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1
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,929
% My oldest son was born an albino %
2
00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:14,938
% My youngest is covered in hair %
3
00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:20,937
% The middle one says he's a homosexual %
4
00:00:22,383 --> 00:00:25,511
% The other seven are gone,
l don't know where %
5
00:00:25,553 --> 00:00:27,783
% and l don't care %
6
00:00:27,822 --> 00:00:29,312
% l just don't care %
7
00:00:29,356 --> 00:00:30,618
- My turn.
- Hell, no.
8
00:00:30,658 --> 00:00:33,786
- Man, let me drive that thing. Come on!
- Do not touch the trim!
9
00:00:37,164 --> 00:00:40,497
All right then, y'all bow your heads.
10
00:00:40,534 --> 00:00:43,901
God almighty, we ask you to bless this...
11
00:00:53,814 --> 00:00:56,476
Russell, kindly turn down the electronica.
12
00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:04,857
God almighty, we ask you to bless
this feast that lie before us...
13
00:01:04,892 --> 00:01:07,190
and please allow
these spent lottery tickets...
14
00:01:07,228 --> 00:01:09,025
with their silver scratchery seasonings...
15
00:01:09,063 --> 00:01:13,557
to nourish our bodies, as they were unable
to do the same to our wallets.
16
00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:16,126
Lord, thank you
for the untimely frost you sent...
17
00:01:16,170 --> 00:01:18,434
what claimed our
pointless banana orchards.
18
00:01:18,472 --> 00:01:21,236
Oh, l was a fool to plant
bananers on a mountain.
19
00:01:21,275 --> 00:01:22,742
You made sure of that.
20
00:01:22,777 --> 00:01:25,610
ln short, thank you for nothing.
21
00:01:25,646 --> 00:01:27,637
You want to thank the Lord
for that truck boat truck?
22
00:01:27,681 --> 00:01:30,081
You silly bitch, don't be telling Him
about my truck boat truck.
23
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But, Daddy, you tell everybody about that.
That's your pride and joy.
24
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Because it's bad-ass, is why.
Check out this mess.
25
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Listen to that 450 big block!
26
00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:46,856
So enjoy my 450 big block, Lord...
27
00:01:46,901 --> 00:01:50,462
which you have seen fit
to take from me in your jealous rage.
28
00:01:50,504 --> 00:01:52,938
We had best reap your holy rewards...
29
00:01:52,973 --> 00:01:56,306
in tonight's drawing of the
Tricky Two Jackpot Extravaganza!
30
00:01:56,343 --> 00:01:58,436
You best to make it so!
31
00:01:58,479 --> 00:01:59,810
Amen.
32
00:02:00,915 --> 00:02:03,975
What the hell was that about?
ls he serious?
33
00:02:04,018 --> 00:02:05,883
l didn't come down here to be threatened.
34
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:10,152
Lord, l need a favor.
Think you can hook me up?
35
00:02:10,191 --> 00:02:13,524
You know, no. l'm not giving you
the Tricky Two numbers.
36
00:02:13,561 --> 00:02:14,926
OK, sorry, sweetie.
37
00:02:14,962 --> 00:02:17,590
Well, how about just a little taste
of the alpha and omega?
38
00:02:17,631 --> 00:02:19,496
Then l would be giving you
both of the numbers.
39
00:02:20,835 --> 00:02:22,735
No! l'm saying l'm not doing it.
40
00:02:22,770 --> 00:02:25,261
- Come on.
- Look, l just can't do it.
41
00:02:25,306 --> 00:02:27,797
But you know who you should try?
And l'm serious. Satan.
42
00:02:27,842 --> 00:02:29,571
- Satan's a self...
- l know.
43
00:02:29,610 --> 00:02:30,577
But you know something?
44
00:02:30,611 --> 00:02:33,136
He likes working with the elderly.
lt's not a bad choice.
45
00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:35,808
l'll never masturbate again.
46
00:02:36,984 --> 00:02:37,973
Come on.
47
00:02:39,119 --> 00:02:40,677
l know.
48
00:02:40,721 --> 00:02:42,450
Woman, get in here!
They pulling the numbers!
49
00:02:43,090 --> 00:02:49,256
Tonight's winning numbers for
the Tricky Two Jackpot Extravaganza are...
50
00:02:49,296 --> 00:02:51,662
- 7.
- 7.
51
00:02:51,699 --> 00:02:53,667
And... 4!
52
00:02:53,701 --> 00:02:55,134
7 and 4?
53
00:02:55,169 --> 00:02:56,693
7 and 4?
l got it!
54
00:02:56,737 --> 00:02:57,761
You got it, boy.
55
00:02:59,139 --> 00:03:01,300
And ''W''.
56
00:03:01,342 --> 00:03:02,366
Yes, ''W''.
57
00:03:02,409 --> 00:03:05,276
So tonight's two winning numbers...
58
00:03:05,312 --> 00:03:08,941
for the Tricky Two are 7 and 4 and ''W''.
59
00:03:08,983 --> 00:03:12,214
Have a problem with that?
Well, move to New York.
60
00:03:12,253 --> 00:03:14,949
A portion of tonight's Tricky Two
will benefit Georgia public schools.
61
00:03:14,989 --> 00:03:17,890
Georgia public schools.
Someone has to build the cars.
62
00:03:17,925 --> 00:03:20,291
Damn that Tricky Two!
63
00:03:20,327 --> 00:03:23,160
They tricked us again
with the third number.
64
00:03:23,197 --> 00:03:24,323
Damn lottery.
65
00:03:24,365 --> 00:03:26,424
l ain't never won Jack Squattery.
66
00:03:27,735 --> 00:03:31,501
''l ain't won jack a lot from the squattery.
67
00:03:31,538 --> 00:03:34,166
''The lottery should be the jacksquattery...
68
00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:38,338
'''cause l ain't jack squatting a lot...y.''
69
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,872
There's more.
70
00:03:40,915 --> 00:03:44,976
''They should rename the lottery
to the jacksquattery...
71
00:03:45,019 --> 00:03:47,351
'''cause that's all l ever win in it.''
72
00:03:47,388 --> 00:03:48,514
There you go.
73
00:03:48,555 --> 00:03:50,113
Five exclamation points.
74
00:03:50,157 --> 00:03:53,217
Oh, you slap that on a hat
and you gonna make you some money.
75
00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:54,522
Make me some money.
76
00:03:54,561 --> 00:03:57,325
- Damn it, l need some money!
- Of course you do.
77
00:03:57,364 --> 00:04:01,824
Listen, Early, l'm catching some heat
from the State gaming commission.
78
00:04:01,869 --> 00:04:06,829
Apparently they want someone to win
the Tricky Two other than me.
79
00:04:06,874 --> 00:04:12,073
So tonight, l want you to cup my balls.
80
00:04:19,186 --> 00:04:23,782
Up to now, Lord, you've had your
gigantic sandal foot placed...
81
00:04:23,824 --> 00:04:26,292
on the windpipe of all my dreams.
82
00:04:26,327 --> 00:04:31,162
But even as you try to defeat me,
l hatch another idea to defeat you.
83
00:04:31,198 --> 00:04:32,722
Amen.
84
00:04:32,766 --> 00:04:35,030
Or is it?
85
00:04:35,069 --> 00:04:38,561
Listen, play this favorite
record backwards, and smash it!
86
00:04:38,605 --> 00:04:40,266
l'll do you. l'll do you hard.
87
00:04:40,307 --> 00:04:43,538
l'll do you till your brains fly out
and kiss your soul into the dirt.
88
00:04:43,577 --> 00:04:45,374
l'll rape you like a monster pig in hell.
89
00:04:47,214 --> 00:04:48,841
What... What did you need?
90
00:04:48,882 --> 00:04:52,477
- The Tricky Two jackpot numbers.
- No, no, no.
91
00:04:52,519 --> 00:04:55,249
How about l burn your ass
like a sweet potato?
92
00:04:55,289 --> 00:04:57,917
- Yeah, OK.
- Really?
93
00:04:57,958 --> 00:05:02,759
Oh, well, then, you're gonna steal money
from the government by falsifying...
94
00:05:02,796 --> 00:05:04,093
No, that one sucks, wait a minute.
95
00:05:04,131 --> 00:05:06,361
Ah, Satan, come on.
Use your A game here.
96
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,458
Cheat on...
97
00:05:07,501 --> 00:05:09,594
Tell her to pee in her neighbor's brain.
98
00:05:09,636 --> 00:05:12,605
- To pee in her neighbor's brain.
- To pee in her neighbor's brain!
99
00:05:12,639 --> 00:05:16,973
To pee... To pee in your neighbor's brain!
100
00:05:17,011 --> 00:05:19,571
- Second head butting.
- Yes, you nailed it.
101
00:05:19,613 --> 00:05:21,376
- That's it.
- No!
102
00:05:21,415 --> 00:05:24,043
Shut up.
l double dare you!
103
00:05:24,084 --> 00:05:27,520
l'm a big time potty mouth.
Swearing makes me tough.
104
00:05:27,554 --> 00:05:29,852
You're a confused individual.
105
00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:32,085
Granny, Granny!
Gather up the family.
106
00:05:32,126 --> 00:05:36,392
This is the night that Early Cuyler
detrickulatates The Tricky Two.
107
00:05:36,430 --> 00:05:38,330
Hey, who here killed my favorite snake?
108
00:05:39,233 --> 00:05:43,226
Welcome to tonight's
Tricky Two jackpot extravaganza.
109
00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:47,639
And now, yank forth the balls!
110
00:05:47,674 --> 00:05:48,732
Acorn.
111
00:05:48,776 --> 00:05:50,175
Acorn. And?
112
00:05:50,210 --> 00:05:52,906
- Bolt.
- Bolt?
113
00:05:52,946 --> 00:05:56,143
So, the two numbers
are acorn and bolt, and...
114
00:05:56,183 --> 00:05:57,411
And a fist of pine straw.
115
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,078
And pine straw.
116
00:06:01,121 --> 00:06:03,282
- Pine cone.
- Pine cone.
117
00:06:03,323 --> 00:06:05,655
- Here we got a hog nut.
- Hog testicle.
118
00:06:05,692 --> 00:06:07,683
- Shell casin'.
- Shell casing.
119
00:06:07,728 --> 00:06:09,127
- Eyeball.
- Eyeball?
120
00:06:09,163 --> 00:06:10,289
Go, Daddy, go!
121
00:06:10,330 --> 00:06:13,231
- Another shell casin'.
- And another shell casing.
122
00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:16,236
And finally, a squirrel skull.
123
00:06:16,270 --> 00:06:18,397
And squirrel skull.
124
00:06:18,439 --> 00:06:19,599
So, tonight's numbers are...
125
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:23,041
Wait a minute, hold on...
And this right here.
126
00:06:23,077 --> 00:06:25,944
Partial brain matter.
Of course.
127
00:06:25,979 --> 00:06:27,947
So, tonight's numbers are:
128
00:06:27,981 --> 00:06:31,439
Acorn, bolt, pine straw,
pine cone, hog testicle...
129
00:06:31,485 --> 00:06:32,952
shell casing, shell casing...
130
00:06:32,986 --> 00:06:36,717
eyeball, and finally squirrel skull
with partial brain matter...
131
00:06:36,757 --> 00:06:38,384
sort of still in it.
132
00:06:39,426 --> 00:06:41,223
l am a winner!
133
00:06:41,261 --> 00:06:43,889
l'm gonna get my grandma
that operation she needs for a transplant.
134
00:06:43,931 --> 00:06:45,228
Bingo!
Bingo!
135
00:06:45,265 --> 00:06:47,233
Bingo, bingo, bingo!
136
00:06:47,267 --> 00:06:48,256
Bingo! Bingo, bingo!
137
00:06:49,803 --> 00:06:52,772
Well, congratulations, Early.
138
00:06:52,806 --> 00:06:55,604
You finally won the lottery.
139
00:06:55,642 --> 00:06:58,042
Shirley Jackson's The Lottery.
140
00:07:02,850 --> 00:07:04,078
He doesn't understand.
141
00:07:04,118 --> 00:07:08,020
Did you... You did take freshman English,
didn't you?
142
00:07:08,055 --> 00:07:12,185
But then, you know, it's the short story,
the winner gets stoned.
143
00:07:12,226 --> 00:07:15,923
- Too late, chief.
- No, we're not... All right.
144
00:07:15,963 --> 00:07:17,021
Everyone, just sit down.
145
00:07:18,565 --> 00:07:21,830
''The morning of June 27th
was clear and sunny...
146
00:07:21,869 --> 00:07:24,702
''with the fresh warmth
of a full summer day...
147
00:07:24,738 --> 00:07:26,933
''Stone hit her on the side of the head.
148
00:07:26,974 --> 00:07:29,101
''lt isn't fair! lt isn't right!
149
00:07:29,143 --> 00:07:34,672
''Mrs. Hutchinson screamed.
And then they were upon her.''
150
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:39,552
- Early? Your opinion?
- When we gonna get high?
151
00:07:39,586 --> 00:07:43,249
- l mean, l won the damn drawing, right?
- Oh, you won the drawing.
152
00:07:43,290 --> 00:07:46,054
The drawing and the quartering!
153
00:07:49,496 --> 00:07:51,396
Just lower the check.
154
00:07:51,431 --> 00:07:54,594
See, right here it says that...
155
00:07:54,635 --> 00:07:59,595
''You will be ripped asunder
by the 4,000 horsepower semis...
156
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:04,168
''of the a-truck-o-lypse.
This Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.''
157
00:08:05,179 --> 00:08:06,168
Standard echo on the...
158
00:08:06,213 --> 00:08:07,805
- Damn.
- ...weekday name.
159
00:08:07,848 --> 00:08:09,679
Wake up, Granny.
Hey, Granny.
160
00:08:09,716 --> 00:08:11,684
- You won the lottery!
- l did?
161
00:08:11,718 --> 00:08:14,482
- Oh, yeah, you done it.
- Oh, Early!
162
00:08:14,521 --> 00:08:17,786
You're such a sweet, sweet...
163
00:08:17,824 --> 00:08:18,984
Son of a bitch!
164
00:08:19,026 --> 00:08:20,994
You die in hell!
165
00:08:21,028 --> 00:08:22,757
Hey, darling, how much for your corn dog?
166
00:08:22,796 --> 00:08:26,027
- l thought they threw rocks in the book.
- Rocks are boring.
167
00:08:26,066 --> 00:08:27,727
Ladies and gentlemen...
168
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:31,829
put your pain ponchos on
and huddle beneath the plexiglass...
169
00:08:31,872 --> 00:08:35,603
lest your faces be stained
with the filthy entrails...
170
00:08:35,642 --> 00:08:40,579
of this profoundly unlucky
sesquaceptuiginarian!
171
00:08:41,381 --> 00:08:43,781
% Time, the time will pass %
172
00:08:43,817 --> 00:08:45,114
Super Goliath!
173
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,254
Ultra Goliath!
174
00:08:50,224 --> 00:08:56,720
ln the name of Georgia public schools,
tear her to bits!
175
00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:01,324
Look at that!
176
00:09:02,603 --> 00:09:04,366
Look at the violence!
177
00:09:05,706 --> 00:09:07,503
Wait for it...
178
00:09:07,541 --> 00:09:09,668
Still to come...
179
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:13,373
Any minute now.
180
00:09:13,413 --> 00:09:16,814
Granted the creature is elastic,
and l didn't foresee that, but...
181
00:09:16,850 --> 00:09:20,786
- Switch over to the beauty tips, sonny.
- There's still the possibility...
182
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:23,756
that you could watch her rip somehow.
183
00:09:24,891 --> 00:09:27,451
Just look at that painted up whore.
184
00:09:27,494 --> 00:09:28,756
Nick her with the scissors.
185
00:09:28,795 --> 00:09:31,491
- Granny's got a little itch on her nose.
- Wait, don't go!
186
00:09:31,531 --> 00:09:34,159
Could you just give me
a little scratchy scratch?
187
00:09:34,201 --> 00:09:37,193
- Hey, anything could happen here still.
- Right here?
188
00:09:37,237 --> 00:09:39,671
- Just a little lower.
- Right there?
189
00:09:39,706 --> 00:09:40,730
Little lower.
190
00:09:42,042 --> 00:09:43,202
Just... Just wait.
191
00:09:43,243 --> 00:09:45,302
Wait till... l'll...
l'll call the drivers.
192
00:09:45,345 --> 00:09:46,505
Super Goliath!
193
00:09:46,546 --> 00:09:48,446
Have you got your ears on?
194
00:09:48,482 --> 00:09:50,677
Copy here, boss.
l-20's a parking lot down here...
195
00:09:50,717 --> 00:09:53,777
got a melon truck jack-knifed
at the clover leaf. Over.
196
00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:56,220
Ultra Goliath, where are you now?
197
00:09:56,256 --> 00:09:59,248
Roger that, l'm at the rest area.
198
00:09:59,293 --> 00:10:01,022
Getting my groove on.
199
00:10:02,229 --> 00:10:04,026
Thought we's done with all this.
200
00:10:04,064 --> 00:10:06,862
Oh, forget it. This sucks.
201
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:09,368
Just a wee hair lower.
202
00:10:09,403 --> 00:10:11,564
Well, l'll go down right here.
That's far as l'm goin'.
203
00:10:11,605 --> 00:10:13,630
Oh, that's it.
204
00:10:13,674 --> 00:10:16,370
Yeah, you're good at that, aren't you?
205
00:10:17,244 --> 00:10:18,233
Spank me.
206
00:10:19,746 --> 00:10:22,112
Granny, l ain't goin' no lower, you know it.
207
00:10:24,017 --> 00:10:25,416
Hi, how you doing?
208
00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:28,353
Well, l'm OK.
209
00:10:30,357 --> 00:10:33,815
Hey, listen.
You ever see one of these here up close?
210
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:40,000
Subtitles by
BloodLogic
211
00:11:04,591 --> 00:11:06,821
And finally, squirrel skull.
212
00:11:06,871 --> 00:11:11,421
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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