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1
00:00:01,651 --> 00:00:05,655
[ Chattering ]
2
00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:12,545
Make sure you account
for every dinar, Salmoneus.
[ Coin Clinking ]
3
00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:16,049
My brother intends
distributing them to the poor.
4
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:20,053
To thepoor?I mean,
[ Adjusts Tone ]
to the poor.
5
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:23,056
May they always benefit
from the king's generosity.
6
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:26,059
Yes, he always
had a big heart.
7
00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:29,462
Why, I remember
when we were little,
[ Coins Clinking ]
8
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:31,464
he gave my toys
to the servants' children.
9
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:35,468
What an...
inspiration to us all.
10
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:38,371
Uh-huh.
Um, I ought to get back
to work.
11
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,374
I promised King Pholus
I'd be done by the time
he finished his nap.
12
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,827
[ Laughing ]
13
00:00:46,329 --> 00:00:48,331
Don't worry.
14
00:00:48,331 --> 00:00:50,834
I'm sure you'll have
plenty of time.
15
00:00:53,336 --> 00:00:56,339
[ Whistling ]
16
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:06,466
Alone at last,
just the million of us.
17
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,968
And though we
can't be together for long,
18
00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:12,972
we'll always remember
the time we shared.
19
00:01:12,972 --> 00:01:15,475
[ Clattering ]
20
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:17,477
Who's there?
21
00:01:21,397 --> 00:01:23,399
I warn ya!
I know Hercules!
22
00:01:23,399 --> 00:01:26,903
If anything happens to me,
he's gonna be very upset.
23
00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:33,176
[ Yells ]
Hey.
What's the big idea?
24
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,161
Please.
I'm only the king's
accountant.
25
00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:37,163
Take the money!
Just leave my commission,
okay?
26
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:41,167
I'll do anything.
[ Whimpers ]
You can
start by letting go of my leg.
27
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,636
Your leg?
Of course.
28
00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:46,606
[ Hawks, Spits ]
Shoeshine,
Your Mercifulness?
29
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,609
The name's Autolycus.
Perhaps you've heard of me?
[ Leather Squeaking ]
30
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,095
Who?
31
00:01:52,595 --> 00:01:56,049
Oh, the King of Thieves!
It's an honor to be robbed
by you, sir.
32
00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:58,051
Think nothing of it,
my good man.
33
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:01,488
You say you know Hercules.
Me, Salmoneus,
know Hercules?
34
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:04,491
We're the best of friends,
like strawberries and cream,
35
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,993
apples and honey,
Peaches and Herb.
36
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:09,295
Funny,
he never mentioned you.
Really?
37
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:13,299
[ Laughs ] Listen, since we got
the big guy in common, you're
not gonna hurt me, are ya?
38
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,802
Well, that depends
on you now, doesn't it?
39
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,805
You can either stand here
and watch me take this money,
40
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,308
or I can club you over the head,
and I'll take it anyway.
41
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,312
What was the first part,
again?
[ Man Screaming ]
42
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,784
[ Gasping ]
[ Salmoneus ]
King Pholus!
43
00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:35,555
- No!
- [ Gasping Continues ]
44
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:40,276
Rosebush.
[ Groans ]
45
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,915
[ Man ]
By the gods!
They've killed the king!
46
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,918
- [ Shrieks ]
- Well, best of luck.
47
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,404
[ Yodeling ]
See ya later, whoo!
48
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:57,193
Autolycus, wait. After all
we've been through together,
you gotta take me with you!
49
00:02:57,193 --> 00:03:00,413
- Oh, hey, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa--
- Wh-Whoa!
50
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:02,916
[ Both Yelling ]
Ow!
51
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:06,786
Seal off the city.
I want them found!
[ Soldier ] Right away!
52
00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:09,038
[ Vendor ] Here!
Get your fresh fruit here!
53
00:03:09,038 --> 00:03:11,541
We've got apples, oranges,
lemons, pineapples,
54
00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:13,543
kumquats, pomegranates,
prickly pears!
55
00:03:13,543 --> 00:03:16,546
[ Soldier ]
Can't find him anywhere!
Get your fresh fruit here!
56
00:03:17,046 --> 00:03:19,048
Come on, sir. You, sir.
Fresh fruit for you, sir.
57
00:03:19,048 --> 00:03:21,801
Fruit in the morning--
Ah. You.
58
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:24,103
[ Vendor ]
What can I get for
you this fine day?
59
00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:26,105
[ Woman ]
Do you have any kiwis?
60
00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:29,108
[ Vendor ]
Sorry. we don't carry kiwis.
That was close.
61
00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:32,111
This is delicious.
You gonna eat yours?
Listen, melonhead,
62
00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:35,114
I work alone,
especially when I'm escaping
certain death.
63
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,967
Hey, you're gonna
have to pay for that!
64
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:40,169
Guards!
65
00:03:40,169 --> 00:03:42,989
[ Soldier ]
There they are!
Uh, just put it on our tab.
66
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,291
Come back!
Come back, here!
Don't let 'em get away!
67
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,393
- Wh-Whoa.
- They're the ones.
68
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:50,930
- [ Salmoneus ] Run!
-[ Soldier ]
We got 'em now.
69
00:03:51,931 --> 00:03:54,317
Wrong way.
[ Blubbering ]
70
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:58,054
[ Soldier ]
They must have
gone down here!
71
00:03:58,054 --> 00:04:01,958
dddd [ Piano ]
72
00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:05,461
Where are we?
[ Woman ] Oh, no, no, no!
Stop, stop, stop!
73
00:04:05,461 --> 00:04:08,431
Would you stop that!
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
74
00:04:08,431 --> 00:04:11,367
Honestly,
I've seen more creativity
in a wet kipper!
75
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:15,305
Now, then, girls, women,
76
00:04:15,805 --> 00:04:17,707
dance is like a language.
77
00:04:17,707 --> 00:04:21,711
You must use your bodies
to speak. And what does
the body say?
78
00:04:21,711 --> 00:04:23,713
It says, "Oooh! Oooh!
79
00:04:24,213 --> 00:04:27,216
"I'm euphoric!
Oooh! Ooh, ooh!
80
00:04:27,216 --> 00:04:29,218
I'm melancholic."
81
00:04:29,218 --> 00:04:33,222
But above all, girls,
we must use our bodies
to tell the world,
82
00:04:33,222 --> 00:04:37,727
in no uncertain terms,
"I am woman."
[ Breasts Squeaking ]
83
00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:40,647
[ Snaps Fingers ]
That gives me an idea.
84
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,649
This is no time
to be thinking
about women.
85
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,651
On the contrary,
my soon-to-be
beardless friend,
86
00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:49,155
now is the perfect time.
[ Widow Twanky ]
One and two and three and--
87
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:53,159
Say,
what's your size?
88
00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:56,963
Hmm?
[ Gasps ]
[ Dancers Chattering ]
89
00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,016
[ Man Narrating ]
This is the story
of a time long ago,
90
00:05:00,016 --> 00:05:02,302
a time of myth and legend,
91
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,338
when the ancient gods
were petty and cruel,
92
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:07,940
and they plagued mankind
with suffering.
93
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:11,678
Only one man dared
to challenge their power--
94
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:14,047
Hercules.
95
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:18,017
Hercules possessed a strength
the world had never seen,
96
00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:20,586
a strength surpassed
only by the power of his heart.
97
00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:24,223
He journeyed the earth,
battling the minions
of his wicked stepmother, Hera,
98
00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:27,327
the all-powerful
queen of the gods.
99
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,312
But wherever
there was evil,
100
00:05:29,312 --> 00:05:32,799
wherever an innocent
would suffer,
101
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:34,967
there would be... Hercules.
102
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:37,370
- [ Screeching ]
- [ Roaring ]
103
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:52,902
Hail!
104
00:05:59,409 --> 00:06:02,912
Ooh, now this is to die for.
Say, are you a spring
or a winter?
105
00:06:02,912 --> 00:06:05,815
Winter.
But that's not the point!
We're innocent!
106
00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:09,736
Oh, sure, they'll believe that.
You were holding the knife,
and I'm the King of Thieves.
107
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:11,738
If we're lucky,
they'll only kill us once.
108
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:15,241
That's a good point.
Now, about that makeover--
109
00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:17,243
Umm, uhh.
110
00:06:19,595 --> 00:06:23,850
It is with a heavy heart,
that I take my brother's
place on the throne.
111
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:27,086
But royal duty compels me
to take control of his armies...
112
00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:30,089
and his vast riches...
113
00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:33,092
and his important collection
of fine jams and cheeses.
114
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:36,596
Now, then!
I need not stress...
115
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:40,600
the importance of bringing
these two assassins to justice.
116
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:44,604
We'll seal off the city and go
door-to-door, if needs be,
but I want them found!
117
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,939
[ Widow Twanky ]
Look-and-down-and-look--
118
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:49,909
and heads yet round,
round, round.
119
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,446
[ Laughs Gleefully ]
Ooh, lovely! Smile.
120
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,315
Smile! Look.
121
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:58,701
Oh!
Now, into the picture.
122
00:06:58,701 --> 00:07:01,053
Oh.
Oh, that was so lovely.
123
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,556
That's wonderful, girls.
Much better.
124
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:05,491
Now then,
take a break.
Catch your breath.
125
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,994
[ Autolycus ]
Uh, excuse us.
Mm-hmm? Oh!
126
00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:14,167
Well. I was going to say,
"May I help you?"
127
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,035
But it appears events
have passed us by.
128
00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:19,455
Um,
I'm... Autolyca,
129
00:07:19,455 --> 00:07:22,458
and this is my partner,
Sal... monella.
130
00:07:22,959 --> 00:07:24,961
Charmed.
[ Giggles ]
131
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:29,832
- What happened to your face?
- I cut myself... waxing.
132
00:07:29,832 --> 00:07:33,336
[ Chuckles ]
Anyhoo, we're a couple
of nomadic showgirls...
133
00:07:33,336 --> 00:07:35,588
looking for
a stage to grace.
134
00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:40,409
Oh, well then, ladies,
[ Clicks Tongue ]
135
00:07:40,409 --> 00:07:42,411
I think you better
show me your particulars.
136
00:07:47,350 --> 00:07:50,286
No, what dance steps
do you know?
137
00:07:50,286 --> 00:07:53,789
[ Both Laughing ]
Uh, oh--
Oh, we know them all.
138
00:07:53,789 --> 00:07:55,791
The mambo.
The tango.
139
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:58,794
The Chachi.
And the Joanie.
[ Laughs ]
140
00:07:58,794 --> 00:08:02,248
Ooh, well, I can see you
both have very sizable r?sum?s,
141
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:05,251
but unfortunately,
all our positions
are filled at the moment.
142
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:07,253
[ Salmonella Cries ]
I knew it!
[ Autolyca ] Oh.
143
00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:11,257
We're worthless!
[ Sobbing ]
Ow!
144
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:13,626
Now, Salmonella,
speak for yourself.
145
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:15,511
[ Sobbing Continues ]
Uh, well--
146
00:08:16,012 --> 00:08:18,915
Oh, I suppose
an extra pair of legs
can't hurt you.
147
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:22,418
Make you run faster, anyway.
You two can be our understudies.
148
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:24,420
[ Both Gasp ]
Oh, happy day!
149
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,405
Now, then,
I'm the Widow Twanky,
150
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:30,409
known throughout the Western
world as "Laughing Lizzie,
the Sailor's Surprise."
151
00:08:30,409 --> 00:08:34,413
Now, if you want to join
my traveling terpsichore
of toe-tapping tulips,
152
00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:37,416
- you shall have to observe
a few simple rules.
- Oh, we'd love to hear them.
153
00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:41,387
Well, rule number one--
We do two shows a day--
Mm-hmm.
154
00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:43,389
and after the second show,
I like my tulips flossed--
155
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:45,391
Mm-hmm.
and in their pajamas
and in bed.
156
00:08:45,758 --> 00:08:48,528
And I'll even help
tuck them in.
[ Laughs ]
157
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:53,499
Rule number two--
no alcohol and no junk food.
158
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,501
Your body is a temple,
159
00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:58,504
and I will not brook
the sullying of its
porticoes on my watch.
160
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:02,842
- Hallelujah.
- And rule number three--
161
00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:09,849
- no men.
- [ Together ]
No problem!
162
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:11,834
[ Giggles ]
Right.
163
00:09:11,834 --> 00:09:15,204
Girls, could I have
your attention, please?
164
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:18,591
Let's give a big,
warm tulip welcome...
165
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:21,093
to the newest members
of our troupe--
166
00:09:21,093 --> 00:09:23,596
Autolyca
and Salmonella.
167
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:26,966
[ All, Singsong ]
Howdy do, sisters!
Oh!
168
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:30,152
[ Widow Twanky
Giggling ]
[ Both ] Howdy do!
169
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,939
Right. Let's go
from the top, shall we?
[ Clears Throat ]
170
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:36,442
Um, why don't you two
just sit this one out?
171
00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:40,313
Rest your best feature,
pay attention to the steps and
you'll pick it up in no time.
172
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,148
[ Widow Twanky
Chuckling ]
[ Giggles ]
173
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:47,353
[ Sighs, Clears Throat ]
Now, Cupcake, are you ready?
174
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,855
[ Cupcake ]
I was born ready.
175
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,843
dddd [ Slow Jazz ]
176
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:05,354
d
dd Some girls die for diamonds d
177
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:09,859
dd Some gals go for gold dd
178
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:14,363
dd But if you want
the key to my heart dd
179
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:18,734
dd Just listen
to what you're told dd
180
00:10:18,734 --> 00:10:24,173
dd I don't need
tons of jewels dd
181
00:10:24,674 --> 00:10:28,177
dd Rings and things
are meant for fools dd
182
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:33,065
dd To make
our two hearts meet dd
183
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:37,069
dd Feed me something sweet dd
184
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:42,541
dd I crave lots of candy
Cookies and cakes are dandy dd
185
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:44,543
dd Let me lick your lollipop dd
186
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:47,430
dd And you can try
my lemon drop dd
187
00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:50,933
dd So if you dip
into my cookie jar dd
188
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:55,921
dd Then, sugar daddy
we'll go far dd
189
00:10:56,422 --> 00:11:00,893
dd Kisses and hugs
just ain't enough dd
190
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:04,897
dd I want a bite
of your cream puff dd
191
00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:09,902
dd Ooh, don't make me repeat dd
192
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:14,907
dd Feed me something sweet dd
193
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:19,412
ddd
dd Feed me something sweet d
194
00:11:20,663 --> 00:11:24,950
Bravo! Bravo!
[ Laughs ]
195
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:27,453
What a snake charmer.
Tell me about it.
196
00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:30,956
If I don't get a looser skirt,
I'm gonna blow my cover.
[ Laughs ]
197
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:36,262
[ Widow Twanky ] The Athens
Grande Royale Hotel have
graciously extended to us...
198
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,764
the full utilization
of their facilities...
199
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:40,766
whilst we are
performing in the area.
200
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,768
And I don't want to catch
any of you girls...
201
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:46,155
in the gambling halls
or the taverns.
[ Disappointed Groans ]
202
00:11:46,155 --> 00:11:48,157
Am I making myself clear?
203
00:11:48,157 --> 00:11:51,510
[ All ]
Yes, Widow Twanky.
204
00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:55,331
- Good.
-[ Soldier ] Keep an eye out.
They can't hide forever.
205
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,518
[ Bell Rings ]
Front, boy.
Coming, sir.
206
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:02,605
[ Sal Giggles ]
So, tell me, girls. Howdoyou
keep your hose from running?
207
00:12:03,105 --> 00:12:05,608
[ Widow Twanky ]
Okay, this way girls--
room assignments.
208
00:12:05,608 --> 00:12:07,576
[ Excited Squealing ]
Come along now.
Watch your step.
209
00:12:08,077 --> 00:12:11,580
This way, girls.
Quickly, off you go,
up the stairs.
210
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,583
Ohh!
[ Gasping ]
Oh, no.
211
00:12:19,054 --> 00:12:21,056
[ Shuddering ]
To whom does this belong?
212
00:12:21,056 --> 00:12:23,793
Cupcake?
Oh, Widow Twanky,
I--
213
00:12:23,793 --> 00:12:25,795
Mistress Twanky,
214
00:12:25,795 --> 00:12:27,797
I cannot tell a lie.
215
00:12:27,797 --> 00:12:29,799
It's hers.
What?
216
00:12:29,799 --> 00:12:31,801
[ Autolyca ]
Sorry, sister.
It's for your own good.
217
00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:35,287
Smuggling sweets,
and on show day as well.
218
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:37,656
But-But-But-But-But--
But I-- But--
219
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,459
Don't you "but" me,
young lady.
220
00:12:40,726 --> 00:12:42,778
[ Gasps ]
Ow!
Now, then,
221
00:12:42,778 --> 00:12:45,281
you go up to your room,
and you stay there all day.
222
00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:48,017
And while the rest of us
are relaxing in the spa,
223
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:51,353
you should have
ample opportunity to discover
the ramifications...
224
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:53,355
of your "ingestatory"
overindulgence!
[ Ear Stretching, Popping ]
225
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:56,742
- Now, off you go!
And, you, go on!
-Oh. Oh. Yes, ma'am.
226
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:59,128
Well, come on.
Your legs aren't painted on!
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
227
00:12:59,128 --> 00:13:02,965
[ Laughing And Giggling ]
228
00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:07,470
Oh, ho, ho, ho.
Whee.
229
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,972
[ Laughs ]
Wheee!
[ Squeals ]
230
00:13:11,474 --> 00:13:14,477
Oh, gee, Autolyca.
Thanks for savin' my butt.
231
00:13:14,477 --> 00:13:16,479
Oh, think nothing
of it, Cupcake.
232
00:13:16,479 --> 00:13:18,981
It's a butt
worth saving.
233
00:13:18,981 --> 00:13:22,985
Besides, us girls,
we need to stick together,
close together.
234
00:13:23,486 --> 00:13:27,373
Oh, I feel so bad about
Salmonella, takin' the blame
for me and all.
235
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:30,659
Oh, don't give it
a second thought.
I haven't.
236
00:13:30,659 --> 00:13:33,529
I guess I'm a slave
to my sweet tooth.
237
00:13:33,529 --> 00:13:37,533
There's just somethin'
about frosting that
makes me feel all--
238
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:42,037
mmm, oh--
boop-boop-a-doopy inside!
[ Both Laugh ]
239
00:13:42,037 --> 00:13:44,940
But you still manage
to keep your figure.
240
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:47,443
Ooh, I just hate you.
Oh!
[ Laughs ]
241
00:13:47,443 --> 00:13:51,847
I swear,
if I ever met a man who loved
sweets as much as I do,
242
00:13:51,847 --> 00:13:54,850
I'd tie him to my bed
and never let him go.
243
00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:57,253
I like the way you think.
244
00:13:57,753 --> 00:14:00,256
So tell me, uh,
what else do you like
in a man?
245
00:14:00,739 --> 00:14:05,644
Well, he-he'd have
to be kind to animals too...
246
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:08,647
and maybe a little,
I don't know,
247
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:12,151
wild and dangerous.
Ooh.
[ Growling ]
248
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:15,037
But I guess that's
just wishful thinking.
249
00:14:15,037 --> 00:14:17,923
I haven't exactly been lucky
when it comes to love.
250
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:20,726
[ Clicks Tongue ]
Call it female intuition,
251
00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:23,696
but I think your luck
is about to change.
252
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,681
[ Chuckling ]
253
00:14:25,681 --> 00:14:28,067
[ Laughs ]
This is just great.
254
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:31,070
I can't believe
I let him talk me into this.
255
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:33,572
I feel so exposed
without my beard,
256
00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:36,575
so vulnerable, so naked,
257
00:14:36,575 --> 00:14:40,079
so-- so--
258
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:43,082
so smooth.
259
00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:45,584
Mmm.
[ Knocking ]
260
00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:47,586
It's about time.
261
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:57,413
[ Whimpers ]
Well, hello.
262
00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:08,173
Excuse us, I didn't mean
to disturb you, Miss--
263
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:11,577
Monella--
Sal Monella.
264
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:15,581
What an enchanting name.
[ Kisses Hand ]
[ Giggles ]
265
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:20,119
So full ofmystery.
Can I help you
with something?
266
00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:23,355
Oh, uh, have you seen
these two men, Miss Monella?
267
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:26,558
No, no, no. Never, never, never.
Not allowed to have men. No, no.
[ Laughs ]
268
00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:29,895
No.
Please,
would you mind looking?
269
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:33,265
[ Screams ]
How hideous!
270
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:35,768
Uh, d-don't be alarmed,
271
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,770
but these two men have
assassinated the king.
272
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:41,874
Uh, don't worry.
We've sealed off
the city.
273
00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:45,077
They'll be found
soon enough.
I should hope so.
274
00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:49,081
And now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to get ready for my show.
275
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,953
Ahhh, you're a dancer.
[ Chuckles ]
Well--
276
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:58,457
I should've guessed from
the curvaceous musculature
of your... legs.
277
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,261
[ Chuckles ]
So kind of you to notice.
278
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:05,080
Oh, very little
escapes my watchful eye,
279
00:16:05,581 --> 00:16:10,085
especially when it is feasting
on such a gorgeous creature.
[ Giggles ]
280
00:16:10,085 --> 00:16:12,838
Perhaps we'll meet again,
Miss Monella.
281
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:15,991
Only the Fates can tell.
Bye.
282
00:16:15,991 --> 00:16:18,460
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
283
00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:21,463
[ Giggling,
Rapid Breaths ]
284
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,366
Oh, Salmonella,
my friend,
285
00:16:24,366 --> 00:16:27,870
I haven't felt this
way since, oh, last week.
286
00:16:27,870 --> 00:16:31,373
Where have you been?
We've gotta get outta here!
287
00:16:31,373 --> 00:16:33,876
Oh, that Cupcake.
What a dish. Ooh-whee.
288
00:16:33,876 --> 00:16:36,879
I ought to have her eating
out of the palm of my hand
by suppertime.
289
00:16:36,879 --> 00:16:39,381
Will you forget the girl?
Gekkus and his men
were just here.
290
00:16:39,381 --> 00:16:41,884
Oh, yeah?
Well, you're still alive.
The disguise must have worked.
291
00:16:41,884 --> 00:16:44,386
A little too well.
He kissed my hand.
292
00:16:44,386 --> 00:16:48,891
Ooh, a wanted man, eh?
You little vixen.
Say, now this is you.
293
00:16:48,891 --> 00:16:51,393
Are we
going somewhere?
Not "we," me.
294
00:16:51,393 --> 00:16:54,396
I borrowed
these threads from a very
generous-looking couple.
295
00:16:54,396 --> 00:16:56,532
-They didn't seem to mind.
- [ Laughs ]
296
00:16:56,532 --> 00:16:59,401
In fact,
they didn't seem to notice.
297
00:17:02,404 --> 00:17:06,408
Gadzooks!
If I were a woman,
I'd kiss myself.
298
00:17:06,408 --> 00:17:08,544
Wait. You can't
leave me again like this.
299
00:17:08,544 --> 00:17:13,215
Sorry, old girl.
You're grounded.
[ Laughs ]
300
00:17:13,215 --> 00:17:17,102
Last one to their room's
a rotten egg.
Okay!
301
00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:20,606
[ Girls Giggling ]
Oh, I'm so sorry.
302
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,608
Think nothing of it,
my dear.
[ Yelps ]
303
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:26,612
Why, the world
is just a chaotic stage,
just teaming with activity.
304
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:29,114
A little bump-and-grind
here and there
is to be expected.
305
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:33,619
Well, gee,
I never thought of it
that way, mister.
306
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,505
I guess you're right.
Why,
where are my manners?
307
00:17:36,505 --> 00:17:39,358
[ Laughs ]
I forgot to introduce myself.
308
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:42,728
Farciferous Von Baklava,
Esquire, at your service.
309
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:45,197
[ Squeals ]
Golly!
310
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:48,200
I have never had an esquire
at my service before.
311
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,786
I'm Cupcake.
312
00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:56,725
Oh, is that your dog?
Why, yes it is.
Cupcake, meet Creampuff.
313
00:17:56,725 --> 00:17:59,728
Hmm.
I named her after
my greatest culinary creation.
314
00:18:02,197 --> 00:18:05,584
You... invented
the cream puff?
315
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:09,388
I certainly did.
I own a string of bakeries
all across Greece.
316
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:12,391
Oh, gods, forgive me,
but I am a slave
to my sweet tooth.
317
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:14,860
[ Swoons ]
You don't say.
318
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:17,246
Oh, I doobee-do.
[ Groans ]
319
00:18:17,246 --> 00:18:20,749
But the money, the castles--
that can't mean a thing to me...
320
00:18:20,749 --> 00:18:24,253
until I know all the animals
of the world are safe and happy.
321
00:18:24,253 --> 00:18:26,255
I guess that's why
I turned my gardens...
322
00:18:26,755 --> 00:18:29,758
into a sanctuary
for abused wildlife.
323
00:18:29,758 --> 00:18:33,762
You mean, you care
about animals that much?
How could I not?
324
00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:37,149
Just look at that face.
Ooh-whoo.
325
00:18:37,149 --> 00:18:39,401
[ Barks, Whimpers ]
326
00:18:39,401 --> 00:18:41,637
[ Laughs ]
There, there.
327
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:45,491
I rescued Creampuff
here from a band
of murderous pirates.
328
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:50,262
[ Breathlessly ] Oh, my!
That sounds so dangerous.
329
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:56,101
It was, Cupcake,
very, very dangerous.
330
00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:58,370
Oh, wow!
331
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:02,875
It's not every day
that I meet an animal-loving,
daredevil...
332
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:06,378
pastry mogul
with a sweet tooth like mine.
[ Widow Twanky ] Come on, girls!
333
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,864
Hurry along!
Too many bubbles can make
you go blind.
334
00:19:08,864 --> 00:19:12,868
[ Girls Giggling ]
Cupcake?
Is this gentleman bothering you?
335
00:19:12,868 --> 00:19:14,870
Ooh, much
better now.
Oh, no.
336
00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:18,757
I was just stroking
his poodle.
[ Dog Whimpers ]
337
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,743
You hardly know him.
Now, run along.
338
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:24,246
You're dripping
all over the floor.
I guess I gotta go.
339
00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:28,066
It was nice meeting you.
340
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:35,507
Yes, well,
as for you,
341
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,509
if you wish to have
anything more to do
with my Cupcake,
342
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:40,863
you will have
to go through me,
343
00:19:42,231 --> 00:19:46,235
you...
strapping, young buck.
344
00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:49,755
[ Whimpers, Barks ]
345
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,427
[ Salmoneus ]
dd You can lick my lollipop dd
346
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,930
dd And I will suck
your lemon drop dd
347
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,932
[ Saber Rattling ]
dd Dada-da, da-da-- dd
348
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:04,519
[ Screams ] Peeping Tom!
Don't flatter yourself,
cookie-puss. It's me.
349
00:20:04,519 --> 00:20:08,106
-Can't a girl have some privacy?
-Relax, it's nothing
I haven't seen before.
350
00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,660
- On second thought--
-[ Soft Knocking ]
351
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,346
Autolyca!
It's Cupcake.
352
00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:16,348
Can I come in?
Quick.
Get up and answer the door.
353
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:18,350
She can't see me
like this.
I'm in the tub.
354
00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:20,852
Where are my melons?
Don't look at me.
355
00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:25,824
Autolyca?
[ Falsetto ]
Just a minute.
356
00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:27,826
[ Water Splashing ]
357
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:31,330
In here, sweetie,
in the bathroom.
358
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:35,884
Oh, I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting?
359
00:20:35,884 --> 00:20:38,870
Not at all, Cuppy.
Three's company!
360
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,872
Oh, Autolyca,
you were right.
361
00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:43,375
I finally met my dream man.
362
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:48,130
[ Gasps ]
Oh, I just knew you would,
snookie-lumps.
363
00:20:48,130 --> 00:20:50,349
Uh-huh.
You know what I always say?
364
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:54,152
If something looks too good
to be true, it probably is.
365
00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:58,073
- [ Groans, Laughs ]
- She's just jealous.
366
00:20:58,073 --> 00:21:01,376
He sounds wonderful.
367
00:21:01,877 --> 00:21:05,380
And who do we think
we are today,
Xena and Gabrielle?
368
00:21:05,380 --> 00:21:08,817
Now, come on girls!
Chop, chop!
The stage awaits.
369
00:21:08,817 --> 00:21:11,820
[ Autolycus ]
Well, looks like your
not-so-secret admirer is here.
370
00:21:11,820 --> 00:21:14,723
Just my luck.
And my shoes don't
even match my tail.
371
00:21:14,723 --> 00:21:16,725
Ooh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.
372
00:21:16,725 --> 00:21:18,977
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness--
Oh, what's the matter?
373
00:21:18,977 --> 00:21:21,713
[ Gasps ]
Rena and Dena--
food poisoning.
374
00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:25,167
I told them to keep away
from that pickled chinchilla.
Oh, what are we gonna do?
375
00:21:25,667 --> 00:21:29,171
They were
our opening act.
Oh.
376
00:21:29,171 --> 00:21:32,140
You two.
You're on!
Oh!
Oh!
377
00:21:32,140 --> 00:21:35,127
- Us?
- Yes.
With your dance experience,
378
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:38,130
the Hootchy-Kootchy
Jiggle-Wiggle should be
no problem at all.
379
00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:42,401
Hoo-Hootchy-Kootchy
Jiggle-Wiggle?
Why, sure.
380
00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:46,772
The-The-The
Hootchy-Kootchy Jiggle-Wiggle,
that's our favorite.
381
00:21:46,772 --> 00:21:51,677
Oh! A couple of pros.
I love it.
Show must go on!
382
00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:54,680
Gee, you gals
are a lot braver than I am.
383
00:21:55,180 --> 00:21:57,182
- [ Modest Scoffs ]
- I'd be too embarrassed...
384
00:21:57,683 --> 00:22:00,435
to go out there
in front of everyone
and get naked.
385
00:22:00,435 --> 00:22:02,220
[ Girls Chattering, Laughing ]
386
00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:06,224
[ Together ]
N-N-N-Naked?
387
00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:11,930
Yoo-hoo!
388
00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:15,434
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
[ Applause ]
389
00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:20,939
Good evening and welcome.
Welcome, one and all,
to the Athenian Royal Palladium.
390
00:22:20,939 --> 00:22:25,227
- Now, are there any married men
in the audience?
- Yes.
391
00:22:25,227 --> 00:22:27,963
Yeah, I am!
Get home to your wives. You
should be ashamed of yourselves!
392
00:22:27,963 --> 00:22:30,916
- [ Audience Laughing ]
-[ Widow Twanky ]
Is there anybody from Corinth?
393
00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:33,418
It's over.
Finished. Kaput.
394
00:22:33,418 --> 00:22:35,420
Nothing personal,
but I hate your guts!
395
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:37,422
You think
you got it rough,
puffball?
396
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:40,425
The last thing I need to see
before I go is you naked.
397
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:43,428
I don't wanna die!
I don't wanna die!
I don't wanna die!
398
00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:45,430
Then let's make
like Zeus and bolt.
How can we?
399
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:50,936
-Gekkus's guards are everywhere!
-And now,
without any further ado,
400
00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:53,438
I'd like you to put
your hands together for...
401
00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:56,942
the Hootchy-Kootchy
Jiggle-Wiggle.
[ Man ] Yeah!
402
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:59,311
[ Audience Cheering,
Applauding ]
403
00:23:02,597 --> 00:23:04,599
[ Man Shouting ]
Bring 'em on!
404
00:23:04,599 --> 00:23:08,086
dddd [ Burlesque ]
[ Hissing ]
405
00:23:09,588 --> 00:23:12,290
dddd [ Continues ]
406
00:23:14,259 --> 00:23:17,746
[ Shouts, Whistles ]
407
00:23:29,558 --> 00:23:32,561
Whoo!
Ooh!
408
00:23:32,561 --> 00:23:36,014
dddd [ Continues ]
409
00:23:39,484 --> 00:23:41,987
[ Audience Exclaiming ]
410
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:45,490
Whoo!
411
00:23:54,966 --> 00:23:56,968
Whoa!
412
00:23:59,955 --> 00:24:03,391
- [ Sighs ]
Whee!
- [ Woman Squeals ]
413
00:24:11,383 --> 00:24:13,852
Ahhh!
414
00:24:16,171 --> 00:24:19,107
Whoo!
415
00:24:21,076 --> 00:24:23,061
[ Man Shouting ]
Yeah!
416
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:45,217
[ Children Giggling ]
417
00:24:59,764 --> 00:25:02,167
[ Wolf Whistle ]
418
00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:09,057
Huhhh!
419
00:25:11,293 --> 00:25:14,296
- [ Audience Clamoring ]
- [ Man ] Come on!
Take off your dress!
420
00:25:14,296 --> 00:25:16,464
Oh! Ooh!
421
00:25:16,965 --> 00:25:18,466
[ Audience Exclaiming ]
422
00:25:20,969 --> 00:25:22,971
[ Fabric Ripping ]
Oh-ho!
423
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,089
[ Man ]
Come on! Show us!
424
00:25:51,700 --> 00:25:55,070
[ Cheering ]
425
00:26:01,443 --> 00:26:05,330
Oh, thank you, girls.
That was a sublime performance.
[ Dancers Squealing ]
426
00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:07,332
Run along,
and have a light supper.
But,
427
00:26:07,832 --> 00:26:09,834
remember to be back in
time for tonight's show.
428
00:26:09,834 --> 00:26:13,338
[ Overlapping Chatter ]
Um, oh. Beautiful.
429
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,343
[ Dancer ]
I think I broke a heel.
430
00:26:20,845 --> 00:26:24,849
Where'd
you score the buds?
Gekkus sent them to me.
431
00:26:24,849 --> 00:26:27,352
He wants me to meet him
for dinner at his castle.
432
00:26:27,352 --> 00:26:30,355
What do you think?
Should I play hard-to-get?
433
00:26:30,355 --> 00:26:33,358
Is your wig on too tight?
Aside from the fact that
he's trying to kill us,
434
00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:35,860
he seems like
a really nice guy.
435
00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:38,863
Listen, Sallie, you're not
that kinda girl, remember?
Oh, what do you know?
436
00:26:39,364 --> 00:26:41,866
You're just jealous
'cause nobody sent
you flowers.
437
00:26:45,220 --> 00:26:48,540
Sure, they did.
Hey,
give them back!
438
00:26:48,540 --> 00:26:51,543
Nobody ever gave me
flowers before.
Here's one for your date.
439
00:26:51,543 --> 00:26:53,545
By the way, clean up
your side of the room,
will ya?
440
00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:56,047
It's a sty.
441
00:26:59,050 --> 00:27:01,052
Well, I never!
442
00:27:03,521 --> 00:27:07,025
Cupcake, what's wrong?
Oh, nothin'.
443
00:27:07,025 --> 00:27:10,528
I was just kinda hopin'
Farciferous would show.
444
00:27:10,528 --> 00:27:12,981
Maybe he didn't like me,
after all.
445
00:27:12,981 --> 00:27:15,483
Now,
I know that's not true.
446
00:27:15,483 --> 00:27:18,987
These came for you.
[ Gasps ]
447
00:27:18,987 --> 00:27:23,475
Oh, they're from Farciferous.
He wants to meet me
at the gazebo!
448
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:26,945
Oh, that sounds
so romantic.
449
00:27:28,446 --> 00:27:32,334
[ Clicks Tongue ]
I think he's the one for you,
Cupcake.
450
00:27:32,834 --> 00:27:36,404
My advice-- Don't do
anything I wouldn't do.
Mm-hmm.
451
00:27:36,905 --> 00:27:40,408
And that's not a long list.
Oh, Autolyca.
452
00:27:40,408 --> 00:27:42,877
You are so bad.
[ Laughs ]
453
00:27:42,877 --> 00:27:46,564
And it feels so good.
454
00:27:49,434 --> 00:27:51,436
[ Water Trickling ]
455
00:27:59,944 --> 00:28:01,946
I didn't think
you were coming.
456
00:28:01,946 --> 00:28:03,948
I'm so sorry
to keep you waiting,
sweetcheeks,
457
00:28:03,948 --> 00:28:07,952
but, well,
I had a delivery
to take care of.
458
00:28:07,952 --> 00:28:13,458
A delivery?
Yes, a pregnant yak
went into labor.
459
00:28:13,458 --> 00:28:17,462
Oh, but I'll spare you
the gory details.
Oh, no, please.
460
00:28:17,462 --> 00:28:20,465
Tell me
what happened.
461
00:28:20,465 --> 00:28:22,967
They were twins.
Oh.
462
00:28:22,967 --> 00:28:25,970
Two of them.
We tried to reach
the bull,
463
00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:28,973
but...
he was out grazing.
464
00:28:28,973 --> 00:28:32,477
Oh, Farciferous,
you are so brave.
465
00:28:32,477 --> 00:28:35,480
[ Laughs ]
Not at all.
466
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:39,984
It's what any extraordinary man
in my position would've done.
Oh.
467
00:28:40,485 --> 00:28:44,989
But enough about me.
I've got a little surprise
for you.
468
00:28:46,491 --> 00:28:48,493
Now, sit down right here.
469
00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:53,998
[ Gasps ]
For me?
[ Laughs ]
470
00:28:54,499 --> 00:28:56,501
Oh!
May I?
471
00:28:56,501 --> 00:28:59,921
Uh-huh.
[ Gasps ] Ohh!
[ Laughs ]
472
00:29:01,423 --> 00:29:03,425
Ohh!
473
00:29:12,917 --> 00:29:16,421
Mmm!
[ Laughs ]
474
00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,923
Sprinkles,
my favorite.
475
00:29:18,923 --> 00:29:20,909
[ Laughs ]
476
00:29:24,362 --> 00:29:26,865
[ Gulps ]
477
00:29:29,634 --> 00:29:31,619
[ Gasps ]
478
00:29:31,619 --> 00:29:34,622
Give me some sugar,
baby.
479
00:29:34,622 --> 00:29:38,126
[ Moaning ]
480
00:29:39,994 --> 00:29:41,746
[ Sighs ]
[ Loud Slap ]
481
00:29:45,533 --> 00:29:47,035
Oh!
482
00:29:47,519 --> 00:29:52,423
Fricasseed squab,
my favorite.
Leave us.
483
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:59,664
You are the most
incredible woman
I've ever met.
484
00:29:59,664 --> 00:30:04,486
You're not just a dancer.
You're an... artiste.
485
00:30:04,486 --> 00:30:06,471
Oh, Gekkie.
486
00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:09,340
You're such a talker.
[ Giggles ]
487
00:30:09,340 --> 00:30:12,911
I...
have something for you.
488
00:30:14,412 --> 00:30:16,414
No.
[ Chuckles ]
489
00:30:24,422 --> 00:30:27,859
They're a family heirloom.
490
00:30:27,859 --> 00:30:30,361
I want you to have them.
491
00:30:38,870 --> 00:30:42,874
Oh, Gekkus,
I-- I don't know what to say.
492
00:30:42,874 --> 00:30:46,344
[ Sobs ]
You're the first man...
493
00:30:46,344 --> 00:30:50,348
who's ever given me
his family jewels.
494
00:30:50,348 --> 00:30:54,302
There's plenty more
where they came from.
495
00:30:55,587 --> 00:30:58,089
Oh.
496
00:30:58,089 --> 00:31:00,558
[ Moaning ]
497
00:31:04,062 --> 00:31:05,997
Oh.
498
00:31:07,498 --> 00:31:10,001
Cupcake, ha-have I
done something wrong?
499
00:31:10,501 --> 00:31:12,503
[ Sniffles ]
No.
500
00:31:12,503 --> 00:31:15,006
You've done everything right.
501
00:31:15,006 --> 00:31:18,509
Then what's the matter?
502
00:31:18,509 --> 00:31:21,012
[ Sobbing ]
I'm so...
503
00:31:21,512 --> 00:31:23,514
happy.
504
00:31:23,514 --> 00:31:26,517
I'd hate
to see you depressed.
505
00:31:26,517 --> 00:31:30,021
[ Sobbing ]
I never thought
a sm-small-town girl like me...
506
00:31:30,021 --> 00:31:34,525
would be lucky enough
to find a swell guy like you.
[ Sniffles ]
507
00:31:34,525 --> 00:31:37,528
Most men lie and steal...
508
00:31:38,029 --> 00:31:41,032
and lead double lives.
509
00:31:41,532 --> 00:31:45,036
But it's different
with you.
It is?
510
00:31:46,537 --> 00:31:49,540
I feel like
I can trust you.
511
00:31:49,540 --> 00:31:51,542
You do.
512
00:31:52,010 --> 00:31:55,914
Oh, I may not be
the smartest girl
in the world, Farciferous.
513
00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:58,416
But if you gave me
half a chance,
514
00:31:58,416 --> 00:32:01,903
I know I could
make you happy.
515
00:32:01,903 --> 00:32:04,405
I'm yours.
516
00:32:07,375 --> 00:32:12,847
What's the matter?
Cupcake,
517
00:32:12,847 --> 00:32:15,350
I think I...
518
00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:19,354
respect you.
519
00:32:19,354 --> 00:32:22,323
Me too.
520
00:32:22,323 --> 00:32:24,275
Good.
521
00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:27,278
Because, I--
522
00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:29,280
I really have to go.
523
00:32:38,122 --> 00:32:41,109
Did you enjoy your dinner,
my darling?
524
00:32:42,593 --> 00:32:44,595
Yes, thank you.
525
00:32:44,595 --> 00:32:47,598
But I really
should be getting back
to the theater now.
526
00:32:47,598 --> 00:32:52,236
Oh, but you'll miss
the best part--
527
00:32:52,236 --> 00:32:54,689
[ Dishes Clattering ]
[ Gasping ]
528
00:32:54,689 --> 00:32:57,508
dessert.
529
00:32:57,508 --> 00:33:00,962
[ Whimpers ]
I don't eat dessert
on the first date.
530
00:33:00,962 --> 00:33:04,449
I must have you.
But you don't know
anything about me.
531
00:33:04,449 --> 00:33:06,934
I know enough.
I know I love you.
532
00:33:06,934 --> 00:33:09,253
[ Gasps, Cries Out ]
533
00:33:09,253 --> 00:33:11,756
No!
[ Muttering ]
534
00:33:11,756 --> 00:33:15,727
I'm not that kind of girl!
I don't care
what kinda girl you are.
535
00:33:16,227 --> 00:33:18,229
All I care about is us.
536
00:33:18,229 --> 00:33:22,233
And now my no-good brother
is out of the way--
we can have the world.
537
00:33:22,233 --> 00:33:26,521
But I thought
you loved your brother.
Loved him? I loathed him.
538
00:33:28,256 --> 00:33:32,710
Having him killed
was my greatest triumph.
539
00:33:32,710 --> 00:33:35,179
[ Giggles ]
Now, kiss me
before I explode!
540
00:33:35,179 --> 00:33:37,515
[ Cries Out ]
541
00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:42,437
Does this mean
we still can't be friends?
542
00:33:48,476 --> 00:33:50,478
Salmoneus?
543
00:33:51,979 --> 00:33:53,481
Where are ya?
544
00:33:54,982 --> 00:33:58,486
Well, at least
one of us got lucky.
[ Knocking ]
545
00:33:59,987 --> 00:34:02,840
- [ High-pitched ]
Who is it?
- It's Cupcake.
546
00:34:03,341 --> 00:34:06,327
- I need to talk to you.
- Uh, ju-just a minute.
547
00:34:07,612 --> 00:34:09,914
[ Running Footsteps ]
548
00:34:09,914 --> 00:34:12,417
Why, Cupcake,
what's the matter?
549
00:34:12,417 --> 00:34:16,921
[ Sobbing ]
Oh, Autolyca.
I don't know what I did wrong.
550
00:34:16,921 --> 00:34:21,926
He just left me.
[ Sobbing ]
Oh, there, there, dear.
551
00:34:21,926 --> 00:34:24,429
I guess I was stupid
to think that...
552
00:34:24,429 --> 00:34:26,931
someone like that
could love me.
553
00:34:26,931 --> 00:34:30,401
Now, you listen to me,
Cupcake.
554
00:34:30,401 --> 00:34:32,904
There is nothing wrong
with you.
[ Chuckles ]
555
00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:35,907
Your heart's as big
as they come, and if
he can't see what I see,
556
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:38,910
then...
he doesn't deserve you.
557
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:42,914
Oh, you're so good
to me, Autolyca.
558
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:46,918
Why, you're
the best friend
I ever had.
559
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,924
Cupcake,
there'ssomething
I should tell you.
560
00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:57,879
Oh!
Well, well, well.
561
00:34:57,879 --> 00:34:59,881
I should compliment you
on your fashion sense.
562
00:34:59,881 --> 00:35:01,883
You almost had me fooled--
almost.
563
00:35:01,883 --> 00:35:06,788
Who are you?
You just don't know
when to quit, do you?
564
00:35:07,288 --> 00:35:09,791
I had you
pegged as a guy
from the get-go.
565
00:35:09,791 --> 00:35:12,527
[ Grunts ]
Ow! Let go of me!
[ Hair Ripping ]
566
00:35:12,527 --> 00:35:16,030
All right, cut it out.
It's me you want.
567
00:35:17,431 --> 00:35:21,369
- [ Gasps, Groans ]
- I'm sorry, Cupcake. I--
568
00:35:21,369 --> 00:35:24,589
- I tried to tell ya.
- Take 'em to my castle,
569
00:35:24,589 --> 00:35:26,591
and summon
the executioner.
570
00:35:26,591 --> 00:35:29,477
Ugh, get your hands off me.
Ugh!
571
00:35:29,477 --> 00:35:33,748
[ Sighs ]
I never meant to hurt you,
Cupcake, honest.
572
00:35:33,748 --> 00:35:36,751
[ Scoffs ]
"Honest,"
that's a laugh.
573
00:35:36,751 --> 00:35:39,253
Aren'tyou
the heartbreaker?
Me? What about you?
574
00:35:39,253 --> 00:35:41,255
If you'd been a better date,
we wouldn't be in this mess.
575
00:35:41,756 --> 00:35:44,258
If I'd been a better date, I'd
be picking up a wedding dress.
Would that be so bad?
576
00:35:44,258 --> 00:35:46,260
Some people
struggle their whole lives
to find love.
577
00:35:46,260 --> 00:35:49,263
I'm just not ready for
that kind of commitment,
okay?
578
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,649
[ Cupcake ]
Will you two shut up?
[ Salmoneus ] He started it.
579
00:35:51,649 --> 00:35:55,636
If I could just
reach under my skirt.
Youaredesperate.
580
00:36:02,143 --> 00:36:05,646
I just stopped by
to tell you;
you'll be dead shortly.
581
00:36:05,646 --> 00:36:08,149
Leave the girl
out of this, will ya?
It's us you want.
582
00:36:08,149 --> 00:36:12,403
Yeah, she doesn't know
you killed your brother
and set us up for the fall.
583
00:36:12,403 --> 00:36:15,756
Oops.
Listen, from now on,
whatever instinct you have,
584
00:36:15,756 --> 00:36:20,678
- do the opposite.
- I set you up,
because you are an idiot.
585
00:36:20,678 --> 00:36:23,130
You just happened
to be in the wrong place
at the wrong time,
586
00:36:23,130 --> 00:36:25,132
which makes you
an idiot too.
587
00:36:25,550 --> 00:36:27,552
[ Scoffing Chuckle ]
You're tellin' me.
588
00:36:27,552 --> 00:36:31,539
Well, enough chat.
589
00:36:31,539 --> 00:36:33,774
Time to die.
590
00:36:33,774 --> 00:36:37,028
Now would be a good time
for some moves.
Aw, keep your skirt on.
591
00:36:44,452 --> 00:36:46,871
- Kill them!
-[ Ropes Straining ]
592
00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:49,574
[ Yells ]
593
00:36:51,475 --> 00:36:53,895
- [ Grunting ]
-[ Cupcake ]
Watch out!
594
00:36:53,895 --> 00:36:56,664
[ Yelling ]
595
00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:59,317
[ Yells ]
[ Soldiers Groaning ]
596
00:36:59,317 --> 00:37:01,285
[ Gekkus Grunting, Groaning ]
597
00:37:02,687 --> 00:37:05,890
- [ Grunting, Yelling ]
- [ Groaning ]
598
00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:08,242
Come on!
[ Grunting ]
599
00:37:08,242 --> 00:37:10,678
[ Cupcake ]
Come on! Let's go!
May I?
600
00:37:10,678 --> 00:37:12,680
Ugh!
You may.
601
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,682
Come on!
Nahhh!
602
00:37:15,132 --> 00:37:19,020
[ Cupcake ] Hurry!
[ Gekkus Groans ]
After them!
603
00:37:19,020 --> 00:37:23,741
Oh. Now then, girls.
We're a few short,
so I'm going to improvise.
604
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:27,245
Now then,
[ Audience:
Lecherous Chatter ]
605
00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:31,749
I want to see those legs
high in the air...
but not too far apart.
606
00:37:31,749 --> 00:37:34,752
Come on.
Ooh!
Ohh!
607
00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:38,539
[ Laughing, Shouting ]
608
00:37:38,539 --> 00:37:40,942
Oh!
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh.
609
00:37:42,893 --> 00:37:45,796
[ Audience Clamoring ]
Ooh.
610
00:37:48,249 --> 00:37:51,252
Ooh. Uh-uh-uhh.
611
00:37:51,252 --> 00:37:53,254
Ooh! Oh!
612
00:37:55,256 --> 00:37:57,258
Ah!
613
00:38:00,261 --> 00:38:02,263
Oh-ooh-ooh.
Aha!
614
00:38:02,747 --> 00:38:06,250
[ Cheering, Shouting ]
I think we lost 'em.
615
00:38:06,250 --> 00:38:08,252
Yeah?
You thinktheyknow that?
616
00:38:08,252 --> 00:38:10,638
- [ Grunting ]
- [ Salmoneus, Cupcake Whimper ]
617
00:38:11,989 --> 00:38:14,875
Well, boys,
any more bright ideas?
618
00:38:14,875 --> 00:38:19,780
- [ Yelling, Grunting ]
- [ Dancers Squealing ]
619
00:38:19,780 --> 00:38:21,782
Ohh! That hurt.
620
00:38:22,283 --> 00:38:24,585
- dddd [ Dissonant Organ Note ]
- There they are!
621
00:38:24,585 --> 00:38:26,971
It's about time
you gentlemen showed up.
You knew we were men?
622
00:38:26,971 --> 00:38:28,973
Oh! Stuck out
like a sore thumb.
623
00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:31,075
[ Soldiers Growling, Grunting ]
624
00:38:31,859 --> 00:38:34,145
- Ooh, ooh! Wah!
- [ Soldier ] Ow!
625
00:38:35,379 --> 00:38:37,982
[ Soldier Yelling ]
Get him!
626
00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:40,685
- [ Autolycus Grunts ]
- [ Soldier Groans ]
627
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,106
dddd [ Continues ]
628
00:38:45,106 --> 00:38:48,075
- [ Whimpers ]
- [ Yelling ]
629
00:38:48,075 --> 00:38:50,077
[ Screaming ]
630
00:38:50,077 --> 00:38:52,530
- [ Autolycus Yelling ]
- [ Helmet Clangs ]
631
00:38:52,530 --> 00:38:55,416
- Yahhh!
- dddd [ Jazzy ]
632
00:38:55,416 --> 00:38:58,936
- [ Bellowing ]
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
633
00:38:58,936 --> 00:39:01,939
[ Squeals, Falsetto Yells ]
634
00:39:03,624 --> 00:39:06,844
- [ Cheering ]
- [ Soldiers Groaning ]
635
00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:09,730
[ Yelling ]
636
00:39:09,730 --> 00:39:12,400
[ Yelling, Chattering ]
637
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,885
[ Cheering ]
Whoo!
638
00:39:16,871 --> 00:39:21,308
[ Yelling ]
Ooh!
[ Yelling ]
639
00:39:21,308 --> 00:39:24,045
[ Laughs ]
[ Soldiers Groan ]
640
00:39:24,045 --> 00:39:28,849
- Haa!
- [ Soldier Grunting ]
641
00:39:29,350 --> 00:39:31,736
Hyah!
[ Groans ]
642
00:39:33,137 --> 00:39:35,489
dddd [ Continues ]
643
00:39:40,177 --> 00:39:43,080
- What? [ Groaning ]
- [ Rope Whipping ]
644
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:44,915
[ Screaming ]
645
00:39:46,183 --> 00:39:50,604
Ooh!
[ Whooping Yells ]
646
00:39:51,822 --> 00:39:54,258
[ Cheering ]
647
00:39:54,759 --> 00:39:57,244
Help!
648
00:39:57,244 --> 00:39:59,230
Oh, well, I think that
just about does it.
649
00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:02,850
- Ohh!
-[ Cupcake ] Uhh!
- Nobody move!
650
00:40:02,850 --> 00:40:06,387
- Or I cut the cake.
- Wait, don't hurt her.
651
00:40:06,387 --> 00:40:08,806
- Um, take us, instead.
- What are you, nuts?
652
00:40:08,806 --> 00:40:10,858
Not another step.
[ Groans ]
653
00:40:11,358 --> 00:40:14,712
- He's a maniac.
He killed the king.
- [ Booing ]
654
00:40:14,712 --> 00:40:16,964
No! No, it's not true.
655
00:40:16,964 --> 00:40:20,468
I loved my brother. He--
He was like family to me.
656
00:40:20,468 --> 00:40:23,220
Ugh! Men!
[ Grunts ]
Ooh!
657
00:40:23,220 --> 00:40:25,439
[ Audience Applauds ]
658
00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:30,978
- [ Yells ]
- [ Cries Out, Groans ]
659
00:40:31,362 --> 00:40:34,315
[ Cheering ]
660
00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:37,234
[ Ovation Continues ]
Oh!
661
00:40:40,237 --> 00:40:43,240
[ Whistles, Cheers ]
662
00:40:47,745 --> 00:40:50,664
[ Chuckles ]
663
00:40:51,165 --> 00:40:53,167
Mmm-mwah!
[ Sputters ]
664
00:40:53,167 --> 00:40:56,170
[ Ovation Continues ]
665
00:41:07,615 --> 00:41:09,617
[ Groans ]
666
00:41:12,620 --> 00:41:16,624
Enjoy your stay.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Growls ]
667
00:41:27,635 --> 00:41:30,638
Cupcake, um,
668
00:41:30,638 --> 00:41:32,640
I know there's nothing
I could ever say to make up...
669
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,643
for what I've done, and,
670
00:41:35,643 --> 00:41:39,647
well, you have
no reason to believe
a louse like me, but...
671
00:41:39,647 --> 00:41:42,149
when I told you
I didn't deserve you,
672
00:41:42,149 --> 00:41:45,152
I, um,
well, I meant it.
673
00:41:47,588 --> 00:41:49,590
Well,
674
00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:52,593
it was interesting
knowing you.
675
00:41:56,096 --> 00:41:58,098
Cupcake,
676
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,986
the guy
you're looking for
is out there.
677
00:42:02,987 --> 00:42:05,489
I know you'll find him.
678
00:42:06,457 --> 00:42:08,459
Who knows?
679
00:42:08,959 --> 00:42:13,464
Maybe you'll be
that guy... some day.
680
00:42:19,420 --> 00:42:21,422
[ Clears Throat ]
681
00:42:21,422 --> 00:42:25,292
I feel like such a fool.
I thought he liked me for me.
Mmm.
682
00:42:25,292 --> 00:42:27,795
Men, they're only
interested in one thing.
Mm-hm-hmm.
683
00:42:27,795 --> 00:42:32,800
I never thought I'd say this,
but I feel so-- so...used.
684
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,803
Oh, well,
never mind, love.
I mean, it's his loss.
685
00:42:35,803 --> 00:42:39,306
Actually, uh,
it is.
Oh!
686
00:42:39,306 --> 00:42:41,809
[ Both Laugh ]
687
00:42:43,310 --> 00:42:46,313
Question-- Uh,
if you knew that we were men,
why'd you play along?
688
00:42:46,814 --> 00:42:49,316
Well, I think all men
should walk a mile
in women's shoes.
689
00:42:49,316 --> 00:42:52,319
They might learn
a thing or two.
Don't you agree, sonny?
690
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,822
You said it,
Twank.
Ohh!
691
00:42:54,822 --> 00:42:57,825
Actually,
my feet are killin' me.
Well, gotta run.
692
00:42:57,825 --> 00:42:59,710
Well, good-bye, boys.
And remember,
693
00:43:00,210 --> 00:43:02,146
I'll always keep
a warm spot open for you.
694
00:43:02,146 --> 00:43:04,598
You come back anytime.
695
00:43:07,101 --> 00:43:08,602
You never know.
696
00:43:11,105 --> 00:43:13,607
[ Mouths Farewell,
Sighs ]
55135
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