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1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:02,719
Wait a minute.
2
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With all the confusion
of being born and being adopted...
3
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:08,598
...no one has formally
welcomed you to Earth.
4
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:14,830
So on behalf of the planet, welcome.
5
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,278
If this is your first time here,
I can give you a few pointers.
6
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,828
Let's see.
7
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,470
Well, just remember,
your body is your temple.
8
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:28,713
But it is also your dance hall
and your bowling alley.
9
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,908
You'll find that everything
tastes better chunky.
10
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,597
And if you ever feel...
11
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,830
...that the world is a horrible place...
12
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,673
...and you'll never
have a reason to smile again...
13
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:48,630
...just hide a tiny little harmonica in your
nose and get into a crowded elevator.
14
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,112
- Good morning, honey.
- Good morning.
15
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,238
- Good morning, little man.
- Honey, please don't call him little man.
16
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:59,757
Because it'll give him a complex about
his size and lock him into a gender role.
17
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,591
Excuse me, but I checked his diaper.
He's locked into a gender role.
18
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,997
Having a penis does not lock you in.
19
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,311
I wanna teach him
that he's male and female...
20
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,950
...and spirit and matter,
and earth and sky.
21
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,591
Okay, you do that.
I'll teach him to shave.
22
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,238
- Who's that so early?
- It's my folks.
23
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,834
- They're gonna help us out with the baby.
- Oh, great.
24
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,708
- Hey, brother father.
- Good morning.
25
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,472
I smell new life.
26
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,358
Come on in.
27
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,471
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me. Hello.
28
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,198
Hello.
29
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,477
Who are all these people?
30
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,392
Oh, they're gonna help us with the baby.
31
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:42,998
Why?
32
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,118
Because it takes a village
to raise a child, Greg.
33
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,319
It does?
34
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:07,799
Greg, this is Naomi.
35
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,475
She's our spiritual adviser
and storyteller.
36
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,030
I'm fine, thank you.
37
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,231
She's taken a vow of silence.
38
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,279
Of course.
39
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:22,839
And over here is Kim.
40
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,720
Kim is from
the San Francisco Lactation League.
41
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,633
And she's gonna supply breast milk.
42
00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:34,029
- You mean you're going to-?
- Oh, man.
43
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,918
From here.
44
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,712
And this is Prospero Dagbovie.
45
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,199
He's from Togo.
46
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,671
I'll teach the boy
about his African heritage.
47
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,671
Well, we were going to do that.
48
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,559
- So you have a drum?
- No.
49
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,109
Then you weren't gonna do
a very good job now, were you?
50
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:54,035
I guess not.
51
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,919
Thanks for coming, everybody.
You can throw your stuff anywhere.
52
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,640
- We'll figure out where you'll sleep later.
- Sleep? Dharma?
53
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,392
These people are gonna stay with us?
54
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,432
Yeah, it's our family tradition.
55
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,475
Okay. Well, how long
do they plan on being here?
56
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:14,358
- I don't know, as long as we need them.
- Yeah, well, I'm good. They can go.
57
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,036
Wait a minute.
Does this make you uncomfortable?
58
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,073
Yes.
59
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,714
- You were raised the same way.
- No, I wasn't.
60
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,030
What about the nanny,
the tutor, the maid?
61
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,078
That's not the same thing.
They were all paid to take care of me.
62
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,596
Hey, good news, everybody.
Greg wants to pay you.
63
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,672
- No.
- Oh, that's great.
64
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:46,150
Listen, you two are gonna want some
time alone, so why don't you pick...
65
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,392
...a date night,
and we'll cover for you once a week.
66
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:54,115
Okay.
Well, that does actually sound helpful.
67
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,510
See? If you give this a shot,
you might like it.
68
00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:59,638
Come on, everybody.
Let's decide on a feeding rotation...
69
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,631
...so our new parents can
get some sleep.
70
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,712
Wait a minute. Why do you get to
decide the feeding rotation?
71
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,359
Well, somebody has to do it, Lar.
72
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,750
- Maybe we should vote on it.
- We should draw straws.
73
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,753
Maybe we should vote as to whether
or not we should draw straws.
74
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,992
God, this brings back
so many memories.
75
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:19,438
You know, maybe we should hold all
votes until Greg's parents join the village.
76
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,876
Abby, I don't know.
My parents aren't really village people.
77
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,834
They've gotta be part of this.
I should go talk to them.
78
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,709
Dharma, I think my mother's having a
hard time with the whole adoption thing.
79
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,950
I think we should just give her
some space.
80
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,111
I don't know.
I think I should go talk to them.
81
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:42,956
Okay. All in favor of giving Kitty
some space, say aye.
82
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,913
Aye.
83
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:46,992
You can go.
84
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:52,757
I'm sorry she can't see you,
but she's taken to her bed.
85
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,069
Why? Is she sick?
86
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,514
No, but if anyone asks...
87
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,990
Oh, wait. Yes.
88
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:03,109
- It's about us adopting the baby, isn't it?
- I don't care if he's black.
89
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,870
This is your grandpa.
90
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,918
He's gonna talk about you being
black a lot, so just bear with him.
91
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,436
He processes things out loud.
Would you mind?
92
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,478
- What-? What should I do with him?
- Just talk to him.
93
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,438
He loves to listen to people talk.
94
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,359
Hi.
95
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,035
You know, I've never told anyone this...
96
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,351
...but I've always had this thing
for Lena Horne.
97
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,879
Hey.
98
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:35,792
- Oh, no.
- Incoming.
99
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,916
I just came by to say hey.
100
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,593
Hey.
101
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:46,949
- Guess who put on a bra for you?
- Very nice.
102
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,191
It's got underwire. It hurts.
103
00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,635
- Wonderful.
- Come on, Kitty. What's wrong?
104
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,198
Nothing is wrong, Dharma. You win.
105
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:56,349
- What?
- You win.
106
00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:58,192
You are in charge of the family now.
107
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,313
So, what's next?
We all move to the moon...
108
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,358
...and farm broccoli
under some big glass bubble?
109
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,715
Fine, fine. Just tell me what to wear.
110
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:10,954
I don't understand.
111
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,518
Dharma, I do not have the strength...
112
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:16,114
...to try to make everything
appear normal anymore.
113
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:17,713
Kitty, everything is normal.
114
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,079
Oh, yes. Of course it is.
115
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,913
My son marries a woman
he's known for one day...
116
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,197
...moves into a building
I wouldn't store my coats in.
117
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,711
His mother-in-law talks to plants.
118
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,348
His father-in-law hears them talk back.
119
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:34,670
And now, without any notice...
120
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:38,276
...without any warning,
I am a grandmother.
121
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,590
And I am not like Edward...
122
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,752
...I do not care that this baby is black.
123
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,910
Oh, you poor thing.
124
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,719
Come here.
125
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,836
Oh, dear God, what is she going
to do to me now?
126
00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,396
Okay, that settles
the feeding rotation.
127
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,630
Let's talk about
where the baby's gonna sleep.
128
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,109
Well, my ancestors constructed
hammocks for infants...
129
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,669
...from the stomach linings of elephants.
130
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,316
Why would I make that up?
131
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:17,240
I vote for a crib because it's a boy,
and it needs to be behind bars.
132
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:21,838
That is so sexist.
133
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,838
I can't be sexist. I'm oppressed.
134
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,628
You're telling me about oppression?
135
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,109
What do either of you know
about oppression?
136
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,430
After 5000 years, my people
know some-
137
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,079
Guys! Guys!
138
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:37,958
Wait a minute. Let's- Let's-
139
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,556
Let's just all remember
that when we try our best...
140
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,075
...we're never oppressed.
141
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,553
I have to go to work,
so I guess I'll see everybody later.
142
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,154
Oh, Greg, here's some stuff
we need for the baby.
143
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:55,950
Okay, thanks. And if you're near a florist
or a wooded area, we need moss.
144
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,432
Moss?
145
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,035
And a fifth of Jack Daniel's?
146
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:08,194
Naomi, you are so close
to your 90-day chip.
147
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,274
Great reverb in the bathroom.
148
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,078
- Abby, who's this?
- This is Sean.
149
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,390
He's like our village troubadour.
150
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,073
Play him what you got already, Sean.
151
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:29,629
My name's Greg.
152
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,552
Greg, huh?
153
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,516
Okay, now that is gonna be tough.
154
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:42,191
Do you have a wooden leg
or drink from a keg?
155
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,389
I gotta go.
156
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:51,075
You know, I don't understand.
If she adopted the baby...
157
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,516
...why does she need him?
158
00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,195
Anyway, I was turned down
by Juilliard...
159
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,477
...because my left leg was ever
so slightly shorter than my right.
160
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:05,870
When I spin, I tend to drift.
161
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,632
Oh, you must have been heartbroken.
162
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,950
Heartbroken doesn't begin to describe it.
163
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,588
I meandered aimlessly about Europe
for a couple of years...
164
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:18,072
...just shopping, having pointless affairs
with exotic foreign men.
165
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,472
Go, Kitty.
166
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:27,556
Then one morning, I was sitting on
the beach at Cannes at the Hotel Carlton-
167
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,551
- Do you know it?
- No.
168
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,073
It's wonderful.
169
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:35,313
- and I realized that my true destiny...
170
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,994
...was to be the matriarch
of a large, powerful family.
171
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,072
Like the Kennedys, but not Catholic.
172
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,510
- So why didn't you have a lot of kids?
- I couldn't have any more after Gregory.
173
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,715
Really? I'm sorry. Why?
174
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,598
It hurt too bad.
175
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:55,948
I don't care what they say.
176
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,998
Smart women never forget
that kind of pain.
177
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,196
This could work out
pretty good for you, Kitty.
178
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,157
Because I'm gonna have
a buttload of kids...
179
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:05,992
...and you could matriarch them.
180
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,511
Really?
181
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:11,558
I don't have delusions of grandeur.
That'll be what you teach them.
182
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,080
Of course. It would be sort of like
with the horses.
183
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,754
You'd be the breeder, I'd be the trainer.
184
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,475
Something like that.
185
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,312
Well, exactly like that.
Well, listen...
186
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,313
...we have a lot to do, my dear.
Where is the baby?
187
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,040
- I left him with Edward.
- Oh, are you out of your mind?
188
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,033
Haven't you ever felt that divot
in Gregory's forehead?
189
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,952
Oh, for God's sakes.
190
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:57,873
- Hey.
- What's up?
191
00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:02,033
Nothing.
192
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,033
What are you doing here?
193
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,753
Waiting.
194
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,114
- Waiting for what?
- Mr. Montgomery, your village is here.
195
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,678
I rode up with them in the elevator.
196
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,995
Marlene, Mr. Montgomery will see
his village now.
197
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,878
- Come on, right in here.
- Greg.
198
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,476
You remember everybody.
It's Kim and Naomi and Prospero.
199
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:29,675
- Hi, Pete.
- Hi.
200
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:30,829
- Sean.
- Hi.
201
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:34,231
- What's going on? Why is everybody here?
- A lot of important stuff came up.
202
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:35,435
What are you doing here?
203
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,477
I joined your village.
204
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:38,755
Your village is growing.
205
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,718
Yeah, and there's an opening
for an idiot.
206
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,472
Now, Greg, everyone feels
that you and Dharma...
207
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,358
...need to move to a bigger apartment.
208
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,552
Yeah, we all feel that, Greg.
209
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,355
Shut up, Pete. Why?
210
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,192
Well, because you could use the room.
211
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:56,713
And because Naomi sensed...
212
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,474
...some unsettled spirits
tethered around the place.
213
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,471
Unsettled spirits?
214
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,991
" Or it could just be drafty. "
215
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,918
You know,
I'm gonna go check the lobby...
216
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,993
...because you seem to be short
a cowboy and a construction worker.
217
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,236
Listen, everybody,
can we not do this now?
218
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,713
- Anyone second his motion to postpone?
- I second.
219
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,757
- All in favor?
- Aye.
220
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,195
I'm sorry, Greg.
The motion doesn't carry.
221
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,316
Okay. So where were we?
222
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,040
- What about the refrigerator?
- The apartment...
223
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:31,998
No, no, no. You don't understand.
224
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,435
My grandchild is going
to have his first exam...
225
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,716
...from the head
of Pediatric Medicine.
226
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,798
What do you mean impossible?
227
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,840
Would you grant me a favor?
Would you lean out the window...
228
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,356
...and look at the name on the side
of the building that you're sitting?
229
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,475
Yes, that Montgomery.
230
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,073
Two o'clock would be fine. Thank you.
231
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,434
All right.
232
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:54,999
Look.
233
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,312
- Yes?
- Kitty, it's very sweet of you...
234
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:58,833
...to bully people for us...
235
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,070
...but we have a doctor.
236
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:02,958
But wouldn't you be more comfortable...
237
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,395
...with someone who's treated
the children of four presidents?
238
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:09,394
- Well, our guy treated the Zappa kids.
- What are Zappa kids?
239
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,195
You know, Dweezil, Moon Unit...
240
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,116
Kitty, he doesn't need to go
to a hospital.
241
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,113
Excuse me, Dharma, darling,
but you asked me to get involved here.
242
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,918
Now, do you want my help
or don't you?
243
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,513
- Yeah, but I just-
- Splendid.
244
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:23,591
Then we're going to call the decorator...
245
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,354
...because we really
must get the nursery for...
246
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,590
For heaven's sakes,
we must name this child.
247
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,835
I just thought we'd get
to know him for a while...
248
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,514
...and then let his spirit
guide us to his true name.
249
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,673
Well, let me give you
a little hint.
250
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,957
If we name him after Edward's
favorite Uncle Fergus...
251
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,829
...he might just inherit
a tobacco company.
252
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:48,198
Sebastian. Darling, it's Kitty.
Oh, I have wonderful news. Yes.
253
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,831
I am so sorry.
254
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,998
All right. No, I got it.
255
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,912
The motion, as modified, reads:
256
00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:02,234
"The new refrigerator will be side-by-side,
no icemaker, but icemaker-ready. "
257
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,231
I'll say it till the day I die.
258
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:09,075
You can't put a deli platter
in a side-by-side refrigerator.
259
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:12,870
- But, Larry, the vote was four to three.
- Yeah, but your vote shouldn't count.
260
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,792
- You're Canadian.
- What?
261
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,190
That is so racist.
262
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:22,036
- How is that racist?
- Hello, she's from Canada.
263
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:25,636
- Do you not see the injustice?
- What do you know about injustice?
264
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:29,270
- Hello. Can I say something here?
- You want injustice?
265
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:33,797
- You try getting a record contract.
- That's not injustice, you suck.
266
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,428
All right, just knock it off!
267
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,229
Thank you.
268
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,629
Okay, now, Abby...
269
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,631
...I know you're doing this
out of love.
270
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,995
And the rest of you
taking time out of your lives...
271
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:49,639
...I just can't thank you enough.
272
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,349
But I've got to tell you,
I'm having a really hard time...
273
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:58,355
...with the whole village thing.
274
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:05,588
That is so honest and open
and straight from the heart.
275
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,233
And I think we all know
what he's saying, don't we?
276
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,958
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
277
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:15,157
All in favor of Greg's motion
to disband, say aye.
278
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,873
All right, so we're back to the...
279
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,393
Does little Fergus like his new clothes?
280
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,312
Kitty, his name isn't Fergus...
281
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,835
...and please don't talk baby talk to him.
282
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,952
Fergus' mommy is all tired and fussy.
283
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:43,759
Can we just go home?
284
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,673
Dharma, he has an interview
with the admissions officer...
285
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,910
- ... at St. Aubin's Preschool.
- Kitty, he's a baby.
286
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,036
Oh, frankly, he's late.
287
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,919
Gregory was admitted off his sonogram.
288
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,591
Fergus? Fergus?
Where do I know that name from?
289
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:03,036
- He's your uncle, Edward.
- I don't have an Uncle Edward.
290
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,515
I can't believe I let you drive a car.
291
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,240
I'll just call Greg and tell him
we'll be a little late.
292
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,279
- Hi, honey. Greg, help me.
- Dharma, what's wrong?
293
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,590
Your mother got the baby
a smoking jacket...
294
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,320
...and she keeps calling him Fergus.
295
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:24,230
Honey, when are you coming home?
I've got some real problems here.
296
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,755
Are you listening to me? Fergus.
297
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:31,154
Are you talking to my Uncle Fergus?
T ell him I said hello.
298
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:36,829
Dharma, I gotta go. Your mother's
about to declare martial law.
299
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,831
No, no, no. Greg, don't hang up.
300
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,353
Darn.
301
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:46,153
Well, St. Aubin's.
Edward, crack a window.
302
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:48,709
Dharma's going to wait in the car.
303
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,596
- Hold his head, for God-
- I am supporting his head-
304
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,592
I wanted to call you, but three
other people were in line to get this.
305
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,398
Your mother put it up for a vote.
306
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,596
I tried to filibuster till you got here...
307
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,190
...but I burned bridges
on the refrigerator issue...
308
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,430
...and they invoked cloture on me.
309
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:26,992
- I love it.
- I know. So do I...
310
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,720
...which is really freaking me out.
311
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:34,795
Edward, we decided the baby
isn't gonna play with corporate logos.
312
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,670
This isn't a corporate logo,
it's Mickey Mouse.
313
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,070
I like Mickey Mouse.
314
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:45,472
You know, if you wanna vote on it,
the toy committee meets tomorrow at 11.
315
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,392
Actually it's been pushed back till 2...
316
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:52,350
...to accommodate an African naming
ceremony for the baby and Kim's haircut.
317
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,274
Who are these people?
318
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,590
This is the village
that I wanted you to join.
319
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,798
Hey, toilet isn't gonna clean itself.
320
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,160
Gregory, why do you let these
lunatics control your life?
321
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,390
That's your mother's job.
322
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,591
- What did she call us?
- Lunatics.
323
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,114
Damn.
324
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:13,714
Dharma, kitchen.
325
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,519
Hey.
326
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:22,677
Who are you calling a lunatic,
you catalog hag?
327
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,674
Don't you sass me, young man.
328
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,556
Dharma, I have tried to like the village.
I really have, but I hate it.
329
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:40,872
- They're taking over.
- Well, your mother named our son Fergus.
330
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,958
- The village threw away our meat.
- Fergus.
331
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,634
Like fungus with an "erg. "
332
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,670
Naomi refuses to close
the bathroom door.
333
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:55,476
F- E-R-gus!
334
00:18:56,120 --> 00:19:00,033
Okay. I'll do something about my mother
if you can do something about them.
335
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,430
What am I supposed to do?
I can't just kick them out.
336
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,718
Okay, I don't wanna sound judgmental,
but Kitty's being a 14-karat bitch.
337
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:13,030
And if you don't get out here and
do something, everybody's gonna leave.
338
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,989
So it's a pretty cool place, huh?
339
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:33,877
Listen, I know it's been a crazy day
around here, but it's not always like this.
340
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,511
Well, it is.
341
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,440
But don't worry, you get used to it.
342
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:45,390
Which is exactly when it changes
into something completely different.
343
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,554
- You okay out here?
- Yeah, we're fine.
344
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,358
- You want me to feed him?
- No.
345
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,159
You've been up all night. I can do this.
346
00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:00,155
- This is much better, isn't it?
- Much better.
347
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,550
- I've been thinking about names.
- Yeah?
348
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,996
- Fergus has kind of grown on me.
- Oh, come on.
349
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,200
No, I mean it.
I mean, I hated it at first.
350
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:13,114
But that's just because your mother
brought it up. Which is totally unfair.
351
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,113
I mean, Fergus is a strong name.
352
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,396
Fergus Montgomery.
353
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,278
Fergus the Brave.
354
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:26,319
Halt, who goes there?
It is I, Fergus the Brave.
355
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:31,030
And I have dirtied my diapers.
356
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,474
I really am okay here
if you wanna get some sleep.
357
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,032
I'm okay.
358
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,471
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