All language subtitles for Motherland - 02x03 - Mothers Load.webDL.English.edit.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:02,800 And we usually upload photos to the app at lunchtime, 2 00:00:02,850 --> 00:00:04,250 so you can see what he's up to. 3 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,000 - All right, see you. - Yay! 4 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,950 Not even a kiss goodbye. Look at him. 5 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,910 Happy as a pig in shit. 6 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,350 Well, that's that, then. 7 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,950 Free at last. 8 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:16,990 Got my days back. 9 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,070 Woohoo! 10 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:21,190 You can leave the buggy in the lean-to by the front gate. 11 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:24,510 Oh, it's fine, I'll take it with. Stinks of Wotsits and vomit. 12 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,870 Honestly, it saves you having to go back for it at pick-up. 13 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,950 No, it's fine, I keep everything in the hood. I've got my keys in there, 14 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,110 antihistamines, usually a bit of toast. 15 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:36,510 - Look, let me put it in for... - Get off my bloody buggy, OK? 16 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,670 It's my buggy, so if I want to take this buggy back with me, 17 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:40,950 that's what I'm going to do, 18 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,030 because it's my buggy and I know what's best for it, all right? 19 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:45,120 Come on, buggy. 20 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,030 - Yes, what? - Hiya, I just had a text from Evans Cycles 21 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,790 saying they're delivering my new bike sometime between now and 7pm. 22 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,510 Can you sign for it? 23 00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,110 Paul, I am not a doorman. 24 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,830 I'm working from home. Working. I've just wasted the best part 25 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,310 of the morning queuing at the effing Post Office trying to return 26 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,950 those cycling shorts with the puffy bum that you didn't like. 27 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,390 Just sign for it, Julia? 28 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,350 Just sign for it, Julia. 29 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,030 What are you doing, Paul? 30 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:17,390 Oh, Ricky's punishing me because I didn't stretch probably yesterday. 31 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,750 Who's Ricky? Why aren't you at work?! 32 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,550 I just nipped out of the office for an hour's triathlon training. 33 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,070 Don't worry, I'm going to work late tonight to make up for it. 34 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,350 Oh, that's brilliant! 35 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,670 I'm so happy for you! 36 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,830 Oh, hey, did you give any more thought to letting the cleaner go 37 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,040 now you're going to be at home all the time? 38 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,510 Yes, hi, I've left the door open. 39 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,470 It looks shut, but it's actually open. 40 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,590 It's just propped shut with a crock. 41 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,110 - You have to sign for it. - Huh? 42 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,110 - You have to sign for it. - You can just forge my signature. 43 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:05,350 It's Julia, it's just Julia with a big... 44 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,120 God's sake. 45 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,990 - Yo? - Is that Ivy's mum? 46 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:36,590 - No. - I've got Ivy here. She appears not to have her lunch. 47 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:39,750 She says she can't remember if she ate it on the way to school 48 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,070 or left it in the car. 49 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,030 Yes, well, I'm at work. I'm working so... 50 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,270 If I was a surgeon, would you call me in theatre? 51 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:46,750 Are you a surgeon? 52 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,470 I think you know full well that I'm not a surgeon, Mrs Lamb, 53 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,510 I work in fast-moving luxury goods, FMLG. 54 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,590 Can she share your sandwich with you? 55 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,590 I'm having a naked burrito. 56 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:57,790 Well, then can she...? 57 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,430 - No, she can't. - Can I Deliveroo? 58 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:01,720 Hello? 59 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:15,950 - Yes? - Package for Paul Johnstone? - Yeah, no, just put it in the bin. 60 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,870 - What? - Just put it in the bin. 61 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,560 - Thank you. - Yeah, I need you to sign for it. 62 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,070 Oi, Julia. I'm no Zaha Hadid 63 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,480 - but your chimney's looking a bit dodge. - What? 64 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,630 Oh, God! Oh, yeah. 65 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,110 OK, well, I'll just, um, shimmy up the drainpipe and have 66 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,950 a little look at that. Thank God I have a City & Guilds in chimneys. 67 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,110 - What's wrong with you? - No, it's just I... 68 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,350 I've got a lot of work to do 69 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,190 and I've done nothing. I have done nothing! 70 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,470 No, not nothing, I've done everything but my work. 71 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,230 - Mother's load, mate. - Huh? 72 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,670 All the shit that we have to deal with that no other twat does. 73 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,830 It's full-time and it's unquantifiable. 74 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,470 - You've got to dump your mother's load. - How... How do I do that? 75 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,270 Well, I flew my mother over from Guadeloupe 76 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,950 so my mother's load is literally my mother's load. 77 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,350 No, I can't tempt my mother up from Leatherhead. 78 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,070 So, that's not going to... That's not... 79 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,630 Well, then just don't make yourself available. Get out the house, babe. 80 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,710 If you're not there then they can't ask you to do anything. 81 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:11,590 Yeah, where you parked? 82 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,790 Seriously, though, sort that chimney out. 83 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,150 I can see it from my bog and it's messing with my OCD. 84 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,920 Yeah, I'm just around the corner. 85 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,510 So, how much do we need to raise for the goalposts? 86 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,230 Well, what about the girls? 87 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:25,790 What about their sporting needs? 88 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,190 There was this terrific tampons ad on recently. 89 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,870 I don't know whether you saw it. 90 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,310 It was all about how girls can do anything boys can, 91 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,750 including karate. 92 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,150 I thought that was a no-go on your periods 93 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,230 because of the white trousers, but apparently not any more. 94 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,030 There's a girls football team now, Kevin, since the start of term. 95 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:47,430 Oh, right. Sorry, I missed that. New job's a bit all-consuming. 96 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,670 There's a queue of punters outside your shop, Amanda. 97 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,310 Looking for candle cages? 98 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,230 - Oh, my God. Anne, can you go check? - Yeah. 99 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,270 As if. 100 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,150 - What have I missed? - Fundraising for the new goalposts. 101 00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,870 The kids have done their self-portraits 102 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,550 and we're going to print them on tea towels 103 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,350 - and sell them to ourselves. - Course you are. 104 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,670 Right, so we need a volunteer to get them printed. As a working mother, 105 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,270 I obviously can't do it cos I've just launched my new venture, 106 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,350 and as a working mother, 107 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,390 it's impossible to be in three places at once. 108 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,230 Well, Charlie's at school and Max has just started nursery, 109 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:18,190 so I'm definitely not doing it. 110 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,110 Julia, are you coming to join us? 111 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,670 No, I'm not here. Don't look at me. I'm working. 112 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,270 I need to grab the table with the plug. 113 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,630 A flat white and the code for the Wi-Fi, please. 114 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,750 Yeah, it's Emilio Estevez, all one word, all lower case, 115 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,870 apart from the Z which is a five, 116 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,430 and all the I's are exclamation marks. 117 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,190 All right, so who's going to do the tea towel thing, then? 118 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:42,030 Anyone? Guys...? 119 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,150 This is normally the thing I love doing, but it's a bit tricky now 120 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,990 with the old nine-to-five. 121 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,670 Come on! Guys, I know, ask a busy person and all that, 122 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,270 but I'm close to a nervous exhaustion breakdown. 123 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:54,600 OK? 124 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:57,390 Anyone? 125 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,830 Don't be a martyr, Kev. You've got enough on your plate. 126 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,750 - Who's going to be a hero? - I guess I could do... - Thanks, K-Dog. 127 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:07,150 It's fine, honestly. I can scan the pictures at work. 128 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,720 - Kevin. - Oh. 129 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:13,150 Oh! Look at them all. 130 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:17,320 - Oh, that one's a bit... - He will definitely start killing cats soon. 131 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,350 Yeah, there was no-one there. Yeah, I think it was a joke. 132 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,990 - I think Liz was pulling your leg. - YOUR leg, Anne. 133 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,750 Oh, that's really sweet. 134 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,150 Johnny's coming over for Thursday night. 135 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,470 We laugh, we're like Taylor and Burton. 136 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,280 Bet we get bloody married again. 137 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:43,190 Right, I'm offskis -- interviewing an assistant today. 138 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,070 I just have no time any more. 139 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,590 First moment I stopped yesterday after breakfast was 1pm for lunch. 140 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:49,870 What did you have for lunch? 141 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,310 And I have to fit in my PT sessions somehow. 142 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,190 I haven't had my roots done in weeks. 143 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,600 I'm literally going to seed here, people! 144 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,390 - Oh, no, you look great. - Yes. - Gorgeous. 145 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,150 - Shut up. - Thanks, girls. 146 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:09,470 Just... God, no-one told me having it all would be so hard. 147 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,520 - Tell me about it. - Only women can say that, Kevin. 148 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,790 You all right? What you doing? 149 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,510 Um, yes, I just had to get out of the house, you know, mother's load. 150 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,670 I'm just trying to import my database from Outlook to... 151 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,600 Oh, that's brilliant, bye. 152 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,990 - Can I ask you a question? - Yes, what? Quick. 153 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,670 It's just I think men can struggle to have it all, too. 154 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,760 - Sorry, I haven't got time for this, Kevin. - OK, sorry. My bad. 155 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,870 So, a bit about Brand Amanda. 156 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:08,190 This may all look effortlessly thrown together but every aspect 157 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,870 in the store has been curated by me. 158 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,590 And when you are in the store, you are an extension of me. 159 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,470 You... No, you are a conduit... 160 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:16,880 .. to me. 161 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,870 Sorry, what are you doing? 162 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:23,390 - Just Googling the word "conduit." - It just means when people see you, 163 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,120 they should be getting the essence of me. 164 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,750 - So, like a younger you? - No, just a me. 165 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,430 Now, I think it's worth flagging up, 166 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,230 I am a mumtrepreneur -- very much mum first, trepreneur second, 167 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,190 so I'm not just a businesswoman, 168 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:40,150 I'm also a successful co-partner and mother. Sort of in... 169 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:44,150 - .. the SamCam mould. - Or Kylie Jenner. - Or SamCam. 170 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,070 Now, what I'm looking for is someone to do stuff 171 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,710 like deal with customers, 172 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,750 lock up shop and take the bins out. 173 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,910 So, an executive assistant. 174 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:59,310 - That sounds more like just an assistant. - Rose... 175 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,470 .. don't put yourself down. Fly high. 176 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,720 Now, do you have any questions? 177 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:09,310 What perfume are you wearing? It smells amazing. 178 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,000 Thank you. Uh... 179 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,950 I don't know, it's just me... 180 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,390 .. and two dabs of Tom Ford. 181 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,760 Do you know what? You are actually hired. 182 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,590 Hi, this is Nick from Shalamar PR. 183 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,670 Just checking you got my e-mail about the embargo being lifted 184 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,630 on reporting the winners of the Festival of Light. 185 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:31,510 Brilliant! 186 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:34,230 All right. Right, bye. 187 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,230 Bye. Bye. 188 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,550 Hi! You wouldn't mind watching the old laptop 189 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,790 while I go for a quick number one, would you? 190 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:45,190 No, not at all, but if it gets nicked, it's not my problem. 191 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,280 Bless you. 192 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,470 Oh, look at that, you work in PR! 193 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,550 - I work in PR too! - Yes, I think I overheard that. 194 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,950 No, I'm more the, um.... FMLG side of things. 195 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,270 That's my metier, as it were. 196 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,270 Arts and culture. 197 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,600 - Nick from Shalamar PR. - Julia Johnstone... 198 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,630 .. from Julia Johnstone PR. 199 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,720 Gosh! That's a weak handshake! 200 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,510 All right, guys, it's two minutes to ten. 201 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,590 You know what that means. 202 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,990 Woo! 203 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,280 Yes! Come on! 204 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:37,680 Yeah! 205 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,870 Hey, Kevin! Kevin! 206 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,110 - And you, Yvonne! - Yes. 207 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,350 - Yes, sorry. - Come on. 208 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,510 Let's go for it. 209 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,630 Woo! Come on! Woo! 210 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,670 Yes! Give it all you've got! 211 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,990 Yeah! Yeah! 212 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,400 Everyone huddle! 213 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,070 Right. 214 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,310 We're about to open, 215 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,150 and I just want to say have a great day. 216 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,590 Um, did anyone see the...? 217 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,270 I left a stack of kiddie pics here. 218 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:18,600 They were just here. 219 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,310 This is my own fault, really. 220 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,150 I shouldn't have brought them to work. 221 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,350 They're my private pics. 222 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,790 I mean, they're not pics of my own kids... 223 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:30,310 Well, I mean, one of them is, 224 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,590 but the rest are other people's kids. 225 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,880 I'm going to get in a lot of trouble for this. 226 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,510 I mean, she's a godsend. 227 00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:50,230 It's kind of a big sister/little sister thing, you know? 228 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,710 Or a mother/daughter kind of thing. 229 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,270 Well, she couldn't be my daughter, Anne, 230 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,030 because I didn't get my periods till I was 16, 231 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,430 so... you do the math. 232 00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,950 Could've had her when you were 24. 233 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,550 I couldn't have had her when I was 24, Anne, 234 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,830 because I was doing the ski season in Val d'Isere when I was 24. 235 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,680 Just meant theoretically. 236 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,670 - Where did the day go? - Do you have an assistant, Meg? 237 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,030 Yeah. I've got three. 238 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,630 They're all bloody useless. 239 00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,870 One of them was on the last series of Love Island, 240 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:17,950 and we didn't realise 241 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,030 until we saw her getting her tits sucked in a hot tub. 242 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:24,790 Sorry, h-h-how can you afford an assistant? I'd love an assistant. 243 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,790 Not even an assistant, just more sort of like a carer really -- 244 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,350 just someone who'd come in, get me up, give me a yogurt, 245 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,630 flush the toilet... 246 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,790 Oh, God, where's the baby?! 247 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,920 Oh, no, sorry -- he's still at nursery. 248 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,510 Has anyone got a good contact for a chimney fixer? 249 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,430 - Oh, do you mean a sweep or a roofer? - A roofer. 250 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,990 No, unfortunately I only have the number of a sweep. 251 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,990 Kathleen. Do you want me to airdrop her contact details to you? 252 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,510 No, no, I don't need a sweep, Anne. Hi, Kevin. 253 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,560 Hi, Julia. I'm a bit late. Sorry I'm late. I hate being late. 254 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:58,190 - Liz, you're never going to believe this. - What? 255 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,910 I've lost all the... the tea towel portraits. 256 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,270 The kids' portraits. They've gone. 257 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,510 All right, so what's the big deal? Just draw them again. 258 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,670 What, me draw them? I can't do that, Liz! 259 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,710 That's forgery! 260 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,070 For fuck's sake, Kev. 261 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,960 It's for a charity tea towel, not the Bank of England. 262 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:21,630 I said lights out. Now. 263 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:23,750 Come on. It's 7:45, guys. 264 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:24,960 Mum's trying to chill. 265 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,150 Jill? 266 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:34,070 Jill, is it OK to use the hot water tap to do the pots 267 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,990 or is that going to ruin your bath? 268 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,080 Jill? 269 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,080 Ji... I'll leave them. 270 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,710 Thank you. 271 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:14,840 Yes. 272 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,230 - Hey, hon. - Hi. - Do you mind if we twosies? 273 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,430 Oh, I'm really sorry, 274 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,910 - there's only one plug socket and I got here first. - I've got an adaptor. 275 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:30,830 I work in cafes all the time so I know all the tricks. 276 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,110 Right. 277 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,470 - Great. - Bless you. 278 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,150 - Are you going to order something? - Yes. 279 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,510 I just... I need to send an urgent e-mail and then I will be straight 280 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:46,950 over to order a small coffee. 281 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,390 Yeah, it's just that we need these tables for people who are... 282 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:50,550 Leo, love... 283 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,150 .. she's going to order a small coffee 284 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,200 when she's ready to order a small coffee. 285 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,470 He's so uptight, right? 286 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,470 Oh, no way... 287 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,350 Do you want me to get that for you? 288 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,350 Just say you're unavailable. 289 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,760 Would you mind? 290 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,040 Thank you. 291 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,080 Hi, this is Julia Johnstone PR. 292 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,480 I'm sorry, she's not available at the moment. 293 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,830 All right. Well, I'll pass on your message. 294 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,190 All right. 295 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,030 Thanks, Lucy. 296 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:35,150 You are an... excellent fake PA. 297 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,230 Well, it's just something my friend Sandra and I 298 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,470 used to do for each other when we first started. 299 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,310 Yeah. Hey, you... Maybe you and me could, um... 300 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,630 .. you know, do it for each other, or... 301 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,240 - Pass it here, babe. - Thank you! 302 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,230 Hi, this is Julia Johnstone PR. 303 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:57,680 Nick, speaking. 304 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,070 I'll just see if she's available. 305 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,750 - It's Rachel from Blossom. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, great. 306 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,230 Rachel? Hi. 307 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,720 Yes, my new PA. Yeah. He's great. 308 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,190 Sorry, could you just hold on a sec? 309 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,320 Nick, would you mind getting me a coffee? 310 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,120 Rachel. 311 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,670 Yeah. Can you get me up to speed on that? 312 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,910 Actually, sorry, hold on one sec. 313 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,990 Actually, could you get me a coffee? 314 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,080 Rachel? 315 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,880 Where's the kids' drawings? 316 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,190 Oh! 317 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,070 Oh, my God. 318 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:31,990 I just did aerial yoga. 319 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,910 Seriously, I need to measure myself -- I swear I've got taller. 320 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,110 - Rose, do you mind if I stretch? - No, that's fine. 321 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,200 Oh... 322 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:40,790 What? 323 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,150 Rose, you are inked! What is it? 324 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,870 Oh, it's by the same artist who did all of Wolf Alice's tats. 325 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,110 Oh, I love her... him... 326 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,270 - It's a band. - .. them. 327 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,470 I was thinking of getting one done myself, actually. 328 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,630 Just something that expresses me and my vibe. 329 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,320 A tiny little star tattoo on my inner wrist. 330 00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:01,150 Then I thought, my God, I'm way too old for a tattoo! 331 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,800 Don't let that stop you. 332 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:07,390 - Did you book my hair appointment, Rose? - 10am, all in the G-cal. 333 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,350 Already don't know what I'd do without you. 334 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,910 Hang on, it says... 335 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,110 It says it's with Lali. 336 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,510 Yeah. Julio wasn't free. 337 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,790 Did you say it was for me? 338 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,280 Um... yeah. 339 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,830 OK. Well, it's not going to work. 340 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,950 It has to be Julio. Erm... 341 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,230 OK, I'll sort this. 342 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,110 But, next time, just make sure you say it's for me. 343 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,910 - I did say it was for you - Next time, say my name. 344 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,710 - I did. - Amanda. - Yeah, I said Amanda. 345 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:34,670 Yeah. You just need to make sure they know exactly who it is for. 346 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,350 But anyway... not a big deal. 347 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,630 Chalk it up to inexperience. 348 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:40,990 OK. 349 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,110 Where do you get your hair done? It always looks so great. 350 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,560 Oh, I just... do it myself. 351 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,030 Rose, will you move your Bento box? 352 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,230 It's just the salad's starting to smell a bit. 353 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,760 - Yeah, of course. - Thank you. 354 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,510 Oh, thanks, mate, you're a life-saver. 355 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,790 It's all right. I was going past one anyway. 356 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,230 Oh, God, have you ever had the Loyd Grossman puttanesca? 357 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,390 It's delicious. It just really tampers with your acids. 358 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,790 You know, I heard on QI that "putta" is Italian for whore, 359 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,030 so puttanesca is "whore sauce." 360 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,630 Whore sauce? 361 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,390 I saw that in the West End with the original cast. 362 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,830 Oh, Nick, mate, did you manage to find that number for the... 363 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,550 - .. the chimney guy that you mentioned? - Oh, yeah. Erm, yeah... 364 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,950 I've just got... I'm just going to respond to my accountant. 365 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,160 OK. Yeah. No. Do, do, do, do, do. do. 366 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,630 That's... That's me. 367 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:45,790 It's just a little reminder about the number for the builder. 368 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,080 But no rush. It's cool. 369 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,710 You're not supposed to feed them bread. 370 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,920 Let them have a sodding pastry! Live a little. 371 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,000 Liz! 372 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:12,790 Ow! What you doing?! 373 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,230 Do the pictures on the packs mean nothing to you? 374 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,950 You smell like... kissing an ashtray! 375 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,830 Just leave me alone. I've got nothing to do. 376 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,430 Got nothing to do? 377 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,870 How can you have nothing to do? 378 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,710 How dare you have nothing to do?! 379 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,670 I'd love to have nothing to do, 380 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,950 but I've got to work, cook, clean the house, 381 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,550 hang out the laundry, bake the soda bread, 382 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,670 make myself look nice for Jill! 383 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,470 Not that she bloody notices. 384 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,390 Why you baking your own bread, you bell-end? 385 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:40,710 I've got to get back to work. 386 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,710 I was up till 3am the last two nights 387 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,910 drawing all the portraits for the tea towels, 388 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,630 and then I flipping left them at home. 389 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,270 I had to cycle back to the house in my lunch hour to get them! 390 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,350 You didn't have to offer to help. 391 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:52,910 Yeah. 392 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,150 And you didn't have to NOT offer to help. 393 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,590 What? 394 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,470 Do you know what, Liz? I can't talk about this. 395 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,320 I can't listen to someone moaning about having free time. 396 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,150 Just... 397 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,280 Just bloody grow up. 398 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,920 I miss my kids, Kev. 399 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,960 I really miss 'em. 400 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,470 And I don't want to be that person. 401 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,560 That's Anne. That's lame. 402 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,590 I don't get it. I've been counting down the hours 403 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:24,830 till both my kids are in school 404 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,430 and you know what I did with my first day as a free woman? 405 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:31,110 I sat on the sofa and I stared at a black spot on the ceiling 406 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,720 where Max fired his Nerf gun and left a mark. 407 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,630 Sorry. 408 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,120 Yeah, I'm sorry, too. 409 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,500 Let's have a look at your drawings, then. 410 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,440 OK, quickly. 411 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:04,870 These are too good, Kev. 412 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,070 Thank you, Liz. 413 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:09,200 No, I mean, they're... they're shit, but they're not shit enough. 414 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,280 Go to work, I'll sort this out. 415 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,830 Thanks, Liz. 416 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,670 Nick, hey, where are you? 417 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,270 Oh, you're still at the house? 418 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,350 I've spoken to Wojciech. He says it's difficult to tell 419 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,470 without getting up there and having a look, 420 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:26,390 but it's probably a mortar issue. 421 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,630 So, er... they can either repoint it or reline it. 422 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,910 OK. Well, can you get me a quote for both of them 423 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,670 and then I can have a look at it? 424 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,510 Why don't you e-mail him directly? I've really got to get to... 425 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,590 Sorry, Nick, while you're there, would you mind 426 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,910 just popping the bins inside the gate, just, um... 427 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,950 so the burglars don't think we're out, or whatever? 428 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,830 Thank you so much. Thank you so, so, so, so much. 429 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,480 Thank you. Bye-bye. 430 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,390 Rose, don't put all the biscotti jars out at once, please. 431 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,760 One will do. We're not TK Maxx. 432 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,440 Oh, my God! Ah! Life-saver! 433 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,110 Julio can squeeze me in at two today. 434 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,510 Oh, that's perfect! Johnny's coming over tonight. 435 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,950 - Is that your boyfriend? - Er... Well, husb... 436 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,470 It's complicated, but we're still seriously tight. 437 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,910 Um... OK, er... the car machine guy's coming to fix 438 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,950 um... the, um... the thingy at five. You OK to stay till then? 439 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,190 I can't. I actually have to leave on the dot tonight. 440 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,910 I'm volunteering at the food bank, so... 441 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,550 What? No, I don't think you understand. 442 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,030 Julio literally never has a cancellation 443 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,830 and I really need to get this nightmare sorted. 444 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:12,230 - I don't know what you're pointing at. - My roots. Look at them. 445 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,230 I'd love to help, but I've got... 446 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,390 I can't believe this is happening! 447 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:19,070 - It's just your hair. - It's just my hair? Oh, my God! 448 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:21,790 You literally have no idea what it takes to maintain this, do you? 449 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,550 - Course not. You are 26. - I'm 23. - I'm talking now. 450 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,070 I have to work out five days a week, 451 00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:27,670 I have to get my roots done bimonthly, 452 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,310 I have to get these bleached, these waxed, these extended. 453 00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:32,670 I am a fulltime project to myself, Rose, 454 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,030 so just because I seem like I'm a cool boss 455 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,590 and I've got an easy-going vibe 456 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,240 doesn't mean you can let me down. 457 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,110 You should cut yourself some slack. 458 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,830 You're stressing yourself out over nothing. 459 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,310 I think you look great, Amanda. 460 00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:51,920 You've got a killer bod and your skin's, like, amazing! 461 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,600 Yeah. 462 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,230 Yeah, you're right. 463 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,440 I hope I look half as good as you when I'm old. 464 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,550 Er... er... My colleague is joining me in a minute, sorry. 465 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,080 Just leave it! 466 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,230 100 portrait tea towels. 467 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:29,830 Oh, thank you so much for this, Liz. 468 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,750 No problem. The printers was around the corner, anyway. 469 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,360 Aw! And this is for you. 470 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,270 You made me a cake?! 471 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,670 I use my time to save your time 472 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,910 and use that time to bake a bloody cake. 473 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,390 There's no helping some people. 474 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,430 These look great! 475 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,750 Why's one of them Holly Willoughby? 476 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,750 Something for the dads. 477 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,710 Thank you. Thank you so much. 478 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,870 My pleasure. I almost enjoyed doing it. 479 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,470 Oh, well, we'll be gearing up for the class Christmas card soon, 480 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,550 - if you want to get in on that. - Oh, you're all right. 481 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,390 I just thought it might help keep you busy. 482 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,190 Fuck that, Kev. I've had an epiphany! 483 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,110 The kids are gone, every day until 3:30! 484 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,600 I'm a free woman! 485 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:17,390 Everything OK? 486 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:18,710 No, everything's not OK. 487 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,470 - Sorry, what? - Where were you? 488 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,670 - In the park. - In the park. 489 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,990 What the hell were you doing in the park? 490 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,590 I was having a picnic with my husband, if you must know. 491 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,150 Having a picnic? 492 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:30,510 At least have the guts to lie, 493 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,510 say you were at the osteopath or a funeral or something. 494 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,750 - I'm sorry, I... - Nick, in case you hadn't noticed, 495 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,550 we have got two businesses to run here. 496 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,910 Listen, hon, I'm always happy to help anyone, but... 497 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:43,950 .. like my husband says, you're really starting to take the piss. 498 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,590 I'm taking the piss? How? How am I taking the piss? 499 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,030 How? How am I taking the piss? 500 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:49,550 You are the one that's taking the piss. 501 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,830 You're the one that's turning up here four hours late for work. 502 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,990 Why? Because you're lolling around on a picnic blanket, 503 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,150 shoving mini Scotch eggs down your throat. 504 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:57,790 Yeah, because I'm self-employed. 505 00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,790 I can do what I want. 506 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,550 What's the point in having all the stress and insecurity 507 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,030 of self-employment if you can't bunk off for a picnic 508 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:06,550 on a sunny afternoon? 509 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,430 I could literally go for a swim at the men's pond right now, 510 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:11,550 if I wanted. 511 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,950 In fact, you know what, hon? 512 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,600 I am going for a swim. 513 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:23,520 Unbelievable. 514 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,230 Guys! Daddy's here! I'll just be a sec! 515 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,270 Hello, sweetie. Hello. 516 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,670 - Coat's all done? Say goodbye to Mum. - Bye! - Bye, Mummy! Love you! 517 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,160 See you, Amanda. 518 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,320 Oh, hey. Yo, yo! 519 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,350 You look like Elton John. 520 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:23,630 Do you want a cocktail? 521 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:25,080 Oh, yeah. Lovely. 522 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:29,520 Load up. 523 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:41,070 Hey, mate. You don't fancy, um... 524 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:42,960 .. an unpaid job as my PA, do you? 525 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:45,920 No, you're all right. 40859

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.