Original subtitles

Mmm.

Nah.

Good chow.

Mmm.

Well...

I'm gonna take a walk to the lake.

If I'm not back in ten minutes, you come looking for me.

Is someone there?

Frank?

Frank!

Frank? Frank?

Frank...

♪ Oh, roll your leg over

♪ Oh, roll your leg over

♪ Oh, roll your leg over the man in the moon

♪ Oh, I wish all the women were like statues of Venus

♪ And I was a sculptor with a cast-iron penis

♪ Oh, roll your leg over

♪ Oh, roll your leg over

♪ Oh, roll your leg over the man in the moon

♪ I wish all the women were like fish in a pool

♪ And I was a shark with a waterproof tool

♪ Oh, roll your leg over

♪ Oh, roll your leg over

♪ Oh, roll your leg over the man in the moon ♪

- The great outdoors! - Where's the bathroom?

Uh... There's one right there.

- Oh, I'll see you in a bit. - All right.

Oh, isn't it beautiful?

- Where's Gail? - What do you think, baby?

OK, you girls wait here, we'll go get the Wilderness permits.

And then it's hit-the-trail time.

Aye-aye, boss.

Ain't he cute?

- How was it? - Oh, OK.

Wow, what a hunk!

Let me handle this.

- Morning, ladies. - Morning, Officer.

Officer? Do I look like a cop?

No, I just like your uniform.

I'm with the Park Service. My name's Mark O'Brien.

Hi. I'm Gail.

- Hi. - Hi.

Oh, this is Bobbie.

Hello.

- Hi, Bobbie. - And Nancy.

- Hi. - Hello.

Well...

You girls going camping by yourselves?

No. Our boyfriends are inside, getting our permits.

- Where are you off to? - Northpoint.

Northpoint?

Not too many people go up there.

If you wanna be alone, that's a great spot.

Well, enjoy yourselves.

Watch out for the bears.

Bears?

It's warm by the fire. I'd rather do the cooking actually.

You and Skip, that's all you ever think about.

Oh, fat chance of him cooking. It will be me. It's always me.

Man, am I ready for tonight.

First you play it real cool.

Snuggle up in the old sleeping bag.

And then... slip it right to her.

It's gonna be so romantic.

Looking good.

OK?

My feet hurt. I think I'm getting a blister on my blister.

I told you to break in your boots before the trip.

"I told you to break your boots in before the trip."

A lot of good that does me now, you asshole.

OK, let's hit it. Rest time's over.

I want to make camp before dark.

Thanks.

Just look at me.

Come on, Gail, let's go. We're not going to the prom.

In a minute. I'll catch up. Go ahead.

Hey, wait! Wait for me!

Hey, look at this. Somebody lost their pipe.

You bastards!

Why didn't somebody wait for me?

I could have been raped or killed out there.

By what, Gailie? A horny chipmunk?

There's nothing out there that could hurt you.

It's Greg here you gotta watch out for.

I hear it comes down to his knees.

Ha, ha! A lot you know.

There was something out there and it followed me here.

- Hi, Gail. Did you get lost? - Screw you.

There was something out there. There really was.

Sure, Gail. Sure.

That looks good.

You're kidding?

Yeah, really, it was amazing.

I told you that story, didn't I?

Joel may know how to catch 'em but I know how to cook 'em.

Come on.

You guys are gonna love it. There we go.

Hey, yo! Yo!

Thanks, Joel.

- Thanks. - Oh, come on!

- There you go, pal. - Thank you.

- I need another one. - Can you pass me an apple?

Thank you, Joel. It looks good.

And I pushed on the door. Can you believe that?

They saw me through those little cameras.

And there was so much pressure, I couldn't get out.

So what I did was I rolled the window down on the passenger side.

There was such a flood that you had to...?

What happened was the sewers backed up

and it just caught me.

And I tried opening the door and all the pressure, I couldn't get out.

See that one? That's Orion.

- Where did you learn all that? - I used to own a convertible.

OK, smartass.

What's that one?

- Which one? - There, below the Big Dipper.

So the car broke down in front of the house

and it was when we had the floods.

And all of a sudden I saw all the water coming over the top of the car.

And I couldn't get out and I kept pushing and pushing the door.

Can you believe that? They saw me through those little cameras.

And there was so much pressure I couldn't get out.

So what I did was I rolled the window down...

- Isn't that amazing? - That is amazing.

But I don't, you know...

Now, if you don't know what that constellation is, just say so.

It's OK.

Excuse me. What you were looking at are the Pleiades.

According to Greek mythology, they were the seven daughters of Atlas

and they're being continually chased by Orion, the giant hunter.

That doo-da is his belt and the whatchamacallit is his dagger.

He's a winter constellation, you know.

And next to him is Perseus holding the head of Medusa

and next to him is Andromeda.

Now, the two of them were lovers and when they died,

the gods placed them in the heavens, side by side.

OK, guys, are you ready?

I wanna tell you a curious story.

It happened about 40 years ago in England.

An old soldier visited a friend of his that he hadn't seen in about 20 years.

He had been in the Far East and Jerusalem.

And he came back with many, many souvenirs, you know.

One of his souvenirs happened to be a very old, mummified monkey's paw.

Now, there was something very curious about this monkey's paw.

It allowed three people to have three different wishes.

Now...

So, the soldier gave him the paw

and the old man didn't know what to wish for.

So his son and his wife suggested he wish for 50,000 dollars.

So he took the monkey's paw in his hand...

And then he screamed.

He said, "It moved. The paw moved."

Now, they didn't really believe him

but somehow...

a weirdness came over them.

One night the woman was pulling on his sleeve. It was late at night.

She woke him up.

And she said, "I want my son."

He said, "What do you mean?" "I want my son.

"Get me my son. Get the paw!"

So he got the paw.

And he... wished.

He took the paw in his hand.

And he said, "I wish for my son to be alive."

Two hours later there was a knock on the door.

It got louder and louder and louder and louder.

The wife ran downstairs

and the old man went to the window and he saw this decrepit-looking thing.

Banging against the door was his son.

The old woman ran to the door.

As she opened it he got the monkey's paw

and he had his last and final wish.

Well? What was it?

Oh, uh...

he wished for a good night's sleep.

Oh, boo!

Boo! That's bad.

I liked it, man.

- I'll give it a nine with a bullet. - Jeez.

Oh, God. Well, I gotta take a pee.

- Who wants to take a little walk here? - No, thank you.

Aah. The pause that refreshes.

Hey, watch my leg, you jerk!

Come on, Gail, turn it off.

Let's listen to the woods.

Jesus, I really did scare her.

Poor Greg.

Poor Greg?

What do you mean, poor?

His dad is worth 50 million dollars

and one day that's gonna be all poor Greg's.

You know that's not what I mean.

Why does he let Gail walk all over him?

Have you ever taken a good look at her?

No, but I bet you have.

Well, I'm only human.

Says who?

- Sorry you didn't wait for me? - Yeah. Now, come on.

- Say you're sorry. - I'm sorry.

- Do you love me? - Yes.

- Tell me. - Tell you what?

- Tell me that you love me. - I love you, goddammit. I love you.

No, you don't. You'd say anything right now.

I won't. I mean, I do. I love you.

- You do? Really? - Honest, on my honor.

- Cross your heart? - Cross my heart.

- And hope to die? - All right. And hope to die.

Oh, Greg.

Come on, Bobbie. Everybody else is doing it.

Stop it, you octopus.

I'm still pissed off at you. You scared me half to death.

It was a joke. Where's your sense of humor?

Some joke. Very funny. Ha, ha. Well, here's my little joke.

I'm not putting out.

Bobbie! How could you do this to me?

Easy. Just watch.

OK, Bobbie. This is your last chance.

Oh, Greg.

Greg. Wait, stop.

- Now what? - There's something out there.

- Somebody's watching us. - Not that again.

No, really. Look over there.

- I don't see anything. Come on. - It's out there. I swear I saw it.

What was that?

An animal. Stop being so jumpy.

That was no animal. There's something out there.

I bet it's Skip playing one of his dumbass jokes again.

What a jerk!

Oh, you're not going out there?

Well, why not?

Because maybe it's not Skip.

Skip?

Goddammit, is that you?

Greg?

Come on back.

I'm getting scared.

Greg?

Shit. The lantern.

Dammit.

Matches.

Gotta find the stinking matches.

Stop me if you've heard this one. It's the story of the wide-mouthed frog.

Once upon a time there was a wide-mouthed frog

and she had some babies.

And she wanted to find out what to feed those babies.

So she decided to hop out into the forest

and ask the other animals what they feed their babies.

So she went hopping down the path and she came to a rabbit.

She said, "Hi, I'm the wide-mouthed frog. I just had some babies

"and I was wondering what you feed your babies."

And the rabbit said, "Well, I feed my babies carrots

"and lettuce and cabbage and parsley."

"Oh, thank you very much."

She came by a lake and she saw a big alligator on the edge of the lake

and she hopped up to it and said,

"Hi, I'm the wide-mouthed frog and I just had some babies

"and I was wondering what you feed your babies."

And the alligator said,

"Well, I feed my babies wide-mouthed frogs."

"Oh, you don't see many of those around here, do you?"

That good, huh? It was funny when I heard it.

If you're gonna be that way, I'm gonna go to work.

OK?

Now, you stay out of the flowerbed.

- Good morning. - Hiya.

Hey, Joel.

Did Greg and Gail say anything to you about taking off early?

No.

Well, they're gone. Their gear, everything.

- Not a trace. - Are you sure?

Look for yourself. They're not here.

Forest Service, Keen Wild. Ranger Tile speaking.

'Good morning, Ranger Tile.

'This is Sergeant Parsons with the Dover Police Department.'

I have a missing person's report I'd like to talk over with you.

We have a Frank and Mary Sylvester.

Middle-aged couple, married.

They both teach at our high school here.

Now, three weeks ago they went on a camping trip in the Northpoint area.

'Nobody's heard from them since.'

- Yeah? - 'Believe me,

'these are not the type of people to pull a disappearing act.

'School opened here yesterday and for the first time in 20 years

'they both missed the opening day of school.

'So we think something could have happened to them.'

I'll send a ranger out this morning.

We should hear something in a day or two.

'I'd appreciate any help you can give us at the Dover Police Department.'

- Shall do. - 'Thank you.'

Gail?

Greg and Gail?

Greg?

Gail?

Holy, holy. Home free all!

Hey, Greg?

- Gail? - Gail!

Greg and Gail?

Gail?

Greg?

Holy, holy. Home free all.

Hey, Greg?

- Gail? - Greg!

- Gail! - Hey, Greg! Gail?

Greg and Gail?

Greg and Gail?

Greg?

Any luck?

No. God knows where they are.

What do you think we should do?

I'm not sure.

I think we should leave them a note and go on like we planned.

Aren't you even worried about them?

Sure I am, but look at it this way.

All their gear's gone, right?

What that means to me is, they packed it up and took off.

- My bet is they went back. - Without telling anybody?

Skip's right. I mean, Gail's so dizzy, anything goes.

Maybe Gail, but not Greg.

Christ! Greg tags after Gail like a lost puppy.

They went back for sure.

Hey, why don't we take a vote?

Either we cancel out the trip and go back to the rangers' station,

or we leave them a note and go on.

Majority rules, OK?

Sure.

That's fair.

I say we go on.

Me too.

Nancy?

All right.

I don't wanna spoil everyone's vacation.

- Let's go on. - OK.

I guarantee they'll show up.

Please let them be OK.

- Morning, Lester. - Oh...

- How about a sandwich? - Oh.

Here. We got cucumber and cream cheese on oatmeal bread.

- Do people really eat that? - Come on, that's good stuff.

I made an extra one in case you change your mind.

What's up?

Looks like we got another lost couple.

- Where? - Same place as last month.

Up at Northpoint.

- Who are they? - Sylvester.

Frank and Mary.

They're middle-aged and they...

They're supposed to be good campers.

How long are they overdue?

Well, let's see.

The Wilderness permit says

that they ought to have been out last week.

They probably just decided to stay on a little longer.

Yeah, maybe.

Hey, tell me the truth on something.

Are those sandwiches any good?

Sure. Here.

Do yourself a favor and try one.

One thing that bothers me, it's that Northpoint.

It's a real spooky place.

We gotta go round here.

'15, 20 years ago they had a fire up there.

'Worst fire I ever saw. And I know because I fought it.'

It was the worst mother fire in history.

And they had a bunch of gypsies that lived up there in a cave.

Mostly poachers, you know.

Well, when we got in there...

...and started finding bodies...

...we found those gypsies just burnt to a crisp.

I mean to tell you,

whole families huddled together,

fried right together.

You couldn't pull them apart, tell which was which.

It was a terrible sight.

Are you gonna finish that sandwich?

No. No, you can have it.

Oh, thanks.

Well, after... the fire was put out,

the Forest Service sent us back in there to replant.

And I never said anything about this before, Mark,

never told a soul,

but I saw something back there.

I just got a glimpse of it, but...

Well, it disappeared in the brush.

What was it?

The only way I could describe it was...

It was a young boy.

And he was burnt like nothing you've ever seen in your life.

I tell you what, if you like

I'll pack in up to Northpoint and check it out for you.

Maybe you'd better. Maybe if you get lucky,

you can spend the night with that gang of kids from California.

I saw you talking to those girls.

There are a couple of real lookers in there.

Yeah, well...

And, uh, Mark, before you go,

maybe you'd better drop back and get the aught-six

because what we might have back there is a bad bear.

Thirty-aught-six? No, thanks.

If it would make you happy, I'll take the tranquillizer gun.

Well, suit yourself.

If it was me, I'd like a lot more firepower.

There's no way I'd trust those little darts.

Come on, Lester. I'll take care of myself.

Ya-hoo!

Come on in, girls. The water's great.

Oh, Jesus!

Sure you won't change your mind?

Hey, I'm sorry about last night.

Tonight will be a lot different.

Oh, right.

Hey, Joel. Are you coming or what?

I mean, I got a hot date tonight.

I won't hurt myself, I promise.

Did you hear something?

Relax. There's nobody here but us chickens.

Holy shit. I can see what we're coming to right now.

Wow! That first step is a mother.

You're not chickening out on me?

Hell, no. Let's tie up and I'll flip you for who goes first.

- Ready? - Yep.

Heads.

Heads it is, you lucky devil.

- After you. - OK. You carry the rack.

Just make sure the rope's all undone.

Right.

You're all set.

Just be careful, man.

Hey!

'Hi, I'm Gail.'

'Suit yourself.

'I know if it was me I'd like a little more firepower.

'No way I'd trust those little darts.'

Don't worry, Lester. I'll take care of myself.

'Northpoint.'

Oh, God. Hey, Skip!

What the hell are you doing?

Cut it out.

Holy shit.

Joel, no!

Bobbie...

Come with me.

Oh, my God!

He's gonna kill us!

Listen to me. We have to keep running.

That's all, just run!

Run!

Oh, my God.

Bobbie!

Bobbie!

No! No, Bobbie!

No, dear Bobbie!

No, no.

No! Oh, God!

Please, no, don't hurt me.

Help. Dear mother of God, protect me.

No!

Shit!

You all right?