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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:06,772 So, uh... What's up, goodman? 2 00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,340 Uh, what do you mean, sheriff? 3 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,075 What's up? What are we talking about? 4 00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:11,710 What's going on? What's the word? 5 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,379 What's happening, my dude? 6 00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:14,880 What's up? 7 00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:15,881 Uh... 'sup? 8 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,449 I don't know. Nothing. 9 00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:19,518 Just sitting here in this cruiser. 10 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,254 All right, just trying to make conversation. Mm-hmm. 11 00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:26,258 Just trying to get to know you a teeny bit better is all. 12 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,426 Hmm. 13 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,771 So...You do anything this weekend? 14 00:00:38,773 --> 00:00:40,239 Nope. 15 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,609 ♪ ride around town ♪ 16 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,245 ♪ stealin' and killin' is how I get down ♪ 17 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,680 ♪ what? Well, you better be aware, son ♪ 18 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:51,750 ♪ 'cause momma named me sheriff ♪ 19 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,118 ♪ momma ♪ 20 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,486 ♪ now you got it ♪ 21 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:55,888 ♪ momma ♪ 22 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,189 ♪ and don't forget it ♪ 23 00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,124 ♪ oh, no, I better go ♪ 24 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:02,127 ♪ m-o-m-m-a ♪ 25 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:06,565 ♪ momma named me sheriff, momma named me sheriff ♪ 26 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,867 dispatch: Brr! Yo, yo, yo, yo! It's your boy dispatch. 27 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,002 Got a little word for you. 28 00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:12,071 We got a call about a 567. 29 00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,939 Copy that, dispatch. 30 00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:16,608 Okay, deputy, a 567 31 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:19,578 is when a masked bandit breaks into a cabin 32 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:23,082 and steals someone's corn on the cob. 33 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:25,117 Why are you talking to me like I'm a child? 34 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,518 'cause I wasn't talking to you. 35 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,854 I was talking to my deputy, abigail. 36 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:31,256 What? But I'm your deputy. 37 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,357 Not yet you're not. 38 00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,193 A deputy has to be someone 39 00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:36,528 a sheriff trusts on an intimate level. 40 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,063 And I don't have that with you yet. 41 00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:39,565 Ugh. This is ridiculous. 42 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,500 Did you hear that, deputy abigail? 43 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:44,002 Goodman thinks trust is ridiculous. 44 00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:45,671 Mr. Goodman, no! 45 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:48,207 That's it! I'm putting your doll in the glove box. 46 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:51,210 What? No? Hey, she's not a doll. She's a deputy. 47 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:54,446 Dispatch, I've got a code 376 with goodman. 48 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,915 Repeat, code 376! Let go. No, no! 49 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,418 [ both scream ] 50 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:01,487 [ crash! ] 51 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:07,459 welp, we're stuck. 52 00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,328 [ grunting ] 53 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,663 darn seat belt. Still jammed. 54 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:14,833 Mine too, and there's no cellphone service. 55 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,435 Dispatch, come in. 56 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,871 Brr! Yo, yo, yo. Dispatch here. We're in trouble. 57 00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:21,340 Goodman caused me to crash my cruiser, and now we're stuck. 58 00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,041 [ laughs ] just kidding, playa! 59 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,878 I'm not here right now, so leave a message after the beep! 60 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:26,812 [ beep ] [ groans ] 61 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,113 oh, great. 62 00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:30,349 Well, seems we could be stuck here a while, 63 00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:32,317 so why don't we make the best of it 64 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,287 and get to know each other a little bit, huh? 65 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:39,291 Come on, goodman. What's the big deal? 66 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,059 No, sheriff. Come on. 67 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,395 No, I just don't think I have to tell you 68 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:47,266 whether or not I wash my hands before or after going "pee-pee." 69 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,234 well, what else is there to know about ya? 70 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:50,802 What do you want to know? 71 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:54,473 Like, do you prefer sandwiches with or without crusts? 72 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,542 Do you believe in aliens? Do you -- 73 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,777 sheriff, none of this matters. 74 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:02,014 Can we please focus on getting out of here? 75 00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:03,448 Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. 76 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,951 Ah! These darn seat belts! 77 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,252 Aah! 78 00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,321 Goodman, get ahold of yourself. 79 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,989 [ whistles, chuckles ] 80 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:11,890 huh? 81 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,425 Great, goodman. 82 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:18,497 Seems your little shout-burst attracted some bush monsters. 83 00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:21,700 [ chittering ] huh. 84 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,603 That wasn't a masked bandit stealing corn on the cob. 85 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:25,771 It was just a raccoon. 86 00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,339 Sheriff: Oh, yeah, they do look like 87 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,374 they're wearing little bandit masks. 88 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,609 Cute. 89 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,110 Hello, raccoon. 90 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,345 Dispatch? 91 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,813 Brr! Yo, yo, yo. Dispatch here! 92 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:35,948 Great! You're there. 93 00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:37,316 We solved the bandit case, but -- 94 00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:39,017 [ laughs ] just kidding, playa! 95 00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:41,653 I'm not here right now, so leave a message after the beep! 96 00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,488 [ beep ] darn it! Stupid seat belt! 97 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,190 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second. 98 00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:46,458 Did you say "we"? 99 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:49,127 'cause you can't officially solve a case 100 00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,663 until I trust you as my deputy. 101 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:55,434 What? Yeah, that means I got to know everything about you. 102 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,369 Everything. [ sighs ] 103 00:03:57,371 --> 00:04:01,240 wait. Why is the raccoon eating the corn like that? 104 00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:02,608 [ chittering ] 105 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,943 ah, just one of those things you can't explain. 106 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,144 You know, like aliens. 107 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,312 You believe in aliens? 108 00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:08,847 Oh, yeah, dude. 109 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:11,783 Wouldn't it be cool to see one or pet one 110 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:15,087 or have a tickle fight with one of those little stinkers? 111 00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:16,321 Tickle, tickle, tickle! No, sheriff. 112 00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:17,689 [ laughs ] tickle, tickle, tickle! 113 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:18,790 No, sheriff, stop! 114 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,326 Ah, look at you, learning about me now. 115 00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:22,995 Don't you feel closer? Eh. 116 00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:24,429 And there's so much more. 117 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,365 Like how I'm a before, on account of 118 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,734 I don't want to get hand germs on my wonker-doodle. 119 00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,403 Wonker-doodle? You know, my pee-pee, my jimmy-jingler. 120 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,639 Think about it. You touch gross stuff all day, 121 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:36,074 like trash can lids and vegetables. 122 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,576 You don't want those weird germs 123 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,678 rubbing off on your mr. Snobble-wobbler. 124 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,314 Sheriff, can we please just -- and as far as sandwiches go, 125 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,284 I'm a no-crust boy, and, yes, it matters. 126 00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:48,153 [ groans ] you see, crust boys are usually cheap and uptight, 127 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:51,490 whereas your no-crust boy likes to get a little wild. 128 00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,859 [ growling ] like, he'll do a fast walk at the pool 129 00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,294 that's not quite running, 130 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:57,529 but clearly, he's pushing it with the lifeguard. 131 00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:01,500 Sheriff, please! Shut up! 132 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,903 How about we just play the quiet game? 133 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,772 Yeah. 134 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:07,906 Okay, fine. 135 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:08,807 Oh. 136 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,941 [ chomping ] huh? 137 00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,576 [ snarls ] 138 00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:14,179 you think there's something wrong with that raccoon? 139 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,480 Mmm-mm-mm. 140 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,684 [ birds screech ] 141 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,553 [ bag rustling ] 142 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,891 [ crunching ] 143 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:26,958 ah! 144 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,895 Mm, mm. 145 00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,897 [ sighs ] 146 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,298 [ bag rustling ] 147 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,334 [ moaning ] 148 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:38,070 [ crunching, swallows ] 149 00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:40,205 [ crunching, moaning ] 150 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:53,685 ♪ 151 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,753 [ bag rustles ] 152 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:58,390 [ sighs ] 153 00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,826 oh. No, no more chips! 154 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:04,262 Enough with the chips! 155 00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:05,931 [ chittering ] 156 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:08,133 sheriff, I-I really think there's something wrong 157 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,434 with that raccoon. 158 00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,403 [ snarls, screeches ] whoa! Whoa! 159 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,271 Whoa! Ah-ah-ah-ah! 160 00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,573 What does it want? 161 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:17,509 Guess the quiet game is over. [ chuckles ] 162 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:21,580 ♪ 'cause we're stuck in a cruiser ♪ 163 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,648 ♪ and goodman is a snoozer ♪ 164 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:26,818 ♪ I don't know nothing 'bout his life ♪ 165 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:29,554 ♪ is he a before or after? ♪ 166 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,323 ♪ abigail, why no laughter? ♪ 167 00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:33,458 ♪ 'cause he's someone I don't trust ♪ 168 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,560 ♪ till I know if he cuts his crust ♪ 169 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,763 ♪ or does he believe in aliens? ♪ 170 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,464 ♪ goodman, please explain-ians ♪ 171 00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:41,366 ah, sheriff, stop! ♪ la la la-la-la la-la-la ♪ 172 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,735 and, you, go away, raccoon, shoo! 173 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,937 You shouldn't have given it my potato chips. 174 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,172 Now he wants more food. 175 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,508 Well, I don't have any more food, okay? 176 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:50,976 Where is it? Uh... 177 00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,812 Aha! I bet if I throw some more chips off the cliff, 178 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,614 it'll follow it right off. 179 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,749 Now, I'll just get its attention -- [ screeches ] 180 00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,852 [ screaming ] oh, my gosh! 181 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,921 Ooh, that is some bite. Owie, owie, owie, owie. 182 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,190 See if there's something about raccoon bites 183 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,658 in this wildlife booklet. 184 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:09,294 I'm feeling woo-- woozy. 185 00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,863 Hmm, let's see here. Um... 186 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,366 "if rabid, raccoons are dangerous 187 00:07:14,368 --> 00:07:16,802 and can transmit rabies to humans, 188 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:21,006 which can quickly lead to [gasps] madness." 189 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,107 [ growling ] 190 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,442 sheriff, are you okay? 191 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,776 Oh, back off, sheriff! 192 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,578 No, no, no, no, no! Don't touch! 193 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,346 Dispatch? Aah! [ raccoon screeches ] 194 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:29,948 brr! Yo, yo, yo! Dispatch here! 195 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,350 Oh, dispatch, sheriff has rabies and he's gone mad! 196 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,686 You got to help me! [ laughs ] just kidding, playa! 197 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:37,322 I'm not here right now, so leave a message after the beep! Damn it! Damn it! 198 00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:39,257 [ screaming ] 199 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:44,329 [ crying ] [ growling ] 200 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:47,132 oh, god, sheriff, stop! Stop! 201 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,967 [ crunch! ] 202 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,802 ah. Ohh. 203 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:51,903 Let's see here. 204 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,773 "if bitten, please seek treatment immediately, 205 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:57,876 or you'll die a most painful death." 206 00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,512 oh! Dispatch, please pick up! 207 00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,247 Brr! Yo, yo, yo! Dispatch here! 208 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:03,949 Dispatch, this is really bad! 209 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,351 If you can't help us... [ laughs ] just kidding, playa! 210 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:09,955 I'm not here right now, so leave a message after the beep! ...I don't know who will. 211 00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,056 [ insects chirping ] 212 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:12,657 dispatch? 213 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,427 This message is for my wife. 214 00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:17,996 Beverly, I'm sorry it has come to this, 215 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,699 but I've been trapped with sheriff for some time now, 216 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,767 and strange guy, by the way. 217 00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:25,437 Don't ever shake his hand, 'cause he's a before, 218 00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:27,539 not an after, like normal people. 219 00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:31,443 Not that you'll be able to, 'cause he'll be dead soon. 220 00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:32,744 Anyway, beverly, 221 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,347 I'll always remember our first picnic together. 222 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,848 To be honest, at first, 223 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,117 I thought you were a little too wild for me 224 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:42,921 because you cut the crusts off our sandwiches. 225 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,456 Totally out of control. 226 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:45,991 But on our second date, 227 00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:50,595 you made me a boiled steak with raw potatoes. 228 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:53,532 That's when I knew you weren't wild at all. 229 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,868 You were perfect. 230 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,738 Death, where will it lead me? 231 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:02,107 Maybe I'll be reborn on another planet 232 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:06,444 as a weird alien with two heads and tongues for arms. 233 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,612 [ laughs ] 234 00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:10,315 and they'll call me glorf. 235 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:12,784 Glorf. I think I'd like that. 236 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:16,154 And I, glorf, will look at the stars at night 237 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:20,525 and know that somewhere, my one true love is out there. 238 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:26,131 [ crying ] because, beverly, I love you! 239 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:30,035 This is your husband, captain snuggle bunny, 240 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:32,270 signing off. 241 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,973 [ crying ] 242 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,207 [ growling ] 243 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,143 [ crying ] 244 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:44,583 ♪ 245 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:45,784 [ clapping ] 246 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,820 there you go. You finally opened up. 247 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,655 What?! Opened up? 248 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,991 I almost shot myself in the face! 249 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,259 But you didn't. 250 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,794 And now we have a bond, 251 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:57,829 and that bond can be the difference 252 00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:01,700 between life and death, deputy. 253 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,768 Wait, you don't have rabies? Nope. 254 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:07,505 A good old code 376 always does the trick. 255 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:08,907 What are you talking about? 256 00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:12,177 Code 376 tells dispatch to ignore all calls 257 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:14,946 while I crash my cruiser near a trained raccoon 258 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,617 who helps me to fake rabies to get somebody to open up. 259 00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,085 What? Great job, dispatch. 260 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,720 Yeah, sheriff, I got you, baby. 261 00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:23,221 How's little camper doing? 262 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,289 [ whistles ] [ chittering ] 263 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,590 he's chillin'. Oh, yeah. 264 00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:27,959 How about some whipped rabies? 265 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,828 And how's captain snuggle bunny? 266 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,063 Yo, goodman, you're a little bitch! 267 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,365 [ both laugh ] 268 00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:35,400 whoa! 269 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:39,270 Brr! Yo, sheriff? We got a possible 752. 270 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,106 Ah! A 752? 271 00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:46,177 Goodman, a 752 is a possible alien abduction. 272 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,179 What? Aliens, really? 273 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,581 No, probably not. 274 00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:52,717 [ both whimpering ] 275 00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:54,386 [ both laughing ] tickle, tickle, tickle! 276 00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:55,587 Tickle, tickle, tickle! 277 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,856 ♪ m-o-a-m-m-a ♪ 278 00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,225 ♪ momma named me sheriff, momma named me sheriff ♪ 279 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,994 ♪ m-momma, momma, momma named me sheriff ♪ 280 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,897 ♪ m-momma, momma, momma, momma named me sheriff ♪ 281 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:09,034 ♪ momma, she named me sheriff ♪ 21806

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