subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Love.Simon.2018.HDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO-HI

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic Download

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English Download

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian Download

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish Download

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil Download

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,355 --> 00:00:35,355 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:35,954 --> 00:00:36,721 (indistinct conversations) 3 00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:40,288 (The "Oogum Boogum" song playing) 4 00:00:45,961 --> 00:00:46,860 SIMON: I'm just like you. 5 00:00:47,330 --> 00:00:49,297 For the most part, my life is totally normal. 6 00:00:49,365 --> 00:00:51,201 - Happy birthday. - No! 7 00:00:51,401 --> 00:00:53,467 SIMON: My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback 8 00:00:53,535 --> 00:00:55,669 who married the hot valedictorian. 9 00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:58,373 And, no, they didn't peak in high school. 10 00:00:58,674 --> 00:01:00,042 - (car door closes) - (horn honks) 11 00:01:00,308 --> 00:01:01,507 I have a sister I actually like. 12 00:01:01,608 --> 00:01:02,908 Not that I'd ever tell her that. 13 00:01:03,179 --> 00:01:04,079 And last year, 14 00:01:04,313 --> 00:01:05,481 and 200 episodes of Chopped ago... 15 00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:07,249 she decided she wanted to be a chef. 16 00:01:07,481 --> 00:01:09,983 Which means we're pretty much all her test subjects now. 17 00:01:10,052 --> 00:01:10,953 ♪ Cute mini skirt ♪ 18 00:01:11,153 --> 00:01:13,553 ♪ With your brother's sloppy shirt ♪ 19 00:01:14,322 --> 00:01:17,024 ♪ I admit it girl, That I can dig it ♪ 20 00:01:17,093 --> 00:01:18,325 EMILY: Is it spicy, Jack? 21 00:01:18,493 --> 00:01:21,261 - (spits) - Oh! Gracious. Oh, my gosh. 22 00:01:21,663 --> 00:01:22,862 SIMON: And then there's my friends. 23 00:01:25,067 --> 00:01:25,968 Two of them, I've known 24 00:01:26,234 --> 00:01:27,967 since pretty much the beginning of time. 25 00:01:28,269 --> 00:01:30,170 - Or at least kindergarten. - No. No. 26 00:01:30,406 --> 00:01:31,840 - LEAH: Oh! Sorry! - Okay. How 'bout that? 27 00:01:31,974 --> 00:01:33,340 (crowd cheering) 28 00:01:33,741 --> 00:01:35,776 One of them, I just met a few months ago, 29 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,678 but it feels like I've known her forever. 30 00:01:37,978 --> 00:01:39,079 We do everything friends do. 31 00:01:39,181 --> 00:01:40,816 We drink way too much iced coffee, 32 00:01:40,882 --> 00:01:43,316 watch bad '90s movies and hang out at Waffle House 33 00:01:43,385 --> 00:01:45,753 dreaming of college and gorging on carbs. 34 00:01:46,188 --> 00:01:47,520 (cheering continues) 35 00:01:47,589 --> 00:01:51,092 ♪ You got me doin' funny things Like a clown ♪ 36 00:01:51,926 --> 00:01:53,061 ♪ Just look at me ♪ 37 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:58,699 ♪ When you wear Your bell-bottom pants... ♪ 38 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,601 SIMON: So, like I said. 39 00:02:01,405 --> 00:02:02,437 I'm just like you. 40 00:02:02,672 --> 00:02:05,074 I have a totally, perfectly normal life. 41 00:02:07,843 --> 00:02:10,079 Except I have one huge-ass secret. 42 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,882 ♪ Now go on With your bad self ♪ 43 00:02:21,691 --> 00:02:26,359 ♪ Ooh, ooh, now mercy, Mercy on me ♪ 44 00:02:26,428 --> 00:02:28,528 - (knocking on door) - Hey! Morning! Oh! 45 00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:30,431 - Hey! - Sorry. 46 00:02:30,499 --> 00:02:31,966 I didn't realize you were masturbating. 47 00:02:32,035 --> 00:02:32,933 Yeah, very funny. 48 00:02:33,234 --> 00:02:34,267 Your sister's downstairs making some 49 00:02:34,438 --> 00:02:36,405 la-di-da pancake thing she saw on Top Chef, 50 00:02:36,472 --> 00:02:38,171 so we should probably go eat that. 51 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,606 Great. I'll be down in just a second. 52 00:02:39,806 --> 00:02:42,940 Okay. Right after you finish searching the internet for... 53 00:02:43,311 --> 00:02:45,412 lingerie photos of Gigi Habib? 54 00:02:45,613 --> 00:02:48,080 (scoffs) It's Hadid. 55 00:02:48,449 --> 00:02:50,583 Right. I didn't realize she was your girlfriend. 56 00:02:50,652 --> 00:02:51,953 All right, finish up here. 57 00:02:53,254 --> 00:02:54,155 You got me. 58 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:03,064 (indistinct chatter) 59 00:03:03,799 --> 00:03:05,799 - Morning, guys. - Simon, have a seat, honey. 60 00:03:05,867 --> 00:03:07,201 - Morning, Simon. - You gotta eat your breakfast. 61 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:08,170 Please don't tell me 62 00:03:08,604 --> 00:03:09,804 that breakfast is the most important meal of the day 63 00:03:09,938 --> 00:03:11,939 because that is just so cliché. You're better than that. 64 00:03:12,206 --> 00:03:14,272 I was gonna say breakfast lowers LDL cholesterol 65 00:03:14,342 --> 00:03:16,178 and prevents fluctuating glucose levels 66 00:03:16,245 --> 00:03:17,878 - that lead to type two diabetes. - Oh! 67 00:03:18,646 --> 00:03:19,546 Touché. 68 00:03:20,115 --> 00:03:22,250 Nora. These are incredible. 69 00:03:22,350 --> 00:03:24,418 Cornmeal pancakes with blackberry compote. 70 00:03:25,319 --> 00:03:26,487 But they're not crumbly enough. 71 00:03:26,589 --> 00:03:28,655 Stop it. They're perfect. 72 00:03:28,857 --> 00:03:29,890 (Nora sighs) 73 00:03:29,957 --> 00:03:30,925 Eat up, Bieber. 74 00:03:32,527 --> 00:03:33,627 - See you, guys. - JACK: See you, Simon. 75 00:03:33,795 --> 00:03:35,897 EMILY: Hey, honey. Be back by seven! It's TV night. 76 00:03:44,205 --> 00:03:45,940 (leaf blower whirs) 77 00:03:48,910 --> 00:03:49,811 Hey! 78 00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:51,110 Morning! 79 00:03:51,513 --> 00:03:53,580 It's Simon! I live right here! 80 00:03:55,216 --> 00:03:56,684 I like your boots! 81 00:04:00,088 --> 00:04:00,988 Okay, bye! 82 00:04:06,361 --> 00:04:07,994 - (sighs) - (horn honks) 83 00:04:09,364 --> 00:04:10,598 God damn. 84 00:04:15,804 --> 00:04:17,170 ("Rollercoaster" playing) 85 00:04:23,578 --> 00:04:25,980 ♪ It was summer When I saw your face ♪ 86 00:04:26,549 --> 00:04:28,882 ♪ Looked like a teenage Runaway... ♪ 87 00:04:30,017 --> 00:04:31,150 - Yo! - Yo! 88 00:04:31,353 --> 00:04:32,987 Had the craziest dream last night. 89 00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:35,088 Hey, Nick, you have the craziest dream every night. 90 00:04:35,189 --> 00:04:36,689 NICK: You don't understand. I'm in this cave, right? 91 00:04:36,759 --> 00:04:37,825 Or maybe it's in outer space. 92 00:04:38,094 --> 00:04:39,661 David Beckham is there with these two contact lenses 93 00:04:39,729 --> 00:04:42,295 and then like, blue one or red one, like he's a sexy 94 00:04:42,430 --> 00:04:43,596 Morpheus from Matrix. 95 00:04:43,697 --> 00:04:44,898 And I don't know which one to pick. 96 00:04:44,966 --> 00:04:46,601 I don't know what to do with these things. 97 00:04:46,836 --> 00:04:49,270 Oh, my God. Have you guys seen Creek Secrets today? 98 00:04:49,371 --> 00:04:51,572 First of all, you are obsessed with that blog, so... 99 00:04:51,641 --> 00:04:53,307 LEAH: Okay, but apparently, Becca Peterson 100 00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:55,009 got caught giving Ryan O'Donovan, 101 00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,010 an HJ in the pool. 102 00:04:56,079 --> 00:04:57,778 That's the real reason they drained it. 103 00:04:57,847 --> 00:04:59,314 Man, our janitor needs a raise. 104 00:04:59,381 --> 00:05:00,281 LEAH: Oh, my God. 105 00:05:00,415 --> 00:05:01,716 - And an HPV vaccine. - (Nick laughs) 106 00:05:02,549 --> 00:05:03,650 NICK: Leah, I have this dream, right? 107 00:05:03,784 --> 00:05:05,253 LEAH: Nick, we have a rule, remember? 108 00:05:05,322 --> 00:05:07,056 No analyzing dreams before coffee. 109 00:05:08,322 --> 00:05:10,056 (indistinct chatter) 110 00:05:10,992 --> 00:05:12,093 Hi, could we get four iced coffees, please? 111 00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:14,294 Oh, could you get Abby's with milk? She likes milk. 112 00:05:14,696 --> 00:05:16,662 - One with milk. - What are you, her barista? 113 00:05:17,197 --> 00:05:20,166 (chuckles) It's not hard to remember "with milk." 114 00:05:24,605 --> 00:05:25,706 SIMON: Thank you. 115 00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:27,307 ♪ Hey I'm never the same ♪ 116 00:05:27,507 --> 00:05:31,245 ♪ It's a hundred miles an hour On a dirt road running away ♪ 117 00:05:33,215 --> 00:05:34,282 ABBY: Hey! 118 00:05:37,186 --> 00:05:38,219 - Hey. - Hey. 119 00:05:38,285 --> 00:05:41,155 (gasps) Oh, thank you. I am figuratively dying. 120 00:05:41,224 --> 00:05:42,956 So, Abby, last night I dreamt 121 00:05:43,089 --> 00:05:44,656 I put the wrong contacts in my eyes. 122 00:05:44,726 --> 00:05:46,793 - Another dream. You're like... - SIMON: Hmm. 123 00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:48,061 You're like the love child of 124 00:05:48,129 --> 00:05:50,530 Sigmund Freud and Cristiano Ronaldo. 125 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,233 - Oh, my God. - Thanks. 126 00:05:52,466 --> 00:05:53,866 Now, look. I can't see anything 127 00:05:53,935 --> 00:05:55,536 and I'm stumbling around in this cave, 128 00:05:55,603 --> 00:05:58,037 crashing into stuff, and then, I wake up. 129 00:05:58,406 --> 00:06:00,074 - That's it? - NICK: Yeah. 130 00:06:00,675 --> 00:06:02,341 Maybe it's something that you're not seeing clearly. 131 00:06:02,409 --> 00:06:04,644 Like something that's, like, right in front of your face. 132 00:06:05,181 --> 00:06:06,315 What am I not seeing? 133 00:06:07,281 --> 00:06:08,882 (exhales) No idea. 134 00:06:10,086 --> 00:06:12,253 ("Love me" playing) 135 00:06:14,455 --> 00:06:15,989 Ooh! Ooh! 136 00:06:22,162 --> 00:06:23,929 (indistinct chatter) 137 00:06:31,942 --> 00:06:35,510 ♪ Hey, would you like to ♪ 138 00:06:35,576 --> 00:06:39,479 ♪ Look outside sometimes? No ♪ 139 00:06:39,547 --> 00:06:43,416 ♪ I'm just With my friends online ♪ 140 00:06:43,485 --> 00:06:46,654 ♪ And there's things We'd like to change... ♪ 141 00:06:46,921 --> 00:06:49,020 We should be hot Pokémon for Halloween. 142 00:06:49,090 --> 00:06:49,823 Oh, yeah. 143 00:06:49,893 --> 00:06:51,260 But I get to be slutty Charmander. 144 00:06:51,359 --> 00:06:52,525 Cool scarf, Ethan. 145 00:06:52,726 --> 00:06:54,193 Hope it doesn't get caught in your vagina. 146 00:06:54,329 --> 00:06:56,329 Great choice on the cargo pants, by the way. 147 00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:59,100 It looks like you got gangbanged by a T.J. Maxx. 148 00:06:59,302 --> 00:07:00,636 Whatever, fag. (laughs) 149 00:07:02,238 --> 00:07:05,373 ETHAN: Honestly, it's just not even a challenge anymore. 150 00:07:05,674 --> 00:07:06,606 LEAH: Dicks. 151 00:07:06,907 --> 00:07:08,608 Wish Ethan wouldn't make it so easy for them. 152 00:07:08,911 --> 00:07:09,911 Yeah, well, at my old school, 153 00:07:10,178 --> 00:07:11,478 that would have been settled with a knife fight. 154 00:07:11,879 --> 00:07:15,648 - (bell rings) - Good morning, Creekwood High! 155 00:07:15,717 --> 00:07:17,051 Come on, phones off! 156 00:07:17,118 --> 00:07:18,618 There's a whole world to look at! 157 00:07:18,952 --> 00:07:20,687 You can look people in the eyes! 158 00:07:20,822 --> 00:07:22,956 (groans) Gah! Yeah. 159 00:07:23,158 --> 00:07:24,624 Stop with the selfies. You're not all that. 160 00:07:24,725 --> 00:07:26,160 - I'll see you guys at lunch. - Yeah. 161 00:07:26,795 --> 00:07:28,795 Wow! Simonay. 162 00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:30,365 Look at those new kicks, my brother. 163 00:07:30,431 --> 00:07:32,365 Where'd you get those? Where could I get a pair of those? 164 00:07:32,732 --> 00:07:33,932 - I forget. Sorry. - You forget? 165 00:07:33,999 --> 00:07:35,500 Come on, you gotta let me know the brand! 166 00:07:35,571 --> 00:07:36,838 I want to be sneaker brothers. 167 00:07:36,971 --> 00:07:40,906 Oh, I see more phones! Who took your phones now? 168 00:07:40,974 --> 00:07:45,676 Me! Me! Me took your phones now! You can get 'em at my office! 169 00:07:46,113 --> 00:07:48,646 I can't believe we have to be off book, in like, two weeks. 170 00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:50,818 Seriously, Sally Bowles never shuts the eff up. 171 00:07:51,119 --> 00:07:52,652 SIMON: Don't you wish you were talentless like me? 172 00:07:52,721 --> 00:07:53,820 Here. Let me show you a thing or two. 173 00:07:54,156 --> 00:07:55,555 SIMON: Because then you could just be living the easy life 174 00:07:55,623 --> 00:07:56,724 as company member number eight. 175 00:07:56,825 --> 00:07:57,925 (Abby laughs) 176 00:07:58,225 --> 00:07:59,893 Well, well, well... 177 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,460 If it isn't my fellow thespians. 178 00:08:03,498 --> 00:08:04,398 Hey, Martin. 179 00:08:04,599 --> 00:08:06,866 Hey, Spier. Hey, Abby. 180 00:08:07,235 --> 00:08:07,935 Hi. 181 00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:10,105 Excited to rehearse with you later. 182 00:08:11,439 --> 00:08:12,306 Hey, uh, so, fun fact. 183 00:08:12,607 --> 00:08:14,541 You know that Cabaret was actually based off a play 184 00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:15,811 called I Am Camera? 185 00:08:15,878 --> 00:08:17,577 Then I Am a Camera was based off 186 00:08:17,644 --> 00:08:19,812 this novel called Goodbye to Berlin. 187 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,180 And Goodbye to Berlin was actually based off 188 00:08:22,316 --> 00:08:23,484 Christopher Isherwood's 189 00:08:23,919 --> 00:08:25,652 - early years in Berlin. - (bell rings) 190 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,786 Wow. That's awesome. I have homeroom. 191 00:08:27,856 --> 00:08:28,756 Yeah. All right. 192 00:08:28,991 --> 00:08:30,457 Well, I think she found that interesting. 193 00:08:30,525 --> 00:08:31,424 Bye, Martin. 194 00:08:31,892 --> 00:08:33,492 Bye, big boy. (chuckles) 195 00:08:34,829 --> 00:08:37,030 Suraj! Now. 196 00:08:38,499 --> 00:08:40,000 Come on. You know the drill. 197 00:08:41,102 --> 00:08:43,603 EMILY: I've had an inspiration. How about The Affair? 198 00:08:44,105 --> 00:08:46,507 No. No. We cannot watch The Affair as a family. 199 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,976 - Why not? - Because it's all about sex. 200 00:08:49,211 --> 00:08:51,513 Oh, well, God forbid we should watch people make love. 201 00:08:51,579 --> 00:08:52,478 Oh, God. 202 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:54,948 Oh, my God. You guys are so repressed. 203 00:08:55,218 --> 00:08:58,184 Don't therapize us, okay? We are not your patients. 204 00:08:58,252 --> 00:08:59,453 - We're your family. - EMILY: That's true. 205 00:08:59,688 --> 00:09:01,855 If you were my patients, you'd be much more well-adjusted. 206 00:09:01,924 --> 00:09:04,191 - Oh. Nice therapy burn, baby. - Thank you. 207 00:09:04,592 --> 00:09:05,859 - She got you. - You know what? 208 00:09:05,994 --> 00:09:07,961 We didn't see last week's episode of The Bachelor. 209 00:09:08,196 --> 00:09:10,062 Yeah, how did that guy even become the bachelor? 210 00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:10,829 Why? 211 00:09:10,931 --> 00:09:12,531 Well, he's clearly gay. 212 00:09:12,867 --> 00:09:14,535 - NORA: No, he's not. - Really? 213 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:15,603 - He's handsome. - That date, 214 00:09:15,671 --> 00:09:16,571 where he took the girl to 215 00:09:16,705 --> 00:09:17,938 the "make your own perfume" place? 216 00:09:18,004 --> 00:09:19,837 Dad! The producers plan those dates. 217 00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,108 He is so fruity. He's so fruity. 218 00:09:21,177 --> 00:09:23,243 He's a one-man pride parade. Are you kidding me? 219 00:09:23,377 --> 00:09:24,910 - He has more chemistry - Just stop it. 220 00:09:24,978 --> 00:09:27,412 with Chris Harrison, than any of those girls. 221 00:09:28,949 --> 00:09:30,617 (whispers) After this, I gotta show you something. 222 00:09:31,052 --> 00:09:32,418 Okay? Let's watch The Americans. 223 00:09:32,486 --> 00:09:34,687 EMILY: Every single episode, you here next to me. 224 00:09:34,756 --> 00:09:36,156 So your mother decided that we should make 225 00:09:36,224 --> 00:09:37,590 each other anniversary presents this year. 226 00:09:37,657 --> 00:09:40,026 You know, so they came from the heart, or some crap. 227 00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:42,595 Anyway, I decided to come up with this bad boy. 228 00:09:42,696 --> 00:09:43,596 Look at this. 229 00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:46,498 I present to you, a Jack Spier production. 230 00:09:46,767 --> 00:09:48,001 - (mouse clicks) - ("Heaven" playing) 231 00:09:48,371 --> 00:09:51,239 ♪ I don't need to be the king Of the world ♪ 232 00:09:51,372 --> 00:09:52,271 Wait, wait. 233 00:09:53,208 --> 00:09:54,107 Look at that! 234 00:09:54,542 --> 00:09:55,976 Oh, it's so good. 235 00:09:56,043 --> 00:10:01,480 ♪ As long as I'm the hero Of this little girl ♪ 236 00:10:01,683 --> 00:10:03,149 Look at this. Wait, wait, wait. 237 00:10:04,117 --> 00:10:06,219 ♪ Heaven isn't too far away ♪ 238 00:10:06,290 --> 00:10:07,322 SIMON: Yup. Okay. 239 00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:08,421 (stops video) 240 00:10:08,823 --> 00:10:09,723 What are you... 241 00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:12,357 Look, this is your 20th anniversary, 242 00:10:12,427 --> 00:10:14,361 so I'm gonna be super real with you right now. 243 00:10:14,862 --> 00:10:16,397 This looks like a fourth grader made it. 244 00:10:16,530 --> 00:10:19,097 And not even the smartest fourth grader in the class. 245 00:10:19,235 --> 00:10:20,935 Just, like, a deeply average fourth grader. 246 00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:22,802 What are you talking about? This is amazing. 247 00:10:22,936 --> 00:10:24,970 I got fade-ins. I got dissolves. 248 00:10:25,075 --> 00:10:26,609 - This is beautiful. - Get up for a second. 249 00:10:26,675 --> 00:10:27,975 I'll help you. Trust me. 250 00:10:28,209 --> 00:10:30,210 We can make this good. We just gotta put in... 251 00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:32,410 you know, some home video. 252 00:10:32,982 --> 00:10:35,717 Maybe put in some better music. 253 00:10:35,949 --> 00:10:38,351 "Better music"? This was huge when we were young. 254 00:10:38,587 --> 00:10:40,621 Yeah. So was Bill Cosby. 255 00:10:40,721 --> 00:10:42,956 ("Waterloo Sunset" playing) 256 00:10:46,529 --> 00:10:50,965 (cell phone ringing) 257 00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:54,567 Hey. 258 00:10:54,634 --> 00:10:55,668 Have you seen the new post? 259 00:10:55,835 --> 00:10:57,268 No. What? Oh, my God. 260 00:10:57,370 --> 00:10:58,871 You know, I'm never getting back in that pool again. 261 00:10:58,973 --> 00:11:01,309 Wait, no. About the closeted gay kid at school. 262 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:05,579 What? 263 00:11:05,747 --> 00:11:07,012 LEAH: Yeah, it's on Creek Secrets. 264 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:10,749 ♪ People so busy Makes me feel dizzy ♪ 265 00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:13,921 ♪ Taxi light shines So bright... ♪ 266 00:11:16,924 --> 00:11:18,658 - Who do you think it is? - (exhales) 267 00:11:18,759 --> 00:11:19,927 I bet it's that sophomore 268 00:11:19,994 --> 00:11:21,562 with the rimless glasses. I get a vibe. 269 00:11:21,995 --> 00:11:22,961 - Actually. - Hmm. 270 00:11:23,062 --> 00:11:24,830 Maybe it's Parker O'Malley. 271 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,866 I've heard he's, like, obsessed with Les Mis. 272 00:11:26,933 --> 00:11:28,434 Oh, gosh. Jeez. I gotta go. 273 00:11:28,502 --> 00:11:30,436 Bieber just took a dump on the floor. 274 00:11:30,572 --> 00:11:31,438 LEAH: Aw, Beebs. 275 00:11:31,539 --> 00:11:33,106 - Feed him some rice... - Can I call you back? 276 00:11:36,512 --> 00:11:39,413 SIMON: "Sometimes, I feel like I'm stuck on a Ferris wheel. 277 00:11:39,846 --> 00:11:41,180 One minute I'm on top of the world, 278 00:11:41,248 --> 00:11:42,714 and the next, I'm at rock bottom. 279 00:11:42,882 --> 00:11:45,118 Over and over, all day long. 280 00:11:45,186 --> 00:11:47,120 Because a lot of my life is great, 281 00:11:47,255 --> 00:11:48,689 but nobody knows I'm gay. 282 00:11:49,457 --> 00:11:50,357 Blue." 283 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:52,326 (exhales) 284 00:11:56,063 --> 00:12:00,266 ♪ As long as I gaze on Waterloo sunset ♪ 285 00:12:00,869 --> 00:12:02,703 ♪ I am in paradise ♪ 286 00:12:06,574 --> 00:12:11,543 ♪ Every day I look at the world From my window ♪ 287 00:12:15,381 --> 00:12:18,949 ♪ But chilly, chilly Is the evening time ♪ 288 00:12:19,354 --> 00:12:24,590 ♪ Waterloo sunset's fine Waterloo sunset's fine ♪ 289 00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:31,397 ♪ Terry meets Julie Waterloo Station ♪ 290 00:12:31,866 --> 00:12:34,434 ♪ Every Friday night ♪ 291 00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:35,435 (clears throat) 292 00:12:36,573 --> 00:12:40,575 ♪ But I am so lazy Don't want to wander... ♪ 293 00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:42,274 Blue. Okay. 294 00:12:43,745 --> 00:12:44,644 (exhales) 295 00:12:45,212 --> 00:12:51,615 ♪ But I don't feel afraid ♪ 296 00:12:52,853 --> 00:12:54,887 SIMON: Dear Blue, I'm just like you. 297 00:12:55,291 --> 00:12:56,957 For the most part, my life is totally normal. 298 00:12:57,025 --> 00:12:58,458 My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback 299 00:12:58,526 --> 00:12:59,659 who married the hot valedictorian. 300 00:12:59,727 --> 00:13:01,060 And no, they didn't peak in high school. 301 00:13:01,127 --> 00:13:02,227 I have a sister I actually like. 302 00:13:02,329 --> 00:13:03,329 Not that I'd ever tell her that. 303 00:13:03,399 --> 00:13:05,099 And then, there's my friends. 304 00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:07,333 We do everything friends do. We drink way too much... 305 00:13:07,399 --> 00:13:09,300 So, like I said, I'm just like you. 306 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:11,970 I have a totally, perfectly normal life. 307 00:13:12,505 --> 00:13:14,507 Except I have one huge-ass secret. 308 00:13:20,479 --> 00:13:24,982 ♪ As long as they gaze on Waterloo sunset ♪ 309 00:13:25,285 --> 00:13:27,486 ♪ They are in paradise ♪ 310 00:13:39,633 --> 00:13:40,532 Jacques. 311 00:13:41,637 --> 00:13:46,372 ♪ Waterloo sunset's fine Waterloo sunset's fine ♪ 312 00:13:52,578 --> 00:13:54,346 (panting) 313 00:13:54,984 --> 00:13:56,551 Hey. Morning. 314 00:13:58,986 --> 00:14:00,086 (cell phone chimes) 315 00:14:10,297 --> 00:14:11,197 (sighs) 316 00:14:12,299 --> 00:14:13,198 Nothin'. 317 00:14:17,203 --> 00:14:19,037 TEACHER: Math is what we're talking about. 318 00:14:19,471 --> 00:14:21,638 Can anyone answer for me how we find the value 319 00:14:21,774 --> 00:14:25,913 of "d-y by d-x" that I have written up on the board? 320 00:14:26,614 --> 00:14:28,815 Does anyone want to... Yes! Simon. 321 00:14:29,751 --> 00:14:30,818 Can I go to the bathroom? 322 00:14:31,618 --> 00:14:32,885 Sure, it's fine. 323 00:14:32,953 --> 00:14:33,853 Thanks. 324 00:14:55,776 --> 00:14:56,742 (sighs) 325 00:14:58,545 --> 00:15:01,112 Simon. Simon. 326 00:15:01,282 --> 00:15:03,249 - Yeah. - Can I get some fries? 327 00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:04,550 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 328 00:15:06,054 --> 00:15:07,285 GARRETT: I'm telling you, the Oakwood Tigers 329 00:15:07,354 --> 00:15:09,288 score so many goals because they shave their legs. 330 00:15:09,423 --> 00:15:11,256 Garrett, I'm not gonna shave my legs. 331 00:15:11,424 --> 00:15:13,558 It makes their kicks more aerodynamic. 332 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,829 We can just do extra burpees, man. 333 00:15:15,897 --> 00:15:16,796 Whatever, Bram. 334 00:15:17,132 --> 00:15:20,501 Guys, I just found a press-on nail in my salad. 335 00:15:21,736 --> 00:15:22,636 BOTH: Debbie. 336 00:15:23,670 --> 00:15:24,737 (indistinct chatter) 337 00:15:27,674 --> 00:15:29,708 Why is there no cell reception at this school? 338 00:15:30,077 --> 00:15:31,311 I swear to God. 339 00:15:37,850 --> 00:15:39,884 - Simonay, Simonay. - Hey. 340 00:15:39,955 --> 00:15:42,122 What are you doing? You can't text in the halls. 341 00:15:42,189 --> 00:15:43,322 How many times have I told you that? 342 00:15:43,456 --> 00:15:44,523 I can't have all my students 343 00:15:44,592 --> 00:15:46,226 Tindering it up. That's my department. 344 00:15:46,294 --> 00:15:47,594 - Right. - (laughing) 345 00:15:47,661 --> 00:15:48,393 It actually is. 346 00:15:48,594 --> 00:15:50,629 I got a really hot date on Tinder tonight. 347 00:15:50,830 --> 00:15:52,095 She is cute! 348 00:15:52,601 --> 00:15:56,901 "Ew! Vice principals can't go on dates. That's gross." 349 00:15:56,903 --> 00:15:58,170 We're people too, Simon. 350 00:15:58,572 --> 00:16:00,340 We like to go out. We like to have a good time. 351 00:16:00,407 --> 00:16:02,274 We like to have sex. That's not a big deal, right? 352 00:16:02,341 --> 00:16:03,576 Yeah, no. No biggie at all. 353 00:16:03,643 --> 00:16:05,311 Actually. You know, I totally see you as a person. 354 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,546 - Thank you. I appreciate that. - Yeah. 355 00:16:06,613 --> 00:16:08,047 - Thank you very much. - You're welcome. 356 00:16:08,113 --> 00:16:09,314 - Seriously. - Yeah. Yeah. 357 00:16:09,382 --> 00:16:10,449 Could I just get my phone though? 358 00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:11,817 No. Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to keep it 359 00:16:11,886 --> 00:16:12,986 until after play practice. 360 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,421 But you will get your precious 361 00:16:14,588 --> 00:16:16,256 after play practice, okay? I promise. 362 00:16:16,523 --> 00:16:17,790 So how's play practice going? 363 00:16:17,957 --> 00:16:19,857 - SIMON: Great. Yeah, it's... - MR. WORTH: How's Ms. Albright? 364 00:16:19,995 --> 00:16:21,361 SIMON: She's good. 365 00:16:21,428 --> 00:16:23,529 MR. WORTH: She's good? She doesn't like men. 366 00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:27,599 ♪ Willkommen, bienvenue ♪ 367 00:16:27,768 --> 00:16:32,936 ♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪ 368 00:16:33,106 --> 00:16:34,007 (laughs) 369 00:16:34,174 --> 00:16:40,312 ♪ Au cabaret, to cabaret ♪ 370 00:16:48,456 --> 00:16:49,922 [claps] 371 00:16:50,658 --> 00:16:51,358 Okay. 372 00:16:51,858 --> 00:16:55,494 Those aren't actual claps. My hands are tired! (chuckles) 373 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:58,430 Okay! All right. 374 00:16:58,766 --> 00:16:59,766 That was... 375 00:17:00,968 --> 00:17:02,567 Cal, help me. That was... 376 00:17:02,769 --> 00:17:03,501 That was a start? 377 00:17:03,571 --> 00:17:06,005 That was a start! Is what it was. 378 00:17:06,207 --> 00:17:07,206 That was a start. 379 00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:09,942 You know, when Mr. Worth told me that no student, 380 00:17:10,244 --> 00:17:12,011 regardless of talent... (chuckles) 381 00:17:12,546 --> 00:17:15,180 ...was to be left out of my production, I had my doubts. 382 00:17:15,482 --> 00:17:17,316 Yes, I did. (chuckles) 383 00:17:18,051 --> 00:17:18,952 Yeah. 384 00:17:20,088 --> 00:17:22,253 That's it. That's my whole speech. 385 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,355 TAYLOR: Ms. Albright. 386 00:17:23,523 --> 00:17:26,225 Hi. That was the biggest train wreck 387 00:17:26,292 --> 00:17:27,358 our stage has ever seen. 388 00:17:27,426 --> 00:17:28,459 And Rob and Brianne 389 00:17:28,595 --> 00:17:30,162 were practically dry humping the whole song. 390 00:17:30,498 --> 00:17:31,765 MS. ALBRIGHT: Oh, I saw. 391 00:17:32,266 --> 00:17:35,235 Save the kissing for the cast party. All right? 392 00:17:35,535 --> 00:17:39,103 This is war. You're Nazis. Okay? More anger. 393 00:17:39,506 --> 00:17:42,808 Suraj, stop pretending that trumpet is your penis! 394 00:17:43,044 --> 00:17:44,344 - My boy. - (all laughing) 395 00:17:45,013 --> 00:17:46,013 It is a rental. 396 00:17:48,115 --> 00:17:50,083 I was an extra in The Lion King, 397 00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:51,517 and this is where I am. 398 00:17:53,953 --> 00:17:55,354 Hey. What time is it? 399 00:17:55,723 --> 00:17:58,291 Ten minutes since the last time you asked. Go. 400 00:17:58,892 --> 00:18:01,060 One! Two! Three! Four! 401 00:18:01,994 --> 00:18:03,362 ABBY: ♪ Welcome... ♪ 402 00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,797 MS. ALBRIGHT: I will kill you. 403 00:18:05,801 --> 00:18:07,701 Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy, yo! 404 00:18:07,934 --> 00:18:09,935 - Mr. Worth. - Hey, what's up, my brother? 405 00:18:10,003 --> 00:18:11,405 Hey, just here for my phone. 406 00:18:11,503 --> 00:18:13,539 Oh, of course you are. Of course you are. 407 00:18:13,673 --> 00:18:15,173 How'd you enjoy being unplugged? 408 00:18:15,309 --> 00:18:16,242 It was great. 409 00:18:16,544 --> 00:18:17,444 - Great, right? - Yeah. 410 00:18:17,612 --> 00:18:19,212 This isn't life, man. This is plugged. 411 00:18:19,379 --> 00:18:20,946 - This is unplugged. - Mm-hmm. 412 00:18:21,047 --> 00:18:23,013 Plugged. Unplugged. 413 00:18:23,718 --> 00:18:25,920 All right, Simon, I know that I'm hard on you. I really do. 414 00:18:26,086 --> 00:18:27,152 SIMON: Mm-hmm. 415 00:18:27,354 --> 00:18:29,688 But it's only 'cause I really see myself in you. 416 00:18:30,024 --> 00:18:32,690 Uh... You know, I don't know if I'd say that. 417 00:18:32,892 --> 00:18:34,928 No, I see it, it's obvious. It's obvious. 418 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:36,361 I know there's a lot 419 00:18:36,429 --> 00:18:37,663 - going on there, man. - Yup. 420 00:18:37,797 --> 00:18:39,397 And I bet you got a lot of questions. 421 00:18:39,465 --> 00:18:40,900 Is there something you wanna say to me? 422 00:18:41,768 --> 00:18:42,468 No. 423 00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:44,071 You know my policy. What does it say? 424 00:18:44,772 --> 00:18:46,739 - "Open door. Open ears." - "Open door. Open ears." 425 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,907 There's nothing you want to say? 426 00:18:49,275 --> 00:18:50,677 - Nope. - You sure? 427 00:18:50,978 --> 00:18:51,677 - Yeah. - Okay. 428 00:18:51,878 --> 00:18:53,012 - It's a great sign though. - Thank you. 429 00:18:53,245 --> 00:18:54,378 Thank you. Now don't text and drive. 430 00:18:54,447 --> 00:18:55,614 That's how my cat got murdered. 431 00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:57,415 - Okay. - (laughs) 432 00:18:57,550 --> 00:19:00,019 I'm just kidding. I don't have cats. I got asthma. 433 00:19:15,202 --> 00:19:16,104 (sighs) 434 00:19:18,271 --> 00:19:19,237 BLUE: A secret, huh? 435 00:19:19,605 --> 00:19:21,207 Is it the same as my secret? 436 00:19:21,708 --> 00:19:23,677 If it is, when did you know? 437 00:19:23,878 --> 00:19:26,712 - Have you told anyone? Blue. - (horn honking) 438 00:19:28,949 --> 00:19:29,851 Okay. 439 00:19:42,695 --> 00:19:45,263 SIMON: No, Blue. I haven't told anyone. 440 00:19:45,832 --> 00:19:48,166 And, honestly, I can't even really explain why. 441 00:19:49,569 --> 00:19:51,904 Deep down, I know my family would be fine with it. 442 00:19:52,203 --> 00:19:54,004 Hey, what rhymes with "patriarchy"? 443 00:19:55,042 --> 00:19:56,475 That says "patriachy" though. 444 00:19:57,042 --> 00:19:58,042 Oh, shit. 445 00:19:59,112 --> 00:20:01,179 SIMON: My mom's about as liberal as they come. 446 00:20:01,547 --> 00:20:03,916 And my dad isn't exactly the macho type. 447 00:20:04,785 --> 00:20:06,052 I mean, Creekwood's resident 448 00:20:06,118 --> 00:20:08,219 out-gay kid seems to be doing just fine. 449 00:20:08,488 --> 00:20:10,122 When Ethan came out, no one even cared. 450 00:20:10,257 --> 00:20:12,891 Guys, I have something to tell you. 451 00:20:13,826 --> 00:20:14,527 I'm gay. 452 00:20:15,062 --> 00:20:18,864 Wow, really? That's really great, Ethan. 453 00:20:19,132 --> 00:20:20,498 Oh, my God. No way. 454 00:20:20,868 --> 00:20:23,569 Oh, my God, you are? I had no idea. 455 00:20:23,637 --> 00:20:25,405 What a complete surprise! 456 00:20:25,571 --> 00:20:26,936 Too much, Claire. 457 00:20:27,507 --> 00:20:29,275 SIMON: As for how I knew I was gay, 458 00:20:29,342 --> 00:20:30,811 it was a bunch of little things. 459 00:20:31,743 --> 00:20:33,279 Like this one recurring dream 460 00:20:33,346 --> 00:20:35,214 I kept having about Daniel Radcliffe. 461 00:20:40,922 --> 00:20:43,457 And then proceeded to have every night for a month. 462 00:20:50,029 --> 00:20:51,662 I was obsessed with Panic! at the Disco. 463 00:20:51,729 --> 00:20:54,331 I can't. He's so cute. He's so cute. 464 00:20:54,568 --> 00:20:55,536 (clears throat) 465 00:20:55,636 --> 00:20:57,170 Come on, he's like Jesus and chocolate. 466 00:20:58,103 --> 00:20:59,071 Just look at him. 467 00:20:59,239 --> 00:21:00,207 SIMON: Then I realized 468 00:21:00,308 --> 00:21:01,874 it really wasn't about the music. 469 00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:03,908 And then there was my first girlfriend. 470 00:21:03,977 --> 00:21:05,812 I think I'm falling in love with you. 471 00:21:06,479 --> 00:21:08,481 Wow. Thank you. Be right back. 472 00:21:12,118 --> 00:21:13,252 Wasn't my proudest moment. 473 00:21:21,494 --> 00:21:23,396 How 'bout you? How did you know? 474 00:21:23,663 --> 00:21:25,698 Warmly, Jacques. 475 00:21:30,503 --> 00:21:31,736 Fondly, Jacques. 476 00:21:37,342 --> 00:21:38,243 Jacques. 477 00:21:45,452 --> 00:21:46,551 (cell phone chimes) 478 00:21:51,189 --> 00:21:52,524 BLUE: Jacques, don't worry. 479 00:21:52,659 --> 00:21:54,560 If your proudest moment happened in middle school, 480 00:21:54,727 --> 00:21:56,095 that would be pretty sad. 481 00:21:56,661 --> 00:21:57,928 For me, I realized I liked guys 482 00:21:58,165 --> 00:21:58,865 watching Game of Thrones. 483 00:21:59,167 --> 00:22:00,501 My friends were all holding their breath 484 00:22:00,967 --> 00:22:03,200 waiting to see the Dragon Princess's boobs. 485 00:22:03,971 --> 00:22:06,005 I was crushing hard on Jon Snow. 486 00:22:06,573 --> 00:22:08,108 SIMON: Well, I've never told anyone 487 00:22:08,175 --> 00:22:11,010 about my Daniel Radcliffe phase so now we're even. 488 00:22:11,242 --> 00:22:12,543 And for the record, 489 00:22:12,611 --> 00:22:13,979 I think Jon Snow is an excellent choice 490 00:22:14,146 --> 00:22:14,945 for your sexual awakening. 491 00:22:15,147 --> 00:22:16,847 So I guess, if I want to find you at school 492 00:22:16,915 --> 00:22:19,117 I just have to look for the Game of Thrones fanatic. 493 00:22:31,097 --> 00:22:31,796 Wow. 494 00:22:32,198 --> 00:22:34,166 I was just listening to that M83 song "Reunion," 495 00:22:34,234 --> 00:22:35,468 and it made me think of you. 496 00:22:35,869 --> 00:22:37,770 BLUE: You'll probably think my music taste is lame. 497 00:22:38,305 --> 00:22:39,805 Kind of have the same taste as my Aunt Sally 498 00:22:39,872 --> 00:22:41,506 who loves show tunes. 499 00:22:41,741 --> 00:22:43,675 Obviously, some of the things I've told you about myself 500 00:22:43,811 --> 00:22:46,278 are things I've never talked about with anyone. 501 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,812 There's something about you that makes me want to open up. 502 00:22:49,081 --> 00:22:50,849 And that's slightly terrifying for me. 503 00:22:50,917 --> 00:22:51,916 SIMON: So I've been thinking, 504 00:22:52,051 --> 00:22:53,686 maybe I should be Jon Snow for Halloween. 505 00:22:53,919 --> 00:22:56,055 What about you? Who are you gonna be? 506 00:22:57,190 --> 00:22:59,358 BLUE: I'm not dressing up. For me, 507 00:22:59,592 --> 00:23:00,692 Halloween's all about the Oreos 508 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,328 with the orange frosting in the middle. 509 00:23:04,263 --> 00:23:05,831 - Hey, hey, hey! - Hey. 510 00:23:05,899 --> 00:23:08,398 Wow. Look at that smile. You're glowing, man. 511 00:23:08,467 --> 00:23:09,367 No. 512 00:23:09,435 --> 00:23:10,435 You are glowing. You look happy. 513 00:23:10,503 --> 00:23:11,502 Oh, just regular. 514 00:23:11,572 --> 00:23:12,738 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 515 00:23:12,806 --> 00:23:15,040 Me too. I'm a little meh. 516 00:23:16,142 --> 00:23:17,040 Why "meh"? 517 00:23:17,277 --> 00:23:20,713 Oh, I had my big Tinder date last night. Oh, God. 518 00:23:20,847 --> 00:23:22,981 She was not into it. (chuckles) 519 00:23:23,481 --> 00:23:24,749 At. All. 520 00:23:25,218 --> 00:23:26,317 (bell ringing) 521 00:23:26,387 --> 00:23:28,020 - Oh, come on. Too soon. - No. 522 00:23:28,219 --> 00:23:29,420 The bell is a buzzkill. 523 00:23:29,489 --> 00:23:30,957 - See you, Mr. Worth. - All right. 524 00:23:32,458 --> 00:23:33,357 (Simon sighs) 525 00:23:33,591 --> 00:23:34,959 Well, thank you for your help, Fräulein. 526 00:23:35,029 --> 00:23:35,728 You're welcome. 527 00:23:36,227 --> 00:23:39,697 German accent for Cabaret. Yup. Take care, Ms. Bradley. 528 00:23:41,067 --> 00:23:41,966 Ladies. 529 00:23:43,471 --> 00:23:46,204 Let's see what you got, interwebs. 530 00:23:52,613 --> 00:23:53,779 LEAH: Here are your burnt tots, 531 00:23:53,847 --> 00:23:55,781 because you have horrible taste. 532 00:23:56,683 --> 00:23:57,682 SIMON: Here's your green banana, 533 00:23:57,750 --> 00:23:59,184 because you like disgusting things. 534 00:23:59,719 --> 00:24:00,619 Wow, you guys are weird. 535 00:24:00,886 --> 00:24:03,386 Yup. They're practically Cantonese twins. 536 00:24:03,722 --> 00:24:05,658 - Siamese. - Yeah. Siamese. 537 00:24:06,292 --> 00:24:07,025 Yeah, agree to disagree. 538 00:24:07,226 --> 00:24:08,560 I don't think that's one of those things 539 00:24:08,628 --> 00:24:09,627 where you can agree to disagree. 540 00:24:09,696 --> 00:24:10,597 - ...disagree. - It's just right. 541 00:24:10,664 --> 00:24:11,864 NICK: To each his own. 542 00:24:13,298 --> 00:24:14,198 BRAM: Oreos. 543 00:24:15,401 --> 00:24:16,400 Man, I love those. 544 00:24:16,901 --> 00:24:18,202 Halloween ones are the best, right? 545 00:24:18,270 --> 00:24:19,171 Yeah. 546 00:24:20,572 --> 00:24:21,907 Er, so, guys, I have great news. 547 00:24:21,974 --> 00:24:23,742 My aunt's boyfriend just took off 548 00:24:23,811 --> 00:24:25,511 with her car and all her jewelry. 549 00:24:25,578 --> 00:24:27,179 Bram, that's terrible news! 550 00:24:27,244 --> 00:24:27,945 I know, but it's like, 551 00:24:28,115 --> 00:24:29,048 the third time it's happened to her. 552 00:24:29,116 --> 00:24:30,816 She has really bad taste in men. 553 00:24:31,383 --> 00:24:34,886 Anyways, my mom is going down to Orlando to deal with it 554 00:24:34,954 --> 00:24:38,022 which means I get to throw a Halloween party. 555 00:24:38,626 --> 00:24:39,992 - Awesome! - Yay! 556 00:24:40,059 --> 00:24:40,759 Nice! 557 00:24:40,927 --> 00:24:42,693 Thank you, Bram's dumb-ass aunt! 558 00:24:42,828 --> 00:24:44,430 All right, this is gonna be epic, you guys. 559 00:24:44,529 --> 00:24:45,930 I can bring my karaoke machine. 560 00:24:46,065 --> 00:24:47,932 All right, hey, guys, Halloween party Friday night! 561 00:24:48,535 --> 00:24:50,036 Friday night, Halloween party, okay? Bram's house! 562 00:24:50,103 --> 00:24:51,769 You really set this in motion, man. 563 00:24:51,837 --> 00:24:52,736 I know, right? 564 00:24:52,805 --> 00:24:53,805 - Hey, little guy. - Me? 565 00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:56,607 Halloween party. Friday night. Bram's house. Be there. 566 00:24:56,943 --> 00:24:58,076 You're gonna freak him out, man. 567 00:24:58,143 --> 00:24:58,843 GARRETT: Yeah. 568 00:24:59,112 --> 00:25:00,211 LEAH: I know. He's, like, nine years old. 569 00:25:08,219 --> 00:25:10,654 BLUE: Very relieved that we're in agreement on Oreos. 570 00:25:10,724 --> 00:25:12,824 That would have been a deal-breaker for me. 571 00:25:13,259 --> 00:25:17,295 On a totally different, non-cookie related note... 572 00:25:17,830 --> 00:25:20,263 is it weird that I have no idea what you look like, 573 00:25:20,332 --> 00:25:23,502 but I can't stop thinking about kissing you. 574 00:25:25,271 --> 00:25:27,438 TEACHER: Simon. Simon. 575 00:25:28,774 --> 00:25:30,008 Eyes on your own test. 576 00:25:39,618 --> 00:25:41,351 Don't stop on my account, Rob and Brianne. 577 00:25:41,421 --> 00:25:43,355 That's the most action I've seen in weeks. 578 00:25:43,422 --> 00:25:45,524 What do we got here? Ah! 579 00:25:45,591 --> 00:25:46,723 When we're done, it's gonna look 580 00:25:46,891 --> 00:25:49,761 like a real German sex club. Don't ask me how I know. 581 00:25:51,096 --> 00:25:54,198 Hey! Hey! The spray paint is for painting, 582 00:25:54,267 --> 00:25:55,200 not for huffing. 583 00:25:55,701 --> 00:25:56,900 You don't want to get good at that. 584 00:25:57,402 --> 00:25:58,970 Okay, do you guys think I should dye my hair grey 585 00:25:59,037 --> 00:26:00,504 - to play Fräulein Schneider? - Sure. 586 00:26:01,174 --> 00:26:02,675 TAYLOR: Really? But my hair is kind of like my thing. 587 00:26:02,741 --> 00:26:03,975 I'm gonna go get a soda. 588 00:26:04,542 --> 00:26:05,511 Do you want anything? 589 00:26:05,744 --> 00:26:06,642 No. 590 00:26:06,712 --> 00:26:08,079 MS. ALBRIGHT: You disgust me. 591 00:26:16,588 --> 00:26:18,822 Simon! Hey, hey, hey. 592 00:26:18,892 --> 00:26:20,159 - Hey, Martin. - Buddy. 593 00:26:20,626 --> 00:26:24,028 Hey, um, I used the computer in the library right after you. 594 00:26:24,896 --> 00:26:25,864 - Okay. - Mm-hmm. 595 00:26:26,231 --> 00:26:29,634 Well, I went to Gmail, and it pulled up your account. 596 00:26:29,969 --> 00:26:31,802 And I, uh, read some of your emails. 597 00:26:31,902 --> 00:26:33,036 I know I probably shouldn't've, 598 00:26:33,106 --> 00:26:34,873 but they were, like, right there. (chuckles) 599 00:26:35,142 --> 00:26:37,242 So you'll be interested to know my brother's gay. 600 00:26:40,946 --> 00:26:43,880 No. Martin, that wouldn't interest me to know. 601 00:26:44,315 --> 00:26:46,149 Okay. Don't worry. I won't show anyone. 602 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:48,555 Show anyone what? 603 00:26:51,156 --> 00:26:52,691 Did you print my emails or something? 604 00:26:52,824 --> 00:26:54,892 Oh, no, no. (chuckles) 605 00:26:55,427 --> 00:26:56,860 I screenshot them. 606 00:26:56,961 --> 00:26:59,128 - You screenshotted my emails? - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 607 00:26:59,197 --> 00:27:00,431 Let me talk to you for a second. 608 00:27:01,901 --> 00:27:03,735 - Oh, Ms. Bradley. - MS. BRADLEY: Hello, Martin. 609 00:27:03,802 --> 00:27:05,469 - Did you feather your hair? - No. 610 00:27:06,338 --> 00:27:07,239 MARTIN: Looking good. 611 00:27:08,442 --> 00:27:09,409 This is a good section. 612 00:27:10,777 --> 00:27:11,674 MARTIN: Jeez. 613 00:27:12,278 --> 00:27:14,278 Now, why the hell did you screenshot my emails? 614 00:27:14,681 --> 00:27:17,748 Ah, well, you and Abby Susso are good friends. Right? 615 00:27:17,817 --> 00:27:18,817 Yeah. We know each other. 616 00:27:18,951 --> 00:27:19,884 What does that have to do with anything? 617 00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:22,853 Well, I need you to help me talk with her... 618 00:27:23,288 --> 00:27:25,289 and hang out with her and stuff, you know? 619 00:27:25,525 --> 00:27:27,024 Why would I help you do that? 620 00:27:28,861 --> 00:27:29,994 Are you blackmailing me? 621 00:27:30,062 --> 00:27:32,896 Oh, shh! Okay. Don't be so dramatic here, Simon. 622 00:27:32,966 --> 00:27:33,933 SIMON: Sup, Tyler? 623 00:27:34,199 --> 00:27:36,167 MARTIN: What's up, Tyler? Is that a Patagonia? 624 00:27:36,836 --> 00:27:39,371 Nice. I just like her. 625 00:27:39,673 --> 00:27:42,474 And I think that you could help me. 626 00:27:42,941 --> 00:27:44,775 Yeah, what if I say no, Martin? 627 00:27:44,845 --> 00:27:45,812 I mean, what are you gonna do? 628 00:27:46,012 --> 00:27:47,146 You gonna tell the whole school that I'm... 629 00:27:47,913 --> 00:27:49,047 You're gonna leak my emails? 630 00:27:49,115 --> 00:27:50,815 You're gonna post 'em on CreekSecrets? 631 00:27:50,883 --> 00:27:52,784 I just think that we're in a position here, 632 00:27:53,420 --> 00:27:55,154 where we could help each other out is all. 633 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:57,254 So think about it. 634 00:27:58,290 --> 00:27:59,191 Good talk. 635 00:28:06,865 --> 00:28:08,900 You know, I never thought of a pepper 636 00:28:08,968 --> 00:28:10,067 - as being a vegetable... - (cell phone chimes) 637 00:28:10,135 --> 00:28:11,102 ...but it makes perfect sense. 638 00:28:11,536 --> 00:28:14,706 EMILY: I like the cilantro. A little Mexican flair, huh? 639 00:28:14,939 --> 00:28:16,238 JACK: Very creative, kiddo. 640 00:28:16,742 --> 00:28:18,744 You hate the peppers. Don't you? 641 00:28:19,245 --> 00:28:21,312 No. The peppers are great. 642 00:28:22,715 --> 00:28:24,015 I'm just gonna get some air. 643 00:28:34,827 --> 00:28:37,627 BRAM: Jacques, I have to get something off my chest. 644 00:28:37,963 --> 00:28:39,097 The other day, you asked me 645 00:28:39,165 --> 00:28:40,332 what I was wearing for Halloween 646 00:28:40,399 --> 00:28:42,967 and I said I wasn't dressing up. 647 00:28:43,568 --> 00:28:44,935 I lied. Truth is, 648 00:28:45,004 --> 00:28:46,538 I didn't want you to know what I was wearing 649 00:28:46,605 --> 00:28:49,106 because I don't want you to know who I am. 650 00:28:50,843 --> 00:28:51,776 Right now, these emails, 651 00:28:51,977 --> 00:28:54,078 they feel like this totally safe place. 652 00:28:54,712 --> 00:28:56,912 I'm just not ready for my whole world to change. 653 00:28:57,181 --> 00:28:58,415 I hope you understand. 654 00:28:58,684 --> 00:29:00,519 (indistinct conversation) 655 00:29:06,123 --> 00:29:08,459 SIMON: Yes, Blue. I understand. 656 00:29:24,310 --> 00:29:26,211 (sniffing) 657 00:29:27,113 --> 00:29:28,546 Okay, if you want me to help you with Abby, 658 00:29:28,713 --> 00:29:29,713 you cannot eat that. 659 00:29:30,183 --> 00:29:31,383 So you're gonna help me? 660 00:29:31,817 --> 00:29:32,719 Yeah. 661 00:29:33,618 --> 00:29:35,153 (chuckles) 662 00:29:35,854 --> 00:29:38,655 Simon, that is fantastic news. 663 00:29:38,923 --> 00:29:40,891 I really think that Abby and I are meant to be together. 664 00:29:40,959 --> 00:29:42,192 - Really? Do you? - Mm-hmm. 665 00:29:42,260 --> 00:29:43,527 It's not all about looks, Simon. 666 00:29:43,596 --> 00:29:46,130 Okay. So you're banking on your great, 667 00:29:46,197 --> 00:29:48,231 blackmaily personality to get the job done? 668 00:29:48,301 --> 00:29:50,269 - Where are we going? - Your place. 669 00:29:50,402 --> 00:29:51,736 We're gonna see if you have anything 670 00:29:51,803 --> 00:29:53,237 that doesn't scream, "punch me." 671 00:29:53,406 --> 00:29:55,307 Actually, I've got swim lessons. 672 00:29:55,806 --> 00:29:56,706 Cancel it! 673 00:29:57,378 --> 00:29:59,579 MARTIN: Okay, I just have to call my mom first. 674 00:29:59,645 --> 00:30:02,113 She has to approve everybody that comes in the house. 675 00:30:03,215 --> 00:30:05,150 All right. Here we go. 676 00:30:06,784 --> 00:30:09,253 All right. And here we are. 677 00:30:10,755 --> 00:30:11,821 This is where the magic happens. 678 00:30:11,889 --> 00:30:12,790 Wow. 679 00:30:13,125 --> 00:30:15,626 Ooh. Correction. (chuckles) 680 00:30:16,163 --> 00:30:18,463 This is where the magic happens. 681 00:30:20,031 --> 00:30:21,764 I've been dabbling in close-up illusions. 682 00:30:22,099 --> 00:30:23,099 Does Abby like magic? 683 00:30:23,469 --> 00:30:25,303 No. Martin, I don't think she does like magic. 684 00:30:25,372 --> 00:30:26,805 But, um, there's a really thin line 685 00:30:26,872 --> 00:30:30,106 between laughing with someone, and laughing at someone. 686 00:30:30,576 --> 00:30:31,509 And you are that line. 687 00:30:31,575 --> 00:30:33,076 So, if you want Abby to like you, 688 00:30:33,144 --> 00:30:34,377 what you have to do is you have to 689 00:30:34,447 --> 00:30:35,980 make her see you as more of a... 690 00:30:36,047 --> 00:30:37,415 As sexy Martin! 691 00:30:38,050 --> 00:30:40,318 Yeah! Yeah, I could be sexy. 692 00:30:42,656 --> 00:30:44,222 You like dudes. Tell me. 693 00:30:44,524 --> 00:30:45,990 What part of me do you find the hottest? 694 00:30:46,056 --> 00:30:48,024 - No. I'm not doing this. - No. Come on. 695 00:30:48,092 --> 00:30:49,427 No, Martin. I don't want to answer that. 696 00:30:49,495 --> 00:30:50,928 Look, if you said my shoulders 697 00:30:51,062 --> 00:30:53,465 I would dress to accentuate. You know? 698 00:30:54,001 --> 00:30:55,468 You know what? Here's your first tip. 699 00:30:55,768 --> 00:30:56,468 Ripped. 700 00:30:56,769 --> 00:30:59,771 Girls, they don't want to read your clothes. 701 00:30:59,973 --> 00:31:01,373 I think you're wrong about that one. 702 00:31:02,274 --> 00:31:03,442 How many of these do you have? 703 00:31:04,241 --> 00:31:07,211 Please, just stop! Hey! Stop! 704 00:31:07,579 --> 00:31:10,115 Look, I don't want your help in changing me. 705 00:31:10,816 --> 00:31:14,385 I want your help in getting Abby to like me for me. 706 00:31:16,954 --> 00:31:18,155 Look. Um... 707 00:31:20,026 --> 00:31:22,861 there's a party this Saturday. At Bram's. 708 00:31:25,564 --> 00:31:27,198 Do you want to go with my friends and I? 709 00:31:27,766 --> 00:31:28,667 Yes! 710 00:31:29,069 --> 00:31:31,036 Yes! So simple. 711 00:31:31,735 --> 00:31:33,570 Must be why they call you Simple Simon. 712 00:31:33,839 --> 00:31:35,407 Nobody calls me that, Martin. 713 00:31:36,308 --> 00:31:38,710 Hey, uh, do you want to, like, sleep over? 714 00:31:39,144 --> 00:31:40,245 SIMON: Nope. 715 00:31:50,489 --> 00:31:51,555 Oh, hello. 716 00:31:52,057 --> 00:31:53,256 Hey, what's up? 717 00:31:53,393 --> 00:31:54,794 - Nice, right? - LEAH: Nick. 718 00:31:54,860 --> 00:31:55,560 Good? 719 00:31:55,994 --> 00:31:58,061 This is, like, a new level of laziness, even for you. 720 00:31:58,261 --> 00:32:00,796 What do you mean? I'm Cristiano Ronaldo. 721 00:32:00,865 --> 00:32:01,866 And you couldn't even be bothered 722 00:32:01,934 --> 00:32:03,402 to fill in the letters on the back? 723 00:32:03,835 --> 00:32:05,603 No, come on. Give me that. 724 00:32:06,538 --> 00:32:08,672 - You are a bully. - (laughs) 725 00:32:08,740 --> 00:32:12,141 (In a British accent) Hey. Don't talk about Yoko that way, man. 726 00:32:12,377 --> 00:32:14,712 Because if you do, you're out of the band. 727 00:32:14,980 --> 00:32:16,280 Who are you guys supposed to be? 728 00:32:18,082 --> 00:32:19,381 John Lennon and Yoko Ono. 729 00:32:19,852 --> 00:32:21,919 Oh! I thought she was the girl from The Ring, 730 00:32:22,053 --> 00:32:23,220 and you were Jesus. 731 00:32:23,389 --> 00:32:26,622 Jesus? No. Why would Jesus be wearing a white suit? 732 00:32:26,925 --> 00:32:27,893 I don't know. You tell me. 733 00:32:28,327 --> 00:32:29,827 You're the one who decided to dress up like fancy Jesus. 734 00:32:30,061 --> 00:32:31,294 Oh, my God. Okay. Come here. 735 00:32:31,494 --> 00:32:32,695 - Turn around. - I'm here. 736 00:32:32,764 --> 00:32:33,764 - Turn around. - Okay. 737 00:32:34,434 --> 00:32:35,334 - Okay. - Is it good? 738 00:32:35,399 --> 00:32:36,299 - Way better. - Is it? 739 00:32:36,667 --> 00:32:37,934 Yeah. Now, we need to do something about this hair. 740 00:32:37,970 --> 00:32:39,069 Maybe slick it back? 741 00:32:39,239 --> 00:32:41,173 NICK: It doesn't do that. It doesn't slick back. 742 00:32:41,807 --> 00:32:42,839 Wonder Woman in the hizzy! 743 00:32:42,907 --> 00:32:43,908 NICK: Hi! 744 00:32:44,710 --> 00:32:45,542 I made up a catchphrase, 745 00:32:45,609 --> 00:32:47,310 'cause Wonder Woman doesn't have one. 746 00:32:48,780 --> 00:32:49,681 "Hizzy" means house. 747 00:32:49,914 --> 00:32:50,946 - Yeah. - Yeah. 748 00:32:51,015 --> 00:32:52,216 - Right. Yeah. - Yeah. 749 00:32:52,884 --> 00:32:54,385 Oh, Abby, you look amazing. 750 00:32:54,620 --> 00:32:55,520 Thank you! 751 00:32:56,822 --> 00:32:58,256 Yeah. You look awesome. 752 00:32:59,091 --> 00:33:00,624 I'm gonna go make those frozen pizzas. 753 00:33:01,127 --> 00:33:02,025 NICK: All right. 754 00:33:02,127 --> 00:33:03,428 Yeah, I'll help. 755 00:33:05,163 --> 00:33:06,496 That's a nice costume, for real. 756 00:33:06,565 --> 00:33:09,167 Thank you. What? Cristiano Ronaldo! 757 00:33:09,234 --> 00:33:10,335 Nailed it. 758 00:33:11,070 --> 00:33:12,102 Do you remember when we went to school 759 00:33:12,168 --> 00:33:13,236 dressed as Charlie's Angels? 760 00:33:13,340 --> 00:33:14,572 Oh, my God, yes. 761 00:33:14,707 --> 00:33:16,373 And Nick's balls fell out of his booty shorts 762 00:33:16,441 --> 00:33:18,275 when he, like, dropped down to do the gun pose? 763 00:33:19,512 --> 00:33:21,412 Mm. Do you miss trick-or-treating? 764 00:33:21,546 --> 00:33:22,813 What, you mean instead of, like, 765 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:23,680 going to loud parties 766 00:33:23,749 --> 00:33:25,083 pretending to like the taste of beer 767 00:33:25,149 --> 00:33:26,715 and feeling too self-conscious to dance? 768 00:33:27,318 --> 00:33:28,519 I don't know why you feel self-conscious. 769 00:33:28,619 --> 00:33:31,053 I mean, you are very clearly 770 00:33:31,123 --> 00:33:32,691 the coolest person at our school. 771 00:33:34,027 --> 00:33:36,428 I'm pretty sure you're the only one who feels that way. 772 00:33:37,630 --> 00:33:38,530 But thank you. 773 00:33:41,098 --> 00:33:43,834 (doorbell ringing) 774 00:33:44,268 --> 00:33:45,370 Who's that? 775 00:33:46,138 --> 00:33:47,170 I invited Martin. 776 00:33:47,372 --> 00:33:48,973 - Martin Addison? - (groans) Why? 777 00:33:49,108 --> 00:33:50,708 Is this a Make-A-Wish situation? 778 00:33:50,976 --> 00:33:52,243 (doorbell continues ringing) 779 00:33:52,411 --> 00:33:53,511 No, he's cool. 780 00:33:55,580 --> 00:33:56,679 Hey. 781 00:33:57,815 --> 00:33:59,250 Oh, looking sharp. 782 00:33:59,752 --> 00:34:00,452 What the... 783 00:34:00,752 --> 00:34:02,853 - MARTIN: Guys. - What are you supposed to be? 784 00:34:03,155 --> 00:34:04,388 Isn't it obvious? 785 00:34:05,257 --> 00:34:07,424 Ah! I'm a Freudian slip. 786 00:34:09,494 --> 00:34:11,662 Abby. Wonder Woman. 787 00:34:15,965 --> 00:34:17,299 NICK: Just pick a song already. 788 00:34:17,701 --> 00:34:19,870 Hey, Nick, uh, can you not rush me? 789 00:34:20,005 --> 00:34:21,205 (laughing) 790 00:34:21,705 --> 00:34:23,205 ABBY: Honestly, I can't choose. There's so many. 791 00:34:23,274 --> 00:34:24,174 That's like Netflix. 792 00:34:24,410 --> 00:34:26,277 You know, trying to pick a film on Netflix. 793 00:34:26,579 --> 00:34:29,481 I'm like... (groans) "Am I in an Apatow mood, 794 00:34:29,548 --> 00:34:32,182 or am I in a Billy Wilder mood?" You know? 795 00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:33,985 Ooh, play Drake. Yes. 796 00:34:34,152 --> 00:34:37,287 Uh, no. Drake is, like, super played out at this point. 797 00:34:37,856 --> 00:34:40,159 You can't play out a rap god. Doesn't happen. 798 00:34:40,226 --> 00:34:41,156 Impossible. 799 00:34:41,257 --> 00:34:42,326 First of all, he's not a rap god. 800 00:34:42,529 --> 00:34:44,429 And second of all, I'm looking for some Beyoncé. 801 00:34:44,496 --> 00:34:46,064 - Oh. - I just can't find "Lemonade." 802 00:34:46,131 --> 00:34:47,965 Hey. Here's an interesting question. 803 00:34:48,032 --> 00:34:48,731 I love Beyoncé. 804 00:34:48,867 --> 00:34:50,033 What makes you guys feel nostalgic? 805 00:34:50,100 --> 00:34:51,000 You do? 806 00:34:51,337 --> 00:34:52,603 I mean, I think everybody kinda likes Beyoncé. 807 00:34:53,237 --> 00:34:55,172 Grape soda makes me feel very nostalgic. 808 00:34:55,241 --> 00:34:57,808 - What are you talking about? - What makes you feel nostalgic? 809 00:34:58,343 --> 00:34:59,242 Hey, Abby. 810 00:34:59,611 --> 00:35:01,578 I bet you're gonna have the best costume tonight. 811 00:35:02,313 --> 00:35:04,315 - Thanks. - Nah, you're welcome. 812 00:35:05,152 --> 00:35:06,518 (Martin mocking) 813 00:35:08,118 --> 00:35:09,218 What the hell, Spier? 814 00:35:09,354 --> 00:35:11,821 Hey, why is Nick still flirting with Abby? 815 00:35:12,123 --> 00:35:13,057 SIMON: I don't know, Martin. 816 00:35:13,191 --> 00:35:14,793 Maybe you shouldn't have worn a dress. 817 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:16,759 You look like a drag queen 818 00:35:16,826 --> 00:35:18,562 rolled around in magnetic poetry. 819 00:35:19,397 --> 00:35:21,063 (music playing) 820 00:35:21,132 --> 00:35:22,264 Hey, Abby! 821 00:35:22,534 --> 00:35:24,233 Whenever you need a refill of your drink, 822 00:35:24,369 --> 00:35:25,969 I'll be your designated bartender. 823 00:35:26,136 --> 00:35:27,103 So don't worry. 824 00:35:27,339 --> 00:35:29,540 Okay. Hey, Chloe, come here! 825 00:35:29,774 --> 00:35:31,006 Yo, yo, yo! 826 00:35:31,075 --> 00:35:33,510 Hey. John Lennon? 827 00:35:33,677 --> 00:35:35,178 - Yeah. You got it. - Nice. 828 00:35:35,380 --> 00:35:37,449 And, um, Nick... 829 00:35:38,549 --> 00:35:41,384 - You're Nick. - No. No. I'm Ronaldo. 830 00:35:41,452 --> 00:35:43,287 - Oh. My bad. - Obviously. 831 00:35:43,555 --> 00:35:44,455 Who are you supposed to be? 832 00:35:44,756 --> 00:35:47,891 Oh. Uh... I am post-presidency Barack Obama. 833 00:35:48,025 --> 00:35:50,526 So I'm just chillin' in Hawaii, drinking Mai Tais, 834 00:35:50,595 --> 00:35:52,263 writing memoirs and hoping 835 00:35:52,330 --> 00:35:53,763 Trump doesn't destroy my legacy. 836 00:35:53,832 --> 00:35:56,099 - (both chuckle) - That's awesome. 837 00:35:56,768 --> 00:35:58,836 Thanks. Now let's go to the bar. Come on. 838 00:35:59,237 --> 00:36:00,137 BOTH: Yeah. 839 00:36:00,370 --> 00:36:01,270 Hell yeah. 840 00:36:02,006 --> 00:36:04,308 (rapping) ♪ My name is My sign is ♪ 841 00:36:04,377 --> 00:36:05,776 - No, Garrett, no. - ♪ My number is ♪ 842 00:36:05,909 --> 00:36:08,443 ♪ You need to let it go Need to let it go ♪ 843 00:36:08,579 --> 00:36:09,713 ♪ Need to let it go ♪ 844 00:36:09,782 --> 00:36:12,181 ♪ Nah to the ah to the no, no, no... ♪ 845 00:36:12,685 --> 00:36:14,018 ♪ Whatchu gonna say? ♪ 846 00:36:14,286 --> 00:36:15,918 All right, we should have a little toast. 847 00:36:16,186 --> 00:36:17,087 No, thanks. I'm driving. 848 00:36:17,189 --> 00:36:18,055 And Simon doesn't really drink. 849 00:36:18,122 --> 00:36:19,356 No, I drink. It's cool. I drink. 850 00:36:19,657 --> 00:36:20,990 - All right, that's my man. - NICK: Really? 851 00:36:21,060 --> 00:36:22,025 You wouldn't even have a glass 852 00:36:22,094 --> 00:36:23,293 of Manischewitz at Leah's Seder. 853 00:36:23,362 --> 00:36:25,829 It's Halloween, man. It's a special occasion. 854 00:36:26,430 --> 00:36:27,530 True that. 855 00:36:28,166 --> 00:36:29,066 BOTH: Cheers. 856 00:36:30,003 --> 00:36:30,902 (gagging) 857 00:36:33,337 --> 00:36:34,504 - You okay? - (coughing) 858 00:36:34,672 --> 00:36:38,307 (dance music playing) 859 00:36:38,410 --> 00:36:40,011 You're good at this. You got this. 860 00:36:43,916 --> 00:36:47,817 Abby is the hottest Wonder Woman I have ever seen. 861 00:36:48,087 --> 00:36:48,786 SIMON: Yeah. 862 00:36:49,287 --> 00:36:50,887 The shit that I would let her do to me with that lasso. 863 00:36:50,954 --> 00:36:51,854 Oh, I know, man. 864 00:36:51,923 --> 00:36:54,424 Just, like, tie me up with that thing. 865 00:36:54,626 --> 00:36:56,059 You're not into Abby, are you? 866 00:36:56,294 --> 00:36:57,327 No, no, no. 867 00:36:57,428 --> 00:36:59,763 I mean, it's not like I... She's cute... 868 00:36:59,830 --> 00:37:00,529 Yeah. 869 00:37:00,664 --> 00:37:01,865 ...but she's just not really my type. 870 00:37:03,101 --> 00:37:06,168 Not because she's black. I love black women. 871 00:37:06,504 --> 00:37:08,572 Not like, you know, I have a thing for black women, 872 00:37:08,641 --> 00:37:10,708 I just love all women. 873 00:37:13,178 --> 00:37:14,979 - Oh, oh. Oh! - Oh! 874 00:37:15,213 --> 00:37:18,615 - Oh, hey. - Hey! Oh, hey. 875 00:37:19,284 --> 00:37:21,819 Hey. Mm. 876 00:37:23,455 --> 00:37:25,722 - I'm gonna go ask her out. - What? No. 877 00:37:26,224 --> 00:37:27,257 - No? No? - No. 878 00:37:27,558 --> 00:37:29,192 - You can't ask Abby out. - Why not? 879 00:37:30,027 --> 00:37:34,096 Because. She didn't tell you about Jonathan? 880 00:37:34,366 --> 00:37:35,298 She didn't tell you about that? 881 00:37:35,367 --> 00:37:36,333 - No. - He's older. 882 00:37:36,566 --> 00:37:38,668 - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - In college. 883 00:37:39,036 --> 00:37:40,570 He's really experienced. 884 00:37:43,042 --> 00:37:44,442 You know I've only had sex once, right? 885 00:37:44,509 --> 00:37:45,407 I know that. 886 00:37:45,575 --> 00:37:46,575 You know, it's like no one tells you 887 00:37:46,642 --> 00:37:47,644 how dark everything is 888 00:37:47,912 --> 00:37:50,346 and how slippery everything gets, and, you know, 889 00:37:50,413 --> 00:37:51,448 the parts you think are the right parts 890 00:37:51,515 --> 00:37:52,783 are actually the wrong parts and... 891 00:37:54,585 --> 00:37:56,653 All right, I'm gonna go eat my feelings away. 892 00:37:58,088 --> 00:37:58,788 Man, I'm sorry... 893 00:37:59,057 --> 00:38:00,257 NICK: No, it's okay. Don't worry about it. 894 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:03,861 Whoa, whoa. 895 00:38:08,633 --> 00:38:09,667 - BRAM: Hey, Simon! - Hey. 896 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,200 Hey, you wanna play Beirut? 897 00:38:11,436 --> 00:38:12,468 Yeah. Sure. 898 00:38:12,869 --> 00:38:14,270 We just need two more people. 899 00:38:14,340 --> 00:38:16,807 How about you and me, and then, um... 900 00:38:17,841 --> 00:38:18,740 I insist. 901 00:38:18,977 --> 00:38:19,978 Abby and Martin? 902 00:38:20,746 --> 00:38:21,878 - BRAM: Okay, cool. - SIMON: Hey, Martin. 903 00:38:21,947 --> 00:38:23,146 - MARTIN: Yeah. - SIMON: Abby. 904 00:38:23,481 --> 00:38:24,381 Let's play Beirut. 905 00:38:24,516 --> 00:38:25,915 - No, I don't... - Yeah. Let's do it. 906 00:38:26,051 --> 00:38:28,619 Come on, let's go. It'll be fun. It'll be fun. 907 00:38:28,787 --> 00:38:30,920 Good old competition. (chuckles) 908 00:38:31,387 --> 00:38:32,889 - Ready? - Yeah, I'm ready. 909 00:38:34,126 --> 00:38:35,525 Beirut. Right? 910 00:38:35,593 --> 00:38:36,527 - Yes! - (sighs) 911 00:38:36,727 --> 00:38:38,428 Okay. Have you ever played Beirut before? 912 00:38:38,763 --> 00:38:40,096 Uh, totally. Yeah. 913 00:38:40,664 --> 00:38:43,800 Great. All right, so, two reracks, no blowing 914 00:38:43,869 --> 00:38:44,834 and two balls in the cup means 915 00:38:44,903 --> 00:38:46,135 that you have to take three, okay? 916 00:38:46,237 --> 00:38:47,270 Okay. Cool. 917 00:38:47,739 --> 00:38:49,639 I thought we were talking about a different game. 918 00:38:50,074 --> 00:38:51,205 We'll just explain as we go. Okay? 919 00:38:51,276 --> 00:38:52,176 - Yeah. - Okay. Got it. 920 00:38:52,376 --> 00:38:53,276 SIMON: Ready? 921 00:38:53,412 --> 00:38:55,746 - Maybe you should take these... - Oh. 922 00:38:56,714 --> 00:38:59,181 - You'll see better. Right? - Good idea. Yeah. 923 00:39:00,218 --> 00:39:01,618 - All you. - Raindrop! 924 00:39:01,687 --> 00:39:03,354 MARTIN: Here we go, all right. You got this one. 925 00:39:03,687 --> 00:39:05,186 Oh, is that... This is mine to drink? 926 00:39:07,858 --> 00:39:08,759 God. 927 00:39:09,994 --> 00:39:10,893 Oh! 928 00:39:12,596 --> 00:39:13,497 All right. 929 00:39:13,564 --> 00:39:15,231 ALL: Chug! Chug! Chug! 930 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:17,333 (imitates explosion) 931 00:39:17,434 --> 00:39:19,067 Do we need a handshake? Is that... 932 00:39:19,371 --> 00:39:20,304 You get one of these in 933 00:39:20,404 --> 00:39:21,939 and we can totally have a handshake. 934 00:39:22,607 --> 00:39:23,940 Fly it away. Fly it away. 935 00:39:25,309 --> 00:39:27,043 Chug, chug, chug. 936 00:39:27,378 --> 00:39:28,445 - MARTIN: Sweet! - All right. 937 00:39:28,646 --> 00:39:29,746 (belches) 938 00:39:30,781 --> 00:39:32,148 ♪ As long as you love me ♪ 939 00:39:32,317 --> 00:39:35,685 ♪ We could be starving We could be homeless ♪ 940 00:39:35,753 --> 00:39:37,053 ♪ We could be loved ♪ 941 00:39:37,321 --> 00:39:38,722 ♪ As long as you love me ♪ 942 00:39:39,291 --> 00:39:41,625 (all cheering) 943 00:39:43,962 --> 00:39:46,495 ♪ Why can't I get Just one screw ♪ 944 00:39:46,564 --> 00:39:48,865 ♪ Baby, I know what to do ♪ 945 00:39:48,932 --> 00:39:51,966 ♪ But something won't let me Make love to you ♪ 946 00:39:52,270 --> 00:39:56,272 ♪ Day after day ♪ 947 00:39:56,540 --> 00:40:01,242 ♪ I get angry and I will say ♪ 948 00:40:05,951 --> 00:40:09,921 Hey, Bram. It's me, Jacques. 949 00:40:12,423 --> 00:40:14,659 Hey, Bram. I'm Jacques. 950 00:40:17,361 --> 00:40:21,197 Hey, Barack. It's me, Jacques. 951 00:40:22,733 --> 00:40:24,835 (sighs) Why did I pick Jacques? 952 00:40:26,237 --> 00:40:27,337 BOY: Yeah, no problem. 953 00:40:27,438 --> 00:40:28,705 (girls laughing) 954 00:40:29,308 --> 00:40:34,410 ("Monster Mash" playing) 955 00:40:42,854 --> 00:40:43,753 Oh. 956 00:40:44,622 --> 00:40:46,722 I'm sorry, I thought this was the bathroom. 957 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:49,860 Sorry. 958 00:40:56,367 --> 00:40:58,802 - I'm starting to get so tired! - I am so tired. 959 00:41:02,071 --> 00:41:03,906 Hey, Martin, not now, man. All right? 960 00:41:03,975 --> 00:41:05,075 I've had a big night. 961 00:41:07,278 --> 00:41:08,177 Oh! 962 00:41:08,345 --> 00:41:10,913 Really? Really? 963 00:41:12,150 --> 00:41:13,816 (groans) I'm sorry. 964 00:41:13,884 --> 00:41:15,751 - Come on! - (Martin coughing) 965 00:41:18,557 --> 00:41:20,157 - LEAH: What are you doing? - I don't know. 966 00:41:21,458 --> 00:41:22,358 (Leah sighs) 967 00:41:23,195 --> 00:41:24,595 ♪ Willkommen ♪ 968 00:41:24,663 --> 00:41:27,263 - Are you serious? - ♪ Bienvenue ♪ 969 00:41:27,665 --> 00:41:31,034 ♪ Welcome... ♪ Whoa. Careful. 970 00:41:31,269 --> 00:41:33,137 Okay, come on. We gotta get you home. 971 00:41:37,042 --> 00:41:39,410 - Look, we're so close! - Oh, my God! 972 00:41:39,477 --> 00:41:40,376 Wait, what? 973 00:41:40,610 --> 00:41:43,045 - Dude, my parents are still up. - Oh, God. 974 00:41:43,113 --> 00:41:45,047 - Oh... - Okay, you know what... Come on. 975 00:41:45,982 --> 00:41:47,917 I need you to think of something really sad... 976 00:41:47,984 --> 00:41:48,684 Uh-huh. 977 00:41:48,986 --> 00:41:50,819 Like, the documentary about how all the whales 978 00:41:50,887 --> 00:41:51,988 hate living at SeaWorld. 979 00:41:52,055 --> 00:41:52,756 Too sad! 980 00:41:52,923 --> 00:41:53,989 God. Okay, then just, you know what, 981 00:41:54,057 --> 00:41:54,991 don't say anything at all... 982 00:41:55,259 --> 00:41:57,560 And we'll ditch the barf shirt till tomorrow. 983 00:41:57,629 --> 00:41:58,730 SIMON: Okay. 984 00:41:59,830 --> 00:42:00,829 - LEAH: Si? - SIMON: Yeah. 985 00:42:01,032 --> 00:42:02,832 LEAH: Just as little as possible, 986 00:42:02,901 --> 00:42:04,135 say as little as possible. 987 00:42:05,203 --> 00:42:08,170 (door creaks) 988 00:42:12,843 --> 00:42:14,243 EMILY: So how does that work? 989 00:42:14,312 --> 00:42:16,346 I know, I remember when I went to... 990 00:42:16,681 --> 00:42:17,882 Hey, guys! 991 00:42:18,617 --> 00:42:20,383 - Hey! - Hey! 992 00:42:20,616 --> 00:42:21,750 - Come talk to us. - Hey! 993 00:42:21,884 --> 00:42:23,953 - How was the party? - It was really fun. 994 00:42:24,187 --> 00:42:25,086 - Was it? - Yeah. 995 00:42:25,489 --> 00:42:26,389 Aces. 996 00:42:27,492 --> 00:42:29,861 BOTH: Huh. (chuckling) 997 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,228 Uh, well. Thanks for letting me stay over. 998 00:42:33,297 --> 00:42:34,897 - JACK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. - EMILY: Yeah. 999 00:42:35,164 --> 00:42:36,499 You've been staying over 10 years. 1000 00:42:37,601 --> 00:42:38,735 You don't have to thank us. 1001 00:42:38,802 --> 00:42:40,902 Oh. Yeah, thanks. 1002 00:42:41,571 --> 00:42:43,005 (whispers) Stop. Shh! 1003 00:42:47,044 --> 00:42:48,378 John Lennon was wearing a woman's sweater. 1004 00:42:48,445 --> 00:42:49,812 - Mm. - And he's drunk. 1005 00:42:50,214 --> 00:42:51,781 - Definitely. - So how do we feel about that? 1006 00:42:51,848 --> 00:42:53,583 Well, he didn't drive drunk, 1007 00:42:53,650 --> 00:42:55,283 and he's home before curfew, so... 1008 00:42:55,919 --> 00:42:58,021 Good. That's what I thought we thought. 1009 00:42:58,088 --> 00:42:59,954 Yeah, that's what we think, right? 1010 00:43:00,025 --> 00:43:01,559 - Yeah. We're good parents. - Yeah, we're good parents. 1011 00:43:01,625 --> 00:43:02,525 Right? 1012 00:43:03,427 --> 00:43:05,327 (slow music playing) 1013 00:43:07,531 --> 00:43:08,832 The room stopped spinning. 1014 00:43:19,976 --> 00:43:21,243 Do you ever feel weird? 1015 00:43:23,247 --> 00:43:25,281 - Weird? - Yeah. 1016 00:43:28,453 --> 00:43:30,887 Sometimes I feel like I'm always on the outside. 1017 00:43:34,858 --> 00:43:35,957 What do you mean? 1018 00:43:36,493 --> 00:43:38,196 Like tonight, you know... 1019 00:43:38,764 --> 00:43:40,729 I was at that party, and it was fun, but... 1020 00:43:41,298 --> 00:43:44,067 it kinda felt like I was watching it 1021 00:43:44,133 --> 00:43:45,266 from across the room. 1022 00:43:47,971 --> 00:43:49,572 I don't know, there's this invisible line 1023 00:43:49,641 --> 00:43:50,540 that I have to cross 1024 00:43:50,673 --> 00:43:51,674 to really be a part of everything 1025 00:43:51,741 --> 00:43:53,410 and I just, I can't ever cross it. 1026 00:43:56,012 --> 00:43:57,847 I feel that way sometimes, too. 1027 00:43:58,817 --> 00:43:59,815 Not tonight you didn't. 1028 00:44:00,049 --> 00:44:01,618 Yeah, I was trying something. 1029 00:44:03,087 --> 00:44:04,689 Yeah, sometimes I think it'd be so much easier 1030 00:44:04,756 --> 00:44:07,356 to be one of these people who can just take a few shots 1031 00:44:07,425 --> 00:44:09,392 and then hook up with whoever's closest. 1032 00:44:11,562 --> 00:44:13,130 Yeah, I guess I'm just unlucky. 1033 00:44:13,330 --> 00:44:14,231 Unlucky? 1034 00:44:16,066 --> 00:44:16,967 Why? 1035 00:44:18,035 --> 00:44:20,237 Because I'm not a casual person. 1036 00:44:21,705 --> 00:44:23,908 What kind of person are you? 1037 00:44:28,845 --> 00:44:29,944 I think I'm the kind of person 1038 00:44:30,012 --> 00:44:32,014 who is destined to care so much 1039 00:44:32,081 --> 00:44:34,083 about one person, it nearly kills me. 1040 00:44:39,490 --> 00:44:40,389 Me too. 1041 00:44:48,399 --> 00:44:49,299 It's getting late. 1042 00:45:05,516 --> 00:45:06,416 Si? 1043 00:45:07,484 --> 00:45:08,384 Yeah? 1044 00:45:08,587 --> 00:45:09,487 Good night. 1045 00:45:11,521 --> 00:45:12,421 Good night. 1046 00:45:16,025 --> 00:45:19,928 (slow music continues playing) 1047 00:45:34,444 --> 00:45:35,344 SIMON: Dear Blue, 1048 00:45:36,079 --> 00:45:37,881 so one of my friends likes the other, 1049 00:45:38,481 --> 00:45:41,549 and he has no idea. I guess we all have secrets. 1050 00:45:42,319 --> 00:45:43,686 Anyway, I've been thinking about 1051 00:45:43,754 --> 00:45:45,155 why I haven't come out yet. 1052 00:45:45,990 --> 00:45:47,523 Maybe it's because it doesn't seem fair 1053 00:45:47,590 --> 00:45:49,659 that only gay people have to come out. 1054 00:45:49,726 --> 00:45:51,160 Why is straight the default? 1055 00:45:52,062 --> 00:45:53,329 I have something I need to tell you. 1056 00:45:53,632 --> 00:45:56,332 Mom, there's something I have to tell you. 1057 00:45:56,534 --> 00:45:57,434 Can we talk? 1058 00:45:57,501 --> 00:45:58,435 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 1059 00:45:59,037 --> 00:45:59,935 I'm straight. 1060 00:46:00,002 --> 00:46:00,902 I'm straight. 1061 00:46:01,103 --> 00:46:02,739 I'm sorry, Mom, it's true. 1062 00:46:03,540 --> 00:46:04,439 I like girls. 1063 00:46:04,507 --> 00:46:05,407 (coughing) 1064 00:46:06,910 --> 00:46:07,810 I like men. 1065 00:46:07,945 --> 00:46:09,312 You get that from your daddy's side. 1066 00:46:10,112 --> 00:46:11,647 I'm in love with Nick. 1067 00:46:13,916 --> 00:46:15,616 I feel like I've been raising a stranger. 1068 00:46:15,687 --> 00:46:17,421 Yes, absolutely, you have. 1069 00:46:17,687 --> 00:46:18,720 I'm heterosexual. 1070 00:46:18,857 --> 00:46:21,591 Oh, God. Help me, Jesus. Please. 1071 00:46:21,757 --> 00:46:23,524 SIMON: Or maybe it's because I can't be sure 1072 00:46:23,594 --> 00:46:25,393 this whole "being gay" thing is forever. 1073 00:46:25,462 --> 00:46:27,096 Or maybe it's that there's not that much 1074 00:46:27,163 --> 00:46:28,064 of high school left 1075 00:46:28,232 --> 00:46:29,398 and part of me wants to hold on to 1076 00:46:29,466 --> 00:46:31,766 who I've always been just a little longer. 1077 00:46:32,202 --> 00:46:34,170 And then, when I go to college in Los Angeles, 1078 00:46:34,304 --> 00:46:36,071 I'll be gay and proud, I promise. 1079 00:46:36,172 --> 00:46:38,207 ("I wanna dance with somebody" playing) 1080 00:46:43,648 --> 00:46:44,582 ♪ Woo! ♪ 1081 00:46:47,917 --> 00:46:50,385 ♪ Ooh, yeah, uh-huh ♪ 1082 00:46:52,390 --> 00:46:53,290 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1083 00:46:55,659 --> 00:46:56,358 ♪ I want to dance ♪ 1084 00:46:56,692 --> 00:47:00,194 ♪ Oh! I wanna dance With somebody ♪ 1085 00:47:01,098 --> 00:47:04,234 ♪ I wanna feel the heat With somebody ♪ 1086 00:47:05,001 --> 00:47:08,238 ♪ Yeah! I wanna dance with somebody ♪ 1087 00:47:09,474 --> 00:47:12,274 ♪ With somebody who loves me ♪ 1088 00:47:12,341 --> 00:47:14,209 ♪ Don't you wanna dance Say you wanna dance ♪ 1089 00:47:14,278 --> 00:47:15,512 ♪ Don't you wanna dance ♪ 1090 00:47:18,083 --> 00:47:21,551 ♪ With somebody who loves me ♪ 1091 00:47:21,884 --> 00:47:23,319 ♪ Oh ♪ 1092 00:47:25,988 --> 00:47:28,189 ♪ Oh oh ♪ 1093 00:47:30,060 --> 00:47:31,193 Yeah, maybe not that gay. 1094 00:47:31,460 --> 00:47:32,861 SIMON: I'm not sure who I'm promising. 1095 00:47:33,362 --> 00:47:34,630 I'll keep ruminating. 1096 00:47:35,064 --> 00:47:36,165 Love, Jacques. 1097 00:47:44,675 --> 00:47:46,109 Shit! 1098 00:47:50,514 --> 00:47:52,280 TAYLOR: So, yeah, after swimming with dolphins, 1099 00:47:52,349 --> 00:47:54,450 we fly to Saint Martin for New Year's. 1100 00:47:55,151 --> 00:47:57,153 Anybody else, Christmas in the Caribbean? 1101 00:47:57,787 --> 00:47:58,487 Staying here. 1102 00:47:58,589 --> 00:48:00,488 We have a classic Spier tradition 1103 00:48:00,556 --> 00:48:02,356 of French toast on Christmas Eve. 1104 00:48:02,559 --> 00:48:04,360 I'm going to an unheated vacation house 1105 00:48:04,429 --> 00:48:05,361 in the middle of nowhere. 1106 00:48:05,596 --> 00:48:07,797 As is our bleak family tradition. 1107 00:48:08,165 --> 00:48:10,799 (winces) Ow! Ow! 1108 00:48:12,001 --> 00:48:12,900 Oh, man. Oh. 1109 00:48:12,970 --> 00:48:13,870 You okay? 1110 00:48:13,938 --> 00:48:15,438 Oh, yeah, that's a paper cut. 1111 00:48:16,140 --> 00:48:17,140 Overdramatic. 1112 00:48:17,641 --> 00:48:21,042 Um, Simon, do you know where the bandages are? 1113 00:48:21,510 --> 00:48:23,911 Yeah. They're just in the supply closet. 1114 00:48:24,314 --> 00:48:25,514 Okay, do you mind showing me? 1115 00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:29,618 Be right back. 1116 00:48:30,821 --> 00:48:32,288 He's like a nurse, this man. 1117 00:48:33,758 --> 00:48:35,558 Okay, I don't actually have a paper cut. 1118 00:48:35,659 --> 00:48:37,760 I know that, Martin. You're a very bad actor. 1119 00:48:37,828 --> 00:48:39,595 What, you think this is funny? 1120 00:48:41,231 --> 00:48:43,332 Simon, look, I don't wanna have to 1121 00:48:43,399 --> 00:48:45,232 leak your emails, all right? But I will. 1122 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,169 Look, you cannot bring Blue into this, okay? 1123 00:48:48,237 --> 00:48:49,471 If he found out that my emails got leaked, 1124 00:48:49,541 --> 00:48:51,274 he'd get totally freaked, all right? 1125 00:48:51,341 --> 00:48:52,241 He'd never talk to me again. 1126 00:48:52,310 --> 00:48:53,877 Yeah, probably not, you know? 1127 00:48:54,143 --> 00:48:55,943 The Internet's a freaky place to meet people. 1128 00:48:56,046 --> 00:48:57,514 - Yo. - Hey! 1129 00:48:57,581 --> 00:48:58,280 Hey! 1130 00:48:58,449 --> 00:48:59,714 - Fun movie! Freak. - Freaky Friday. 1131 00:48:59,783 --> 00:49:01,784 - That's a fun movie! - Freaky, freak, freaky. 1132 00:49:01,850 --> 00:49:04,285 - Yeah, freaky-deaky Dutch! - ♪ She's a super freak ♪ 1133 00:49:04,420 --> 00:49:05,787 - BOTH: ♪ Super freak ♪ - You guys are weird. 1134 00:49:06,389 --> 00:49:08,857 I need a Band-Aid. Those programs are a bitch. 1135 00:49:10,859 --> 00:49:13,360 Erm, yo. Martin was having trouble running his lines 1136 00:49:13,429 --> 00:49:14,829 and we were thinking we could go 1137 00:49:14,899 --> 00:49:17,401 to Waffle House and go over 'em. 1138 00:49:18,570 --> 00:49:19,336 - Really? - Yeah. 1139 00:49:19,403 --> 00:49:20,502 That would be great. 1140 00:49:21,036 --> 00:49:22,270 I'm insky. 1141 00:49:24,342 --> 00:49:26,743 - Good work, Spier. - Go to hell, Martin. 1142 00:49:31,882 --> 00:49:32,782 (cell phone chimes) 1143 00:49:35,819 --> 00:49:37,987 BLUE: Jacques, if I were a betting man, 1144 00:49:38,122 --> 00:49:39,388 I'd say you were drunk emailing me 1145 00:49:39,455 --> 00:49:40,387 during that last letter. 1146 00:49:40,557 --> 00:49:42,291 Don't worry. I liked it. 1147 00:49:42,693 --> 00:49:44,494 As for coming out, I know what you mean 1148 00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:45,861 about wanting to wait till college. 1149 00:49:46,029 --> 00:49:47,697 But our emails have inspired me. 1150 00:49:48,265 --> 00:49:50,832 I'm going to tell my family. So thanks, Jacques. 1151 00:49:51,336 --> 00:49:53,237 Love, Blue. 1152 00:50:06,248 --> 00:50:07,714 (indistinct chatter) 1153 00:50:07,918 --> 00:50:08,819 Yeah. 1154 00:50:11,287 --> 00:50:12,387 MARTIN: Hey! 1155 00:50:12,789 --> 00:50:15,224 - Madame. - ABBY: Oh. 1156 00:50:16,994 --> 00:50:18,528 (chuckles) Simon... 1157 00:50:19,562 --> 00:50:21,563 How the thespians rehearse, right? 1158 00:50:21,631 --> 00:50:22,664 LYLE: Hey, guys. 1159 00:50:23,232 --> 00:50:24,165 What can I get you? 1160 00:50:24,499 --> 00:50:27,135 Lyle! You guys know Lyle? We have Latin together. 1161 00:50:27,304 --> 00:50:28,570 ABBY: I don't think so. 1162 00:50:28,905 --> 00:50:29,771 Hi. How's it going? 1163 00:50:29,837 --> 00:50:32,540 Actually, we had Bio together last year? 1164 00:50:32,674 --> 00:50:34,075 - SIMON: Oh, really? - It's Simon, right? 1165 00:50:34,411 --> 00:50:37,246 Yeah. Yeah, sorry, I don't, um... 1166 00:50:37,314 --> 00:50:39,115 It's okay. It was like a big class, 1167 00:50:39,182 --> 00:50:40,649 and I have a good memory for faces. 1168 00:50:42,018 --> 00:50:43,217 What can I get you guys? 1169 00:50:43,353 --> 00:50:45,387 MARTIN: Well, we plan on being here for a while. 1170 00:50:45,622 --> 00:50:48,324 So, we're gonna start off small and go larger. 1171 00:50:48,858 --> 00:50:52,192 Probably get some bacon first, some sausage. I'd say... 1172 00:50:52,962 --> 00:50:56,031 ABBY: "You're right. I'm much too strange and extraordinary. 1173 00:50:56,298 --> 00:50:58,899 Much! And much too distracting!" 1174 00:50:59,236 --> 00:51:00,134 Wow. 1175 00:51:00,904 --> 00:51:02,771 And you never did any acting at your old school? 1176 00:51:03,907 --> 00:51:05,673 No. Can we get back to... 1177 00:51:05,740 --> 00:51:07,407 And yet, you're from D.C., right? 1178 00:51:07,477 --> 00:51:08,978 Yeah. Can you give me my next cue, though? 1179 00:51:09,046 --> 00:51:10,778 MARTIN: So why did you move here? 1180 00:51:11,514 --> 00:51:13,282 Because my parents got divorced 1181 00:51:13,351 --> 00:51:15,183 and my aunt found us an apartment in her building. 1182 00:51:15,350 --> 00:51:16,384 Why'd they get divorced? 1183 00:51:16,685 --> 00:51:17,585 Why does it matter, Martin? 1184 00:51:17,720 --> 00:51:18,955 Are you writing a book about girls 1185 00:51:19,022 --> 00:51:20,322 from a broken home in D.C.? 1186 00:51:21,891 --> 00:51:22,791 So? 1187 00:51:24,293 --> 00:51:26,060 I thought that my dad 1188 00:51:26,129 --> 00:51:28,997 was the greatest person on the planet. 1189 00:51:30,467 --> 00:51:34,302 But it turns out that he's just a sad, tired loser 1190 00:51:34,370 --> 00:51:36,871 who hates his job, drinks way too much beer, 1191 00:51:37,072 --> 00:51:38,206 and cheats on his wife. 1192 00:51:38,607 --> 00:51:41,141 To make up for all the stuff that I just mentioned, so... 1193 00:51:41,311 --> 00:51:42,778 Well, I'm sorry to hear that. 1194 00:51:43,579 --> 00:51:44,279 Yeah. 1195 00:51:44,646 --> 00:51:46,514 You deserve the father that you thought you had. 1196 00:51:49,186 --> 00:51:50,720 You know what, Abby? 1197 00:51:52,388 --> 00:51:54,222 You deserve a goddamn superhero. 1198 00:51:54,925 --> 00:51:57,526 Okay, thank you. Let's get back to the... 1199 00:51:57,759 --> 00:51:58,660 Say it. 1200 00:52:00,095 --> 00:52:00,995 What? 1201 00:52:01,799 --> 00:52:02,965 I wanna hear you say 1202 00:52:03,401 --> 00:52:07,068 "I, Abby Susso, am an incredible young woman 1203 00:52:07,737 --> 00:52:10,438 and deserve a goddamn superhero." 1204 00:52:10,772 --> 00:52:12,841 I'm not gonna say that, Martin. 1205 00:52:13,843 --> 00:52:15,177 Okay. Well, um... 1206 00:52:15,746 --> 00:52:17,546 I won't stop until you say it. 1207 00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:19,380 ABBY: Okay. 1208 00:52:20,415 --> 00:52:21,949 - What are you... - Excuse me. 1209 00:52:22,051 --> 00:52:23,886 - Waffle House patrons! - ABBY: Martin. Martin, stop. 1210 00:52:23,953 --> 00:52:25,285 - Pardon the interruption. - BOTH: Martin. 1211 00:52:25,354 --> 00:52:27,923 I would just like to say that Abby Susso here 1212 00:52:28,158 --> 00:52:29,357 is an incredible young woman. 1213 00:52:29,426 --> 00:52:30,491 Martin, please. 1214 00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,628 And deserves a goddamn superhero. 1215 00:52:32,728 --> 00:52:35,095 - Okay, okay... - That's right. Abby Susso! 1216 00:52:35,531 --> 00:52:37,133 Abby Susso is an incredible young woman! 1217 00:52:37,198 --> 00:52:38,198 ABBY: I'm Abby Susso! 1218 00:52:38,769 --> 00:52:41,035 Incredible young woman, and deserves... 1219 00:52:41,503 --> 00:52:42,837 - A goddamn superhero. - A goddamn superhero. 1220 00:52:42,971 --> 00:52:44,905 - A goddamn superhero! - A goddamn superhero! 1221 00:52:45,207 --> 00:52:46,675 A goddamn superhero! 1222 00:52:53,215 --> 00:52:54,116 Yeah. 1223 00:52:55,051 --> 00:52:56,384 All right. (claps) 1224 00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:58,719 Breakthrough. Yeah. 1225 00:52:59,555 --> 00:53:02,057 Okay, you can all go back to your meals. Thank you. 1226 00:53:02,124 --> 00:53:03,726 Please sit down. Please. 1227 00:53:04,826 --> 00:53:06,995 - (Martin clears throat) - (Abby sighs) 1228 00:53:07,263 --> 00:53:08,164 Well... 1229 00:53:08,732 --> 00:53:11,466 Well, let's get back to... 1230 00:53:12,035 --> 00:53:14,036 - my entrance into your song. - I'm gonna take five. 1231 00:53:15,038 --> 00:53:17,173 MARTIN: "Ah, the Kit Kat Klub proudly presents... 1232 00:53:17,375 --> 00:53:18,275 I'll be right back. 1233 00:53:18,674 --> 00:53:19,673 ...a beautiful woman coming straight from England." 1234 00:53:19,675 --> 00:53:21,977 Sally Bowles, everybody." 1235 00:53:33,256 --> 00:53:34,156 Hey. 1236 00:53:35,757 --> 00:53:38,792 Were you in Bio when they did that identifying leaves test? 1237 00:53:39,028 --> 00:53:41,529 Yes. And Joel Winslow ate that poison ivy. 1238 00:53:41,832 --> 00:53:43,431 Because Doug Fogerty told him it was pot. 1239 00:53:43,634 --> 00:53:45,201 - Right. (laughs) - SIMON: Poor Joel. 1240 00:53:45,767 --> 00:53:47,568 I think he just wants to be liked 'cause... 1241 00:53:48,338 --> 00:53:51,371 you ever notice that he has extra pens in his backpack? 1242 00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:54,341 Like, you know, he's just waiting for the day 1243 00:53:54,410 --> 00:53:56,311 that someone comes up to ask him for a pen? 1244 00:53:56,847 --> 00:54:00,114 And then he can be that guy to give 'em a pen. 1245 00:54:01,384 --> 00:54:02,819 You see everything, don't you, Simon? 1246 00:54:03,219 --> 00:54:04,485 I don't know. 1247 00:54:05,354 --> 00:54:06,855 But Simon means "the one who hears" 1248 00:54:06,957 --> 00:54:09,225 and Spier means "the one who sees" 1249 00:54:09,291 --> 00:54:11,460 so you put that all together 1250 00:54:11,527 --> 00:54:14,494 and pretty sure that means I was just destined 1251 00:54:14,562 --> 00:54:15,963 to be up in everybody's business. 1252 00:54:18,734 --> 00:54:19,733 I've gotta get back inside 1253 00:54:19,802 --> 00:54:21,603 and scrub down some waffle irons. 1254 00:54:22,137 --> 00:54:24,039 - Duty calls. - Indeed. 1255 00:54:25,174 --> 00:54:26,174 I'll see you in there. 1256 00:54:26,975 --> 00:54:27,876 Yeah, I'll see ya. 1257 00:54:34,951 --> 00:54:35,852 (cell phone chimes) 1258 00:54:43,927 --> 00:54:44,826 Hi. 1259 00:54:45,596 --> 00:54:48,264 BLUE: So my dad's flying in tonight for Hanukkah. 1260 00:54:48,598 --> 00:54:49,564 If you are thinking, 1261 00:54:49,798 --> 00:54:51,099 "But Hanukkah isn't for another month!" 1262 00:54:51,166 --> 00:54:52,533 Well, you are correct. 1263 00:54:52,903 --> 00:54:55,103 Welcome to navigating divorced parents. 1264 00:54:55,804 --> 00:54:57,138 Take holidays where you can get them. 1265 00:54:57,340 --> 00:55:00,442 And my dad's staying at the same crappy motel as always. 1266 00:55:00,510 --> 00:55:02,710 We'll do all our horribly awkward traditions. 1267 00:55:03,613 --> 00:55:05,947 We'll light the menorah and I'll silently pray 1268 00:55:06,016 --> 00:55:07,884 that the sprinklers don't go off. 1269 00:55:08,184 --> 00:55:09,718 That's happened twice before. 1270 00:55:11,187 --> 00:55:13,555 Would you believe I'm considering doubling down 1271 00:55:13,723 --> 00:55:15,023 and turning this whole awkward mess 1272 00:55:15,090 --> 00:55:16,791 into a coming out thing? 1273 00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:19,027 Do you think I'm crazy? 1274 00:55:19,995 --> 00:55:21,730 SIMON: No, Blue, I don't think you're crazy. 1275 00:55:22,165 --> 00:55:24,033 I think you're crazy brave. 1276 00:55:38,282 --> 00:55:40,949 ABBY: Honestly, Martin used to annoy the crap out of me. 1277 00:55:41,016 --> 00:55:43,285 But he's actually kind of a cool person. 1278 00:55:45,689 --> 00:55:47,656 I've been meaning to ask you about your parents. 1279 00:55:48,356 --> 00:55:49,590 I just didn't wanna say anything 1280 00:55:49,657 --> 00:55:50,757 when we were actually in the restaurant. 1281 00:55:50,826 --> 00:55:52,693 I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk about it. 1282 00:55:53,061 --> 00:55:55,328 Yeah. No, I don't mention it a lot 1283 00:55:55,665 --> 00:55:58,100 because it kind of messes with my image. 1284 00:55:59,102 --> 00:56:00,235 What kind of image? 1285 00:56:02,103 --> 00:56:04,071 The girl who is excited 1286 00:56:04,140 --> 00:56:06,275 to start a new school senior year. 1287 00:56:06,841 --> 00:56:09,342 Girl whose life didn't just end, 1288 00:56:09,411 --> 00:56:10,512 like, three months ago, 1289 00:56:10,579 --> 00:56:12,981 who's angry and sad all the time. 1290 00:56:15,585 --> 00:56:17,053 Girl who still believes in love. 1291 00:56:17,953 --> 00:56:20,921 Come on. You still believe in love. 1292 00:56:22,057 --> 00:56:22,957 Maybe. 1293 00:56:23,559 --> 00:56:24,926 Have you ever been in love? 1294 00:56:28,697 --> 00:56:29,798 I think so. 1295 00:56:44,478 --> 00:56:45,379 Abby. 1296 00:56:46,583 --> 00:56:47,682 Yeah? 1297 00:56:51,087 --> 00:56:51,988 I'm gay. 1298 00:56:53,957 --> 00:56:54,856 Oh. 1299 00:56:57,659 --> 00:56:59,093 You can't tell anyone though. 1300 00:57:00,297 --> 00:57:01,129 Nobody really knows, 1301 00:57:01,263 --> 00:57:03,297 and I don't really want people to find out. 1302 00:57:03,366 --> 00:57:04,899 I won't. I promise. 1303 00:57:05,235 --> 00:57:06,135 Okay. 1304 00:57:11,473 --> 00:57:12,373 You surprised? 1305 00:57:14,045 --> 00:57:14,944 No. 1306 00:57:16,312 --> 00:57:17,947 - So you knew? - No. 1307 00:57:19,449 --> 00:57:20,715 But you're not surprised? 1308 00:57:21,750 --> 00:57:23,150 Do you want me to be surprised? 1309 00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:25,819 I don't know. 1310 00:57:27,156 --> 00:57:28,057 Okay. 1311 00:57:28,857 --> 00:57:30,025 Well, I love you. 1312 00:57:31,492 --> 00:57:32,393 So... 1313 00:57:41,706 --> 00:57:42,806 Love you, too. 1314 00:57:49,544 --> 00:57:50,445 (sighs in relief) 1315 00:57:50,813 --> 00:57:54,181 - (turn signal beeping) - There's no one behind us. 1316 00:57:54,250 --> 00:57:55,516 You don't have to put your blinker on. 1317 00:57:55,585 --> 00:57:56,952 - Okay, just being safe. - Yeah. 1318 00:58:10,999 --> 00:58:13,868 SIMON: Dear Blue, I hope it goes okay with your dad. 1319 00:58:14,168 --> 00:58:16,670 Whatever happens, you inspired me. 1320 00:58:17,038 --> 00:58:18,839 I came out to my friend tonight. 1321 00:58:18,942 --> 00:58:20,841 And I never would have done that without you. 1322 00:58:20,977 --> 00:58:22,877 Maybe we should ride this bravery train 1323 00:58:22,979 --> 00:58:24,479 and reveal our identities. 1324 00:58:24,981 --> 00:58:27,483 I'm dying to know who you are. Love, Jacques. 1325 00:58:33,957 --> 00:58:35,222 (cell phone vibrating) 1326 00:58:38,394 --> 00:58:40,361 BLUE: I told my dad. 1327 00:58:41,230 --> 00:58:44,932 It was insanely awkward. But also, kind of fine. 1328 00:58:45,834 --> 00:58:47,468 And you got it backwards. 1329 00:58:47,936 --> 00:58:49,803 It's you who inspires me. 1330 00:58:51,641 --> 00:58:52,840 But I'm sorry, 1331 00:58:53,442 --> 00:58:56,109 I'm just not ready for us to know each other's identities. 1332 00:58:56,278 --> 00:58:57,412 Love, Blue. 1333 00:58:59,780 --> 00:59:01,849 (hums the Jaws theme) 1334 00:59:01,918 --> 00:59:04,585 - Hey! What are you doing? - (growls) I'm a fry shark! 1335 00:59:04,785 --> 00:59:06,287 - Yeah! - (laughs) 1336 00:59:08,323 --> 00:59:10,357 - MARTIN: That is good. - ABBY: You're a good fry shark. 1337 00:59:10,425 --> 00:59:11,826 - MARTIN: Thank you, thank you. - ABBY: I like that. 1338 00:59:11,893 --> 00:59:13,093 I didn't even know you were coming near. 1339 00:59:13,161 --> 00:59:14,060 MARTIN: You know what day it is? 1340 00:59:14,361 --> 00:59:15,762 - ABBY: What day is it? - MARTIN: Must be Friday! 1341 00:59:15,830 --> 00:59:16,730 BOTH: Oh! 1342 00:59:17,167 --> 00:59:18,834 I guess I'm being loved, right? Right? 1343 00:59:19,034 --> 00:59:19,733 Yeah. 1344 00:59:20,369 --> 00:59:22,304 Hey, what do you get when you get black and Jewish? 1345 00:59:22,438 --> 00:59:23,338 - What? - Bluish. 1346 00:59:23,905 --> 00:59:25,006 ABBY: That's mean. 1347 00:59:25,073 --> 00:59:25,772 Simon? 1348 00:59:26,140 --> 00:59:28,776 Since when does Abby find Martin so goddamn funny? 1349 00:59:29,543 --> 00:59:30,511 Yeah, it's crazy. 1350 00:59:30,847 --> 00:59:32,080 NICK: You know, this is stupid. 1351 00:59:32,213 --> 00:59:33,880 I'm just gonna tell her that I like her. 1352 00:59:33,947 --> 00:59:34,848 And I've been thinking 1353 00:59:34,949 --> 00:59:35,982 the whole sexual experience thing, 1354 00:59:36,049 --> 00:59:37,185 it's not that big of a deal. 1355 00:59:37,286 --> 00:59:38,687 And, actually, I've been practicing, right? 1356 00:59:38,754 --> 00:59:39,787 I got this thing online. 1357 00:59:39,990 --> 00:59:40,955 It's really cool. It's called a pocket puss... 1358 00:59:41,024 --> 00:59:42,124 Abby likes Martin. 1359 00:59:43,325 --> 00:59:44,324 She told me herself. 1360 00:59:44,759 --> 00:59:46,927 - (scoffs) But he's Martin. - I know. 1361 00:59:48,598 --> 00:59:49,497 NICK: Look, I don't care. 1362 00:59:49,598 --> 00:59:50,865 - I'm gonna try. - Hey, wait, wait. 1363 00:59:50,932 --> 00:59:52,199 What about Leah? 1364 00:59:52,935 --> 00:59:54,168 What about Leah? 1365 00:59:54,871 --> 00:59:55,971 SIMON: Dude. 1366 00:59:58,141 --> 01:00:00,274 - Leah's in love with you. - No, she's not. 1367 01:00:00,575 --> 01:00:01,509 Are you kidding me? 1368 01:00:01,643 --> 01:00:03,109 I mean, come on. The way she looks at you 1369 01:00:03,180 --> 01:00:05,814 and how she's been all jealous ever since Abby's been around? 1370 01:00:05,882 --> 01:00:08,550 And she blushes every time you come into the room. 1371 01:00:10,085 --> 01:00:11,586 Look, you and Abby... 1372 01:00:12,690 --> 01:00:13,923 it's never gonna happen. 1373 01:00:14,490 --> 01:00:15,756 But you and Leah... 1374 01:00:16,459 --> 01:00:18,327 I mean, you could be incredible together. 1375 01:00:29,170 --> 01:00:30,337 - LEAH: Hey. - What's up? 1376 01:00:32,308 --> 01:00:34,108 So I have something to tell you. 1377 01:00:36,011 --> 01:00:37,513 Nick just asked me to get dinner 1378 01:00:37,579 --> 01:00:38,580 before the homecoming game. 1379 01:00:40,215 --> 01:00:41,116 Okay. 1380 01:00:41,782 --> 01:00:43,950 No, like, Si, he was like... 1381 01:00:44,185 --> 01:00:45,352 He came up to me and he's like, 1382 01:00:45,687 --> 01:00:46,688 "Do you wanna go get dinner?" 1383 01:00:46,921 --> 01:00:47,821 All right, and I was like, 1384 01:00:48,124 --> 01:00:49,423 "Sure, are Abby and Simon in?" And he was like 1385 01:00:49,691 --> 01:00:52,961 "I was thinking it could just be the two of us. Like, a date." 1386 01:00:53,995 --> 01:00:55,095 That's amazing. 1387 01:00:56,431 --> 01:00:57,332 It is? 1388 01:00:58,835 --> 01:00:59,934 Yeah. 1389 01:01:00,769 --> 01:01:02,035 Leah, come on. 1390 01:01:05,107 --> 01:01:06,341 I know you're into him. 1391 01:01:06,542 --> 01:01:07,442 (scoffs) What? 1392 01:01:08,011 --> 01:01:09,209 All that stuff that you were talking 1393 01:01:09,276 --> 01:01:10,811 about the night after Bram's party, 1394 01:01:10,878 --> 01:01:13,613 about, you know, being so into one person 1395 01:01:13,682 --> 01:01:15,014 that it almost kills you. 1396 01:01:16,685 --> 01:01:17,986 You were talking about Nick. 1397 01:01:20,488 --> 01:01:21,388 Uh... 1398 01:01:22,156 --> 01:01:24,291 So you think I should go out with him? 1399 01:01:25,295 --> 01:01:27,029 Yes. Yes. 1400 01:01:29,231 --> 01:01:30,131 Okay. 1401 01:01:31,598 --> 01:01:32,299 - SIMON: Yeah? - LEAH: Yeah! 1402 01:01:32,702 --> 01:01:34,101 SIMON: I promise you, you're not gonna regret it. 1403 01:01:34,168 --> 01:01:35,269 It's gonna be great! 1404 01:01:35,971 --> 01:01:37,505 (all cheering) 1405 01:01:38,906 --> 01:01:41,675 Let's pull out your claws, Grizzlies! 1406 01:01:42,279 --> 01:01:45,546 Oh! (laughs) 1407 01:01:50,085 --> 01:01:53,387 Simon, that Almont QB is insanely hot. 1408 01:01:53,921 --> 01:01:55,722 We can talk about stuff like this now, you know. 1409 01:01:55,789 --> 01:01:57,256 Yeah, I still don't know 1410 01:01:57,325 --> 01:01:58,693 if I really quite figured out how. 1411 01:02:00,663 --> 01:02:02,798 - Seriously? - Yeah. 1412 01:02:02,864 --> 01:02:05,798 We gotta practice. All right. Simon. 1413 01:02:06,033 --> 01:02:07,033 - Yeah? - Do you think 1414 01:02:07,336 --> 01:02:12,105 that quarterback is lookin' fine in those hot pants? 1415 01:02:13,543 --> 01:02:14,609 He's lookin' pretty fine. 1416 01:02:16,812 --> 01:02:18,980 No. No. No. 1417 01:02:19,414 --> 01:02:23,051 Fine! Good. Put your body into it. 1418 01:02:23,519 --> 01:02:24,817 Fine! (grunts) 1419 01:02:25,187 --> 01:02:26,121 That was really good. 1420 01:02:26,187 --> 01:02:27,288 - That was so good. - Thanks. 1421 01:02:27,656 --> 01:02:29,623 Hey, check it out. It's the Waffle House guy. 1422 01:02:31,693 --> 01:02:32,592 SIMON: Oh, yeah. 1423 01:02:33,595 --> 01:02:34,495 Whoa. 1424 01:02:35,763 --> 01:02:38,131 - Lyle? - I don't know. Could be. 1425 01:02:38,201 --> 01:02:39,967 - I don't know. - Do you think he's... 1426 01:02:40,035 --> 01:02:41,235 I don't know. 1427 01:02:42,204 --> 01:02:43,537 Okay, well, you should talk to him. 1428 01:02:43,606 --> 01:02:44,605 I'm gonna go get a coffee. 1429 01:02:44,672 --> 01:02:46,239 Look, you are fine! 1430 01:02:46,574 --> 01:02:47,576 (mouthing) You got this. 1431 01:02:48,478 --> 01:02:49,377 Hi. 1432 01:02:50,945 --> 01:02:53,380 Hey. If it isn't my favorite waiter. 1433 01:02:53,582 --> 01:02:56,616 Ah, there he is. The guy who sees everything. 1434 01:02:56,886 --> 01:02:57,853 - Yeah. - (chuckles) 1435 01:02:58,286 --> 01:03:00,086 Hey, I wouldn't have taken you for a homecoming guy. 1436 01:03:00,187 --> 01:03:01,454 Oh, just here for the coffee. 1437 01:03:01,790 --> 01:03:04,123 Of course. Yeah, it's all about the cappuccinos 1438 01:03:04,192 --> 01:03:05,693 and camaraderie for this guy. 1439 01:03:07,027 --> 01:03:09,095 - (clears throat) - (laughs) 1440 01:03:11,866 --> 01:03:12,767 I'm glad you're here. 1441 01:03:13,969 --> 01:03:15,068 You are? 1442 01:03:15,737 --> 01:03:16,637 Yeah. 1443 01:03:17,438 --> 01:03:19,338 'Cause I wanted to ask you something. 1444 01:03:21,042 --> 01:03:22,176 I was gonna ask you the other day 1445 01:03:22,245 --> 01:03:24,711 and then I was, like, too chickenshit. 1446 01:03:27,014 --> 01:03:28,248 What's Abby's deal? 1447 01:03:30,351 --> 01:03:31,884 I know you and her hang out a lot. 1448 01:03:31,953 --> 01:03:33,787 Are the two of you like a thing, or... 1449 01:03:34,789 --> 01:03:35,689 No. 1450 01:03:36,224 --> 01:03:38,124 No, uh, we're just friends. 1451 01:03:38,461 --> 01:03:40,228 I could never be just friends with someone that hot. 1452 01:03:40,295 --> 01:03:40,994 Yeah! 1453 01:03:41,161 --> 01:03:42,397 Every day is a struggle. 1454 01:03:44,196 --> 01:03:46,733 (sighs) I gotta go. I'll see ya. 1455 01:03:50,737 --> 01:03:52,472 MASCOT: Hey! You! 1456 01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:55,740 Little birdie told me you're into bears! 1457 01:03:55,944 --> 01:03:57,279 (growls) 1458 01:03:57,745 --> 01:03:58,645 (mascot laughs) 1459 01:03:59,148 --> 01:04:00,515 Dude! It's me! 1460 01:04:00,949 --> 01:04:02,050 (grunts) 1461 01:04:02,617 --> 01:04:04,217 I'm the Creekwood bear. 1462 01:04:04,988 --> 01:04:05,986 Of course, you are. 1463 01:04:06,055 --> 01:04:07,154 Thank you. 1464 01:04:07,589 --> 01:04:08,390 Not a compliment. 1465 01:04:08,591 --> 01:04:10,757 Hey, um... I figured out my next move with Abby. 1466 01:04:11,124 --> 01:04:12,626 Great, that's good for you, Martin. 1467 01:04:13,362 --> 01:04:15,462 I just wanted to run it by you real quick. 1468 01:04:15,631 --> 01:04:16,964 No, Martin, look. 1469 01:04:17,466 --> 01:04:18,565 I've been helping you for weeks 1470 01:04:18,634 --> 01:04:20,133 and I am sick and tired of helping you 1471 01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:21,167 mess with my friends' lives. 1472 01:04:21,236 --> 01:04:22,302 So why don't you just do that shit 1473 01:04:22,370 --> 01:04:23,670 that you did at Waffle House? 1474 01:04:24,139 --> 01:04:25,038 That went great. 1475 01:04:25,572 --> 01:04:27,107 So you're saying I should go for it? 1476 01:04:27,375 --> 01:04:28,408 It's kind of a big gesture. 1477 01:04:28,476 --> 01:04:30,845 Go big or go home! Right, Martin? 1478 01:04:31,780 --> 01:04:32,847 Go big or go home. 1479 01:04:33,082 --> 01:04:35,450 I like that. Thanks for the pep talk, man! 1480 01:04:36,250 --> 01:04:37,417 Gotta get amped up. 1481 01:04:38,119 --> 01:04:39,886 (grunts) Come on! 1482 01:04:40,222 --> 01:04:41,356 (cheerleaders whooping) 1483 01:04:41,524 --> 01:04:42,924 (marching band playing "Bad Romance") 1484 01:04:43,024 --> 01:04:45,125 (players yelling) 1485 01:04:46,193 --> 01:04:47,360 MR. WORTH: We're gonna take ya! 1486 01:04:47,663 --> 01:04:49,428 (singing to "Bad Romance") ♪ Claw, claw, claw, claw, claw ♪ 1487 01:04:49,497 --> 01:04:51,299 ♪ Claw, claw, claw, Claw, claw ♪ 1488 01:04:56,572 --> 01:04:57,470 AARON: Ethan! 1489 01:04:58,173 --> 01:04:59,707 I didn't know you like football. 1490 01:05:00,109 --> 01:05:01,875 He's just here to check out the packages. 1491 01:05:01,942 --> 01:05:03,075 Didn't your mother ever tell you 1492 01:05:03,143 --> 01:05:05,278 not to grab your micropenis in public? 1493 01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,015 Could we get some hummus for that baby carrot? 1494 01:05:08,217 --> 01:05:09,616 - (laughs) - Shut up, man. 1495 01:05:14,289 --> 01:05:16,457 - SIMON: Hey, guys. - What's up? Hey. 1496 01:05:19,860 --> 01:05:21,695 - How was dinner? - It was good. 1497 01:05:22,297 --> 01:05:24,629 Yeah, uh, we got soup dumplings. 1498 01:05:25,265 --> 01:05:27,367 That dumpling place I told you about? 1499 01:05:28,104 --> 01:05:29,003 Yeah. 1500 01:05:29,235 --> 01:05:31,137 You know, maybe you could go with Martin. 1501 01:05:32,942 --> 01:05:34,208 Why would I go with Martin? 1502 01:05:34,910 --> 01:05:38,145 ANNOUNCER: Please stand for the national anthem. 1503 01:05:42,182 --> 01:05:44,283 This goes out to all the refugees. 1504 01:05:45,053 --> 01:05:47,255 And my vocal coach, Monica Lewis. 1505 01:05:47,756 --> 01:05:48,655 MAN: Yeah! 1506 01:05:49,691 --> 01:05:54,726 ♪ O say can you see ♪ 1507 01:05:55,163 --> 01:06:00,599 ♪ By the dawn's early light ♪ 1508 01:06:01,035 --> 01:06:02,836 ♪ What so proud... ♪ 1509 01:06:03,405 --> 01:06:04,739 What the hell are you doing? 1510 01:06:06,507 --> 01:06:07,340 Sorry. Hi. 1511 01:06:07,744 --> 01:06:09,676 Hi, everyone. Uh, sorry to interrupt. 1512 01:06:09,743 --> 01:06:11,444 Why are we interrupting the national anthem? 1513 01:06:11,513 --> 01:06:12,946 MARTIN: But I have something to say... 1514 01:06:13,581 --> 01:06:15,916 that's a little more important than the national anthem. 1515 01:06:16,918 --> 01:06:18,286 No offense, America. 1516 01:06:20,287 --> 01:06:23,223 Abigail Katherine Susso... 1517 01:06:23,757 --> 01:06:26,058 when you transferred to Creekwood High School, 1518 01:06:26,494 --> 01:06:28,696 just a short three and a half months ago, 1519 01:06:29,830 --> 01:06:32,131 you not only transferred into a new school, 1520 01:06:32,533 --> 01:06:35,534 you transferred your way into a new heart 1521 01:06:36,204 --> 01:06:38,938 belonging to me. My heart. Right here. 1522 01:06:39,574 --> 01:06:42,609 And whether it was being your partner in pong, 1523 01:06:43,045 --> 01:06:44,712 or your Waffle House warrior, 1524 01:06:45,747 --> 01:06:46,914 I have cherished... 1525 01:06:47,381 --> 01:06:52,551 the 135,300 minutes that we've spent together. 1526 01:06:53,121 --> 01:06:54,287 Oh, I'm sorry. 1527 01:06:54,890 --> 01:06:58,958 135,301 minutes. 1528 01:06:59,393 --> 01:07:02,395 And I know that you're this smart, talented 1529 01:07:03,232 --> 01:07:04,598 perfect creature. 1530 01:07:05,466 --> 01:07:10,835 And, uh, I'm just a sweaty schlub in a bear costume. 1531 01:07:11,572 --> 01:07:13,442 But like old Bogie used to say, 1532 01:07:14,341 --> 01:07:15,842 it's a "crazy mixed-up world." 1533 01:07:17,145 --> 01:07:18,247 So, Abby, 1534 01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:19,947 without further ado... 1535 01:07:22,217 --> 01:07:23,451 will you go out with me? 1536 01:07:24,886 --> 01:07:26,987 She's too hot for you, assface! 1537 01:07:28,089 --> 01:07:30,357 Excuse me. Sorry. 1538 01:07:33,327 --> 01:07:34,993 Just say yes. Say yes. 1539 01:07:35,163 --> 01:07:36,264 ABBY: Martin... 1540 01:07:37,232 --> 01:07:38,999 I am so sorry. 1541 01:07:40,066 --> 01:07:41,869 I don't feel that way about you. 1542 01:07:43,871 --> 01:07:44,839 You don't? 1543 01:07:46,775 --> 01:07:47,675 No. 1544 01:07:48,177 --> 01:07:49,643 But I really like hanging out with you 1545 01:07:49,711 --> 01:07:53,913 and I don't know, maybe we could still be friends, you know? 1546 01:07:54,382 --> 01:07:55,549 Yeah, uh... 1547 01:07:57,320 --> 01:07:58,619 Are those doves? 1548 01:08:02,223 --> 01:08:03,721 (crowd gasps) 1549 01:08:03,990 --> 01:08:05,659 No, no, hey, hey! Suraj! 1550 01:08:05,827 --> 01:08:08,428 Hey! No, no! She said no! No, don't. 1551 01:08:09,230 --> 01:08:11,364 (crowd laughing) 1552 01:08:16,671 --> 01:08:18,339 Yo, I thought you said she liked him. 1553 01:08:18,871 --> 01:08:23,276 Not the ceremonious dove launch I was hoping for. 1554 01:08:23,578 --> 01:08:26,614 But still uplifting to free some birds. 1555 01:08:27,015 --> 01:08:27,914 Yeah. 1556 01:08:28,748 --> 01:08:29,648 Okay, uh... 1557 01:08:31,086 --> 01:08:32,053 Enjoy the game. 1558 01:08:34,188 --> 01:08:36,222 Nice try, Martin! And way to go, Martin! 1559 01:08:36,291 --> 01:08:38,424 You gave it a shot! Right? 1560 01:08:38,759 --> 01:08:40,393 (all cheering) 1561 01:08:49,537 --> 01:08:50,738 That was terrible. 1562 01:08:51,605 --> 01:08:53,906 Don't worry, people will get over it in a few weeks. 1563 01:08:59,546 --> 01:09:00,647 (glass shattering) 1564 01:09:03,052 --> 01:09:03,984 (bear growls) 1565 01:09:14,694 --> 01:09:15,929 MARTIN (imitating Trump): This is Donald J. Trump. 1566 01:09:16,032 --> 01:09:18,232 Martin Addison can't come to the phone right now. 1567 01:09:18,299 --> 01:09:20,832 Hey, Martin, it's Simon. Again. 1568 01:09:21,001 --> 01:09:24,404 Um, look, I wanna make sure you're doing all right. 1569 01:09:24,472 --> 01:09:26,206 I know it's been tough since, uh... 1570 01:09:27,108 --> 01:09:30,142 Well, you know since when. Um, listen. Just... 1571 01:09:31,278 --> 01:09:32,378 Just give me a call back, okay? 1572 01:09:32,580 --> 01:09:33,980 I just wanna make sure you're okay. 1573 01:09:35,083 --> 01:09:36,083 - (knocking on window) - (yelps) 1574 01:09:36,251 --> 01:09:39,051 Hey! What you doin' in there? 1575 01:09:39,219 --> 01:09:40,119 Really? 1576 01:09:40,687 --> 01:09:42,421 I need you to help me decorate. Untangle these for me, will ya? 1577 01:09:42,425 --> 01:09:43,724 This is not cool. I'll be down in a minute, okay? 1578 01:09:43,825 --> 01:09:45,726 - What's not cool? - I'll be down in a minute. 1579 01:09:45,794 --> 01:09:48,028 The fact that you're on a ladder next to my room! 1580 01:09:48,095 --> 01:09:49,329 I can still clearly see you. 1581 01:09:49,829 --> 01:09:53,865 All right, there you go. Okay. Merry Christmas. 1582 01:09:54,401 --> 01:09:55,502 (computer chimes) 1583 01:09:59,840 --> 01:10:00,539 BLUE: Jacques, 1584 01:10:00,608 --> 01:10:01,809 I'm drinking eggnog and packing 1585 01:10:01,876 --> 01:10:03,409 to go to my dad's cabin on Lake Rabun. 1586 01:10:03,609 --> 01:10:04,576 I'm pretty sure there's a photo of it 1587 01:10:04,879 --> 01:10:07,548 on the Wikipedia page for "middle of nowhere." 1588 01:10:07,916 --> 01:10:09,115 Middle of nowhere. 1589 01:10:09,784 --> 01:10:11,451 I'm going to an unheated vacation house 1590 01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:12,788 in the middle of nowhere. 1591 01:10:14,055 --> 01:10:15,289 Oh, shit. 1592 01:10:15,757 --> 01:10:17,190 BLUE: There's barely electricity 1593 01:10:17,257 --> 01:10:18,456 and definitely no cell service 1594 01:10:18,525 --> 01:10:20,993 so this will be my last email for a while. 1595 01:10:21,494 --> 01:10:23,229 It should be a real rite of passage. 1596 01:10:23,397 --> 01:10:25,029 A dad and his gay son pretending they like 1597 01:10:25,099 --> 01:10:27,367 to fish and trying to find things to talk about. 1598 01:10:27,669 --> 01:10:28,969 It's gonna to be an excruciating two weeks 1599 01:10:29,036 --> 01:10:31,237 without you, Jacques. Love, Blue. 1600 01:10:31,638 --> 01:10:33,039 SIMON: Sounds like you're gonna need some good music. 1601 01:10:33,107 --> 01:10:35,341 So I'm sending a list of the seven best 1602 01:10:35,409 --> 01:10:37,243 Christmas songs of all time. 1603 01:10:37,545 --> 01:10:39,113 Of course it includes David Bowie's 1604 01:10:39,179 --> 01:10:39,912 "Little Drummer Boy," 1605 01:10:40,114 --> 01:10:41,615 and Smokey Robinson & The Miracles' 1606 01:10:41,681 --> 01:10:42,749 "Christmas Everyday," 1607 01:10:42,917 --> 01:10:44,483 but the number one song you're gonna need, 1608 01:10:44,551 --> 01:10:45,920 and trust me, I know this sounds 1609 01:10:45,987 --> 01:10:46,987 a little bit twee... 1610 01:10:47,523 --> 01:10:48,921 ("Someday at Christmas" playing) 1611 01:10:48,988 --> 01:10:53,258 ♪ Someday at Christmas Men won't be boys ♪ 1612 01:10:53,661 --> 01:10:57,731 ♪ Playing with bombs Like kids play with toys ♪ 1613 01:10:57,999 --> 01:11:01,367 ♪ One warm December Our hearts will see ♪ 1614 01:11:01,703 --> 01:11:06,139 ♪ A world where men are free Ooh ♪ 1615 01:11:06,208 --> 01:11:10,576 ♪ Someday at Christmas There'll be no wars ♪ 1616 01:11:10,879 --> 01:11:14,848 ♪ When we have learned What Christmas is for ♪ 1617 01:11:15,116 --> 01:11:18,551 ♪ When we have found What life's really worth ♪ 1618 01:11:18,886 --> 01:11:22,254 ♪ There'll be peace on Earth ♪ 1619 01:11:23,156 --> 01:11:27,626 ♪ Someday all our dreams Will come to be ♪ 1620 01:11:27,863 --> 01:11:31,699 ♪ Someday in a world Where men are free ♪ 1621 01:11:32,167 --> 01:11:35,735 ♪ Maybe not in time For you and me ♪ 1622 01:11:35,869 --> 01:11:39,971 ♪ But someday At Christmas time ♪ 1623 01:11:40,674 --> 01:11:44,542 ♪ Someday at Christmas We'll see a land... ♪ 1624 01:11:44,610 --> 01:11:47,546 (cell phone ringing) 1625 01:11:50,284 --> 01:11:52,051 - Si, have you seen it? - Hey. 1626 01:11:52,586 --> 01:11:53,685 Seen what? 1627 01:11:54,153 --> 01:11:55,053 CreekSecrets. 1628 01:11:55,957 --> 01:11:57,858 You need to look at your computer right away. 1629 01:12:00,829 --> 01:12:02,730 MARTIN: Dear fellow Creekwood students, 1630 01:12:02,897 --> 01:12:05,531 Simon Spier has a secret male pen pal. 1631 01:12:05,601 --> 01:12:06,767 Because he's gay. 1632 01:12:07,134 --> 01:12:09,502 Interested parties may contact him directly 1633 01:12:09,569 --> 01:12:11,505 to discuss arrangements for butt sex. 1634 01:12:11,806 --> 01:12:13,639 Ladies need not apply. 1635 01:12:14,141 --> 01:12:16,175 We should all probably be talking about this 1636 01:12:16,243 --> 01:12:18,477 instead of Martin Addison's homecoming debacle 1637 01:12:18,879 --> 01:12:20,647 which was actually kind of sweet, 1638 01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:22,881 and romantic, if you think about it. 1639 01:12:23,383 --> 01:12:25,285 Sincerely, Anonymous. 1640 01:12:31,726 --> 01:12:34,194 LEAH: Si, have you read it? 1641 01:12:34,528 --> 01:12:35,594 SIMON: I can't talk right now. 1642 01:12:35,762 --> 01:12:37,297 - LEAH: No. Si, wait! - I gotta go. 1643 01:12:38,365 --> 01:12:39,264 Si? 1644 01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:40,700 I saw it. 1645 01:12:41,368 --> 01:12:44,169 I already reported it. They're gonna take it down. 1646 01:12:44,371 --> 01:12:45,605 It's too late. No, there's people 1647 01:12:45,673 --> 01:12:47,040 who've already seen it, so... 1648 01:12:47,440 --> 01:12:48,339 it doesn't really matter. 1649 01:12:50,512 --> 01:12:51,613 It's true. 1650 01:12:54,881 --> 01:12:55,782 I'm gay. 1651 01:12:56,515 --> 01:12:57,616 Oh... 1652 01:12:58,185 --> 01:12:59,586 So what are you gonna do? 1653 01:13:00,654 --> 01:13:01,755 I don't know. 1654 01:13:02,255 --> 01:13:03,221 You could deny it. 1655 01:13:04,025 --> 01:13:05,759 Why the hell would I deny it, Nora? 1656 01:13:05,826 --> 01:13:07,327 I'm not ashamed of it. 1657 01:13:07,562 --> 01:13:09,829 You've just never really said anything. 1658 01:13:09,963 --> 01:13:10,663 So what? 1659 01:13:10,897 --> 01:13:11,964 What does that have to do with anything? 1660 01:13:12,033 --> 01:13:13,465 What the hell are you talking about? 1661 01:13:13,533 --> 01:13:14,834 (sobbing) Sorry. 1662 01:13:20,939 --> 01:13:22,040 SIMON: I know you're going off the grid 1663 01:13:22,109 --> 01:13:23,575 and you won't see this until you're back, 1664 01:13:23,643 --> 01:13:24,643 but something's happened. 1665 01:13:25,179 --> 01:13:26,880 You're gonna find out who I am. 1666 01:13:27,314 --> 01:13:28,815 And someone posted our emails. 1667 01:13:28,982 --> 01:13:31,617 Please don't freak out. Please, Blue. 1668 01:13:31,953 --> 01:13:34,119 I need you to promise me you won't disappear. 1669 01:13:36,190 --> 01:13:37,357 (computer chiming) 1670 01:13:42,063 --> 01:13:43,696 - (cell phone vibrating) - (exhales) 1671 01:14:09,924 --> 01:14:11,090 NORA: Mum, let me open my present. 1672 01:14:11,457 --> 01:14:14,092 EMILY: Honey, I'm trying to tell you you need to shave. 1673 01:14:14,928 --> 01:14:16,328 JACK: Does that mean you're gonna keep cooking? 1674 01:14:16,397 --> 01:14:18,464 NORA: Yeah, of course. I can make dinner tonight, too. 1675 01:14:18,531 --> 01:14:19,463 - JACK: Awesome. - What's this for? 1676 01:14:19,531 --> 01:14:20,432 Oh! 1677 01:14:20,868 --> 01:14:22,803 This one, Sherlock. There you go. 1678 01:14:28,207 --> 01:14:29,207 NORA: What is it? 1679 01:14:30,611 --> 01:14:31,912 Bluetooth headphones. 1680 01:14:31,979 --> 01:14:33,646 - Do you like the black? - Oh, I love it. 1681 01:14:33,981 --> 01:14:35,280 EMILY: Because I didn't know if you liked... 1682 01:14:35,349 --> 01:14:36,049 This is great. 1683 01:14:36,351 --> 01:14:37,451 - They have other colors. - He said he likes it. 1684 01:14:37,818 --> 01:14:39,016 - SIMON: No, I love it. - Okay. I have the receipt. 1685 01:14:39,018 --> 01:14:39,886 He's good. 1686 01:14:46,394 --> 01:14:49,796 Actually, I did want to talk to you guys about something. 1687 01:14:51,096 --> 01:14:51,997 What is it? 1688 01:14:54,100 --> 01:14:55,201 Uh, well... 1689 01:14:55,301 --> 01:14:56,202 JACK: Let me guess... 1690 01:14:57,972 --> 01:14:59,237 you got somebody pregnant. 1691 01:15:00,606 --> 01:15:01,506 No, you're pregnant. 1692 01:15:01,977 --> 01:15:04,544 - Yeah. Yeah, I'm pregnant. - JACK: (chuckles) I knew it. 1693 01:15:04,610 --> 01:15:05,644 He's got that glow about him, baby. 1694 01:15:05,713 --> 01:15:06,612 EMILY: Honey. 1695 01:15:06,680 --> 01:15:07,815 No. Uh... 1696 01:15:14,054 --> 01:15:14,953 I'm gay. 1697 01:15:17,258 --> 01:15:18,156 Honey. 1698 01:15:21,062 --> 01:15:23,296 And I don't want you guys to think anything different. 1699 01:15:24,263 --> 01:15:25,163 I'm still me. 1700 01:15:25,231 --> 01:15:26,231 Of course you are. 1701 01:15:26,299 --> 01:15:27,801 - Oh, Simon. - Yeah. 1702 01:15:28,703 --> 01:15:29,602 So you're gay? 1703 01:15:30,471 --> 01:15:32,172 Which one of your old girlfriends turned ya? 1704 01:15:32,239 --> 01:15:34,038 Was it the one with the big eyebrow... 1705 01:15:34,108 --> 01:15:35,175 - Jack. - NORA: Jesus Christ. 1706 01:15:35,242 --> 01:15:36,742 Dad, can you ever shut the hell up? 1707 01:15:36,810 --> 01:15:37,710 I'm kidding. 1708 01:15:37,845 --> 01:15:39,011 - It's not funny. - I'm kidding, Nora. 1709 01:15:39,080 --> 01:15:41,014 Just open up your gift. Please. 1710 01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:47,521 EMILY: It's okay, honey. 1711 01:15:47,589 --> 01:15:48,855 - Nora, I got you this. - NORA: Simon. 1712 01:15:48,922 --> 01:15:50,322 That's for you. No, that's for you. 1713 01:15:50,390 --> 01:15:51,289 That's from me. 1714 01:15:56,764 --> 01:15:57,898 It's a Cuisinart. 1715 01:15:59,064 --> 01:16:00,933 I love it. Thank you, Simon. 1716 01:16:04,737 --> 01:16:07,406 SIMON: Dear Blue, happy New Year. 1717 01:16:07,608 --> 01:16:08,775 I haven't heard from you, 1718 01:16:09,008 --> 01:16:11,344 so I'm going to assume it's because you have no service. 1719 01:16:11,945 --> 01:16:14,212 I came out to my entire family on Christmas. 1720 01:16:14,715 --> 01:16:15,649 It didn't go great. 1721 01:16:15,983 --> 01:16:17,115 And I've been avoiding my friends 1722 01:16:17,182 --> 01:16:20,085 the whole break for all sorts of reasons. 1723 01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:22,054 Change is exhausting. 1724 01:16:22,422 --> 01:16:23,789 I feel like there's nowhere to hide 1725 01:16:23,857 --> 01:16:25,890 from all the newness of everything. 1726 01:16:26,360 --> 01:16:27,561 Except here. With you. 1727 01:16:28,328 --> 01:16:29,262 Please write to me. 1728 01:16:29,797 --> 01:16:32,098 As soon as you get even one bar of service. 1729 01:16:33,300 --> 01:16:34,267 Breakfast burrito? 1730 01:16:35,302 --> 01:16:36,202 Thanks. 1731 01:16:36,369 --> 01:16:37,336 EMILY: Hey, Si. 1732 01:16:39,608 --> 01:16:40,574 Come sit down. 1733 01:16:43,343 --> 01:16:44,242 I'm gonna be late. 1734 01:17:00,161 --> 01:17:01,127 (sighs) 1735 01:17:16,276 --> 01:17:17,176 Hey, guys. 1736 01:17:17,710 --> 01:17:18,977 Hey, Simon, we need to talk. 1737 01:17:19,913 --> 01:17:22,582 So Abby and I hung out on New Year's Eve, and... 1738 01:17:23,850 --> 01:17:24,750 you see, now we're together. 1739 01:17:24,985 --> 01:17:26,920 That's awesome. That's great. 1740 01:17:26,988 --> 01:17:27,886 NICK: Yeah, it is. 1741 01:17:28,688 --> 01:17:31,022 But then we got to talking about why it took so long. 1742 01:17:31,992 --> 01:17:33,092 ABBY: Why did you tell Nick that I have 1743 01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:34,693 a boyfriend in college named Jonathan? 1744 01:17:34,762 --> 01:17:36,396 - Why'd you make that up? - Look, Martin... 1745 01:17:36,830 --> 01:17:37,964 he was the one who wrote 1746 01:17:38,030 --> 01:17:39,597 that CreekSecrets post about me. 1747 01:17:40,033 --> 01:17:41,566 He screenshotted my emails 1748 01:17:41,668 --> 01:17:44,636 and he's been using them to blackmail me for months. 1749 01:17:45,172 --> 01:17:47,140 What does that have to do with us, Simon? 1750 01:17:47,974 --> 01:17:49,074 He told me that if I didn't help him 1751 01:17:49,139 --> 01:17:51,276 get with Abby, he'd out me. 1752 01:17:54,246 --> 01:17:55,146 And I... 1753 01:17:56,015 --> 01:17:57,650 That's why I had to keep you guys apart. 1754 01:17:57,718 --> 01:17:59,252 So you made up a bunch of lies. 1755 01:18:00,855 --> 01:18:01,788 And that's why you convinced me 1756 01:18:01,856 --> 01:18:02,821 to go on that date with Leah? 1757 01:18:03,323 --> 01:18:04,757 You know, to keep me away from Abby? 1758 01:18:04,926 --> 01:18:06,927 So, wait. Running lines at Waffle House 1759 01:18:06,993 --> 01:18:08,693 and beer pong at Bram's, 1760 01:18:08,862 --> 01:18:11,195 all of that was just to pawn me off on Martin? 1761 01:18:11,864 --> 01:18:13,531 I'm not a piece of meat, Simon. 1762 01:18:14,334 --> 01:18:16,434 You know how hard it was for me to start over. 1763 01:18:18,705 --> 01:18:19,972 I trusted you. 1764 01:18:20,508 --> 01:18:21,575 (sighs) 1765 01:18:24,211 --> 01:18:25,979 Hey, come on, Leah. I'll take you to school. 1766 01:18:32,118 --> 01:18:34,886 Leah. Leah, please. Listen, listen. 1767 01:18:35,020 --> 01:18:36,287 I know I messed up, okay? 1768 01:18:36,357 --> 01:18:37,790 But I knew you were in love with Nick. 1769 01:18:37,858 --> 01:18:39,625 - And I thought that maybe... - Just stop it! 1770 01:18:40,594 --> 01:18:42,428 You know what? You are insanely stupid, Simon. 1771 01:18:42,496 --> 01:18:45,697 I was never in love with Nick. I was in love with you! 1772 01:18:47,401 --> 01:18:48,301 (gasps) 1773 01:18:49,269 --> 01:18:50,168 Look... 1774 01:18:51,437 --> 01:18:53,205 We're... We're us. 1775 01:18:53,406 --> 01:18:54,506 Yeah, well... 1776 01:18:55,009 --> 01:18:57,010 (sighs) Sorry. 1777 01:18:59,277 --> 01:19:00,946 I've been trying to tell you. 1778 01:19:02,383 --> 01:19:06,384 That night I slept over, I was trying to tell you. 1779 01:19:09,021 --> 01:19:10,789 You wanna know the funniest part? 1780 01:19:11,592 --> 01:19:13,959 It's that all these years, you being so picky with girls, 1781 01:19:14,025 --> 01:19:16,094 I thought that maybe it was 1782 01:19:16,162 --> 01:19:18,295 because you might like me, too. 1783 01:19:18,898 --> 01:19:20,265 And then, you know, you told me 1784 01:19:20,332 --> 01:19:21,232 I should go out with Nick 1785 01:19:21,734 --> 01:19:23,468 and I realized you were just never gonna see me that way. 1786 01:19:24,870 --> 01:19:27,138 I can deal with you being gay, Si. 1787 01:19:27,940 --> 01:19:29,475 But you set me up to get my heart broken 1788 01:19:29,543 --> 01:19:30,976 when you thought I was in love with Nick 1789 01:19:31,044 --> 01:19:32,578 and that just makes you cruel. 1790 01:19:38,417 --> 01:19:41,019 - (car engine starts) - (Simon sighs) 1791 01:19:46,993 --> 01:19:50,562 (students murmuring) 1792 01:20:02,609 --> 01:20:03,508 You all right? 1793 01:20:03,778 --> 01:20:04,678 Hanging in there. 1794 01:20:05,246 --> 01:20:07,214 Uh, for the record, 1795 01:20:07,281 --> 01:20:09,882 when I was saying that we have a lot in common, you know, 1796 01:20:09,950 --> 01:20:12,219 I wasn't really... That's not what I was talking about. 1797 01:20:12,685 --> 01:20:13,584 Gotcha. 1798 01:20:14,088 --> 01:20:15,288 Just FYI, just for the record. 1799 01:20:15,355 --> 01:20:16,757 - SIMON: Okay, great. Thanks. - All right. 1800 01:20:27,533 --> 01:20:28,767 Hey, Jackie. 1801 01:20:29,001 --> 01:20:29,968 Did you date me 1802 01:20:30,070 --> 01:20:31,504 because you think I look like a guy? 1803 01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:34,440 No. No, I actually broke up with you 1804 01:20:34,507 --> 01:20:36,241 because you don't look like a guy. 1805 01:20:36,642 --> 01:20:39,811 Oh. Oh, okay. Thanks. 1806 01:20:40,480 --> 01:20:41,380 Welcome. 1807 01:20:53,326 --> 01:20:54,293 (sighs) 1808 01:20:54,460 --> 01:20:56,429 (rap music playing on phone) 1809 01:20:56,595 --> 01:20:58,128 Yeah! Hey, Creekwood! 1810 01:21:00,633 --> 01:21:02,200 This one's for you, Spier. 1811 01:21:03,802 --> 01:21:04,836 Hey, Ethan. 1812 01:21:05,671 --> 01:21:06,806 - Oh, yeah! - Oh, yeah. 1813 01:21:11,010 --> 01:21:12,543 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 1814 01:21:12,613 --> 01:21:14,647 You like that, don't you, Spier? 1815 01:21:15,883 --> 01:21:18,750 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah, Ethan, Simon likey. 1816 01:21:18,984 --> 01:21:21,719 (Aaron and Spencer moaning) 1817 01:21:23,222 --> 01:21:24,589 You have something you wanna say to me? 1818 01:21:26,293 --> 01:21:27,759 I said do you have something to say to me? 1819 01:21:27,827 --> 01:21:28,994 (turns off music) 1820 01:21:29,061 --> 01:21:30,795 - I'll take it from here. - Hey, Ms. Albright. 1821 01:21:31,029 --> 01:21:32,197 Don't "Hey, Ms. Albright" me. 1822 01:21:32,265 --> 01:21:33,430 We're not friends. You're not gonna 1823 01:21:33,500 --> 01:21:35,068 braid my hair or paint my nails. 1824 01:21:35,135 --> 01:21:36,702 Get your ass off the table now! 1825 01:21:36,871 --> 01:21:39,171 You sweaty, hormonal virgins. 1826 01:21:39,504 --> 01:21:41,507 You know what? You're about to be suspended for so long, 1827 01:21:41,776 --> 01:21:43,375 that by the time it's over, you're gonna be 1828 01:21:43,476 --> 01:21:45,844 the fat, bald, unhappily married 1829 01:21:45,913 --> 01:21:49,213 wildly mediocre nobodies you're destined to become. 1830 01:21:49,282 --> 01:21:50,748 You can't talk to us like that. 1831 01:21:50,984 --> 01:21:52,450 Actually, I can, 'cause I just did. 1832 01:21:52,618 --> 01:21:54,318 And you know why? Because you're just those two 1833 01:21:54,388 --> 01:21:55,755 assholes that did that shitty thing 1834 01:21:55,854 --> 01:21:58,555 in front of the whole school. And guess what? 1835 01:21:58,924 --> 01:22:02,059 Nobody feels sorry for those assholes, especially me. 1836 01:22:02,594 --> 01:22:04,896 Now, walk. Mr. Worth's office now. 1837 01:22:04,963 --> 01:22:05,864 Bye. 1838 01:22:06,834 --> 01:22:08,033 Uh-uh. That's mine now. 1839 01:22:08,468 --> 01:22:10,803 I'mma sell it. Get my tubes tied. 1840 01:22:11,372 --> 01:22:13,806 (scattered laughter and chatter) 1841 01:22:24,316 --> 01:22:26,517 (inaudible conversation) 1842 01:22:27,286 --> 01:22:29,521 Why does Mr. Worth have to talk to us? 1843 01:22:30,455 --> 01:22:32,257 I mean, can't we just let this shit go? 1844 01:22:35,863 --> 01:22:37,230 Hey, I'm sorry, Ethan. 1845 01:22:39,466 --> 01:22:41,934 None of this ever happened when just you were out. 1846 01:22:43,634 --> 01:22:45,503 You know what they say, one gay's a snooze, 1847 01:22:45,572 --> 01:22:47,406 two's a hilarious hate crime. 1848 01:22:52,578 --> 01:22:54,480 You could've told me you were gay. 1849 01:22:56,849 --> 01:22:58,549 I guess I didn't think we had very much in common. 1850 01:22:58,685 --> 01:23:00,686 (scoffs) You're telling me, Simon. 1851 01:23:00,753 --> 01:23:02,553 It's not like your all-hoodie wardrobe 1852 01:23:02,621 --> 01:23:03,722 rocks my world. 1853 01:23:04,057 --> 01:23:05,256 (Simon chuckles) 1854 01:23:10,129 --> 01:23:11,230 I don't know. 1855 01:23:11,866 --> 01:23:13,199 Maybe I was jealous. 1856 01:23:14,301 --> 01:23:15,767 You've been out since you were 16. 1857 01:23:18,270 --> 01:23:20,005 It always seemed so easy for you. 1858 01:23:20,239 --> 01:23:21,340 Easy? 1859 01:23:22,074 --> 01:23:23,308 Are you kidding me? 1860 01:23:26,046 --> 01:23:27,912 My mom still tells my grandparents 1861 01:23:27,979 --> 01:23:29,280 about all the girls I'm dating 1862 01:23:29,381 --> 01:23:32,351 when we go over to their house for dinner, every Sunday. 1863 01:23:33,253 --> 01:23:35,652 She says it's 'cause they're old and religious, 1864 01:23:36,155 --> 01:23:37,655 and it's just easier that way. 1865 01:23:39,159 --> 01:23:40,525 I don't know, maybe that's true. 1866 01:23:41,526 --> 01:23:44,394 But you should hear her voice when she talks about the girls. 1867 01:23:50,001 --> 01:23:51,769 All right, boys, come on in. 1868 01:23:52,839 --> 01:23:53,739 Come on. 1869 01:23:55,174 --> 01:23:56,574 All right, just stand right here. 1870 01:23:56,843 --> 01:23:57,742 (speaks French) 1871 01:23:59,177 --> 01:24:00,278 Get up. 1872 01:24:03,614 --> 01:24:05,015 Okay, these gentlemen have something 1873 01:24:05,085 --> 01:24:06,217 that they would like to say to you. 1874 01:24:06,586 --> 01:24:08,252 - We're sorry. - Our bad. 1875 01:24:08,486 --> 01:24:10,287 That's right. 'Cause at Creekwood High, 1876 01:24:10,355 --> 01:24:11,290 what do we believe in? 1877 01:24:11,392 --> 01:24:12,291 BOTH: Tolerance. 1878 01:24:12,624 --> 01:24:14,759 And "tolerance" means we respect 1879 01:24:14,826 --> 01:24:16,593 Simon and Ethan's choice to be boyfriends. 1880 01:24:16,662 --> 01:24:18,362 - We are not boyfriends. - Yeah. No. 1881 01:24:18,664 --> 01:24:20,265 Hey, whatever you wanna call it, 1882 01:24:20,333 --> 01:24:21,433 it's fine with me. Seriously. 1883 01:24:21,534 --> 01:24:23,601 We call it "two people 1884 01:24:23,671 --> 01:24:25,437 that are not at all romantically involved." 1885 01:24:25,506 --> 01:24:26,940 Yeah, I get it. Keepin' it casual, man. 1886 01:24:27,006 --> 01:24:28,339 I can dig, seriously. 1887 01:24:30,143 --> 01:24:32,943 Oh. Simon. Hey, can we talk? 1888 01:24:33,545 --> 01:24:34,579 I don't have anything to say to you. 1889 01:24:34,647 --> 01:24:36,381 Please, please. I just wanted to say 1890 01:24:36,447 --> 01:24:37,348 that I was sorry, okay? 1891 01:24:37,416 --> 01:24:39,183 I didn't know or think 1892 01:24:39,251 --> 01:24:40,451 that people still did shit like that. 1893 01:24:40,585 --> 01:24:42,154 And I got in a lot of shit for Homecoming, 1894 01:24:42,223 --> 01:24:44,656 and I wanted everyone to focus on something else, you know? 1895 01:24:44,723 --> 01:24:46,290 I just didn't think it was gonna be a big thing. 1896 01:24:46,491 --> 01:24:48,192 I don't care if you didn't think that my coming out 1897 01:24:48,261 --> 01:24:49,795 was gonna be a big thing, Martin. 1898 01:24:51,131 --> 01:24:52,298 Look, you don't get to decide that. 1899 01:24:52,697 --> 01:24:55,066 I'm supposed to be the one that decides when 1900 01:24:55,134 --> 01:24:56,835 and where, and how and who knows 1901 01:24:56,903 --> 01:24:57,736 and how I get to say it. 1902 01:24:57,804 --> 01:24:59,338 That's supposed to be my thing! 1903 01:24:59,437 --> 01:25:01,039 And you took that away from me. 1904 01:25:02,209 --> 01:25:04,910 So, well, can you please just get the fuck away from me? 1905 01:25:14,184 --> 01:25:15,085 (sighs) 1906 01:25:27,967 --> 01:25:28,866 (computer chimes) 1907 01:25:36,909 --> 01:25:39,978 BLUE: I saw the posts. I know who you are. 1908 01:25:40,979 --> 01:25:41,679 Jacques a Dit. 1909 01:25:41,983 --> 01:25:44,050 That's what they call Simon Says in France. 1910 01:25:44,416 --> 01:25:45,383 Very clever. 1911 01:25:45,852 --> 01:25:48,419 I'm sorry, Simon. I can't do this anymore. 1912 01:25:48,487 --> 01:25:50,321 - SIMON: Please, Blue. - BLUE: I'm so sorry. 1913 01:25:50,624 --> 01:25:53,425 SIMON: You can't leave me alone. Everything's falling apart. 1914 01:25:55,962 --> 01:25:57,362 (takes deep breath) 1915 01:26:23,423 --> 01:26:24,756 (sobbing) 1916 01:26:45,577 --> 01:26:46,644 I mean, I haven't even talked to her. 1917 01:26:46,712 --> 01:26:48,080 I haven't even seen her at school. 1918 01:26:50,415 --> 01:26:52,283 Anyway, I guess I'll see you in class, right? 1919 01:26:52,348 --> 01:26:53,548 - GIRL: Yeah, totally. - CAL: Okay. 1920 01:26:53,752 --> 01:26:54,652 Later. 1921 01:26:55,923 --> 01:26:57,756 - Hey. - Hey, Simon. 1922 01:27:00,360 --> 01:27:01,461 Is it you? 1923 01:27:03,496 --> 01:27:04,596 Are you Blue? 1924 01:27:05,463 --> 01:27:08,832 No. No, it's not me. Sorry. 1925 01:27:12,338 --> 01:27:13,972 I know you've had a crazy couple days. 1926 01:27:14,040 --> 01:27:15,041 You wanna talk about it? 1927 01:27:15,275 --> 01:27:17,374 No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. 1928 01:27:17,708 --> 01:27:19,643 - No, don't worry. - Sorry for bothering you. 1929 01:27:39,331 --> 01:27:40,499 [door closes] 1930 01:28:00,853 --> 01:28:01,753 Did you know? 1931 01:28:07,359 --> 01:28:09,060 I knew you had a secret. 1932 01:28:14,134 --> 01:28:16,870 I mean, when you were little, you were so carefree. 1933 01:28:18,137 --> 01:28:22,572 But these last few years, more and more... 1934 01:28:24,042 --> 01:28:26,843 it's almost like I could feel you holding your breath. 1935 01:28:34,586 --> 01:28:36,522 I wanted to ask you about it, but I... 1936 01:28:37,421 --> 01:28:39,055 didn't wanna pry. 1937 01:28:42,094 --> 01:28:45,796 - Maybe I made a mistake. - No. No, Mom, you... 1938 01:28:47,565 --> 01:28:48,932 You didn't make a mistake. 1939 01:28:53,337 --> 01:28:55,372 EMILY: Being gay is your thing. 1940 01:28:56,173 --> 01:28:59,276 There are parts of it you have to go through alone. 1941 01:28:59,880 --> 01:29:00,880 I hate that. 1942 01:29:02,147 --> 01:29:05,182 As soon as you came out, you said, "Mom, I'm still me." 1943 01:29:09,120 --> 01:29:10,556 I need you to hear this. 1944 01:29:12,691 --> 01:29:15,260 You are still you, Simon. 1945 01:29:17,596 --> 01:29:22,363 And you are still the same son who I love to tease, 1946 01:29:23,267 --> 01:29:26,871 and who your father depends on for just about everything. 1947 01:29:27,539 --> 01:29:28,839 And you're the same brother 1948 01:29:29,139 --> 01:29:32,108 who always compliments his sister on her food, 1949 01:29:32,177 --> 01:29:34,111 even when it sucks. 1950 01:29:37,749 --> 01:29:40,118 But you get to exhale now, Simon. 1951 01:29:42,087 --> 01:29:45,656 You get to be more you than you have been... 1952 01:29:47,759 --> 01:29:49,660 in a very long time. 1953 01:29:56,869 --> 01:29:58,903 You deserve everything you want. 1954 01:30:13,617 --> 01:30:14,718 My boy. 1955 01:30:31,536 --> 01:30:33,136 Hey, Leah. 1956 01:30:33,470 --> 01:30:34,437 - Hey. - What's up? 1957 01:30:34,873 --> 01:30:35,973 What are you doing? 1958 01:30:36,744 --> 01:30:38,276 Just going for a run, you know. 1959 01:30:39,177 --> 01:30:41,412 - Daily ritual. - Yeah, you've never done that. 1960 01:30:42,346 --> 01:30:43,246 Have too. 1961 01:30:43,748 --> 01:30:45,117 But you're wearing jeans. 1962 01:30:46,685 --> 01:30:47,617 They're my running jeans. 1963 01:30:47,685 --> 01:30:49,418 Simon, you're about to pass out. 1964 01:30:50,221 --> 01:30:52,122 (panting) Okay, fine. I'm not going for a run. 1965 01:30:53,392 --> 01:30:55,093 Hey, Leah. Please, listen. 1966 01:30:55,161 --> 01:30:56,261 Look, I know, okay? 1967 01:30:56,330 --> 01:30:57,896 You didn't want anyone to know you're gay. 1968 01:30:57,963 --> 01:30:59,364 No, that wasn't just it. 1969 01:31:02,901 --> 01:31:04,270 I fell in love with someone. 1970 01:31:05,805 --> 01:31:07,238 That guy in the emails... 1971 01:31:09,241 --> 01:31:10,141 I love him. 1972 01:31:11,211 --> 01:31:13,611 And I knew that if Martin leaked our emails, 1973 01:31:13,678 --> 01:31:14,879 it'd scare him off. 1974 01:31:16,116 --> 01:31:17,015 I'm sorry. 1975 01:31:19,785 --> 01:31:21,285 I know what I did was messed up. 1976 01:31:25,223 --> 01:31:26,123 You're my best friend. 1977 01:31:26,557 --> 01:31:27,457 If I'm your best friend, 1978 01:31:27,792 --> 01:31:29,192 then why did you come out to Abby and not me? 1979 01:31:32,264 --> 01:31:33,163 Think it was easier. 1980 01:31:35,001 --> 01:31:36,636 I've known Abby for six months, 1981 01:31:37,201 --> 01:31:40,271 and I've known you for 13 years. 1982 01:31:42,606 --> 01:31:43,807 And I knew that if I told you, 1983 01:31:43,875 --> 01:31:45,877 that everything was gonna be different. 1984 01:31:47,812 --> 01:31:49,914 I really wanted things to stay the same. 1985 01:31:54,519 --> 01:31:56,153 Tell me about this guy you love. 1986 01:32:00,292 --> 01:32:01,759 - You sure? - Yeah. 1987 01:32:02,361 --> 01:32:04,562 It'll help me kill off Hetero Simon in my mind. 1988 01:32:05,196 --> 01:32:07,763 - You don't have to kill him off. - He's dead, Si. 1989 01:32:08,133 --> 01:32:10,302 Hacking him up with a mental machete as we speak. 1990 01:32:11,503 --> 01:32:12,601 (chuckles) 1991 01:32:12,970 --> 01:32:15,005 All right. Fair enough. 1992 01:32:17,841 --> 01:32:19,042 So, I call him Blue. 1993 01:32:29,620 --> 01:32:30,855 Hey, Si. 1994 01:32:33,025 --> 01:32:33,925 Yeah? 1995 01:32:39,430 --> 01:32:40,396 (sighs) 1996 01:32:44,669 --> 01:32:45,870 How long have you known? 1997 01:32:48,139 --> 01:32:51,976 Like, I really started to get it when I was around... 1998 01:32:54,245 --> 01:32:55,145 thirteen? 1999 01:32:55,446 --> 01:32:57,113 Four years? Four years of... 2000 01:32:58,916 --> 01:32:59,883 eating dinner together, 2001 01:33:00,052 --> 01:33:01,487 four years of going to movies together. 2002 01:33:01,622 --> 01:33:04,389 Four years of walking Bieber together. 2003 01:33:06,794 --> 01:33:07,893 I'm sorry. 2004 01:33:08,760 --> 01:33:10,094 I shouldn't have missed it. 2005 01:33:10,463 --> 01:33:12,263 No. Hey, no, Dad. 2006 01:33:12,396 --> 01:33:13,563 All those stupid jokes... 2007 01:33:14,633 --> 01:33:15,632 Well, I know you didn't mean 'em. 2008 01:33:15,869 --> 01:33:17,302 It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have missed it. 2009 01:33:21,472 --> 01:33:22,371 But... 2010 01:33:22,907 --> 01:33:25,176 in case the message got lost somewhere I just... 2011 01:33:26,845 --> 01:33:28,879 I just want you to know that I love you. 2012 01:33:30,982 --> 01:33:32,415 (crying) And I'm really proud of you. 2013 01:33:33,919 --> 01:33:36,087 I wouldn't change anything about you. 2014 01:33:39,225 --> 01:33:40,424 Hey. Shit, Dad. 2015 01:33:43,426 --> 01:33:44,327 Hey, stop crying. 2016 01:33:44,561 --> 01:33:46,363 I'm trying. I'm trying. 2017 01:33:47,565 --> 01:33:48,599 Oh, God. 2018 01:33:51,202 --> 01:33:52,101 Come here. 2019 01:34:01,945 --> 01:34:03,546 How's that video for Mom coming? 2020 01:34:03,913 --> 01:34:05,349 - Good. - Good, good. 2021 01:34:05,418 --> 01:34:06,319 Good. 2022 01:34:09,121 --> 01:34:10,186 You don't know how to export it, do you? 2023 01:34:10,255 --> 01:34:11,422 Can you help me with that, please? 2024 01:34:11,489 --> 01:34:12,388 Yeah. 2025 01:34:12,825 --> 01:34:13,925 - Okay. - Let's go. 2026 01:34:14,426 --> 01:34:15,326 Hey. 2027 01:34:15,992 --> 01:34:18,260 I thought maybe we could sign up for Grindr together. 2028 01:34:19,331 --> 01:34:21,099 You don't know what Grindr is, do you? 2029 01:34:22,031 --> 01:34:24,067 It's Facebook for gay people. 2030 01:34:24,636 --> 01:34:25,535 Not what it is. 2031 01:34:29,474 --> 01:34:30,172 Ladies and gentlemen, 2032 01:34:30,274 --> 01:34:32,475 I present to you 20 years of bliss. 2033 01:34:33,877 --> 01:34:37,179 (video playing) 2034 01:34:41,152 --> 01:34:42,886 EMILY: Did you guys do this? 2035 01:34:43,887 --> 01:34:45,388 Simon and I did it, yeah. 2036 01:34:46,325 --> 01:34:47,992 - I just helped. - It was mostly me. 2037 01:34:48,191 --> 01:34:49,659 EMILY: (laughs) Yeah, right. 2038 01:34:53,866 --> 01:34:55,367 Really? Really? 2039 01:34:57,033 --> 01:34:58,602 EMILY: I can't believe you did this. 2040 01:34:59,371 --> 01:35:01,438 I panicked and bought you a watch. 2041 01:35:01,905 --> 01:35:02,905 That's okay. 2042 01:35:03,206 --> 01:35:04,540 You can give me somethin' later 2043 01:35:04,611 --> 01:35:05,678 that I can't get in the store. 2044 01:35:05,878 --> 01:35:06,944 That's really gross. 2045 01:35:07,278 --> 01:35:09,445 - Oh, guys, just look. - Sorry, just pay attention. 2046 01:35:09,948 --> 01:35:11,048 Just look at baby Bieber! 2047 01:35:11,116 --> 01:35:12,216 NORA: He was so cute! 2048 01:35:12,283 --> 01:35:14,152 EMILY: Just look at our baby! 2049 01:35:18,023 --> 01:35:19,956 SIMON: Dear students of Creekwood High School, 2050 01:35:20,392 --> 01:35:23,259 As anyone with a half-decent data plan already knows, 2051 01:35:23,830 --> 01:35:25,831 a recent post on this very website 2052 01:35:26,031 --> 01:35:27,331 declared that I was gay. 2053 01:35:28,066 --> 01:35:29,566 The delivery left something to be desired, 2054 01:35:29,634 --> 01:35:31,035 but the message is true. 2055 01:35:31,637 --> 01:35:33,636 I am... gay. 2056 01:35:34,171 --> 01:35:37,239 For a long time, I was killing myself to hide that fact. 2057 01:35:38,042 --> 01:35:39,242 I had all these reasons. 2058 01:35:39,411 --> 01:35:41,812 It was unfair that only gay people had to come out. 2059 01:35:41,879 --> 01:35:43,079 I was sick of change. 2060 01:35:43,313 --> 01:35:44,813 But the truth is I was just scared. 2061 01:35:44,883 --> 01:35:45,950 COACH: Come on, Garrett. Let's go! 2062 01:35:46,218 --> 01:35:47,717 SIMON: At first I thought it was just a gay thing. 2063 01:35:47,985 --> 01:35:49,786 But then I realized, no matter what, 2064 01:35:49,955 --> 01:35:51,089 announcing who you are 2065 01:35:51,157 --> 01:35:52,789 to the world is pretty terrifying 2066 01:35:52,990 --> 01:35:55,491 because what if the world doesn't like you? 2067 01:35:55,994 --> 01:35:58,627 So, I did whatever I could to keep my secret. 2068 01:35:59,096 --> 01:36:01,666 I hurt the best, most important people. 2069 01:36:02,064 --> 01:36:03,566 And I want them to know that I'm sorry. 2070 01:36:04,135 --> 01:36:05,669 I am done being scared. 2071 01:36:06,272 --> 01:36:07,504 I'm done living in a world 2072 01:36:07,571 --> 01:36:09,373 where I don't get to be who I am. 2073 01:36:09,674 --> 01:36:11,342 I deserve a great love story. 2074 01:36:11,544 --> 01:36:14,076 Disclaimer, this is about to get romantic as eff, 2075 01:36:14,378 --> 01:36:16,413 so anyone adverse to gratuitous feelings 2076 01:36:16,482 --> 01:36:18,382 kindly click over to the BuzzFeed quiz 2077 01:36:18,450 --> 01:36:20,651 or resume the porn you paused to read this. 2078 01:36:20,717 --> 01:36:21,917 Did you even use the ladder? 2079 01:36:21,985 --> 01:36:23,452 SIMON: This guy that I love once wrote 2080 01:36:23,555 --> 01:36:25,923 that he felt like he was stuck on a Ferris wheel. 2081 01:36:26,492 --> 01:36:27,890 On top of the world one minute, 2082 01:36:28,191 --> 01:36:29,591 at rock bottom the next. 2083 01:36:30,262 --> 01:36:31,563 That's how I feel now. 2084 01:36:33,030 --> 01:36:35,331 I couldn't ask for more amazing friends, 2085 01:36:35,735 --> 01:36:37,368 a more understanding family. 2086 01:36:37,869 --> 01:36:39,202 But it would all be so much better 2087 01:36:39,270 --> 01:36:40,704 if I had someone to share it with. 2088 01:36:43,641 --> 01:36:44,541 So, Blue... 2089 01:36:45,243 --> 01:36:47,611 I might not know your name or what you look like. 2090 01:36:49,049 --> 01:36:50,282 But I know who you are. 2091 01:36:51,416 --> 01:36:53,083 I know you're funny and thoughtful. 2092 01:36:53,616 --> 01:36:55,151 That you choose your words carefully 2093 01:36:55,220 --> 01:36:56,719 and that they're always perfect. 2094 01:36:57,488 --> 01:37:00,056 And I know that you've been pretending for so long 2095 01:37:00,124 --> 01:37:01,691 it's hard to believe you can stop. 2096 01:37:02,593 --> 01:37:03,493 I get it. 2097 01:37:04,229 --> 01:37:06,164 Like I told you at the very beginning, 2098 01:37:06,698 --> 01:37:07,397 I'm just like you. 2099 01:37:07,564 --> 01:37:09,299 - GIRLS: Hi, Simon. - SIMON: What's up? 2100 01:37:09,801 --> 01:37:10,701 SIMON: So, Blue... 2101 01:37:11,303 --> 01:37:13,268 after the play, Friday at 10:00, 2102 01:37:13,336 --> 01:37:14,571 you know where I'll be. 2103 01:37:15,508 --> 01:37:17,974 No pressure for you to show up, but I hope you do. 2104 01:37:18,743 --> 01:37:21,145 Because you deserve a great love story too. 2105 01:37:21,747 --> 01:37:24,048 Love, Simon. 2106 01:37:35,194 --> 01:37:37,061 ♪ Willkommen ♪ 2107 01:37:37,126 --> 01:37:38,827 ♪ Bienvenue ♪ 2108 01:37:39,129 --> 01:37:45,132 ♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪ 2109 01:37:45,735 --> 01:37:47,202 ♪ Au cabaret ♪ 2110 01:37:48,073 --> 01:37:55,212 ♪ To cabaret ♪ 2111 01:37:59,649 --> 01:38:01,517 (audience cheering) 2112 01:38:06,124 --> 01:38:07,690 (all gasping) 2113 01:38:08,293 --> 01:38:11,129 Okay. They're not paying me enough for this. 2114 01:38:12,996 --> 01:38:14,630 (indistinct chatter) 2115 01:38:19,303 --> 01:38:20,202 - ABBY: Hi - LEAH: Oh, my God. 2116 01:38:20,273 --> 01:38:21,307 - Oh, my God! - You were amazing. 2117 01:38:21,374 --> 01:38:22,306 I'm not even kidding. 2118 01:38:22,406 --> 01:38:23,941 - You were, like, insane. - Thank you! 2119 01:38:24,008 --> 01:38:25,642 - What's up? - Baby! 2120 01:38:25,742 --> 01:38:26,708 (laughing) 2121 01:38:29,948 --> 01:38:31,182 ABBY: Yeah. Yeah. 2122 01:38:35,622 --> 01:38:36,521 (clears throat) 2123 01:38:36,987 --> 01:38:38,589 - Hey, Simon. - Hey. 2124 01:38:41,659 --> 01:38:43,759 Do you wanna go to the carnival with us tonight? 2125 01:38:49,000 --> 01:38:49,900 Yes. 2126 01:38:50,133 --> 01:38:51,167 - Yeah? - SIMON: Yeah! 2127 01:38:51,235 --> 01:38:52,133 LEAH: Yay! 2128 01:38:52,302 --> 01:38:53,636 Get in here, Leah! 2129 01:38:54,071 --> 01:38:55,340 LEAH: (grunts) The love! 2130 01:38:55,740 --> 01:38:56,706 Thank you. 2131 01:39:16,227 --> 01:39:17,126 - We'll be right here. - Yeah. 2132 01:39:17,193 --> 01:39:18,761 - Go get him. - All right. 2133 01:39:18,895 --> 01:39:20,496 - Yes! - Woo! Yeah! 2134 01:39:20,565 --> 01:39:21,298 Go, Simon! 2135 01:39:21,367 --> 01:39:23,334 - Spier, Spier, Spier! - Woo! 2136 01:39:24,135 --> 01:39:25,569 That should last a while. 2137 01:39:29,307 --> 01:39:30,208 GIRL: Oh, my God, look. 2138 01:39:30,442 --> 01:39:32,108 I bet he's waiting for the other gay kid. 2139 01:39:32,276 --> 01:39:33,911 Where's Dana? She'll love this. 2140 01:39:35,678 --> 01:39:37,979 ABBY: You got this, buddy. Proud of you. 2141 01:39:38,048 --> 01:39:39,548 (students cheering) 2142 01:39:39,885 --> 01:39:41,150 - Yeah, buddy! - Yeah! 2143 01:39:41,218 --> 01:39:42,484 You got it! Woo! 2144 01:39:42,686 --> 01:39:43,586 ABBY: This is it. 2145 01:39:48,160 --> 01:39:49,327 ALL: Yeah! 2146 01:39:49,727 --> 01:39:50,727 (cheering continues) 2147 01:39:56,101 --> 01:39:57,534 We love you, Simon! 2148 01:39:58,302 --> 01:40:00,269 (all cheering) 2149 01:40:02,172 --> 01:40:04,340 Yo. Can you just... Come on, no. 2150 01:40:09,680 --> 01:40:11,281 (all whooping) 2151 01:40:32,536 --> 01:40:35,472 Okay. That's your last ride ticket, buddy. 2152 01:40:37,407 --> 01:40:38,808 MARTIN: Wait. Wait! 2153 01:40:42,747 --> 01:40:44,615 Simon, it's me. 2154 01:40:46,351 --> 01:40:48,719 I'm Blue. l love you. 2155 01:40:50,320 --> 01:40:52,889 - No, you're not. - No, I'm not. I just... 2156 01:40:53,956 --> 01:40:56,259 This is so brutal. 2157 01:40:57,995 --> 01:40:59,429 Here. I'll tell you what. 2158 01:40:59,798 --> 01:41:02,499 I got a couple... How much is it? 2159 01:41:03,066 --> 01:41:06,135 - It's four tickets, four bucks. - Perfect. Okay. There you go. 2160 01:41:06,237 --> 01:41:07,337 Last one's on me. 2161 01:41:08,905 --> 01:41:09,805 Got it. 2162 01:41:11,541 --> 01:41:13,710 Last call for the Ferris wheel! 2163 01:41:15,979 --> 01:41:18,648 Oh, no, I can't watch. I can't watch this, babe. No. 2164 01:41:19,183 --> 01:41:20,083 This is awful. 2165 01:41:20,651 --> 01:41:22,550 - Okay, Dora. - Wait, wait. 2166 01:41:24,289 --> 01:41:25,490 Can I sit there? 2167 01:41:26,324 --> 01:41:27,891 I was kind of waiting for somebody. 2168 01:41:29,293 --> 01:41:30,394 Yeah, I know. 2169 01:41:35,265 --> 01:41:36,499 It's Bram! 2170 01:41:42,741 --> 01:41:43,641 It's you. 2171 01:41:45,309 --> 01:41:46,409 It's me. 2172 01:41:49,547 --> 01:41:51,115 But that night at the party... 2173 01:41:51,316 --> 01:41:53,984 Yeah. I was drunk and confused. 2174 01:41:54,051 --> 01:41:56,918 And it ended, like, a minute after you saw us. 2175 01:42:00,257 --> 01:42:01,390 And you're Jewish. 2176 01:42:02,091 --> 01:42:02,992 Yeah. 2177 01:42:04,063 --> 01:42:04,996 Which is cool. 2178 01:42:06,130 --> 01:42:07,530 And I'm black too. 2179 01:42:08,831 --> 01:42:09,732 And gay. 2180 01:42:11,136 --> 01:42:12,135 It's kind of crazy, huh? 2181 01:42:12,369 --> 01:42:13,537 I didn't think you'd come. 2182 01:42:14,805 --> 01:42:15,504 Me neither. 2183 01:42:16,074 --> 01:42:19,409 Until I was walking towards you, I didn't think I had it in me. 2184 01:42:27,818 --> 01:42:29,619 (all murmuring) 2185 01:42:40,264 --> 01:42:41,863 Are you disappointed that it's me? 2186 01:42:45,804 --> 01:42:46,702 No. 2187 01:42:50,274 --> 01:42:53,709 (all cheering) 2188 01:43:27,245 --> 01:43:28,944 (cell phone ringing) 2189 01:43:33,282 --> 01:43:34,182 Hey. 2190 01:43:34,353 --> 01:43:35,385 LEAH: Have you seen CreekSecrets? 2191 01:43:35,553 --> 01:43:37,888 There are six new confessions, all signed. 2192 01:43:38,422 --> 01:43:39,321 Listen to this. 2193 01:43:39,956 --> 01:43:42,356 "My parents didn't come and see me in Cabaret. 2194 01:43:42,559 --> 01:43:44,327 They hate that I wanna be an actor. 2195 01:43:44,494 --> 01:43:46,894 I don't know if they'll ever be proud of me. 2196 01:43:47,198 --> 01:43:48,466 Taylor Metternich." 2197 01:43:48,800 --> 01:43:49,699 Wow. 2198 01:43:50,335 --> 01:43:51,701 You're a trendsetter, Spier. 2199 01:43:52,634 --> 01:43:54,669 Now, come on, get in the car. We need to go. 2200 01:44:04,882 --> 01:44:06,548 - Good morning! - Ah, there he is! 2201 01:44:06,615 --> 01:44:08,318 - Morning, Simon. - Top of the morning, kid. 2202 01:44:08,554 --> 01:44:09,453 What's this? 2203 01:44:09,853 --> 01:44:11,687 - Nora's specialty. - Mm, coconut? 2204 01:44:11,755 --> 01:44:13,188 - Yeah. - You look good. 2205 01:44:13,559 --> 01:44:15,093 - Have a good day, honey. - You too. 2206 01:44:15,160 --> 01:44:16,491 - Is it good? - It's delicious. 2207 01:44:16,727 --> 01:44:18,428 - I'll see you guys. - What, you're not gonna eat? 2208 01:44:18,562 --> 01:44:19,461 Bye, Simon. 2209 01:44:19,528 --> 01:44:23,632 ("Wild Heart" playing) 2210 01:44:32,809 --> 01:44:34,043 - Mornin'. - Mornin', buddy. 2211 01:44:35,980 --> 01:44:37,513 ♪ No one will ever Read the letters ♪ 2212 01:44:37,679 --> 01:44:39,613 ♪ Or the lies that I told ♪ 2213 01:44:39,917 --> 01:44:42,485 ♪ From the years I was changed... ♪ 2214 01:44:42,852 --> 01:44:44,719 - Good morning. - Hey! How you doin', Leah? 2215 01:44:44,788 --> 01:44:46,254 Pretty good. Pretty good. 2216 01:44:47,490 --> 01:44:49,225 ♪ Why did they have to go And run ♪ 2217 01:44:49,293 --> 01:44:51,927 ♪ From the dream far away ♪ 2218 01:44:52,429 --> 01:44:54,896 ♪ Were we there? Was I brave? ♪ 2219 01:44:55,265 --> 01:44:57,500 ♪ Ooh, ooh! ♪ 2220 01:44:57,934 --> 01:44:58,868 Hey! 2221 01:45:06,310 --> 01:45:07,209 Hey. 2222 01:45:11,579 --> 01:45:12,981 - Morning. - Morning. 2223 01:45:16,586 --> 01:45:17,485 Everybody in? 2224 01:45:17,554 --> 01:45:18,453 - Yes. - Oh, yeah. 2225 01:45:18,622 --> 01:45:19,422 All right, it's too beautiful a day, 2226 01:45:20,091 --> 01:45:21,992 so I think I'm gonna actually take us on a little adventure. 2227 01:45:22,326 --> 01:45:23,460 - Yes! - Woo! 2228 01:45:23,526 --> 01:45:25,126 That's exactly what I need! 2229 01:45:25,296 --> 01:45:26,230 NICK: Yeah, adventure! 2230 01:45:28,331 --> 01:45:30,133 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2231 01:45:31,433 --> 01:45:32,735 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2232 01:45:34,306 --> 01:45:35,705 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2233 01:45:37,306 --> 01:45:38,673 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2234 01:45:40,211 --> 01:45:41,645 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2235 01:45:43,313 --> 01:45:44,647 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2236 01:45:44,649 --> 01:45:46,582 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2237 01:45:46,584 --> 01:45:50,287 ♪ When we met Everything seemed all right ♪ 2238 01:45:52,990 --> 01:45:54,991 ♪ I turn and sing On the sidewalk ♪ 2239 01:45:55,058 --> 01:45:57,059 ♪ Cut straight through The moonlight ♪ 2240 01:45:59,997 --> 01:46:03,666 ♪ I loved those days We didn't get out of bed ♪ 2241 01:46:06,771 --> 01:46:10,372 ♪ Left your taste in my mouth Your strange voice in my head ♪ 2242 01:46:11,009 --> 01:46:13,910 ♪ Oh I wanna hear it again ♪ 2243 01:46:14,911 --> 01:46:17,412 ♪ Expect that we're caught In a love song ♪ 2244 01:46:17,681 --> 01:46:20,650 ♪ So loud, oh, yeah ♪ 2245 01:46:21,884 --> 01:46:24,019 ♪ No not so typical love song ♪ 2246 01:46:24,288 --> 01:46:27,223 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2247 01:46:28,558 --> 01:46:31,027 ♪ So say that I really need you ♪ 2248 01:46:31,262 --> 01:46:34,164 ♪ So bad, oh, yeah ♪ 2249 01:46:35,132 --> 01:46:37,632 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2250 01:46:37,936 --> 01:46:40,838 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2251 01:46:42,104 --> 01:46:43,739 ♪ Hey ♪ 2252 01:46:49,644 --> 01:46:51,378 ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪ 2253 01:46:54,183 --> 01:46:56,316 ♪ You leave the city And chase bullet holes ♪ 2254 01:46:56,384 --> 01:46:58,152 ♪ That's actually starlight ♪ 2255 01:47:00,458 --> 01:47:03,290 ♪ In those rare moments You and I were brilliant ♪ 2256 01:47:03,360 --> 01:47:05,128 ♪ We were gonna be all right ♪ 2257 01:47:07,829 --> 01:47:11,165 ♪ God I loved those days We couldn't get out of bed ♪ 2258 01:47:14,371 --> 01:47:18,173 ♪ With your taste in my mouth Or your words in my head ♪ 2259 01:47:18,509 --> 01:47:21,343 ♪ And now I wanna Hear it again ♪ 2260 01:47:22,678 --> 01:47:25,212 ♪ Expect that we're caught In a love song ♪ 2261 01:47:25,482 --> 01:47:28,350 ♪ So loud, oh, yeah ♪ 2262 01:47:29,521 --> 01:47:31,721 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2263 01:47:32,055 --> 01:47:34,991 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2264 01:47:36,125 --> 01:47:38,561 ♪ So say that I really need you ♪ 2265 01:47:38,929 --> 01:47:41,797 ♪ So bad, oh, yeah ♪ 2266 01:47:43,067 --> 01:47:45,468 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2267 01:47:45,703 --> 01:47:48,337 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2268 01:47:48,770 --> 01:47:55,943 (instrumental music playing) 165197