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1
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,728
% Girl, you're just like an angel %
2
00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:13,033
% When l lift you up so high %
3
00:00:13,074 --> 00:00:14,837
% Over my head %
4
00:00:16,477 --> 00:00:20,072
% And when we practice in the water %
5
00:00:20,881 --> 00:00:23,509
% l can't quench my desire %
6
00:00:23,551 --> 00:00:29,012
% No matter how wet
we get %
7
00:00:29,056 --> 00:00:30,523
- My turn.
- Hell, no.
8
00:00:30,558 --> 00:00:33,686
- Man, let me drive that thing. Come on!
- Do not touch the trim!
9
00:00:37,031 --> 00:00:38,089
Do it.
10
00:00:41,002 --> 00:00:42,401
Just go ahead and do it.
11
00:00:44,505 --> 00:00:47,201
Yeah, come on.
Let's do it.
12
00:00:47,241 --> 00:00:49,641
- Do what?
- lt! What you come to do.
13
00:00:49,677 --> 00:00:51,110
l...
14
00:00:51,145 --> 00:00:53,375
Wait a minute.
What's that you sayin'?
15
00:00:53,414 --> 00:00:56,178
- What's what...?
- You calling me a fool now? ls that it?
16
00:00:56,217 --> 00:00:57,184
l didn't say...
17
00:00:57,218 --> 00:01:00,346
We're gonna have to shake the monkey
one time on this son of a bitch. Let's go.
18
00:01:00,388 --> 00:01:03,755
- l don't think l said anything...
- l just did. Down, boy.
19
00:01:03,791 --> 00:01:06,123
You better convince them eyelids
to get them eyes shut...
20
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,491
or they about to get swelled.
21
00:01:09,263 --> 00:01:11,094
Are you trying to cut me now?
22
00:01:11,132 --> 00:01:12,224
l got a witness.
23
00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:15,599
lt is on like Saigon!
24
00:01:15,636 --> 00:01:18,469
- He just killed my daddy.
- Son of a bitch.
25
00:01:18,506 --> 00:01:22,272
Coming up here on my property,
trying to big-boy Early Cuyler.
26
00:01:22,943 --> 00:01:27,141
''Baptist revival tomorrow night.
Free juice.''
27
00:01:27,181 --> 00:01:30,241
Free ju--
Where the hell did you get that?
28
00:01:30,284 --> 00:01:31,774
Howdy, y'all.
29
00:01:31,819 --> 00:01:34,253
Guess who l just apprehended in town.
30
00:01:34,288 --> 00:01:37,155
A dozen of my mama's gingerbread men...
31
00:01:37,191 --> 00:01:39,421
shaped just like yours truly.
32
00:01:40,461 --> 00:01:41,894
They're good!
33
00:01:42,863 --> 00:01:44,330
Whup his ass.
34
00:01:45,966 --> 00:01:47,126
Look at that, boy.
35
00:01:49,870 --> 00:01:50,996
Look at what?
36
00:01:51,038 --> 00:01:52,801
l don't know.
37
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,104
Look at this, right there!
38
00:01:55,142 --> 00:01:58,771
Damn, they would have
to fall frosting down.
39
00:01:58,813 --> 00:02:01,008
Oh, Lord, l'm sorry, Sheriff.
That was an accident.
40
00:02:01,048 --> 00:02:02,037
Accident? Boy!
41
00:02:03,551 --> 00:02:06,418
l mean accident time on you.
42
00:02:06,454 --> 00:02:10,788
You fall on my fist, your face hurt.
Accident to you, boy.
43
00:02:10,825 --> 00:02:11,951
That's what l'm talkin' about.
44
00:02:11,992 --> 00:02:13,482
Hell, yeah!
Come on, now.
45
00:02:13,527 --> 00:02:15,290
Turn it on, son.
Turn it on.
46
00:02:15,329 --> 00:02:17,194
Turn it on, son.
Turn it on.
47
00:02:17,231 --> 00:02:18,664
No, no, it's already on.
48
00:02:18,699 --> 00:02:21,259
OK, you got to tell him it's on.
49
00:02:21,302 --> 00:02:23,497
lt is on, boy.
50
00:02:24,839 --> 00:02:26,670
Follow with a simile.
Come on.
51
00:02:26,707 --> 00:02:27,799
lt's on like...
52
00:02:27,842 --> 00:02:28,968
Like...
53
00:02:29,009 --> 00:02:30,977
What's it on like?
Preferably a rhyme.
54
00:02:31,011 --> 00:02:33,980
lt's on like, like Michelle Kwan.
55
00:02:34,014 --> 00:02:35,003
Oh, son.
56
00:02:35,049 --> 00:02:37,574
l'll do a triple-axle lutz
on your zambonied ice.
57
00:02:37,618 --> 00:02:41,577
Just, just stop, son.
58
00:02:41,622 --> 00:02:46,321
Rusty, it's on like red dawn
or Charles Bronson.
59
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,727
Or hell, l'd even have accepted
the movie Tron.
60
00:02:49,764 --> 00:02:52,164
But Michelle Kwan?
Please!
61
00:02:52,199 --> 00:02:54,224
She made sacrifices to get where she is.
62
00:02:54,268 --> 00:02:58,170
Damn it! How many times have we watched
Road House this weekend?
63
00:02:58,205 --> 00:03:02,198
How many times, Rusty?
How damn many?
64
00:03:02,243 --> 00:03:03,574
Four?
65
00:03:03,611 --> 00:03:05,909
Damn, that's a lot.
66
00:03:05,946 --> 00:03:09,973
We love the hell out of that movie film.
But why, son? Why?
67
00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:12,542
'Cause Patrick Swayze
lives his life like a real man.
68
00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:15,555
Asses is kicked,
names is taken, love is made.
69
00:03:15,589 --> 00:03:17,250
Then commercial.
70
00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:19,657
You all know he's starting a film festival
up here, don't you?
71
00:03:19,693 --> 00:03:22,924
Just like Sundance,
only this is called Dirtydance.
72
00:03:22,963 --> 00:03:25,693
Why wouldn't he just call it Road House?
73
00:03:25,733 --> 00:03:28,395
Well, you can ask him yourself.
He's down at my office.
74
00:03:28,435 --> 00:03:29,663
The Patrick Swayze?
75
00:03:29,703 --> 00:03:32,194
From the moving picture
from the television Road House?
76
00:03:32,239 --> 00:03:35,231
- ln the flesh?
- The one and same.
77
00:03:35,276 --> 00:03:37,437
Yeah, that's right.
78
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:40,311
l'm Patrick Swayze.
79
00:03:45,286 --> 00:03:47,151
Damn, boy.
He's smaller in real life.
80
00:03:47,188 --> 00:03:48,553
Russell Jesse James!
81
00:03:48,589 --> 00:03:49,817
Hey, it's all right.
82
00:03:49,857 --> 00:03:54,294
My legs ran away to Hollywood
to star in Next Of Kin ll.
83
00:03:54,328 --> 00:03:56,353
Go ahead.
Tell them what you're working on.
84
00:03:56,397 --> 00:03:58,797
Yeah, Patrick.
What's your latest project?
85
00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:01,358
You see this soffit over this vent pipe?
86
00:04:01,402 --> 00:04:04,030
l'm changing it into a sunrise.
87
00:04:04,772 --> 00:04:09,709
OK, but we are going to put
the bars back in here, right?
88
00:04:09,743 --> 00:04:12,177
Hey, old man,
l thought l told you...
89
00:04:12,213 --> 00:04:15,444
it's my way or the highway.
90
00:04:15,482 --> 00:04:18,349
Daddy, this old boy
don't seem like Swayze to me.
91
00:04:18,385 --> 00:04:19,374
Oh, yeah?
92
00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:22,514
Hey, you remember in Road House
when l bought that crappy car...
93
00:04:22,556 --> 00:04:25,719
and bought some extra tires,
'cause l knew someone...
94
00:04:25,759 --> 00:04:28,091
was gonna cut my tires outside
the Double Deuce.
95
00:04:28,128 --> 00:04:29,652
Sure enough, that happened.
96
00:04:29,697 --> 00:04:33,258
And l changed the tires, and l drove away.
Remember that?
97
00:04:33,801 --> 00:04:36,964
- Yeah.
- That was me.
98
00:04:37,004 --> 00:04:39,495
Oh, my God Almighty!
lt is him!
99
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:42,065
Patrick Swayze, it is an honor to meet you.
100
00:04:42,109 --> 00:04:44,077
Patrick, l know you must
get this all the time...
101
00:04:44,111 --> 00:04:46,841
but if it wouldn't be
too much trouble to you...
102
00:04:46,881 --> 00:04:49,475
would you please drop a double-deuce
ass whuppin' on my boy?
103
00:04:49,516 --> 00:04:52,007
Well, of course. l'd be delighted.
Hold his arms for me.
104
00:04:52,052 --> 00:04:54,111
- Daddy, this ain't right.
- Take your movie whupping like a man.
105
00:04:55,422 --> 00:05:00,519
% Oh, my dear %
106
00:05:01,262 --> 00:05:03,492
% My lovely %
107
00:05:03,530 --> 00:05:06,522
% l hunger for those... %
108
00:05:07,101 --> 00:05:08,534
% Fries %
109
00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:10,264
% Those crazy Road House... %
110
00:05:10,304 --> 00:05:13,273
l hate to cut you off, and l love your
backdrop, don't get me wrong.
111
00:05:13,307 --> 00:05:14,934
lt's very evocative of the period.
112
00:05:14,975 --> 00:05:17,102
But it does lack a certain...
113
00:05:18,145 --> 00:05:20,943
bricks and mortar quality.
114
00:05:20,981 --> 00:05:23,575
l'm from Texas. l ride horses.
115
00:05:23,617 --> 00:05:25,812
Yeah, l know that, but these guys here...
116
00:05:25,853 --> 00:05:30,119
see, they rape horses... for a living.
117
00:05:30,157 --> 00:05:32,990
So that's kind of the reason
we had to keep a close rein...
118
00:05:33,027 --> 00:05:35,325
l'm the cooler.
You're the bouncer.
119
00:05:35,362 --> 00:05:38,593
And you've mentioned that.
You have, a lot, but...
120
00:05:38,632 --> 00:05:41,499
Hey, old man, it's my highway...
121
00:05:41,535 --> 00:05:43,765
or it's that way.
122
00:05:43,804 --> 00:05:45,965
My way.
123
00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:47,871
Let's take it outside.
124
00:05:47,908 --> 00:05:52,140
% l'm from Texas %
125
00:05:53,013 --> 00:05:54,503
Are you guys are not gonna...?
126
00:05:57,618 --> 00:06:01,213
Life. lt's so absurd.
127
00:06:02,456 --> 00:06:05,755
We got an 875-51-50 in progress.
128
00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:06,953
Request backup. Over.
129
00:06:08,128 --> 00:06:09,288
Over?
130
00:06:10,764 --> 00:06:12,925
Oh, hot damn.
131
00:06:12,967 --> 00:06:14,298
Come in, mama.
132
00:06:14,335 --> 00:06:16,360
Our table at the steakhouse is ready.
133
00:06:16,403 --> 00:06:17,802
Come back.
134
00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:22,241
Patrick's just gonna be
with us a couple of days...
135
00:06:22,276 --> 00:06:24,471
till he gets his bouncer's license back.
136
00:06:24,511 --> 00:06:26,672
What's that?
Patrick Swayze?
137
00:06:26,714 --> 00:06:29,274
Oh, l'm sleeping with him.
Where is he?
138
00:06:29,316 --> 00:06:31,341
That ain't Patrick Swayze.
139
00:06:31,385 --> 00:06:33,410
He is if l have enough cold beers.
140
00:06:33,454 --> 00:06:35,649
Y'all shut your damn tooth hole.
141
00:06:35,689 --> 00:06:39,022
l think he's making
a movie about us right now.
142
00:06:39,059 --> 00:06:40,617
Y'all have a shower?
143
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:43,960
l'm remaking Point Break,
and l gotta practice being wet.
144
00:06:43,998 --> 00:06:46,296
l need to speak with you
for a second, privately.
145
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:48,301
Son, there ain't no privacy
when you're Patrick Swayze.
146
00:06:48,335 --> 00:06:50,269
He's been in Road House
numertous times.
147
00:06:50,304 --> 00:06:53,330
Hell, he was on Road House
in my house for five times...
148
00:06:53,374 --> 00:06:54,898
on the television set today.
149
00:06:54,942 --> 00:06:57,274
Well, this here ain't Patrick Swayze.
150
00:06:57,311 --> 00:06:59,779
Hey, what can be said to me
can be said to Patrick.
151
00:06:59,813 --> 00:07:01,781
l told you, it ain't Patrick Swayze.
152
00:07:05,619 --> 00:07:07,917
l'm confused.
What are you sayin'?
153
00:07:07,955 --> 00:07:11,083
lt ain't Dalton, it ain't the famous Cooler,
it ain't none of 'em.
154
00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:14,424
Daddy, that ain't Patrick Swayze at all.
155
00:07:14,461 --> 00:07:16,053
Hey, let's tell Patrick this.
156
00:07:16,096 --> 00:07:18,496
- He'll get a kick out of it.
- lt ain't Patrick Swayze!
157
00:07:18,532 --> 00:07:20,022
We all know that, son.
158
00:07:20,067 --> 00:07:24,060
l'm Bodhi... philosophical
bank-robbing surfman.
159
00:07:24,104 --> 00:07:26,538
Call him Bodhi.
That helps him get into character.
160
00:07:26,573 --> 00:07:28,632
OK, this is a love scene right now.
161
00:07:28,675 --> 00:07:31,473
So l'm going to need to have more sex
with your aging stunt hooker.
162
00:07:31,512 --> 00:07:33,571
Certainly, Bodhi.
Here's your Nixon mask.
163
00:07:33,614 --> 00:07:36,139
You're gonna need it for the old one.
164
00:07:36,183 --> 00:07:37,980
Daddy, how long has he got to stay here?
165
00:07:38,018 --> 00:07:40,953
Who knows? l'm like the wind.
166
00:07:40,988 --> 00:07:44,788
So maybe like, what, four months?
ls that cool?
167
00:07:44,825 --> 00:07:47,658
Yeah, that's fine.
But no anal.
168
00:07:47,694 --> 00:07:49,753
Granny, get your saggy ass inside.
169
00:07:49,797 --> 00:07:52,095
l'm gonna have to have
another cold beer.
170
00:07:57,004 --> 00:07:59,472
Look who l found in town.
171
00:08:03,343 --> 00:08:07,439
Patrick, this fella's running around
telling everybody he's you.
172
00:08:07,481 --> 00:08:10,416
And he's got your wallet
and your moves.
173
00:08:10,451 --> 00:08:14,512
And he's got your wife
and your DNA, actually.
174
00:08:14,555 --> 00:08:16,546
And this Screen Actor's Guild card...
175
00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:19,582
that says Patrick Swayze right there.
176
00:08:19,626 --> 00:08:21,526
And he's got this poster...
177
00:08:21,562 --> 00:08:24,861
and he can do this pose,
just like on the poster.
178
00:08:24,898 --> 00:08:26,422
Go ahead, show 'em.
179
00:08:26,467 --> 00:08:30,597
And he's got these head shots
that say Patrick Swayze, movie actor.
180
00:08:38,712 --> 00:08:41,681
Yep. The swagger's back.
181
00:08:41,715 --> 00:08:44,206
l'm sorry you had to see that...
182
00:08:44,251 --> 00:08:47,414
but it is awesome that
l was able to kill him in front of you.
183
00:08:47,454 --> 00:08:49,479
l think you just killed
the real Patrick Swayze.
184
00:08:49,523 --> 00:08:53,482
- A Patrick Swayze look-alike?
- Yeah, if you're blind!
185
00:08:53,527 --> 00:08:56,155
Like the guy who played
guitar in my movie Road House.
186
00:08:56,196 --> 00:09:00,132
Come on, Patrick Swayze, come back.
Come back as Ghost.
187
00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:03,102
No. There can be only one.
188
00:09:03,704 --> 00:09:06,332
Well, that solves another mystery, by God.
189
00:09:07,608 --> 00:09:09,269
l've ordered some 'za.
190
00:09:09,309 --> 00:09:11,334
My character in my next film eats pizza.
191
00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:14,040
Uh, for Swayze, Patrick?
192
00:09:14,081 --> 00:09:15,776
Yeah, over here, chief.
That's me.
193
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,807
lt's 14.72.
194
00:09:19,887 --> 00:09:24,586
My character doesn't really have a wallet,
doesn't believe in it.
195
00:09:24,625 --> 00:09:26,786
A wallet killed his wife.
196
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:28,556
Hey, is that Patrick Swayze?
197
00:09:28,595 --> 00:09:30,586
- Excuse me?
- Oh, hell, it's on.
198
00:09:30,631 --> 00:09:33,065
Did you just use my name
without permission?
199
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:35,933
You just pressed the button
that makes me go off.
200
00:09:35,969 --> 00:09:37,698
What did l...?
l pressed the what?
201
00:09:37,738 --> 00:09:39,171
You! Destroy him.
202
00:09:39,206 --> 00:09:41,766
- Look at that, boy.
- There you go.
203
00:09:41,808 --> 00:09:43,935
lt's 14.72.
204
00:09:43,977 --> 00:09:46,775
What you doin'?
You spittin' numerologies at me?
205
00:09:46,813 --> 00:09:49,077
Like this is a damn
math class or something?
206
00:09:49,116 --> 00:09:50,811
Now, say it to my face.
207
00:09:51,618 --> 00:09:52,744
14.72.
208
00:09:52,786 --> 00:09:56,483
Oh, he said them numbers again.
ls it on, or is it off?
209
00:09:56,523 --> 00:09:58,491
lt's on, it's on.
lt's on like...
210
00:09:58,525 --> 00:10:00,686
- Come on, son.
- lt's on like...
211
00:10:00,727 --> 00:10:02,456
Rhyme and simile.
You can do this.
212
00:10:02,496 --> 00:10:05,124
lt is on like Simon Le Bon.
213
00:10:09,203 --> 00:10:11,171
Hell, we'll take it.
214
00:10:11,205 --> 00:10:12,900
Go on, whup his ass, son.
215
00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:27,786
lf this is about the Wild Boy Bread
promotion or the Cheesy Balls...
216
00:10:27,821 --> 00:10:30,346
you get it free with the large and a coupon.
217
00:10:31,024 --> 00:10:33,993
But this is a medium,
and you'd have to call the manager...
218
00:10:34,027 --> 00:10:37,394
if you have a problem or whatever with it.
219
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:41,834
lt's a free-for-all, baby!
Hey, Sheriff!
220
00:10:41,868 --> 00:10:43,096
You want a piece of this?
221
00:10:43,136 --> 00:10:44,933
l'm fine.
222
00:10:44,972 --> 00:10:45,961
Come on, Patrick.
223
00:10:46,006 --> 00:10:48,031
Get you some of this moody
ass whuppin' here.
224
00:10:48,609 --> 00:10:51,476
- Patrick! Where you goin'?
- Free car, asshole!
225
00:10:51,511 --> 00:10:52,739
% You're givin' me... %
226
00:10:52,779 --> 00:10:54,440
See you tonight on the Road House.
227
00:10:57,784 --> 00:11:01,515
% l take a sip, and l can't deny %
228
00:11:01,555 --> 00:11:06,219
% l got thirsty eyes %
229
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:08,160
% l'm gonna use my eyes %
230
00:11:08,195 --> 00:11:11,289
% To look into your eyes, girl %
231
00:11:11,331 --> 00:11:14,061
% Now you're makin' me cry %
232
00:11:15,569 --> 00:11:20,302
% l look away to hide those
thirsty eyes of mine %
233
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,000
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234
00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:29,600
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