All language subtitles for Carter 2x01 - Harley Wears a Wig (English)

Yup, that's my elbow. Ow, oh.

Sorry about that.

Ah.

- How about this?
- Oh, that's better.

- Okay, good.
- Yeah, ow...

Okay, yeah...

Wow, okay. So, that happened.

I feel weird.

I feel weirder.

Yeah, I'm pretty
sure I feel the weirdest.

I don't think I should
be here right now.

I think I made a terrible mistake.

If this is a singing telegram,

I think I'm gonna really
enjoy what's about to happen.

But where's your little fireman outfit?

I'm not a...

I'm sorry, I'm Neil Jacott.

The acerbic Asian woman in the
kitchen said I could come out here.

I saw your bench ad for P.I. services.

I have a case that just could
not wait for office hours.

You saw my bench ad?

Hey, I was gonna go with a V-neck,

but I didn't want to
come off as too sexy

so I went with a simple crew.
What... what did you think?

That's not my area.

My sweet wife Gretchen has been
missing since yesterday morning.

Her car is gone,
and there's no trace of her.

This is not like her.

She is very predictable.

She loves routine.

I feel time is running out.

Weird things are happening.

I've been followed by a black car.

Black car... you get a license plate?

No, it's unmarked, but it always guns it

and screeches around a corner, anyway.

Please, Mr. Carter,
I saw your fee structure,

I know about your snack stipend.

Please find my wife.

I believe you, Neil. I do.

But if I take this case,
we will be linked together forever.

Oh, yeah, you're gonna be my
first solo case as a P.I.!

I'm gonna tell my children about this.

So, how does this work?

Well, a lot of people
that watch television

think that being a private investigator

is all about the mustaches
and the Ferraris,

but I can tell you it
is serious business

that involves skill, instinct

and often times can be very dangerous.

But right now,

I'm gonna need you to move
a little bit over here...

because you're in my light.

Uh, Dot, everything okay?

You're looking at them

as if you've never
seen a pancake before.

These are the things
that made you a fat kid.

Now, sit and eat.

_

I gotta go,

but we have to have a talk
when I get back, okay?

For real.

Hey!

Pretty sure I'm supposed to
be part of that walk-and-talk!

You like my new whip?

Harley, you don't even like to drive!

That's besides the point.

It's an extension of my personality.

Every TV detective needs
a signature ride.

And so do pimps.

You're late. Trouble sleeping?

I slept like a baby...
baby who has weird dreams.

What am I late for?
It can't be as important as my news.

You know that my license
just came through,

and boom, already booked
my first case as a P.I.!

A missing persons case!

Missing persons? You sure you
can handle that on your own?

I'm upping my skill set.

You're gonna see a whole
new bag of tricks.

Oh, oh, oh.

- Oh, wow.
- Plus, come on,

you sayin' this face does
not instill confidence?

I think it makes you look like
a constipated Justin Theroux.

Yes!

Guys, missing persons case

is a staple of the television detective.

It's a warm up. It's a lay-up.

I find Neil Jacott's
wife and I call it a day!

Neil Jacott?

Yeah, what you, uh,
hook up with him or something?

Uh, here at the station,
he's called "Conspiracy Neil".

That doesn't sound too complimentary.

Yeah, this guy reports a
crime every other week.

He tell you about the black
car that follows him around?

Maybe.

Yeah, sorry, Harl, no case here.

It's a case!

Well, if his wife is gone,
I'm gonna guess she left her husband

and is on an island somewhere

sipping a drink with an umbrella in it,

and good for her.

It's a case and I'm gonna find her!

Just you and me, constipated
Justin Theroux.

We're gonna change this town!

Why is she in such a hurry?

Chief Pershing retired?!

When were you people going to tell me?

Do you not check your e-mail at all?

To be fair, it was sudden,
nobody saw it coming.

His pension kicked in.
He took early retirement.

I've seen this happen a
million times, okay?

The network wants to juice up a show,

they bring in some new characters

to shake things up a little bit.

This is a good thing, all right?

The important part is the
three of us survived, okay.

So do we know who it's gonna be?
Does anyone have a name?

Well, they're supposed
to be here any minute,

so I guess we're about to find out.

Guys, it's gonna be a woman.
That's the move.

A female chief, you hear me?

I'm gonna have, like,
a flirty thing going with her.

Sam, it's gonna be a
little weird for you,

some, uh, territorial stuff,

but mid-season-ish,
you guys will form a sweet bond.

And you should know that I
will always have your back.

Hey, the new chief just got in!

Her name is Joyce Boyle.
It's all I know.

Joyce, I told you it's a woman!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Well, hello, Joyce.

Well, okay, don't panic.

True, he looks like an
intimidating character

from The Wire, but we
can work with this.

You know what,
you attract more bees with honey.

I'll just sweet-talk him,

hit him with my signature warm charm.

Before you know it, he'll be melting

like a baby pat of butter in me hands.

"Hey, Chief Joyce, how you doing?
I'm Harley.

Hi, Chief Joyce,
you melting away in my hands?"

- Harley, Harley.
- Yeah, he's melting away!

Stop!

Joyce Boyle.

New Interim Chief.

This is my office, right?

Yes. We are so sorry, we were just...

I'm Detective...

Sam Shaw. Yeah, I know who you are.

I'm Harley Carter.

Sure you know who I am.

I do not.

Uh, my name is Dave Leigh...

Chief Joyce,
let me give you the lay of the land.

Right in back of you,
that is Detective DePi�a.

Good guy, but the kind of dude
who orders sliders as an app,

and then, a burger as his entr�e.

Not a lot going on in
the old noggin' hole.

And then, um, you met Rafalski,
he walked you in.

Looks like a lap dog,

but do not cut in front
of him at karaoke.

He will go dark on your
bum-bum real quick.

Um, then there's me, Sam, and um...

- Dave!
- Dave.

And the three of us kinda
got our own thing going on.

I'm a consultant of sorts,

handpicked by the Mayor, blah-blah-blah,

running my own solo P.I. thing.

Mostly off-the-grid stuff.

You look like you're a stickler
for rules y regulaciones,

but you should know that our situation,

it's sort of grand-fathered in,

it is what it is.

Mr. Carter, thank you for the
recon on everyone's lunch order.

Good stuff. Real helpful already.

Great!

I don't think that's
what he meant, Harley.

I'll tell you what,

I'm gonna suss out how things
are gonna work moving forward,

but in the meantime,
I'm gonna ask you two to step out

so I can talk to Detective Shaw here.

Yep.

Alone?

No! Oh, yeah, of course, duh!

Um, I, um... I got that solo P.I.
case...

- That's not a case.
- It's a case.

- It's not a case.
- It's a case.

It's really not a...

I don't know,
there's something off about this guy.

He just rolls in from outta nowhere,
from New York City.

He just feels like a
threat to our way of life.

- And he's so handsome.
- He's seriously handsome.

We should be investigating him.

Hey, man, what happened
to you and that guy

on the bus ad this morning who
was gonna change this town?

Dave, you ever have a
dream and you wake up,

and it just sticks with you all day

and you just have no idea what it means?

Oh, my God, you had a sex dream!

- Come on.
- Who was it with?

Come on, you gotta... Oh,
oh, hide, just hide!

What are you talking about?
What do you mean?

That's Neil.

That's my brand-new client and
I can't have him come in here

and see me eating waffles
with my good buddy.

Why can't I be here?
I mean, we are working together now.

We haven't worked out titles yet,

but I just want to be taken
seriously and professionally...

Neil! How are you?

Sorry, we were, uh, recreating
that scene from Harry Met Sally,

the "ah, ah, ah..."
making a lot of noise.

Um, this is Dave.

Dave recently got into
a parachuting accident

and is looking for a kidney.

I was thinking about donating,
but I'm leaning toward no.

Um, if I may ask,

what is a decorated captain

from New York's 52nd Precinct
Homicide Unit doing in Bishop?

Sometimes when you get close
to the fire, you burn.

Plus I wanted to build something
for myself from the ground up,

which brings me to you.

What about me?

I do my research. On everyone.

I've studied your work.
Your cases, your wins.

I like your style.

My style?

What you did with the Chechen
case during that flood

is nothing short of amazing,
and I think you would be incredible

for what I want to do
with this department,

what I want to accomplish.

Shaw, you're different than
every one of those guys

out there in that bullpen.

You're better.

I-I don't really know
what to say exactly...

Shaw, let me ask you this:

what is it that you want from this job?

Um...

It's okay, you don't have
to have all the answers.

But there is one thing that I'm
just not quite sure about.

What's the deal with your partnership

with this Carter character?

Harley, well, um,
his methods are a little weird,

but he's a good investigator.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Okay, yes,
I have been thought of as paranoid

and an alarmist a couple
of times in my life.

More than 50?

I don't know if you know
how it feels to have

the most important person in your life,
your anchor,

the lifeline to this world,
suddenly disappear.

For me, Gretchen is that person.

This is not about paranoia.

This is real.

Okay, Mr. Jacott.

I'm gonna take your case.

But I need you to do something for me.

Anything.

I know this is weird for you, Neil.

It's weird for me, too.

Other detectives don't do this,
though, right?

You didn't hire other detectives.

You hired me.

I'm an actor, I'm becoming a character.

So, I have to build the character,

and it all starts with
Gretchen's behaviors.

You guys just lay here
and watch the mount?

Oh no, there used to
be a television there.

It disappeared a couple of days ago

along with my saxophone,
my stamp collection,

and most of our silverware.

That's an odd assortment
of items to be stolen.

- Did you report it?
- Of course I did.

They didn't care,
like they didn't care about Gretchen.

I care, Neil.

I care very much.

Thank you.

Good morning!

- Okay.
- Oh, um...

Ah, my closet.

Oh, Mr. Carter, what are you doing?
Mr. Carter?

No. Ah-ah-ah, Gretchen.
Call me Gretchen.

A lot of different sizes here.

Did I recently lose some weight?

Was I stressed out? Was I dieting?

Well, I-I don't know. I don't think so.

I don't recall any weight
loss 'cause she...

You always look great to me.

Thank you.

Oh, oh!

Oh!

- These my parents?
- Uh, yes, they are.

Big anniversary coming
up, 40th, tomorrow.

How did you know that?

Character work.

We're talking about a woman of habits,

a creature of routines.

She gets up, she goes to work,
she comes home from work,

makes dinner, watches TV,

not Call Carter, but that's okay.

Nighttime routine,
moisturizes a little bit,

gets ready for bed,
kisses her husband.

He snores, she complains,

rinse, repeat, same
thing day in, day out.

Never strays far from the familiar,

but Neil drove her
routes to and from work.

But he never found her or the car.

Orange, late model, hatchback.

Her parent's 40th
anniversary was coming up,

she hadn't gotten a gift yet.

She had a day to do it.

The 40th anniversary is the
anniversary of the ruby.

The only store in town
that sells ruby trinkets,

figurines, statuettes, etc.,

is right here at the mall.

So, that's the reason why
she may have wavered

from her norm that
morning, to come here.

That's my hunch, anyway.

Oh, I know 'cause you're,
you're making your hunch face.

I don't have a hunch face.

Oh, you have a hunch face.
It's all like...

What face am I making now?

Because I'm pretty sure
that is Gretchen's car.

Door's open.

Gretchen didn't vanish.

Call Liam Neeson because she was taken.

This is a case!

Oh, this has got to sting
just a little bit!

I will give it to you
that she's missing.

I guess Conspiracy Neil isn't
as conspiracy-y as you thought.

Okay, this is what we
call a crime scene,

where we gather evidence,
we posit a theory,

and then we come up with suspects,

if there was foul play.

I've got something.

Oh!

Wait for it, wait for it...

Oh, it's my parents.

And those are rubies around the frame.

Harley was right.

She was shopping for
her parent's anniversary

when she went missing.

Still no real signs of a struggle.

There's blood here.
Real signs of a struggle.

It's like I'm writing this thing myself.

Whose blood is it?

Well, Carter,
so far I have done the color test

and I've come up with red.

Look, when I have something
you'll be the first to know.

- Really?
- No.

Rude.

Sam, I found a silver shimmering
residue on the seat floor.

I'm going to have it analyzed.

Great.

So, that's what real edge looks like.

I love the smell of yellow
police tape in the morning.

Good work, Shaw.

Uh, actually, we found the car.

Yeah, we found the car.

Who are you again?

- Dave.
- Dave?

- Yeah, Dave.
- Dave?

Dave! Dave-Dave!

Dave?

I don't know what's happened.

Uh, Detective, here are the
witness reports you asked for.

Thank you, Rafalski.

- Anything interesting?
- Actually, yeah.

Good, 'cause it's your case.
Run with it.

Thank you, sir.

This is so great!

It's the three of us again,
the way it should be.

Oh, no-no,
I don't think that's the best idea.

Why?

Because when you find out
who my prime suspect is,

you are not gonna be happy.

I'm telling you, you're
making a mistake.

We'll see.

Neil, why don't you tell me what
really happened with your wife.

Did you get in a fight?

Things get out of hand?
Did you hurt her?

- Neil, don't answer that.
- You're not his lawyer.

I'm his P.I., P.I. client privilege.

- No such thing.
- Are you sure?

I don't want a lawyer, just Harley.

Sam, can I talk to you? Just come here.

No, no, no.

Sam, I got to talk to you, come on.

Listen...

Did you recently change your shampoo?

It smells terrific.

Thanks? What are you...

I'm getting a herbal,
I'm getting like...

cocoa butter, it's really fabulous.

Neil is not your guy.

First of all, he's the husband.

Always person of interest number one.

Second, he's "Conspiracy..."

Uh-uh, Neil, earmuffs.

Third, did I mention he's the husband?

Is that all you got?

Cindy Fusco, who works at The
Potato Wedge at the mall,

remembers seeing a
person in a red jacket

with UFO patches all over it,

circling Gretchen's car the
morning of her disappearance.

Now, where have I seen that before?

Ah, bam, you!

It's the same jacket you wear
every time you come in here

complaining about a
crime being committed.

So are my guys gonna find
that jacket in a dumpster

somewhere covered in blood?

All right, look,
a lot of people own red jackets

and a lot of people have seen UFOs.

Richard Dreyfuss, hello.

Neil will provide his
red jacket for you.

Oh, I don't have it anymore.

What are you talking about, man?

It went missing a few days ago.

Maybe it was stolen, like my saxophone?

Yeah, I didn't take him
for a sax player, either.

We're gonna need you to
corroborate your whereabouts

the night and the morning of
your wife's disappearance.

Who can we ask?

My subconscious?

I was sleeping, alone.

Dreaming a lot.

Was it a sex dream?
Sorry, don't answer that.

Are you playing games with me?

Because all I care about
is finding your wife,

alive if possible,

and every tick of the clock is
a second that I can't afford.

So, move your lips and start talking.

Nice run, Shaw.

I knew you had the stuff!

What, what stuff?

Hey, don't you talk about her stuff!

Not even close.

All right, well, how 'bout now?

Huh? How about them apples?

Carter is holding you back.

Carter, we have your
client in custody now.

So, we can hold him for
24 hours without arrest.

Might as well grab some lunch,

have a lemonade with your friend Dan.

- Dave.
- Yeah, whatever.

We'll call you when
we have a confession.

I didn't do anything!

Hey, I'm so sorry,

did-did you really not
know who I was before?

Have you not watched TV
in the last 20 years?

Okay, Neil, stay strong.

I'm on it.

So, you're saying Gretchen
didn't show up for work

the last few days?

She took an advance on her salary,

and then doesn't show up?

I was worried.

What's the matter with you, man?
Why are you laughing?

Look, I have sensitive arches.
It's very ticklish.

Well, pull it together.
We're trying to find a missing woman,

and exonerate an innocent man.

Right, yes. Let's exonerate.

Let's do this. I'm good.

You said you were scared for her?

Was she scared of something?

Her husband Neil, was
he the romantic type?

Did he send her those flowers?

That's her station, right?

Uh-huh.

No, you can't get up,
your toes aren't dry yet.

It's only a first coat!

"Fondly, Noah".

Who's Noah?

I didn't do anything to my wife.

Who did?

You have got to tell me
something, anything.

She was seeing a doctor.

A doctor? What kind of doctor?

A shrink. I didn't tell Harley

because Gretchen didn't
want anyone to know,

not even her mother.

People in this town judge
you for that kind of thing.

Write his name down. Now.

I don't know, Dr. Fielding,

I mean, the guy shows
up riding a motorcycle

on his first day of work?

What does that say about him?

He's compensating for something,
know what I'm saying?

Well, I don't know this guy.

How long have you been
obsessed with this person?

I met him a few hours ago.

Okay, why don't we
concentrate on you, Dennis.

Who's Dennis?

Oh, ah, just a second, Doc?

What are you doing here?
I could ask you the same thing.

Where did you get that shirt?

I got it from precinct lost and found.

Look, I put some pens in there...

That's Dr. Noah Fielding,
this is Gretchen's shrink.

Dave and I already figured that out.

We know him simply as Noah.

I don't know, Doc,

you've been talking to
everyone about their purpose.

What is he doing?

I guess I just... Have
you ever felt like

you're rolling through
life as a sidekick?

Like, you wouldn't even be the lead

in a movie about your own life?

Okay, Doctor, I'm...

Please, please,
do not tell him you're a cop.

Okay, Dave and I are
onto something here.

Oh, and you gotta use an accent.

What? Why?

- It's more fun.
- No.

My friend Gretchen Jacott...

..told me about this group.

I thought you were Gretchen's friend?

I am Gretchen's friend,

and I don't know either of these people!

Although Dennis there
looks a bit like that guy

from Call Carter, except way more tired

and just like someone whose
life has been run over

by a team of show horses...

Ted, we raise our hands
here when we want to speak.

I don't know who this
Call Carter guy is,

but he sounds pretty cool if you ask me.

Um, hey, Doc, what does it
mean if you have a best friend

and you've been through
everything with them,

and they suddenly turn on you

because somebody rides
into town on a motorcycle?

Turns on you?!

Uh, what about the friend who
thinks they know everything

and is now taking their own
cases like it's some competition

to be star of the town?

Well, this sounds very personal,
not professional.

Is this more personal?

Nobody asked you to stay here

and put your face up on billboards
and bus ads like you're in a movie,

and you never even asked anybody
if they were okay with that.

You're not okay with that?

Well, maybe you're holding me back,
ever think of that?

I'm sorry, Dr. Fielding.

I don't know who these people are,

but they're making me
very uncomfortable.

Did something happen to Gretchen?

- I'm feeling very triggered.
- Ted, don't interrupt!

You two, out there, right now.

So, you don't have a foot fetish?

We're investigating the disappearance
of Gretchen Jacott.

- Gretchen is...
- Come on, like you didn't know!

Was Gretchen having an affair
and her husband found out?

Was she afraid of him?

Maybe he became enraged with jealousy?
Murdered her?

If she had an affair with anyone
it was you, Dr. Fielding!

Okay, that's outrageous.

Oh, is it? You ever fall for a patient?

Or let me rephrase that,

you ever roll a patient up into a carpet

and dump her off a bridge
just like Antonio Sabato, Jr.

did to Christine Baranski

in episode 17, season 4 of Call Carter?

I think you need serious help.

I agree.

Why did you send Gretchen
flowers at work?

Flowers are universal.

I send them to all my patients.

Even Ted?

I knew Gretchen was going through a lot.

The flowers were a simple gesture.

What was she going through?
We need to know.

Doctor-patient confidentiality
does not apply.

I don't think Dr. Fielding
has a problem with that.

She wouldn't open up too much,
not even to me,

but she was having paranoid delusions.

Said she was being followed
by this mysterious black car.

I mean, in Bishop?

Come on, how strange is that?

It's Wes.

I got a positive ID on the
blood in Gretchen's car.

- It was Dr. Fielding
- Is it Neil?

Wow, you're both wrong. It's not human.

Alien?

Alien? No, 'cause that's not possible.

It's deer blood.

Deer blood?

Huh. Okay, well, thanks, Wes.

All right, you and I should
hit this together.

You know what, I think we should
probably just both do our own thing.

Yeah, okay, uh, perfect.

Dave and I will follow
up on that alien lead.

Where is Dave?

I've gotta go.

Uh, Dr. Fielding,
do you do much dream interpretation?

What does it mean if you
keep having a dream

where you have sex
with your best friend?

I'm pretty sure you want to
have sex with your best friend.

Neil's house.

Neil's shed.

Should we go get a warrant,

come back and see what's in here?

What do ya know,
I've got a warrant right here.

I think we just found the
source of that blood in the car,

which puts Neil at the
scene that morning.

Neil bagged a buck and we
may have just bagged Neil.

You get that this looks
really bad, right?

Why didn't you tell me that
Gretchen was in therapy?

I thought we had trust.

Already behind bars, good look for ya.

We'll be taking Neil in for processing.
I'm sorry.

Sorry about what you said this morning?

Uh, um, no...

I just meant I'm sorry that your
case went upside-down on you.

Don't beat yourself up, Carter.

We'll still throw you one if
we get any missing cat cases.

For the record, I love cats.

What happened to you?

I screwed up.

I always thought I was a
good judge of character.

No one is who they seem to be.

Not Dave, not Sam...

Not you.

I don't change. I stay the same.

You can't be the same, Dot.

It's been three months
since Koji's heart attack.

I know you're hurting,
but you won't talk to me.

Everyone grieves in their own way.

I don't need to talk.
I need to finish this puzzle

of nude Burt Reynolds holding a puppy.

He has so much chest hair,
it's all starting to look the same.

I just want to help you, Dot.

If you want to help,

look for pieces that
look like man areola.

At 52nd precinct, we had a tradition.

When you turn a corner in a case

and you can feel the collar,

you owe the whole squad Coney dogs.

Now I'm guessing you all don't
have a Coney dogs around here,

but I'm sure we could
figure something out.

That's Neil's phone.

- It's his wife.
- Answer it.

Neil?

Neil, honey?

It's Gretchen.

I'm okay, but I've been kidnapped.

Let's move, let's move!

Oh, I got his nipple.

There we go.

That piece does not belong there.
Do not force it!

No, it does. I can make it fit.

It's not even a body part.

That's part of the wallpaper.

Dot, it's his nipple.
You can see it right there.

Your grasp of anatomy
leaves much to be desired.

I got this,
it's gonna fit right now, I got it.

I'm gonna make it fit!

Come on, it's gotta fit! Get in! Get in!

What is going on with you?

This has nothing to do with
Burt Reynold's nipple, does it?

Yesterday at breakfast,
you set out three plates.

One for me, one for you,

one for Koji.

Okay, yes, it will take some time for me

to adjust to him not being there,

but Koji and I had a deal.

We were grateful for every
day we spent together,

but we agreed no matter who went first,

the other must live their best life.

I honor my deals.

You and Koji had so much
time with each other,

but relationships in my life,

Koji,

my mom...

I'm afraid I'm going
to lose you too, Dot.

I gotta go.

Do not touch Burt's
butt until I get back.

That's mine.

The money in the duffle bag
is to be put in the trash can

directly in front of the
old C.J.'s Variety store.

We'll be covered on the eastern,
western and southern blocks.

We'll have SWAT on the rooftops.

Every available bit of manpower.

Sorry to interrupt, sir,

but isn't that a little bit aggressive?

I mean, the call
specifically said no cops.

No reinforcements.

No one but Neil.

Are you trying to get Gretchen killed?

Mr. Carter, how many K&Rs
have you been a part of?

Because I've personally commanded nine.

I've personally been a part of two.

ONE WAS A GUEST SPOT
ON NCIS: Los Angeles,

and the other was a play.
It was a high school play.

But if you don't think the
stakes were high that night,

then you don't know high
school theater, my friend.

You think this is...

Sir, the context of his
ridiculous answer aside,

I know that you are the expert here,

but it is my instinct
that the caller meant it

when he said he was gonna kill Gretchen.

So, what are you suggesting we do, Shaw?

I think we let Carter do his thing.

Very well.

Uh, Neil, would you stand up a second?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

- What are you...
- What are you...

- What is he...
- What is he...

- What?
- What?

Harley, I just, uh,
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

You don't have to apologize.

Karaoke isn't for everyone,
you did your best Eminem.

You couldn't have predicted
that kind of backlash.

I'm trying to apologize
for mistrusting you

and your instincts on the case.

You're good.

You're really good.

We're good together.

Couldn't agree more.

Pay attention, Carter.

The kidnapper could be anybody.

All right, I'm approaching the target.

Saw the garbage can,

and making the drop.

Sam, it's Ted from therapy.

Whoa-whoa, what's going on here?
Who the hell is Ted?

Carter, get out of there.

Come on, Sam, Ted is
the kidnapper, no way!

Harley, do it, just turn and go.

Ted!

It's me, Dennis!

Dennis-Dennis as Neil.

Dennis from therapy!

Ted, you don't have to do this, okay?

Just tell us where Gretchen is.

I can help you.

Yeah, that's it.

Let's talk through this, okay?

Whoa, ugh!

Don't move!

Out of the way, out of the way!

Clear the way, clear the way!

You know what I love
about these squad cars?

They're soundproof.

- So, why don't you just...
- Hey, what's up, guys!

Sorry, am I interrupting something?

I thought maybe I could be of help

since Ted and I were
in therapy together.

We have a lot in common.

Listen, Chief,

just give me five minutes.

If I don't find out where Gretchen is,

then you can squish his knees
with your huge, huge hands.

You see the size of his hands?
They're massive.

Come on, let's go hand to hand. Do it!

Okay, Carter.

Five minutes, why not?

But if you don't deliver,
you promise you'll go play detective

in somebody else's sandbox?

Okay.

See you around, Teddy.

Okay, Ted, I know you care
about Gretchen very much

and kidnapping her was not your idea.

You're the kind of guy
who does what he's told.

You're a people pleaser.

Pushover, easily manipulated.

How did you know that?
'Cause, 'cause you're a detective?

Because I'm an actor, that's my job.

It's also my job to look
amazing all the time

and always know where
my light is coming from,

and never, ever go to
set for a rehearsal

until your co-star is
standing right there

even if the assistant director is like,

"They just left hair and makeup
and they're headed to set."

Do not believe them, they are lying.

But mostly it's my job to study people.

I want to help you. I do.

But I have to protect someone.

Who would you be protecting?

Not the bad guys, that's not you.

Gretchen.

You're protecting Gretchen.

I found a silver,
shimmery residue on the seat floor.

The silver residue in the car,

that was from scratch-off tickets!

She took an advance on her salary,

and then she doesn't show up?
I was worried.

No, there used to be a television there.

Disappeared a couple of days ago,

along with my saxophone,
stamp collection,

and most of the silverware.

Gretchen had a dirty little secret,
and not the good kind.

Gretchen had a gambling problem.

She took an advance on her salary

so she could win back some money.

She's the one who stole her own
things to fund her addiction.

Wow, this acting stuff is really good.

Gretchen faked her own kidnapping.

She used the buck's
blood from the bucket

to make it look like there was
a struggle when she was taken!

I was just supposed to be the
guy collecting the ransom.

I didn't know about anything else,
I swear to you!

I believe you, Ted, I do.

But you gotta tell me where Gretchen is.

If you help me, I will help Gretchen.

I promise.

She planned and staged
the whole thing herself.

She-she's holed up in a
motel room waiting for me.

She doesn't know the drop
didn't go as planned.

She'll be there.

Boss, she's not here.

She's in the wind.

I swear to you, this is not
what we planned to have happen!

I really have no idea
where Gretchen is now!

She was supposed to
meet me at the motel.

Neil, do you recognize this man?

He was caught on surveillance video

lingering around the motel.

Sorry, I-I don't.

None of this makes sense.

Why would my Gretchen do this?

Why would she go to such
lengths to hide her problems?

I would've understood,
I would've helped her.

I know.

That's Gretchen.

Triangulate this call!

Answer it, put in on speaker.

Hello?

Neil, honey?

It's me, Gretchen.

Neil, you have to listen to me.

I've been kidnapped...

for real this time.

I'm okay.

But I'm scared.

- I owe him a lot of money.
- Who?

- Neil, Neil!
- Give me that!

- Gretchen?
- All right, listen up.

I'm gonna call you back in one hour

and I'm gonna tell you
where to leave the money.

Do as I say and your wife will live.

- If not...
- Gretchen?! Gretchen!

Who's this man? It's the loan shark.

He must've tracked her from the motel.

He's the one on their
surveillance video.

Her time was up,
she didn't have the money, he took her.

But now, the ransom is real.

Couldn't get a location.

How could you not get the
location with all that time?

Time wasn't the issue,
the target was moving.

- Because they're driving.
- Do you think?

Now, where does that leave us?

There are thousands of cars out there.

I picked up a kickback from the engine,

likely from a modified muffler.

You're looking for a black car.

Dot, how do you just appear in places?

Well, back at the house
you made such a big deal,

so worried you wouldn't see me again.

Who is this tiny woman?

How do you know it's a black car?

Because I saw it sitting
outside as you left.

It looked like it was watching you.

Then, it took off.

Her loan shark was looking for Gretchen

and he knew I was, too.

I saw the same car at the
church with Dr. Fielding.

Holy crap, Neil was right.

So, we just wait for the
money-drop location?

Mm-mm, we get to him
before he calls back.

And how do you suppose we do that?

You paid for your own chopper?

I had a little extra
change in my piggy bank.

And by piggy bank,
I mean a TV movie I did with lone Skye,

where I played her lover with amnesia.

I couldn't remember any of my lines.

Whoa, whoa, sorry, Chief.

Little tight in here right now.

We'll see you on the
ground for the take-down.

So, what fun sites of Bishop
do you guys want to see first?

You hired a tourist chopper?

Get to the chopper!

Nothing, Sam, nothing.

I feel like we've just
been up here counting cars.

I know.

Wait, wait.

That one, that sedan.

Fully tinted windows?

Not a common extra here in Bishop.

Good for hiding hostages.

That's gonna be our guy, Sam.

Where is it headed?

What is east of Dowling Road?

That's just country roads.

Ha ha!

It's Boyle on his bike!

Hey, Shaw, hello.

Chief, where are you headed?

I heard you guys got some
great outdoor farmer's markets,

but I'm also chasing down a black car

with a maniac loan shark
and female hostage.

He's running parallel to
you right now on Dowling.

Can you speed up?

Let me talk to him,
just give me the phone!

Let me talk to him! Hey, Boyle.
Harley here!

Dowling's gonna dead-end and
our guy's gonna get away.

My GPS tells me that I
can go south on Bertram

and cut him off on Junction 14.

Your GPS didn't grow up here.

It would tell you that Dowling dead-ends

and it turns into a dirt path
that leads to the Stoops' quarry

where Dave and I used to
throw pennies and make wishes.

So, unless you got a bag of pennies,

our loan shark is gonna
find out the same thing.

You have to make a right on
Bertram where he's all yours.

Harley, are you sure?
He's one street past Hiff Road.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Oof!

Keep your hands where I can see 'em!
Keep 'em up!

Get out of the car! Get out!

Hey, I'll see you in a sec.

Oh!

So glad you're okay.

Carter, this how he
handles all his cases?

No, different every time.

He likes to keep us guessing.

But somehow, we always end up here.

Hey, coming in for the
good stuff, you two!

We are so, so grateful to you.

What can we do to repay you?

That reminds me, I have a check for you.

No, no, no, come on,
this one's pro Bono.

You are my first solo P.I. case,

and plus, cases that involve
love should not cost money.

And also, I slept with your husband.

It didn't mean anything.

It was an acting exercise.

Good for you.

All right, you two,
go walk off into the sunset.

This is your exit shot.

Can we stop on the way
home for scratch-offs?

It's triple payout today.

We're all works in progress.

Hey, Dave!

Sam is on her way over,

but I am gonna eat this
entire box of Schimm's donuts

if you don't get here soon.

Okay, please, send help now.

Whoa, Dave, Dave, Dave!

I'm looking at Chief Boyle.

He has a machete.

He is hacking his way toward me.

Okay, if I don't call
back in five minutes,

make sure to send the hot photo
of me to the Emmy memorial.

Chief.

Carter.

Did you just hack your way
over here from your place?

Your place is on my morning route.

Um, you live 12 kilometers from here

in a, in a boat in the marina...

You know, I got something
to confess to you.

I do know your show, Call Carter.

Oh-oh, I knew it.

You're a fan!

Hey, man, we gotta do,
we gotta do a selfie.

Okay, let's do like, um, finger guns?

Say "law enforcement"!

You know, us guys on the job,

we always talk about how
some shows get it right.

You know, how the writers,
the actors, they get in our heads,

paint the truth up there on that screen.

And there are some shows
that don't get it right,

and we don't watch those shows.

See you around, Carter.

Uh, well, uh, which one is Carter?

'Cause we have technical advisors.

Harley!

Oh, my God,
thank God you're still in one piece.

Hey, man, you've got to see this.

I think I just took myself
out of sidekick territory.

Check it out.

If this is your report card,
I'm not just gonna sign it.

So, I kinda had a
breakthrough in fake therapy.

I took the initiative of
looking into our new chief.

As you'll see there,

there's a ten-month gap in
his r�sum� before got here.

And you'll also see that Chief Boyle

didn't leave the 52nd on his own terms,

but as the result of the
sealed disciplinary hearing.

You were right, man.

Joyce Warwick Boyle may not
be exactly who he says he is.

You know what I would call
this interesting wrinkle?

Great work, partner.

No?

You're right. It was wrong.

It just came out. I...

I didn't even think.
It's too soon for that.

No, no! I didn't mean no as in no...

It felt wrong. It felt wrong.

So, you're really gonna
stick around, huh?

You're not gonna miss Hollywood?

I am gonna bring Hollywood with me.

Plus you two need me on the poster.

Oh, I'm on the poster?

Slightly smaller, just behind me.

All right.

Hey listen, I don't know
what's gonna happen with us,

but I do know the seeds
have been planted,

potential for riveting twists and turns.

If this was my show,

I'd say it's gonna be
an interesting season.

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