All language subtitles for Cheers S10E18 License To Hill Dvdrip Xvid-Macro

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Hey, Woody,
come here a second, man.

Something's really
bugging me.

Whatever it is,
I don't know

what you're talking about.

'Cause I've never
lied about anything.

This is Woody,
remember?

Company man, team player,
true blue.

You know, maybe
if you turn

that microscope
on yourself,

you might find some things
that aren't so pretty.

I can't work
in this atmosphere,

all this suspicion

and this constant
interrogation.

What do you people
want from me?

I didn't do anything,
all right?

I'm telling you,
I am innocent!

Okay, okay.

You remember
three months ago,

that day I called
in sick?
Woody...

Sam, shut up, it's
my turn to talk!

I... I was sick,

but a couple hours later,
I started feeling better,

and I could've come in
for half a day, but...

(crying):
instead, I stayed
home and did laundry

and watched Oprah 'cause
she had circus freaks on.

I'm so ashamed!

Oh, good, that
feels better.

I've been carrying that
around for three months.

(deep breath)

I was just gonna say
your tag's sticking up

on your sweater here.

Oh.

Well, then forget
I said anything.

I was just
kidding you, Sam.

Just kidding you.

I think I covered pretty well.

(theme song begins)

� Making your way
in the world today �

� Takes everything you've got �

� Taking a break
from all your worries �

� Sure would help a lot �

� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �

� Sometimes you want to go �

� Where everybody
knows your name �

� And they're always
glad you came �

� You wanna be
where you can see �

� Our troubles
are all the same �

� You wanna be where
everybody knows your name �

� You wanna go
where people know �

� People are all the same �

� You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. �

Oh, good afternoon,
Miss Tortelli.

Well, if it isn't John
Cougar Mellonhead.

Thank you for last night,
Miss Tortelli.

I wasn't with
you last night.
I know,

and don't think
I don't appreciate it.

Oh, Sam!

Yes, John, what
can I do for you?

Sam, I have a
small request.

For the next three hours,
I need you and the rest

of the Cheers chimps
to hold down the noise.

Right now, I'm
entertaining

200 elderly women

from the Daughters of
the American Revolution.

Giving them a firsthand
account, John?

Very amusing.

Sam, this vent connects
directly to my dining room

and often, we can hear
everything you say down here,

so tell your mailman to go
to that side of the bar

if he wants to describe
his fungal infections.

You know, I have
to second that.

Well, sure, John.

Heck, you should've come down
and told us sooner.

We'll be happy to oblige you.

Well, thank you, Sam.

That's uncharacteristically
civil of you.

Oh!

If you all behave yourselves
for the next three hours,

maybe I'll take you out
for ice cream.

Would you like that?

Why don't you just
get lost, you sweathog.

Sewer rat.

Bag of bones.
Maggot.

Am I the only one
who finds him really attractive?

You believe that guy?
So damned condescending.

Ah, Sammy, not so loud.

He'll get angry--
we won't get the ice cream.

I think I'm on to something.

(chuckles)

SAM:
Yeah, yeah,
here you go.

(high-pitched voice):
Eek, eek!

Oh, there's a rat!

Oh, my God,
there's another big rat!

(numerous
running footsteps)

(rumbling)

(Sam laughing)

I think that
was very successful!

Except you got a bunch
of dust in my beer here, Sam.

Um, sorry, I'll get
you another one.

HILL:
Sam!

Before I spend the remainder
of the afternoon

trying to sort out
whose walker is whose,

I want to say
one thing.

I live for the day
when I can close this bar down

and put you
out on the street.

Eh, he doesn't
scare me.

You ought to see him
with just the night light on.

Hey, everybody.

Got everything
we need

for our marathon poker fest.

Yeah? Did you
bring the chips?

Oh, yeah, I've got, uh,

red ones, blue ones,
white ones...

No, no, no--
the chips!

Ranch, mesquite,
sour cream.

Don't you have any idea
how to play this game?

Yeah, I think so.

So, you guys having a
big poker game, huh?

NORM:
Yep.

You know, uh,
I always wanted

to learn how to play that game.

You, uh, you never
played poker there, Woody?

No.

Played all kinds
of card games in Hanover,

but never poker.

I was pretty good, too.

I'd win all the time.
Yeah?

Yeah, chicken in a box,
one-eyed rooster,

possum on a pole.

What kind of
games are that?

No, no, no, that's
what the winner got.

You know, guys, I
think it's time

Woody learned how to
play a little poker.

Yeah?
Really?

Thanks a lot.

How can I ever
thank you guys?

Oh, I don't know, we'll
think of a way, Woody.

Say, you guys got, uh,
room for one more?

Uh, well, yeah, okay,
it's all right with us,

but I've got to warn you,
we're gonna be playing

into the wee smalls.

Uh, you might want
to check

with the old
"ball and Crane."

I don't have to ask
Lilith if I can play.

I'm an independent
person.

I can make my
own decisions.

It's all right
with me, Frasier.

I wasn't asking.

Regardless,
I still approve.

Well, approve all you
want to-- I don't care.

I'm gonna play poker,
stay out late.

Stay out all night
if you like.

You have
my permission.

Stop it.

Very well, Frasier.

Please stay home
with your wife and child.

We need you.

Forget it, woman--
gotta be me!

Let's party, boys.

NORM:
Sammy, are you in?

No, I gotta make sure things run
out here, you know?

I can't concentrate
on the game

and the bar
at the same time.

What about me?
What am I here for?

Oh, right--
and I have to worry

about Rebecca, too.

You know, Sam,
that really ticks me off.

If you don't appreciate
what I do,

why don't I just quit?

Oh, come on,
sweetheart, I...

I appreciate everything
you do around here.

Really?
Yeah.

What do I do?

Well...

now, come on, don't back
me in a corner like this.

So, it's not worth it
to have me around.

I'm useless,
is that it?

No, come on, honey,
you are real valuable

around here doing...

all the things
that you do, all right?

All right, fine, listen,
all right, all right.

If it'll make
you feel better,

I'll go play a little
poker, all right?

You can take care
of things out here.

Okay, don't think
that I can't.

I mean, I am competent.
I am damn competent.

You know, I mean,
I'm not just some lackey

who carries receipts around
in a cigar box all day long.

I mean, I know
what I'm doing.

I have a business degree.

And I have a lot
of experience.

And I am very, very,
very good at doing...

all the things
that I do.

Like what?

Hey, come on, don't back
me in the corner here.

You know, there is nothing
like a good cigar.

And this is nothing
like a good cigar.

Yeah, this blanket ought
to keep the smoke

away from the customers.

Good idea, Sammy--
more for us.

Guys, I've gotta be honest
with you.

I was just trying
to hustle you out there.

I do know how
to play poker.

And to tell you
the truth,

I was the best poker player
in Hanover.

Uh-huh.
WOODY:
Actually,

I was the best poker player

in the entire
metro Hanover area.

Well, uh,

you're in the city
now, Woody.

Well, I guess you
do play different

than a bunch of farm boys.

Oh, yeah.
Yes, we do.

Why don't you
sit down, Woodrow.

Oh, thanks.

WOODY:
Take it easy on me.

Okay, okay.

So, what sort of game would
you like to play, huh?

Well, how about, uh,...

"Five blind piglets
and one full teat?"

What the heck kind
of game is that?

That's where five city boys
lose all their money.

Oh, Lilith, being
in charge again

is so invigorating.

I feel great!

This will
really show Sam.

Bravo.

Some men still need to learn

that women can take on roles
traditionally held by men

and perform them as well
or better.

We live in an era of
female brain surgeons,

astronauts,
Supreme Court Justices.

And bar managers.

Yes.

Do you see the nifty way
I always keep this down?

It creates much more
surface area for new drinks.

Coming through!

Of course, I still
have to iron out

a few of the kinks.

Oh, hey, Rebecca,
this letter came back.

Oh, dear, I must have put
the wrong postage on it.

Uh-oh.

What?

It's a renewal for our
liquor license, and...

I was supposed to have
sent it in two weeks ago.

What are you saying?

We have no
liquor license?

Yeah.

Do you realize we're
serving alcohol in here?

I mean, they could
shut us down forever.

I know.

I'm okay, I'm okay,
I'm in charge.

This is a crisis,
that's right,

but I can handle this.

I will
simply call

the state liquor board
and I... I will tell them

I screwed up and I am sure
they will understand.

And what are we supposed to do
in the meantime?

Well, no one will know
if we don't say anything,

so you just keep
your mouth shut.

You are to tell no one,
do you understand? No one!

Gotcha.

Where are you going?
To tell Sam.

No!

If you tell Sam,

he won't even let me carry
the cigar box around!

I know.

That's why I'm
gonna tell him.

All right,
you evil thing.

What do you want?

(chortling)

Let's see, what do you
think would be fair?

Say, uh, Carla, we're supposed
to be Rebecca's friends.

Now, I could just
as easily say,

"Rebecca, I'm gonna tell Sam
unless you sleep with me."

Exactly!

So, will you?

LILITH:
Paul.

She forgot to renew
a liquor license.

She didn't burn down
an orphanage.

How's it going
out here?

Fine, fine!

I'm in charge!

Good, good.
Uh, you don't
even need

to come out here,
not even for a second.

I just want to get the
fellas some more beer.

Sam, if you need beer,
I'll bring you the beer.

Sam, this is your day
to relax.

Hey, Sammy.
REBECCA:
Paul!

Do you want to go
out with me tonight?

Just the two of us?

I suppose so.

Paul, is there something
you want to say?

Forget it,
I just got lucky.

Rebecca, come here.

Y-You're going out
to dinner with Paul?

Yes, I am.

You know, y-you might want to
think about computer dating.

Ads in the
personals.

I underst--
I'll bring you the beer.

CARLA:
Okay, Becks.

They said you just have to go

down to the liquor license
board in the morning

and they'll rubber-stamp
the renewal.

Oh, good.
In the meantime,

we just can't serve
any alcohol.
Okay,

we can't serve
any alcohol.

Fine, I can
deal with that.

Miss, I'd like a Scotch
and soda, please.

We're all out of Scotch.

How about a bourbon?

We're out
of bourbon.

What's that behind you?

I don't see
anything.

Right there, behind you--
all those bottles.

I said I don't
see anything!

Carla, Carla, it's all right.

Sir, here is
your Scotch and soda.

Rebecca.
It's all right.

I have a plan,
just watch this.

Here you go.

N-N-N-N-No.

I don't need
any money.

I want you to take this

and just think of it
as a gift from me--

Rebecca Howe,
private citizen

and in no way affiliated
with this bar.

Thanks.

You see that?

That's all we have to do,
that's the answer.

All we have to do is give
everybody free alcohol

and not take any money
for it,

and this bar can stay
in business forever.

Ow!

Rebecca,
let me get that for you.

Ow!

LILITH:
I'm sorry, are you all right?

Yes, just put it down.

Ow!
Oh!

Rebecca?
Yes?

You're taking
money for a drink?

I thought the plan was to
give them away for free.

No, see, I realized

we couldn't really afford
to do that

about $1,200 ago,

so now what we're doing
is tricking them.

You see, Carla and I
have taken all the bottles

and put colored water
in them,

and we're serving
non-alcoholic beer

Aha.
and soft drinks.

Can I have a strawberry
daiquiri, miss?

Oh, yes, coming
right up.

Kool-Aid on
crushed ice.

Hey, Rebecca.

Hi, Sam.

I came for some more
beers for the guys.

They're going through
it like it's water.

Well, it's not.

You, you sure everything
is going all right?

Yes, you'll get your beer.

Just get back in there,
go on.

All right.

This is very interesting,
Rebecca.

Allow me to help
in your little charade.

(loudly):
I'd like a Scotch, please.

(in normal voice):
I've done some acting
in my time.

Thank you.

Whoa!

(coughs)

Smooth!

That was very good,
Lilith.

You really have
a mischievous side to you.

I was The Bad Seed
in high school.

Whoa, scary play.

Oh, that's right, it was a play.

Excuse me, miss.

My rum and Coke here tastes

an awful lot
like Coke and coffee.

Oh, let me
smell that.

Oh... that rum smells
pretty strong to me.

Hey, you know...

when you can't smell
or taste the alcohol,

that's a sign that
you might be having

a little
drinking problem.

Excuse me?

I think you ought
to get some help.

In the meantime, how about
another rum and Coke?

We just put up
a fresh pot.

Forget it.

Look, everybody
is leaving.

So?

So, if Sam finds out, th-then
he'll know something's wrong.

Come on, get those guys,
get them back here.

Uh, excuse me, sir.

Can I talk to
you a minute?

(Carla speaking
quietly)

(indistinct chatter)

Wow, what did
you say to them?

Oh, I just told them
that in a few minutes

you're going to
take off your clothes

and dance on the tables in
just your bra and panties.

Good thinking.

You sure everything's okay
back here?
Oh!

Yeah, ev-everything's,
everything's just fine.

Come on, baby,
show us your stuff.

What-What's that?

What are they, what
are they saying?

Oh, it's, it's nothing.

I just have some stuff
and... they want to see it.

Now go on back in there,
come on.

We're just about ready
to get that beer for you.

Go on, there's more beer
on its way.

All right,
all right.

Carla, take some non-alcoholic
beer back there to those guys.

I thought you were going
to do that.

I have a show to do.

Here you go, guys.

It's your fifth round.

Hope you can handle it.

What does
that mean, Carla?

Nothing.

Wait a minute,
what did you put in the beer?

Nothing.

You know,

fellas, normally
I'm a great believer

in responsible drinking,

but, uh, boy, this stuff
really goes down easy.

(chuckles)

And besides, Ma knows I'm out
with the boys tonight, you know.

If I don't come home
with a little glow on,

she'll tease me
till I cry.

All right, I call.

I got you this time,
fellas, read 'em and weep,

Aces over tens.

(all groan)

FRASIER:
Ay, yi-yi.

WOODY:
Oh, no, I'm sorry, Sam,

uh, I got a couple of pairs--
eights and threes.

Woody, aces and tens
beat eights and threes.

Oh, I'm sorry,
here's one more three.

Full house-- (screams)

(laughing)

I know
I'm the only one laughing,

but believe me,
it's really funny.

Woody, your obnoxious,
gloating behavior

is not making you
any friends.

Well, boo-hoo, Dr. Crane,
I can buy new friends.

All right, deal the cards,
come on, let's deal the cards.

Wait a minute.

I was looking for the queen
of spades here and...

there is no queen of spades
in this deck.

I'm gonna count
these cards.
Go ahead.

Hey, guys, is
it me or is...

(laughing):
...or is this beer great?

Boy, well, you know, I--

maybe I should just
hold off here, I...

I, for one, am getting
a little buzz on,

I'm here to tell you.

Hey, uh, guys,

listen.

I-I love you guys.

I told you hours ago--
don't touch me.

As I suspected, there are
only 51 cards in this deck.

Oh, for cryin'...

All right, let's look
for the other one.

Yeah, you bet we're
gonna look for it

and we're gonna
find it, too,

or my name is not
Clifford C. Clavin.

Come on, take it easy.

You've had a little too much,
haven't you?

Well, you relax,
buddy boy.

One of us
is cheating

and one of us is not
getting out of here alive.

Here it is, it's
under Sammy's chair.

Oh, Sammy, Sammy, look...

if you needed the money,
why didn't you just ask me?

No one's accusing anyone
of cheating.

We just have
to replay the last hand.

Go ahead
and deal them out there, Phil.

You want
to hurry it up there, Phil?

I got to get up early and pack
for my weekend in Nantucket.

Hmm, a little
pleasure trip, huh?

No, Lilith's coming.

Five-card showdown,
fellas.

All right.

FRASIER:
Uh, check.

Uh, check.

Ah!

Oh, man, I'm out.
I'm out.

NORM:
Oh, Woody,
for crying out loud.

I'll call.

Three aces.

(laughing)

Read 'em and weep there,
buddy boy.

Cliff, y-you got five
unmatched cards there.

CLIFF:
That's right.

And, uh, you guys probably
thought I was bluffing, huh?

Come to Papa.

(yawning):
Oh, boy.

I am so glad
this night is almost over.

I am just wiped out.

You know, Rebecca, you've
been through a lot tonight.

I was thinking maybe I
took advantage of you

when I asked
you out.

Ever since my wife left me,
I've been sort of desperate

for female companionship,
you know.

I always say
the wrong thing.

So what it boils
down to is this--

if, if, if you'd rather not go
out with me, I'd understand.

That's sweet, Paul.

I'd be delighted
to go out with you tonight.

Bring your toothbrush.

(groans)

Everything okay?

Would you quit coming in here
every five seconds

and asking me
if everything's okay?

What is it going to take

before you believe
that everything is just fine?

(door opens)

State Liquor Board.

Nobody move,
this is a raid.

What the hell's
going on here?

I'll handle this,
I'm the manager.

We understand you're serving
liquor here without a license.

Who owns this bar?

He does.

What the hell's
going on here?

Mercy me.

What is going on here?

A raid?

Say it isn't so.

Will someone
please tell me

what the hell is
going on around here?

I'll tell you, Sam.

A little vent told me

your manager let
your liquor license expire.

Yes, but w-we did not serve
one drop of liquor here

all night long,

a-a-and you guys can check
any glass here.

It's clean.

REBECCA:
You see?

I saved the day.

You saved the day?!

You wouldn't have had
to save the day

if you hadn't have screwed it up
in the first place.

Come on, what were
you thinking?

How could you do that?

How could you forget
something like that?

You know
that could have cost me my bar?

I mean, what have you got--
rocks in your head?

You know, I mean, I
did mail the thing in.

It's just that
it came back.

I think there was just
something wrong with the stamp.

There's nothing wrong
with the stamp, you moron.

It's for 25 cents.

I put it on myself.

AGENT:
Postage is

29 cents.

Oh.

Well, I'm out of here.

Why don't you go ahead
and, uh, close up?

After all, you
are the manager.

REBECCA:
No, hold it
a second.

You're the one that screwed up.

I-I'm the one
that saved this bar.

So, I mean,
who is the moron now?

You're the one who put
the stamp on this letter

while I've been scrambling
around this bar tonight

trying to save it
without breaking one law.

That's right, I did that--
me, Rebecca, the moron.

REBECCA:
Well, things are going
to change around here.

From now on, I want a little
respect around this place.

You got that?

All right.

Because, from this day forward,
I will hold my head up high,

because I am Rebecca Howe.

I am the manager of Cheers.

That's, that's why we
always keep the flap up.