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1
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:22,160
APPLAUSE
2
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Thank you.
3
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,640
Thank you, thank you,
4
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,760
thank you so much.
5
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,280
Hello and welcome to Top Gear.
6
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:37,040
And tonight it's the show
where Freddie nearly kills
7
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,560
all three of us.
8
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,120
Paddy, it was a little crash.
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00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,240
And, besides, it was your daft
idea in the first place.
10
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,960
Lurch does make a valid point here.
Lurch?!
11
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,120
He does, OK?
You've only got yourself to blame.
12
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,000
It wasn't a daft idea.
It was a genius idea.
13
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:55,360
I reckoned I could find the ultimate
second-hand family car on the cheap
14
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,920
and then I went out
and bought myself one.
15
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,080
Families of Great Britain,
you can thank me later.
16
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:15,960
Makes you feel alive
driving a car like this.
17
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:23,040
Fred will love it for the space and
Chris just for the drive quality.
18
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,960
Whatever it is, it better be good.
19
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,040
Oh. My. God.
20
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,800
HORN TOOTS
Hey!
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What are you doing?
What's wrong with you?
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What are you doing?
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00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:46,320
What are you doing?
The ultimate family car, my friends.
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00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:51,680
1,300 quid for a Daimler -
posh and cheap, a bit like you two.
25
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,320
"Family"? Yeah!
26
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,200
What, Addams Family?
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00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,440
1,300 quid for a Daimler, lads.
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00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,760
And your idea is that this
is family transport? Absolutely.
29
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,360
A hearse? Yeah.
30
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,360
So, you'd put your kids
in the back of that?
31
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:07,040
Look at the room.
It's not a case of room.
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00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,120
Of course it is. That's what all
family cars are about - space,
33
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,760
getting things in the back,
in and out easy,
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00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,920
comfortable to drive, beautiful.
35
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:17,680
Death! Yeah.
I've got something for you.
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00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,280
Oh, there she is. Have a look
under there, Christopher. 00:02:25,200
Hey! Now, look at his little face!
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Is that a 3.2 or a 4 litre?
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Four litre. Is it? Straight six.
Look at him.
Look, he's changing already.
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00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,440
Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, can
I stop you? Don't humour him.
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00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,880
Look at you, he's getting into it.
I knew he'd like that.
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Here, Fred.
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Have a look at that.
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Eh?
46
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,560
Yeah?
47
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,280
Shopping. Get yourself in here.
48
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,960
What are you, seven foot?
49
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,560
Look at that, easy. Look at that!
Where's he gone? Where's
50
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He's in there. Look at the storage.
51
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Why are you in there?
That's where dead people go!
52
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,080
Look at that. How's that for you?
53
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,920
Yeah, room for all the cricket
bags in for the kids.
54
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:03,000
Are you claustropho...? It doesn't
matter. Don't worry about it,
55
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,480
he's all right. In fact,
listen to that now.
BANGING 00:03:07,600
Oh, he's freaking out.
You're coming out.
57
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,520
He's freaking out.
He's freaking out.
58
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,480
Are you all right, son?
It stinks in here, by the way.
59
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:13,840
It stinks!
60
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,840
Yeah, let's get him out.
61
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,440
Here you are. Now, look at that.
62
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,960
Don't forget me, Chris, I can't...
63
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,440
I don't want to end up in the back
for real, do I? Eh?
64
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,680
Bloody hell!
65
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,720
Get in, I'll take you out for
a drive. I'll change your mind.
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00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,880
It just smells of death.
67
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,080
Forget that.
68
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:39,360
I'll get a magic tree from
a petrol station or something.
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00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,240
Prepare to be impressed.
70
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,800
It's wet down here, Paddy.
Why is it wet down there?
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00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,360
You don't want to know what that is.
Tears. Tears!
72
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:55,840
Here we go, boys.
73
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,600
Straight six engine,
silky smooth,
74
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,480
240bhp.
75
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,000
I can see some of the appeal
of the six-cylinder engine.
76
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,720
I like the Daimler name.
77
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,640
Also, I love the XJ40 dashboard.
78
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,480
I mean, that was space age.
79
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:16,680
This is the classic Jaguar
J-Gate from the mid '90s,
80
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,200
so, what you do, these
are your normal driving modes
81
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,200
and you go across
to the sport mode.
82
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,560
Now you can select gears manually.
Lovely.
83
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,840
But how many miles has she done?
84
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,040
140,000.
85
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,920
That's a lot.
It is a lot in a normal car.
86
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,480
Yeah.
But that's 140,000 death miles.
87
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,840
Death miles?
And that's meant to sell it?
88
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,920
That's meant to sell it to me?
Death miles?
89
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,560
The most gentlest, lovely,
respectful miles you can have.
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00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,320
This car's never been pushed.
Paddy, what are those down there?
91
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,120
They don't look normal.
92
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,040
Now, I'm so glad you've asked that.
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00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,640
You've gone to
the supermarket, right?
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00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,000
You've got your Viennettas
and your lollies in the back.
95
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,680
You get home to the kids,
they're excited - it's all melted.
96
00:04:56,680 --> 00:05:00,280
This, in the back, pull them out...
97
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,360
..cooling system in the back,
air con.
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00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:04,960
Keeps everything cold.
99
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,240
Why is there a cooling...?
100
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,080
Oh, my...
101
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,240
Clearly, the hearse
was something special.
102
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I wouldn't want to be
seen dead in this car.
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00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:20,800
And to find out just how special,
we've been told to head to the track
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00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,400
for a chance to show
what the ultimate family car
105
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,080
could really do.
106
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Eurgh! There's a comb!
107
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,200
Yeah, that's mine.
108
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That's why it's falling out.
That's why.
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00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,240
That's mine.
110
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Have you seen the mung on that?
Look at that.
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00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,600
Oh, no, that isn't mine.
That isn't...
112
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No! Get off! Oh, no!
113
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Eyes on the road! No!
114
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:49,560
As I was saying, we'd been told
to head to the track for the chance
115
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,680
to show what the ultimate
family car can really do.
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That is just a lot of vanilla.
117
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,960
Eyes right, boys. Eyes right.
118
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,480
All right?
119
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,640
"Time to test your hearse
against some actual family cars.
120
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,520
"These, according to What Car?
magazine, are the finest
121
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,880
"on the market today."
122
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,400
That's a joke in itself.
123
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,920
"You will now take them on
in the Last Space Race."
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00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,200
Oh, yes.
125
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,960
Recreating a battle played out
a thousand times a day
126
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:35,240
in every supermarket car park
across the land...
127
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:40,600
..this would be a drag race
to the last three parking spaces.
128
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,160
But first...
129
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,240
..me and Harris had to choose
our own family car
130
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,280
to take on the hearse.
131
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,800
Now, I've decided that I'm going
to go for the one that looks slow
132
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,680
but is, in fact, I think, the
quickest - the VW Touran.
133
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,240
Whoa! Choose your own.
134
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,520
I'm going to beat you
in the Kia Sportage.
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00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,280
As long as one of us
beats the hearse.
136
00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:06,080
Not one of us - both of us, Chris.
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00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,360
Eh?
138
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,480
Lads, I don't want to put you off,
but in the car next to me
139
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,800
is Damon Hill.
140
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,160
Hey, Freddie, I think Damon's
141
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,960
won a Sports Personality
Of The Year as well.
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00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,880
It's not something I like to bang on
about, Paddy, to be honest.
143
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,040
To be fair, Damon's
won it twice, though.
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00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,920
So, effectively, you're not even
the most popular sportsman
145
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,880
in a family-car drag race.
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00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,200
Have a bit of that, Damon.
Have a bit of that.
147
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,000
Flick it into sport mode.
148
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,000
Never mind Damon Hill.
Put him out of your mind.
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00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,200
It's all about the hearse.
Beat the hearse.
150
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,680
Drop that flag, sunshine.
151
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:03,320
Come on...
152
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,800
Ooh, straight off the line!
153
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,480
Fastest off the line.
154
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,000
It's nothing, this car.
It's nothing.
155
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,680
It's a good start for Damon.
He's off.
156
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,840
It's a good start, but I've got him.
I've got him.
157
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,400
Oh, my God, look at the hearse.
158
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,880
Come on, Daimler!
159
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:29,520
I'm at the back.
No, come on, move!
160
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,360
Look at the hearse!
Look at the hearse!
161
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,720
Look at the hearse!
162
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,840
Undertaker doing
a bit of overtaking.
163
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,680
Oh, not Paddy McGuinness.
Not in the hearse.
164
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,760
Right, three spaces.
165
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,880
I'm definitely second or third.
166
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,720
I'm going for that left spot.
Got to go for that left spot.
167
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,560
You little swine! Yes.
168
00:08:57,560 --> 00:09:00,600
Oh, my God, it's not stopping.
Oh, my God, it's not stopping!
169
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,840
Ooh.
170
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,680
PADDY LAUGHS
171
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,560
I have just beat Damon Hill
172
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:13,760
in a drag race in a hearse.
173
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:20,920
Don't, don't, don't.
174
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,800
Oh, Little and Large,
glad you could make it.
175
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,440
Basically what's happened while you
were pootling down there
176
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,440
is we've just had a race. It's not
whether you win, it's h
177
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:29,960
How much is your motor?
178
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,200
What would you say? New.
179
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:36,400
Oh, 27,500, 33,000 as tested.
180
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,560
£1,300.
181
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:40,320
Yes. It's just beat you.
182
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,200
It's a Daimler.
183
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,840
It's edging its way up to being
the ultimate family car, boys.
184
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:50,560
It's not! Why is a family car the
car that is fastest in a d
185
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:53,360
Well... It's like building
a library in Bolton, it's pointl
186
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,280
I get it, lads. I get it.
187
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,160
You were nowhere near
and you're a little bit bitter,
188
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,680
you're a little bit angry.
189
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,080
Ey up.
190
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,280
You all right?
191
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:05,960
Oh, God, here we go.
192
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:09,400
"Because any good family car must
carry a lot of stuff in its life,
193
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,480
"next up is a boot space
challenge..." Oh, no!
194
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,520
"..where you will pack your cars
with as many kilos of family stuff
195
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,560
"as you can."
Look at the size of it!
196
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,800
"Whoever has the most
is the winner."
197
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:24,280
If there's one car that was built
for moving things, it was this!
198
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,200
Have you written these challenges?
Have you written these challenges?
199
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,880
It's just becoming more and more...
Can we be clear about one thing?
200
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,240
It's not necessarily
how big your car is,
201
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,920
it's how you pack. When you go away
on a family holiday,
202
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,920
there's a strategy to packing
and I think you're a bit gung ho
203
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,400
and a bit overconfident.
204
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,400
I think some clever packaging
in these very practical cars could
205
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,200
still win this. Yes, I actually
think he's onto something th
206
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,240
Now, do you want to swap your car?
You can swap your car. I don't mind.
207
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,560
You can take Hill's Berlingo
for all I care.
208
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,200
Damon!
209
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,680
So, the challenge was simple.
210
00:10:56,680 --> 00:11:00,720
Before us lay everything you'd ever
expect a good family car to carry.
211
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:06,240
Our job was to cram as much
of it in as we could...
212
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,600
HOOTER BLOWS
213
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,240
..in just ten minutes.
214
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:14,680
And I had, let's be honest,
nothing to worry about.
215
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:16,600
Look at the space!
216
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,080
Because while strategic Harris
was taking things seriously...
217
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,840
Neat and tidy is the way forward.
218
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:27,600
..unfortunately, he'd parked too
close to a man who wasn't.
219
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,080
Are you going for it, Harris?
220
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,200
No, you can't... These look heavy.
221
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,440
You...!
222
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,440
Yeah, that will do.
223
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,640
Just back up to the old ladies.
224
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,160
Go away!
225
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,600
Chris, Chris, Chris...
226
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:51,880
There's your keys.
227
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,560
Ladies, I'm a bit of a gentleman,
so I'd never ask anybody
228
00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:00,080
how old they are,
but who's heaviest?
229
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,960
No, you can't ask that.
230
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,720
Oh! I'm just giving these ladies...
Paddy, you can't... 00:12:06,080
Giving these ladies a hug.
232
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,600
Yeah, come on, come with me, madam.
233
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,360
There you go.
234
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,560
That's it.
235
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,160
Here you go, Pat.
236
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,480
Make yourself at home.
Have a potato, have a swede.
237
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,520
Over there,
that's Sir Freddie Flintoff.
238
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,760
No, I need weight.
239
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,040
As you can see...
240
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,400
No.
241
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,320
..he's not very well-adjusted.
242
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,600
Let him get out the way.
243
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,360
He's not safe.
244
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,960
Right, I'm not sure
I can do much more.
245
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:53,200
With just a minute left
on the clock, and all three cars
246
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:57,440
almost full, it looked like my
strategy might just be paying off.
247
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,240
Until, all of a sudden...
248
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,320
Paddy, Paddy. ..it wasn't.
249
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:03,720
Let's empty it.
250
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,720
No, no!
251
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,040
Go on, Paddy! Go on, Paddy!
252
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,360
Go on, Paddy!
253
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:19,920
Let's put this in the car.
254
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,200
Hey, I've got something.
255
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,640
It was funny this morning,
wasn't it, with my head?
256
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,760
Put him in, bit of ballast.
257
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:33,960
BLEEP!
258
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,880
Don't worry if you hear
anybody in the back, madam.
259
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,640
It's just Chris Harris.
260
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,960
HOOTER BLOWS
261
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,080
Where did they find you?
262
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,080
You're an animal. You're an animal.
263
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,920
Everything all right, boys?
264
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:01,560
All right, Pad?
265
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,680
LAUGHTER
266
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:17,240
Perfect shape for his head.
Just perfect. Like, bang.
267
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,640
Full teapot here. Full teapot!
268
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,600
I'm not bothered.
269
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,520
You are feral.
If you were a cat, they'd spay you.
270
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,080
You should not be allowed to
reproduce. You're all kinds of
271
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,240
wrong. You've picked me up,
rag-dolled me round,
272
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:32,200
you've thrown me into a coffin hole
and locked me there and,
273
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,520
answer me this, how did you manage
to cut my head with a melon?
274
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,120
Never mind that, you find it funny
when I get a heavy wooden latch
275
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,760
on my head. I attack you with
a soft fruit and, look at him,
276
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,200
he's whingeing, isn't he?
277
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:45,520
Using Chris as a juicer aside,
it still...
278
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,560
.it is a perfect shape, isn't it?
279
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,160
You can really get
a good squeeze on that.
280
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,680
It's still 2-0 to the hearse.
281
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,000
Right, won the
Last Space Race challenge,
282
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,840
won the loading-up challenge.
283
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,880
I've told you, UFC -
Ultimate Family Car.
284
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:02,120
Well, we'll see just how
ultimate later in the show.
285
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,880
Oh, he's off again.
But, first, a question.
286
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:08,160
Bugatti Veyron,
the gorgeous Alfa 8C,
287
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,160
and a Haas Formula 1 car.
288
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,680
Can anyone tell me which car
company connects all of these?
289
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,080
No, but I think I know a man who is.
290
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,000
I'm going to tell you.
Draw up the comfy chair, Patrick.
291
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,400
I will.
292
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,520
Allow me to introduce Dallara...
293
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,200
..the greatest car company
you've never heard of.
294
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:37,040
For half a century,
in a small corner of Italy,
295
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,320
its engineers have helped
to create some of the world's
296
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,160
greatest automotive hits.
297
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:48,760
But now...
298
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,720
..Dallara has decided
to take centre stage.
299
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,200
This is the Stradale.
300
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,520
That's Italian for road.
301
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,400
Yes, this is a road car.
302
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,720
But, really, you want
to get it on a track.
303
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,960
Wow. Whoo!
304
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,400
What a little thing.
305
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,520
0-60 takes just over three seconds.
306
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,400
Flat out, it will do 174mph.
307
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,440
But, in the Stradale,
it's how eager it is to get there
308
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,520
that really gets your blood pumping.
309
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,600
Put your foot down and it just
picks up straight away.
310
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,920
A little racing car
with a number plate.
311
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,640
God, the brakes are handy, too.
312
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,400
And that's because
the Stradale is light.
313
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,160
Really light.
314
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:27,840
Dallara has built the Stradale
almost entirely of carbon fibre.
315
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:32,200
The skeleton and bodywork are carbon
fibre, most of the interior,
316
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,760
even the cup-holder.
317
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:41,560
All in, this car tips the scales
at a race-car-rivalling 900 kilos,
318
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:45,560
and the motorsport know-how
doesn't end there.
319
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:50,640
You know what separates
proper race cars from just
320
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,400
the regular fast stuff?
321
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,160
It's not power.
322
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,800
It's downforce.
323
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,760
This car is all about the downforce.
324
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:04,680
Flat out, the Stradale makes
a mighty 800 kilos of the stuff.
325
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,200
Those massive scoops
behind the wheels,
326
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,600
that enormous rear wing,
they're manipulating the airflow
327
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:15,280
over the car to literally stick it
to the surface of the track.
328
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,400
And that means it can do this.
329
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,000
That's proper grip!
330
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:34,400
You can literally feel the weight
of the air pushing the car down.
331
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,760
It's like a paper dart.
332
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,080
This thing is so sharp.
333
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:50,280
Dallara says this will produce
lateral forces of 2G.
334
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,680
It's race car G-force.
335
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:57,120
It's the kind of G-force that
makes you feel like your brain's
336
00:18:57,120 --> 00:19:00,040
about to leak out of your ears.
337
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,200
Oh, yes!
338
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:03,280
Woohoo.
339
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:12,000
Impressive stuff, but the Stradale
does have a couple of problems.
340
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,320
Firstly...
341
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:20,280
..they don't seem to have
quite finished the doors.
342
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,400
Give me a second.
343
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,240
Right, if I'm being honest,
344
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,080
it's not the most elegant supercar
345
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:33,440
to look at.
346
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:38,200
And, whilst the interior's very well
made, there's...not much of it.
347
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,360
Put it this way -
if you want sat nav and music,
348
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:44,960
you'd better make sure that your
passenger can read a map and sing.
349
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:52,600
Plus, this Stradale
will set you back £200,000,
350
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,120
which is...a lot.
351
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:58,520
Especially for a car that isn't
fitted with a V12 or a V10
352
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,120
or a V8 or even a V6.
353
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:05,680
No, it's powered by a four-cylinder
engine from a Ford.
354
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:08,440
But...
355
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,080
..in a machine where
every gram counts,
356
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,400
..a four-cylinder Ford engine...
357
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,760
..is exactly what this car needs.
358
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:32,240
That little 2.3 litre turbo-four,
359
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,840
that provides maximum power
360
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,040
for minimum weight.
361
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:43,320
400 horsepower is plenty to get on
with when you've got 900kg.
362
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:51,080
This is the antidote
to all those big, pudgy,
363
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,200
fat, overweight hyper-cars.
364
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,000
Dallara's doing it right.
365
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:02,520
This is a supercar
for the chassis enthusiast.
366
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,440
I know that sounds a bit niche,
a bit like having a thing
367
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:13,160
for elbows, but if you care
more about how a car drives
368
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:17,400
than how it sounds,
if you care more about steering feel
369
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,680
than Instagram likes,
370
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,280
then this could well be
the supercar for you.
371
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,040
Whoo!
372
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:26,160
Look at that!
373
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,560
My name is Chris Harris
and I am a chassis enthusiast.
374
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,200
That is a fantastic little car.
375
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:08,280
Delicate, fast.
376
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,560
Now, I know, Chris, you're a massive
chassis enthusiast
377
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,040
and I'm sure this
car is amazing to drive,
378
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,360
but it's 200 grand.
379
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:17,960
It's got a Ford engine. Yeah.
380
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,880
It's got a name no-one's heard of
and as much power as a hot hatch.
381
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,560
I'm with Fred on this one. If you're
spending 200 grand on a car,
382
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,000
you want people to stop and stare.
383
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,160
You don't want them to stop
and Google what the hell it is.
384
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,880
This is a car for someone that wants
to be connected to the driving
385
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,160
experience, not
a peacock from Cheshire.
386
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,960
It's a great car. It's gorgeous.
387
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,840
But how quick is it
around the track? Very.
388
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,920
The Stig took it out earlier today
and you can see the lap online,
389
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,680
but how fast do you think it is?
390
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,880
How far up this board are we going,
Chris? It's going beyond
391
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,120
I think it's up here.
Well, that's not that far, is it?
392
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:51,240
Right up there. I walked
straight into that, didn't I? 00:22:55,400
I've got the results,
and I can tell you the Dallara
394
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,440
Stradale... Stradale?
395
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:01,640
..Stradale went round our
track in one minute...
396
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,560
Yeah, get it out.
397
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,080
..12... Ooh!
398
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,080
..point eight! Whoa!
399
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,960
The second-fastest round the track.
Wow!
400
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,480
Does that surprise you?
401
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,440
Yeah, I didn't think
it would be that quick. Amazing.
402
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,720
Unbelievable. Well done, little car.
403
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,720
That is very quick, very quick.
404
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:25,080
Right, time to meet our
celebrity guests who tonight
405
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,960
are sporting royalty -
Zara and Mike Tindall.
406
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,920
Here's what happened when they
arrived at our track earlier today.
407
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,120
Look who's here. Look who's here.
408
00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:38,040
Hi, guys. Hello, how are you.
I'm good. What we have here is the width
restrictor challenge, OK, guys?
410
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,360
So, we've got two sturdy width
restrictors here and they're about
411
00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:49,480
seven feet apart, which gives
you about an inch either side
412
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,040
of the wing mirrors to get through.
413
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:54,880
The winner is the one that goes
through there quickest as according
414
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,640
to that speed gun.
415
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,840
You each have to choose
a partner in crime,
416
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,880
or ballast or whichever
way you look at it.
417
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,160
I'm going to choose
the...racing driver.
418
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:05,560
Yes! Him? That's a mistake.
419
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,800
I've chosen to go with who I think
is probably the most reckless.
420
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,640
Bit awkward, Paddy.
Right, OK, let's go.
421
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:13,960
Get a crash helmet.
422
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,000
OK, here's the strategy.
423
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,080
You can't lift. You have to just go
flat out the whole way there.
424
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:22,040
Why are you fixing
the rear view mirror? I don't know. 00:24:23,320
Are you ready, Chris?
426
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,600
Yeah, we're ready.
Just bury your foot.
427
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:28,920
There she goes. Oh, it's a bit slow.
428
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,080
This is a real Jaguar, an XJ V8.
429
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,920
Listen to that V8 purring.
Here they come. They're coming.
430
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,720
Come to me a little bit.
Come to me a little bit.
431
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,680
Right, here we go. Here we go!
432
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,840
And suddenly it's coming
at us quite quickly.
433
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:44,480
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Keep going, keep going!
434
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,960
Oh, no!
And she nearly got the camera!
435
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,320
It's not broken. No.
436
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,880
Wow. Oh, dear. Look at her.
Sm
437
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,880
Whoa! Hey!
438
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,600
Yes! Can we just check
the wing mirror, please?
439
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,800
Oh, it's still on.
440
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,240
There is nothing wrong
with that wing mirror.
441
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:02,960
It still on, it's all right, Chris.
442
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,400
Zara, that was fast. That was fast.
How fast was it?
443
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,760
I stopped looking after 90.
She was buried the whole way.
444
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,800
Didn't lift at all. Really?
Didn't lift. 00:25:12,680
98.
446
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,240
That's fast. That's pretty fast,
that's pretty fast. 00:25:17,640
I tell you something as well,
I think you're in with a chance
448
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,520
because look at the size
of these two. I know.
449
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,320
There's an instant half
a tonne added on to the car.
450
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,760
Right, in you get, boys.
Best of luck to you.
451
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,480
We're going.
452
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,320
What's the tactic, then?
Just don't lift off? Yeah.
453
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,480
I hope he smashes it.
Here they come.
454
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,800
Here we go. Now coming up to 80.
Don't lift off. 90.
455
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,680
Oh, my God. That's fast.
456
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,480
Go, go, go, go, go!
Go on, Mike!
457
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,760
Oh!
458
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,200
LAUGHTER
459
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,000
That is definitely...
460
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,560
That is definitely discounted.
461
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,920
Yes! It's a reasonable shunt, that.
462
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,000
Well, do you want the good
news or the bad news?
463
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,760
There is no bad news, Paddy.
It's all good.
464
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,240
I'll give you the good news first.
It was fast?
465
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,840
107.
466
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,240
Very, very, very fast.
467
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,320
Bad news - doesn't count.
468
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,000
You're disqualified because
you broke the wing mirror.
469
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,200
Anyhow, you've won that. Yes.
470
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,840
It's all about the lap now.
It's all about the lap.
471
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,640
Ladies and gentlemen,
fresh from causing carnage
472
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,880
on the track, Zara and Mike Tindall.
473
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,800
Hello. Was it fun? Was it fun?
474
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:33,920
Sit yourselves down.
475
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,480
Wowzers.
476
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:41,240
Mike, you took a chunk out of the
bollard there, my friend.
477
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,960
Well, we were generally
having a chat about what would
478
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,800
happen if we just smashed
straight through it, me and Fred,
479
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,360
and I think it was still in my head
about whether I could turn
480
00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:50,600
into it just before.
481
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,240
Cos I know you've got
a bit of a history.
482
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,640
I mean, you crashed a car
at the age of five.
483
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,040
You were supposed to crash
them, they were dodgems.
484
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,600
Oh, you were in a dodgem. Is that
when you first broke your nose?
485
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,560
Without your seat belt on. How many
times have you broke your
486
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,840
Eight. Eight times?
487
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,600
I assume they broke it when they
straightened it as well, so nine.
488
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:12,480
It did end up looking like that
bollard that you hit before.
489
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,120
It was very similar.
Pretty much, it was.
490
00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:17,720
The old nose, I could have probably
nestled it in and got a nice
491
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,960
shape to it.
Pulled the shape back out.
492
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,120
Any other sporting injuries
from your career?
493
00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:24,360
I have, yeah, a few.
494
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:29,120
Best sounding one is when I landed
on the back of Lee Byrne's heel
495
00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:32,120
and broke two of my ribs, punctured
my lung and lacerated my liver.
496
00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:34,800
Ooh! You lacerated your liver?
497
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,240
Yeah. I was in intensive care
for five days.
498
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,760
Have you ever picked up any injuries
like that in cricket, Fred?
499
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,560
Like cutting yourself
on a cucumber sandwich or...
500
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,840
I've over-eaten a few times.
501
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:48,480
But, Zara, you drive stuff bigger
now. You've got an HGV licence.
502
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,440
I do. I can drive my truck.
503
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,760
Cos we all drive our horses
around, we drive them
504
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,400
to competitions, so we need a big
vehicle to obviously get them
505
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:01,280
to the competitions
and all their kit and all our kit,
506
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:02,760
so, yeah, I love it.
507
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,720
HE IMPERSONATES HORN
508
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,200
Yeah! I've got one question
about transporting horses. 00:28:09,840
It's a big animal,
they need to hydrate,
510
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,440
but if they have a big wee when
you're on the road,
511
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:16,480
where does the wee go? They stop at
the services. What do you
512
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,120
Are you competitive
in the car, you two? No.
513
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:20,880
Who wants to be driving?
514
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:24,280
If we go out together,
I'll generally drive, won't I?
515
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,080
Oh, here we go!
516
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,560
Yeah. Just cos she likes a drink.
517
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,200
Oh, my God...
518
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,560
Generally, I would drive,
but, yeah, it's not...
519
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,800
Normally because I'm putting
food in the back seat,
520
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:43,600
trying to keep a child quiet.
Babies.
521
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:45,720
Who's got the bragging rights
over the stereo?
522
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,160
What do you listen to?
523
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:50,040
He loves a musical.
Oh, no! Get in!
524
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:53,400
What's your favourite, Mike?
525
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,920
Sit back, lads. We've got this.
What's your favourite?
526
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,040
See, Rock Of Ages, I do enjoy.
527
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,360
Obviously, A Star Is Born
is big at the moment.
528
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,880
I'd love to see you two at
a West End musical, sat there.
529
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,160
# This is the greatest show! #
530
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,280
Anyway, the lap.
531
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,200
Mike, you've won a Rugby World Cup.
532
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,520
Zara, you're an eventing
world champion.
533
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,600
But this is the big one.
This is the Top Gear track.
534
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,560
Well, it's 1-0 so far
cos you obviously won
535
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,400
the width restrictor challenge.
I'm happy I got on the board.
536
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,400
Zara, who do the family want to win?
537
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:27,160
Me. Oh, of course they do.
538
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:28,320
Hello!
539
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,240
And to add a little bit
of spice to the lap,
540
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,200
we decided that you are going to go
in the cars together.
541
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,360
We're going to have a look at Zara's
lap first, but, before we do,
542
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,360
we're just going to have a look at
one of your practice laps.
543
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,880
Would you care to talk us through
what happened here, Zara, please?
544
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,040
No lifting! No lifting!
545
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,000
Oh!
546
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:01,280
That was your no lifting.
547
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,040
Well, that's a performance lap.
548
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,960
I do like the fact that immediately
it was his fault
549
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:15,800
for telling you not to lift.
550
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,200
I love the fact that you were just
having a nice conversation
551
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,720
as the car was spinning.
552
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,320
Yeah, utterly fearless.
553
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,520
Anyway, who would like
to see Zara's timed lap?
554
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:25,960
Yes, come on.
555
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:27,280
Let's have a look.
556
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:30,400
Off the line.
557
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,400
Good, solid start, that, I think.
Good, solid start.
558
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,000
Yes! A little bit slower because
you've got basically
559
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,080
about four bags of
potatoes next to you.
560
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,960
Exactly! Thank you.
561
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,760
Slowing you down.
562
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,520
The line's good and
the car looks quick. Does it?
563
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,600
It does. Yes!
564
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:50,280
Gear change is right.
565
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:54,360
You've run a bit wide there, a bit
too wide. Bring it back in.
566
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,400
Let's go! Change! Come on!
567
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,040
I've seen you drive
faster to Waitrose.
568
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,080
Braking... That's always a good
sign, when you trigger those hazard
569
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,480
warning lights, that means
you're at the maximum braking.
570
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,920
And also seeing the circuit, cos
it's so flat, knowing where
571
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,920
the corners are is quite tricky
as well. You can't see them.
572
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,720
SHE CLICKS HER TONGUE
573
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:18,760
Now the Follow-Through.
574
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,480
This is good.
And it's a damp surface.
575
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,440
This is where I clench my buttocks.
576
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,200
That's a thought!
577
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:30,280
Whoo!
578
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:34,240
Oh, lovely, though. Smooth.
I think this is quick, my love.
579
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,600
Second to last. I don't think you
can go much quicker through there.
580
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,000
That's a fantastic line.
581
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:44,320
Using all the circuit.
Oh, oh, oh...
582
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:45,640
Argh!
583
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,920
This is good, look.
A bit of a bump. Bang.
584
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,760
Yeah, gone.
585
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,120
Gone.
586
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,280
I think you're nervous. I am!
587
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,280
Are you nervous?
588
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,200
I just wanted to make
the Stig proud.
589
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,560
You wanted to make the Stig proud?
You will.
590
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,640
You can see the lap board. Where do
you think you're going to be, Zara?
591
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:09,880
Who are you eyeing up on there?
I hope I've beaten Frankie Dettori.
592
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,800
That would make my day.
For obvious reasons.
593
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,200
Zara, I can tell you,
you went round our track
594
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:18,440
in one minute... It makes me nervous
when you've looked down
595
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,200
I'm looking at it...
You could have gone...
596
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,600
Instead of starting at the top,
he started at the bottom.
597
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,080
I'm good at poker as well.
598
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,320
One minute, 40...
599
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:29,680
..one...
600
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,240
..point six. Good effort.
601
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,880
I think that's OK.
602
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,960
Wow, that's good. Up there.
603
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,120
That's good, Zara. That's good.
604
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,360
On a damp.
605
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:46,760
Well above Dettori.
606
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,240
On a damp.
607
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,320
You were on a damp.
That's a great time.
608
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:51,560
Dettori who?
609
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,480
Shall we have a look at Mike's lap?
Yes, come on. Let's have a look.
610
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,680
Good luck. Thanks.
611
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,720
Right, off the line.
Come on, come on, come on!
612
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,160
Well, it's your own weight
slowing you down this time,
613
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,360
so we can't really blame
anyone for that, can we?
614
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,240
You've run wide there, bit too wide.
Windscreen wipers were put on
615
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,240
for effect - it wasn't really
raining, was it?
616
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,440
That's a good line.
Direction change into Chicago.
617
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,240
Oh, I'm in fourth, BLEEP!
618
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:24,520
He's triggered those lights again.
That's good.
619
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:28,040
I feel like you're harder
on the brakes than I was.
620
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,240
I love the way you've put
the windscreen wipers on
621
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,720
to make us think that you think
it's wet, but it's not.
622
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,480
It was raining! It was bone dry.
623
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,920
That's sunshine.
There's sunshine on the car.
624
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,520
I've got this, baby.
I've got this.
625
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,400
Oh, a bit of oversteer, showboating.
626
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:48,400
You lifted off. Lifted off!
627
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,120
I didn't lift off. You did.
628
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:51,960
I wanted to get a lap in.
629
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:53,240
Ah!
630
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,560
He likes to get the backend
moving around, doesn't he?
631
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:00,400
That's really good through there,
that's a very fast line.
632
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,920
Through Gambon.
633
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:04,920
Yeah, that looked quick.
634
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,840
Got there in the end.
635
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,360
But I wouldn't want to call it.
636
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,640
What are you thinking, Mike?
Do you think you've beat her?
637
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:19,160
That's too close to call,
too close to call. Do you think?
638
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:20,560
Yes. If you're saying that...
639
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,640
If I'm somewhere around
there, I'd be happy.
640
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,800
Zara is 1-0 up already.
641
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,400
They are both damp laps.
She's hammered me.
642
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:28,760
Damp? It was sunny.
643
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,000
He's got a D as well,
but, Mike Tindall,
644
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:35,080
I can tell you, you went
round the track in one minute...
645
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:37,360
..40...
646
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:40,080
..point five.
647
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,920
Oh, well done. Well done.
648
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,040
Oh!
649
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:48,520
Just above Jason Manford.
650
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,440
That's a good lap. Very good lap.
651
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:54,200
And that's damp as well.
652
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,600
So, let's just say,
if you're weather-adjusted,
653
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,360
you're getting up towards the Ross
Nobles of this world, I think.
654
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,600
I'm happy to give you that one.
Thanks.
655
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,760
Ladies and gentlemen,
Zara and Mike Tindall.
656
00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:16,000
Now, Paddy, earlier on,
you were trying to convince us
657
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,080
that 1,300 quid gets you
a Daimler hearse
658
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,040
as the ultimate family car. Correct.
I'm going to tell you,
659
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,320
I think you might be
on to something. Thank you.
660
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:28,520
But Fred and I reckoned
it could be even more ultimate.
661
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,840
So, we took the hearse off to make
a few, minor upgrades and,
662
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:35,520
a few days later,
met up with Paddy in Tenby.
663
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:36,760
Go on, Tenby.
664
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:47,720
I cannot wait to show Paddy
what we've done to this car.
665
00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:49,600
HORN TOOTS
666
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:52,640
PADDY CHUCKLES
667
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,360
Oh!
668
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,560
The boys, look what they've done!
669
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,200
HORN BEEPS
670
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,320
Let's show him...
671
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:02,920
I can't wait. ..this genius.
672
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:04,280
I knew it had potential,
673
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:06,800
but I didn't know
it had this much potential.
674
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,480
First of all, pop that bonnet.
675
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:14,480
OK, that is a 350 horsepower
Lexus V8
676
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,640
straight out of an LS400.
677
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,720
ENGINE REVS
678
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:24,120
This is now the best sounding
car in the car park.
679
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,800
Paddy, just feast your eyes
down here. Look at this.
680
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,680
A splitter. It's just a little
thing, it makes such a difference.
681
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,440
Little things count, don't they?
682
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,320
And the colour -
Volvo Polestar blue.
683
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:38,360
The great combination - Volvo,
safety, family safety,
684
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:39,640
Polestar, racing.
685
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,200
In a colour, blue.
686
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,920
I've got to tell you, lads,
I like it.
687
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:49,560
And so he should
because this was no longer a hearse.
688
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:52,320
This was the Overtaker.
689
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:56,480
And, to make it, we also blagged
all-terrain tyres,
690
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,880
a massive rear spoiler,
691
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,000
quad exhausts,
692
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,880
a ball pool for when
the kids are good
693
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,520
and, for when they're not,
694
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:07,080
a naughty step.
695
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,960
1,300 quid!
696
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,160
Look at all that for 1,300 quid.
697
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,720
Do you think we've taken your idea -
698
00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:18,960
which we now agree was quite
clever - and we've run with it?
699
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:20,640
Absolutely.
700
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,320
Hello. You all right?
701
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:26,120
"Your ultimate family car will now
face the ultimate test -
702
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,760
"a family holiday in Wales."
Oh! Love it.
703
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,720
"Along the way, you will tackle
the best in the family car business.
704
00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:37,320
"First, head down to the beach
for some bucket and spading."
705
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:39,720
Fingers crossed we do a bit
of crabbing as well.
706
00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:41,560
Right, get in, lads.
707
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:43,800
I've got to say, I love
that starter button, boys.
708
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:46,720
Do you want to press it? May I?
Yeah, of course.
709
00:37:46,720 --> 00:37:48,000
Go on.
710
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,720
You're good to go. Go on.
711
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,120
So began the Overtaker's
maiden voyage
712
00:37:55,120 --> 00:38:00,000
and what might just be the first
family holiday ever where everyone
713
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,600
was actually looking forward
to the drive.
714
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,640
The Etch A Sketch!
715
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,560
Oh, yes, nature's iPad.
716
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,520
Yep, we'd even packed stuff
to keep the kids quiet
717
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,080
while the grown-ups talk.
718
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,880
I tell you what, I can just feel it
rumbling underneath my right foot.
719
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:26,560
I think most of the residents
of Tenby can as well!
720
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:28,760
Like an AMG.
721
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:34,160
But, in an AMG,
you don't get one of these.
722
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:40,400
Oh, boys!
723
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,080
It's like the school tuck shop.
724
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:48,040
Liquorice Allsorts,
Haribos, Sports Mixture...
725
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:49,480
Double Deckers.
726
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:57,320
The one thing I'm glad you've not
put in there is a Turkish Delight.
727
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,720
The devil's work.
728
00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:02,560
That is basically
a chocolate-covered toilet block.
729
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:06,160
It is horrendous.
730
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,600
Now, this is very important.
731
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:13,600
I'm going to show you
our onboard Hoover.
732
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,160
Oh, thank God that's what that is!
733
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,560
When you pulled that out
from in between your legs,
734
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:19,520
I thought, "What is he
using that for?"
735
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:28,480
Soon, in some typically British
weather, we arrived at our first
736
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,640
family holiday stop-off - the beach.
737
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,200
Here we go, boys. This is the life.
738
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,240
Our first family holiday in Wales.
739
00:39:39,240 --> 00:39:40,600
Look at it!
740
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,040
And lying in wait...
741
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,360
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
742
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:46,880
..was our first rival.
743
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,520
What the hell's that?
744
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:52,320
That is an AMG E63 S Estate.
745
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:56,560
Oh!
746
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,680
We can't see. Fred, follow him.
747
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:03,480
That cheeky... That was cheeky!
748
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:08,440
Our first challenge
would be a fastest-lap battle
749
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:13,360
against the Merc on a specially
designed course right on the sand.
750
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,720
Because, in the world
of family cars,
751
00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:19,280
the E63 is the daddy of them all.
752
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,360
And, if that wasn't enough,
this one was manned
753
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,880
by a family
of rival holiday-makers.
754
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,640
OK, Stig, are you ready?
755
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:39,640
Take that as a yeah?
756
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,280
Think it's a yeah.
757
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:43,080
Three, two, one, go!
758
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,120
0-60 in 3.5 seconds.
759
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,400
He is using...
Look, he's going sideways.
760
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:55,680
You know what?
Over 100 grand, that car.
761
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,360
For an estate car.
Not sure I'm having that.
762
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:00,840
I'm not sure I'm having that.
763
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,640
That thing's got twice
the power this thing's got.
764
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,440
Look at him, he's coming in now.
765
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:17,480
1:09.28.
766
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,280
Where's he going?
767
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:21,320
What's he doing? He's gone.
768
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:28,840
Harris, 1:09.
That's the time you've got to beat.
769
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,160
Do not let us down.
770
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,320
He's got no chance. I know.
771
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,560
Three, two, one, go.
772
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,440
She's a bit sluggish off the line.
773
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,160
Slow and steady wins the race.
774
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,320
It's a thing of beauty. Look.
Where's he going?
775
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:49,520
He's getting it sideways
round that first one.
776
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:53,080
Yes, come on! The Overtaker!
777
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,880
I tell you what, to be fair,
he's done all right there.
778
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,400
There she goes.
779
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,760
Go on, Harris! Go on, Harris!
780
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:02,960
Go on, sunshine!
781
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,560
Now, this is where
it gets tricky now,
782
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,720
as he comes into the canoes.
Watch this.
783
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,520
Come on!
784
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,160
You can feel the victory.
785
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:17,320
Go on!
786
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,240
And over the line.
787
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:25,920
Lost a few balls.
788
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,200
That felt fast.
789
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:31,920
It wasn't bad, Harris.
790
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:34,520
1:14.69.
791
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,440
I think that's a great effort.
792
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:39,040
We got very close.
793
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:42,120
You were five seconds slower,
but if we equate that to pounds
794
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:45,640
and pence, the Overtaker's
cost us 1,300 quid.
795
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:49,880
That E63 is over £100,000,
796
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:53,200
so I'm putting this down
as a moral victory for us.
797
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,800
So, that's 1-0 to the Overtaker,
798
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,800
which meant we could get back
to enjoying our holiday.
799
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:09,040
You can buy 80 of these
for the price of the E63.
800
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:10,400
80? 80.
801
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,800
What do you reckon
you could get for it?
802
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,400
I reckon you could get four grand.
803
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:16,800
Four grand?
804
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,800
I'm really into what
we've achieved here, lads,
805
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:22,120
but if you think
you could get £4,000 for this car,
806
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,240
you've been smoking something.
807
00:43:24,240 --> 00:43:26,560
Three and a half, then. Easy.
808
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,440
Although what we wouldn't be telling
any prospective buyers
809
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:36,120
is the new 4-litre V8 does make
the thing a bit thirstier.
810
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:44,120
Now, don't tell me you don't love
a bit of filler bingo.
811
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:48,360
Full gas on the pump, furthest away
from the next £10 loses.
812
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,480
So, you've just got one lift, that's
it. One lift. Yeah, on
813
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:54,240
0-10, 10-20, 20-30.
814
00:43:54,240 --> 00:43:56,160
The loser consumes...
815
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,640
Oh, God, no. You're sick.
816
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,320
I'm going to leave
that there as a warning. Ugh!
817
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,640
There's something wrong
with you, Harris.
818
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,200
Not the Turkish Delight!
819
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,680
Three, two, one, go.
820
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,240
Go on, Harris.
It's a fast one, this, Paddy.
821
00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:12,640
This is fast. Isn't it fast?
822
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,320
Seven, eight...
823
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,520
Nine, ten!
824
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,840
11, 12, 13, 14...
Oh, he's miles away!
825
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,320
It's away. He's nowhere near.
Miles away, Paddy!
826
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:21,760
9.78.
827
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,360
Right, I'm on.
828
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,680
Here we go. 16...
829
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,920
I beg to differ on the stupidity.
18, 19...
830
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:30,200
Nowhere near!
831
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:34,800
76! I'm going to win! No, no!
832
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,400
He's having the Turkish!
833
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:39,040
I bottled it.
He's having the Turkish!
834
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:40,680
How can you get 70s?
835
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:42,640
2p behind.
836
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,720
That's got in my head.
I've never felt pressure like this.
837
00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:50,160
You need to get within
22p of the next £10. Go!
838
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:51,960
No feathering, Paddy.
839
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:55,760
21, 22, 24, 25.
840
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,160
Stop!
841
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,640
49! You put me off!
842
00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:07,040
You shouted stop and he went...
He stopped! He stopped!
843
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:09,000
49.
844
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,480
Oh...
845
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:13,320
Come on, let's see it.
846
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,880
Oh, the old chocolate-covered
toilet block.
847
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,360
Oh, I can smell it from here.
848
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:23,120
LAUGHTER
849
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:27,800
This is not what I signed up for.
850
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,640
I don't feel good, boys.
851
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,520
I don't feel good.
852
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:34,680
I do.
853
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:40,960
Back on the road, we'd been told
to head inland for our next test.
854
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,240
I've got the chess board, boys.
855
00:45:45,240 --> 00:45:46,840
That is brilliant.
856
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:53,000
But, because Flintoff
is basically a giant toddler,
857
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,000
almost immediately, he needed a wee.
858
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:01,640
And that meant Harris'
next test was, well,
859
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:03,080
nothing to do with the car.
860
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:06,120
Yeah, it all came out all right.
861
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,640
Beautiful, beautiful.
Oh, God. Beautiful.
862
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:12,520
Do you mind if I just wipe my hands?
863
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:14,160
No! No!
864
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:16,840
Covered in piss!
865
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:22,560
Oh, no, he's not happy. He's gone.
866
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,320
He's not happy.
867
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:27,600
Get in the driving seat, Pad.
868
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:36,080
Once Harris had towelled off,
we got back on our way.
869
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,880
I mean... We're going to be quiet
for a few minutes.
870
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:43,240
I don't want to hear a word
out of either of you.
871
00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:45,320
I'll go on the Etch A Sketch.
872
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:49,680
PADDY WHISTLES
873
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:57,200
Soon, we were closing in on our
next family car showdown.
874
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:00,360
And, worryingly,
this one looked hilly.
875
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:09,920
Oh, hello.
876
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:17,440
Hey, I've got one of them.
I've got a Discovery. You've wh
877
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,440
I've got a Discovery.
Are you blind?
878
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:22,760
What's wrong with a Discovery?
879
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,040
It's a terrible looking car.
880
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:26,680
It's the worst piece of car design
of the last five years.
881
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,760
It's the best off-road
family car there is.
882
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:32,080
How often do you go off-road in it?
I'm not disputing that,
883
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,800
I'm saying how can you say that's
ugly? It's a fantastic looking car.
884
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,440
That's a great looking car? It's
really not. 00:47:40,000
Look at the back end. You've been
spoiled, Harris. 00:47:43,040
Paddy. He is right, he's right.
Who's this? Hello.
887
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,760
What...? What?
Are you sure you don't need that?
888
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:49,280
Dogger.
889
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:51,800
Wind the window up quick.
890
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,760
"No family holiday would be
complete without a night
891
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,320
"in the great outdoors.
892
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,560
"You will now race to your
campsite atop that hill."
893
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:06,560
Oh, yes, our rival holiday-makers
were back for an off-road showdown.
894
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,320
Our campsite was on the other side
of the valley,
895
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:13,440
across four, gruelling miles of
challenging terrain.
896
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:17,320
Up against the world's most capable
family off-roader and armed
897
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:21,160
with nothing more than a big
compass, the Overtaker
898
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:23,120
had its work cut out.
899
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,480
And, to make matters worse,
900
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:27,760
Flintoff was at the wheel.
901
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:33,000
Three, two, one...
902
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:34,840
Go, go, go! Straight on?
903
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:37,120
No, to the right. To the right!
904
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:38,560
This is not an off-road vehicle.
905
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:39,960
Go, go! Come on!
906
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:45,200
Typically, Stig was
taking the direct route.
907
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:48,560
And we had no hope of
following in the Overtaker.
908
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:52,160
Go easy. Go easy with the car.
It's a prototype!
909
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:54,880
Oh!
910
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,320
So, while the Discovery
was being fired straight
911
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:02,920
at the countryside...
912
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:08,600
..we would need to stick
to the tracks....
913
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,440
If you see a right, take it.
914
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:12,000
..keep up the pace...
915
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,360
Jesus BLEEP BLEEP!
916
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:16,680
..and stay out of trouble.
917
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:19,240
Stay off the edges.
Trust me and trust the car.
918
00:49:19,240 --> 00:49:21,600
Normally, I'd say use your common
sense,
919
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,800
but you quite clearly
don't have any.
920
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:29,960
A couple of miles in,
921
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,600
the Stig's route was
getting stickier.
922
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,400
And the Discovery was slowing down.
923
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:45,120
To the right! To the right!
924
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:48,960
With Freddie still pushing hard,
this race was on.
925
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:52,280
We'll catch him, we'll catch him.
926
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,160
Don't get carried away
with your speed.
927
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:59,560
All right, Chris, I've got this. Up
to the right, here. To t
928
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:07,680
Paddy, are you all right?
929
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:10,240
Paddy, you all right?
930
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,360
Luckily, Paddy was all right.
931
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:18,080
But, more importantly,
the same couldn't be said
932
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:19,800
for the Overtaker.
933
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,400
I'm not a mechanic,
but in technical terms...
934
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:25,440
..that's BLEEP.
935
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:29,920
At the hands of two stupid,
incompetent, cack-handed idiots,
936
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:33,160
our ultimate family car
dream was dead.
937
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:34,360
1,300 quid...
938
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:36,880
..down the pan.
939
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,120
Or perhaps not.
940
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:45,960
Because, with the family
car score now 1-1,
941
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,640
there was still one test left.
942
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:52,200
And, overnight, those two stupid,
incompetent,
943
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,680
cack-handed idiots had been busy.
944
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:59,280
Look, we promised him we'd fix it.
We have.
945
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:02,520
And now he gets to drive it.
We can't do more than that, can we?
946
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,640
It's not how he imagined
it, though, is it? Look at it.
947
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,800
The rule is - you bend it,
you mend it. Ooh...
948
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:15,600
You all right, Pad?
949
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,160
It's not the prettiest, is it?
950
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:21,240
It's a miracle it's still working.
951
00:51:21,240 --> 00:51:23,000
What exactly have you done to it?
952
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,320
Well, we've taken
all the windows out.
953
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:27,640
Yeah, I've seen that.
This still works, look.
954
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:32,680
That will come in handy.
955
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:36,400
Too soon. Too soon.
956
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:40,920
We've got it going - that's pretty
much it, Paddy, to be honest.
957
00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:44,120
Well, go on, then, jump out.
958
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:48,600
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's happened to the doors?
959
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:51,880
This is the Dukes Of Hazzard model.
I'm Bo, he's Luke.
960
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:53,520
No, you come out the side, Freddie.
961
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:57,640
What family car do you have to get
in and out of the windscreen?
962
00:51:57,640 --> 00:51:59,080
Don't walk on it, Fred!
963
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:03,680
I mean, there's a little part of me
is impressed that you've managed
964
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:06,520
to get the roof back on.
How little is that part?
965
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:08,840
Very little. You all right?
966
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,000
Hello.
967
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:13,400
"The most important aspect
of any family car is safety."
968
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:15,920
Are you listening?
969
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:20,040
"To test how safe your ultimate
family car really is,
970
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:23,840
"you will now compete
n Britain's crashiest motorsport -
971
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:25,000
"banger racing."
972
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:28,400
Hold that.
973
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:31,280
You're not driving this
and you're not driving this.
974
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:32,960
Leave it to me.
975
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:34,680
Out the way.
976
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:36,360
How do I get in again?
977
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:40,360
Can I help you?
Not sure how that's helping.
978
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:43,480
Go on, go on. Get your head in.
979
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:45,800
You've basically put me
in the position I were in
980
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:48,720
the last time I were in the car!
Jesus Christ!
981
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:54,560
So, with the Overtaker
somehow back from the dead,
982
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:57,320
it was now heading straight in
to the most unforgiving test
983
00:52:57,320 --> 00:52:58,560
of them all.
984
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,840
And to help keep it out of the grave
it had just been dug up from,
985
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:06,280
I'd been given two stupid,
incompetent, cack-handed
986
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,120
idiots as outriders.
987
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:11,600
Harris, where do you want me?
988
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:14,480
I think I want you left rear gunner.
I'll go right.
989
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:15,920
Check.
990
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,520
But there was one
more added challenge -
991
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,720
heading up the competition
was the safest family car
992
00:53:21,720 --> 00:53:25,280
of them all - an old Volvo estate.
993
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,360
And at the wheel of
this Swedish tank...
994
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:34,000
Hello, my patty-pattycake.
995
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:37,040
Oh, God, it's the German.
I thought they got rid of her.
996
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,640
Hi, Sabine. Good to see you.
997
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:44,680
I came all the way from
Germany to meet you.
998
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:45,840
Bang!
999
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:52,080
The rules of the derby were simple -
the winner would be the last man -
1000
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:54,280
or woman - left standing.
1001
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:58,200
And Harris and I would do whatever
was necessary to keep the Overtaker
1002
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:02,560
on track, proving it truly belonged
among the family car elite.
1003
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,840
They cannot scratch the Overtaker!
1004
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:22,120
I'd take a bullet for you, Paddy.
We've got you, son.
1005
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:26,760
Do not let them through.
1006
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,920
No-one's coming through here.
You couldn't be in safer hands.
1007
00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:35,360
I feel like Kevin Costner
in The Bodyguard.
1008
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:38,600
Keep it up! You're my wicket, Paddy.
1009
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:43,280
A few laps in, and the outriders
were holding firm.
1010
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:46,240
Paddy, I'm on your BLEEP.
1011
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:50,680
But, as the heat of battle
intensified,
1012
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:52,960
our defences began to weaken.
1013
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:57,280
Oh, it's getting messy.
1014
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:02,480
Watch him, Harris!
Take him out, sunshine!
1015
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,920
I'm getting a right battering.
1016
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,160
Where's my outriders?
1017
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:15,120
Paddy! I'm coming for you!
1018
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,120
Agh!
1019
00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:19,640
That must have been Sabine.
1020
00:55:25,720 --> 00:55:28,000
Freddie, face the right way,
for God's sake!
1021
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,080
The carnage continued.
1022
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:35,280
And, then, disaster struck.
1023
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,560
ENGINE SPLUTTERS
1024
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:45,560
I think she's dead.
1025
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:48,200
Harris, get back and help. Harris!
1026
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,240
Knackered.
1027
00:55:52,240 --> 00:55:53,360
Harris is out.
1028
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:58,040
Down to just one defender
and with him facing his own fight
1029
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:01,000
for survival,
things were looking bleak.
1030
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:04,000
Whoa, whoa,
Sabine's having a go at me.
1031
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,040
SABINE LAUGHS
1032
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:12,200
Oh, it's slippy. It is slippy.
1033
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:14,360
Watch the paintwork, son!
1034
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:17,360
And before long...
1035
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:19,920
I've just skidded...
1036
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:22,680
Blooming heck, I'm using the wall.
1037
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:26,080
Where's Flintoff?
1038
00:56:27,240 --> 00:56:28,680
Come on, baby.
1039
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:31,200
Oh, no!
1040
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:33,280
Oh, who was that?
1041
00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:36,880
It was Paddy.
Can you not see I'm stopped?
1042
00:56:40,240 --> 00:56:44,560
Flintoff was out of the running
with only himself to blame,
1043
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:47,160
and the Overtaker and I
were now on our own.
1044
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:51,440
I can sense impending doom.
1045
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:54,840
Paddy!
1046
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:56,280
Sweetheart!
1047
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:58,360
I'm coming for you.
1048
00:56:58,360 --> 00:56:59,760
I'm on me own!
1049
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:01,120
And we're surviving.
1050
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:03,720
Whoo!
1051
00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:07,040
Bye-bye!
1052
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:08,320
SABINE LAUGHS
1053
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:13,200
Yes, it's heating up.
1054
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:16,880
Yes, she's been bashed about,
but she's still got a beauty to her.
1055
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:22,480
This remarkable machine
had done us proud.
1056
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:25,960
She'd given everything,
but, in the end,
1057
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:28,640
the fight was to prove too much.
1058
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:31,520
Yes!
1059
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:34,600
Eat my dust!
1060
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:36,200
It doesn't feel good.
1061
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:38,520
Oh, God! Oh, no!
1062
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:40,160
Oh!
1063
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:45,720
Bye, Paddy.
1064
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:50,520
Oh, Overtaker...
1065
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:53,560
..we've had a good innings.
1066
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:57,840
You were the ultimate
family car to me.
1067
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:03,240
Oh, my God.
1068
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,040
Number one!
1069
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:16,360
Love that car.
1070
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:21,720
Now, joking aside just for a second,
there was a moment then
1071
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:23,480
when I flipped the car... Yes.
1072
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:25,240
I was so concerned.
I was shouting to Paddy.
1073
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,800
I couldn't hear anything in the
back. I thought I'd killed him.
1074
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:32,360
So, I think, Chris, you should
apologise for being so reckless.
1075
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,080
Thank you. What?
I was coaching you.
1076
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:37,080
You was egging me on. You were
saying, "Go faster, go faster!"
1077
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:39,640
You're capable of independent
thought, mate. No, I'm not.
1078
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:42,120
Run at that camera. Run into it.
This one? No, don't.
1079
00:58:42,120 --> 00:58:44,120
You are a moron, aren't you?
1080
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:47,680
Look, despite you two clowns' best
efforts to wreck this car,
1081
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,760
you've got to admit, it came
through with flying colours.
1082
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:53,200
It's the ultimate family car.
Come on, boys.
1083
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:54,880
I think you've got to let it go.
1084
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:57,560
I think it's time to bury
the hearse. Oh, no.
1085
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:00,480
Mate, it's as dead as the people
who go in the back.
1086
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:03,080
No, no, no, it's not!
No, it's not! Hey, hey.
1087
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:05,000
Hang on, hang on. What's he doing?
1088
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,040
Let's see if she'll start.
1089
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:10,840
Here we go.
Oh, it's still damp in here.
1090
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,040
Oh, God!
1091
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:16,520
ENGINE STARTS
1092
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:20,480
She's alive! She's alive!
1093
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:23,320
That's all for tonight.
Thank you so much for watching.
1094
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:26,240
See you next week.
I can't believe it! Ta-ra!
1095
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:39,920
ANGELIC MUSIC
133715
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