subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for The Office (US) - 3x08 - The Merger.en

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch Download

English Download

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:05,644 The Stamford branch is closing. 2 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:08,961 And everybody��s just packing off their stuff. 3 00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:12,406 And, Bernard, made this staple hats. 4 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,850 That��s the other thing you have to watch out. 5 00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:19,863 Yo, tuna. I want to talk to you about the new boss, Michael Scott. 6 00:00:20,950 --> 00:00:22,300 So, what��s he like? 7 00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:26,917 Likes, dislikes, favorites sports, favorite movies, favorite man��s magazine 8 00:00:27,674 --> 00:00:29,813 You know what? I think you just need to meet him. 9 00:00:29,813 --> 00:00:32,045 Playing your cards close to the vest? I get it. 10 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,000 Good luck over there, tuna. 11 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,262 Cross me, and I will destroy you. 12 00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:39,379 Sounds good, Andy. 13 00:00:41,421 --> 00:00:42,700 It��s gonna be an adventure. 14 00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,674 Yeah. This is going to be very interesting. 15 00:00:45,728 --> 00:00:48,591 Alright. I��m outta here. See you later. 16 00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,192 - Hey, is that Josh��s computer? - What? 17 00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:04,610 Hey 18 00:01:04,610 --> 00:01:06,057 How did the run go? 19 00:01:06,057 --> 00:01:07,100 Pretty good. I finished. 20 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,633 That��s great. 21 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,493 Why is that great? 22 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,262 Because he accomplished something. 23 00:01:12,262 --> 00:01:13,782 What was your mile time? 24 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:15,108 About seven. 25 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,760 I can beat that on a skateboard. 26 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,120 Well, that has wheels. 27 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,824 And, well, my feet don��t and I could still crush that time. 28 00:01:21,825 --> 00:01:23,766 Really, Dwight? How fast are you? 29 00:01:23,766 --> 00:01:25,139 Let��s just put it this way. 30 00:01:25,139 --> 00:01:28,265 Last weekend I outran a black pepper snake. 31 00:01:28,265 --> 00:01:29,089 Really? 32 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,700 I��m fast. To give you a reference point, 33 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,987 I��m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. 34 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:35,849 And a panther. 35 00:01:36,534 --> 00:01:39,000 Damn, what is taking Toby so long? 36 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,459 Oh, I��ll just time him later. 37 00:01:40,514 --> 00:01:42,633 And, you compare the times. 38 00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:45,542 - Yeah. Are you ready? - No, my glutes are really tight. 39 00:01:45,542 --> 00:01:47,232 - Set, go! - I- I can��t! 40 00:01:52,034 --> 00:01:53,727 Am I being mean to Dwight? 41 00:01:55,228 --> 00:01:57,254 I don��t know. I did just make him run around the building 42 00:01:57,254 --> 00:01:59,628 and I have no intention of timing him. 43 00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:00,970 This isn��t even a stopwatch. 44 00:02:00,970 --> 00:02:02,739 It��s a digital thermometer. 45 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,553 He does make my life harder sometimes, and on purpose. 46 00:02:07,553 --> 00:02:09,400 Like he tried to put meters on the bathroom stalls 47 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,667 as a way of bringing in more money for the company. 48 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,103 Hey. Three more laps to go. 49 00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:18,091 You��ve gotta pick it up if you��re gonna beat Toby. 50 00:02:20,934 --> 00:02:22,589 I should probably get back to work. 51 00:02:48,256 --> 00:02:53,928 Script & Syncronization: EasyL http://theoffice.tistory.com (Feb 10, 2007) 52 00:02:53,928 --> 00:02:56,644 The Office 3x08 "The Merger" Original Air Date: Nov 16, 2006 (NBC) 53 00:02:58,063 --> 00:03:00,500 Here... who��s here? 54 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:02,100 - Name tag? - Yes, please 55 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:02,801 Karen Filippelli 56 00:03:02,801 --> 00:03:05,562 Karen Filip... Karen Filippelli 57 00:03:05,562 --> 00:03:07,209 She��s probably an Italian. 58 00:03:07,209 --> 00:03:09,189 Possibly, Filipino 59 00:03:09,628 --> 00:03:12,600 My branch is absorbing the Stamford branch. 60 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:16,790 Or, as I like to put it, my family is doubling in size. 61 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,202 That��s all I��m going to say about it 62 00:03:18,202 --> 00:03:22,100 because I have a gigantic performance ahead of me 63 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:25,629 and I have to get into my head and focus. 64 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,400 Here��s next. That��s Andy Bernard 65 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,055 Andy Bernard. 66 00:03:31,055 --> 00:03:33,000 - If I were you... - Saint Bernard. 67 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,900 - I would fire Anthony Gardner. - What? 68 00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:36,984 - Before noon. - I'm not... 69 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:37,979 The consolidate power. 70 00:03:37,979 --> 00:03:39,555 I��m not gonna firing somebody in the first day. 71 00:03:39,555 --> 00:03:41,435 No, no, no, no. Not somebody. Gardner. 72 00:03:41,435 --> 00:03:43,585 The Japanese camp guards of World War Two 73 00:03:43,585 --> 00:03:47,500 always chose one man to kill whenever a batch of new prisoners arrived. 74 00:03:47,593 --> 00:03:52,061 I always wondered how they chose the man who was to die. 75 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,082 I think I would have been good at choosing the person. 76 00:03:58,300 --> 00:03:59,400 Good morning. 77 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,900 Got the food, good. 78 00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,244 Looky, looky, looky. What I want you to do, 79 00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:06,257 Set it up in conference room, please. Make it look nice. 80 00:04:06,257 --> 00:04:07,757 As if you are trying to impress much older man 81 00:04:07,757 --> 00:04:09,000 who��s way out of your league. 82 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:09,755 Okay. 83 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,297 Yes, I��m in a good mute today. 84 00:04:13,297 --> 00:04:17,455 I��m exited to meet all of the new people. 85 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,393 and to see my old friend again, definitely. 86 00:04:20,809 --> 00:04:23,017 That��s always a thing to make people happy. 87 00:04:23,017 --> 00:04:24,524 To have an old friend back. 88 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,100 Hello. 89 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,344 Ah, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, our first arrival. 90 00:04:29,344 --> 00:04:33,787 Welcome to Scranton. This is Hannah Smotrich-Barr 91 00:04:33,787 --> 00:04:35,127 Hannah Smotrich-Barr 92 00:04:35,127 --> 00:04:37,823 Welcome to our home boulevard. 93 00:04:37,823 --> 00:04:39,848 Follow me to your desk. 94 00:04:40,067 --> 00:04:42,397 Your ball and chain is right over here. 95 00:04:44,475 --> 00:04:47,455 You know, a lot of these people, this is the only family they have, 96 00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:52,162 so, as far as I am concerned... this says ��World��s Best Dad.�� 97 00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:55,966 Ah, there he is. 98 00:04:55,966 --> 00:04:58,027 - Tony. What��s your last name? - Gardner 99 00:04:58,027 --> 00:05:00,937 Gardner. I knew that. There you go. 100 00:05:00,937 --> 00:05:03,632 Gift bag... for you. Okay. 101 00:05:03,632 --> 00:05:04,140 Thanks. 102 00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:05,959 Michael, I didn��t get a gift bag. 103 00:05:05,959 --> 00:05:07,507 Well, they��re just for guest. 104 00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,005 If there��s any left over, you can buy one later. 105 00:05:09,005 --> 00:05:10,796 My bag is mostly pencils. 106 00:05:10,796 --> 00:05:14,458 And, coupons to various hot spots around Scranton. 107 00:05:14,458 --> 00:05:17,565 Alright, let me show you to your area, sir. 108 00:05:17,905 --> 00:05:18,933 Come on, big guy. 109 00:05:18,933 --> 00:05:20,600 Can I have your pencils? 110 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,109 No. 111 00:05:21,484 --> 00:05:24,536 - Hi, I��m Pam. - Karen. 112 00:05:24,536 --> 00:05:25,573 I love your sweater. 113 00:05:25,573 --> 00:05:28,027 Oh, thanks. My mom made it for me. 114 00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:30,400 Really, that��s so cool. I��ve always wanted to learn that knit. 115 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,918 Welcome, welcome, welcome. 116 00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:36,037 Take-me-to-your-leader. 117 00:05:36,037 --> 00:05:39,211 Oh-wait,-I-am-your-leader. 118 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:44,283 Uh, wait, are you a robot or a Martian? 119 00:05:46,611 --> 00:05:49,400 I��m actually your boss, Michael Schott. 120 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,351 Welcome. Wow, you are very exotic looking. 121 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,958 Was your dad a G.I. or...? 122 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:07,000 I��ll be the number two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. 123 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,761 How? Name repitition, personality mirroring, 124 00:06:09,761 --> 00:06:12,805 and never breaking off handshakes. 125 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:14,630 I��m always thinking one step ahead. 126 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:19,459 Like a... carpenter that make stairs. 127 00:06:22,214 --> 00:06:23,281 Hello. 128 00:06:23,546 --> 00:06:28,437 Ah, you must be Andy Bernard. Aloha and welcome! 129 00:06:28,437 --> 00:06:33,456 And you must be Michael Scott. Aloha and... hello. 130 00:06:33,456 --> 00:06:38,450 Ah ha! Very good! Welcome to our little kingdom. 131 00:06:38,450 --> 00:06:42,570 We have a bag of nifty gifties for you. 132 00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:47,227 Michael, thank you for welcoming me to your little kingdom... Mike. 133 00:06:48,851 --> 00:06:49,694 Nifty! 134 00:06:49,694 --> 00:06:53,103 They are nifty! They��re nifty gifties. 135 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,533 You know who I really like? 136 00:06:54,533 --> 00:06:56,009 Is this guy Andy Bernard? 137 00:06:56,009 --> 00:06:59,027 He��s got this very likable way about him. 138 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,609 which is why they just needed to investigate. 139 00:07:06,609 --> 00:07:07,563 Right. 140 00:07:07,563 --> 00:07:09,300 No way. Get him out of here. 141 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,300 We don��t wanna use this kind of hair. 142 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:12,477 Good to see you, man. 143 00:07:12,477 --> 00:07:15,112 How are you, Martin Nash, I presume? 144 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,913 This is a little gift bag for you, free of charge. 145 00:07:17,913 --> 00:07:21,258 Follow me, I will show you where all the slaves work. Not... 146 00:07:21,532 --> 00:07:24,078 So, your desk is... 147 00:07:24,078 --> 00:07:27,326 - Hi, I��m Jim. I��m new here. - Oh my god! It��s really you! 148 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,700 I was just doing a little joke there about how we had never met... 149 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,985 I know, I don��t care! 150 00:07:32,338 --> 00:07:34,928 Awesome! Good to be back. 151 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,530 The place looks really good. 152 00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:37,796 It��s really good to see you. 153 00:07:37,796 --> 00:07:38,820 You too. 154 00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:41,574 Where do I stand with Pam? 155 00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:44,337 Um... no idea. 156 00:07:44,642 --> 00:07:45,698 I mean, we��re friends. 157 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,000 Always have been friends. 158 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,969 That is where we stand. 159 00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:55,800 Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in from Stamford. 160 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:56,632 Hey, Dwight! 161 00:07:56,632 --> 00:08:00,557 Fact. I am older. I am wiser. 162 00:08:00,557 --> 00:08:01,800 Do not mess with me. 163 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,308 Okay. Sounds good. 164 00:08:04,489 --> 00:08:05,513 What are you doing? 165 00:08:05,513 --> 00:08:06,516 I don��t know what you��re talking about. 166 00:08:06,516 --> 00:08:07,465 Do I have a smudge on my forehead? 167 00:08:07,465 --> 00:08:08,749 No, you��re good. 168 00:08:10,015 --> 00:08:10,949 Why are you looking at my forehead? 169 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:11,632 I��m not. 170 00:08:13,204 --> 00:08:14,379 Meet my eye line, Jim! 171 00:08:14,379 --> 00:08:15,376 I am. 172 00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,362 Stop acting like an idiot! 173 00:08:17,482 --> 00:08:17,999 Okay. 174 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,696 Hey, everybody. 175 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,304 - Welcome back - Hey 176 00:08:22,304 --> 00:08:24,004 - How are you man. It��s good to see you. - I'm good. How are you? 177 00:08:27,744 --> 00:08:28,609 So... 178 00:08:29,812 --> 00:08:31,535 Oh, I��m sorry, you sitting here now? 179 00:08:31,933 --> 00:08:32,814 Yeah. 180 00:08:33,393 --> 00:08:34,235 Oh. 181 00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:39,967 Um... Then I must be really really wanna pack. 182 00:08:41,690 --> 00:08:43,114 You know, that��s really your call. 183 00:08:43,114 --> 00:08:44,270 ...call. Thank you. 184 00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:49,260 Get that for you. 185 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:51,839 Got it. 186 00:08:56,708 --> 00:08:58,545 This one taken? No? Good. 187 00:09:01,025 --> 00:09:02,577 Yeah, Jim is a nice guy. 188 00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:05,203 That��s why I got the desk. 189 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,922 Hey, this came with the Stamford people. 190 00:09:08,922 --> 00:09:10,401 Can you take care of it? 191 00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:13,420 Oh, yes I can. 192 00:09:13,702 --> 00:09:17,500 In general, they do not give me much responsibility. 193 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:21,193 But, they do let me shred the company documents. 194 00:09:21,193 --> 00:09:23,942 And that is really all I need. 195 00:09:29,253 --> 00:09:33,228 Michael Scott. Thank you. I appreciate it, Mike. 196 00:09:35,078 --> 00:09:37,623 Hello, I don��t believe we��ve been introduced. 197 00:09:37,623 --> 00:09:39,859 Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager. 198 00:09:39,859 --> 00:09:42,959 Andy Bernard, Regional Director in charge of sales. 199 00:09:43,010 --> 00:09:44,500 So, you��ll be reporting to me, then. 200 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,777 On the contrary... 201 00:09:45,777 --> 00:09:46,984 My title has ��manager�� in it. 202 00:09:46,984 --> 00:09:49,400 And, I��m a director, 203 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,856 which on a film set is the highest title there is. 204 00:09:52,637 --> 00:09:54,100 Do you know anything about film? 205 00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:56,000 I know everything about film. 206 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,517 I��ve seen over 240 of them. 207 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,598 Congratulations. 208 00:10:07,477 --> 00:10:09,588 - Hey, Toby. - Hey, Jim 209 00:10:09,588 --> 00:10:10,606 How are you, man. 210 00:10:10,606 --> 00:10:13,016 Oh, really good. Thank you. Hey, Welcome back. 211 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,027 Oh, is that like a new thing, or...? 212 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,540 No, I��m sorry, it��s... 213 00:10:18,540 --> 00:10:19,250 No, it��s cool. 214 00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,019 No, it's nothing. just... 215 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,297 - Alright, good to have you back. Alright. - Okay 216 00:10:27,738 --> 00:10:29,285 - Alright, Sorry, sorry about that. - No problem. 217 00:10:29,285 --> 00:10:30,021 - Just... 218 00:10:30,021 --> 00:10:31,600 What? 219 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,555 Nothing. 220 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,097 This thing is so awesome. 221 00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:41,844 It will shred anything. 222 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,689 It will shred a CD. 223 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:47,975 It will shred... 224 00:10:50,242 --> 00:10:51,843 a credit card. 225 00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,116 It will shred... oh. 226 00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:58,421 Shut. 227 00:10:58,421 --> 00:11:00,722 I present the orientation video. 228 00:11:00,882 --> 00:11:02,869 - We need to talk - Not now 229 00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:04,123 Which is higher? 230 00:11:04,123 --> 00:11:07,056 Assistant Regional Manager or Regional Director in charge of sales? 231 00:11:07,056 --> 00:11:09,950 I told you the titles are not relevant. They just relate to pay scale. 232 00:11:09,950 --> 00:11:11,516 Okay. So, who gets paid more? Me or Andy? 233 00:11:11,516 --> 00:11:13,457 It is not matter of more or less. 234 00:11:13,457 --> 00:11:16,229 Your pay is just different. Okay? 235 00:11:16,229 --> 00:11:18,824 Alright. Show time part one. 236 00:11:18,824 --> 00:11:20,000 Okay, who reports to who? 237 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,536 I don��t care! 238 00:11:21,536 --> 00:11:24,500 Dwight, you all report to me. That��s all that matters. 239 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,491 The rest of is just work it out amongst yourselves, okay? 240 00:11:26,491 --> 00:11:29,500 - And, then if I want... - Work it out amongst yourselves! 241 00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:32,355 I have company to run. Will you let me run the company? 242 00:11:32,357 --> 00:11:33,300 - Will you? - One... 243 00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:34,415 Please. 244 00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,925 - Jiiiiiiim! - Kelly! 245 00:11:41,908 --> 00:11:43,550 Oh my god! I have so much to tell you! 246 00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:43,900 Really? 247 00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:47,580 Yes! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? They had a baby, they named it Suri. 248 00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:49,600 And then Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? 249 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,536 They had a baby too and they named it Shiloh, 250 00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:55,081 and both babies are amazing! 251 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:57,580 Great. What��s new with you? 252 00:11:57,580 --> 00:11:58,728 I just told you. 253 00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:03,340 Okay, everybody settled in? 254 00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:07,516 Good. Why don��t we all precede into the conference room? 255 00:12:07,516 --> 00:12:11,378 Or, should I say the banquet hall. 256 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,608 For drum roll plays... 257 00:12:18,016 --> 00:12:20,944 The official merger day. 258 00:12:20,944 --> 00:12:23,285 All family welcome breakfast. Come on in. 259 00:12:23,548 --> 00:12:24,499 Don��t be shy. 260 00:12:26,638 --> 00:12:29,748 - Hey, champagne - No, no, guest only. 261 00:12:31,846 --> 00:12:33,200 - Smoked salmon. - No. 262 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:37,100 For you, consider it cow meat. Strictly taboo. 263 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,054 I eat beef. 264 00:12:38,054 --> 00:12:41,297 Well, then consider it poisoned beef. It��s no touch. 265 00:12:41,297 --> 00:12:43,050 - The- the- the beef is poisoned? - No, it��s not... beef... 266 00:12:43,050 --> 00:12:45,314 Just... sit down, please. 267 00:12:45,314 --> 00:12:46,869 Welcome. Help yourself. 268 00:12:47,574 --> 00:12:50,258 Um, you might want these orientation materials. 269 00:12:50,258 --> 00:12:54,269 Wrong, Toby. This is an orientation, not a bore-ientation. 270 00:12:55,521 --> 00:13:00,781 Okay. Do not worry, all of your questions are about to be answered. 271 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,200 Cell phones and pagers off, please. 272 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:03,600 Oh, this looks promising. 273 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:04,955 You won��t be disappointed. 274 00:13:04,955 --> 00:13:08,592 Let��s face it. Moving to a new job can be very stressful. 275 00:13:08,592 --> 00:13:14,100 So I have made an orientation video, especially for you new comers. 276 00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:18,038 But, it��s not like any orientation video 277 00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:20,289 that any of you've have ever seen, 278 00:13:20,289 --> 00:13:22,161 it��s funny. 279 00:13:22,161 --> 00:13:25,472 It��s got a little bit of zing to it. 280 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,332 And I hope that it gives you a flavor 281 00:13:28,332 --> 00:13:31,430 of what we are all about here at Dunder-Mifflin. 282 00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:34,555 And, what we are all about here in Scranton. 283 00:13:34,555 --> 00:13:36,419 So, let��s just all laugh together 284 00:13:36,419 --> 00:13:39,598 and watch ��Lazy Scranton.�� 285 00:13:39,984 --> 00:13:42,431 �� Sittin�� in my office with a plate of grilled bacon, �� 286 00:13:42,431 --> 00:13:44,763 �� Call my man Dwight just to see what was shakin�� 287 00:13:44,763 --> 00:13:47,509 �� Yo Mike, our town is dope and pretty �� 288 00:13:47,509 --> 00:13:50,312 �� So check out how we live in the Electric City! �� 289 00:13:50,312 --> 00:13:51,929 �� They call it Scranton / What? �� 290 00:13:51,929 --> 00:13:53,198 �� The Electric City �� 291 00:13:53,198 --> 00:13:54,268 �� Scranton / What? �� 292 00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,686 �� The Electric City �� 293 00:13:55,686 --> 00:13:58,513 �� Call poison control if you��re bit by a spider �� 294 00:13:58,513 --> 00:14:01,433 �� But check that it��s covered by your health care provider! �� 295 00:14:01,433 --> 00:14:05,722 It reminds me of the orientation video Michael showed on my first day. 296 00:14:05,722 --> 00:14:07,805 The Scranton Which Project. 297 00:14:08,249 --> 00:14:09,966 I��m so scared! 298 00:14:09,966 --> 00:14:13,194 When people don��t label their personal food. 299 00:14:13,499 --> 00:14:15,861 �� You lack coal mines and you wanna see'em, �� 300 00:14:15,861 --> 00:14:18,576 �� Well, check it out, yo, the Anthracite Museum! �� 301 00:14:18,576 --> 00:14:20,924 �� Plenty of space in the parking lot, �� 302 00:14:20,924 --> 00:14:23,637 �� But the little cars go in the compact spot �� 303 00:14:23,637 --> 00:14:26,215 �� Spot, spot, spot, spot... �� 304 00:14:26,215 --> 00:14:30,179 Well, so far, I think it is killing! 305 00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:32,596 I thought it would be an A or A+ 306 00:14:32,596 --> 00:14:36,875 But I completely forgot there was an A++ 307 00:14:38,158 --> 00:14:41,100 This is Karen Filippelli, please leave a message. 308 00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:44,178 Terrible. Totally uncommented! 309 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,057 This is Karen Filippelli, please leave a message. 310 00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:52,851 Not bad. But you are Italian, so... 311 00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:54,847 Try more Italian. 312 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:03,768 Italian? 313 00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:04,735 Alright 314 00:15:09,731 --> 00:15:11,055 Karen Filippelli... 315 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:18,106 Hey buddy. Anything new to report? 316 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:22,100 You mean, to me, from you? 317 00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,043 Cause that��s how it works. 318 00:15:26,431 --> 00:15:27,763 Sure thing, buddy. 319 00:15:32,905 --> 00:15:36,142 Am I trying to get under his skin? Yes. 320 00:15:36,142 --> 00:15:40,049 Because the angrier that he gets, the more marginalize he becomes! 321 00:15:40,049 --> 00:15:42,555 Meanwhile, Andy Bernard is out there. 322 00:15:43,022 --> 00:15:45,247 Layng on the charm 323 00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:49,011 Hey, Angela. Check this out. 324 00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:51,770 It's my new screen saver. 325 00:15:53,741 --> 00:15:55,200 Do you like it? 326 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,715 I do like it, actually. 327 00:15:56,715 --> 00:15:57,403 Thank you. 328 00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:03,930 You have such a pretty smile by the way. 329 00:16:04,035 --> 00:16:05,730 - Thank you. - You��re welcome. 330 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:10,106 Hey. 331 00:16:10,106 --> 00:16:12,061 What happened to grape soda? 332 00:16:12,154 --> 00:16:14,628 Oh, yeah, I��m trying to move away from that. 333 00:16:14,628 --> 00:16:16,900 Getting into more of a bottled water phase. 334 00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:19,036 Oh, you��ve changed so much. 335 00:16:19,036 --> 00:16:20,827 Well, I��m evolving, Pam. 336 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,516 So, when do I get to hear everything? 337 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,500 Are you still getting unpacked, or...? 338 00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:27,646 You wanna grap a coffee or something after work? 339 00:16:27,646 --> 00:16:30,400 Oh, um... it��s night. Actually, no. 340 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:31,889 I��m... I��m... just still getting settled. 341 00:16:31,889 --> 00:16:33,962 - Oh, yeah. I know. whatever. - Okay. 342 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,426 Sorry to interrupt. I... 343 00:16:38,426 --> 00:16:39,923 No, you are not interrupting anything. 344 00:16:41,346 --> 00:16:44,200 - No, I��m... Don��t... - Alright. 345 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,476 - Okay - Alright 346 00:16:48,204 --> 00:16:49,623 I should probably get back to work. 347 00:16:50,145 --> 00:16:52,327 - Crack the whip. - Yeah, I know. me too. 348 00:16:57,421 --> 00:16:58,997 The day��s going fine. 349 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,238 It��s been a little chaotic, but it��s fine. 350 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,368 It��s great. 351 00:17:03,895 --> 00:17:06,832 A lot of distractions, but... it��s good. 352 00:17:12,328 --> 00:17:15,017 Take a picture. It��ll last longer. 353 00:17:15,017 --> 00:17:18,049 I��m sorry... it��s just... it��s a little distracting. 354 00:17:18,049 --> 00:17:19,865 Ditto that, my brother. 355 00:17:37,888 --> 00:17:39,782 Look what��s on his computer! 356 00:17:40,087 --> 00:17:42,322 What is that? It��s squid��s eye or... 357 00:17:42,541 --> 00:17:46,320 It��s my left breast. 358 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,186 - How did you... - Right place at the right time. 359 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,494 What��s this smell? 360 00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:54,903 What smell? 361 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,234 Must a Febrize air freshner is pluged in somewhere. 362 00:18:00,549 --> 00:18:01,966 It smells like a funeral home. 363 00:18:01,966 --> 00:18:03,717 Oh, I��ll help you find it. 364 00:18:07,099 --> 00:18:09,200 Oh, you know. Never- Nevermind. 365 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,000 What is it? 366 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,833 I- I think I��m just allergic to your perfume. 367 00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:15,469 My perfume? 368 00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,457 It��s just my crazy nose. 369 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:20,727 I... um, I��m used to different smells. 370 00:18:20,956 --> 00:18:24,632 Bob Vance bought this perfume for me in metropolitan Orlando. 371 00:18:24,632 --> 00:18:26,535 It��s made from real pine. 372 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,442 Who��s Bob Vance? 373 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:31,518 You have a lot to learn about this town, sweetie. 374 00:18:33,888 --> 00:18:36,587 I don��t know who this new people think they are. 375 00:18:36,587 --> 00:18:41,002 I have sat down windows to Philly��s stinky perfume for years. 376 00:18:41,002 --> 00:18:42,097 Never said a word. 377 00:18:42,097 --> 00:18:44,542 People hate people that are different from them. 378 00:18:44,542 --> 00:18:45,768 That��s natural. 379 00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:48,432 But, you know what makes people to forget their differences? 380 00:18:48,432 --> 00:18:49,277 A great show. 381 00:18:49,277 --> 00:18:52,956 That is why I created the integration celebration. 382 00:18:52,956 --> 00:18:57,445 This is the moment when Scranton is stand for come together as one. 383 00:18:57,445 --> 00:19:00,407 United in applause. 384 00:19:01,624 --> 00:19:04,101 I know what a lot of you must be thinking. 385 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,598 Wow. What a day! 386 00:19:05,598 --> 00:19:08,732 Feel��s more like at night at a party than a day of work. 387 00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:15,369 Well, in my opinion, business should feel like a night out. 388 00:19:15,369 --> 00:19:18,185 A night at... 389 00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:23,306 the Roxbury. 390 00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:27,094 Okay. It��s supposed to be music, and... 391 00:19:27,561 --> 00:19:29,957 I got it, I got it! Dwight! Just... 392 00:19:30,219 --> 00:19:30,755 Do you have a battery in the back? 393 00:19:30,755 --> 00:19:31,488 Stupid! 394 00:19:32,487 --> 00:19:34,601 Haddaway - What is love 395 00:19:39,331 --> 00:19:40,882 �� What is love? �� - Oh that��s it! That��s it! 396 00:19:40,882 --> 00:19:42,997 �� Oh baby, don't hurt me �� - Okay here we go. 397 00:19:42,997 --> 00:19:46,608 �� Don't hurt me no more �� - Everyone! 398 00:19:46,608 --> 00:19:49,088 �� Oh what is love, baby don't hurt me �� 399 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,300 Here we go, here we go. 400 00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:53,381 �� Don't hurt me no more �� 401 00:19:54,198 --> 00:19:56,047 Oh, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. 402 00:19:59,350 --> 00:20:00,561 You me, you me, me you! 403 00:20:00,561 --> 00:20:02,200 You me, bam bam bam! 404 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:05,399 You me, you you you! You me, you you you! 405 00:20:05,399 --> 00:20:07,800 Oh my nose is so itchy. Oh my nose is so itchy. 406 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,144 Oh, probably 'cause of nose candy. 407 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,971 I told you this guy had a sense of humor. 408 00:20:14,971 --> 00:20:17,813 Very funny, Michael. Really, funny Michael. 409 00:20:17,813 --> 00:20:19,300 Alright, Alright, I��m on a roll. 410 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,319 Why are the new people on the table? 411 00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:25,680 To show them that we are not about them. 412 00:20:26,557 --> 00:20:28,700 Shouldn��t we be equals? 413 00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:29,900 Not today. 414 00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:30,881 No. 415 00:20:32,374 --> 00:20:36,643 Tony, please join your cohorts on the table, if you would. 416 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,800 Ah, this is difficult, for me. 417 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,600 I- I understand. We are all friends. 418 00:20:42,757 --> 00:20:46,285 No, I mean I can��t, physically. I can��t get on the table. 419 00:20:46,285 --> 00:20:53,863 Oh, well. Just use the momentum of your lower half to hoist yourself up. 420 00:21:02,024 --> 00:21:03,250 You know what? I��ll help. I will help. 421 00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:05,097 No, please don��t. 422 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:05,845 Don��t be shy. 423 00:21:05,845 --> 00:21:06,900 Dwight, let��s do this. 424 00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:09,229 - Come on, we are doing this thing. Let's get up! - Ready? On three. 425 00:21:09,229 --> 00:21:10,903 - One, two... - Bend at the knees 426 00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,764 Okay here we go. Here we go. 427 00:21:12,764 --> 00:21:15,439 I��m under this, I��m under this hock Here. 428 00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:18,026 I don��t know what I��m grabbing here. 429 00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,600 But it really feels good. 430 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,105 - Push it, push it. - No! 431 00:21:21,105 --> 00:21:22,200 - Right in your crap. - No, put me down, now! 432 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,100 Put me down, now! Put me down, now! 433 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,100 - You got it, you got it! - I had enough! 434 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:28,300 Put me down right now! 435 00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:30,945 - Well, hey, easy. - Easy 436 00:21:30,945 --> 00:21:32,050 I��m sorry. 437 00:21:32,050 --> 00:21:32,448 Don��t... 438 00:21:32,448 --> 00:21:36,257 It��s just not going to work for me. 439 00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:38,463 I have to go. 440 00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:39,500 I don��t understand. 441 00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:41,100 I was on offence about this, 442 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:44,130 And, it��s just not a good fit. 443 00:21:44,130 --> 00:21:45,750 Well, we will squeeze you, man. 444 00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:47,453 I can��t work here. 445 00:21:47,453 --> 00:21:48,856 I have to quit. 446 00:21:51,137 --> 00:21:53,940 You can��t quit on the first day! 447 00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:56,464 That��s heresy, my friend! 448 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,723 Okay, let��s talk about this. What happened? 449 00:21:58,723 --> 00:21:59,949 I mean, Dwight... 450 00:22:01,619 --> 00:22:04,400 Was it Toby? Did he say something? 451 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,725 Because he's... 452 00:22:06,048 --> 00:22:09,218 No, Toby was helpful, he was very kind. 453 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,409 It��s just your management style. 454 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:16,548 My management style? 455 00:22:19,028 --> 00:22:21,019 Didn��t you think Lazy Scranton was funny? 456 00:22:21,019 --> 00:22:24,502 No. Was that supposed to be funny? 457 00:22:24,716 --> 00:22:26,223 Okay, well. 458 00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:30,368 Don��t bother quitting. Because you��re fired. 459 00:22:30,368 --> 00:22:33,042 Excuse me? You are fired! 460 00:22:33,042 --> 00:22:36,000 I��m sorry, but we don��t have quitters on this team. 461 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,300 Just clean out your desk. 462 00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:39,413 There��s nothing in my desk except the coupons. 463 00:22:39,413 --> 00:22:41,700 Don��t try to apologize to me, man. 464 00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:43,486 It��s too late! Just get out. 465 00:22:44,900 --> 00:22:47,294 That your bad vibes with you. 466 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:48,700 It was my advice. 467 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,550 Remember I��m the one suggested that you fire him! 468 00:22:50,550 --> 00:22:53,000 Probably, the best advice that you ever gave me, Dwight. 469 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:57,806 And, what advice has Andy given to you today that you have act done? 470 00:22:57,806 --> 00:23:03,303 Would none be accurate estimate? None advice? 471 00:23:03,303 --> 00:23:07,523 Fire Andy. Fire Andy. 472 00:23:07,523 --> 00:23:10,900 Dwight may have won the battle. 473 00:23:10,900 --> 00:23:15,356 But I will win... the next battle. 474 00:23:15,356 --> 00:23:18,180 Tony was right. This environment is dysfunctional. 475 00:23:18,300 --> 00:23:21,833 Maybe that��s because some people treated like their own private Hooter's strip club. 476 00:23:21,833 --> 00:23:24,676 Woo... Angela, hold on. 477 00:23:24,676 --> 00:23:26,397 Hooter��s is a restaurant. 478 00:23:26,397 --> 00:23:28,267 With over 400 locations worldwide. 479 00:23:28,267 --> 00:23:30,115 But, after work, we don't have to get along. 480 00:23:30,115 --> 00:23:31,455 We just have to work together, you know. 481 00:23:31,455 --> 00:23:33,135 No, we do have to get along. 482 00:23:33,752 --> 00:23:36,445 Can��t we all just get along? 483 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:41,262 Or have we forgotten the words of Reverend King? 484 00:23:41,619 --> 00:23:43,398 The word ��merger�� comes from the word ��marriage.�� 485 00:23:43,398 --> 00:23:45,545 And that was what today was supposed to be. 486 00:23:45,545 --> 00:23:48,700 The loving union between people. 487 00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:54,146 Instead, it has become like when my mom moved in with Jeff. 488 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,642 And once again, it becomes my job to fix it. 489 00:23:59,198 --> 00:24:00,686 Hey, hey everybody! 490 00:24:00,686 --> 00:24:01,965 Something happen. 491 00:24:01,965 --> 00:24:04,341 Those guys of Vance Refrigeration. 492 00:24:04,341 --> 00:24:06,400 - They let the air out of our tires. - What? 493 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,247 Yeah, they punk us! They punk us goods! 494 00:24:08,247 --> 00:24:10,467 Come on! Come on! 495 00:24:13,137 --> 00:24:15,269 Does Bob Vance work for Vance Refrigeration? 496 00:24:15,269 --> 00:24:16,739 Does he ever. 497 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,684 Man, he got us so bad. 498 00:24:24,684 --> 00:24:26,710 We cannot let him get away of this. 499 00:24:26,710 --> 00:24:29,316 We have got to pull together as one 500 00:24:29,316 --> 00:24:31,002 and steal their refrigerators! 501 00:24:31,002 --> 00:24:32,658 - Yeah! - Yeah? 502 00:24:33,106 --> 00:24:34,200 I don��t- I don��t think we can do that. 503 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,800 Go home, Toby. Just... 504 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,738 Hey, what doesn��t your car have flat tires? 505 00:24:38,738 --> 00:24:40,674 Why? I will tell you why. 506 00:24:40,674 --> 00:24:43,268 Because they saved the worse for me. 507 00:24:43,268 --> 00:24:46,153 They put ��I-hate�� note under my windshield wipers. 508 00:24:46,153 --> 00:24:48,104 Check this out. It��s so hateful. 509 00:24:48,104 --> 00:24:50,100 ��You guys suck!" 510 00:24:50,100 --> 00:24:52,633 "You can never pull together as one and revenge us." 511 00:24:52,633 --> 00:24:54,388 "That is why you suck!�� 512 00:24:54,626 --> 00:24:55,962 Crying out, wow! 513 00:24:56,076 --> 00:24:58,057 No, no, no, no, no. No! 514 00:24:58,057 --> 00:24:59,500 You are following forward. 515 00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:00,888 you are playing right on their hands! 516 00:25:00,888 --> 00:25:02,156 Cause' this is just what they want you to do! 517 00:25:02,156 --> 00:25:03,339 What's wrong with this guy? 518 00:25:03,339 --> 00:25:05,952 God, now I��m trying to explain. 519 00:25:09,543 --> 00:25:11,744 This is egregious! 520 00:25:13,499 --> 00:25:15,649 This is egregious! 521 00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:18,750 Trust me, it only gets worse. 522 00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:19,772 Is he always like this? 523 00:25:19,772 --> 00:25:21,768 Sometimes he brings more costumes. 524 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:23,937 When do people work? 525 00:25:23,937 --> 00:25:26,542 Oh, we find little times during the day. 526 00:25:26,542 --> 00:25:28,210 How are we gonna get home? 527 00:25:28,210 --> 00:25:30,000 Bob Vance has an air pump. 528 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,920 He said he��d fill all our tires up. 529 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,179 Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration? 530 00:25:36,112 --> 00:25:39,294 See that. Mission accomplished! 531 00:25:39,294 --> 00:25:40,936 they're like a bunch of fourth graders. 532 00:25:40,936 --> 00:25:46,143 Sometimes what brings the kids together is hating the lunch lady. 533 00:25:46,143 --> 00:25:48,006 Although that��ll change. 534 00:25:48,006 --> 00:25:50,600 Because, by the end of the fourth grade, 535 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:54,318 the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most. 536 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,611 Jello! Michael 537 00:26:01,611 --> 00:26:02,011 Hi Jan. 538 00:26:02,011 --> 00:26:04,338 You fired Tony Gardner of when he was trying to request. 539 00:26:04,338 --> 00:26:07,818 I did. Major personal crisis averted. 540 00:26:07,818 --> 00:26:09,200 Complement accepted. 541 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:13,600 You realize Michael that now we have to pay him exuberance? 542 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:14,401 Yes 543 00:26:15,258 --> 00:26:16,353 You do 544 00:26:16,768 --> 00:26:19,692 But, do you realize that was actually Dwight��s idea? 545 00:26:19,692 --> 00:26:21,453 That is advice from my number two. 546 00:26:21,453 --> 00:26:25,413 What, no, no, no. No. Jim is your number two. 547 00:26:25,413 --> 00:26:26,209 What? 548 00:26:26,217 --> 00:26:28,481 He��s the only one who has worked for both group. 549 00:26:28,481 --> 00:26:30,531 So, I sent you a memo about this. 550 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,171 Yes, I know that, 551 00:26:33,171 --> 00:26:35,434 or I do read the memos. 552 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,034 So, after a great deal of thought and introspective-shun, 553 00:26:40,034 --> 00:26:44,223 I have decided to make Jim my new number two. 554 00:26:45,485 --> 00:26:47,087 If he even once said. 555 00:26:47,087 --> 00:26:48,373 It doesn��t come with pay raise. 556 00:26:48,373 --> 00:26:50,357 No, it does, actually. 557 00:26:51,453 --> 00:26:53,348 So, who will be your number three? 558 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,553 Ah, that I have not decided yet. 559 00:26:55,553 --> 00:26:57,482 Michael, I would just like to say that 560 00:26:57,482 --> 00:27:01,600 you have handled this entire situation with great Aplam. 561 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,332 Thank you, Andy. That��s very kind. Thank. 562 00:27:04,332 --> 00:27:06,899 And, I have to say that your leadership has ... 563 00:27:06,899 --> 00:27:09,273 Shhh, shut it. That��s... 564 00:27:11,703 --> 00:27:12,723 Suck up. 565 00:27:18,262 --> 00:27:20,335 Hey, where you at? 566 00:27:20,335 --> 00:27:25,099 I��m at the grocery store buying a cork screw to give myself lobotomy. 567 00:27:26,092 --> 00:27:27,801 What��s wrong. You didn��t have a good first day? 568 00:27:27,801 --> 00:27:31,800 Oh my god! Hey you want to meet in a Cooper's in an hour? 569 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,127 I need to drink. 570 00:27:33,127 --> 00:27:34,758 Yeah, sure. Sounds good. 571 00:27:34,758 --> 00:27:38,622 I... Hey, you know what. Can I call you right back? 572 00:27:38,622 --> 00:27:41,237 Yeah - Okay, thanks. - Okay 573 00:27:42,099 --> 00:27:42,837 Hey. 574 00:27:43,641 --> 00:27:44,142 Hey. 575 00:27:44,142 --> 00:27:46,665 I thought you had already left. 576 00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:50,207 Uh, no. I just had some other stuff I had to do. 577 00:27:50,207 --> 00:27:51,387 Ah, Good. 578 00:27:51,387 --> 00:27:52,428 What��s up? 579 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,175 Oh, nothing. I just feel bad. 580 00:27:54,175 --> 00:27:56,105 I feel like things were a little weird today or something. 581 00:27:56,105 --> 00:27:57,296 What do you mean? 582 00:27:58,778 --> 00:28:03,800 I just think I should tell you that I��ve sorta started seeing someone, and um... 583 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,478 Oh, that��s totally cool. 584 00:28:06,478 --> 00:28:08,115 You can do whatever you want. 585 00:28:09,198 --> 00:28:11,783 Oh? okay. Um... Good. 586 00:28:12,332 --> 00:28:13,862 We��re friends. 587 00:28:13,862 --> 00:28:15,280 We��ll always be friends. 588 00:28:16,131 --> 00:28:17,076 Right. 589 00:28:19,137 --> 00:28:20,247 It��s good to have you back. 590 00:28:20,247 --> 00:28:23,167 Yeah, it��s good to be back. 591 00:28:42,982 --> 00:28:44,151 Where did you get that salad? 592 00:28:44,992 --> 00:28:46,403 Staples. 593 00:28:51,423 --> 00:28:53,051 I saw your dorkmobile in the parking lot. 594 00:28:53,051 --> 00:28:54,432 What does it get, like four miles to the gallon? 595 00:28:54,432 --> 00:28:55,909 Uh, try double that. 596 00:28:55,909 --> 00:28:59,300 Classic Trans Am, vintage American muscle. Please. 597 00:28:59,300 --> 00:29:00,590 Yeah, my Xterra��s pretty sweet. 598 00:29:00,590 --> 00:29:03,747 Luxurious yet rugged. Leave it to the Japanese. 599 00:29:03,747 --> 00:29:05,700 Xterra��s not even a real word. 600 00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:08,400 Actually, it is. It��s Latin for ��earth.�� 601 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:09,944 Oh, so you drive an X-Earth? 602 00:29:09,944 --> 00:29:10,487 Yeah. 603 00:29:10,487 --> 00:29:11,347 That makes sense. 604 00:29:11,347 --> 00:29:15,839 I��d rather drive a classic Trans Am than an XEarth. 605 00:29:16,185 --> 00:29:17,565 Yeah, I bet you would. 606 00:29:17,565 --> 00:29:20,822 Oh, and by the way, 1985 called and wants its car back. 607 00:29:20,822 --> 00:29:24,000 Well I hope 1985 has a time machine ��cause I drive an 87. 608 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,315 Oh, speaking of time machines, 609 00:29:25,315 --> 00:29:26,610 I just got back from the future 610 00:29:26,610 --> 00:29:27,597 and I went to your funeral 611 00:29:27,597 --> 00:29:29,419 and guess what, nobody came. 612 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,453 Speaking of funerals, 613 00:29:31,453 --> 00:29:34,250 why don��t you go ahead and go die. 614 00:29:34,250 --> 00:29:38,964 Oh, that was a really well-constructed sentence. 615 00:29:38,964 --> 00:29:43,423 You should be an English professor at Cor-not University. 616 00:29:44,032 --> 00:29:45,400 Idiot! 617 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,695 If I were an idiot, I��d be driving a Trans Am. 618 00:29:47,695 --> 00:29:49,315 If you were driving a Trans Am, 619 00:29:49,315 --> 00:29:52,179 you would be the smartest idiot in the whole world. 620 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:54,923 Idiot! 621 00:29:56,254 --> 00:29:57,956 You��re the idiot! 622 00:29:57,956 --> 00:29:59,576 Nice comeback! 623 00:29:59,576 --> 00:30:02,073 I was making fun of your comeback! 624 00:30:02,073 --> 00:30:04,259 That��s why it worked. 625 00:30:06,793 --> 00:30:09,559 I totally got the best of that interchange. 47644