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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,929 % My dreams are all dead and buried % 2 00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:15,803 % Sometimes l wish the sun would just explode % 3 00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:20,937 % When God comes and calls me to His kingdom % 4 00:00:21,749 --> 00:00:25,480 % l'll take all you sons of bitches when l go % 5 00:00:29,156 --> 00:00:30,589 - My turn. - Hell, no. 6 00:00:30,624 --> 00:00:33,787 - Man, let me drive that thing. Come on! - Do not touch the trim! 7 00:00:36,731 --> 00:00:40,633 Early's tenure as CEO of Dan Halen Sheetrock lnternational... 8 00:00:40,668 --> 00:00:44,604 had not been long, but it had been distinguished. 9 00:00:44,638 --> 00:00:49,507 By drunkenness, hair-trigger violence, and a total lack of performance. 10 00:00:49,543 --> 00:00:52,011 l would call it a steady decline in performance... 11 00:00:52,046 --> 00:00:56,346 but that would imply that he performed at one point in time. 12 00:00:56,383 --> 00:00:59,352 ln fact, he had not. He was drunk. 13 00:00:59,386 --> 00:01:03,152 Herd Thinner is the name of the brand. l can't change that. 14 00:01:03,190 --> 00:01:06,318 What would you have me call it? lt's a highly toxic gel. 15 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,349 Hi. 16 00:01:07,394 --> 00:01:10,124 l know it looks like toothpaste. lt's supposed to. 17 00:01:10,164 --> 00:01:12,428 No, l'm saying, ''Wipe, moron.'' 18 00:01:12,466 --> 00:01:13,433 Hold on there. 19 00:01:21,542 --> 00:01:24,807 Well, now, looky here. Hot damn it! lt's the weekend! 20 00:01:24,845 --> 00:01:26,779 - See you Tuesday. - lt is Tuesday. 21 00:01:28,415 --> 00:01:30,440 But in the mountains of North Georgia... 22 00:01:30,484 --> 00:01:35,046 even a CEO's meager salary is not enough to raise a family. 23 00:01:35,089 --> 00:01:39,355 Sometimes people need a second job to make trucks meet. 24 00:01:39,393 --> 00:01:40,860 Toodly do! 25 00:01:41,829 --> 00:01:43,023 Them hippies show up? 26 00:01:43,063 --> 00:01:45,759 They're out back. Why do they come up here every week? 27 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,030 Here you go, boy. l bought you a veggie game. 28 00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:49,126 - You did? - Hell, no. 29 00:01:49,170 --> 00:01:51,536 Wash them trucks. But you leave the boat to me. 30 00:01:51,572 --> 00:01:54,905 Don't you touch that sonbitchin' boat. A boat is not a toy. 31 00:01:54,942 --> 00:01:57,035 Thank you. The boat is mine. 32 00:01:58,712 --> 00:02:00,304 The boat is mine! 33 00:02:00,881 --> 00:02:03,145 Dude, l'm scared. 34 00:02:03,184 --> 00:02:06,676 - l think that thing moved. - Chill, Troy. 35 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:10,053 This guy's cool. Just stay calm. He totally won't shoot. 36 00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:16,791 Gentlemen, Evan, how might l assistify you? 37 00:02:16,831 --> 00:02:21,734 To be of assistification to you? Assistalort hepignate. 38 00:02:21,769 --> 00:02:24,738 We were told, like, by, like, my big brother. 39 00:02:24,772 --> 00:02:31,405 - Bro is like you might be able to, like... - You want to bang yourself a goat? 40 00:02:33,214 --> 00:02:35,876 Because the goat's dead but we can still do this thing. 41 00:02:35,916 --> 00:02:38,680 - l'll give you a deal on it. - He wants to. 42 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,280 No, seriously. We just want to buy weed. 43 00:02:42,323 --> 00:02:45,292 Hell. l got to read my walk-ins better. All right, boys. 44 00:02:45,326 --> 00:02:49,626 You see that smoke over there coming off that bald-headed sonbitch? 45 00:02:49,663 --> 00:02:53,759 That's where you pick the good stuff. Go on. Take your boyfriend with you. 46 00:02:53,801 --> 00:02:57,430 - Would you mind taking a quick survey? - That thing moved. 47 00:02:58,973 --> 00:03:00,668 l thought that was a scarecrow. 48 00:03:00,708 --> 00:03:03,074 No, no. That there is the Research Department. 49 00:03:03,110 --> 00:03:05,601 - Television... - Shut up, Research Department! 50 00:03:06,747 --> 00:03:10,774 - Where am l? - Holy...! ls that a still? 51 00:03:10,818 --> 00:03:13,446 - Troy, shut up, dude, man. - That's all right, Evan. 52 00:03:13,487 --> 00:03:14,545 Troy's a curious one. 53 00:03:14,588 --> 00:03:17,614 Now, allow me to explain the contamination process. 54 00:03:17,658 --> 00:03:20,252 Pine cones go in here... 55 00:03:20,294 --> 00:03:23,627 party liquors come out here and proceed to here. 56 00:03:23,664 --> 00:03:26,758 Fights begin, fingerprints is took, days is lost... 57 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,735 bail is made, court dates are ignored, cycle is repeated. 58 00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:33,866 - Dude, can l get that? - Yeah, go on with it. 59 00:03:33,908 --> 00:03:36,570 This will put some fuzz on your chewing gum. 60 00:03:36,610 --> 00:03:39,101 - Do it, man. - Troy. Stepping up. 61 00:03:39,146 --> 00:03:41,478 - Do it. Do it. Do it, man. - Yeah, come on, boy. 62 00:03:41,515 --> 00:03:43,483 - Drink, drink, drink. - Hit it, son. 63 00:03:45,252 --> 00:03:47,743 Oh, man. l'm blind. 64 00:03:47,788 --> 00:03:50,552 - This is awesome. - Hook me up, then, dude. 65 00:03:50,591 --> 00:03:54,789 - How long can l ride this train? - l'd say about four... ever. 66 00:03:54,828 --> 00:03:55,920 Dude. 67 00:03:55,963 --> 00:03:58,659 Mind yourself, now, or you're gonna wake up next to that. 68 00:03:58,699 --> 00:03:59,961 Hi. 69 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,867 All stuck up together by the dried fluids of amore. 70 00:04:02,903 --> 00:04:04,029 l like butt cheeks. 71 00:04:04,071 --> 00:04:07,632 Yeah. lt's happened to the best of us. A lot. 72 00:04:07,675 --> 00:04:10,735 Dude, we have got to bring some of this back to the house. 73 00:04:10,778 --> 00:04:14,942 - Gordo and Wolfman will go ballistic. - Uh-uh-uh, son. 74 00:04:16,450 --> 00:04:18,714 Did you need money, or... 75 00:04:18,752 --> 00:04:22,085 How about them costly puka beads you're wearing? 76 00:04:22,122 --> 00:04:24,784 - All right. Sweet. - This is awesome! 77 00:04:24,825 --> 00:04:26,952 Touch fists, let's go. Let's put it up. 78 00:04:26,994 --> 00:04:31,897 - Leave me hanging. Touch fists. - l put my fist in the beehive. 79 00:04:31,932 --> 00:04:33,194 - Russell! - Yes'm? 80 00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:35,758 Go ahead and fill up these oil jugs for these boys. 81 00:04:35,803 --> 00:04:36,997 With pine-cone liquor? 82 00:04:37,037 --> 00:04:39,665 - Hell, no. - l'm driving. Where's your dad's car? 83 00:04:39,707 --> 00:04:41,174 Pee pee in them jugs. 84 00:04:42,176 --> 00:04:43,643 Hell! 85 00:04:43,677 --> 00:04:47,238 That's the office. l can't believe l got to go in on a Wednesday. 86 00:04:47,281 --> 00:04:49,875 Them people can't wipe their ass without me. 87 00:05:01,895 --> 00:05:04,955 Howdy doody, Donna? Nice ass this morning. 88 00:05:04,999 --> 00:05:08,162 - Yeah. You wearing panties? - Actually l need to get off here. 89 00:05:08,202 --> 00:05:12,002 Steve, big dog. Here's the pot l've been growing on my property. 90 00:05:12,039 --> 00:05:15,531 See if this don't help with your wife bitching and all that mess. 91 00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:19,808 - Not here, man. - Pine-cone liquor? Nobody? 92 00:05:21,115 --> 00:05:24,642 Well, then, how about a fried possum pecker? 93 00:05:31,658 --> 00:05:33,353 l need to get off here at three. 94 00:05:37,264 --> 00:05:40,062 Don't forget, y'all. Softball Thursday night. 95 00:05:41,035 --> 00:05:44,994 Come on. Work, work. Come on. What is the deal with this? 96 00:05:45,039 --> 00:05:48,770 Step aside, Glen. You got a Error 43 - Replace Toner Cartridge. 97 00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:51,834 Looks like the magenta. 98 00:05:51,879 --> 00:05:53,574 Damn. This is gonna hurt. 99 00:05:58,118 --> 00:05:59,210 Stand clear! 100 00:06:02,089 --> 00:06:03,681 Hurry now. Hurry. 101 00:06:03,724 --> 00:06:08,093 Take out there sexual harassment manual and hit me in my groin. 102 00:06:08,128 --> 00:06:09,618 - You're sure about that? - Hurry. 103 00:06:09,663 --> 00:06:11,858 - Hard? - Faster, damn it. Faster. 104 00:06:11,899 --> 00:06:16,097 - All right, all right. Here. - Don't stop, don't stop! 105 00:06:17,137 --> 00:06:18,434 Now flog my ass. 106 00:06:21,909 --> 00:06:25,504 Now, now you're ... with me. Nice one. 107 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:28,580 See if that sonbitch will fax now. 108 00:06:28,615 --> 00:06:32,107 lt never was able to fax. lt's a coffeemaker. 109 00:06:33,153 --> 00:06:34,916 You dumb ass, you can't fax coffee. 110 00:06:34,955 --> 00:06:38,413 Coffee don't fax worth a damn. Every time the rain hits it, it'll run. 111 00:06:38,459 --> 00:06:40,825 Damn. You're a dumb sonbitch. 112 00:06:40,861 --> 00:06:43,329 - What do you mean, where did l get 'em? - Early. 113 00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:46,389 Some fool left them out. l'd offer you one, but they're mine. 114 00:06:46,433 --> 00:06:51,370 Early, it has come to my attention that during employment hours... 115 00:06:51,405 --> 00:06:55,808 you have been distributing and consuming certain arboreal alcoholic libation. 116 00:06:58,045 --> 00:06:59,774 You know, you've been drinking. 117 00:07:02,349 --> 00:07:04,579 Liquid in your mouth? 118 00:07:06,053 --> 00:07:07,748 - Alcohol? - Sure, l'll have one. 119 00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:11,884 No, you won't. What you will do is answer this question. 120 00:07:11,925 --> 00:07:14,155 How does it taste? 121 00:07:14,194 --> 00:07:17,095 Like the untamed wilditude of nature... 122 00:07:17,131 --> 00:07:20,760 erupting in the space where your brain used to live. 123 00:07:21,435 --> 00:07:22,834 Take a sip, you'll see. 124 00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:27,068 - But not for long. - Let me show you something, Early. 125 00:07:27,107 --> 00:07:29,302 Close your eyes. 126 00:07:29,343 --> 00:07:31,311 Now open them. 127 00:07:31,345 --> 00:07:34,246 Oh, hell! l'm exposed. Nudified. 128 00:07:34,581 --> 00:07:38,017 That's right. l stripped you of your dignity. 129 00:07:38,051 --> 00:07:41,316 What if the rest of the world were as blind as you just were? 130 00:07:41,355 --> 00:07:43,050 l reckon you could take my stuff. 131 00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:45,558 No, no, no. l would never think of doing that. 132 00:07:45,592 --> 00:07:48,755 But you thought of it, so we'll do it. How much of this can we make? 133 00:07:50,998 --> 00:07:52,625 Well, how is it? 134 00:07:54,902 --> 00:07:57,769 Very warm, robust... 135 00:07:57,804 --> 00:08:01,296 with just a buttery high note of all-weather coolant... 136 00:08:01,341 --> 00:08:03,832 and there we go. 137 00:08:03,877 --> 00:08:05,970 Darkness. Wait a minute! 138 00:08:08,715 --> 00:08:11,548 - ls this brake fluid? - Brake fluid? No. Steering. 139 00:08:11,585 --> 00:08:14,486 l said hairspray, sonbitch. What are you? Blind? 140 00:08:14,521 --> 00:08:17,251 - l am blind. - You been drinking the product, ain't you? 141 00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:21,318 - l am so sorry. ls good. - lt's damn good. 142 00:08:21,361 --> 00:08:26,298 But it needs a name. Something sexy, inviting, and sophisticated. 143 00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:27,800 Glug. 144 00:08:27,834 --> 00:08:32,828 Yes! Erupt into a bev-rage this summer with Glug. 145 00:08:32,873 --> 00:08:35,671 That's the slogan. We'll add the word ''dawg'' for the blacks. 146 00:08:35,709 --> 00:08:38,735 They like that word, like they're friends with the product. 147 00:08:41,415 --> 00:08:45,408 And so Dan Halen flooded the market with Early's Glug. 148 00:08:47,187 --> 00:08:50,156 Welcome, y'all. Come on in and get your Glug on. 149 00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:53,489 Leave your money on the counter. l trust you. 150 00:08:53,527 --> 00:08:56,257 And the region was cast in darkness. 151 00:08:56,296 --> 00:08:59,732 Affordable, refreshing, brain-suffocating darkness. 152 00:08:59,766 --> 00:09:02,963 Russell, get the hell in my hands where l can see you. 153 00:09:03,003 --> 00:09:07,235 What did l tell you about drinking underneath the age? 154 00:09:07,274 --> 00:09:10,038 You said if l could afford and bring back enough for you... 155 00:09:10,077 --> 00:09:13,569 you don't care what l do, and it's my body and l can kill it however l want to. 156 00:09:13,614 --> 00:09:16,014 And America's about freedom. 157 00:09:16,049 --> 00:09:19,815 Son, there's every chance in the world l was drunk when l said that? 158 00:09:19,853 --> 00:09:21,582 lt's your welfare l care about. 159 00:09:22,856 --> 00:09:25,484 You know that check? Did that come today? 160 00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:28,323 - l ain't seen the mail. - l knew you been drinking. 161 00:09:28,362 --> 00:09:29,727 Don't hurt me, Rusty! 162 00:09:29,763 --> 00:09:32,231 - Get back here. - ls that Rusty? 163 00:09:34,001 --> 00:09:36,765 - Get your Glug on. - Get the stuff. 164 00:09:36,803 --> 00:09:39,533 Cash your Glug points for hats, coolers... 165 00:09:39,573 --> 00:09:42,201 canes, seeing-eye dogs, books on tape. 166 00:09:42,242 --> 00:09:46,269 The audio phone book, A-L, as read by Dan Halen. 167 00:09:46,313 --> 00:09:50,443 Chapter one. Residents. Abarado, Thomas C. 168 00:09:50,484 --> 00:09:56,787 Klondike, 58272 area code 678-555-011 2. 169 00:09:56,823 --> 00:10:00,054 Entry number two, Avarao, Janine. 170 00:10:00,093 --> 00:10:04,257 Highway 172, 678-555... 171 00:10:04,298 --> 00:10:08,098 And a Glug grand prize for a trip for two to Hawaii. 172 00:10:08,135 --> 00:10:10,763 That's right. You can't see it, but you'll buy it. 173 00:10:10,804 --> 00:10:12,237 Yeah, you'll buy anything! 174 00:10:12,272 --> 00:10:14,706 Let's go ahead and cut that last line. 175 00:10:14,741 --> 00:10:17,608 And make sure my leggings are pressed. 176 00:10:17,644 --> 00:10:22,513 For tomorrow, all those that mocked me will feel my wrath. 177 00:10:37,264 --> 00:10:38,595 How was that? 178 00:10:39,733 --> 00:10:42,258 - Was that a strike? - lt's still in your hand! 179 00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:48,003 Go on, mate. Hurl the sphere, and l will shock the world. 180 00:10:54,581 --> 00:10:57,641 - Did l strike him out again? - Ball Four. 181 00:10:57,684 --> 00:11:02,280 Yes. Rack another one up for the walk master. 182 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:10,000 Subtitles by BloodLogic 183 00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:14,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 15148

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