All language subtitles for How I Met Your Mother (2005) - S06E03 - Unfinished (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)-eng
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1
00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:03,704
[ Ted Narrating ]
Kids, in my early days
of being a professor,
2
00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:07,141
I had one simple goal--
give a lecture that changes
someone's life.
3
00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:10,778
Then, one afternoon in 2010,
I achieved that goal.
4
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,713
"Unfinished."
5
00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:15,749
Of all the words you could
use to describe
La Sagrada Familia--
6
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:18,686
"brown," "pointy," "weird"--
7
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,622
the one that really seems
to stick is "unfinished."
8
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:25,359
Why? Because on June 7, 1926,
9
00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,728
the architect,
Antoni GaudÃ,
10
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:31,365
whose beard
was also brown, pointy,
weird and unfinished,
11
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,469
was run over by a bus.
12
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:39,607
And so,
his greatest masterpiece
would remain forever--
13
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,745
But first, let's back up
a few days.
14
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,615
Ted, look, across the bar.
15
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:50,218
Three chicks-- one hot,
one kinda hot...
16
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,420
and one whom I'm assuming
is reall funny.
17
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:53,787
We ride!
18
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,427
- What's wrong?
- I don't know.
Got a burger comin'.
19
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,495
Bro, I told you,
20
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:04,165
if you ever need a wingman,
I'm your guy.
21
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,400
Yeah, I'm not gonna
go through that again.
22
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:10,138
Hi. Barney Stinson.
23
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,406
And I'm Marshall,
Barney's wingman.
24
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,778
Thank you for your time.
25
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,849
Fine. I'll have a three-way
with Hot and Kinda Hot...
26
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,451
while Giggles works the camera.
27
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,419
I ride!
28
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,221
So get this.
29
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,323
Last night, I was watching TV,
and it turns out...
30
00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:33,494
some random satellite channel
picks up a certain
local Chicago newscast.
31
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:36,597
[ Male Announcer ]
And now the Eleven O'Clock News
with Don Frank.
32
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:37,665
Boo!
33
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,400
Oh, man.
34
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,402
It's bad enough
to have to go through
a horrible breakup.
35
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,305
Then to have that person
pop up on your TV?
Are you okay?
36
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,807
Well, I'll admit,
at first I felt a little weird.
37
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,543
But after the initial shock,
I realized something.
38
00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,145
I've moved on.
39
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,614
[ Clicks Off ]
40
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,449
Finished with that.
41
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,751
[ Sighs ]
42
00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,188
It was a peaceful
moment of closure.
43
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,422
That's great.
44
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,657
- Good on you.
- Yeah. Thank you.
45
00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:06,160
Where's the poop,
Robin?
Excuse me?
46
00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:08,862
When I was a kid,
I had a dog named Bean.
47
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,565
Whenever he made
the face that you're
making right now,
48
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:14,568
you just knew he pooped
somewhere in the house.
49
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,771
Where's the poop, Robin?
50
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,673
- I don't know what
you're talking about.
- Where's the poop, Robin?
51
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,242
- There's no poop.
- Where's the poop?
52
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,610
Okay.
53
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,246
So it wasn't entirely
a peaceful moment of closure.
54
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:28,249
Hey, Don, here's
some breaking news.
55
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,918
There's a zit breaking out
on your forehead.
[ Laughs ]
56
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,823
Finished with that.
57
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,225
[ Shatters ]
58
00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:41,262
Look, I'm not proud.
59
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:44,565
But Don left so quickly
that I never got the chance
to have that final showdown.
60
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,668
So yelling at him,
even on TV,
61
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,403
felt kinda good.
62
00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:53,207
And you know what?
Now I truly am over him.
63
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:54,375
That's great.
64
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,809
- Thank you.
- Good on you.
65
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,245
Where's the poop, Robin?
66
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,712
Damn it!
67
00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:01,815
[ Sighs ]
Okay, in the process
of truly getting over him,
68
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,218
I may have called him...
69
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:07,688
and left an...
indelicate voice mail.
70
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,423
I am gonna kill you.
71
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,494
I'm gonna fly to Chicago,
kill you,
72
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,697
put your stupid face
on a deep-dish pizza...
73
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,432
and eat it.
74
00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:20,634
And then maybe catch
a Bears game.
75
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:24,772
But mostly the "killing
and eating your face" thing.
76
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,708
Give me your phone.
We're deleting Don's number.
77
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:31,679
Don't worry.
I am never doing that again.
It was a one-time thing.
78
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,614
Prove it.
"Delete contact."
79
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,215
[ Sighs ]
80
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,319
There. Deleted.
[ Beeps ]
81
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:41,922
Oh. Hey, wow.
Back already.
82
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,325
How was flying solo?
83
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,260
And by solo, I mean...
84
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:48,696
"so low"
that you got shot down.
85
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,565
Look, I didn't
get shot down.
86
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,901
Trust me,
I'll get the "yes."
87
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:57,971
Barney Stinson always
gets the "yes."
88
00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:00,508
This is all
part of the plan.
89
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:03,811
After initial contact,
I'm now in
the ignoring phase.
90
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:07,515
Barney, why can't you just
take a girl out to dinner
like a normal person?
91
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:12,286
Golden rule: I do not buy
dinner to get the "yes."
92
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,755
Dinner's a very
intimate activity.
93
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,525
It requires
a level of connection...
94
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,560
and eye contact
that sex just doesn't.
95
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,062
Call me old-fashioned,
96
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,064
but I need to have
sex with a girl
at least three times...
97
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,334
before I'll even consider
having dinner with her.
98
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,337
[ Ted Narrating ]
The next day
at the university,
99
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,004
I had a surprise visitor.
100
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,740
What are you
doing here?
101
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,008
Oh, God!
You're dating
one of my students.
102
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:36,844
It's Rachel, isn't it?
103
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,613
Barney, I know she wears
provocative sweaters,
but she's 19!
104
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,850
[ Groans ]
Now I'm gonna have to hear
all about it, right?
105
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,885
Go on. Tell me every detail.
106
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,921
No, you pent-up old perv.
I brought you a present.
107
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,759
Recognize this?
108
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,428
It's my building.
109
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:57,064
[ Ted Narrating ]
Kids, you may remember
that a few years earlier,
110
00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:01,769
I was chosen to design
the new Manhattan headquarters
for Goliath National Bank.
111
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,638
It was the opportunity
every architect dreams about.
112
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:07,575
And when the project
was ultimately scrapped,
[ Eraser Scratching ]
113
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,343
it broke my heart.
114
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:12,746
Do you remember how awesome
it was to be coworkers--
115
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,716
nay, bro-workers?
116
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,551
Wait a minute.
You don't mean--
117
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,920
Ted Mosby, it's back on.
118
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,490
We're gonna build your building.
119
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,859
** [ Upbeat Pop ]
120
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,397
** [ Man Vocalizing ]
121
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,370
** [ Ends ]
122
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:41,642
This is awesome.
You're designing
our new headquarters?
123
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:45,879
Now, there will be voices
that tell you a hockey rink
on the roof is unfeasible.
124
00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:48,382
You've got to shut
those voices out.
125
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:51,051
Actually, I think
I'm gonna say no.
126
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,620
No? Are you kidding me?
127
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,488
But designing a building
in New York City...
128
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:55,989
is your lifelong dream.
129
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,526
I do not want to work
for GNB again.
130
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,861
Those guys are evil.
No offense, Marshall.
131
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,763
Dude, none taken.
132
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:05,098
Yes, GNB is, uh,
133
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,535
the Empire from Star Wars.
134
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:10,504
But the Death Star's
gonna get built either way.
135
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,440
And don't you think the
architect of the Death Star...
136
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,741
is pretty psyched to have...
137
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,776
that thing on his space résumé?
138
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,478
I mean, yes, his design was
flawed...
139
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,979
in the sense that a single
bullet...
140
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,415
fired into a particular vent
would explode the whole thing.
141
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:23,684
For all we know,
that was the contractor's fault.
142
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,753
But that won't happen
on your watch. You know why?
143
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:26,887
Because you're Ted Mosby,
144
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,121
and you are gonna design...
145
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,190
the most beautiful, ventless,
146
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,826
Rebel-proof building
in Manhattan.
147
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,528
With clearly marked
emergency stops...
148
00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,630
for every trash compactor
on the detention level.
149
00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:39,066
Look, I know this is
hard to understand,
150
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:42,770
but right now I have a quiet,
simple, happy little life.
151
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,472
And I like it that way.
152
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:47,074
I know what my answer has to be.
153
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,642
I can't take the job,
Barney.
154
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,044
I'm done with that life.
No hard feelings?
155
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,080
Of course not.
156
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,615
All right.
157
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,752
Hey, Professor Mosby.
Hey, Rachel.
158
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,824
[ Ted Narrating ]
And I thought that was
the end of the story.
159
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,693
- But then that night--
- I'm telling you,
160
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,596
no architect would ever design
a giant exposed vent...
161
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,063
right over a Death Star's
core reactor.
162
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,065
That's Space Architecture 101.
163
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,167
It had to be the contractor.
Barney, come on. Back me up.
164
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:16,737
Barney?
165
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,973
Dude, this is important.
166
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,142
I need another drink.
Marshall, you want anything?
167
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,678
Uh, no. I'm fine.
168
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:30,718
Okay, I get that he's mad at me
for turning down the job, but
acting like I'm not even here?
169
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,786
Wait. You turned down
the job? When?
170
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,221
This morning.
171
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,223
That's so weird.
172
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,892
Just, like, an hour ago
when we were leaving work--
173
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:41,562
So, uh, you still think
Ted's gonna take the job?
174
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,697
[ Scoffs ] Please.
I'll get the "yes."
175
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:46,734
Barney Stinson always...
176
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:47,868
gets the "yes."
177
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,236
[ Chuckles ]
178
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:50,904
Huh.
179
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,106
Am I wrong, or is that
exactly what Barney says...
180
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,975
when he's putting
the moves on a girl?
181
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,511
Exactly. I mean,
it's almost like he's
putting the moves on you.
182
00:07:57,545 --> 00:08:00,147
Yeah, more like the opposite.
He's been ignoring me all night.
183
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,685
- Oh!
- Oh!
184
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,287
Barney wants me
to take the job so bad,
he's putting the moves on me?
185
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,957
I hope that's his endgame.
186
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,760
Actually, I don't.
I like you two together.
187
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,563
I don't buy it.
That's crazy even for Barney.
188
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,198
Okay, well, think about it.
We've seen his moves
countless times.
189
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,834
What does he do after
he's done ignoring a girl?
190
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:23,937
- Chrissy, I love your glasses.
- Really?
191
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:26,674
They totally pull focus up
from that whole chin
situation you got going on.
192
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,077
To Chrissy!
193
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,013
The backhanded compliment
to lower her self-esteem.
A proven winner.
194
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,682
But Barney hasn't done--
Ted,
195
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,750
I admire your loyalty.
196
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,652
You've had
that hairstyle forever.
197
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,821
You don't care
that it's out of fashion...
198
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,790
or that it's been co-opted
by the lesbian community.
199
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:43,757
You stick with it.
200
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:45,593
To Ted.
201
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,562
Hey, Lily.
202
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,765
Don't "Hey, Lily" me.
203
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:54,835
I smelled poop all the way
from the hallway.
204
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,904
[ Sighs ]
No, not this again.
205
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,105
Where's the poop, Robin?
206
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,941
Okay, I left Don
another message.
207
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,042
[ Gasps ]
208
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,276
"This just in"...
209
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:07,014
is what I'm gonna say
when I'm stabbing you.
210
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:10,050
But that's impossible.
You deleted his number.
211
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:13,020
I tried to, but then this
thing popped up on my phone
that said, "Are you sure?"
212
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,688
And I wasn't sure.
213
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,256
I can't lie to my phone.
214
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:20,594
Ooh, sweetie,
I totally understand.
Delete it!
215
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,295
It's not that easy, okay?
216
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,733
You're not just deleting
a number. You're deleting
a part of your life.
217
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,301
You know, all those memories,
all those experiences.
218
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:31,004
It's like you're admitting
they're gone forever.
219
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,974
I know, sweetie.
I know.
220
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,275
Delete it!
221
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,110
Okay. If it's that easy,
222
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:39,012
I'm gonna delete one of your
numbers from your phone.
223
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,081
See how you like it.
My "plezh"!
224
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,383
If you can find a number
in there that I don't
call regularly,
225
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,085
I'll gladly delete it.
226
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,820
"Super Kicks Karate."
227
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:49,256
Oh, not that one.
That's my dojo.
228
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,024
You have a dojo?
229
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,927
I took an introductory
karate class.
230
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,028
[ Karate Yells ]
231
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,097
Oops! Wrong room.
232
00:09:57,130 --> 00:10:00,167
Where do the grown-ups go
for the real karate class?
233
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,236
What's the matter, lady?
You scared?
234
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:06,940
[ Laughs ]
Of you? Please.
I'm a kindergarten teacher.
235
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:09,076
I hated kindergarten--
236
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,111
all three times.
237
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,180
[ Karate Yell ]
[ Screams ]
238
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,983
But I'm totally gonna
sign up for more lessons.
239
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,418
How long ago did you
take that class?
240
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,954
I don't know.
It was around the time...
241
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:24,391
when everyone was going,
"Whassup?"
242
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:27,094
[ Chuckles ]
How do you even remember that?
243
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,963
Whassup!
244
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:33,066
Lily, this is a number
that you will never dial again.
245
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,202
I might.
No. No. But you
keep it on your phone...
246
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,938
because it reminds you
of a version of yourself
that you could be,
247
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,407
even if it's
a version of yourself
that you'll never become.
248
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,842
And that's okay.
249
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,443
No, it's not.
250
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,713
Okay, you know what?
There. Gone.
[ Beeps ]
251
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,748
Your move, Scherbatsky.
252
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,918
[ Groans ]
I finally know
what your kind goes through.
253
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,452
[ Door Closes ]
I get it now.
254
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,688
For the last time,
I don't care how big it was.
255
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,356
It is not the same
as giving birth.
256
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,391
Ew. No.
257
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:01,061
Barney's been
"putting the moves" on Ted.
258
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,296
- [ Sighs ]
- Oh, that sucks.
259
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,432
Although I like
you two together.
Mmm.
260
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,334
No. He's been doing it...
261
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:10,370
to try to get Ted
to design the new GNB Tower.
262
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,439
Which moves
are we talking about?
Did he do that thing...
263
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,242
where he brags on himself
in the form of a complaint?
264
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:19,713
Man. Every time
I take out my business card
and women see the GNB logo,
265
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,181
they throw themselves at me.
266
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:22,816
I miss the chase.
267
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,885
It sucks!
268
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,487
Man, the courtside Knicks
seats that are available...
269
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,858
to all upper-level
GNB employees are
too close to the action!
270
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,726
I keep getting sweat
on my suit.
271
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,762
It sucks!
272
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:38,165
Man, GNB's benefits package
is so comprehensive...
273
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,500
it gives me the freedom
to see any doctor I want.
274
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,469
It sucks!
275
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,338
- He did.
- And the intense
eye contact thing?
276
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:50,010
So, Ted, would you like to
split some jalapeño poppers?
277
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:56,349
Uh, o-okay.
278
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,851
Yep.
279
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,753
And the thing where
he establishes intimacy...
280
00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:01,354
through physical contact?
281
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,891
You know why jalapeño poppers
are so good?
282
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,525
It's the cream cheese.
283
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,895
That is so true.
284
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,062
Yep.
285
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,834
Cream cheese is
a mild flav-flavor,
so it--
286
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:17,004
it balances out
the spiciness of the jal--
287
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:19,206
the spiciness of the--
the--
288
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,207
Dude!
289
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,510
So at any point in this,
did you say,
290
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:27,981
"Barney, I know what you're
doing, and it's not gonna work.
I am not taking that job"?
291
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:30,818
I-- Well, I mean,
not exactly in those--
292
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:33,053
- You're loving this.
- No.
293
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,788
You are.
294
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,556
You're loving the attention.
295
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:40,027
It's nice to be wanted,
okay?
296
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,863
And, yes, this is a new vest.
Thank you all for noticing.
297
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:45,398
Oh, that's right.
You didn't. Barney did.
298
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:49,903
Oh, Teddy, you are so
gonna spread your legs
and design that building.
299
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,572
[ Gasps ]
I am not
that kind of architect.
300
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,308
[ Laughing ]
301
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:58,478
So get this.
Robin never deleted
Don's number.
302
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,048
Boo!
303
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,582
Oh! Oh, everyone thinks
it's so easy.
304
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,451
Give me your phone.
Let's delete one of yours.
305
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:05,953
Uh, okay.
Mmm.
306
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,021
No problem.
307
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:11,024
If you can find a number
that I don't need or shouldn't
have in here, be my guest.
308
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:14,394
But good luck.
I keep my phone tight.
309
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,363
- Edwin.
- Oh, no. Not that one.
310
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:19,366
That's the booker
for the club
that my band plays at.
311
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,334
You know,
my all-lawyer funk band.
You remember.
312
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,204
The Funk, the Whole Funk
and Nothing but the Funk.
313
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,139
** [ Funk ]
* Your witness lied
314
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:29,042
* So your case is sunk
Ha!
315
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:32,980
* I sentence you
to a life of funk *
316
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,614
* Counselors,
how do you plead? *
317
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,549
Funky!
Funky!
318
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,851
Kick it.
319
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,887
** [ Continues ]
320
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:46,593
You guys played one gig
four years ago.
I'm deleting it.
321
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,529
No. No.
We're gonna play another gig
again, probably really soon.
322
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,564
Just we all got
super busy and--
323
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,269
We're not gonna play
another gig again, are we?
324
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:58,271
Probably not, baby.
325
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,473
See, it's hard to hit
that delete button, isn't it?
326
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,176
Well, it's just that
without that number
in my phone,
327
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:07,347
I'm just a corporate lawyer
working 60 very un-funky
hours a week.
328
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,482
Sorry, Marshall.
329
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,318
If I have to, you have to.
330
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,890
[ Beeps ]
331
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,559
Okay. Your turn.
332
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,063
[ Sighs ]
333
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,101
[ Beeps ]
334
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,341
Barney, I gotta
tell you something.
335
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,143
Oh. That reminds me--
336
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:39,679
I got you...
a little airplane.
337
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,449
It represents
the spirit of adventure.
338
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,351
Do you like it, Ted?
339
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,519
Do you?
340
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,990
Stop it. Stop looking at me
like I'm the only person
in the world who matters.
341
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,927
I'm not designing
the GNB Tower.
342
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:57,064
Yeah. I know.
You turned it down.
We hired someone else.
343
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,065
Oh.
344
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,101
Oh.
345
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:04,037
Can you believe it?
He's resorting to the oldest
move in the book--
346
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:07,307
the classic "pretend to take
the offer off the table
so I'll want it more."
347
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,309
So obvious, right?
348
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:12,946
As if that's gonna
make me be, like, "Oh, God,
I never should have said no."
349
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:15,382
It's not a move, dude.
350
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,285
I executed the paperwork
for the new architect
this morning.
351
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,619
Barney wasn't lying.
352
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,123
Oh, God, I never
should have said no!
353
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,530
Come on.
GNB didn't really
hire a new architect.
354
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,465
This is just
one of Barney's moves.
355
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:35,735
It's not a move, dude.
The senior partners
were getting impatient.
356
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,337
I thought you didn't even
want the job.
357
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,106
I didn't.
358
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,440
I don't.
359
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:41,608
I don't.
360
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,742
I don't.
361
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,112
Okay, I'll do it.
What?
362
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:47,147
Ted, it's too late.
363
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,382
I'll design it for half
of what you're paying
the other architect.
364
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:52,419
And you know I will do stuff
they would never do.
365
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,621
Lobby stuff.
366
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,290
Wow. Half?
367
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,626
Ted, on behalf of
Goliath National Bank--
368
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,594
- Okay, it's a move.
- What?
369
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,496
- Dude!
- There's no other architect.
370
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,565
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I lied.
371
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:08,435
I was being Barney's wingman,
and I never get to be
the wingman.
372
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,237
You guys lied to me?
373
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:11,738
You're the world's
worst wingman.
You know what?
374
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,206
I'm out of here.
375
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,009
I can do better.
Take me back.
376
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,644
You son of a bitch!
377
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,712
Look, I can't do business
with people who lie to me.
378
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:23,216
We only lied to you
to make you realize
that you want this job.
379
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:26,153
No, I don't. I mean,
I-I know I said I did,
380
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,388
but that's only because
I fell for the same...
381
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,091
creepy pickup artist voodoo
of yours that countless women--
382
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,225
236.
383
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,393
before me fell for.
384
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,494
Wow. Respect.
385
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:39,232
No. Ted, you want
to do this, okay?
386
00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,268
You're just scared
of getting hurt again.
387
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,803
But you can't let fear
steal your funk.
388
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,606
That is good.
There is a song in there.
Excuse me.
389
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:51,644
Come on, Ted.
This is your dream.
390
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,713
No. It's not.
Not anymore.
391
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,815
And you know what?
392
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,418
Letting go of that dream
was the best decision
I ever made.
393
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:01,554
You guys actually think
I have some lingering itch
to be an architect,
394
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:04,324
work 20 hours a day
and weekends to get ulcers...
395
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,094
and pull my hair out and worry
and doubt myself, and then,
396
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:10,363
at the end of it all,
have the rug pulled out
from under me?
397
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:13,166
I love being a professor,
okay?
398
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,803
All that stupid crap they
tell you about how fulfilling
teaching is-- it's all true.
399
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,307
I'm happy, and I'm not
letting go of that.
400
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,375
My answer's no.
401
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,847
Hey, guys.
402
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,383
- Where's the poop, Robin?
- How do you do that?
403
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:33,086
God, you are like
a bomb-sniffing dog,
except with poop.
404
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,587
You're a poop-sniffing dog.
405
00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:36,489
I think that's
just called a dog.
406
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,425
Where's the poop, Robin?
407
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,793
[ Sighs ]
Fine. I called Don again.
408
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:45,198
Hey, Don, it's Robin again.
409
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:47,800
Uh, look, I am sorry
for all the calls.
410
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,702
It's just
I saw you on the news,
411
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,472
and it made me
a little crazy for a minute.
[ Chuckles ]
412
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:55,342
I guess I wasn't as over
our breakup as I thought.
413
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:59,312
Um, but I want to say
from the bottom of my heart,
414
00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:01,114
I am gonna kill you.
415
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:03,250
No.
[ Chuckling ]
No, I'm not.
416
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,352
I am happy for you.
417
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:08,488
And that Asian slut
on your Facebook page--
she's dead too.
418
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:09,656
[ Beeps ]
419
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,724
I thought you deleted
his number.
420
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,261
[ Sighs ] I did.
But it turns out
I memorized it.
421
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,396
You can't delete contacts
from your brain, Lily.
422
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,698
Well, you have to try.
If you ever want
to have closure--
423
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:21,234
I am never gonna
have closure.
424
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:22,902
Okay?
Closure doesn't exist.
425
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,372
Okay-- One day, Don and I
are moving in together,
426
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,874
and the next thing I know,
he's on a plane to Chicago.
427
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:31,211
It just... ended.
428
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:34,414
** [ Alt Rock ]
And no matter how much I try
to forget that it happened,
429
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,783
it will have
never not happened.
430
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,352
Don and I will always
be a loose end.
431
00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:40,553
We'll always be--
432
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,722
"Unfinished."
433
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:45,325
** [ Continues ]
434
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,594
GaudÃ, to his credit,
never gave up on his dream.
435
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,629
But that's not usually
how it goes.
436
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:52,399
I mean, usually it isn't
a speeding bus...
437
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:55,602
that keeps the brown,
pointy, weird church
from getting built.
438
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,371
Most of the time,
it's just too difficult...
439
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,840
or too expensive
or too scary.
440
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,244
It's only
once you've stopped...
441
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,445
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
442
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,814
that you realize how hard
it is to start again.
443
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:10,383
So you force yourself
not to want it.
444
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,853
But it's always there.
445
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:16,523
And until you finish it,
it will always be--
446
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,629
[ Man ]
* While you're waiting
447
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,698
* For that sound
448
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:28,501
* What you find
[ Tires Screech ]
449
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,337
* Ain't what you had in mind
450
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,372
** [ Continues ]
451
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,475
Hey, Barney.
Hey, Rachel.
452
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,977
Rachel, why aren't
you in class?
453
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,946
- Why aren't you in class?
- Yeah, Ted.
454
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,748
Why aren you in class?
455
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,819
** [ Continues, Indistinct ]
456
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,388
You son of a bitch.
457
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:52,759
I'll call Marshall.
We'll draw up the contract.
458
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:53,993
Not so fast.
459
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,396
I'm not that easy.
460
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,698
[ Ted Narrating ]
And so I made Barney
break his golden rule.
461
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:00,567
I made him
take me out to dinner...
462
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,737
before I finally gave him
the thing he always got.
463
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:05,838
Yes.
464
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:10,677
And even though it didn't
happen right away--
465
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,780
[ Male Announcer ]
And now the Eleven O'Clock News
with Don Frank.
466
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,615
** [ Continues, Indistinct ]
467
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:16,549
[ Beeps ]
468
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,386
[ Woman ]
Bueno.
469
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:21,388
Uh, who is this?
470
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,723
No hablo inglés.
¿Quién es?
471
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,859
I'm sorry.
Is this 917-456--
472
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:29,429
I'm sorry.
465-- No, wait.
473
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,432
Huh.
474
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,501
[ Ted Narrating ]
Robin finally got
some closure too.
475
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,471
Sorry. Wrong number.
476
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,607
** [ Man Vocalizing ]
[ Beeps ]
477
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:43,310
Finished with that.
478
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:44,544
[ Clicks Off ]
479
00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:51,851
** [ Spaghetti Western Theme ]
480
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:58,458
Hey, punk,
bit of advice--
481
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:02,295
Next time you step on
a kindergarten teacher's neck,
482
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,431
you better finish the job.
483
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:06,433
I knew this day would come.
484
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:08,735
** [ Gong Chimes ]
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