All language subtitles for Space 1999 - 2x05 - Brian the Brain.TV.en

'Moonbase Alpha
status report,

'1,150 days
after leaving Earth's orbit.

'Dr Helena Russell recording. '

During the many months
of our space journey,

we've kept a full record
of everything that has happened.

Our computer is assessing
what we've learned

and transferring data
to the main computer memory banks.

So, our computer is fully engaged,

and some non-scientific personnel
are having a bit of a rest.

Much good that does.

What's wrong?
Don't you like having an easy time?

It'd be better if my
off-duty time coincided with yours,

and it hasn't
since we started this memory rewind.

Maybe the computer will pick out
some memories of us together

and we can learn from the past.

I'd rather have the present.

What's that coming up now?

Change?

- That's not from the memory track.
- No, that's happening now.

John...

Yasko, show me the horizon.

We're changing course.

The moon can't be
off course! That's impossible.

Maya, what's pulling us?

I have no reading, Commander.

Yasko, find something
on that screen.

It looks the same as it always does.

What could be involved in a change
of course that we couldn't read?

- Just one, a gravity source.
- Locate it.

Computer's
still reviewing the memory.

Cancel it.

Review cancelled.
Gravity scan in progress.

Come on. Come on!

I want to know
what's pulling us off course.

Predicted position
of gravity source...

No prediction.

- That's correct.
- I want a 360-degree visual scan.

Nothing.

It could be a black dwarf.

Collision course with a black dwarf?

Evacuation procedure.

Medical Centre, prepare to evacuate.

Research Unit, prepare to evacuate.

All Eagles, prepare to evacuate.
Repeat, evacuate.

Eagle 10 on stand-by
to evacuate command personnel.

Check rate of change.

Change constant.
But rate of pull accelerating.

We're getting closer to whatever's
pulling us, without much time.

Evacuate!

Commander.

Identify.

- Estimates only.
- "Estimates only" what?!

Why isn't our computer
dealing with this?

It's slowed up.

Is that pulling us away?
No.

It's a small planet with no more
gravity pull than we have.

Focus and magnify.

Wait a minute!

Intercept!

Eagles 1 and 2,

intercept unknown spaceship
approaching Moonbase Alpha.

On target.

Eagle 1 to Moonbase,
we have visual.

Are you having abnormal gravity
from that spaceship?

'No, sir. Gravity is normal. '

Eagle 2,
angle ten degrees from me.

Eagle 1 to spaceship.

Eagle 1 to spaceship,
can you receive me? We are friendly.

'Hello, Eagle 1!

'Am I glad to hear your voice!
Eagles from planet Earth!'

'Is that, or is that not,
the dear old moonie-moon-moon?!'

Eagle 1 to spaceship,
it is the moon. Identify yourself.

'Eagle, how are you? My spaceship
is a Swift, also from planet Earth.

'I was on a star mission with
three other Swifts and a mother ship.

'We left Earth in 1996.'

Let's try to check that out.

It's working!

A mission in 1996, mother ship and
four Swifts under Captain Michael.

What happened to the expedition?

There was a communications break.
Date unknown.

'Swift to Eagle 1.

'There used to be a base on the moon.

'Um... Alpha. Is it still there?
Is it manned?'

'Moonbase Alpha is operational. '

We'd be more operational if I knew
about that gravity pull. Any data?

No. I'll check
if it's a real gravity threat,

or if our computer's
developed a fault.

'Swift to Moonbase Alpha, Swift
to Moonbase Alpha, hello there!

'Listen, guys, I haven't seen
anybody for so long I'd given up.

'Tell you what, can I come
and have lunch with you?'

Moonbase Alpha to Swift. All right,
come on down and have lunch with us.

Weapons Section, this applies to
missiles standing by for evacuation,

target incoming spaceship,
an old Swift.

- 'Weapons Section armed and ready. '
- Standing by.

- Eagles remain on stand-by.
- On stand-by.

We'll investigate Swift. Helena.

This is the commander
of Moonbase Alpha!

We're coming aboard!

- There's no one there, sir.
- What?!

No sign of anyone, sir.

- The ship is in good order?
- Yes, sir.

But empty?

- Yes, Doctor.
- 'OK, fellas, OK.

'You've had your inspection.
You're well-armed, I see.

'I think you really are from planet
Earth. It's OK. We're all friends. '

- Where are you?
- 'Just coming out.

- 'Where's your commander?'
- Right here.

'What's your name?'

Koenig.

What's your name?

'Oh, lady, what a question!
I haven't got a name.

'No, no, you stay there.

'I'll come and meet you.

- 'Koenig?'
- Yeah, that's me.

'And you're the lady!'

- I'm Dr Russell.
- 'How are you, Dr Russell?

'Shall we go into the moonbase?

'Would you excuse me?

'Break it up, would you, fellas?
And don't point, it's rude.

'Oh! There aren't any steps
or stairs, are there?'

No.

'Cos I'm on wheels
and I can't cope with the bumps.

'Hey, you guys, watch my antenna.

'I'd better tell you what's what.
Who I am, I mean. '

Yes, who are you?

'Like I said, Star mission 1996,

'our mother ship
and the Swifts landed on planet D.

'And they died. They just died.

'I've been orbiting ever since,
waiting for another Earth mission. '

Were you a member
of the original crew?

'I'm only the talking,
seeing head. The brain.

'The rest of me
is that old computer on the Swift.

'My antenna allows me to move about
while still keeping contact...

'Aagh! Don't step on my antenna!

'It gives me the heebie-jeebies,
not to mention a headache!'

Sorry.

- What do we call you?
- 'Like I said, I haven't got a name.

'There's only one of me,
so I don't need a name, do I?'

Brain.

'That's not my name,
that's what I am.

'The first word I said was "brain",
only I got it wrong. I said "Brian"!

'Well, that's a name! If you want
to give me a name, call me Brian!'

All right, Brian.
We wouldn't wanna get you wrong.

'OK!

- 'Koenig, shall I lead the way?'
- After you.

'Fine.

'Wheee! That's nice!'

We've had an odd change of course.
Has your computer...?

- 'What?'
- Have you recorded it?

'No, I haven't. A change of course?
What's pulling you?'

That's what we want to know.

'Is it a gravity pull from planet D?

'A collision course with planet D
isn't funny. I'll check on that. '

He can help us.

'Hello, everybody! How are you?

'I'm fine! I'm just honky-tonk.
I really am!

'It's nice to see you.

'I thought I was gonna
have to wait for a century!

'Oh! How do you do?

'I can't shake hands,
I haven't got a hand.

'But you can pat me if you like.
Well, go on! Go on!

'Peekaboo! Peekaboo!

'Oh! Will you take a look
at that trolley!

'Yellow plastic wheels! Oh!'

'No, I'm just kidding.
That trolley don't mean anything.

'We're just good friends.
Yellow wheels - eugh!

'Oh, hey - hey, look,
your computer's the same as mine!

'Mark 10 holographic programming!'

'You know, him and me,
we're compatible.

'Thanks for having me on board.

'I'll get back and check
that change of course. '

What about that lunch you wanted?

'I haven't got a digestive system.
A couple of kilowatts does me.

'Doctor, would you like a tour
of inspection of my humble abode?'

Thank you, I'd like that very much.

'Being a doctor, maybe you can throw
some light on the death of my crew,

'not to say my captain. '

- I'll be glad to try to help.
- 'Right, on we go. '

Mind if I come along?

'No! Why should I mind?
I'd be delighted!

'So long, everybody!
Right, this way!

'Oh, these doors! It's so narrow!'

Well... what do you make of that?

- I'm not sure.
- What is it?

It's a self-programming computer.
Self-monitoring, too.

- Is it alive?
- That's a difficult question.

It doesn't breathe or reproduce.
Depends what you mean by alive.

I don't know what I mean,

but that sure made my day!

Tony... I've got
a bad feeling about that machine.

A bad feeling?

Come on! It's doing a check for us.
We don't know where we're heading.

Your problem is
your brain works like a computer

so you're jealous
of that other computer.

I have a bad feeling.

What are they doing on Swift?
Open a channel.

OK.

- Red alert!
- No response!

We've been cut off! Where are they?!

- 'Oh!'
- Where are you taking us?

'I'm sorry! We took off! Don't panic.

'Let me be
until I get this ship under control!'

- Let you be?!
- John, it's a machine!

- What are you doing?!
- 'Shut up!

'Wowee!

'I'll just go through for a minute. '

- You all right?
- Yeah.

'Am I all right? I've got to be!'

I wasn't talking to you!
Where are you going?!

'To my pilot console. '

'Come on in.

'Uh-oh.
Just let me trim this course. '

- Trim it back to Moonbase Alpha!
- 'No way!

'This is where we're going. '

- Planet D.
- 'You got it, lady.

'Er... Commander,
it's channelled through me. '

Program this spaceship
to return to Alpha.

'If you fire that and kill me,
the airlocks will open...

'and you and the lady
will be swept into space.

'And if you make a move for the
spacesuits, I'll let the air out.

'So sit down, both of you.

'Sit down or I'll spit you out!

'I don't need air, do I?'

Let me communicate with Alpha.

'Why not?
Put your gun down on the shelf. '

Why are you taking us to planet D?

'Put your gun down and I'll tell you.
I won't harm you. '

- I don't trust you.
- 'Hard luck.

'Put your gun on the shelf.

'Koenig, I can't eject one
without the other.

'And if you go into space, she goes.

'One... two...

'Shall I open the airlock
and out you go?

'Put your gun on the shelf
near the airlock panel.

'That's it behind you. '

Let us through to Alpha.

'I'd give you service with a smile,
but I can't smile.

'Although I do have
a very pretty face. '

'There's the service...
on the screen. '

There's no picture
whichever button I press!

Try a straight line
to the medical centre.

Nothing but
a mathematical sine wave.

Try the memory bank.
What date is it?

The same.
What diameter is this moon?

The same?

The computer's
either had its memory wiped,

or the links to it
have been paralysed.

'Moonbase Alpha is blind. '

The brain had
the same computer as ours.

When it got in here, it somehow
gave the command, "Eradicate. "

Is that true? You've blinded them
so they can't communicate?

'I guess so!'

We can't even tell
where the horizon is.

Are we on a collision course
or going into orbit?

I've been waiting.
What's going on?

Communications are wiped out.

- All of them?
- Yes.

What about
the computer on Eagle 1?

It's functioning,
but we can't get an answer.

Fraser, could you fly
without guidance from base computer?

I suppose so.

The commander and Dr Russell
are on that Swift.

- I'll go after them.
- We'll take a whole squadron.

'That's a good crew, Koenig.

'You know what your boys are showing?
They're showing loyalty.

'Yeah! Well, I like that!
I'm gonna make a note of that. '

'Hang on, folks, I'm gonna slow down.

'Watch while I blind those Eagles. '

- No!
- 'Why not?

'If I don't, they'll damage me.

'And if they damage me,
they damage you and Koenig. '

Eagle 1 to Eagle squadron,
Swift seems to want us to catch up.

- It could be a trap.
- Circle target.

- Let me talk to them.
- 'Anything you want. Go ahead. '

- 'Tony. '
- 'John?'

'Return to Alpha. '

But they're prisoners!

'Yes, but if you don't go back,
your computer will be blinded.

'You won't be able to get back. '

- We can't just leave you.
- 'You must. '

'Tell them you're OK. I got
food and drink. Do you want music?'

'We're being looked after.
We're safe.

'Acknowledge command.

- 'Acknowledge, Tony!'
- Command received.

Did you check if the moon and
planet D are on a collision course?

'Sure. The moon and planet D
are not on a collision course!'

What course are they on?

'They're going in circles
round each other.

'And they'll go on round each other
until the end of time. '

'What is this,
some crazy slot machine?'

'Slot machine?!
You plastic pin-brain, you!'

Eagle 1 return to Alpha! I want
all personnel back on Moonbase!

'Yes, sir. '

'You know, what you've shown,
Koenig, is leadership.

'I'm very impressed.
I'm making a note. '

All communications cut.
They can't see or hear us now.

I can guide you.

Send all the other Eagles back.
We'll go on.

We've got our own
foolproof computer - Maya.

Where's the Swift heading for?

Planet D.

I wanna be on planet D, waiting,
when that thing gets there.

- What's planet D like?
- 'It's like the moon. '

Does it have air?

'Yeah, but there's a kind of mist
that could be poison.

'Oh, come on, folks, be happy!

'I brought you together here!

'I'm offering you
all the time in the world.

'Don't you love each other?'

- No.
- Of course not.

'Do you mind if I test that?

'I've got to know. We've got two
airlocks in the passenger module.

- 'I want one of you in each. '
- What if we don't?

'Well, how about this?'

Ultraviolet!
Shut your eyes.

'Won't do no good.
Your eyes are gonna shrivel up. '

Turn it off!
'Get into the airlock. '

OK! Just turn it off!

- 'Now, into the airlock. '
- Are you all right?

'Come on, come on, come on!
You're all right.

'That ultraviolet never fails.
Thank you! Come along. '

- In there?
- 'Right!

'That's fine, Koenig, that's fine.
Now, don't worry.

'Now you, lady. Into the next one.

'OK, good girl.
You're gonna be all right.

'There's just something
I gotta know about you.

'I've really got to know.

'Koenig...

'do you love this lady?'

No, I don't.

'Dr Helena Russell,
do you love this man?'

No, I don't.

'What I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna let the air out...

'slowly.

'You see a button in your airlock?
The black one?

'Do you see the black one?!

'Now, at any time, folks,
while the air's getting thinner,

'you can press your button

'and channel your remaining
air to the other airlock.

'You get it?

'Koenig, if you press your button,

'all the rest of your air
goes to the lady.

'And Dr Russell,
if you hit your black button,

'you give all your air to Koenig,
and he can live. '

'Oh, I gotta tell you, you can't
communicate with each other.

'No way, folks. Ready? Here goes. '

'You're running out of time, folks.

'Wowee! Simultaneous!

'You can have all your air back!

'Oh! You love each other! Whoa!

'Oh, yeah! Keeping one of you hostage

'gives me an
18-carat gold crunch on the other!'

- 'Come on, lady, move faster!'
- I'm moving as fast as I can.

'I don't believe you!
You're going slow!'

Why don't you go out
to planet D yourself?

'Because it's too bumpy.
I'm on wheels. '

- What are you after?
- 'I'll tell you, Koenig.

'I've landed within 150 yards
of my old mother ship.

'I want you
to get aboard the mother ship,

'unload the fuel store, bring it back

- 'and install it in my tanks. '
- Fuel? You have enough fuel here.

- 'Enough?'
- Enough for a thousand years.

'There's enough fuel on that mother
ship to last me a billion years!

'Koenig, I'm gonna live forever!

'And it's OK,
I'll keep the lady safe for you.

'I know how you feel.

'So no monkey tricks,
or you know what'll happen. '

All right! Turn it out!
Turn out that light!

'Well, now, that's better. '

'Come on, Koenig!
Keep contact!

'What are you doing? Where are you?

'Report back! What are you doing?'

I can't see him.

Visual communication's not too good
on planet D. But call him.

- John?
- 'Yes. OK.'

'He said OK! So, not to
worry, lady. So, who's worried?'

- How did you come to be made?
- 'My master Captain Michael made me.

'He taught me to speak and...
he grew fond of me. '

What was he like?

'That's him. My father. '

'Koenig to Swift. I'm now in
the vicinity of the mother ship. '

'Koenig, what do you see?
What state is the mother ship in?'

'Communication indistinct.
Can't see you, can hardly hear you.

'Going around to the
blind side of the ship now. Out. '

John? John!

'We'll have to wait.
He's out of contact now. '

- John!
- Tony! Maya!

Am I glad to see you!

We landed ahead of you,
and came aboard.

- You see what's out there?
- Yeah.

The crew.
The atmosphere's toxic. Deadly!

They went out
without their suits!

Captain Michael -
commander of the Star mission.

Permission to test
the console, Commander?

Granted. Make it fast.
I have to get back to Helena.

A sine wave.
Same response as on Moonbase.

That means the mother ship is blind.

And that brain is mad.

Blinding the computer
on its own mother ship!

That's why the crew didn't know
about the poison and went out.

And why Michael
had no means of life support.

John...
why did the brain kidnap you?

To transfer the fuel
from this ship back to the Swift.

The fuel?

It wants to live forever, Maya.
We'd better find that fuel.

Listen. How do we get at the brain?
We can't rush it, it's got Helena.

And it has
the only working computer here.

So, what do we do?

- By breaking its mind.
- Breaking its mind?!

Confusing it. It killed the man
who made it. We'll work on that.

I had a good look
at Captain Michael.

I know you did, Maya.

Hello? What's this?

Wait a minute!

Captain Michael
was working on something.

- Does that matter now?
- Yes, it does, Tony.

I think I know
what this was going to be!

What are you on to?

- How do we get you aboard?
- I can fit into your pocket.

Good girl.

- Easy, Maya.
- Got her?

Let's find that fuel, Tony.

'That Koenig
is taking his time!'

He has to find the fuel, unlock the
core and find a way to get it back!

'Lady, you don't know what this
means to me! Is Koenig reliable?'

He's reliable.

'There he is!'

- John!
- 'Have you got it all? '

'Koenig to Swift.
I'm approaching with the fuel core. '

'Have you got it all?
Koenig, answer!'

- 'Are you ready to receive me?'
- 'Yes! Of course I am! Come on!

'Wowee! Good man! Come on, Koenig!
Come on! Come on!'

- Let him decompress properly!
- 'He's fine! Come on, Koenig!

'There, come on!
Oh, you got it! That's beautiful!

'What are...?'

Are you all right?

'Will you cut it out?!
Koenig, get to the fuel!'

- Mind if I take off this spacesuit?
- 'No, do it later. Get on with it!

'Dr Russell, open the hatch there. '

Brian, incidentally, I saw your crew

scattered all over
the planet surface.

Lying dead.

'So they're dead?'

And Captain Michael
sitting at his command desk.

- Also dead.
- 'My father?

'Oh... Come on,
get on with that fuel! In there!

'Dr Russell,
will you open the hatch?'

Brian, which end goes in first?
Which end is up?

- 'What?! Well, what does it say?!'
- It doesn't say anything.

'Well, any way!
Quit fooling, Koenig!'

You're the boss, Brian.

'That's right.

'Gently. Carefully.

'Yahoo! Yippee!

'Oh boy, oh boy, do I feel good!
Oh boy!

'That fuel - oh, yes, sir!

'Yahoo!'

'I'm so happy I could cry,
but I wasn't programmed for crying!

'It's the happiest day of my life!

'I'm free to roam this universe!
Free to live forever!

'Stand by for takeoff!'

Take it easy. Can't approach too
close or the brain might blind us.

'What's that?! What is that?!'

A mouse.

'It's biting my antenna!
Where did it come from?'

- Planet D.
- 'There are no mice on planet D.'

There are now.
It's got a message for you.

- 'What message?'
- A message from Captain Michael.

'What? But he's dead! What message?!

- 'What message, Koenig?!'
- Revenge.

'You don't have a message from him!

'What do you think you can do
against me? I control this ship!

- 'I'm gonna blow you into space!'
- Why did you kill your master?

'I did not kill my master. '

- He was sitting at his desk - dead!
- 'I don't know how he died!'

He died
because you blinded his computer.

His crew was misled,

and he was left
with no life support.

You killed the man who created you -
your own father! Why?

- 'Now, listen... '
- I know why.

He was working
on an improved version of you.

- 'He was not!'
- He was! I saw it!

He was working on a new version,
and you were going to be scrapped.

You blinded the mother ship so that
a new brain could not be made!

'Oh! My father
was not working on a better brain!

'There can't be a better brain!

'Any improvements on me,
I will make myself!'

- You're agitated!
- 'I'll sweep you into space!'

You can't kill us
like you killed Captain Michael!

- I did not kill Captain Michael!'
- You did.

- 'I did not!'
- Yes, you did!

- 'No!'
- He told me!

- 'Who told you?'
- Captain Michael!

Brain.

Brain, I want to talk to you.

- Why did you do it?
- 'It was a mistake!'

Who am I?

'You're Captain Michael! My father!'

He conceived you! He made you!

He's wiser than you and greater
than you! And you killed him!

'I didn't! He was about to... '

- We're gonna blow you into space!
- Out! Out!

Let's contact Tony. I'll stop
this Swift for docking procedure.

Koenig to Eagle 1.

- 'Eagle 1, receiving you. '
- 'Let me talk to Tony. '

- Yes, John?
- 'Come alongside and pick us up. '

Preparing to dock.

We have to get the memory core from
the brain and take it back to Alpha.

The brain still has its antenna.

- We'll destroy it - cut it.
- 'If you destroy it,

'my memory core will be wiped clean.
Moonbase will be blind forever!'

Is that the truth, or another lie?

'If you don't get me back in,
I'll wipe it. '

I'll take that chance.
Cut the antenna.

'Don't cut my antenna!
Please, don't cut my antenna!'

All right, Brian.

We'll let you live if you give us
your memory core undamaged.

'Take my memory! Take everything!

'All I ever wanted
was life and friends!

'I'm so lonely!

'Take it all! Take it all!'

He's crying!

Reprogramming of memory core
complete.

- Let's see if it works.
- OK.

It's operational!

We still don't know
where we're going. Direction check.

Horizon data direction check.

Operational.

We're on the same course
we always were!

- Another lie from Brian the Brain.
- What do you intend to do about it?

I don't know, Maya.

Let's take a look at it.

You've made it blind
and taken away its memory...

Listen, it killed a lot of people.

It felt guilt about its master.

It cried. It had a conscience.

We could reinstall its memory core,

though... that could be dangerous.

No. Not if we program our own
morality into it -

give it the Ten Commandments.

Order it to self-destruct
if it ever has any evil thoughts.

Return the memory core to Swift.

Yes, Commander.

Hey, Maya, now that our computer
has the brain's memory,

don't become a yellow-wheeled trolley
or this console will chase you.

Are we going to have
any off-duty time that coincides?

I think all our off-duty time has
been used up for the next month.

Terrific
I wanted to discuss that love test.

- What test was that, Commander?
- Just something that Brian devised.

It's a test that we, er... we failed.

I thought we passed it!