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1
00:00:01,431 --> 00:00:03,231
FRANK: Charlie,can I come in already?
2
00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:04,666
CHARLIE:
Well, that depends, Frank.
3
00:00:04,734 --> 00:00:06,367
Are you done farting?
FRANK: No.
4
00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:08,536
Well, then you're gonna keep
hanging your ass out the window
5
00:00:08,605 --> 00:00:09,320
till you're done, all right?
6
00:00:09,406 --> 00:00:11,306
Look, I-I warned you.
7
00:00:11,358 --> 00:00:12,740
You want to put slices of rum
ham on a Grilled Charlie?
8
00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:13,708
That's a stomach "bomba."
9
00:00:13,794 --> 00:00:14,809
It's too much for your system.
10
00:00:14,878 --> 00:00:16,411
Then make me another one.
11
00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:18,213
If I'm gonna stick my ass out
the window, I'm gonna eat.
12
00:00:18,265 --> 00:00:20,228
Unbelievable. Alright, here we go.
13
00:00:20,348 --> 00:00:21,947
I feel like it's gonna be a week
14
00:00:22,016 --> 00:00:23,165
before your system
gets back to normal.
15
00:00:23,251 --> 00:00:24,250
Y-You can't just eat
16
00:00:24,318 --> 00:00:25,518
whatever you...
Charlie...
17
00:00:25,553 --> 00:00:27,152
(crashing, shattering)
18
00:00:27,221 --> 00:00:28,787
Holy shit!
19
00:00:28,856 --> 00:00:30,437
Are you okay?!
20
00:00:31,492 --> 00:00:33,726
Frank?!
21
00:00:33,794 --> 00:00:34,894
Hey, are you all right?
22
00:00:34,929 --> 00:00:36,529
(groans)
23
00:00:36,614 --> 00:00:38,464
(echoing):
Hey! Are you okay?
24
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,032
(groans)
25
00:00:40,101 --> 00:00:41,567
(echoing):
Are you all right, man?
26
00:00:41,636 --> 00:00:43,502
Frank!
27
00:00:43,571 --> 00:00:45,004
Where are you going?!
28
00:00:55,304 --> 00:01:05,471
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
29
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,184
MAC: I'm the one that came upwith the chickens
30
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,602
to contaminate the steaks.
31
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,520
I was the first one
to say that, right?
32
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:14,072
I-I don't think so, no.
33
00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,107
I don't think so.
You t... Are you serious?
34
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:17,942
No, I remember being on the phone and...
Yeah, being totally serious.
35
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:20,495
Dennis, Deandra!
36
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,946
Yeah.
What?
37
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,248
No, I-I... I-I feel
like I came up with it.
38
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:24,582
It's me!
39
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:25,650
What, do you want
a goddamn medal?
40
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,185
Yeah, get out of here, Frank.
41
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,620
We're right in the middle
of something very important.
42
00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:30,255
I was on the phone;
I came up with it.
43
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:31,439
What are you talking about?
That never happened...
44
00:01:31,524 --> 00:01:33,258
Your mother's dead.
45
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:34,893
I thought I was the one that...
Yeah, we know she's dead.
46
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:37,081
I think I was the one
that told you to make that call.
47
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,529
I-I was just kidding.
48
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:41,691
Uh, your mother's
not really dead.
49
00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:44,709
Uh, I dropped that bomb
to soften the blow.
50
00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:46,738
We're getting divorced.
51
00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:47,972
Wh-What's happening?
52
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:48,806
Are you doing a bit, Frank?
53
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:49,807
It's not funny.
54
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:50,725
(overlapping chatter)
55
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,193
Hey! Hey!
56
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,279
Oh, shit, man, are you okay?
57
00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:55,380
And who might you be?
58
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:56,614
Wh-What?!
59
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,049
Uh-oh,
he's finally lost it.
60
00:01:58,101 --> 00:01:59,222
Should we toss him in a home?
61
00:01:59,236 --> 00:02:00,018
Yep.
I-I'll get the car.
62
00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:01,085
N-N-No, guys, guys.
63
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:02,520
Frank fell out my window.
64
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,289
We had our, like,
fire escape taken off,
65
00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:06,324
and, dude, you, like, must
have hit your head real hard.
66
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:09,127
(scoffs) Look, you seem
like a really nice kid.
67
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:11,529
But my head is fine.
68
00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:12,914
Oh, my God. (gasps) Oh, shit.
69
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,215
MAC:
Oh, my God.
70
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,134
Oh, it's his skull!
71
00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:17,302
CHARLIE:
Uh, okay, Frank.
72
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:19,337
Um, what day is it?
Wednesday.
73
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:20,972
Yes.
Wrong, it's Tuesday.
74
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:22,941
Is it? Actually, no,
it's-it's Wednesday.
75
00:02:22,993 --> 00:02:24,676
He's right. I...
Did I lose a day?
76
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:26,577
Yeah. Okay, you know what?
I got one.
77
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,930
Um, what is the capital of Pennsylvania?
Philadelphia.
78
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:30,548
Yes. No. I don't
think that's right.
79
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:31,983
Uh, is it Pittsburgh?
80
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,718
Uh, at one point, it was Philly.
81
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,286
I'm pretty sure. I don't
think they change it.
82
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,956
MAC: All right, let's just,
let's ask something easier.
83
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:39,625
Who's the president
of the United States?
84
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:40,758
George Bush.
85
00:02:42,012 --> 00:02:43,778
Nah, I was just kidding.
86
00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:46,130
The real president of the United
States is Dick Cheney.
87
00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:47,865
He's pulling all the strings.
88
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,735
Ah, shit, Frank, what year
do you think it is?
89
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:51,502
2006.
90
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:56,274
Oh, man. Whoa. Well, okay, so
something clearly happened to Frank
91
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,042
when he fell out of that window.
92
00:02:58,094 --> 00:02:59,944
I think what happened is
he went through the window,
93
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:04,315
and the window seemed to be some
sort of portal to the year 2006.
94
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:05,416
He has a concussion.
95
00:03:05,468 --> 00:03:06,884
It's not 2006.
96
00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:09,120
It's crazy, but stranger
things have happened.
97
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:10,621
No, they haven't. No, they haven't.
DENNIS: A-A-All right.
98
00:03:10,674 --> 00:03:12,357
Guys, guys, guys.
99
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,125
You remember ten years ago
when Frank first came back,
100
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,860
and he wanted to, like, give
all his money away to charity
101
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,395
and reconnect
with his kids and shit?
102
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:18,863
Right, then he started hanging
out with Mac and Charlie,
103
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,031
got a taste of the bar lifestyle
104
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,661
and decided he'd rather
live in squalor.
105
00:03:21,685 --> 00:03:25,486
Guys, we have an opportunity
to change history.
106
00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:27,922
Are you talking about taking all
his money and kicking him out?
107
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:30,058
Of course that's what I'm talking about.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to do that.
108
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,442
I-I want to do that. I'm in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
109
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:32,510
We got to come up
with a plan here.
110
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:33,911
What if Charlie and I take Frank
111
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,214
to the strip club like before,
112
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:37,915
so he keeps thinking it's 2006?
113
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,717
We can't repeat the same
mistakes of the past.
114
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:40,985
'Cause that might
trigger his memories.
115
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,253
In fact, keep Charlie
away from Frank.
116
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,322
I mean, he's drawn to him
117
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,288
for some inexplicable reason.
118
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:45,723
Dee, here's what we'll do.
119
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,208
You and I will
actually reconnect
120
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,027
with Frank this time
instead of rejecting him.
121
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,578
Okay, we just got to figure out
a way to get him
122
00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:51,529
to write us
a check for that money.
123
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:52,719
You know what we could do is
124
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:53,865
we could do like
a Wyclef Jean thing
125
00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:55,299
and create a charity for Haiti
126
00:03:55,368 --> 00:03:56,934
and then allegedly keep
all the money for ourselves.
127
00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:58,786
By the time he figures out
what the hell's going on...
128
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,522
♪ We'll be gone till November,
we'll be gone till November ♪
129
00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:03,574
DEE AND DENNIS: ♪ And tell my
baby I'll be gone till November ♪
130
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,376
(mumbling lyrics)
131
00:04:05,428 --> 00:04:07,111
DEE, DENNIS AND MAC:
♪ February, March, April, May ♪
132
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,414
♪ June, July, August,
September... ♪
133
00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:11,282
You don't know the song.
You don't know the song.
134
00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:12,717
There was a good bounce to it.
135
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,519
All right, well, either
way, let's do that.
136
00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:18,923
(sighs)
137
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,291
Guigino's.
138
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,225
DEE:
Mm-hmm.
139
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:22,560
That's a nice place.
140
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:23,594
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
141
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,396
Fresh fish daily.
142
00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:29,801
How do you not have fish?
143
00:04:29,886 --> 00:04:31,602
Two can play at that game.
144
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:32,970
Banging your sister
is perverted.
145
00:04:35,058 --> 00:04:36,441
We ever been here before?
146
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:37,442
No.
147
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:38,743
No, no...
148
00:04:38,795 --> 00:04:39,710
So, so, so...
149
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,079
Catch me up.
150
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:42,180
How's life?
151
00:04:42,232 --> 00:04:43,581
Uh, life's good, man.
152
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:44,982
Things have been,
uh, pretty good.
153
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,017
I'm still working towards
becoming a veterinarian.
154
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:46,968
Of course.
Mm-hmm.
155
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:48,319
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
156
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,587
And I'm still working
toward my dreams
157
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,355
of becoming a Broadway star.
158
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:54,492
Getting close but just haven't
quite found my traction.
159
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:55,801
Right.
FRANK: Mmm, that's okay.
160
00:04:55,845 --> 00:04:57,061
You got time.
DEE: Yeah.
161
00:04:57,147 --> 00:04:58,463
Youse are young.
162
00:04:58,531 --> 00:05:00,298
You're what, 25, 26?
163
00:05:00,350 --> 00:05:02,100
Yeah.
164
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:04,235
Eh, give it a few more years.
165
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,838
If it doesn't work out, you move on.
(chuckles) Mm-hmm.
166
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:09,407
I mean, y-you don't want to be
almost 40 working at a bar.
167
00:05:09,459 --> 00:05:10,541
Right.
Nope.
168
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:11,809
No way.
169
00:05:11,861 --> 00:05:13,744
I know that I've
been a lousy dad,
170
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:15,598
but there's only one
person to blame for that:
171
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,215
your whore mother.
172
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,566
Mmm. I don't like who
she turned me into.
173
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,786
The big house, the big car.
174
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,088
I'm giving it all away.
175
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,556
To charity.
176
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:29,393
Well, that is a great idea.
177
00:05:29,446 --> 00:05:31,287
I thought you'd give me
a lot of shit for that.
178
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,030
Oh, no. Man, who do
you think we are?
179
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:35,533
Oh, my gosh. No, we are super
into helping people in need
180
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:37,018
and poor people and...
Yeah. Y-Y-Yeah, y-yeah.
181
00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,237
Dennis and I, we
work very closely
182
00:05:39,305 --> 00:05:40,438
with a charity that,
uh, that offers relief
183
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,806
for the Haiti disaster.
184
00:05:41,858 --> 00:05:43,591
There was a disaster in Haiti?
185
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,409
(stammering): Oh, oh, had
that not, had that had not...
186
00:05:45,495 --> 00:05:47,261
to d... was it...?
187
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,530
Yeah, I-I just got to look a
quick thing up on my phone if...
188
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:50,715
DENNIS:
Um, s... Dad, uh...
189
00:05:50,783 --> 00:05:51,716
Whoa, wh-wh-wh-wh-whoa.
190
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:52,750
What's that?
191
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:54,252
What is that?
My phone?
192
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,653
That's a phone?!
193
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,421
I've never seen anything
like it in my life.
194
00:05:57,490 --> 00:06:00,925
That's because...
I invented it.
195
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:01,926
You invented that?
196
00:06:01,978 --> 00:06:02,927
Yep.
197
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,028
That is genius.
198
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,813
Yeah, isn't it?
199
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,082
Dennis, I always thought you'd
be the one to move out in front.
200
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,467
No, it was her,
but it was her after me,
201
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,369
because, um, she actually
came up with that
202
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,437
after I had already
invented this.
203
00:06:13,490 --> 00:06:15,756
You invented that?
204
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,708
Yeah, I invented this first,
and then she copied me.
205
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:19,010
Well, you know what
I did? I upgraded it.
206
00:06:19,078 --> 00:06:20,378
I made it better.
Oh.
207
00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:21,879
And I was worried
that you were gonna
208
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,766
spend the rest of your
lives in that crap bar.
209
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:25,082
(all laugh)
210
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,568
No, we're killing it.
211
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:28,619
Well, here's to your futures.
212
00:06:28,671 --> 00:06:30,388
Hey, all right.
213
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:31,522
(laughs)
214
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,008
(laughing):
Oh, Dee, you bitch.
215
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,665
This is great, Charlie.
216
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:43,851
I am going to show you what life
could be like without Frank.
217
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:46,587
Yeah, except the first time
we came here with Frank,
218
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,306
we brought home two
strippers, so...
219
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:49,490
Yeah, but he banged
both of them.
220
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:50,975
Uh, true, yeah.
221
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,143
This time,
you and I are gonna be
222
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:53,578
the ones that bang
the strippers.
223
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:55,286
Right. Well, why do
you want to bang them?
224
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:56,914
Oh.
225
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,849
'Cause it's 2006, and
you're still into women.
226
00:06:58,885 --> 00:06:59,817
(chuckles)
Crazy.
227
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:02,286
Huh?
You're not...
228
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,455
You haven't become... Just drop
it, just drop it, just drop it.
229
00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:06,857
Yeah, I-I'll drop it.
Hey!
230
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,759
Frankie, what's up, man? Wait, wait,
wait, wait. What are you doing here?
231
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:10,228
I thought you were out
with your kids.
232
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,779
You mind if I sit down?
Yeah, absolutely not.
233
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:13,097
Pop a squat, Frankie.
234
00:07:13,149 --> 00:07:14,098
Goddamn it, I-I...
235
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,900
Oh, my God.
236
00:07:15,985 --> 00:07:17,368
You poor baby.
237
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,636
What happened to your head?
238
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,054
Ooh.
239
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:21,405
Eh, it's nothing--
just a little scratch.
240
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:22,807
STRIPPER:
No, it looks infected.
241
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,208
FRANK:
It does?
242
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,010
Maybe give you a lap dance?
243
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,548
(laughing, chattering)
244
00:07:30,633 --> 00:07:32,383
Whoa.
245
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,919
Make yourself at home--
welcome to mi casa.
246
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,488
You got any booze? Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah-- in the bed, under the pillow.
247
00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:38,422
Oh, oh.
Oh, gosh.
248
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,424
I love it, it's so spacious.
249
00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:42,026
It's one goddamn room.
250
00:07:42,078 --> 00:07:43,995
You have a steak knife
in your bed.
251
00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:45,663
Oh, well, that's Frank's, uh...
252
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,399
Um, that is my toe knife.
253
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,533
It's your what?
254
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:51,302
Uh, that's my
t-toe knife.
255
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:54,005
For, you know, digging
the scum out of my toes...
256
00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:56,274
It's disgusting, disgusting.
and cutting my nails off.
257
00:07:56,326 --> 00:07:58,242
Y-You cut your toenails
with a knife?
258
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,610
Yeah. Well, yeah.
He does.
259
00:07:59,662 --> 00:08:00,478
I mean, it's, uh...
Gross.
260
00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:01,729
a cleaner cut, really.
261
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,616
...scum out of my toenail.
262
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,218
Oh, botched toe.
263
00:08:07,303 --> 00:08:08,552
That is disgusting.
264
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:10,788
FRANK (echoing):
Toe knife.
265
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:12,740
Maybe I ought to try that.
266
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,909
I don't think you should;
can I talk to you outside
267
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,560
for a second? Just one second. Thank you.
All right, all right.
268
00:08:16,613 --> 00:08:18,829
Man. Dude, we have to stop
what's going on in there.
269
00:08:18,881 --> 00:08:20,601
Why? We're about to bang
a couple strippers.
270
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:21,916
Don't you see?
We're making the same mistakes
271
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,134
that we made
with Frank years ago.
272
00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:24,535
Don't you understand?
273
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,437
He is on a bang path
straight to the waitress.
274
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,739
Oh, shit. All right,
definitely want to avoid that.
275
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:29,848
All right, let's pull him.
276
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,126
Okay, yeah.
Let's pull him out.
277
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:34,145
He locked us out.
278
00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:35,446
He did?!
Yes.
279
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,764
So it is 2006.
280
00:08:40,884 --> 00:08:42,117
DEE AND DENNIS:
♪ I'll be gone till November ♪
281
00:08:42,152 --> 00:08:43,585
♪ I'll be gone till November ♪
282
00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:45,863
♪ Yo, tell my girl
I'll be gone till November ♪
283
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,917
You know what,
say what you want about Wyclef,
284
00:08:47,952 --> 00:08:49,835
he may have stolen money
from his own people,
285
00:08:49,921 --> 00:08:51,687
but that man can write a goddamn song.
Oh, nice.
286
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:53,022
Right?
He's an excellent songwriter.
287
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,074
And that is an excellent song.
288
00:08:55,194 --> 00:08:56,627
Mm-hmm.
But, Dee, Dee, look.
289
00:08:56,696 --> 00:08:58,178
I want to talk to you
about something, okay?
290
00:08:58,264 --> 00:09:00,164
We have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity here.
Yes.
291
00:09:00,199 --> 00:09:02,066
We have a real second chance.
I know.
292
00:09:02,134 --> 00:09:03,918
S-So I want to talk to you about our future.
Yes.
293
00:09:04,003 --> 00:09:05,686
Should we get into it?
Yes.
294
00:09:05,771 --> 00:09:06,704
All right, here, sit down for a second.
Okay.
295
00:09:06,772 --> 00:09:08,322
'Cause in order to do that,
296
00:09:08,407 --> 00:09:09,707
I think we're gonna have to get real.
Okay.
297
00:09:09,759 --> 00:09:11,942
And I want to get very
real with you right now.
298
00:09:12,011 --> 00:09:13,744
- Yeah, go ahead. - Can I do that?
Because I feel like I'm almost coddling you.
299
00:09:13,813 --> 00:09:15,946
Interesting.
But that's neither here nor there.
300
00:09:16,015 --> 00:09:18,048
I just want to get real with you f-for a second, okay?
Yeah, go ahead.
301
00:09:18,117 --> 00:09:19,116
So the acting thing.
302
00:09:19,168 --> 00:09:20,317
Mm-hmm.
It's done.
303
00:09:20,386 --> 00:09:22,419
But it's been done
for a long time.
304
00:09:22,455 --> 00:09:24,221
I mean, you were
too old in 2006.
305
00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:25,789
You're way too old now.
306
00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:28,092
And you're bad at it.
307
00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:33,030
Thank you.
308
00:09:33,099 --> 00:09:34,900
For your honesty. Yeah, is it...
are you cool?
309
00:09:34,917 --> 00:09:37,234
Oh, so much do I appreciate you for that.
Thank you.
310
00:09:37,303 --> 00:09:38,502
Okay, good. That must
have been hard for you.
311
00:09:38,571 --> 00:09:39,720
It was.
To say.
312
00:09:39,805 --> 00:09:41,705
Can I be honest with you?
I-I need you to.
313
00:09:41,774 --> 00:09:43,073
Right?
Right.
314
00:09:43,142 --> 00:09:45,242
Okay, so the veterinarian thing.
Yeah.
315
00:09:45,311 --> 00:09:47,911
I feel like the only reason
you wanted to be a vet
316
00:09:47,980 --> 00:09:49,613
was to keep the skins.
317
00:09:49,682 --> 00:09:51,649
What?
318
00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,197
You want to keep
the skins, don't you?
319
00:09:53,219 --> 00:09:56,020
There's no denying the
skins are fascinating.
320
00:09:56,088 --> 00:09:57,848
It's the most fascinating
part of the animal.
321
00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,623
The skin of any animal is
the most fascinating part,
322
00:09:59,692 --> 00:10:00,958
Mmm... but that's not why
I wanted to become...
323
00:10:01,043 --> 00:10:03,360
Also you're going bald.
I'm going bald?!
324
00:10:03,396 --> 00:10:05,629
What are you talking about?! Just in...
in the interest of being real.
325
00:10:05,665 --> 00:10:08,332
Where in the hell am I possibly going bald?
In the back of your head...
326
00:10:08,401 --> 00:10:09,633
There's no evidence of that.
There's quite a bit of ev...
327
00:10:09,702 --> 00:10:11,468
I'll get two mirrors;
I'll show it to you.
328
00:10:11,537 --> 00:10:13,237
Don't get mirrors, because...
You're not gonna find anything.
329
00:10:13,289 --> 00:10:14,672
I see fat spilling
over the back of your pants
330
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:15,973
on a pretty regular basis.
(stammers)
331
00:10:16,025 --> 00:10:17,024
What the hell are
you talking about?!
332
00:10:17,109 --> 00:10:18,709
I'm just trying to let you know.
333
00:10:18,761 --> 00:10:20,060
And by the way,
there's no reason
334
00:10:20,146 --> 00:10:21,612
why a bald man who enjoys skins
335
00:10:21,647 --> 00:10:23,180
who has a little bit of
extra something-something
336
00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:24,815
around his belly can't be
a goddamn veterinarian!
337
00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:26,834
Okay, you know what, I can act!
You are a wrinkled bitch!
338
00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:28,385
I'm gonna tell you something,
my characters are good.
339
00:10:28,454 --> 00:10:29,653
Okay, let's stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop.
340
00:10:29,689 --> 00:10:31,789
I-I don't want to do
this with you, okay?
341
00:10:31,857 --> 00:10:33,323
Do you see what's
happening? We're...
342
00:10:33,392 --> 00:10:35,325
We just jumped right back in;
we just leapt right back in.
343
00:10:35,361 --> 00:10:36,660
Into our old routines.
Same old place.
344
00:10:36,729 --> 00:10:37,728
And I-I don't want
to do that, okay?
345
00:10:37,797 --> 00:10:39,713
'Cause... Let's
just focus here.
346
00:10:39,799 --> 00:10:41,398
Here's what we're gonna do.
347
00:10:41,467 --> 00:10:42,866
We're gonna polish off this wine.
Yeah.
348
00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:44,351
And then we're gonna open
up a new bottle of vino.
349
00:10:44,437 --> 00:10:45,669
Ooh.
(chuckles)
350
00:10:45,738 --> 00:10:47,638
And let's talk about
our real futures.
351
00:10:47,707 --> 00:10:48,839
♪ I'll be gone
till November... ♪
352
00:10:48,908 --> 00:10:50,941
To new beginnings.
353
00:10:51,010 --> 00:10:52,609
♪ And tell my girl, yo,
I'll be gone till... ♪
354
00:10:52,661 --> 00:10:54,044
(alarm rings)
355
00:10:59,585 --> 00:11:01,402
(groans)
356
00:11:01,487 --> 00:11:03,754
Dennis.
357
00:11:03,823 --> 00:11:05,489
Dennis, wake up.
358
00:11:05,558 --> 00:11:06,473
Aah.
359
00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:08,459
(groans)
360
00:11:08,527 --> 00:11:11,161
I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.
361
00:11:11,197 --> 00:11:13,063
Look what we did.
362
00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:14,932
(groans)
363
00:11:17,787 --> 00:11:19,136
Is that a crack pipe?
364
00:11:19,205 --> 00:11:20,404
Yes.
365
00:11:20,473 --> 00:11:21,572
No, no.
(groaning): No.
366
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,891
No, no, no.
367
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:26,643
How'd this happen again?
368
00:11:26,712 --> 00:11:28,479
(groans)
369
00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:31,448
Well, it looks like we drank
everything in the entire world,
370
00:11:31,517 --> 00:11:34,251
and then we went out
and bought some crack,
371
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:35,285
and we smoked it.
372
00:11:35,371 --> 00:11:36,687
Yeah, a-a-all right,
that's fine.
373
00:11:36,756 --> 00:11:38,956
No, n-no, we just,
we... we slipped up.
374
00:11:39,024 --> 00:11:40,124
It's-it's not a big deal.
375
00:11:40,192 --> 00:11:41,225
Like, we'll...
you know,
376
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:42,993
we'll... pull
ourselves together,
377
00:11:43,028 --> 00:11:44,294
and we'll, you know,
we'll get back on crack.
378
00:11:44,363 --> 00:11:46,296
I mean, on track.
379
00:11:46,365 --> 00:11:48,632
Unless, um, you have more crack.
380
00:11:48,701 --> 00:11:50,000
No, Dennis, I don't
have more crack.
381
00:11:50,086 --> 00:11:51,435
No one in the history of crack
382
00:11:51,487 --> 00:11:53,137
has ever woken up in the
morning with more crack.
383
00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:55,472
(sighs) Okay, but if I'm
being honest with you,
384
00:11:55,541 --> 00:11:57,775
if I'm being very, very real,
385
00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:59,843
I need to be high
on crack cocaine right now.
386
00:11:59,912 --> 00:12:01,445
You know what we can do?
I've got a great idea.
387
00:12:01,514 --> 00:12:02,696
Once we get Frank's money,
388
00:12:02,782 --> 00:12:03,847
we'll just take
all of that money
389
00:12:03,916 --> 00:12:05,315
and put ourselves in rehab,
390
00:12:05,384 --> 00:12:06,250
'cause we're not gonna
stop smoking crack.
391
00:12:06,318 --> 00:12:07,718
It's all I'm thinking about.
392
00:12:07,787 --> 00:12:09,019
All right, so we just
got to figure out
393
00:12:09,071 --> 00:12:09,870
another way to get some money.
394
00:12:09,955 --> 00:12:12,222
I have a idea.
395
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:16,293
Hi.
396
00:12:16,362 --> 00:12:18,028
I'm a recovering crackhead,
397
00:12:18,097 --> 00:12:20,447
and this is my donkey-brained
sister that I take care of.
398
00:12:20,533 --> 00:12:21,999
(hums)
399
00:12:22,051 --> 00:12:23,211
I'd like some welfare, please.
400
00:12:23,219 --> 00:12:25,035
You're a recovering
crack addict,
401
00:12:25,104 --> 00:12:27,871
and your sister has...
402
00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:29,623
the brains of a donkey?
403
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,809
Mmm.
404
00:12:31,894 --> 00:12:33,660
We thought that you might
be a little bit skeptical,
405
00:12:33,746 --> 00:12:34,628
so we brought proof.
406
00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:35,879
Dee?
407
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:44,655
Well, you clearly replaced the
name Frank with the name Dee,
408
00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:48,308
and you crossed out the word
"not" on this document.
409
00:12:48,394 --> 00:12:51,361
Nevertheless, I do not know
what the hell this document is.
410
00:12:51,413 --> 00:12:53,514
Well, that's... that's an
official State's, uh...
411
00:12:53,599 --> 00:12:55,065
I'm gonna go ahead and stop you.
412
00:12:55,117 --> 00:12:57,000
None of this matters to me.
413
00:12:57,086 --> 00:12:58,936
So I don't need
the whole song and dance.
414
00:12:58,988 --> 00:13:02,756
If you want welfare...
415
00:13:02,842 --> 00:13:05,509
you'll just have to fill out
a bunch of this paperwork,
416
00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:07,678
'cause I'm done
with this bullshit.
417
00:13:08,731 --> 00:13:10,013
This is good news.
418
00:13:10,099 --> 00:13:11,715
This is great, isn't it?
Oh, yeah.
419
00:13:11,784 --> 00:13:12,950
I mean, times have really changed.
They have, I know.
420
00:13:13,018 --> 00:13:14,551
You just fill out
the paperwork now.
421
00:13:14,637 --> 00:13:16,620
You don't have to prove
anything, you know what I mean?
422
00:13:16,655 --> 00:13:18,722
You just get the money now. Obama
just gives you the money; it's great.
423
00:13:18,791 --> 00:13:20,224
There's a lot of paperwork to fill out,
though. Yeah, could you write faster?
424
00:13:20,309 --> 00:13:21,491
I need some more crack.
425
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:22,693
I'm starting to come
down pretty hard.
426
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,011
Okay, listen, Dee,
427
00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:25,095
I'm writing as fast
as I can, okay?
428
00:13:25,164 --> 00:13:26,997
I-I also want crack.
Sorry.
429
00:13:27,032 --> 00:13:28,916
I don't get why we're coming
here to find a roommate.
430
00:13:29,001 --> 00:13:30,701
You know, what about living
with the waitress, too?
431
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,069
The waitress is not going
to live with you.
432
00:13:32,137 --> 00:13:33,637
This is our only option, okay?
433
00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:35,639
People in the welfare store
are in a pinch, so are you.
434
00:13:35,708 --> 00:13:36,506
Yeah, that's a good point.
435
00:13:36,575 --> 00:13:37,608
Uh...
436
00:13:37,676 --> 00:13:38,542
Wait.
437
00:13:38,611 --> 00:13:39,532
Is that Dennis and Dee?
438
00:13:39,578 --> 00:13:40,994
Hi.
439
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,346
Hey, guys.
440
00:13:42,431 --> 00:13:44,047
Wh-What are you
doing here?
441
00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:45,082
Yeah, did you get Frank
to write the check?
442
00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:46,516
Dude, we're well on our way.
443
00:13:46,585 --> 00:13:48,051
(chuckles)
Yeah, but in the meantime,
444
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,586
we came here because we need
some money to buy crack.
445
00:13:49,655 --> 00:13:50,787
You guys
are smoking crack again?
446
00:13:50,856 --> 00:13:52,005
It's not a big deal,
because, uh,
447
00:13:52,091 --> 00:13:53,557
as soon as we get
that check from Frank,
448
00:13:53,642 --> 00:13:54,708
we're just gonna zip right off
to a-a rehab program.
449
00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:55,826
Yeah, we'll get in rehab.
450
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,227
You guys are back on crack,
451
00:13:57,296 --> 00:13:59,129
Frank brought strippers
back to my place,
452
00:13:59,198 --> 00:14:00,931
we're all bumping into each
other at the welfare store,
453
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,033
and yet I'm the only person
who thinks it's 2006.
454
00:14:03,102 --> 00:14:04,418
♪ You, you got what I need... ♪
455
00:14:04,503 --> 00:14:06,136
Oh...
What?
456
00:14:06,171 --> 00:14:07,604
It's him!
It's him, everyone, shut up.
457
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,773
Oh, it's Frank, shut up!
Okay? Shh.
458
00:14:09,842 --> 00:14:11,525
Hey, Frank. Daddy.
459
00:14:11,610 --> 00:14:13,510
Daddy. Yeah. Hi, how are you?
460
00:14:13,579 --> 00:14:15,479
What's up?
461
00:14:15,547 --> 00:14:16,847
No shit.
462
00:14:16,916 --> 00:14:18,248
No shit!
463
00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:19,766
Yes, we will be there
in just a few minutes.
464
00:14:19,852 --> 00:14:21,702
Okay, bye!
What is it, what do you...
465
00:14:21,787 --> 00:14:22,868
Oh, shit, great news, guys.
466
00:14:22,922 --> 00:14:24,054
Great news.
No problem with the check.
467
00:14:24,123 --> 00:14:25,255
We just gotta meet
with his money man
468
00:14:25,324 --> 00:14:26,456
and he's just gonna
write it to us.
469
00:14:26,508 --> 00:14:27,988
Big fat check for us.
Oh, my God, yes.
470
00:14:28,043 --> 00:14:29,293
We're going to see money man.
Get rid of that!
471
00:14:29,345 --> 00:14:30,761
All right.
Let's go get some crack.
472
00:14:30,846 --> 00:14:32,112
Yeah. I mean the check.
We're gonna...
473
00:14:32,197 --> 00:14:33,497
Right, yeah.
Get some crack.
474
00:14:33,599 --> 00:14:34,798
(exhales)
475
00:14:34,867 --> 00:14:36,066
Still need a roommate, right?
476
00:14:36,135 --> 00:14:37,367
Yeah, what about this guy?
477
00:14:37,436 --> 00:14:38,769
Oh, come on, man.
478
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,387
Don't just do that, you know?
479
00:14:40,472 --> 00:14:41,755
Knew you were gonna do that.
480
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,800
Anyone else.
Look at him.
481
00:14:44,869 --> 00:14:45,853
WOMAN:
Mr. Reynolds.
482
00:14:45,973 --> 00:14:47,770
Lauren Kerwin.
We spoke earlier.
483
00:14:47,838 --> 00:14:50,522
Hello, toots.
484
00:14:50,608 --> 00:14:52,091
Hello.
(Frank cackles)
485
00:14:52,176 --> 00:14:54,009
Yeah, so where's
Jer-Bear?
486
00:14:54,078 --> 00:14:56,011
Mr. Doran?
487
00:14:57,315 --> 00:14:58,814
Oh, um...
488
00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:00,549
he-he passed away.
489
00:15:00,618 --> 00:15:03,786
(laughing)
490
00:15:04,989 --> 00:15:06,121
He passed...
491
00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:07,590
Jerry!
492
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:09,825
Jerry, come on in here,
don't give me that.
493
00:15:09,894 --> 00:15:11,710
Don't make your secretary
pull that bit on us.
494
00:15:11,796 --> 00:15:13,262
Come on, Jerry.
495
00:15:13,331 --> 00:15:14,663
Um, I'm not his secretary
496
00:15:14,732 --> 00:15:15,948
and he's been dead for years.
497
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:17,199
Really. So...
498
00:15:17,268 --> 00:15:19,868
Uh...
well, anyway,
499
00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:22,705
my kids turned me on
to an idea last night.
500
00:15:22,773 --> 00:15:24,506
Yeah. All right, look, tell
'em about your invention.
501
00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,575
Well, the charity that...
Huh?
502
00:15:26,644 --> 00:15:29,228
Not the, not the charity.
The phone.
503
00:15:29,313 --> 00:15:31,113
The phone--
they're being modest.
504
00:15:31,182 --> 00:15:32,381
Tell her, show her
about the phone.
505
00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:34,783
Show the broad the phone.
506
00:15:40,825 --> 00:15:42,257
(exhales)
507
00:15:45,029 --> 00:15:46,862
You goddamn bitch!
508
00:15:46,914 --> 00:15:48,897
You wouldn't know a good idea
if it smacked you in a tit.
509
00:15:48,966 --> 00:15:51,533
She's gonna be gone by 2007,
you mark my words.
510
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:52,868
DENNIS:
She's a stupid...
511
00:15:52,937 --> 00:15:54,136
stupid idiot.
Yes, she's a dumb...
512
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,137
dumb bitch.
A stupid moron.
513
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:56,505
So, those people on Haiti.
514
00:15:56,574 --> 00:15:58,007
Now we can help them
with the mon-- your money.
515
00:15:58,042 --> 00:16:00,509
No, no... Haiti?
Haiti's a lost cause.
516
00:16:00,594 --> 00:16:02,411
You might as well sink
that goddamn island.
517
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,712
What are you talking about?
DEE: (gasps) No, not a lost cause,
518
00:16:03,764 --> 00:16:05,484
no, you said you wanted
to help poor people.
519
00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:07,082
I am going to help
the poor people.
520
00:16:07,151 --> 00:16:09,385
I'm gonna help you,
because you are my children
521
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:10,953
and I gotta think
of your future.
522
00:16:11,022 --> 00:16:12,388
W-What?
523
00:16:12,456 --> 00:16:13,856
This is for you.
524
00:16:13,908 --> 00:16:16,091
(inhales) There you go.
525
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,893
(both inhale sharply) Oh!
526
00:16:17,962 --> 00:16:19,561
Oh, that's a lot of zeroes!
Oh, Dee...
527
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:20,929
Yeah, that's a lot of zeroes.
528
00:16:20,982 --> 00:16:22,281
Yeah. We will.
Oh, Daddy, we're gonna do
529
00:16:22,366 --> 00:16:23,482
such good things with this money.
Yes.
530
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:24,750
We're gonna help people,
we're gonna invent.
531
00:16:24,835 --> 00:16:26,769
Let's do it now, though.
Let's move.
532
00:16:26,837 --> 00:16:27,936
Yeah, we'll go deposit it. Invent,
invent, invent, invent, right.
533
00:16:27,972 --> 00:16:29,438
That was a very good
decision-- thank you!
534
00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:30,673
Do it right away,
do it right away.
535
00:16:30,741 --> 00:16:31,874
(Dee giggles)
You're a great dad.
536
00:16:31,942 --> 00:16:32,741
Oh, Daddy!
You're a great dad.
537
00:16:32,810 --> 00:16:33,676
You're right.
538
00:16:35,413 --> 00:16:37,513
(echoing):
You are crackheads, children.
539
00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:41,817
MAC: I want to thank you,
gentlemen, for your interest
540
00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:43,285
in the roommate position.
541
00:16:43,354 --> 00:16:44,286
You're both
excellent candidates.
542
00:16:44,355 --> 00:16:45,504
We have Edgar
543
00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:47,439
and Trevor,
544
00:16:47,525 --> 00:16:49,491
who is an aspiring
jazz musician.
545
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:50,926
That's interesting,
546
00:16:50,995 --> 00:16:53,278
because Charlie is actually
a musician himself.
547
00:16:53,364 --> 00:16:55,597
Mmm, don't really
care for jazz, though.
548
00:16:55,649 --> 00:16:57,366
A lot of unnecessary notes.
549
00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:58,331
(door opens)
FRANK: Hey!
550
00:16:58,335 --> 00:17:00,636
Got room for one more?
551
00:17:00,705 --> 00:17:01,945
Frank, what are you doing here?
552
00:17:01,989 --> 00:17:03,255
Charlie, the other night
553
00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:04,390
was the greatest night
of my life.
554
00:17:04,475 --> 00:17:05,774
I used to live like that,
555
00:17:05,843 --> 00:17:06,775
in filth and squalor.
556
00:17:06,844 --> 00:17:08,043
I want to do it again.
557
00:17:08,129 --> 00:17:09,395
Absolutely not.
We are not doing this again.
558
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,612
You know what?
I'm gonna consider it.
559
00:17:10,664 --> 00:17:11,624
Gah... Frank, have a seat.
560
00:17:11,665 --> 00:17:12,998
Oh, Charlie.
Yeah, yeah,
561
00:17:13,084 --> 00:17:13,982
have a seat, all right.
Yeah, yeah.
562
00:17:14,051 --> 00:17:15,150
All right, let's begin.
563
00:17:15,186 --> 00:17:17,653
Okay, uh, first topic
is cat food.
564
00:17:17,722 --> 00:17:18,821
You want to lead with that?
Mm-hmm.
565
00:17:18,889 --> 00:17:20,689
Cat food.
Yeah.
566
00:17:20,758 --> 00:17:22,458
Okay. You find a can of cat
food in the apartment.
567
00:17:22,526 --> 00:17:24,226
What do you do with it?
568
00:17:24,328 --> 00:17:26,295
I don't do nothing with it.
569
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:28,480
Don't touch my shit,
570
00:17:28,566 --> 00:17:31,550
I don't touch your shit.
571
00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:32,901
Great.
Okay.
572
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,286
He-he doesn't touch your shit...
Yeah.
573
00:17:34,371 --> 00:17:35,888
That was very clear.
...and then you don't...
574
00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:37,733
So eloquent. Very clear.
What are you writing?
575
00:17:37,742 --> 00:17:39,425
I filled in half
the can of cat food.
576
00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:40,893
It's sort of a half-full answer.
Great.
577
00:17:40,978 --> 00:17:43,529
Trevor, your position
on the matter?
578
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:45,431
I'd ask if the can is yours,
579
00:17:45,516 --> 00:17:47,149
and, uh, if so,
580
00:17:47,201 --> 00:17:49,084
would you like me
to feed the cat?
581
00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:51,620
Oh... Oh, see, now he assumes
582
00:17:51,689 --> 00:17:53,088
that you have a cat.
Right.
583
00:17:53,157 --> 00:17:54,723
Smart. He doesn't
have a cat.
584
00:17:54,809 --> 00:17:56,091
CHARLIE: Yeah, so... Oh.
585
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,359
Yeah.
586
00:17:57,411 --> 00:17:58,494
Kind of a waste
to-to feed a cat
587
00:17:58,546 --> 00:17:59,878
that's not mine.
588
00:17:59,964 --> 00:18:02,765
For me, it depends
on how hungry I was.
589
00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:04,383
Or sleepy.
590
00:18:04,468 --> 00:18:05,784
Oh, very interesting.
591
00:18:05,870 --> 00:18:07,086
Couple of points for
Frank right there.
592
00:18:07,171 --> 00:18:08,411
W-Why?
Well, I don't understand.
593
00:18:08,472 --> 00:18:10,239
He gets points for...
594
00:18:10,307 --> 00:18:13,125
Yeah, eating it and then...
Well, if I was hungry
595
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:14,810
and the cat food was there, I'd eat it.
And if you were sleepy...
596
00:18:14,845 --> 00:18:16,078
If I couldn't go to sleep...
You would...
597
00:18:16,147 --> 00:18:17,362
I would eat the cat food
and go to sleep.
598
00:18:17,448 --> 00:18:18,647
'Cause it might
make you go to sleep!
599
00:18:18,716 --> 00:18:19,815
All right.
In what scenario
600
00:18:19,884 --> 00:18:21,183
do you not eat the cat food?
601
00:18:21,285 --> 00:18:22,925
I would always eat the cat food.
Yeah, no.
602
00:18:22,953 --> 00:18:24,393
Exactly right.
See, now there's a man
603
00:18:24,455 --> 00:18:25,735
who's-who's thinking
on his feet.
604
00:18:25,739 --> 00:18:27,322
MAC: Trevor is
a great roommate.
605
00:18:27,408 --> 00:18:28,991
He's a nice guy;
he doesn't have
606
00:18:29,043 --> 00:18:30,793
the experience, though.
Experience? In what?
607
00:18:30,878 --> 00:18:32,828
Well, all these good things.
Let's keep talking.
608
00:18:32,897 --> 00:18:35,080
Hey, I'm sorry, am I...
too late? Oh.
609
00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:36,632
Wow, hi.
610
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,050
What-what are you
doing here?
611
00:18:38,135 --> 00:18:39,601
I called her, actually.
I left her a message
612
00:18:39,653 --> 00:18:41,170
'cause I thought she might need
a place to live.
613
00:18:41,238 --> 00:18:43,605
The last couple of years
have been pretty rough on me,
614
00:18:43,657 --> 00:18:45,707
and now I'm living
in a women's shelter, so...
615
00:18:45,743 --> 00:18:47,142
Oh... Yeah, I figured that.
'Cause she's the worst.
616
00:18:47,178 --> 00:18:48,527
Is the apartment
still available or not?
617
00:18:48,612 --> 00:18:50,092
Well, yeah, it's
definitely available.
618
00:18:50,164 --> 00:18:51,380
Great.
Yes!
619
00:18:51,448 --> 00:18:52,564
Oh, I've brokered a deal!
620
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,783
Oh, no, come on, Charlie.
621
00:18:54,835 --> 00:18:56,585
I-I'm sorry, Frank,
622
00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:58,086
but you know I'm not gonna
give up an opportunity
623
00:18:58,155 --> 00:18:59,221
to have The Waitress
as a roommate.
624
00:18:59,290 --> 00:19:00,672
A roommate?
N-n-n... no, no.
625
00:19:00,758 --> 00:19:02,224
No, no, you did not say that.
You did not say
626
00:19:02,276 --> 00:19:03,436
he would still be living here.
627
00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:04,927
MAC: That's true,
I did not say that,
628
00:19:04,995 --> 00:19:06,728
because I didn't think
you would come if I did.
629
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,497
Yeah, well, you're goddamn right
I wouldn't have come.
630
00:19:08,566 --> 00:19:09,998
I am not living with Charlie.
Are you kidding?
631
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:12,167
I would rather live
on the streets.
632
00:19:12,236 --> 00:19:13,035
You'd rather live on the streets?
Yeah.
633
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,319
What? Ow!
634
00:19:14,405 --> 00:19:15,954
Ow, my God!
What are you doing?
635
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,339
Put me down! What the
hell are you doing?
636
00:19:17,374 --> 00:19:18,574
Charlie, what are you doing? Ow!
637
00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:20,676
I was gonna throw her
out the window
638
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:22,544
and send her back to 2006! You were
going to throw me out the window?
639
00:19:22,613 --> 00:19:23,846
What the hell is wrong with you?!
CHARLIE: It's a time portal!
640
00:19:23,881 --> 00:19:25,881
Back in time!
We could start over again!
641
00:19:25,950 --> 00:19:28,083
(arguing continues)
This is really good.
642
00:19:30,704 --> 00:19:33,689
(echoing):
This is ham soaked in rum.
643
00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:34,723
Rum ham, rum ham.
644
00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:35,624
...and make me another.
645
00:19:35,659 --> 00:19:37,176
Rum ham!
646
00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:37,981
Who wants rum ham?
647
00:19:38,012 --> 00:19:39,127
(screaming)
648
00:19:39,196 --> 00:19:39,828
Rum ham.
649
00:19:42,433 --> 00:19:44,099
You are such a psycho.
CHARLIE: The window is a time portal
650
00:19:44,151 --> 00:19:45,651
to 2006. What is
he talking about?
651
00:19:45,736 --> 00:19:47,636
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
652
00:19:47,721 --> 00:19:49,938
What the hell's everybody doing
in my apartment?
653
00:19:53,811 --> 00:19:55,060
We having a gang bang?
654
00:19:55,145 --> 00:19:56,478
Oh, my God. Get...
655
00:19:56,564 --> 00:19:57,813
get the hell out of my way.
656
00:19:57,865 --> 00:19:59,314
Welcome back, Frankie!
657
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,566
(laughing)
658
00:20:00,651 --> 00:20:01,817
Oh, the farts, man.
659
00:20:01,902 --> 00:20:03,352
That's good.
Oh. Oh, the fart.
660
00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:05,153
TELLER:
Yeah, sorry,
661
00:20:05,206 --> 00:20:07,155
I can't cash this check.
662
00:20:07,241 --> 00:20:09,124
Why? I mean,
I know the number's really,
663
00:20:09,159 --> 00:20:10,742
really big, but the check
is real. Are you sure you...
664
00:20:10,828 --> 00:20:12,494
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's a real check.
665
00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:13,495
No, it's outdated.
666
00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:14,787
No, he just wrote it yesterday.
667
00:20:14,832 --> 00:20:17,082
No, it is clearly dated 2006.
668
00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:19,801
♪ Oh, baby, you got
what I need... ♪
669
00:20:19,837 --> 00:20:21,670
Goddamn it.
Son of a bitch.
670
00:20:21,755 --> 00:20:32,121
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
48981
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