All language subtitles for Carter 2x02 - Harley Loses a Finger (English)

_

Okay, I got one. I got one.

Dave Leigh,

I'm really looking at you,

but I'm looking through you,

because you don't exist.

That's your Chief Boyle imitation.

- Yeah.
- All right. It's pretty good.

- It could be better.
- Okay.

You got to get better with the...

Dave Leigh. Dave Leigh.

Yeah. Try it.

- Dave Leigh.
- No. That's, like,

a weird, like, Gollum thing
you got going on there.

- Dave Leigh.
- Dave Leigh.

- No. Diaphragm.
- Dave Leigh.

Yeah. That's a little Cookie Monster.

- Dave Leigh.
- Dave Leigh.

Oh. How are you? We were just, uh...

Playing Boyle versus Boyle.

I get it. You two are obsessed with him.

I... love Chief Boyle.

I think he's doing great
things for the department.

- It's Dave who's obsessed.
- Um...

Did I miss Dot?

Uh, no. She's busy
explaining to that skycap

that she didn't ask him
to take her suitcase in.

She just let him.

That way, she doesn't have to tip him.

She's being extra-feisty today.

Well, do you blame her?

Hey. You feeling okay?

I'm taking my husband to Japan in a jar.

I am feeling many things.

Dot, you want me to come with you?

I will buy a ticket right now.

Harley, she said no.

All right. Well, just let me know.

I can be in Japan in, like, 15 hours.

As soon as I leave,

he will book a private jet.

I want you to shut that nonsense down.

I am all over that nonsense.

I love you, Dot.

So, uh, we gonna do this?

- Apparently.
- OK.

- Harley.
- I love you, Dot.

This is crazy.

It really feels like
Koji is gone... gone.

That's got to have some effect on her.

If Dot falls, we will
be there to catch her.

You coming?

You know what? I, uh...

I am gonna go to the souvenir shop

and pick you guys up
some of those t-shirts,

- the ones with the, uh, maple leaves on them.
- Harley.

And I'm gonna get you

the little, uh, maple syrup things,

- just the little ones.
- Harley.

Look, you guys know

I'm just gonna book
that jet when I go home,

so what is the big deal?

It's a pretty good deal if
you don't actually use it.

Man, I wish I was rich.

Ugh. Me, too.

Ugh.

_

After I crashed my first Porsche,

my dad just bought me another one.

How do I know you ain't amping?

Dude, I could spend the next five years

drinking my way around the whole world,

and it wouldn't even put a
dent in what my parents left me.

I mean, you can't even
imagine that kind of money.

- You just can't.
- I've got a very vivid imagination.

Where did you say you were from again?

Uh, a little town in
Canada called Bishop.

- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

_

_

I thought this would be a
deadly dry flight. My mistake.

It was either talk to you

or watch Big Bang Theory.

My husband loved the show, but the guy

who plays Georgie... overacting.

Sounds terrible.

But I meant what I said.
You've got my number.

Grief shared is grief halved.

It's nice to talk to
someone who understands.

As a great man once said,

"Four words sum it up.

Life... it goes on."

Say goodbye to Dot, Mum.

Goodbye, Dot.

Bye, Ray's mom.

Dot, you make a new
little English friend?

- We have to follow that man.
- Um, wow.

Dot, getting back into the dating game.

We could have gotten you
on some of the apps first.

Why do we have to follow him?

He's got more than ashes in that jar!

I feel like you're
waiting for me to ask you

what's inside of his jar. In his urn.

A thumb. A human thumb.

Dot, what drove you to
look inside of his urn?

He said he was bringing
his mother to Bishop.

- He was lying.
- How do you know?

He went to the bathroom four times.

The first three times, he
put his mother on the floor.

- On the floor!
- The monster.

And you had no choice but
to look inside of the urn.

Someone gives you a jar of
ashes, you're not going to look?

Okay. Dot, I... I love you.

I... I love you so much, and...

and please don't get mad
at me for saying this,

but are you okay?

You just went through this big thing,

and now, you're all like,

"Follow that guy. He has a thumb."

Are you sure it was a
thumb and not a baby carrot?

I know what a thumb looks like.

Okay.

Okay. My gut says to trust your gut.

- I trust you.
- He's leaving!

All right! Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Easy, easy.

One of us may have just spent $33,000 US

on a bunch of spy gear.

That's a tracker.

Dot, just be careful.

Dot...

Dot, that was some Jason
Bourne stuff right there.

Where's your car?

All right-y, then.

I just point this thing,

and then the sound waves
get converted by this.

And then we can hear everything
that's going on in that room.

Oh, oh, but the best part...

are these. These can see
heat signatures through walls.

Through walls, Harley.

I've always wanted my
own personal Q, and now,

- I got my own personal Q.
- Okay. I got something.

Seems like an awful lot to
pay for such a small problem.

Small problem?

You could die, you know.

Complications from sleep apnea

can lead to strokes, diabetes,
and motor vehicle collisions.

Okay, that was just the TV.

Ah.

Oh, here we go. I got something.

Yeah, she was seated in 9G,

window seat, like you said.

I have two days to kill her,

so consider her rinsed.
I'll ring when it's done.

A liar and a murderer.

Dot, do you know who was sitting in 9G?

Of course!

The first thing I do when
I get on an airplane is,

I take an hour and memorize
everybody's seat number,

just in case some stupid
idiot wants to know...

- Okay.
- ... who's sitting in 9G.

You could have said
no. Could have said no.

I want to know what the
deal is with this thumb.

I got to get in that house.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.
He's making another call.

Hello?

Yeah. You geezers one of those
"30 minutes or free" places?

Because by my watch,

you've got about eight minutes

before my pizza becomes free.

Great.

That went better than
I thought it would.

Yeah. Guy steps out of the woods,

offers a pizza boy
200 bucks and a selfie

to give him his clothes. No
way that could've gone wrong.

Dot, wait about a minute,

and then you can call
him for a distraction.

Whoa. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.

We need a code word, something you can

slip into conversation
in case you're in trouble.

The word could be "Koji."

That would be nice.

I just don't know how I'm
gonna casually work "Koji"

into a conversation.

"You know who else liked this pizza?

Koji Yasuda." Like that.

Okay. Good. Or... or,
uh, you could just say...

"swanky."

Like, "Hey, this is a swanky
place." You could get away with that.

Okay. I got it.

It's go time.

- Can you hear me?
- Loud and clear, buddy.

Okay.

I'm a pizza boy.

I'm a pizza boy.

Be the pizza boy.

Thirty-seven minutes, by my account.

Pizza's on you, mate.

'Allo, bruv.

It's good to hear a familiar accent.

Where you from, then, mate?

East London. You?

Right! Yeah, I know eastern,

eastern south... uh,
southeast London town.

Now, we know why Harley didn't
get that Guy Ritchie movie.

It's like he wants to die.

Ah, how about, uh, Meghan Markle

leaving that, uh, telly show Suits

and now, uh, Princess Meghan?

Um... Hey, mate, do you
mind if I use your washroom?

I just, uh... I really
have to skip to the loo.

I got to get this.

Uh, down the hall to the right.

What do you...

Put it there.

See yourself out.

Thank you, mate. You are the...

you are the dog's bollocks!

Ray, it's, uh, Dot Yasuda.

Dot, my love, how the
bloody hell are you?

So glad you called!

You're in the bathroom?

What'd you think, the
urn is in the bathroom?

I just called to see if you got in okay.

Uh, buddy? What are you doing?

I'd have to be wavy to think

that you got on the
blower just to share.

You and me, we're not sharers.

No. That's why I called,

because I wanted to talk
to someone who understands,

someone who knows you don't
have to "boo-hoo-hoo" to hurt.

You're preaching to the choir, Dot.

The sharks I move with,

grief is just blood
in the water for them.

Oh, my God. Where are you going now?

Oh. To the urn,

because I'm the best
damn pizza boy in world.

Okay. He's still on other side of house.

Do you have the thumb?

Looking.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

I got it.

Hang on.

Thought I heard something.

What was I saying? Yeah.

Yes. I can hear it.

My relationship with my
mother was very complicated.

We were a team.

Harley, we have a fingerprint kit

in the van. Bring the thumb here.

No, no, no. Too risky.

If he comes back and he
sees that the thumb missing,

he'll jet before we figure
out what's going on here.

You come to the back of
the house with the kit.

I'll toss you the thumb. You print it.

You toss the thumb back to me.

Harley, that is a
seriously terrible idea.

But I'm on my way.

Okay.

Uh, uh, my relationship

with my husband was also complicated,
and they always got it wrong.

Everyone thought that
I was the strong one.

Yeah. People expect
you to play that part,

even though playing that part,

you do some ugly things.

Dave?

Dave? Are you ready?

What?

Dave, I'm gonna toss
you the thumb, okay?

What? Yeah. Throw it.

Dave, you gotta catch it, though.

- Let's do this! Come on!
- Hey! Shh!

I'm going to throw it in
an arcing motion, okay?

I'm not going to beam it.

I don't care! I'm ready!

Eye on the thumb.
Dave, eye on the thumb.

- I see the damn thumb, Harley.
- All right.

It's super-gross, all
right? So just be careful.

- Throw the thumb! Throw the thumb!
- Eye on the thumb, okay, Dave?

- Throw the thumb! Just throw the thumb!
- Dave, do you got this?

- Stop it!
- This is for real.

- Throw it! I've got this!
- One.

- You are counting down, man!
- Two.

- Throw it! One.
- Three.

- Dave!
- Two.

Are you kidding me?

- It just hit your arm!
- That... that was...

- Forget about the print. Find the thumb.
- That was the thumb?

- Bring it back to the truck.
- Harley, I'm in a swamp!

Find the thumb?

Well, I'd like to carry on this convo,

but I've got a 40-year-old
pizza boy stuck in the khazi.

He's been there for a very long time.

I better make sure
that he's not drowned.

I'll call you later.

W... wait. Wait, wait, wait, Ray.

Uh, Ray, uh, uh, don't hang up.

Uh, just a second.

Get out.

Raymond, do you like
movies about gladiators?

I'm sorry?

Dot, I got this.

You don't got this!

You trying to get us
killed with these adlibs

and gladiator movies?

End the call.

I'm sorry, but it was just

a question I wanted to ask
on the plane, but I forgot.

I got to go.

Oh! Right.

This is embarrassing.

I, uh, didn't know you
were standing there.

I have a bit of a dickey
tum. You might want

- to light a candle.
- Hang on a minute.

Do I know you from somewhere?

He's been made. He's been made!

Not yet.

Um, uh, I've just been told
I... have one of those faces.

Um, swanky place you have here.

It's very swanky. You have
a swanky house. It's very...

I just realized.

I remembered I never tipped you.

Not your fault that the traffic was bad.

Uh...

Thank you, sir. That's very generous...

generous of you, not swanky at all.

It's just generous.
I repeat, not swanky.

- Did you get it?
- Get in the van!

Please tell me you got it.

We went to all that
trouble to steal a thumb,

and then someone steals it from us!

Hey, man, you spent 33 grand on spy gear

and didn't have a single camera

watching the 33 grand of spy gear.

Yeah, but they didn't take
any of our gear, which means

whoever broke into your van

knew exactly what they were coming for,

which also means they
knew we had the thumb.

Which means Layer Cake
has his thumb back.

But we got a selfie with
the thumb, so we got proof.

Excuse me. What are
you two talking about?

Oh, we're, uh, currently
living in a Guy Ritchie movie.

Yeah, it's a British caper with
a real live British villain.

You say this guy is British?

Well, he's claiming to
be, but his cockney accent

is pretty fake-y if you ask me.

And I'm kind of an expert on accents.

- He was British.
- This him?

Ray Understone.

Scotland Yard tipped us off he was here.

You don't say.

Yep. They've been after him for years

but have never been able to
pin anything really big on him.

And now, he's dropped off the
Brits' radar and onto ours.

They want this guy bad,
which means I want him worse.

There's a handful of
assault charges here, too.

This guy is not afraid
to get his fists dirty.

And we need to find out who
was sitting in 9G on his flight.

That seems to be his target.

Yeah. Well, nothing in his jacket
indicates that he is an assassin.

Then what was he doing
with a human thumb?

Let's go find out.

You boys willing to tag along?

Uh, well, actually,
it... it would be you

who's tagging along,
because it's our case!

A human thumb?

You've been watching too many
of your own shows, Mr. Carter.

Yes, I placed you after you left.

Didn't know you were a pizza
boy, though. Tough fall.

We can come back with a
warrant, Mr. Understone.

Oh, and, um, what is
the probable cause, mate?

We know about the woman in 9G.

The woman you threatened to kill.

That's a figure of speech, love.

9G ordered the last can of crisps

on a very long flight across the pond.

I could've killed her.

Still, you can't arrest
a man for loving crisps.

Can you?

Sorry for, uh, wasting your time.

We'll be seeing you again real soon.

Promise?

Count on it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's it?
You're not gonna arrest him?

This is round one.

He's daring us to take him down.

- What's our next move?
- Our next move?

We... This is our case.

We let you in as a courtesy.

Technically, Scotland
Yard brought us in.

If you think we're walking
away from this, you are crazy.

All right. Now, you seem
to be a little confused

as to exactly who you think
you're talking to here.

Sir, a moment? This is
100 percent a police case.

- No disagreement.
- But?

His methods are... odd,

but he gets there, somehow.

When the moment comes for someone

to punch our little British friend
in the face, I want to be there.

- Done.
- All right.

Okay. We got a name for the
passenger in 9G: Helen Pickford.

Great. Sorry about that.

For pissing off my boss?

Listen, Harley, I'm still
getting a read on him, too.

I just wish you weren't
reading him out loud.

What's our next move?

Let's go see a lady
about a bag of crisps.

Not that this isn't a lovely house,

but... but if I'm in so much danger,

why aren't I at the police station?

Well, believe it or
not, this is actually

the safest place you could
be in Bishop right now.

We have a squad car outside,

and Dot is actually more
capable than she looks.

She knows more about
the case than anyone.

Well, then that... that
does make me feel better.

Hello, Dot. I'm Helen.

Hello, Helen.

I have three shotguns.

No one will murder you while I am here.

Yeah. Her bedside manner
is absolutely terrifying,

but you're safe with her.

Is this man familiar to you at all?

I remember him from the
flight. Interesting hat.

Uh, what does this have to do with me?

Does he want to kill me?

No, no, no, no. We are
not gonna let that happen,

but we do need your help.

Why would he be interested in you?

I have no idea. I'm a
professional scrapbook-er.

I had no idea scrapbooking
had a professional level.

Having trouble connecting
scrapbooking with murder.

I'm sorry?

Oh, I... I don't see the connection

between scrapbooking and murder.

Did you see him approach
anyone on the flight?

He was chatting with a flight attendant.

Can you describe them?

I can do more than describe her.

Her name was Tina.

It was on the uniform.

Young and pretty,

even for a flight attendant.

Well, let's track down
Tina the flight attendant.

We will get this guy.

Well, how... how do you know that?

I know how he thinks.

He's a con man, and what are con men

but actors without scripts?

Or morals.

No, wait. That's still actors. My bad.

Well, uh, please, keep... keep
me posted and updated, please?

We will.

How would you like to help me

with some scrapbooking?

Who ordered the peppermint mocha?

Oh, Tina, you are a lifesaver.

Says the guy who gets me
safely on the ground every day.

Twice on Friday.

Hey, what's that?

Where?

Sorry. I thought I saw something.

Well, I'll leave you to it, then.

Nicely done.

- I'm sorry?
- You should be.

Um, you guys aren't
allowed to be in here.

Oh, sorry. We're just
doing some research

for an independent film we're making.

Might be a limited
series. We're not sure yet.

About small-town pilots
and air traffic controllers,

your personal lives,
stresses of the job, you know,

your sex lives.

Looking at you, tiger.

Yeah. Yeah. You.

Uh, we'll be back to pick your brains,

but first, we would love
to talk to Tina downstairs.

Or would you rather we just did it here?

Tina, Tina, Tina.

You like to steal things from passengers

on flights you're working,

and we're guessing Ray
Understone caught you in the act.

I'm sorry. Am I under arrest?

Not yet, but we definitely think
it's hovering in the horizon.

How do you know Ray Understone?

I don't. I mean, I didn't.
I met him on my flight.

He said it takes one to know one.

Oh, so he did catch you in the act.

What'd you two talk about?

Nothing much. He offered
me some business tips,

gave me his number.

I found him kind of charming.

Yeah, I did, too.

I guess he was intrigued.

Were you intrigued back?

That's not really any of your business.

Not really sure what is or
is not our business just yet.

It might be putting you in jail.

- Yeah.
- It might be keeping you out.

- Mm.
- That's entirely up to you.

What do I have to do?

Keep the change, love.

You deserve it.

- Thank you, darling.
- You're welcome.

All right.

Oh, there's no charge.

The English gentleman
already paid for it.

Damn it.

I think he likes you.

He was casing Harley's house,

which is where we stashed Helen,

the woman from 9G, so
she's still in danger.

All right. We got to
double up on our security.

But no match on the fingerprints.

Whoever that thumb belonged to,

the guy's not in our system.

I don't like being played.

I got Rafalski running down

whatever purchases Understone made.

Great, but there's, uh... there's...

there's one more thing that I need to...

- What has Carter done now?
- Well, remember I told you

about the flight attendant lead?

Yeah. Did we get
anything good out of her?

Not yet, but she's going

on a date with Understone tonight,

and Harley has talked
her into wearing a wire.

- So she's gonna try to get him to talk.
- Okay. Wait, wait. To be clear,

the plan is to send in a civilian

to try and con a professional con man

with tech that Harley
bought on an online spy shop.

Well, firstly, Harley's tech is
about three generations better

than anything this department has.

And secondly, I told you.

I don't like being played.

I agree. You don't need to
have chips with everything,

but you have to have
them with bloody fish.

Okay. What about sliders?

If I wanted a baby burger,

I'd have brought a baby.

These people gonna talk
about every item on the menu?

What about the calamari?

That looks good, but it's
a little rubbery here.

This restaurant does not serve calamari.

It's a major oversight, but they do not.

Are you kidding me?

We're being played again?

He could be anywhere!

Doing anything.

Whoa. Hey, hey, hey!

Having fun yet?

What game are you
playing? That would help.

Now, if I helped,
that would be cheating.

I'm guessing you're not a cheater.

Willing to lower my
standards to meet yours.

Ouch. I just thought that I'd pop by

and thank all three of you in
person for making this such fun.

You enjoy acting, don't you?

Not much difference between
actors and con men, is there, mate?

Well, much as I'm enjoying
our little chin wag,

I want my thumb back.

Interesting.

It would appear that our
game has a secret player.

Well, it's been a laugh.

Well, aren't you gonna arrest him?

On what charge?
Possession of a body part

he clearly is not in possession of?

We now know the thumb
is at the heart of this.

Why would a thief want a thumb?

Maybe it's a famous thumb.

You're right.

It's gonna be Ed Sheeran's thumb.

You don't think we would have heard

if Ed Sheeran lost a thumb?

It... it's gonna be
Spooky Spice's thumb.

Biometrics.

A biometric lock.

The thumbprint is the key.

So the question is,

what in town is valuable enough

that it needs a biometric lock?

And the bigger question is,

if he doesn't have the thumb...

Who has the thumb?

Name one way this guy's
not run circles around you.

How about when we went to his house

and he ran circles around you?

I heard you were bonding about acting.

Are you telling him everything now?

Of course I am. It's a
criminal investigation.

Great. We got a double
agent on our team.

There's only one team, and last
I checked, we were all on it.

Detective Shaw is first and foremost

an officer of this police department.

Detective Shaw is first and foremost

my best friend from Grade Two.

This whole thing is starting to
sound a little Grade Two to me.

Okay. You want to talk
about the good old days?

Where were you between the
months of October and July, huh?

Long 10 months.

What is he talking about?

I have no idea.

What are you talking about, Carter?

Uh, um... I... I was just
trying to make small talk.

Well, that was very specific small talk.

Yeah, well, just getting
to know the new guy,

and I guess I know enough now.

This isn't finished.

I mean, obviously, right
now, it is, but, uh... uh...

What the hell was that?

I don't pretend to
understand those guys.

But Carter, he's got to learn
where your loyalties lie.

I'm gonna check with Rafalski,

see if he's got a rundown on
Understone's shopping spree.

I know I should be terrified,

but Dot and I are having
just such a wonderful time.

Show Mr. Carter the scrapbook you made.

She says it's perfect.

Look, Dot, it's you and
your favourite rifle!

Now, I know why the man wants her dead.

This is all she knows.

It's all she talks about.

I got the CCTV footage from across
the street where I parked the van.

Oh, the lady who owns
the laundromat loves Dave.

It's the only business in town
that has a little picture of him

next to a bigger picture of me.

- It's so cute.
- Here we go.

That guy was at the airport.

He was staring at me.
Thought he was a fan.

He stole the thumb!

I'm sorry.

Did you say that man stole a thumb?

It's a long story.

You probably didn't need
to hear the thumb part.

I didn't really hear any of it, but...

Look, we got to call Sam.

You sure you want to do that, Dave?

- She's a mole.
- Yeah, Harley.

Of course we got to... Oh, okay.

Mole.

Vinnie Lubanski,

also a grifter out of London.

Another one? Maybe Bishop's
hosting a convention.

Sam, uh, I just wanted to say
I'm sorry about this morning

and I'm sorry I keep saying sorry.

Yeah. What was that about,

that whole thing from
October to July with Boyle?

That was just... that was weird.

It was nothing.

You know, he was getting under my skin,

and I returned the
favour, and I bollixed it.

And... it won't happen again.

- Yeah, it will.
- Well, well, well,

put a bow on me and open
me up like a present.

Is Christmas here early?

Delilah Halsey.

Oop! One moment, please.

Just full access.

This is better.

Hi. Delilah Halsey.

I have been on the job for one month,

and it is my first case
with Harley Carter...

- Right.
- ... the one and only.

- I'm delighted.
- Delilah.

Right.

I hear you're one of the best.

We're lucky to have you.

Not as lucky as I'd be to have you.

Did I say that out loud?

Hope so.

All right. If this guy gives
you any trouble, Delilah,

you come see me.

I don't think he'll be a problem.

You know, Wes told me that you like

a little theatricality
in our presentation.

Voil�.

Yeah. That... that's just me.

Sam is in more of a
straight procedural...

Oh. Boring. Well, good news is,

I am cocktail-ready if you
want to go for drinks later on.

For the record, I said nothing
about a wardrobe change.

- Shh.
- So, was there something that you wanted to show us?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- This body was shipped back

from London this morning.

Local boy seeing the world drinks
too much, falls into traffic.

That's the story.

I have his personal effects

but haven't been able to
unlock his cellphone yet.

So, what does this have to do with us?

Wait for it.

Hit it, kid.

Yeah. That's fun.

- Ta-da!
- 'Kay. I asked you not to do that.

You did. And you jumped your cue.

- I did.
- We're still working out our dynamic.

This is Richie Carpenter.

So, if you could...

Okay. His parents died a year ago.

His father was a big-time
CEO, extremely wealthy.

And that's horrible, but what...
what does this have to do with us?

Why are we down here?

Well, I've been following your case,

and this is the real reveal.

Uh-huh.

Ta-da!

- She nailed it.
- Nailed it.

British authorities thought the
thumb was severed in the accident.

I think it was just
supposed to look that way.

Wh... when you said the Carpenters

were extremely wealthy...

We need to get to the
Carpenter mansion now.

Before Vinnie Lubanski gets there.

Let's go.

- Ah-ah-ah. We stay here.
- Aw.

Hear anything?

No. Should we find a way in,

or, uh, do you just want to
wait for the next pizza guy?

Dave, you go that way. Go.

The thumb.

Holy crap.

That's a bearer bond, vintage.

One of these alone is worth 100 grand.

Oh. He left us a note.

"Sorry, chaps, but the best man won.

Consider this a consolation
prize just for playing.

Yours, Vinnie Lubanski."

- He tipped us?
- Hey, guys?

Looks like we're not the only
ones who got here too late.

It's Ray. He's on his phone.

Wish we could hear that conversation.

Oh!

Ah!

Dave, you okay?

- Dave!
- Ow!

Every cop in Bishop is
looking for Vinnie Lubanski.

It's going to be very tough
for him to get out of town.

But not impossible!

I'm sorry! Did I yell that?

My... my ears are still ringing!

Are you sure that I'm no longer in
any danger from this terrible man?

I saw his car explode.

And I heard it!

It was... Okay, yeah.

I think I'm going to
need one of those, uh...

A little celebratory tea.

We'll celebrate when
I get my house back.

I heard that.

That's some shade, right there.

- Delilah! Oh, hey.
- Hey.

Oh, what's going on?
No cocktail dress today?

Based on what I'm about to tell you,

no one's gonna want to celebrate.

You got a positive ID on the body?

No, his body was burned up in pieces,

but I did manage to
ID his dental records.

Ah-ba-ba-ba. Don't tell us.
Don't tell us. Let us guess.

- Started.
- Let us guess!

- Okay.
- It's not Ray Understone. It's Vinnie Lubanski.

Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!

- How'd you know?
- You know, I... I wasn't positive,

but all these little things are...

are starting to make sense.

Ray found out that
Vinnie stole the thumb.

Heck, even if he didn't
know that he took it,

he knew where it was going.

Ray got there first, ambushed Vinnie.

Knocked him out. Did
he dispose of the body?

No. He got a better idea.

He waited for us to show up.

We were distracted with
thumbs and bearer bonds.

He put Vinnie in his car, okay,

adjusted his body just so,

putting the phone in his hand.

He wanted us to think
that he was killed,

faking his own death...

in an explosion.

You're a genius.

And then nobody is looking for Ray.

I literally followed Ray around today

as he bought everything he
needed to blow up his car.

You know what? Helen's
gonna be in danger.

- We got to track her down.
- Yeah. I'm gonna hit the airport

in case he's trying to
flee the country already.

- Keep in touch.
- Yeah.

- Oh, Delilah.
- Anything.

You said you had Richie Carpenter's...

- Phone.
- ... phone.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Welcome.

I'm also gonna need his thumb.

Okay.

Okay, Ray, we may be in business.

I struck up a thing with the guy in 12B.

- He's a hedge fund guy, likes tropical fishes.
- Good!

The fish angle is something
that we can play on.

Now, let's just get the
rules straight, shall we?

If we're gonna be a new team,

you got to take all your sigs
and all your clues from my eye.

That way, we'll be great over the pond.

What are those two looking at?

They're looking for a dead man.

And I think they may have found one.

Ray Understone,

it seems the reports of your death

have been greatly exaggerated.

Detective Shaw, would you say

that a lot of bearer bonds would
fit in a satchel of this size?

Let's have a look, shall we?

- Chips.
- Crisps, mate.

I wasn't gonna make
the same mistake twice.

Oh. All right. All right. You got me.

They should have been duty-free.

We know that you cut off
Richie Carpenter's thumb.

And murdered Vinnie Lubanski.

Well, love, why don't
you try pinning that

on the bloke that stole the bonds?

Because you've got sod all on me.

Hey! Sorry for bringing you back here.

We may have been a little premature

with the whole "Ray's dead" thing.

I'm sorry. You told me he exploded.

How could he have survived that?

Slight of hand.

You take milk with your tea, right?

Yes. Thank you.

I couldn't help but notice
that you put the milk in first.

That's a very British thing, isn't it?

Is it?

Helen, we just want to
run some stuff by you,

- you know, use you as a bit of a sounding board.
- Of course.

For the life of us,
we could not figure out

how Ray was able to stay
one step ahead of us.

I mean, like, how did he do that?

And then I remembered something he said:

"Not a lot of difference
between actors and con men."

I know how he thinks. He's a con man,

and what are con men but
actors without scripts?

Something eerily similar
to something I said to you.

I'm sure I don't recall.

A world-class con man
like Ray Understone

has to assume that he's being followed,

that Scotland Yard would tip
us off, so what does he do?

He points us right to you.

He wants us to think that
he's here to kill you,

the lady in 9G, so we'd
have to protect you.

He even followed you
here to keep up the ruse.

Ruse? Why would he do that?

Can I take a look at that hearing aid?

What are you insinuating, young man?

Well, it's just that I've had
a little experience as of late

with two-way radio devices,

and I don't think that's
a hearing aid at all.

We had no choice but to keep you close,

and that way, Ray was able to listen in

on all of our conversations
through your not hearing aid.

It's how he was able to know

exactly where we were in the case.

Did you say that man stole a thumb?

Any-hoo, Ray's not dead.

The old "died in an
explode-y car" trick...

I wonder who taught him that one?

It was his mom.

You.

Dot, these... these...
these parlour scene moments

are all about building dramatic tension,

so you can't just jump
to the end like that.

Just show her the picture.

This is Richie Carpenter's phone.

We couldn't get into it
until you or Ray got cocky

and left his thumb
behind. Thank you for that.

Once we got it open, we found this.

Ladies and gentlemen, Helen Understone!

Richie walked into the
wrong pub that night,

but what you didn't know is,

also in the pub that
night was Vinnie Lubanski.

Vinnie followed you here to Bishop,

was about to screw up all your plans

when you decided to take Vinnie lemons

and explode them into lemonade.

You and Ray were in
on this the whole time.

You knew that Scotland Yard
was watching, so you wanted it

to look like you were in danger.

Time to bring in an inside man,

or in this case, an inside mom.

Plus, we found these in your bag.

We could have arrested
you 100 years ago,

but this one likes to hear himself talk.

Well done, Mr. Carter.

- You do dazzle, just like you do on the telly.
- Easy. Hey, come on.

Hey, Helen, you're a grifter,
not a killer. Put the gun...

Ah! Ah!

Ah!

Dot, you're supposed
to act like you're shot!

I changed my mind. It's stupid.

I knew we should have used squibs.

We had to work with what we had.

This is... this is just ketchup.

We took the real bullets out of your gun

and put blanks in there
when you went to the loo.

Brilliant.

However, while you two
were out of the room

doing whatever it is you were doing,

I found this.

Dot, please tell me you
do not keep that loaded.

Oh, don't be stupid.

It's always loaded.

Shall we begin with Mr. Carter?

No, shoot me first.

No. Come on. Shoot me first.

- Me!
- Do not shoot her. Shoot me!

- Shoot me!
- Shoot me, please!

Cor blimey! You two are
the picture of sweet.

Oh!

I told her to shoot me first.

Hey, Dot... are you gonna be okay?

I got a cat.

You got a cat?

- You hate animals.
- I don't hate animals.

I just hate cats.

Well, Koji always wanted a cat,

and so, now, you and I have a cat.

I haven't seen a cat.

It knows I hate it.

I'm working on it.

Scotland Yard sends
their congratulations.

- And a fruit basket.
- Ah.

Classy Brits.

Listen, Chief, do you and I

need to set some ground
rules moving forward?

Carter, we may have different methods,

but this sandbox,

it belongs to me.

Right back at you.

Let me do that again. Take two. Action.

Right back at you.

Yeah. I like that. Print it.

- Let's go.
- Mmm, give me a second.

One thing we should get clear, sir:

I will always do my duty as
a member of this police force,

and I will never let you down.

That's what I like to hear.

But if you force me to choose

between my friends and my job,

it's the last you're gonna see of me.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Hey.

- Hey.
- How's Dave?

Uh, his hearing's back
to about 40 percent.

The doc says he'll be fine,

but we had to put
away all of our gadgets

until we've fully read
the instruction manuals.

- Yeah.
- Here you go.

Oh, where'd you get this?

From that latte place over on Leeward.

I had them run a couple over.

They deliver?

For the right price, everyone delivers.

Remember when I said I was going

to go book that private
jet in case Dot needed me?

Well, I got you this airport T-shirt...

when I gave you the slip
and went and booked it!

Aw! Oh, man, that's so thoughtful.

I didn't get you
anything when I went back

and cancelled your booking.

Oh, that's so funny.

I told them if you cancelled,

they should call me
so I could rebook it.

Harley, they told me that
you told them to call,

so I told them to tell you
whatever you wanted to hear.

So there was no jet?

No.

Well played.

If you could fly anywhere
you wanted in the world today,

where would you go?

Well, if this were a TV show,

I'd look at you and say, "Right here,

doing what we're doing
right now. One-way ticket.

No connecting flights."

Uh, yeah. Well, the thing is,

we're not on a TV show.

This is real life.

Is it, though?

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- www.addic7ed.com -