All language subtitles for 1The Boy In The Dress (2014) English

I'm Dennis.

I live in an ordinary house,
in an ordinary street,

in an ordinary town.

But I feel... different.

I go to an ordinary school.

But I feel different there, too.

Put him on an amber alert.

Thank you.

Ah... Lisa James.
The serial offender.

Shall I measure her skirt,
Mr. Hawthorn?

Lisa James
is the coolest girl there.

She's always trying to bring
some style to the school.

Dennis?

Que voulez-vous acheter dans le magasin?
(What do you want to buy in the shop?)

(Bakery)

Um...

Une voiture?
(A car?)

Mais, c'est une boulangerie!
(But, it's a bakery!)

Nous ne vendons pas de voiture dans une
boulangerie. (We don't sell cars in a bakery.)

Ecoutez, Dennis. Ecoutez. Isabel?
(Listen, Dennis. Listen.)

De... je pain

Du. Du pain, oui. Du pain,
du pain. (Bread, bread.)

The teachers moan
that I'm always daydreaming.

Saturdays are the best,
cos that means football.

- All right, Darvesh? - Yep.
- Hi, Jaspreet. Is that a new dupatta?

Yes, thank you Dennis, it is.
Oh, you always notice things!

Wish my son would notice
things like that.

I notice you're embarrassing.

Football is the one thing
I'm good at.

Go on, Dennis!

The one thing that's mine.

Yes! Goal!

But I still don't feel like
I fit in.

Dad doesn't come to watch anymore.

But these days
he has got a lot on his plate.

- Oh! - Back! ...

Oh! I'm knackered
just watching that lot.

Sausages are a bit burnt.

And I forgot to put the hob on
for the peas, but they'll soon melt.

Things aren't easy in my family.

It was better when Mum was around.

When you were with her, you
felt like anything could happen.

Come on, everyone! Don't be boring!

Then one day it did.

She left.

After she'd gone, Dad burned every
single picture we had of her.

But I managed to save one.

- What you doing?
- Ssh!

But Dad being Dad,

he couldn't resist cooking
some sausages at the same time.

I suppose I wanted to escape
to some magical world.

And I found it in the most
unexpected place.

Dennis!

Dennis!

Boys can like Vogue too,
you know...

Ahem!

33 seconds.
That counts as browsing.

Just Match and... Vogue.

Vogue!

The fashionista's Bible.

An unusual choice
for a 12-year-old boy.

Raj, I need to be
getting home, so...

Come to think of it, I've never
had a boy your age buy Vogue.

It's a Christmas present.
For my auntie.

Oh, oh, oh!
Then you will need a card.

- A card?
- To go with the present.

I have Santa, a snowman, reindeers,

with deepest sympathy, ...

No, no, no. That's not right.
- The Santa one is fine.

Then you will want
wrapping paper and sticking tape,

and, oh, oh, oh! A gift tag.

That is nine pounds...

Come on, Dennis. Strike a pose.

- Dennis?

What you doing?

Nothing. Just... thinking.

What?

You know how when we were little,
we'd dress as pirates and Daleks?

Yeah.

Don't you sort of miss that?

Nah. Got better things to do now.

Like hang around outside the offy?

Nah. That's boring.
We hang around outside the Pound Shop.

- See you later!
- See you very soon.

It's a party!
- I'm not 18 years old!

- Why did you agree to have a party?
- You're acting like I'm not here!

Think it shrunk a bit.

There you go.
- Thanks, Dad.

Right, now. The lorry's being serviced
today, so I've got a bit of time.

I was going to fix that leaky
pipe in your room.

Where you going?
- I forgot my maths book.

- Hiya, Peter!
- Hi, Jaspreet.

Dennis'll be down in a sec.

Oh! Not too soon, I hope.
I do so enjoy our little chats.

Dennis!

Any sec now. Just...

Dennis!

Get down here! Here we are.
- Hiya.

Bye, Dad.

All the best.
Thanks for taking him again.

Oh, no. Not at all, Peter.

And if you need anything,
just call.

Anything at all, day or...

night.

Oh. Yep.

I'll just, er...

There we are, then.

See you later!

Yeah, I'm the captain.

Chief goal scorer,
so I take all the penalties.

He takes all the penalties.

Why do we have a school uniform,
Miss James?

To keep the nylon factories
going, sir?

Because a uniform ensures discipline
and without discipline...

Chaos ensues.

Miss Price, I'm capable
of finishing my own...

Sentences.

Sorry, Mr. Hawthorn.

Oi, Simms!

Think you're clever, don't you?

I'm just practising.

Well, let's see
if you've improved, then.

Hit that can.

- I expect everyone at this school

to be dressed immaculately
at all times.

Oh!

Ah...

Ssh! Quiet, please.

This is a detention,
it's not a discotheque.

What are you in for?

I kicked a ball
through the Head's window.

That was you? Respect.

What's your name?
- Dennis Simms.

- John's little brother?
- Yeah.

- I'm Lisa. - I know. You're a legend!
You're the coolest girl in school.

I love the way you dress. Every day
there's a new little twist and...

Don't worry, I'm not obsessed.

No, no. You don't sound it at all!

Vogue!

That's not mine.
I don't know how that got there.

- Can you get on
with your work, please?

I'm trying to buy some
Christmas present...

I meant, I'm doing marking.

I thought I was the only one
round here who read this.

You are, cos,
like I said, it's not mine.

- You into haute couture or
pret-a-porter? - I'm easy.

You're new to all this, aren't you?

Don't Pret make sandwiches?

But some of that stuff
is too mad to wear, surely.

And there's a cardigan on one page
and it says it costs £300.

That has got to be a mistake?

So many questions, young Hobbit.

And there was one dress,
and it had shoulders out here.

I mean, how can you
get on the bus in that?

Oh. Well, this is my house. Bye.

Oh, OK.

Bye.

- So, you'll come round Saturday, then?

- What for?
- To learn.

Everything.

- Where are you going?

To Lisa James' house.

Oh, yeah.
And I've got a date with Rihanna!

Hey.

- All right?
Come in. Fancy a drink?

- Why not?

Champagne cocktail?

You're under age.

Um Bongo?

- That's gorgeous! - Classic Dior.
Look at this from the '70s.

You see how the lines are all
the same?

Now, this is Italian Vogue.
My favourite.

- You'd look amazing in that.
- Wouldn't anyone?

My mum loved to dress up.
She always looked great.

What happened to her?

She ran off with this guy
who's got his own roofing company.

Granny says they've got a baby
together now.

- I'm sorry.
- Me too.

Now I live in a house
full of blokes.

It's just so boring
and grey sometimes.

Can I show you something?

Wow! Who made that?

Me.

I'd do it at school, but the Head
won't let us do fashion tech.

How am I meant to be a designer if I
can't even get any qualifications?

It's beautiful.

Maybe...

you should try it on?

What? No!

- Go on, try it on.
- I can't do that.

Who's going to
have a problem with it?

Well, let's see...

my dad, my brother, the Head,
the football team,

oh, and everyone else I know.

Not me.

I don't think there should be
any rules.

I think we should all wear...

whatever we like.

Yeah, but whoever heard,

of a boy in a dress?

- We've got the Christmas things
from out the shed. - Oh, right.

Thought we could all do
the tree together.

I used to do that with your mum.

I was on tinsel, she was on baubles.

Let's do it later, yeah?

Why don't you come to the semifinals?

Can't remember the last time
you saw me play footy. - Oh, I can.

She came, too.

It was just before that...

so-and-so came to fix the roof.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Lisa.

Yes, John, it's me.

Is Dennis in?

- Who?
- Your brother, Dennis.

Oh, yeah. Wait there.

He's out all day, but I'll tell you
who's here, and that's me.

Little accident?

I thought we could
hang around outside the chippy?

Throw things in the canal?
Whatever you want to do, babes.

Oh look, he's back.

- You ready?
- Sure. See you later.

Raise your game, son.

I've got something to show you.

Really?

Do you like it?

- I love it.
- I've been working on it all night.

I need to make a few adjustments.

Will you... put it on?

- Put on the dress?
- Yeah.

Oh. Unless, of course,
you really don't want to?

No, no! I mean,
if it helps you out...

Why are you laughing?

You look incredible.

- How does it fit?
- Perfectly!

So,

who did you make it for?

- You!
- What?!

Oh, I'm not stupid. I can tell
you really wanted to wear one.

And you could totally
pass for a girl,

with a few extra little touches.

- Do you really think so?
- You could go out in that.

- Where?
- I dunno.

Down the street? Into town?
- How about Raj's shop!

You would get away with it,
I swear.

Yeah, but...

we aren't actually
going to do it, are we?

I'm scared.

Just be confident.
The world is your catwalk.

This isn't a good idea.
Raj knows me.

He knows Dennis.
He's never met Denise.

Who's Denise?

Aha, Lisa, my favourite customer!

Who is your new friend?

This is my French exchange...
person. Girl. Student.

Bonjour.
(Hello.)

Je am... Denise.
(I'm... Denise.)

Wilkommen! (Welcome!)
My shop is famous around the world.

Surely you've heard of it?

Non, Monsieur Raj.
(No, Mr. Raj.)

You know my name! You must have!

How about commemorative postcards
to send to your family back in France?

- They're blank.
- Yes, I know.

You can draw British
landmarks on them with...

this set of colouring pens,
priced just £4.99.

We'll just take this magazine.

Now, Denise, before you leave,

you must try our traditional
British delicacies.

These Twixs came in fresh
this morning.

Non, merci.
(No, thank you.)

Le Munch De Monster, s'il vous plaît.
(The Monster of Munch, please.)

Excellent choice, senorita.

- Bye, Raj.
- Bye.

Au revoir.
(Goodbye.)

Ciao!

- Peter. Perfect Peter.

Peter the poppet.

Peter Piper picked a peck
of pickled pepper.

What exactly do you want?

Yeah, is Dennis ready for the semis?

- Well, he's...
- Do you know, Peter,

every time I pop by and accidently
peep through your windows,

- Oh. - I can't help thinking that this
house could do with a woman's touch.

- He's... - So I've bought
you some scatter cushions.

And a couple of photo frames.

And oh, look... who's this?

He's out. With that
Lisa James girl from school.

I will find him.

Stay strong.

That was hilarious!

I know!
So, when do we do it again?

How about never?

- What about the shopping centre?
Tons of people there. - No!

Lisa, where's Dennis?

The semifinals!

Er, Dennis?

He said to tell you, if I saw you,

like, um, I'm seeing you now,

to say that he...

will be home in five minutes.

Well, come on!

How can anyone run in these?

All right, speedy!

Where were you?

Doing weights.

Are you a fan
of the rap music, Dennis?

Just say no.

And your bikini.

Come and see me.

See me.

So easily. Ooh...

Please, don't do that.

Eh eh eh-eh!

Ah ha. Look at him!

Oh, go back to Hogwarts.

Darv, is it weird
wearing a patka on your head?

Nah, it's just a Sikh thing.

Yeah, I know, but you're the
only boy at school who wears one.

It's no big deal.

And it would be boring if we were
all the same, wouldn't it?

- So, you're playing St Kenneth's.

Private school, state-of-the-art
sports facilities,

and, let's face it,
a better gene pool.

Now, on paper,
things don't look very good.

And, looking at you now,
it's a lot worse.

You're always out of breath,
you've got chubby legs,

and most of you are still waiting
for your growth spurt.

Sorry, son, it's been and gone.

Right, come on.
Put your hands in the middle.

Now lift them up.

Whoosh.

That's supposed to help.
I've got no idea how.

Come on, then.

Whoo! Come on, football!
Oh! Oh! Oh!

- It's tails.
- Yes! Won the toss.

Once again, the captain leads
from the front.

Gareth, we were all
talking about penalties...

I'm the captain, I'm taking them.

- Change ends!

- Fuckin ace.

- Dennis.

To me.

Good luck.

Come on, Gareth!

Bad luck!

- Strike it!

Yes!

What's happened?

We won.

- Really?
- Yes.

Pretty good.

You should stick to quidditch.

Dad! We won!

That's great. Well done.

So, you didn't get
a chance to put up the tree?

Oh. Sorry, son.

We're not doing Christmas this year.
I just can't face it.

Dad, sometimes I think
you choose to be miserable.

- Dennis!
- He does!

It's like you made a rule,
you can never forget about Mum.

Well, it's not that easy.

- You have to break the rules
sometimes. - You can talk!

- What? - He's got a picture
of Mum under his mattress.

Bring it here now.

I thought I said no reminders
of your mum in this house.

- But, Dad... - This is going
in the bin where it belongs.

It's my only one.

I don't care.

I'm going out!

Dennis?

Are you OK? - I want
to wear the dress again.

What? Go back to Raj's?

No. I want to do something
much bigger. Something crazy.

How crazy?

Really crazy.

You ready?

Who's this?

My French exchange student.

Bonjour.
(Hello.)

Je m'appelle
(My name)

Denise.

She's from Paris.

I thought all the exchanges
were from Marseille.

She's from Rue de Paris
in Marseille.

Even if she is, nobody enters

this school,
of which I'm the secretary,

without written permission.

Oh, I cleared it with the Head.

Then let's go
to the office and check.

Now.

Sure. No problem.

I mean, it will look like
you're questioning his authority,

but you know best.

Lisa James, you can talk to me
until you're blue in the face,

but none of that is going
to change the fact that I've

just decided it's all fine.

Off to your lessons.

How long are you staying?

Cool bangle. Is it from France?

Is it hard having to speak
French all day?

Non.
(No.)

Sit down, shut up.

You're new.

She's from France.

Oh, bonjour.
(Oh, hello.)

No, that's all I've got.

I'm Mr. Norris.

I teach PE, but

they also make me take history.

You know much history?

No.

Good. Then you'll fit right in.

Start of the First World War. 1914.

The Prime Minister

was Winston Churchill.

Gareth. Gareth Small.

Captain of the football team.

Bonjour, Gareth.
(Hello, Gareth)

Je too enjoy le football.

So, do you score all the goals?

I can't lie, babes. Yes, I do.

Yeah, he does. What of it?

Because I heard
it is a boy called...

Dennis.

Don't know who told you that.

Yeah, who told you that?

Everyone says it.

Yes, they say you, are the one
who miss all the penalties.

No, no, babes,
I'm the star player.

You must come and watch a game.

Don't come and watch a game.

Come on, Gareth!

Hey, Denise!

- Denise!
- Hey, Denise!

- This is just the best.
- I know.

- Dennis?
- Ssh!

What on earth are you doing?

I'm just being
someone else for the day.

- Are you nuts?
- It's fun.

It's not going to be fun
when everyone finds out.

You'll never live this down.
- Only you've recognised me.

So far!
You've got to get changed.

Relax!
I've got it all under control.

So, what's next?

Double French.

What?
I'm getting out of here.

Bonjour!
(Hello!)

Bonjour, Madame.

- Mademoiselle. (Miss.)
- Mademoiselle Windsor.

Asseyez-vous.
(Sit down.)

Et vous, qui etes-vous?
(And you, who are you?)

Who are you?

This is Denise,
she's my German pen pal, Miss.

I thought you said
she was from France.

Good point. Thank you.

French pen pal.

Ah, soyez la bienvenue!
(Ah, welcome!)

Quel grand plaisir
(What a delight)

de vous accueillir parmi nous
(to welcome you among us)

dans notre humble classe!
(in our humble class!)

C'est tout simplement merveilleux!
(This is just wonderful!)

J'ai tellement de questions à vous poser.
(I have so many questions to ask you.)

De qu'elle région de France venez-vous?
(From which part of France are you coming?)

Comment sont les écoles dans votre région?
(How are the schools in your area?)

Quel est votre passe temps favori?
(What's your favorite hobby?)

Que font vos parents?
(What do your parents do?)

Faites nous part de vos premières
(Tell us about your first)

passion de l'Angleterre?
(passion of England?)

May I speak...
in English for one moment?

Yes, of course.

How can I put this,
how you say, politely?

Poliment! Poliment!
(Politely! Politely!)

- Madame Windsor.
- Mademoiselle.

I'm very sorry,
but I'm not understanding

anything you are saying...

because of your very poor
French accent.

Do you need a tissue?

I'll be fine.
I've just got something in my eye.

I'll step outside for a minute.
My eye. L'oreille! (The ear!)

What was all that about?

Ms Windsor's one of the nice ones
and you totally humiliated her.

You could have told me
you had double French today.

I forgot. Sorry.

- There's nothing I can do now.
- Look out!

I don't know where he is.

He left the house this
morning before me.

Bunking off, I presume.

That's not like Dennis.
I'm worried about him.

I shall have to call your father.

Just let me have a quick look
round first? - Oh!

What do you think you're doing?

Coming over here,
stealing our boyfriends?

I'm not liking le Gareth in that way.

You lying French tart!

Girls fight over me all the time.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Oh, my days.

Dennis?

Silence!

You.

The boy in the dress.
- Sir, it's not his fault, I...

I said, silence.

Would you care
to explain yourself, boy?

Why did you come to school
today dressed in a...

dress?

Don't know, sir.

Don't know, sir.

Dennis Simms, you are a disgrace.

But, then, what can we expect
of a boy from a...

broken home?

You are expelled!

- But, sir...
- There are no buts, boy!

But, Mr Hawthorn,
you didn't expel Karl Bates

and he ate the school goldfish.

You are on a final warning,
Lisa James.

Please, sir, I don't want
to let my friends down.

It's the cup final on Saturday.

But, Dennis Simms,
you will not play on Saturday

or any other day.

You are no longer a pupil
at this school.

Leave the premises at once.

- Expelled?

For wearing a dress?

And a wig.

Oh, and some earrings.

I thought
I brought you up to be men

and this is
how you pay me back?

I've failed.

I'll never wear a dress,
so you've only half failed.

Why?

I just want to know why.

I guess...

it made me happy.

Go to your room
and do your homework.

I've been expelled.
I haven't got any homework.

Then just go to your room.

You can check my cupboard,
if you like.

Just jeans and hoodies and...

He can't
talk to you now, Darvesh.

Please, can you tell Dennis
he's still my friend?

Your son always stuck up for me

and it's very important he knows
that, whatever's happened,

he'll always be my friend.

Right, you're getting
home-schooled from now on.

- But it's Saturday.
- I don't care.

I've circled Deal Or No Deal.
That's your maths.

Pointless, general knowledge.

Antiques Roadshow, history,
and I want them all watched

by the time I get
back from the depot, thank you.

Oh, no.

Peter!

Can we please talk about Dennis?

You've got between here
and the lorry.

Dennis is...
He's such a special boy.

I do hope you're not being
too hard on him.

What if it was your son
who went to school in a dress?

Oh, I don't think Darvesh
would go to school in a dress.

He'd probably wear a salwar kameez.

Yeah, all right, a salwar kameez!

Well, you know, I'd...

Well, I'd...

See! You wouldn't like it either.

Peter, please, listen!

No, you listen to me for once!

All right, these are my boys
and I'll bring them up my way.

And I don't need your stupid
scatter cushions

and I certainly don't need
your advice.

But you love your son
whatever he does.

Don't you?

The Under-16s School Cup Final
will kick off in 15 minutes.

15 minutes to kick off.

If they're under 16
then I'm Angelina blooming Jolie.

Mr. Hawthorn,
I need to talk to you about Dennis.

Lisa James,
I'm not interested in your pleading.

- But, sir... - One more word
and I will expel you too.

- So, here we are. Cup Final day.

Yeah! Yes!

All right. I want you all
to remember what got you here.

Luck,

and a lad in a frock
who got kicked out.

Now, the other lot, they've won
the Cup the last three years

and I'm going to be honest,

they play dirty.

They'll hack you down,
they'll elbow you in the face.

I'm just glad it's you
and not me out there.

But remember one thing,

win or lose, you made it
to a Cup Final,

which looks great on my CV.

Now get out there.

With their main weapons
knocked out of commission,

the platoon now faced
a far superior enemy force.

The odds seemed insurmountable.

Hiya, gang!

Got some bad news for you.

The referee has sprained his ankle.

Now, the stand-in referee's
cat's died

and he's very upset.
Sad face.

But the good news is you've got me!
Yay! Happy face!

Now, I don't know if you know me.
I actually teach drama.

To be honest with you, I don't
know a huge amount about football,

but I've seen a couple of games
on TV and how hard can it be?

Right. Heads or tails?

Heads.

Oh, heads it is!

Elm Forest to serve!

Oh, exciting!

- Come on!
- Come on!

We've got no chance without Dennis.

Shut up. We don't need him.

With no protection offered by
the inexperienced commander,

the platoon was quickly crushed
by the superior firepower

of a German panzer division.

Red card!

Now, that wasn't nice, was it?

Say sorry.

Sorry.

Good boy. Now, deep breath.

Let out the anger.

Oh.

It's a massacre.
You're the captain, do something.

You're right.

Sir...

You boys
are bringing shame on us all.

We need Dennis.
He's our best player.

I will not have that

cross-dressing miscreant
representing my school.

But we need him!

Get back out there
and play, Gareth Small.

Without reinforcements,
defeat was imminent.

Oh.

And that's the game.
Well done, gang.

It's half-time!

Sorry. My mistake. Interval!

The score is four points to nil.

The troops were
on the verge of surrender,

but, at the last minute,
a message arrived

from the high command.

Going to miss
the Bake Off at this rate.

Oh!

Darvesh, you look gorgeous!

Dennis! Come on, Dennis!

Go get them, girls.

Small! Get over here!

What on earth do you think
you're doing, boy?

Sir, you expelled Dennis
for wearing a dress,

but you can't expel us all.

Are they wearing dresses?

Look after these. Thank you.

Peter!

Peter!

Oh! - Jaspreet.
- Oh, Peter!

- I... - You have...
- I have... - You have to...

I have been thinking
about what you said.

You have to come with me.

- What? Now? - Yes. Now!
Something wonderful's happened.

Come on, John!

Oh, here we go again.

Peter, just look
at your beautiful son.

Look at what he can do.

Go on!

Yes!

4-4.

Oh, the drama!

Come on, Dennis.
Score one for me!

Penalty! Penalty.

- Penalty.

Come on, Dennis.

Come on, you can do it.
Come on, Dennis

Hey.
- Dad, you came!

Go get 'em, son.

Good luck, Gareth.

It's yours, mate,
if you're up to it.

Oh, my word, it's Elm Forest!

Did we win?

We won?!

Yes! Yes! I knew it!

I knew you could do it! Yeah!

Somebody should sign that lad.

This is my son.

This is my boy.

That's my brother, that is.

And I love him...

more than I can ever say.

How did you get to be so good, son?

How did you get so ruddy good?

How beautiful.

Not you, boy.
You're not an Elm Forest pupil.

But I thought...

Well, you thought wrong.

Now get off the
pitch this instant.

Hey,

you wouldn't have that cup
if it wasn't for my Dennis.

Your son,

came to school, wearing a dress.

He is an appalling specimen.

I couldn't be prouder of him.

We all are.

Come on, love, let's go home.

Have you found a new school yet?

Not yet. I'm going to miss you.

I'm going to miss you too.

Come on, the new Vogue's out today.
I'll buy you one as a present.

Aha, my favourite customers!

A very merry Christmas to you both.

Merry Christmas, Raj.

Dennis,

I'm so sorry
to hear about your expulsion.

- Thanks. - What is so wrong
with wearing a dress, huh?

I often like to dress
entirely in red Lycra

and pretend I'm on Strictly!

It's no biggie!

Now, if only there was a way to
reason with your headmaster.

- I've tried everything.
- Hmm. You could talk to his sister.

- His sister?
- Yes.

She comes here first thing every
Sunday morning to buy her newspaper.

You could ask her to speak to him.

I guess it's worth a try.

Now, would you like to buy
some of my special ice cream soup?

What's ice cream soup?

Something I invented while waiting
for the freezer repair man to come.

It also has oven chips
and fish fingers in it.

This is silly.

Who needs to go to
the shops this early?

Think that's her?

She could be his sister.
She's very tall.

And she's got enormous feet.

You don't think?

Mr. Hawthorn!

Do you mean my brother?

Erm, he's at home dining on toast
and eggs this fine morning.

It is you!

Children, my name is
Harriet Hawthorn!

Pleased to make your acquaintance.
- We know it's you.

Oh, all right.
I'm Mr Hawthorn. What of it?

You're in... You're in a dress.

How dare you?!
This is a blouse and skirt ensemble.

All right, a blouse and skirt!

Listen, being a headmaster
is an extremely stressful job.

If I want to relax in my time off
wearing clothes I find... comfortable,

well, that's my business.

I was comfortable in a dress
until you expelled me.

Yes, but you were breaking a school
rule. It's completely different.

Oh, yeah, I bet all the kids
at school will see it the same way,

when we tell them.

- Are you trying
to blackmail me? - No.

- Er, yes.
- Sorry, yes.

What do you want?

Dennis Simms.
What do you think you're doing here?

Look at this. It's a monstrosity.

It's still school uniform.

I just gave it a little re-edit.

In all my years,
I've never seen anything quite...

So..., very creative. Please.

What?

That's a very pretty frock you're
wearing today, Miss Price.

Oh,

thank you.

It's, er, just from the shop
on the high street.

Do they stock it for the...

larger lady?

- You're back? - Yeah.
- What about Hawthorn?

He, erm, came round
to my way of thinking.

I'll see you later.

Oh, right, good luck.

- Miss?
- Oh. Oh, you're back.

I'm sorry I said
you had a bad French accent.

You've actually got the best
French accent out there,

and that includes all
the ones in France.

Oh, do you really think so?

Merci beaucoup, Dennis.
(Thank you, Dennis.)

I must say, you pulled off that
dress rather well.

Tres a la mode.
(Very fashionable.)

Thanks, Miss.

I've, er, I've written
a play for the spring term

and there's a perfect
part for you in it.

It's called Joan of Arc.

Can you guess
who I want you to play?

- Joan? - Correctement!
(Correctly!) Yes!

You see, she was a girl that
wore boys' clothes.

So you would be a boy
dressed as a girl dressed as a boy.

That would really make people think,
wouldn't it? - I suppose.

Très bien. (Very well.)
It's all in French, by the way.

- Hey.

This is yours.

I'm sorry.

I miss her too.

John, you're not going to eat
all that, yeah? - Why not?

Well, because we've got guests
coming for our little Christmas party.

- Who?
- Just some friends and, er,

a lady friend.

Happy Christmas!

Happy Christmas to you, too.

Aren't you
going to ask us in, then?

Oh, of course, come in,
come in, come on. Through there.

- Hi Darvesh. - All right?
- A surprise.

Peter!

You bad, bad boy!

Eh?

- Ooooh!
- Come on!

- Wow! - Perfect, Peter.
- Yeah, don't start that.

Peter, OK, I'm starving.
Got any mince pies?

Put that down!

- Merry Christmas!

I'm Dennis.

I live in an ordinary house,
in an ordinary street,

in an ordinary town.

I feel different.
But, then, doesn't everyone?

Merry Christmas!

The End

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