All language subtitles for Squidbillies s02e03 Double Truckin the Tricky Two.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,929 % My oldest son was born an albino % 2 00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:14,938 % My youngest is covered in hair % 3 00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:20,937 % The middle one says he's a homosexual % 4 00:00:22,383 --> 00:00:25,511 % The other seven are gone, l don't know where % 5 00:00:25,553 --> 00:00:27,783 % and l don't care % 6 00:00:27,822 --> 00:00:29,312 % l just don't care % 7 00:00:29,356 --> 00:00:30,618 - My turn. - Hell, no. 8 00:00:30,658 --> 00:00:33,786 - Man, let me drive that thing. Come on! - Do not touch the trim! 9 00:00:37,164 --> 00:00:40,497 All right then, y'all bow your heads. 10 00:00:40,534 --> 00:00:43,901 God almighty, we ask you to bless this... 11 00:00:53,814 --> 00:00:56,476 Russell, kindly turn down the electronica. 12 00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:04,857 God almighty, we ask you to bless this feast that lie before us... 13 00:01:04,892 --> 00:01:07,190 and please allow these spent lottery tickets... 14 00:01:07,228 --> 00:01:09,025 with their silver scratchery seasonings... 15 00:01:09,063 --> 00:01:13,557 to nourish our bodies, as they were unable to do the same to our wallets. 16 00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:16,126 Lord, thank you for the untimely frost you sent... 17 00:01:16,170 --> 00:01:18,434 what claimed our pointless banana orchards. 18 00:01:18,472 --> 00:01:21,236 Oh, l was a fool to plant bananers on a mountain. 19 00:01:21,275 --> 00:01:22,742 You made sure of that. 20 00:01:22,777 --> 00:01:25,610 ln short, thank you for nothing. 21 00:01:25,646 --> 00:01:27,637 You want to thank the Lord for that truck boat truck? 22 00:01:27,681 --> 00:01:30,081 You silly bitch, don't be telling Him about my truck boat truck. 23 00:01:30,117 --> 00:01:32,278 But, Daddy, you tell everybody about that. That's your pride and joy. 24 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,755 Because it's bad-ass, is why. Check out this mess. 25 00:01:36,991 --> 00:01:38,686 Listen to that 450 big block! 26 00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:46,856 So enjoy my 450 big block, Lord... 27 00:01:46,901 --> 00:01:50,462 which you have seen fit to take from me in your jealous rage. 28 00:01:50,504 --> 00:01:52,938 We had best reap your holy rewards... 29 00:01:52,973 --> 00:01:56,306 in tonight's drawing of the Tricky Two Jackpot Extravaganza! 30 00:01:56,343 --> 00:01:58,436 You best to make it so! 31 00:01:58,479 --> 00:01:59,810 Amen. 32 00:02:00,915 --> 00:02:03,975 What the hell was that about? ls he serious? 33 00:02:04,018 --> 00:02:05,883 l didn't come down here to be threatened. 34 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:10,152 Lord, l need a favor. Think you can hook me up? 35 00:02:10,191 --> 00:02:13,524 You know, no. l'm not giving you the Tricky Two numbers. 36 00:02:13,561 --> 00:02:14,926 OK, sorry, sweetie. 37 00:02:14,962 --> 00:02:17,590 Well, how about just a little taste of the alpha and omega? 38 00:02:17,631 --> 00:02:19,496 Then l would be giving you both of the numbers. 39 00:02:20,835 --> 00:02:22,735 No! l'm saying l'm not doing it. 40 00:02:22,770 --> 00:02:25,261 - Come on. - Look, l just can't do it. 41 00:02:25,306 --> 00:02:27,797 But you know who you should try? And l'm serious. Satan. 42 00:02:27,842 --> 00:02:29,571 - Satan's a self... - l know. 43 00:02:29,610 --> 00:02:30,577 But you know something? 44 00:02:30,611 --> 00:02:33,136 He likes working with the elderly. lt's not a bad choice. 45 00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:35,808 l'll never masturbate again. 46 00:02:36,984 --> 00:02:37,973 Come on. 47 00:02:39,119 --> 00:02:40,677 l know. 48 00:02:40,721 --> 00:02:42,450 Woman, get in here! They pulling the numbers! 49 00:02:43,090 --> 00:02:49,256 Tonight's winning numbers for the Tricky Two Jackpot Extravaganza are... 50 00:02:49,296 --> 00:02:51,662 - 7. - 7. 51 00:02:51,699 --> 00:02:53,667 And... 4! 52 00:02:53,701 --> 00:02:55,134 7 and 4? 53 00:02:55,169 --> 00:02:56,693 7 and 4? l got it! 54 00:02:56,737 --> 00:02:57,761 You got it, boy. 55 00:02:59,139 --> 00:03:01,300 And ''W''. 56 00:03:01,342 --> 00:03:02,366 Yes, ''W''. 57 00:03:02,409 --> 00:03:05,276 So tonight's two winning numbers... 58 00:03:05,312 --> 00:03:08,941 for the Tricky Two are 7 and 4 and ''W''. 59 00:03:08,983 --> 00:03:12,214 Have a problem with that? Well, move to New York. 60 00:03:12,253 --> 00:03:14,949 A portion of tonight's Tricky Two will benefit Georgia public schools. 61 00:03:14,989 --> 00:03:17,890 Georgia public schools. Someone has to build the cars. 62 00:03:17,925 --> 00:03:20,291 Damn that Tricky Two! 63 00:03:20,327 --> 00:03:23,160 They tricked us again with the third number. 64 00:03:23,197 --> 00:03:24,323 Damn lottery. 65 00:03:24,365 --> 00:03:26,424 l ain't never won Jack Squattery. 66 00:03:27,735 --> 00:03:31,501 ''l ain't won jack a lot from the squattery. 67 00:03:31,538 --> 00:03:34,166 ''The lottery should be the jacksquattery... 68 00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:38,338 '''cause l ain't jack squatting a lot...y.'' 69 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,872 There's more. 70 00:03:40,915 --> 00:03:44,976 ''They should rename the lottery to the jacksquattery... 71 00:03:45,019 --> 00:03:47,351 '''cause that's all l ever win in it.'' 72 00:03:47,388 --> 00:03:48,514 There you go. 73 00:03:48,555 --> 00:03:50,113 Five exclamation points. 74 00:03:50,157 --> 00:03:53,217 Oh, you slap that on a hat and you gonna make you some money. 75 00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:54,522 Make me some money. 76 00:03:54,561 --> 00:03:57,325 - Damn it, l need some money! - Of course you do. 77 00:03:57,364 --> 00:04:01,824 Listen, Early, l'm catching some heat from the State gaming commission. 78 00:04:01,869 --> 00:04:06,829 Apparently they want someone to win the Tricky Two other than me. 79 00:04:06,874 --> 00:04:12,073 So tonight, l want you to cup my balls. 80 00:04:19,186 --> 00:04:23,782 Up to now, Lord, you've had your gigantic sandal foot placed... 81 00:04:23,824 --> 00:04:26,292 on the windpipe of all my dreams. 82 00:04:26,327 --> 00:04:31,162 But even as you try to defeat me, l hatch another idea to defeat you. 83 00:04:31,198 --> 00:04:32,722 Amen. 84 00:04:32,766 --> 00:04:35,030 Or is it? 85 00:04:35,069 --> 00:04:38,561 Listen, play this favorite record backwards, and smash it! 86 00:04:38,605 --> 00:04:40,266 l'll do you. l'll do you hard. 87 00:04:40,307 --> 00:04:43,538 l'll do you till your brains fly out and kiss your soul into the dirt. 88 00:04:43,577 --> 00:04:45,374 l'll rape you like a monster pig in hell. 89 00:04:47,214 --> 00:04:48,841 What... What did you need? 90 00:04:48,882 --> 00:04:52,477 - The Tricky Two jackpot numbers. - No, no, no. 91 00:04:52,519 --> 00:04:55,249 How about l burn your ass like a sweet potato? 92 00:04:55,289 --> 00:04:57,917 - Yeah, OK. - Really? 93 00:04:57,958 --> 00:05:02,759 Oh, well, then, you're gonna steal money from the government by falsifying... 94 00:05:02,796 --> 00:05:04,093 No, that one sucks, wait a minute. 95 00:05:04,131 --> 00:05:06,361 Ah, Satan, come on. Use your A game here. 96 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,458 Cheat on... 97 00:05:07,501 --> 00:05:09,594 Tell her to pee in her neighbor's brain. 98 00:05:09,636 --> 00:05:12,605 - To pee in her neighbor's brain. - To pee in her neighbor's brain! 99 00:05:12,639 --> 00:05:16,973 To pee... To pee in your neighbor's brain! 100 00:05:17,011 --> 00:05:19,571 - Second head butting. - Yes, you nailed it. 101 00:05:19,613 --> 00:05:21,376 - That's it. - No! 102 00:05:21,415 --> 00:05:24,043 Shut up. l double dare you! 103 00:05:24,084 --> 00:05:27,520 l'm a big time potty mouth. Swearing makes me tough. 104 00:05:27,554 --> 00:05:29,852 You're a confused individual. 105 00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:32,085 Granny, Granny! Gather up the family. 106 00:05:32,126 --> 00:05:36,392 This is the night that Early Cuyler detrickulatates The Tricky Two. 107 00:05:36,430 --> 00:05:38,330 Hey, who here killed my favorite snake? 108 00:05:39,233 --> 00:05:43,226 Welcome to tonight's Tricky Two jackpot extravaganza. 109 00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:47,639 And now, yank forth the balls! 110 00:05:47,674 --> 00:05:48,732 Acorn. 111 00:05:48,776 --> 00:05:50,175 Acorn. And? 112 00:05:50,210 --> 00:05:52,906 - Bolt. - Bolt? 113 00:05:52,946 --> 00:05:56,143 So, the two numbers are acorn and bolt, and... 114 00:05:56,183 --> 00:05:57,411 And a fist of pine straw. 115 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,078 And pine straw. 116 00:06:01,121 --> 00:06:03,282 - Pine cone. - Pine cone. 117 00:06:03,323 --> 00:06:05,655 - Here we got a hog nut. - Hog testicle. 118 00:06:05,692 --> 00:06:07,683 - Shell casin'. - Shell casing. 119 00:06:07,728 --> 00:06:09,127 - Eyeball. - Eyeball? 120 00:06:09,163 --> 00:06:10,289 Go, Daddy, go! 121 00:06:10,330 --> 00:06:13,231 - Another shell casin'. - And another shell casing. 122 00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:16,236 And finally, a squirrel skull. 123 00:06:16,270 --> 00:06:18,397 And squirrel skull. 124 00:06:18,439 --> 00:06:19,599 So, tonight's numbers are... 125 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:23,041 Wait a minute, hold on... And this right here. 126 00:06:23,077 --> 00:06:25,944 Partial brain matter. Of course. 127 00:06:25,979 --> 00:06:27,947 So, tonight's numbers are: 128 00:06:27,981 --> 00:06:31,439 Acorn, bolt, pine straw, pine cone, hog testicle... 129 00:06:31,485 --> 00:06:32,952 shell casing, shell casing... 130 00:06:32,986 --> 00:06:36,717 eyeball, and finally squirrel skull with partial brain matter... 131 00:06:36,757 --> 00:06:38,384 sort of still in it. 132 00:06:39,426 --> 00:06:41,223 l am a winner! 133 00:06:41,261 --> 00:06:43,889 l'm gonna get my grandma that operation she needs for a transplant. 134 00:06:43,931 --> 00:06:45,228 Bingo! Bingo! 135 00:06:45,265 --> 00:06:47,233 Bingo, bingo, bingo! 136 00:06:47,267 --> 00:06:48,256 Bingo! Bingo, bingo! 137 00:06:49,803 --> 00:06:52,772 Well, congratulations, Early. 138 00:06:52,806 --> 00:06:55,604 You finally won the lottery. 139 00:06:55,642 --> 00:06:58,042 Shirley Jackson's The Lottery. 140 00:07:02,850 --> 00:07:04,078 He doesn't understand. 141 00:07:04,118 --> 00:07:08,020 Did you... You did take freshman English, didn't you? 142 00:07:08,055 --> 00:07:12,185 But then, you know, it's the short story, the winner gets stoned. 143 00:07:12,226 --> 00:07:15,923 - Too late, chief. - No, we're not... All right. 144 00:07:15,963 --> 00:07:17,021 Everyone, just sit down. 145 00:07:18,565 --> 00:07:21,830 ''The morning of June 27th was clear and sunny... 146 00:07:21,869 --> 00:07:24,702 ''with the fresh warmth of a full summer day... 147 00:07:24,738 --> 00:07:26,933 ''Stone hit her on the side of the head. 148 00:07:26,974 --> 00:07:29,101 ''lt isn't fair! lt isn't right! 149 00:07:29,143 --> 00:07:34,672 ''Mrs. Hutchinson screamed. And then they were upon her.'' 150 00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:39,552 - Early? Your opinion? - When we gonna get high? 151 00:07:39,586 --> 00:07:43,249 - l mean, l won the damn drawing, right? - Oh, you won the drawing. 152 00:07:43,290 --> 00:07:46,054 The drawing and the quartering! 153 00:07:49,496 --> 00:07:51,396 Just lower the check. 154 00:07:51,431 --> 00:07:54,594 See, right here it says that... 155 00:07:54,635 --> 00:07:59,595 ''You will be ripped asunder by the 4,000 horsepower semis... 156 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:04,168 ''of the a-truck-o-lypse. This Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.'' 157 00:08:05,179 --> 00:08:06,168 Standard echo on the... 158 00:08:06,213 --> 00:08:07,805 - Damn. - ...weekday name. 159 00:08:07,848 --> 00:08:09,679 Wake up, Granny. Hey, Granny. 160 00:08:09,716 --> 00:08:11,684 - You won the lottery! - l did? 161 00:08:11,718 --> 00:08:14,482 - Oh, yeah, you done it. - Oh, Early! 162 00:08:14,521 --> 00:08:17,786 You're such a sweet, sweet... 163 00:08:17,824 --> 00:08:18,984 Son of a bitch! 164 00:08:19,026 --> 00:08:20,994 You die in hell! 165 00:08:21,028 --> 00:08:22,757 Hey, darling, how much for your corn dog? 166 00:08:22,796 --> 00:08:26,027 - l thought they threw rocks in the book. - Rocks are boring. 167 00:08:26,066 --> 00:08:27,727 Ladies and gentlemen... 168 00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:31,829 put your pain ponchos on and huddle beneath the plexiglass... 169 00:08:31,872 --> 00:08:35,603 lest your faces be stained with the filthy entrails... 170 00:08:35,642 --> 00:08:40,579 of this profoundly unlucky sesquaceptuiginarian! 171 00:08:41,381 --> 00:08:43,781 % Time, the time will pass % 172 00:08:43,817 --> 00:08:45,114 Super Goliath! 173 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,254 Ultra Goliath! 174 00:08:50,224 --> 00:08:56,720 ln the name of Georgia public schools, tear her to bits! 175 00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:01,324 Look at that! 176 00:09:02,603 --> 00:09:04,366 Look at the violence! 177 00:09:05,706 --> 00:09:07,503 Wait for it... 178 00:09:07,541 --> 00:09:09,668 Still to come... 179 00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:13,373 Any minute now. 180 00:09:13,413 --> 00:09:16,814 Granted the creature is elastic, and l didn't foresee that, but... 181 00:09:16,850 --> 00:09:20,786 - Switch over to the beauty tips, sonny. - There's still the possibility... 182 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:23,756 that you could watch her rip somehow. 183 00:09:24,891 --> 00:09:27,451 Just look at that painted up whore. 184 00:09:27,494 --> 00:09:28,756 Nick her with the scissors. 185 00:09:28,795 --> 00:09:31,491 - Granny's got a little itch on her nose. - Wait, don't go! 186 00:09:31,531 --> 00:09:34,159 Could you just give me a little scratchy scratch? 187 00:09:34,201 --> 00:09:37,193 - Hey, anything could happen here still. - Right here? 188 00:09:37,237 --> 00:09:39,671 - Just a little lower. - Right there? 189 00:09:39,706 --> 00:09:40,730 Little lower. 190 00:09:42,042 --> 00:09:43,202 Just... Just wait. 191 00:09:43,243 --> 00:09:45,302 Wait till... l'll... l'll call the drivers. 192 00:09:45,345 --> 00:09:46,505 Super Goliath! 193 00:09:46,546 --> 00:09:48,446 Have you got your ears on? 194 00:09:48,482 --> 00:09:50,677 Copy here, boss. l-20's a parking lot down here... 195 00:09:50,717 --> 00:09:53,777 got a melon truck jack-knifed at the clover leaf. Over. 196 00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:56,220 Ultra Goliath, where are you now? 197 00:09:56,256 --> 00:09:59,248 Roger that, l'm at the rest area. 198 00:09:59,293 --> 00:10:01,022 Getting my groove on. 199 00:10:02,229 --> 00:10:04,026 Thought we's done with all this. 200 00:10:04,064 --> 00:10:06,862 Oh, forget it. This sucks. 201 00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:09,368 Just a wee hair lower. 202 00:10:09,403 --> 00:10:11,564 Well, l'll go down right here. That's far as l'm goin'. 203 00:10:11,605 --> 00:10:13,630 Oh, that's it. 204 00:10:13,674 --> 00:10:16,370 Yeah, you're good at that, aren't you? 205 00:10:17,244 --> 00:10:18,233 Spank me. 206 00:10:19,746 --> 00:10:22,112 Granny, l ain't goin' no lower, you know it. 207 00:10:24,017 --> 00:10:25,416 Hi, how you doing? 208 00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:28,353 Well, l'm OK. 209 00:10:30,357 --> 00:10:33,815 Hey, listen. You ever see one of these here up close? 210 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:40,000 Subtitles by BloodLogic 211 00:11:04,591 --> 00:11:06,821 And finally, squirrel skull. 212 00:11:06,871 --> 00:11:11,421 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 16245

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