.

Dance?

Come on.

Once you take
the first step or two,

it's easy.

♪ ♪ That this
honky-tonk heaven ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Really makes you feel ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Like hell ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ I light a lonely
woman's cigarette ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ We start talking
about what ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ We want to forget... ♪ ♪

Boy, if you could
only shoot straight.

Ha!

I can outshoot you
any day of the week.

You sure are pretty.

I'll bet you say that to
all the girls, Bronco Billy.

How dare you!

Jeez, I only
kissed you.

Watch it, lady.

Hey, don't shove...

come back here.

That's it.

You stay out of this.

We're family.

We fight together,
we stick together.

Oww!

On second thought, I think
I'll stick with you.

Good idea.

We're going to take
a 5-minute break.

Don't go away.

Hey, pretty thing.

How about
a little old drink?

Get lost.

My friend back there...

He asked if you
wanted a drink.

Hey! No, no, no, no.

How about that little
old drink, honey, huh?

Now, come on.

We just want to...

We got us
a wildcat!

Oh, have we ever.

No!

No!

Wait a minute, cowboy,
I've had enough.

Like hell you have.

Don't kill me!

Killing's
too good for you.

You all right, Miss Lily?

Course she ain't.

I'll take her back
in the truck.

The night is young,
and I'm young...

full of more fight than any
hombre west of the Pecos.

Come on, let's go back,
have some more fun.

She'll be all right.

Running water
and I are going back.

Lefty?

Kid, go kick up
a storm.

I ain't going
back in there.

Here.

Sorry. Is it too hot?

Are you OK?

I'm still shaking.

Everybody gets scared
once in a while.

Have you ever
been married?

Sure.

A long time ago.

Did you love her?

With all my heart.

Sometimes that
just isn't enough.

What happened?

I caught her in bed
with my best friend.

What did you
do to him?

I shot her.

What?

What about him?

He was my best friend.

My god!

Don't worry.
I didn't kill her.

She was all right,

but I spent 7 years in Folsom
for attempted murder.

But I ain't
complaining.

I met a lot of
nice people there

like Doc Lynch
and Lefty LeBow...

Big Eagle, who was doing
5 to 10 for armed robbery.

Oh, my god.
Convicts.

What did doc
and Lefty do?

Well, doc was in

for practicing medicine
without a license.

Lefty was
a former bank teller

whose wife had
expensive habits.

Said he was going to
give the money back.

I believe him.

None of you look
like convicts.

We did our time.

Are you for real?

I'm who I want to be.

I've never been this close
to a convict before.

Sorry. Didn't
mean to say that.

I paid my price.

Don't.

That's all right.

You'll know
when the time comes.

[Knock on door]

[Knocking]

Morning, doc.

The sheriff called
the front gate and told me

he's got Leonard
locked up in his jail!

Sheriff, you got
one of my wranglers

a-housed up
in your calaboose here.

Uh, what was his name?

Leonard James.

You two waiting
to see me?

They're with me, sheriff.

I run the Bronco Billy
wild west show.

In fact, we're playing over at
the fairgrounds tonight.

Yeah...
Well, let's see.

James, Leonard,
age 28.

Drunk and disorderly
in a public place,

resisting arrest...

We kicked up
our heels last night.

Maybe Leonard kicked
his up too high.

We run a routine check
on your boy.

Found that he's wanted
for desertion

from the United States
army.

Hmm...

You must have
the wrong man, sheriff.

Prints don't lie.

Your boy's a coward.

He didn't want
to fight in Vietnam.

Can we see him?

Yeah.

Uh...

Just you.

You two can
wait outside.

Hi, boss.

What in the hell did you
become a deserter for?

I got a show to run.

Where am I going
to find a wrangler

who can rope like you can
by showtime?

Sorry, boss.

I was just
a little kid then.

You're really in trouble
this time, Leonard.

Billy, do they still
shoot deserters?

It would teach
you a lesson if they did.

Imagine a deserter
with my show.

What about
those little partners

that look up to you?

What are they going to think
when they find out?

Couldn't you just
tell them

I died with my boots on?

What happened
to your eye?

Couple of deputies.

When they found out
I was a deserter,

they took me
in the back room.

Why didn't you
tell me about it?

I was on the run
9 years ago.

You took me in.
You gave me a home.

I couldn't just let you
stand out in the rain.

I didn't want you to get
involved with it.

Looks like it's the end
of the trail now.

You take care.

You just can't
leave him here.

If he's a deserter,
he deserves what he gets.

I don't believe

Billy's just going
to let him rot in jail.

What can he do?

The army's too powerful,
even for Bronco Billy.

It's not like him to leave
a friend in jail like that.

Desertion is
a tough charge to beat.

What if you have an attorney
to defend Leonard?

Attorney? Miss Lily,
attorney costs money,

and that's one luxury
we ain't never had.

Billy,
where you going?

Get ready
for the show.

I appreciate you
coming out here

and meeting me
like this, sheriff.

It was a rather
interesting phone call.

I figure if my man's
sent up for desertion,

there ain't no profit
in that for any of us.

What kind of profit
are we talking about?

$500?

Hey!

Just how fast are you
with that pea-shooter?

Fast enough.

I'm pretty fast myself.

You know, $500
isn't very much money

for me to take
such a big risk.

All right.
This is all I have.

This comes to $1,100.

It's all I've got
in the world.

Is that so?

You think you're
faster than I am?

I wouldn't want to
find that out, sheriff.

Aren't you Bronco Billy,
the fastest in the west?

The roughest, toughest hombre
this side of dodge city?

Look, I'm just making
a living like everyone else.

Shit.

I can outdraw you
any day in the week.

Couldn't I?

I reckon.

Reckon?

Let me hear
you say it.

Or do you want to find out
how fast I really am?

Wanna go at it?

Hmm?

You want
to get with it, boy?

Or are you a coward

like that deserter
friend of yours?

You're faster
than I am.

What'd you say?

I said you're faster
than I am.

[Laughs]

All right.

Just take out that gun
nice and easy

and throw it right there
on the ground.

Yeah.

Bronco Billy...

You're nothing but
a yellow-bellied egg-sucker.

Peanuts!

Coca-Cola!

Here you go.

2? All righty.

Have you seen the boss?

Nope. He hasn't
shown up yet.

10 minutes
till showtime.

It's the first full house
since dodge city.

Step right in, folks.

Someone will take
your ticket inside.

Any sign of Billy?

Oh, he'll show up.

What if he doesn't?

Then you'll do the longest
rattlesnake dance

of your life.

He'll show up.

I've sold everything
except the empty box.

Any sign of Bronco Billy?

Never known Bronco Billy
to miss a show.

He's not
on the midway.

In that case, I suggest
we put on the show.

Ladies and gentlemen!

We welcome you
this evening

to the greatest,
the most authentic

wild west show
in America!

Guess I better
change my costume.

She brought us
bad luck.

Don't talk that way.

It's true.

It ain't.

Will perform his legendary
rattlesnake dance

that no white man
has ever seen!

And that's exactly
what I mean!

Chief Big Eagle!

Eeee-wah!

[Booing]

We want Billy!

We want Billy!

We want Billy!

We want Billy!

We want Billy!

Bronco Billy.

Get inside, woman.
We got a show to do.

Leonard,
you're hurt.

Those yahoos couldn't hurt
lasso Leonard James.

Quit chewin' the cud.
Get goin'.

- Fire!
- Fire!

Please, folks!

Keep your seats!

Bronco Billy
will be here!

He'll be here!
The show's going on!

All right, calm down. Slow
it down. Take it easy, now.

Come on, kid.

Don't worry about it.
It's no bother to you.

Doc:
Don't panic, folks!

The show's going
to go on!

How did he
get you out of jail?

He can do anything.

The tent's on fire!

The tent's
on fire!

The tent's
on fire!

Take it easy,
little buckaroos!

Walk out of here.
Don't run.

You're all right.
Don't worry.

Take it easy.

Walk those little
partners out.

Slow it down.
There's plenty of time.

Chief, give me a hand
with these posters.

Whoa!

- I got it.
- Get the other side.

Thank the lord
nobody got hurt.

Yeah.

It's Miss Lily's
fault.

She brought us
bad luck.

It is.

[Sirens]

Boy, the sooner
the boss gets rid of her,

the sooner our luck
is going to change.

Miss Lily did not
start that fire.

She's bad luck,
I tell you.

Honey, Lefty's right.
She's bad luck.

Hiya, king.
Get you some coffee?

Thank you,
Running Water.

Well, lady luck
sure didn't shine

on you boys this time.

You can say
that again.

Good morning,
king.

Billy... what's your plans?

I don't know.

The sun's always shining
over the next valley.

Maybe that's where
we'll find our pot of gold.

Well, um...

We took up a little
collection along the midway.

It ain't a lot,

but it'll
help you start.

Help you get back
on your feet.

That's nice.

Thanks.

Appreciate it if you'd...

Thank the rest of them
for us, too.

We're pulling out
this morning.

Sure thing.

Let's get out of here.

Howdy.

Damn! It's all my fault
the tent burned down.

If I hadn't got thrown
in the calaboose,

Billy would have
been there and stopped it.

Boy, are you blind?

Since she's been with us,
our luck's gone rotten.

You're mean.

You just a mean old
ornery cuss,

and you don't like nobody.

[Tire popping]

Don't you just love
these wide open spaces

where the deer
and the antelope roam?

Boss, the boys want me
to talk to you.

Doc, tell the boys nobody's
going to get laid off.

We're going
to pull on our belts

and pull up our boots.

We'll see this thing
through together.

We've been through
worse than this.

I'm sure they'll be
glad to hear that.

I know I am.

But, well, uh...

You got a chicken bone
in your throat?

It's the boys.

They want you
to get rid of Miss Lily.

They think
she's bad luck.

Who the hell
do they think they are,

telling me what to do?

It's my show!

I do the hiring
and firing around here.

Anybody don't like it,
they can get out.

Well, things
ain't been so good

since she joined us.

I know, but that poor little
gal's been through hell.

Aw, heck, I didn't like her
myself at the beginning,

but she's coming around
to my way of thinking now.

What we gonna do?

We can't put on no show
without a big tent.

[Train horn honks]

I know that.

What should I
tell the boys?

Tell them we're going
to Rob a train.

OK, Billy.

Rob a train?

[Train whistle blows]

How are we going
to stop a train?

Stopping a train is easy.

Carting off all that money
is the hard part.

No outfit's robbed
a train in 90 years.

They're smart,
that's why.

You people are crazy!

You could all go to jail
for the rest of your lives

for robbing a train.

Appreciate your concern,
Miss Lily,

and you may be right
about us being crazy.

We're at the end
of our rope.

This is not a game.

People could get hurt.

We figure on nobody
getting hurt.

You don't even know
if it's the right train.

You want out?
Just say so.

You're all going
to get caught.

I say
Miss Lily's out.

You're living
in a dream world.

There are no more
cowboys and Indians.

That's in the past.

Miss Lily, I was raised
in a one-room tenement

in New Jersey.

As a kid, I never even
saw a cowboy,

much less
the wide-open spaces,

except when I could scrounge up
a quarter for a picture show.

I was a shoe salesman
until I was 31 years old.

Deep down, I always
wanted to be a cowboy.

One day, I laid
down my shoehorn

and swore I'd never
live in the city again.

You only live once.

You got to give it
your best shot.

Don't do it,
Billy.

I'll give you
the money.

That would be
a neat trick,

considering
I haven't paid you

since you started
working for me.

I have money,
lots of it.

If you say you do,
I believe you.

But I'm head ramrod here,
and I've made my decision.

[Train whistle blows]

All right, you all know what
you have to do. Get ready.

Wait for me!

[Train whistle blows]

[Train whistle blows]

[Train whistle blows]

Cowboys and Indians.

Of course, dear.

Billy, where are we?

I've got an idea to
get us back in business.

What is this place?

A home for
the criminally insane.

They should
love your act.

Bronco Billy.

Dr. Canterbury,
you look spright.

This is Miss Lily.
Remember doc?

My friend
and colleague.

Get back to work,
you nut.

I'm not nuts.

I'd like to see
Dr. Canterbury.

How would you like a trip
to the yellow room?

Can I talk with you
a moment?

I need a favor
badly.

Well, sure.
I'm a good listener.

I'll be
right back.

Billy, my considered
diagnosis is

you have the worst
ailment known to man...

no money.

How can I help?

How can my staff and
my patients best serve you?

Well, doc, I know you have a giant sewing
room and your patients sew American flags

for the military.

If it's a flag you want,
by all means, you've got one.

It's a tent
that I need.

Without it, I'm afraid
it's the end

of the Bronco Billy
wild west show.

Billy, you all
have come here

year in, year out,
always a free show.

I don't know why,
but you do come.

After all
you've done for us,

it would be a pleasure
to do this for you,

but I have a price.

You name it.

I want you to teach me
how to twirl a six-shooter.

You got that, old pard.

All right.

You and your gang can
hole up in the guest wing.

Come in. And you can
take your meals

with the staff
or the patients,

whichever you feel
most comfortable with.

This place gives me
the creepers

every time we come here.

Some of these
people in there

are just as sane
as you or I.

That ain't
saying much.

They just had
tough breaks.

They were born sane
in a crazy world.

Get your gear, buckaroos.
We're back in business.

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Billy, how long
we got to stay here?

As long as it takes
to get the tent made.

How long is that
going to take?

Look, Leonard, if you've got
something better to do, do it.

Just asking, boss.
Just asking.

This is the Rose room...

2 single beds and
a black and white TV.

Lefty, Leonard.

Why is this called
the Rose room?

It's always been
called the Rose room.

At least the rates
are reasonable.

This is
the carnation room.

It has a single bed
and a radio.

I have
returned home.

This is one of
our most requested rooms

by guests who
frequently come here.

By the way, you are
the first 2 Indians

ever to be allowed to
stay in the guest wing.

What's the name
of this room?

It doesn't have one.

We call this our
honeymoon room.

You can't
be serious.

Dr. Canterbury
specifically ordered me

to put you and your wife
in this room.

Wife?

Come, my dear.

I forgot to tell them
about the view.

Aah!

Yahoo...

Everything's
coming up roses.

Come on over here

and give Bronco Billy
a big kiss.

Don't you find anything
about your life bizarre?

The only thing
strange I find

is that you and I
haven't made love yet.

Oh, let go of me!

I'm crazy about you,
Miss Lily. Kiss me.

You're as nutty as
the fruitcakes in this place.

You love me,
don't you?

I find your timing
less than appropriate.

Is it that time
of the month?

No, it is not
that time of the month!

Well, kiss me, then.

Oh!

Leave me alone!

All you
ever think about!

You said I'd know
when the time is right,

and, well,
I don't know it yet.

There must be 13-year-olds
more woman than you are.

At least I'm not
a phony cowboy

from New Jersey.

What's it take to melt
that heart of stone of yours?

[Knock on door]

I'd like to see
the boss.

He's not here.

When you see him, tell him
I want to talk to him.

Yes.

Running water,
do you have a moment?

Sure.

So this is
the honeymoon room.

Not much
of a honeymoon.

Why does that man
make me so angry

every time
we're together?

The boss is a funny guy.

He's like all men...
a big kid in a man's body.

Why do I hate him so?

The Apaches have
a word for that.

It's called love.

That's what the Apaches
call what I have?

When I first
met Big Eagle,

I hated his guts.

He was so dedicated
to preserving

the heritage
of his ancestors.

I felt rejected.

At night when
everyone else is asleep,

he's up working on
his book.

Big Eagle
is a writer?

He hasn't had anything
published yet,

but he's written 3 books.

Oh, my god.

Big Eagle is a writer,

Leonard
a Vietnam war deserter,

Lefty a bank teller,

doc a doc,

and Billy a shoe salesman
from New Jersey.

- He told you that?
- Yes.

You're the first assistant
he's ever told that.

But we're so different.

I hate to tell you
what I come from,

but I sure am not
an Indian by blood.

I am Big Eagle's squaw,

and that makes me
an Indian at heart.

Don't you understand
what Bronco Billy

and the wild west show
are all about?

You can be
anything you want.

All you have to do
is go out and become it.

I didn't mean to bring
bad luck to the show.

You didn't.

What am I going to do?

I can't tell you that,

but I do know you're
running away from yourself,

and until you know
who you want to be,

you're never
going to get very far.

[Door opens]

Bronco Billy, I want you
to take me in your arms

and make love to me.

Well, I would, Miss Lily,

but unless you love me,
it wouldn't be any good.

I love you,
Bronco Billy.

Hey... take it easy.

Take it easy.

We got the rest
of the night...

The rest of our lives
to enjoy each other.

[Whistles]

[Whistling]

[Groaning]

[Breaks wind]

Antoinette?

Antoinette?

[Click]

♪ ♪ We're barroom buddies
and that's the best kind ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Nobody fools
with a buddy of mine ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ laugh when
you're happy ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Cry when you're blue
hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪ ♪

In 2 days, you'll
have your tent.

Could I say a few words
to your patients here?

Certainly.

Uh... uh... folks.

I'd like to thank you
from the bottom of my heart

for the great work
you're doing

for me and my outfit.

3 cheers for
Bronco Billy.

Hip hip hooray!

Hip hip hooray!

Hip hip hooray.

Ah, good morning, Lefty.

What's so good about it?

Mmm, smell that
fresh morning air.

Look at
the blue sky above.

You been drinking
doc's snakebite?

I know you think
I've brought bad luck.

I'll shoot straight,
Miss Lily. You have.

Maybe I have,

and I've been hard
to get along with,

but I'd like
to change.

I want to be part
of the outfit.

Won't you give me
a second chance?

One rotten apple
can spoil the barrel.

I've been like
a scared calf in a herd.

A man's got to prove
himself on the range.

That holds
for a woman.

Could we have a cup
of coffee, Mr. LeBow?

You got
a calling for it.

Practice one hour
in the morning

and one hour in
the evening,

and you'll grow up
to be like Bronco Billy.

I will.

Howdy, old pard.

Please come in,
Mr. Atherton.

Arlington.

Sit down, please.

I like to hold
these informal sessions

with all
the new patients

so I can get to know
their problems.

As you know, I have
been sent here for life

for murdering my wife,

but I was framed.

My wife is the woman

in Bronco Billy's
wild west show.

I know. I've seen her.

You've got
to believe me.

Why don't you start
at the beginning?

Tell me all about it.

Well...

Her stepmother's lawyer

offered me $500,000

if I would confess
to the murder.

How was I last night,
Bronco Billy?

Well,
we weren't performing.

That's not what I meant.

You did just great.

I did?

Yeah.
You know why?

Because
you're a cowboy?

I could've been a sailor
or a lumberjack

or the president.

We felt that good
because we love each other.

The Apaches
have a word for it.

They do?

Yep.

Oh, my god. I'm even
beginning to talk like you.

You're becoming
a cowgirl?

I'm a rootin' tootin' cowgirl
from the Rio Grande.

You know, I've been thinking.

With just a little time, I think
I could teach you to draw

and twirl a gun,
shoot.

Takes hours of practice
to learn that.

No problem.

Whatever you say,
Bronco Billy.

Excuse me, Billy.

Could I have
a moment of your time...

also, the young lady's?

Shoot, doc.

Antoinette!

It's me,
John Arlington!

Tell them
you're alive!

Back off, stranger.

Control yourself,
Mr. Arlington.

Excuse me, ma'am,
but, uh,

Mr. Arlington believes
you to be his wife.

Whenever a patient
hallucinates,

I confront them
with the facts of life.

What on earth
are you doing here?

I was framed!

He really
is your husband?

What'd you run off
and leave her for?

If you knew her,
you'd run off, too.

You really are
Antoinette Lily?

Well, who else
would she be?

Would somebody tell me
what's going on here?

I'm afraid I must call
the authorities.

I'm so glad
you're alive

because I'm
going to sue you

and your stepmother

and your crooked lawyer
for all you've got!

What the hell's
going on here?

She's my wife!

I was just beginning
to like her.

They look like
a buffalo herd.

Are you people
patients here?

How long have
you been here?

Can you say anything
about John Arlington?

Didn't you know
the entire country thought

you had been murdered?

I never read
newspapers.

This man,
your husband,

has been convicted
of murdering you.

Now you
show up alive.

I mean, I just don't know
what to make of it.

I find it a small
misunderstanding.

Maybe you
and I do,

but I doubt
the FBI will.

The FBI?

They'll be
here tonight

to transport you and McCoy
back to New York City

for an inquiry.

What do I have to go
to New York for?

For harboring
a fugitive.

How can I be a fugitive
if I were dead?

I don't know, but
the FBI will know.

I hope they throw
the book at you.

Oh, shut up,
you little termite.

Lieutenant,
newspaper reporters

are crawling
all over the place.

Well, tell them...

An official statement
will be forthcoming.

All right.

I have nothing
more to say.

Get ready
to leave tonight.

Suits me fine.

What did they ask you?

I ain't going back
to New York.

What about
Antoinette?

She's bad luck.

What was I supposed
to think?

You, missing.
He was alive.

I knew he was only
after your money.

Good evening, ladies.

I'm happy to report
everything's been taken care of.

Wonderful! Isn't that
wonderful, darling?

She hasn't spoken a word
since her return.

She's been through
a terrible ordeal.

Yes.
My poor little baby.

John Arlington

has been compensated
for his discomfort,

if Antoinette would like the marriage
annulled, I'd be very happy to arrange it.

What about the
inheritance money?

I'm afraid, my dear,

you're at the mercy
of your loving stepdaughter.

Antoinette,
my poor, poor baby.

What do you want?

Darling,
now that you're home,

I want us so much
to become friends.

We've never
been friends,

and we never
will be.

But don't worry.

I won't throw you
out on the streets

where you belong.

So long, Bronco Billy.

Boss, how soon
do you think

before we can
show our faces?

I would say
that last round

put us very close
to the poorhouse.

We show our faces,

and those feds will be
on us like flies.

Nothing in
the paper about us.

That's an old
FBI trick

to make us think
the coast is clear.

You figuring on us

shooting it out
with the FBI?

Bronco Billy ain't afraid
of no tinhorn sheriff.

Leonard: Hey, boss.

What about hiding out
in the mountains?

Have you ever hidden
out in the mountains?

No.

It snows
in the mountains.

Get the picture?

Yep.

Maybe we could live

happily ever after
in this bar.

That ain't
too funny, doc.

What do you say we show
the folks in this town

a first-class
wild west show?

Bronco Billy ain't
afraid of nothing.

Doc, I ain't never seen
the boss drink so much.

He's never been in love

with a woman
like Miss Lily before.

Keep the change,
buddy.

Hey, you owe me
another buck here.

I'll catch up
to you.

[Telephone rings]

[Telephone rings]

Hello.

Operator: I have a collect call for
Miss Antoinette Lily from Running Water.

Will you accept
the charges?

Yes!

Go ahead.

Antoinette?

Running water,
where are you?

Boise, Idaho.

How's Bronco Billy?

He needs you.
Badly.

We'll cut the show
a little bit tonight.

You can be
my assistant.

It's a shame
Miss Lily's not here.

Miss Lily? I thought you
didn't like her.

I never said
I didn't like her.

I just said she
brought us bad luck.

Well, she did.

No, she didn't.

She was the best assistant
we ever had.

She could throw
a plate...

haven't you got
something better to do

besides hang around
like a coyote in heat?

Yeah.

Sure, boss.

That's how they
built the tent?

That's the best
they know how.

Something must be
bringing us luck.

We're almost
sold out for tonight.

Bronco Billy McCoy

and his horse, buster!

[Cheering]

Thank you, folks.

Thank you, folks,

and especially
my little partners out there.

Now before we start
the show,

I'd like to introduce you

to my assistant
for the evening,

Mr. Two-gun Lefty LeBow.

Uh... Miss Antoinette Lily.

A little late,
ain't you?

I was waiting for you
to come and get me.

I got you, and I'm never
letting you go.

Come on.

She's back!

[Band playing
The Thunderer]

Lasso Leonard James!

Ladies and gentlemen,

lasso Leonard James!

Yeah!

Wonderful!

Yee-haw!

Eeee-wah!

[Cheering and applause]

We come to the end
of our show.

Thank you very much
for being so kind to us.

I've got
a special message

for you little partners
out there.

Finish your oatmeal
at breakfast

and do as
your ma and pa tell you,

Beca use they know best.

Don't ever tell a lie,

and say your prayers
before bed.

As our friends
south of the border say,

adios, amigos.

♪ ♪ So dream on ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Bronco Billy ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ It's one hell of a life
you chose ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Keep those spurs
a jinglin' ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ 'Cause every cowboy
knows ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ When you've saddled
your last pony ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ He'll be callin'
by and by ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And you'll ride
that final roundup ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ For the big boss ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ In the sky ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Now the paint is peeling ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ From the old carousel ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ I'm feeling
kind of faded ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And my sequined shirts
don't fit as well ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ But when I see
those little buckaroos ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Waitin' for me to begin ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ The years roll back ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ And Bronco Billy ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Becomes just a kid again ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ So dream on ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ Bronco Billy ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ It's one hell of a life
you chose ♪ ♪

Captioning performed by the
national captioning institute, inc.