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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:32,414 Junior, this is kind of a sentimental moment. 2 00:00:32,588 --> 00:00:35,459 Cold River is where I was born and raised. 3 00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:37,922 Everyone I know is here. 4 00:00:38,094 --> 00:00:40,420 Got fond memories of this place. 5 00:00:40,597 --> 00:00:43,088 Fond memories? What are you talking about? 6 00:00:43,266 --> 00:00:46,718 Everybody hated you. Your father, your wife, 7 00:00:46,895 --> 00:00:49,469 those horrible neighbours... 8 00:00:50,399 --> 00:00:52,475 You're right. Let's blow this joint! 9 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,859 Yah! Whoo-ha! 10 00:01:02,288 --> 00:01:05,491 When the pressure's on and you're all alone 11 00:01:07,251 --> 00:01:10,336 Take a little ride into the danger zone 12 00:01:11,673 --> 00:01:14,543 When the moon is high And the skies are clear 13 00:01:16,261 --> 00:01:19,381 Just show me a sign and we'll be outta here 14 00:01:19,556 --> 00:01:23,471 Take me up on a wing and a prayer... 15 00:01:23,686 --> 00:01:25,263 Look. 16 00:01:25,437 --> 00:01:29,518 If you need a friend, you know... I'll be there 17 00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:35,270 Hound dogs howlin' all through the night 18 00:01:37,492 --> 00:01:40,197 Eight miles high and I'm doin' all right 19 00:01:42,289 --> 00:01:45,076 Better move over 'Cause you're goin' too slow 20 00:01:46,793 --> 00:01:49,749 I feel the need for freedom Now it's time to go 21 00:01:49,923 --> 00:01:53,090 It's a fine line between pleasure and pain 22 00:01:55,095 --> 00:01:59,971 Let your conscience be your guide Till we meet again 23 00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:04,975 Your time has come You can stand or you can run 24 00:02:06,274 --> 00:02:09,477 But don't keep it all inside 25 00:02:10,278 --> 00:02:14,821 'Cause you gotta understand That there ain't no second chance 26 00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:19,863 No one gets outta here alive Only the strong survive... 27 00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,631 We're finally here. 28 00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:42,848 Take me up on a wing and a prayer 29 00:02:43,981 --> 00:02:49,736 If you need someone, you know... I'll be there 30 00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:54,282 Your time has come You can stand or you can run 31 00:02:55,744 --> 00:02:58,615 But don't keep it all inside 32 00:02:58,789 --> 00:03:03,451 'Cause you gotta understand That there ain't no second chance 33 00:03:03,627 --> 00:03:08,871 No one gets outta here alive Only the strong survive... 34 00:03:13,012 --> 00:03:15,136 Only the strong survive... 35 00:03:15,307 --> 00:03:17,976 - Is it the one with the yellow roof? - No. 36 00:03:19,811 --> 00:03:23,892 - Is it the one with the purple flowers? - No. 37 00:03:24,066 --> 00:03:26,771 The one with the "Sold" sign in the yard? 38 00:03:26,944 --> 00:03:28,604 Bingo! 39 00:03:28,779 --> 00:03:31,568 Only the strong survive 40 00:03:35,162 --> 00:03:37,618 Dad, come on. Let's go. Quick! 41 00:03:41,043 --> 00:03:43,535 Oh, my God! 42 00:03:43,713 --> 00:03:46,548 - Look at that hunk. - Hubba hubba. 43 00:03:47,592 --> 00:03:50,961 And the realtor says he's single. 44 00:03:51,137 --> 00:03:53,130 Single?! 45 00:03:53,306 --> 00:03:55,383 - What do you think, Junior? - Great. 46 00:03:55,559 --> 00:03:58,015 Come on! Quick, Dad! 47 00:03:58,187 --> 00:04:02,232 Whoa! Totally awesome! 48 00:04:02,399 --> 00:04:05,235 - Radical! - You like it? 49 00:04:05,403 --> 00:04:08,606 Wow! It's fantastic! 50 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:11,189 Wait till you see your bedroom. 51 00:04:12,035 --> 00:04:13,410 Yee-ha! 52 00:04:13,578 --> 00:04:16,994 - Home, sweet home! - Yeah, that's right! 53 00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:19,952 This place is gigantic. 54 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,749 You could play football in here. 55 00:04:22,922 --> 00:04:25,460 - Hit me, I'm open. - Here's the bomb. OK... 56 00:04:25,634 --> 00:04:28,718 So here we are, starting our new life. 57 00:04:28,887 --> 00:04:31,461 It's nice having a guy who loves me. 58 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:35,638 Usually, people take one look and run screaming for the hills. 59 00:04:35,811 --> 00:04:41,150 You know, I think me and Dad are gonna do all right together. 60 00:04:41,317 --> 00:04:44,104 Should I spike you? No, it's illegal to spike kids. 61 00:04:44,278 --> 00:04:46,355 Come here, buddy. It's just you and me, Junior. 62 00:04:47,782 --> 00:04:49,858 Hang on a second. Somebody's at the door. 63 00:04:51,995 --> 00:04:54,866 Hi, I wanted to welcome you to our little neighbourhood 64 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,116 so I baked you a... 65 00:04:57,292 --> 00:04:59,997 ...cherry pie. 66 00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:04,168 That's so sweet. Look, Junior. She baked us a cherry pie. 67 00:05:04,342 --> 00:05:06,714 How thoughtful. 68 00:05:07,887 --> 00:05:10,592 All right! First and ten! 69 00:05:11,307 --> 00:05:13,384 Junior! What are you doing? 70 00:05:13,561 --> 00:05:16,645 I want you to apologise to this kind lady. 71 00:05:18,357 --> 00:05:21,643 Oh! You're even better-looking up close. 72 00:05:22,695 --> 00:05:24,071 Excuse me. 73 00:05:28,785 --> 00:05:30,363 What?! 74 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:35,745 - Dad, what about football? - Thank you. 75 00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:39,583 We can play later. Don't you want to meet these wonderful ladies? 76 00:05:39,755 --> 00:05:43,089 Out of the way, girls! Oh, thank God! Another man! 77 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:46,628 Another Joe I can talk to. 78 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:48,762 I'm going crazy living here. 79 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:53,179 You know, Mortville. The divorcee capital of the world. 80 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:58,265 Anyway, we're having a barbecue. So I thought I'd be neighbourly and invite you over. 81 00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:01,728 I'm Aron Burger, I live next door. 82 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:05,820 My name is Ben Healy and this is my son, Junior. 83 00:06:07,744 --> 00:06:11,410 Funny-looking kid. Anyway, we'll take this with us. 84 00:06:11,582 --> 00:06:14,868 Well, neighbour, what do you think of my cooker? 85 00:06:15,044 --> 00:06:18,247 - Very... large. - You bet. 86 00:06:18,423 --> 00:06:22,171 Cost me a whole month's paycheck, but it's worth it. 87 00:06:23,553 --> 00:06:26,839 You're not impressed. I guess your wife does the cooking. 88 00:06:27,015 --> 00:06:29,257 No, I'm... not married, actually. 89 00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:31,308 We... broke up. 90 00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:34,728 And you got the kid? Bad deal! 91 00:06:34,898 --> 00:06:37,105 Did you get screwed! 92 00:06:37,276 --> 00:06:39,945 This neighbourhood has a move-in fee. 93 00:06:40,112 --> 00:06:43,030 You have to give each of us ten dollars. 94 00:06:43,199 --> 00:06:47,660 20 bucks?! I'm not giving you diddly-squat. 95 00:06:47,829 --> 00:06:50,664 Pay us or leave! 96 00:06:50,832 --> 00:06:56,836 And with a 50-1 chick to stud ratio in this town, you gotta get started. 97 00:06:57,006 --> 00:07:00,376 Dad, can we go? These people are real dicks. 98 00:07:00,552 --> 00:07:04,419 Well, excuse me, Your Highness. 99 00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:08,643 I didn't realise that simple little me and my simple little family 100 00:07:08,811 --> 00:07:12,227 weren't good enough for your high and mighty tastes. 101 00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:17,025 Hey, I should go and slip on my silk tuxedo 102 00:07:17,195 --> 00:07:22,355 and then we can trot out the champagne and the escargots. 103 00:07:22,534 --> 00:07:26,069 Junior. Try to be polite. We're his guests. 104 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,657 OK, Dad. 105 00:07:27,831 --> 00:07:31,247 - I'm sorry about that. - It's all right. 106 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,253 We've taken a long trip and he's just a little tired. 107 00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:37,588 My girls are the same way. Brats. 108 00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:46,216 Healy, go make yourself useful. 109 00:07:46,392 --> 00:07:49,015 Get some more barbecue sauce from the little woman. 110 00:07:49,188 --> 00:07:52,142 Barbecue sauce. Sure thing, neighbour. 111 00:07:56,821 --> 00:08:00,237 Here's to the start of a beautiful meal. 112 00:08:06,164 --> 00:08:07,873 Damn. 113 00:08:13,464 --> 00:08:15,540 This one's not getting away. 114 00:08:18,553 --> 00:08:20,130 Gotcha! 115 00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:51,582 - My first day of school. - I'm so proud of you. 116 00:08:51,756 --> 00:08:53,795 You're such a good girl. 117 00:08:54,842 --> 00:08:58,294 Junior, get out of this car. You are going to school! 118 00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,594 No way! I'd rather eat a turd. 119 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,476 Junior, 120 00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:07,593 third grade is the foundation of a great education. 121 00:09:07,773 --> 00:09:10,774 If you don't go, you'll only hurt yourself. 122 00:09:10,943 --> 00:09:13,315 I'll take a couple others down with me. 123 00:09:13,487 --> 00:09:15,112 Junior, 124 00:09:15,281 --> 00:09:18,946 I am your father and you'll do as I say! 125 00:09:19,118 --> 00:09:20,992 Now, come on. 126 00:09:26,293 --> 00:09:28,250 Now look what you've done. 127 00:09:31,507 --> 00:09:33,299 Get over here. 128 00:09:33,468 --> 00:09:37,217 Take this. Goodbye and good luck. 129 00:09:47,399 --> 00:09:50,436 It's his first day, he's a little nervous. 130 00:09:58,620 --> 00:09:59,995 It's him. 131 00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:06,660 Yes, changing careers was the smartest thing I ever did. 132 00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:10,288 Yes, oh, yeah! Because I love being the principal. 133 00:10:10,466 --> 00:10:13,383 Because I hate children. I hate them. 134 00:10:13,552 --> 00:10:16,008 Being a principal's great, 'cause I hate children. 135 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:18,256 I bark, they do what I say. 136 00:10:18,433 --> 00:10:21,138 Anything. Crawl around on all fours. They do that. 137 00:10:21,311 --> 00:10:25,096 Would you mind jumping out of the window? OK, sure. 138 00:10:25,274 --> 00:10:27,148 Out they go. Anything. 139 00:10:27,318 --> 00:10:30,770 Principal Peabody, there's a new student to see you. 140 00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:33,438 I'll have to call you back. 141 00:10:33,616 --> 00:10:37,994 I have to deal with one of the little weenies right now. 142 00:10:38,163 --> 00:10:40,405 OK, call you back. 143 00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:43,998 Send the little sweetheart in. 144 00:10:52,345 --> 00:10:55,512 Hey, pea-brain. What are you doing here? 145 00:10:55,682 --> 00:10:58,054 What am I doing here? What are you doing here? 146 00:10:58,226 --> 00:11:01,761 I belong here. You belong in Cold River. 147 00:11:01,938 --> 00:11:04,726 This is Mortville. What are you doing here? 148 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:08,898 You're not here. That's it. That's the only answer. You're not here. 149 00:11:09,071 --> 00:11:13,318 You're not here. I'm imagining you. You're a figment of my imagination. 150 00:11:13,492 --> 00:11:18,156 If I was a figment of your imagination, could I do this? 151 00:11:18,332 --> 00:11:21,119 Oh! 152 00:11:22,878 --> 00:11:25,714 Did something crawl in here and die?! 153 00:11:25,881 --> 00:11:28,799 You disgusting kid! 154 00:11:28,968 --> 00:11:32,218 You disgusting, flatulating kid! 155 00:11:32,388 --> 00:11:36,801 Whoa! I just had a new paint job, too. This is horrible. 156 00:11:36,977 --> 00:11:39,183 - What grade are you in? - Third. 157 00:11:39,354 --> 00:11:42,190 Third. That means you're here for another four years. 158 00:11:42,357 --> 00:11:46,605 This is a mistake. This is a big mistake, 'cause you are a genius. 159 00:11:46,779 --> 00:11:48,985 You are so intelligent. 160 00:11:49,156 --> 00:11:52,111 Anyone who can break wind like that has to have a mind. 161 00:11:52,285 --> 00:11:55,037 So I'm gonna pass you on to the sixth grade. 162 00:11:55,204 --> 00:11:57,992 In one year, you're gonna be in another school. 163 00:11:58,166 --> 00:12:02,544 My dad says third grade is the foundation of my education. 164 00:12:02,712 --> 00:12:06,628 Your dad says that. Your dad is a moron! 165 00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:08,260 He's a moron! 166 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,382 Know what a moron is? That's what your dad is. 167 00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:15,934 Anyway, you don't belong here. You belong in the sixth grade. 168 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,724 That's where you are, because you're a genius, kid. 169 00:12:18,897 --> 00:12:20,605 A genius. 170 00:12:24,028 --> 00:12:26,982 Sixth grade? Wow! 171 00:12:27,156 --> 00:12:30,656 I should fart in more people's offices. 172 00:12:42,422 --> 00:12:46,373 Oh, no, not another one. How many kids are they gonna make me teach? 173 00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:50,971 Get in there and find a seat. Hustle, small fry. 174 00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:55,008 I'm not gonna have you hold up my class all year. Move it. 175 00:12:55,186 --> 00:12:57,394 Let's start with a nice easy review 176 00:12:57,565 --> 00:13:01,479 to see how much you under-achievers remember from last year. 177 00:13:01,652 --> 00:13:03,526 Polly, what's 17 times 8? 178 00:13:03,696 --> 00:13:06,270 - 136. - Good. 179 00:13:06,449 --> 00:13:09,699 Richard, what's 72 divided by negative 9? 180 00:13:09,869 --> 00:13:11,827 - Negative 8, sir. - Fine. 181 00:13:11,997 --> 00:13:13,621 Murph. 182 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:17,157 Murph. What's three plus two? 183 00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,131 Four. 184 00:13:25,261 --> 00:13:27,633 You've been in the sixth grade since I started here. 185 00:13:27,805 --> 00:13:30,806 I really want to get you out this year. 186 00:13:30,975 --> 00:13:34,925 Please work with me. What's three plus two? 187 00:13:36,064 --> 00:13:37,606 Nine? 188 00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:42,233 This is gonna be a long year. 189 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:44,231 Five, all right? The answer's five. 190 00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:45,817 You! 191 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:49,578 - What are you saying? - I said five. 192 00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:55,498 I'm glad somebody's paying attention. Polly, pass out the workbooks. 193 00:13:55,669 --> 00:14:00,581 I'm gonna rummage in the storage closet, see if I can find something for Murph. 194 00:14:19,403 --> 00:14:22,321 Who let the baby into the sixth grade? 195 00:14:23,991 --> 00:14:25,450 What's in your bag? 196 00:14:26,536 --> 00:14:29,620 - Your diapers? - No, my lunch, pin- head. 197 00:14:33,042 --> 00:14:35,878 Little kid doesn't know who he's talking to. 198 00:14:36,046 --> 00:14:37,955 I'm senior student in this school. 199 00:14:38,131 --> 00:14:41,133 No shit, you've been here since 1970. 200 00:14:41,302 --> 00:14:43,544 Oh, you're gonna hurt! 201 00:14:52,397 --> 00:14:54,639 This is your last day of school. Ever. 202 00:15:22,096 --> 00:15:26,841 Maybe Dad's right. Maybe Mortville is gonna be a great place to live. 203 00:15:48,250 --> 00:15:49,625 Good morning, Miss Dumore. 204 00:15:49,793 --> 00:15:52,415 They missed a payment? Toss 'em in the street. 205 00:15:52,588 --> 00:15:55,672 But, ma'am, that's a nursing home. They're invalids. 206 00:15:55,841 --> 00:15:57,964 Oh, boo-hoo-hoo. 207 00:15:58,135 --> 00:16:00,805 Are we all set for that charity ball? 208 00:16:00,972 --> 00:16:05,966 Your tickets are confirmed, but Sergio says he needs money for a new tux. 209 00:16:06,144 --> 00:16:07,935 More money? 210 00:16:08,104 --> 00:16:11,308 I gave him two grand yesterday. 211 00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:13,725 These damned gigolos. 212 00:16:13,902 --> 00:16:16,607 Every man in Mortville wants to bleed me dry. 213 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:21,074 Why can't I just find a good, decent man? 214 00:16:21,243 --> 00:16:25,741 One with integrity, one with compassion, one with... 215 00:16:25,916 --> 00:16:29,119 Oh, my God! Who's that beefcake? 216 00:16:29,294 --> 00:16:31,833 I'm Ben Healy, we spoke on the phone. 217 00:16:32,006 --> 00:16:35,042 I don't know. I suppose he's a customer at the bank. 218 00:16:35,217 --> 00:16:37,376 Out of my way, fat boy. 219 00:16:37,553 --> 00:16:42,892 That's why I wanna start my own business. I wanna create something out of nothing. 220 00:16:43,059 --> 00:16:45,467 I don't just wanna take. I wanna give. 221 00:16:45,645 --> 00:16:48,563 I wanna put something back into the community. 222 00:16:51,485 --> 00:16:54,652 He's incredible. And he's just my type. 223 00:16:54,822 --> 00:16:58,191 Smith, I want you to find out everything about this guy. 224 00:16:58,367 --> 00:17:01,950 Because I think I've found myself hubby number seven! 225 00:17:11,006 --> 00:17:13,841 Hi. 226 00:17:20,976 --> 00:17:23,301 - Hey, Junior! - Hey, Dad! 227 00:17:23,478 --> 00:17:26,266 So, tell me, how was your first day at school? 228 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,978 Pretty good, they skipped me three grades. 229 00:17:29,151 --> 00:17:33,612 They skipped you? That's fantastic! I can't believe it! 230 00:17:33,781 --> 00:17:36,189 I told you you'd hit if off here. 231 00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:39,736 So, tell me. Did you make any new friends? 232 00:17:39,912 --> 00:17:44,409 Well, how would you define the word "friend"? 233 00:17:47,087 --> 00:17:50,290 - Aah! - Uh! 234 00:17:50,465 --> 00:17:52,542 Ow. 235 00:18:01,561 --> 00:18:03,103 Who are you? 236 00:18:03,271 --> 00:18:07,483 I'm Annie Young. I'm the nurse here at Mortville Elementary. 237 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:11,730 The children are very lucky. 238 00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:18,869 - I'm sorry. Let me... - It's OK. 239 00:18:19,038 --> 00:18:21,197 Oh, God. Excuse me. Here, I'll get... 240 00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:26,581 If you two are done fooling around, maybe we can go home? 241 00:18:26,755 --> 00:18:28,463 Yeah... 242 00:18:28,632 --> 00:18:33,674 Give me a few minutes, Junior. I think the swelling's coming back. 243 00:18:35,765 --> 00:18:37,971 I'll put a warm compress on that. 244 00:18:38,142 --> 00:18:40,301 You're such a good little soldier. 245 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,856 "Give me a few minutes, Junior." "Give me a few minutes, Junior." 246 00:18:47,027 --> 00:18:49,862 I've been here for an hour! 247 00:18:50,030 --> 00:18:52,568 Who does that nurse think she is? 248 00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:55,701 Mm... 249 00:18:55,869 --> 00:18:58,325 I wouldn't do that if I were you. 250 00:18:58,498 --> 00:19:00,740 Oh, it's you. Buzz off. 251 00:19:00,917 --> 00:19:04,287 I wouldn't do that if I were you. 252 00:19:05,047 --> 00:19:09,958 If I were you, I wouldn't do a lot of things. Like go out in public. 253 00:19:18,561 --> 00:19:21,847 Next time, you'll listen to me. 254 00:19:29,656 --> 00:19:32,148 Oh, my God, he's an Adonis! 255 00:19:32,326 --> 00:19:34,235 Look at these stats! 256 00:19:34,412 --> 00:19:36,155 Six feet tall. 257 00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:38,656 185 pounds. 258 00:19:38,833 --> 00:19:42,961 In-seam, 35 inches. Sweet Jesus, take me home! 259 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,294 What's this thing? 260 00:19:48,468 --> 00:19:50,047 His son. 261 00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:55,883 "Boy and convicted killer go on joyride"? 262 00:19:56,811 --> 00:20:00,430 "Little league team hospitalised"? 263 00:20:00,941 --> 00:20:04,642 "Union Carbide plant explodes"? 264 00:20:05,696 --> 00:20:07,356 This kid's a nightmare. 265 00:20:07,531 --> 00:20:09,987 Do you want to forget the whole thing? 266 00:20:10,159 --> 00:20:12,068 Smith... 267 00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,904 When someone has a bum leg, 268 00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:17,537 you don't shoot the patient. 269 00:20:17,709 --> 00:20:20,378 You just cut off the leg. 270 00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:28,296 That's why you want a franchise. Big Ben is the fastest - growing sports equipment empire. 271 00:20:28,470 --> 00:20:30,463 Hey, it's Big Ben. 272 00:20:30,639 --> 00:20:32,596 Pick up that phone and call now. 273 00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:36,183 For just $399, you can get one of my starter kits. 274 00:20:36,354 --> 00:20:40,932 Then you'll be on your way to having it all, just like me, Big Ben Healy. 275 00:20:41,109 --> 00:20:43,316 What's this? 276 00:20:44,488 --> 00:20:48,949 Look at this. What sort of idiot would send Grandpa money? 277 00:20:49,118 --> 00:20:51,111 That's my name 278 00:20:51,287 --> 00:20:54,372 - The old man's finally lost his mind. - Uh-huh. 279 00:20:54,791 --> 00:20:58,919 - Come downstairs. I got a surprise for you. - All right! A surprise? 280 00:20:59,087 --> 00:21:00,795 - Where is it? - Down the steps. 281 00:21:00,964 --> 00:21:03,669 Now, where is that surprise? 282 00:21:03,842 --> 00:21:06,049 - Surprise! - Hi, Junior! 283 00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:10,467 I'm Rhoda, your babysitter. We're gonna be good friends. 284 00:21:10,641 --> 00:21:13,393 Dad, let's slow this down a minute. 285 00:21:13,561 --> 00:21:15,767 Now, what is going on here? 286 00:21:15,939 --> 00:21:19,355 This is Rhoda, your babysitter. You're gonna be good friends. 287 00:21:19,526 --> 00:21:22,859 Yeah, I heard that part. But why? 288 00:21:23,029 --> 00:21:24,987 Yoo-hoo! 289 00:21:25,157 --> 00:21:27,149 Because I'm going out on a date. 290 00:21:27,951 --> 00:21:30,027 Hi, Ben. I'm all ready. 291 00:21:30,204 --> 00:21:33,954 Great. Junior, you remember Debbie Claukinski? 292 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:37,958 How can I forget? Her pie gave us the runs. 293 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:43,462 That's not true. He's thinking about someone else's pie. 294 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:47,930 Anyway, we don't want to be late. I got reservations at the Saint Pierre Club. 295 00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:53,224 Oh, I'm so excited! My ex-husband never took me to fancy places. 296 00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:58,355 Not that I'm a gal who rattles on about her last marriage. That guy is insanely jealous. 297 00:21:58,527 --> 00:22:01,018 Dad, stay here and have fun with me. 298 00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:03,272 Junior, you're gonna have fun with Rhoda. 299 00:22:03,449 --> 00:22:08,526 I'm sure you can think of a lot of fun games to play with her, OK? I'll talk to you later. 300 00:22:09,455 --> 00:22:12,824 Welcome to the wonderful world of pigs. 301 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,204 Dirty, hungry and always horny, 302 00:22:16,379 --> 00:22:19,879 they're Mother Nature's clowns of the farm world. 303 00:22:20,050 --> 00:22:23,585 Watching these charming critters roll in the mud, 304 00:22:23,762 --> 00:22:28,057 it's hard to believe they have an intelligence as high as some humans. 305 00:22:28,226 --> 00:22:30,302 But it's true. 306 00:22:31,771 --> 00:22:33,266 Goodnight, Dad. 307 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,109 Hey, brat. Put that back. I'm watching. 308 00:22:41,699 --> 00:22:43,941 This babysitter sucks. 309 00:22:44,118 --> 00:22:47,072 I gotta get Dad back on track here. 310 00:22:48,289 --> 00:22:52,239 I wonder whatever happened to Mr Claukinski? 311 00:23:03,764 --> 00:23:05,139 Hello? 312 00:23:05,307 --> 00:23:09,886 Are you the guy that was married to Debbie Claukinski? 313 00:23:10,062 --> 00:23:12,636 Yeah, but then she left me. 314 00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:18,646 She took my house, my money and my pride. 315 00:23:19,657 --> 00:23:23,702 Well, I thought you'd like to know that she found herself a new guy 316 00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:29,326 and they're out at the Saint Pierre Club, having fun at your expense. 317 00:23:29,501 --> 00:23:30,876 Who is this? 318 00:23:31,044 --> 00:23:33,998 Just call me a friend. 319 00:23:44,141 --> 00:23:45,968 Ben, this evening is perfect. 320 00:23:46,143 --> 00:23:50,224 I know why the Mortville Gazette gave this restaurant three and a half forks. 321 00:23:51,107 --> 00:23:54,607 - Excuse me, we have a dress code. - Let me in, you fool. 322 00:23:56,780 --> 00:23:58,903 To us. 323 00:23:59,074 --> 00:24:00,817 Tonight. 324 00:24:04,121 --> 00:24:06,279 Ah-ha! 325 00:24:06,457 --> 00:24:09,708 Debbie, you tramp! What are you doing here? 326 00:24:09,878 --> 00:24:12,548 I'm a free woman. I can do what I want. 327 00:24:12,714 --> 00:24:14,339 I show you. 328 00:24:16,093 --> 00:24:19,961 Debbie, you leave with me. Come, we take the bus home. 329 00:24:20,139 --> 00:24:22,891 Like hell I will. I'm on a date. 330 00:24:24,102 --> 00:24:27,435 You home-breaker! 331 00:24:30,525 --> 00:24:32,518 Oh, my kidney! 332 00:24:32,694 --> 00:24:34,853 You bully! 333 00:24:38,158 --> 00:24:40,863 Ben, shame on you! 334 00:24:42,371 --> 00:24:44,660 Laser cannon locked on. 335 00:24:45,708 --> 00:24:48,116 Fire laser cannon. 336 00:24:53,842 --> 00:24:56,511 Finally, Dad's home. 337 00:24:58,847 --> 00:25:02,134 - I thought you'd never get here. - Who's that weirdo? 338 00:25:02,310 --> 00:25:06,688 - Gee, baby, you work fast. - I got Russian hands and Roman fingers. 339 00:25:06,856 --> 00:25:09,312 Now where's that master bedroom? 340 00:25:09,484 --> 00:25:11,857 Here it is, darlin'! 341 00:25:13,447 --> 00:25:18,868 - This ain't no motel. - Mind your own beeswax, twerp. Go watch TV. 342 00:25:19,036 --> 00:25:21,527 Yeah, what she said. 343 00:25:36,221 --> 00:25:38,973 Voytek, you were always the best. 344 00:25:39,141 --> 00:25:40,683 Yeah. 345 00:25:42,353 --> 00:25:44,642 So much for my first date. 346 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:49,937 Now what? 347 00:25:50,111 --> 00:25:51,191 All right! 348 00:25:51,363 --> 00:25:54,115 Yeah... go! 349 00:25:56,702 --> 00:25:59,194 Yes! That's great! 350 00:25:59,372 --> 00:26:00,950 Look at that. 351 00:26:02,625 --> 00:26:05,461 I didn't think people could do that. 352 00:26:05,629 --> 00:26:08,120 She ain't no real blonde. 353 00:26:09,299 --> 00:26:11,588 Come on! 354 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,845 Keep it up, my God! 355 00:26:19,059 --> 00:26:21,764 - He's still going! - Unbelievable. 356 00:26:26,776 --> 00:26:28,354 Yeah, go for it! 357 00:26:28,528 --> 00:26:31,197 Healy, that's hot stuff. 358 00:26:34,576 --> 00:26:37,198 Junior, we're new here in this community. 359 00:26:37,371 --> 00:26:40,491 Can't we at least attempt to fit in? 360 00:26:40,666 --> 00:26:44,499 Why are you getting angry at me? I didn't do it, I watched it. 361 00:26:44,671 --> 00:26:47,423 Yes, and so did the entire neighbourhood. 362 00:26:47,591 --> 00:26:49,500 I didn't hear any complaints. 363 00:26:51,637 --> 00:26:55,053 Great. The evening that wouldn't die. 364 00:26:55,975 --> 00:26:57,350 What? 365 00:26:58,770 --> 00:27:00,846 There's two more outside. 366 00:27:01,022 --> 00:27:04,937 - Dad, what are you doing here? - I thought I'd spend my vacation with you. 367 00:27:05,110 --> 00:27:08,230 - Excuse me? - How did he find us? 368 00:27:09,156 --> 00:27:11,943 You rascal. I even brought Nippy. 369 00:27:12,117 --> 00:27:15,321 Hey, boy. Come here, Nip. 370 00:27:15,496 --> 00:27:17,572 Get this freak off me! Get! 371 00:27:17,748 --> 00:27:22,245 Don't scare him, for God's sakes. He's only trying to be friendly. 372 00:27:22,420 --> 00:27:25,706 - You know this dog is unbalanced. - Get him out of here. 373 00:27:25,882 --> 00:27:27,673 Nippy, stay. 374 00:27:28,426 --> 00:27:30,051 What is going on here? 375 00:27:30,220 --> 00:27:35,013 You never take vacations, and if you did you wouldn't spend them with me. 376 00:27:35,184 --> 00:27:36,976 Little Ben. 377 00:27:38,271 --> 00:27:41,189 Little Ben, you're my only son. 378 00:27:41,358 --> 00:27:45,438 - Dad, you hate me. - OK, you figured me out. 379 00:27:45,612 --> 00:27:47,854 - I'm not on vacation, I'm broke. - You're what? 380 00:27:48,031 --> 00:27:51,614 Chapter 11, my S and L crashed, my creditors are after me. 381 00:27:51,785 --> 00:27:56,033 - I gotta find a place to hide out. - Why don't you hide out somewhere else? 382 00:27:56,207 --> 00:27:59,658 Why don't you mind your own business? Nobody asked you. 383 00:27:59,836 --> 00:28:02,753 Wait, you can't be broke, we saw you on TV. 384 00:28:02,922 --> 00:28:06,588 That was a big rip-off. There were no franchises. 385 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,215 Hell, I only sold one starter kit. 386 00:28:09,388 --> 00:28:14,631 I gotta find a place to lay low until this whole godforsaken thing blows over. 387 00:28:14,810 --> 00:28:18,144 Come on, Little Ben. Do your old man a favour. 388 00:28:18,314 --> 00:28:21,517 All those years I spent putting a roof over your head. 389 00:28:21,692 --> 00:28:25,560 I even bribed that dean to keep you in college, remember? 390 00:28:25,738 --> 00:28:29,108 You know something? You owe me. 391 00:28:31,871 --> 00:28:34,196 This room is a little small. 392 00:28:34,373 --> 00:28:38,288 Well, it's all we've got. You can sleep in one of the bunk-beds. 393 00:28:38,461 --> 00:28:39,955 Or you can leave. 394 00:28:40,130 --> 00:28:42,336 No, it'll do. 395 00:28:42,507 --> 00:28:44,833 But I get the top bunk. 396 00:29:39,110 --> 00:29:41,317 Finally! 397 00:30:05,805 --> 00:30:08,925 Some educators underestimate the value of civics, 398 00:30:09,102 --> 00:30:11,390 but I say, for the growing mind, 399 00:30:11,562 --> 00:30:15,145 there's nothing more important than pride in your city. 400 00:30:15,316 --> 00:30:18,401 This is Highway 39. 401 00:30:19,613 --> 00:30:21,985 This is the Mortville Steel Mill. 402 00:30:23,867 --> 00:30:28,161 And this is Mortville's very own Love Rock. 403 00:30:28,330 --> 00:30:32,163 When the Dumore family settled this region, they stole it from the Indians. 404 00:30:32,335 --> 00:30:35,502 The Indians claim the rock has magic powers. 405 00:30:35,672 --> 00:30:37,249 What kind of magic? 406 00:30:37,423 --> 00:30:39,546 I don't know. Love magic, I guess. 407 00:30:39,718 --> 00:30:44,380 You make a wish and it comes true, at least that's what they tell the tourists. 408 00:30:53,649 --> 00:30:55,689 Can I get a drink of water? 409 00:30:55,860 --> 00:30:57,734 Yes, you may, but hurry back. 410 00:30:57,904 --> 00:31:01,605 I've got a great slide of the Rotary Club coming straight up. 411 00:31:33,734 --> 00:31:35,941 Hey, pumpkin-head. 412 00:31:36,112 --> 00:31:38,319 You're gonna wish you never said that. 413 00:31:38,490 --> 00:31:40,150 Oh, yeah? 414 00:31:48,792 --> 00:31:50,785 So, what exactly happened? 415 00:31:50,961 --> 00:31:52,955 I was using the fire hose. 416 00:31:53,131 --> 00:31:56,583 Aha. And why were you doing this? 417 00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:01,256 I told you, a fire had broken out and I was trying to save the school. 418 00:32:02,975 --> 00:32:05,015 Junior, what happened? 419 00:32:05,186 --> 00:32:08,602 Your son saved the school. He put out a fire. 420 00:32:10,191 --> 00:32:13,856 Did anyone ask him how it started? Because... 421 00:32:16,072 --> 00:32:18,990 - I'm so sorry, that's very clumsy of me. - That's OK. 422 00:32:19,868 --> 00:32:21,327 Listen... 423 00:32:22,329 --> 00:32:25,994 If Junior seems a little troublesome lately, 424 00:32:26,166 --> 00:32:27,791 I wouldn't worry about it. 425 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:32,587 He really hasn't made any friends here yet so he's probably a little insecure. 426 00:32:33,466 --> 00:32:36,301 Boy, you really know kids. 427 00:32:38,012 --> 00:32:40,504 Junior and I were gonna get dinner later 428 00:32:40,682 --> 00:32:47,267 and I thought maybe if you didn't have any plans that you'd... care to join us. 429 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,682 No, I can't. 430 00:32:49,859 --> 00:32:51,104 Oh, well... 431 00:32:52,195 --> 00:32:56,359 Maybe you and I could do something Friday night? 432 00:32:56,533 --> 00:32:58,989 I'd like to, but no. 433 00:33:00,621 --> 00:33:03,456 - Saturday? - No, not any night. 434 00:33:04,708 --> 00:33:07,200 - I've got a problem. - Excuse me? 435 00:33:07,378 --> 00:33:11,210 - I can't go out with anyone. - What if we just had dinner... 436 00:33:11,382 --> 00:33:14,253 Dad! Didn't you hear the lady? She's got a problem. 437 00:33:14,427 --> 00:33:19,504 - Quit buggin' her and let's get out of here. - Well, I... We'd better go. 438 00:33:19,683 --> 00:33:23,811 Anyway, it was nice talking to you, Miss Young. 439 00:33:23,979 --> 00:33:25,354 Annie. 440 00:33:25,522 --> 00:33:29,223 It was nice talking to you, too, Ben. And Junior. 441 00:33:32,780 --> 00:33:37,278 "Can we go out on Friday night? On Saturday night?" 442 00:33:37,453 --> 00:33:39,280 "How about Sunday night?" 443 00:33:39,455 --> 00:33:43,619 What's Dad's problem? Doesn't he have any pride? 444 00:33:43,793 --> 00:33:46,794 Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade! 445 00:33:49,632 --> 00:33:52,836 Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade! 446 00:33:53,011 --> 00:33:54,968 I'll have some lemonade. 447 00:33:55,138 --> 00:33:58,009 Certainly, that'll be two dollars. 448 00:33:59,852 --> 00:34:01,394 I've only got a quarter. 449 00:34:01,562 --> 00:34:04,598 Then I guess you're going thirsty, loser. 450 00:34:05,816 --> 00:34:10,277 Dolly, there's no more lemonade. Go back and fill it up. 451 00:34:10,446 --> 00:34:13,732 I'm not gonna fill it up. Why don't you fill it up? 452 00:34:13,908 --> 00:34:17,028 I'm not gonna fill it up. Why don't you fill it up? 453 00:34:17,203 --> 00:34:21,284 Junior, why don't you go back and fill it up? 454 00:34:21,458 --> 00:34:25,705 If you do the work, we might give you a free glass. 455 00:34:27,591 --> 00:34:30,627 OK. I'll go fill it up. 456 00:35:15,225 --> 00:35:16,767 There you go, friends. 457 00:35:16,935 --> 00:35:19,308 You only filled it halfway. 458 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,058 I tried my best. 459 00:35:21,232 --> 00:35:25,182 That's not good enough. For that, you don't get your free glass. 460 00:35:25,362 --> 00:35:27,687 That's OK by me. 461 00:35:29,991 --> 00:35:33,277 Lemonade! Fresh-squeezed lemonade! 462 00:35:33,453 --> 00:35:36,324 Boy, oh, boy. It sure is hot. 463 00:35:36,498 --> 00:35:39,749 I'm workin' up quite a sweat out here. 464 00:35:40,795 --> 00:35:45,504 Dolly, Madison, how about a glass of lemonade, huh? 465 00:35:45,675 --> 00:35:48,083 Certainly. That'll be two dollars. 466 00:35:48,261 --> 00:35:51,879 Two dollars? For a glass of lemonade? For me? 467 00:35:53,433 --> 00:35:55,675 Friggin' brats. 468 00:35:56,853 --> 00:35:58,312 Two dollars. 469 00:35:59,356 --> 00:36:01,265 All right, here you go. 470 00:36:19,295 --> 00:36:21,169 Tangy. 471 00:36:26,094 --> 00:36:28,051 Dad, what do you want for dinner? 472 00:36:28,221 --> 00:36:32,967 - Macaroni and cheese or fish sticks? - I'd love to have the fish sticks. 473 00:36:33,143 --> 00:36:36,512 - But I got other plans. - But I was making us dinner. 474 00:36:36,689 --> 00:36:41,066 I can see that, but I'm going out with Emily from down the street. 475 00:36:41,235 --> 00:36:42,979 Am I gonna get another babysitter? 476 00:36:43,154 --> 00:36:48,315 No, don't be silly. No more babysitters for you. We got something better, Grandpa. 477 00:36:48,493 --> 00:36:49,987 Stick him, stick him. 478 00:36:50,161 --> 00:36:52,783 They don't make fighters like they used to. 479 00:36:52,956 --> 00:36:55,364 No more. Nobody's hungry any more. 480 00:36:55,542 --> 00:36:57,665 See? 481 00:36:58,629 --> 00:37:02,544 Dad, don't go out on another date. You already had one. 482 00:37:02,717 --> 00:37:06,881 It didn't work out. How can I find us a new mom if I don't keep looking? 483 00:37:07,055 --> 00:37:11,468 We don't need a new mom. Things were great when it was just you and me. 484 00:37:11,644 --> 00:37:14,265 I mean, we already got stuck with him. 485 00:37:14,438 --> 00:37:18,685 Junior, I am going out on a date tonight, OK? 486 00:37:18,860 --> 00:37:22,525 I'm gonna get cleaned up. Let me know if you hear the doorbell. 487 00:37:22,697 --> 00:37:25,271 Don't worry. You'll hear it. 488 00:37:35,919 --> 00:37:40,665 I never met a girl who makes me feel The way that you do 489 00:37:40,841 --> 00:37:42,633 You're all right 490 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:46,011 Whenever I'm asked Who makes my dreams real 491 00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:49,347 I say that you do You're outta sight 492 00:37:49,726 --> 00:37:53,677 So, fee-fi-fo- fum 493 00:37:53,856 --> 00:37:57,771 Look out, baby, 'cause here I come 494 00:37:57,944 --> 00:38:02,108 And I'm bringing you a love that's true So get ready 495 00:38:02,282 --> 00:38:04,191 So get ready 496 00:38:04,367 --> 00:38:09,279 I'm gonna try and make you love me too So get ready 497 00:38:09,456 --> 00:38:12,374 So get ready 'Cause here I come 498 00:38:12,543 --> 00:38:14,666 Get ready 'Cause here I come 499 00:38:14,837 --> 00:38:17,328 I'm on my way 500 00:38:21,010 --> 00:38:23,466 OK, girls. 501 00:38:24,431 --> 00:38:26,637 We've got work to do. 502 00:38:45,662 --> 00:38:47,904 - Argh! - Ben. 503 00:38:48,082 --> 00:38:53,159 I'm sorry, I'm suddenly not feeling very well. 504 00:38:53,337 --> 00:39:00,254 I think I just caught that flu that's been going around. 505 00:39:00,428 --> 00:39:02,088 OK? 506 00:39:16,112 --> 00:39:20,821 So the little monster screwed you over again, huh? 507 00:39:20,992 --> 00:39:23,115 Maybe I was too strong with him. 508 00:39:23,286 --> 00:39:26,620 Ever since I started dating these women, he's become so insecure. 509 00:39:26,790 --> 00:39:30,373 Insecure? Little Ben, he's paranoid, he's jealous. 510 00:39:30,544 --> 00:39:32,453 And he is dangerous. 511 00:39:32,629 --> 00:39:34,503 What are you saying? 512 00:39:34,673 --> 00:39:37,924 I'm saying leave him by the side of the road and run. 513 00:39:38,094 --> 00:39:41,214 That's a cop-out. The boy wants to know he's loved. 514 00:39:41,390 --> 00:39:45,470 I'm sure if I devote more time to him, he'll be better. 515 00:39:45,644 --> 00:39:50,306 Finally, Dad gets the point. Goodbye, ladies 516 00:39:57,156 --> 00:39:59,280 Hey, dog-face. 517 00:39:59,451 --> 00:40:01,906 I knew you'd look! 518 00:40:04,247 --> 00:40:06,287 No running in the hall! 519 00:40:09,837 --> 00:40:11,379 Oh, darn! 520 00:40:11,547 --> 00:40:13,255 Na- na- na- na- na. 521 00:40:13,424 --> 00:40:15,997 You can't come in here! 522 00:40:18,262 --> 00:40:21,429 The bitch must die 523 00:40:29,776 --> 00:40:33,026 Oh, shoot. She tricked me again. 524 00:40:33,196 --> 00:40:36,814 I wish I had half the brains she does. 525 00:40:36,992 --> 00:40:40,158 Well, there's always tomorrow. 526 00:40:43,582 --> 00:40:45,990 That guy's pathetic. 527 00:40:51,757 --> 00:40:54,545 You're gonna wish you'd never been born. 528 00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:59,630 Ooh, I'm really scared! I'm being threatened by the Ty-D-Bowl Girl. 529 00:40:59,808 --> 00:41:02,844 Now, why have you been bugging me? 530 00:41:03,019 --> 00:41:06,804 I'll bug whoever I want. This is my school. 531 00:41:06,982 --> 00:41:10,066 - Says who? - Me and my M- 80. 532 00:41:16,534 --> 00:41:18,242 You're insane. 533 00:41:20,289 --> 00:41:22,198 Let's get out of here! 534 00:41:26,712 --> 00:41:29,666 Just outta school Like I'm real real cool 535 00:41:29,841 --> 00:41:33,008 Gotta dance like a fool Got the message that I gotta be 536 00:41:33,178 --> 00:41:34,292 A wild one... 537 00:41:34,471 --> 00:41:38,136 Out of my way! I can't hold this one until recess. 538 00:41:42,688 --> 00:41:44,930 This is gonna feel so good. 539 00:41:53,783 --> 00:41:57,282 Clearance sale! Big clearance sale! 540 00:41:57,453 --> 00:42:00,241 Well, well, well, what have we got here? 541 00:42:00,415 --> 00:42:03,665 You girls selling your daddy's old clothes? 542 00:42:03,835 --> 00:42:05,460 Look at this! 543 00:42:05,629 --> 00:42:08,334 A silk shirt for a dime. 544 00:42:08,507 --> 00:42:10,832 And a suit for a quarter? 545 00:42:11,010 --> 00:42:13,881 I had one like this. I paid two grand for it. 546 00:42:15,682 --> 00:42:18,138 Wait a minute. Wait a... 547 00:42:18,310 --> 00:42:19,852 Nippy. 548 00:42:20,020 --> 00:42:22,725 What the hell are you doing here? 549 00:42:23,774 --> 00:42:25,850 They're selling you for a nickel? 550 00:42:26,902 --> 00:42:29,310 You little crooks. Where'd you get this stuff? 551 00:42:29,489 --> 00:42:31,695 We have wholesalers. 552 00:42:31,866 --> 00:42:34,536 The hell you do. This is all mine. 553 00:42:34,702 --> 00:42:38,950 No, it's not. Junior sold us the whole package for ten dollars. 554 00:42:39,124 --> 00:42:42,042 He did, did he? Well, we'll see about that. 555 00:42:43,629 --> 00:42:46,298 Finally I get some room in here. 556 00:42:46,465 --> 00:42:50,130 You little psycho. This time you've gone too far. 557 00:42:50,302 --> 00:42:53,719 - Shut your trap! - You're an evil boy. 558 00:42:53,890 --> 00:42:56,013 You've gotta learn to respect your elders. 559 00:42:56,184 --> 00:42:59,968 If your old man won't teach you some manners, by God, I will. 560 00:43:00,146 --> 00:43:04,477 Oh, yeah? We'll see about that. 561 00:43:11,159 --> 00:43:12,357 My ass! 562 00:43:18,417 --> 00:43:20,456 Hey, buddy, you ready to go? 563 00:43:20,627 --> 00:43:22,170 Sure, but where? 564 00:43:22,338 --> 00:43:25,255 It's a surprise. I got a fun day planned. 565 00:43:25,424 --> 00:43:27,002 All right, let's go! 566 00:43:29,929 --> 00:43:32,503 Junior, have you seen your grandfather lately? 567 00:43:32,682 --> 00:43:35,553 Last time I saw him, he was going out. 568 00:43:37,437 --> 00:43:38,812 Ben! 569 00:43:38,980 --> 00:43:40,772 Little Ben! 570 00:43:40,941 --> 00:43:44,476 Help, Little Ben! Help me! 571 00:43:44,653 --> 00:43:46,527 Whoa... 572 00:44:08,721 --> 00:44:10,548 Benjamin Healy. 573 00:44:10,724 --> 00:44:12,763 Time to meet your future. 574 00:44:14,478 --> 00:44:15,936 Help me! 575 00:44:16,104 --> 00:44:18,774 - Help me! - What is that man doing? 576 00:44:18,941 --> 00:44:21,977 I'm Big Ben Healy. I live here. 577 00:44:22,152 --> 00:44:25,237 You live in that tree? 578 00:44:25,406 --> 00:44:28,740 - Maybe he's Ben Healy's father. - Shut up. I knew that. 579 00:44:28,910 --> 00:44:32,445 Now move it. Get him down from there. 580 00:44:36,001 --> 00:44:39,121 Hooray! 581 00:44:39,755 --> 00:44:42,839 - All right! - Hey, Junior, this is for you. 582 00:44:43,008 --> 00:44:44,799 - Thanks, Dad! - You're welcome. 583 00:44:44,968 --> 00:44:50,308 This is great. First it's a water park, then a ball game, and now it's a carnival. 584 00:44:50,475 --> 00:44:54,010 I just realised you and I haven't been spending enough time together. 585 00:44:54,188 --> 00:44:57,189 Dad, I'm glad it's just you and me. 586 00:44:57,358 --> 00:45:00,478 Wow! Look at that cool ride! 587 00:45:03,447 --> 00:45:06,651 - Can I go on it? - Sure, that's why we're here. 588 00:45:07,744 --> 00:45:10,235 This ride is over 589 00:45:14,334 --> 00:45:17,620 Whoa, slow down, dude. You can't go on this ride. 590 00:45:17,796 --> 00:45:21,046 - Why not? - You gotta be as tall as the tentacle. 591 00:45:25,930 --> 00:45:28,006 But it's only a millimetre. 592 00:45:28,182 --> 00:45:31,053 Get outta here, you're holding up my line. 593 00:45:32,103 --> 00:45:33,514 Thanks a lot. 594 00:45:35,356 --> 00:45:40,067 I'm sorry, Junior. Maybe next year. Look. You wanna go on the Munchkin Ride? 595 00:45:41,114 --> 00:45:43,652 No Munchkin Ride. OK. 596 00:45:43,825 --> 00:45:46,696 A candy apple? Would you like a candy apple? 597 00:45:46,870 --> 00:45:48,779 I'll be right back. 598 00:45:52,459 --> 00:45:55,875 The little baby couldn't get on the ride? 599 00:45:56,046 --> 00:46:01,800 What's the matter? They afraid you'd go pee-pee in your diapers? 600 00:46:08,184 --> 00:46:10,972 Hey, you little creep! 601 00:46:12,063 --> 00:46:14,139 Hey, shrimp. 602 00:46:14,316 --> 00:46:18,017 It must be tough being a little shrimpo. 603 00:46:18,195 --> 00:46:19,689 Ticket. 604 00:46:31,210 --> 00:46:34,045 So, are you ready for fun? 605 00:46:34,213 --> 00:46:36,289 Yeah! 606 00:46:37,216 --> 00:46:39,292 You better hang on tight, 607 00:46:39,469 --> 00:46:45,009 because you're about to experience the Crazy Dance 608 00:47:12,045 --> 00:47:13,872 This is pansy speed! 609 00:47:14,047 --> 00:47:17,048 Come on, pump it up, pump it up! 610 00:47:19,970 --> 00:47:22,427 Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah... Yeah! 611 00:48:04,769 --> 00:48:06,845 I'm gonna puke! 612 00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:11,813 I'm gonna barf! 613 00:48:38,848 --> 00:48:40,259 Please, no. 614 00:49:29,903 --> 00:49:32,062 Why do you do these things to me? 615 00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:36,451 I thought we moved here to start over. People told me you were a problem child. 616 00:49:36,619 --> 00:49:41,577 I said they were wrong, I said you just needed a chance to succeed. 617 00:49:41,749 --> 00:49:44,454 We don't have a normal life, especially me. 618 00:49:44,627 --> 00:49:47,794 I can't go out on a date without something terrible happening. 619 00:49:47,964 --> 00:49:49,542 Maybe you shouldn't go out. 620 00:49:49,716 --> 00:49:54,010 Junior, just because I interact with another human being 621 00:49:54,179 --> 00:49:56,636 doesn't mean that I love you any less. 622 00:49:56,808 --> 00:49:58,635 Can't you see that? 623 00:49:58,810 --> 00:50:02,559 - Well, I suppose. - All right, that's a start. 624 00:50:02,731 --> 00:50:04,391 We can build on that. 625 00:50:04,566 --> 00:50:06,358 I'll make you a deal. 626 00:50:06,527 --> 00:50:09,362 I promise you that I'll always be there for you. 627 00:50:09,530 --> 00:50:12,614 But you've gotta promise to be good from now on. 628 00:50:12,783 --> 00:50:16,532 - OK, I promise. - That's a little too fast. Think about it. 629 00:50:16,704 --> 00:50:21,331 It's not just an empty promise. This is a pact between you and me 630 00:50:21,501 --> 00:50:25,084 to regain some of the trust we used to have, OK? 631 00:50:25,255 --> 00:50:27,960 So what do you say? Are you gonna improve 632 00:50:28,133 --> 00:50:31,300 so I can be right when I brag to my friends 633 00:50:31,470 --> 00:50:34,804 and tell them I got the greatest kid that ever was? 634 00:50:35,891 --> 00:50:37,386 Sure. 635 00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,766 I'll be better. 636 00:50:42,273 --> 00:50:43,815 Thataboy. 637 00:50:56,665 --> 00:50:58,990 What happened to our house? 638 00:51:00,252 --> 00:51:01,829 Surprise! 639 00:51:02,004 --> 00:51:04,080 - Dad, what have you done? - Nothing. 640 00:51:04,256 --> 00:51:08,124 The credit for this miracle goes to one special lady. 641 00:51:08,886 --> 00:51:12,220 Ta-raa... 642 00:51:12,390 --> 00:51:14,881 - I don't understand. - Is she a maid? 643 00:51:15,059 --> 00:51:17,977 Yeah, made to order. 644 00:51:19,481 --> 00:51:25,235 Benjamin, it's such a pleasure to have new blood moving into our town. 645 00:51:25,404 --> 00:51:28,025 On behalf of everyone at Dumore Bank, 646 00:51:28,198 --> 00:51:31,199 Dumore Pharmaceuticals and Dumore Strip Mining, 647 00:51:31,368 --> 00:51:35,152 I just want to extend to you this little ol' welcome. 648 00:51:35,331 --> 00:51:37,489 I'm LaWanda Dumore. 649 00:51:37,667 --> 00:51:40,953 You did all this because I opened up a checking account? 650 00:51:41,130 --> 00:51:43,965 You're a very special customer. 651 00:51:44,133 --> 00:51:46,671 Oops! 652 00:51:47,803 --> 00:51:51,718 - Oh, Junior...! - That's all right, it's only dirt. 653 00:51:51,891 --> 00:51:54,014 I'll have that up in a jiffy. 654 00:52:01,318 --> 00:52:04,402 I'm sorry. Junior can be a little clumsy at times. 655 00:52:04,571 --> 00:52:06,481 That's all right. 656 00:52:06,657 --> 00:52:12,162 Without compassion and understanding, what kind of world would we be living in? 657 00:52:12,330 --> 00:52:13,907 Right, sweetie? 658 00:52:14,081 --> 00:52:16,205 Just try to pull one stunt 659 00:52:16,376 --> 00:52:20,587 and I'll cut you off at the knees and bury you alive. 660 00:52:22,465 --> 00:52:26,415 - She's an incredible woman. - You haven't heard the best part. 661 00:52:26,595 --> 00:52:29,051 She's worth $50 million. 662 00:52:32,644 --> 00:52:37,437 I am so sorry, I just completely lost track of the time. 663 00:52:37,608 --> 00:52:39,232 I gotta run. 664 00:52:39,401 --> 00:52:43,446 I got a meeting with some cockamamie shareholder grievance committee. 665 00:52:43,614 --> 00:52:46,615 But we should get together for dinner real soon. 666 00:52:46,784 --> 00:52:49,275 I could cook us up something special. 667 00:52:49,453 --> 00:52:51,612 Well, sure. That would be nice, Miss Dumore. 668 00:52:51,789 --> 00:52:55,040 Oh, no. LaWanda. 669 00:52:55,210 --> 00:52:56,704 LaWanda. 670 00:53:04,470 --> 00:53:05,928 Bye-bye! 671 00:53:11,978 --> 00:53:16,687 Five oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ooh! 672 00:53:17,817 --> 00:53:19,228 50 million! 673 00:53:31,916 --> 00:53:35,665 LaWanda, it smells great in there. Sure you don't need any help? 674 00:53:35,837 --> 00:53:37,415 No, Benjamin. 675 00:53:37,589 --> 00:53:42,086 You just stay down here and relax. I'm taking care of everything. 676 00:53:42,261 --> 00:53:43,636 OK. 677 00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:52,559 I know I promised Dad I wouldn't hurt LaWanda, 678 00:53:52,730 --> 00:53:55,601 but I never said the dog couldn't. 679 00:54:01,531 --> 00:54:03,987 You're falling into a trance. 680 00:54:04,159 --> 00:54:08,620 Your eyes are getting heavy. You can't move a muscle. 681 00:54:08,789 --> 00:54:12,834 When you wake up, you'll be thinking of one thing. 682 00:54:13,002 --> 00:54:15,328 Destroy LaWanda. 683 00:54:15,506 --> 00:54:17,333 She is your enemy. 684 00:54:17,508 --> 00:54:20,509 She is like a cat, but uglier. 685 00:54:20,678 --> 00:54:23,134 You want to bite her butt off 686 00:54:23,306 --> 00:54:26,509 and scare her away, so she'll never come back. 687 00:54:26,684 --> 00:54:28,558 When I clap my hands, 688 00:54:28,728 --> 00:54:33,058 you'll come out of the trance and do whatever I say. 689 00:54:33,942 --> 00:54:35,567 One, 690 00:54:35,736 --> 00:54:36,898 two, 691 00:54:37,070 --> 00:54:38,565 three. 692 00:54:41,075 --> 00:54:43,482 One, two, 693 00:54:43,661 --> 00:54:45,238 three. 694 00:54:46,956 --> 00:54:48,534 Nippy? 695 00:54:49,750 --> 00:54:51,790 Nippy? Hey, Nip, come on. 696 00:54:52,462 --> 00:54:55,167 - Uh-oh! Nippy. - Nippy! 697 00:54:56,049 --> 00:54:57,757 Nippy, where are you? 698 00:55:11,441 --> 00:55:14,146 - What have you been up to? - None of your business. 699 00:55:14,319 --> 00:55:18,400 - You're not my mother. - You are a mean little boy. 700 00:55:18,574 --> 00:55:23,817 Go up to your room and change your clothes. I will not have an unkempt boy at my table. 701 00:55:23,996 --> 00:55:25,574 Your table? 702 00:55:26,374 --> 00:55:27,868 Get! 703 00:55:37,636 --> 00:55:39,842 Clowns! 704 00:55:40,013 --> 00:55:42,587 I hate clowns! 705 00:55:44,059 --> 00:55:47,310 This woman is bustin' my balls! 706 00:55:49,065 --> 00:55:51,936 Hey, guys, what are you doing for dinner tonight? 707 00:55:57,325 --> 00:56:01,025 I would like to make a toast to a terrific lady 708 00:56:01,204 --> 00:56:04,288 who has made us feel so welcome in our new town, 709 00:56:04,457 --> 00:56:08,751 who's fixed up our house, and cooked us this incredible feast. 710 00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:10,580 - Hear, hear. - To LaWanda. 711 00:56:10,756 --> 00:56:12,713 - To LaWanda. - To LaWanda. 712 00:56:14,718 --> 00:56:16,711 That is so sweet. 713 00:56:16,887 --> 00:56:19,212 I hope y'all enjoy this. 714 00:56:19,390 --> 00:56:22,344 I had my staff compile their favourite recipes. 715 00:56:22,518 --> 00:56:26,053 Well, I for one am famished, so let's eat. 716 00:56:51,842 --> 00:56:56,303 What in the hell is in this salad? 717 00:56:56,472 --> 00:56:58,512 It's blue cheese. 718 00:57:01,853 --> 00:57:03,477 Oh, my God. 719 00:57:04,272 --> 00:57:07,890 All right, come on! Get LaWanda! 720 00:57:11,488 --> 00:57:14,359 This salad is infested! 721 00:57:19,371 --> 00:57:21,115 Get it! Get it! 722 00:57:22,416 --> 00:57:24,374 This is a plague! 723 00:57:31,926 --> 00:57:34,334 LaWanda, I'm coming. 724 00:57:52,866 --> 00:57:54,325 Junior, you failed me. 725 00:57:54,493 --> 00:57:57,281 But, Dad, I swear, she hates me. 726 00:57:57,455 --> 00:58:01,951 - We had a deal and you let me down. - She's different from all the others. 727 00:58:02,126 --> 00:58:04,119 LaWanda is bad. 728 00:58:04,295 --> 00:58:09,171 Junior, you think all women are bad. That woman has nothing but good intentions. 729 00:58:09,342 --> 00:58:12,546 She made us dinner and this is how you pay her back? 730 00:58:12,721 --> 00:58:14,880 I am really disappointed in you. 731 00:58:15,057 --> 00:58:18,924 I don't think I'll ever be able to trust you again. 732 00:58:26,986 --> 00:58:29,738 Benjamin, I hope you weren't too harsh on him. 733 00:58:29,906 --> 00:58:34,201 - I think I've failed as a father. - Oh, no, not at all. 734 00:58:34,370 --> 00:58:37,157 There's only so much you can handle. 735 00:58:37,332 --> 00:58:42,575 A father's good for some things, but you need a mother for emotional guidance. 736 00:58:42,754 --> 00:58:46,455 Values... Morality? 737 00:58:46,633 --> 00:58:49,753 Perhaps I should talk to the boy? 738 00:58:49,928 --> 00:58:53,214 - Well, yeah. That might be... - Good. 739 00:58:56,602 --> 00:58:59,769 Listen here, you little monster. 740 00:58:59,939 --> 00:59:01,848 I am mightier than you are. 741 00:59:02,025 --> 00:59:05,773 And I always get what I want, so back off. 742 00:59:05,945 --> 00:59:10,940 Because whether you like it or not, I am gonna marry your daddy. 743 00:59:11,118 --> 00:59:14,902 And when I do, you'll be on the first plane to boarding school, 744 00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:16,989 in Baghdad. 745 00:59:18,042 --> 00:59:20,711 Dad, you gotta believe me. She said Baghdad. 746 00:59:20,878 --> 00:59:23,880 Forget it, you have no credibility any more. 747 00:59:24,049 --> 00:59:27,584 Let's see if we can get through this evening like a normal family, 748 00:59:27,761 --> 00:59:30,087 without anything bizarre happening. OK? 749 00:59:30,264 --> 00:59:31,639 Come on. 750 00:59:31,807 --> 00:59:36,683 Come here, look at the chart. I got 15 gold stars this semester. 751 00:59:37,897 --> 00:59:42,061 - Do you have anything nice to show me? - Sure, just the usual stuff. 752 00:59:42,235 --> 00:59:43,813 There's my desk. 753 00:59:51,412 --> 00:59:53,700 Here's my science project. 754 00:59:53,873 --> 00:59:55,699 I'm innocent I'm innocent 755 00:59:59,462 --> 01:00:01,585 There's my teacher, Mr Thorn. 756 01:00:01,756 --> 01:00:03,464 Mom, this is Mr Thorn. 757 01:00:03,633 --> 01:00:05,922 She's doing very well. Awfully good. 758 01:00:06,094 --> 01:00:11,005 Attention, parents. Please take your seats for tonight's special programme, 759 01:00:11,183 --> 01:00:12,642 Salute to Democracy. 760 01:00:12,809 --> 01:00:16,227 Because you know it's, like, democracy and we're saluting it. 761 01:00:31,038 --> 01:00:33,529 - Hello, Sam. - Hello, Baldy. 762 01:00:33,708 --> 01:00:36,625 Sure is great to see all those parents out there tonight. 763 01:00:36,794 --> 01:00:39,464 - It sure is. - It's so sweet! 764 01:00:39,631 --> 01:00:41,588 You can't do that to me! 765 01:00:41,758 --> 01:00:43,252 What are you...? 766 01:00:49,183 --> 01:00:52,967 Sorry about the delay, folks. We're experiencing technical difficulties. 767 01:00:53,145 --> 01:00:57,013 Yeah, I had to scratch my balls. 768 01:00:57,984 --> 01:01:02,527 - Hey, I didn't know eagles had balls. - Yeah, I'm a bald eagle. 769 01:01:02,697 --> 01:01:05,864 Did you know I could fart The Star - Spangled Banner? 770 01:01:06,035 --> 01:01:09,404 - Really? OK... - Junior, no! 771 01:01:16,671 --> 01:01:19,756 - Who are you? - Who the hell are you? 772 01:01:20,926 --> 01:01:22,254 Trixie! 773 01:01:22,427 --> 01:01:26,093 I can't leave you alone for 10 minutes. Why did you do this? 774 01:01:26,265 --> 01:01:28,304 But, Mom... 775 01:01:28,475 --> 01:01:32,604 Those kids wouldn't let me be part of the puppet show. 776 01:01:32,772 --> 01:01:37,517 That's no excuse for... Come on, we are going right now! 777 01:01:41,865 --> 01:01:45,697 Great show, huh, Dad? I was saving you a seat. 778 01:01:47,913 --> 01:01:49,537 Annie... 779 01:01:49,706 --> 01:01:51,165 Annie! 780 01:01:51,333 --> 01:01:53,041 Nurse! 781 01:01:54,211 --> 01:01:57,546 Hang on! Wait! 782 01:01:57,716 --> 01:01:59,922 Look, Annie, will you wait?! 783 01:02:00,093 --> 01:02:05,005 - I understand what you're going through. - You couldn't possibly. 784 01:02:05,182 --> 01:02:08,765 - I do, believe me. We could help each other. - Just forget it. 785 01:02:08,936 --> 01:02:11,724 Trixie consumes my entire life. 786 01:02:11,898 --> 01:02:14,436 I don't have room for anything else. 787 01:02:26,246 --> 01:02:29,082 Boy, that girl sure showed them. 788 01:02:29,250 --> 01:02:35,123 Who would have thought that sweet nurse would have such a crazy daughter? 789 01:02:35,298 --> 01:02:38,501 What a mess. I have to get Junior a mother. 790 01:02:38,676 --> 01:02:42,757 Annie would be perfect, she's smart and sweet and pretty and loving. 791 01:02:42,931 --> 01:02:47,011 It would be great to have a nurse on call 24 hours a day. 792 01:02:47,769 --> 01:02:51,305 On the other hand, LaWanda will go out with me. 793 01:02:54,027 --> 01:02:58,321 Oh, God, please let him marry that rich broad. 794 01:02:58,490 --> 01:03:01,575 'Cause I really need the money. 795 01:03:02,494 --> 01:03:04,617 I gotta get out of this house. 796 01:03:04,788 --> 01:03:08,656 My son's a loser, my dog has vanished. 797 01:03:08,834 --> 01:03:12,583 And that punk Junior's the devil come to life. 798 01:03:16,593 --> 01:03:19,796 Nippy! You've come back! 799 01:03:19,971 --> 01:03:23,804 And I thought you abandoned me. 800 01:03:23,976 --> 01:03:26,301 I should have known better. 801 01:03:28,314 --> 01:03:32,098 You'll always stand by my side, won't you? 802 01:03:34,862 --> 01:03:37,353 You're my one true friend. 803 01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:41,703 Nippy...? 804 01:03:42,496 --> 01:03:45,782 Nippy, what the hell happened to you? 805 01:03:55,385 --> 01:03:57,876 I'm losing my mind. 806 01:03:58,055 --> 01:04:02,633 Junior's getting worse. We can't even figure out what he did to that dog. 807 01:04:02,810 --> 01:04:05,764 Benjamin, I'm gonna be blunt. 808 01:04:05,938 --> 01:04:09,521 - Your child is in a state of emergency. - I'm doing my best. 809 01:04:09,692 --> 01:04:12,527 Benjamin, it is not your fault. 810 01:04:12,695 --> 01:04:15,233 You're a fine man. 811 01:04:15,406 --> 01:04:20,698 But one lone individual just cannot do this job. 812 01:04:20,871 --> 01:04:25,082 Your child needs two parental figures. 813 01:04:27,378 --> 01:04:29,501 - LaWanda... - Yes? 814 01:04:34,803 --> 01:04:36,962 I'd like to ask you a question. 815 01:04:39,850 --> 01:04:42,424 - Junior... - Hey, Dad, what's up? 816 01:04:42,603 --> 01:04:44,560 I've got some family news for you. 817 01:04:44,730 --> 01:04:47,435 - Is Big Ben moving out? - No, I'm not talking... 818 01:04:47,608 --> 01:04:50,396 Listen to me, this is important. I... 819 01:04:51,738 --> 01:04:55,570 I've made a decision. I'm going to marry LaWanda. 820 01:04:55,742 --> 01:05:00,239 - But, Dad, she hates me! - She doesn't hate... That's ridiculous. 821 01:05:00,414 --> 01:05:04,364 She wants what's best for you. She wants to make us a home. 822 01:05:04,543 --> 01:05:07,165 But she's gonna destroy everything. 823 01:05:07,338 --> 01:05:11,550 Three men living together in a house is a mess. It's unnatural. 824 01:05:11,718 --> 01:05:14,921 Plus, I feel she's a woman of strong moral fibre. 825 01:05:15,096 --> 01:05:17,718 She'll be a good influence over us, especially you. 826 01:05:17,891 --> 01:05:19,765 You're making a big mistake. 827 01:05:19,935 --> 01:05:22,971 I am a grown-up and I will do anything I wanna do. 828 01:05:23,146 --> 01:05:26,481 And on Saturday I'm going to marry LaWanda. 829 01:05:27,819 --> 01:05:31,105 Benjamin, we got a jillion things to do. 830 01:05:31,281 --> 01:05:36,109 Caterers, invitations and a one o'clock appointment for a blood test. 831 01:05:36,286 --> 01:05:37,662 I'll be right there. 832 01:05:37,830 --> 01:05:42,575 Tell your grandpa I'll be back in a couple of hours and then we'll talk. 833 01:06:04,316 --> 01:06:08,610 We're from the animal control unit. There's a local rabies scare. 834 01:06:08,779 --> 01:06:13,572 - We're looking for any strange animals. - Nippy's been acting a little funny lately. 835 01:06:13,743 --> 01:06:17,078 - You better let us see him. - OK. 836 01:06:20,376 --> 01:06:22,867 - Not now. - Come on. 837 01:06:27,384 --> 01:06:29,709 - Here you go. - What the hell happened here? 838 01:06:29,886 --> 01:06:31,511 It sure ain't rabies. 839 01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:35,049 Nippy's lost his spunk. Can you do anything for him? 840 01:06:35,225 --> 01:06:36,850 Maybe. 841 01:06:40,397 --> 01:06:44,561 - What kind of diet's he been on? - We just feed him table scraps. 842 01:06:46,446 --> 01:06:50,064 Think we've found the problem. Why don't you come with us? 843 01:06:50,408 --> 01:06:53,824 A time like this, there's only one thing you can count on. 844 01:06:56,873 --> 01:06:58,831 - Chow Down. - Chow Down? 845 01:06:59,001 --> 01:07:00,744 That's right, sonny. Chow Down. 846 01:07:00,919 --> 01:07:04,205 Now in three delicious flavours. Beef, chicken and horse. 847 01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:07,924 Rich, meaty flavour, 848 01:07:08,095 --> 01:07:13,302 all simmered in a delicious home- style gravy. Mmm... 849 01:07:13,475 --> 01:07:16,227 What dog could resist? 850 01:07:16,395 --> 01:07:18,352 Come and get it! 851 01:07:19,398 --> 01:07:22,269 Wow! Look at him chow down. 852 01:07:22,443 --> 01:07:25,444 You bet, and wait till you see how shiny his coat gets. 853 01:07:30,952 --> 01:07:32,612 Glad we could be of assistance. 854 01:07:32,788 --> 01:07:35,540 Come on, pal. Let's get back to work. 855 01:07:39,003 --> 01:07:41,209 What's in that little black box? 856 01:07:41,380 --> 01:07:43,337 You don't wanna mess with that. 857 01:07:43,507 --> 01:07:46,212 That's blood tests from a rabid dog. 858 01:07:47,971 --> 01:07:50,544 Blood tests, huh? 859 01:07:51,975 --> 01:07:54,181 Healy, Benjamin. 860 01:07:54,352 --> 01:07:57,223 Looks fine to me. 861 01:07:57,397 --> 01:08:01,147 And who's next? Dumore, LaWanda. 862 01:08:01,319 --> 01:08:03,228 Again. 863 01:08:03,405 --> 01:08:05,314 OK... 864 01:08:08,201 --> 01:08:09,696 Wow! 865 01:08:13,707 --> 01:08:18,251 Operator, give me the County Health Department. This is an emergency. 866 01:08:22,342 --> 01:08:25,592 - It's darling, LaWanda! - My goodness! 867 01:08:25,762 --> 01:08:29,345 Y'all are the best friends a girl could ever have. 868 01:08:29,516 --> 01:08:33,348 LaWanda, you're always the most beautiful bride. 869 01:08:36,607 --> 01:08:39,145 Excuse me, ma'am. Is Ms Dumore here? 870 01:08:39,318 --> 01:08:43,482 Oh, my Lord! Somebody hired strippers. 871 01:08:46,868 --> 01:08:48,860 You want me? 872 01:08:51,207 --> 01:08:54,161 - Come and get me. - She's already foaming at the mouth. 873 01:08:54,335 --> 01:08:56,743 Better move fast. 874 01:08:57,797 --> 01:09:01,380 - Here we go. - You brutes are playing rough! 875 01:09:01,551 --> 01:09:04,386 - What are you doing? - We're from the County Board of Health. 876 01:09:04,554 --> 01:09:06,796 - You have rabies. - What?! 877 01:09:06,973 --> 01:09:10,058 You cannot do this to me! 878 01:09:10,227 --> 01:09:13,477 I am rich. I am powerful. 879 01:09:13,647 --> 01:09:16,601 I do not have rabies! 880 01:09:17,902 --> 01:09:21,603 LaWanda, how are you feeling? 881 01:09:21,781 --> 01:09:23,406 How am I feeling? 882 01:09:23,575 --> 01:09:26,030 How am I feeling? I'm tied to a bed! 883 01:09:26,202 --> 01:09:29,120 Maybe this picture will cheer you up. 884 01:09:32,292 --> 01:09:37,287 Maybe this is a little too much excitement for LaWanda. Why don't we clear the room... 885 01:09:37,464 --> 01:09:39,837 OK. Bye, LaWanda. Come on, Dad. Let's go. 886 01:09:40,009 --> 01:09:43,593 No, sonny. Your dad means we should go. 887 01:09:43,764 --> 01:09:45,139 All of us. 888 01:09:48,227 --> 01:09:50,350 Give the lovebirds a chance to be alone. 889 01:09:50,521 --> 01:09:52,146 This might cheer you up. 890 01:09:52,314 --> 01:09:54,521 I'll put this over here. 891 01:09:54,692 --> 01:09:58,904 I talked to Father Flanagan, and he said there's no need to rush into these things. 892 01:09:59,072 --> 01:10:01,479 We can push back the ceremony. 893 01:10:01,658 --> 01:10:06,035 Benjamin, I do not like being patronized. 894 01:10:06,204 --> 01:10:10,285 I don't care if we have to roll this gurney down the aisle. 895 01:10:10,459 --> 01:10:13,579 Tomorrow, we are getting married. 896 01:10:14,922 --> 01:10:19,169 Big Ben's Sporting Goods is embarking on a major expansion. 897 01:10:19,343 --> 01:10:23,211 We're about to come into a huge cash infusion. 898 01:10:28,395 --> 01:10:30,553 I swear, you're important to me. 899 01:10:30,730 --> 01:10:35,310 I've made my decision. When I die, I want people to remember me. 900 01:10:35,487 --> 01:10:39,650 And after tonight's plastic surgery, I'm gonna be someone, 901 01:10:39,825 --> 01:10:43,657 because I'm gonna have the biggest nose in the world. 902 01:11:13,319 --> 01:11:16,320 This place is awfully loud. You sure you wanna eat here? 903 01:11:16,489 --> 01:11:18,612 Of course. Pizza's my favourite food. 904 01:11:18,783 --> 01:11:21,404 It is? Oh. Fine. 905 01:11:21,577 --> 01:11:24,995 Hello. We'd like a table for... 906 01:11:25,833 --> 01:11:28,205 - Annie? - Ben? 907 01:11:31,964 --> 01:11:36,461 Maybe I'm gettin' soft, but I just had the craziest idea. 908 01:11:40,849 --> 01:11:45,143 So then Dad dropped his pants on live TV and he lost the election. 909 01:11:45,312 --> 01:11:47,471 Here's a campaign picture. 910 01:11:47,648 --> 01:11:52,109 What are you jerks doing here? I was supposed to have dinner with my mom. 911 01:11:52,278 --> 01:11:55,030 Quit yapping and let 'em have a good time. 912 01:11:55,198 --> 01:11:57,523 Everybody smile for your complimentary photograph. 913 01:11:57,700 --> 01:12:00,370 Say "Pizzarrific!" 914 01:12:02,872 --> 01:12:05,446 Smile for your complimentary photograph. 915 01:12:08,378 --> 01:12:12,839 Oh, boy, baby! When you're with me, it's first class all the way. 916 01:12:13,008 --> 01:12:17,138 We went to the restaurant, they let us in, we didn't have to wait. 917 01:12:17,305 --> 01:12:20,757 It's not like the restaurants where you talk into the clown face. 918 01:12:20,934 --> 01:12:27,055 It's not like that at all. Later on, we'll go home and I'll put on the Zorro outfit. 919 01:12:27,233 --> 01:12:31,776 Well, here's to an evening we'll never forget. 920 01:12:34,824 --> 01:12:36,283 - It's them! - Who? 921 01:12:36,451 --> 01:12:38,776 It's him and it's her and they're together. 922 01:12:38,954 --> 01:12:42,572 He has this flatulence problem and he's eating a pizza, and it's her... 923 01:12:42,749 --> 01:12:44,457 Hey, it's Peabody. 924 01:12:44,626 --> 01:12:48,245 I hate that guy. He's got such a grating voice. 925 01:12:48,422 --> 01:12:51,874 Yeah. I'll shut him up. 926 01:12:55,555 --> 01:12:58,010 Here, let me. Terrible kids, just terrible. 927 01:12:59,267 --> 01:13:02,054 That's pretty good. Let me try. 928 01:13:05,065 --> 01:13:08,019 You rotten kids, you should be locked in cages! 929 01:13:09,112 --> 01:13:11,021 You can't talk to them like that. 930 01:13:11,197 --> 01:13:12,857 Screw you, pal! 931 01:13:13,033 --> 01:13:16,651 I can talk about anybody however I want. 932 01:13:45,234 --> 01:13:46,609 Yeah! 933 01:13:51,323 --> 01:13:54,028 Two can play at this game! 934 01:13:56,120 --> 01:13:58,991 - Let's get 'em! - All right! 935 01:14:16,727 --> 01:14:19,930 - Keep it moving, come on. - Quit pushing, it wasn't our fault. 936 01:14:20,105 --> 01:14:24,055 - I got hit on the head with an egg. - You can never come back again. 937 01:14:24,235 --> 01:14:26,642 - That's a big loss. - Yeah, we said no olives. 938 01:14:26,821 --> 01:14:29,573 Did everybody get enough to eat? 939 01:14:29,740 --> 01:14:33,785 Annie, you look like you could use some dessert. Right around here. 940 01:14:34,871 --> 01:14:38,038 - Your dad's pretty funny. - He takes after me. 941 01:14:38,208 --> 01:14:41,542 Junior, I'm sorry I hit you with the fire hose. 942 01:14:41,712 --> 01:14:45,330 That's OK. I'm sorry I made you barf on the Crazy Dance. 943 01:14:47,092 --> 01:14:48,635 I couldn't believe it... 944 01:14:48,802 --> 01:14:50,961 ...right in your face! 945 01:14:51,138 --> 01:14:53,809 You know, I think your dad likes my mom. 946 01:14:53,976 --> 01:14:58,270 Normally when a guy does that, I run him over or knock him downstairs. 947 01:14:58,439 --> 01:15:00,313 I gotta look out for her. 948 01:15:00,483 --> 01:15:04,018 But your dad, he doesn't bug me that much. 949 01:15:04,195 --> 01:15:07,113 You know, your mom doesn't bother me that much either. 950 01:15:08,533 --> 01:15:09,908 Pals? 951 01:15:11,202 --> 01:15:12,697 Pals. 952 01:15:25,426 --> 01:15:27,253 My arms. 953 01:15:28,304 --> 01:15:30,261 My arms are free! 954 01:15:32,684 --> 01:15:34,142 Oh, my Lord. 955 01:15:35,103 --> 01:15:37,179 What's wrong with my face? 956 01:15:39,774 --> 01:15:41,601 What is this? 957 01:15:53,040 --> 01:15:56,160 Oh... Oh! 958 01:15:58,671 --> 01:16:01,376 I'm Pinocchio! 959 01:16:14,646 --> 01:16:16,888 Good, you made it. 960 01:16:17,065 --> 01:16:19,735 Why did you want me to come over so late? 961 01:16:19,902 --> 01:16:22,938 - You know how you said you liked my dad? - Yeah. 962 01:16:23,113 --> 01:16:26,814 I have the weirdest idea. I think our parents should get married. 963 01:16:26,992 --> 01:16:32,153 What are you talking about? Your dad's already taken. 964 01:16:32,331 --> 01:16:36,331 Well, he might be having a slight change of plans. 965 01:16:41,050 --> 01:16:43,672 Oh, great. Big Ben's up. 966 01:16:44,846 --> 01:16:48,381 Who are you? And you should be in bed, 967 01:16:48,558 --> 01:16:50,302 resting up for tomorrow's wedding. 968 01:16:50,477 --> 01:16:52,137 There ain't gonna be no wedding. 969 01:16:52,312 --> 01:16:56,357 I made LaWanda so ugly, no one's gonna wanna marry her. 970 01:16:56,525 --> 01:16:59,099 LaWanda Dumore's the key to my financial comeback. 971 01:16:59,278 --> 01:17:03,358 And nobody, nobody, is gonna stand in my way. 972 01:17:05,368 --> 01:17:08,951 - Nippy, where'd you go? - This guy's gonna be a problem. 973 01:17:09,122 --> 01:17:12,158 No, he's not. Let's get him! 974 01:17:12,333 --> 01:17:13,532 Yeah! 975 01:17:28,727 --> 01:17:30,934 I'm really tired. 976 01:17:31,980 --> 01:17:36,393 Come on, don't wuss out. This is the only way to get our parents together. 977 01:17:36,569 --> 01:17:38,443 Now come on! 978 01:17:48,957 --> 01:17:53,370 Whoa! It's so much bigger than it looked on Mr Thorn's slide. 979 01:17:57,549 --> 01:17:59,838 So, how do you start this thing? 980 01:18:00,010 --> 01:18:03,261 I don't know. Guess you just make a wish. 981 01:18:03,431 --> 01:18:07,511 Mighty Love Rock, we come to you today to ask a big favour. 982 01:18:07,685 --> 01:18:11,849 We got two parents and we want them to fall in love and get married 983 01:18:12,023 --> 01:18:14,395 so I don't get stuck with that bitch LaWanda. 984 01:18:14,568 --> 01:18:17,819 I hope this isn't asking too much, 985 01:18:17,989 --> 01:18:22,201 but you're a magic rock so you're probably used to these things. 986 01:18:22,369 --> 01:18:24,776 Please help us. 987 01:18:52,359 --> 01:18:53,937 Bye, Annie. 988 01:19:00,576 --> 01:19:02,735 All right, Junior. Get up. 989 01:19:02,912 --> 01:19:06,826 It's a big day. Today you get yourself a mom. 990 01:19:09,461 --> 01:19:12,083 Has Junior ever run away before? 991 01:19:12,256 --> 01:19:16,965 No, it's this wedding thing. It's got him upset. I'm sorry he dragged Trixie into this. 992 01:19:17,136 --> 01:19:21,845 Don't let Trixie off the hook. She's usually responsible for her share of the action. 993 01:19:22,016 --> 01:19:24,934 Junior can be the biggest menace who ever lived. 994 01:19:25,103 --> 01:19:29,730 Well, maybe he was a nuisance in that little town you're from. 995 01:19:29,900 --> 01:19:32,771 You're in Mortville and around here Trixie runs the show. 996 01:19:32,945 --> 01:19:37,690 She's an amateur. Nobody has caused the amount of destruction Junior has. 997 01:19:39,452 --> 01:19:42,536 I guess it's a stupid thing to argue about. 998 01:19:46,334 --> 01:19:47,994 There they are. 999 01:20:02,978 --> 01:20:05,516 Will you look at that? 1000 01:20:05,689 --> 01:20:08,263 Hey, guys. Good morning. 1001 01:20:11,278 --> 01:20:14,944 Hey, the Love Rock worked! 1002 01:20:15,116 --> 01:20:18,366 Up and at 'em, Junior, let's go. Attaboy. 1003 01:20:23,917 --> 01:20:27,167 So, do you need a ride home? 1004 01:20:27,337 --> 01:20:31,750 No, I think we're gonna take a little walk and have a little talk. 1005 01:20:31,925 --> 01:20:35,176 Besides, you've probably got millions of things to do today. 1006 01:20:35,346 --> 01:20:38,466 Yeah, I guess I do have plans. 1007 01:20:38,641 --> 01:20:41,559 So, see ya. 1008 01:20:58,830 --> 01:21:01,867 Typical, Little Ben. You always wait till the last damn minute. 1009 01:21:02,042 --> 01:21:04,829 Dad, don't you wanna go see LaWanda? 1010 01:21:05,003 --> 01:21:08,669 There's a tradition. The groom can't see the bride before the ceremony. 1011 01:21:08,841 --> 01:21:11,546 - But... but... - But... but, my ass. 1012 01:21:11,719 --> 01:21:14,044 Beat it, we're busy. 1013 01:21:14,221 --> 01:21:18,089 Oh, no If Dad doesn't see LaWanda's big schnozz, 1014 01:21:18,267 --> 01:21:20,177 I'm screwed. 1015 01:22:12,326 --> 01:22:13,904 Miss Dumore! 1016 01:22:15,746 --> 01:22:18,783 - Are you all right? - Dad, look at her face. 1017 01:22:21,669 --> 01:22:23,709 Hey, what happened? 1018 01:22:23,880 --> 01:22:26,087 Thought you had me licked, huh? 1019 01:22:26,258 --> 01:22:29,093 It's amazing what $382,000 worth 1020 01:22:29,261 --> 01:22:32,844 of last-minute double overtime plastic surgery can do. 1021 01:22:35,059 --> 01:22:37,183 Benjamin, what's the hold-up? 1022 01:22:38,522 --> 01:22:39,897 Fine. 1023 01:22:40,816 --> 01:22:43,734 Come on, sit down, kid. 1024 01:22:43,902 --> 01:22:45,480 Hit it, padre. 1025 01:22:49,158 --> 01:22:52,942 Dearly beloved, we are gathered today, on this day of joy, 1026 01:22:53,121 --> 01:22:55,363 to unite these two wonderful people. 1027 01:22:55,540 --> 01:22:57,996 No! Dad, don't do it! 1028 01:22:58,168 --> 01:23:00,837 Go for it, Little Ben. Make me proud! 1029 01:23:05,092 --> 01:23:08,093 We are gathered together on this day of joy, 1030 01:23:08,262 --> 01:23:10,587 to unite you two wonderful p... 1031 01:23:15,937 --> 01:23:17,597 Who the hell is that? 1032 01:23:17,772 --> 01:23:19,812 That's my pal Trixie. 1033 01:23:27,700 --> 01:23:29,823 I hate children! 1034 01:23:29,994 --> 01:23:32,320 They ruin everything! 1035 01:23:32,497 --> 01:23:37,539 If I had enough power, I'd wipe them off the face of the earth. 1036 01:23:50,766 --> 01:23:51,965 Junior! 1037 01:24:00,777 --> 01:24:02,485 Nippy! No! 1038 01:24:10,371 --> 01:24:12,328 No, Miss Dumore! No! 1039 01:24:15,459 --> 01:24:17,286 I command you to stop. 1040 01:24:20,132 --> 01:24:24,130 Trixie! You come down here right this minute! 1041 01:24:26,055 --> 01:24:29,923 How many times have I told you not to operate heavy machinery? 1042 01:24:30,101 --> 01:24:33,019 - Annie! - Ben, I am so sorry. 1043 01:24:33,188 --> 01:24:36,058 I couldn't stop her. We've ruined your whole wedding. 1044 01:24:36,233 --> 01:24:40,313 This wedding was meant to be ruined. Annie, you're the one I want. 1045 01:24:41,572 --> 01:24:42,947 What? 1046 01:24:45,951 --> 01:24:48,407 - Yeah! - We did it! 1047 01:24:48,955 --> 01:24:53,949 What the hell are you doing? You gotta scrape your lovely bride off the ground. 1048 01:24:54,127 --> 01:24:57,828 Dad, I don't want to marry LaWanda. I've found someone else. 1049 01:24:58,006 --> 01:25:02,467 Who cares? LaWanda Dumore is a gold- mine. She's worth millions. 1050 01:25:02,636 --> 01:25:05,209 Dad, if you like her so much, you marry her. 1051 01:25:07,057 --> 01:25:09,465 Yeah. Why not? 1052 01:25:16,610 --> 01:25:17,985 Thanks, buddy. 1053 01:25:18,153 --> 01:25:21,357 Dad, I wouldn't have done it for anyone else. 1054 01:25:26,078 --> 01:25:27,454 Let me help you. 1055 01:25:27,622 --> 01:25:30,493 One... two... three... 1056 01:25:35,964 --> 01:25:37,589 Let me help you. 1057 01:25:37,758 --> 01:25:39,834 Not you, dummy. 1058 01:25:40,886 --> 01:25:42,511 Come on, there we go. 1059 01:25:42,680 --> 01:25:44,756 Get your mitts off me. 1060 01:25:44,932 --> 01:25:47,174 I hate your whole family. 1061 01:25:47,351 --> 01:25:50,720 Honey, come here. I'm not like them. 1062 01:25:50,897 --> 01:25:53,898 I'm different. I love you. 1063 01:25:55,443 --> 01:25:58,017 You said you love me? 1064 01:26:00,782 --> 01:26:02,159 Yuck! 1065 01:26:17,176 --> 01:26:18,255 Yeah! 1066 01:26:25,101 --> 01:26:27,343 Nippy! 1067 01:26:27,520 --> 01:26:30,557 Oh, my God. 82658

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