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1
00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,304
[indistinct conversations]
2
00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:46,089
[The "Oogum Boogum"
song playing]
3
00:00:51,665 --> 00:00:53,251
SIMON: I'm just like you.
4
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:55,479
For the most part,
my life is totally normal.
5
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,110
-Happy birthday.
-No!
6
00:00:57,121 --> 00:00:59,613
SIMON: My dad was the annoyingly
handsome quarterback
7
00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,744
who married
the hot valedictorian.
8
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,792
And, no, they didn't peak
in high school.
9
00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:06,066
-[car door closes]
-[horn honks]
10
00:01:06,104 --> 00:01:07,452
I have a sister
I actually like.
11
00:01:07,463 --> 00:01:08,965
Not that I'd ever
tell her that.
12
00:01:08,976 --> 00:01:11,843
And last year, and 200
episodes ofChopped ago...
13
00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:14,250
she decided
she wanted to be a chef.
14
00:01:14,261 --> 00:01:16,021
Which means we're pretty much
all her test subjects now.
15
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:17,686
♪ Cute mini skirt
16
00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:20,071
♪ With your brother's
sloppy shirt ♪
17
00:01:20,137 --> 00:01:22,835
♪ I admit it girl,
That I can dig it ♪
18
00:01:22,846 --> 00:01:24,551
EMILY: Is it spicy, Jack?
19
00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:27,118
-[spits]
-Oh! Gracious. Oh, my gosh.
20
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:29,377
SIMON: And then
there's my friends.
21
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:32,360
Two of them, I've known
22
00:01:32,371 --> 00:01:34,257
since pretty much
the beginning of time.
23
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:36,352
-Or at least kindergarten.
-No. No.
24
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:37,880
-LEAH: Oh! Sorry!
-Okay. How 'bout that?
25
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:39,403
[crowd cheering]
26
00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:41,971
One of them,
I just met a few months ago,
27
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:43,918
but it feels
like I've known her forever.
28
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,496
We do everything friends do.
29
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:47,368
We drink way too much
iced coffee,
30
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,370
watch bad '90s movies
and hang out at Waffle House
31
00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:52,125
dreaming of college
and gorging on carbs.
32
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:53,983
[cheering continues]
33
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:57,117
♪ You got me doin' funny things Like a clown ♪
34
00:01:57,856 --> 00:01:59,406
♪ Just look at me
35
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:04,602
♪ When you wear
Your bell-bottom pants... ♪
36
00:02:05,071 --> 00:02:06,781
SIMON: So, like I said.
37
00:02:07,266 --> 00:02:08,702
I'm just like you.
38
00:02:08,713 --> 00:02:11,454
I have a totally,
perfectly normal life.
39
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,422
Except I have
one huge-ass secret.
40
00:02:17,878 --> 00:02:20,664
♪ Now go on
With your bad self ♪
41
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:31,956
♪ Ooh, ooh, now mercy,
Mercy on me ♪
42
00:02:31,967 --> 00:02:34,444
-[knocking on door]
-Hey! Morning! Oh!
43
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,634
-Hey!
-Sorry.
44
00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:37,940
I didn't realize
you were masturbating.
45
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,074
Yeah, very funny.
46
00:02:39,085 --> 00:02:40,782
Your sister's downstairs
making some
47
00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:42,186
la-di-da pancake thing
she saw on Top Chef,
48
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:44,046
so we should
probably go eat that.
49
00:02:44,057 --> 00:02:45,972
Great. I'll be down
in just a second.
50
00:02:45,983 --> 00:02:49,288
Okay. Right after you finish
searching the internet for...
51
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:51,649
lingerie photos of Gigi Habib?
52
00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:54,086
[scoffs]
It's Hadid.
53
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,698
Right. I didn't realize
she was your girlfriend.
54
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:58,207
All right, finish up here.
55
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,516
You got me.
56
00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:09,058
[indistinct chatter]
57
00:03:09,678 --> 00:03:12,006
-Morning, guys.
-Simon, have a seat, honey.
58
00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,236
-Morning, Simon.
-You gotta eat your breakfast.
59
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,353
Please don't tell me
60
00:03:14,364 --> 00:03:16,174
that breakfast is the most
important meal of the day
61
00:03:16,185 --> 00:03:18,578
because that is just so cliché.
You're better than that.
62
00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:20,287
I was gonna say breakfast
lowers LDL cholesterol
63
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,202
and prevents
fluctuating glucose levels
64
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:24,454
-that lead to type two diabetes.
-Oh!
65
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:25,379
Touché.
66
00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:28,295
Nora. These are incredible.
67
00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:31,189
Cornmeal pancakes
with blackberry compote.
68
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,603
But they're not crumbly enough.
69
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,692
Stop it. They're perfect.
70
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:35,824
[Nora sighs]
71
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,041
Eat up, Bieber.
72
00:03:38,534 --> 00:03:40,231
-See you, guys.
-JACK: See you, Simon.
73
00:03:40,242 --> 00:03:43,499
EMILY: Hey, honey. Be back
by seven! It's TV night.
74
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:51,883
[leaf blower whirs]
75
00:03:54,697 --> 00:03:55,611
Hey!
76
00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:57,106
Morning!
77
00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,783
It's Simon! I live right here!
78
00:04:01,064 --> 00:04:02,599
I like your boots!
79
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:06,942
Okay, bye!
80
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:13,949
-[sighs]
-[horn honks]
81
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:16,430
God damn.
82
00:04:21,764 --> 00:04:24,122
["Rollercoaster" playing]
83
00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:32,477
♪ It was summer
When I saw your face ♪
84
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,220
♪ Looked like a teenage
Runaway... ♪
85
00:04:35,919 --> 00:04:37,312
-Yo!
-Yo!
86
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,191
Had the craziest dream
last night.
87
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:41,324
Hey, Nick, you have the
craziest dream every night.
88
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,804
NICK: You don't understand.
I'm in this cave, right?
89
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:44,577
Or maybe it's in outer space.
90
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,373
David Beckham is there
with these two contact lenses
91
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,375
and then like, blue one or
red one, like he's a sexy
92
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:49,767
Morpheus from Matrix.
93
00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,334
And I don't know
which one to pick.
94
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,938
I don't know what to do
with these things.
95
00:04:52,949 --> 00:04:55,588
Oh, my God. Have you guys seen
Creek Secretstoday?
96
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,645
First of all, you are obsessed
with that blog, so...
97
00:04:57,688 --> 00:04:59,342
LEAH: Okay, but apparently,
Becca Peterson
98
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,952
got caught giving
Ryan O'Donovan,
99
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,389
an HJ in the pool.
100
00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:03,912
That's the real reason
they drained it.
101
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,348
Man, our janitor needs a raise.
102
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,784
LEAH: Oh, my God.
103
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,688
-And an HPV vaccine.
-[Nick laughs]
104
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,092
NICK: Leah, I have this dream,
right?
105
00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:11,441
LEAH: Nick, we have a rule,
remember?
106
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,868
No analyzing dreams
before coffee.
107
00:05:14,212 --> 00:05:15,909
[indistinct chatter]
108
00:05:16,454 --> 00:05:18,829
Hi, could we get
four iced coffees, please?
109
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,744
Oh, could you get Abby's
with milk? She likes milk.
110
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:23,399
-One with milk.
-What are you, her barista?
111
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,399
[chuckles] It's not hard
to remember "with milk."
112
00:05:30,493 --> 00:05:32,079
SIMON: Thank you.
113
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:34,246
♪ Hey I'm never the same
114
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:38,055
♪ It's a hundred miles an hour
On a dirt road running away ♪
115
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:40,296
ABBY: Hey!
116
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,692
-Hey.
-Hey.
117
00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:47,129
[gasps] Oh, thank you.
I am figuratively dying.
118
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:49,218
So, Abby, last night I dreamt
119
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,828
I put the wrong contacts
in my eyes.
120
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:52,917
-Another dream. You're like...
-SIMON: Hmm.
121
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:54,397
You're like the love child of
122
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,704
Sigmund Freud
and Cristiano Ronaldo.
123
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,356
-Oh, my God.
-Thanks.
124
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,011
Now, look. I can't see anything
125
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:01,578
and I'm stumbling around
in this cave,
126
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:04,184
crashing into stuff,
and then, I wake up.
127
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,965
-That's it?
-NICK: Yeah.
128
00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,585
Maybe it's something that
you're not seeing clearly.
129
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:11,098
Like something that's, like,
right in front of your face.
130
00:06:11,109 --> 00:06:12,731
What am I not seeing?
131
00:06:13,585 --> 00:06:15,108
[exhales]
No idea.
132
00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:18,247
["Love me" playing]
133
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:21,903
Ooh! Ooh!
134
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,824
[indistinct chatter]
135
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:41,531
♪ Hey, would you like to
136
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:45,492
♪ Look outside sometimes?
No ♪
137
00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:49,670
♪ I'm just
With my friends online ♪
138
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:52,716
♪ And there's things
We'd like to change... ♪
139
00:06:52,888 --> 00:06:54,968
We should be hot Pokémon
for Halloween.
140
00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,328
Oh, yeah.
141
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:57,286
But I get to be
slutty Charmander.
142
00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:58,809
Cool scarf, Ethan.
143
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:00,463
Hope it doesn't get caught
in your vagina.
144
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,552
Great choice on
the cargo pants, by the way.
145
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:05,207
It looks like you got
gangbanged by a T.J. Maxx.
146
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,020
Whatever, fag.
[laughs]
147
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,387
ETHAN: Honestly, it's just
not even a challenge anymore.
148
00:07:11,574 --> 00:07:12,597
LEAH: Dicks.
149
00:07:12,674 --> 00:07:14,926
Wish Ethan wouldn't make it
so easy for them.
150
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:16,729
Yeah, well, at my old school,
151
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,427
that would have been settled
with a knife fight.
152
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,702
-[bell rings]
-Good morning, Creekwood High!
153
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,225
Come on, phones off!
154
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:25,042
There's a whole world
to look at!
155
00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:26,837
You can look people
in the eyes!
156
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:29,274
[groans]
Gah! Yeah.
157
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,711
Stop with the selfies.
You're not all that.
158
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,827
-I'll see you guys at lunch.
-Yeah.
159
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,976
Wow! Simonay.
160
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,891
Look at those new kicks,
my brother.
161
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,751
Where'd you get those? Where
could I get a pair of those?
162
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,285
-I forget. Sorry.
-You forget?
163
00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:41,504
Come on, you gotta let me
know the brand!
164
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:43,201
I want to be sneaker brothers.
165
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:46,663
Oh, I see more phones!
Who took your phones now?
166
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:51,569
Me! Me! Me took your phones now!
You can get 'em at my office!
167
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:54,822
I can't believe we have to be
off book, in like, two weeks.
168
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:57,248
Seriously, Sally Bowles
never shuts the eff up.
169
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:58,695
SIMON: Don't you wish
you were talentless like me?
170
00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,116
Here. Let me show you
a thing or two.
171
00:08:00,127 --> 00:08:01,514
SIMON: Because then you could
just be living the easy life
172
00:08:01,525 --> 00:08:02,993
as company member
number eight.
173
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,116
[Abby laughs]
174
00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:05,746
Well, well, well...
175
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:08,647
If it isn't my fellow thespians.
176
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,533
Hey, Martin.
177
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,061
Hey, Spier. Hey, Abby.
178
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,319
Hi.
179
00:08:14,330 --> 00:08:16,569
Excited to rehearse
with you later.
180
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:18,976
Hey, uh, so, fun fact.
181
00:08:18,987 --> 00:08:20,576
You know that Cabaret
was actually based off a play
182
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,066
called I Am Camera?
183
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,633
Then I Am a Camera
was based off
184
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,896
this novel called
Goodbye to Berlin.
185
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,203
And Goodbye to Berlin
was actually based off
186
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,975
Christopher Isherwood's
187
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:31,978
-early years in Berlin.
-[bell rings]
188
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:33,861
Wow. That's awesome.
I have homeroom.
189
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,061
Yeah. All right.
190
00:08:35,072 --> 00:08:36,505
Well, I think she
found that interesting.
191
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,671
Bye, Martin.
192
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,519
Bye, big boy.
[chuckles]
193
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:43,030
Suraj! Now.
194
00:08:44,362 --> 00:08:46,491
Come on. You know the drill.
195
00:08:47,219 --> 00:08:50,214
EMILY: I've had an inspiration.
How aboutThe Affair?
196
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,575
No. No. We cannot watch
The Affairas a family.
197
00:08:52,586 --> 00:08:55,066
-Why not?
-Because it's all about sex.
198
00:08:55,094 --> 00:08:57,569
Oh, well, God forbid we should
watch people make love.
199
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,060
Oh, God.
200
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:01,062
Oh, my God.
You guys are so repressed.
201
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:04,402
Don't therapize us, okay?
We are not your patients.
202
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,360
-We're your family.
-EMILY: That's true.
203
00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:07,938
If you were my patients, you'd
be much more well-adjusted.
204
00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:10,582
-Oh. Nice therapy burn, baby.
-Thank you.
205
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:12,421
-She got you.
-You know what?
206
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,325
We didn't see last week's
episode of The Bachelor.
207
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:15,946
Yeah, how did that guy
even become the bachelor?
208
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:16,947
Why?
209
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,718
Well, he's clearly gay.
210
00:09:18,812 --> 00:09:20,636
-NORA: No, he's not.
-Really?
211
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:21,691
-He's handsome.
-That date,
212
00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:23,084
where he took the girl to
213
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:24,607
the "make your
own perfume" place?
214
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:25,913
Dad! The producers
plan those dates.
215
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,654
He is so fruity.
He's so fruity.
216
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,525
He's a one-man pride parade.
Are you kidding me?
217
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,092
-He has more chemistry
-Just stop it.
218
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,905
with Chris Harrison,
than any of those girls.
219
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,130
[whispers] After this, I gotta
show you something.
220
00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:38,839
Okay?
Let's watch The Americans.
221
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,710
EMILY: Every single episode,
you here next to me.
222
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:42,364
So your mother decided
that we should make
223
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,105
each other anniversary
presents this year.
224
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:46,237
You know, so they came
from the heart, or some crap.
225
00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:48,631
Anyway, I decided to come up
with this bad boy.
226
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:49,980
Look at this.
227
00:09:49,991 --> 00:09:52,733
I present to you,
a Jack Spier production.
228
00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:54,245
-[mouse clicks]
-["Heaven" playing]
229
00:09:54,267 --> 00:09:56,834
♪ I don't need to be the king
Of the world ♪
230
00:09:56,917 --> 00:09:58,288
Wait, wait.
231
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,296
Look at that!
232
00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:02,471
Oh, it's so good.
233
00:10:02,599 --> 00:10:07,178
♪ As long as I'm the hero
Of this little girl ♪
234
00:10:07,623 --> 00:10:09,718
Look at this.
Wait, wait, wait.
235
00:10:10,084 --> 00:10:11,999
♪ Heaven isn't too far away
236
00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:13,471
SIMON: Yup. Okay.
237
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:14,396
[stops video]
238
00:10:14,745 --> 00:10:16,108
What are you...
239
00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:18,574
Look, this is your
20th anniversary,
240
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,870
so I'm gonna be super real
with you right now.
241
00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,709
This looks
like a fourth grader made it.
242
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:25,320
And not even the smartest
fourth grader in the class.
243
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:27,017
Just, like,
a deeply average fourth grader.
244
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,932
What are you talking about?
This is amazing.
245
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:31,108
I got fade-ins.
I got dissolves.
246
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,632
-This is beautiful.
-Get up for a second.
247
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,185
I'll help you. Trust me.
248
00:10:34,196 --> 00:10:36,767
We can make this good.
We just gotta put in...
249
00:10:36,778 --> 00:10:38,719
you know, some home video.
250
00:10:38,911 --> 00:10:41,797
Maybe put in some better music.
251
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,545
"Better music"? This was huge
when we were young.
252
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:46,689
Yeah. So was Bill Cosby.
253
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,778
["Waterloo Sunset" playing]
254
00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:56,786
[cell phone ringing]
255
00:10:59,549 --> 00:11:00,585
Hey.
256
00:11:00,596 --> 00:11:01,911
Have you seen the new post?
257
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:03,553
No. What? Oh, my God.
258
00:11:03,564 --> 00:11:05,654
You know, I'm never getting
back in that pool again.
259
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,014
Wait, no. About the closeted
gay kid at school.
260
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,735
What?
261
00:11:11,746 --> 00:11:14,097
LEAH:
Yeah, it's onCreek Secrets.
262
00:11:14,264 --> 00:11:16,919
♪ People so busy
Makes me feel dizzy ♪
263
00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:19,498
♪ Taxi light shines
So bright... ♪
264
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:24,727
-Who do you think it is?
-[exhales]
265
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,349
I bet it's that sophomore
266
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,024
with the rimless glasses.
I get a vibe.
267
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,253
-Actually.
-Hmm.
268
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:31,388
Maybe it's Parker O'Malley.
269
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:32,909
I've heard he's, like,
obsessed withLes Mis.
270
00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:34,650
Oh, gosh. Jeez. I gotta go.
271
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,478
Bieber just took a dump
on the floor.
272
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:37,817
LEAH: Aw, Beebs.
273
00:11:37,828 --> 00:11:40,338
-Feed him some rice...
-Can I call you back?
274
00:11:42,593 --> 00:11:45,715
SIMON: "Sometimes, I feel like
I'm stuck on a Ferris wheel.
275
00:11:45,726 --> 00:11:47,478
One minute I'm on
top of the world,
276
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:48,838
and the next,
I'm at rock bottom.
277
00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:51,232
Over and over, all day long.
278
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,321
Because a lot of my life
is great,
279
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,333
but nobody knows I'm gay.
280
00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,280
Blue
281
00:11:57,238 --> 00:11:58,239
[exhales]
282
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:05,959
♪ As long as I gaze
on Waterloo sunset ♪
283
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:08,728
♪ I am in paradise
284
00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:17,519
♪ Every day I look at the world From my window ♪
285
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:25,005
♪ But chilly, chilly
Is the evening time ♪
286
00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:30,575
♪ Waterloo sunset's fine
Waterloo sunset's fine ♪
287
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:37,321
♪ Terry meets Julie
Waterloo Station ♪
288
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:40,368
♪ Every Friday night
289
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:41,958
[clears throat]
290
00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:46,548
♪ But I am so lazy
Don't want to wander... ♪
291
00:12:46,804 --> 00:12:48,412
Blue. Okay.
292
00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:50,682
[exhales]
293
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:57,602
♪ But I don't feel afraid
294
00:12:58,513 --> 00:13:01,378
SIMON: Dear Blue,
I'm just like you.
295
00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:03,217
For the most part,
my life is totally normal.
296
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:04,784
My dad was the annoyingly
handsome quarterback
297
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,524
who married
the hot valedictorian.
298
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,276
And no, they didn't peak
in high school.
299
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,701
I have a sister
I actually like.
300
00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:10,964
Not that I'd
ever tell her that.
301
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,966
And then, there's my friends.
302
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:14,619
We do everything friends do.
We drink way too much...
303
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,587
So, like I said,
I'm just like you.
304
00:13:16,598 --> 00:13:18,444
I have a totally,
perfectly normal life.
305
00:13:18,455 --> 00:13:20,787
Except I have one
huge-ass secret.
306
00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:31,027
♪ As long as they gaze on
Waterloo sunset ♪
307
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,421
♪ They are in paradise
308
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:46,477
Jacques.
309
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:52,266
♪ Waterloo sunset's fine
Waterloo sunset's fine ♪
310
00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:00,230
[panting]
311
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:02,493
Hey. Morning.
312
00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:05,888
[cell phone chimes]
313
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,030
[sighs]
314
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:19,032
Nothin'.
315
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:25,081
TEACHER: Math is what
we're talking about.
316
00:14:25,092 --> 00:14:27,943
Can anyone answer for me
how we find the value
317
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:31,914
of "d-y by d-x" that I have
written up on the board?
318
00:14:32,885 --> 00:14:35,385
Does anyone want to...
Yes! Simon.
319
00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:37,409
Can I go to the bathroom?
320
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,921
Sure, it's fine.
321
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,135
Thanks.
322
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:02,727
[sighs]
323
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:07,297
Simon. Simon.
324
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,549
-Yeah.
-Can I get some fries?
325
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,256
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
326
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,825
GARRETT: I'm telling you,
the Oakwood Tigers
327
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:15,479
score so many goals
because they shave their legs.
328
00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:17,481
Garrett, I'm not gonna
shave my legs.
329
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,951
It makes their kicks
more aerodynamic.
330
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,833
We can just do
extra burpees, man.
331
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,183
Whatever, Bram.
332
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:26,294
Guys, I just found
a press-on nail in my salad.
333
00:15:27,477 --> 00:15:29,050
BOTH: Debbie.
334
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:30,712
[indistinct chatter]
335
00:15:33,665 --> 00:15:36,195
Why is there no cell reception
at this school?
336
00:15:36,206 --> 00:15:37,472
I swear to God.
337
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:46,119
-Simonay, Simonay.
-Hey.
338
00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:48,164
What are you doing?
You can't text in the halls.
339
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:49,513
How many times
have I told you that?
340
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:50,785
I can't have all my students
341
00:15:50,796 --> 00:15:52,331
Tindering it up.
That's my department.
342
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:53,517
-Right.
-[laughing]
343
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:54,621
It actually is.
344
00:15:54,632 --> 00:15:56,286
I got a really hot date
on Tinder tonight.
345
00:15:56,297 --> 00:15:57,949
She is cute!
346
00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:02,831
"Ew! Vice principals can't go
on dates. That's gross."
347
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,691
We're people too, Simon.
348
00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,443
We like to go out.
We like to have a good time.
349
00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:08,358
We like to have sex.
That's not a big deal, right?
350
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,809
Yeah, no. No biggie at all.
351
00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:11,698
Actually. You know,
I totally see you as a person.
352
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:12,910
-Thank you. I appreciate that.
-Yeah.
353
00:16:12,921 --> 00:16:14,324
-Thank you very much.
-You're welcome.
354
00:16:14,335 --> 00:16:15,553
-Seriously.
-Yeah. Yeah.
355
00:16:15,564 --> 00:16:16,692
Could I just get
my phone though?
356
00:16:16,703 --> 00:16:17,791
No. Unfortunately, I'm gonna
have to keep it
357
00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,663
until after play practice.
358
00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:21,110
But you will get your precious
359
00:16:21,121 --> 00:16:22,757
after play practice, okay?
I promise.
360
00:16:22,801 --> 00:16:24,505
So how's play practice going?
361
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:25,941
-SIMON: Great. Yeah, it's...
-MR. WORTH: How's Ms. Albright?
362
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,595
SIMON: She's good.
363
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,423
MR. WORTH: She's good?
She doesn't like men.
364
00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:33,644
♪ Willkommen, bienvenue
365
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:39,041
♪ Welcome im cabaret
366
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,390
[laughs]
367
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:46,135
♪ Au cabaret, to cabaret
368
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:55,927
[claps]
369
00:16:56,419 --> 00:16:57,768
Okay.
370
00:16:57,779 --> 00:17:01,602
Those aren't actual claps.
My hands are tired! [chuckles]
371
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,284
Okay! All right.
372
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:05,961
That was...
373
00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:08,636
Cal, help me. That was...
374
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,029
That was a start?
375
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:12,161
That was a start!
Is what it was.
376
00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:13,344
That was a start.
377
00:17:13,355 --> 00:17:16,117
You know, when Mr. Worth
told me that no student,
378
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:18,328
regardless of talent...
[chuckles]
379
00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:21,551
...was to be left out of
my production, I had my doubts.
380
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:23,129
Yes, I did.
[chuckles]
381
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:24,913
Yeah.
382
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:28,308
That's it.
That's my whole speech.
383
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:29,744
TAYLOR: Ms. Albright.
384
00:17:29,755 --> 00:17:32,268
Hi. That was
the biggest train wreck
385
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:33,443
our stage has ever seen.
386
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,054
And Rob and Brianne
387
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,566
were practically dry
humping the whole song.
388
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:37,708
MS. ALBRIGHT: Oh, I saw.
389
00:17:37,904 --> 00:17:41,258
Save the kissing
for the cast party. All right?
390
00:17:41,335 --> 00:17:45,102
This is war. You're Nazis.
Okay? More anger.
391
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:48,763
Suraj, stop pretending
that trumpet is your penis!
392
00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:50,656
-My boy.
-[all laughing]
393
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:52,027
It is a rental.
394
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,118
I was an extra
in The Lion King,
395
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,813
and this is where I am.
396
00:18:00,325 --> 00:18:01,849
Hey. What time is it?
397
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,383
Ten minutes since the last time
you asked. Go.
398
00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:07,042
One! Two! Three! Four!
399
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,436
ABBY: ♪ Welcome... ♪
400
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:11,328
MS. ALBRIGHT: I will kill you.
401
00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:13,726
Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy, yo!
402
00:18:14,018 --> 00:18:15,883
-Mr. Worth.
-Hey, what's up, my brother?
403
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,531
Hey, just here for my phone.
404
00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,750
Oh, of course you are.
Of course you are.
405
00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:21,274
How'd you enjoy
being unplugged?
406
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:22,275
It was great.
407
00:18:22,286 --> 00:18:23,531
-Great, right?
-Yeah.
408
00:18:23,542 --> 00:18:25,516
This isn't life, man.
This is plugged.
409
00:18:25,527 --> 00:18:27,007
-This is unplugged.
-Mm-hmm.
410
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:29,125
Plugged. Unplugged.
411
00:18:29,198 --> 00:18:32,039
All right, Simon, I know that
I'm hard on you. I really do.
412
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,764
SIMON: Mm-hmm.
413
00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:36,191
But it's only 'cause I really
see myself in you.
414
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:39,030
Uh... You know, I don't know
if I'd say that.
415
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,438
No, I see it, it's obvious.
It's obvious.
416
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:42,817
I know there's a lot
417
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,340
-going on there, man.
-Yup.
418
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:45,907
And I bet you got
a lot of questions.
419
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,563
Is there something
you wanna say to me?
420
00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:49,171
No.
421
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:50,891
You know my policy.
What does it say?
422
00:18:50,902 --> 00:18:53,555
-"Open door. Open ears."
-"Open door. Open ears."
423
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:54,872
There's nothing
you want to say?
424
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,570
-Nope.
-You sure?
425
00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:57,789
-Yeah.
-Okay.
426
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,062
-It's a great sign though.
-Thank you.
427
00:18:59,073 --> 00:19:01,378
Thank you.
Now don't text and drive.
428
00:19:01,389 --> 00:19:02,347
That's how my cat
got murdered.
429
00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:03,563
-Okay.
-[laughs]
430
00:19:03,574 --> 00:19:06,641
I'm just kidding.
I don't have cats. I got asthma.
431
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,117
[sighs]
432
00:19:23,977 --> 00:19:25,570
BLUE: A secret, huh?
433
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,680
Is it the same as my secret?
434
00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:29,994
If it is, when did you know?
435
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,500
-Have you told anyone? Blue.
-[horn honking]
436
00:19:34,869 --> 00:19:35,783
Okay.
437
00:19:48,569 --> 00:19:51,133
SIMON: No, Blue.
I haven't told anyone.
438
00:19:51,863 --> 00:19:54,757
And, honestly, I can't even
really explain why.
439
00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:58,186
Deep down, I know my family
would be fine with it.
440
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,594
Hey, what rhymes
with "patriarchy"?
441
00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:02,789
That says "patriachy" though.
442
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,183
Oh, shit.
443
00:20:05,118 --> 00:20:07,367
SIMON: My mom's about
as liberal as they come.
444
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:10,181
And my dad isn't exactly
the macho type.
445
00:20:10,756 --> 00:20:12,635
I mean, Creekwood's resident
446
00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:14,506
out-gay kid
seems to be doing just fine.
447
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,215
When Ethan came out,
no one even cared.
448
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,826
Guys, I have something
to tell you.
449
00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:20,654
I'm gay.
450
00:20:21,411 --> 00:20:24,327
Wow, really?
That's really great, Ethan.
451
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:26,744
Oh, my God. No way.
452
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:29,663
Oh, my God, you are?
I had no idea.
453
00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:31,578
What a complete surprise!
454
00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:32,883
Too much, Claire.
455
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,277
SIMON: As for how I knew
I was gay,
456
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,346
it was a bunch of
little things.
457
00:20:37,888 --> 00:20:39,455
Like this one recurring dream
458
00:20:39,499 --> 00:20:41,681
I kept having
about Daniel Radcliffe.
459
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:50,150
And then proceeded to have
every night for a month.
460
00:20:55,616 --> 00:20:57,810
I was obsessed
with Panic! at the Disco.
461
00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:00,139
I can't. He's so cute.
He's so cute.
462
00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:01,586
[clears throat]
463
00:21:01,597 --> 00:21:03,305
Come on,
he's like Jesus and chocolate.
464
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:04,905
Just look at him.
465
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,200
SIMON: Then I realized
466
00:21:06,211 --> 00:21:08,247
it really wasn't
about the music.
467
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,388
And then there was
my first girlfriend.
468
00:21:10,399 --> 00:21:12,477
I think I'm falling
in love with you.
469
00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:14,717
Wow. Thank you. Be right back.
470
00:21:17,808 --> 00:21:19,670
Wasn't my proudest moment.
471
00:21:27,448 --> 00:21:29,712
How 'bout you?
How did you know?
472
00:21:29,723 --> 00:21:31,551
Warmly, Jacques.
473
00:21:36,317 --> 00:21:38,061
Fondly, Jacques.
474
00:21:43,243 --> 00:21:44,157
Jacques.
475
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:52,975
[cell phone chimes]
476
00:21:57,023 --> 00:21:58,938
BLUE: Jacques, don't worry.
477
00:21:58,949 --> 00:22:00,786
If your proudest moment
happened in middle school,
478
00:22:00,797 --> 00:22:02,522
that would be pretty sad.
479
00:22:02,533 --> 00:22:04,094
For me, I realized I liked guys
480
00:22:04,105 --> 00:22:05,350
watchingGame of Thrones.
481
00:22:05,361 --> 00:22:06,991
My friends were all
holding their breath
482
00:22:07,002 --> 00:22:09,842
waiting to see
the Dragon Princess's boobs.
483
00:22:09,971 --> 00:22:12,264
I was crushing hard
on Jon Snow.
484
00:22:12,514 --> 00:22:14,342
SIMON: Well,
I've never told anyone
485
00:22:14,353 --> 00:22:17,194
about my Daniel Radcliffe phase so now we're even.
486
00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:18,373
And for the record,
487
00:22:18,384 --> 00:22:20,066
I think Jon Snow
is an excellent choice
488
00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:21,553
for your sexual awakening.
489
00:22:21,564 --> 00:22:23,369
So I guess, if I want
to find you at school
490
00:22:23,380 --> 00:22:26,088
I just have to look for
theGame of Thrones fanatic.
491
00:22:36,663 --> 00:22:38,100
Wow.
492
00:22:38,143 --> 00:22:39,936
I was just listening to that
M83 song "Reunion,"
493
00:22:39,947 --> 00:22:41,678
and it made me think of you.
494
00:22:41,689 --> 00:22:44,248
BLUE: You'll probably think
my music taste is lame.
495
00:22:44,594 --> 00:22:46,266
Kind of have the same taste
as my Aunt Sally
496
00:22:46,277 --> 00:22:47,801
who loves show tunes.
497
00:22:47,812 --> 00:22:50,412
Obviously, some of the things
I've told you about myself
498
00:22:50,423 --> 00:22:52,821
are things I've never
talked about with anyone.
499
00:22:52,832 --> 00:22:54,977
There's something about you
that makes me want to open up.
500
00:22:54,988 --> 00:22:57,365
And that's
slightly terrifying for me.
501
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,638
SIMON: So I've been thinking,
502
00:22:58,681 --> 00:23:00,087
maybe I should be Jon Snow
for Halloween.
503
00:23:00,098 --> 00:23:02,313
What about you?
Who are you gonna be?
504
00:23:03,284 --> 00:23:05,202
BLUE: I'm not dressing up.
For me,
505
00:23:05,213 --> 00:23:06,619
Halloween's all about
the Oreos
506
00:23:06,630 --> 00:23:08,579
with the orange frosting
in the middle.
507
00:23:10,214 --> 00:23:11,955
-Hey, hey, hey!
-Hey.
508
00:23:11,999 --> 00:23:14,436
Wow. Look at that smile.
You're glowing, man.
509
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:14,991
No.
510
00:23:15,002 --> 00:23:16,645
You are glowing.
You look happy.
511
00:23:16,656 --> 00:23:17,700
Oh, just regular.
512
00:23:17,744 --> 00:23:18,832
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
513
00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:20,343
Me too. I'm a little meh.
514
00:23:21,668 --> 00:23:23,148
Why "meh"?
515
00:23:23,159 --> 00:23:26,916
Oh, I had my big Tinder date
last night. Oh, God.
516
00:23:26,927 --> 00:23:28,885
She was not into it.
[chuckles]
517
00:23:29,495 --> 00:23:30,843
At. All.
518
00:23:31,148 --> 00:23:32,367
[bell ringing]
519
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:34,108
-Oh, come on. Too soon.
-No.
520
00:23:34,151 --> 00:23:35,501
The bell is a buzzkill.
521
00:23:35,544 --> 00:23:37,788
-See you, Mr. Worth.
-All right.
522
00:23:38,232 --> 00:23:39,451
[Simon sighs]
523
00:23:39,462 --> 00:23:40,675
Well, thank you
for your help, Fraulein.
524
00:23:40,686 --> 00:23:42,079
You're welcome.
525
00:23:42,090 --> 00:23:45,366
German accent for Cabaret.
Yup. Take care, Ms. Bradley.
526
00:23:46,947 --> 00:23:47,904
Ladies.
527
00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:52,169
Let's see what you got,
interwebs.
528
00:23:58,235 --> 00:23:59,905
LEAH: Here are
your burnt tots,
529
00:23:59,916 --> 00:24:02,018
because you have
horrible taste.
530
00:24:02,702 --> 00:24:04,051
SIMON: Here's your
green banana,
531
00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:05,721
because you like
disgusting things.
532
00:24:05,748 --> 00:24:06,924
Wow, you guys are weird.
533
00:24:06,935 --> 00:24:09,155
Yup. They're practically
Cantonese twins.
534
00:24:09,407 --> 00:24:11,534
-Siamese.
-Yeah. Siamese.
535
00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:13,756
Yeah, agree to disagree.
536
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,192
I don't think
that's one of those things
537
00:24:15,236 --> 00:24:16,542
where you can
agree to disagree.
538
00:24:16,585 --> 00:24:17,586
...disagree.
-It's just right.
539
00:24:17,630 --> 00:24:19,229
NICK: To each his own.
540
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,401
BRAM: Oreos.
541
00:24:21,372 --> 00:24:22,932
Man, I love those.
542
00:24:22,983 --> 00:24:24,158
Halloween ones
are the best, right?
543
00:24:24,201 --> 00:24:25,115
Yeah.
544
00:24:26,317 --> 00:24:28,064
Er, so, guys, I have great news.
545
00:24:28,075 --> 00:24:29,816
My aunt's boyfriend
just took off
546
00:24:29,859 --> 00:24:31,513
with her car
and all her jewelry.
547
00:24:31,557 --> 00:24:32,955
Bram, that's terrible news!
548
00:24:32,966 --> 00:24:34,315
I know, but it's like,
549
00:24:34,326 --> 00:24:35,457
the third time
it's happened to her.
550
00:24:35,468 --> 00:24:37,284
She has really bad taste in men.
551
00:24:37,533 --> 00:24:40,415
Anyways, my mom is going down
to Orlando to deal with it
552
00:24:40,426 --> 00:24:43,682
which means I get to throw
a Halloween party.
553
00:24:44,613 --> 00:24:45,875
-Awesome!
-Yay!
554
00:24:45,919 --> 00:24:47,311
Nice!
555
00:24:47,355 --> 00:24:48,835
Thank you,
Bram's dumb-ass aunt!
556
00:24:48,878 --> 00:24:50,489
All right, this is
gonna be epic, you guys.
557
00:24:50,532 --> 00:24:52,316
I can bring
my karaoke machine.
558
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,057
All right, hey, guys,
Halloween party Friday night!
559
00:24:54,068 --> 00:24:56,254
Friday night, Halloween party,
okay? Bram's house!
560
00:24:56,265 --> 00:24:57,876
You really set this
in motion, man.
561
00:24:57,887 --> 00:24:58,776
I know, right?
562
00:24:58,787 --> 00:24:59,620
-Hey, little guy.
-Me?
563
00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:02,971
Halloween party. Friday night.
Bram's house. Be there.
564
00:25:03,023 --> 00:25:03,980
You're gonna
freak him out, man.
565
00:25:04,024 --> 00:25:05,373
GARRETT: Yeah.
566
00:25:05,883 --> 00:25:08,305
LEAH: I know.
He's, like, nine years old.
567
00:25:14,038 --> 00:25:16,721
BLUE: Very relieved that
we're in agreement on Oreos.
568
00:25:16,732 --> 00:25:19,336
That would have been
a deal-breaker for me.
569
00:25:19,347 --> 00:25:23,078
On a totally different,
non-cookie related note...
570
00:25:23,541 --> 00:25:26,152
is it weird that I have no idea what you look like,
571
00:25:26,163 --> 00:25:29,166
but I can't stop thinking
about kissing you.
572
00:25:31,024 --> 00:25:33,287
TEACHER: Simon. Simon.
573
00:25:34,653 --> 00:25:36,398
Eyes on your own test.
574
00:25:45,466 --> 00:25:47,424
Don't stop on my account,
Rob and Brianne.
575
00:25:47,435 --> 00:25:49,132
That's the most action
I've seen in weeks.
576
00:25:49,143 --> 00:25:50,865
What do we got here? Ah!
577
00:25:50,876 --> 00:25:53,138
When we're done,
it's gonna look
578
00:25:53,149 --> 00:25:56,568
like a real German sex club.
Don't ask me how I know.
579
00:25:57,207 --> 00:26:00,123
Hey! Hey! The spray paint
is for painting,
580
00:26:00,167 --> 00:26:01,124
not for huffing.
581
00:26:01,690 --> 00:26:03,594
You don't want
to get good at that.
582
00:26:03,605 --> 00:26:05,128
Okay, do you guys think
I should dye my hair grey
583
00:26:05,172 --> 00:26:07,008
-to play Fraulein Schneider?
-Sure.
584
00:26:07,118 --> 00:26:08,730
TAYLOR: Really? But my hair
is kind of like my thing.
585
00:26:08,741 --> 00:26:10,514
I'm gonna go get a soda.
586
00:26:10,525 --> 00:26:11,733
Do you want anything?
587
00:26:11,744 --> 00:26:12,632
No.
588
00:26:12,643 --> 00:26:14,884
MS. ALBRIGHT: You disgust me.
589
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:24,887
Simon! Hey, hey, hey.
590
00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:26,323
-Hey, Martin.
-Buddy.
591
00:26:26,652 --> 00:26:30,296
Hey, um, I used the computer
in the library right after you.
592
00:26:30,937 --> 00:26:32,108
-Okay.
-Mm-hmm.
593
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:35,632
Well, I went to Gmail,
and it pulled up your account.
594
00:26:36,029 --> 00:26:37,900
And I, uh, read
some of your emails.
595
00:26:37,944 --> 00:26:39,510
I know
I probably shouldn't've,
596
00:26:39,554 --> 00:26:41,240
but they were, like,
right there. [chuckles]
597
00:26:41,251 --> 00:26:44,319
So you'll be interested
to know my brother's gay.
598
00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:49,815
No. Martin, that wouldn't
interest me to know.
599
00:26:50,298 --> 00:26:52,827
Okay. Don't worry.
I won't show anyone.
600
00:26:53,481 --> 00:26:55,202
Show anyone what?
601
00:26:57,267 --> 00:26:58,791
Did you print my emails
or something?
602
00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:00,662
Oh, no, no. [chuckles]
603
00:27:01,358 --> 00:27:02,969
I screenshot them.
604
00:27:03,012 --> 00:27:05,275
-You screenshotted my emails?
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
605
00:27:05,319 --> 00:27:07,319
Let me talk to you for a second.
606
00:27:07,974 --> 00:27:09,758
-Oh, Ms. Bradley.
-MS. BRADLEY: Hello, Martin.
607
00:27:09,802 --> 00:27:11,589
-Did you feather your hair?
-No.
608
00:27:12,239 --> 00:27:13,988
MARTIN: Looking good.
609
00:27:14,371 --> 00:27:15,934
This is a good section.
610
00:27:15,945 --> 00:27:17,481
MARTIN: Jeez.
611
00:27:18,326 --> 00:27:20,889
Now, why the hell
did you screenshot my emails?
612
00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:23,772
Ah, well, you and Abby Susso
are good friends. Right?
613
00:27:23,783 --> 00:27:25,578
Yeah. We know each other.
614
00:27:25,589 --> 00:27:26,982
What does that have to do
with anything?
615
00:27:26,993 --> 00:27:29,419
Well, I need you to help me
talk with her...
616
00:27:29,430 --> 00:27:31,214
and hang out with her
and stuff, you know?
617
00:27:31,475 --> 00:27:33,504
Why would I help you do that?
618
00:27:34,690 --> 00:27:36,257
Are you blackmailing me?
619
00:27:36,268 --> 00:27:38,994
Oh, shh! Okay. Don't be
so dramatic here, Simon.
620
00:27:39,005 --> 00:27:40,082
SIMON: Sup, Tyler?
621
00:27:40,093 --> 00:27:42,824
MARTIN: What's up, Tyler?
Is that a Patagonia?
622
00:27:42,835 --> 00:27:45,238
Nice. I just like her.
623
00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,449
And I think
that you could help me.
624
00:27:48,783 --> 00:27:50,611
Yeah, what if I say no, Martin?
625
00:27:50,622 --> 00:27:52,426
I mean, what are you gonna do?
626
00:27:52,453 --> 00:27:53,270
You gonna tell the whole school
that I'm...
627
00:27:53,676 --> 00:27:55,543
You're gonna leak my emails?
628
00:27:55,586 --> 00:27:57,153
You're gonna post 'em
on CreekSecrets?
629
00:27:57,197 --> 00:27:59,465
I just think
that we're in a position here,
630
00:27:59,476 --> 00:28:01,624
where we could help
each other out is all.
631
00:28:02,202 --> 00:28:03,348
So think about it.
632
00:28:04,004 --> 00:28:04,918
Good talk.
633
00:28:12,865 --> 00:28:14,954
You know, I never thought
of a pepper
634
00:28:14,997 --> 00:28:16,172
-as being a vegetable...
-[cell phone chimes]
635
00:28:16,216 --> 00:28:18,103
...but it makes perfect sense.
636
00:28:18,131 --> 00:28:20,949
EMILY: I like the cilantro.
A little Mexican flair, huh?
637
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:22,733
JACK: Very creative, kiddo.
638
00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:24,868
You hate the peppers.
Don't you?
639
00:28:25,253 --> 00:28:27,290
No. The peppers are great.
640
00:28:28,418 --> 00:28:30,267
I'm just gonna get some air.
641
00:28:40,895 --> 00:28:43,962
BRAM: Jacques, I have to get
something off my chest.
642
00:28:43,983 --> 00:28:45,462
The other day, you asked me
643
00:28:45,506 --> 00:28:47,029
what I was wearing
for Halloween
644
00:28:47,073 --> 00:28:49,239
and I said
I wasn't dressing up.
645
00:28:49,510 --> 00:28:51,056
I lied. Truth is,
646
00:28:51,067 --> 00:28:52,927
I didn't want you to know
what I was wearing
647
00:28:52,938 --> 00:28:55,743
because I don't want you
to know who I am.
648
00:28:56,822 --> 00:28:57,900
Right now, these emails,
649
00:28:57,911 --> 00:29:00,057
they feel like
this totally safe place.
650
00:29:00,913 --> 00:29:03,252
I'm just not ready
for my whole world to change.
651
00:29:03,263 --> 00:29:04,941
I hope you understand.
652
00:29:04,952 --> 00:29:06,780
[indistinct conversation]
653
00:29:11,676 --> 00:29:14,449
SIMON: Yes, Blue. I understand.
654
00:29:30,159 --> 00:29:32,074
[sniffing]
655
00:29:32,886 --> 00:29:34,642
Okay, if you want me
to help you with Abby,
656
00:29:34,685 --> 00:29:36,241
you cannot eat that.
657
00:29:36,252 --> 00:29:37,754
So you're gonna help me?
658
00:29:37,819 --> 00:29:38,733
Yeah.
659
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:40,996
[chuckles]
660
00:29:41,366 --> 00:29:44,369
Simon, that is fantastic news.
661
00:29:45,174 --> 00:29:46,915
I really think that Abby and I
are meant to be together.
662
00:29:46,959 --> 00:29:48,308
-Really? Do you?
-Mm-hmm.
663
00:29:48,351 --> 00:29:49,744
It's not all about looks, Simon.
664
00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:52,225
Okay. So you're banking
on your great,
665
00:29:52,268 --> 00:29:54,357
blackmaily personality
to get the job done?
666
00:29:54,401 --> 00:29:56,490
-Where are we going?
-Your place.
667
00:29:56,533 --> 00:29:57,883
We're gonna see
if you have anything
668
00:29:57,926 --> 00:29:59,493
that doesn't scream,
"punch me."
669
00:29:59,536 --> 00:30:01,582
Actually, I've got swim lessons.
670
00:30:01,596 --> 00:30:02,714
Cancel it!
671
00:30:03,289 --> 00:30:05,339
MARTIN: Okay, I just have to
call my mom first.
672
00:30:05,350 --> 00:30:08,246
She has to approve everybody
that comes in the house.
673
00:30:09,285 --> 00:30:10,983
All right. Here we go.
674
00:30:12,767 --> 00:30:15,117
All right. And here we are.
675
00:30:16,727 --> 00:30:17,859
This is where the magic happens.
676
00:30:17,903 --> 00:30:18,817
Wow.
677
00:30:19,165 --> 00:30:21,602
Ooh. Correction. [chuckles]
678
00:30:22,211 --> 00:30:24,387
This is where the magic happens.
679
00:30:26,041 --> 00:30:28,119
I've been dabbling
in close-up illusions.
680
00:30:28,130 --> 00:30:29,436
Does Abby like magic?
681
00:30:29,613 --> 00:30:31,470
No. Martin, I don't think
she does like magic.
682
00:30:31,481 --> 00:30:33,222
But, um,
there's a really thin line
683
00:30:33,266 --> 00:30:35,921
between laughing with someone,
and laughing at someone.
684
00:30:36,384 --> 00:30:37,777
And you are that line.
685
00:30:37,805 --> 00:30:39,154
So,
if you want Abby to like you,
686
00:30:39,165 --> 00:30:40,188
what you have to do
is you have to
687
00:30:40,199 --> 00:30:42,029
make her see you
as more of a...
688
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,259
As sexy Martin!
689
00:30:44,059 --> 00:30:46,192
Yeah! Yeah, I could be sexy.
690
00:30:48,585 --> 00:30:50,266
You like dudes. Tell me.
691
00:30:50,674 --> 00:30:52,067
What part of me
do you find the hottest?
692
00:30:52,111 --> 00:30:54,069
-No. I'm not doing this.
-No. Come on.
693
00:30:54,113 --> 00:30:55,592
No, Martin.
I don't want to answer that.
694
00:30:55,636 --> 00:30:57,116
Look, if you said my shoulders
695
00:30:57,159 --> 00:30:59,619
I would dress to accentuate.
You know?
696
00:30:59,988 --> 00:31:02,166
You know what?
Here's your first tip.
697
00:31:02,253 --> 00:31:03,559
Ripped.
698
00:31:03,641 --> 00:31:06,165
Girls, they don't want
to read your clothes.
699
00:31:06,239 --> 00:31:07,544
I think you're wrong
about that one.
700
00:31:08,101 --> 00:31:10,134
How many of these do you have?
701
00:31:10,303 --> 00:31:13,306
Please, just stop! Hey! Stop!
702
00:31:13,741 --> 00:31:16,580
Look, I don't want your help
in changing me.
703
00:31:16,919 --> 00:31:20,183
I want your help in getting
Abby to like me for me.
704
00:31:22,968 --> 00:31:23,969
Look. Um...
705
00:31:26,014 --> 00:31:28,887
there's a party this Saturday.
At Bram's.
706
00:31:31,636 --> 00:31:33,706
Do you want to go
with my friends and I?
707
00:31:33,717 --> 00:31:34,631
Yes!
708
00:31:34,879 --> 00:31:36,994
Yes! So simple.
709
00:31:37,837 --> 00:31:39,404
Must be why
they call you Simple Simon.
710
00:31:39,810 --> 00:31:41,728
Nobody calls me that, Martin.
711
00:31:42,206 --> 00:31:44,822
Hey, uh, do you want to,
like, sleep over?
712
00:31:45,101 --> 00:31:46,150
SIMON: Nope.
713
00:31:56,349 --> 00:31:57,437
Oh, hello.
714
00:31:58,046 --> 00:31:59,254
Hey, what's up?
715
00:31:59,278 --> 00:32:00,820
-Nice, right?
-LEAH: Nick.
716
00:32:00,831 --> 00:32:01,723
Good?
717
00:32:01,734 --> 00:32:04,278
This is, like, a new level of
laziness, even for you.
718
00:32:04,289 --> 00:32:06,575
What do you mean?
I'm Cristiano Ronaldo.
719
00:32:06,586 --> 00:32:07,979
And you couldn't
even be bothered
720
00:32:07,990 --> 00:32:09,270
to fill in the letters
on the back?
721
00:32:09,281 --> 00:32:11,022
No, come on. Give me that.
722
00:32:12,669 --> 00:32:14,889
-You are a bully.
-[laughs]
723
00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:18,403
[In a British accent] Hey. Don't
talk about Yoko that way, man.
724
00:32:18,458 --> 00:32:20,575
Because if you do,
you're out of the band.
725
00:32:20,586 --> 00:32:22,543
Who are you guys
supposed to be?
726
00:32:23,853 --> 00:32:25,676
John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
727
00:32:25,991 --> 00:32:27,949
Oh! I thought she was the girl
from The Ring,
728
00:32:28,033 --> 00:32:29,301
and you were Jesus.
729
00:32:29,312 --> 00:32:32,802
Jesus? No. Why would Jesus be
wearing a white suit?
730
00:32:32,813 --> 00:32:34,639
I don't know. You tell me.
731
00:32:34,650 --> 00:32:35,651
You're the one who decided to
dress up like fancy Jesus.
732
00:32:35,674 --> 00:32:37,596
Oh, my God. Okay. Come here.
733
00:32:37,607 --> 00:32:38,652
-Turn around.
-I'm here.
734
00:32:38,695 --> 00:32:39,696
-Turn around.
-Okay.
735
00:32:40,523 --> 00:32:41,568
-Okay.
-Is it good?
736
00:32:41,611 --> 00:32:42,348
-Way better.
-Is it?
737
00:32:42,359 --> 00:32:43,666
Yeah. Now, we need to do
something about this hair.
738
00:32:43,677 --> 00:32:44,965
Maybe slick it back?
739
00:32:44,976 --> 00:32:47,247
NICK: It doesn't do that.
It doesn't slick back.
740
00:32:47,748 --> 00:32:48,836
Wonder Woman in the hizzy!
741
00:32:48,879 --> 00:32:49,926
NICK: Hi!
742
00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:52,100
I made up a catchphrase,
743
00:32:52,144 --> 00:32:53,637
'cause Wonder Woman
doesn't have one.
744
00:32:54,711 --> 00:32:55,875
"Hizzy" means house.
745
00:32:55,886 --> 00:32:56,975
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
746
00:32:57,018 --> 00:32:58,372
-Right. Yeah.
-Yeah.
747
00:32:58,846 --> 00:33:00,489
Oh, Abby, you look amazing.
748
00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:01,414
Thank you!
749
00:33:02,763 --> 00:33:04,069
Yeah. You look awesome.
750
00:33:05,070 --> 00:33:06,506
I'm gonna go make
those frozen pizzas.
751
00:33:07,115 --> 00:33:08,073
NICK: All right.
752
00:33:08,116 --> 00:33:09,291
Yeah, I'll help.
753
00:33:11,163 --> 00:33:12,642
That's a nice costume, for real.
754
00:33:12,686 --> 00:33:15,210
Thank you.
What? Cristiano Ronaldo!
755
00:33:15,254 --> 00:33:16,168
Nailed it.
756
00:33:17,299 --> 00:33:18,170
Do you remember
when we went to school
757
00:33:18,213 --> 00:33:19,345
dressed as Charlie's Angels?
758
00:33:19,388 --> 00:33:20,792
Oh, my God, yes.
759
00:33:20,803 --> 00:33:22,543
And Nick's balls fell out
of his booty shorts
760
00:33:22,554 --> 00:33:25,558
when he, like, dropped down
to do the gun pose?
761
00:33:25,612 --> 00:33:27,614
Mm. Do you miss
trick-or-treating?
762
00:33:27,657 --> 00:33:28,789
What, you mean
instead of, like,
763
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:29,735
going to loud parties
764
00:33:29,778 --> 00:33:31,415
pretending to like
the taste of beer
765
00:33:31,437 --> 00:33:33,149
and feeling too self-conscious
to dance?
766
00:33:33,161 --> 00:33:34,740
I don't know why
you feel self-conscious.
767
00:33:34,751 --> 00:33:37,058
I mean, you are very clearly
768
00:33:37,102 --> 00:33:38,978
the coolest person
at our school.
769
00:33:38,989 --> 00:33:42,398
I'm pretty sure you're
the only one who feels that way.
770
00:33:43,389 --> 00:33:44,303
But thank you.
771
00:33:46,682 --> 00:33:49,336
[doorbell ringing]
772
00:33:50,289 --> 00:33:51,203
Who's that?
773
00:33:52,117 --> 00:33:53,241
I invited Martin.
774
00:33:53,252 --> 00:33:54,906
-Martin Addison?
-[groans] Why?
775
00:33:54,917 --> 00:33:56,936
Is this a Make-A-Wish situation?
776
00:33:56,947 --> 00:33:58,427
[doorbell continues ringing]
777
00:33:58,471 --> 00:33:59,385
No, he's cool.
778
00:34:01,430 --> 00:34:02,605
Hey.
779
00:34:03,737 --> 00:34:05,043
Oh, looking sharp.
780
00:34:05,054 --> 00:34:06,316
What the...
781
00:34:06,414 --> 00:34:09,006
-MARTIN: Guys.
-What are you supposed to be?
782
00:34:09,134 --> 00:34:10,222
Isn't it obvious?
783
00:34:11,266 --> 00:34:13,268
Ah! I'm a Freudian slip.
784
00:34:15,426 --> 00:34:17,443
Abby. Wonder Woman.
785
00:34:21,929 --> 00:34:23,833
NICK: Just pick a song already.
786
00:34:23,844 --> 00:34:25,933
Hey, Nick, uh,
can you not rush me?
787
00:34:25,976 --> 00:34:27,678
[laughing]
788
00:34:27,707 --> 00:34:29,100
ABBY: Honestly, I can't
choose. There's so many.
789
00:34:29,111 --> 00:34:30,303
That's like Netflix.
790
00:34:30,314 --> 00:34:32,317
You know, trying to pick
a film on Netflix.
791
00:34:32,328 --> 00:34:35,244
I'm like... [groans]
"Am I in an Apatow mood,
792
00:34:35,255 --> 00:34:37,930
or am I in a Billy Wilder
mood?" You know?
793
00:34:37,941 --> 00:34:40,030
Ooh, play Drake. Yes.
794
00:34:40,233 --> 00:34:43,193
Uh, no. Drake is, like,
super played out at this point.
795
00:34:44,070 --> 00:34:46,383
You can't play out a rap god.
Doesn't happen. Impossible.
796
00:34:46,394 --> 00:34:48,091
First of all,
he's not a rap god.
797
00:34:48,177 --> 00:34:50,410
And second of all,
I'm looking for some Beyoncé.
798
00:34:50,421 --> 00:34:52,328
-Oh.
-I just can't find "Lemonade."
799
00:34:52,339 --> 00:34:53,993
Hey. Here's an
interesting question.
800
00:34:54,004 --> 00:34:54,913
I love Beyoncé.
801
00:34:54,924 --> 00:34:56,083
What makes you guys
feel nostalgic?
802
00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:56,788
You do?
803
00:34:56,799 --> 00:34:59,655
I mean, I think everybody
kinda likes Beyoncé.
804
00:34:59,666 --> 00:35:01,736
Grape soda makes me
feel very nostalgic.
805
00:35:01,747 --> 00:35:04,308
-What are you talking about?
-What makes you feel nostalgic?
806
00:35:04,319 --> 00:35:05,625
Hey, Abby.
807
00:35:05,636 --> 00:35:08,218
I bet you're gonna have
the best costume tonight.
808
00:35:08,323 --> 00:35:10,405
-Thanks.
-Nah, you're welcome.
809
00:35:11,152 --> 00:35:12,371
[Martin mocking]
810
00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:15,358
What the hell, Spier?
811
00:35:15,382 --> 00:35:17,819
Hey, why is Nick
still flirting with Abby?
812
00:35:17,830 --> 00:35:19,222
SIMON: I don't know, Martin.
813
00:35:19,233 --> 00:35:21,047
Maybe you shouldn't have
worn a dress.
814
00:35:21,438 --> 00:35:24,593
You look like a drag queen rolled
around in magnetic poetry.
815
00:35:24,824 --> 00:35:26,968
[music playing]
816
00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:28,387
Hey, Abby!
817
00:35:28,691 --> 00:35:30,345
Whenever you need a refill
of your drink,
818
00:35:30,389 --> 00:35:32,086
I'll be
your designated bartender.
819
00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:33,131
So don't worry.
820
00:35:33,348 --> 00:35:35,394
Okay. Hey, Chloe, come here!
821
00:35:35,655 --> 00:35:37,004
Yo, yo, yo!
822
00:35:37,047 --> 00:35:39,746
Hey. John Lennon?
823
00:35:39,789 --> 00:35:41,356
-Yeah. You got it.
-Nice.
824
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,271
And, um, Nick...
825
00:35:43,282 --> 00:35:47,241
-You're Nick.
-No. No. I'm Ronaldo.
826
00:35:47,493 --> 00:35:49,321
-Oh. My bad.
-Obviously.
827
00:35:49,367 --> 00:35:50,716
Who are you supposed to be?
828
00:35:50,727 --> 00:35:53,643
Oh. Uh... I am post-presidency
Barack Obama.
829
00:35:53,654 --> 00:35:56,366
So I'm just chillin' in
Hawaii, drinking Mai Tais,
830
00:35:56,377 --> 00:35:57,987
writing memoirs and hoping
831
00:35:57,998 --> 00:36:00,319
Trump doesn't destroy
my legacy.
832
00:36:00,330 --> 00:36:02,463
-[both chuckle]
-That's awesome.
833
00:36:02,484 --> 00:36:05,089
Thanks. Now let's go
to the bar. Come on.
834
00:36:05,100 --> 00:36:06,014
BOTH: Yeah.
835
00:36:06,025 --> 00:36:07,382
Hell yeah.
836
00:36:08,763 --> 00:36:10,374
[rapping] ♪ My name is
My sign is ♪
837
00:36:10,385 --> 00:36:12,213
-No, Garrett, no.
- ♪ My number is
838
00:36:12,257 --> 00:36:14,607
♪ You need to let it go
Need to let it go ♪
839
00:36:14,650 --> 00:36:16,348
♪ Need to let it go
840
00:36:16,391 --> 00:36:18,727
♪ Nah to the ah
to the no, no, no... ♪
841
00:36:18,785 --> 00:36:20,090
♪ Whatchu gonna say?
842
00:36:20,133 --> 00:36:22,169
All right, we should
have a little toast.
843
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:23,360
No, thanks. I'm driving.
844
00:36:23,371 --> 00:36:24,503
And Simon doesn't
really drink.
845
00:36:24,514 --> 00:36:26,070
No, I drink. It's cool. I drink.
846
00:36:26,081 --> 00:36:27,256
-All right, that's my man.
-NICK: Really?
847
00:36:27,267 --> 00:36:28,485
You wouldn't even have a glass
848
00:36:28,496 --> 00:36:29,735
of Manischewitz
at Leah's Seder.
849
00:36:29,746 --> 00:36:32,360
It's Halloween, man.
It's a special occasion.
850
00:36:32,371 --> 00:36:33,285
True that.
851
00:36:33,569 --> 00:36:34,914
BOTH: Cheers.
852
00:36:35,932 --> 00:36:36,846
[gagging]
853
00:36:39,241 --> 00:36:40,634
-You okay?
-[coughing]
854
00:36:40,645 --> 00:36:44,258
[dance music playing]
855
00:36:44,269 --> 00:36:46,648
You're good at this.
You got this.
856
00:36:50,077 --> 00:36:53,733
Abby is the hottest
Wonder Woman I have ever seen.
857
00:36:53,973 --> 00:36:54,891
SIMON: Yeah.
858
00:36:54,902 --> 00:36:56,859
The shit that I would let her
do to me with that lasso.
859
00:36:56,870 --> 00:36:58,001
Oh, I know, man.
860
00:36:58,012 --> 00:37:00,521
Just, like, tie me up
with that thing.
861
00:37:00,532 --> 00:37:02,296
You're not into Abby, are you?
862
00:37:02,307 --> 00:37:03,203
No, no, no.
863
00:37:03,214 --> 00:37:05,211
I mean, it's not like I...
She's cute...
864
00:37:05,222 --> 00:37:05,844
Yeah.
865
00:37:05,855 --> 00:37:07,695
...but she's just not really
my type.
866
00:37:09,189 --> 00:37:12,061
Not because she's black.
I love black women.
867
00:37:12,424 --> 00:37:14,557
Not like, you know, I have
a thing for black women,
868
00:37:14,568 --> 00:37:16,440
I just love all women.
869
00:37:19,149 --> 00:37:20,934
-Oh, oh. Oh!
-Oh!
870
00:37:21,195 --> 00:37:24,141
-Oh, hey.
-Hey! Oh, hey.
871
00:37:24,926 --> 00:37:27,363
Hey. Mm.
872
00:37:29,416 --> 00:37:31,961
-I'm gonna go ask her out.
-What? No.
873
00:37:32,206 --> 00:37:33,437
-No? No?
-No.
874
00:37:33,448 --> 00:37:35,755
-You can't ask Abby out.
-Why not?
875
00:37:35,766 --> 00:37:39,961
Because. She didn't tell you
about Jonathan?
876
00:37:40,274 --> 00:37:41,318
She didn't tell you about that?
877
00:37:41,329 --> 00:37:42,684
-No.
-He's older.
878
00:37:42,695 --> 00:37:44,523
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
-In college.
879
00:37:44,903 --> 00:37:46,339
He's really experienced.
880
00:37:49,223 --> 00:37:50,485
You know I've only had sex
once, right?
881
00:37:50,529 --> 00:37:51,403
I know that.
882
00:37:51,414 --> 00:37:53,085
You know,
it's like no one tells you
883
00:37:53,096 --> 00:37:54,533
how dark everything is
884
00:37:54,544 --> 00:37:56,068
and how slippery everything
gets, and, you know,
885
00:37:56,079 --> 00:37:57,515
the parts you think
are the right parts
886
00:37:57,526 --> 00:37:59,498
are actually
the wrong parts and...
887
00:38:00,289 --> 00:38:03,396
All right, I'm gonna go eat
my feelings away.
888
00:38:03,903 --> 00:38:04,928
Man, I'm sorry...
889
00:38:04,939 --> 00:38:07,085
NICK: No, it's okay.
Don't worry about it.
890
00:38:08,851 --> 00:38:09,765
Whoa, whoa.
891
00:38:14,683 --> 00:38:15,858
-BRAM: Hey, Simon!
-Hey.
892
00:38:15,902 --> 00:38:17,414
Hey, you wanna play Beirut?
893
00:38:17,425 --> 00:38:18,513
Yeah. Sure.
894
00:38:18,524 --> 00:38:20,417
We just need two more people.
895
00:38:20,428 --> 00:38:22,809
How about you and me,
and then, um...
896
00:38:22,879 --> 00:38:24,554
Let me... I insist.
897
00:38:24,690 --> 00:38:26,419
Abby and Martin?
898
00:38:26,826 --> 00:38:28,131
-BRAM: Okay, cool.
-SIMON: Hey, Martin.
899
00:38:28,175 --> 00:38:29,470
-MARTIN: Yeah.
-SIMON: Abby.
900
00:38:29,481 --> 00:38:30,873
Let's play Beirut.
901
00:38:30,917 --> 00:38:32,571
-No, I don't...
-Yeah. Let's do it.
902
00:38:32,614 --> 00:38:34,834
Come on, let's go.
It'll be fun. It'll be fun.
903
00:38:34,877 --> 00:38:37,101
Good old competition.
[chuckles]
904
00:38:37,183 --> 00:38:38,999
-Ready?
-Yeah, I'm ready.
905
00:38:39,775 --> 00:38:41,299
Beirut. Right?
906
00:38:41,341 --> 00:38:42,908
-Yes!
-[sighs]
907
00:38:42,919 --> 00:38:44,833
Okay. Have you ever played
Beirut before?
908
00:38:44,844 --> 00:38:46,062
Uh, totally. Yeah.
909
00:38:46,590 --> 00:38:49,811
Great. All right, so,
two reracks, no blowing
910
00:38:49,822 --> 00:38:51,077
and two balls in the cup means
911
00:38:51,088 --> 00:38:52,509
that you have to
take three, okay?
912
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:53,652
Okay. Cool.
913
00:38:53,895 --> 00:38:55,554
I thought we were talking
about a different game.
914
00:38:55,582 --> 00:38:56,714
We'll just explain
as we go. Okay?
915
00:38:56,725 --> 00:38:57,639
-Yeah.
-Okay. Got it.
916
00:38:57,650 --> 00:38:58,999
SIMON: Ready?
917
00:38:59,010 --> 00:39:01,226
-Maybe you should take these...
-Oh.
918
00:39:02,775 --> 00:39:05,670
-You'll see better. Right?
-Good idea. Yeah.
919
00:39:06,213 --> 00:39:07,910
-All you.
-Raindrop!
920
00:39:07,954 --> 00:39:09,347
MARTIN: Here we go, all right.
You got this one.
921
00:39:09,652 --> 00:39:11,967
Oh, is that...
This is mine to drink?
922
00:39:13,699 --> 00:39:14,613
God.
923
00:39:15,875 --> 00:39:16,789
Oh!
924
00:39:18,617 --> 00:39:19,618
All right.
925
00:39:19,661 --> 00:39:21,228
ALL: Chug! Chug! Chug!
926
00:39:22,403 --> 00:39:23,709
[imitates explosion]
927
00:39:23,752 --> 00:39:25,352
Do we need a handshake?
Is that...
928
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:26,712
You get one of these in
929
00:39:26,755 --> 00:39:28,389
and we can totally have
a handshake.
930
00:39:28,627 --> 00:39:29,845
Fly it away. Fly it away.
931
00:39:31,281 --> 00:39:32,979
Chug, chug, chug.
932
00:39:33,331 --> 00:39:34,593
-MARTIN: Sweet!
-All right.
933
00:39:34,676 --> 00:39:35,590
[belches]
934
00:39:36,852 --> 00:39:38,637
♪ As long as you love me
935
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,770
♪ We could be starving
We could be homeless ♪
936
00:39:41,814 --> 00:39:43,282
♪ We could be loved
937
00:39:43,293 --> 00:39:45,162
♪ As long as you love me
938
00:39:45,252 --> 00:39:47,428
[all cheering]
939
00:39:50,083 --> 00:39:52,520
♪ Why can't I get
Just one screw ♪
940
00:39:52,564 --> 00:39:55,001
♪ Baby, I know what to do
941
00:39:55,044 --> 00:39:58,108
♪ But something won't let me
Make love to you ♪
942
00:39:58,119 --> 00:40:01,354
♪ Day after day
943
00:40:02,530 --> 00:40:07,230
♪ I get angry and I will say
944
00:40:12,061 --> 00:40:15,992
Hey, Bram. It's me, Jacques.
945
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:20,461
Hey, Bram. I'm Jacques.
946
00:40:23,333 --> 00:40:27,163
Hey, Barack. It's me, Jacques.
947
00:40:29,329 --> 00:40:31,244
[sighs] Why did I pick Jacques?
948
00:40:31,746 --> 00:40:33,451
BOY: Yeah, no problem.
949
00:40:33,509 --> 00:40:34,597
[girls laughing]
950
00:40:34,929 --> 00:40:40,109
["Monster Mash" playing]
951
00:40:48,663 --> 00:40:49,577
Oh.
952
00:40:50,534 --> 00:40:53,336
I'm sorry, I thought
this was the bathroom.
953
00:40:54,721 --> 00:40:55,635
Sorry.
954
00:41:02,547 --> 00:41:05,516
-I'm starting to get so tired!
-I am so tired.
955
00:41:08,204 --> 00:41:10,032
Hey, Martin, not now, man.
All right?
956
00:41:10,076 --> 00:41:11,477
I've had a big night.
957
00:41:13,154 --> 00:41:14,199
Oh!
958
00:41:14,288 --> 00:41:16,769
Really? Really?
959
00:41:17,985 --> 00:41:19,857
[groans] I'm sorry.
960
00:41:19,955 --> 00:41:21,566
-Come on!
-[Martin coughing]
961
00:41:24,569 --> 00:41:26,092
-LEAH: What are you doing?
-I don't know.
962
00:41:27,441 --> 00:41:28,311
[Leah sighs]
963
00:41:29,095 --> 00:41:30,618
♪ Willkommen
964
00:41:30,662 --> 00:41:33,186
-Are you serious?
-♪ Bienvenue
965
00:41:33,665 --> 00:41:37,190
♪ Welcome...
Whoa. Careful.
966
00:41:37,451 --> 00:41:40,158
Okay, come on.
We gotta get you home.
967
00:41:43,152 --> 00:41:45,415
-Look, we're so close!
-Oh, my God!
968
00:41:45,459 --> 00:41:46,721
Wait, what?
969
00:41:46,732 --> 00:41:49,229
-Dude, my parents are still up.
-Oh, God.
970
00:41:49,245 --> 00:41:51,955
-Oh...
-Okay, you know what... Come on.
971
00:41:52,074 --> 00:41:54,141
I need you to think of
something really sad...
972
00:41:54,152 --> 00:41:55,458
Uh-huh.
973
00:41:55,469 --> 00:41:56,905
Like, the documentary
about how all the whales
974
00:41:56,949 --> 00:41:57,863
hate living at SeaWorld.
975
00:41:57,906 --> 00:41:59,299
Too sad!
976
00:41:59,342 --> 00:42:00,474
God. Okay, then just,
you know what,
977
00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,160
don't say anything at all...
978
00:42:02,171 --> 00:42:04,183
And we'll ditch the barf shirt
till tomorrow.
979
00:42:04,194 --> 00:42:05,108
SIMON: Okay.
980
00:42:05,730 --> 00:42:07,122
-LEAH: Si?
-SIMON: Yeah.
981
00:42:07,307 --> 00:42:08,917
LEAH: Just as little
as possible,
982
00:42:08,961 --> 00:42:10,783
say as little as possible.
983
00:42:11,093 --> 00:42:14,096
[door creaks]
984
00:42:18,884 --> 00:42:20,450
EMILY: So how does that work?
985
00:42:20,494 --> 00:42:22,278
I know, I remember
when I went to...
986
00:42:22,670 --> 00:42:23,715
Hey, guys!
987
00:42:24,535 --> 00:42:26,487
-Hey!
-Hey!
988
00:42:26,631 --> 00:42:27,940
-Come talk to us.
-Hey!
989
00:42:27,951 --> 00:42:30,058
-How was the party?
-It was really fun.
990
00:42:30,069 --> 00:42:31,112
-Was it?
-Yeah.
991
00:42:31,461 --> 00:42:32,375
Aces.
992
00:42:33,463 --> 00:42:35,683
BOTH: Huh. [chuckling]
993
00:42:37,032 --> 00:42:39,426
Uh, well. Thanks for
letting me stay over.
994
00:42:39,469 --> 00:42:41,236
-JACK: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-EMILY: Yeah.
995
00:42:41,297 --> 00:42:43,502
You've been
staying over 10 years.
996
00:42:43,604 --> 00:42:44,779
You don't have to thank us.
997
00:42:44,823 --> 00:42:46,694
Oh. Yeah, thanks.
998
00:42:47,299 --> 00:42:49,010
[whispers] Stop. Shh!
999
00:42:52,548 --> 00:42:54,666
John Lennon was wearing
a woman's sweater.
1000
00:42:54,677 --> 00:42:56,157
-Mm.
-And he's drunk.
1001
00:42:56,231 --> 00:42:57,868
-Definitely.
-So how do we feel about that?
1002
00:42:57,879 --> 00:42:59,620
Well, he didn't drive drunk,
1003
00:42:59,664 --> 00:43:01,900
and he's home
before curfew, so...
1004
00:43:01,970 --> 00:43:04,146
Good. That's what I thought
we thought.
1005
00:43:04,190 --> 00:43:06,061
Yeah, that's what
we think, right?
1006
00:43:06,105 --> 00:43:07,585
Yeah. We're good parents.
1007
00:43:07,628 --> 00:43:09,325
Right?
1008
00:43:09,369 --> 00:43:11,284
[slow music playing]
1009
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,189
The room stopped spinning.
1010
00:43:26,038 --> 00:43:27,678
Do you ever feel weird?
1011
00:43:29,128 --> 00:43:31,217
-Weird?
-Yeah.
1012
00:43:34,662 --> 00:43:37,660
Sometimes I feel like
I'm always on the outside.
1013
00:43:40,879 --> 00:43:42,285
What do you mean?
1014
00:43:42,445 --> 00:43:44,410
Like tonight, you know...
1015
00:43:44,752 --> 00:43:46,754
I was at that party,
and it was fun, but...
1016
00:43:47,403 --> 00:43:49,675
it kinda felt like
I was watching it
1017
00:43:49,686 --> 00:43:51,581
from across the room.
1018
00:43:54,022 --> 00:43:55,589
I don't know,
there's this invisible line
1019
00:43:55,633 --> 00:43:56,763
that I have to cross
1020
00:43:56,774 --> 00:43:58,098
to really be a part
of everything
1021
00:43:58,109 --> 00:44:00,291
and I just,
I can't ever cross it.
1022
00:44:02,074 --> 00:44:04,075
I feel that way
sometimes, too.
1023
00:44:04,816 --> 00:44:06,110
Not tonight you didn't.
1024
00:44:06,121 --> 00:44:08,013
Yeah, I was trying something.
1025
00:44:09,168 --> 00:44:11,039
Yeah, sometimes I think
it'd be so much easier
1026
00:44:11,083 --> 00:44:13,563
to be one of these people who
can just take a few shots
1027
00:44:13,607 --> 00:44:15,942
and then hook up
with whoever's closest.
1028
00:44:17,524 --> 00:44:19,178
Yeah, I guess I'm just unlucky.
1029
00:44:19,221 --> 00:44:20,135
Unlucky?
1030
00:44:21,814 --> 00:44:22,728
Why?
1031
00:44:24,096 --> 00:44:26,141
Because I'm not
a casual person.
1032
00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:29,710
What kind of person are you?
1033
00:44:34,846 --> 00:44:36,064
I think I'm the kind of person
1034
00:44:36,108 --> 00:44:38,110
who is destined
to care so much
1035
00:44:38,153 --> 00:44:40,653
about one person,
it nearly kills me.
1036
00:44:45,421 --> 00:44:46,335
Me too.
1037
00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:55,806
It's getting late.
1038
00:45:11,447 --> 00:45:12,361
Si?
1039
00:45:13,406 --> 00:45:14,494
Yeah?
1040
00:45:14,537 --> 00:45:15,676
Good night.
1041
00:45:17,453 --> 00:45:18,367
Good night.
1042
00:45:22,067 --> 00:45:25,723
[slow music continues playing]
1043
00:45:40,346 --> 00:45:41,834
SIMON: Dear Blue,
1044
00:45:42,183 --> 00:45:44,420
so one of my friends
likes the other,
1045
00:45:44,591 --> 00:45:47,467
and he has no idea.
I guess we all have secrets.
1046
00:45:47,831 --> 00:45:49,093
Anyway, I've been
thinking about
1047
00:45:49,104 --> 00:45:51,099
why I haven't come out yet.
1048
00:45:52,010 --> 00:45:53,751
Maybe it's because
it doesn't seem fair
1049
00:45:53,794 --> 00:45:55,665
that only gay people
have to come out.
1050
00:45:55,709 --> 00:45:57,591
Why is straight the default?
1051
00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:59,833
I have something
I need to tell you.
1052
00:45:59,844 --> 00:46:02,411
Mom, there's something
I have to tell you.
1053
00:46:02,455 --> 00:46:03,369
Can we talk?
1054
00:46:03,412 --> 00:46:04,708
-Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
1055
00:46:04,922 --> 00:46:05,792
I'm straight.
1056
00:46:05,803 --> 00:46:06,891
I'm straight.
1057
00:46:07,014 --> 00:46:08,809
I'm sorry, Mom, it's true.
1058
00:46:08,958 --> 00:46:10,374
I like girls.
1059
00:46:10,419 --> 00:46:11,333
[coughing]
1060
00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:13,819
I like men.
1061
00:46:13,830 --> 00:46:16,153
You get that
from your daddy's side.
1062
00:46:16,164 --> 00:46:17,812
I'm in love with Nick.
1063
00:46:19,774 --> 00:46:21,471
I feel like I've been raising
a stranger.
1064
00:46:21,482 --> 00:46:23,179
Yes, absolutely, you have.
1065
00:46:23,259 --> 00:46:24,434
I'm heterosexual.
1066
00:46:24,869 --> 00:46:27,819
Oh, God. Help me, Jesus. Please.
1067
00:46:27,830 --> 00:46:29,614
SIMON: Or maybe it's because
I can't be sure
1068
00:46:29,625 --> 00:46:31,409
this whole "being gay" thing
is forever.
1069
00:46:31,420 --> 00:46:32,987
Or maybe it's that there's
not that much
1070
00:46:32,998 --> 00:46:34,140
of high school left
1071
00:46:34,151 --> 00:46:35,773
and part of me
wants to hold on to
1072
00:46:35,784 --> 00:46:37,929
who I've always been
just a little longer.
1073
00:46:37,940 --> 00:46:40,601
And then, when I go to college
in Los Angeles,
1074
00:46:40,623 --> 00:46:42,190
I'll be gay and proud,
I promise.
1075
00:46:42,234 --> 00:46:44,812
["I wanna dance with somebody"
playing]
1076
00:46:49,589 --> 00:46:50,937
♪ Woo!
1077
00:46:53,898 --> 00:46:56,291
♪ Ooh, yeah, uh-huh
1078
00:46:58,250 --> 00:46:59,164
♪ Yeah
1079
00:47:01,601 --> 00:47:02,863
♪ I want to dance
1080
00:47:03,255 --> 00:47:06,040
♪ Oh! I wanna dance
With somebody ♪
1081
00:47:07,128 --> 00:47:10,088
♪ I wanna feel the heat
With somebody ♪
1082
00:47:11,002 --> 00:47:14,092
♪ Yeah! I wanna dance
with somebody ♪
1083
00:47:15,615 --> 00:47:18,400
♪ With somebody who loves me
1084
00:47:18,444 --> 00:47:20,315
♪ Don't you wanna dance
Say you wanna dance ♪
1085
00:47:20,359 --> 00:47:22,348
♪ Don't you wanna dance
1086
00:47:24,102 --> 00:47:27,496
♪ With somebody who loves me
1087
00:47:27,888 --> 00:47:29,194
♪ Oh
1088
00:47:31,979 --> 00:47:34,025
♪ Oh oh
1089
00:47:36,070 --> 00:47:37,463
Yeah, maybe not that gay.
1090
00:47:37,474 --> 00:47:39,440
SIMON: I'm not sure
who I'm promising.
1091
00:47:39,465 --> 00:47:41,009
I'll keep ruminating.
1092
00:47:41,020 --> 00:47:42,503
Love, Jacques.
1093
00:47:50,606 --> 00:47:51,912
Shit!
1094
00:47:56,468 --> 00:47:58,209
TAYLOR: So, yeah,
after swimming with dolphins,
1095
00:47:58,220 --> 00:48:00,667
we fly to Saint Martin
for New Year's.
1096
00:48:01,182 --> 00:48:03,644
Anybody else,
Christmas in the Caribbean?
1097
00:48:03,750 --> 00:48:05,056
Staying here.
1098
00:48:05,099 --> 00:48:06,666
We have a classic
Spier tradition
1099
00:48:06,709 --> 00:48:08,668
of French toast
on Christmas Eve.
1100
00:48:08,711 --> 00:48:10,496
I'm going to an unheated
vacation house
1101
00:48:10,539 --> 00:48:11,870
in the middle of nowhere.
1102
00:48:11,932 --> 00:48:14,136
As is our bleak
family tradition.
1103
00:48:14,195 --> 00:48:16,806
[winces] Ow! Ow!
1104
00:48:17,982 --> 00:48:18,939
Oh, man. Oh.
1105
00:48:18,983 --> 00:48:19,933
You okay?
1106
00:48:19,944 --> 00:48:21,862
Oh, yeah, that's a paper cut.
1107
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:23,204
Overdramatic.
1108
00:48:24,380 --> 00:48:27,542
Um, Simon, do you know
where the bandages are?
1109
00:48:27,643 --> 00:48:30,190
Yeah. They're just
in the supply closet.
1110
00:48:30,201 --> 00:48:32,128
Okay, do you mind showing me?
1111
00:48:34,532 --> 00:48:35,792
Be right back.
1112
00:48:36,783 --> 00:48:38,628
He's like a nurse, this man.
1113
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:41,788
Okay, I don't actually have
a paper cut.
1114
00:48:41,831 --> 00:48:43,746
I know that, Martin.
You're a very bad actor.
1115
00:48:43,790 --> 00:48:45,886
What, you think this is funny?
1116
00:48:46,998 --> 00:48:49,480
Simon, look,
I don't wanna have to
1117
00:48:49,491 --> 00:48:51,450
leak your emails, all right?
But I will.
1118
00:48:51,493 --> 00:48:54,235
Look, you cannot
bring Blue into this, okay?
1119
00:48:54,279 --> 00:48:55,758
If he found out
that my emails got leaked,
1120
00:48:55,802 --> 00:48:57,369
he'd get totally freaked,
all right?
1121
00:48:57,412 --> 00:48:58,587
He'd never talk to me again.
1122
00:48:58,631 --> 00:49:00,230
Yeah, probably not, you know?
1123
00:49:00,241 --> 00:49:01,982
The Internet's a freaky place
to meet people.
1124
00:49:02,026 --> 00:49:03,418
-Yo.
-Hey!
1125
00:49:03,462 --> 00:49:04,565
Hey!
1126
00:49:04,576 --> 00:49:05,859
Fun movie! Freak.
1127
00:49:05,870 --> 00:49:08,543
-That's a fun movie!
-Freaky, freak, freaky.
1128
00:49:08,554 --> 00:49:10,469
-Yeah, freaky-deaky Dutch!
-♪ She's a super freak
1129
00:49:10,512 --> 00:49:12,460
-BOTH: ♪ Super freak
-You guys are weird.
1130
00:49:12,471 --> 00:49:15,558
I need a Band-Aid.
Those programs are a bitch.
1131
00:49:17,041 --> 00:49:19,478
Erm, yo. Martin was having
trouble running his lines
1132
00:49:19,521 --> 00:49:20,827
and we were thinking
we could go
1133
00:49:20,870 --> 00:49:23,264
to Waffle House
and go over 'em.
1134
00:49:24,439 --> 00:49:25,440
-Really?
-Yeah.
1135
00:49:25,484 --> 00:49:27,040
That would be great.
1136
00:49:27,051 --> 00:49:28,139
I'm insky.
1137
00:49:30,402 --> 00:49:32,976
-Good work, Spier.
-Go to hell, Martin.
1138
00:49:37,844 --> 00:49:39,348
[cell phone chimes]
1139
00:49:42,022 --> 00:49:44,068
BLUE: Jacques,
if I were a betting man,
1140
00:49:44,111 --> 00:49:45,504
I'd say you were
drunk emailing me
1141
00:49:45,547 --> 00:49:46,679
during that last letter.
1142
00:49:46,722 --> 00:49:48,376
Don't worry. I liked it.
1143
00:49:48,753 --> 00:49:50,537
As for coming out,
I know what you mean
1144
00:49:50,548 --> 00:49:51,984
about wanting to wait
till college.
1145
00:49:51,995 --> 00:49:54,161
But our emails
have inspired me.
1146
00:49:54,172 --> 00:49:57,270
I'm going to tell my family.
So thanks, Jacques.
1147
00:49:57,281 --> 00:49:59,169
Love, Blue.
1148
00:50:12,270 --> 00:50:13,836
[indistinct chatter]
1149
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:14,794
Yeah.
1150
00:50:17,216 --> 00:50:18,598
MARTIN: Hey!
1151
00:50:18,711 --> 00:50:21,018
-Madame.
-ABBY: Oh.
1152
00:50:23,537 --> 00:50:25,663
[chuckles] Simon...
1153
00:50:25,674 --> 00:50:27,459
How the thespians
rehearse, right?
1154
00:50:27,502 --> 00:50:28,806
LYLE: Hey, guys.
1155
00:50:29,243 --> 00:50:30,592
What can I get you?
1156
00:50:30,843 --> 00:50:33,323
Lyle! You guys know Lyle?
We have Latin together.
1157
00:50:33,334 --> 00:50:34,837
ABBY: I don't think so.
1158
00:50:34,857 --> 00:50:36,165
Hi. How's it going?
1159
00:50:36,176 --> 00:50:38,782
Actually, we had Bio together
last year?
1160
00:50:38,818 --> 00:50:40,220
-SIMON: Oh, really?
-It's Simon, right?
1161
00:50:40,441 --> 00:50:43,333
Yeah. Yeah, sorry,
I don't, um...
1162
00:50:43,344 --> 00:50:45,129
It's okay.
It was like a big class,
1163
00:50:45,172 --> 00:50:47,188
and I have a good memory
for faces.
1164
00:50:48,001 --> 00:50:49,698
What can I get you guys?
1165
00:50:49,742 --> 00:50:51,727
MARTIN: Well, we plan
on being here for a while.
1166
00:50:51,744 --> 00:50:54,399
So, we're gonna start off small
and go larger.
1167
00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:58,509
Probably get some bacon first,
some sausage. I'd say...
1168
00:50:59,143 --> 00:51:02,309
ABBY: "You're right. I'm much
too strange and extraordinary.
1169
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:04,743
Much! And much too distracting!"
1170
00:51:05,236 --> 00:51:06,150
Wow.
1171
00:51:06,939 --> 00:51:09,172
And you never did any acting
at your old school?
1172
00:51:09,849 --> 00:51:11,851
No. Can we get back to...
1173
00:51:11,894 --> 00:51:13,505
And yet,
you're from D.C., right?
1174
00:51:13,548 --> 00:51:14,984
Yeah. Can you give me
my next cue, though?
1175
00:51:15,028 --> 00:51:17,227
MARTIN: So why
did you move here?
1176
00:51:17,596 --> 00:51:19,337
Because my parents got divorced
1177
00:51:19,380 --> 00:51:21,339
and my aunt found us
an apartment in her building.
1178
00:51:21,382 --> 00:51:22,807
Why'd they get divorced?
1179
00:51:22,818 --> 00:51:23,837
Why does it matter, Martin?
1180
00:51:23,848 --> 00:51:24,979
Are you writing a book
about girls
1181
00:51:24,990 --> 00:51:26,780
from a broken home in D.C.?
1182
00:51:28,041 --> 00:51:28,955
So?
1183
00:51:30,155 --> 00:51:32,081
I thought that my dad
1184
00:51:32,092 --> 00:51:35,001
was the greatest person
on the planet.
1185
00:51:36,571 --> 00:51:40,358
But it turns out that he's
just a sad, tired loser
1186
00:51:40,401 --> 00:51:43,012
who hates his job,
drinks way too much beer,
1187
00:51:43,056 --> 00:51:44,492
and cheats on his wife.
1188
00:51:44,635 --> 00:51:47,243
To make up for all the stuff
that I just mentioned, so...
1189
00:51:47,406 --> 00:51:49,118
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
1190
00:51:49,347 --> 00:51:50,211
Yeah.
1191
00:51:50,222 --> 00:51:53,034
You deserve the father
that you thought you had.
1192
00:51:55,089 --> 00:51:56,768
You know what, Abby?
1193
00:51:58,419 --> 00:52:00,762
You deserve
a goddamn superhero.
1194
00:52:01,118 --> 00:52:03,771
Okay, thank you.
Let's get back to the...
1195
00:52:03,782 --> 00:52:04,696
Say it.
1196
00:52:06,079 --> 00:52:06,993
What?
1197
00:52:07,689 --> 00:52:09,278
I wanna hear you say
1198
00:52:09,430 --> 00:52:13,086
"I, Abby Susso,
am an incredible young woman
1199
00:52:13,869 --> 00:52:16,524
and deserve
a goddamn superhero."
1200
00:52:16,916 --> 00:52:19,278
I'm not gonna say that, Martin.
1201
00:52:19,745 --> 00:52:21,181
Okay. Well, um...
1202
00:52:21,877 --> 00:52:23,825
I won't stop until you say it.
1203
00:52:24,271 --> 00:52:25,185
ABBY: Okay.
1204
00:52:26,157 --> 00:52:28,221
-What are you...
-Excuse me.
1205
00:52:28,232 --> 00:52:30,103
-Waffle House patrons!
-ABBY: Martin. Martin, stop.
1206
00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:31,670
-Pardon the interruption.
-BOTH: Martin.
1207
00:52:31,713 --> 00:52:34,140
I would just like to say
that Abby Susso here
1208
00:52:34,151 --> 00:52:35,413
is an incredible young woman.
1209
00:52:35,456 --> 00:52:36,481
Martin, please.
1210
00:52:36,492 --> 00:52:38,450
And deserves
a goddamn superhero.
1211
00:52:38,461 --> 00:52:40,052
-Okay, okay...
-That's right. Abby Susso!
1212
00:52:40,063 --> 00:52:41,824
Abby Susso is an incredible
young woman!
1213
00:52:41,835 --> 00:52:43,243
ABBY: I'm Abby Susso!
1214
00:52:43,253 --> 00:52:44,898
Incredible young woman...
1215
00:52:44,909 --> 00:52:47,516
Incredible young woman,
and deserves...
1216
00:52:47,562 --> 00:52:49,216
A goddamn superhero.
1217
00:52:49,253 --> 00:52:51,200
-A goddamn superhero!
-A goddamn superhero!
1218
00:52:51,211 --> 00:52:52,868
A goddamn superhero!
1219
00:52:59,219 --> 00:53:00,516
Yeah.
1220
00:53:01,003 --> 00:53:02,179
All right.
[claps]
1221
00:53:03,092 --> 00:53:04,616
Breakthrough. Yeah.
1222
00:53:05,617 --> 00:53:08,054
Okay, you can all go back
to your meals. Thank you.
1223
00:53:08,097 --> 00:53:09,621
Please sit down. Please.
1224
00:53:10,844 --> 00:53:12,846
-[Martin clears throat]
-[Abby sighs]
1225
00:53:13,277 --> 00:53:14,376
Well...
1226
00:53:14,843 --> 00:53:18,048
Well, let's get back to...
1227
00:53:18,175 --> 00:53:21,180
-my entrance into your song.
-I'm gonna take five.
1228
00:53:21,241 --> 00:53:23,330
MARTIN: "Ah, the Kit Kat Klub
proudly presents...
1229
00:53:23,374 --> 00:53:24,723
I'll be right back.
1230
00:53:24,734 --> 00:53:26,366
...a beautiful woman
coming straight from England."
1231
00:53:26,377 --> 00:53:27,943
Sally Bowles, everybody."
1232
00:53:39,165 --> 00:53:40,306
Hey.
1233
00:53:41,870 --> 00:53:45,202
Were you in Bio when they did
that identifying leaves test?
1234
00:53:45,222 --> 00:53:47,615
Yes. And Joel Winslow
ate that poison ivy.
1235
00:53:47,626 --> 00:53:49,699
Because Doug Fogerty told him
it was pot.
1236
00:53:49,710 --> 00:53:51,671
-Right. [laughs]
-SIMON: Poor Joel.
1237
00:53:51,682 --> 00:53:54,475
I think he just wants
to be liked 'cause...
1238
00:53:54,579 --> 00:53:57,408
you ever notice that he has
extra pens in his backpack?
1239
00:53:57,451 --> 00:54:00,367
Like, you know,
he's just waiting for the day
1240
00:54:00,411 --> 00:54:02,897
that someone comes up
to ask him for a pen?
1241
00:54:02,978 --> 00:54:06,483
And then he can be that guy
to give 'em a pen.
1242
00:54:07,225 --> 00:54:09,124
You see everything,
don't you, Simon?
1243
00:54:09,202 --> 00:54:10,290
I don't know.
1244
00:54:11,335 --> 00:54:13,075
But Simon means
"the one who hears"
1245
00:54:13,119 --> 00:54:15,252
and Spier means
"the one who sees"
1246
00:54:15,295 --> 00:54:17,515
so you put that all together
1247
00:54:17,558 --> 00:54:20,561
and pretty sure that means
I was just destined
1248
00:54:20,605 --> 00:54:22,522
to be up
in everybody's business.
1249
00:54:24,826 --> 00:54:26,219
I've gotta get back inside
1250
00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:28,061
and scrub down
some waffle irons.
1251
00:54:28,090 --> 00:54:30,005
-Duty calls.
-Indeed.
1252
00:54:31,137 --> 00:54:32,585
I'll see you in there.
1253
00:54:32,807 --> 00:54:34,318
Yeah, I'll see ya.
1254
00:54:40,842 --> 00:54:42,530
[cell phone chimes]
1255
00:54:49,808 --> 00:54:50,765
Hi.
1256
00:54:51,582 --> 00:54:54,628
BLUE: So my dad's flying in
tonight for Hanukkah.
1257
00:54:54,639 --> 00:54:56,346
If you are thinking,
1258
00:54:56,380 --> 00:54:57,381
"But Hanukkah isn't
for another month!"
1259
00:54:57,424 --> 00:54:58,817
Well, you are correct.
1260
00:54:58,828 --> 00:55:01,174
Welcome to navigating
divorced parents.
1261
00:55:01,618 --> 00:55:03,663
Take holidays
where you can get them.
1262
00:55:03,674 --> 00:55:06,495
And my dad's staying at the
same crappy motel as always.
1263
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,440
We'll do all our
horribly awkward traditions.
1264
00:55:09,654 --> 00:55:12,134
We'll light the menorah
and I'll silently pray
1265
00:55:12,178 --> 00:55:14,125
that the sprinklers
don't go off.
1266
00:55:14,136 --> 00:55:16,252
That's happened twice before.
1267
00:55:17,330 --> 00:55:19,680
Would you believe I'm
considering doubling down
1268
00:55:19,691 --> 00:55:21,002
and turning
this whole awkward mess
1269
00:55:21,013 --> 00:55:22,698
into a coming out thing?
1270
00:55:23,693 --> 00:55:25,432
Do you think I'm crazy?
1271
00:55:26,012 --> 00:55:28,081
SIMON: No, Blue,
I don't think you're crazy.
1272
00:55:28,107 --> 00:55:29,978
I think you're crazy brave.
1273
00:55:44,471 --> 00:55:47,126
ABBY: Honestly, Martin used to
annoy the crap out of me.
1274
00:55:47,169 --> 00:55:49,584
But he's actually kind of
a cool person.
1275
00:55:51,739 --> 00:55:54,318
I've been meaning to ask you
about your parents.
1276
00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:55,693
I just didn't wanna say anything
1277
00:55:55,704 --> 00:55:56,722
when we were actually
in the restaurant.
1278
00:55:56,733 --> 00:55:59,214
I wasn't sure if you
wanted to talk about it.
1279
00:55:59,225 --> 00:56:01,358
Yeah. No, I don't mention it
a lot
1280
00:56:01,369 --> 00:56:04,021
because it kind of messes
with my image.
1281
00:56:04,926 --> 00:56:06,731
What kind of image?
1282
00:56:08,016 --> 00:56:10,279
The girl who is excited
1283
00:56:10,323 --> 00:56:12,537
to start a new school
senior year.
1284
00:56:12,934 --> 00:56:15,372
Girl whose life didn't
just end,
1285
00:56:15,415 --> 00:56:16,808
like, three months ago,
1286
00:56:16,851 --> 00:56:18,897
who's angry and sad
all the time.
1287
00:56:21,595 --> 00:56:23,576
Girl who still believes in love.
1288
00:56:24,076 --> 00:56:26,927
Come on.
You still believe in love.
1289
00:56:27,949 --> 00:56:29,138
Maybe.
1290
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:31,420
Have you ever been in love?
1291
00:56:34,613 --> 00:56:36,256
I think so.
1292
00:56:50,494 --> 00:56:51,408
Abby.
1293
00:56:52,583 --> 00:56:53,497
Yeah?
1294
00:56:56,978 --> 00:56:58,326
I'm gay.
1295
00:56:59,807 --> 00:57:01,208
Oh.
1296
00:57:03,681 --> 00:57:05,733
You can't tell anyone though.
1297
00:57:06,075 --> 00:57:07,642
Nobody really knows,
1298
00:57:07,653 --> 00:57:09,327
and I don't really want people
to find out.
1299
00:57:09,338 --> 00:57:10,995
I won't. I promise.
1300
00:57:11,135 --> 00:57:12,667
Okay.
1301
00:57:17,477 --> 00:57:19,058
You surprised?
1302
00:57:19,914 --> 00:57:21,105
No.
1303
00:57:22,264 --> 00:57:23,831
-So you knew?
-No.
1304
00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:27,370
But you're not surprised?
1305
00:57:27,792 --> 00:57:29,878
Do you want me
to be surprised?
1306
00:57:30,751 --> 00:57:31,894
I don't know.
1307
00:57:33,058 --> 00:57:33,972
Okay.
1308
00:57:34,929 --> 00:57:36,312
Well, I love you.
1309
00:57:37,325 --> 00:57:38,239
So...
1310
00:57:47,725 --> 00:57:49,583
Love you, too.
1311
00:57:55,559 --> 00:57:56,864
[sighs in relief]
1312
00:57:57,135 --> 00:57:59,151
-[turn signal beeping]
1313
00:57:59,362 --> 00:58:00,742
-There's no one behind us.
1314
00:58:00,753 --> 00:58:01,885
You don't have to put
your blinker on.
1315
00:58:01,896 --> 00:58:03,987
-Okay, just being safe.
-Yeah.
1316
00:58:17,102 --> 00:58:20,213
SIMON: Dear Blue, I hope
it goes okay with your dad.
1317
00:58:20,224 --> 00:58:22,618
Whatever happens,
you inspired me.
1318
00:58:23,151 --> 00:58:24,979
I came out
to my friend tonight.
1319
00:58:25,023 --> 00:58:27,025
And I never would have
done that without you.
1320
00:58:27,068 --> 00:58:29,027
Maybe we should ride
this bravery train
1321
00:58:29,070 --> 00:58:30,830
and reveal our identities.
1322
00:58:30,841 --> 00:58:33,971
I'm dying to know who you are.
Love, Jacques.
1323
00:58:40,038 --> 00:58:41,916
[cell phone vibrating]
1324
00:58:44,126 --> 00:58:46,128
BLUE: I told my dad.
1325
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:50,632
It was insanely awkward.
But also, kind of fine.
1326
00:58:51,876 --> 00:58:53,741
And you got it backwards.
1327
00:58:54,008 --> 00:58:55,619
It's you who inspires me.
1328
00:58:57,621 --> 00:58:59,057
But I'm sorry,
1329
00:58:59,333 --> 00:59:02,131
I'm just not ready for us to
know each other's identities.
1330
00:59:02,190 --> 00:59:03,409
Love, Blue.
1331
00:59:05,803 --> 00:59:07,935
[hums the Jaws theme]
1332
00:59:07,979 --> 00:59:10,764
-Hey! What are you doing?
-[growls] I'm a fry shark!
1333
00:59:10,808 --> 00:59:12,244
-Yeah!
-[laughs]
1334
00:59:14,507 --> 00:59:16,596
-MARTIN: That is good.
-ABBY: You're a good fry shark.
1335
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:17,896
-MARTIN: Thank you, thank you.
-ABBY: I like that.
1336
00:59:17,907 --> 00:59:18,881
I didn't even know
you were coming near.
1337
00:59:18,892 --> 00:59:20,146
MARTIN: You know
what day it is?
1338
00:59:20,157 --> 00:59:22,178
-ABBY: What day is it?
-MARTIN: Must be Friday!
1339
00:59:22,189 --> 00:59:23,190
BOTH: Oh!
1340
00:59:23,201 --> 00:59:24,681
I guess I'm being loved,
right? Right?
1341
00:59:24,692 --> 00:59:25,545
Yeah.
1342
00:59:25,556 --> 00:59:28,379
Hey, what do you get
when you get black and Jewish?
1343
00:59:28,390 --> 00:59:29,685
-What?
-Bluish.
1344
00:59:29,696 --> 00:59:30,610
ABBY: That's mean.
1345
00:59:30,672 --> 00:59:32,064
Simon?
1346
00:59:32,075 --> 00:59:34,959
Since when does Abby find
Martin so goddamn funny?
1347
00:59:35,528 --> 00:59:36,725
Yeah, it's crazy.
1348
00:59:36,736 --> 00:59:38,576
NICK: You know,
this is stupid.
1349
00:59:38,592 --> 00:59:40,000
I'm just gonna tell her
that I like her.
1350
00:59:40,011 --> 00:59:41,146
And I've been thinking
1351
00:59:41,157 --> 00:59:42,287
the whole
sexual experience thing,
1352
00:59:42,313 --> 00:59:43,630
it's not that big of a deal.
1353
00:59:43,641 --> 00:59:44,889
And, actually,
I've been practicing, right?
1354
00:59:44,900 --> 00:59:45,857
I got this thing online.
1355
00:59:45,868 --> 00:59:47,137
It's really cool.
It's called a pocket puss...
1356
00:59:47,148 --> 00:59:48,018
Abby likes Martin.
1357
00:59:49,237 --> 00:59:50,750
She told me herself.
1358
00:59:50,761 --> 00:59:53,139
-[scoffs] But he's Martin.
-I know.
1359
00:59:54,624 --> 00:59:55,929
NICK: Look, I don't care.
1360
00:59:55,940 --> 00:59:56,941
-I'm gonna try.
-Hey, wait, wait.
1361
00:59:56,984 --> 00:59:58,201
What about Leah?
1362
00:59:58,986 --> 01:00:00,240
What about Leah?
1363
01:00:00,901 --> 01:00:01,982
SIMON: Dude.
1364
01:00:04,002 --> 01:00:06,548
-Leah's in love with you.
-No, she's not.
1365
01:00:06,559 --> 01:00:07,908
Are you kidding me?
1366
01:00:07,952 --> 01:00:09,910
I mean, come on.
The way she looks at you
1367
01:00:09,954 --> 01:00:11,869
and how she's been all jealous
ever since Abby's been around?
1368
01:00:11,912 --> 01:00:15,225
And she blushes every time
you come into the room.
1369
01:00:16,177 --> 01:00:17,701
Look, you and Abby...
1370
01:00:18,702 --> 01:00:20,431
it's never gonna happen.
1371
01:00:20,442 --> 01:00:21,792
But you and Leah...
1372
01:00:22,381 --> 01:00:24,819
I mean, you could be
incredible together.
1373
01:00:35,173 --> 01:00:37,005
-LEAH: Hey.
-What's up?
1374
01:00:38,343 --> 01:00:40,435
So I have something
to tell you.
1375
01:00:42,073 --> 01:00:43,750
Nick just asked me
to get dinner
1376
01:00:43,761 --> 01:00:45,498
before the homecoming game.
1377
01:00:46,077 --> 01:00:46,991
Okay.
1378
01:00:47,774 --> 01:00:50,107
No, like, Si, he was like...
1379
01:00:50,298 --> 01:00:51,680
He came up to me
and he's like,
1380
01:00:51,691 --> 01:00:52,942
"Do you wanna go get dinner?"
1381
01:00:52,953 --> 01:00:54,596
All right, and I was like,
1382
01:00:54,607 --> 01:00:56,498
"Sure, are Abby and Simon in?"
And he was like
1383
01:00:56,509 --> 01:00:59,980
"I was thinking it could just be
the two of us. Like, a date."
1384
01:01:00,047 --> 01:01:01,612
That's amazing.
1385
01:01:02,354 --> 01:01:03,268
It is?
1386
01:01:04,835 --> 01:01:05,749
Yeah.
1387
01:01:06,750 --> 01:01:07,881
Leah, come on.
1388
01:01:11,189 --> 01:01:12,451
I know you're into him.
1389
01:01:12,494 --> 01:01:13,635
[scoffs]
What?
1390
01:01:13,881 --> 01:01:15,486
All that stuff
that you were talking
1391
01:01:15,497 --> 01:01:16,847
about the night
after Bram's party,
1392
01:01:16,890 --> 01:01:19,632
about, you know,
being so into one person
1393
01:01:19,676 --> 01:01:21,385
that it almost kills you.
1394
01:01:22,679 --> 01:01:24,714
You were talking about Nick.
1395
01:01:26,319 --> 01:01:27,233
Uh...
1396
01:01:28,221 --> 01:01:30,682
So you think
I should go out with him?
1397
01:01:31,024 --> 01:01:32,987
Yes. Yes.
1398
01:01:35,082 --> 01:01:36,417
Okay.
1399
01:01:37,563 --> 01:01:38,776
-SIMON: Yeah?
-LEAH: Yeah!
1400
01:01:38,787 --> 01:01:40,337
SIMON: I promise you,
you're not gonna regret it.
1401
01:01:40,348 --> 01:01:41,940
It's gonna be great!
1402
01:01:41,951 --> 01:01:43,431
[all cheering]
1403
01:01:44,918 --> 01:01:47,704
Let's pull out
your claws, Grizzlies!
1404
01:01:48,123 --> 01:01:51,760
Oh!
[laughs]
1405
01:01:55,850 --> 01:01:59,604
Simon, that Almont QB
is insanely hot.
1406
01:01:59,870 --> 01:02:01,698
We can talk about stuff
like this now, you know.
1407
01:02:01,709 --> 01:02:03,319
Yeah, I still don't know
1408
01:02:03,341 --> 01:02:05,362
if I really quite
figured out how.
1409
01:02:06,486 --> 01:02:08,663
-Seriously?
-Yeah.
1410
01:02:08,674 --> 01:02:11,550
We gotta practice.
All right. Simon.
1411
01:02:11,561 --> 01:02:12,995
-Yeah?
-Do you think
1412
01:02:13,006 --> 01:02:17,053
that quarterback is lookin'
fine in those hot pants?
1413
01:02:19,474 --> 01:02:21,535
He's lookin' pretty fine.
1414
01:02:22,826 --> 01:02:25,045
No. No. No.
1415
01:02:25,426 --> 01:02:27,863
Fine! Good.
Put your body into it.
1416
01:02:29,441 --> 01:02:30,831
Fine! [grunts]
1417
01:02:31,269 --> 01:02:32,444
That was really good.
1418
01:02:32,455 --> 01:02:34,130
-That was so good.
-Thanks.
1419
01:02:34,141 --> 01:02:35,621
Hey, check it out.
It's the Waffle House guy.
1420
01:02:37,666 --> 01:02:39,074
SIMON: Oh, yeah.
1421
01:02:39,538 --> 01:02:40,452
Whoa.
1422
01:02:41,758 --> 01:02:43,816
-Lyle?
-I don't know. Could be.
1423
01:02:43,827 --> 01:02:46,055
-I don't know.
-Do you think he's...
1424
01:02:46,066 --> 01:02:47,277
I don't know.
1425
01:02:48,286 --> 01:02:49,504
Okay, well,
you should talk to him.
1426
01:02:49,548 --> 01:02:50,592
I'm gonna go get a coffee.
1427
01:02:50,636 --> 01:02:52,433
Look, you are fine!
1428
01:02:52,507 --> 01:02:53,552
[mouthing] You got this.
1429
01:02:54,379 --> 01:02:55,293
Hi.
1430
01:02:56,947 --> 01:02:59,732
Hey. If it isn't
my favorite waiter.
1431
01:02:59,776 --> 01:03:02,604
Ah, there he is.
The guy who sees everything.
1432
01:03:02,866 --> 01:03:04,258
-Yeah.
-[chuckles]
1433
01:03:04,269 --> 01:03:06,249
Hey, I wouldn't have taken you
for a homecoming guy.
1434
01:03:06,260 --> 01:03:07,990
Oh, just here for the coffee.
1435
01:03:08,001 --> 01:03:10,221
Of course. Yeah, it's all
about the cappuccinos
1436
01:03:10,264 --> 01:03:12,277
and camaraderie for this guy.
1437
01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:15,527
-[clears throat]
-[laughs]
1438
01:03:17,787 --> 01:03:19,527
I'm glad you're here.
1439
01:03:19,953 --> 01:03:20,867
You are?
1440
01:03:21,710 --> 01:03:22,624
Yeah.
1441
01:03:23,584 --> 01:03:26,347
'Cause I wanted to
ask you something.
1442
01:03:27,064 --> 01:03:28,587
I was gonna ask you
the other day
1443
01:03:28,630 --> 01:03:31,097
and then I was, like,
too chickenshit.
1444
01:03:32,955 --> 01:03:34,901
What's Abby's deal?
1445
01:03:36,464 --> 01:03:38,187
I know you and her
hang out a lot.
1446
01:03:38,198 --> 01:03:40,550
Are the two of you
like a thing, or...
1447
01:03:40,655 --> 01:03:41,569
No.
1448
01:03:42,296 --> 01:03:44,211
No, uh, we're just friends.
1449
01:03:44,603 --> 01:03:46,083
I could never be just friends
with someone that hot.
1450
01:03:46,126 --> 01:03:47,171
Yeah!
1451
01:03:47,214 --> 01:03:48,960
Every day is a struggle.
1452
01:03:50,261 --> 01:03:52,741
[sighs] I gotta go. I'll see ya.
1453
01:03:56,631 --> 01:03:58,647
MASCOT: Hey! You!
1454
01:03:59,394 --> 01:04:01,914
Little birdie told me
you're into bears!
1455
01:04:01,925 --> 01:04:03,143
[growls]
1456
01:04:03,505 --> 01:04:04,976
[mascot laughs]
1457
01:04:05,189 --> 01:04:06,451
Dude! It's me!
1458
01:04:06,973 --> 01:04:07,844
[grunts]
1459
01:04:08,540 --> 01:04:10,374
I'm the Creekwood bear.
1460
01:04:10,977 --> 01:04:12,022
Of course, you are.
1461
01:04:12,213 --> 01:04:13,241
Thank you.
1462
01:04:13,501 --> 01:04:15,025
Not a compliment.
1463
01:04:15,068 --> 01:04:16,765
Hey, um... I figured out
my next move with Abby.
1464
01:04:17,157 --> 01:04:19,406
Great, that's good for you,
Martin.
1465
01:04:19,464 --> 01:04:21,509
I just wanted to run it by you
real quick.
1466
01:04:21,553 --> 01:04:22,989
No, Martin, look.
1467
01:04:23,450 --> 01:04:24,937
I've been helping you for weeks
1468
01:04:24,948 --> 01:04:26,210
and I am sick and tired
of helping you
1469
01:04:26,253 --> 01:04:27,531
mess with my friends' lives.
1470
01:04:27,542 --> 01:04:28,717
So why don't you
just do that shit
1471
01:04:28,748 --> 01:04:30,159
that you did at Waffle House?
1472
01:04:30,170 --> 01:04:31,616
That went great.
1473
01:04:31,663 --> 01:04:33,467
So you're saying
I should go for it?
1474
01:04:33,478 --> 01:04:34,871
It's kind of a big gesture.
1475
01:04:34,882 --> 01:04:37,077
Go big or go home!
Right, Martin?
1476
01:04:37,743 --> 01:04:39,092
Go big or go home.
1477
01:04:39,103 --> 01:04:41,624
I like that.
Thanks for the pep talk, man!
1478
01:04:42,179 --> 01:04:43,787
Gotta get amped up.
1479
01:04:44,024 --> 01:04:45,765
[grunts] Come on!
1480
01:04:46,273 --> 01:04:47,753
[cheerleaders whooping]
1481
01:04:47,796 --> 01:04:48,972
[marching band playing
"Bad Romance"]
1482
01:04:49,015 --> 01:04:50,930
[players yelling]
1483
01:04:52,243 --> 01:04:53,984
MR. WORTH:
We're gonna take ya!
1484
01:04:54,325 --> 01:04:55,979
[singing to "Bad Romance"] ♪ Claw, claw, claw, claw, claw
1485
01:04:56,022 --> 01:04:58,413
♪ Claw, claw, claw,
Claw, claw ♪
1486
01:05:02,314 --> 01:05:03,566
AARON: Ethan!
1487
01:05:04,046 --> 01:05:06,108
I didn't know
you like football.
1488
01:05:06,119 --> 01:05:07,904
He's just here
to check out the packages.
1489
01:05:07,947 --> 01:05:09,427
Didn't your mother
ever tell you
1490
01:05:09,470 --> 01:05:11,794
not to grab your micropenis
in public?
1491
01:05:11,864 --> 01:05:14,214
Could we get some hummus
for that baby carrot?
1492
01:05:14,258 --> 01:05:15,786
-[laughs]
-Shut up, man.
1493
01:05:20,351 --> 01:05:22,826
-SIMON: Hey, guys.
-What's up? Hey.
1494
01:05:25,622 --> 01:05:27,943
-How was dinner?
-It was good.
1495
01:05:28,359 --> 01:05:30,578
Yeah, uh, we got
soup dumplings.
1496
01:05:31,318 --> 01:05:33,802
That dumpling place
I told you about?
1497
01:05:33,877 --> 01:05:34,919
Yeah.
1498
01:05:35,019 --> 01:05:37,888
You know, maybe you could go
with Martin.
1499
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:40,966
Why would I go with Martin?
1500
01:05:41,314 --> 01:05:44,591
ANNOUNCER: Please stand
for the national anthem.
1501
01:05:48,205 --> 01:05:50,615
This goes out
to all the refugees.
1502
01:05:51,034 --> 01:05:53,435
And my vocal coach,
Monica Lewis.
1503
01:05:53,688 --> 01:05:54,559
MAN: Yeah!
1504
01:05:55,469 --> 01:06:00,561
♪ O say can you see
1505
01:06:01,174 --> 01:06:06,527
♪ By the dawn's early light
1506
01:06:07,050 --> 01:06:08,834
♪ What so proud...
1507
01:06:08,963 --> 01:06:10,964
What the hell are you doing?
1508
01:06:12,819 --> 01:06:13,907
Sorry. Hi.
1509
01:06:13,926 --> 01:06:15,884
Hi, everyone.
Uh, sorry to interrupt.
1510
01:06:15,928 --> 01:06:17,582
Why are we interrupting
the national anthem?
1511
01:06:17,593 --> 01:06:19,542
MARTIN:
But I have something to say...
1512
01:06:19,716 --> 01:06:22,386
that's a little more important
than the national anthem.
1513
01:06:22,891 --> 01:06:24,714
No offense, America.
1514
01:06:26,330 --> 01:06:29,289
Abigail Katherine Susso...
1515
01:06:29,942 --> 01:06:32,511
when you transferred
to Creekwood High School,
1516
01:06:32,597 --> 01:06:35,066
just a short three
and a half months ago,
1517
01:06:35,954 --> 01:06:38,573
you not only transferred
into a new school,
1518
01:06:38,646 --> 01:06:41,432
you transferred your way
into a new heart
1519
01:06:42,183 --> 01:06:44,948
belonging to me.
My heart. Right here.
1520
01:06:45,501 --> 01:06:48,566
And whether it was being
your partner in pong,
1521
01:06:49,048 --> 01:06:51,167
or your Waffle House warrior,
1522
01:06:51,659 --> 01:06:52,921
I have cherished...
1523
01:06:53,311 --> 01:06:58,316
the 135,300 minutes
that we've spent together.
1524
01:06:59,102 --> 01:07:00,103
Oh, I'm sorry.
1525
01:07:00,842 --> 01:07:04,855
135,301 minutes.
1526
01:07:05,378 --> 01:07:08,745
And I know that you're
this smart, talented
1527
01:07:09,242 --> 01:07:10,504
perfect creature.
1528
01:07:11,984 --> 01:07:16,815
And, uh, I'm just a sweaty
schlub in a bear costume.
1529
01:07:17,559 --> 01:07:19,762
But like old Bogie used to say,
1530
01:07:20,251 --> 01:07:22,169
it's a "crazy mixed-up world."
1531
01:07:23,126 --> 01:07:24,040
So, Abby,
1532
01:07:24,705 --> 01:07:26,496
without further ado...
1533
01:07:28,109 --> 01:07:29,864
will you go out with me?
1534
01:07:30,829 --> 01:07:33,005
She's too hot for you, assface!
1535
01:07:34,093 --> 01:07:36,182
Excuse me. Sorry.
1536
01:07:39,359 --> 01:07:41,100
Just say yes. Say yes.
1537
01:07:41,144 --> 01:07:42,497
ABBY: Martin...
1538
01:07:43,233 --> 01:07:45,017
I am so sorry.
1539
01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:48,536
I don't feel that way about you.
1540
01:07:49,804 --> 01:07:51,075
You don't?
1541
01:07:52,677 --> 01:07:53,591
No.
1542
01:07:54,183 --> 01:07:56,517
But I really like
hanging out with you
1543
01:07:56,528 --> 01:08:00,309
and I don't know, maybe we could
still be friends, you know?
1544
01:08:00,424 --> 01:08:01,425
Yeah, uh...
1545
01:08:03,292 --> 01:08:04,708
Are those doves?
1546
01:08:08,214 --> 01:08:09,650
[crowd gasps]
1547
01:08:09,806 --> 01:08:11,808
No, no, hey, hey! Suraj!
1548
01:08:11,819 --> 01:08:14,302
Hey! No, no!
She said no! No, don't.
1549
01:08:15,221 --> 01:08:17,180
[crowd laughing]
1550
01:08:22,723 --> 01:08:25,046
Yo, I thought you said
she liked him.
1551
01:08:25,057 --> 01:08:29,322
Not the ceremonious
dove launch I was hoping for.
1552
01:08:29,435 --> 01:08:32,497
But still uplifting to free
some birds.
1553
01:08:32,978 --> 01:08:33,892
Yeah.
1554
01:08:34,632 --> 01:08:35,888
Okay, uh...
1555
01:08:36,904 --> 01:08:38,410
Enjoy the game.
1556
01:08:40,085 --> 01:08:42,281
Nice try, Martin!
And way to go, Martin!
1557
01:08:42,292 --> 01:08:44,250
You gave it a shot! Right?
1558
01:08:44,642 --> 01:08:46,209
[all cheering]
1559
01:08:55,609 --> 01:08:57,207
That was terrible.
1560
01:08:57,723 --> 01:09:00,762
Don't worry, people will get
over it in a few weeks.
1561
01:09:05,619 --> 01:09:06,533
[glass shattering]
1562
01:09:09,014 --> 01:09:09,971
[bear growls]
1563
01:09:20,808 --> 01:09:22,636
MARTIN [imitating Trump]:
This is Donald J. Trump.
1564
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:24,247
Martin Addison can't come
to the phone right now.
1565
01:09:24,290 --> 01:09:27,144
Hey, Martin, it's Simon. Again.
1566
01:09:27,206 --> 01:09:30,470
Um, look, I wanna make sure
you're doing all right.
1567
01:09:30,514 --> 01:09:32,831
I know it's been tough
since, uh...
1568
01:09:33,299 --> 01:09:36,394
Well, you know since when.
Um, listen. Just...
1569
01:09:37,260 --> 01:09:38,696
Just give me
a call back, okay?
1570
01:09:38,739 --> 01:09:41,035
I just wanna
make sure you're okay.
1571
01:09:41,046 --> 01:09:42,221
-[knocking on window]
-[yelps]
1572
01:09:42,265 --> 01:09:45,181
Hey! What you doin' in there?
1573
01:09:45,224 --> 01:09:46,128
Really?
1574
01:09:46,139 --> 01:09:49,050
I need you to help me decorate.
Untangle these for me, will ya?
1575
01:09:49,074 --> 01:09:50,378
This is not cool. I'll be down
in a minute, okay?
1576
01:09:50,407 --> 01:09:51,843
-What's not cool?
-I'll be down in a minute.
1577
01:09:51,854 --> 01:09:54,086
The fact that you're on
a ladder next to my room!
1578
01:09:54,097 --> 01:09:55,403
I can still clearly see you.
1579
01:09:55,974 --> 01:09:59,730
All right, there you go.
Okay. Merry Christmas.
1580
01:10:00,069 --> 01:10:01,386
[computer chimes]
1581
01:10:05,347 --> 01:10:06,565
BLUE: Jacques,
1582
01:10:06,576 --> 01:10:08,497
I'm drinking eggnog and packing
1583
01:10:08,508 --> 01:10:09,714
to go to my dad's cabin
on Lake Rabun.
1584
01:10:09,725 --> 01:10:11,253
I'm pretty sure
there's a photo of it
1585
01:10:11,264 --> 01:10:13,019
on the Wikipedia
page for "middle of nowhere."
1586
01:10:13,030 --> 01:10:14,816
Middle of nowhere.
1587
01:10:15,907 --> 01:10:17,517
I'm going to
an unheated vacation house
1588
01:10:17,561 --> 01:10:19,253
in the middle of nowhere.
1589
01:10:19,998 --> 01:10:21,304
Oh, shit.
1590
01:10:21,869 --> 01:10:23,219
BLUE: There's barely
electricity
1591
01:10:23,262 --> 01:10:25,003
and definitely
no cell service
1592
01:10:25,046 --> 01:10:27,448
so this will be my last email
for a while.
1593
01:10:27,527 --> 01:10:29,355
It should be a real
rite of passage.
1594
01:10:29,399 --> 01:10:31,270
A dad and his gay son
pretending they like
1595
01:10:31,314 --> 01:10:33,730
to fish and trying to find
things to talk about.
1596
01:10:33,751 --> 01:10:35,144
It's gonna to be
an excruciating two weeks
1597
01:10:35,155 --> 01:10:37,391
without you, Jacques.
Love, Blue.
1598
01:10:37,711 --> 01:10:39,409
SIMON: Sounds like you're
gonna need some good music.
1599
01:10:39,452 --> 01:10:41,367
So I'm sending a list
of the seven best
1600
01:10:41,411 --> 01:10:43,239
Christmas songs of all time.
1601
01:10:43,587 --> 01:10:45,110
Of course it includes
David Bowie's
1602
01:10:45,153 --> 01:10:46,355
"Little Drummer Boy,"
1603
01:10:46,366 --> 01:10:47,454
and Smokey Robinson
& The Miracles'
1604
01:10:47,465 --> 01:10:48,878
"Christmas Everyday,"
1605
01:10:48,889 --> 01:10:50,595
but the number one song
you're gonna need,
1606
01:10:50,606 --> 01:10:52,050
and trust me,
I know this sounds
1607
01:10:52,061 --> 01:10:53,542
a little bit twee...
1608
01:10:53,553 --> 01:10:55,338
["Someday at Christmas" playing]
1609
01:10:55,381 --> 01:10:59,255
♪ Someday at Christmas
Men won't be boys ♪
1610
01:10:59,459 --> 01:11:03,594
♪ Playing with bombs
Like kids play with toys ♪
1611
01:11:03,990 --> 01:11:07,211
♪ One warm December
Our hearts will see ♪
1612
01:11:07,410 --> 01:11:11,980
♪ A world where men are free
Ooh ♪
1613
01:11:12,084 --> 01:11:16,349
♪ Someday at Christmas
There'll be no wars ♪
1614
01:11:16,550 --> 01:11:20,554
♪ When we have learned
What Christmas is for ♪
1615
01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:24,268
♪ When we have found
What life's really worth ♪
1616
01:11:25,019 --> 01:11:28,284
♪ There'll be peace on Earth
1617
01:11:29,372 --> 01:11:33,724
♪ Someday all our dreams
Will come to be ♪
1618
01:11:33,985 --> 01:11:37,815
♪ Someday in a world
Where men are free ♪
1619
01:11:38,381 --> 01:11:41,949
♪ Maybe not in time
For you and me ♪
1620
01:11:41,993 --> 01:11:45,910
♪ But someday
At Christmas time ♪
1621
01:11:46,737 --> 01:11:50,610
♪ Someday at Christmas
We'll see a land... ♪
1622
01:11:50,654 --> 01:11:53,352
[cell phone ringing]
1623
01:11:56,064 --> 01:11:58,179
-Si, have you seen it?
-Hey.
1624
01:11:58,583 --> 01:11:59,410
Seen what?
1625
01:12:00,098 --> 01:12:01,012
CreekSecrets.
1626
01:12:01,891 --> 01:12:04,810
You need to look
at your computer right away.
1627
01:12:06,751 --> 01:12:09,005
MARTIN: Dear fellow
Creekwood students,
1628
01:12:09,020 --> 01:12:11,588
Simon Spier
has a secret male pen pal.
1629
01:12:11,631 --> 01:12:13,067
Because he's gay.
1630
01:12:13,383 --> 01:12:15,515
Interested parties
may contact him directly
1631
01:12:15,526 --> 01:12:17,818
to discuss arrangements
for butt sex.
1632
01:12:17,890 --> 01:12:19,718
Ladies need not apply.
1633
01:12:20,008 --> 01:12:22,053
We should all probably be
talking about this
1634
01:12:22,073 --> 01:12:24,841
instead of Martin Addison's
homecoming debacle
1635
01:12:24,992 --> 01:12:26,888
which was actually
kind of sweet,
1636
01:12:26,994 --> 01:12:29,255
and romantic,
if you think about it.
1637
01:12:29,388 --> 01:12:31,303
Sincerely, Anonymous.
1638
01:12:37,741 --> 01:12:40,134
LEAH: Si, have you read it?
1639
01:12:40,287 --> 01:12:41,766
SIMON: I can't talk right now.
1640
01:12:41,777 --> 01:12:44,013
-LEAH: No. Si, wait!
-I gotta go.
1641
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:45,273
Si?
1642
01:12:45,926 --> 01:12:46,840
I saw it.
1643
01:12:47,587 --> 01:12:50,355
I already reported it.
They're gonna take it down.
1644
01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:51,671
It's too late.
No, there's people
1645
01:12:51,715 --> 01:12:53,377
who've already seen it, so...
1646
01:12:53,456 --> 01:12:55,127
it doesn't really matter.
1647
01:12:56,502 --> 01:12:57,806
It's true.
1648
01:13:00,724 --> 01:13:01,869
I'm gay.
1649
01:13:02,508 --> 01:13:03,422
Oh...
1650
01:13:04,118 --> 01:13:06,197
So what are you gonna do?
1651
01:13:06,686 --> 01:13:08,166
I don't know.
1652
01:13:08,209 --> 01:13:09,728
You could deny it.
1653
01:13:09,863 --> 01:13:11,560
Why the hell
would I deny it, Nora?
1654
01:13:11,571 --> 01:13:13,478
I'm not ashamed of it.
1655
01:13:13,563 --> 01:13:15,782
You've just never really
said anything.
1656
01:13:15,826 --> 01:13:16,674
So what?
1657
01:13:16,755 --> 01:13:18,191
What does that have to do
with anything?
1658
01:13:18,204 --> 01:13:18,987
What the hell
are you talking about?
1659
01:13:18,998 --> 01:13:20,042
[sobbing] Sorry.
1660
01:13:27,054 --> 01:13:28,665
SIMON: I know you're going
off the grid
1661
01:13:28,708 --> 01:13:29,883
and you won't see this
until you're back,
1662
01:13:29,927 --> 01:13:30,884
but something's happened.
1663
01:13:31,260 --> 01:13:33,266
You're gonna find out
who I am.
1664
01:13:33,277 --> 01:13:34,582
And someone posted our emails.
1665
01:13:34,593 --> 01:13:37,743
Please don't freak out.
Please, Blue.
1666
01:13:37,754 --> 01:13:40,783
I need you to promise me
you won't disappear.
1667
01:13:42,113 --> 01:13:43,704
[computer chiming]
1668
01:13:48,206 --> 01:13:49,954
-[cell phone vibrating]
-[exhales]
1669
01:14:16,016 --> 01:14:17,658
NORA: Mum,
let me open my present.
1670
01:14:17,704 --> 01:14:21,010
EMILY: Honey, I'm trying to
tell you you need to shave.
1671
01:14:21,021 --> 01:14:22,849
JACK: Does that mean
you're gonna keep cooking?
1672
01:14:22,893 --> 01:14:24,503
NORA: Yeah, of course. I can
make dinner tonight, too.
1673
01:14:24,547 --> 01:14:25,882
-JACK: Awesome.
-What's this for?
1674
01:14:25,893 --> 01:14:26,973
Oh!
1675
01:14:26,984 --> 01:14:29,191
This one, Sherlock.
There you go.
1676
01:14:33,855 --> 01:14:35,664
NORA: What is it?
1677
01:14:36,375 --> 01:14:37,811
Bluetooth headphones.
1678
01:14:37,822 --> 01:14:40,016
-Do you like the black?
-Oh, I love it.
1679
01:14:40,027 --> 01:14:41,219
EMILY: Because I didn't
know if you liked...
1680
01:14:41,230 --> 01:14:41,930
This is great.
1681
01:14:41,941 --> 01:14:43,259
-They have other colors.
-He said he likes it.
1682
01:14:43,270 --> 01:14:44,540
-SIMON: No, I love it.
-Okay. I have the receipt.
1683
01:14:44,551 --> 01:14:45,509
He's good.
1684
01:14:52,207 --> 01:14:56,035
Actually, I did want to talk
to you guys about something.
1685
01:14:56,970 --> 01:14:58,134
What is it?
1686
01:14:59,973 --> 01:15:01,192
Uh, well...
1687
01:15:01,235 --> 01:15:02,806
JACK: Let me guess...
1688
01:15:04,064 --> 01:15:05,962
you got somebody pregnant.
1689
01:15:06,589 --> 01:15:07,736
No, you're pregnant.
1690
01:15:07,953 --> 01:15:10,251
-Yeah. Yeah, I'm pregnant.
-JACK: [chuckles] I knew it.
1691
01:15:10,262 --> 01:15:11,713
He's got that glow about him,
baby.
1692
01:15:11,724 --> 01:15:12,874
EMILY: Honey.
1693
01:15:12,885 --> 01:15:13,842
No. Uh...
1694
01:15:19,906 --> 01:15:21,087
I'm gay.
1695
01:15:23,021 --> 01:15:24,111
Honey.
1696
01:15:27,072 --> 01:15:30,151
And I don't want you guys to
think anything different.
1697
01:15:30,177 --> 01:15:31,091
I'm still me.
1698
01:15:31,135 --> 01:15:32,179
Of course you are.
1699
01:15:32,190 --> 01:15:33,583
-Oh, Simon.
-Yeah.
1700
01:15:34,704 --> 01:15:36,026
So you're gay?
1701
01:15:36,688 --> 01:15:38,392
Which one of your
old girlfriends turned ya?
1702
01:15:38,403 --> 01:15:40,187
Was it the one
with the big eyebrow...
1703
01:15:40,231 --> 01:15:41,667
-Jack.
-NORA: Jesus Christ.
1704
01:15:41,711 --> 01:15:42,799
Dad, can you ever
shut the hell up?
1705
01:15:42,842 --> 01:15:43,713
I'm kidding.
1706
01:15:43,724 --> 01:15:44,883
-It's not funny.
-I'm kidding, Nora.
1707
01:15:44,894 --> 01:15:46,846
Just open up your gift. Please.
1708
01:15:52,504 --> 01:15:53,940
EMILY: It's okay, honey.
1709
01:15:53,951 --> 01:15:55,376
-Nora, I got you this.
-NORA: Simon.
1710
01:15:55,420 --> 01:15:56,290
That's for you.
No, that's for you.
1711
01:15:56,334 --> 01:15:57,627
That's from me.
1712
01:16:02,517 --> 01:16:04,096
It's a Cuisinart.
1713
01:16:05,169 --> 01:16:06,779
I love it. Thank you, Simon.
1714
01:16:10,645 --> 01:16:13,327
SIMON: Dear Blue,
happy New Year.
1715
01:16:13,338 --> 01:16:14,798
I haven't heard from you,
1716
01:16:14,809 --> 01:16:17,968
so I'm going to assume it's
because you have no service.
1717
01:16:18,008 --> 01:16:20,671
I came out to my entire family
on Christmas.
1718
01:16:20,706 --> 01:16:21,794
It didn't go great.
1719
01:16:21,805 --> 01:16:22,968
And I've been avoiding
my friends
1720
01:16:22,979 --> 01:16:25,632
the whole break
for all sorts of reasons.
1721
01:16:26,391 --> 01:16:27,871
Change is exhausting.
1722
01:16:28,659 --> 01:16:30,139
I feel like
there's nowhere to hide
1723
01:16:30,150 --> 01:16:32,272
from all the newness
of everything.
1724
01:16:32,283 --> 01:16:34,033
Except here. With you.
1725
01:16:34,044 --> 01:16:35,482
Please write to me.
1726
01:16:35,493 --> 01:16:38,248
As soon as you get
even one bar of service.
1727
01:16:39,061 --> 01:16:40,622
Breakfast burrito?
1728
01:16:41,205 --> 01:16:42,249
Thanks.
1729
01:16:42,293 --> 01:16:43,873
EMILY: Hey, Si.
1730
01:16:45,452 --> 01:16:47,052
Come sit down.
1731
01:16:48,990 --> 01:16:50,724
I'm gonna be late.
1732
01:17:06,159 --> 01:17:07,160
[sighs]
1733
01:17:22,010 --> 01:17:22,924
Hey, guys.
1734
01:17:23,452 --> 01:17:25,631
Hey, Simon, we need to talk.
1735
01:17:25,671 --> 01:17:28,952
So Abby and I hung out
on New Year's Eve, and...
1736
01:17:29,862 --> 01:17:31,070
you see, now we're together.
1737
01:17:31,081 --> 01:17:32,601
That's awesome. That's great.
1738
01:17:32,612 --> 01:17:34,244
NICK: Yeah, it is.
1739
01:17:34,964 --> 01:17:37,757
But then we got to talking
about why it took so long.
1740
01:17:38,044 --> 01:17:39,480
ABBY: Why did you tell Nick
that I have
1741
01:17:39,524 --> 01:17:40,873
a boyfriend in college
named Jonathan?
1742
01:17:40,917 --> 01:17:42,821
-Why'd you make that up?
-Look, Martin...
1743
01:17:42,832 --> 01:17:44,355
he was the one who wrote
1744
01:17:44,398 --> 01:17:45,617
that CreekSecretspost
about me.
1745
01:17:46,096 --> 01:17:47,880
He screenshotted my emails
1746
01:17:47,924 --> 01:17:51,249
and he's been using them
to blackmail me for months.
1747
01:17:51,275 --> 01:17:53,944
What does that have to do
with us, Simon?
1748
01:17:53,955 --> 01:17:55,130
He told me
that if I didn't help him
1749
01:17:55,141 --> 01:17:57,100
get with Abby, he'd out me.
1750
01:18:00,110 --> 01:18:01,397
And I...
1751
01:18:02,242 --> 01:18:03,679
That's why I had to
keep you guys apart.
1752
01:18:03,722 --> 01:18:05,812
So you made up a bunch of lies.
1753
01:18:06,856 --> 01:18:08,031
And that's why
you convinced me
1754
01:18:08,074 --> 01:18:09,444
to go on that date with Leah?
1755
01:18:09,455 --> 01:18:11,240
You know, to keep me away
from Abby?
1756
01:18:11,251 --> 01:18:12,992
So, wait. Running lines
at Waffle House
1757
01:18:13,036 --> 01:18:14,820
and beer pong at Bram's,
1758
01:18:14,864 --> 01:18:17,772
all of that was just to
pawn me off on Martin?
1759
01:18:17,867 --> 01:18:20,015
I'm not
a piece of meat, Simon.
1760
01:18:20,407 --> 01:18:23,343
You know how hard it was
for me to start over.
1761
01:18:24,552 --> 01:18:25,640
I trusted you.
1762
01:18:26,236 --> 01:18:27,411
[sighs]
1763
01:18:30,244 --> 01:18:32,820
Hey, come on, Leah.
I'll take you to school.
1764
01:18:38,191 --> 01:18:40,956
Leah. Leah, please.
Listen, listen.
1765
01:18:41,035 --> 01:18:42,587
I know I messed up, okay?
1766
01:18:42,630 --> 01:18:43,871
But I knew you were
in love with Nick.
1767
01:18:43,882 --> 01:18:45,839
-And I thought that maybe...
-Just stop it!
1768
01:18:45,850 --> 01:18:47,964
You know what? You are
insanely stupid, Simon.
1769
01:18:47,975 --> 01:18:51,699
I was never in love with Nick.
I was in love with you!
1770
01:18:53,293 --> 01:18:54,207
[gasps]
1771
01:18:55,121 --> 01:18:56,035
Look...
1772
01:18:57,341 --> 01:18:59,256
We're... We're us.
1773
01:18:59,299 --> 01:19:00,636
Yeah, well...
1774
01:19:01,008 --> 01:19:02,793
[sighs] Sorry.
1775
01:19:05,392 --> 01:19:07,511
I've been trying to tell you.
1776
01:19:08,447 --> 01:19:12,300
That night I slept over...
I was trying to tell you.
1777
01:19:14,890 --> 01:19:17,191
You wanna know
the funniest part?
1778
01:19:17,350 --> 01:19:19,800
It's that all these years, you
being so picky with girls,
1779
01:19:19,811 --> 01:19:22,214
I thought that maybe it was
1780
01:19:22,235 --> 01:19:24,194
because you might
like me, too.
1781
01:19:24,890 --> 01:19:26,413
And then, you know,
you told me
1782
01:19:26,457 --> 01:19:27,871
I should go out with Nick
1783
01:19:27,882 --> 01:19:30,581
and I realized you were just
never gonna see me that way.
1784
01:19:30,665 --> 01:19:33,386
I can deal with you
being gay, Si.
1785
01:19:33,943 --> 01:19:35,548
But you set me up
to get my heart broken
1786
01:19:35,559 --> 01:19:36,857
when you thought
I was in love with Nick
1787
01:19:36,868 --> 01:19:38,978
and that just makes you cruel.
1788
01:19:44,617 --> 01:19:46,880
-[car engine starts]
-[Simon sighs]
1789
01:19:53,005 --> 01:19:56,530
[students murmuring]
1790
01:20:08,542 --> 01:20:09,701
You all right?
1791
01:20:09,761 --> 01:20:11,185
Hanging in there.
1792
01:20:11,257 --> 01:20:12,982
Uh, for the record,
1793
01:20:13,006 --> 01:20:15,792
when I was saying that we have
a lot in common, you know,
1794
01:20:15,803 --> 01:20:18,537
I wasn't really... That's not
what I was talking about.
1795
01:20:18,639 --> 01:20:19,553
Gotcha.
1796
01:20:19,822 --> 01:20:21,389
Just FYI, just for the record.
1797
01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:23,349
-SIMON: Okay, great. Thanks.
-All right.
1798
01:20:33,022 --> 01:20:34,168
Hey, Jackie.
1799
01:20:34,280 --> 01:20:35,759
Did you date me
1800
01:20:35,770 --> 01:20:38,066
because you think
I look like a guy?
1801
01:20:38,329 --> 01:20:40,375
No. No, I actually
broke up with you
1802
01:20:40,386 --> 01:20:42,551
because you don't look
like a guy.
1803
01:20:42,576 --> 01:20:45,841
Oh. Oh, okay. Thanks.
1804
01:20:46,363 --> 01:20:47,277
Welcome.
1805
01:20:59,158 --> 01:21:00,551
[sighs]
1806
01:21:00,594 --> 01:21:02,466
[rap music playing on phone]
1807
01:21:02,509 --> 01:21:04,074
Yeah! Hey, Creekwood!
1808
01:21:06,557 --> 01:21:08,324
This one's for you, Spier.
1809
01:21:09,715 --> 01:21:10,879
Hey, Ethan.
1810
01:21:11,605 --> 01:21:13,113
-Oh, yeah!
-Oh, yeah.
1811
01:21:17,002 --> 01:21:18,743
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
1812
01:21:18,786 --> 01:21:21,035
You like that,
don't you, Spier?
1813
01:21:21,046 --> 01:21:24,675
-Yeah.
-Oh, yeah, Ethan, Simon likey.
1814
01:21:24,857 --> 01:21:27,598
[Aaron and Spencer moaning]
1815
01:21:28,665 --> 01:21:31,011
You have something
you wanna say to me?
1816
01:21:32,013 --> 01:21:34,249
I said do you have something
to say to me?
1817
01:21:34,260 --> 01:21:35,089
[turns off music]
1818
01:21:35,100 --> 01:21:36,855
-I'll take it from here.
-Hey, Ms. Albright.
1819
01:21:36,866 --> 01:21:38,404
Don't "Hey, Ms. Albright" me.
1820
01:21:38,415 --> 01:21:39,807
We're not friends.
You're not gonna
1821
01:21:39,851 --> 01:21:41,157
braid my hair
or paint my nails.
1822
01:21:41,200 --> 01:21:42,810
Get your ass
off the table now!
1823
01:21:42,854 --> 01:21:45,248
You sweaty, hormonal virgins.
1824
01:21:45,639 --> 01:21:47,979
You know what? You're about to
be suspended for so long,
1825
01:21:47,990 --> 01:21:49,556
that by the time it's over,
you're gonna be
1826
01:21:49,600 --> 01:21:51,949
the fat, bald, unhappily married
1827
01:21:52,030 --> 01:21:55,207
wildly mediocre nobodies
you're destined to become.
1828
01:21:55,218 --> 01:21:56,964
You can't talk to us like that.
1829
01:21:56,999 --> 01:21:58,739
Actually, I can,
'cause I just did.
1830
01:21:58,783 --> 01:22:00,437
And you know why?
Because you're just those two
1831
01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:02,047
assholes that did
that shitty thing
1832
01:22:02,091 --> 01:22:05,004
in front of the whole school.
And guess what?
1833
01:22:05,015 --> 01:22:08,254
Nobody feels sorry for those
assholes, especially me.
1834
01:22:08,749 --> 01:22:10,926
Now, walk.
Mr. Worth's office now.
1835
01:22:10,969 --> 01:22:11,883
Bye.
1836
01:22:12,703 --> 01:22:14,347
Uh-uh. That's mine now.
1837
01:22:14,486 --> 01:22:16,706
I'mma sell it.
Get my tubes tied.
1838
01:22:17,454 --> 01:22:19,804
[scattered laughter and chatter]
1839
01:22:30,380 --> 01:22:32,425
[inaudible conversation]
1840
01:22:33,159 --> 01:22:35,891
Why does Mr. Worth
have to talk to us?
1841
01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:38,962
I mean, can't we just
let this shit go?
1842
01:22:41,701 --> 01:22:43,594
Hey, I'm sorry, Ethan.
1843
01:22:45,397 --> 01:22:48,632
None of this ever happened
when just you were out.
1844
01:22:49,790 --> 01:22:51,662
You know what they say,
one gay's a snooze,
1845
01:22:51,705 --> 01:22:54,131
two's a hilarious hate crime.
1846
01:22:58,712 --> 01:23:01,208
You could've told me
you were gay.
1847
01:23:03,034 --> 01:23:04,653
I guess I didn't think
we had very much in common.
1848
01:23:04,664 --> 01:23:06,552
[scoffs]
You're telling me, Simon.
1849
01:23:06,563 --> 01:23:08,423
It's not like
your all-hoodie wardrobe
1850
01:23:08,434 --> 01:23:09,609
rocks my world.
1851
01:23:10,072 --> 01:23:11,073
[Simon chuckles]
1852
01:23:16,121 --> 01:23:17,214
I don't know.
1853
01:23:17,818 --> 01:23:19,300
Maybe I was jealous.
1854
01:23:20,209 --> 01:23:22,580
You've been out
since you were 16.
1855
01:23:24,303 --> 01:23:26,238
It always seemed
so easy for you.
1856
01:23:26,262 --> 01:23:27,176
Easy?
1857
01:23:28,090 --> 01:23:29,675
Are you kidding me?
1858
01:23:32,050 --> 01:23:33,921
My mom still tells
my grandparents
1859
01:23:33,965 --> 01:23:35,836
about all the girls I'm dating
1860
01:23:35,880 --> 01:23:39,228
when we go over to their house
for dinner, every Sunday.
1861
01:23:39,275 --> 01:23:42,040
She says it's 'cause
they're old and religious,
1862
01:23:42,147 --> 01:23:44,087
and it's just easier that way.
1863
01:23:45,150 --> 01:23:47,321
I don't know,
maybe that's true.
1864
01:23:47,612 --> 01:23:51,321
But you should hear her voice
when she talks about the girls.
1865
01:23:55,987 --> 01:23:57,880
All right, boys, come on in.
1866
01:23:58,772 --> 01:23:59,730
Come on.
1867
01:24:01,166 --> 01:24:02,765
All right,
just stand right here.
1868
01:24:02,776 --> 01:24:04,013
[speaks French]
1869
01:24:05,170 --> 01:24:06,443
Get up.
1870
01:24:09,591 --> 01:24:11,165
Okay, these gentlemen
have something
1871
01:24:11,176 --> 01:24:12,688
that they would like
to say to you.
1872
01:24:12,699 --> 01:24:14,310
-We're sorry.
-Our bad.
1873
01:24:14,571 --> 01:24:16,355
That's right.
'Cause at Creekwood High,
1874
01:24:16,399 --> 01:24:17,400
what do we believe in?
1875
01:24:17,443 --> 01:24:18,740
BOTH: Tolerance.
1876
01:24:18,793 --> 01:24:20,882
And "tolerance" means
we respect
1877
01:24:20,893 --> 01:24:22,732
Simon and Ethan's choice
to be boyfriends.
1878
01:24:22,796 --> 01:24:24,787
-We are not boyfriends.
-Yeah. No.
1879
01:24:24,798 --> 01:24:26,322
Hey, whatever you wanna
call it,
1880
01:24:26,365 --> 01:24:27,584
it's fine with me. Seriously.
1881
01:24:27,627 --> 01:24:29,760
We call it "two people
1882
01:24:29,803 --> 01:24:31,544
that are not at all
romantically involved."
1883
01:24:31,588 --> 01:24:32,937
Yeah, I get it.
Keepin' it casual, man.
1884
01:24:32,980 --> 01:24:34,529
I can dig, seriously.
1885
01:24:36,158 --> 01:24:38,943
Oh. Simon. Hey, can we talk?
1886
01:24:39,639 --> 01:24:41,032
I don't have anything
to say to you.
1887
01:24:41,076 --> 01:24:42,468
Please, please.
I just wanted to say
1888
01:24:42,512 --> 01:24:43,729
that I was sorry, okay?
1889
01:24:43,740 --> 01:24:45,210
I didn't know or think
1890
01:24:45,254 --> 01:24:46,777
that people still did
shit like that.
1891
01:24:46,820 --> 01:24:48,735
And I got in a lot of shit
for Homecoming,
1892
01:24:48,779 --> 01:24:50,824
and I wanted everyone to focus
on something else, you know?
1893
01:24:50,868 --> 01:24:52,522
I just didn't think
it was gonna be a big thing.
1894
01:24:52,565 --> 01:24:54,219
I don't care if you didn't
think that my coming out
1895
01:24:54,263 --> 01:24:56,372
was gonna be
a big thing, Martin.
1896
01:24:57,135 --> 01:24:58,763
Look, you don't get to
decide that.
1897
01:24:58,832 --> 01:25:01,096
I'm supposed to be the one
that decides when
1898
01:25:01,139 --> 01:25:02,793
and where,
and how and who knows
1899
01:25:02,836 --> 01:25:04,186
and how I get to say it.
1900
01:25:04,229 --> 01:25:05,491
That's supposed to be
my thing!
1901
01:25:05,535 --> 01:25:07,693
And you took that away
from me.
1902
01:25:08,349 --> 01:25:11,286
So, well, can you please just
get the fuck away from me?
1903
01:25:20,202 --> 01:25:21,549
[sighs]
1904
01:25:33,911 --> 01:25:35,674
[computer chimes]
1905
01:25:43,094 --> 01:25:45,966
BLUE: I saw the posts.
I know who you are.
1906
01:25:46,478 --> 01:25:48,115
Jacques a Dit.
1907
01:25:48,298 --> 01:25:50,381
That's what they call
Simon Says in France.
1908
01:25:50,449 --> 01:25:51,711
Very clever.
1909
01:25:51,875 --> 01:25:53,311
I'm sorry, Simon.
I can't do this anymore.
1910
01:25:53,331 --> 01:25:56,412
-SIMON: Please, Blue.
-BLUE: I'm so sorry.
1911
01:25:56,481 --> 01:26:00,230
SIMON: You can't leave me alone.
Everything's falling apart.
1912
01:26:01,895 --> 01:26:03,158
[takes deep breath]
1913
01:26:29,445 --> 01:26:30,663
[sobbing]
1914
01:26:50,610 --> 01:26:52,990
I mean, I haven't even
talked to her.
1915
01:26:53,033 --> 01:26:55,235
I haven't even
seen her at school.
1916
01:26:56,428 --> 01:26:58,300
Anyway, I guess
I'll see you in class, right?
1917
01:26:58,343 --> 01:26:59,562
-GIRL: Yeah, totally.
-CAL: Okay.
1918
01:26:59,605 --> 01:27:00,519
Later.
1919
01:27:01,825 --> 01:27:03,653
-Hey.
-Hey, Simon.
1920
01:27:06,351 --> 01:27:07,497
Is it you?
1921
01:27:09,496 --> 01:27:10,738
Are you Blue?
1922
01:27:11,487 --> 01:27:14,751
No. No, it's not me. Sorry.
1923
01:27:18,320 --> 01:27:19,930
I know you've had
a crazy couple days.
1924
01:27:19,973 --> 01:27:21,278
You wanna talk about it?
1925
01:27:21,323 --> 01:27:23,692
No, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have asked.
1926
01:27:23,803 --> 01:27:26,567
-No, don't worry.
-Sorry for bothering you.
1927
01:27:45,347 --> 01:27:46,580
[door closes]
1928
01:28:06,716 --> 01:28:08,151
Did you know?
1929
01:28:13,375 --> 01:28:15,028
I knew you had a secret.
1930
01:28:20,165 --> 01:28:23,423
I mean, when you were little,
you were so carefree.
1931
01:28:24,170 --> 01:28:28,635
But these last few years,
more and more...
1932
01:28:30,092 --> 01:28:33,471
it's almost like I could
feel you holding your breath.
1933
01:28:40,619 --> 01:28:43,066
I wanted to ask you
about it, but I...
1934
01:28:43,405 --> 01:28:45,015
didn't wanna pry.
1935
01:28:48,279 --> 01:28:51,674
-Maybe I made a mistake.
-No. No, Mom, you...
1936
01:28:53,589 --> 01:28:55,455
You didn't make a mistake.
1937
01:28:59,271 --> 01:29:01,339
EMILY: Being gay is your thing.
1938
01:29:02,380 --> 01:29:05,597
There are parts of it
you have to go through alone.
1939
01:29:05,731 --> 01:29:06,732
I hate that.
1940
01:29:08,093 --> 01:29:11,753
As soon as you came out,
you said, "Mom, I'm still me."
1941
01:29:15,045 --> 01:29:16,865
I need you to hear this.
1942
01:29:18,744 --> 01:29:21,268
You are still you, Simon.
1943
01:29:23,540 --> 01:29:28,789
And you are still the same son
who I love to tease,
1944
01:29:29,333 --> 01:29:33,070
and who your father depends on
for just about everything.
1945
01:29:33,542 --> 01:29:35,336
And you're the same brother
1946
01:29:35,508 --> 01:29:38,068
who always compliments
his sister on her food,
1947
01:29:38,111 --> 01:29:40,586
even when it sucks.
1948
01:29:43,742 --> 01:29:46,005
But you get to exhale now,
Simon.
1949
01:29:48,008 --> 01:29:51,343
You get to be more you
than you have been...
1950
01:29:53,823 --> 01:29:55,633
in a very long time.
1951
01:30:02,868 --> 01:30:05,362
You deserve
everything you want.
1952
01:30:19,631 --> 01:30:20,545
My boy.
1953
01:30:37,519 --> 01:30:39,085
Hey, Leah.
1954
01:30:39,477 --> 01:30:40,910
-Hey.
-What's up?
1955
01:30:40,957 --> 01:30:42,543
What are you doing?
1956
01:30:42,554 --> 01:30:44,749
Just going for a run,
you know.
1957
01:30:45,141 --> 01:30:47,910
-Daily ritual.
-Yeah, you've never done that.
1958
01:30:48,312 --> 01:30:49,226
Have too.
1959
01:30:49,792 --> 01:30:51,785
But you're wearing jeans.
1960
01:30:52,708 --> 01:30:53,839
They're my running jeans.
1961
01:30:53,883 --> 01:30:56,027
Simon, you're about to pass out.
1962
01:30:56,407 --> 01:30:59,246
[panting] Okay, fine.
I'm not going for a run.
1963
01:30:59,257 --> 01:31:01,053
Hey, Leah. Please, listen.
1964
01:31:01,064 --> 01:31:02,631
Look, I know, okay?
1965
01:31:02,674 --> 01:31:04,023
You didn't want anyone
to know you're gay.
1966
01:31:04,035 --> 01:31:05,870
No, that wasn't just it.
1967
01:31:08,797 --> 01:31:10,746
I fell in love with someone.
1968
01:31:11,857 --> 01:31:13,683
That guy in the emails...
1969
01:31:15,165 --> 01:31:16,230
I love him.
1970
01:31:17,329 --> 01:31:19,671
And I knew that if Martin
leaked our emails,
1971
01:31:19,682 --> 01:31:21,112
it'd scare him off.
1972
01:31:21,998 --> 01:31:22,912
I'm sorry.
1973
01:31:25,616 --> 01:31:28,229
I know what I did
was messed up.
1974
01:31:31,059 --> 01:31:32,535
You're my best friend.
1975
01:31:32,574 --> 01:31:33,731
If I'm your best friend,
1976
01:31:33,742 --> 01:31:36,020
then why did you come out
to Abby and not me?
1977
01:31:38,047 --> 01:31:39,488
Think it was easier.
1978
01:31:41,104 --> 01:31:43,266
I've known Abby for six months,
1979
01:31:43,367 --> 01:31:46,239
and I've known you
for 13 years.
1980
01:31:48,590 --> 01:31:49,982
And I knew that if I told you,
1981
01:31:50,026 --> 01:31:52,610
that everything
was gonna be different.
1982
01:31:53,777 --> 01:31:56,321
I really wanted things
to stay the same.
1983
01:32:00,515 --> 01:32:02,772
Tell me about this guy
you love.
1984
01:32:06,106 --> 01:32:07,716
-You sure?
-Yeah.
1985
01:32:08,324 --> 01:32:11,340
It'll help me kill off
Hetero Simon in my mind.
1986
01:32:11,351 --> 01:32:14,183
-You don't have to kill him off.
-He's dead, Si.
1987
01:32:14,267 --> 01:32:17,417
Hacking him up with
a mental machete as we speak.
1988
01:32:17,488 --> 01:32:18,620
[chuckles]
1989
01:32:19,055 --> 01:32:20,883
All right. Fair enough.
1990
01:32:23,807 --> 01:32:25,424
So, I call him Blue.
1991
01:32:35,566 --> 01:32:37,114
Hey, Si.
1992
01:32:38,857 --> 01:32:40,123
Yeah?
1993
01:32:45,385 --> 01:32:46,386
[sighs]
1994
01:32:50,534 --> 01:32:52,579
How long have you known?
1995
01:32:54,193 --> 01:32:58,042
Like, I really started to get it
when I was around...
1996
01:33:00,139 --> 01:33:01,214
thirteen?
1997
01:33:01,401 --> 01:33:03,471
Four years? Four years of...
1998
01:33:04,970 --> 01:33:06,537
eating dinner together,
1999
01:33:06,581 --> 01:33:07,973
four years of
going to movies together.
2000
01:33:08,017 --> 01:33:10,542
Four years of
walking Bieber together.
2001
01:33:12,804 --> 01:33:14,143
I'm sorry.
2002
01:33:14,763 --> 01:33:16,405
I shouldn't have missed it.
2003
01:33:16,416 --> 01:33:17,964
No. Hey, no, Dad.
2004
01:33:17,975 --> 01:33:19,811
All those stupid jokes...
2005
01:33:20,450 --> 01:33:21,576
Well, I know
you didn't mean 'em.
2006
01:33:21,587 --> 01:33:24,387
It doesn't matter.
I shouldn't have missed it.
2007
01:33:27,427 --> 01:33:28,559
But...
2008
01:33:28,881 --> 01:33:31,889
in case the message
got lost somewhere I just...
2009
01:33:32,789 --> 01:33:35,318
I just want you to know
that I love you.
2010
01:33:36,857 --> 01:33:39,248
[crying] And I'm really
proud of you.
2011
01:33:39,891 --> 01:33:42,427
I wouldn't change anything
about you.
2012
01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:46,631
Hey. Shit, Dad.
2013
01:33:49,362 --> 01:33:50,506
Hey, stop crying.
2014
01:33:50,537 --> 01:33:52,443
I'm trying. I'm trying.
2015
01:33:53,540 --> 01:33:55,217
Oh, God.
2016
01:33:57,066 --> 01:33:58,279
Come here.
2017
01:34:07,990 --> 01:34:09,923
How's that video
for Mom coming?
2018
01:34:09,948 --> 01:34:11,297
-Good.
-Good, good.
2019
01:34:11,341 --> 01:34:12,390
Good.
2020
01:34:15,214 --> 01:34:16,563
You don't know
how to export it, do you?
2021
01:34:16,607 --> 01:34:17,390
Can you help me
with that, please?
2022
01:34:17,434 --> 01:34:18,348
Yeah.
2023
01:34:18,827 --> 01:34:20,275
-Okay.
-Let's go.
2024
01:34:20,350 --> 01:34:21,307
Hey.
2025
01:34:22,067 --> 01:34:25,382
I thought maybe we could
sign up for Grindr together.
2026
01:34:25,485 --> 01:34:28,007
You don't know
what Grindr is, do you?
2027
01:34:28,097 --> 01:34:29,925
It's Facebook for gay people.
2028
01:34:30,539 --> 01:34:32,013
Not what it is.
2029
01:34:35,408 --> 01:34:36,717
Ladies and gentlemen,
2030
01:34:36,728 --> 01:34:38,928
I present to you
20 years of bliss.
2031
01:34:39,891 --> 01:34:43,068
[video playing]
2032
01:34:47,246 --> 01:34:49,204
EMILY: Did you guys do this?
2033
01:34:49,799 --> 01:34:51,703
Simon and I did it, yeah.
2034
01:34:52,469 --> 01:34:54,253
-I just helped.
-It was mostly me.
2035
01:34:54,297 --> 01:34:55,690
EMILY: [laughs]
Yeah, right.
2036
01:34:59,868 --> 01:35:01,304
Really? Really?
2037
01:35:03,088 --> 01:35:05,390
EMILY: I can't believe
you did this.
2038
01:35:05,525 --> 01:35:07,908
I panicked
and bought you a watch.
2039
01:35:07,919 --> 01:35:09,062
That's okay.
2040
01:35:09,312 --> 01:35:10,530
You can give me
somethin' later
2041
01:35:10,574 --> 01:35:11,836
that I can't get in the store.
2042
01:35:11,880 --> 01:35:13,316
That's really gross.
2043
01:35:13,327 --> 01:35:15,640
-Oh, guys, just look.
-Sorry, just pay attention.
2044
01:35:15,651 --> 01:35:16,826
Just look at baby Bieber!
2045
01:35:16,852 --> 01:35:18,027
NORA: He was so cute!
2046
01:35:18,038 --> 01:35:20,179
EMILY: Just look at our baby!
2047
01:35:24,066 --> 01:35:26,476
SIMON: Dear students
of Creekwood High School,
2048
01:35:26,546 --> 01:35:29,765
As anyone with a half-decent
data plan already knows,
2049
01:35:29,811 --> 01:35:32,030
a recent post
on this very website
2050
01:35:32,074 --> 01:35:33,710
declared that I was gay.
2051
01:35:33,721 --> 01:35:35,585
The delivery left something
to be desired,
2052
01:35:35,599 --> 01:35:37,499
but the message is true.
2053
01:35:37,601 --> 01:35:39,646
I am... gay.
2054
01:35:40,256 --> 01:35:43,562
For a long time, I was killing
myself to hide that fact.
2055
01:35:44,086 --> 01:35:45,593
I had all these reasons.
2056
01:35:45,604 --> 01:35:47,432
It was unfair that only
gay people had to come out.
2057
01:35:47,443 --> 01:35:48,663
I was sick of change.
2058
01:35:48,674 --> 01:35:50,864
But the truth is
I was just scared.
2059
01:35:50,875 --> 01:35:52,179
COACH: Come on, Garrett.
Let's go!
2060
01:35:52,190 --> 01:35:54,444
SIMON: At first I thought
it was just a gay thing.
2061
01:35:54,487 --> 01:35:55,924
But then I realized,
no matter what,
2062
01:35:55,967 --> 01:35:57,534
announcing who you are
2063
01:35:57,577 --> 01:35:59,077
to the world
is pretty terrifying
2064
01:35:59,088 --> 01:36:01,890
because what if the world
doesn't like you?
2065
01:36:02,017 --> 01:36:04,999
So, I did whatever I could
to keep my secret.
2066
01:36:05,150 --> 01:36:07,674
I hurt the best,
most important people.
2067
01:36:07,774 --> 01:36:10,108
And I want them to know
that I'm sorry.
2068
01:36:10,199 --> 01:36:11,837
I am done being scared.
2069
01:36:12,281 --> 01:36:13,761
I'm done living in a world
2070
01:36:13,837 --> 01:36:15,626
where I don't get to be
who I am.
2071
01:36:15,639 --> 01:36:17,684
I deserve a great love story.
2072
01:36:17,728 --> 01:36:20,439
Disclaimer, this is about
to get romantic as eff,
2073
01:36:20,513 --> 01:36:22,602
so anyone adverse to
gratuitous feelings
2074
01:36:22,646 --> 01:36:24,561
kindly click over
to the BuzzFeed quiz
2075
01:36:24,604 --> 01:36:26,650
or resume the porn
you paused to read this.
2076
01:36:26,693 --> 01:36:28,220
Did you even use the ladder?
2077
01:36:28,231 --> 01:36:30,016
SIMON: This guy that I love
once wrote
2078
01:36:30,027 --> 01:36:32,400
that he felt like he was stuck
on a Ferris wheel.
2079
01:36:32,411 --> 01:36:34,243
On top of the world
one minute,
2080
01:36:34,266 --> 01:36:36,064
at rock bottom the next.
2081
01:36:36,222 --> 01:36:37,876
That's how I feel now.
2082
01:36:39,054 --> 01:36:41,697
I couldn't ask
for more amazing friends,
2083
01:36:41,708 --> 01:36:43,874
a more understanding family.
2084
01:36:43,885 --> 01:36:45,451
But it would all be
so much better
2085
01:36:45,495 --> 01:36:47,634
if I had someone
to share it with.
2086
01:36:49,586 --> 01:36:50,712
So, Blue...
2087
01:36:51,337 --> 01:36:54,556
I might not know your name
or what you look like.
2088
01:36:54,929 --> 01:36:56,743
But I know who you are.
2089
01:36:57,284 --> 01:36:59,681
I know you're funny
and thoughtful.
2090
01:36:59,814 --> 01:37:01,337
That you choose
your words carefully
2091
01:37:01,380 --> 01:37:02,729
and that they're
always perfect.
2092
01:37:04,383 --> 01:37:06,124
And I know that you've been
pretending for so long
2093
01:37:06,168 --> 01:37:08,371
it's hard to believe
you can stop.
2094
01:37:08,518 --> 01:37:09,432
I get it.
2095
01:37:10,247 --> 01:37:12,543
Like I told you
at the very beginning,
2096
01:37:12,652 --> 01:37:14,089
I'm just like you.
2097
01:37:14,132 --> 01:37:15,543
-GIRLS: Hi, Simon.
-SIMON: What's up?
2098
01:37:15,786 --> 01:37:17,262
SIMON: So, Blue...
2099
01:37:17,273 --> 01:37:19,431
after the play,
Friday at 10:00,
2100
01:37:19,442 --> 01:37:20,530
you know where I'll be.
2101
01:37:21,488 --> 01:37:24,614
No pressure for you to
show up, but I hope you do.
2102
01:37:24,902 --> 01:37:27,613
Because you deserve
a great love story too.
2103
01:37:27,711 --> 01:37:29,844
Love, Simon.
2104
01:37:41,206 --> 01:37:43,078
♪ Willkommen
2105
01:37:43,161 --> 01:37:44,859
♪ Bienvenue
2106
01:37:45,022 --> 01:37:50,811
♪ Welcome im cabaret
2107
01:37:51,691 --> 01:37:53,041
♪ Au cabaret
2108
01:37:54,085 --> 01:38:01,049
♪ To cabaret
2109
01:38:05,575 --> 01:38:07,446
[audience cheering]
2110
01:38:12,147 --> 01:38:13,626
[all gasping]
2111
01:38:14,366 --> 01:38:17,755
Okay. They're not
paying me enough for this.
2112
01:38:18,980 --> 01:38:20,590
[indistinct chatter]
2113
01:38:25,158 --> 01:38:26,507
-ABBY: Hi
-LEAH: Oh, my God.
2114
01:38:26,518 --> 01:38:27,519
-Oh, my God!
-You were amazing.
2115
01:38:27,530 --> 01:38:28,880
I'm not even kidding.
2116
01:38:28,891 --> 01:38:29,892
-You were, like, insane.
-Thank you!
2117
01:38:29,955 --> 01:38:31,347
-What's up?
-Baby!
2118
01:38:31,358 --> 01:38:32,812
[laughing]
2119
01:38:35,655 --> 01:38:37,678
ABBY: Yeah. Yeah.
2120
01:38:41,524 --> 01:38:42,734
[clears throat]
2121
01:38:43,004 --> 01:38:44,992
-Hey, Simon.
-Hey.
2122
01:38:47,732 --> 01:38:51,125
Do you wanna go to
the carnival with us tonight?
2123
01:38:54,797 --> 01:38:56,106
Yes.
2124
01:38:56,147 --> 01:38:57,235
-Yeah?
-SIMON: Yeah!
2125
01:38:57,279 --> 01:38:58,323
LEAH: Yay!
2126
01:38:58,367 --> 01:39:00,053
Get in here, Leah!
2127
01:39:00,064 --> 01:39:01,425
LEAH: [grunts] The love!
2128
01:39:01,790 --> 01:39:03,190
Thank you.
2129
01:39:22,260 --> 01:39:23,479
-We'll be right here.
-Yeah.
2130
01:39:23,522 --> 01:39:24,828
-Go get him.
-All right.
2131
01:39:24,871 --> 01:39:26,395
-Yes!
-Woo! Yeah!
2132
01:39:26,438 --> 01:39:27,744
Go, Simon!
2133
01:39:27,787 --> 01:39:29,940
-Spier, Spier, Spier!
-Woo!
2134
01:39:30,009 --> 01:39:32,119
That should last a while.
2135
01:39:35,360 --> 01:39:36,471
GIRL: Oh, my God, look.
2136
01:39:36,482 --> 01:39:38,352
I bet he's waiting
for the other gay kid.
2137
01:39:38,363 --> 01:39:40,581
Where's Dana?
She'll love this.
2138
01:39:41,845 --> 01:39:44,218
ABBY: You got this, buddy.
Proud of you.
2139
01:39:44,229 --> 01:39:45,621
[students cheering]
2140
01:39:45,708 --> 01:39:47,215
-Yeah, buddy!
-Yeah!
2141
01:39:47,226 --> 01:39:48,531
You got it! Woo!
2142
01:39:48,591 --> 01:39:50,104
ABBY: This is it.
2143
01:39:54,162 --> 01:39:55,163
ALL: Yeah!
2144
01:39:55,641 --> 01:39:56,686
[cheering continues]
2145
01:40:02,083 --> 01:40:03,646
We love you, Simon!
2146
01:40:04,259 --> 01:40:06,000
[all cheering]
2147
01:40:08,027 --> 01:40:10,666
Yo. Can you just...
Come on, no.
2148
01:40:15,574 --> 01:40:17,098
[all whooping]
2149
01:40:38,641 --> 01:40:41,339
Okay. That's your
last ride ticket, buddy.
2150
01:40:43,472 --> 01:40:45,474
MARTIN: Wait. Wait!
2151
01:40:48,564 --> 01:40:51,056
Simon, it's me.
2152
01:40:52,292 --> 01:40:54,775
I'm Blue. l love you.
2153
01:40:56,354 --> 01:40:58,954
-No, you're not.
-No, I'm not. I just...
2154
01:40:59,923 --> 01:41:02,603
This is so brutal.
2155
01:41:03,970 --> 01:41:05,822
Here. I'll tell you what.
2156
01:41:05,972 --> 01:41:08,627
I got a couple...
How much is it?
2157
01:41:09,280 --> 01:41:12,196
-It's four tickets, four bucks.
-Perfect. Okay. There you go.
2158
01:41:12,240 --> 01:41:13,556
Last one's on me.
2159
01:41:14,694 --> 01:41:15,868
Got it.
2160
01:41:17,565 --> 01:41:19,829
Last call for the Ferris wheel!
2161
01:41:22,163 --> 01:41:25,103
Oh, no, I can't watch.
I can't watch this, babe. No.
2162
01:41:25,166 --> 01:41:26,306
This is awful.
2163
01:41:26,776 --> 01:41:28,689
-Okay, Dora.
-Wait, wait.
2164
01:41:30,301 --> 01:41:31,697
Can I sit there?
2165
01:41:32,347 --> 01:41:34,642
I was kind of waiting
for somebody.
2166
01:41:35,306 --> 01:41:36,704
Yeah, I know.
2167
01:41:41,269 --> 01:41:42,634
It's Bram!
2168
01:41:48,624 --> 01:41:49,806
It's you.
2169
01:41:51,126 --> 01:41:52,336
It's me.
2170
01:41:55,631 --> 01:41:57,285
But that night at the party...
2171
01:41:57,328 --> 01:42:00,201
Yeah.
I was drunk and confused.
2172
01:42:00,244 --> 01:42:03,189
And it ended, like,
a minute after you saw us.
2173
01:42:06,218 --> 01:42:07,547
And you're Jewish.
2174
01:42:08,023 --> 01:42:08,937
Yeah.
2175
01:42:10,036 --> 01:42:11,439
Which is cool.
2176
01:42:12,094 --> 01:42:13,696
And I'm black too.
2177
01:42:14,650 --> 01:42:15,836
And gay.
2178
01:42:17,131 --> 01:42:18,382
It's kind of crazy, huh?
2179
01:42:18,393 --> 01:42:20,025
I didn't think you'd come.
2180
01:42:20,699 --> 01:42:22,005
Me neither.
2181
01:42:22,016 --> 01:42:25,747
Until I was walking towards you,
I didn't think I had it in me.
2182
01:42:33,712 --> 01:42:35,497
[all murmuring]
2183
01:42:46,059 --> 01:42:48,831
Are you disappointed
that it's me?
2184
01:42:51,570 --> 01:42:52,891
No.
2185
01:42:56,257 --> 01:42:59,608
[all cheering]
2186
01:43:33,187 --> 01:43:35,076
[cell phone ringing]
2187
01:43:39,300 --> 01:43:40,092
Hey.
2188
01:43:40,103 --> 01:43:41,757
LEAH: Have you seen
CreekSecrets?
2189
01:43:41,768 --> 01:43:44,381
There are six new confessions,
all signed.
2190
01:43:44,435 --> 01:43:45,480
Listen to this.
2191
01:43:46,101 --> 01:43:48,469
"My parents didn't come
and see me inCabaret.
2192
01:43:48,480 --> 01:43:50,517
They hate that I wanna be
an actor.
2193
01:43:50,528 --> 01:43:53,172
I don't know if they'll ever
be proud of me.
2194
01:43:53,183 --> 01:43:54,553
Taylor Metternich."
2195
01:43:54,663 --> 01:43:55,577
Wow.
2196
01:43:56,317 --> 01:43:58,029
You're a trendsetter, Spier.
2197
01:43:58,711 --> 01:44:01,822
Now, come on, get in the car.
We need to go.
2198
01:44:11,027 --> 01:44:12,637
-Good morning!
-Ah, there he is!
2199
01:44:12,681 --> 01:44:14,553
-Morning, Simon.
-Top of the morning, kid.
2200
01:44:14,564 --> 01:44:15,697
What's this?
2201
01:44:15,782 --> 01:44:17,849
-Nora's specialty.
-Mm, coconut?
2202
01:44:17,860 --> 01:44:19,590
-Yeah.
-You look good.
2203
01:44:19,601 --> 01:44:21,080
-Have a good day, honey.
-You too.
2204
01:44:21,124 --> 01:44:22,807
-Is it good?
-It's delicious.
2205
01:44:22,865 --> 01:44:24,562
-I'll see you guys.
-What, you're not gonna eat?
2206
01:44:24,606 --> 01:44:25,607
Bye, Simon.
2207
01:44:25,650 --> 01:44:29,480
["Wild Heart" playing]
2208
01:44:38,642 --> 01:44:40,645
-Mornin'.
-Mornin', buddy.
2209
01:44:42,145 --> 01:44:43,712
♪ No one will ever
Read the letters ♪
2210
01:44:43,755 --> 01:44:45,714
♪ Or the lies that I told
2211
01:44:46,062 --> 01:44:48,543
♪ From the years
I was changed... ♪
2212
01:44:48,829 --> 01:44:51,090
-Good morning.
-Hey! How you doin', Leah?
2213
01:44:51,101 --> 01:44:53,004
Pretty good. Pretty good.
2214
01:44:53,504 --> 01:44:55,245
♪ Why did they have to go
And run ♪
2215
01:44:55,289 --> 01:44:57,856
♪ From the dream far away
2216
01:44:58,422 --> 01:45:00,816
♪ Were we there? Was I brave?
2217
01:45:01,251 --> 01:45:03,297
♪ Ooh, ooh!
2218
01:45:03,862 --> 01:45:04,776
Hey!
2219
01:45:12,306 --> 01:45:13,219
Hey.
2220
01:45:17,419 --> 01:45:19,055
-Morning.
-Morning.
2221
01:45:22,487 --> 01:45:24,591
Everybody in?
-Yes.
-Oh, yeah.
2222
01:45:24,602 --> 01:45:28,341
All right, it's too
beautiful a day, so I think
I'm gonna actually take us
on a little adventure.
2223
01:45:28,452 --> 01:45:29,497
-Yes!
-Woo!
2224
01:45:29,540 --> 01:45:31,237
That's exactly what I need!
2225
01:45:31,281 --> 01:45:32,967
NICK: Yeah, adventure!
2226
01:45:34,163 --> 01:45:35,947
♪ Wild heart
2227
01:45:37,191 --> 01:45:38,366
♪ Wild heart
2228
01:45:40,079 --> 01:45:41,341
♪ Wild heart
2229
01:45:43,019 --> 01:45:44,238
♪ Wild heart
2230
01:45:45,993 --> 01:45:47,299
♪ Wild heart
2231
01:45:48,978 --> 01:45:50,153
♪ Wild heart
2232
01:45:52,209 --> 01:45:56,249
♪ When we met
Everything seemed all right ♪
2233
01:45:58,525 --> 01:46:00,960
♪ I turn and sing
On the sidewalk ♪
2234
01:46:01,106 --> 01:46:03,686
♪ Cut straight through
The moonlight ♪
2235
01:46:05,938 --> 01:46:09,289
♪ I loved those days
We didn't get out of bed ♪
2236
01:46:12,570 --> 01:46:16,096
♪ Left your taste in my mouth Your strange voice in my head ♪
2237
01:46:16,918 --> 01:46:19,573
♪ Oh I wanna hear it again
2238
01:46:20,752 --> 01:46:23,146
♪ Expect that we're caught
In a love song ♪
2239
01:46:23,592 --> 01:46:26,334
♪ So loud, oh, yeah
2240
01:46:27,756 --> 01:46:29,975
♪ No not so typical love song
2241
01:46:30,260 --> 01:46:32,958
♪ 'Cause it hurt us
Again and again ♪
2242
01:46:34,288 --> 01:46:36,681
♪ So say that
I really need you ♪
2243
01:46:37,005 --> 01:46:39,921
♪ So bad, oh, yeah
2244
01:46:40,977 --> 01:46:43,371
♪ No, not so typical
Love song ♪
2245
01:46:43,807 --> 01:46:46,462
♪ 'Cause it hurt us
Again and again ♪
2246
01:46:47,791 --> 01:46:49,358
♪ Hey
2247
01:46:55,357 --> 01:46:57,592
♪ La, la, la, la, la
2248
01:46:59,963 --> 01:47:02,118
♪ You leave the city
And chase bullet holes ♪
2249
01:47:02,129 --> 01:47:03,870
♪ That's actually starlight
2250
01:47:06,438 --> 01:47:09,049
♪ In those rare moments
You and I were brilliant ♪
2251
01:47:09,108 --> 01:47:10,849
♪ We were gonna be all right
2252
01:47:13,710 --> 01:47:16,931
♪ God I loved those days
We couldn't get out of bed ♪
2253
01:47:20,384 --> 01:47:23,953
♪ With your taste in my mouth
Or your words in my head ♪
2254
01:47:24,275 --> 01:47:27,103
♪ And now I wanna
Hear it again ♪
2255
01:47:28,484 --> 01:47:30,964
♪ Expect that we're caught
n a love song ♪
2256
01:47:31,488 --> 01:47:34,360
♪ So loud, oh, yeah
2257
01:47:35,294 --> 01:47:37,557
♪ No, not so typical
Love song ♪
2258
01:47:37,986 --> 01:47:40,641
♪ 'Cause it hurt us
Again and again ♪
2259
01:47:42,007 --> 01:47:44,314
♪ So say that
I really need you ♪
2260
01:47:44,679 --> 01:47:47,291
♪ So bad, oh, yeah
2261
01:47:48,861 --> 01:47:51,081
♪ No, not so typical
Love song ♪
2262
01:47:51,632 --> 01:47:54,243
♪ 'Cause it hurt us
Again and again ♪
2263
01:47:54,816 --> 01:48:01,823
[instrumental music playing]
2264
01:49:39,660 --> 01:49:41,662
Captioned by Deluxe
160954
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