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♪ ♪
2
00:00:11,570 --> 00:00:15,239
♪ ♪
3
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- Clear!
- Clear!
4
00:00:17,038 --> 00:00:18,079
Whoa!
5
00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:20,440
Go! Go! Go!
6
00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:22,280
Not clear!
7
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:23,800
Excuse me.
8
00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:27,080
Don't stop, don't stop, don't
stop, don't stop, don't stop!
9
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:28,819
There we go!
10
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,714
Looks we found our
canaries in a coal mine.
11
00:00:30,715 --> 00:00:32,980
All right, enough of the perv committee.
12
00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:34,889
- Come on, let's go.
- This is gonna last forever!
13
00:00:34,890 --> 00:00:37,360
- Oh, there you go!
- Aah!
14
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,379
- Oh, my God! Get out!
- What the hell?!
15
00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:41,300
Carbon monoxide leak in
the building, folks.
16
00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:42,659
You need to get out.
17
00:00:42,660 --> 00:00:45,460
Okay, well, just give us a
minute so we can finish up.
18
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:47,109
Are you crazy? There's a gas leak.
19
00:00:47,110 --> 00:00:49,024
Okay. Well, just let us get dressed.
20
00:00:49,025 --> 00:00:51,120
- Okay, come on.
- Come on, let's go.
21
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:53,340
Hey, disconnect those two
and get them outside.
22
00:00:53,350 --> 00:00:55,399
Andy and I will search
right, you guys go left.
23
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,819
We'll meet at the stairwell in 10.
24
00:00:56,820 --> 00:00:58,180
And keep your mask on.
25
00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,497
We don't know how bad this gas leak is.
26
00:00:59,498 --> 00:01:00,680
Copy.
27
00:01:03,740 --> 00:01:04,929
What is wrong with you people?
28
00:01:04,930 --> 00:01:06,400
I am a first responder.
29
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:07,780
- Yeah.
- Just one quick second.
30
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:08,940
This only takes one second.
31
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♪ ♪
32
00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:13,940
Hey!
33
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,540
Hey, Tony, why did you
kill the music, man?
34
00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:18,480
I'm not Tony. Tacoma FD.
35
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,570
Yeah, right. Nice outfit, dude.
36
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,590
What are you guys doing here?
37
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,639
Gas bongs, brah.
38
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:24,879
[BUBBLING]
39
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Hello! Anybody home?
40
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Captain!
41
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,220
Okay, ma'am, stay calm.
42
00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:31,080
Oh, my cat.
43
00:01:31,750 --> 00:01:34,900
My cat... Rumpelstiltskin!
44
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:37,829
We're gonna get you out of here.
45
00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:39,689
Cap, Chief said to keep our masks on.
46
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Do I ever do what he tells me?
47
00:01:41,090 --> 00:01:42,699
Yeah, but Chief's the Chief.
48
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:44,620
And if he told you to jump
off a building, would you?
49
00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:45,700
I did last week.
50
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,740
Just take her out. I'll get the cat.
51
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,099
Listen to me, fireman.
52
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,300
Let me just blow a little bit
of smoke in your gas hole.
53
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:55,860
I said no!
54
00:01:56,180 --> 00:01:57,779
What the hell?!
55
00:01:57,780 --> 00:01:59,310
You know this mask is expensive.
56
00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:01,100
Yeah, so is this.
57
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,229
That's my weed, man.
58
00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:04,609
Let's go. Get out of here.
59
00:02:04,610 --> 00:02:07,060
- You're a dick.
- Tell it to your barber.
60
00:02:07,070 --> 00:02:08,079
IKE: Come in, Chief.
61
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:09,459
What's up, Ike?
62
00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:10,659
It's Captain Penisi, sir.
63
00:02:10,660 --> 00:02:12,529
He took in a lot of gas.
We have to help him out.
64
00:02:12,530 --> 00:02:13,729
Where's his mask?
65
00:02:13,730 --> 00:02:14,920
He gave it to an old lady, sir.
66
00:02:14,940 --> 00:02:16,329
Ah, come on.
67
00:02:16,330 --> 00:02:17,529
All right, we'll clear the floor.
68
00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:19,199
- You get him outside.
- Copy, sir.
69
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,399
- Out.
- Idiot.
70
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:21,739
I hope he pukes in the parking lot.
71
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:23,100
That'll teach him to take his mask off.
72
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:28,409
♪ ♪
73
00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:29,500
Shit, Eddie, come on.
74
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,609
Eddie, I was just kidding.
75
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,220
Look out, look out, look out, look out.
76
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:34,609
EDDIE: Come on, buddy, stay with me.
77
00:02:34,610 --> 00:02:36,219
Come on, Rumpelstiltskin.
78
00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:38,300
Come on, don't quit on me
now, buddy. Stay with me.
79
00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:43,939
Hey, he's gone, all right?
80
00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:45,439
He had nine good ones, man. Let him go!
81
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,159
Bullshit! Not on my watch!
82
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,460
[CROWD GASPS]
83
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Stay with me here!
84
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:53,980
[RUMPELSTILTSKIN MEOWS]
85
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,639
- Ugh!
- Man!
86
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,709
[RUMPELSTILTSKIN MEOWS]
87
00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:58,839
[APPLAUSE]
88
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,639
Come on, get up. Get up.
89
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,219
I thought that was you on the ground.
90
00:03:02,220 --> 00:03:03,600
[COUGHS]
91
00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:05,160
You all right?
92
00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:08,560
[COUGHING]
93
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:12,989
It's cool.
94
00:03:12,990 --> 00:03:15,989
Furball. Furball.
95
00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:18,110
♪ ♪
96
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,380
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
97
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♪ ♪
98
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,960
♪ Well, I'm hot blooded ♪
99
00:03:28,970 --> 00:03:31,409
♪ Check it and see ♪
100
00:03:31,410 --> 00:03:34,960
♪ Got a fever of 103 ♪
101
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,739
♪ I'm hot blooded ♪
102
00:03:36,740 --> 00:03:38,310
♪ ♪
103
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,679
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
104
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,289
♪ ♪
105
00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:47,080
Yeah.
106
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:52,540
♪ ♪
107
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,220
Mmm!
108
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,980
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
109
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,059
- Baby!
- Come on!
110
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:02,979
- Son of a prick!
- Yeah, winner! Losers!
111
00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:04,539
Yeah, whoo!
112
00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:05,660
Winner-loser what?
113
00:04:05,670 --> 00:04:08,379
I bet that you would spill sauce
on yourself on the first bite,
114
00:04:08,380 --> 00:04:09,779
and they guessed the second.
115
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:11,449
- Thanks, Chief.
- What was the bet?
116
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:13,579
Loser sleeps in a satin
teddy for a month.
117
00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:15,519
- Ooh.
- That was the bet?
118
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,180
- You guys sound bored.
- Yeah, kind of.
119
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,440
We haven't had a fire in weeks.
120
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:19,579
That's a good thing, Ike.
121
00:04:19,580 --> 00:04:21,660
- You should get a hobby.
- I got a hobby, Chief.
122
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,659
I do needlepoint. Eh?
123
00:04:24,660 --> 00:04:26,120
- Oh, deer.
- Let me see.
124
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,799
- Oh, that's super cute.
- Thank you.
125
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,320
You should knit yourself a toupee.
126
00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:31,469
[LAUGHS]
127
00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:33,980
That's a funny joke, but
I'm not even bald, so...
128
00:04:33,990 --> 00:04:35,260
But you're starting to bald.
129
00:04:35,270 --> 00:04:37,740
I'm starting to thin, maybe, but no.
130
00:04:37,750 --> 00:04:40,060
So you should knit yourself a toupee.
131
00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:43,980
I mean, it's needlepoint,
so it keeps me calm.
132
00:04:43,990 --> 00:04:45,279
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you look calm.
133
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:46,879
IKE: Yeah, it looks like
it's calming you down.
134
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,149
Don't aggravate him. There
will be hell toupee.
135
00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:50,680
[LAUGHTER]
136
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:52,619
Maybe both of you guys
should find a hobby.
137
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:53,890
"Hell toupee."
138
00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:55,939
Hey, why don't you guys play cards
139
00:04:55,940 --> 00:04:57,019
or tell jokes like the old days?
140
00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:58,939
Man, the old days are busted.
141
00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:00,300
What? Jokes are great.
142
00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:01,480
Come on, Andy, tell a joke.
143
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,299
- Chief, I'm not good at jokes.
- You're great at jokes.
144
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:05,029
Come here. Come on. Let's go, up here.
145
00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:06,940
- Come on.
- Andy.
146
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,330
- Come on, Andy.
- Come on, get up here.
147
00:05:08,340 --> 00:05:09,359
- Do it, man.
- Come on.
148
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:10,499
TERRY: Don't be afraid to
put yourself out there.
149
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:11,769
- Okay, okay.
- Come on.
150
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,899
Friendly room, guys.
151
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:15,500
Come on, Andy.
152
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:18,200
Everybody gather around.
Myawani's gonna tell a joke.
153
00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:19,660
Come on, man, come on!
154
00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:21,319
Here we go. Wait till we're seated.
155
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,919
- Okay.
- All right.
156
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,220
No opener?
157
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:28,000
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
158
00:05:28,010 --> 00:05:29,859
Let's see. Uh...
159
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:33,770
A pirate walks into a bar with
a ship wheel around his dick.
160
00:05:33,780 --> 00:05:35,800
[LAUGHS]
161
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,170
Bartender says, uh, "You know
162
00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:41,040
you have a ship wheel on your dick?"
163
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,220
The pirate says, "Arr!
164
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:46,200
It drives me nuts." So...
165
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,780
- Fuck you, guys.
- No, no, no. Wait.
166
00:05:50,790 --> 00:05:52,080
Who put the ship's wheel on his dick?
167
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,420
- What?
- Who put the wheel on his dick?
168
00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:59,139
All right. It was okay.
169
00:05:59,140 --> 00:06:00,480
Hey, what's all this crap?
170
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:01,659
Gifts for Cap.
171
00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:03,060
- _
- He's a celebrity.
172
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,899
- Ah, give me a break.
- [DOOR OPENS]
173
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,089
EDDIE: Hey, check it out.
174
00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:09,180
Nut Nuts Doughnuts
made me cat doughnuts.
175
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,299
- Oh!
- Oh! Oh!
176
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:11,890
- Nice.
- Cute.
177
00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:14,659
Siamese cat, anyone? Hmm?
178
00:06:14,660 --> 00:06:16,260
Chiefy, you know you want some.
179
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:18,769
So what? You save a cat and all
of a sudden you're a star?
180
00:06:18,770 --> 00:06:21,260
Yeah, I'm a hero. Heroes get gifts.
181
00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:23,740
Look at this. Cat mat.
182
00:06:23,770 --> 00:06:26,330
Shock the cat right off
your couch. You'd love it.
183
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:28,360
That seems terribly cruel and inhumane.
184
00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:30,219
Whatever. Granny revived seven people.
185
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,300
How come he's not on the front page?
186
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:32,560
Do I have to spell it out for you?
187
00:06:32,570 --> 00:06:33,620
Is it because you're black?
188
00:06:33,630 --> 00:06:36,249
No, you racist. Because
people love cats.
189
00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:37,259
- Oh!
- Oh, yeah.
190
00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:38,270
I love cats.
191
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:39,929
I love animals you can eat.
192
00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:41,659
Mmm!
193
00:06:41,660 --> 00:06:43,980
- Oh!
- Son of a prick!
194
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,679
- How many times is that already?
- Number two.
195
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,640
Why don't you just slow down
and get it in your mouth?
196
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:49,960
It's not a speed issue.
I got a big torso.
197
00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,520
Sauce naturally falls on it.
198
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,639
By that logic, if we
stuff you into a girdle,
199
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:54,700
you'll stop spilling.
200
00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:55,869
I don't want to wear a girdle.
201
00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:57,099
- Oh!
- Chief!
202
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:58,250
Dab it, for God's sake.
203
00:06:58,260 --> 00:06:59,759
You're mashing it all around.
204
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,019
- Yeah, yeah.
- Come on!
205
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:03,639
Do the whole shirt so it's pink.
206
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,620
All right, all right, all
right, all right. Listen up.
207
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:08,089
Downtown finally assigned
us a new rookie.
208
00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:09,140
Probie starts today.
209
00:07:09,170 --> 00:07:10,959
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Yeah! Yeah!
210
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,480
Come on!
211
00:07:12,490 --> 00:07:13,629
It's about time.
212
00:07:13,630 --> 00:07:15,279
I'm gonna make him go
out to that parking lot
213
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,899
- and kick rocks for no good reason!
- Yeah!
214
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:19,749
I'm gonna make him pop out
the dents in my Thermos.
215
00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:20,760
Yeah.
216
00:07:20,770 --> 00:07:24,299
Oh, man, I'm gonna make him
feel, like, so uncomfortable.
217
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:26,709
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
218
00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:29,140
- Oh, man! It's gonna be awesome!
- Okay, okay, listen.
219
00:07:29,170 --> 00:07:31,260
There are a few wrinkles I
need to talk to you about.
220
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,509
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
221
00:07:32,510 --> 00:07:34,800
- Hey, Luce, what's up?
- Hey, Dad.
222
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:36,439
Honey, can you wait
outside for a second?
223
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,680
We have some things we
got to finish up here.
224
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:40,260
Yeah. Yeah. For sure.
225
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,250
- Ooh, when the probie gets here...
- [DOOR CLOSES]
226
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,590
... I'm gonna make him
renew my passport.
227
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,420
Oh, oh, and we should make
him wear thigh-high boots.
228
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,340
[LAUGHTER]
229
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,860
I'm gonna make him call me sensei.
230
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,500
Okay.
231
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:56,890
- I like that.
- Listen.
232
00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,320
There will be no hazing of the probie.
233
00:07:58,330 --> 00:07:59,540
- What?
- Why not, Chief?
234
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,720
Because it's degrading and
it undermines unit cohesion.
235
00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:03,470
What? You love hazing.
236
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:04,620
I've never supported hazing.
237
00:08:04,630 --> 00:08:05,879
- What?
- Really?
238
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,549
Yeah!
239
00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:08,560
- Yeah!
- How's that, buddy?
240
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:09,909
You guys, you guys, now
pull him out of there
241
00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:11,440
and let's put his head in the toilet!
242
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:13,100
I don't know, Chief.
243
00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:15,280
Oh, come on. You guys
are too soft. I'll do it.
244
00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:16,999
Regardless, there will be no hazing.
245
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,200
Chief, what?
246
00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:19,439
- Come on.
- This is ridiculous!
247
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,479
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- ANDY: Now you're getting this back.
248
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,079
- You're kidding, right?
- Come on.
249
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,299
IKE: Coming from you, that's rich.
250
00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:26,059
- It doesn't add up.
- This is the worst.
251
00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:27,280
TERRY: Yeah, well, that's
how it's gonna be.
252
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:28,769
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, wait a minute.
253
00:08:28,770 --> 00:08:30,200
Is Lucy the new probie?
254
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,380
I wanted to talk to you guys about that.
255
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,709
- Chief.
- Um...
256
00:08:34,710 --> 00:08:36,220
And you're just telling us now?
257
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:37,469
Don't act surprised. You knew she was
258
00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:38,479
in the training program.
259
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,679
I thought she was going
for a desk job downtown.
260
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:41,949
Well, she wants to be a firefighter.
261
00:08:41,950 --> 00:08:44,499
Yeah, but, Chief, she's a girl.
262
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:45,509
Yeah, so what?
263
00:08:45,510 --> 00:08:47,919
Well, we've never had a girl
firefighter before, sir.
264
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,400
There are plenty of stations
with female firemen.
265
00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:51,499
Get used to it.
266
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,900
Says the biggest chauvinist here.
267
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:54,300
- Oh, I'm a chauvinist?
- Yeah.
268
00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:56,139
That's ridiculous. I
have three daughters.
269
00:08:56,140 --> 00:08:58,380
But you always said that
women can't be firefighters.
270
00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,560
I have never said that.
271
00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:02,040
Unbelievable. Look at
Seattle... girl firefighters.
272
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:03,100
Ha.
273
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,899
What are they gonna do,
paint their trucks pink?
274
00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:06,300
[LAUGHS]
275
00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:09,019
They'll probably get lost
on the way to the fire.
276
00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:11,380
What would your mom think about that?
277
00:09:11,730 --> 00:09:13,340
That was a long time ago.
278
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:14,640
That was last year.
279
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:15,860
ANDY: Plus, we only have one bunk room.
280
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:16,919
Where is she gonna sleep?
281
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,439
In Afghanistan, the men and women
282
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:19,670
slept in the same barracks.
283
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:20,940
Yeah, well, this isn't Afghanistan.
284
00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:22,659
You sure? Because it seems to me
285
00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:24,219
you want your daughter to wear a burka.
286
00:09:24,220 --> 00:09:25,230
What's that supposed to mean?
287
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,320
You don't know what a burka is?
288
00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,659
- You can't see their face.
- Yeah.
289
00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:28,669
- Just their eyes.
- Yeah.
290
00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:29,999
They're like women ninjas.
291
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,040
I know what a burka is!
292
00:09:31,060 --> 00:09:32,340
Do you know what a ninja is?
293
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,860
Okay, so, what if I'm overcome by smoke
294
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,499
and I have to be carried down
three flights of stairs?
295
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:40,379
I'm 210 pounds of pure muscle, Chief.
296
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,659
You do the math.
297
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:43,139
Do you know 210 pounds of muscle
298
00:09:43,140 --> 00:09:45,180
weighs the same as 210
pounds of fat, right?
299
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,740
Yeah, no, everybody knows
that muscle is heavier.
300
00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:49,860
- Ah.
- What about farting?
301
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,100
There will be no more farting.
302
00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:52,520
- Oh!
- What?
303
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,959
- That's all I do.
- Yeah, now, you're gonna ban farting?
304
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,060
- Yeah, so what?
- Here we go, guys, ready?
305
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,100
Oh!
306
00:09:59,110 --> 00:10:00,620
[LAUGHTER] That's great!
This is what I wanted!
307
00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:03,240
- Whoo!
- Oh, yeah, you love farts!
308
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,100
[FARTS]
309
00:10:05,110 --> 00:10:06,960
[LAUGHTER]
310
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,860
You fart all the time, Chief.
311
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,380
We call your office the Fart Hut.
312
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,100
- No farting.
- Whoa, Chief, I can't stop farting.
313
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,420
Do you have any idea how
gassy creatine makes me?
314
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,620
Then stop using creatine.
315
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,540
Fuck no, brother!
316
00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:19,699
No way!
317
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:20,709
Yeah!
318
00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:22,879
[ALL WHOOPING]
319
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,520
And there will be no more swearing.
320
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,620
- Oh!
- [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]
321
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,239
- [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]
- [BLEEP] [BLEEP]
322
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,919
- [BLEEP] [BLEEP]
- [BLEEP] [BLEEP]
323
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,099
That's what we love about this pla...
324
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,219
Hey!
325
00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:35,600
Lucy, welcome to the station.
326
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,800
Ugh! Are you just telling them now?
327
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:40,300
No.
328
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,460
No, no, no, no.
329
00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:45,299
I knew this was gonna
happen. Look, I get it.
330
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,840
You guys are worried that I'm
gonna bust up the sausage party.
331
00:10:47,850 --> 00:10:49,840
What?
332
00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:51,380
Stop. This is a fire station.
333
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,280
You talk about sports, you play pranks,
334
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:54,560
you make fun of the bald guy.
335
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,740
And Uncle Eddie talks about
how much he likes a finger
336
00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:59,900
up his ass during sex and
calls it his tingle button.
337
00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:00,959
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
338
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,119
- Whoa!
- I've never heard that.
339
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,740
T.M.I.
340
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:04,819
Who told you about the tingle button?
341
00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:06,679
It doesn't matter. Everybody knows.
342
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:07,689
Whoa, whoa.
343
00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:09,760
I also know you guys don't
think I'm strong enough.
344
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,560
- What?
- No, no.
345
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:14,560
I guarantee at least one
of you pulled the old
346
00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:16,980
"what if she has to carry me
down a flight of stairs?"
347
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,000
[LAUGHS]
348
00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:20,480
No one said that.
349
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,620
Regardless, I'm a part of the team now,
350
00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:24,560
and I just want you to think
of me as one of the guys.
351
00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:26,240
Then, uh, see you in the showers.
352
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:27,640
[LAUGHS]
353
00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:29,200
[LAUGHS MOCKINGLY]
354
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:30,640
Not if I see you first.
355
00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:32,039
What?
356
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:33,119
All right, everybody get to work.
357
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,740
Hit the road. Enough sitting around.
358
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,419
We got things to do. Hurry up.
359
00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:39,120
- Grats.
- Thank you.
360
00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:41,219
What the hell, Dad? Why
didn't you tell them?
361
00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:42,620
Yeah. Why didn't you tell us?
362
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:43,920
Why are you here? She's my daughter.
363
00:11:43,940 --> 00:11:45,680
Yeah, and I'm her uncle and the captain,
364
00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:46,920
and now she's on my crew.
365
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,000
I got it, Uncle Eddie.
366
00:11:48,010 --> 00:11:50,420
Dad, I know you're
embarrassed that I'm joining
367
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,290
your pranky little fart club over here,
368
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,679
but you have to accept it.
369
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,859
All right. First, if you're
gonna be a firefighter,
370
00:11:55,860 --> 00:11:57,099
you lose the attitude.
371
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,120
And you call me Chief.
372
00:11:59,050 --> 00:12:00,100
Perfect.
373
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,580
That's the way it should be.
374
00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:05,740
All right, now, I'm gonna
go grab my bunk, Chief.
375
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,400
Mm.
376
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,119
- What are you doing?
- What?
377
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,560
If you don't treat her like a
firefighter, no one else will.
378
00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:13,699
Yeah, thanks. Why don't
you just worry about
379
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:14,759
the new rules, Captain?
380
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,699
Which rules? The no-farting,
no-swearing rules?
381
00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:17,899
- Yeah, that's right.
- Yeah?
382
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:19,520
Then go fuck yourself, fatso.
383
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:21,600
[FARTS]
384
00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:23,100
That includes fight farts!
385
00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:26,659
She's a firefighter.
386
00:12:26,660 --> 00:12:28,560
You better figure out how
to get on board with that.
387
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,420
[FARTS]
388
00:12:31,540 --> 00:12:33,880
- It stinks in here.
- Good.
389
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,149
♪ ♪
390
00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:41,620
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
391
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,359
Son of a prick! Every time!
392
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,629
Mm!
393
00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:47,380
Who makes a cat-shaped doughnut anyway?
394
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,000
Mm, mm.
395
00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:56,989
Hmm.
396
00:12:56,990 --> 00:12:59,919
_
397
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:06,960
♪ ♪
398
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:12,040
♪ ♪
399
00:13:13,650 --> 00:13:15,089
[SIGHS]
400
00:13:15,090 --> 00:13:19,139
_
401
00:13:19,140 --> 00:13:20,659
[GRUNTS]
402
00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:27,920
♪ ♪
403
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,579
_
404
00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:32,580
♪ ♪
405
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,160
[SIGHS]
406
00:13:34,220 --> 00:13:38,900
♪ ♪
407
00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:40,260
Oh, wow.
408
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,240
Ooh, ooh. Hey, look at this girl.
409
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,879
- What?
- Yeah, buddy.
410
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,419
What site is this? I'm signing up.
411
00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:50,380
Oh, no, it's for guys
with thinning hair.
412
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,160
- It's called Thinder.
- GRANNY: Thinder?
413
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:54,029
I thought that was the one
with the really thin girls.
414
00:13:54,030 --> 00:13:55,140
No, that's Wafer.
415
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,299
Thinder's the one that has
Jude Law as the spokesperson.
416
00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:58,920
- Ooh, Jude Law?
- Yeah.
417
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,499
I liked him in "Young Pope."
418
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,980
Yeah. I wish he was older.
419
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:04,920
What if I just, like,
thinned my hair out
420
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:06,240
and take a profile pic like this?
421
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,199
- It looks like I'm balding, like...
- Uh, no, no, no.
422
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,260
They keep watch for impost-hairs.
423
00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:12,220
- Imposters?
- Impost-hairs.
424
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,400
- Who keeps watch?
- The fuzz, man.
425
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,160
You messing with me?
426
00:14:17,170 --> 00:14:18,499
- I am.
- Yeah.
427
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:19,640
EDDIE: Hey.
428
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,179
You guys come up with
any good hazing ideas?
429
00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:22,909
Cap, it's the Chief's daughter.
430
00:14:22,910 --> 00:14:23,919
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
431
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:24,980
She's a legacy.
432
00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:26,820
I'm a legacy, and I got
hazed relentlessly.
433
00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:29,279
Yeah, but, Cap, she's a girl.
434
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,940
That girl was an All-American
judo champ in college
435
00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:33,500
and could kick all of our asses.
436
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:35,080
I'd like to see her try.
437
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,399
Now, let's welcome her to the
station with a friendly prank,
438
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,460
and let's be creative about it.
Ike, what did we do to you?
439
00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:41,879
Covered my dick in birdseed and
hung a bird feeder off it.
440
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,960
[LAUGHTER]
441
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,820
All right, we can't do that.
Andy, what did we do to you?
442
00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:47,509
Shaved my nuts and then
put peppermint patties
443
00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:49,449
- in my underwear.
- Oh, yeah.
444
00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:50,799
- That was good.
- That was good.
445
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,160
Yeah, we can't do that one either.
446
00:14:52,170 --> 00:14:53,419
All right, Granny, how
about you? What did we do?
447
00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:54,579
Oh, you don't remember?
448
00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:56,219
You buttered the shower floor,
449
00:14:56,220 --> 00:14:59,059
videotaped me flopping
around all greasy and naked,
450
00:14:59,060 --> 00:15:01,380
and then you sent the tape to
my brother at Camp Pendleton.
451
00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:04,469
You know how awkward
it was at Christmas?
452
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,340
- Seemed funny at the time.
- It's still funny now.
453
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,860
Do we just do dick stuff?
454
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,160
Yeah.
455
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,440
I think we need to come up with
some equal-opportunity hazing.
456
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,420
Wait, we can do the
peppermint patty thing.
457
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,579
In the meantime, though,
let's do the ram-a-doodle.
458
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:17,619
- Oh, Cap!
- Yes!
459
00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:18,979
- Come on!
- Are you kidding me?
460
00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:20,379
- Come on.
- Ram-a-doodle's great.
461
00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:21,389
What's wrong with the ram-a-doodle?
462
00:15:21,390 --> 00:15:24,140
- It's awesome.
- The ram-a-doodle's busted.
463
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:31,160
♪ ♪
464
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:36,660
♪ ♪
465
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:42,780
♪ ♪
466
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:45,339
GRANNY: Lucy!
467
00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:46,939
Lucy!
468
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:48,780
Uh, coming!
469
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,860
Hey, Luce!
470
00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:52,960
Lucy!
471
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,380
Lucy!
472
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,949
[DOOR OPENS]
473
00:15:56,950 --> 00:15:58,690
Lucy!
474
00:16:00,070 --> 00:16:01,139
Hey.
475
00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:03,839
Um, could you go out there
and get the ram-a-doodle?
476
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,259
The ram-a-doodle?
477
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:07,840
Yeah, yeah, it's, uh, right out
the garage and to the right.
478
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,429
- You'll see it.
- Okay.
479
00:16:09,430 --> 00:16:10,559
It's lying right there
around the corner.
480
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:11,620
- You can't miss it.
- Great.
481
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:12,740
- Today, please.
- Come on, probie.
482
00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:14,590
Oh, hey, Chief, do you mind showing me
483
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,019
where the outside water hookup is?
484
00:16:16,020 --> 00:16:17,920
Uh, yeah, it's out here.
485
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:22,900
- No, no, no, no!
- Chief! Chief!
486
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,420
Oh, shit!
487
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,680
Myawani, you're scraping toilets!
488
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,249
Chief, th... w... d...
489
00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:30,340
Ugh!
490
00:16:30,350 --> 00:16:31,399
I'm sorry.
491
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,460
What the hell is this?
492
00:16:32,470 --> 00:16:34,389
- The ram-a-doodle.
- I know it's the ram-a-doodle.
493
00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:35,859
I've been ram-a-doodled
a thousand times.
494
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:37,859
A thousand one.
495
00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:39,059
I said she was off-limits!
496
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,180
Why am I off-limits?
497
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,519
- 'Cause you are. You're off-limits.
- Chief, she's a rookie.
498
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,980
She gets pranked, she does grunt work,
499
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,269
she gets a dumb rookie nickname
just like the rest of us.
500
00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:48,760
- Thank you.
- Off. Limits.
501
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:51,820
[CHUCKLES]
502
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,539
All right, shitface. Good job.
503
00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:55,319
- You're gonna fit right in here.
- I grew up here.
504
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,179
You think I don't know
what the ram-a-doodle is?
505
00:16:57,180 --> 00:16:59,200
If you're gonna come at me,
you better come correct.
506
00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:00,740
Oh, ho, ho, ho.
507
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:01,760
It's on.
508
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,240
Yes. Awesome.
509
00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:04,599
What's my dumb rookie nickname?
510
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,019
That'll come in time.
511
00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:07,800
All right, well, what was yours?
512
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,280
Come on, Tingle Button.
513
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:11,659
Of course. What was my dad's?
514
00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:12,779
No, can't.
515
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:14,680
- That I'm not saying.
- Tuna Can.
516
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:15,720
- Oh, Granny.
- Come on, Granny.
517
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,029
Why? 'Cause he likes tuna?
518
00:17:17,030 --> 00:17:18,240
Uh, sure.
519
00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:19,639
- Yeah, that's it.
- He loves it.
520
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,680
It's because his junk is
wider than it is long.
521
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,509
Oh, God damn it!
522
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:25,709
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
523
00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:26,740
- That... [GAGS]
- It's gross.
524
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,780
- Stop picturing it.
- Ugh. Oh.
525
00:17:28,810 --> 00:17:30,319
- Oh, my God.
- Are you okay?
526
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:31,779
Go outside if you're
gonna throw up, okay?
527
00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:33,290
- TERRY: Lucy!
- Yeah, coming.
528
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,300
- GRANNY: Don't look him in the eyes.
- Lucy!
529
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,399
Oh.
530
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,880
What's the matter?
531
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,390
Nothing.
532
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:45,500
I'm just trying to get something
gross out of my head.
533
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,960
All right, well, I made a decision.
534
00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:49,640
I'm transferring you to another station.
535
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,459
What?
536
00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:52,869
It's better for both of us.
537
00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:54,540
I'll get the process started.
538
00:17:54,550 --> 00:17:57,339
♪ ♪
539
00:17:57,340 --> 00:17:58,539
[ALARM BLARES]
540
00:17:58,540 --> 00:18:00,659
MAN: Station 24, all units respond.
541
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:03,539
- Load it up!
- Possible fire in assisted-living center.
542
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,380
All units respond.
543
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,540
EDDIE: Here you go,
Chief. It's all set up.
544
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:12,920
[SIGHS]
545
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:14,920
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
546
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:17,890
Thank you, Captain Penisi.
547
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:20,020
You are a real hero.
548
00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:21,629
Aww. Hey, let's take another one.
549
00:18:21,630 --> 00:18:22,720
Just in case. Come on, go.
550
00:18:22,740 --> 00:18:23,780
Come on, Chief. He doesn't mind.
551
00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:24,879
He's a monkey wrench, this guy.
552
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,029
Cheese.
553
00:18:26,030 --> 00:18:28,169
- Chief, it's all good.
- Oh, that's great.
554
00:18:28,170 --> 00:18:29,760
Someone just left their hot plate on.
555
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,960
- False alarm.
- Excuse me, Chief.
556
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,369
We're having another...
557
00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:36,780
issue, which requires
emergency medical assistance.
558
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:41,680
[MAN GROANING]
559
00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:49,180
Geez. Where did he get the Viagra?
560
00:18:49,590 --> 00:18:51,459
I can't see out my right eye.
561
00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:53,579
We're not exactly sure where he got it.
562
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:56,320
We assume it was bought
from another resident.
563
00:18:56,330 --> 00:18:57,600
Does he have any Propecia?
564
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,799
- Andy!
- I'm kidding, Chief.
565
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,150
I don't really need it. I mean,
that stuff is expensive,
566
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,869
but it's more of, like,
preventative for me.
567
00:19:04,870 --> 00:19:07,099
You know what I mean?
Obvious... Obviously.
568
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:08,800
- Yeah.
- My arm is numb.
569
00:19:08,820 --> 00:19:10,609
What you're experiencing is a priapism.
570
00:19:10,610 --> 00:19:12,209
The blood flow to your phallic region
571
00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:13,440
is impairing your circulation.
572
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:14,939
How many pills you take?
573
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:15,950
Eight.
574
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:18,300
Eight? Most I can handle is four.
575
00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:20,289
I was supposed to have a big night,
576
00:19:20,290 --> 00:19:23,100
a three-way with Ruthie and Louise.
577
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,520
Oh, Randall.
578
00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:26,839
You know Louise passed away last week.
579
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:27,900
That's what you think.
580
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,229
Sir, we're gonna have
to take care of that
581
00:19:30,230 --> 00:19:31,599
before it causes permanent damage.
582
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,620
What's that?
583
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,600
Oh, we have to aspirate the erection.
584
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,919
We draw the blood and
then we inject the member
585
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:37,960
with epinephrine.
586
00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:40,769
What?
587
00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:43,500
Tradition is low man on the
totem pole does the job, Chief.
588
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:46,719
I'll do it.
589
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,680
Terry, chiefs don't aspirate dicks.
590
00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:50,859
- This one does.
- If it's my job, I'll do it.
591
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:52,849
- No, you won't.
- It's rookie tradition.
592
00:19:52,850 --> 00:19:55,080
If she wasn't a woman, we wouldn't
be having this conversation.
593
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:56,480
She's not a woman. She's my daughter.
594
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,120
I've seen a penis before, Chief.
595
00:19:58,140 --> 00:20:00,259
- No, you haven't!
- And I've touched a penis before.
596
00:20:00,260 --> 00:20:02,630
- No, you haven't!
- I vote for her.
597
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,920
Don't touch that dick. Don't
you touch that penis!
598
00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:07,100
- Now we're talking.
- Don't you touch that dick!
599
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,669
Let go of the dick!
600
00:20:09,670 --> 00:20:11,609
- You let go of the dick!
- Ooh!
601
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,209
- Get off the dick!
- Chief, come on.
602
00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:14,809
- Let go!
- Let go of the dick!
603
00:20:14,810 --> 00:20:16,760
Don't talk to me like that!
It's not your daughter!
604
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,110
Aaah!
605
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,680
Anything else, Chief?
606
00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:27,020
Mm.
607
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,680
Um, don't.
608
00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:37,400
♪ ♪
609
00:20:38,730 --> 00:20:40,080
Hey.
610
00:20:40,130 --> 00:20:41,869
Hey.
611
00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:45,139
I'm going to, uh, I'm
gonna grab a bite to eat
612
00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:47,000
and then head home.
613
00:20:47,060 --> 00:20:48,809
Cool.
614
00:20:48,810 --> 00:20:54,420
♪ ♪
615
00:20:55,150 --> 00:21:00,860
♪ ♪
616
00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:03,200
[GRUNTS]
617
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:08,740
♪ ♪
618
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,360
[LAUGHS]
619
00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:16,099
You did a good job today.
620
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:17,560
You handled it like a professional.
621
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:18,800
Pun intended.
622
00:21:19,770 --> 00:21:21,080
What pun?
623
00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:24,420
Never mind.
624
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,359
[GRUNTING]
625
00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:28,379
Come on.
626
00:21:28,380 --> 00:21:33,140
Hey, um, I was thinking about
what you said earlier today,
627
00:21:33,150 --> 00:21:34,380
and I think you're right.
628
00:21:34,390 --> 00:21:37,660
I can go anywhere, and I'm
just an added stress for you.
629
00:21:38,860 --> 00:21:40,840
Uh, I was thinking about that too.
630
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,959
And, um, I don't think that
I could trust anyone else
631
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,800
to teach you properly,
so you're staying.
632
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:48,860
Really?
633
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,740
You mean it?
634
00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:54,820
Yeah. I want you here.
635
00:21:56,180 --> 00:21:59,100
Ah, come on. Ah!
636
00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:02,400
Hey, uh, you want half of my sandwich?
637
00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:04,080
Yeah, you sure you got enough here?
638
00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:06,259
Oh, I think so. [LAUGHS]
639
00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:07,619
[LAUGHS]
640
00:22:07,620 --> 00:22:10,200
Awesome. Thank you. Cheers.
641
00:22:10,220 --> 00:22:12,130
[LAUGHS]
642
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,629
BOTH: Oh, son of a prick! Every time!
643
00:22:17,630 --> 00:22:19,920
EDDIE: Oh, come on, you
people are savages.
644
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,229
Of all the traits you
inherited from your dad,
645
00:22:23,230 --> 00:22:24,760
that one is the worst.
646
00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:27,540
Dab it, for Christ's sake.
647
00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:30,039
What is wrong with you people?
648
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,080
Go to bed!
649
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,979
- I'm going.
- We're having a moment.
650
00:22:33,980 --> 00:22:35,919
Gonna hose you slobs down.
651
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,080
Get it? It's a firefighter joke.
652
00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:39,419
- Pretty good, though, right?
- Yeah.
653
00:22:39,420 --> 00:22:40,450
Yeah.
654
00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,850
Free Willy. More like let's
cover these feet up.
655
00:22:46,860 --> 00:22:50,129
[LAUGHS] You know, it's
actually pronounced whh-ale.
656
00:22:50,130 --> 00:22:51,520
- Did you know that?
- [DOOR OPENS]
657
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,180
Oh, yeah!
658
00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:56,999
- Yeah!
- Oh, God.
659
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,620
- So good.
- You like that, huh?
660
00:22:58,630 --> 00:23:00,379
Yes! I love it!
661
00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:02,009
What happened, guys? Did you lose a bet?
662
00:23:02,010 --> 00:23:04,409
Yeah. Yeah, got to wear
these for a month.
663
00:23:04,410 --> 00:23:06,279
I don't get it. What's the punishment?
664
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,200
We have to wear girls' clothes.
665
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,760
And aren't they comfortable?
666
00:23:09,770 --> 00:23:12,120
Actually, it's unbelievable.
667
00:23:12,180 --> 00:23:13,890
- Yeah.
- Soft. It's so soft.
668
00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:15,260
- Yeah, it's really soft.
- See?
669
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:16,540
Girls' clothes aren't that bad.
670
00:23:16,580 --> 00:23:18,260
Not at all. [LAUGHS] Asshole!
671
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:19,920
Hey, man! I hate feet.
672
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,280
Hey, hey, anyway.
673
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,400
Lucy, you had a great first day today,
674
00:23:24,410 --> 00:23:25,919
and we wanted to commemorate that
675
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,600
by giving you your
official rookie nickname.
676
00:23:28,630 --> 00:23:29,780
- Yes!
- Yeah.
677
00:23:29,820 --> 00:23:33,139
Lucy McConky, you're
officially known as...
678
00:23:33,140 --> 00:23:35,680
- Chunk Light.
- There it is.
679
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,140
Wait, wait, wait. Why Chunk Light?
680
00:23:37,150 --> 00:23:38,160
Don't get it?
681
00:23:38,170 --> 00:23:40,099
Because you come from the Tuna Can.
682
00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:41,899
You remember, right? Your dad's dick?
683
00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:44,319
Oh, come on. I just got over this.
684
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:47,619
But, uh, we also want to say truce.
685
00:23:47,620 --> 00:23:49,569
You know, no more
pranks, no more hazing.
686
00:23:49,570 --> 00:23:51,389
We'll just end it now, cool?
687
00:23:51,390 --> 00:23:52,920
I think that's a great idea.
688
00:23:52,940 --> 00:23:54,599
- Cool. Truce.
- Oh, man.
689
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:55,609
Thank you.
690
00:23:55,610 --> 00:23:56,619
- Awesome.
- Awesome.
691
00:23:56,620 --> 00:23:58,999
- Truce.
- Glad we're past that.
692
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,360
That was good, though. That was good.
693
00:24:02,140 --> 00:24:04,659
Hey, thank you, guys, so much for making
694
00:24:04,660 --> 00:24:06,160
my first day so special.
695
00:24:06,170 --> 00:24:08,079
- You kidding me?
- It was a pleasure.
696
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,409
Y'all are the best.
697
00:24:09,410 --> 00:24:10,800
Night, guys.
698
00:24:10,860 --> 00:24:11,920
Good night.
699
00:24:13,940 --> 00:24:16,440
- [MEN SCREAMING]
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
700
00:24:16,460 --> 00:24:18,889
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Whoa!
701
00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:20,819
- Whoa! Whoa!
- [LAUGHS]
702
00:24:20,820 --> 00:24:22,540
Cat mat, bitches!
703
00:24:22,550 --> 00:24:25,229
Whoop-whoop! [LAUGHS]
704
00:24:25,230 --> 00:24:27,080
Chief!
705
00:24:27,660 --> 00:24:28,749
Good night.
706
00:24:28,750 --> 00:24:31,070
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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