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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,828 --> 00:00:03,995 (FILM REEL CLICKING) 2 00:00:24,185 --> 00:00:26,935 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 3 00:00:34,566 --> 00:00:35,566 Ryan. 4 00:00:36,574 --> 00:00:37,652 Yeah? 5 00:00:37,653 --> 00:00:41,253 WOMAN: We should have sex right now. 6 00:00:41,254 --> 00:00:42,254 One, 7 00:00:43,105 --> 00:00:44,105 two, 8 00:00:45,366 --> 00:00:46,366 three. 9 00:00:47,345 --> 00:00:50,305 (BOTH MOANING) (BED CREAKING) 10 00:00:50,306 --> 00:00:54,366 (EXAGGERATED MOANING) 11 00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:55,372 Shh, shh. 12 00:00:55,373 --> 00:00:57,432 Jono, Jono's asleep. 13 00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,598 Jono. 14 00:00:58,599 --> 00:01:01,133 Wait, Jono's not here. 15 00:01:02,340 --> 00:01:03,173 Jono's not here this weekend. 16 00:01:03,174 --> 00:01:04,491 Beth is gone, too! 17 00:01:04,492 --> 00:01:05,325 We have the place to ourselves. 18 00:01:05,325 --> 00:01:06,180 We have the place to ourselves. 19 00:01:06,181 --> 00:01:07,419 BOTH: We have the place to ourselves! 20 00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:12,420 (BOTH YELLING EXCITEDLY) (LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC) 21 00:01:12,801 --> 00:01:13,971 Our kitchen! 22 00:01:13,972 --> 00:01:15,677 We have the kitchen to ourselves! 23 00:01:15,678 --> 00:01:17,610 This is Jonathan's room, get out! 24 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:18,480 WOMAN: Okay. 25 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,380 RYAN: Roommate's gonna kill me. 26 00:01:19,381 --> 00:01:20,868 Ohh, let's go in the pool! 27 00:01:20,869 --> 00:01:21,869 Let's go in the pool, let's go in the pool. 28 00:01:21,869 --> 00:01:22,702 RYAN: Pool. 29 00:01:22,703 --> 00:01:25,300 (SQUEALING) 30 00:01:25,301 --> 00:01:27,634 (SPLASHING) 31 00:01:30,650 --> 00:01:32,540 Why didn't you jump? 32 00:01:32,541 --> 00:01:34,057 What if the neighbors see? 33 00:01:34,058 --> 00:01:34,891 (CHUCKLES) What do you care? 34 00:01:34,892 --> 00:01:36,617 They're not your neighbors. 35 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:37,618 I don't. 36 00:01:40,188 --> 00:01:41,028 Okay. 37 00:01:41,029 --> 00:01:42,097 Hang on one sec, I've got an idea. 38 00:01:42,098 --> 00:01:43,515 I've got an idea. 39 00:01:45,199 --> 00:01:50,199 What's your idea? 40 00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,149 (LAUGHING) 41 00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:56,150 Mm. 42 00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:57,773 Ooh, ah. 43 00:01:57,774 --> 00:01:59,093 It's your next creation. 44 00:02:00,986 --> 00:02:02,329 (MUMBLING) Oh, my God. 45 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,855 It's so good. 46 00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:04,778 Mmm! 47 00:02:04,778 --> 00:02:05,630 Mm. 48 00:02:05,631 --> 00:02:06,939 We can do anything today. 49 00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:08,773 Anything at all, what do you wanna do? 50 00:02:10,348 --> 00:02:14,431 (CHARMING ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC) 51 00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:28,514 How is Cabbage Patch Dolls not a top toy of the 80s? 52 00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:31,766 Why is a Tamagotchi not a top toy of the 90s? 53 00:02:31,767 --> 00:02:34,315 What's a Tamagotchi? 54 00:02:34,316 --> 00:02:35,316 Really? 55 00:02:44,644 --> 00:02:47,319 Hey, which one of these would you post? 56 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,115 Those are the same cupcake, right? 57 00:02:49,116 --> 00:02:50,803 Yeah, but different angles. 58 00:02:55,138 --> 00:02:56,759 Oh, give me your laptop. 59 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:57,897 Blowjob on a boat? 60 00:02:57,898 --> 00:02:58,880 RYAN: Yeah. 61 00:02:58,881 --> 00:03:00,799 - Been tied up? - Yup. 62 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,139 WOMAN: Kissed before exchanging names? 63 00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:04,030 Yup. 64 00:03:04,030 --> 00:03:04,863 Squirted? 65 00:03:04,864 --> 00:03:06,669 No, wait, that's not even a real thing. (LAUGHS) 66 00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,349 Prostate massage? 67 00:03:08,350 --> 00:03:09,627 - No, thank you. - Are you sure? 68 00:03:09,628 --> 00:03:11,211 - Ahhh. - Just once? 69 00:03:18,207 --> 00:03:20,235 WOMAN: Hey, have you seen my phone cord? 70 00:03:20,236 --> 00:03:23,185 (BAG RATTLES) 71 00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:24,316 There it is. 72 00:03:24,317 --> 00:03:26,795 Why do you keep so much stuff with you? 73 00:03:26,796 --> 00:03:28,796 Well, you never know. 74 00:03:42,316 --> 00:03:43,149 Enough of these. 75 00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:45,617 Let's go to Angie's boudoir album. 76 00:03:45,618 --> 00:03:47,589 Are you gonna put yourself in there again? 77 00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:48,496 WOMAN: Maybe. 78 00:03:48,497 --> 00:03:49,558 RYAN: Yeah, you want to? 79 00:03:49,559 --> 00:03:50,524 - Maybe. - Yeah? 80 00:03:50,525 --> 00:03:51,834 WOMAN: How 'bout both of us? 81 00:03:51,835 --> 00:03:53,227 RYAN: Oh yeah, if you want. 82 00:03:53,228 --> 00:03:54,395 - Yeah. - Yeah? 83 00:03:58,298 --> 00:04:00,548 (LAUGHING) 84 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:18,619 Okay, I might need your advice on this, 85 00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:20,419 'cause there are 10 things in life 86 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:21,869 that I'll only realize when I'm old. 87 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,119 - Totally qualified. - Yep, yep, okay. 88 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:27,339 Firstly, fight for the thing that means the most to you. 89 00:04:27,340 --> 00:04:28,349 Yep. 90 00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,529 - Agree? - Yep. 91 00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:32,219 You were born for greatness, believe in yourself. 92 00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:33,053 Oh, absolutely. 93 00:04:33,054 --> 00:04:34,275 Everyone's born for greatness. 94 00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:35,678 - I'm great, I'm great. - You're great. 95 00:04:35,679 --> 00:04:37,039 - I think you're great. - Thank you. 96 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,119 - Stop. - Go, next one. 97 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:39,589 - All right, next one. - Read it, read it. 98 00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:41,899 Do it your way, no regrets. 99 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:43,569 Do everything with, like, no consequence, 100 00:04:43,570 --> 00:04:44,610 and be like, "I'm glad I did it that way." 101 00:04:44,611 --> 00:04:45,749 Absolutely. 102 00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:47,369 Okay, sure, yes. 103 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,203 - Yes? - Yes. 104 00:04:48,203 --> 00:04:49,203 Yeah. 105 00:04:49,929 --> 00:04:51,029 What's the last one? 106 00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:53,260 Find your own path. 107 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:55,320 Yeah. 108 00:04:56,090 --> 00:04:57,433 Yeah, find your own path. 109 00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,729 My path is gonna take me to 110 00:04:59,730 --> 00:05:01,109 the best pastries in the world. 111 00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:02,334 Mmm, sounds good. 112 00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:03,637 - France. - Ohh. 113 00:05:03,638 --> 00:05:04,471 Gotta go to France first. 114 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,293 No, this reminds me of work. 115 00:05:06,294 --> 00:05:08,929 I can't stop thinkin' about that big trip. 116 00:05:08,930 --> 00:05:10,059 What trip? 117 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,919 Ah, it's our latest trip deal. 118 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,626 We're pushin' on our fan page, social media and everywhere. 119 00:05:15,627 --> 00:05:19,113 If that one doesn't take off then Magic Wanderers is poof. 120 00:05:22,437 --> 00:05:25,136 Oh, yup, "Our most magical wander yet." 121 00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:28,323 "35 countries, all flights and hostel stay included." 122 00:05:28,324 --> 00:05:30,657 (MUTTERING) 123 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,499 RYAN: Yeah, I still can't believe I let Jono 124 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:40,350 go out of town when it's such a big weekend for the site. 125 00:05:42,370 --> 00:05:44,049 He and Beth, it's been three months 126 00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:44,969 and she's already movin' in. 127 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,419 You think it's a little fast? 128 00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:49,717 Wow. 129 00:05:49,718 --> 00:05:50,718 Ah. 130 00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:54,449 Let's see, yellow, keep it mellow. 131 00:05:54,450 --> 00:05:55,963 If it's brown, flush it down. 132 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,789 Savin' the planet one flush at a time. 133 00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:01,069 WOMAN: Oh, my God! 134 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:01,903 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 135 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:02,820 What? What? 136 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,609 That blog, the sugar free recipe! 137 00:06:04,610 --> 00:06:07,219 It's been re-pinned 53 times. 138 00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:08,659 Get out of town. 139 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,989 And it's got three comments for me to approve. 140 00:06:10,990 --> 00:06:12,426 Okay, do it. 141 00:06:12,427 --> 00:06:13,839 I'm too nervous. 142 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:14,959 - Come on, you can do it. - You do it, you do it. 143 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,099 Come on, you do it for me. 144 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,749 Okay, all right. 145 00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:18,750 Okay. 146 00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:21,858 Uh, let's skip the first one. 147 00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:22,746 Why? 148 00:06:22,747 --> 00:06:24,289 What is it? 149 00:06:24,290 --> 00:06:27,069 This recipe looks like sweetened poo. 150 00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:28,266 Definitely canceled, okay. 151 00:06:28,267 --> 00:06:30,759 The second one's like the thing for Viagra. 152 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,019 It's a link I could use some day. 153 00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:33,219 Just keep it up there, no, no? 154 00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:34,679 Okay, all right. 155 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:35,839 This last one is no big deal. 156 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:37,206 It just says, "Your recipe rocks." 157 00:06:37,207 --> 00:06:39,066 "I tried it with my kids, 158 00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:41,866 "and they loved it despite the low sugar. 159 00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:44,523 "Thanks," three exclamation marks. 160 00:06:44,524 --> 00:06:47,679 Yes, you did, baby! (SQUEALS) 161 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,739 Let me tell you, if a third of your comments are good, 162 00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:52,389 you're an internet star. 163 00:06:52,390 --> 00:06:54,549 Have you thought about that bakery cart idea? 164 00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:55,442 Not really. 165 00:06:55,443 --> 00:06:57,039 'Cause in Portland and San Francisco, 166 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,123 it's a huge movement. 167 00:06:58,124 --> 00:07:00,269 I think you could be amazing at here in New Zealand. 168 00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:01,869 You can make it happen. 169 00:07:01,870 --> 00:07:02,703 Maybe. 170 00:07:02,704 --> 00:07:04,189 Yeah, or in the meantime, 171 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:05,979 you could teach me to bake today. 172 00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:06,813 - Okay. - Yes? 173 00:07:06,814 --> 00:07:07,999 - Okay. - Okay, cool. 174 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,143 There's this recipe on your site that's like, 175 00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:14,509 what, are you making wedding dresses? 176 00:07:14,510 --> 00:07:16,963 Is there a new subject, "Dear Blog," 177 00:07:16,964 --> 00:07:18,369 - that I should know about? - No. 178 00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:19,370 That's just my stupid cousin. 179 00:07:19,371 --> 00:07:21,399 She wants me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. 180 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,309 Oh, well, that's not stupid, right? 181 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,469 Well, she's like 21. 182 00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:25,999 Why is she getting married that young? 183 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,849 I mean, did people in your generation 184 00:07:27,850 --> 00:07:28,683 get married that young? 185 00:07:28,684 --> 00:07:29,719 Oh, my generation? 186 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:30,839 Oh, you mean like the Great Depression? 187 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:31,810 - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 188 00:07:31,811 --> 00:07:33,546 We had to sit together back then, so... 189 00:07:33,547 --> 00:07:35,539 No, seriously. 190 00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:38,679 Oh, well, there was this one girl. 191 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,489 Her name was Jessica, 192 00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:43,479 and we dated for a little bit, 193 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,069 and then we broke up right after school, 194 00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:48,119 and the first guy she went out with 195 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,478 after that got her pregnant. 196 00:07:51,479 --> 00:07:52,312 Oh. 197 00:07:52,313 --> 00:07:54,559 Yeah, so she had kids right away. 198 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,289 She must've had a very boring sex life, then, 199 00:07:56,290 --> 00:07:57,869 with just the one guy. 200 00:07:57,870 --> 00:07:58,703 But at the same time, you know, 201 00:07:58,704 --> 00:08:00,589 if you're with one person for a long time, 202 00:08:00,590 --> 00:08:03,743 they can start to know all your tricks and licks, you know? 203 00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:05,669 I remember this thing that she used 204 00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:07,079 to do to me in her basement. 205 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:07,913 No, wait, hang on, hang on. 206 00:08:07,914 --> 00:08:11,199 We have a rule that we don't go into detail about our exes. 207 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,200 Okay. 208 00:08:14,359 --> 00:08:16,049 Are you jealous? 209 00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:16,883 No. 210 00:08:16,884 --> 00:08:17,907 You don't have to be jealous. 211 00:08:17,908 --> 00:08:19,969 There's nothing to threaten you here. 212 00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:21,669 'Cause if it really bothered you, 213 00:08:21,670 --> 00:08:23,149 one thing that we could do is 214 00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:27,721 I could just change my relationship status 215 00:08:27,722 --> 00:08:29,019 to be attached to Lizzie Conley. 216 00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:30,662 Are you serious? 217 00:08:30,663 --> 00:08:32,113 No. 218 00:08:32,114 --> 00:08:35,260 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 219 00:08:35,261 --> 00:08:36,310 Oh, my God, why would you do that? 220 00:08:36,311 --> 00:08:37,992 No, I didn't do it. 221 00:08:37,993 --> 00:08:41,129 I did it, but it doesn't count until you approve it. 222 00:08:41,130 --> 00:08:43,109 Well, the great thing about our relationship 223 00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,859 is that we're free to be just us, 224 00:08:44,860 --> 00:08:46,269 just be honest and everything. 225 00:08:46,270 --> 00:08:48,049 Okay, yeah, of course, yeah. 226 00:08:48,050 --> 00:08:50,459 I mean, we have an honest, open thing. 227 00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:52,226 I don't want to, you know? 228 00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,029 - That's not who we are. - No. 229 00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,809 We're free to do and be, 230 00:08:55,810 --> 00:08:57,539 and be and do who... 231 00:08:57,540 --> 00:08:59,109 Right, we're open, and... 232 00:08:59,110 --> 00:09:00,570 - Yeah. - Yeah. 233 00:09:00,571 --> 00:09:02,399 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 234 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,519 I mean, we don't have to be like Ozzie and Harriet, 235 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,909 Donna Reid, 1950s Nick at Nite show, you know? 236 00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:08,409 Like your job is to make my dinner 237 00:09:08,410 --> 00:09:09,479 on time when we get home from work. 238 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,539 Absolutely, and make sure that you say grace at the table. 239 00:09:11,540 --> 00:09:14,119 Yes, everyone holding hands, and then our 2.5 children... 240 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:14,953 Playing Yahtzee. 241 00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,249 Playing Yahtzee at the end of the night, 242 00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:17,250 and goin' to bed. 243 00:09:18,039 --> 00:09:20,713 (GROANING) in separate beds. 244 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:25,599 Thank you for that sexual intercourse. 245 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:26,600 Oh, you're very welcome. 246 00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:28,829 I was pretending the whole time. 247 00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:30,639 At least now I have my sperm inside you, 248 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,879 so that you can give me my third child. 249 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:33,713 Aw, thank you, darling. 250 00:09:33,714 --> 00:09:35,603 You're such a loving provider. 251 00:09:37,390 --> 00:09:39,409 No white picket fence for us. 252 00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:40,867 Mm. 253 00:09:40,868 --> 00:09:43,118 (CHUCKLES) 254 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:49,559 (SHOWER RUNNING) (SOMBER GUITAR MUSIC) 255 00:10:14,098 --> 00:10:15,185 RYAN: Turn off the... 256 00:10:15,186 --> 00:10:17,374 LIZZIE: Okay, 80%, this water. 257 00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:19,227 And energy. 258 00:10:19,228 --> 00:10:21,311 (LAUGHS) 259 00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:25,962 Hey, so I want to talk to you... 260 00:10:25,963 --> 00:10:29,259 I just wanted to say that I'm totally okay 261 00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:32,376 with this whole no strings attached thing, okay? 262 00:10:32,377 --> 00:10:35,429 I'm not gonna get obsessive or crazy. 263 00:10:35,430 --> 00:10:37,993 It's your path 100% of the way. 264 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,180 Okay? 265 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,229 Hey, so you know the deal on your site? 266 00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:50,909 I thought we weren't gonna talk about work today. 267 00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:53,499 The thing is makin' me lose more money and hair by the day. 268 00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,763 Yeah, but I'm thinking of taking it. 269 00:10:59,087 --> 00:11:02,317 Great. 270 00:11:02,318 --> 00:11:03,318 Great. 271 00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:05,699 No. 272 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:07,183 No, no, it's great. 273 00:11:09,547 --> 00:11:10,833 Can you afford it? 274 00:11:12,719 --> 00:11:16,019 I don't know, I mean, I can borrow from somebody. 275 00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:17,379 You know what, it's crazy. 276 00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:18,280 We don't have to talk about work. 277 00:11:18,281 --> 00:11:20,269 We don't need another potential customer in the shower. 278 00:11:20,270 --> 00:11:21,270 It's okay. 279 00:11:23,788 --> 00:11:26,955 (SOMBER GUITAR MUSIC) 280 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:43,809 If you're gonna be on my show, 281 00:11:43,810 --> 00:11:45,599 you better not use a recipe book. 282 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:46,659 Fine. 283 00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:47,650 - Fine. - Fine. 284 00:11:47,650 --> 00:11:48,522 - Fine. - Fine. 285 00:11:48,523 --> 00:11:49,739 (LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC) 286 00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:53,048 (MUFFLED MOANING) 287 00:11:53,049 --> 00:11:54,489 LIZZIE: Watch the pro, watch the pro. 288 00:11:54,490 --> 00:11:56,079 Stop moving it, just leave it. 289 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,555 Hold it, hold it, hold it. Okay. 290 00:11:57,556 --> 00:11:58,608 (BOTH LAUGHING) 291 00:11:58,609 --> 00:11:59,848 RYAN: Check this out. 292 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:00,970 Oh, shit. 293 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,925 - Oh, clearly. (LAUGHING) - See? 294 00:12:02,926 --> 00:12:04,526 RYAN: That's really good, just one hand. 295 00:12:06,314 --> 00:12:08,922 This is like cake mix. 296 00:12:08,923 --> 00:12:09,756 - Okay. - What did you do? 297 00:12:09,757 --> 00:12:11,220 - Is that bad? - That's very bad. 298 00:12:11,221 --> 00:12:12,801 (SKILLET SIZZLES) 299 00:12:12,802 --> 00:12:13,693 (RYAN MIMICS SIZZLING) 300 00:12:13,693 --> 00:12:14,526 LIZZIE: Ahh. 301 00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:15,359 Magic. 302 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,989 And in the US they make these silver dollar ones. 303 00:12:16,990 --> 00:12:18,319 I don't know if they do that here. 304 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,070 Like pikelets. 305 00:12:20,071 --> 00:12:20,911 Pie clits? 306 00:12:20,912 --> 00:12:22,132 - Pikelets. - Pie clits? 307 00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:23,732 They're like really small, (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 308 00:12:23,733 --> 00:12:25,452 RYAN: More, more, more, 309 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:26,793 more, more, more... 310 00:12:26,794 --> 00:12:28,412 No, that's enough, that's enough, that's enough. 311 00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:30,492 - (LAUGHS) - Oh, man. 312 00:12:30,493 --> 00:12:32,249 This is gonna make me kinda sick, huh? 313 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:33,409 All right. 314 00:12:33,410 --> 00:12:34,410 Um, 315 00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:36,620 can we? 316 00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:39,892 No, I don't, I don't want, (STAMMERS) 317 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,679 we were talking before about the whole 50s thing, 318 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:43,919 and it's ridiculous, right? 319 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,879 But one thing that we don't really ever do is, 320 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,199 I don't really do enough, 321 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,559 is give gratitude, you know? 322 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:51,869 So, I just thought, 323 00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:53,919 but it's stupid, it's stupid, let's just eat. 324 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,559 No, wait, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. 325 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,119 I watched a Ted Talk where people 326 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,070 who are grateful happen to live longer. 327 00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:02,683 Okay, yeah. 328 00:13:03,670 --> 00:13:04,909 Let's live longer. 329 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:05,825 - Okay. - Okay. 330 00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:09,158 (CHUCKLES) All right. 331 00:13:10,510 --> 00:13:12,123 Okay, uh, 332 00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:16,199 I'm grateful to be here at Ryan's house, 333 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,059 which is swanky. 334 00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:19,424 Well, it's not really my house. 335 00:13:19,425 --> 00:13:20,779 It's more like Jono's house. 336 00:13:20,780 --> 00:13:22,435 - You still live here. - Well, I just live here. 337 00:13:22,436 --> 00:13:23,269 (CROSS-TALKING) 338 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,879 - Okay. - Okay. 339 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,199 Uh, I'm thankful to the universe 340 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,899 for creating stars that blow up 341 00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:32,819 into different elements and reassemble themselves 342 00:13:32,820 --> 00:13:35,963 into amazing pancakes with the help of an amazing cook. 343 00:13:37,079 --> 00:13:39,943 I'm grateful to maple syrup for being on sale. 344 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:46,077 I'm grateful to maple syrup trees in Canada 345 00:13:46,078 --> 00:13:48,219 that have survived climate change long enough 346 00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:52,473 to stay cold enough to keep making syrup for us forever. 347 00:13:54,110 --> 00:13:55,699 I'm grateful to fossil fuels for bringing me 348 00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:58,050 cute American guys to New Zealand to play with. 349 00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:01,529 And to Magic Wanders, uh, that exists 350 00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:04,109 because for the first time in world history, 351 00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:08,379 people can truly wander at will to pursue happiness 352 00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,913 in any way that they want. 353 00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:13,830 Amen? 354 00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:16,079 (CAMERA SHUTTERING) It looks amazing, isn't it? 355 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:17,639 LIZZIE: It's so good, mm-hmm. 356 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,299 It is gorgeous. 357 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:20,589 Oh, I know what we can do. (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 358 00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:23,039 We can go over and start off in Enigma, right? 359 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:25,089 And then slowly go up Mount Vick. 360 00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:26,903 Please untag me from the photo. 361 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:29,993 Okay. 362 00:14:31,153 --> 00:14:33,589 I just don't want my colleagues and stuff... 363 00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:34,619 No, no, I wouldn't want you 364 00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:35,829 to stop dating your colleagues, 365 00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:37,669 or have the option at least to... 366 00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:38,640 No. 367 00:14:38,641 --> 00:14:40,019 No, it's okay, it's okay. 368 00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:42,402 Also, Tinder is an option for you as well. 369 00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:44,609 It's still on your phone. Yeah. 370 00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:46,683 I should get rid of it eventually. 371 00:14:47,650 --> 00:14:48,650 Did you? 372 00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:51,149 Oh, no, it's probably still 373 00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:52,439 maybe in the back of my phone somewhere. 374 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,159 I think I have it, like, inside of a folder of a folder. 375 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,710 I can do a search for it, but... 376 00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:02,189 I just think online's just, 377 00:15:02,190 --> 00:15:03,639 try and keep things private sometimes. 378 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,237 You don't have to tell everybody everything. 379 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,659 (PHONE WHISTLES) (FORCED CHUCKLING) 380 00:15:08,660 --> 00:15:10,979 Ooh, your college friend, Angie, 381 00:15:10,980 --> 00:15:15,249 oh, speak of the devil, is liking my photos. 382 00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:16,989 She thinks I'm sexy. 383 00:15:16,990 --> 00:15:18,767 That's not the word she used for me. 384 00:15:18,768 --> 00:15:19,601 (CHUCKLES) 385 00:15:19,601 --> 00:15:20,440 She's stalking both of us. 386 00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:23,299 I think you two are meant to be together, basically. 387 00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:24,300 Maybe. 388 00:15:26,678 --> 00:15:27,678 I'll tell you what. 389 00:15:29,397 --> 00:15:31,085 (PHONE CAMERA CLICKS) Are you snapping her? 390 00:15:31,086 --> 00:15:31,958 Yeah. 391 00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:33,219 (CHUCKLES) Snapchatting or whatever? 392 00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:34,719 That's amateur. 393 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,089 Phone sex. 394 00:15:36,090 --> 00:15:38,549 Now that is a lost art. 395 00:15:38,550 --> 00:15:40,129 - What are you doing? - Calling Angie. 396 00:15:40,130 --> 00:15:41,187 Oh, my God, no you're not. 397 00:15:41,188 --> 00:15:42,365 (LAUGHS) Yes. 398 00:15:42,366 --> 00:15:43,199 No, no, no! 399 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,359 Wait, wait, it's ringing. 400 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,984 - It's okay. - Are you serious? 401 00:15:45,985 --> 00:15:48,288 No, no, no, no, no, no! 402 00:15:48,289 --> 00:15:50,609 Wait, wait, hang on, hang on, hang on! 403 00:15:50,610 --> 00:15:52,039 It's still ringing, let her pick up. 404 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,040 Stop, come on. 405 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,699 That's crossing the line. 406 00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:01,199 What's wrong with a little analog love? 407 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,819 I don't even know what that is. 408 00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:04,851 Oh, really? 409 00:16:04,852 --> 00:16:07,821 (GIGGLING) 410 00:16:07,822 --> 00:16:08,822 Mmm. 411 00:16:14,681 --> 00:16:16,789 Oh, we never had sex up here. 412 00:16:16,790 --> 00:16:17,809 Let's do it. 413 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:18,643 No, we don't... 414 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,051 Tell you what, tell you what, hang on. 415 00:16:20,052 --> 00:16:21,410 (GRUNTING) 416 00:16:21,411 --> 00:16:22,244 Okay. 417 00:16:22,245 --> 00:16:23,849 Let's make it like a sexercise thing. 418 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,979 I'm gonna be like the girl from Midnight Espresso, okay, 419 00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:26,970 'cause I know you like her, 420 00:16:26,971 --> 00:16:28,329 and you'll be like thrusting this way, 421 00:16:28,330 --> 00:16:29,636 and then I'm gonna be up this way, 422 00:16:29,637 --> 00:16:31,963 and yeah, it'll be like two birds with one stone. 423 00:16:33,550 --> 00:16:34,550 No. 424 00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:36,213 Let me tell you something. 425 00:16:36,214 --> 00:16:37,975 I have a confession to make, okay? 426 00:16:37,976 --> 00:16:39,606 No, no, no, it's okay, you don't have to tell me anything. 427 00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:40,470 No, I do. 428 00:16:40,471 --> 00:16:41,509 I got to let you know. 429 00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:45,353 You're not just like a body to me. 430 00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:48,790 Yeah? 431 00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:52,860 I love you. 432 00:17:07,056 --> 00:17:08,056 Yay. 433 00:17:10,566 --> 00:17:13,566 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 434 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,267 I don't know, Mum, just busy. 435 00:17:25,153 --> 00:17:27,822 I'm not comparing my life to old uni friends, okay? 436 00:17:27,823 --> 00:17:30,573 (MOUSE CLICKING) 437 00:17:33,020 --> 00:17:35,170 Nothing, I'm just super stressed right now. 438 00:17:47,804 --> 00:17:50,309 (SIGHS) 439 00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:52,110 Yeah, he just got back from the U.S. 440 00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:19,792 (CELL PHONE CHIRPS) 441 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,729 Hey, Mummy, I got to go. 442 00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:47,519 Okay, we'll talk some more soon. 443 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:48,969 Okay, bye. 444 00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:50,173 - Hi. - Hi. 445 00:18:51,140 --> 00:18:52,940 Keep using my laptop if you wanna. 446 00:18:53,786 --> 00:18:54,786 Okay. 447 00:18:55,590 --> 00:18:56,590 Ah, 448 00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:00,669 I've been thinkin' about the trip. 449 00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:01,610 Yeah, me, too. 450 00:19:01,611 --> 00:19:02,999 Okay, all right. 451 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,039 So, if you're thinking about the trip, 452 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,229 I'm thinking about the trip, 453 00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:07,299 I was thinking that maybe instead of going out 454 00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:10,309 for lunch or something like that, 455 00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:14,029 maybe I could help figure it out, you know? 456 00:19:14,030 --> 00:19:15,529 'Cause I wanna be of some kind of use. 457 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:16,969 I know that I can't do anything 458 00:19:16,970 --> 00:19:18,849 on the Magic Wanders end of it. 459 00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:19,959 I mean, it's a one time deal, 460 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,609 but I can help you talk it out, you know, or... 461 00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:24,760 But it's not just about the trip, though. 462 00:19:25,810 --> 00:19:28,989 Yeah, I mean, you've got the bakery cart options 463 00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:30,509 and everything like that, I totally get it, 464 00:19:30,510 --> 00:19:33,573 but I just figured if you take that trip, 465 00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:37,180 this could be our last day together. 466 00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:39,580 Yeah? 467 00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:46,019 Okay, let's do it. 468 00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:46,853 Let's do it. 469 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:47,686 Yeah. 470 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,579 We're gonna have a hot lava moat around the house, okay? 471 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:51,413 - Okay. - We're locked in. 472 00:19:51,414 --> 00:19:52,668 We can't leave. 473 00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:54,228 - Just you and me. - Just us. 474 00:19:54,229 --> 00:19:55,629 Okay. 475 00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:56,630 Uh, 476 00:19:57,710 --> 00:19:58,710 what do we do? 477 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:00,949 I have no idea. 478 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,579 A list. 479 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,159 (LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC) 480 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,289 Probably start with Vegas. 481 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,473 Vegas? Okay, cool. 482 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,248 Uh, parkour. 483 00:20:11,249 --> 00:20:12,749 - Parkore, like... - No, I'm just kidding. 484 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:13,583 No, I want you to do it. 485 00:20:13,584 --> 00:20:15,223 - Build a home. - Okay. 486 00:20:16,170 --> 00:20:17,150 Get in shape. 487 00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:18,083 Get in shape. 488 00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:19,060 Everybody wants to get in shape, right? 489 00:20:19,061 --> 00:20:20,419 Mm-hmm. 490 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,360 Learn an instrument. 491 00:20:21,361 --> 00:20:22,929 On top of that, learn a language. 492 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,929 Um, open a bakery. 493 00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:26,529 Yeah, awesome. 494 00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:27,569 Karate champion. 495 00:20:27,570 --> 00:20:29,309 I used to be a brown belt in high school. 496 00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:31,089 - What? - Join the circus. 497 00:20:31,090 --> 00:20:32,649 Yes. Yes. 498 00:20:32,650 --> 00:20:34,049 Oh, make a web series. 499 00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:35,159 Use my degree? 500 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,749 Use your degree in... 501 00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:38,719 - Philosophy. - Philosophy. 502 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,139 That's a little, yes, you will find a way. 503 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,249 Every day, you're using it. 504 00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:43,181 - Yeah, no? - Yeah. 505 00:20:43,182 --> 00:20:45,509 Okay. (PHONE CHIMES) 506 00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,229 Oh, you've been tagged. 507 00:20:47,230 --> 00:20:48,469 It's your sister and nephews. 508 00:20:48,470 --> 00:20:49,920 I know, yeah, they're cute. 509 00:20:51,213 --> 00:20:52,080 LIZZIE: It says your dad tagged you, 510 00:20:52,081 --> 00:20:53,870 but you're not in it. 511 00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:55,942 Ah. 512 00:20:55,943 --> 00:20:56,943 Yeah. 513 00:20:58,570 --> 00:21:01,092 What else? Uh, long term stuff. 514 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,999 I'd like to pay off my student loans. 515 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,972 Maybe have a family? 516 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:06,113 Have a family? Sure. 517 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:08,320 What else? 518 00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:10,320 White picket fence? 519 00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:15,240 What do you think about that? 520 00:21:16,159 --> 00:21:18,409 (CHUCKLES) 521 00:21:19,393 --> 00:21:20,393 And 522 00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:23,359 what about, like, romance? 523 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,860 I mean, you got your whole life ahead of you here. 524 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:28,139 At least... 525 00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:29,517 - I dunno. - Somethin'. 526 00:21:30,730 --> 00:21:32,349 Like, it might be weird, but just to be honest 527 00:21:32,350 --> 00:21:34,773 about the list, we'll just put this here. 528 00:21:35,731 --> 00:21:36,564 There we go. 529 00:21:36,565 --> 00:21:37,693 Just an idea. 530 00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:40,220 Yeah? 531 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:43,240 Okay. 532 00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:45,850 Shall we? 533 00:21:47,731 --> 00:21:49,898 (EXHALES) 534 00:21:53,830 --> 00:21:54,720 That's a lot of stuff. 535 00:21:54,721 --> 00:21:56,220 Yeah, that's a lot of stuff. 536 00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:01,700 But we could do it. 537 00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:04,399 Today. 538 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,732 (RISING BIG BAND MUSIC) 539 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,439 Reverse strip blackjack. 540 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,949 Look at this, we got clothes everywhere, right? 541 00:22:25,950 --> 00:22:28,650 I mean, half of this is Beth's, and the rest is Paris. 542 00:22:30,260 --> 00:22:33,841 Whoever loses, has to put on a layer. 543 00:22:33,842 --> 00:22:35,451 - Hit. - Boom, you lose! 544 00:22:35,452 --> 00:22:38,590 (CHUCKLES) Why did you hit on 19? 545 00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,508 Aww, come on, bust you. 546 00:22:41,572 --> 00:22:44,822 (CHUCKLING) Very nice. 547 00:22:46,802 --> 00:22:49,052 (CHUCKLES) 548 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,709 Business underneath, and butch, 549 00:22:54,710 --> 00:22:55,562 maybe not so much... 550 00:22:55,562 --> 00:22:56,420 LIZZIE: With the kitty cat. 551 00:22:56,421 --> 00:22:58,649 That's a different kind of butch. 552 00:22:58,650 --> 00:23:01,395 (CAMERA SHUTTERING) 553 00:23:01,396 --> 00:23:02,725 Getting a little sweaty in there, huh? 554 00:23:02,726 --> 00:23:03,570 LIZZIE: It's all right. 555 00:23:03,571 --> 00:23:05,129 Maybe gambling isn't your thing. 556 00:23:05,130 --> 00:23:07,289 Maybe like a Grand Canyon in the US trip 557 00:23:07,290 --> 00:23:09,209 would be your best bet? 558 00:23:09,210 --> 00:23:10,649 What about you, you've moved to Wellington. 559 00:23:10,650 --> 00:23:13,279 You got your start up and you could lose it any minute. 560 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,599 Yeah, but, I dunno, it was just kinda time 561 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,109 to be an adult, you know? 562 00:23:18,110 --> 00:23:21,209 I wanted to make something of myself. 563 00:23:21,210 --> 00:23:23,669 You got to take a risk sometimes to get what you want. 564 00:23:23,670 --> 00:23:25,669 I get the whole bakery thing, I wanna do the bakery thing, 565 00:23:25,670 --> 00:23:27,751 but travel... 566 00:23:27,752 --> 00:23:30,153 Yeah, and don't let anybody hold you back from that. 567 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,805 I was dating this girl in San Francisco, and she... 568 00:23:34,806 --> 00:23:37,409 Hang on, hang on, we have a rule, remember? 569 00:23:37,410 --> 00:23:38,885 Oh, yeah, okay. 570 00:23:38,886 --> 00:23:42,059 (CASUAL ELEVATOR MUSIC) 571 00:23:42,060 --> 00:23:43,429 You know what? Sod it. 572 00:23:43,430 --> 00:23:44,430 Tell me the story. 573 00:23:45,450 --> 00:23:46,283 You sawed it? 574 00:23:46,284 --> 00:23:47,589 Sod, S-O-D. 575 00:23:47,590 --> 00:23:48,423 S-O-D, sod it. 576 00:23:48,423 --> 00:23:49,410 Just put grass on it. 577 00:23:49,411 --> 00:23:50,761 Which means... Screw it, like screw it. 578 00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:51,595 (CHUCKLES) Cool. 579 00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:54,679 Okay, 'cause it's kind of a stupid rule anyway, right? 580 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,669 Yeah, so this girl, uh, 581 00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,999 she was obsessed with painting, 582 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,969 and I thought she was amazingly talented. 583 00:24:01,970 --> 00:24:03,279 And she just had this dream, you know, 584 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,269 like to get away from her crazy mother, 585 00:24:05,270 --> 00:24:08,749 and her little small town life, and do something. 586 00:24:08,750 --> 00:24:13,119 And I tried to help her in any way that I could, you know. 587 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,699 I was like trying to sign her up for classes, 588 00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:16,700 and she wouldn't go, 589 00:24:16,701 --> 00:24:19,209 and I was trying to take her to art galleries, 590 00:24:19,210 --> 00:24:20,043 and she wouldn't go, 591 00:24:20,044 --> 00:24:22,189 and so finally I just, like, 592 00:24:22,190 --> 00:24:25,109 I had to leave her just to give her her space 593 00:24:25,110 --> 00:24:27,773 so she could be who she wanted to be. 594 00:24:28,969 --> 00:24:30,669 And I went traveling. 595 00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:33,009 And I went Calcutta, and it blew my mind, 596 00:24:33,010 --> 00:24:35,440 and I went to Tokyo, and it blew my mind, 597 00:24:35,441 --> 00:24:38,297 and I went to Sri Lanka, and it blew my mind. 598 00:24:38,298 --> 00:24:40,799 And I kept get getting higher, higher, higher 599 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,139 until my head exploded, 600 00:24:42,140 --> 00:24:44,619 and it was one of the best explosions, 601 00:24:44,620 --> 00:24:48,397 second best explosion, ever. (LAUGHING) 602 00:24:49,380 --> 00:24:50,549 - Hit? - Yes. 603 00:24:50,550 --> 00:24:52,596 - Are you sure you wanna hit? - I'm gonna win this. 604 00:24:52,597 --> 00:24:53,430 (GROANS) 605 00:24:53,430 --> 00:24:54,263 (LAUGHING) 606 00:24:54,264 --> 00:24:56,377 You're so busted! 607 00:24:56,378 --> 00:24:59,295 (LAUGHING) So easy! 608 00:25:04,266 --> 00:25:06,266 You know I was just kidding about Parkour, right? 609 00:25:07,410 --> 00:25:10,356 Sometimes our greatest dreams are kidded first. 610 00:25:10,357 --> 00:25:12,563 INSTRUCTOR: And two, and three, and... 611 00:25:12,564 --> 00:25:16,103 (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 612 00:25:16,104 --> 00:25:17,501 (GRUNTS) 613 00:25:17,502 --> 00:25:18,502 It's easy! 614 00:25:21,062 --> 00:25:24,069 (CACOPHONOUS BANGING) 615 00:25:24,070 --> 00:25:24,909 Remember to breathe. 616 00:25:24,910 --> 00:25:27,159 Are my buns steel-ifying? 617 00:25:28,470 --> 00:25:30,877 (CACOPHONOUS BANGING) 618 00:25:30,878 --> 00:25:34,210 (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 619 00:25:34,211 --> 00:25:36,469 INSTRUCTOR: Feel that burn! 620 00:25:36,470 --> 00:25:37,749 My tempo, my tempo! (BANGING POTS) 621 00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:38,909 My tempo, my tempo, 622 00:25:38,910 --> 00:25:41,327 my tempo, my tempo, my tempo! 623 00:25:43,150 --> 00:25:44,091 (GRUNTING) 624 00:25:44,092 --> 00:25:45,137 Come on, no. 625 00:25:45,138 --> 00:25:46,976 You're looking at me like that's an impossible move 626 00:25:46,977 --> 00:25:47,840 or something like that. 627 00:25:47,841 --> 00:25:49,033 Anybody can do that. 628 00:25:50,330 --> 00:25:51,163 That's not what I meant. 629 00:25:51,164 --> 00:25:52,189 Nobody can do, 630 00:25:52,190 --> 00:25:53,379 very few people. 631 00:25:53,380 --> 00:25:55,029 There's only one per, there's two. 632 00:25:55,030 --> 00:25:57,193 You're amazing in every way. 633 00:25:59,851 --> 00:26:04,184 (BOTH SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 634 00:26:07,510 --> 00:26:08,810 - Maori language. - Maori. 635 00:26:08,811 --> 00:26:10,257 Okay, oh, yeah, bro. 636 00:26:10,258 --> 00:26:11,399 Let's go. 637 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:12,429 - No. - That sounds right. 638 00:26:12,430 --> 00:26:13,727 Doesn't that sound good? 639 00:26:13,728 --> 00:26:14,969 Is that, is that racist? 640 00:26:14,970 --> 00:26:15,950 Is that bad? 641 00:26:15,951 --> 00:26:16,988 That's pretty bad. 642 00:26:16,989 --> 00:26:20,906 (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 643 00:26:21,990 --> 00:26:23,627 You know what? I got this. 644 00:26:23,628 --> 00:26:25,239 I can do it, okay, I don't need this. 645 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:26,559 Uh, 646 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:27,847 all righty. 647 00:26:27,848 --> 00:26:28,931 Here we go. 648 00:26:29,819 --> 00:26:33,736 (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 649 00:26:39,630 --> 00:26:41,010 Ahh! 650 00:26:41,011 --> 00:26:43,159 That was fucking awesome. 651 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:44,259 I'm gonna email this to you, okay? 652 00:26:44,260 --> 00:26:46,959 You can post it and send it to everybody you know. 653 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,733 It's all right, you can tag me. 654 00:26:52,856 --> 00:26:54,715 I'm gonna do it again. 655 00:26:54,716 --> 00:26:55,549 (SIGHS) 656 00:26:55,550 --> 00:26:57,057 Yeah. 657 00:26:57,058 --> 00:27:00,975 (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 658 00:27:03,706 --> 00:27:05,913 (PHONE CLICKING) 659 00:27:05,914 --> 00:27:08,229 (GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC) 660 00:27:08,230 --> 00:27:10,096 If you can get one more sheet from down there, 661 00:27:10,097 --> 00:27:12,409 and we'll just cover it up at the top. 662 00:27:12,410 --> 00:27:13,889 Take this, 663 00:27:13,890 --> 00:27:15,484 this... (GIGGLING) 664 00:27:15,485 --> 00:27:17,293 - This right here. - Ahh! 665 00:27:17,294 --> 00:27:18,364 - Like this? - No. 666 00:27:18,365 --> 00:27:19,294 - Like this? - (CHUCKLES) No. 667 00:27:19,294 --> 00:27:20,165 - Like this? - (LAUGHS) No! 668 00:27:20,165 --> 00:27:20,998 Like this? 669 00:27:20,999 --> 00:27:22,362 Oh, your McMansion is killing me! 670 00:27:22,363 --> 00:27:26,043 LIZZIE: It's my house, eco boy! (Laughs) 671 00:27:27,910 --> 00:27:29,569 RYAN: So how can I be more useful here? 672 00:27:29,570 --> 00:27:31,709 Okay, you can go make us some tea. 673 00:27:31,710 --> 00:27:33,964 I'm American, I don't know how to make tea. 674 00:27:33,965 --> 00:27:34,860 (CLINKING) 675 00:27:34,860 --> 00:27:35,860 Well done. 676 00:27:37,150 --> 00:27:38,719 Is this earthquake proof, though? 677 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:39,974 - Oh, totally. - Okay. 678 00:27:39,975 --> 00:27:40,808 Totally. 679 00:27:40,809 --> 00:27:42,289 I am seriously impressed. 680 00:27:42,290 --> 00:27:44,629 It could use some art, though, you know? 681 00:27:44,630 --> 00:27:46,839 Well, what about that painter girl? 682 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:48,609 She's busy, trust me. 683 00:27:48,610 --> 00:27:49,929 How do you know? 684 00:27:49,930 --> 00:27:52,489 All right, so I was traveling for like three months 685 00:27:52,490 --> 00:27:53,549 after we broke up, right, 686 00:27:53,550 --> 00:27:55,429 and I'm getting a little bit lonely on the road. 687 00:27:55,430 --> 00:27:58,699 And so at an internet cafe in Ghana, 688 00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:01,409 I Facebook stalk her, right? 689 00:28:01,410 --> 00:28:04,869 I look on her profile, and her picture is just just her 690 00:28:04,870 --> 00:28:07,809 but it's also this guy with his arm around her, 691 00:28:07,810 --> 00:28:09,309 and looks nothing like me, 692 00:28:09,310 --> 00:28:11,363 but looks a lot like her dad. 693 00:28:12,383 --> 00:28:14,059 It was a little weird before I realized 694 00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:16,129 that actually this guy also lives 695 00:28:16,130 --> 00:28:18,599 in the same small town that she was trying to escape from. 696 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,469 I find out from my mom a couple months later 697 00:28:20,470 --> 00:28:22,259 that she's engaged, 698 00:28:22,260 --> 00:28:24,959 and I find out from my mom a couple months later after that 699 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:26,049 that they're married, 700 00:28:26,050 --> 00:28:29,557 and a couple months after that, nuclear family, you know? 701 00:28:30,434 --> 00:28:31,434 I didn't ask. 702 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,599 It must be kinda nice to have some sort of stability. 703 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:36,829 You know, have a nice house, 704 00:28:36,830 --> 00:28:39,113 and maybe a trampoline in the backyard. 705 00:28:40,205 --> 00:28:41,205 Yeah. 706 00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:44,929 I mean, did she ever paint again? 707 00:28:44,930 --> 00:28:47,859 I checked the fan page that I made her, 708 00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:50,079 there wasn't another post. 709 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,019 Twitter, Instagram, same thing. 710 00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:54,099 And I googled everywhere to see if she'd 711 00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:55,409 done anything with her life at that point, 712 00:28:55,410 --> 00:28:58,043 but, like, no painting. 713 00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:01,840 Uh, but don't read into it. 714 00:29:02,910 --> 00:29:04,153 You know, it's... 715 00:29:05,515 --> 00:29:10,015 (CONTEMPLATIVE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC) 716 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:13,759 Bakery is next. 717 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,139 Uh, let's go to the kitchen. 718 00:29:15,140 --> 00:29:15,973 Let's do... 719 00:29:15,973 --> 00:29:16,973 Can we skip this one? 720 00:29:18,170 --> 00:29:19,199 Yeah. 721 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:20,090 Yeah, okay, yeah. 722 00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:21,483 Uh, then, 723 00:29:22,565 --> 00:29:23,565 yeah. 724 00:29:25,006 --> 00:29:25,839 Yeah. 725 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,589 (WARM ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC) 726 00:29:45,057 --> 00:29:49,960 (WHACKING) (GRUNTS) 727 00:29:49,961 --> 00:29:54,491 What was that? (CHUCKLES) 728 00:29:54,492 --> 00:29:56,033 (GRUNTS) Oh! 729 00:29:56,034 --> 00:29:58,284 (GROANING) 730 00:29:59,143 --> 00:30:02,153 You almost burnt my face on the hot lava line. 731 00:30:02,154 --> 00:30:03,829 And you don't care, all right. 732 00:30:03,830 --> 00:30:05,530 You were clearly the school bully. 733 00:30:07,361 --> 00:30:09,329 When's the last time you said you did this? 734 00:30:09,330 --> 00:30:11,041 I was 17. 735 00:30:11,042 --> 00:30:11,890 I was gonna quit earlier, 736 00:30:11,891 --> 00:30:14,273 but there was this cute guy in class, Ethan. 737 00:30:14,274 --> 00:30:15,107 (CHUCKLES) Oh, okay. 738 00:30:15,108 --> 00:30:17,129 Cool, it's worth gettin' violent 739 00:30:17,130 --> 00:30:19,029 for an Ethan, right? 740 00:30:19,030 --> 00:30:20,409 Yeah, he went to a different high school, 741 00:30:20,410 --> 00:30:22,652 and he had dreams, kind of like your painter girl, 742 00:30:22,653 --> 00:30:24,839 except, you know, he went for his dreams. 743 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,819 He got into this prestigious music school in Vienna. 744 00:30:27,820 --> 00:30:28,680 Okay. 745 00:30:28,681 --> 00:30:30,699 And, you know, I thought I loved him, 746 00:30:30,700 --> 00:30:33,810 so I was young, I let him go, you know. 747 00:30:35,150 --> 00:30:37,079 But I looked him on Facebook four years later, 748 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,559 and turns out the last post he ever made 749 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:40,769 was three years before that. 750 00:30:40,770 --> 00:30:42,899 Ahh, okay, so he either ended up being 751 00:30:42,900 --> 00:30:45,049 a failed musician, 752 00:30:45,050 --> 00:30:47,189 or he turned out to be so successful 753 00:30:47,190 --> 00:30:48,979 that he's like fuck social media, 754 00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:51,739 I'm just gonna be my true artist self. 755 00:30:51,740 --> 00:30:52,940 Actually, he was dead. 756 00:30:55,190 --> 00:30:57,469 About six months after he moved, 757 00:30:57,470 --> 00:31:00,399 he was crossing the street and got hit by a car. 758 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,169 That's fuckin' terrible. 759 00:31:02,170 --> 00:31:04,379 Look, it was three years ago, 760 00:31:04,380 --> 00:31:07,089 and we dated seven years ago, but... 761 00:31:07,090 --> 00:31:08,509 - Do you wanna just... - What? 762 00:31:08,510 --> 00:31:09,887 It seems like a weird... 763 00:31:11,431 --> 00:31:13,478 What, what are you doing? 764 00:31:13,479 --> 00:31:16,219 (CHUCKLES) 765 00:31:16,220 --> 00:31:17,220 Okay. 766 00:31:18,077 --> 00:31:20,729 Actually, it was kind of alleviated by the fact 767 00:31:20,730 --> 00:31:23,589 that it was a memorial tribute from his Austrian girlfriend 768 00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:25,440 who he had been dating for two years. 769 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:28,873 Wait, like two years. 770 00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:34,709 She was an exchange student at his high school. 771 00:31:34,710 --> 00:31:37,199 He'd been seeing me and her at the same time. 772 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,209 I think she was probably the reason 773 00:31:38,210 --> 00:31:39,453 why he moved to Vienna. 774 00:31:41,778 --> 00:31:42,785 That's fuckin' awful. 775 00:31:42,786 --> 00:31:44,939 (WHACKS) (GRUNTING) 776 00:31:44,940 --> 00:31:46,599 Seriously. 777 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:47,530 Come on, get up. 778 00:31:47,530 --> 00:31:48,530 Got one more move. 779 00:31:56,159 --> 00:31:58,076 The hell are you doing? 780 00:31:59,370 --> 00:32:01,139 All right, if you don't know what that is, then you win. 781 00:32:01,140 --> 00:32:02,549 (CHUCKLING) You win. 782 00:32:02,550 --> 00:32:04,122 No, no, no, hey, I'm kidding. 783 00:32:04,123 --> 00:32:06,249 It's the Karate Kid. 784 00:32:06,250 --> 00:32:07,250 Thank you. 785 00:32:08,738 --> 00:32:10,486 With Jane Smith. 786 00:32:10,487 --> 00:32:11,606 I'll ring your... (LAUGHS) 787 00:32:11,607 --> 00:32:15,190 (GRAND ORCHESTRATED MUSIC) 788 00:32:18,439 --> 00:32:21,467 (GRUNTING) 789 00:32:21,468 --> 00:32:23,718 (GRUNTING) 790 00:32:25,298 --> 00:32:28,832 It's like so easy in the YouTubes. 791 00:32:28,833 --> 00:32:30,817 Yes, yes, yes! 792 00:32:30,818 --> 00:32:32,187 - No! - Yes, no, yes! 793 00:32:32,188 --> 00:32:33,639 (GRUNTING) 794 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,179 RYAN: Ready, circus superstar? 795 00:32:35,180 --> 00:32:37,799 I'm ready to be the star attraction. 796 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:39,406 One, 797 00:32:39,407 --> 00:32:40,849 two, 798 00:32:40,850 --> 00:32:41,720 three. 799 00:32:41,721 --> 00:32:43,124 (GRUNTING) 800 00:32:43,125 --> 00:32:44,206 (GRUNTS) Wait! 801 00:32:44,207 --> 00:32:45,110 (LAUGHING) 802 00:32:45,111 --> 00:32:46,193 You're Superwoman! 803 00:32:47,620 --> 00:32:49,135 What's it like up there? 804 00:32:49,136 --> 00:32:53,928 Feels amazing! (LAUGHS) 805 00:32:53,929 --> 00:32:55,916 (GIGGLES) 806 00:32:55,917 --> 00:32:56,867 (PHONE CHIRPS) 807 00:32:56,868 --> 00:32:58,496 Oh, oh! Oof! 808 00:32:58,497 --> 00:33:00,477 (GROANING) 809 00:33:00,478 --> 00:33:01,902 - You okay? - I'm okay. 810 00:33:01,903 --> 00:33:03,070 You're okay. 811 00:33:05,227 --> 00:33:06,489 Ahh. 812 00:33:06,490 --> 00:33:07,854 It's a short career. 813 00:33:07,855 --> 00:33:10,105 (LAUGHING) 814 00:33:34,436 --> 00:33:35,475 Ow. 815 00:33:35,476 --> 00:33:37,893 (SNICKERING) 816 00:33:38,785 --> 00:33:40,554 You havin' a good time today? 817 00:33:40,555 --> 00:33:41,804 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, I'm having a great time. 818 00:33:41,805 --> 00:33:42,849 Good. 819 00:33:42,850 --> 00:33:44,569 So we're good then, right? 820 00:33:44,570 --> 00:33:46,259 We're doin' pretty good, you and me. 821 00:33:46,260 --> 00:33:47,260 - Mm. - Mm. 822 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:51,300 Do you believe in polyamory? 823 00:33:52,310 --> 00:33:55,309 Uh, isn't that officially what we have? 824 00:33:55,310 --> 00:33:56,619 Um, we're not really official. 825 00:33:56,620 --> 00:33:58,199 Well, it's like technical, I mean... 826 00:33:58,200 --> 00:33:59,655 Are you dating anyone else? 827 00:33:59,656 --> 00:34:01,114 (CHUCKLES) Not that I know of. 828 00:34:01,115 --> 00:34:02,579 (CHUCKLING) 829 00:34:02,580 --> 00:34:04,189 Last time I checked, you were lying next to me 830 00:34:04,190 --> 00:34:06,609 like six to seven nights a week. 831 00:34:06,610 --> 00:34:08,775 Are you dating anyone while I'm sleeping or... 832 00:34:08,776 --> 00:34:09,707 Obviously I'm not. 833 00:34:09,708 --> 00:34:10,749 (CHUCKLING) Okay, good. 834 00:34:10,750 --> 00:34:12,759 All I'm saying that maybe what I had 835 00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:14,453 with Ethan was polyamory. 836 00:34:16,254 --> 00:34:17,539 Well, it woulda been cool, 837 00:34:17,540 --> 00:34:18,932 but it would be nice to have known about it. 838 00:34:18,933 --> 00:34:20,865 (LAUGHING) Yeah. 839 00:34:20,866 --> 00:34:21,886 Sounds like a cool idea. 840 00:34:21,887 --> 00:34:23,257 I think that's a prerequisite. 841 00:34:23,258 --> 00:34:25,909 (LAUGHS) 842 00:34:25,910 --> 00:34:27,199 I don't think, honestly, at the end of the day, 843 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,033 people can share much of anything. 844 00:34:29,975 --> 00:34:31,549 What do you mean? 845 00:34:31,550 --> 00:34:36,299 Well, all right, so I went to this commune in Spain 846 00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:39,629 where they literally did share everything, yeah? 847 00:34:39,630 --> 00:34:40,570 One of those intentional communities, 848 00:34:40,571 --> 00:34:43,289 and you share money and resources, and... 849 00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:44,123 Yeah. 850 00:34:44,123 --> 00:34:44,956 Why is that bad for you? 851 00:34:44,957 --> 00:34:47,409 I mean, it's all about sustainability, right? 852 00:34:47,410 --> 00:34:50,081 Yeah, no, I didn't even know what sustainability was. 853 00:34:50,082 --> 00:34:51,369 (CHUCKLES) until like three months ago, 854 00:34:51,370 --> 00:34:53,519 and I'm just saying that, like, they lost a lot of people 855 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,169 because they couldn't hold onto 'em. 856 00:34:55,170 --> 00:34:57,629 Everybody wanted their own stuff, you know? 857 00:34:57,630 --> 00:35:01,219 And in this day and age where everything's about, you know, 858 00:35:01,220 --> 00:35:04,969 the white picket fence and keeping up with the Joneses, 859 00:35:04,970 --> 00:35:07,799 there was this gal, her name was Indigo, 860 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,129 and she was my host. 861 00:35:09,130 --> 00:35:12,729 And at community dinners, we would sit next to each other, 862 00:35:12,730 --> 00:35:15,499 and her leg was like rubbing up against my leg, 863 00:35:15,500 --> 00:35:17,629 and I don't know, but she told me 864 00:35:17,630 --> 00:35:19,889 that I should meet her at this building along the creek. 865 00:35:19,890 --> 00:35:22,439 So that night, I go and I walk along the creek, 866 00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,716 and there are signs there that say, 867 00:35:24,717 --> 00:35:27,194 "This way, Love Hut number seven." 868 00:35:27,195 --> 00:35:28,028 (CHUCKLING) 869 00:35:28,029 --> 00:35:30,159 So I'm like, okay. 870 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:35,160 So I get there, and there's this guy waiting for me, 871 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,533 and he introduces himself as Indigo's husband. 872 00:35:41,595 --> 00:35:43,379 - (SNICKERS) Yeah. - What? 873 00:35:43,380 --> 00:35:45,659 And he's simply there with a big bright smile on his face 874 00:35:45,660 --> 00:35:49,433 giving me instructions on exactly how to please his wife. 875 00:35:50,420 --> 00:35:51,839 Because when I say they shared everything, 876 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,773 I mean, they literally, like, shared everything? 877 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,829 Did you go through with it? 878 00:35:57,830 --> 00:35:59,011 Yeah. 879 00:35:59,012 --> 00:36:01,149 I mean, you know, like social obligation. 880 00:36:01,150 --> 00:36:02,550 And he gave me instructions. 881 00:36:03,660 --> 00:36:04,580 I just think at the end of the day, 882 00:36:04,581 --> 00:36:06,189 it's not good for the kids. 883 00:36:06,190 --> 00:36:07,209 Maybe it is good for those kids, 884 00:36:07,210 --> 00:36:08,889 but I grew up in a world where it's like 885 00:36:08,890 --> 00:36:10,409 one man, one woman, 886 00:36:10,410 --> 00:36:12,979 or I guess now it could be two women or two men, you know. 887 00:36:12,980 --> 00:36:15,409 But they're in a committed relationship. 888 00:36:15,410 --> 00:36:16,330 - Yeah? - Yeah. 889 00:36:16,331 --> 00:36:18,469 And Anything else kind of feels 890 00:36:18,470 --> 00:36:20,301 like they're lying to themselves. 891 00:36:20,302 --> 00:36:21,450 - Yeah. - Yeah. 892 00:36:21,451 --> 00:36:22,330 I don't think I could be with a guy 893 00:36:22,331 --> 00:36:24,059 who's lying to himself anyway. 894 00:36:24,060 --> 00:36:25,060 Yeah. 895 00:36:28,051 --> 00:36:30,352 (DOOR SLAMS) 896 00:36:30,353 --> 00:36:31,186 (SNIFFS) 897 00:36:31,187 --> 00:36:33,186 (SIGHS) 898 00:36:35,662 --> 00:36:39,162 (PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES) 899 00:36:48,221 --> 00:36:50,804 (PHONE CHIRPS) 900 00:36:56,321 --> 00:36:58,904 (PHONE CHIRPS) 901 00:37:01,589 --> 00:37:02,689 LIZZIE: I want something viral. 902 00:37:02,690 --> 00:37:04,408 Something viral and edgy. 903 00:37:04,409 --> 00:37:05,409 What's edgy? 904 00:37:06,580 --> 00:37:07,949 The licking. 905 00:37:07,950 --> 00:37:10,209 RYAN: Oh, like sexy licking? 906 00:37:10,210 --> 00:37:11,409 - Yeah? - It's different! 907 00:37:11,410 --> 00:37:12,243 - Yes, yes. - Yeah. 908 00:37:12,244 --> 00:37:14,339 Yes, edgy, safe for work. 909 00:37:14,340 --> 00:37:16,279 Uh, good for kids but not really. 910 00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:18,130 No, no, yeah, yeah, that's brilliant. 911 00:37:20,090 --> 00:37:21,046 I'm gonna take it off. You ready? 912 00:37:21,047 --> 00:37:23,546 I'm gonna leave it on, okay. 913 00:37:28,798 --> 00:37:31,465 (BOTH LAUGHING) 914 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:34,799 Oh my God, I've already got two likes 915 00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,402 on that Facebook video. 916 00:37:36,403 --> 00:37:37,390 (GASPS) 917 00:37:37,390 --> 00:37:38,380 Two, that's absolutely viral. 918 00:37:38,381 --> 00:37:40,099 Yeah, like 10 people catch measles or something, 919 00:37:40,100 --> 00:37:41,740 then, yeah, that's like a virus. 920 00:37:41,741 --> 00:37:43,199 You win. 921 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:44,639 Three comments. 922 00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,169 The first one says, "Lizzie has started a meme!" 923 00:37:48,170 --> 00:37:49,610 There is no higher compliment. 924 00:37:49,611 --> 00:37:50,540 I know. 925 00:37:50,541 --> 00:37:52,296 Um, second one says, "You should totally do it" 926 00:37:52,297 --> 00:37:53,297 "gonzo style." 927 00:37:54,220 --> 00:37:55,869 What's that, is he referring to the Muppet? 928 00:37:55,870 --> 00:37:57,559 Like throw some chickens at 'em or something, 929 00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,389 but I think it means more like attack, 930 00:37:59,390 --> 00:38:01,323 like in-your-face type thing? 931 00:38:03,772 --> 00:38:05,359 Oh okay, the little cartoon pizza guy, 932 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:06,559 it says he's around the corner. 933 00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,419 This is exactly like one of those pornos, actually. 934 00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:11,309 You know like where the guy shows up with the pizza. 935 00:38:11,310 --> 00:38:12,739 They're like, oh, I don't have enough money to pay, 936 00:38:12,740 --> 00:38:14,070 - and you (MUMBLING)... - Yeah. 937 00:38:14,071 --> 00:38:15,291 You haven't seen it, you're too young. 938 00:38:15,292 --> 00:38:17,239 I have seen it, I have seen it. 939 00:38:17,240 --> 00:38:18,240 It's vintage porn! 940 00:38:18,241 --> 00:38:20,899 You know what? No, I've got a better idea. 941 00:38:20,900 --> 00:38:21,733 He's here. 942 00:38:21,734 --> 00:38:23,049 He's gonna enter the door, and I'm gonna try and get, 943 00:38:23,050 --> 00:38:24,979 you know, all sexy like to get him to try and... 944 00:38:24,980 --> 00:38:26,302 Yeah, but we already said that. 945 00:38:26,303 --> 00:38:27,579 And you got to keep recording, okay? 946 00:38:27,580 --> 00:38:29,029 But he's gonna eat it, not me. 947 00:38:29,030 --> 00:38:30,849 We already did the plan, let's just go. 948 00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:32,007 No, why does everything have to be 949 00:38:32,008 --> 00:38:33,067 according to what you wanna do? 950 00:38:33,068 --> 00:38:35,409 Not everything has to be according to your plan. 951 00:38:35,410 --> 00:38:36,739 Okay? Just follow along. 952 00:38:36,740 --> 00:38:39,006 Just record, and I'll do everything, okay? 953 00:38:39,007 --> 00:38:39,908 - Okay. - Okay? 954 00:38:39,908 --> 00:38:40,847 - Okay. - Ready? 955 00:38:40,848 --> 00:38:42,347 All right, yeah. 956 00:38:44,817 --> 00:38:45,777 Hey. 957 00:38:45,778 --> 00:38:47,086 Hey, Hell Pizza, how you goin'? 958 00:38:47,087 --> 00:38:48,939 Got a large cheese, large 'lux, 959 00:38:48,940 --> 00:38:50,333 and a salad for you guys. 960 00:38:52,770 --> 00:38:54,189 What's with the camera? 961 00:38:54,190 --> 00:38:56,934 Uh, we're doing a documentary on pizza delivery. 962 00:38:56,935 --> 00:38:58,179 (CHUCKLES) 963 00:38:58,180 --> 00:38:59,180 Blake? 964 00:39:00,724 --> 00:39:01,724 Do I know you? 965 00:39:04,790 --> 00:39:06,840 Blake's the guy I lost my virginity to. 966 00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:10,209 Yup, we got drunk at a party, 967 00:39:10,210 --> 00:39:12,319 and we just did it on the bathroom floor, 968 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,243 and you got up and took off. 969 00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:16,760 Uh... 970 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:17,593 No? 971 00:39:17,594 --> 00:39:19,099 You don't remember me, you don't recognize me? 972 00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:20,100 No. 973 00:39:21,116 --> 00:39:22,030 Dude? 974 00:39:22,031 --> 00:39:24,569 I sent you this naked picture of myself. 975 00:39:24,570 --> 00:39:25,789 Next thing I know, it gets emailed back to me 976 00:39:25,790 --> 00:39:27,399 by all my friends. 977 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,129 I heard that you were going around bragging to everybody 978 00:39:29,130 --> 00:39:31,169 how you banged this random slut. 979 00:39:31,170 --> 00:39:32,439 Well, I used to drink a lot of piss 980 00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:33,420 and do a lot of dumb shit, 981 00:39:33,421 --> 00:39:35,983 but can't apologize to everyone. 982 00:39:39,300 --> 00:39:40,419 Just, just, 983 00:39:40,420 --> 00:39:42,149 we're gonna pay for the pizza. 984 00:39:42,150 --> 00:39:43,150 How much is it? 985 00:39:43,985 --> 00:39:45,053 39.50. 986 00:40:00,140 --> 00:40:01,140 Hey. 987 00:40:06,110 --> 00:40:07,229 I'm really sorry back there. 988 00:40:07,230 --> 00:40:08,580 I shoulda stood up for you. 989 00:40:09,687 --> 00:40:11,786 I wanted to, you know, but... 990 00:40:11,787 --> 00:40:13,603 Okay, it was my fault. 991 00:40:14,606 --> 00:40:15,736 (CHUCKLES) It's not your fault. 992 00:40:15,737 --> 00:40:18,779 That guy's a douchebag, you know? 993 00:40:18,780 --> 00:40:21,529 And we're living in a world where people 994 00:40:21,530 --> 00:40:24,239 send random naked pictures to people, 995 00:40:24,240 --> 00:40:25,459 you know, that they barely know. 996 00:40:25,460 --> 00:40:28,399 I mean, it's, it's the age. 997 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:29,566 Yeah? 998 00:40:29,567 --> 00:40:32,482 Yeah, well, you've caught up pretty quickly, haven't you? 999 00:40:32,483 --> 00:40:33,889 I mean, what's the difference? 1000 00:40:33,890 --> 00:40:35,396 We're taking pictures now. 1001 00:40:35,397 --> 00:40:38,143 I don't know if I can trust you with these pictures. 1002 00:40:40,290 --> 00:40:41,290 Are you serious? 1003 00:40:42,770 --> 00:40:44,470 It's 'cause I fuckin' respect you. 1004 00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:47,240 I love you. 1005 00:40:49,565 --> 00:40:50,565 And you love me. 1006 00:40:51,540 --> 00:40:52,540 Right? 1007 00:40:54,660 --> 00:40:55,660 I love you. 1008 00:41:09,436 --> 00:41:11,379 (GASPS) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1009 00:41:11,380 --> 00:41:12,463 Oh, hey, shh. 1010 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:14,400 Jeez! 1011 00:41:15,456 --> 00:41:18,579 This is, it's just my great grandmother's ring. 1012 00:41:18,580 --> 00:41:22,384 I'm just supposed to use it on someone, 1013 00:41:22,385 --> 00:41:25,909 (SIGHS) I'm just supposed to be able to use it with, 1014 00:41:25,910 --> 00:41:29,740 I just want some kind of commitment, you know. 1015 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:32,299 Like any kind, really. 1016 00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:34,119 We can go Facebook official. 1017 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:35,570 I don't wanna feel trapped. 1018 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:39,610 Yeah. 1019 00:41:39,610 --> 00:41:40,443 Yeah, yeah. 1020 00:41:40,444 --> 00:41:42,450 Yeah, that's, that's fine. 1021 00:41:42,451 --> 00:41:43,549 (DRAWER SHUTS) 1022 00:41:43,550 --> 00:41:44,440 I get it. 1023 00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:45,360 Yeah, that's okay. 1024 00:41:45,361 --> 00:41:46,410 - That's good. - Ryan. 1025 00:41:47,290 --> 00:41:48,263 Ryan! 1026 00:41:48,264 --> 00:41:50,039 I didn't mean what I meant, okay? 1027 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:51,499 Whatever we've had, it's been great, 1028 00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:53,719 and I don't see why we have to start 1029 00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,299 labeling things now, right? 1030 00:41:55,300 --> 00:41:58,609 I mean, we're happy, aren't we? 1031 00:41:58,610 --> 00:41:59,928 I've had a great day. 1032 00:41:59,929 --> 00:42:02,519 (STAMMERS) Why can't it just be like this? 1033 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,483 What's, what is so wrong with that? 1034 00:42:08,140 --> 00:42:10,807 (KEYS CLICKING) 1035 00:42:16,940 --> 00:42:19,273 (DOG BARKS) 1036 00:42:20,479 --> 00:42:22,979 Are you even gonna look at me? 1037 00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:26,999 I think what we have right now is wonderful. 1038 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,199 Okay, I... (PHONE CHIMES) 1039 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:30,779 I think the last six months have been 1040 00:42:30,780 --> 00:42:32,083 just beyond amazing. 1041 00:42:32,930 --> 00:42:34,579 I don't know where I'm gonna be in the future, 1042 00:42:34,580 --> 00:42:36,439 I don't even know where I'm gonna be in three weeks. 1043 00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,669 Okay? (PHONE CHIMES) 1044 00:42:39,670 --> 00:42:41,307 I think what we have is fine. 1045 00:42:41,308 --> 00:42:43,891 (PHONE CHIMES) 1046 00:42:45,236 --> 00:42:47,819 (PHONE CHIMES) 1047 00:42:49,300 --> 00:42:51,883 (PHONE CHIMES) 1048 00:42:59,830 --> 00:43:00,880 It's over now anyway. 1049 00:43:02,929 --> 00:43:06,429 (PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES) 1050 00:43:08,916 --> 00:43:13,916 What? (PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES) 1051 00:43:26,410 --> 00:43:27,799 Would a guy trying to trap a girl 1052 00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,719 spend 80% of his life savings 1053 00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:31,920 putting her on a solo trip around the world? 1054 00:43:36,350 --> 00:43:37,350 Yes. 1055 00:43:38,810 --> 00:43:39,899 What? 1056 00:43:39,900 --> 00:43:40,900 Cancel it. 1057 00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:43,722 What? 1058 00:43:43,723 --> 00:43:44,849 No, no. 1059 00:43:44,850 --> 00:43:47,429 I'm not gonna cancel it. 1060 00:43:47,430 --> 00:43:50,080 This is like the ultimate control right here, okay? 1061 00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:52,519 I wanna go. 1062 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:53,899 I really, really wanna go, okay? 1063 00:43:53,900 --> 00:43:55,809 But I wanna do it my own way. 1064 00:43:55,810 --> 00:43:57,209 I wanna find my own way of getting there. 1065 00:43:57,210 --> 00:43:59,076 I don't need you to pay something for me. 1066 00:43:59,077 --> 00:44:00,929 I'll get money from my parents, 1067 00:44:00,930 --> 00:44:02,545 I'll put it on someone's credit card, 1068 00:44:02,546 --> 00:44:04,459 I'll do the crowd funding thing. 1069 00:44:04,460 --> 00:44:05,739 Fuck it, I'll do it if I have to, 1070 00:44:05,740 --> 00:44:06,989 but I'm gonna find my own way. 1071 00:44:06,990 --> 00:44:10,489 You already have a free ticket from me. 1072 00:44:10,490 --> 00:44:13,499 You have one from some that you care about. 1073 00:44:13,500 --> 00:44:15,299 If you wanna pay me back, you can pay me back. 1074 00:44:15,300 --> 00:44:16,133 If you don't wanna pay me back, 1075 00:44:16,134 --> 00:44:17,339 you don't have to pay me back. 1076 00:44:17,340 --> 00:44:20,969 I will cancel if you want me 1077 00:44:20,970 --> 00:44:25,949 to get rid of an opportunity for you to see the world. 1078 00:44:25,950 --> 00:44:27,329 Is that what you really want? 1079 00:44:27,330 --> 00:44:28,563 It is a click away. 1080 00:44:29,510 --> 00:44:31,273 How long have you got to cancel it? 1081 00:44:32,290 --> 00:44:34,089 Uh, officially, it's two weeks 1082 00:44:34,090 --> 00:44:36,559 before you're supposed to leave, like, to the dot. 1083 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:37,560 So that's 1084 00:44:39,810 --> 00:44:42,499 three hours and 22 minutes from now. 1085 00:44:42,500 --> 00:44:43,545 Okay. 1086 00:44:43,546 --> 00:44:46,979 Thank you so much for putting me in this position, okay? 1087 00:44:46,980 --> 00:44:48,239 Has this whole day been a lie? 1088 00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:50,409 Has this been about you using this day 1089 00:44:50,410 --> 00:44:53,319 to try and get me to your level 1090 00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:54,649 so that I'm in your life forever 1091 00:44:54,650 --> 00:44:56,829 with the whole open the whole bakery thing, and... 1092 00:44:56,830 --> 00:44:58,079 You're a baker! 1093 00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:59,536 You like baking! 1094 00:44:59,537 --> 00:45:01,359 And the period track app, yeah? 1095 00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:02,926 You're saying the whole no condom thing 1096 00:45:02,927 --> 00:45:03,837 and trying to get me pregnant? 1097 00:45:03,838 --> 00:45:05,009 You're trying to control my body, too? 1098 00:45:05,010 --> 00:45:06,896 I can't feel anything with a condom, it's, 1099 00:45:06,897 --> 00:45:09,239 and I haven't felt anything in, ooh... 1100 00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:12,529 No, you're being controlling, manipulative, and selfish. 1101 00:45:12,530 --> 00:45:14,979 And frankly, I don't what I'm gonna say to you... 1102 00:45:14,980 --> 00:45:15,847 - I'm selfish, I'm selfish? - Yeah, you're selfish. 1103 00:45:15,848 --> 00:45:17,199 I'm fucking selfish? 1104 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:20,689 I am the fucking Giving Tree. 1105 00:45:20,690 --> 00:45:22,158 Of course you don't know what that is. 1106 00:45:22,159 --> 00:45:24,169 Maybe you're like too young or too Kiwi, okay? 1107 00:45:24,170 --> 00:45:25,379 But a fucking Giving Tree, 1108 00:45:25,380 --> 00:45:27,189 over here, this is a little branch over here, 1109 00:45:27,190 --> 00:45:28,499 when you date too many douchebags, 1110 00:45:28,500 --> 00:45:30,278 I shade you from it, right? 1111 00:45:30,279 --> 00:45:32,329 And underneath it, you want your freedom. 1112 00:45:32,330 --> 00:45:34,939 I go ahead and give you another branch. 1113 00:45:34,940 --> 00:45:37,529 And then you wanna leave me forever 1114 00:45:37,530 --> 00:45:39,223 in two fucking weeks? 1115 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:41,879 You're just like a woodpecker. 1116 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:45,049 Just peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, 1117 00:45:45,050 --> 00:45:46,967 peck, peck, peck, peck! 1118 00:45:47,890 --> 00:45:49,719 You think I'm trying to control you? 1119 00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:52,963 I would give you, and I do give you, everything. 1120 00:45:56,871 --> 00:45:59,621 (DOORBELL RINGS) 1121 00:46:02,783 --> 00:46:06,009 (LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC) 1122 00:46:06,010 --> 00:46:07,444 Hey, beautiful. 1123 00:46:07,445 --> 00:46:08,599 (LAUGHING) 1124 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,289 Congratulations! 1125 00:46:10,290 --> 00:46:11,499 Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much, 1126 00:46:11,500 --> 00:46:13,289 but honestly, that was my bad anyway. 1127 00:46:13,290 --> 00:46:14,449 LIZZIE: Angie, you came here for, 1128 00:46:14,450 --> 00:46:16,473 but that was like three minutes ago. 1129 00:46:17,580 --> 00:46:19,829 No, I just saw the trip post on my way here. 1130 00:46:19,830 --> 00:46:22,830 I came for fantasy day 'cause of the trip. 1131 00:46:22,831 --> 00:46:25,189 Maybe I shouldn't have sent that, we... 1132 00:46:25,190 --> 00:46:26,699 Once in a life time opportunity, 1133 00:46:26,700 --> 00:46:27,979 Lizzie Conley is living out 1134 00:46:27,980 --> 00:46:30,059 all her life's fantasies in one day! 1135 00:46:30,060 --> 00:46:32,372 Yeah, but maybe just the two of us. 1136 00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:34,010 Guess who she wants to help round out the list. 1137 00:46:34,011 --> 00:46:35,759 13 Green Lane, see you soon. 1138 00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,559 I wrote back, but you never replied, so, 1139 00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:39,960 what am I here to help with? 1140 00:46:44,082 --> 00:46:44,961 What? 1141 00:46:44,962 --> 00:46:46,829 LIZZIE: That one wasn't my idea, I swear. 1142 00:46:46,830 --> 00:46:47,663 Look, he's just a... 1143 00:46:47,664 --> 00:46:51,830 What, are we back at uni now? (CHUCKLES) 1144 00:46:51,831 --> 00:46:53,089 (ANGIE SIGHS) 1145 00:46:53,090 --> 00:46:54,469 Fucking guys. 1146 00:46:54,470 --> 00:46:56,320 I mean, why would he even think that? 1147 00:47:00,890 --> 00:47:01,890 Lizzie? 1148 00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,969 Okay, just a few times, okay? 1149 00:47:07,970 --> 00:47:12,970 Maybe we fantasize about other girls, 1150 00:47:13,270 --> 00:47:16,489 and we randomly come across somebody's profile... 1151 00:47:16,490 --> 00:47:17,543 Like my profile? 1152 00:47:20,010 --> 00:47:21,639 Yup. 1153 00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:22,640 Um, 1154 00:47:23,710 --> 00:47:25,089 Lizzie, 1155 00:47:25,090 --> 00:47:26,090 that's... 1156 00:47:27,168 --> 00:47:28,489 (CHUCKLES) 1157 00:47:28,490 --> 00:47:29,490 Awesome. 1158 00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:33,839 (LAUGHS) 1159 00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:35,733 I mean, why do you do that? 1160 00:47:36,780 --> 00:47:39,830 Um, Jesus, 'cause you're a goddess. 1161 00:47:39,831 --> 00:47:42,539 Like you do the Bali street clean ups with kids, 1162 00:47:42,540 --> 00:47:45,239 and you do triathlons and seminars and... 1163 00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:46,509 Oh, that reminds me, 1164 00:47:46,510 --> 00:47:48,069 I'm totally behind on my squirting workshop. 1165 00:47:48,070 --> 00:47:49,620 That's what I mean, you just, 1166 00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,241 squirting's real? 1167 00:47:52,242 --> 00:47:53,242 Ah. 1168 00:47:54,530 --> 00:47:55,530 Mm-hmm. 1169 00:47:56,900 --> 00:47:58,389 I mean, you know, 1170 00:47:58,390 --> 00:48:01,513 why do you do that with girls in general? 1171 00:48:03,330 --> 00:48:04,379 I don't know. 1172 00:48:04,380 --> 00:48:07,189 Keeps it light, and I think he might be open 1173 00:48:07,190 --> 00:48:09,279 to other possibilities, so... 1174 00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,559 But you're keeping your options open, too, right? 1175 00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:12,660 I mean, with the trip? 1176 00:48:16,722 --> 00:48:17,722 No. 1177 00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:21,009 My mom keeps sending me these articles 1178 00:48:21,010 --> 00:48:22,539 on my chronic indecisiveness 1179 00:48:22,540 --> 00:48:23,989 and that it's a sign of depression. 1180 00:48:23,990 --> 00:48:26,099 Well, then that's an epidemic. 1181 00:48:26,100 --> 00:48:27,929 I was watching this Ted Talk the other day, 1182 00:48:27,930 --> 00:48:30,689 and it was talking about tech and mobile 1183 00:48:30,690 --> 00:48:32,589 and all these options that are open to us, 1184 00:48:32,590 --> 00:48:36,059 and with everything out there, we just freeze. 1185 00:48:36,060 --> 00:48:39,143 You know, it's like paradox of choice. 1186 00:48:40,210 --> 00:48:41,210 Hm. 1187 00:48:42,818 --> 00:48:43,651 (SIGHS) 1188 00:48:43,652 --> 00:48:44,919 Tell you what, 1189 00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:49,920 you can choose not to sexually explore me. 1190 00:48:50,478 --> 00:48:51,919 (CHUCKLES) Thanks. 1191 00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:54,193 You know, unless you want to. 1192 00:48:55,349 --> 00:48:56,229 What? 1193 00:48:56,229 --> 00:48:57,062 Angie! (LAUGHS) 1194 00:48:57,063 --> 00:49:01,089 You're the one who's always posting those YOLO memes. 1195 00:49:01,090 --> 00:49:03,369 Potentially, I could be interested 1196 00:49:03,370 --> 00:49:07,940 in a little bit of real life, you-only-live-once, 1197 00:49:09,370 --> 00:49:10,370 real YOLO. 1198 00:49:11,918 --> 00:49:14,389 (COY GUITAR MUSIC) 1199 00:49:14,390 --> 00:49:16,889 Finally having the chance to get it on with Lizzie, 1200 00:49:16,890 --> 00:49:19,519 I mean, you know, because girls... 1201 00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:20,353 We're so shy. 1202 00:49:20,354 --> 00:49:23,053 Yeah, we're not aggressive like men. 1203 00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:25,999 We think we know what we want, but... 1204 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,399 We just need a little guidance. 1205 00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:29,119 - A push. - Yeah. 1206 00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:31,889 Men, they have that objective brain, you know. 1207 00:49:31,890 --> 00:49:33,759 They can see the big picture. 1208 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,193 Well, I mean, I would never say that exactly. 1209 00:49:37,448 --> 00:49:38,281 Yep. 1210 00:49:38,281 --> 00:49:39,240 So when this opportunity came up 1211 00:49:39,241 --> 00:49:40,869 in the six years that we've known each other, 1212 00:49:40,870 --> 00:49:42,312 it was like... Yeah, it was like- 1213 00:49:42,313 --> 00:49:44,628 - RYAN: Like had that hesitation before. 1214 00:49:44,629 --> 00:49:45,462 BOTH: Right. 1215 00:49:45,463 --> 00:49:49,309 But then after a while, it's like, what's the big deal? 1216 00:49:49,310 --> 00:49:50,459 But do you remember the fantasy, 1217 00:49:50,460 --> 00:49:51,659 it wasn't about me and Angie, 1218 00:49:51,660 --> 00:49:54,263 it was about you and me doing something with Angie. 1219 00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:57,139 Yeah. 1220 00:49:57,140 --> 00:49:58,339 I just thought it would be a way 1221 00:49:58,340 --> 00:50:00,989 for you and I to connect a little bit more. 1222 00:50:00,990 --> 00:50:02,159 How? 1223 00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,179 I mean, great. 1224 00:50:04,180 --> 00:50:05,180 But, I mean, I don't... 1225 00:50:05,181 --> 00:50:08,609 Well, it's about new experiences for you and me, 1226 00:50:08,610 --> 00:50:10,159 and it's not just you teaching me. 1227 00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,243 No offense. 1228 00:50:12,677 --> 00:50:14,843 (SCOFFS) I don't think he wants to. 1229 00:50:15,790 --> 00:50:18,129 No, I'm up for learning new things. 1230 00:50:18,130 --> 00:50:19,225 Yeah? 1231 00:50:19,226 --> 00:50:20,226 Then come on in. 1232 00:50:21,666 --> 00:50:22,499 Yeah? 1233 00:50:22,499 --> 00:50:23,499 - Yeah. (CHUCKLES) - Mm. 1234 00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:25,393 Okay! 1235 00:50:25,394 --> 00:50:27,621 (LAUGHING) 1236 00:50:29,780 --> 00:50:30,780 All right. 1237 00:50:33,319 --> 00:50:35,319 (SIGHS) 1238 00:50:36,460 --> 00:50:37,293 Uh... 1239 00:50:37,293 --> 00:50:38,126 Got the lube? 1240 00:50:38,127 --> 00:50:39,412 You know me. 1241 00:50:39,413 --> 00:50:41,839 Uh, Lizzie actually never really needs that. 1242 00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:42,820 - So... - Oh. 1243 00:50:42,820 --> 00:50:43,820 You will. 1244 00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:47,409 Wait, what, what're we doing? 1245 00:50:47,410 --> 00:50:49,649 LIZZIE: Sexual exploration. 1246 00:50:49,650 --> 00:50:51,639 Oh, wait, this is Ryan we're talking about. 1247 00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:53,440 He's already had a prostate massage. 1248 00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:55,529 No. 1249 00:50:55,530 --> 00:50:57,763 Oh. Well, then take 'em off. 1250 00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:00,869 I don't need that. 1251 00:51:00,870 --> 00:51:02,403 How do you know unless you try? 1252 00:51:04,190 --> 00:51:06,369 We're really happy with what we have. 1253 00:51:06,370 --> 00:51:07,203 Right, honey? 1254 00:51:07,204 --> 00:51:09,929 It's A plus, like, 100%. 1255 00:51:09,930 --> 00:51:12,139 Yeah, but Angie was reading in this Vice article 1256 00:51:12,140 --> 00:51:14,449 that the prostate is the male G-spot 1257 00:51:14,450 --> 00:51:17,547 and the massage is the new blowjob, so... 1258 00:51:19,730 --> 00:51:20,779 'Kay. 1259 00:51:20,780 --> 00:51:22,083 The last time somebody, 1260 00:51:23,842 --> 00:51:27,523 it was my doctor checking for tumors. 1261 00:51:28,530 --> 00:51:30,969 And it didn't feel like a blowjob. 1262 00:51:30,970 --> 00:51:32,519 At all. 1263 00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:35,259 He probably just didn't read the same article, you know? 1264 00:51:35,260 --> 00:51:38,729 Look, I think I can remember all the details. 1265 00:51:38,730 --> 00:51:40,409 I'll just run Lizzie through it, 1266 00:51:40,410 --> 00:51:43,229 and then you guys can explore each other together. 1267 00:51:43,230 --> 00:51:44,230 Right? 1268 00:51:47,401 --> 00:51:49,060 RYAN: Is that what you want? 1269 00:51:49,061 --> 00:51:50,061 Yeah. 1270 00:51:58,570 --> 00:52:01,008 (LAUGHING) 1271 00:52:01,009 --> 00:52:01,842 No. 1272 00:52:01,842 --> 00:52:02,831 Oh, no. 1273 00:52:02,832 --> 00:52:05,081 (LAUGHING) Oh, no, it's so mean! 1274 00:52:05,082 --> 00:52:06,512 That's what you get for trying to put me on 1275 00:52:06,513 --> 00:52:08,839 into fucking my friend, asshole! 1276 00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:12,193 I'm sorry, I was honestly just trying to, like, 1277 00:52:13,230 --> 00:52:15,089 be an idiot, I guess, but... Mmhmm. 1278 00:52:15,090 --> 00:52:16,129 RYAN: Oh, man. 1279 00:52:16,130 --> 00:52:17,489 I woulda done it, too. 1280 00:52:17,490 --> 00:52:18,649 I swear, I really woulda done it. 1281 00:52:18,650 --> 00:52:21,699 That was abundantly clear. (ANGIE LAUGHS) 1282 00:52:21,700 --> 00:52:22,979 Well, I'll send Lizzie the article, 1283 00:52:22,980 --> 00:52:24,589 and she can teach people 1284 00:52:24,590 --> 00:52:26,319 all around the world on her trip, you know? 1285 00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:27,638 Cultural exchange. 1286 00:52:27,639 --> 00:52:29,589 (RYAN CHUCKLES) 1287 00:52:29,590 --> 00:52:31,493 You're still going on your trip, right? 1288 00:52:33,060 --> 00:52:36,180 You're not stickin' around for this guy. 1289 00:52:36,181 --> 00:52:37,869 (RYAN CHUCKLES) 1290 00:52:37,870 --> 00:52:40,020 I mean, that list, it's not even about you. 1291 00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:44,649 Hey, I, I love her. 1292 00:52:44,650 --> 00:52:45,650 Yeah, so? 1293 00:52:48,660 --> 00:52:53,284 (CONTEMPLATIVE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC) 1294 00:52:53,285 --> 00:52:55,472 (DOOR SLAMS) 1295 00:52:55,473 --> 00:52:57,189 RYAN: Because if you love someone, 1296 00:52:57,190 --> 00:52:59,859 you want their life to be as full as yours was, right? 1297 00:52:59,860 --> 00:53:01,599 I mean, it's only reasonable. 1298 00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,476 Why are you trying to reason everything? 1299 00:53:03,477 --> 00:53:05,159 Everything has to be reason, facts, 1300 00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:07,256 logic, statistics, that sort of thing, 1301 00:53:07,257 --> 00:53:09,619 and love shouldn't ever have to be about that. 1302 00:53:09,620 --> 00:53:10,719 No, I'm not trying to do that. 1303 00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:12,619 No, I mean, I don't know. 1304 00:53:12,620 --> 00:53:14,529 I mean, there's a lot of science to it, though, right? 1305 00:53:14,530 --> 00:53:16,049 Aren't you supposed to figure out relationships? 1306 00:53:16,050 --> 00:53:18,227 Isn't that what relationships are about? 1307 00:53:19,100 --> 00:53:21,529 Okay, well, let's say, um, 1308 00:53:21,530 --> 00:53:22,679 let's say you have a couple. 1309 00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:25,199 They've been together their whole lives. 1310 00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,969 Both of them have been completely unfaithful to each other, 1311 00:53:27,970 --> 00:53:30,924 and the other person is not aware of this. 1312 00:53:30,925 --> 00:53:31,758 Okay. 1313 00:53:31,759 --> 00:53:33,309 They live our their whole lives together. 1314 00:53:33,310 --> 00:53:36,779 Kids, grandkids, and die happily. 1315 00:53:36,780 --> 00:53:38,779 I mean, is that reasonable? 1316 00:53:38,780 --> 00:53:39,640 No, no, no. 1317 00:53:39,641 --> 00:53:42,779 'Cause if you start a relationship on a basis of lies, 1318 00:53:42,780 --> 00:53:45,373 then it's not a real relationship. 1319 00:53:47,330 --> 00:53:48,585 Okay. 1320 00:53:48,586 --> 00:53:49,586 Okay. 1321 00:53:51,786 --> 00:53:54,703 (ERASER SHUFFLING) 1322 00:53:57,390 --> 00:53:58,307 So we have... 1323 00:53:58,308 --> 00:54:01,549 (MARKER TAPPING) 1324 00:54:01,550 --> 00:54:02,613 Happy couple. 1325 00:54:02,614 --> 00:54:05,364 (MARKER TAPPING) 1326 00:54:07,430 --> 00:54:12,009 Uh, happiness plus millions of lies, 1327 00:54:12,010 --> 00:54:13,633 divided by no breakup, 1328 00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:16,123 equals, 1329 00:54:19,150 --> 00:54:20,489 but it's not... 1330 00:54:20,490 --> 00:54:21,609 So these guys don't break up 1331 00:54:21,610 --> 00:54:24,283 because of the millions of lies. 1332 00:54:26,066 --> 00:54:28,816 (MARKER TAPPING) 1333 00:54:41,525 --> 00:54:44,013 You realize what just happened, right? 1334 00:54:44,014 --> 00:54:45,283 You just kicked my ass. 1335 00:54:46,300 --> 00:54:47,600 For the second time today. 1336 00:54:48,490 --> 00:54:51,889 I mean, I guess my degree was useful. 1337 00:54:51,890 --> 00:54:52,993 Yeah, check it off. 1338 00:54:53,885 --> 00:54:54,885 Okay. 1339 00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:57,440 Oh, look. 1340 00:55:03,741 --> 00:55:07,009 (MARKER TOP CLICKS) 1341 00:55:07,010 --> 00:55:07,843 Is this what you wanted? 1342 00:55:07,844 --> 00:55:10,629 For me to win this argument or this debate? 1343 00:55:10,630 --> 00:55:12,349 It's cool when you win arguments. 1344 00:55:12,350 --> 00:55:15,109 But, no, that's not, I'm not living to win, 1345 00:55:15,110 --> 00:55:16,199 or to have you win or anything. 1346 00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:18,562 I want something good, you know? 1347 00:55:18,563 --> 00:55:20,389 I just don't want to fight, that's all. 1348 00:55:20,390 --> 00:55:22,079 I mean, I come from, you know, my parents, 1349 00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:23,209 they were high school sweethearts, 1350 00:55:23,210 --> 00:55:24,309 and now they hate each other 1351 00:55:24,310 --> 00:55:26,009 because they just keep fighting and fighting and fighting, 1352 00:55:26,010 --> 00:55:28,129 and my dad keeps on wining, and I hate watching that. 1353 00:55:28,130 --> 00:55:29,199 I don't wanna win. 1354 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,033 Don't wanna win. 1355 00:55:30,034 --> 00:55:31,169 Yeah. 1356 00:55:31,170 --> 00:55:32,003 Mm, ha ha. 1357 00:55:32,004 --> 00:55:33,563 So what do you want to do? 1358 00:55:35,933 --> 00:55:38,279 How much time do we have? 1359 00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:40,043 Till the, yeah, um, 1360 00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:41,880 let's see. 1361 00:55:43,514 --> 00:55:44,899 (SIGHS) 1362 00:55:44,900 --> 00:55:46,463 An hour and 38 minutes. 1363 00:55:47,543 --> 00:55:48,543 Okay. 1364 00:55:49,670 --> 00:55:51,749 Well, if you want to be real scientific 1365 00:55:51,750 --> 00:55:53,819 about this whole thing, 1366 00:55:53,820 --> 00:55:56,139 I read an article about how if you ask each other 1367 00:55:56,140 --> 00:55:57,169 36 questions, 1368 00:55:57,170 --> 00:55:58,479 and then by the end of it, you're apparently... 1369 00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:00,979 Oh, you're supposed to be falling in love at the end. 1370 00:56:00,980 --> 00:56:02,761 And you're supposed to, 1371 00:56:02,762 --> 00:56:04,019 you're supposed to stare in each other's eyes 1372 00:56:04,020 --> 00:56:05,451 for a few minutes. 1373 00:56:05,452 --> 00:56:06,491 We can do that. 1374 00:56:06,492 --> 00:56:07,325 (RYAN STAMMERS) 1375 00:56:07,326 --> 00:56:08,639 I'm starving, though. 1376 00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,659 Okay, um, we have pizza from Blake. 1377 00:56:11,660 --> 00:56:12,650 Mm. (RYAN CHUCKLES) 1378 00:56:12,651 --> 00:56:13,779 Can we bake some cookies? 1379 00:56:13,780 --> 00:56:15,079 Yes, totally, bake cookies? 1380 00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:16,651 Yeah. 1381 00:56:16,652 --> 00:56:17,652 All right. 1382 00:56:19,420 --> 00:56:22,869 Uh, start off with this, 1383 00:56:22,870 --> 00:56:26,231 and we got butter... Ryan, pick up the phone. 1384 00:56:26,232 --> 00:56:27,561 - Okay. - Ryan... 1385 00:56:27,562 --> 00:56:28,929 - Is that your dad? - Pick up the phone. 1386 00:56:28,930 --> 00:56:30,459 Yeah, but he calls me all the time, so... 1387 00:56:30,460 --> 00:56:32,549 It's okay, you haven't spoke to him in like a month. 1388 00:56:32,550 --> 00:56:33,383 It's fine. 1389 00:56:33,383 --> 00:56:34,237 - You're sure? - Yeah. 1390 00:56:34,238 --> 00:56:37,209 Just like two minutes just to get rid of him, okay? 1391 00:56:37,210 --> 00:56:39,649 All right, there's some like baking stuff over there. 1392 00:56:39,650 --> 00:56:42,147 DAD: Ryan, pick up the phone. 1393 00:56:50,631 --> 00:56:52,089 (BAG POPS) 1394 00:56:52,090 --> 00:56:54,173 (COUGHS) 1395 00:56:55,751 --> 00:56:56,601 (SIGHS) 1396 00:56:56,602 --> 00:56:59,351 Just add egg and vegetable oil. 1397 00:57:01,012 --> 00:57:03,119 (PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES) 1398 00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:05,120 (SIGHS) 1399 00:57:12,260 --> 00:57:14,371 (SIGHS) 1400 00:57:14,372 --> 00:57:15,539 Vegetable oil. 1401 00:57:18,121 --> 00:57:20,089 You know what's goin' on with your nephews? 1402 00:57:20,090 --> 00:57:22,499 One of them has size 12 shoe, 1403 00:57:22,500 --> 00:57:26,169 and he's probably now about five foot seven. 1404 00:57:26,170 --> 00:57:28,669 You got a mother and father who are aging, 1405 00:57:28,670 --> 00:57:32,062 a family that you have become estranged from, 1406 00:57:32,063 --> 00:57:34,849 because you're not there for the weddings, 1407 00:57:34,850 --> 00:57:38,449 for the funerals, for the Thanksgiving, 1408 00:57:38,450 --> 00:57:39,759 the other holidays. 1409 00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,743 You're just, like, out of it. 1410 00:57:45,372 --> 00:57:47,017 Okay, add eggs and, 1411 00:57:49,950 --> 00:57:50,950 vegetable oil. 1412 00:57:52,604 --> 00:57:53,604 But... 1413 00:57:56,644 --> 00:57:57,524 (BANGING) 1414 00:57:57,524 --> 00:57:58,524 Fuck. 1415 00:58:03,644 --> 00:58:05,102 (SNIFFLES) 1416 00:58:05,103 --> 00:58:06,191 RYAN'S DAD: You're not making any money, 1417 00:58:06,192 --> 00:58:07,382 you're putting in all these hours. 1418 00:58:07,383 --> 00:58:09,679 Over here, you'd get a decent job, 1419 00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:10,752 and do whatever you want. (LIZZIE BANGING) 1420 00:58:10,753 --> 00:58:12,602 America is a land of opportunity. 1421 00:58:12,603 --> 00:58:14,119 - Hey, hey, hey. - I've got a pool. 1422 00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:14,953 RYAN'S DAD: I've got a spa. 1423 00:58:14,954 --> 00:58:16,779 I got him on mute, don't worry. 1424 00:58:16,780 --> 00:58:17,799 What are you using this stuff for? 1425 00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:19,359 This is Jono's shit. 1426 00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:20,509 RYAN'S DAD: I have a barbecue. 1427 00:58:20,510 --> 00:58:22,739 Baking stuff is over here, okay? 1428 00:58:22,740 --> 00:58:23,573 I'll get it for you. 1429 00:58:23,574 --> 00:58:25,139 In our backyard. 1430 00:58:25,140 --> 00:58:26,849 Oh, yeah, I got a new Porsche. 1431 00:58:26,850 --> 00:58:28,989 It not only has tushy warmers, 1432 00:58:28,990 --> 00:58:31,169 it has tushy coolers. 1433 00:58:31,170 --> 00:58:34,799 This one on a hot day, you put on the tushy cooler, 1434 00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:37,019 and it circulates cold air 1435 00:58:37,020 --> 00:58:40,109 so you don't get that clammy feeling on your seat. 1436 00:58:40,110 --> 00:58:41,429 It looks like my butt's gonna be clammy 1437 00:58:41,430 --> 00:58:42,430 for a while, Dad. 1438 00:58:43,601 --> 00:58:45,699 RYAN'S DAD: Do you have a car over there? 1439 00:58:45,700 --> 00:58:47,259 No, I take the bus, Dad. 1440 00:58:47,260 --> 00:58:49,079 But a lot of people take the bus, 1441 00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:52,249 but what I mean is, like, I'm establishing myself here. 1442 00:58:52,250 --> 00:58:54,849 Like, I'm making something of myself, 1443 00:58:54,850 --> 00:58:57,834 and I'm spending a lot of time with Lizzie, so... 1444 00:58:57,835 --> 00:59:00,083 RYAN'S DAD: I don't know anything about her. 1445 00:59:00,084 --> 00:59:04,239 Dad, I tell you about her all the time, you know? 1446 00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:05,729 She's awesome. 1447 00:59:05,730 --> 00:59:08,579 And I support her, you know? 1448 00:59:08,580 --> 00:59:09,915 100%. 1449 00:59:09,916 --> 00:59:11,329 RYAN'S DAD: What do you mean you support her? 1450 00:59:11,330 --> 00:59:12,819 You mean you're being supportive of her, 1451 00:59:12,820 --> 00:59:14,579 you're not supporting her, God forbid. 1452 00:59:14,580 --> 00:59:16,963 No, Dad, I would never do that, okay? 1453 00:59:18,033 --> 00:59:19,766 I mean, I would of course do that 1454 00:59:19,767 --> 00:59:21,519 if I'm in a more financially... 1455 00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:23,153 RYAN'S DAD: What'd she go to school for? 1456 00:59:24,904 --> 00:59:26,209 Philosophy. 1457 00:59:26,210 --> 00:59:27,180 Philosophy? 1458 00:59:27,181 --> 00:59:28,452 That's for people who can't make up their mind 1459 00:59:28,453 --> 00:59:29,899 what they wanna do. 1460 00:59:29,900 --> 00:59:31,529 Why didn't she major like in business 1461 00:59:31,530 --> 00:59:33,629 so she can make a living to support you 1462 00:59:33,630 --> 00:59:36,289 because I'm not sure you'll be able to support yourself. 1463 00:59:36,290 --> 00:59:37,462 You think she's doin', like, 1464 00:59:37,463 --> 00:59:39,233 what the Russian brides do? 1465 00:59:42,215 --> 00:59:43,619 RYAN: Dad, what're you talkin' about? 1466 00:59:43,620 --> 00:59:45,209 RYAN'S DAD: They put ads in the paper, 1467 00:59:45,210 --> 00:59:46,989 they put ads on the internet, 1468 00:59:46,990 --> 00:59:49,769 and they come over as a Russian bride, 1469 00:59:49,770 --> 00:59:50,999 and they're just the sweetest things in the world 1470 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,939 and they do everything for you 1471 00:59:52,940 --> 00:59:54,816 'cause they want the Green Card. 1472 00:59:54,817 --> 00:59:56,789 I think she's got higher aspirations than that, Dad. 1473 00:59:56,790 --> 00:59:59,219 Yeah, she's a pretty mean baker. 1474 00:59:59,220 --> 01:00:00,489 RYAN'S DAD: If she wants to bake, she can bake 1475 01:00:00,490 --> 01:00:01,740 cookies for her children. 1476 01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:05,120 Uh, 1477 01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:06,879 maybe. 1478 01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:10,049 What do you have in common with the girls in New Zealand? 1479 01:00:10,050 --> 01:00:10,883 Nothing. 1480 01:00:10,884 --> 01:00:13,309 Maybe there's a Lizzie over here. 1481 01:00:13,310 --> 01:00:15,099 A good old American Lizzie. 1482 01:00:15,100 --> 01:00:16,100 Dad, come on. 1483 01:00:17,150 --> 01:00:20,433 I don't think we're gonna find another Lizzie anywhere. 1484 01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:23,420 What about that Jessica girl, 1485 01:00:23,421 --> 01:00:25,643 the one you were with when you were here last time? 1486 01:00:26,750 --> 01:00:27,583 Dad. 1487 01:00:27,584 --> 01:00:28,999 RYAN'S DAD: We went to buy new furniture for a house. 1488 01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,479 - Dad. - Lo and behold... 1489 01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:31,919 Dad, Dad, Dad, I got to go, okay? 1490 01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:33,999 But I wanna let you know that it's time for you 1491 01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,509 to start showing some respect for me, okay? 1492 01:00:36,510 --> 01:00:40,219 I'm really establishing myself out here in the tech world. 1493 01:00:40,220 --> 01:00:41,053 Okay? 1494 01:00:41,054 --> 01:00:42,429 RYAN'S DAD: You're not even on Instagram. 1495 01:00:42,430 --> 01:00:44,230 Everybody's on Instagram except you. 1496 01:00:46,361 --> 01:00:49,028 (BIRD CHIRPING) 1497 01:01:13,473 --> 01:01:16,640 (BAG CONTENTS RATTLE) 1498 01:01:24,871 --> 01:01:29,288 (WARM, CONTEMPLATIVE ACOUSTIC MUSIC) 1499 01:01:37,321 --> 01:01:40,459 ♪ Sunset in the bedroom ♪ 1500 01:01:40,460 --> 01:01:43,549 ♪ My camera in my hand ♪ 1501 01:01:43,550 --> 01:01:48,550 ♪ And she's strikin' poses again ♪ 1502 01:01:49,881 --> 01:01:52,908 ♪ I can't seem to focus ♪ 1503 01:01:52,909 --> 01:01:56,006 ♪ And she keeps lookin' away ♪ 1504 01:01:56,007 --> 01:02:01,007 ♪ I'm not sure how much more we can take ♪ 1505 01:02:02,260 --> 01:02:05,927 ♪ We're almost out of light ♪ 1506 01:02:08,681 --> 01:02:13,299 ♪ All alone, I fight ♪ (CHUCKLING) 1507 01:02:13,300 --> 01:02:15,030 (GASPING) 1508 01:02:15,031 --> 01:02:18,614 Ooh! ♪ All alone, I fight ♪ 1509 01:02:21,420 --> 01:02:22,289 LIZZIE: Mm. 1510 01:02:22,290 --> 01:02:27,289 ♪ For it used to come easy ♪ (RYAN MUMBLES AND CHUCKLES) 1511 01:02:27,930 --> 01:02:29,509 Uh, first one. 1512 01:02:29,510 --> 01:02:30,529 Pfft, easy. 1513 01:02:30,530 --> 01:02:33,129 If you could have any super power, what would it be? 1514 01:02:33,130 --> 01:02:34,830 Obviously invisibility. Flying. 1515 01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:36,753 Yes. 1516 01:02:36,754 --> 01:02:37,859 Invisible flying. 1517 01:02:37,860 --> 01:02:39,430 Like Wonder Woman's plane, right? 1518 01:02:39,431 --> 01:02:40,881 (LIZZIE GIGGLES) Okay, cool. 1519 01:02:41,820 --> 01:02:44,563 Name three things you both appear to have in common. 1520 01:02:46,340 --> 01:02:47,869 Uh, 1521 01:02:47,870 --> 01:02:49,547 gorgeous blue eyes. 1522 01:02:49,548 --> 01:02:51,379 (RYAN CHUCKLING) 1523 01:02:51,380 --> 01:02:52,929 You're not blue. (CHUCKLES) 1524 01:02:52,930 --> 01:02:53,930 Pale. 1525 01:02:55,499 --> 01:02:56,539 (CHUCKLES) 1526 01:02:56,540 --> 01:02:57,753 Have a fuck load of fun. 1527 01:02:59,668 --> 01:03:01,668 (SIGHS) 1528 01:03:05,049 --> 01:03:08,399 I'm sure the third will come with time. 1529 01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:10,423 Uh, great hair. 1530 01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:12,779 Wow, thanks. 1531 01:03:12,780 --> 01:03:15,939 It's a little bit higher each year, but okay. 1532 01:03:15,940 --> 01:03:17,799 We'll have less and less in common over time. 1533 01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:19,919 Unless you thin out when you're older. 1534 01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:21,509 We're both very flexible. 1535 01:03:21,510 --> 01:03:23,379 - Flexible. - Mm-hmm. 1536 01:03:23,380 --> 01:03:24,380 Okay. 1537 01:03:25,340 --> 01:03:26,367 And... 1538 01:03:27,825 --> 01:03:29,969 (SIGHS) 1539 01:03:29,970 --> 01:03:31,803 Both unsure about the future. 1540 01:03:36,430 --> 01:03:39,080 Uh, what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? 1541 01:03:40,326 --> 01:03:42,326 (SIGHS) 1542 01:03:46,745 --> 01:03:48,089 Do you wanna have kids? 1543 01:03:48,090 --> 01:03:49,849 Is that on, 1544 01:03:49,850 --> 01:03:51,649 uh, separate, okay. 1545 01:03:51,650 --> 01:03:52,693 Uh, yes. 1546 01:03:57,670 --> 01:03:59,589 Do you wanna have kids? 1547 01:03:59,590 --> 01:04:01,289 One of my greatest fears when I was growing up 1548 01:04:01,290 --> 01:04:04,239 was that, well, when I was 18 specifically, 1549 01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:06,429 I remember that I was afraid 1550 01:04:06,430 --> 01:04:07,549 that by the time I reached 30, 1551 01:04:07,550 --> 01:04:09,809 I would be single and childless. 1552 01:04:09,810 --> 01:04:10,800 I know, I know, it's strange, 1553 01:04:10,801 --> 01:04:12,299 but I still think about it now. 1554 01:04:12,300 --> 01:04:14,171 I really, really want to travel, 1555 01:04:14,172 --> 01:04:15,969 but could I do that with a kid? 1556 01:04:15,970 --> 01:04:16,803 I don't know. 1557 01:04:16,804 --> 01:04:19,639 But at the same time, if I travel, 1558 01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:21,239 and I come back back, and when I meet someone, 1559 01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:22,399 will it be too late? 1560 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:25,629 Will I have, I dunno, dried up by then? (CHUCKLES) 1561 01:04:25,630 --> 01:04:26,463 I dunno. 1562 01:04:26,464 --> 01:04:29,920 I mean, I just feel like it's my species responsibility 1563 01:04:31,130 --> 01:04:33,139 to procreate in some way, right? 1564 01:04:33,140 --> 01:04:33,973 I mean, isn't that what it's about? 1565 01:04:33,974 --> 01:04:38,973 It's like eating, defecating, and populating, right? 1566 01:04:39,050 --> 01:04:41,949 Well, that's why the globe is so overpopulated, right? 1567 01:04:41,950 --> 01:04:43,356 I read an article that if you had your SUV 1568 01:04:43,357 --> 01:04:46,679 parked in a driveway and running 24 hours a day, 1569 01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:48,839 that that's still gonna impact the environment 1570 01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:51,490 a lot less than if you were to raise a western child. 1571 01:04:57,400 --> 01:04:59,199 That's the first I've heard that you've read up 1572 01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:01,643 on any of that eco stuff. 1573 01:05:08,170 --> 01:05:10,269 If you knew you were going to die today, 1574 01:05:10,270 --> 01:05:12,573 what would you most regret not telling someone? 1575 01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:18,277 Can we skip this one? 1576 01:05:18,278 --> 01:05:19,749 It should be really easy. 1577 01:05:19,750 --> 01:05:20,583 We don't have enough time. 1578 01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:21,416 Just say it. 1579 01:05:21,416 --> 01:05:22,390 No, we don't have enough time. 1580 01:05:22,391 --> 01:05:23,739 We have enough time! 1581 01:05:23,740 --> 01:05:24,849 I run the, just say it! 1582 01:05:24,850 --> 01:05:26,173 How hard is it to say? 1583 01:05:27,540 --> 01:05:29,440 You have enough time to say one thing. 1584 01:05:30,550 --> 01:05:31,540 You can do it. 1585 01:05:31,541 --> 01:05:33,859 Come on, just say what you wanna say. 1586 01:05:33,860 --> 01:05:35,949 How hard is it just to say 1587 01:05:35,950 --> 01:05:37,439 what you wanna say to somebody? 1588 01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:39,940 Just say it, say the one thing that you wanna say. 1589 01:05:41,620 --> 01:05:45,877 Okay? 1590 01:05:45,878 --> 01:05:46,878 Okay. 1591 01:05:48,820 --> 01:05:50,183 What is Zed Picket Fence? 1592 01:06:01,649 --> 01:06:03,167 (LAPTOP CLICKING) 1593 01:06:03,168 --> 01:06:04,859 You've been going through my laptop? 1594 01:06:04,860 --> 01:06:06,349 When you came back from the US last month, 1595 01:06:06,350 --> 01:06:08,039 I asked to borrow your computer, 1596 01:06:08,040 --> 01:06:09,040 while you, Mr. Eco-friendly, 1597 01:06:09,041 --> 01:06:11,759 were taking a 40-fucking-minute shower, by the way, 1598 01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:14,399 and this was just an open window on your computer. 1599 01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:16,509 And I didn't think anything of it at the time, 1600 01:06:16,510 --> 01:06:19,423 but do you mind telling me what these pictures are? 1601 01:06:23,830 --> 01:06:24,830 It's pictures. 1602 01:06:26,618 --> 01:06:28,701 And what about Jessica? 1603 01:06:30,840 --> 01:06:32,809 You brought her up like three times 1604 01:06:32,810 --> 01:06:34,566 since you got back from the US. 1605 01:06:34,567 --> 01:06:37,646 And I may have Facebook stalked her from your profile, 1606 01:06:37,647 --> 01:06:40,179 and I saw an album on there 1607 01:06:40,180 --> 01:06:41,719 that matched the exact same photos 1608 01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:43,170 that you have on this folder. 1609 01:06:47,470 --> 01:06:48,470 Okay, sit down. 1610 01:06:49,730 --> 01:06:50,730 Sit down. 1611 01:07:01,240 --> 01:07:02,240 Ryan, 1612 01:07:03,550 --> 01:07:05,719 if you want to be in a genuine relationship with me, 1613 01:07:05,720 --> 01:07:07,453 you have to start being genuine. 1614 01:07:13,882 --> 01:07:14,882 Okay. 1615 01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:16,600 Okay. 1616 01:07:17,470 --> 01:07:18,593 Jessica, she's, 1617 01:07:19,780 --> 01:07:21,983 I went out with her in my senior year, 1618 01:07:23,190 --> 01:07:24,313 and things were nice. 1619 01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:27,219 And my dad told me to break up with her 1620 01:07:27,220 --> 01:07:28,969 because, you know, 1621 01:07:28,970 --> 01:07:30,389 there'd be tons of other girls in college, 1622 01:07:30,390 --> 01:07:31,823 and don't settle too early. 1623 01:07:32,860 --> 01:07:35,439 Fast forward 18 years later, 1624 01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:37,083 she finds me on Facebook, 1625 01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:41,396 and I just became obsessed. 1626 01:07:41,397 --> 01:07:45,379 I mean, she was with a guy that she got pregnant with, 1627 01:07:45,380 --> 01:07:48,419 and they have these almost grown up kids. 1628 01:07:48,420 --> 01:07:49,629 Grown up. 1629 01:07:49,630 --> 01:07:51,329 I haven't even grown up, you know? 1630 01:07:51,330 --> 01:07:53,519 (CHUCKLING) 1631 01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:56,743 So her husband was out of town, 1632 01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:01,119 and the kids were away, you know, with the grandparents, 1633 01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:02,449 and so we went out to dinner 1634 01:08:02,450 --> 01:08:05,599 to the old diner that we always went to in high school. 1635 01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:08,059 And she was, it was really nice. 1636 01:08:08,060 --> 01:08:09,393 It was like old times. 1637 01:08:10,630 --> 01:08:12,609 And I drove her home. 1638 01:08:12,610 --> 01:08:14,559 And the house that she lives in now 1639 01:08:14,560 --> 01:08:16,893 is the same house that she grew up in. 1640 01:08:18,290 --> 01:08:19,539 And so I'd been there before, 1641 01:08:19,540 --> 01:08:21,406 and she was telling me about all these renovations, 1642 01:08:21,407 --> 01:08:22,639 and so we went inside, 1643 01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:25,439 and it was pretty dark. 1644 01:08:25,440 --> 01:08:27,159 We walked to the basement, 1645 01:08:27,160 --> 01:08:29,283 and we were sitting there, 1646 01:08:30,260 --> 01:08:31,260 and we didn't. 1647 01:08:33,210 --> 01:08:34,210 We didn't do... 1648 01:08:37,836 --> 01:08:40,253 But, I mean, we kissed, okay? 1649 01:08:42,420 --> 01:08:43,330 Okay? 1650 01:08:43,330 --> 01:08:44,280 All right. 1651 01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:45,280 That's good. 1652 01:08:46,547 --> 01:08:49,129 And so, um, 1653 01:08:49,130 --> 01:08:51,623 there was a thought in my mind, like, wow, 1654 01:08:52,860 --> 01:08:55,129 I'm gonna be with this girl for the rest of my life. 1655 01:08:55,130 --> 01:08:56,569 This is exactly what I wanted, 1656 01:08:56,570 --> 01:08:58,839 and I felt 100% at home 1657 01:08:58,840 --> 01:09:00,723 for the first time in like 18 years. 1658 01:09:01,750 --> 01:09:04,059 Did you ever think about me at all during that? 1659 01:09:04,060 --> 01:09:05,499 Oh my God, man, I thought about you 1660 01:09:05,500 --> 01:09:07,203 every fucking step of the way. 1661 01:09:08,310 --> 01:09:09,143 You know? 1662 01:09:09,144 --> 01:09:11,049 And that wasn't good, 'cause we're not supposed to, 1663 01:09:11,050 --> 01:09:12,116 I'm not supposed to think about you. 1664 01:09:12,117 --> 01:09:14,263 I'm supposed to be free and open, right? 1665 01:09:15,990 --> 01:09:18,489 And as I'm thinking about this, she took me upstairs, 1666 01:09:18,490 --> 01:09:20,779 and I don't know why, but she flipped on the light 1667 01:09:20,780 --> 01:09:23,179 when we were at the top of the stairs, 1668 01:09:23,180 --> 01:09:25,013 and everything changed. 1669 01:09:26,580 --> 01:09:29,099 The appliances were shiny, 1670 01:09:29,100 --> 01:09:33,749 and all of the edges were hard and white, 1671 01:09:33,750 --> 01:09:36,233 and it just wasn't, 1672 01:09:38,180 --> 01:09:39,533 it wasn't home anymore. 1673 01:09:40,450 --> 01:09:41,829 And she took me up the stairs 1674 01:09:41,830 --> 01:09:44,679 to what used to be her parents' master bedroom, 1675 01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:47,529 and it just wasn't right, and I just freaked. 1676 01:09:47,530 --> 01:09:49,109 I just said, "I got to get outta here." 1677 01:09:49,110 --> 01:09:51,184 So I said I had to use the bathroom. 1678 01:09:51,185 --> 01:09:53,769 (SNIFFS) You know, the oldest excuse in the book. 1679 01:09:53,770 --> 01:09:55,559 And she and I had sex in that bathroom 1680 01:09:55,560 --> 01:09:56,969 when we were in high school, 1681 01:09:56,970 --> 01:10:01,609 and now, at that same sink, 1682 01:10:01,610 --> 01:10:02,999 that one. 1683 01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:04,079 The rest are from Facebook, 1684 01:10:04,080 --> 01:10:06,639 but I shot that one 'cause I just, 1685 01:10:06,640 --> 01:10:07,640 it hit me. 1686 01:10:08,350 --> 01:10:09,793 Those two toothbrushes, man. 1687 01:10:11,028 --> 01:10:13,448 (CHUCKLES) I thought, this is not my home. 1688 01:10:13,449 --> 01:10:15,387 This is not my place, you know? 1689 01:10:16,399 --> 01:10:18,919 And it was, fuck, 1690 01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:20,849 it was weird, you know? 1691 01:10:20,850 --> 01:10:23,533 It was weird being there. 1692 01:10:25,090 --> 01:10:26,709 And I left, 1693 01:10:26,710 --> 01:10:29,166 and then I was like, oh, God, I forgot my phone. 1694 01:10:29,167 --> 01:10:31,889 And so I went back to get my phone, 1695 01:10:31,890 --> 01:10:32,810 and she was in the bathroom, 1696 01:10:32,811 --> 01:10:34,519 and she told me to hold on a minute, 1697 01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:36,783 and I swear to God, that was it. 1698 01:10:38,657 --> 01:10:40,889 (CLICKS) 1699 01:10:40,890 --> 01:10:42,383 LIZZIE: What about that one? 1700 01:10:43,879 --> 01:10:45,209 I don't know why she took that. 1701 01:10:45,210 --> 01:10:46,210 It's, 1702 01:10:47,220 --> 01:10:50,349 maybe it was some kinda thing 1703 01:10:50,350 --> 01:10:51,850 to tell me she's still got it? 1704 01:10:53,850 --> 01:10:54,973 Or to stay away. 1705 01:10:56,930 --> 01:10:57,910 Yeah, maybe that's it, 1706 01:10:57,911 --> 01:11:00,060 that's what that whole folder is, you know? 1707 01:11:01,560 --> 01:11:02,560 So I guess you're off the hook 1708 01:11:02,561 --> 01:11:04,110 and you didn't break any rules. 1709 01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:06,103 I was hiding. 1710 01:11:07,610 --> 01:11:09,660 I was hiding to protect our relationship. 1711 01:11:12,890 --> 01:11:14,889 'Cause I didn't wanna say this, 1712 01:11:14,890 --> 01:11:16,133 but I got to say it now. 1713 01:11:17,060 --> 01:11:18,693 It was never about Jessica. 1714 01:11:23,780 --> 01:11:26,093 I don't think the white picket fence is for me. 1715 01:11:29,680 --> 01:11:32,959 (STAMMERS) You don't want success? 1716 01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:35,259 No, no, no, it's not about success. 1717 01:11:35,260 --> 01:11:36,739 I would love to be a success, 1718 01:11:36,740 --> 01:11:39,693 but it's that, like, it's that lifestyle. 1719 01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:43,539 PTA, the poker nights, 1720 01:11:43,540 --> 01:11:45,859 the watering, and the herbiciding, 1721 01:11:45,860 --> 01:11:47,421 and the mowing of the grass. 1722 01:11:47,422 --> 01:11:52,049 The making sure you have new furniture every five years, 1723 01:11:52,050 --> 01:11:53,913 you now, like the white picket fence. 1724 01:11:56,080 --> 01:11:57,423 It's not for me. 1725 01:11:59,450 --> 01:12:01,450 And I was afraid that if I told you that 1726 01:12:02,480 --> 01:12:04,539 then you would wanna leave 1727 01:12:04,540 --> 01:12:05,591 and I couldn't risk that. 1728 01:12:05,592 --> 01:12:07,206 I couldn't risk that. 1729 01:12:07,207 --> 01:12:08,209 I don't wanna risk that. 1730 01:12:08,210 --> 01:12:10,703 It's not like we talked about longterm anyway. 1731 01:12:12,210 --> 01:12:14,019 Oh, come on, are you kidding me? 1732 01:12:14,020 --> 01:12:16,909 Longterm, that's all I ever think about is longterm. 1733 01:12:16,910 --> 01:12:19,222 You think that this whole eco thing, 1734 01:12:19,223 --> 01:12:21,459 echo hippy thing that I do, right, 1735 01:12:21,460 --> 01:12:23,209 aren't you a little bit concerned 1736 01:12:23,210 --> 01:12:25,296 as to why this started out of nowhere? 1737 01:12:25,297 --> 01:12:27,099 I think you're too busy thinking about the fucking planet 1738 01:12:27,100 --> 01:12:28,816 to think about what's right in front of you. 1739 01:12:28,817 --> 01:12:29,650 (RYAN CHUCKLES) 1740 01:12:29,651 --> 01:12:32,069 That's what I think. 1741 01:12:32,070 --> 01:12:36,459 Three months ago I decided that I loved you 1742 01:12:36,460 --> 01:12:38,060 more than anybody I've ever met. 1743 01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:42,409 And I see you looking at those wedding photos. 1744 01:12:42,410 --> 01:12:44,309 I see you looking at the dresses, 1745 01:12:44,310 --> 01:12:46,009 I see you looking at the pictures 1746 01:12:46,010 --> 01:12:48,069 of the carbon copy McMansions and everything, 1747 01:12:48,070 --> 01:12:50,023 and I wanted to give you what you want. 1748 01:12:51,210 --> 01:12:54,419 Three months ago I looked up the word stability, 1749 01:12:54,420 --> 01:12:57,919 not sustainability, stability, right? 1750 01:12:57,920 --> 01:12:59,049 And what did I find? 1751 01:12:59,050 --> 01:13:00,439 I found out that there's climate change, 1752 01:13:00,440 --> 01:13:01,799 I found out about peak oil, 1753 01:13:01,800 --> 01:13:03,279 I found out about soil depletion, 1754 01:13:03,280 --> 01:13:05,086 phosphorous depletion, water pollution. 1755 01:13:05,087 --> 01:13:07,929 There's only half of one percent of the water 1756 01:13:07,930 --> 01:13:09,069 left for the planet that we can even do, 1757 01:13:09,070 --> 01:13:11,009 we're adding 220,000 people to the planet every day. 1758 01:13:11,010 --> 01:13:12,369 You don't think I know these kinda statistics 1759 01:13:12,370 --> 01:13:13,869 that you're citing me out there? 1760 01:13:13,870 --> 01:13:15,029 I know this stuff. 1761 01:13:15,030 --> 01:13:16,569 This, this here comes from China, 1762 01:13:16,570 --> 01:13:18,449 this here comes from fucking Korea, 1763 01:13:18,450 --> 01:13:20,739 this here is built entirely on fossil fuels, 1764 01:13:20,740 --> 01:13:22,329 and what happens when we can't afford 1765 01:13:22,330 --> 01:13:24,829 to pull fossil fuels out of the ground anymore? 1766 01:13:24,830 --> 01:13:26,579 I don't know, are we all gonna be goin' around 1767 01:13:26,580 --> 01:13:28,159 and carrying spears, 1768 01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:31,059 or are we gonna be like Amish farmers? 1769 01:13:31,060 --> 01:13:32,199 The suburbs are fucked, 1770 01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:34,679 are they gonna just like pave those down and build farms, 1771 01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,209 and throw everybody into super cities? 1772 01:13:36,210 --> 01:13:38,893 Like, I don't know, I have no idea what's stable. 1773 01:13:40,810 --> 01:13:42,369 Now it might make more sense for you 1774 01:13:42,370 --> 01:13:45,129 to accept what's right in front of you. 1775 01:13:45,130 --> 01:13:46,180 LIZZIE: Excuse me? 1776 01:13:48,180 --> 01:13:49,180 Say it. 1777 01:13:50,060 --> 01:13:51,853 - What? - Say you love me! 1778 01:13:53,660 --> 01:13:55,273 Say you wanna be with me. 1779 01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:57,760 I'm here. 1780 01:13:59,226 --> 01:14:00,926 I'm the most stable thing you got. 1781 01:14:03,965 --> 01:14:05,015 You want the truth? 1782 01:14:06,420 --> 01:14:09,223 You wanna know why this is all like this? 1783 01:14:11,240 --> 01:14:14,369 It's because I met you on fucking Tinder! 1784 01:14:14,370 --> 01:14:17,899 Because all I ever fucking wanted from you was a fling. 1785 01:14:17,900 --> 01:14:20,299 Yeah, we have great sex and we have a fucking great time, 1786 01:14:20,300 --> 01:14:22,479 but you're just this old fucking man 1787 01:14:22,480 --> 01:14:26,359 who just can't maintain any of his fucking relationships! 1788 01:14:26,360 --> 01:14:28,499 Just this fucking startup wannabe, 1789 01:14:28,500 --> 01:14:30,209 you can't even control the damn tickets 1790 01:14:30,210 --> 01:14:31,833 on your own fucking company! 1791 01:14:33,900 --> 01:14:36,763 I knew it was gonna be easy not to fall in love with you. 1792 01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:41,669 Because your life was lacking direction, 1793 01:14:41,670 --> 01:14:43,420 you weren't doing anything with it. 1794 01:14:54,030 --> 01:14:55,033 Wow, that's, 1795 01:14:56,205 --> 01:14:57,205 yeah. 1796 01:15:02,800 --> 01:15:04,505 I'm sorry, I... 1797 01:15:04,506 --> 01:15:05,679 No, it's... 1798 01:15:05,680 --> 01:15:07,249 I don't know if any of that was true, 1799 01:15:07,250 --> 01:15:08,650 I just said that to hurt you 1800 01:15:10,410 --> 01:15:14,033 because I'm afraid of everything. 1801 01:15:14,034 --> 01:15:16,193 Of relationships of, 1802 01:15:17,560 --> 01:15:18,560 oh, Jesus. 1803 01:15:23,030 --> 01:15:25,153 I'm just not an interesting person. 1804 01:15:26,965 --> 01:15:29,959 (SOBS) I have nothing to offer anybody. 1805 01:15:29,960 --> 01:15:31,753 Want some article quotes? 1806 01:15:33,320 --> 01:15:35,799 I'm just another cog in the system, 1807 01:15:35,800 --> 01:15:37,869 just another face in the book. 1808 01:15:37,870 --> 01:15:40,066 I'm living my life and not doing anything with it 1809 01:15:40,067 --> 01:15:41,299 and I don't know why. 1810 01:15:41,300 --> 01:15:42,300 No, no. 1811 01:15:43,365 --> 01:15:45,969 I just sit in front of a screen most of the week, 1812 01:15:45,970 --> 01:15:48,149 I just go on autopilot. 1813 01:15:48,150 --> 01:15:49,729 I don't know what to say to people, 1814 01:15:49,730 --> 01:15:52,699 I don't know how to be in any situation 1815 01:15:52,700 --> 01:15:55,759 when I'm looking at these photos of people getting married, 1816 01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:57,524 and being so happy. 1817 01:15:57,525 --> 01:16:00,479 Just the smiling, and living everything 1818 01:16:00,480 --> 01:16:01,786 that they probably wanted and more. 1819 01:16:01,787 --> 01:16:03,702 And I don't have that, you know? 1820 01:16:03,703 --> 01:16:05,219 I mean, look at me, right? 1821 01:16:05,220 --> 01:16:07,309 I've been like traveling and experiencing things 1822 01:16:07,310 --> 01:16:09,469 my entire life, you know, dabbled in this and that, 1823 01:16:09,470 --> 01:16:13,979 and yeah, it makes for a very extensive Facebook profile, 1824 01:16:13,980 --> 01:16:15,330 but where has it gotten me? 1825 01:16:16,274 --> 01:16:17,210 I mean, look at me. 1826 01:16:17,211 --> 01:16:18,469 I'm single, I'm alone, 1827 01:16:18,470 --> 01:16:20,179 I've never committed to anything, 1828 01:16:20,180 --> 01:16:22,323 and it's gotten me absolutely nothing. 1829 01:16:23,430 --> 01:16:26,113 I'm not some kind of sexy alternative to stability. 1830 01:16:28,300 --> 01:16:29,567 What is stability? 1831 01:16:32,853 --> 01:16:33,853 You. 1832 01:16:34,746 --> 01:16:35,746 Yeah. 1833 01:16:36,656 --> 01:16:38,073 Stability is you. 1834 01:18:08,040 --> 01:18:09,583 You can boil water in it. 1835 01:18:10,652 --> 01:18:11,652 And you'll need to. 1836 01:18:34,071 --> 01:18:37,988 (GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC) 1837 01:19:16,975 --> 01:19:19,392 (DOOR SLAMS) 1838 01:19:29,644 --> 01:19:32,061 (DOOR OPENS) 1839 01:19:43,797 --> 01:19:44,913 Cancel the trip. 1840 01:19:46,234 --> 01:19:47,067 Are you sure? 1841 01:19:47,067 --> 01:19:48,067 Because I can, 1842 01:19:49,860 --> 01:19:50,860 okay. 1843 01:19:54,444 --> 01:19:56,944 (BIRD CHIRPS) 1844 01:20:00,604 --> 01:20:02,949 (SIGHS) 1845 01:20:02,950 --> 01:20:03,950 Why'd you do it? 1846 01:20:05,440 --> 01:20:06,840 I'm gonna do it on my own. 1847 01:20:10,450 --> 01:20:11,790 All on your own, or... 1848 01:20:15,650 --> 01:20:17,639 How long is the love stare? 1849 01:20:17,640 --> 01:20:19,963 Well, I don't know, but I can Google it. 1850 01:20:20,874 --> 01:20:23,741 Let's just do a minute. 1851 01:20:23,742 --> 01:20:26,492 (PHONE CLICKING) 1852 01:20:32,863 --> 01:20:35,196 (CHUCKLING) 1853 01:21:24,914 --> 01:21:27,497 (PHONE CHIMES) 1854 01:21:31,634 --> 01:21:34,217 (PHONE CHIMES) 1855 01:21:38,074 --> 01:21:41,407 (GENTLE ACOUSTIC MUSIC) 1856 01:21:50,114 --> 01:21:53,374 ♪ Sunset in the bedroom ♪ 1857 01:21:53,375 --> 01:21:56,433 ♪ My camera in my hand ♪ 1858 01:21:56,434 --> 01:22:01,434 ♪ And she's strikin' poses again ♪ 1859 01:22:02,703 --> 01:22:06,370 ♪ We're almost out of light ♪ 1860 01:22:15,381 --> 01:22:18,283 ♪ I can't seem to focus ♪ 1861 01:22:18,284 --> 01:22:21,393 ♪ And she keeps lookin' away ♪ 1862 01:22:21,394 --> 01:22:26,394 ♪ I'm not sure how much more we can take ♪ 1863 01:22:27,634 --> 01:22:32,634 ♪ We're almost out of light ♪ 1864 01:22:33,994 --> 01:22:38,994 ♪ All alone, I fight ♪ 1865 01:22:40,226 --> 01:22:45,226 ♪ All alone, I fight ♪ 1866 01:22:47,587 --> 01:22:52,587 ♪ For it used to come easy ♪ 1867 01:22:55,558 --> 01:23:00,558 ♪ Easy ♪ 1868 01:23:01,696 --> 01:23:05,066 ♪ I took a roll on the old rug ♪ 1869 01:23:05,067 --> 01:23:08,044 ♪ A roll in the bed ♪ 1870 01:23:08,045 --> 01:23:13,045 ♪ There's one more shot till this roll is dead ♪ 1871 01:23:14,507 --> 01:23:16,342 ♪ We're almost ♪ 1872 01:23:16,343 --> 01:23:20,794 ♪ Out of light ♪ 1873 01:23:20,795 --> 01:23:25,795 ♪ All alone, I fight ♪ 1874 01:23:27,024 --> 01:23:32,024 ♪ All alone, I fight ♪ 1875 01:23:34,416 --> 01:23:39,416 ♪ For it used to come easy ♪ 1876 01:23:42,296 --> 01:23:47,296 ♪ Easy ♪ 1877 01:23:50,862 --> 01:23:55,862 ♪ She makes me beg ♪ 1878 01:23:56,086 --> 01:24:01,086 ♪ Like that's all she ever wanted ♪ 1879 01:24:01,286 --> 01:24:05,775 ♪ And I bet all I get ♪ 1880 01:24:05,776 --> 01:24:09,062 ♪ Is a bottom drawer full of regret ♪ 1881 01:24:09,063 --> 01:24:11,794 ♪ And pictures that ♪ 1882 01:24:11,795 --> 01:24:15,545 ♪ I'll never wanna see again ♪ 1883 01:24:26,206 --> 01:24:29,314 ♪ Sunset in the bedroom ♪ 1884 01:24:29,315 --> 01:24:32,455 ♪ A camera in my hand ♪ 1885 01:24:32,456 --> 01:24:37,456 ♪ And she's strikin' poses again ♪ 1886 01:24:38,744 --> 01:24:42,411 ♪ We're almost out of light ♪ 1887 01:24:58,644 --> 01:25:00,561 ♪ Ooh ♪ 129812

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