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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,240 I've put the deposit down, so we're all set. 2 00:00:02,290 --> 00:00:06,270 You're going to love it. Got a five-star review on Airbnb. 3 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:10,150 "Great house as described and much more. 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,650 - "Thanks for everything." - Is that a haiku? 5 00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:14,710 There's an apple tree in the garden, and there's bees. 6 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:15,910 Who else is coming? 7 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,390 - Well, I invited Amanda... - Oh! - .. because she's a single mum now, 8 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,030 and I thought she could do with the support over half-term. 9 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:23,920 Guys, no mum left behind! 10 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:26,950 And I think I invited Meg and her lot 11 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,190 when she got me tipsy on Pizza Friday, 12 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:30,430 but she hasn't confirmed yet. 13 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,590 Well, I'm going to have to do some work while I'm there. 14 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,350 - That's a shame. - No, it's a positive, Kevin. 15 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,870 That's the beauty of self-employment. 16 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,470 You can go on a holiday whenever you like, 17 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,190 you just have to lie to your client about it. 18 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,550 I'm bringing my tent. Can't afford to pay for an Airbnb. 19 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,030 Oh, no, no, no, you can still stay in the house. 20 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,710 There's this really comfy sofa in the lounge, 21 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,910 and, and, and there's a weighted blanket. 22 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,160 Trust me, I know what I'm doing. I'm sleeping outside with the bees. 23 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,630 - Hi, Anne. - Hiya. 24 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,110 So. 25 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,270 - Half-term here again. - Mmm. - Yes! 26 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,590 Any half-term plans? 27 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,310 Just staying loose. 28 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,190 We tried canoe club last half-term but, er, 29 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,440 Darius was a bit uncomfortable with the phrase "Eskimo roll", so... 30 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:16,920 It's a long week, half-term, when you don't have any plans. 31 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,230 - Right. Well, um, I'd better go. - We've rented a cottage 32 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,150 - in the countryside if you want to join us. - I'd love to, yes! Yeah. 33 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,720 - Yeah. - Yeah. 34 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,030 You can see by the details 35 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,630 that it's going to be pretty bloody heavenly, 36 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,750 and... and it's close to all these wonderful nature trails. 37 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,590 Nature trails? That lead to what? 38 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,150 I don't understand walking unless there's a pub at the end. 39 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,710 No, I can't do any walking. I've got an ingrown toenail. 40 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,430 It's started to penetrate the nail bed, so it can't physically heal, 41 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,750 so they're going to have to, um, dig right down 42 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,120 and cut it out at the root. 43 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,670 Is anyone else wet? 44 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:58,800 Oh! 45 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:00,630 Great news. Johnny's going to come with. 46 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:01,870 He's really excited. 47 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,830 That's the beauty of our arrangement because it's in no way acrimonious. 48 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:06,630 We can just spend time together as people, 49 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,710 rather than, you know, the local power couple. 50 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:11,430 Er, so I've done, er, a bit of research 51 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:16,070 and neither Sainsbury's, Tesco, Ocado, 52 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,550 Lidl, Aldi, Morrisons, 53 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,550 Budgens or Asda, er, deliver to where we're staying, 54 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,710 so I thought everybody could be in charge of bringing something. 55 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:30,430 Keep it fair. So I made a list. Er... 56 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,270 Er, Julia -- booze. 57 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,670 Er, breakfast-y stuff -- Amanda. 58 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,910 I'd actually love to do treaty bits and prestige items -- 59 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,510 - your blinis, your sour cream, your lumpfish caviar. - OK! 60 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,110 - Er, Liz, Liz, you can do breakfast. - Weetabix. 61 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:48,030 - Anne, you can do dried goodies and vegetables. - Yes! 62 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,390 Um, and I'll do the dinner on the first night. 63 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:54,830 Great. Great. Er, and, er, I'll be doing the meat. 64 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,910 Meg, any news on whether you can make it? 65 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,870 I was supposed to be speaking at the Oxford Union 66 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:02,710 but I'm going to try to wangle my way out. 67 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,110 If I CAN finangle it, I'll bring the beans. 68 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,710 Er, well, I'm doing dried goods so, um, I think that'll include tins. 69 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,470 No, the beans. 70 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,120 The smarties. The vowels. 71 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,960 She's bringing the drugs, Anne! 72 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,310 I just don't see why you had to cycle, Paul. 73 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:21,750 It's 102 miles away. 74 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,150 Yeah, which is half the distance I'm going to have to do 75 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,510 on the actual day. 76 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,950 Look, I'm just getting healthy, 77 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,830 or would you rather I died of a heart attack? 78 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,310 No, I'd just rather you ate less bacon 79 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,470 and just around more on a Saturday and Sunday morning. 80 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,430 Er, I'd like to see you do a triathlon. 81 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,230 Oh, my God. It's running, swimming and riding a bike. 82 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,030 It's what children spend all summer holidays doing. 83 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,430 That'd be like me spending my weekends learning to fly a kite. 84 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,710 Oh, hey, um, if you stop at a supermarket, 85 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,350 could you get me some aqueous cream? 86 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,590 I'm already chafed, and I haven't even hit Oxford yet. 87 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,930 Yeah, yeah, I'm going to stop at one nearer the house and do a big shop. 88 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:53,990 Oh. 89 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:58,150 Hold on, I've got a client calling. I'll see you later, love, yeah? 90 00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,950 Julia, it's Karen from Blossom. 91 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,150 - Karen, hi. Lovely... - Yeah, great talking. 92 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,790 Is this a good moment to catch up, or..? 93 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,030 - You can talk? - Yeah, I'm just about to step into my off... 94 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,710 Free to hook up on Friday? Would that work? 95 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,990 - Friday? I need to check my iCal. - Great. Shall we do that? 96 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,070 - Could you pop it all in an e-mail? - I'm doing it now. 97 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,030 - That's not a problem at all. That's fine. - Great. 98 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,150 - Well, I will respond ASA... - Yeah, why don't we...? 99 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,710 Sorry, can I just finish a sentence? 100 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,110 - P. ASAP. - OK. Yeah, well, let's talk then. 101 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,520 - Bye. - Right, lovely to speak to you. - Bye, Julia. 102 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,640 Sorry, kids. I just need to pull over and read an e-mail. 103 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,190 Friday, Friday, Friday. 104 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,390 Oh, feck, I'm having my toenail done. 105 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:33,790 - I'm hungry. - Yes, I know. - Me, too. 106 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,510 I know, I know, darling. I've just got to send one quick message. 107 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:41,600 Just one... one e-mail, and then we will be on our... way. 108 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,600 Great. OK. Off we go, tiddly-ho! 109 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,150 Liz, Liz, can you give me a hand with this pig? 110 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,870 Oh, is that what it is? A pig coffin? 111 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,910 You see people driving down motorways with them all the time. 112 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,030 I had no idea they were full of animal carcasses. 113 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,630 No, no, no, this is the boar for the Saturday night feast. 114 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,430 I'm doing a pig in a pit. 115 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,790 - Is that like boil in a bag? - It's an event meal. 116 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,070 It's deceptively simple. 117 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,630 All you need is a whole pig -- got. 118 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,270 Some breeze blocks -- got. 119 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,830 - Ooh, here we are. - Some banana leaves or substitute. 120 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:17,550 Some leather gloves -- had them already. 121 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,630 And a 12-20 foot chain. 122 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:24,750 Right, come on, kids. Oh, Kevin, you didn't say Jill was coming. 123 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,190 It's perfect. 124 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,910 - Oh, God. - What? 125 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,950 I've written I can't make a meeting on Friday 126 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,720 cos I'm going into a hospice... to a client. 127 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,990 Bloomin' auto correct. 128 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,110 I meant to write I'm going into hospital. 129 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,510 No bars. 130 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,470 OK, guys, guys, guys. 131 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,830 Um, I put the deposit down, and I'd love to get it back. 132 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,550 Er, so, er... 133 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,310 I just need to take you through a few house rules. 134 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,310 So, er, no red wine on the sofa. 135 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,710 No shoes upstairs. 136 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,230 Um, luckily most of the ornaments have been nailed down but, um, 137 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,190 - do be careful. - And, um... 138 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:12,230 Oh, yes, yes, don't flush anything too chunky down the loo. 139 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:13,390 Do you hear that, Anne? 140 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,590 Er, why is there only one toilet? I have IBS. 141 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,470 I need my own toilet. 142 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,190 Kevin, what's the Wi-Fi code? 143 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,440 Er, I'm not sure, but I'll look as soon as we're settled in. 144 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,670 Some tricky news. 145 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,670 Um, I had a quick scout earlier, 146 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,390 and there's one less bedroom than I thought. 147 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,230 But, um, but Meg hasn't got back to any of the WhatsApps, 148 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,910 so I'm 99% sure she's not coming. 149 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,270 - Who gets the double? - Er, Amanda bagsied it. 150 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,470 Amanda bagsied? When was the bagsying? 151 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,390 - No-one told me about a bagsying window. - Well, Johnny's coming. 152 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,240 Oh, did I not say? He can't come now. 153 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,750 It's fine. He got a last minute ticket to The Lemonheads reunion gig 154 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,510 in Glasgow tomorrow night, so he's going to make a weekend of it. 155 00:06:58,560 --> 00:06:59,590 Lucky git. 156 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,350 - Fine. We'll just paper, scissor, stone. - No! 157 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:07,110 Can we not? I'm just not ready to sleep in a single bed yet. 158 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,430 It's too raw. Kevin, this light's not working. 159 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,630 - Kevin, the heat's not coming on. - Er, okey dokey. 160 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,030 Well, it's not my house but, er... 161 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,750 Kevin, what's happening with the Wi-Fi? 162 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,870 Just doesn't seem to be any bars. 163 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,760 God's sake, we are in Great Britain. 164 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:22,510 Voi-fuckin'-la. 165 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,030 You still have to peg it down, you know, or it'll move. 166 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,190 So what? 167 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,750 Go to sleep in one place, wake up some place else. 168 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,470 That's the joy of camping, isn't it? 169 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,870 Put that down. You don't know where it's been. 170 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,390 - It's been on the tree, Anne. - Yeah, well, I don't trust fruit 171 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,280 that's not from one of the big three supermarkets, so... 172 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,470 Um, do you want me to leave the bath water in, Amanda, for your guys? 173 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,870 Oh, you're being serious. No, thank you. 174 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,070 - I'm just going to let them chill for a bit. - OK, cool. 175 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,350 It's just that I'm putting mine to bed now, you know, 176 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,200 - because it is 8.30. - Yeah. Sure. Whatever you like. 177 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,710 Why is Amanda not putting her kids to bed? 178 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,110 You know, I want adult time. 179 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,150 I didn't drive 102 miles to spend the evening 180 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,670 with that nine-year-old bell-end. 181 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,110 Just get some wine down you and they'll disappear. 182 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:13,550 I haven't got it yet. I didn't pass a shop on the way in. 183 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:14,630 What? 184 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,830 Well, I'll pop out now. There'll be a supermarket round here somewhere. 185 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,510 Sorry, did someone say there's no wine? 186 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,150 Yes, I'm going to go out now and get it. 187 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,750 There won't be anywhere open now, Julia. It's the countryside, 188 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,800 - and there are no shops for miles. - Well... 189 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,830 - .. what?! - Right, kids are in bed. 190 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:33,750 - I need a drink. - There's no booze. 191 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,760 What are you fucking talking about?! 192 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,870 Right, here are our choices. 193 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,590 The Golden Child, The Fisher King, Lorenzo's Oil, 194 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,990 Hot Shots! Part Deux or 9½ Weeks. 195 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,190 Ooh, I've not seen 9½ Weeks. 196 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,470 What's that about? 197 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,270 She's nine-and-a-half weeks pregnant, but they're still banging. 198 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,470 - Kevin. - Right, yeah, sorry. 199 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,790 Er, W, capital W, small L, nine, 200 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,950 N capital, N lower-case, four, 201 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,910 one, capital L, seven, three, J -- 202 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,630 Small J -- capital P, B lower-case, 203 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,870 N capital, T capital. 204 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,600 OK. Got it, thank you. 205 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,670 It's not working, Kevin. 206 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,550 - Well, I don't know what to do, then. - Well, just read it out again! 207 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,230 W, capital W, small L... 208 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,190 Supper's ready. 209 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,470 I'm just going to go to bed, actually, Anne. 210 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,110 Guys, will you get in your jim-jams? 211 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,070 Um, but I made a machboos rubyan. 212 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,990 - A what? - Um, it's Ottolenghi. 213 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,670 It's a Persian dish with, um, cumin and cardamom, 214 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,350 and then we have, um, a burnt miso butterscotch with, er, 215 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:40,790 fresh pomegranate. 216 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,990 Um, and then, like, I don't know how to pronounce it, 217 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,670 but it's basically like a walnut salsa. 218 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,310 - What's the point without wine? - We have Sprite. 219 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:52,710 You can't drink Sprite with machboos rubyan, Anne. Anne. 220 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,710 I might hit the groundsheet myself. 221 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,030 Oh, yes, I think I might actually as well. 222 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,120 They won't read it now, will they? On a Friday night. 223 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:04,390 - I'll send it tomorrow. - Yeah, we can have it in sandwiches. 224 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,480 What? 225 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,470 Why the hell are you all in bed? It's only 9.30. 226 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:33,070 We're all a bit plum tuckered, really, after the drive, and... 227 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,910 - Well, Julia didn't bring any booze, so... - There's no booze? 228 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,310 Right, I'm going to bed. Where's our room? 229 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,470 I'll go and get the bags. 230 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:44,720 Come on, girls. 231 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,310 Honestly, it's absolutely fine. 232 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,200 Sofa's perfect for me. 233 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,720 Ooh. Ow. 234 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,630 Ow! 235 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:20,360 There's a pubic in the sink! 236 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,190 What are you doing?! 237 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:35,760 It's half past five. 238 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,830 I'm digging an imu. 239 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:39,990 It's a Hawaiian word. 240 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:43,190 It's the name they give a pit to cook the pig in. 241 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:44,790 It's going to take about ten hours, 242 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:48,470 so I need to get a wriggle on if we're going to have it for supper. 243 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,070 Do you... do you fancy helping? 244 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,510 This is my only bloody holiday of the year, Kev! 245 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,560 I'm not digging a pig pit. I'm going back to bed! 246 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,800 - All right? - Hey. 247 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,550 Oh, my God, have you heard that? 248 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,710 Amanda's been blow-drying since six o'clock this morning. 249 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,510 How is it possible there are any hairs left to blow? 250 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:38,970 I always thought it was a wig. 251 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,910 Oh, thank God for that. 252 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,670 Do you know, this whole thing is a nightmare, actually, Liz? 253 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,070 I can't get the Wi-Fi to work, so I still can't send my e-mail. 254 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,550 What's the big bloody deal?! 255 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:51,830 Because it's a potentially huge meeting with a massive client, Liz. 256 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,310 That is why, and I've just sent an e-mail saying to them 257 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,470 that I'm going into a hospice. They think I'm dying. 258 00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,270 Maybe they'll give you the job cos they think you're terminally ill. 259 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,390 God, I don't want to have to fake my own death because of a typo. 260 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,510 I faked my own death once. 261 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:07,630 Only way I could get out of my TalkTalk contract. 262 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,150 Morning, ladies. 263 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,870 How was everyone's night? 264 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,150 Very good. 265 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,590 You know it's true that if you, um, do forego alcohol, 266 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,510 - you do feel much better the next morning. - Yeah! 267 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:20,230 I know what you mean. You're still going to get some later, though, 268 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,870 - aren't you? - Straight after breakfast. 269 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,470 Kev! 270 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,870 Kev! 271 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,390 KEV! 272 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,230 Where's the frying pan? 273 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,150 It's not my house. 274 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,520 I don't know where. 275 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,390 Goodness, it's... it's there, Liz. 276 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,550 Won't be long. 277 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,030 Oh, OK, no worries. 278 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,160 Take your time. 279 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,350 You couldn't slide me under a magazine, Kev? 280 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,870 All right, kids, breakfast! 281 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,630 Oh, look at you, all super glam. 282 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:08,230 - When's Johnny getting down? - Oh, did I not say? 283 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,150 He can't make it now. I know. It's fine. 284 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,070 He got last minute tickets for The Lemonheads reunion gig 285 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,510 in Glasgow tonight, so he's going to make a weekend of it. 286 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,230 Lucky git. 287 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,150 - I'm sorry to hear that, babe. - Why are you sorry? 288 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,720 Babe... It's fine. I mean, we just, um... 289 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:24,920 .. do our own thing. 290 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,790 I need to sort my hair out. I am a mess. 291 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,360 Well, my hair... my hair is a mess. 292 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,230 Nice pig, Kev. 293 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,470 Thank you. 294 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,870 I reckon it's going to take at least a day to cook a pig that size. 295 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,110 I don't think so. 296 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,750 Says on the internet ten hours should do it. 297 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,430 Might have been a good idea to dig down another foot or so 298 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,320 if you're relying on locking in that heat. 299 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,510 I think it's all under control. Thank you, Bill. 300 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,390 Kevin. Will you come in and look at your toilet? 301 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,910 It's not MY toilet. 302 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,520 And I've really gotta get on with this pig, Amanda. 303 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,510 This is really setting me back. 304 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:20,640 I feel like Rahul in the Bake Off final when that glass jar exploded. 305 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,630 Bet you've dug a few pig pits in your time, Mandy. 306 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,830 It's Amanda, but, no. 307 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,590 I'm basically practically a vegetarian. 308 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,150 I mean, I'll eat this pig cos Kevin's gone to a lot of trouble, 309 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,910 and when I go to Cecconi's, I'll have the veal carpaccio 310 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,150 cos it's genius, but, um, yeah, I'm really almost vegan, really. 311 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,430 Your body is your temple. 312 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:42,560 Stop. 313 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,640 Yeah, a temple that's been desecrated by two kids. 314 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,270 You should see me naked. 315 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,080 Sorry. 316 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,390 I don't know why I said that. 317 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:02,490 Morning, Anne. 318 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,990 I can't use that toilet. 319 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,800 I WON'T use that toilet. 320 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,480 Toilet's unblocked now, Amanda. 321 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,550 Guys, guys, we didn't drive all this way to have you watch Moana indoors. 322 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,430 Can you get outside and play, please? 323 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,590 Kevin, I don't like people telling my kids what to do. 324 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:24,670 No, I was just trying... 325 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,350 The only people who can tell my kids what to do are me and their father, 326 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,710 - and their teacher. - And the police, I hope. - Oh, my God! 327 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,870 How can there be no Wi-Fi in the whole of this county?! 328 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,350 I mean, we're not in a Dingley Dell! 329 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,350 I just got everything the little shop had. 330 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,910 So a bottle of Cava, three dusty bottles of rose, 331 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:45,830 a litre of Diamond White and... this is Schnapps or de-icer. 332 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:49,080 - What's the news on the Wi-Fi, Kevin? - It's not my house! 333 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,880 - Anne? - Don't look at me. 334 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:21,710 OK, guys, er, pasta twists or bows? Who wants bows? 335 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,110 Why give them choice? Now you've got to cook two separate pots 336 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,960 of two different-but-taste-the-same bloody pastas. 337 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,510 I want my pudding first. 338 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,550 Manus. 339 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,230 OK. Sweetheart, would you pass that to Manus? 340 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,790 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 341 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,590 - What? - Well, if Manus has his pudding first, 342 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,550 they're all going to want their pudding first. 343 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,880 Well, not necessarily. Just be firm with your kids, Julia. 344 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,430 Ah, this is the life, eh, people? 345 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,110 God, this is what I always imagined being a mum would be like. 346 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,950 You know, watching your kids gambolling round the countryside, 347 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,190 sharing a bottle of rose with my friends. 348 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,230 Life is very, very stressful. 349 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,590 We don't appreciate what we have, which is nuts, really, 350 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,510 cos I've got everything I could possibly want. 351 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,240 Apart from bloody Wi-Fi. 352 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,320 Kev, you got a wine cooler? 353 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,790 It's not my house. 354 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,630 Oh, guys! 355 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,470 Guys, no trampoline today. 356 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,430 Manus hurt his arm on the trampoline yesterday, 357 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,150 so no trampoline for anyone today. 358 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,750 Well, my kids can go on the trampoline. 359 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,070 Well, how's that going to work? 360 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:27,750 Because if Manus sees your kids going on, 361 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:28,870 he's going to want to go on. 362 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,150 Just need to be firm with your kid, Amanda. 363 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,120 I want to go on the trampoline! 364 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,800 I want to go on the trampoline! 365 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,550 Oh, thanks, Bill. 366 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,990 - Pleasure. - Are you cold, Amanda? 367 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:51,190 - Oh, no. - No, no, take my jacket. - Oh. Oh, no. Oh. 368 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,390 Thank you. Oh, that's so nice. 369 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,400 Thank you. Thanks, Bill. 370 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,190 Such a nice guy. 371 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,390 Kind of flirty, though. Don't you think? 372 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:02,470 He doesn't flirt with me. 373 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,390 Yeah, course, but he's seriously flirting with me. 374 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,950 A bit awks with his wife here. 375 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,870 So, when we going to get our nosh, then, Kev? 376 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:12,310 Well, it took a little longer to dig than I'd planned but, um, 377 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,670 I got it on the coals at 10am, so hopefully by 8pm, 378 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,470 it should be, er, cooked to perfection. 379 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,720 I'll have a portion of that shepherd's pieness, Your Highness. 380 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:25,760 Sod it. 381 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,350 - How you doing? - Very well, thank you. 382 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,950 You on, er, holiday here, then? 383 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,430 Er, no, um, I'm an archaeologist. 384 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:37,880 That's my Neolithic pig pit. 385 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,110 - What's your name? - Emily Bronte. 386 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,190 - Yours? - Sam. 387 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,470 They your sheep, then, Sam Shepherd? 388 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:45,710 They are, yeah. 389 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,910 Don't think I've ever been on a farm before. 390 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,510 What's that? 391 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,270 That's a, er, cattle grid. 392 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,950 What's that? 393 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,230 - It's a trough. - God, you're good. 394 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:01,120 Oh, God, she's not hitting on the farmhand, is she? 395 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,640 How embarrassing. 396 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,990 Naughty. 397 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,950 Bill, you're going to get me drunk. 398 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,550 - Well, why not? - Thank you. 399 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,030 Tina Turner, yes, yes! Um... 400 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,390 Next one, next one. 401 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,230 - Um, OK, OK, OK. Er, he's, he's Catholic. He's Catholic. - Pope! 402 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,800 - The Pope. - Yes! Yes! - Yes! 403 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,870 Um, er, um... I think he's a footballer. 404 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,110 - David Beckham. David Beckham. - Er, no. No, no, no. 405 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,590 No, no. Er, er... He could also be, a... a Mr Men character. 406 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,710 - Huh? - Er, he's untidy. He's untidy. - David Beckham. 407 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,350 Er, I think he plays for Spain or Italy. 408 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,550 - Messi! - Yes! 409 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,350 Er, um. Er, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK. 410 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,870 Um, um... Young woman. Er, young girl. 411 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,830 - Um, er... - Likes school. - Hannah Montana? 412 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,030 - Time's up. - Oh, no! 413 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,790 Malala. It's Malala. 414 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,070 Oh. 415 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,110 Who wrote Messi? That was... that was a toughie. 416 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,830 Oh, I did. That was me, yeah. You said it could be anyone, so I... 417 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,270 Right, my turn. 418 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,870 Keep our minds off the hunger. 419 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:06,630 - Um... OK. - You sure you don't want to join our team? - No. 420 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,120 OK, are we ready? And go. 421 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,510 Oh, OK. Um... 422 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:17,910 - Brexit. Er, sort of doughy faced, heavy smoker, bigot. - Oh. 423 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,870 - Oh, oh, oh, oh. Nigel Farage? - You're not on their team, Kevin. 424 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,430 - Oh, I meant... I meant Boris Johnson. - We're taking the point. 425 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,950 Um, right, um... You've all heard of her. 426 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,790 The Queen. 427 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,350 Kind of. Joke. 428 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,630 Um, you would know her as an entrepreneur. 429 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,350 Oh, oh, um, your one off Dragons' Den. 430 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,230 - No. - Er, er, Meaden. Deborah Meaden. 431 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,110 No! Guys, listen. 432 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,630 Think taller, slimmer, younger. 433 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,910 I'd say she looks early to mid-thirties. 434 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,590 - She's a mother. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, um, um... 435 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,350 - Yeah. - Er... 436 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,070 No, sorry. Sorry. Go on, go on. 437 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:50,910 Um... She's really creative. 438 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,750 She's really likeable. 439 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,550 Um... 440 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,510 - She's everyone's friend. - Lorraine Kelly? 441 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,360 - How's that early to mid-thirties, Anne? - Time's up! - Oh. 442 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,750 It was me. Obviously. 443 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,080 Wow, who put that in? 444 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,040 That's the last of it. 445 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,070 - Where are you going, cheeky chops? - Nowhere. Back in a minute. 446 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,670 Kevin, it's almost ten. This is getting ridiculous. 447 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,880 Oh, yeah, yeah, yes, no, I was just about to check on the pig now. 448 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,870 Ah, I owe you one. 449 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,150 Good to know. 450 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,270 Fancy coming over for a game of Guess The Twat? 451 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,830 Ah, I can't. I've got to keep a clear head. It's lambing season. 452 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,590 Oh, well, that's not an excuse I've heard before. Fair play. 453 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,030 Hey, er, you don't want to come back later, though, do you, 454 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,550 - by any chance? - Oh, 'fraid not. 455 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,990 That kind of thing never really works out for me. 456 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,950 If I come back, I'll just find out you're really a dick. 457 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,040 Or worse still, I'll come back and find out I really like you. 458 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,400 Either way, it'll end in tears. 459 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,790 Er, so, um, pig update. 460 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:03,110 All looking good, though it is still a little raw. 461 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,550 Er, but I... I promise you it will be worth the wait. 462 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,150 We could eat the veg on its own while we're waiting. 463 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,630 Or Anne, Anne, do you fancy whipping up another little, um, 464 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,790 um, machyon boochyo, or... or, you know...? 465 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,150 Oh, Gordon Bennett. 466 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,470 Let's get this party started. 467 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,190 Oh, God, I've been working so hard. 468 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,310 Now bloody bastard auto-correct has sabotaged 469 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,830 the only opportunity I have. It doesn't even make sense. 470 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,230 Kev, what gives with the pig, mate?! 471 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,790 We're all wankered because we've been drinking fire-water 472 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,150 on an empty stomach! 473 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,150 Well, sorry, but it'll be ready when it's ready. 474 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,350 Mandy, get out your treaty bits. 475 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,870 - We're starving! - All the prestige items have been eaten. 476 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,990 - What?! - I wasn't expecting to supplement the lack of meat. 477 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,670 Anne just brought a couple of bags of lentils, 478 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,720 and no-one's pointing any fingers at her. 479 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,110 Shut up. Shut up! 480 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,750 Shut the hell up! 481 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,030 - Are you all right, Kev? - No, no, I'm not all right! 482 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,190 I can't stand it any more! 483 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,190 I... I've been turning myself inside out 484 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,430 to make the perfect weekend for you all. 485 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,150 None of you are grateful. 486 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,350 This is my holiday too, and I've spent my whole time 487 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:26,670 running around after you lot like I'm your personal concierge! 488 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,030 I'm... I'm trying to do an event meal! 489 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,470 Something... something special! 490 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,360 I'm just... I'm just trying to make an effort! 491 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:37,800 We're just hungry, Kevin. 492 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,120 OW, OW! 493 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:08,640 Oh... 494 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,630 - I'm done. I'm off to bang a shepherd. - Oh, my God. 495 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,910 What? What's that face for? 496 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,430 What do you think, Liz? 497 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,350 We're in the middle of dealing with a crisis, 498 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:26,310 and your response is to have sex with a farmhand in a tent? 499 00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:28,630 I was actually going to do it in his caravan. 500 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,550 Desperate. 501 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,110 - What did you say? - Just said what we're all thinking, Liz. 502 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,310 What do you care who I sleep with? 503 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,870 My kids are asleep, his sheep are asleep. 504 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,590 Just cos Johnny chose Evan Dando over you. 505 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,550 - Oh, please. - So you end up spending the whole weekend 506 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,550 putting the moves on poor old Bill. 507 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,030 Bill has been flirting with me. 508 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,910 - I've practically had to bat him off, actually, Liz. - Oh, yeah, right. 509 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,510 It's been quite embarrassing. Meg, I'm sorry, but it's the truth. 510 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:54,600 OK? 511 00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,990 I told Bill to pay you a bit of attention 512 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,350 because I felt sorry for you. With Johnny not coming, 513 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,760 I asked him to make you feel a bit special. That's all. 514 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:13,840 Here's your pig! You selfish bitches! 515 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,910 And Bill! 516 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,390 Oh! Ooh, oh! 517 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,870 - What have you done to Anne, Kevin? - Ooh! Ah! 518 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,070 - Look at her. - Anne, Anne. 519 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:25,950 What's wrong? 520 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,230 We... we'd better get her to hospital. 521 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,590 - Anne? - What? - We need to take her to the hospital, she's... 522 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,590 - Are you OK? - I'll come. I'm there. I'll come. 523 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:36,510 Oh, my God. I'm absolutely hammered, Kevin. 524 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,430 I can't drive! 525 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:39,870 You'll have to drive, Kevin. 526 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,070 I've only got my provisional licence. 527 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:43,470 I'm extremely drunk. 528 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,430 We're all wankered, Julia. 529 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,390 Well, who's going to drive?! 530 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,190 How can there not be any signal here? 531 00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,630 I mean, what if they need to call an ambulance or something? 532 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,880 - Are you with Anne Flynn? - Yes. - You can go on through now. - Thank you. 533 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,910 - Hi, Anne. - Hi. - Poor old you, Anne. 534 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,830 Did they give you something for your IBS? 535 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,030 Er, no, it's... it's not that. 536 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,310 What is it, then? 537 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:17,030 Oh, turns out I'm five months pregnant. 538 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,630 Oh, my God, Anne! You're joking! 539 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,390 No. Just had a dose of, er, acute acid reflux, but... 540 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,270 Oh, my God, I've got signal. 4G! 541 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,790 - Oh, God, it didn't even send, Kevin! - Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh. 542 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,350 It didn't even send, Kevin. 543 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,590 It is sitting in the outbox. Thank God. 544 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,830 Ooh! 545 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:50,070 Seems a shame leaving a day early, but I... I should get back 546 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,990 - and break the news to Chris. - Come on, girls. - Yeah. 547 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,030 Yeah, I've had my fill of the countryside anyway. 548 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,350 Should get back to Paul as well. 549 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,750 Apparently he's come off his bike at Bicester village 550 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,630 - and actually lost a kneecap. - Eugh! 551 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,400 Hands up who's banged a shepherd? 552 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,950 - That's free wool for the rest of my life. - I get free wool. 553 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,310 I did a bit of work for the New Zealand Tourist Board. 554 00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:11,030 Well, that's that, then. 555 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:14,590 - I re-buried the pig. - Looks like a shallow grave. 556 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:15,680 Oh, God. 557 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,030 Hope that doesn't affect my guest review. 558 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,190 Who cares? We're never going to be back here anyway. 559 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:22,440 Come on, kiddies. 560 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,750 Hi! Hello. I'm just driving to a meeting in Central London. 561 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:37,590 - Go ahead. - Oh, I won't keep you, Julia. 562 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,910 Um, listen, thank you for your e-mail, 563 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,910 - and, um, the many, um... - Uh-huh. - .. caveat e-mails, 564 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:44,830 but, um, listen, we're all big fans here, 565 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,230 but I've had a chat with the team, and, unfortunately, 566 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,150 the contract's not going to go your way this time. 567 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,110 What? 568 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,790 Yeah. 569 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,160 Even though I'm dying? 45131

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