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1
00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:49,224
Damn, Jesus.
2
00:00:49,248 --> 00:00:52,494
Hey, Lloyd. If you see the one
time, you ain't seen me.
3
00:00:52,518 --> 00:00:53,961
Help me get rid of this hangover,
4
00:00:53,985 --> 00:00:55,363
I'll do anything you want me to do.
5
00:00:55,387 --> 00:00:56,564
Done.
6
00:01:00,425 --> 00:01:03,670
Oh! Jesus! What you do to me?
7
00:01:03,694 --> 00:01:05,906
Oh, man,
I can read that sign over there.
8
00:01:05,930 --> 00:01:07,341
Lookie there.
9
00:01:07,365 --> 00:01:08,542
I'm sober.
10
00:01:08,566 --> 00:01:12,279
Sobriety sucks, and I stink.
11
00:01:55,312 --> 00:01:56,755
Jesus Christ.
12
00:01:56,779 --> 00:02:00,197
All right there, you big, old pimp?
13
00:02:07,824 --> 00:02:10,002
What's happening, pimps?
14
00:02:18,851 --> 00:02:25,001
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
15
00:02:26,512 --> 00:02:28,155
So, anybody want to explain this?
16
00:02:28,156 --> 00:02:29,834
As the court can see
from the defendant's
17
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,335
medical and criminal record,
18
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:34,304
this man has a very clear
history of mental illness.
19
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,807
He thinks he's Jesus Christ
and has magical powers.
20
00:02:36,831 --> 00:02:38,208
He is Jesus.
21
00:02:38,232 --> 00:02:39,844
Your Honor, this mother[BLEEP]
right here...
22
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:43,247
Watch your language.
That's your first warning.
23
00:02:43,271 --> 00:02:44,481
Darn it.
24
00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:47,384
So, I see here that you have
no birth records,
25
00:02:47,408 --> 00:02:52,056
no Social Security, no ID whatsoever.
26
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:57,061
I'm Jesus H. Christ...
Son of Man, king of kings,
27
00:02:57,085 --> 00:03:00,330
lord of lords, and
- the most mother[BLEEP] high...
28
00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:02,166
Second warning. I am the most
29
00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:04,101
mother-effing high in this courtroom.
30
00:03:04,125 --> 00:03:06,236
One more time,
and I will hold you in contempt.
31
00:03:06,260 --> 00:03:10,546
Now, Jesus, why were you
running from the cops?
32
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:16,280
'Cause I'm black.
They cops, I'm black.
33
00:03:16,304 --> 00:03:17,948
They show up, I run.
34
00:03:17,972 --> 00:03:21,151
Well, it says here that
you fled from a drug raid.
35
00:03:21,175 --> 00:03:22,886
Oh, yeah, that's just what I do.
36
00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:24,621
I was kicking it with the homies
in the streets
37
00:03:24,645 --> 00:03:26,022
that need that guidance,
38
00:03:26,046 --> 00:03:27,991
and it's a better lifestyle
out there for them.
39
00:03:28,015 --> 00:03:29,626
All they got to do
is just believe in Pops.
40
00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:33,697
So, you were just out there,
spreading the good word,
41
00:03:33,721 --> 00:03:36,365
and then, the cops came and
they started messin' with you?
42
00:03:36,389 --> 00:03:38,902
That part, right there, Your Honor.
43
00:03:38,926 --> 00:03:42,739
May I please stand
to address the court?
44
00:03:42,763 --> 00:03:44,440
Sure.
45
00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:50,113
Your Honor, I know
this is your courtroom,
46
00:03:50,137 --> 00:03:53,817
but in all honesty, my
righteousness and divine wisdom
47
00:03:53,841 --> 00:03:57,821
supercedes that of Your Honor's
in heaven and on earth,
48
00:03:57,845 --> 00:03:59,522
so let me just say this real quick.
49
00:03:59,546 --> 00:04:02,025
We got to do something
about this massive incarceration
50
00:04:02,049 --> 00:04:03,259
of people of color.
51
00:04:03,283 --> 00:04:06,895
That's the moral issue
of our motherf...
52
00:04:06,919 --> 00:04:09,865
E-Excuse me. Of our generation.
53
00:04:09,889 --> 00:04:12,168
And we got to figure
something out and get real
54
00:04:12,192 --> 00:04:13,369
and chill the f...
55
00:04:15,128 --> 00:04:17,406
We got to chill out, Your Honor.
56
00:04:17,430 --> 00:04:21,577
See, Judge, I don't know you...
Well, actually, I do know you.
57
00:04:21,601 --> 00:04:24,313
When you were six years old,
you decided to be a judge
58
00:04:24,337 --> 00:04:27,383
'cause you wanted to put the
Joker away, once and for all.
59
00:04:27,407 --> 00:04:29,952
Now, I know you're not
a bad person, Your Honor.
60
00:04:29,976 --> 00:04:32,021
But you're not putting the Joker away.
61
00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:34,957
You're putting away poor people.
62
00:04:34,981 --> 00:04:37,592
Stop destroying families and children.
63
00:04:37,616 --> 00:04:41,496
Stop the privatization and
profiteering of human struggle.
64
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,866
You got the opportunity
to do the right thing,
65
00:04:43,890 --> 00:04:46,301
right now, Your Honor,
and gain the favor
66
00:04:46,325 --> 00:04:49,071
of your creator and mine,
God, up in heaven.
67
00:04:49,095 --> 00:04:52,274
When you were young,
you wanted to help people.
68
00:04:52,298 --> 00:04:55,944
It's not too late, Bubbles.
69
00:04:55,968 --> 00:05:00,615
I'm dropping all charges
against Mr. Christ.
70
00:05:00,639 --> 00:05:02,417
Go help the homies.
71
00:05:02,441 --> 00:05:04,820
That's good shit, Your Honor!
That's what I'm talking about!
72
00:05:04,844 --> 00:05:08,057
Profanity again!
Third strike... six months.
73
00:05:08,081 --> 00:05:11,125
Court's adjourned. And I quit.
74
00:05:11,149 --> 00:05:14,929
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.
75
00:05:14,953 --> 00:05:16,798
Sorry to hit you up with the lock-up,
76
00:05:16,822 --> 00:05:19,067
but... knee-jerk reaction.
77
00:05:19,091 --> 00:05:21,436
It's all good, Your Honor.
I got some work to do inside.
78
00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:23,871
I got to minister to the homies.
You feel me?
79
00:05:23,895 --> 00:05:25,707
So, Tyrone,
come on, let's do this, man.
80
00:05:25,731 --> 00:05:26,874
I got work to do, pimp.
81
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,844
Hey, what's up, fellas?
Your boy is back!
82
00:05:29,868 --> 00:05:32,880
Y'all ready for some good word? Yeah!
83
00:05:34,773 --> 00:05:37,219
Hey, what's up? Rodney! My guy!
84
00:05:37,243 --> 00:05:38,820
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
85
00:05:38,844 --> 00:05:40,555
Now stay strong, Lambert,
and remember...
86
00:05:40,579 --> 00:05:42,456
if dude throw crap in your face again,
87
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,825
he just chilling with
the pain of incarceration.
88
00:05:44,849 --> 00:05:47,160
At least you get
to go home every night.
89
00:05:47,184 --> 00:05:50,163
Boonie! What's happening, Phil?
90
00:05:50,187 --> 00:05:54,768
Jee! That's what. Welcome home, baby.
91
00:05:54,792 --> 00:05:56,036
Is this Nessa?
92
00:05:56,060 --> 00:05:58,205
It is! Hi, Jesus!
93
00:05:58,229 --> 00:06:01,007
Yeah, man. This is
- Shalinka's cousin from Texas.
94
00:06:01,031 --> 00:06:04,445
She just got a new waitress job
at Miss Emma's Fish N' Pool.
95
00:06:04,469 --> 00:06:05,713
Yep.
96
00:06:05,737 --> 00:06:08,616
Home of the best
fish sandwich in the city!
97
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:09,950
You know!
98
00:06:09,974 --> 00:06:11,418
Yeah. How you like it over there?
99
00:06:11,442 --> 00:06:13,454
I love it. Thank you, Jesus.
You answered my prayers.
100
00:06:13,478 --> 00:06:15,889
Girl, I've been listening
to your prayers for ever.
101
00:06:15,913 --> 00:06:17,457
What?
102
00:06:17,481 --> 00:06:19,392
I was gonna borrow her car
and come pick you up, but...
103
00:06:19,416 --> 00:06:22,762
Yeah, yeah. I was like,
"What? You picking up Jesus,
104
00:06:22,786 --> 00:06:24,397
my Lord and Savior?
105
00:06:24,421 --> 00:06:25,998
Well, then, nigga, I'm driving."
106
00:06:26,022 --> 00:06:28,033
Girl, come get some of this God-love.
107
00:06:29,793 --> 00:06:32,438
Yeah. I was telling her you
might could even her out, man.
108
00:06:32,462 --> 00:06:34,707
Yeah, but...
but what did I say, Boonie?
109
00:06:34,731 --> 00:06:37,677
Okay, there's big-titty bitches,
there's small-titty bitches,
110
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,345
then, there's me.
111
00:06:39,369 --> 00:06:41,514
It ain't no need to even me out
'cause this how God made me.
112
00:06:41,538 --> 00:06:44,350
You know, I'm big, I'm small,
and niggas like it all.
113
00:06:45,776 --> 00:06:48,788
You know, Pops would really
appreciate you saying that.
114
00:06:48,812 --> 00:06:51,123
Thank you, Jesus.
115
00:06:51,147 --> 00:06:53,358
What's up, Boon? You good?
You look stressed, dawg.
116
00:06:53,382 --> 00:06:55,795
Hey, man, everything cool, man.
Le-Let's get out of here.
117
00:06:55,819 --> 00:06:57,029
You got some weed?
118
00:06:57,053 --> 00:06:59,464
Oh, you know I got some fine shit!
119
00:06:59,488 --> 00:07:01,333
Oh, yeah?
120
00:07:01,357 --> 00:07:03,335
- Yeah.
- Some real burning bush?
121
00:07:06,329 --> 00:07:09,574
Here he come. All hail
The Great Enabler.
122
00:07:09,598 --> 00:07:11,877
How are you gonna come at
your boy like that, Shalinka?
123
00:07:11,901 --> 00:07:13,512
I just got out.
124
00:07:13,536 --> 00:07:16,816
Jesus, you're not supposed
to be in in the first place.
125
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,418
Do you read the Bible?
126
00:07:19,442 --> 00:07:21,187
Nessa, shouldn't you be at work?
127
00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:23,154
I just gave them a ride over.
128
00:07:23,178 --> 00:07:24,722
You know I've been waiting
to meet this nigga.
129
00:07:24,746 --> 00:07:27,558
Nessa, take your
- lopsided titty ass to work,
130
00:07:27,582 --> 00:07:29,527
and no more calling Jesus "nigga."
131
00:07:29,551 --> 00:07:32,864
All right, all right.
I'm gone. Bye, Jesus.
132
00:07:32,888 --> 00:07:34,966
Bye, Nessa. Hey, could you
bring your boy
133
00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:36,901
a couple of them fish sandwiches?
134
00:07:36,925 --> 00:07:39,003
Anything for my Lord and Savior.
135
00:07:39,027 --> 00:07:41,672
Girl, you got major blessings on...
136
00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:43,107
Thank you.
137
00:07:44,566 --> 00:07:46,777
You not setting any kind of example.
138
00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:49,513
Shalinka, you know
I love you though, right?
139
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,950
If you loved me, Jesus,
you'd bring me a man
140
00:07:51,974 --> 00:07:55,820
with healthy cholesterol levels
and some kind of bank account.
141
00:07:55,844 --> 00:07:58,455
Why are you trying to
embarrass me in front of Jesus?
142
00:07:58,479 --> 00:07:59,756
You know I'm here every day
trying to be a good father.
143
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:03,126
Jesus Christ, wait. We got a problem.
144
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,229
- What is it?
- Jesus Christ.
145
00:08:05,253 --> 00:08:07,998
Why are you always coming down
so hard on my man?
146
00:08:08,022 --> 00:08:09,599
He doing the best he can.
147
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:12,169
Look, he got him a security job.
148
00:08:12,193 --> 00:08:13,837
Dig that. He's a working man.
149
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,538
He working for his mama!
150
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:16,740
Doing security!
151
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:18,275
Selling weed!
152
00:08:18,299 --> 00:08:22,346
Okay, so look. Teresa said,
"Just scare their ass", right?
153
00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:24,414
- Mm-hmm.
- So, what you're going to do is,
154
00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:26,516
just whiz it past the fat one's head.
155
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:30,053
I ain't worried about
shooting with Jesus right there.
156
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:32,489
He'd be mad, but I mean,
say a couple of prayers,
157
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,991
and Jesus always ready
to forgive a bitch.
158
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,425
That's, like, his thing.
159
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:39,095
And you know what?
I'm tired of being scared
160
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,396
and looking over my shoulder
161
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,298
every time I leave the damn house
162
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,133
because of your mama's enemies.
163
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,202
And Jesus, how did you not know this?
164
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:49,571
Look, Shalinka, I just don't go
around reading people's minds,
165
00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:51,374
invading their privacy and things.
166
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:54,643
It don't happen like that.
Only Pops is omniscient.
167
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,178
Just say "all-knowing".
168
00:08:56,202 --> 00:09:00,216
If I wanted big words,
I'd talk to the White Jesus.
169
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,618
Listen, here's the update...
170
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:04,186
Tudi is out-of-control.
171
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,689
Jesus Christ is supposed
to already know this.
172
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:10,191
Oh, shit, you shot him!
173
00:09:10,215 --> 00:09:11,727
My bad.
174
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:18,434
You bitches better run!
175
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,903
Mommy, Pops got shot again?
176
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:22,805
Yeah.
177
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:24,005
Is he gonna die?
178
00:09:24,029 --> 00:09:26,074
Jesus can save him if he wants.
179
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:29,344
Come on in, so you can wash your
hands and get ready for lunch.
180
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:31,518
Them bitches shot me!
181
00:09:38,377 --> 00:09:39,655
You good, Boon?
182
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,828
Hey, much better. Thanks.
183
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:48,729
Damn. So, the city
condemns the old building
184
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:51,376
and makes the landlord relocate
all the tenants here?
185
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,511
Hey, it's a whole new building.
186
00:09:53,535 --> 00:09:55,646
I mean, brah, this is
a different building for sure,
187
00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:58,416
but this mother[BLEEP]
far from new, my guy.
188
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:01,519
You know, Fish bounced and took
that job on the pipeline.
189
00:10:01,543 --> 00:10:04,255
You know a brother like me had
to get his own spot.
190
00:10:04,279 --> 00:10:08,225
Say, word! I see you, boy,
making boss moves,
191
00:10:08,249 --> 00:10:10,494
you big old pimp, you!
You're coming up.
192
00:10:10,518 --> 00:10:12,496
Jesus, his ass ain't coming up.
193
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,697
This fool's mama paying for his rent.
194
00:10:14,721 --> 00:10:16,166
Ms. Tudi?
195
00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:18,268
Yeah, you know, as long as I
sling her low-budget weed,
196
00:10:18,292 --> 00:10:19,669
store some product...
197
00:10:22,696 --> 00:10:25,775
BLACK JESUS: Ambro!
Hold the [BLEEP] up, brah!
198
00:10:27,201 --> 00:10:29,046
Word Keepers...
199
00:10:29,070 --> 00:10:30,780
stand down.
200
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,816
Hey, man. Y'all chill
the [BLEEP] out, too, man.
201
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,119
Who the [BLEEP] are you?
How do you know me?
202
00:10:36,143 --> 00:10:39,022
How?!
203
00:10:39,046 --> 00:10:41,323
You, tour of duty in Afghanistan.
204
00:10:41,347 --> 00:10:44,326
Me, the dude that hear you
crying every night,
205
00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:47,931
"Lord Jesus Christ, please get
me out this [BLEEP] war zone!"
206
00:10:47,955 --> 00:10:49,933
What? Nigga, that don't be me.
207
00:10:49,957 --> 00:10:52,602
I love war. Semper Fi, bitch!
208
00:10:52,626 --> 00:10:54,971
Look, I don't know who the
[BLEEP] your fake Jesus ass is,
209
00:10:54,995 --> 00:10:56,472
but you look like an intruder.
210
00:10:56,496 --> 00:10:58,608
And it's been some break-ins,
and you fit the description.
211
00:10:58,632 --> 00:11:01,644
Yeah, right, man. Like it's
a lot of 6'7" mother[BLEEP]
212
00:11:01,668 --> 00:11:04,180
Rocking robes, sandals, and perms
213
00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:06,649
- out here stirring things up.
- You'd be surprised.
214
00:11:06,673 --> 00:11:08,250
Well, what's up with
all this firepower, man?!
215
00:11:08,274 --> 00:11:09,552
What's happening?!
216
00:11:09,576 --> 00:11:11,054
Well, there's been
- so much crime around here
217
00:11:11,078 --> 00:11:12,488
in the new Compton Gardens
218
00:11:12,512 --> 00:11:14,355
that it's looking like the
Carter from "New Jack City."
219
00:11:14,379 --> 00:11:16,758
So, as new head of security
of the complex,
220
00:11:16,782 --> 00:11:20,462
I have formed the Word Keepers,
and we're here
221
00:11:20,486 --> 00:11:22,664
to protect the community
in the name of freedom.
222
00:11:22,688 --> 00:11:23,865
That's our word!
223
00:11:23,889 --> 00:11:25,767
That's our word!
224
00:11:25,791 --> 00:11:29,537
Hold up, wait a minute.
Ambro's head of security here?
225
00:11:29,561 --> 00:11:32,474
Man, Lloyd crazy ass made him
head of security, man.
226
00:11:32,498 --> 00:11:34,375
You know he managing
that building now.
227
00:11:34,399 --> 00:11:39,081
Pops really does move in strange
and mysterious-ass ways, my guy.
228
00:11:39,105 --> 00:11:41,984
"Strange and mysterious", my ass.
229
00:11:42,008 --> 00:11:43,752
Managing shit is a pain.
230
00:11:43,776 --> 00:11:46,454
But you got that, though!
Look at you, Lloyd!
231
00:11:46,478 --> 00:11:48,389
Oh, man, Vic's so proud of you.
232
00:11:48,413 --> 00:11:50,057
- How do you know?
- Pops told me.
233
00:11:50,081 --> 00:11:53,094
He be chilling with Vic all
the time, man. Vic doing good.
234
00:11:53,118 --> 00:11:54,662
Vic ended up in heaven?
235
00:11:54,686 --> 00:11:56,463
He didn't believe
in your meddling ass.
236
00:11:56,487 --> 00:11:58,232
But he had love for Pops, though,
237
00:11:58,256 --> 00:12:02,169
and that's job one for a ticket
to a splendiferous afterlife.
238
00:12:02,193 --> 00:12:03,938
Vic is up there with the angels.
239
00:12:03,962 --> 00:12:06,841
I'm here with a bunch of
unwanted responsibilities.
240
00:12:06,865 --> 00:12:09,376
I'm so happy your black ass is back
241
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,346
so you can take this
curse of sobriety off of me,
242
00:12:12,370 --> 00:12:16,483
and I can, once again,
feel the alcoholic bliss
243
00:12:16,507 --> 00:12:19,787
of my main man, Mister Darby.
244
00:12:19,811 --> 00:12:22,856
Come on. I'm ready.
245
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,457
Come on, Jesus.
246
00:12:24,481 --> 00:12:27,360
Look, man. Pops heals people.
He don't make 'em sick.
247
00:12:27,384 --> 00:12:30,229
Your alcoholism was a sickness,
man. You good now.
248
00:12:30,253 --> 00:12:32,899
But it was a sickness that I enjoyed!
249
00:12:32,923 --> 00:12:36,569
But since you can't help me,
I got to do this.
250
00:12:37,695 --> 00:12:39,973
Damn, Lloyd,
- what the [BLEEP] you doing?
251
00:12:39,997 --> 00:12:42,108
That look like a damn musket.
252
00:12:42,132 --> 00:12:45,645
Ambro told me guns are exciting.
253
00:12:45,669 --> 00:12:48,614
I got my Roscoe, and I want to
see if this will give me
254
00:12:48,638 --> 00:12:50,383
the same thrill as Darby.
255
00:12:50,407 --> 00:12:52,351
I'll see y'all inside.
256
00:12:52,375 --> 00:12:53,887
Y'all ain't about to get me
shot up out here
257
00:12:53,911 --> 00:12:58,558
with "G.I. Joke"
- and a damn Negro Paul Revere.
258
00:12:58,582 --> 00:13:00,059
I'm going in.
259
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:03,196
Teresa, he out, and he's slingin'.
260
00:13:03,220 --> 00:13:04,463
Hm. Hm!
261
00:13:04,487 --> 00:13:06,732
With his fine, tall ass.
262
00:13:06,756 --> 00:13:09,101
Stop calling Jesus "fine"!
263
00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:10,436
Damn, bitch.
264
00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:14,006
Point is, nigga can't just
come out of jail
265
00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:16,275
and start working for Ms. Tudi.
266
00:13:16,299 --> 00:13:19,445
We got to shut
- this shit down right now.
267
00:13:19,469 --> 00:13:21,514
Now, y'all bitches do that thing, hm?
268
00:13:21,538 --> 00:13:24,250
Y'all sent that message?
Oh, hell yeah.
269
00:13:24,274 --> 00:13:26,452
Yeah, we sent the message. Yeah.
270
00:13:26,476 --> 00:13:30,756
But, we had, uh...
271
00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:33,291
kind of shot fat boy.
272
00:13:33,315 --> 00:13:35,894
Oh, shit. You shot fat boy!
273
00:13:35,918 --> 00:13:39,932
You were supposed to just
send a warning shot!
274
00:13:39,956 --> 00:13:41,100
Is he dead?
275
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,601
Naw, naw, naw.
276
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,103
It probably just grazed
a layer of fat or something.
277
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,570
He'll be all right.
278
00:13:45,594 --> 00:13:48,040
Y'all bitches can't even
[BLEEP] up right. Jesus Christ.
279
00:13:48,064 --> 00:13:50,575
Fine-ass nigga. Oof.
280
00:13:50,599 --> 00:13:53,812
Make a bitch want to
get her life together.
281
00:13:53,836 --> 00:13:55,914
Give me this! I was done, anyway.
282
00:14:01,844 --> 00:14:04,989
Oh! Boonie, what is this monkey fur
283
00:14:05,013 --> 00:14:08,460
you got me smoking, man? Aah!
284
00:14:08,484 --> 00:14:12,464
Never, ever in my eternal
existence have I ever tasted
285
00:14:12,488 --> 00:14:15,600
some bud so bad. Your moms grew that?
286
00:14:15,624 --> 00:14:17,835
That's what y'all moving
on the streets right now?
287
00:14:17,859 --> 00:14:20,739
Yeah. It's all part
of Mom's five-year plan.
288
00:14:20,763 --> 00:14:23,141
See, her house is the grow op.
289
00:14:23,165 --> 00:14:25,610
This here is the distribution center.
290
00:14:25,634 --> 00:14:28,913
She's already using income
from this to build inventory
291
00:14:28,937 --> 00:14:30,915
to put into other income streams.
292
00:14:30,939 --> 00:14:33,652
It's like she's a business genius.
293
00:14:33,676 --> 00:14:36,120
Just 'cause your mama taught you
the words "inventory"
294
00:14:36,144 --> 00:14:39,523
and "income stream" don't make
her no business genius.
295
00:14:39,547 --> 00:14:41,358
Your mama a damn criminal, Boon.
296
00:14:41,382 --> 00:14:43,460
That's my mama!
297
00:14:43,484 --> 00:14:44,928
Well, then, she need to act like one!
298
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:48,399
She got you living up in here
like "Menace II Society".
299
00:14:48,423 --> 00:14:52,068
And, Jesus, why don't you
lead by example?
300
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:56,507
All these followers...
maybe if you get a job,
301
00:14:56,531 --> 00:14:59,677
these niggas will follow
your ass down there
302
00:14:59,701 --> 00:15:01,144
and get one, too!
303
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:05,316
You 2,000 years old and still
want to act like a damn child.
304
00:15:05,340 --> 00:15:07,551
And this fool right here,
305
00:15:07,575 --> 00:15:09,586
even if he wanted to stop, he can't.
306
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:13,357
'Cause his evil-ass mama
got this nigga under contract.
307
00:15:13,381 --> 00:15:14,891
Wait, wha...
308
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:18,028
Boon, your mom's
got you under contract?
309
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:24,534
Oh, yeah, Boon is right!
I have expanded my operation.
310
00:15:24,558 --> 00:15:27,670
Ms. Tudi, you got a whole
99-cent store up in this piece.
311
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,073
That's what I'm talking about.
Lookie here.
312
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,042
I got the jewelry. Mm-hmm.
313
00:15:32,066 --> 00:15:33,776
Little watches and stuff.
And look at the back.
314
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:37,214
Watch out, boy. Look at them
bags, and check out them shoes.
315
00:15:37,238 --> 00:15:38,781
Those are counterfeit.
316
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:41,189
Yeah, but the average
mother[BLEEP] don't know that.
317
00:15:43,244 --> 00:15:44,721
Your Louboutins are bleeding.
318
00:15:44,745 --> 00:15:47,690
Okay, so the paint ain't dried
yet, but listen, the key is,
319
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,159
is we need to get
- this stuff out on the street
320
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,693
before them Yoga Bitches.
321
00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:54,029
Ms. Tudi, I think this feud
you got going on with Teresa
322
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:56,465
and the yoga ladies is really
hurting the community right now.
323
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,934
- You got to chill out.
- I got shot this morning.
324
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,137
Aww, you did? Nigga, they was
just trying to scare you.
325
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:04,806
And if ain't nobody hating on us,
326
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:07,276
then we doing something wrong.
Am I right?
327
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,710
But what if somebody really got hurt?
328
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:12,181
Seriously, Ms. Tudi...
like Boonie or myself.
329
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,548
You ain't gonna like that.
330
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:16,318
Jesus, why don't you help us, huh?
331
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:17,686
Help us!
332
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,188
And I ain't talking about
with all the love
333
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,123
and the kindness and the gospel.
334
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:25,126
I'm saying, with some of that
magical Jesus super power,
335
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,228
smite them bitches!
336
00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:28,430
I don't think so, Ms. Tudi.
337
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:30,298
I ain't gonna be able to do it.
338
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,233
Look, I came to talk to you
about releasing Boonie
339
00:16:32,257 --> 00:16:33,402
from his contract.
340
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:36,371
From his contract?! Ha! Nooo.
341
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:37,773
No, no, no, no, no.
342
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,876
I lose Boonie,
- my business goes down the drain.
343
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:44,513
I got this nigga here
on lock for five years.
344
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,515
- Five years?!
- Yeah.
345
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,650
- Boonie...
- Job security, nigga.
346
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,585
There is something I will consider...
347
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:56,324
cutting that contract down by
a year, if you give me a year.
348
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:58,692
Me, a year? 365 days?
349
00:16:58,716 --> 00:17:00,594
I'm Jesus Christ, Ms. Tudi.
350
00:17:00,618 --> 00:17:03,097
I got so much world-changing
shit to be doing.
351
00:17:03,121 --> 00:17:04,465
Come on. I'm a busy dude.
352
00:17:04,489 --> 00:17:08,169
Well, that's the deal.
Be a savior to your friend,
353
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:10,805
or see this nigga in 2023.
354
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:13,779
Here, nigga. Come on and dust.
355
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:18,551
Want me to do them feet?
356
00:17:23,082 --> 00:17:24,526
- What's up, man?
- Yo, man.
357
00:17:24,550 --> 00:17:26,494
I'm looking for some
of that good "Tudi-fruity".
358
00:17:26,518 --> 00:17:28,063
Well, how much you got?
359
00:17:28,087 --> 00:17:29,264
I got...
360
00:17:29,288 --> 00:17:31,432
I know I got $3.
361
00:17:31,456 --> 00:17:35,037
And, um... 34 cents.
362
00:17:35,061 --> 00:17:37,005
- That's all you got?
- Hey, man, why do you want to
363
00:17:37,029 --> 00:17:39,741
make somebody feel bad about
their financial circumstances?
364
00:17:39,765 --> 00:17:42,744
All right, man. Damn. Sofa.
365
00:17:42,768 --> 00:17:44,151
Yeah.
366
00:17:47,539 --> 00:17:50,152
Hey, can I introduce you
to the wonders of God's love
367
00:17:50,176 --> 00:17:51,619
and life everlasting?
368
00:17:51,643 --> 00:17:54,455
Jesus Christ, just give me
the weed, man!
369
00:17:54,479 --> 00:17:57,858
My love for you is infinite,
but [BLEEP] you, though.
370
00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:03,798
Shit.
371
00:18:03,822 --> 00:18:06,501
What's going on here, fellas?
372
00:18:06,525 --> 00:18:10,572
Oh. Is this Jesus?
373
00:18:10,596 --> 00:18:13,841
Oh. It's them Yoga Bitches.
374
00:18:13,865 --> 00:18:16,311
Hosanna out here slinging
corner to corner.
375
00:18:16,335 --> 00:18:18,546
- Oh, it's going down.
- It's going down.
376
00:18:18,570 --> 00:18:20,281
Come on, let's go.
377
00:18:20,305 --> 00:18:21,916
Look, ladies. I'm glad y'all came.
378
00:18:21,940 --> 00:18:24,185
I'm trying to figure out
how we can squash this beef.
379
00:18:24,209 --> 00:18:27,955
Christ! Jesus, stop talking
about squashing beef.
380
00:18:27,979 --> 00:18:29,557
Shit's annoying.
381
00:18:29,581 --> 00:18:31,892
Look, there's a big enough
low-budget weed
382
00:18:31,916 --> 00:18:34,528
and counterfeit-goods market
in southwest Compton
383
00:18:34,552 --> 00:18:36,496
for everybody to eat.
384
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,099
Come on, let's get
- some money together, huh?
385
00:18:38,123 --> 00:18:40,534
Besides, this our block.
386
00:18:40,558 --> 00:18:43,704
Nigga, what?! This southwest Compton!
387
00:18:43,728 --> 00:18:46,306
You ain't got no block. They all mine.
388
00:18:46,330 --> 00:18:49,076
- Says who?
- My gun and my bitches!
389
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:50,811
We got guns, too.
390
00:18:50,835 --> 00:18:53,480
Difference is, we ain't scared
to use ours.
391
00:18:53,504 --> 00:18:54,782
The game done change, bro.
392
00:18:54,806 --> 00:18:56,583
See, y'all ain't built
for this shit here.
393
00:18:56,607 --> 00:18:58,886
I see three potty-mouthed young ladies
394
00:18:58,910 --> 00:19:01,455
in desperate need of a rod
across that ass...
395
00:19:01,479 --> 00:19:02,957
and I ain't talking
in a sexual way, either.
396
00:19:02,981 --> 00:19:06,426
Too bad, fine nigga.
397
00:19:06,450 --> 00:19:08,128
Didn't I tell...
398
00:19:08,152 --> 00:19:10,731
Word Keepers, rendezvous
at the gate. Code Gamma.
399
00:19:10,755 --> 00:19:13,634
Code Gamma. Code Gamma.
What's a Code Gamma?
400
00:19:13,658 --> 00:19:15,935
Imminent threat to the compound.
401
00:19:15,959 --> 00:19:18,372
Everybody gear up. Let's move.
402
00:19:19,797 --> 00:19:21,541
All right. Grenades,
grenades, grenades.
403
00:19:21,565 --> 00:19:24,144
Grenades! Grenades!
404
00:19:24,168 --> 00:19:28,682
Uh-oh. I feel a Darby high.
Everything is spinning. Look.
405
00:19:28,706 --> 00:19:32,085
Oh. Code Gamma. Code Gamma.
406
00:19:32,109 --> 00:19:37,123
And I bet you, if I was
to bitch-slap your punk ass,
407
00:19:37,147 --> 00:19:40,559
you wouldn't do shit
but turn the other cheek.
408
00:19:40,583 --> 00:19:42,328
Watch this.
409
00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:50,503
That's what I thought, nigga.
410
00:19:50,527 --> 00:19:53,940
But what you forgot was
I'm Jesus Christ,
411
00:19:53,964 --> 00:19:57,277
the all-mother[BLEEP] mighty,
and that shit didn't hurt.
412
00:19:57,301 --> 00:20:00,780
Pops made it feel like
a deep-tissue face message.
413
00:20:00,804 --> 00:20:03,316
Now, if I was you, I'd drop to
414
00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:05,819
my mother[BLEEP] knees, right now.
415
00:20:05,843 --> 00:20:08,621
And I don't mean that
in a sexual way, either.
416
00:20:08,645 --> 00:20:10,589
Would you get your going ass up?
417
00:20:10,613 --> 00:20:12,058
Back up, Yoga Bitches!
418
00:20:12,082 --> 00:20:14,860
Aw, shit.
Jesus got disciples with gats.
419
00:20:14,884 --> 00:20:17,196
That's why I don't pray to you!
420
00:20:21,123 --> 00:20:22,735
...saving all y'all all the time, man.
421
00:20:22,759 --> 00:20:25,604
Lloyd, where you going?!
422
00:20:31,768 --> 00:20:32,978
Is everybody all right?
423
00:20:33,002 --> 00:20:35,214
Hell, no! I'm shot...
424
00:20:35,238 --> 00:20:37,483
- again!
- Boonie!
425
00:20:37,507 --> 00:20:39,084
Is everybody else all right?
426
00:20:39,108 --> 00:20:42,555
Dear Heavenly Father, please
save my guy life one more again.
427
00:20:42,579 --> 00:20:44,189
He been having a rough day, Pops.
428
00:20:44,213 --> 00:20:45,958
Please, heavenly father.
429
00:20:45,982 --> 00:20:47,893
Phew. Hey, thanks, Jesus.
430
00:20:47,917 --> 00:20:50,062
You like urgent care
for a nigga, for real.
431
00:20:50,086 --> 00:20:51,964
Hi. I got your sandwiches.
432
00:20:51,988 --> 00:20:54,566
Oh, Nessa. Good looking.
I forgot all about this.
433
00:20:54,590 --> 00:20:55,834
You're welcome.
434
00:20:55,858 --> 00:20:58,337
- Jesus!
- I got some for y'all, too.
435
00:20:58,361 --> 00:21:00,005
Oh, my bad, Boon. My bad.
436
00:21:00,029 --> 00:21:03,909
No. No, Ambro's over there
eating my damn fish sandwich!
437
00:21:03,933 --> 00:21:07,045
Aw, don't even trip, playboy.
I got this.
438
00:21:10,239 --> 00:21:13,051
Oh, the old "make
some more fish" trick.
439
00:21:13,075 --> 00:21:16,054
That's some John 21:10-type shit.
440
00:21:22,317 --> 00:21:27,336
Man, sometimes Pops
- takes shit way too literal.
441
00:21:28,196 --> 00:21:34,346
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