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You wanna read?
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No.
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Hannah's in print!
7
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Yes!
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There's a typo.
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Sloppy.
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Mm.
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Well, that's not very ladylike.
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What an asshole.
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Fuck.
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Sync & Corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com
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Yeah, I just feel
like I'm, like, perfect
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for the aesthetic of
"Slag Mag," you know?
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Because it's like my persona's
very, like, witty yet narcissistic
18
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as you could probably tell from
my, like, triumphant Moth monologue
19
00:02:04,287 --> 00:02:06,023
and resultant "Modern Love" column.
20
00:02:06,029 --> 00:02:07,805
And the other thing about me is, like,
21
00:02:07,811 --> 00:02:10,123
I give zero fucks about anything,
22
00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:12,003
yet I have a strong
opinion about everything,
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even topics I'm not informed on.
24
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And I have to tell you that I
read your "Modern Love" piece,
25
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and, for me, I was just fixated.
I was like, what, like, the fuck?
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00:02:21,931 --> 00:02:25,298
Your best friend, so-called best friend,
27
00:02:25,304 --> 00:02:28,884
and then your boyfriend
going at it. Just...
28
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And you just have to sit there and
fucking take it? It's so fucking awful.
29
00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:36,241
How do you even recover from that?
30
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I don't get how people pick
themself up and keep going.
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00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:41,341
It definitely was not
easy, and I definitely
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feel like I'm more of like a dumpling
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- than a woman at this point in my life.
- Yeah, like a
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welcome mat or a punching
bag. I mean, it's horrible.
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Anyway, I feel so, so, so grateful to
be meeting with you. This is surreal.
36
00:02:52,634 --> 00:02:54,840
And you know what? You don't
even have to sell me on you,
37
00:02:54,845 --> 00:02:56,546
because I already love your writing.
38
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But even if I didn't, I mean, we're
basically hiring you for your look.
39
00:03:01,910 --> 00:03:03,389
Amazing. That's...
40
00:03:03,395 --> 00:03:05,977
- what I've always wanted to hear.
- Yeah. Yeah, your look and your vibe,
41
00:03:05,982 --> 00:03:10,236
your shape... I mean, just your whole
thing, like, all that is you. You know?
42
00:03:10,242 --> 00:03:14,771
I mean, this assignment, it's, like,
stupid. It's... it's gonna be rad.
43
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:17,281
- Amazing.
- We're gonna basically send you
44
00:03:17,287 --> 00:03:20,554
to this super chill but
also kind of disgusting
45
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,132
- female surf camp in the Hamptons.
- Oh, my God,
46
00:03:23,138 --> 00:03:25,785
so I'm like a millennial Gidget,
who, by the way, was a Jew,
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00:03:25,791 --> 00:03:28,590
which nobody ever wants
to fucking talk about.
48
00:03:28,596 --> 00:03:31,580
Well, she wasn't, and
that's not the angle.
49
00:03:31,791 --> 00:03:34,804
What our vision is is kind
of we send you out there,
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00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:38,215
sort of bearing witness
to these bored, rich ladies
51
00:03:38,221 --> 00:03:40,957
who are taking surf
culture, co-opting it,
52
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:44,183
just turning it into basically,
like, some shitty yoga,
53
00:03:44,189 --> 00:03:45,978
- which they've already ruined.
- 100%.
54
00:03:45,984 --> 00:03:48,059
And then you look like
the opposite of a surfer.
55
00:03:48,064 --> 00:03:49,560
You're just kind of wandering around,
56
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and, like, we just throw you in the mix.
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00:03:51,828 --> 00:03:53,414
It's so weird how life works,
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00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:55,328
'cause, like, I never swimsuit shop,
59
00:03:55,334 --> 00:03:57,001
and I just bought two new bathing suits.
60
00:03:57,007 --> 00:04:00,195
Also, I read Shailene Woodley
likes to go to a private area,
61
00:04:00,201 --> 00:04:01,784
open her vagina, let the sun in,
62
00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:03,279
and that's how she gets her glow.
63
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,364
So, when she goes to,
like, "Insurgent" premiere,
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00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,693
that's not makeup,
that's sun in her pussy.
65
00:04:27,556 --> 00:04:28,900
And good morning to you.
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00:04:28,906 --> 00:04:31,810
Yeah, sorry. I just have
a million things going on.
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00:04:32,630 --> 00:04:35,814
That's okay. I got a bunch of
reading-for-pleasure to do, so.
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00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,998
Oh, no, baby. You gotta go.
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Baby, I'm not gonna be in
your way. Do your thang.
70
00:04:40,703 --> 00:04:41,921
No, I just... I...
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00:04:41,927 --> 00:04:44,806
I can't have you sleeping at
my place anymore every night.
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00:04:44,812 --> 00:04:47,687
I've been talking about this
a lot with my online therapist
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00:04:47,693 --> 00:04:50,247
and she's, like, obsessed with
the idea that this is just gonna be
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00:04:50,252 --> 00:04:52,632
me getting back into
all of my old routines.
75
00:04:52,638 --> 00:04:54,418
I am in the middle of
a divorce right now,
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00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:57,713
so this is not about
you, this is all about me.
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00:04:57,719 --> 00:05:00,047
Okay, could I just
perception check for a moment?
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00:05:00,052 --> 00:05:01,802
- Sure thing, baby.
- Do you...
79
00:05:01,896 --> 00:05:04,304
Are you asking me to move out?
Is that what's happening here?
80
00:05:04,310 --> 00:05:06,132
Well, technically, no, because I...
81
00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:08,763
I couldn't ask you to move
out if you never moved in.
82
00:05:09,146 --> 00:05:11,392
Right, yeah, but I've been
staying here for months.
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00:05:11,397 --> 00:05:12,813
Yes, and I love that.
84
00:05:12,819 --> 00:05:15,114
I love that. I love
spending time with you.
85
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:16,724
In fact, I want to
spend more time with you,
86
00:05:16,729 --> 00:05:18,943
but I just want some of
that time to be apart.
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00:05:18,949 --> 00:05:20,165
Ah.
88
00:05:20,171 --> 00:05:24,099
Okay. Sure, yeah. I'll just...
I'll just crash with Shosh, then.
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00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,726
Baby, you live at Adam's.
90
00:05:26,732 --> 00:05:29,141
Technically, yes, but,
baby, that's one of the most
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00:05:29,147 --> 00:05:30,952
repulsive places you've ever seen.
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00:05:30,958 --> 00:05:34,264
Trust me, it's a boundaryless
hinterland of sexuality and emotion.
93
00:05:34,270 --> 00:05:37,886
It's very disturbing, and they're
always somehow reheating fish.
94
00:05:37,892 --> 00:05:41,689
Always. Like, they ordered this huge
fish dinner months ago and it just...
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00:05:41,695 --> 00:05:46,138
never ends. It's bottomless.
It's baffling. It's haunting.
96
00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:48,813
I still think you
should try there first.
97
00:05:48,819 --> 00:05:51,034
Oh, I'll try Shosh's
first and see how it feels.
98
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,933
Her manic energy is not welcome here,
99
00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:57,183
so I just think the only fail-safe way
to not bring that in here is to not...
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00:05:57,488 --> 00:05:58,793
live there.
101
00:05:58,799 --> 00:06:01,025
Well, I won't bring her
energy into your place, baby.
102
00:06:01,030 --> 00:06:05,520
I'll just endure her energy while I'm
there, while preserving my own energy.
103
00:06:05,526 --> 00:06:07,233
You're only human, baby.
104
00:06:07,239 --> 00:06:09,261
Okay, baby, I'll just crash at Adam's.
105
00:06:09,527 --> 00:06:11,647
I don't know, it just seems
so weird to me that, like,
106
00:06:11,653 --> 00:06:13,357
they dated, and now Ray's like,
107
00:06:13,361 --> 00:06:16,044
"Oh, no, of course, I'm gonna just
gonna go live with Shosh. It's fine.
108
00:06:16,049 --> 00:06:19,524
We get along so well and our
routines are totally NSYNC."
109
00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:22,178
- Like, who does that?
- Well, Elijah and me, for starters.
110
00:06:22,184 --> 00:06:24,702
Yeah, but you guys don't even get
along that well. Plus, he's gay.
111
00:06:24,707 --> 00:06:26,497
- I can hear you.
- Congratulations.
112
00:06:26,503 --> 00:06:29,004
- Now you know that I think you're gay.
- You're gay.
113
00:06:29,105 --> 00:06:30,799
Well, maybe Ray should move in with you.
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00:06:30,805 --> 00:06:32,025
Ew. No.
115
00:06:32,031 --> 00:06:33,933
That's a very nice thing
to say about your boyfriend.
116
00:06:33,938 --> 00:06:35,776
No, no, no. No, this is not about him.
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00:06:35,782 --> 00:06:38,404
I love him. I just
can't do that right now.
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00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:39,768
I'm going through a divorce.
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00:06:39,905 --> 00:06:41,111
Slow it down.
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00:06:41,117 --> 00:06:44,761
You know what, Marn? That's
surprisingly and impressively mature,
121
00:06:44,767 --> 00:06:47,701
- and I'm gonna give you some big kudos.
- Thank you.
122
00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:50,312
Aren't you glad I didn't let you
throw away that halter top collection
123
00:06:50,317 --> 00:06:53,217
after you read the "how to clean
up like a Japanese person" book?
124
00:06:53,322 --> 00:06:56,208
Literally so relieved.
You're an amazing friend.
125
00:06:56,214 --> 00:07:01,653
So, because I am such an amazing friend
and I am so respectful of your space,
126
00:07:01,659 --> 00:07:03,548
I wanted to ask you, personally,
127
00:07:03,554 --> 00:07:06,212
if I could use your
room while you're away.
128
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,429
What for?
129
00:07:07,435 --> 00:07:10,104
Just a teeny, tiny little orgy.
130
00:07:10,110 --> 00:07:12,026
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Fantastic.
131
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,409
Oh, my God... how many
people even come to an orgy?
132
00:07:14,415 --> 00:07:17,226
Well, I don't want to brag, but
Pablo only really invites the elite,
133
00:07:17,231 --> 00:07:20,278
usually from the Broadway sphere,
so it'll be small, probably like 15.
134
00:07:20,284 --> 00:07:22,460
I think it's gonna be a really
good way for me to network.
135
00:07:22,465 --> 00:07:24,278
Why don't you just take an acting class?
136
00:07:24,284 --> 00:07:25,757
Shut up, Marnie!
137
00:07:25,926 --> 00:07:28,709
What do I look like,
Ryan Dillon Davidson? Pff!
138
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:30,732
- I don't know who that is.
- Yes, you do.
139
00:07:30,738 --> 00:07:32,732
- We went to Oberlin with him.
- Mm-hm.
140
00:07:32,738 --> 00:07:36,055
He was that annoying boy who was always
gaining and losing weight for a role,
141
00:07:36,061 --> 00:07:37,748
and the role was always chorus.
142
00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:41,451
That's who takes class,
Marnie, your dumb friend.
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00:07:41,457 --> 00:07:44,173
That's who takes fuckin' class!
144
00:07:46,970 --> 00:07:49,362
I don't think you need to
take an acting class, baby.
145
00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:52,113
Thank you. I'm gonna
fuck my way to the middle.
146
00:08:15,268 --> 00:08:16,589
I guess it's just...
147
00:08:16,595 --> 00:08:18,457
I wouldn't have signed up for the camp
148
00:08:18,463 --> 00:08:21,385
if I knew that Tamara wasn't
teaching this year. Like...
149
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,160
she is an incredible person.
150
00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:28,116
Tamara's in Santa Cruz on vacation
with her family this season.
151
00:08:28,122 --> 00:08:30,000
Is there a way I can contact her?
152
00:08:30,006 --> 00:08:32,102
I know she'd want to hear from me.
153
00:08:32,108 --> 00:08:34,288
Facebook's a good way to keep in touch.
154
00:08:35,604 --> 00:08:37,817
I reached out to her,
like, 12 times on Face...
155
00:08:37,823 --> 00:08:39,612
Fuck this. Fuck this!
156
00:08:41,698 --> 00:08:44,651
Wow, seems like there's a pretty
tangled web of history there.
157
00:08:44,860 --> 00:08:46,622
And super lesbionic.
158
00:08:46,628 --> 00:08:49,109
Me, I'm just worried about being
able to swim out to my board.
159
00:08:49,114 --> 00:08:50,831
Okay, but you can swim, right?
160
00:08:50,837 --> 00:08:53,730
Because it's kind of, like, a
liability issue if you can't.
161
00:08:54,064 --> 00:08:57,666
I can 100% swim. I have
a fun sense of humor.
162
00:08:58,124 --> 00:08:59,331
Great!
163
00:08:59,337 --> 00:09:02,688
Okay, well, you can go up to
your room, loosen those joints,
164
00:09:02,694 --> 00:09:05,454
and we'll see you in the
parking lot in about an hour.
165
00:09:05,782 --> 00:09:09,391
Great. I'm not complaining, but she did
get a tote and I just got these papers.
166
00:09:09,397 --> 00:09:12,494
- I'll see you soon.
- Uh... Wear sunscreen!
167
00:09:13,381 --> 00:09:15,207
You're very pale!
168
00:09:19,828 --> 00:09:21,629
Fuck!
169
00:09:23,239 --> 00:09:25,238
Oh, God damn it.
170
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,709
Oh, my God, this is so cute.
171
00:10:12,557 --> 00:10:14,375
Yo, can you put it in park this time?
172
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,118
Yo, park.
173
00:10:18,794 --> 00:10:20,882
♪ Hey, yo, I'm feelin'
like Ray Charles ♪
174
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:23,597
♪ I got my shades on, I don't
know where they are... ♪
175
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:26,192
- Yo.
- Yo.
176
00:10:26,456 --> 00:10:28,320
Sweet board. Sick.
177
00:10:28,326 --> 00:10:29,917
Oh, this is just foam.
178
00:10:30,315 --> 00:10:32,045
Cool colors, though.
179
00:10:34,076 --> 00:10:37,545
- Here for the surf camp?
- Uh, yeah. Ah... the girl inside
180
00:10:37,551 --> 00:10:40,975
told me to come out to the parking
lot, but she seemed pretty, uh, dumb.
181
00:10:40,981 --> 00:10:44,280
Everyone here kind of talks in
this slow, unintelligible way that
182
00:10:44,286 --> 00:10:47,468
borders on just, like, Matthew
McConaughey hell, so I don't really...
183
00:10:47,474 --> 00:10:51,613
Right, okay, well, I'm one of
the instructors, Paul-Louis.
184
00:10:51,619 --> 00:10:55,298
Oh, yeah. Well, you have a smart
voice, so. But "Paul Louis"...
185
00:10:55,408 --> 00:10:58,110
asking people to call you
by two names, very bold move.
186
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:01,327
Oh, no, no. It's, ah, one name.
Like the French Paul-Louis?
187
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:02,621
Got it.
188
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:06,807
Anyway, you want to suit up? We're
gonna head down to the surf soon.
189
00:11:06,813 --> 00:11:08,206
I'm in a bathing suit.
190
00:11:08,212 --> 00:11:10,284
Uh, wet suit. It's behind ya.
191
00:11:13,019 --> 00:11:15,530
- These?
- Yeah, one of those.
192
00:11:16,222 --> 00:11:17,527
They're all clean.
193
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,807
Jesus!
194
00:11:21,885 --> 00:11:24,395
- Sorry, um...
- For what?
195
00:11:24,895 --> 00:11:26,190
For, um...
196
00:11:26,283 --> 00:11:28,543
I actually texted, saying that I...
197
00:11:29,051 --> 00:11:31,738
needed to crash here for
a while. I might come by.
198
00:11:31,744 --> 00:11:33,535
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you did.
199
00:11:34,011 --> 00:11:35,266
I remember.
200
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,837
Yeah, but you didn't...
you didn't respond.
201
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,916
- Mm-mm.
- So, I assumed you weren't here
202
00:11:39,922 --> 00:11:41,492
- or something.
- Mm-hmm.
203
00:11:41,954 --> 00:11:45,134
I live here, so I just
decided to come anyway.
204
00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:46,998
- Wow.
- Hey, man.
205
00:11:47,004 --> 00:11:48,204
Oh, hey.
206
00:11:48,217 --> 00:11:49,591
Oh.
207
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,431
- Well, it's been a minute.
- Yep...
208
00:11:53,487 --> 00:11:54,800
it has.
209
00:11:54,995 --> 00:11:57,228
Oh, uh, do you need any yogurt?
210
00:11:57,298 --> 00:11:59,298
Keep the brain in your gut happy.
211
00:11:59,399 --> 00:12:02,372
- Thank you.
- It's not...
212
00:12:02,974 --> 00:12:04,972
What? You already have a spoon!
213
00:12:04,978 --> 00:12:07,440
I know, I'm sorry. I found it after...!
214
00:12:10,961 --> 00:12:13,633
Okay, okay! We have
company, we have company.
215
00:12:13,704 --> 00:12:15,032
H-hey.
216
00:12:15,813 --> 00:12:17,014
What's up?
217
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:19,407
Wh-what's going on here?
Where's all my stuff?
218
00:12:19,413 --> 00:12:21,594
Well, we needed a clearer
space for sex reasons,
219
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,601
so we thought we'd
give you your own area.
220
00:12:23,607 --> 00:12:25,298
So you put my stuff in the corner?
221
00:12:29,279 --> 00:12:30,484
Oh, God.
222
00:12:34,029 --> 00:12:36,078
So you just jammed all
my shit in the corner?
223
00:12:36,084 --> 00:12:38,469
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, but it's by the best widow.
224
00:12:38,475 --> 00:12:41,679
And it's all organized. I
mean, basically, roughly.
225
00:12:41,764 --> 00:12:43,419
Mmm... in that it's not.
226
00:12:46,576 --> 00:12:47,776
Oh.
227
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:51,435
Look, I'm gonna have to, um,
crash here for a while, so...
228
00:12:51,607 --> 00:12:55,183
I'm gonna have to lie
down where your vagina is.
229
00:12:55,189 --> 00:12:56,389
Yeah.
230
00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:59,184
Right here. Same as always.
231
00:12:59,284 --> 00:13:00,484
Yeah.
232
00:13:00,675 --> 00:13:02,762
Ew! I really don't like this "yuh-gurt."
233
00:13:04,445 --> 00:13:06,312
Let's see what else there is.
234
00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:07,908
You really don't like this "yo-gurt."
235
00:13:07,914 --> 00:13:09,498
Yuh-gurt! Yuh-gurt!
236
00:13:09,601 --> 00:13:11,895
- Sorry! Sorry, sorry.
- _
237
00:13:11,976 --> 00:13:13,886
That was so hard to get on.
238
00:13:13,892 --> 00:13:15,936
I had to lube the whole thing
up with motel conditioner
239
00:13:15,941 --> 00:13:19,028
- just to get it over my ass.
- Yeah, ah, that's my wetsuit.
240
00:13:19,306 --> 00:13:21,801
Are you sure? 'Cause it was just
hanging over there with the others.
241
00:13:21,806 --> 00:13:25,896
No, except it's pink and it has my name
written in super large letters inside.
242
00:13:25,902 --> 00:13:29,409
Oh... okay. I thought
the brand was Ginny.
243
00:13:29,415 --> 00:13:31,508
- I am so sorry.
- It's okay.
244
00:13:31,514 --> 00:13:33,603
Uh, Teo, why don't you get the
rest of the girls down there?
245
00:13:33,608 --> 00:13:35,002
Ah, all right.
246
00:13:35,008 --> 00:13:38,439
Let's make our own little paradise.
Come on. Let's go, let's go.
247
00:13:38,445 --> 00:13:40,316
Okay, guys, guys,
guys, guys. I think this
248
00:13:40,321 --> 00:13:43,579
is a misunderstanding. We can get
this resolved nice and clean, okay?
249
00:13:43,585 --> 00:13:46,660
We have more wetsuits on the truck.
Why don't you take that off here,
250
00:13:46,836 --> 00:13:50,701
and you guys can both get suited
up down at the beach? Is that okay?
251
00:13:51,049 --> 00:13:53,163
- Right?
- So, I should take this off here?
252
00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:55,889
- Yeah, go ahead. That okay?
- Okay.
253
00:13:56,354 --> 00:13:58,378
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
254
00:13:58,384 --> 00:14:00,001
Okay, stop, you're s'pose...
255
00:14:00,638 --> 00:14:02,558
You're supposed to have
a bikini on under that.
256
00:14:02,564 --> 00:14:05,468
Well, fuck me. I did
not get that information.
257
00:14:08,441 --> 00:14:10,425
Right, how's everybody feeling? Good?
258
00:14:10,431 --> 00:14:12,516
- Yeah.
- You good?
259
00:14:12,806 --> 00:14:15,846
Looking good. A lot of you are
gonna remember this from last year.
260
00:14:15,852 --> 00:14:18,285
I know you will. It was a blast, right?
261
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,431
- How's the hip? You okay?
- Eh...
262
00:14:20,737 --> 00:14:21,937
Looking good.
263
00:14:21,943 --> 00:14:23,784
All right, so, position on the board
264
00:14:23,790 --> 00:14:25,818
is one of the most important
things we want to establish
265
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,323
right off the top, okay?
266
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,909
So, ideally, you want to have your toes
267
00:14:29,915 --> 00:14:32,517
on the tail or just off
the tail of the board,
268
00:14:32,609 --> 00:14:34,340
chest up off the board.
269
00:14:34,346 --> 00:14:36,744
- Tits out, ladies!
- Mmm.
270
00:14:38,341 --> 00:14:39,723
And, uh...
271
00:14:40,533 --> 00:14:44,027
have the nice, strong back
muscles engaged, here.
272
00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:46,877
I mean, you yogis got this
down. You show me up every time.
273
00:14:47,134 --> 00:14:49,315
- Mmm.
- All right, Laramy.
274
00:14:49,524 --> 00:14:52,305
A'right, we get the
point. You're beautiful.
275
00:14:52,311 --> 00:14:55,141
So, engaging our back muscles,
and we're gonna be paddling.
276
00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:59,774
Just like we're swimming. Nice
and relaxed. Feel the wave coming.
277
00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:01,267
Hands on the rails
278
00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:03,388
and we're gonna pop up on three.
279
00:15:03,394 --> 00:15:06,482
Okay, straight up to a standing
position. Try not to come to your knees.
280
00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:08,864
So that's one, two,
281
00:15:08,870 --> 00:15:10,070
three...
282
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:13,254
straight up. Good work! Good work!
283
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:16,159
Key is to stay low and remember
to always look where you're going.
284
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,854
If you look down, you're gonna
fall down. That's what I always say.
285
00:15:18,860 --> 00:15:20,246
Right? Just like life.
286
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:22,392
All right, we're gonna
drill that a couple times...
287
00:15:22,563 --> 00:15:23,763
okay?
288
00:15:23,837 --> 00:15:25,267
Laramy?
289
00:15:25,711 --> 00:15:28,234
What's up? Show me what you got, lady.
290
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,617
I know you got this.
291
00:15:30,015 --> 00:15:32,269
Duh-duh-duh-duh! Boom!
292
00:15:33,124 --> 00:15:35,653
Nailed it! Every time, you...
293
00:15:35,843 --> 00:15:38,132
ah! Beautiful.
294
00:15:38,226 --> 00:15:39,648
Real nice. That's cute.
295
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,186
Every time. Goddamn star of the sea.
296
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,551
We got to get her into
some kind of ocean circus.
297
00:15:46,002 --> 00:15:48,690
Okay, Hannah, give this a go?
298
00:15:48,696 --> 00:15:49,908
Um...
299
00:15:49,914 --> 00:15:51,331
You got this.
300
00:15:51,525 --> 00:15:53,231
You wanna slide down a little?
301
00:15:53,814 --> 00:15:55,426
Okay, you got it.
302
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:58,166
Chest up. Chest up. You got this.
303
00:15:58,172 --> 00:16:01,284
Back muscles engaged. We start
paddling, just like you're swimming.
304
00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:03,375
Nice and easy. We're just paddling.
305
00:16:04,251 --> 00:16:07,264
In that position. Yeah,
but with the chest up.
306
00:16:07,556 --> 00:16:10,938
So... and paddling
with a forward motion.
307
00:16:11,868 --> 00:16:13,565
Paddle, paddle, paddle.
308
00:16:13,571 --> 00:16:14,856
That's good.
309
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:19,289
Okay, that's enough paddling.
And then hands on the rails.
310
00:16:19,774 --> 00:16:21,603
Okay, now the wave comes,
311
00:16:21,608 --> 00:16:23,267
you're gonna push up
into a standing position.
312
00:16:23,272 --> 00:16:24,822
One, two, three, up!
313
00:16:24,828 --> 00:16:26,047
Pop up.
314
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:27,280
Okay, that's not bad.
315
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:28,519
- Oh, fuck!
- Shit. You okay?
316
00:16:28,525 --> 00:16:30,255
- Fuck. No, I'm not okay.
- You right?
317
00:16:30,342 --> 00:16:32,076
No, I'm not okay.
318
00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:33,878
It's my front arm.
319
00:16:33,884 --> 00:16:35,085
Which arm's the fr...
320
00:16:35,091 --> 00:16:36,491
- This front of this arm
- Okay.
321
00:16:36,497 --> 00:16:38,790
- is really injured.
- Okay, let me have a look.
322
00:16:38,796 --> 00:16:40,864
You look okay. There's
no grazes or anything.
323
00:16:40,870 --> 00:16:43,560
Well, it's an internal injury, so
obviously you're not gonna see anything.
324
00:16:43,565 --> 00:16:46,579
Uh-huh. You know what? You'd be
surprised. I've fallen over on concrete.
325
00:16:46,758 --> 00:16:50,380
You'll be okay. Ah, sand is
a very forgiving surface, so...
326
00:16:50,386 --> 00:16:51,801
- Okay.
- why don't we get you back up?
327
00:16:51,806 --> 00:16:54,608
What am I gonna do when I'm out in
the water and I only have one arm?
328
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:55,915
Um...
329
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,227
Okay, Teo, why don't we
get her up to Nurse Laura...
330
00:16:58,233 --> 00:16:59,033
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
331
00:16:59,039 --> 00:17:00,619
see if she can get
taken care of? You okay?
332
00:17:00,624 --> 00:17:01,978
- 'Twould be my honor. Yeah, yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
333
00:17:01,983 --> 00:17:05,965
- Come on.
- ♪ We get it on most every night ♪
334
00:17:06,111 --> 00:17:07,507
♪ And when that moon ♪
335
00:17:07,513 --> 00:17:09,312
- Ah.
- ♪ Is big and bright... ♪
336
00:17:09,318 --> 00:17:12,627
Ooh, yeah. That there's
tender. That's the tender stuff.
337
00:17:12,685 --> 00:17:13,895
Fuck.
338
00:17:14,557 --> 00:17:17,655
You actually can't really
sprain your front arm,
339
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:20,271
so you should be all good
to head back out there.
340
00:17:20,365 --> 00:17:23,207
Okay, but I'm a little worried
because I'm, like, super itchy,
341
00:17:23,213 --> 00:17:26,053
specifically in my navel, and
I think I might have sand lice,
342
00:17:26,059 --> 00:17:27,973
which I've heard are highly contagious.
343
00:17:27,979 --> 00:17:30,463
There's no such thing as sand lice.
344
00:17:31,887 --> 00:17:35,722
Okay, I really need you to give
me an excuse why I can't surf.
345
00:17:35,728 --> 00:17:37,098
Who's making you surf?
346
00:17:37,104 --> 00:17:38,509
My job.
347
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,720
You're a professional surfer?
348
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,346
No, I'm a writer writing about surfing.
349
00:17:43,526 --> 00:17:47,129
Although, what if the piece was
about how I went out to the beach,
350
00:17:47,135 --> 00:17:49,545
hated it, went back
inside, and never came out.
351
00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:51,549
Could that be an interesting angle?
352
00:17:52,574 --> 00:17:53,828
No.
353
00:17:54,816 --> 00:17:58,334
I don't really need these. This was
all a charade. I am completely fine.
354
00:17:58,340 --> 00:18:02,222
No shit. I'm just surprised
you're not asking for opiates.
355
00:18:13,690 --> 00:18:15,370
That looks great, Tammy.
356
00:18:16,377 --> 00:18:17,580
Hey.
357
00:18:17,901 --> 00:18:20,097
- Careful.
- Cool wings.
358
00:18:30,195 --> 00:18:32,111
What are you gonna do after this?
359
00:18:34,870 --> 00:18:36,712
Just stay in the pool? Cool.
360
00:18:52,246 --> 00:18:54,357
- Yo, Sebastian.
- What's up, Paul-Louis?
361
00:18:54,685 --> 00:18:56,093
Hannah, right?
362
00:18:56,693 --> 00:18:58,796
- Hi, yeah.
- How's the front arm?
363
00:18:58,802 --> 00:19:00,136
You never made it back out with us.
364
00:19:00,141 --> 00:19:03,499
Oh, it's really bad. It's like,
basically, like... it's not broken,
365
00:19:03,505 --> 00:19:06,719
- but it's not not broken, you know?
- Right. I'm so sorry to hear that.
366
00:19:06,725 --> 00:19:08,524
And with the beach bugs, too.
367
00:19:08,530 --> 00:19:10,730
I think you may be talking
about my sand fleas.
368
00:19:10,735 --> 00:19:13,712
And I don't know how you got my
private medical information, so.
369
00:19:13,718 --> 00:19:17,602
Um, Nurse Laura and I
are pretty tight. S'up?
370
00:19:17,608 --> 00:19:19,610
Yes! Hey!
371
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:20,914
That's my girl.
372
00:19:21,821 --> 00:19:24,403
- That's my girl.
- Did he not just touch my arm?
373
00:19:24,409 --> 00:19:26,089
Uh, listen, none of my business,
374
00:19:26,095 --> 00:19:29,098
but you'd probably have fun in surf
camp if you'd just let yourself.
375
00:19:29,104 --> 00:19:30,416
Everybody else does.
376
00:19:30,422 --> 00:19:32,773
You sound like my
mom. I mean, it's like,
377
00:19:32,779 --> 00:19:35,712
maybe I don't want to enjoy things all
the time. Maybe that's not my style.
378
00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:38,428
In fact, this job, that's
why I was selected for it...
379
00:19:38,434 --> 00:19:41,235
to not enjoy surf camp. I
just didn't know I would...
380
00:19:41,422 --> 00:19:44,311
so thoroughly disenjoy surf camp.
381
00:19:44,519 --> 00:19:45,800
Wow.
382
00:19:46,409 --> 00:19:48,199
Well, I can't say I blame you.
383
00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:51,589
Long Island's the wrong island.
384
00:19:51,595 --> 00:19:55,058
Surfing out here is all just
kook city... posers, businessmen.
385
00:19:55,064 --> 00:19:58,467
I spend a lot of my year teaching,
uh, water skiing up at Poseidon,
386
00:19:58,473 --> 00:19:59,864
this resort in the Bahamas.
387
00:19:59,870 --> 00:20:01,868
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah, much more chill.
388
00:20:01,874 --> 00:20:05,512
- So, you like it out at Poseidon?
- Yeah.
389
00:20:06,155 --> 00:20:07,487
Ah...
390
00:20:07,493 --> 00:20:09,581
be honest with you, I'd
rather be teaching at Atlantis,
391
00:20:09,586 --> 00:20:11,367
but that's not an easy gig to get.
392
00:20:12,854 --> 00:20:15,464
Hey, if I ordered some more drinks
and charge them to my magazine,
393
00:20:15,470 --> 00:20:17,783
would you, um, want one?
394
00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:22,207
Yeah. Thanks. I love drinking.
395
00:20:22,268 --> 00:20:25,346
But... but I'm cool, 'cause I can
drink a lot and not be an alcoholic.
396
00:20:25,473 --> 00:20:27,056
Very, very dope.
397
00:20:27,062 --> 00:20:29,503
- It's tricky, but...
- But you got there.
398
00:20:29,509 --> 00:20:31,097
- Yeah.
- Awesome.
399
00:20:31,511 --> 00:20:34,212
Hey, can I ask you a question
on, like, deep background?
400
00:20:34,218 --> 00:20:36,620
Have any of your female
surf instructor colleagues
401
00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:39,075
had sex with any of
their female students?
402
00:20:39,179 --> 00:20:41,407
Yeah, all the time.
403
00:20:41,413 --> 00:20:43,921
Sometimes we... we all do it together.
404
00:20:44,513 --> 00:20:46,531
Cool. And it doesn't get
awkward with your colleagues
405
00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:48,896
when you're trying to, like,
kind of keep it profesh, or...?
406
00:20:49,245 --> 00:20:51,635
I don't think so. Yo!
407
00:20:53,272 --> 00:20:54,993
♪ You a bad girl ♪
408
00:20:54,999 --> 00:20:57,866
♪ Like the way, how I work
it, yeah, you get there ♪
409
00:20:57,872 --> 00:21:01,116
♪ You wanna dance with me,
meet me on the dance floor ♪
410
00:21:01,122 --> 00:21:04,004
♪ Let's be honest, I
like the way you hit it ♪
411
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,387
♪ Let them see that ♪
412
00:21:06,393 --> 00:21:08,264
♪ I let the crews on you bitches ♪
413
00:21:08,270 --> 00:21:11,020
♪ Tell them, "Eat that,"
I'm a bad letter ♪
414
00:21:11,026 --> 00:21:14,440
♪ You can't compete,
with the top back... ♪
415
00:21:20,031 --> 00:21:24,915
♪ Someone just told me
that there's no tomorrow ♪
416
00:21:24,921 --> 00:21:29,690
♪ And if that is true, I
don't know what to do ♪
417
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:34,660
♪ Guess then these troubles
are out of my hands... ♪
418
00:21:35,104 --> 00:21:37,518
Yo, watch, y'all. It's gonna pop off!
419
00:21:37,524 --> 00:21:39,003
- Yeah!
- All right, right,
420
00:21:39,008 --> 00:21:42,044
let's twist it! Unh, yo. Yo.
421
00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:44,185
♪ I catch you looking at the
gliss on my hands and wrists ♪
422
00:21:44,190 --> 00:21:45,795
♪ While I'm laying back,
smoking on my cannabis ♪
423
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,635
♪ When it come to rocking the
rhythm like Marvin and Luther ♪
424
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,496
♪ I can tell you when I'm messing
with Kan-man and Twist in the Chi ♪
425
00:21:49,501 --> 00:21:51,551
♪ And I be sipping Hennessy,
play some R&B while I smoke a B ♪
426
00:21:51,556 --> 00:21:53,101
♪ You can't fuck with
me, put that on a G ♪
427
00:21:53,106 --> 00:21:54,876
- Yeah!
- Yeah, on a G!
428
00:21:54,882 --> 00:21:56,082
Whoo!
429
00:21:56,088 --> 00:21:58,357
♪ And when I come over and bend your
ass, you be bumping Teddy Pendergrass ♪
430
00:21:58,362 --> 00:22:00,397
♪ I done hit it from the back to
the melody of "Roll It Slow" ♪
431
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:02,336
♪ Now I gotta go up in it
fast, but I'ma finish last ♪
432
00:22:02,341 --> 00:22:03,918
♪ No matter how much of a thug you see ♪
433
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,946
♪ I still do it like it's
R&B, come to the club with me ♪
434
00:22:05,951 --> 00:22:08,116
♪ And when some Luther come
on, I hope you feeling me ♪
435
00:22:08,121 --> 00:22:10,035
♪ And still will be in love with me! ♪
436
00:22:10,753 --> 00:22:15,071
Oh, my God, you guys! I know
him! He's my surf teacher!
437
00:22:15,378 --> 00:22:16,853
Yo!
438
00:22:16,859 --> 00:22:18,139
What's good?
439
00:22:19,549 --> 00:22:21,921
I'm gonna fuck him!
440
00:22:27,771 --> 00:22:28,971
Oh, my...
441
00:22:35,523 --> 00:22:37,625
You're, like, so amazing at rapping.
442
00:22:37,631 --> 00:22:39,525
- Thank you. Takes...
- It must be...
443
00:22:39,531 --> 00:22:42,561
- Takes a lot of practice. Mm-hmm.
- It's hard, right? Yeah.
444
00:22:43,273 --> 00:22:44,641
Just gonna...
445
00:22:48,786 --> 00:22:51,758
Just gonna hit the lights so
Teo knows it's not an invitation.
446
00:22:51,764 --> 00:22:54,637
For sure. Yeah, cool.
Let's keep Teo out of here.
447
00:22:54,643 --> 00:22:56,918
But it's like whatever happens, it's...
448
00:22:58,467 --> 00:23:01,750
it's like... it's like
hang ten, cowabunga.
449
00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:03,039
Let's, ah...
450
00:23:03,453 --> 00:23:05,530
- take your shirt off and put it...
- Yeah.
451
00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:08,859
- in the shirt section. Bye, shirt.
- Yeah.
452
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,781
Fuck yeah.
453
00:23:17,336 --> 00:23:19,732
- Put this up.
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
454
00:23:19,738 --> 00:23:21,261
Totally, just totally.
455
00:23:22,116 --> 00:23:24,028
Yeah. Yeah.
456
00:23:24,034 --> 00:23:25,320
Ah, f...
457
00:23:25,726 --> 00:23:27,884
You know what? My hip
actually just kind of got a...
458
00:23:27,890 --> 00:23:29,538
- like popped in a weird way.
- Yeah?
459
00:23:29,544 --> 00:23:32,325
- Yeah. Oh. Okay.
- Oh, okay. Well, let's try this.
460
00:23:32,331 --> 00:23:34,637
- Let's... if you turn around...
- Yeah, definitely.
461
00:23:35,834 --> 00:23:37,764
Definitely gonna turn around.
462
00:23:39,337 --> 00:23:41,474
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay.
463
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:42,941
- So, I'm gonna go like that? Yeah.
- Right here?
464
00:23:42,946 --> 00:23:45,635
- I got you. I got you. In...
- Is that what...? Okay.
465
00:23:45,729 --> 00:23:47,634
- Help me, here.
- Okay.
466
00:23:50,353 --> 00:23:51,973
- Is that okay?
- Uh, yeah.
467
00:23:51,978 --> 00:23:53,449
- Is that good? Try getting
- I don't...
468
00:23:53,454 --> 00:23:56,485
- your heels around my shoulders.
- My body can't necessarily do that.
469
00:23:56,491 --> 00:23:59,996
That's like a... I'm not
really flexible in that, uh...
470
00:24:00,002 --> 00:24:02,235
- Really?
- way. I mean, I am flexible, but...
471
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,672
this is more like a Cirque du Soleil
472
00:24:03,677 --> 00:24:05,985
- type of thing. I'm feeling...
- Yeah, those... those gals are wild.
473
00:24:05,990 --> 00:24:07,727
Yeah, maybe that's a
little... nope. It's...
474
00:24:07,732 --> 00:24:09,195
- How about if I bounce?
- I... I can't do this.
475
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,030
I'm so sorry. I cannot, actually.
476
00:24:11,036 --> 00:24:13,310
It's not, like, ideal.
It's like I'm much more
477
00:24:13,316 --> 00:24:15,045
- flexible than I am strong.
- It's okay.
478
00:24:15,051 --> 00:24:19,154
And it's like... I just feel like
my lung's a little bit... collapsing.
479
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,129
- Okay.
- So, we just...
480
00:24:21,329 --> 00:24:24,122
- Lie down. Okay.
- Okay. Okay.
481
00:24:24,128 --> 00:24:27,862
- You know what? Just breathe.
- Yeah? Okay.
482
00:24:28,148 --> 00:24:29,486
I'm breathing.
483
00:24:29,557 --> 00:24:31,533
I'm breathing.
484
00:24:31,828 --> 00:24:34,662
That's way better. Thank you.
485
00:24:34,845 --> 00:24:38,644
Yeah, that's just normal.
That's better. Thank you.
486
00:24:50,394 --> 00:24:52,583
- Morning.
- Hey, good morning.
487
00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:56,880
Mmm. You made coffee.
488
00:24:56,886 --> 00:24:59,777
Yeah, I was up early,
so it's my pleasure.
489
00:25:00,191 --> 00:25:01,778
You want some avo toast?
490
00:25:02,371 --> 00:25:04,372
You know it. Gluten-free.
491
00:25:04,861 --> 00:25:07,808
I'm aware that you're GF, Ray.
Give me a little bit of credit.
492
00:25:07,871 --> 00:25:09,943
I do, girl. I do.
493
00:25:09,949 --> 00:25:11,613
I know you do.
494
00:25:11,619 --> 00:25:13,322
Have you seen the
"Metro" section recently?
495
00:25:13,328 --> 00:25:15,047
- Oh, my God.
- Straight-up shit-show.
496
00:25:15,053 --> 00:25:17,519
The minute it goes above 70
degrees, babies are just abandoned
497
00:25:17,525 --> 00:25:18,996
- all over the place.
- I know.
498
00:25:19,002 --> 00:25:20,974
Global warming is gonna
be messier than we think.
499
00:25:22,409 --> 00:25:23,926
Hello.
500
00:25:24,094 --> 00:25:25,778
- Hey.
- Hi.
501
00:25:25,784 --> 00:25:27,183
- Hey.
- Hey.
502
00:25:27,189 --> 00:25:29,612
- Do you want some coffee?
- No. Good.
503
00:25:29,618 --> 00:25:33,161
Definitely have coffee. I bought it at,
like, a real coffee place. Here you go.
504
00:25:33,167 --> 00:25:34,485
Oh, yeah, well, you know
505
00:25:34,490 --> 00:25:36,721
that he doesn't drink coffee
from multi-national conglomerates.
506
00:25:36,726 --> 00:25:38,591
Yeah. I appreciate the thought, though.
507
00:25:39,367 --> 00:25:41,187
Cool. More for me.
508
00:25:41,421 --> 00:25:42,625
Oh, wow.
509
00:25:42,631 --> 00:25:44,207
The American middle
class is disappearing.
510
00:25:44,212 --> 00:25:46,255
Thanks for the hot tip, Paul Krugman.
511
00:25:46,261 --> 00:25:48,483
I know, right? You've really
got your finger on the pulse
512
00:25:48,488 --> 00:25:49,803
- there, Krugman.
- What's happening?
513
00:25:49,808 --> 00:25:51,475
I know, it's like, if I need a tip about
514
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,890
what to talk about at
a dinner party in 2005,
515
00:25:53,896 --> 00:25:55,841
I'll call you on your flip phone.
516
00:25:55,997 --> 00:25:57,578
Fuck you, Paul Krugman!
517
00:25:58,965 --> 00:26:02,194
Thank you for shedding light on the
most obvious, self-evident bullshit
518
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,374
that every halfwit in
the city already knows.
519
00:26:04,380 --> 00:26:06,571
It's like, "Oh, hey, Krugman,
maybe you should write an article
520
00:26:06,576 --> 00:26:08,484
about, like, women's inequality."
521
00:26:08,490 --> 00:26:10,275
Like, let's talk about that.
522
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:11,612
Oh, man.
523
00:26:11,677 --> 00:26:14,073
_
524
00:26:28,362 --> 00:26:30,564
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, no.
525
00:26:31,056 --> 00:26:32,408
Oh, no.
526
00:26:33,064 --> 00:26:34,577
Don't feel bad.
527
00:26:35,096 --> 00:26:38,448
Those, uh, red fuckers you were drinking
are way stronger than they seem.
528
00:26:38,454 --> 00:26:39,869
They make everybody boot.
529
00:26:40,221 --> 00:26:42,425
It tasted like a slushie
when I was having it.
530
00:26:43,637 --> 00:26:46,479
You probably shouldn't drink
so many slushies either.
531
00:26:46,830 --> 00:26:49,563
Oh, shit, that's a
beast, uh, of a sunburn.
532
00:26:49,569 --> 00:26:50,769
Ow.
533
00:26:51,650 --> 00:26:54,251
That's, like, probably
gonna turn into a tan, right?
534
00:26:54,353 --> 00:26:56,240
Uh, probably not.
535
00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:59,443
Fuck. Fuck.
536
00:27:01,327 --> 00:27:02,723
You okay?
537
00:27:03,004 --> 00:27:04,717
Uh, yeah. I'm... I'm fine.
538
00:27:04,723 --> 00:27:07,899
Um... I don't remember
very much about last night,
539
00:27:07,905 --> 00:27:10,688
but I don't feel
violated in any way, so...
540
00:27:10,891 --> 00:27:13,625
- um, that's good.
- Nice.
541
00:27:13,781 --> 00:27:17,300
I'm just gonna, um, clean
that up and go back to my room.
542
00:27:17,711 --> 00:27:20,656
Oh, it's okay. I don't want
you to be all sick by yourself.
543
00:27:20,662 --> 00:27:21,867
You can stay here.
544
00:27:22,435 --> 00:27:25,375
Oh, no, it's okay. I'm used
to it. It's not a big deal.
545
00:27:25,843 --> 00:27:29,017
Oh, shit. You know what?
You've got a lot of pubic hair.
546
00:27:30,370 --> 00:27:31,988
What the fuck did you just say?
547
00:27:31,994 --> 00:27:34,745
No, I just noticed because I've
seen a lot of different bushes
548
00:27:34,751 --> 00:27:37,184
around the world, and
that's just, like, totally...
549
00:27:37,190 --> 00:27:38,849
it's its own style.
550
00:27:38,855 --> 00:27:41,317
Ah, for your information, this
is what adult women look like
551
00:27:41,323 --> 00:27:43,529
when they're using their pubic
hair the way that, like, whatever,
552
00:27:43,534 --> 00:27:45,659
the Lord intended, which
is to protect their vagina,
553
00:27:45,665 --> 00:27:47,323
so thank you for pointing that out.
554
00:27:47,329 --> 00:27:48,763
Yeah, it's dope.
555
00:27:49,368 --> 00:27:50,701
Thank you.
556
00:27:52,242 --> 00:27:54,169
What's the, uh, plan for today?
557
00:27:54,175 --> 00:27:56,457
Um, probably just gonna, like,
go back to my room and write,
558
00:27:56,462 --> 00:27:59,902
and then just, like, cry,
not in, like, a sad way,
559
00:27:59,908 --> 00:28:02,672
just more like in a "Sundays
in high school" kind of way.
560
00:28:03,258 --> 00:28:05,860
I don't really like the beach.
I'm more into, like, my apartment
561
00:28:05,866 --> 00:28:08,110
and the meatball shops
and libraries and...
562
00:28:08,116 --> 00:28:11,969
Whoa. I thought you just didn't like
surfing. You don't like the beach?
563
00:28:11,975 --> 00:28:13,410
No, it sucks.
564
00:28:13,416 --> 00:28:15,467
The best part of the
beach isn't the beach.
565
00:28:15,475 --> 00:28:16,858
It's everything else.
566
00:28:16,864 --> 00:28:18,535
Like, what's the cure for everything?
567
00:28:18,541 --> 00:28:20,848
- Uh, penicillin.
- It's salt.
568
00:28:20,854 --> 00:28:23,333
Tears, sweat, the sea.
569
00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:26,119
Think about it. I call it
the big, blue medicine pill.
570
00:28:26,125 --> 00:28:29,295
Well, I told you I'm gonna sob,
so I guess I'm getting it done.
571
00:28:30,497 --> 00:28:32,099
You know what I'm gonna do?
572
00:28:32,482 --> 00:28:35,497
I'm gonna tell Teo to handle the other
girls, and I'm gonna show you around.
573
00:28:35,503 --> 00:28:38,107
That's a really sweet offer,
but you don't have to do that.
574
00:28:38,113 --> 00:28:39,693
And anyway, I'm here on
a journalistic mission
575
00:28:39,698 --> 00:28:44,320
that I kind of have to, like, pursue
on my own to get the energy of Montauk.
576
00:28:44,409 --> 00:28:48,713
So, you can't hang out because you're
writing an article about hanging out?
577
00:28:49,105 --> 00:28:51,894
I mean, if you want to, like,
show me some inside track stuff
578
00:28:51,899 --> 00:28:54,006
that would, like,
make my editor happy...
579
00:28:54,012 --> 00:28:55,226
A'right.
580
00:28:55,365 --> 00:28:56,565
Cool.
581
00:29:13,816 --> 00:29:15,865
Is there anything creepier than a fish?
582
00:29:15,871 --> 00:29:17,077
No.
583
00:29:29,353 --> 00:29:32,225
- Rude!
- What you gonna do, huh?
584
00:29:33,749 --> 00:29:35,960
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- It's really...
585
00:29:36,241 --> 00:29:39,546
It's very hard. Beach
walking's very hard.
586
00:30:08,955 --> 00:30:10,155
Ah!
587
00:30:11,723 --> 00:30:13,106
Fuck you!
588
00:30:19,437 --> 00:30:21,672
- These kids are always up to no good.
- Right.
589
00:30:24,445 --> 00:30:26,492
But Mr. Cooper's there to help.
590
00:30:27,740 --> 00:30:29,066
Exactly.
591
00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:37,209
You okay?
592
00:30:43,881 --> 00:30:48,177
This really is breathtaking, and that
is not a word I have ever used before.
593
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:50,711
Yeah.
594
00:30:51,074 --> 00:30:53,692
When nature puts on a
show, you gotta come watch.
595
00:30:54,397 --> 00:30:55,597
Yeah.
596
00:30:57,894 --> 00:31:00,493
I just can't believe
that this is my life.
597
00:31:01,263 --> 00:31:02,476
You know?
598
00:31:02,482 --> 00:31:04,199
I'm just a dude from Detroit.
599
00:31:04,459 --> 00:31:08,461
All my parents ever did was yell at
each other and turn the TV up real loud.
600
00:31:09,341 --> 00:31:12,461
The neighbors were always having
kids, kids were always crying.
601
00:31:12,467 --> 00:31:14,760
I didn't know what quiet
sounded like till I left.
602
00:31:15,334 --> 00:31:16,959
Even when I was in my room, it was like,
603
00:31:16,972 --> 00:31:18,972
"Paul-Louis, Paul-Louis, get out here."
604
00:31:19,630 --> 00:31:21,195
I'm from Michigan, too.
605
00:31:21,201 --> 00:31:23,193
- East Lansing.
- Oh.
606
00:31:23,199 --> 00:31:24,710
It was really quiet where I lived.
607
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:27,118
My parents used to forget
about me for, like, 72 hours
608
00:31:27,124 --> 00:31:29,604
while I was reading in my room.
Just, like, not feed me and stuff.
609
00:31:30,857 --> 00:31:32,476
I couldn't wait to leave.
610
00:31:34,273 --> 00:31:36,785
You know, I've seen a bunch of places...
611
00:31:36,791 --> 00:31:41,281
Panama Canal, Sweden, New
Zealand, Thailand, Wales.
612
00:31:41,287 --> 00:31:42,792
- Wow, Wales.
- Mm-hmm.
613
00:31:42,798 --> 00:31:44,572
So, you just, like, wander full time.
614
00:31:44,578 --> 00:31:48,161
Yeah, pretty much. Bungee,
parasail, hike, kitesurf.
615
00:31:48,300 --> 00:31:50,849
Well, was there something that
you wanted to be when you grew up?
616
00:31:50,854 --> 00:31:52,979
Like, a... like a goal that you had?
617
00:31:53,956 --> 00:31:55,777
Just whatever my dad wasn't.
618
00:31:57,543 --> 00:32:00,252
God, I was so ready to hate this.
619
00:32:01,336 --> 00:32:03,147
Why? What's to hate?
620
00:32:03,327 --> 00:32:06,147
You know, confusing ocean smells,
621
00:32:06,153 --> 00:32:09,297
water sports, sand in my
vagina. What's not to hate?
622
00:32:09,547 --> 00:32:11,238
Yeah, but it's so much
easier to love something
623
00:32:11,243 --> 00:32:12,830
than to hate it. Don't you think?
624
00:32:13,131 --> 00:32:14,965
Love's the easiest thing in the world.
625
00:32:15,025 --> 00:32:16,521
Yeah, but, like, all
my friends in New York
626
00:32:16,526 --> 00:32:18,152
define themselves by,
like, what they hate.
627
00:32:18,157 --> 00:32:19,886
Like, I don't even know
what any of my friends like.
628
00:32:19,891 --> 00:32:21,573
I just know what they don't like.
629
00:32:22,479 --> 00:32:23,792
God, that's so crazy.
630
00:32:23,798 --> 00:32:27,175
It's like everyone's so busy chasing
success and, like, defining themselves,
631
00:32:27,181 --> 00:32:29,295
they can't even experience pleasure.
632
00:32:30,299 --> 00:32:31,794
It's what we're here for.
633
00:32:32,828 --> 00:32:34,192
Think about it.
634
00:32:34,888 --> 00:32:37,224
Hate takes energy.
635
00:32:37,230 --> 00:32:39,975
Love gives vibes.
636
00:32:39,981 --> 00:32:42,144
Yeah, love does give vibes.
637
00:32:44,145 --> 00:32:45,888
Are you a Buddhist?
638
00:32:46,724 --> 00:32:48,146
I don't think so.
639
00:32:50,716 --> 00:32:52,924
You're a really special person.
640
00:33:00,460 --> 00:33:03,493
So, I think that covers
everything we received
641
00:33:03,499 --> 00:33:06,280
from our Bloomingdale's registry,
642
00:33:06,286 --> 00:33:09,468
which, frankly, wasn't much
'cause people really cheaped out.
643
00:33:10,936 --> 00:33:15,157
'Kay, well, obviously, I'll
hold on to all the guitars
644
00:33:15,163 --> 00:33:17,797
and the, you know, various
accompanying accoutrement.
645
00:33:17,803 --> 00:33:19,003
What the fuck?
646
00:33:19,009 --> 00:33:20,212
What?
647
00:33:20,218 --> 00:33:21,745
Those pedals are expensive.
648
00:33:22,748 --> 00:33:24,319
What, do you want a pedal?
649
00:33:26,044 --> 00:33:28,210
You want the, uh, Professor Mud Rucker?
650
00:33:28,216 --> 00:33:30,255
Oh, come on, Marnie,
you're better than that.
651
00:33:30,261 --> 00:33:33,230
Better than what, Desi? Better
than wanting what's mine?
652
00:33:33,236 --> 00:33:35,261
I'm not keeping them
for me, Marnie, okay?
653
00:33:35,267 --> 00:33:38,097
I'm keeping them for Marnie &
Desi. Or are we not a band anymore?
654
00:33:38,103 --> 00:33:39,335
I don't know.
655
00:33:39,734 --> 00:33:42,212
Tour was a total shit-show.
We didn't make any money.
656
00:33:42,218 --> 00:33:44,999
And anyway, it was your
weird hippie-freak girlfriend
657
00:33:45,005 --> 00:33:46,619
that refused to sell any merch
658
00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:49,551
other than the oil that
she blended in a thermos.
659
00:33:49,772 --> 00:33:52,254
Desi, everyone knows the
money is in the merch.
660
00:33:52,260 --> 00:33:53,946
I know the money's in the merch!
661
00:33:53,952 --> 00:33:55,703
And Tandace is not
my fucking girlfriend.
662
00:33:55,709 --> 00:33:57,671
She is my therapeutic companion, Marnie.
663
00:33:57,677 --> 00:33:59,460
- And you know this. You know this.
- Right.
664
00:33:59,466 --> 00:34:02,477
She's helping me on a spiritual
journey, Marnie. You know that.
665
00:34:03,096 --> 00:34:04,676
She doesn't want anything from me.
666
00:34:04,682 --> 00:34:06,072
She doesn't need anything from me,
667
00:34:06,078 --> 00:34:08,180
except maybe my sperm sometime
in the next six months,
668
00:34:08,185 --> 00:34:11,333
- okay? Okay? Okay?
- Oh, my God. That is a good idea.
669
00:34:11,339 --> 00:34:12,999
Beware, my Lord,
670
00:34:13,005 --> 00:34:15,091
of jealousy, for it
is a green-eyed monster
671
00:34:15,097 --> 00:34:18,906
that doth mock the
meat it feeds on, okay?
672
00:34:20,654 --> 00:34:21,863
Fuck!
673
00:34:22,593 --> 00:34:23,967
Why are we even fighting?!
674
00:34:23,973 --> 00:34:25,585
We should be putting
this into the music.
675
00:34:25,591 --> 00:34:27,257
I can't do that right now.
676
00:34:27,263 --> 00:34:30,129
I know that Fleetwood Mac worked
through some fucking serious
677
00:34:30,135 --> 00:34:31,647
- interpersonal strain, okay?
- Yeah.
678
00:34:31,653 --> 00:34:33,072
But we are not Fleetwood Mac.
679
00:34:33,457 --> 00:34:35,277
You should want to be Fleetwood Mac.
680
00:34:35,283 --> 00:34:36,968
You should want to be Fleetwood Mac.
681
00:34:36,974 --> 00:34:38,488
You should want that.
682
00:34:41,066 --> 00:34:42,762
I'll see you around, kid.
683
00:34:43,794 --> 00:34:47,295
Okay, Desi, stop. I do want that.
684
00:34:47,708 --> 00:34:50,106
You know I want that. I just...
685
00:34:51,302 --> 00:34:54,834
I don't know if we can right
now. I'm not feeling it.
686
00:34:55,216 --> 00:34:57,258
Fuck, I don't even
think I'm that talented.
687
00:34:57,264 --> 00:34:58,740
- I think I just decided
- Hey!
688
00:34:58,746 --> 00:35:00,243
- this was something...
- Hey!
689
00:35:02,647 --> 00:35:04,332
Before everything,
690
00:35:04,994 --> 00:35:07,098
before I even saw you as a woman,
691
00:35:07,970 --> 00:35:09,808
I saw you as an artist.
692
00:35:12,689 --> 00:35:14,583
You are a musical force.
693
00:35:16,978 --> 00:35:18,712
You're a musical force.
694
00:35:20,470 --> 00:35:22,120
Thank you.
695
00:35:23,290 --> 00:35:25,575
Thank you for really seeing me.
696
00:35:33,052 --> 00:35:36,249
Fucking divorce is fucking killing me!
697
00:35:45,677 --> 00:35:46,880
Hey.
698
00:35:48,381 --> 00:35:49,714
Hey.
699
00:35:52,778 --> 00:35:54,611
Ah.
700
00:35:54,617 --> 00:35:56,181
Ah.
701
00:35:58,509 --> 00:36:01,416
I was thinking maybe
I should, like, um...
702
00:36:02,212 --> 00:36:04,717
I don't know, like, stay
here for a little while.
703
00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:07,306
- Yeah?
- You know?
704
00:36:07,884 --> 00:36:12,342
Like, maybe I can get, like, an
Airbnb in town and write and hang out.
705
00:36:12,348 --> 00:36:15,272
And, like, you and I can get to
know each other better, and...
706
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,722
I should probably start
disconnecting from, like,
707
00:36:17,729 --> 00:36:20,217
the toxic negativity of everyone
I thought I loved in New York.
708
00:36:20,223 --> 00:36:23,092
So this would be a good way to start.
709
00:36:23,098 --> 00:36:25,090
- Cool. Yeah.
- Cool?
710
00:36:25,096 --> 00:36:27,270
Yeah, it makes sense. I mean...
711
00:36:27,769 --> 00:36:29,654
nobody wants bad vibes in their life,
712
00:36:29,660 --> 00:36:30,865
- right?
- Yeah.
713
00:36:30,871 --> 00:36:32,520
I mean, actually, my
girlfriend Ashlynn's
714
00:36:32,526 --> 00:36:34,643
getting here Friday,
so you can meet her.
715
00:36:35,526 --> 00:36:38,526
Your, um... your what?
716
00:36:38,729 --> 00:36:40,438
My girlfriend Ashlynn.
717
00:36:40,444 --> 00:36:42,649
I know. It's 'cause
her dad is named Lynn
718
00:36:42,655 --> 00:36:45,344
and her mom was Asher,
hence the unusual name.
719
00:36:45,350 --> 00:36:47,136
Kind of have that in common.
720
00:36:47,142 --> 00:36:49,235
She teaches hula up at Atlantis.
721
00:36:49,241 --> 00:36:51,589
Yeah, she got the big gig.
722
00:36:51,595 --> 00:36:54,503
But we try and see each other
every couple of weeks when I'm off.
723
00:36:54,509 --> 00:36:56,587
So... but, I mean, I prefer to go there
724
00:36:56,592 --> 00:36:59,745
because they got a fucking bungee
that goes into a shark tank.
725
00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:01,666
- I mean, not man-eaters or anything.
- Wait, so
726
00:37:01,672 --> 00:37:03,872
you're saying that
you have a girlfriend?
727
00:37:04,563 --> 00:37:08,153
Yeah, but, I mean,
we're open at the moment.
728
00:37:09,215 --> 00:37:12,315
I mean, outside of the Bahamas,
there's no real rules between us
729
00:37:12,607 --> 00:37:16,217
except if we, like, go on a trip. Like,
next month, we're gonna go Kilimanjaro,
730
00:37:16,222 --> 00:37:17,980
which is gonna be a motherfucker.
731
00:37:17,986 --> 00:37:19,847
So, you, like, can't
fuck anyone on Kilimanjaro
732
00:37:19,853 --> 00:37:21,848
'cause you'll be, like, with
her, so it wouldn't be...
733
00:37:21,853 --> 00:37:23,053
Yeah.
734
00:37:23,059 --> 00:37:25,905
appropriate for you to
fuck someone on Kilimanjaro.
735
00:37:26,674 --> 00:37:28,073
Probably not.
736
00:37:28,297 --> 00:37:29,677
Great.
737
00:37:32,461 --> 00:37:35,376
Well, lucky I didn't
meet you on Kilimanjaro.
738
00:37:38,306 --> 00:37:39,605
What's up?
739
00:37:40,182 --> 00:37:43,815
- I don't know. What's up, dude?
- What... Well, I didn't...
740
00:37:44,431 --> 00:37:45,631
Is that a problem?
741
00:37:45,637 --> 00:37:48,457
I didn't think you were looking
for something serious. I mean...
742
00:37:48,463 --> 00:37:51,425
I didn't say I was looking for something
serious. I'm here on assignment.
743
00:37:51,431 --> 00:37:56,627
I mean, that's a cru... Don't, like,
put words in my mouth. That's so insane.
744
00:37:57,987 --> 00:38:00,984
Well, you just seem upset.
You seem mad. I mean, I...
745
00:38:01,876 --> 00:38:03,178
Hannah.
746
00:38:16,046 --> 00:38:17,919
I'm really sorry, Hannah.
747
00:38:20,125 --> 00:38:21,541
I'm sorry.
748
00:38:25,343 --> 00:38:27,620
It's okay. I mean, like...
749
00:38:28,023 --> 00:38:29,945
why get mad at fun, right?
750
00:38:31,373 --> 00:38:33,891
- Why get mad at fun?
- Yeah.
751
00:38:34,014 --> 00:38:36,195
- Why get mad at fun?
- No.
752
00:38:36,201 --> 00:38:38,225
But I don't really want to be tickled.
753
00:38:38,230 --> 00:38:39,738
- Excuse me, what?
- I don't want to be tickled.
754
00:38:39,743 --> 00:38:41,404
- I'd really love to not be tickled.
- Come on.
755
00:38:41,409 --> 00:38:43,550
I'd love to not be tickled. Please.
756
00:38:44,221 --> 00:38:45,615
- If you could just stop tick...
- Right.
757
00:38:45,620 --> 00:38:47,134
I am really serious.
758
00:38:56,656 --> 00:38:59,752
- ♪ She's blood and flesh and bone... ♪
- No, thanks. I'm good.
759
00:38:59,758 --> 00:39:02,186
♪ No tucks or silicone ♪
760
00:39:02,439 --> 00:39:06,062
♪ She's touch, smell,
sight, taste, and sound ♪
761
00:39:07,765 --> 00:39:11,863
♪ Somehow I can't believe
that anything should happen ♪
762
00:39:13,812 --> 00:39:19,123
♪ I know where I belong and
nothing's gonna happen, no, no ♪
763
00:39:20,076 --> 00:39:26,367
♪ 'Cause she's so high, high
above me, she's so lovely ♪
764
00:39:26,373 --> 00:39:28,874
♪ She's so high ♪
765
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:35,021
♪ like Cleopatra, Joan
of Arc or Aphrodite... ♪
766
00:39:35,027 --> 00:39:36,313
You good?
767
00:39:37,711 --> 00:39:42,833
♪ She's so high, high above me. ♪
768
00:40:02,734 --> 00:40:08,540
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00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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