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1
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¶ I'm in love with you ¶
2
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:13,345
¶ Want you to love me too ¶
3
00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:16,415
[480p & 720p Movies Download |Mkvking.com]
4
00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:29,228
¶ True love Can be hard to find ¶
5
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,765
¶ True love Can be hard to find ¶
6
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,069
¶ True love Can be hard to find ¶
7
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,639
¶ True love Can be hard to find ¶
8
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:44,710
-¶ I'm in love with you... ¶
-Hi!
9
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:45,644
Hi.
10
00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:02,194
-What's your name?
-I thought I--
11
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,262
-What?
-No, you go.
12
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:04,396
Sorry what was it you said?
13
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,265
Who are you out with?
14
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,500
My housemate. He's over there.
15
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,374
What's your name?
16
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,209
-Ryan.
-No way.
17
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,611
I had a rabbit called Ryan.
18
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,681
Cool. How is he?
19
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:23,782
Oh, dead.
20
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:26,452
-Good.
-What?
21
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,353
-There can only be one of us.
-[chuckles]
22
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,859
-What's your name?
-Laura.
23
00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:38,130
I always said
if I had a daughter...
24
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,731
You'd call her Laura?
25
00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:42,568
Well no,
26
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,737
I'd probably call her
"Yet another, in a long line
27
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:48,173
of women
that I cannot have sex with."
28
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:52,678
Sorry that--
that was a joke.
29
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,881
I don't have a daughter, so,
30
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,850
even if I did,
I'm not an incestuous pedophile.
31
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:05,824
Oh, my God, can't believe
this, she's left.
32
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,194
She always does this.
33
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,533
Do you want a drink?
34
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:21,573
Uh, I-- I, should,
I should probably go after her.
35
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,611
Then again, she'll have gone
to his house and...
36
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,513
-So was that...
-Yes.
37
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:31,316
Yeah. I'll have
a shot of Tia Maria.
38
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:35,521
Great. Hi, can we please
have a shot of Tia Maria
39
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,322
and a beer please.
40
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,491
Why don't you
try Tia Maria with me?
41
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:45,164
Sure, and can I have two
shots of Tia Maria, please.
42
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,733
-I'm converting him.
-[chuckles]
43
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:50,869
The church of Tia Maria,
all hail.
44
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,273
-It's not that good.
-Oh.
45
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:55,507
[joyful music]
46
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:02,915
[man] Women often rate a goodsense of humor as more important
47
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:05,584
to them in a partner than physical attractiveness.
48
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:08,754
A sense of humor implies a man's ability to cope with
49
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:12,224
potentially stressful or even dangerous situations.
50
00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:16,195
[woman] Makeup is used primarily to artificially enlarge our features.
51
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:19,298
Big eyes and slips are indicators of youth.
52
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:23,669
The younger the woman the more fertile she's likely to be
53
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:26,371
and the more capable her body is of nurturing
54
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,273
and providing for her offspring.
55
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,909
[man] The DNA contained within saliva and exchanged
56
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:32,978
through a kiss gives us invaluable
57
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,480
information regarding our genetic compatibility.
58
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:38,483
[woman] Natural blonde hair is the result of high estrogen levels.
59
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:42,321
Dying hair blonde imitates increased levels of fertility
60
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,489
and offers scientific reasoning
61
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,425
to the claim that men prefer blondes.
62
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,994
[man] A woman's lips offer a subconscious representation
63
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:52,297
of female genitalia. When a woman is aroused
64
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:56,635
her genitals become deep red, wearing red glossy lipstick
65
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,671
is an unconscious attempt to mimic this process.
66
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,274
The human race depends upon sex.
67
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:05,777
We need to do everything we can to ensure we attract a mate,
68
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:09,014
not just any mate, but the best we can get...
69
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,483
-[crosstalk]
-...to do this we need to enhance ourselves
70
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,252
and there are many ways we can do this.
71
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:16,255
[woman] Spray a finishing spritz across your face
72
00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:19,725
to set the look, and you're done!
73
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,393
What?
74
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,262
That's it for this week, guys.
75
00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:26,031
Remember to hit "like" if youlike the video and subscribe...
76
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,634
-Fuck's sake.
- ...to become part of the glam fans.
77
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,537
¶ You say I will show you mine ¶
78
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:35,274
¶ If you will show me yours ¶
79
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,709
¶ And one by one we're throwing ¶
80
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,612
¶ All our clothing On the floor ¶
81
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,781
¶ You say don't blow out the candles ¶
82
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,716
¶ Cause I want you to... ¶
83
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,885
Absolutely gorgeous.
84
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,322
Well, you said
he was a smart dresser.
85
00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:52,691
Yeah, not a Victorian.
86
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:55,494
Second dates are what makes
or breaks a relationship.
87
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,063
-Says who?
-Says the fella on the YouTubes.
88
00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:01,533
Oh, don't go giving yourself
away tonight though. All right?
89
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,736
Men like the chase, the less
you give the more they want.
90
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,773
I don't want you making
the same mistake
I did with your father.
91
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:10,442
-[man]I can bloody
hear you, Val.
-Oh, fuck off.
92
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,778
You looked
lovely in that jacket.
93
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:14,946
Just get out.
94
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,018
Why are you
wearing my shirt?
95
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,620
Because I needed
a shirt, Ryan.
96
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,989
No, I need the shirt.
Laura's coming around.
97
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,490
Then you don't need
a shirt, do you?
98
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,759
[singing]
because you're gonna be naked.
99
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:31,496
-We're going for an Indian.
-In the Indian naked.
100
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,366
-Just give me the shirt.
-Right will you back a-way--
101
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:36,435
Will you stop wearing
that towel like a girl, please?
102
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,605
-I thought she was coming here.
-She is, and we're
going for an Indian.
103
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:44,476
She's not travelling
all the way across town for
an "onion bhaji", is she?
104
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,978
She's come here for one thing
and one thing only.
105
00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:49,981
[choking]
106
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,085
Yeah, I don't think
that's why she's coming.
107
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:55,420
-Cock.
-I understood,
108
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,889
it's more
than sex it's more than...
109
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:01,059
-Why don't you have sex, Ryan?
-I do have sex, I've done sex.
110
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:04,529
-Yeah with Tufts, brilliant.
-Yeah, and Jess.
Remember Jess from college?
111
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:14,940
-Is that it? Just two girls?
That's all you've had sex with.
-But I was in a relationship,
112
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:17,075
-a long-term relationship.
-No wonder you're
still in love with her.
113
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,577
-Who?
-Tufts.
114
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,078
I don't still love her.
115
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,747
When was the last
time you texted her?
116
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:25,751
-Uh, I don't-- Friday?
-Oh, man.
117
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:28,487
I've not texted in a week,
it's been a week, it's finished.
118
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:31,523
Yeah, two years ago when she was
jumping on somebody else's dick.
119
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:35,427
-Move on man.
-I have. I am. With Laura.
120
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:39,398
[groaning]
121
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,470
Weeded the garden yet?
122
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:48,673
-No, I'm not going
to sleep with him tonight.
-Do it!
123
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,777
He might
not even want to sleep with me,
he might not even like me.
124
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:54,079
No, he was pissed
the last time he saw me.
125
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,782
That being
the only time he saw me.
126
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,984
-He might...
-Do the bracelet test.
127
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:02,554
-What's that?
-If you ever want to know
how someone feels about you,
128
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,722
you do the bracelet test.
129
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,191
If you genuinely like
this girl, Ryan,
130
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:07,692
and I mean, genuinely.
131
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:11,630
Do her. Girls like
the game of cat and mouse.
132
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:14,499
It's a test.
They like to be pursued.
133
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,736
Bring her here, rave
in her cave, pass the test,
134
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,704
then you can have all the
bloody pilau rice you want,
135
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,440
I'm going to Inferno's, ciao.
136
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:26,044
Take off your bracelet
and discretely
137
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:29,681
push it into his personal space
and see what he does with it.
138
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,617
If he pushes it away, heprobably wants to push you away.
139
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,620
He's not interested. If he
picks it up and plays with it,
140
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,955
he wants to get closer
to you.
141
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:40,091
If he ignores it, you get the gist.
142
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:44,930
But if he puts it on,
he wants to be inside you.
143
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:53,772
Hello?
144
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,841
Wait, wait.
145
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,577
Are you going out with Adam?
146
00:07:58,579 --> 00:07:59,778
Who's Adam?
147
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,112
Our housemate.
148
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,148
You mean Abel.
Is his name Adam?
149
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,817
I've been calling him Abel
for ages. Anyway, no.
150
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,552
I forgot we even had a flat mate
to be honest.
151
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:10,722
You can use my sexy silky bed
sheets for one night.
152
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,525
I'm not going to use
your sexy bed sheets--
153
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,927
-sexy silky bed sheets.
-But you can do.
154
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,262
-Okay.
-Okay?
155
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,734
Oh, you look awful.
156
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:26,104
Mum! I can't breathe
in these sodding jeans.
157
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,507
So, fuck it. I'm not going!
158
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,709
Calm down!
Of course you're going.
159
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,677
Now put this on,
now keep it buttoned up.
160
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,979
-Have you brushed your teeth?
-Yes.
161
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,847
-Have you got perfume on?
-I don't want perfume.
162
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,683
I want him to smell
my pheromones. Mum!
163
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,620
-What? It's ocean breeze.
-It's room spray!
164
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,655
It's better than that
pheromones thing you put on.
165
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:46,791
Now, you listen to me. You make
sure now you're safe tonight.
166
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,760
He could be a pedophile
for all we know.
167
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:52,063
-I'm twenty-eight.
-And you're still my baby.
168
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,032
[soft music]
169
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,975
[GPS]
Head northeast along Claringdale Road for two hundred meters
170
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,778
and take a left onto Chapel Lane.
171
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:11,149
¶ She's got you high And you don't even know yet ¶
172
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:14,986
¶ She's got you high and you don't even know yet ¶
173
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,721
¶ The sun's in the sky,
174
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,657
¶ It's warming Up your bare legs ¶
175
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:21,860
¶ And you can't denyYou're looking for the sunset ¶
176
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:25,597
¶ She's got you high And you don't even know yet ¶
177
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:29,234
¶ She's got you high And you don't even know yet ¶
178
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:32,938
¶ It's the search for the time Before it leaves without you ¶
179
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:37,042
¶ Have you lost your mind, has She taken all of yours too? ¶
180
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:41,313
¶ She's got you high ¶
181
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:48,620
¶ She's got you high... ¶
182
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:53,191
[GPS]
For 200 yards take your second left onto Sunningdale Drive.
183
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:57,862
¶ She's got you high ¶
184
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:02,334
¶ Romance alive and hope She's going to tell you ¶
185
00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:08,340
¶ She's got you high ¶
186
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:12,777
-[Laura] So, did I ask you
what your name was?
-Ryan!
187
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,080
No way!
I had a rabbit called Ryan.
188
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,148
Yeah.
189
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,117
-He's dead now.
-Ah!
190
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,653
He went behind the shed
and the cat from next door
191
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,355
went behind there.
I thought they were playing.
192
00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:25,223
So, I just left them,
but turns out cats and rabbits
193
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,859
-don't get on in real life.
-As opposed to?
194
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,794
-My mind.
-What?
195
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:33,732
When I found him, he was
paralyzed with fear, and dead.
196
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:36,768
So I buried him
under a tree in the garden.
197
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,803
And may be rest in peace.
198
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,373
Well no, because I didn't
dig a deep enough hole
199
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:42,941
and the foxes got to him.
200
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:47,145
Well, then he died
as he lived. Badly.
201
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:52,117
-Oh.
-Hey, if it makes
you feel any better,
202
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:54,719
I had a fish once that died.
203
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:58,156
-What was your fish called?
-Called Wanda.
204
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,992
That's a shit name for a fish,
mine was called Bubbles...
205
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,261
-and Chick-a-teter.
-[gasps]
206
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:23,214
[tension music]
207
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,820
[GPS] Your destination is on the right.
208
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:43,368
Just get the-- hi, sorry
I'm late I was at Pilates.
209
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,338
Yes. Yeah that's good,
telling him about Pilates.
210
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,874
[doorbell rings]
211
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,414
Oh, God.
212
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:02,954
-Hi!
-Hi.
213
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,791
-Sorry I'm late I...
-Oh, don't be,
214
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:07,959
-you're not late.
-...I came from Pilates.
215
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:09,861
Sorry where?
216
00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:11,963
No.
217
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,768
-I...
-Shit, come in, sorry.
218
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:22,040
-Oh.
-Ooh. It's lovely.
219
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:25,243
-I'll give you
a tour if you like.
-Okay.
220
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:27,078
Er...
221
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,381
Oh! [both chuckle]
222
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,885
-It's Dan you live with,
isn't it?
-Yeah.
223
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:36,121
-Yeah.
-Yeah, but he's out clubbing.
224
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,455
[loudly] Clubbing!
225
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,493
Okay. Um...
226
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:46,831
This is a hallway.
Through there is the kitchen.
227
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,340
This is indeed a kitchen.
[chuckles]
228
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:58,409
Through there
is the living room.
229
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,345
Ooh.
230
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:04,916
-These are stairs
or broken escalators.
-Very lovely stair--
231
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,484
Oh, or broken escalators.
232
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,319
[cracking wood]
233
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,528
Bathroom there,
Dan's room there.
234
00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:20,131
That's a cupboard
and this is the boudoir.
235
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,400
Ooh, nice.
236
00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:26,538
-Very tidy.
-Ah, well not really,
237
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,307
there's a few plates there
from last night,
238
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,176
a cup over there.
239
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,411
Right.
240
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,917
What's this? Secret room?
241
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:40,819
It's a toilet, yeah.
242
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:41,920
What an en suite?
243
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:46,090
-I've always wanted
one of these.
-Oh.
244
00:13:55,335 --> 00:14:00,104
Wow. So, you've got
the biggest room then?
245
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,207
Yeah, the master bedroom.
246
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:04,442
Because I am the master.
247
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,144
[both laugh]
248
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,950
-Do you want a drink or...?
-Yes, please.
249
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,453
We have Cobra, um...
250
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,122
Port...
251
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,926
Ribena... milk.
252
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,931
Um. I've never had port.
253
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,000
Great, well port it is.
254
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,002
-I'll just get you some.
-Okay.
255
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:44,916
Um... do you want a hand
with those drinks?
256
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,661
Do you want a hand or anything?
257
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:02,600
No. No. I'm fine.
258
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:08,273
Right, well I just-- I'll wait
in the living room then.
259
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,109
-Okay.
-Okay.
260
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:24,022
-[upbeat music]
-[phone ringing]
261
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,928
-Didn't take long did it?
-Where's the Port?
262
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,964
-The what?
-Didn't we have a bottle
of Port, where is it?
263
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:37,235
-Is she there yet or what?
-Obviously, I'm not drinking
fucking Port by myself, am I?
264
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:40,271
Fuck the port, if you want
to get her there's five steps.
265
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,641
I'm going to tell you,
but you can't tell nobody else
I'm going to write a book.
266
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:48,379
-Where is the Port?
-Compliment her,
mirror her, ask her questions,
267
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:51,482
teasingly put her down and steer
the conversation towards sex.
268
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,151
I know,
but this isn't a book.
269
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:57,221
Then you fuck her.
Six steps, new book. Boosh!
270
00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,991
I've found the Port.
I've found the Port.
271
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,026
Right calm down!
Calm down.
272
00:16:02,696 --> 00:16:05,196
Where were the glasses,
do we have any glasses?
273
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,465
Yeah, well there's one in my room.
274
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:11,436
But I piss in that when I can't
go to the toilet. Up to you.
275
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,604
Right, I've got to go
I'll call you later.
276
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,373
All right mate, bye-bye.
277
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,476
You're a proper dickhead,
you know that?
278
00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:25,183
Ta da!
279
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:31,622
-Wow.
-I'm sorry about the cup,
all our glasses are in shops.
280
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,994
So how have you been?
281
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:39,998
Good, yeah.
Ooh, is that Irn-Bru?
282
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,433
Port and Irn-Bru, yeah.
283
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,303
All the celebs are drinking it.
284
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,071
It's Meryl Streep's favorite.
285
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:49,440
And you only drink what,
Streep drinks?
286
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:53,511
Yeah, just Cobra
and Port and Irn-Bru.
287
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:56,781
Oh, that's classy.
288
00:16:56,783 --> 00:17:01,619
God, I'm so sorry, I didn't know
there was someone else in here.
289
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,255
-Are you Dan?
-No that's--
290
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:10,294
-not, not Dan, Dan's out.
-Oh.
291
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,030
Yeah.
292
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,532
-You all right, mate?
-Yeah,
293
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,568
just got a little bit
of the old, dead skin
294
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:20,238
forming on the sole
of my foot there. So,
295
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,341
going to hit that up later on
once it's softened up,
296
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:27,111
but it does take time.
A little bit egotistical,
297
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:30,148
but so important
to look good, isn't it?
298
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:37,221
-Do you want
to see the garden?
-Sure.
299
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,724
-See you.
-Oh, lovely, yeah, all right.
300
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,359
[door closes]
301
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,262
[Laura] Garden's gorgeous.
302
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:48,266
It's a movement sensor,
you've got to keep moving.
303
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,367
Right.
304
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,104
Who was that?
305
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,374
-I don't know.
-What?
306
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:59,610
As in he does live here,
but I don't know his name
307
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,512
that's why
I couldn't introduce you.
308
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:04,148
[laughs] Just ask him.
309
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:07,285
I can't.
He's been here like a month.
310
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,654
I've been calling
him Adam, or Alex.
311
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:13,157
Dan calls him Abel.
But he responds to all of them.
312
00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:16,828
[laughs] I honestly
didn't know he was there.
313
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:20,364
I know.
It's like that all the time.
He's got no presence at all.
314
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:21,632
Oh!
315
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,437
-[Laura] Are you waving or what?
-It should come on in a sec.
316
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,874
-There we are. Oh! Shit!
-Ah!
317
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:33,578
How did you get out here
without setting the light off?
318
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:38,149
Didn't know that we had a light.
Oh, motion sensor, is it?
319
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,751
-Yeah, it should be.
-Right, that's it then.
320
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:44,755
No. No, those things never
pick me up for some reason.
321
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:50,595
Automatic doors, automatic
dryers, automatic toilets,
322
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,431
can never go back to Japan.
323
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,237
So, we going out then or what?
324
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:03,241
Well, I was thinking we could
stay in here for a bit.
325
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,209
[scrubbing]
326
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:10,648
But I thought we said we were
going for a meal or something.
327
00:19:12,886 --> 00:19:14,485
Well, yeah,
328
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,890
but then I thought we could
watch a film or something.
329
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,195
You don't want to go
for a drink at a bar?
330
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,266
Well, I have drinks here.
331
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:34,172
In fact, I was going to grab
another beer. Just one sec.
332
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,508
[man] Sorry, old friends,
left it too long.
333
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,553
I left these out earlier.
334
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,889
I'll put them away
in case you trip.
335
00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:58,829
-You lift weights, do you?
-Every day.
336
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,768
How many do
you normally do?
337
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:06,604
About one hundred a day.
338
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,241
Oh. Wow.
339
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,609
I'll show you,
340
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,377
-if you don't believe me.
-No.
341
00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:19,417
One. Two.
342
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:22,820
Three. Four. [panting]
343
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:28,593
All day. Four. Four.
344
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,263
-Five.
-Oh.
345
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,265
Just like that really.
346
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:37,468
I could do more, but you know.
347
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:54,552
What we going to watch then?
348
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:58,422
Oh, yeah, whatever you want.
349
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:01,025
I've got-- I've got
all the Pixar films.
350
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,727
All right.
351
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:09,400
Okay. Scarface?
X-Men, Godfather trilogy.
352
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,970
-Ooh. Oh.
-Oh, or there's my laptop there.
353
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,573
We could watch whatever you
want. I've got Netflix.
354
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:17,775
Oh.
355
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,886
Oh, there's so
much Pikachu that's cute.
356
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,655
-[man] Fuck yeah.
-[Pikachu] Pika.
357
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,423
-Shit!
-Shit.
358
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:33,824
No, no, no, no.
359
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,427
-That's...
- Pika, Pika.
360
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:39,297
Dan. He took that, the laptop.
361
00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:43,301
-Oh no, no, no, no, Dan.
- You, filthy custard slag.
362
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:47,838
I think he's just,
he's looking on YouTube or like,
363
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,541
it would have come up on
the side or something and he
364
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:54,412
wondered why people were into
it. I don't think he's into it,
365
00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:56,647
probably thought
it was a bit weird, so.
366
00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:07,758
Pikachu's a slag
then, eh? Who knew?
367
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:11,595
Yeah. Well, I don't.
368
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,732
I've not seen that.
369
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,007
-Can I use your
bathroom a minute?
-Yeah, sure.
370
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:25,409
-You know where it is.
-Yep.
371
00:22:29,415 --> 00:22:30,481
Oh.
372
00:22:41,928 --> 00:22:45,129
[upbeat music]
373
00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:47,832
[indistinct chatter]
374
00:22:53,606 --> 00:22:55,373
¶ That thing I like ¶
375
00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:58,509
¶ That thing, that thing You do ¶
376
00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:01,979
¶ That thing I like Yeah, you got me going crazy ¶
377
00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:05,583
¶ That thing, that thing You do ¶
378
00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:08,686
¶ Yeah you got me going crazy ¶
379
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:12,423
¶ Don't stop make it last Don't stop make it last ¶
380
00:23:24,971 --> 00:23:27,805
So, I found
A Fish Called Wanda .
381
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:34,478
No? Or Cruel Intentions
which may be more to your taste?
382
00:23:35,014 --> 00:23:38,783
Than Pixar Pokémon porn?
Doubt it. [laughs]
383
00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:42,153
I'm only joking,
Cruel Intentions .
384
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,054
A fine choice.
385
00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:55,833
Right, sorted.
386
00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:02,606
Do you want a top up
before it starts or?
387
00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:05,109
Er... No, I've still
got plenty thanks.
388
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:07,011
[ Cruel Intentions begins]
389
00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:13,484
Sit up here if you like?
Probably see it better.
390
00:24:14,754 --> 00:24:15,820
Yeah.
391
00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:20,758
Get on properly.
392
00:24:21,928 --> 00:24:22,993
Oh, right.
393
00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:28,999
-This is nice.
-Yeah.
394
00:24:39,612 --> 00:24:44,048
[woman] Sebastian. Can you at least pretend to focus?
395
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:48,886
[Sebastian] What good would it do? I'm unfixable.
396
00:24:48,888 --> 00:24:53,190
- Nobody's unfixable.
- Yes, I am, a text-book...
397
00:24:53,192 --> 00:24:55,860
Did you know that this
was actually the film
398
00:24:55,862 --> 00:24:58,929
that Ryan Phillippe
and Reese Witherspoon
met before they got married?
399
00:24:58,931 --> 00:25:01,765
-No way.
-Yeah. Yeah.
400
00:25:01,767 --> 00:25:03,033
Wow.
401
00:25:05,238 --> 00:25:09,573
-Isn't she that actress
that got stabbed? Reese..
-Witherspoon.
402
00:25:09,575 --> 00:25:11,041
No with a knife.
403
00:25:11,043 --> 00:25:12,977
[laughs]
404
00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:16,046
Sorry.
405
00:25:20,086 --> 00:25:21,952
[soft music]
406
00:25:24,056 --> 00:25:27,091
[woman] ...the right conditions anything is possible.
407
00:25:28,261 --> 00:25:30,761
[Sebastian] It took you 12 chapters to say that.
408
00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,666
- You're right.
- I know I am.
409
00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:42,039
[Sebastian] I've come to a point in my life when all I can think about is sex.
410
00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:44,542
Take coming here for example,
411
00:25:45,144 --> 00:25:48,812
you're a beautiful woman, perfect curves,
412
00:25:48,814 --> 00:25:51,916
stunning breasts, knock out legs.
413
00:25:57,723 --> 00:26:00,124
[woman] But you have to look beyond that.
414
00:26:00,126 --> 00:26:02,860
[Sebastian]
I know but it's hard.
415
00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:08,332
[woman]
Well, it's fortunate we've cometo the end of our session then.
416
00:26:10,269 --> 00:26:12,336
-[Sebastian]
It's really been an hour?
- Hour fifteen.
417
00:26:12,338 --> 00:26:17,875
[Sebastian] It seems you like to keep me here as much as I wanted to stay.
418
00:26:18,578 --> 00:26:20,244
[woman] Read the book.
419
00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:22,313
I think you're going to get over this...
420
00:26:22,315 --> 00:26:24,148
-Is that for me?
-No.
421
00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:30,321
-Oh. Do you want it back?
-No, you can borrow it
if you want.
422
00:26:30,323 --> 00:26:32,222
To do with what you want.
423
00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:35,659
Am I supposed to do
something with it?
424
00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:39,196
No.
425
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,267
[soft music continues]
426
00:26:48,641 --> 00:26:51,842
-[Sebastian]
You have a daughter?
-[woman] That's her,
427
00:26:51,844 --> 00:26:54,345
a straight A student, best girl on the cheer squad.
428
00:26:54,347 --> 00:26:56,981
[Sebastian] That's the sort of girl that could cure me.
429
00:26:56,983 --> 00:27:00,217
[woman] She's a little out of your league, Sebastian.
430
00:27:00,219 --> 00:27:03,220
I'm sure the right girl will come along.
431
00:27:03,222 --> 00:27:05,389
[Sebastian]
What if she already has?
432
00:27:05,391 --> 00:27:08,892
[woman] Then I wish you the best of luck.
433
00:27:08,894 --> 00:27:10,628
Let me know how it goes.
434
00:27:21,941 --> 00:27:25,376
What is it? Put her through.
435
00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:29,380
-[young woman] Mom!
-[woman] You know not to call when I'm working.
436
00:27:29,382 --> 00:27:32,182
[young woman crying]
437
00:27:32,918 --> 00:27:35,219
He told me I was beautiful
[crying]
438
00:27:36,255 --> 00:27:38,188
I'm such an idiot.
439
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:40,257
[woman] You're not, you're just not smart
440
00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:42,760
when it comes to having sex. What have you done now?
441
00:27:43,863 --> 00:27:47,031
[young woman] He's put videos of me all over the internet.
442
00:27:47,033 --> 00:27:49,933
- What videos?
- What do you mean what videos?
443
00:27:50,403 --> 00:27:51,935
Sex tapes.
444
00:27:51,937 --> 00:27:55,739
[woman] You idiot, how could you let this happen?
445
00:27:55,741 --> 00:27:59,677
[young woman] I don't know. He said I had perfect curves
446
00:27:59,679 --> 00:28:03,147
and stunning breasts, he asked if he could film them
447
00:28:03,149 --> 00:28:07,051
and I said yes but I went too far, please help me, Mom.
448
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,688
[scream]
449
00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:12,022
Do you know what? I've--
450
00:28:12,024 --> 00:28:14,324
I've already seen this film.
451
00:28:14,326 --> 00:28:17,227
Oh. Well, do you want
to choose something else?
452
00:28:17,930 --> 00:28:23,200
No. Actually I'm-- I'm just
not in a filmy sort of mood.
453
00:28:23,903 --> 00:28:24,968
I see.
454
00:28:26,238 --> 00:28:27,971
What mood are you in?
455
00:28:30,176 --> 00:28:32,142
I'm not--
I thought we were going out
456
00:28:33,746 --> 00:28:35,446
-for dinner, so.
-Right, no.
457
00:28:35,448 --> 00:28:37,815
I-- I...
458
00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:42,386
actually I have agoraphobia.
459
00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:43,454
What?
460
00:28:44,790 --> 00:28:46,256
I'll get us a drink.
461
00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:50,127
Sorry.
462
00:28:54,133 --> 00:28:55,799
[woman] Sebastian.
463
00:28:58,204 --> 00:28:59,837
Oh, my God.
464
00:28:59,839 --> 00:29:01,305
-I need your cup.
-Oh.
465
00:29:03,743 --> 00:29:05,275
-Come on.
-[phone line ringing]
466
00:29:05,277 --> 00:29:09,813
Come on, Beth,
pick up the phone. Come on!
467
00:29:09,815 --> 00:29:11,381
-[Beth] Hello!
-Beth.
468
00:29:11,383 --> 00:29:13,851
-This is Beth's phone. Leave a message. - No.
469
00:29:16,055 --> 00:29:18,489
Who else is there?
Yeah.
470
00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:20,824
[phone line rings]
471
00:29:21,293 --> 00:29:24,428
[phone ringing]
472
00:29:33,139 --> 00:29:35,873
-Los!
-B, I need an emergency
phone call now.
473
00:29:35,875 --> 00:29:38,976
Okay. It's an emergency, it's massive,
474
00:29:38,978 --> 00:29:41,979
there's people on fire
and they're dead.
475
00:29:41,981 --> 00:29:44,481
No, that's not how
you do an emergency call.
476
00:29:44,483 --> 00:29:46,283
I found a body just one body.
477
00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:48,185
-No!
-What's happening?
478
00:29:48,187 --> 00:29:50,921
-He wants to have sex with me.
- And?
479
00:29:50,923 --> 00:29:52,856
He wanks off to Pikachu.
480
00:29:52,858 --> 00:29:54,458
Pikachu's quite pretty.
481
00:29:54,460 --> 00:29:57,895
It's a drawing
of a cat, thing.
482
00:29:58,531 --> 00:30:00,497
He says he's agoraphobic,
that's a lie,
483
00:30:00,499 --> 00:30:02,833
or is it? I don't know.
484
00:30:02,835 --> 00:30:05,969
-Stop being so scared.
- I am scared.
485
00:30:05,971 --> 00:30:08,205
I can't have sex with him.
It's too soon.
486
00:30:08,207 --> 00:30:10,240
If I do it, I haven't shown
enough resistance.
487
00:30:10,242 --> 00:30:12,142
And I've not shaved.
488
00:30:12,511 --> 00:30:16,213
[phone line rings]
489
00:30:16,215 --> 00:30:17,447
[upbeat music]
490
00:30:17,449 --> 00:30:19,416
[phone ringing]
491
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,220
-Yo yo yo!
492
00:30:23,222 --> 00:30:25,956
-[Ryan] I'm losing her.
-What are you doing?
493
00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:29,159
Right now, I am talking
to you while there is a girl
494
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:31,962
who thinks I have intermittent
agoraphobia held hostage
495
00:30:31,964 --> 00:30:37,367
in my room. That's what
I am doing. I am off-piste.
496
00:30:37,369 --> 00:30:39,937
[Beth] Okay, now dip your tits into the cold water,
497
00:30:39,939 --> 00:30:42,005
helps plump them up makes them look bigger,
498
00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:44,374
but you need to continue doing
this throughout the evening
499
00:30:44,376 --> 00:30:46,243
because they will shrink
in the heat.
500
00:30:46,245 --> 00:30:48,579
This isn't 50 shades
of fucking Gray, Bink.
501
00:30:48,581 --> 00:30:51,448
No, it's more like
one shade of shit.
502
00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:54,218
You've been talking about this guy all week.
503
00:30:54,220 --> 00:30:58,255
Give him a chance. If he's fucking up, take control.
504
00:30:58,257 --> 00:31:01,425
If you're feeling nervous, think to yourself,
505
00:31:01,427 --> 00:31:05,028
"What would Shakira do?"
And then just do that.
506
00:31:07,166 --> 00:31:08,098
Put them in.
507
00:31:09,068 --> 00:31:10,167
Fuck it.
508
00:31:12,471 --> 00:31:15,172
Ah. Fuck it's freezing.
509
00:31:15,608 --> 00:31:18,275
-[Dan]
Have you complimented her?
-Yes.
510
00:31:18,277 --> 00:31:20,277
Probably, I don't know.
511
00:31:20,279 --> 00:31:22,512
- Have you spoken about sex yet? - No.
512
00:31:22,514 --> 00:31:24,248
I can lead a horse
to water, Ryan.
513
00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:26,884
Okay. So, we compliment her,
514
00:31:26,886 --> 00:31:29,186
-and the sex talk.
- Be dominant, man.
515
00:31:29,188 --> 00:31:30,621
Tell her to get in the bed,
516
00:31:30,623 --> 00:31:32,956
The bedroom rules,
they love rules.
517
00:31:32,958 --> 00:31:35,893
-That's dogs.
- This one works for both.
518
00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:38,328
Right before you fuck,
look her in the eye and say,
519
00:31:38,330 --> 00:31:42,666
"You might not enjoy
this, but by God,
you'll remember it." Okay?
520
00:31:49,275 --> 00:31:50,641
[soft music]
521
00:32:09,161 --> 00:32:09,827
Fuck.
522
00:32:09,828 --> 00:32:10,494
[Ryan]
Are you all right in there?
523
00:32:10,496 --> 00:32:12,129
Yeah, just give me a sec.
524
00:32:24,443 --> 00:32:26,576
You getting back
in the bed or what?
525
00:32:28,213 --> 00:32:30,380
These are the bedroom rules.
526
00:32:32,051 --> 00:32:33,684
Do not break them.
527
00:32:33,686 --> 00:32:36,119
[woman in the movie]
Do you want to have sex or not?
528
00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:39,089
[soft music]
529
00:32:50,970 --> 00:32:53,103
[woman] See, that wasn't so weird, was it?
530
00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:56,440
[woman 2] Wasn't weird at all. I liked it.
531
00:32:56,442 --> 00:32:59,009
[woman 1] Good.Now we're going to do it again,
532
00:32:59,011 --> 00:33:01,578
only this time you're goingto feel my tongue in your mouth
533
00:33:01,580 --> 00:33:06,249
and when you do, you're going to massage it with yours. Are you ready?
534
00:33:06,251 --> 00:33:09,486
It's all sex, sex,
sex these days isn't it?
535
00:33:12,157 --> 00:33:15,092
Sex, sex, sex. Sex.
536
00:33:15,094 --> 00:33:18,996
You know this film
was actually made in 1999.
537
00:33:25,137 --> 00:33:26,603
And in those days as well.
538
00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:31,742
Some things just never change.
539
00:33:51,263 --> 00:33:52,362
[woman 1] How was that?
540
00:33:53,132 --> 00:33:54,564
Let's do it again.
541
00:33:54,566 --> 00:33:56,767
How about you try it again with your friend.
542
00:33:57,603 --> 00:34:00,037
[woman 2]
My mother would kill me!
543
00:34:00,039 --> 00:34:02,572
[woman 1] Your mother doesn't need to know everything about your life.
544
00:34:02,574 --> 00:34:04,508
I'll take care of your mom...
545
00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:13,216
-You smell really good.
-Thanks.
546
00:34:14,053 --> 00:34:15,352
What is it?
547
00:34:15,788 --> 00:34:17,054
Ocean Breeze.
548
00:34:18,590 --> 00:34:20,557
-Well, it's good.
-Thank you.
549
00:34:27,433 --> 00:34:30,200
[Ryan] This is happening, don't get over excited,
550
00:34:30,202 --> 00:34:34,204
stay calm. I am not calm!
551
00:34:35,707 --> 00:34:37,574
[Laura]
Shakira what would you do?
552
00:34:38,477 --> 00:34:42,312
[Ryan] Okay. Start withthe face and work your way down.
553
00:34:42,314 --> 00:34:43,780
[Laura] Get that leg over.
554
00:34:45,117 --> 00:34:49,219
And then you'd do your chest jutting thing
555
00:34:51,557 --> 00:34:53,323
and roll around in the mud.
556
00:34:55,394 --> 00:34:56,526
[Ryan] What is happening?
557
00:34:57,296 --> 00:34:58,695
I should have had a wank.
558
00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:02,165
She is so confident.
559
00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:05,102
[Laura]
Where am I going with this?
560
00:35:05,104 --> 00:35:07,170
[Ryan]
How many guys has she had?
561
00:35:07,172 --> 00:35:08,872
[Laura]
Oh, fuck what am I doing?
562
00:35:14,246 --> 00:35:16,446
Crawl back, crawl back.
563
00:35:18,383 --> 00:35:21,518
- Oh God, he's touching my boob. -Oh my, oh my God.
564
00:35:24,523 --> 00:35:25,372
[Laura] Take control.
565
00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:26,222
[Ryan] You're going to have to be good at this.
566
00:35:26,225 --> 00:35:27,624
All your best moves.
567
00:35:30,129 --> 00:35:32,762
[Laura] Right. We'll start with his shirt, kiss for a bit
568
00:35:32,764 --> 00:35:34,898
then I'll take off mine and that is the new plan.
569
00:35:40,672 --> 00:35:44,441
[Ryan] Be dominant, you can'tlet her take off her own shirt.
570
00:35:44,443 --> 00:35:45,642
-Ah!
-Ow.
571
00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:47,744
-[Ryan]Sorry. Sorry.
-It's okay.
572
00:35:47,746 --> 00:35:49,746
-Shit, sorry
-It's okay.
573
00:35:49,748 --> 00:35:51,548
-You all right?
-Yeah.
574
00:35:52,384 --> 00:35:54,751
-It's a--
-It's okay.
575
00:35:54,753 --> 00:35:58,655
-It's a wrap around thing.
-Right.
576
00:35:59,725 --> 00:36:01,224
[Laura] Fuck's sake.
577
00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:08,265
Ah, got it.
578
00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:11,601
Oh, it's fucking knotted.
579
00:36:13,772 --> 00:36:15,205
-Oh.
-You all right?
580
00:36:15,207 --> 00:36:18,341
Yeah, right. Got it.
581
00:36:21,780 --> 00:36:23,380
Ah. The jeans.
582
00:36:26,251 --> 00:36:27,551
-Do you need a hand or?
-No.
583
00:36:27,553 --> 00:36:29,953
[Laura]
I forgot how tight they were.
584
00:36:29,955 --> 00:36:34,424
Shit... Take them off.
585
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:38,495
This is most awkward situation that has ever happened.
586
00:36:38,497 --> 00:36:40,764
Fuck these jeans.
587
00:36:42,267 --> 00:36:43,433
Ah.
588
00:36:47,272 --> 00:36:49,739
-Ah.
-Ah. Here, lie down.
589
00:36:50,309 --> 00:36:52,242
[sighs] Okay.
590
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:58,782
Oh, God. This is the worst thing ever.
591
00:36:58,784 --> 00:37:01,451
Ah! Thank you.
592
00:37:02,955 --> 00:37:07,490
[panting]
593
00:37:07,492 --> 00:37:09,426
[soft music]
594
00:37:16,602 --> 00:37:18,301
I'll just...
595
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,907
[Ryan] Yes. Oh, yes.
596
00:37:27,446 --> 00:37:29,879
[panting] Okay, relax.
597
00:37:33,318 --> 00:37:35,585
I cannot wait to tell Dan about this.
598
00:37:36,388 --> 00:37:38,488
Who's the daddy now, Dan?
599
00:37:39,891 --> 00:37:43,026
Got to tell him about that porno as well in case she asks him.
600
00:37:43,028 --> 00:37:45,862
Right, just stop thinking, stop thinking.
601
00:37:45,864 --> 00:37:47,030
This is a result.
602
00:37:49,501 --> 00:37:51,268
[Laura] Should I stop yet?
603
00:37:52,337 --> 00:37:54,304
[Ryan] Oh, I hope it's clean down there.
604
00:37:55,340 --> 00:37:58,742
What if it's too clean? Could she taste soap?
605
00:37:58,744 --> 00:38:00,043
[Laura] I can't breathe.
606
00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:02,479
[Ryan]
Can she breathe down there?
607
00:38:03,515 --> 00:38:05,849
Give her some air, a little air hole.
608
00:38:09,488 --> 00:38:11,921
[Laura] I don't know how long I should do this for.
609
00:38:14,326 --> 00:38:15,659
Maybe a few more swirly ones.
610
00:38:17,396 --> 00:38:18,461
[panting]
611
00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:21,431
[Laura]
They always work like a charm.
612
00:38:30,842 --> 00:38:33,076
Hey. Thank you.
613
00:38:33,879 --> 00:38:35,645
[Laura]
Please, don't go down there.
614
00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:37,547
I think she wants me to go down there.
615
00:38:37,549 --> 00:38:39,449
- Don't go down there.
- She's not kissing me, so,
616
00:38:39,451 --> 00:38:42,652
- yep that's what she wants.
- Oh, no he's not going to-- no!
617
00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:45,388
- Oh, I hope I remember how to do this.
- Oh, no.
618
00:38:46,358 --> 00:38:50,994
[Ryan] I can't see shit. Oh, God. Where is it?
619
00:38:52,397 --> 00:38:53,963
Oh, it's here.
620
00:38:54,900 --> 00:38:57,701
[Laura] Okay. Just relax.
621
00:39:00,806 --> 00:39:01,971
[moans]
622
00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:07,377
[Ryan]
Who the fuck designed this?
623
00:39:08,447 --> 00:39:10,080
[Laura] What is he doing?
624
00:39:11,583 --> 00:39:13,516
Maybe stroke his hair.
625
00:39:13,885 --> 00:39:15,719
[soft music continues]
626
00:39:16,455 --> 00:39:20,457
[Ryan] A, B, C,
627
00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:25,695
D, E, F,
628
00:39:26,865 --> 00:39:30,367
G. G is a hard one.
629
00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:34,104
[Laura] Okay, get him back up. How do I end this?
630
00:39:34,106 --> 00:39:35,705
Wiggle him off?
631
00:39:37,743 --> 00:39:40,977
Oh, she's had enough probably because I fucked up the G.
632
00:39:44,716 --> 00:39:47,150
You look her dead in the eye and you say...
633
00:39:47,919 --> 00:39:49,085
Hiya.
634
00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:56,926
Right, here we go.
635
00:39:56,928 --> 00:40:00,697
Ryan. Got a condom?
636
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:03,433
Condom yep, yep.
637
00:40:04,102 --> 00:40:05,435
Right.
638
00:40:30,061 --> 00:40:32,028
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
639
00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:36,566
Can never get these things
the right way, round.
640
00:40:38,670 --> 00:40:39,803
Right.
641
00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:47,811
-Hey.
-Ow.
642
00:40:50,115 --> 00:40:51,581
[Laura clears her throat]
643
00:40:57,889 --> 00:41:01,458
-Ah.
-So sorry.
644
00:41:01,460 --> 00:41:05,094
-It's okay it's just,
just a bit higher.
-Yep.
645
00:41:05,730 --> 00:41:10,667
Don't go soft. Don't die on me. Fuck.
646
00:41:12,070 --> 00:41:15,872
- I could just thumb it in.
- Don't thumb it in.
647
00:41:17,075 --> 00:41:18,775
-Sorry.
-It's okay.
648
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:24,047
[Ryan panting]
649
00:41:26,151 --> 00:41:29,619
-Give me a second. Sorry.
-Do you want me to do anything?
650
00:41:29,621 --> 00:41:32,922
No, no. Sorry.
651
00:41:32,924 --> 00:41:34,591
Ah.
652
00:41:40,499 --> 00:41:41,898
Come on!
653
00:41:48,106 --> 00:41:50,039
Sorry.
654
00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:53,877
Sorry. [moaning]
655
00:41:53,879 --> 00:41:56,813
[phone ringing]
656
00:42:03,788 --> 00:42:04,888
Okay.
657
00:42:12,264 --> 00:42:14,030
[phone continues ringing]
658
00:42:19,771 --> 00:42:21,671
-Sorry about that.
-It's okay.
659
00:42:24,643 --> 00:42:28,845
-I'm usually better.
-As am I.
660
00:42:40,725 --> 00:42:43,192
-Just going to nip to the loo.
-Okay.
661
00:42:45,997 --> 00:42:48,197
[phone ringing]
662
00:42:57,008 --> 00:42:58,174
[door closes]
663
00:43:00,178 --> 00:43:02,178
Oh.
664
00:43:04,716 --> 00:43:06,349
[slow music]
665
00:43:11,990 --> 00:43:13,289
Oh.
666
00:43:14,326 --> 00:43:16,726
Well, there we are.
All done.
667
00:43:18,597 --> 00:43:20,630
It was-- it was nice
seeing you again.
668
00:43:21,166 --> 00:43:22,298
Yeah and you.
669
00:43:23,335 --> 00:43:26,135
And thanks for, for everything.
670
00:43:26,137 --> 00:43:29,372
No, no worries. No probs.
671
00:43:30,375 --> 00:43:32,241
-Bye.
-Hey.
672
00:43:33,378 --> 00:43:34,644
Oh.
673
00:43:42,654 --> 00:43:43,920
Bye.
674
00:43:48,059 --> 00:43:49,325
Just...
675
00:43:55,700 --> 00:43:56,766
Bye.
676
00:44:04,843 --> 00:44:09,078
[Ryan] I'm waiting out here.
Are you alright?
677
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,881
-Wait.
-Oh, they hurt so bad.
678
00:44:11,883 --> 00:44:14,317
-Why would you hurt yourself?
-I don't know.
679
00:44:14,319 --> 00:44:16,753
-Here, let me take these.
-Ah.
680
00:44:16,755 --> 00:44:19,088
-I'll give you a piggyback.
Get on.
-Yes.
681
00:44:19,090 --> 00:44:21,658
-Come on. Get on.
-Yes, yes, yes.
682
00:44:21,660 --> 00:44:25,061
Get on. Jump, jump.
Oh no, whoa, whoa.
683
00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:28,965
Oh, my God. Is this
how you see the world?
684
00:44:28,967 --> 00:44:31,934
-Yep.
-Everyone looks tiny.
685
00:44:34,172 --> 00:44:37,340
Wait, wait. Look how I see it.
686
00:44:38,877 --> 00:44:41,310
Wow! You're a borrower.
687
00:44:41,312 --> 00:44:44,781
-You're a borrower.
-I think one of us is a freak.
688
00:44:44,783 --> 00:44:49,052
-Yeah, I think it's you.
-Well, I think
we should ask this guy.
689
00:44:49,054 --> 00:44:53,056
Hey, excuse me, which one of us
would you say is a freak?
690
00:44:53,058 --> 00:44:54,323
Fuck off.
691
00:44:56,461 --> 00:45:00,296
-That was my dad.
-[laughs]
692
00:45:03,768 --> 00:45:05,401
-Hey.
-Have a chip.
693
00:45:06,337 --> 00:45:07,970
[slow music continues]
694
00:45:14,746 --> 00:45:15,812
Oh.
695
00:45:18,116 --> 00:45:21,050
-Laura. Laura.
-What?
696
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:22,885
It's that way.
697
00:45:44,142 --> 00:45:45,208
I'm sorry...
698
00:45:46,778 --> 00:45:49,278
about this, all of it.
699
00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:52,515
-About what?
-The whole thing.
700
00:45:55,019 --> 00:45:58,354
I just-- I haven't-- um--
701
00:46:00,358 --> 00:46:03,493
I suppose you're going to go,
so it doesn't really matter.
702
00:46:04,329 --> 00:46:05,928
I, um,
703
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,868
I haven't ever
really done this before.
704
00:46:13,204 --> 00:46:15,438
I don't mean
that I have done that,
705
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,007
though it didn't look
like it, but I have.
706
00:46:19,444 --> 00:46:20,510
Never well.
707
00:46:23,381 --> 00:46:26,449
I haven't been with anyone
in a while and
708
00:46:26,451 --> 00:46:30,153
I fucked it.
Again, not well.
709
00:46:30,822 --> 00:46:34,056
Sorry-- I'm-- I don't know
what I'm trying to say, um.
710
00:46:35,226 --> 00:46:36,993
I'm sorry
I didn't take you out.
711
00:46:39,230 --> 00:46:41,964
I should have. I panicked.
712
00:46:43,935 --> 00:46:46,035
I don't know--
I don't know how to do this.
713
00:46:46,037 --> 00:46:47,570
I don't either.
714
00:46:47,572 --> 00:46:49,338
Oh, no you do.
You definitely do,
715
00:46:50,041 --> 00:46:51,908
the confidence and the dancing.
716
00:46:51,910 --> 00:46:54,577
Oh, God, no,
that bit wasn't strong.
717
00:46:55,513 --> 00:46:56,579
I liked it.
718
00:46:59,918 --> 00:47:02,318
So, what you don't usually
take girls to your bedroom
719
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,921
-on a second date?
-[chuckles]
720
00:47:04,923 --> 00:47:07,023
I don't usually have
second dates to be honest.
721
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,527
I haven't met anyone
that I like in a while,
722
00:47:12,897 --> 00:47:14,197
or that likes me.
723
00:47:15,567 --> 00:47:19,235
Is that because of an ex
or you're just not that...
724
00:47:19,904 --> 00:47:21,137
into women?
725
00:47:23,274 --> 00:47:27,543
You don't have to tell me,
I'm not like one of those
girls that's like "Who is she?
726
00:47:27,545 --> 00:47:30,246
Do you still see her?
Does she still love you?
Do you still love her?
727
00:47:30,248 --> 00:47:32,548
do you? Do you?" [chuckles]
728
00:47:32,550 --> 00:47:34,116
Do you?
729
00:47:39,157 --> 00:47:43,292
-[Ryan] Oh.
-Shit! Ryan!
Why aren't you at your mums?
730
00:47:43,294 --> 00:47:46,062
Why are you having sex
with James?
731
00:47:46,064 --> 00:47:48,497
I wanted to talk
to you about this.
732
00:47:48,499 --> 00:47:52,101
-About what?
-Me and James.
733
00:47:54,138 --> 00:47:58,040
-We're seeing each other, yeah.
-Pull out a minute.
734
00:47:58,042 --> 00:48:05,181
[panting]
Oh, Ryan. I'm so sorry.
I just knew you'd be so upset.
735
00:48:05,183 --> 00:48:08,050
I was going to talk to you about
it over a weekend or something,
736
00:48:08,052 --> 00:48:11,354
but well,
at least you know now.
737
00:48:14,092 --> 00:48:16,459
Where are your pants?
Put them on for a start.
738
00:48:16,461 --> 00:48:19,395
-I'm pretty hot in here.
-Yeah.
739
00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:22,131
The central heating's faulty,
you don't get the dial spot on
740
00:48:22,133 --> 00:48:24,400
the temperature goes
up and up and up.
741
00:48:24,402 --> 00:48:27,937
-You could take a look at it?
-Yeah, we can look at that.
742
00:48:30,275 --> 00:48:31,374
On my count.
743
00:48:33,311 --> 00:48:33,609
Release it now.
744
00:48:38,449 --> 00:48:40,616
-Perfect.
-[Ryan crying] You didn't count.
745
00:48:41,452 --> 00:48:43,052
That'll do it.
746
00:48:47,292 --> 00:48:48,357
Thanks.
747
00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:53,195
Oh, my God. That's so shit.
748
00:48:53,197 --> 00:48:56,399
-Ah, the temperature's
fine though.
-Ah.
749
00:48:58,169 --> 00:49:01,637
-How long were you together?
-Two and a half years.
750
00:49:01,639 --> 00:49:05,308
-Shit.
-I mean, it's fine now,
like I've-- you know, I--
751
00:49:06,210 --> 00:49:09,312
we don't hang out or anything,
but like I'm not mad.
752
00:49:14,352 --> 00:49:16,385
It's too cold
to be standing out here.
753
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:22,525
Do you want to come back?
754
00:49:25,697 --> 00:49:26,963
Yeah.
755
00:49:29,033 --> 00:49:30,700
-Amazing.
-[chuckles]
756
00:49:33,638 --> 00:49:37,707
[Ryan] What about you then?You've got to tell me about you, if I'm telling you all this.
757
00:49:37,709 --> 00:49:41,010
Fine. Right, but you have
to ask the questions, okay?
758
00:49:41,746 --> 00:49:47,583
So, me and my ex we finished
five months ago. Go.
759
00:49:47,585 --> 00:49:51,120
-Okay. Was it serious?
-Yes.
760
00:49:51,122 --> 00:49:53,522
-How long were you together?
-Six years.
761
00:49:54,392 --> 00:49:56,258
-Six years?
-Yes.
762
00:49:58,096 --> 00:50:02,732
-Um... Did you live together?
-Yes.
763
00:50:02,734 --> 00:50:04,500
-Are you married?
-No.
764
00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:06,202
-Were you married?
-No.
765
00:50:06,204 --> 00:50:07,436
-Engaged?
-Yes.
766
00:50:07,438 --> 00:50:09,705
-What happened?
-You can't do that.
767
00:50:09,707 --> 00:50:12,041
-What I have to guess?
-Yes.
768
00:50:13,378 --> 00:50:15,745
-Did one of you cheat?
-No.
769
00:50:15,747 --> 00:50:21,117
-Did he-- oh God.
He's not dead, is he?
-No.
770
00:50:21,119 --> 00:50:23,019
Oh, God. I was going to say
this game is awful.
771
00:50:23,021 --> 00:50:25,321
Fine, I'm just going
to tell you, okay?
772
00:50:25,323 --> 00:50:31,127
So, it started about a year ago
when he told me he was bisexual.
773
00:50:31,596 --> 00:50:35,231
-And you were fine with that?
-Well, yeah pretty much.
774
00:50:35,233 --> 00:50:37,666
I was like
"Do you still fancy me?"
775
00:50:37,668 --> 00:50:40,102
And he was like, "Yeah."
776
00:50:40,104 --> 00:50:41,504
And when I thought about it,
777
00:50:41,506 --> 00:50:43,706
I thought I kind of fancy
Jennifer Aniston.
778
00:50:44,509 --> 00:50:47,576
-Sometimes I imagine
what she must smell like.
-Coconut.
779
00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:52,348
Yes.
I've always said piña colada.
780
00:50:52,784 --> 00:50:56,819
-I think she uses a lot
of scented body lotions.
-Exactly.
781
00:50:58,056 --> 00:51:01,357
Okay, so anyway, I was in bed,
782
00:51:01,359 --> 00:51:03,492
it must have been
like 3 A.M. or something,
783
00:51:03,494 --> 00:51:07,263
-I woke up and he wasn't there.
-Shit.
784
00:51:07,832 --> 00:51:10,166
But I could hear noises
coming from downstairs.
785
00:51:10,168 --> 00:51:13,235
So, I got up, I went down
and there was in the living room
786
00:51:13,237 --> 00:51:16,605
-fiddling with the ornaments.
-Is that like code for...
787
00:51:17,208 --> 00:51:20,176
No, no just actual ornaments.
788
00:51:20,178 --> 00:51:22,211
Like a little dish
and a wooden cat thing.
789
00:51:22,213 --> 00:51:23,646
-That's weird.
-I know.
790
00:51:23,648 --> 00:51:25,347
And I say to him
791
00:51:25,349 --> 00:51:29,118
-"Are you okay?"
-And he's like, "No."
792
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,487
Obviously, he's fiddling
with ornaments at like 3 A.M.
793
00:51:31,489 --> 00:51:35,124
And he says, "Okay, so you know
a couple of months ago
794
00:51:35,126 --> 00:51:38,094
-I told you I was bisexual?"
-Which you did.
795
00:51:38,096 --> 00:51:39,862
Which I did, yeah.
So, I say, "Yeah."
796
00:51:39,864 --> 00:51:45,101
And he says,
"Well I'm not. I'm gay.
797
00:51:46,637 --> 00:51:48,838
I'm sorry. I'm gay."
798
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:50,639
And what did you say?
799
00:51:51,676 --> 00:51:54,210
Well, I told him that
I thought it was a bold move
800
00:51:54,212 --> 00:51:56,378
for the marriage,
but that it was okay
801
00:51:56,380 --> 00:52:00,116
because he still fancied me.
And then he just stared at me
802
00:52:00,118 --> 00:52:04,420
and kept repeating,
"I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay.
803
00:52:04,422 --> 00:52:08,257
-I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay."
-And...
804
00:52:08,259 --> 00:52:11,694
-"I'm gay". Yep.
-Did you see that coming, or?
805
00:52:11,696 --> 00:52:15,831
Well, looking back now I can
kind of see the signs but...
806
00:52:15,833 --> 00:52:17,600
Did his boyfriend give him away?
807
00:52:17,602 --> 00:52:19,268
No. I--
808
00:52:20,538 --> 00:52:22,238
that was such a dad joke.
809
00:52:22,240 --> 00:52:24,440
-I'm sorry.
-[chuckles]
810
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:30,263
Ah.
811
00:52:30,264 --> 00:52:31,247
So, you just had
to stop everything.
812
00:52:31,749 --> 00:52:33,682
-Yeah.
-I guess you would have to.
813
00:52:33,684 --> 00:52:37,219
-We had a house and everything
together so.
-Oh.
814
00:52:37,221 --> 00:52:40,422
To start with I was like,
"We can still live together.
815
00:52:40,424 --> 00:52:42,358
We can be mates and all that."
816
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,560
But that really didn't work out.
817
00:52:44,562 --> 00:52:48,164
So, I'm back
with my mom for now,
818
00:52:48,166 --> 00:52:50,232
and if all of that
didn't happen,
819
00:52:50,234 --> 00:52:52,334
I'd be getting married
next week.
820
00:52:54,539 --> 00:52:55,571
[door closes]
821
00:52:56,207 --> 00:52:57,907
So, is that your only ex then?
822
00:52:58,509 --> 00:53:00,643
No other women
I have to fight off.
823
00:53:00,645 --> 00:53:04,413
-You're going to fight them?
-Yeah, why not?
824
00:53:05,316 --> 00:53:07,850
That cheating one
sounds like she deserves
a punch in the face.
825
00:53:09,654 --> 00:53:13,756
Well, I'm kind
of a big deal so um--
826
00:53:20,464 --> 00:53:22,331
No there've not been many.
827
00:53:23,768 --> 00:53:26,602
And how many is not many?
828
00:53:28,539 --> 00:53:29,805
Ah.
829
00:53:32,443 --> 00:53:34,310
Are you just
making up a number?
830
00:53:34,312 --> 00:53:35,711
What? No.
831
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:39,215
-I'm just trying to remember.
-You're going to lie.
832
00:53:39,217 --> 00:53:40,749
How many have you had then?
833
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,920
-Uh...
-See, now you're going to lie.
834
00:53:44,922 --> 00:53:46,689
[knocking on door]
835
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:51,393
It's not going to be for me.
836
00:53:51,395 --> 00:53:53,796
No, it's going to be Dan,
837
00:53:53,798 --> 00:53:55,698
he probably is going
to want to speak to you.
838
00:53:55,700 --> 00:54:00,369
-He's been drinking so don't
believe anything he says.
-[knocking continues]
839
00:54:01,439 --> 00:54:04,440
Just go get him,
I won't judge you I promise.
840
00:54:05,376 --> 00:54:06,976
[whispering]
I have already judged you.
841
00:54:11,515 --> 00:54:12,848
[Ryan] Ow.
842
00:54:13,951 --> 00:54:15,751
Where are you keys?
843
00:54:16,787 --> 00:54:19,688
-[suspenseful music]
-You made me give you
them back.
844
00:54:20,958 --> 00:54:23,659
Please don't shut the door
just hear me out.
845
00:54:24,962 --> 00:54:28,297
-What are you doing here?
-I came here to talk to you.
846
00:54:28,299 --> 00:54:30,332
I called you like nine times.
847
00:54:30,334 --> 00:54:32,001
You didn't pick up
which I understand,
848
00:54:33,271 --> 00:54:34,737
but please can I come in?
849
00:54:35,740 --> 00:54:39,408
No. I'm on my way to bed.
850
00:54:39,410 --> 00:54:44,880
I'll be like ten minutes.
Five minutes. Max.
851
00:54:44,882 --> 00:54:48,517
-Don't call me...
-Don't call you Max,
I know, I remember.
852
00:55:04,001 --> 00:55:06,835
-Where's Dan?
-He's out.
853
00:55:11,008 --> 00:55:14,710
-Are you okay?
-No, sorry. I'm--
854
00:55:15,980 --> 00:55:19,648
drank some wine and--
all the wine. [chuckles]
855
00:55:22,887 --> 00:55:24,386
James and I broke up.
856
00:55:27,725 --> 00:55:29,658
Fucked up, massively.
857
00:55:30,361 --> 00:55:33,362
[tension music]
858
00:55:35,399 --> 00:55:36,598
I love you.
859
00:55:39,370 --> 00:55:40,869
I keep thinking about you,
860
00:55:41,539 --> 00:55:44,039
hoping that I'll bump into you
and what I'm going to say.
861
00:55:45,476 --> 00:55:46,842
Does that sound pathetic?
862
00:55:47,812 --> 00:55:49,011
[door closes]
863
00:55:50,348 --> 00:55:53,482
-Is that, Dan?
-Give me two seconds.
864
00:55:53,484 --> 00:55:54,983
I thought you said he was out.
865
00:55:58,823 --> 00:56:00,989
-I found baby Ryan.
-No,
866
00:56:00,991 --> 00:56:03,392
no that's,
it came with the frame.
867
00:56:03,794 --> 00:56:05,361
-It didn't.
-Genuinely,
868
00:56:05,363 --> 00:56:06,929
I don't know that baby.
869
00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:11,633
Okay. You all right?
870
00:56:11,635 --> 00:56:15,771
Yeah, no I'm--
that's-- it's not Dan in there.
871
00:56:16,841 --> 00:56:18,774
It's my dad.
872
00:56:18,776 --> 00:56:21,510
And he's,
he's in a pretty bad way.
873
00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:23,979
Should I leave? I should leave.
874
00:56:23,981 --> 00:56:26,115
No! You can't leave.
875
00:56:26,117 --> 00:56:29,051
He'll see you.
Can you just wait here?
876
00:56:29,053 --> 00:56:31,987
-I'll get him to leave.
-You don't have to do that,
it's your dad I don't--
877
00:56:31,989 --> 00:56:34,690
It's fine, it's fine,
can you just stay here?
878
00:56:34,692 --> 00:56:37,092
-Give me two minutes.
-Okay, yeah.
879
00:56:41,098 --> 00:56:42,398
Hello.
880
00:56:43,734 --> 00:56:47,136
-Hello. Listen.
-[moans]
881
00:56:47,138 --> 00:56:50,906
I am really, really grateful
for you coming over
882
00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:53,876
and saying this,
but can I call you tomorrow
883
00:56:53,878 --> 00:56:55,444
when this sunk in?
884
00:56:56,714 --> 00:56:58,847
Aren't you even going
to open your present Ryan?
885
00:56:58,849 --> 00:57:01,650
-Yeah, I'll open it tomorrow.
-No, do it now.
886
00:57:01,652 --> 00:57:03,419
Can you please stop shouting?
887
00:57:04,889 --> 00:57:06,822
[tension music]
888
00:57:15,199 --> 00:57:16,632
Is that James?
889
00:57:16,634 --> 00:57:20,102
Well yeah, I didn't have
a photo of us two together.
890
00:57:20,104 --> 00:57:24,506
Look, Ryan, you tell me
what to do and I will do it.
891
00:57:24,508 --> 00:57:26,041
I won't fuck up this time.
892
00:57:26,043 --> 00:57:29,445
Why don't we watch
the Godfather trilogy
893
00:57:30,648 --> 00:57:33,549
and how about I give you
your real present?
894
00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:39,855
I promise I will
call you tomorrow.
895
00:57:40,458 --> 00:57:41,990
Oh, God.
896
00:57:45,496 --> 00:57:47,796
[crying] Ryan.
897
00:57:50,868 --> 00:57:54,503
That's it. Be quiet, shh.
Up you come. Come on, that's it.
898
00:57:54,505 --> 00:57:56,472
That's it. There we go.
899
00:57:59,777 --> 00:58:02,211
-At least let me get
my bloody shoes.
-Shh.
900
00:58:03,214 --> 00:58:05,013
[whispering] You stay here.
901
00:58:05,015 --> 00:58:06,248
Yeah, all right, Dad.
902
00:58:09,186 --> 00:58:10,953
Always forgetting them.
[chuckles]
903
00:58:15,726 --> 00:58:17,226
There goes one.
904
00:58:20,731 --> 00:58:22,831
Can I use
your toilet before I go?
905
00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:26,535
-No. It's broken.
-What about your toilet?
906
00:58:26,537 --> 00:58:28,804
That's also broken.
907
00:58:28,806 --> 00:58:30,906
There's something wrong
with the water level
908
00:58:30,908 --> 00:58:32,641
and the toilets won't fill.
909
00:58:32,643 --> 00:58:34,209
The toilets
are broken, honestly.
910
00:58:34,211 --> 00:58:36,278
Right, well how do
you go to the toilet?
911
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:38,280
We use the sink,
or McDonald's.
912
00:58:38,282 --> 00:58:39,915
It depends on the number.
913
00:58:57,268 --> 00:58:58,767
I miss you.
914
00:59:00,237 --> 00:59:03,005
-Oh.
-Ryan, look at me, will you?
915
00:59:03,007 --> 00:59:06,275
I stayed with him
because I hated myself
for what I did to you.
916
00:59:06,277 --> 00:59:08,143
I will never forget that look.
917
00:59:09,079 --> 00:59:10,312
[loud noise]
918
00:59:10,314 --> 00:59:17,586
Have either of you two seen
my assorted biscuit tin?
919
00:59:30,167 --> 00:59:32,868
-Hiya.
-All right?
920
00:59:34,305 --> 00:59:36,138
[tension music]
921
00:59:44,949 --> 00:59:46,315
You can keep those.
922
00:59:49,987 --> 00:59:51,320
Beth?
923
00:59:51,322 --> 00:59:52,654
Laura?
924
00:59:54,224 --> 00:59:57,025
How-- how did
you know I was here?
925
00:59:57,027 --> 00:59:58,193
I didn't.
926
00:59:59,229 --> 01:00:01,163
Why are you here?
927
01:00:01,966 --> 01:00:04,766
-Why is she here?
-You know him?
928
01:00:04,768 --> 01:00:06,835
-Do you two know each other?
-Yeah.
929
01:00:06,837 --> 01:00:09,671
I-- are you two
in this together?
930
01:00:09,673 --> 01:00:11,073
Is that what this is?
What is this?
931
01:00:11,075 --> 01:00:12,174
Oh, my God.
932
01:00:12,176 --> 01:00:17,980
You're Ryan, Ryan. He's--
he's pissy Ryan? Oh, my God.
933
01:00:17,982 --> 01:00:20,983
-Are you two on a date?
-Whoa, why am I pissy Ryan?
934
01:00:22,219 --> 01:00:25,087
Why did you say pissy Ryan
and she said yes?
935
01:00:25,689 --> 01:00:27,623
The time you had loads to drink
and pissed the bed.
936
01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:29,691
-Are you two on a--?
-What three years ago?
937
01:00:29,693 --> 01:00:32,995
That night? That happened
one time, one time.
938
01:00:32,997 --> 01:00:35,197
-You pissed the bed loads.
-One other time
939
01:00:35,199 --> 01:00:37,165
and otherwise
it's been dry nights.
940
01:00:37,167 --> 01:00:39,134
Dry nights Ryan
should be what you call me.
941
01:00:39,136 --> 01:00:43,405
-Are you two on a date?
-No.
942
01:00:43,407 --> 01:00:46,108
No, no, so why are you here?
943
01:00:46,844 --> 01:00:49,845
-Don't you live in Wales now?
-Yeah.
944
01:00:49,847 --> 01:00:52,381
-You came from Wales, here?
-It was the Megabus.
945
01:00:52,383 --> 01:00:54,216
It's fine. It's cheap.
It's fine.
946
01:00:55,252 --> 01:00:57,152
Is this your idea
of getting back at me?
947
01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:59,354
-Is it?
-No, I'm not.
948
01:00:59,356 --> 01:01:02,324
I don't know what this is?
What is happening here?
949
01:01:02,326 --> 01:01:04,426
Beth is who I was
out with on Friday.
950
01:01:04,428 --> 01:01:06,261
And is this your ex Beth?
951
01:01:06,263 --> 01:01:09,131
[crying] I don't believe this.
952
01:01:09,133 --> 01:01:13,769
Beth I-- I didn't know
that that was pissy Ryan
953
01:01:13,771 --> 01:01:16,204
-or dry nights Ryan.
-How do you two know each other?
954
01:01:16,206 --> 01:01:18,774
Beth, if I'd have known that
I wouldn't have come here,
955
01:01:18,776 --> 01:01:22,411
-and you know that.
-Fine, fine.
956
01:01:22,413 --> 01:01:24,246
You two stay,
I'm going to leave.
957
01:01:24,248 --> 01:01:26,114
I'll let you get on
with your little sex party.
958
01:01:26,116 --> 01:01:28,183
Oi, why did you say
it was your dad?
959
01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:30,352
I didn't-- I don't
know what I'm supposed to say.
960
01:01:30,354 --> 01:01:31,887
This is going well, isn't it?
961
01:01:32,723 --> 01:01:33,989
I'm going to go.
962
01:01:33,991 --> 01:01:36,058
-No.
-No, no, no, stay.
963
01:01:36,060 --> 01:01:39,327
-It's what you want, isn't it?
-Beth, stop it.
964
01:01:39,329 --> 01:01:42,030
No. We'll let him choose.
965
01:01:43,267 --> 01:01:44,833
Pick one.
966
01:01:50,741 --> 01:01:52,908
-I'm going to go.
-No, you are going to stay
967
01:01:52,910 --> 01:01:55,377
because clearly
you're the one he wants now,
968
01:01:55,379 --> 01:01:59,081
unlike last week when you
were texting me asking was
I all right, saying goodnight,
969
01:01:59,883 --> 01:02:02,718
like pretty much you have done
for the past two years,
970
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:05,921
telling me you love me,
you miss me.
971
01:02:11,028 --> 01:02:13,361
-Here we go.
-Oh, no don't--
972
01:02:13,363 --> 01:02:15,497
Listened to "The man
who can't be moved."
973
01:02:15,499 --> 01:02:19,301
"Made me think of you." Wait.
Yeah, this is a really good one.
974
01:02:20,471 --> 01:02:25,040
"Miss you, still can't find
a girl who compares to you."
975
01:02:25,042 --> 01:02:29,111
-[door closes]
-¶ Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo ¶
976
01:02:29,113 --> 01:02:31,279
-High five.
-[girl laughs]
977
01:02:31,281 --> 01:02:34,382
You see Ryan this is Tali.
Tali this is Ryan.
978
01:02:34,384 --> 01:02:39,221
Tali teaches Yoga,
and yeah, Tali, Ryan.
979
01:02:39,223 --> 01:02:41,323
Yeah, is it shoes or no shoes?
980
01:02:42,526 --> 01:02:46,328
Hiya, Tufts. This is Tufts,
Ryan's ex-girlfriend,
981
01:02:46,330 --> 01:02:48,363
who cheated on him
in this living room in fact.
982
01:02:48,365 --> 01:02:50,899
That's why we don't have
a sofa anymore, isn't it?
983
01:02:50,901 --> 01:02:53,468
-My name's Beth.
-Yeah, but we call her Tufts
984
01:02:53,470 --> 01:02:56,071
because once happened
she shaved herself
985
01:02:56,073 --> 01:02:59,274
and when the pubes grew back
came as these like tufts,
986
01:02:59,276 --> 01:03:01,243
looked like individual popcorns.
I'm sorry.
987
01:03:01,245 --> 01:03:03,979
I didn't see it,
definitely not,
988
01:03:03,981 --> 01:03:06,882
but you told me it was rough
as fuck, didn't you?
989
01:03:06,884 --> 01:03:09,217
This lady I have definitively
never laid a gander on.
990
01:03:09,219 --> 01:03:12,420
I'm assuming, you're the girl
Ryan's trying to have sex with.
991
01:03:13,090 --> 01:03:15,190
-[Tali] Hello.
-[Dan] Tali everybody!
992
01:03:15,192 --> 01:03:17,492
-Woo!
-Woo, woo, woo!
993
01:03:17,494 --> 01:03:20,295
Well, Laura,
why don't you tell me
994
01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:23,098
how long has this
really been going on for?
995
01:03:23,100 --> 01:03:27,302
Nothing's been going on.
I only met him like last Friday.
996
01:03:27,304 --> 01:03:32,440
Friday! What?
When you were out with me,
to cheer me up? Thanks.
997
01:03:32,442 --> 01:03:34,910
-You left.
-Yes, because I was upset.
998
01:03:34,912 --> 01:03:37,212
-What you two
know each other?
-Seems like it.
999
01:03:37,214 --> 01:03:41,917
So, you took me out,
let me leave and then pull
my ex. Great plan!
1000
01:03:41,919 --> 01:03:43,585
Why are you making out
like I planned this?
1001
01:03:43,587 --> 01:03:46,254
I didn't even know
he was your ex,
1002
01:03:46,256 --> 01:03:48,990
and do you know what maybe we
could have realized this sooner
1003
01:03:48,992 --> 01:03:51,226
if you'd actually asked
me about my date tonight,
1004
01:03:51,228 --> 01:03:53,094
or you'd called me like a mate.
1005
01:03:53,096 --> 01:03:55,297
Oh, yeah, yeah that's it.
You mean like earlier,
1006
01:03:55,299 --> 01:03:57,866
when you texted me asking me
for an emergency phone call
1007
01:03:57,868 --> 01:04:00,001
because quote
"It is desperately needed."
1008
01:04:00,003 --> 01:04:01,503
and I'm not making this shit up.
1009
01:04:01,505 --> 01:04:03,972
-Look, Ryan.
-Put your phone away.
1010
01:04:03,974 --> 01:04:08,410
Now, I don't know if now's
a good time but has anybody lost
a pair of these?
1011
01:04:08,412 --> 01:04:10,545
-Ouhg.
-Is that one of yours?
1012
01:04:14,451 --> 01:04:17,886
That looks so much worse
and oddly so much better
than it actually is.
1013
01:04:17,888 --> 01:04:22,224
Look, I'm not going to argue
with you, I barely know the guy.
1014
01:04:22,226 --> 01:04:24,926
So, you two have obviously
got a lot to go through.
1015
01:04:24,928 --> 01:04:27,329
-I'm going to leave you
to it, okay?
-No honestly, Laura
1016
01:04:27,331 --> 01:04:30,432
-That-- it's not what you think.
-Ryan! Ryan.
1017
01:04:30,434 --> 01:04:33,134
-Really it looks bad, but--
-I'm done here, okay?
1018
01:04:34,271 --> 01:04:37,205
I've wanted someone that wanted
something else for years
1019
01:04:37,207 --> 01:04:39,241
and it, it doesn't work.
1020
01:04:43,614 --> 01:04:44,980
[sighs]
1021
01:04:50,354 --> 01:04:51,953
Oh, wet towels.
1022
01:04:51,955 --> 01:04:56,925
-[door closes]
-[Tali] I've always been like,
"A raisin is a raisin.
1023
01:04:56,927 --> 01:04:59,561
It's its own fruit,
and then Dan was like,
1024
01:04:59,563 --> 01:05:02,497
"It's a shriveled up, grape."
I was like, "What?
Did you know this?"
1025
01:05:02,499 --> 01:05:04,232
-He told me.
-Really?
1026
01:05:04,234 --> 01:05:05,967
-Yeah.
-Tell us something else.
1027
01:05:13,143 --> 01:05:15,243
Women are fucking crazy.
1028
01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:18,346
Laura is, I'm not. Anymore.
1029
01:05:18,348 --> 01:05:19,648
You okay?
1030
01:05:21,184 --> 01:05:22,450
Yeah, yeah.
1031
01:05:25,222 --> 01:05:26,521
[upbeat music]
1032
01:05:26,523 --> 01:05:28,323
Okay. Goblin,
1033
01:05:28,325 --> 01:05:30,292
-where are you from?
-[imitating a goblin's voice]
Dublin.
1034
01:05:30,694 --> 01:05:33,361
How will you be
leaving this club later?
1035
01:05:34,464 --> 01:05:38,967
-[imitating] Stumbling.
-Okay, okay.
1036
01:05:38,969 --> 01:05:40,502
-Seriously now.
-Yes.
1037
01:05:40,504 --> 01:05:43,305
How do you find the current
situation in Syria?
1038
01:05:46,343 --> 01:05:48,176
-[imitating] Troubling.
-Yes.
1039
01:05:49,713 --> 01:05:53,048
Um, what was it like receiving
the Nobel Peace Prize?
1040
01:05:56,053 --> 01:05:59,487
-It was very...
-[imitating] Humbling.
1041
01:06:00,390 --> 01:06:02,157
-Yeah.
-Yeah. All right!
1042
01:06:04,494 --> 01:06:07,062
-Don't worry about it.
-About what?
1043
01:06:07,064 --> 01:06:10,031
-About being on a date
with my friend.
-I'm not.
1044
01:06:11,001 --> 01:06:13,969
You've been
seeing one of my friends
for the last two years, so--
1045
01:06:13,971 --> 01:06:15,704
Okay, we all know
what's happened.
1046
01:06:16,406 --> 01:06:19,107
Why don't I open
that champagne, yeah?
1047
01:06:20,043 --> 01:06:22,477
You'll even like champagne.
It's made from grapes.
1048
01:06:22,479 --> 01:06:24,245
Oh, better not I'm pregnant.
1049
01:06:25,048 --> 01:06:26,982
You're-- what did you say?
1050
01:06:26,984 --> 01:06:30,418
[Beth] Ryan, where are
the champagne flutes?
1051
01:06:32,089 --> 01:06:34,356
You know, where are they?
1052
01:06:34,358 --> 01:06:36,458
Baby, where are your glasses?
1053
01:06:36,460 --> 01:06:37,559
-I'll--
-Don't.
1054
01:06:37,561 --> 01:06:40,562
-[Beth] Why?
-We don't have any glasses.
1055
01:06:41,164 --> 01:06:42,464
Please let me get her a glass.
1056
01:06:42,466 --> 01:06:44,299
-No.
-All right.
1057
01:06:44,301 --> 01:06:46,634
I don't understand this.
You've been
1058
01:06:46,636 --> 01:06:49,137
texting me, sending me flowers,
pretty much begging me
1059
01:06:49,139 --> 01:06:53,308
-to get back with you and now--
-I sold my fucking couch!
1060
01:06:53,744 --> 01:06:57,078
And now you're back here
like nothing happened
1061
01:06:57,080 --> 01:07:00,582
-and looking for glasses?
-What's the deal
with the glasses?
1062
01:07:00,584 --> 01:07:03,051
But all those texts
and messages that I sent you,
1063
01:07:03,053 --> 01:07:05,120
you didn't reply to one,
not a single one.
1064
01:07:06,023 --> 01:07:07,622
I know and I'm sorry,
1065
01:07:08,225 --> 01:07:10,125
but if we want to make this work
1066
01:07:11,395 --> 01:07:13,161
you have to move on.
1067
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:19,467
-Baby...
-Yeah, I have.
1068
01:07:20,103 --> 01:07:21,169
From you.
1069
01:07:22,506 --> 01:07:23,605
Baby.
1070
01:07:26,076 --> 01:07:27,409
You're going
to have to leave now.
1071
01:07:28,278 --> 01:07:29,577
Get out.
1072
01:07:30,347 --> 01:07:31,646
Please get out.
1073
01:07:38,722 --> 01:07:40,455
You're not actually
doing this, are you?
1074
01:07:40,457 --> 01:07:45,660
One date with my mate,
a few reps and suddenly
you're the big man.
1075
01:07:47,197 --> 01:07:48,530
I came here for you.
1076
01:07:49,299 --> 01:07:52,133
You came here for yourself
because James left you.
1077
01:07:53,070 --> 01:07:55,336
-Laura's right.
-Laura's an idiot.
1078
01:07:55,338 --> 01:07:59,140
She's an idiot
who doesn't make me feel totally
shit about myself all the time.
1079
01:07:59,142 --> 01:08:01,509
-Still an idiot though.
-Come on.
1080
01:08:02,446 --> 01:08:04,345
Please, get out.
1081
01:08:08,752 --> 01:08:10,251
Please, leave.
1082
01:08:18,862 --> 01:08:21,262
[door opens]
1083
01:08:22,232 --> 01:08:23,798
I'll raise
that child as my own.
1084
01:08:26,236 --> 01:08:27,669
I'm not really pregnant.
1085
01:08:32,109 --> 01:08:34,676
[GPS] Head southwest for thirty meters.
1086
01:08:34,678 --> 01:08:36,344
Which way is southwest?
1087
01:08:37,414 --> 01:08:40,448
You made your choice
"pissy pants Ryan."
1088
01:08:40,450 --> 01:08:43,785
Hope you and "I would rather
be married to a gay guy"
are very happy.
1089
01:08:43,787 --> 01:08:45,553
You certainly
fucking deserve each other!
1090
01:08:47,290 --> 01:08:49,190
Ah.[gasps]
1091
01:08:49,192 --> 01:08:50,892
Ah, oh!
1092
01:08:52,162 --> 01:08:55,430
-See, she did deserve a punch
in the face.
-Ryan!
1093
01:08:55,432 --> 01:08:58,800
-Laura!
-Shut up. Ridiculous.
1094
01:08:59,469 --> 01:09:03,571
Right,
where is southwest? That way?
Where does the Megabus go from?
1095
01:09:03,573 --> 01:09:05,673
You can kiss
goodbye to your job.
1096
01:09:05,675 --> 01:09:07,809
You haven't got the authority
to sack me, Beth.
1097
01:09:07,811 --> 01:09:10,778
-No, but Marion does, when she--
-Marion hates you.
1098
01:09:11,381 --> 01:09:12,780
She fucking hates you.
1099
01:09:15,285 --> 01:09:17,719
[groans]
1100
01:09:17,721 --> 01:09:20,588
-Marion loves me.
-[Laura] Slut!
1101
01:09:20,590 --> 01:09:24,459
-Which way is it? That way?
-No, no, wait, Laura, Laura.
1102
01:09:24,461 --> 01:09:27,362
I'm so sorry for--
I didn't mean to lie to you.
1103
01:09:27,364 --> 01:09:29,898
She just turned up and I didn't
know what I was supposed to do.
1104
01:09:29,900 --> 01:09:32,534
I know this has got to be
like the worst date ever.
1105
01:09:32,536 --> 01:09:33,601
This isn't a date anymore.
1106
01:09:33,603 --> 01:09:34,903
-No?
-Nope.
1107
01:09:34,905 --> 01:09:36,271
[slow music]
1108
01:09:37,440 --> 01:09:39,641
Shit do you want
a jacket or something?
1109
01:09:39,643 --> 01:09:41,209
No. I'm fine.
1110
01:09:41,211 --> 01:09:43,444
Look, I don't know
which way southwest is,
1111
01:09:43,446 --> 01:09:45,680
it's probably that way.
But would you
1112
01:09:45,682 --> 01:09:49,284
please just come in,
just for one minute.
1113
01:09:49,286 --> 01:09:50,752
I know I don't deserve it.
1114
01:09:50,754 --> 01:09:52,954
-Do you love her?
-No.
1115
01:09:53,924 --> 01:09:57,559
No. Honestly, no.
1116
01:09:58,628 --> 01:10:02,430
Laura, Laura, I am so sorry.
1117
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:05,667
I didn't mean for any of this.
1118
01:10:06,636 --> 01:10:11,773
I-- would you please just come
in, please let me explain.
1119
01:10:12,475 --> 01:10:15,543
-Yeah, come inside, Laura.
-Yeah, babe, come inside.
1120
01:10:15,545 --> 01:10:18,213
-Yeah, come inside you.
-Stop talking, please!
1121
01:10:18,215 --> 01:10:19,581
[Dan] Fine.
1122
01:10:26,356 --> 01:10:27,522
Fine.
1123
01:10:27,524 --> 01:10:30,358
-[all] Yeah! Yeah!
-She's coming in!
1124
01:10:31,761 --> 01:10:33,695
Oh, please, please,
some room thank you.
1125
01:10:37,934 --> 01:10:41,302
Thank you. So much.
1126
01:10:42,405 --> 01:10:46,574
Do you want a drink?
I've got champagne, genuinely.
1127
01:10:46,576 --> 01:10:50,378
It's still in a cup,
but the caliber of drinks
has skyrocketed in here.
1128
01:10:51,881 --> 01:10:53,281
Do you want one?
1129
01:10:54,818 --> 01:10:55,850
Sure.
1130
01:11:01,024 --> 01:11:06,527
-[champagne bottle opens]
-Whoa, wow, wow. Oh. So erotic.
1131
01:11:06,529 --> 01:11:07,829
[both laugh]
1132
01:11:07,831 --> 01:11:10,698
-Whoa! Take it easy.
-I'm so...
1133
01:11:10,700 --> 01:11:12,867
Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles.
1134
01:11:15,405 --> 01:11:18,039
-To Streep.
-Always to Streep.
1135
01:11:21,511 --> 01:11:22,543
So, Goblin.
1136
01:11:23,913 --> 01:11:27,048
-How's the champagne?
-[imitating voice] Bubbling.
1137
01:11:28,752 --> 01:11:31,819
-I thought you'd forgotten.
-I didn't forget.
1138
01:11:31,821 --> 01:11:35,823
-Ah.
-I am so glad
you can't read maps.
1139
01:11:35,825 --> 01:11:37,825
I can,
it's just that first bit.
1140
01:11:37,827 --> 01:11:39,794
I couldn't have had you
going back to Wales thinking
1141
01:11:39,796 --> 01:11:41,796
I was an even worse
Ryan than Ryan the Rabbit.
1142
01:11:42,599 --> 01:11:44,499
Oh my God. How do
you know about my rabbit?
1143
01:11:45,468 --> 01:11:49,404
Because you kept talking
about him, for hours, genuinely.
1144
01:11:50,473 --> 01:11:52,807
I don't know why?
He was a shit rabbit.
1145
01:11:52,809 --> 01:11:54,676
Don't say that now.
1146
01:12:08,525 --> 01:12:12,060
-Oh. [yawning]
-Oh. That good, am I?
1147
01:12:12,062 --> 01:12:14,629
-Sorry.
-Are you tired?
1148
01:12:14,631 --> 01:12:17,098
-Yes, a bit.
-Thought you were
French kissing.
1149
01:12:18,101 --> 01:12:19,534
Is this a date then?
1150
01:12:20,337 --> 01:12:22,537
No, I don't think
we should ever date.
1151
01:12:23,673 --> 01:12:25,673
That would be ideal.
1152
01:12:27,410 --> 01:12:33,881
That's sweet.
This is actually some
really nice stuff you guys.
1153
01:12:34,684 --> 01:12:36,818
-Shall we go upstairs?
-Yeah.
1154
01:12:38,855 --> 01:12:40,922
-No, you don't have to do this.
-I do.
1155
01:12:42,092 --> 01:12:46,060
Just let me get the champagne,
in case we do really have...
1156
01:12:47,063 --> 01:12:49,997
All right. Come on.
Mind your head, whoa.
1157
01:12:49,999 --> 01:12:51,699
[Laura] Ooh-hoo.
1158
01:12:52,435 --> 01:12:55,136
[Ryan] Ready, ready boys?
Strong legs them private!
1159
01:12:55,138 --> 01:12:57,071
[Laura laughs]
1160
01:12:58,575 --> 01:13:02,510
[Dan] You might not enjoy this,
but my God you'll remember it!
1161
01:13:02,512 --> 01:13:05,146
-[Tali] What is wrong with you?
-[Dan] Just joking.
1162
01:13:05,148 --> 01:13:09,417
-[Tali] What is this? Piss?
-[Dan] Yes.
1163
01:13:09,419 --> 01:13:13,988
-Oh, my God. You're disgusting.
-Why? It's just piss.
1164
01:13:14,758 --> 01:13:17,091
-Oh, oh it stinks.
-No, it doesn't.
1165
01:13:17,093 --> 01:13:18,993
It was in the morning.
Stay here one minute.
1166
01:13:18,995 --> 01:13:21,562
-[Tali] No.
-I love you.
1167
01:13:21,564 --> 01:13:22,997
[door closes]
1168
01:13:22,999 --> 01:13:25,600
Oh. I didn't see you there.
1169
01:13:25,602 --> 01:13:27,435
Oh, I shouldn't worry,
it happens a lot.
1170
01:13:31,474 --> 01:13:32,607
I'm Tali.
1171
01:13:34,878 --> 01:13:37,145
Tali, I'm A...
1172
01:13:37,147 --> 01:13:39,013
Ah... Right.
1173
01:13:39,616 --> 01:13:43,951
So, we have banana,
or that could just be yellow.
1174
01:13:43,953 --> 01:13:46,821
This apparently
makes everything burn.
1175
01:13:46,823 --> 01:13:49,590
-Uf... Not that.
-I don't like those either.
1176
01:13:49,592 --> 01:13:53,027
We have ribbed
or glow in the dark.
1177
01:13:53,029 --> 01:13:56,431
I'd prefer it if my cock
doesn't glow to be honest.
1178
01:13:56,433 --> 01:13:59,133
Banana.
1179
01:13:59,135 --> 01:14:00,701
Right.
1180
01:14:12,048 --> 01:14:13,080
Come here.
1181
01:14:23,626 --> 01:14:25,493
No, that's just yellow.
1182
01:14:25,495 --> 01:14:27,228
[both chuckle]
1183
01:14:28,765 --> 01:14:30,097
It's just yellow.
1184
01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:42,810
You ready? Do you want
me to do anything?
1185
01:14:44,247 --> 01:14:45,813
Nah.
1186
01:14:49,853 --> 01:14:50,852
All right.
1187
01:14:52,222 --> 01:14:53,821
-You all right?
-Yeah.
1188
01:14:54,858 --> 01:14:56,657
-Oh.
-Oh.
1189
01:14:56,659 --> 01:14:58,826
-Ah. Okay.
-Oh.
1190
01:15:06,035 --> 01:15:07,768
-Okay.
-Yeah.
1191
01:15:09,539 --> 01:15:12,940
[both moaning]
1192
01:15:15,778 --> 01:15:16,844
No...
1193
01:15:22,151 --> 01:15:25,052
-No!
-Oh, dear.
1194
01:15:25,054 --> 01:15:26,921
[both laugh]
1195
01:15:26,923 --> 01:15:29,891
-Did you come?
-Yeah.
1196
01:15:29,893 --> 01:15:33,194
-I did, but I can keep going.
-Can you?
1197
01:15:34,230 --> 01:15:36,731
No. I'm sorry.
1198
01:15:36,733 --> 01:15:39,066
That's okay.
It's fine, it's fine.
1199
01:15:42,005 --> 01:15:43,571
Sorry about that.
1200
01:15:48,611 --> 01:15:50,912
Hey, it was much better
than last time.
1201
01:15:50,914 --> 01:15:53,781
Yeah. It was, wasn't it?
1202
01:15:53,783 --> 01:15:55,149
So, imagine next time.
1203
01:15:55,151 --> 01:15:57,118
Puff... [chuckles]
1204
01:16:00,123 --> 01:16:03,324
¶ Sweat, baby, sweat, baby Sex is a Texas drought me ¶
1205
01:16:03,326 --> 01:16:05,126
¶ And you do the kind of stuff ¶
1206
01:16:05,128 --> 01:16:07,194
¶ That only Prince Would sing about ¶
1207
01:16:07,196 --> 01:16:09,864
¶ So put your hands down My pants and I'll bet ¶
1208
01:16:09,866 --> 01:16:12,833
¶ You'll feel Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert ¶
1209
01:16:12,835 --> 01:16:15,036
-¶ And you're getting two thumbs up ¶
-Yes. Ah!
1210
01:16:15,038 --> 01:16:17,071
¶ You've had Enough of two-hand touch ¶
1211
01:16:17,073 --> 01:16:19,140
¶ You want it rough You're out of bounds ¶
1212
01:16:19,142 --> 01:16:20,975
¶ I want you smothered Want you covered ¶
1213
01:16:20,977 --> 01:16:22,843
¶ Like my Waffle House Hash browns ¶
1214
01:16:22,845 --> 01:16:24,712
¶ Come quicker than Fed Ex Never reaching apex ¶
1215
01:16:24,714 --> 01:16:26,847
¶ Like Coca-Cola Stock You are inclined ¶
1216
01:16:26,849 --> 01:16:28,783
-¶ To make me rise An hour early ¶
-Fuck.
1217
01:16:28,785 --> 01:16:31,085
- ¶ Just like Daylight Savings Time ¶
-Yes. Ah!
1218
01:16:34,624 --> 01:16:37,158
-I know you're watching Pikachu.
-I'm not.
1219
01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:39,026
-You are.
-I'm just checking my emails.
1220
01:16:46,936 --> 01:16:49,103
How long have
you been awake?
1221
01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:52,173
¶ You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals ¶
1222
01:16:52,175 --> 01:16:56,277
¶ So let's do it like they Do on the Discovery Channel ¶
1223
01:16:56,279 --> 01:16:59,213
Say my name. Say my name.
1224
01:16:59,215 --> 01:17:01,916
Oh, I've forgotten it.
1225
01:17:01,918 --> 01:17:03,618
That's okay.
1226
01:17:35,785 --> 01:17:39,253
¶ Love, the kind you clean up With a mop and bucket ¶
1227
01:17:39,255 --> 01:17:43,090
¶ Like the lost Catacombs of Egypt Only God Knows where we stuck it ¶
1228
01:17:43,092 --> 01:17:45,793
¶ Hieroglyphics Let me be Pacific, I want to be down ¶
1229
01:17:45,795 --> 01:17:48,362
¶ In your South Seas But I got This notion that the motion ¶
1230
01:17:48,364 --> 01:17:50,731
¶ Of your ocean Means small craft advisory ¶
1231
01:17:50,733 --> 01:17:52,333
¶ So, if I capsize in Your thighs, high tide ¶
1232
01:17:52,335 --> 01:17:55,870
I actually have agoraphobia.
1233
01:17:55,872 --> 01:17:59,707
[both chuckle]
1234
01:17:59,709 --> 01:18:01,308
-Right.
-What?
1235
01:18:03,279 --> 01:18:09,183
Right, no. I, um,
I actually have agoraphobia.
1236
01:18:18,094 --> 01:18:20,227
So, right.
1237
01:18:23,232 --> 01:18:25,099
-Cool down.
-Ah.
1238
01:18:25,101 --> 01:18:27,902
-Ah, right. Okay, okay.
-Oh.
1239
01:18:29,739 --> 01:18:35,109
Fuck it now. Right, right. Okay,
right, right. No, no. Okay.
1240
01:18:35,111 --> 01:18:36,811
But um-- actually, right...
1241
01:18:36,813 --> 01:18:38,779
Well, I thought
we were going out, so...
1242
01:18:38,781 --> 01:18:43,150
-Right, no. What.
-Just--
1243
01:18:44,220 --> 01:18:47,922
Oh, my God. Just say it
really quick, right? Ready?
1244
01:18:47,924 --> 01:18:50,424
I just--
I thought we were going out.
1245
01:18:50,426 --> 01:18:51,759
Right.
1246
01:18:53,796 --> 01:18:56,097
Can we-- can we cut?
1247
01:18:56,099 --> 01:18:57,615
¶ Nothin' but mammals ¶
1248
01:18:57,616 --> 01:18:59,132
¶ So, let's do it like they do ¶
1249
01:18:59,135 --> 01:19:02,019
¶ On the Discovery Channel ¶
1250
01:19:02,020 --> 01:19:04,904
¶ Do it again now You and me baby Ain't nothin' but mammals ¶
1251
01:19:04,907 --> 01:19:08,776
¶ So, let's do it like they Do on the Discovery Channel ¶
1252
01:19:08,778 --> 01:19:10,277
¶ Gettin' horny now ¶
103160
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