All language subtitles for Squidbillies s02e04 Swayze Crazy.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,728 % Girl, you're just like an angel % 2 00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:13,033 % When l lift you up so high % 3 00:00:13,074 --> 00:00:14,837 % Over my head % 4 00:00:16,477 --> 00:00:20,072 % And when we practice in the water % 5 00:00:20,881 --> 00:00:23,509 % l can't quench my desire % 6 00:00:23,551 --> 00:00:29,012 % No matter how wet we get % 7 00:00:29,056 --> 00:00:30,523 - My turn. - Hell, no. 8 00:00:30,558 --> 00:00:33,686 - Man, let me drive that thing. Come on! - Do not touch the trim! 9 00:00:37,031 --> 00:00:38,089 Do it. 10 00:00:41,002 --> 00:00:42,401 Just go ahead and do it. 11 00:00:44,505 --> 00:00:47,201 Yeah, come on. Let's do it. 12 00:00:47,241 --> 00:00:49,641 - Do what? - lt! What you come to do. 13 00:00:49,677 --> 00:00:51,110 l... 14 00:00:51,145 --> 00:00:53,375 Wait a minute. What's that you sayin'? 15 00:00:53,414 --> 00:00:56,178 - What's what...? - You calling me a fool now? ls that it? 16 00:00:56,217 --> 00:00:57,184 l didn't say... 17 00:00:57,218 --> 00:01:00,346 We're gonna have to shake the monkey one time on this son of a bitch. Let's go. 18 00:01:00,388 --> 00:01:03,755 - l don't think l said anything... - l just did. Down, boy. 19 00:01:03,791 --> 00:01:06,123 You better convince them eyelids to get them eyes shut... 20 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,491 or they about to get swelled. 21 00:01:09,263 --> 00:01:11,094 Are you trying to cut me now? 22 00:01:11,132 --> 00:01:12,224 l got a witness. 23 00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:15,599 lt is on like Saigon! 24 00:01:15,636 --> 00:01:18,469 - He just killed my daddy. - Son of a bitch. 25 00:01:18,506 --> 00:01:22,272 Coming up here on my property, trying to big-boy Early Cuyler. 26 00:01:22,943 --> 00:01:27,141 ''Baptist revival tomorrow night. Free juice.'' 27 00:01:27,181 --> 00:01:30,241 Free ju-- Where the hell did you get that? 28 00:01:30,284 --> 00:01:31,774 Howdy, y'all. 29 00:01:31,819 --> 00:01:34,253 Guess who l just apprehended in town. 30 00:01:34,288 --> 00:01:37,155 A dozen of my mama's gingerbread men... 31 00:01:37,191 --> 00:01:39,421 shaped just like yours truly. 32 00:01:40,461 --> 00:01:41,894 They're good! 33 00:01:42,863 --> 00:01:44,330 Whup his ass. 34 00:01:45,966 --> 00:01:47,126 Look at that, boy. 35 00:01:49,870 --> 00:01:50,996 Look at what? 36 00:01:51,038 --> 00:01:52,801 l don't know. 37 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,104 Look at this, right there! 38 00:01:55,142 --> 00:01:58,771 Damn, they would have to fall frosting down. 39 00:01:58,813 --> 00:02:01,008 Oh, Lord, l'm sorry, Sheriff. That was an accident. 40 00:02:01,048 --> 00:02:02,037 Accident? Boy! 41 00:02:03,551 --> 00:02:06,418 l mean accident time on you. 42 00:02:06,454 --> 00:02:10,788 You fall on my fist, your face hurt. Accident to you, boy. 43 00:02:10,825 --> 00:02:11,951 That's what l'm talkin' about. 44 00:02:11,992 --> 00:02:13,482 Hell, yeah! Come on, now. 45 00:02:13,527 --> 00:02:15,290 Turn it on, son. Turn it on. 46 00:02:15,329 --> 00:02:17,194 Turn it on, son. Turn it on. 47 00:02:17,231 --> 00:02:18,664 No, no, it's already on. 48 00:02:18,699 --> 00:02:21,259 OK, you got to tell him it's on. 49 00:02:21,302 --> 00:02:23,497 lt is on, boy. 50 00:02:24,839 --> 00:02:26,670 Follow with a simile. Come on. 51 00:02:26,707 --> 00:02:27,799 lt's on like... 52 00:02:27,842 --> 00:02:28,968 Like... 53 00:02:29,009 --> 00:02:30,977 What's it on like? Preferably a rhyme. 54 00:02:31,011 --> 00:02:33,980 lt's on like, like Michelle Kwan. 55 00:02:34,014 --> 00:02:35,003 Oh, son. 56 00:02:35,049 --> 00:02:37,574 l'll do a triple-axle lutz on your zambonied ice. 57 00:02:37,618 --> 00:02:41,577 Just, just stop, son. 58 00:02:41,622 --> 00:02:46,321 Rusty, it's on like red dawn or Charles Bronson. 59 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,727 Or hell, l'd even have accepted the movie Tron. 60 00:02:49,764 --> 00:02:52,164 But Michelle Kwan? Please! 61 00:02:52,199 --> 00:02:54,224 She made sacrifices to get where she is. 62 00:02:54,268 --> 00:02:58,170 Damn it! How many times have we watched Road House this weekend? 63 00:02:58,205 --> 00:03:02,198 How many times, Rusty? How damn many? 64 00:03:02,243 --> 00:03:03,574 Four? 65 00:03:03,611 --> 00:03:05,909 Damn, that's a lot. 66 00:03:05,946 --> 00:03:09,973 We love the hell out of that movie film. But why, son? Why? 67 00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:12,542 'Cause Patrick Swayze lives his life like a real man. 68 00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:15,555 Asses is kicked, names is taken, love is made. 69 00:03:15,589 --> 00:03:17,250 Then commercial. 70 00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:19,657 You all know he's starting a film festival up here, don't you? 71 00:03:19,693 --> 00:03:22,924 Just like Sundance, only this is called Dirtydance. 72 00:03:22,963 --> 00:03:25,693 Why wouldn't he just call it Road House? 73 00:03:25,733 --> 00:03:28,395 Well, you can ask him yourself. He's down at my office. 74 00:03:28,435 --> 00:03:29,663 The Patrick Swayze? 75 00:03:29,703 --> 00:03:32,194 From the moving picture from the television Road House? 76 00:03:32,239 --> 00:03:35,231 - ln the flesh? - The one and same. 77 00:03:35,276 --> 00:03:37,437 Yeah, that's right. 78 00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:40,311 l'm Patrick Swayze. 79 00:03:45,286 --> 00:03:47,151 Damn, boy. He's smaller in real life. 80 00:03:47,188 --> 00:03:48,553 Russell Jesse James! 81 00:03:48,589 --> 00:03:49,817 Hey, it's all right. 82 00:03:49,857 --> 00:03:54,294 My legs ran away to Hollywood to star in Next Of Kin ll. 83 00:03:54,328 --> 00:03:56,353 Go ahead. Tell them what you're working on. 84 00:03:56,397 --> 00:03:58,797 Yeah, Patrick. What's your latest project? 85 00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:01,358 You see this soffit over this vent pipe? 86 00:04:01,402 --> 00:04:04,030 l'm changing it into a sunrise. 87 00:04:04,772 --> 00:04:09,709 OK, but we are going to put the bars back in here, right? 88 00:04:09,743 --> 00:04:12,177 Hey, old man, l thought l told you... 89 00:04:12,213 --> 00:04:15,444 it's my way or the highway. 90 00:04:15,482 --> 00:04:18,349 Daddy, this old boy don't seem like Swayze to me. 91 00:04:18,385 --> 00:04:19,374 Oh, yeah? 92 00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:22,514 Hey, you remember in Road House when l bought that crappy car... 93 00:04:22,556 --> 00:04:25,719 and bought some extra tires, 'cause l knew someone... 94 00:04:25,759 --> 00:04:28,091 was gonna cut my tires outside the Double Deuce. 95 00:04:28,128 --> 00:04:29,652 Sure enough, that happened. 96 00:04:29,697 --> 00:04:33,258 And l changed the tires, and l drove away. Remember that? 97 00:04:33,801 --> 00:04:36,964 - Yeah. - That was me. 98 00:04:37,004 --> 00:04:39,495 Oh, my God Almighty! lt is him! 99 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:42,065 Patrick Swayze, it is an honor to meet you. 100 00:04:42,109 --> 00:04:44,077 Patrick, l know you must get this all the time... 101 00:04:44,111 --> 00:04:46,841 but if it wouldn't be too much trouble to you... 102 00:04:46,881 --> 00:04:49,475 would you please drop a double-deuce ass whuppin' on my boy? 103 00:04:49,516 --> 00:04:52,007 Well, of course. l'd be delighted. Hold his arms for me. 104 00:04:52,052 --> 00:04:54,111 - Daddy, this ain't right. - Take your movie whupping like a man. 105 00:04:55,422 --> 00:05:00,519 % Oh, my dear % 106 00:05:01,262 --> 00:05:03,492 % My lovely % 107 00:05:03,530 --> 00:05:06,522 % l hunger for those... % 108 00:05:07,101 --> 00:05:08,534 % Fries % 109 00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:10,264 % Those crazy Road House... % 110 00:05:10,304 --> 00:05:13,273 l hate to cut you off, and l love your backdrop, don't get me wrong. 111 00:05:13,307 --> 00:05:14,934 lt's very evocative of the period. 112 00:05:14,975 --> 00:05:17,102 But it does lack a certain... 113 00:05:18,145 --> 00:05:20,943 bricks and mortar quality. 114 00:05:20,981 --> 00:05:23,575 l'm from Texas. l ride horses. 115 00:05:23,617 --> 00:05:25,812 Yeah, l know that, but these guys here... 116 00:05:25,853 --> 00:05:30,119 see, they rape horses... for a living. 117 00:05:30,157 --> 00:05:32,990 So that's kind of the reason we had to keep a close rein... 118 00:05:33,027 --> 00:05:35,325 l'm the cooler. You're the bouncer. 119 00:05:35,362 --> 00:05:38,593 And you've mentioned that. You have, a lot, but... 120 00:05:38,632 --> 00:05:41,499 Hey, old man, it's my highway... 121 00:05:41,535 --> 00:05:43,765 or it's that way. 122 00:05:43,804 --> 00:05:45,965 My way. 123 00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:47,871 Let's take it outside. 124 00:05:47,908 --> 00:05:52,140 % l'm from Texas % 125 00:05:53,013 --> 00:05:54,503 Are you guys are not gonna...? 126 00:05:57,618 --> 00:06:01,213 Life. lt's so absurd. 127 00:06:02,456 --> 00:06:05,755 We got an 875-51-50 in progress. 128 00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:06,953 Request backup. Over. 129 00:06:08,128 --> 00:06:09,288 Over? 130 00:06:10,764 --> 00:06:12,925 Oh, hot damn. 131 00:06:12,967 --> 00:06:14,298 Come in, mama. 132 00:06:14,335 --> 00:06:16,360 Our table at the steakhouse is ready. 133 00:06:16,403 --> 00:06:17,802 Come back. 134 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:22,241 Patrick's just gonna be with us a couple of days... 135 00:06:22,276 --> 00:06:24,471 till he gets his bouncer's license back. 136 00:06:24,511 --> 00:06:26,672 What's that? Patrick Swayze? 137 00:06:26,714 --> 00:06:29,274 Oh, l'm sleeping with him. Where is he? 138 00:06:29,316 --> 00:06:31,341 That ain't Patrick Swayze. 139 00:06:31,385 --> 00:06:33,410 He is if l have enough cold beers. 140 00:06:33,454 --> 00:06:35,649 Y'all shut your damn tooth hole. 141 00:06:35,689 --> 00:06:39,022 l think he's making a movie about us right now. 142 00:06:39,059 --> 00:06:40,617 Y'all have a shower? 143 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:43,960 l'm remaking Point Break, and l gotta practice being wet. 144 00:06:43,998 --> 00:06:46,296 l need to speak with you for a second, privately. 145 00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:48,301 Son, there ain't no privacy when you're Patrick Swayze. 146 00:06:48,335 --> 00:06:50,269 He's been in Road House numertous times. 147 00:06:50,304 --> 00:06:53,330 Hell, he was on Road House in my house for five times... 148 00:06:53,374 --> 00:06:54,898 on the television set today. 149 00:06:54,942 --> 00:06:57,274 Well, this here ain't Patrick Swayze. 150 00:06:57,311 --> 00:06:59,779 Hey, what can be said to me can be said to Patrick. 151 00:06:59,813 --> 00:07:01,781 l told you, it ain't Patrick Swayze. 152 00:07:05,619 --> 00:07:07,917 l'm confused. What are you sayin'? 153 00:07:07,955 --> 00:07:11,083 lt ain't Dalton, it ain't the famous Cooler, it ain't none of 'em. 154 00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:14,424 Daddy, that ain't Patrick Swayze at all. 155 00:07:14,461 --> 00:07:16,053 Hey, let's tell Patrick this. 156 00:07:16,096 --> 00:07:18,496 - He'll get a kick out of it. - lt ain't Patrick Swayze! 157 00:07:18,532 --> 00:07:20,022 We all know that, son. 158 00:07:20,067 --> 00:07:24,060 l'm Bodhi... philosophical bank-robbing surfman. 159 00:07:24,104 --> 00:07:26,538 Call him Bodhi. That helps him get into character. 160 00:07:26,573 --> 00:07:28,632 OK, this is a love scene right now. 161 00:07:28,675 --> 00:07:31,473 So l'm going to need to have more sex with your aging stunt hooker. 162 00:07:31,512 --> 00:07:33,571 Certainly, Bodhi. Here's your Nixon mask. 163 00:07:33,614 --> 00:07:36,139 You're gonna need it for the old one. 164 00:07:36,183 --> 00:07:37,980 Daddy, how long has he got to stay here? 165 00:07:38,018 --> 00:07:40,953 Who knows? l'm like the wind. 166 00:07:40,988 --> 00:07:44,788 So maybe like, what, four months? ls that cool? 167 00:07:44,825 --> 00:07:47,658 Yeah, that's fine. But no anal. 168 00:07:47,694 --> 00:07:49,753 Granny, get your saggy ass inside. 169 00:07:49,797 --> 00:07:52,095 l'm gonna have to have another cold beer. 170 00:07:57,004 --> 00:07:59,472 Look who l found in town. 171 00:08:03,343 --> 00:08:07,439 Patrick, this fella's running around telling everybody he's you. 172 00:08:07,481 --> 00:08:10,416 And he's got your wallet and your moves. 173 00:08:10,451 --> 00:08:14,512 And he's got your wife and your DNA, actually. 174 00:08:14,555 --> 00:08:16,546 And this Screen Actor's Guild card... 175 00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:19,582 that says Patrick Swayze right there. 176 00:08:19,626 --> 00:08:21,526 And he's got this poster... 177 00:08:21,562 --> 00:08:24,861 and he can do this pose, just like on the poster. 178 00:08:24,898 --> 00:08:26,422 Go ahead, show 'em. 179 00:08:26,467 --> 00:08:30,597 And he's got these head shots that say Patrick Swayze, movie actor. 180 00:08:38,712 --> 00:08:41,681 Yep. The swagger's back. 181 00:08:41,715 --> 00:08:44,206 l'm sorry you had to see that... 182 00:08:44,251 --> 00:08:47,414 but it is awesome that l was able to kill him in front of you. 183 00:08:47,454 --> 00:08:49,479 l think you just killed the real Patrick Swayze. 184 00:08:49,523 --> 00:08:53,482 - A Patrick Swayze look-alike? - Yeah, if you're blind! 185 00:08:53,527 --> 00:08:56,155 Like the guy who played guitar in my movie Road House. 186 00:08:56,196 --> 00:09:00,132 Come on, Patrick Swayze, come back. Come back as Ghost. 187 00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:03,102 No. There can be only one. 188 00:09:03,704 --> 00:09:06,332 Well, that solves another mystery, by God. 189 00:09:07,608 --> 00:09:09,269 l've ordered some 'za. 190 00:09:09,309 --> 00:09:11,334 My character in my next film eats pizza. 191 00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:14,040 Uh, for Swayze, Patrick? 192 00:09:14,081 --> 00:09:15,776 Yeah, over here, chief. That's me. 193 00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,807 lt's 14.72. 194 00:09:19,887 --> 00:09:24,586 My character doesn't really have a wallet, doesn't believe in it. 195 00:09:24,625 --> 00:09:26,786 A wallet killed his wife. 196 00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:28,556 Hey, is that Patrick Swayze? 197 00:09:28,595 --> 00:09:30,586 - Excuse me? - Oh, hell, it's on. 198 00:09:30,631 --> 00:09:33,065 Did you just use my name without permission? 199 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:35,933 You just pressed the button that makes me go off. 200 00:09:35,969 --> 00:09:37,698 What did l...? l pressed the what? 201 00:09:37,738 --> 00:09:39,171 You! Destroy him. 202 00:09:39,206 --> 00:09:41,766 - Look at that, boy. - There you go. 203 00:09:41,808 --> 00:09:43,935 lt's 14.72. 204 00:09:43,977 --> 00:09:46,775 What you doin'? You spittin' numerologies at me? 205 00:09:46,813 --> 00:09:49,077 Like this is a damn math class or something? 206 00:09:49,116 --> 00:09:50,811 Now, say it to my face. 207 00:09:51,618 --> 00:09:52,744 14.72. 208 00:09:52,786 --> 00:09:56,483 Oh, he said them numbers again. ls it on, or is it off? 209 00:09:56,523 --> 00:09:58,491 lt's on, it's on. lt's on like... 210 00:09:58,525 --> 00:10:00,686 - Come on, son. - lt's on like... 211 00:10:00,727 --> 00:10:02,456 Rhyme and simile. You can do this. 212 00:10:02,496 --> 00:10:05,124 lt is on like Simon Le Bon. 213 00:10:09,203 --> 00:10:11,171 Hell, we'll take it. 214 00:10:11,205 --> 00:10:12,900 Go on, whup his ass, son. 215 00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:27,786 lf this is about the Wild Boy Bread promotion or the Cheesy Balls... 216 00:10:27,821 --> 00:10:30,346 you get it free with the large and a coupon. 217 00:10:31,024 --> 00:10:33,993 But this is a medium, and you'd have to call the manager... 218 00:10:34,027 --> 00:10:37,394 if you have a problem or whatever with it. 219 00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:41,834 lt's a free-for-all, baby! Hey, Sheriff! 220 00:10:41,868 --> 00:10:43,096 You want a piece of this? 221 00:10:43,136 --> 00:10:44,933 l'm fine. 222 00:10:44,972 --> 00:10:45,961 Come on, Patrick. 223 00:10:46,006 --> 00:10:48,031 Get you some of this moody ass whuppin' here. 224 00:10:48,609 --> 00:10:51,476 - Patrick! Where you goin'? - Free car, asshole! 225 00:10:51,511 --> 00:10:52,739 % You're givin' me... % 226 00:10:52,779 --> 00:10:54,440 See you tonight on the Road House. 227 00:10:57,784 --> 00:11:01,515 % l take a sip, and l can't deny % 228 00:11:01,555 --> 00:11:06,219 % l got thirsty eyes % 229 00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:08,160 % l'm gonna use my eyes % 230 00:11:08,195 --> 00:11:11,289 % To look into your eyes, girl % 231 00:11:11,331 --> 00:11:14,061 % Now you're makin' me cry % 232 00:11:15,569 --> 00:11:20,302 % l look away to hide those thirsty eyes of mine % 233 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,000 Subtitles by BloodLogic 234 00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:29,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 17720

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