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1
00:00:01,734 --> 00:00:04,767
( theme music playing )
2
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MAN:
Yo! Cab!
3
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Taxi!
4
00:01:29,901 --> 00:01:32,834
Where to?
5
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51st street, please.
6
00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:38,033
Oh, right.
7
00:01:42,567 --> 00:01:45,167
Do you mind the dog
being in the cab, do you?
8
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No. He doesn't mind me
being in it, does he?
9
00:01:48,167 --> 00:01:49,667
Don't worry about him.
10
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He's very well trained.
11
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He just got out
of obedience school.
12
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I take him everywhere with me.
13
00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:55,767
I just won him in a poker game
a few weeks back.
14
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It's a beautiful dog, isn't he?
15
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Yeah, he sure is beautiful.
16
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Name is Hamlet.
17
00:02:00,567 --> 00:02:03,133
You can probably guess
why I call him Hamlet.
18
00:02:03,167 --> 00:02:06,267
Grew up in a small town?
19
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:09,133
No. Because he's
a Great Dane.
20
00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:12,901
You know, Hamlet,
the Dane in the play.
21
00:02:12,934 --> 00:02:14,901
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22
00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:17,000
Very intelligent dog, too.
23
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Watch, I'll show you.
24
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Speak, Hamlet. Speak.
25
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:25,934
Come on, Hamlet, speak.
26
00:02:25,968 --> 00:02:27,968
Come on, Hamlet, speak.
27
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:33,267
"O, what a rogue
and peasant slave am I!"
28
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:37,234
Come on, Hamlet, speak,
you stupid dog.
29
00:02:37,267 --> 00:02:38,601
Come on, speak!
30
00:02:38,634 --> 00:02:40,467
That's okay. If he thinks
of something to say later on
31
00:02:40,501 --> 00:02:42,367
he can call me.
32
00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:47,901
Uh, it's a buck 65.
33
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,234
There you go.
34
00:02:49,267 --> 00:02:50,968
Ah, that's all right.
35
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,234
Thank you.
36
00:02:52,267 --> 00:02:54,467
You know, he really is
a very smart dog.
37
00:02:54,501 --> 00:02:56,234
I don't know
what's wrong with him today.
38
00:02:56,267 --> 00:02:58,000
Hold out your hand,
he'll give you his paw.
39
00:02:58,033 --> 00:02:59,634
Uh, no, I don't
think I better.
40
00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:01,033
No, no, no.
Come on, hold out your hand,
41
00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:02,534
he'll give you his paw.
42
00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:04,234
Give him your paw, Ham.
43
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,467
I said paw, not floor.
44
00:03:06,501 --> 00:03:07,467
Ah, that's okay.
45
00:03:07,501 --> 00:03:08,601
No, it isn't okay.
46
00:03:08,634 --> 00:03:10,767
Get up from there,
you stupid dog.
47
00:03:10,801 --> 00:03:12,300
Come on,
get up from there!
Hey, that's o...
48
00:03:12,334 --> 00:03:13,467
Hey, mister, what
are you doing?
49
00:03:13,501 --> 00:03:15,334
Get up from there.
Well, he's got to learn.
Hey, what are...
50
00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:16,400
Get up from there.
51
00:03:16,434 --> 00:03:17,601
( dog whimpers )
Hey, don't hit the dog.
52
00:03:17,634 --> 00:03:19,667
You-- It's my dog.
I'll hit him if I want to.
53
00:03:19,701 --> 00:03:21,467
Get up from there
you stupid dog.
Come on, it's my cab.
54
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:23,300
Don't hit the dog
in my cab.
I said, get up from there!
55
00:03:23,334 --> 00:03:24,834
Hey, mister, you hear
what I said?
When I tell you to get up
56
00:03:24,868 --> 00:03:26,234
Will you cut it out?
get up from there.
57
00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:27,601
Hey, mister, will you
cut that out?
Get up from there,
58
00:03:27,634 --> 00:03:29,234
you stupid dog.
Hey, give me that.
Give me that.
59
00:03:29,267 --> 00:03:30,667
What...?
Get out of my cab.
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00:03:30,701 --> 00:03:31,667
Go on. Get out of here.
61
00:03:31,701 --> 00:03:33,767
All right.
Come on, Hamlet.
62
00:03:33,801 --> 00:03:35,534
Hamlet, come out here!
63
00:03:35,567 --> 00:03:37,033
Come...!
64
00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:40,133
Hey, you got
my dog in there!
( barking )
65
00:03:40,167 --> 00:03:42,467
( tires screeching )
66
00:03:47,801 --> 00:03:49,400
( brakes screeching )
67
00:03:57,667 --> 00:04:00,501
Hi. It's Bobby Wheeler.
68
00:04:00,534 --> 00:04:01,834
Any messages?
69
00:04:01,868 --> 00:04:04,667
Well, a-are you sure?
70
00:04:04,701 --> 00:04:10,601
Yeah, okay, well,
just check again, all right?
71
00:04:10,634 --> 00:04:12,734
O-okay. Now, listen.
I'm down at the garage.
72
00:04:12,767 --> 00:04:15,133
If anybody calls,
you give them the number.
73
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:16,167
All right.
74
00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:24,467
Hey, what are you doing, man?
75
00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:25,834
Let me go, Tony.
I got to hit something.
76
00:04:25,868 --> 00:04:26,834
Hey, what are you crazy?
77
00:04:26,868 --> 00:04:28,868
I can see you're upset,
but, uh, don't hit that.
78
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:30,033
You could really hurt yourself.
79
00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:31,033
Yeah, well,
I don't care, man,
80
00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:32,133
'cause I got to hit something.
81
00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:33,334
All right,
all right. Here.
82
00:04:33,367 --> 00:04:35,734
Hit me. Here,
in the stomach.
Go ahead.
83
00:04:35,767 --> 00:04:36,834
I can't do that.
84
00:04:36,868 --> 00:04:39,367
Come on, don't worry about it.
I'm hard as a rock.
85
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,701
I do 200 sit-ups a day.
86
00:04:40,734 --> 00:04:42,734
I go to the gym, guys
hit me all the time.
87
00:04:42,767 --> 00:04:44,601
It's part of my training.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
88
00:04:44,634 --> 00:04:45,934
You're sure now, right?
89
00:04:45,968 --> 00:04:47,300
Go ahead. Hard as
you can. Go ahead.
90
00:04:48,334 --> 00:04:50,167
Oh, Tony!
I'm sorry.
91
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,601
Are you okay?
92
00:04:52,634 --> 00:04:54,033
I'm fine. I'm fine.
93
00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:57,534
Hey, listen, if it makes you
feel any better,
94
00:04:57,567 --> 00:04:58,601
I feel great.
95
00:04:58,634 --> 00:05:00,968
Great.
Anytime I can help.
96
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,367
I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry, Tony.
97
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,467
Hey, hey, John?
98
00:05:04,501 --> 00:05:05,834
John, don't use
that phone, okay?
99
00:05:07,167 --> 00:05:09,501
John, I said
don't use that phone!
100
00:05:15,868 --> 00:05:17,467
LOUIE:
Hey, Bob.
101
00:05:17,501 --> 00:05:20,901
Is it all right if
John uses the toilet?
102
00:05:20,934 --> 00:05:22,767
Just lay off, Louie, okay?
103
00:05:22,801 --> 00:05:25,267
I got a lot of things
on my mind.
104
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:26,634
Hi, boys.
105
00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:27,934
Hi, Alex.
106
00:05:27,968 --> 00:05:29,067
Hi.
107
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:30,601
Hey, listen, um, could
you do me a favor?
108
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,667
Yeah?
I'm expecting a call
any minute, you know.
109
00:05:32,701 --> 00:05:34,133
And could you wait with me?
110
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,834
'Cause I don't want to
be alone when I get it.
111
00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:37,501
Yeah, sure.
What kind of phone call?
112
00:05:37,534 --> 00:05:39,000
Well, you see...
113
00:05:39,033 --> 00:05:40,000
LATKA:
Alex. Yo.
114
00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:42,834
I find...
I find in your cab.
115
00:05:42,868 --> 00:05:44,067
Yeah, I know.
116
00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:46,501
Oh, my gosh.
Look at him.
117
00:05:46,534 --> 00:05:48,133
Wow. Where'd you find him?
118
00:05:48,167 --> 00:05:49,501
I took him away from
some guy in my cab.
119
00:05:49,534 --> 00:05:51,000
He was whipping him
with his leash.
120
00:05:51,033 --> 00:05:53,367
Hey, you shouldn't do that, boy.
You could hurt somebody.
121
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:54,701
ALEX:
Not him.
122
00:05:54,734 --> 00:05:56,534
Hey, Alex...
123
00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:57,534
He's so gorgeous.
124
00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:58,801
What's his name?
125
00:05:58,834 --> 00:05:59,801
Alex, you see,
this phone call...
126
00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:01,100
His name is Hamlet.
127
00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:02,434
Are you going to him?
128
00:06:02,467 --> 00:06:03,434
Well, I guess so.
129
00:06:03,467 --> 00:06:04,968
Till I can find
a better home for him.
130
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,367
Hey, Latka, will you do me a
favor and get Hamlet some water?
131
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,200
Come on.
Oh, I'm sorry, Bobby.
132
00:06:11,234 --> 00:06:13,634
Uh, you were telling me
about this phone call.
133
00:06:13,667 --> 00:06:14,634
Yeah, it...
Hey, so what's doing here?
134
00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:15,968
Are we getting
breakfast or what?
135
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,501
Hey, what's this phone call
you're waiting for?
136
00:06:17,534 --> 00:06:20,000
It's about an acting job.
137
00:06:20,033 --> 00:06:20,801
Oh...
138
00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:22,000
Yeah, I'm up for the lead
139
00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:23,300
in an off-broadway play.
140
00:06:23,334 --> 00:06:24,667
That's something.
All right!
141
00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:26,033
Yeah, but the thing is
142
00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:27,834
it's down between me
and two other guys
143
00:06:27,868 --> 00:06:30,300
and they said they'd let me know
this morning. So...
144
00:06:30,334 --> 00:06:31,834
Stuff like that's
always happening to you.
145
00:06:31,868 --> 00:06:33,200
This is special?
146
00:06:33,234 --> 00:06:36,234
Yeah. See, that's why I wanted
to talk to you, Alex.
147
00:06:36,267 --> 00:06:39,033
I've got this whole
thing like, I...
148
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,567
All right, all right.
Everybody sit down.
149
00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:43,601
I'll tell you
150
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,501
See, when I first came
to New York...
151
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,033
Where did you
come from, Bobby?
152
00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:52,367
The Bronx.
153
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,868
I made this deal with myself.
154
00:06:58,901 --> 00:07:00,968
I mean, I knew how
there were thousands
155
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,601
of starving actors here
156
00:07:02,634 --> 00:07:05,167
and how it's a rotten life
and how very few make it
157
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,667
and how you can get old trying,
you know?
158
00:07:07,701 --> 00:07:09,767
So I gave myself
a strict time limit.
159
00:07:09,801 --> 00:07:11,400
Three years.
160
00:07:11,434 --> 00:07:13,033
Three years to get started
as an actor.
161
00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:15,300
Now, I promised myself,
if in that amount of time
162
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:17,100
if I didn't get
a paid acting job
163
00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:19,968
I'd give it up,
get a regular full-time job
164
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,601
and never think
about acting again.
165
00:07:21,634 --> 00:07:23,534
I mean a guy
can't go on
166
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:24,701
like I've been doing forever.
167
00:07:24,734 --> 00:07:26,734
You know, beating my brains out
here six nights a week.
168
00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:29,200
Spending my days trying out for
something that might not happen.
169
00:07:29,234 --> 00:07:30,968
I mean, there's got
to be a limit.
170
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,701
I figured three years.
171
00:07:32,734 --> 00:07:35,367
I mean, how could I not get a
job in three years, you know?
172
00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:41,834
Three years are up today.
173
00:07:41,868 --> 00:07:44,367
I mean, my life is riding
on this job, you know?
174
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,667
I got to get this part, Alex.
175
00:07:46,701 --> 00:07:48,667
You see, that's-that's why
I wanted you to be with me.
176
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:49,868
Yeah, I know.
Well, listen...
177
00:07:49,901 --> 00:07:52,501
'Cause you know how
much I want to act.
178
00:07:52,534 --> 00:07:56,767
It's the only thing
in the world that...
179
00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:59,000
that really matters to me.
180
00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:00,033
Yeah, I know...
181
00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:01,100
I mean, if they call
up and they tell me
182
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:02,701
that they're gonna pick
one of those other guys,
183
00:08:02,734 --> 00:08:04,400
Alex, I don't know
what I'm going to do.
184
00:08:04,434 --> 00:08:05,601
W-What are you going to do?
185
00:08:05,634 --> 00:08:07,467
So, they pick another guy. I
mean, It's not the world, is it?
186
00:08:07,501 --> 00:08:10,100
MAN:
All right, I
want my dog.
187
00:08:10,133 --> 00:08:11,133
Where's my dog?
188
00:08:11,167 --> 00:08:12,467
I'll right back to you,
Bobby.
189
00:08:12,501 --> 00:08:13,634
I got to deal
with this guy first.
190
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,868
Come on, where is he?
Hamlet?!
191
00:08:15,901 --> 00:08:16,901
Hamlet?!
192
00:08:16,934 --> 00:08:18,133
Oh, there he is.
193
00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:19,801
Would you give me
that dog, please?
194
00:08:19,834 --> 00:08:20,968
What dog?
195
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:21,968
Well, that dog.
196
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,133
That's my dog.
197
00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:25,567
I don't see any dog.
What dog are you talking about?
198
00:08:25,601 --> 00:08:26,868
ELAINE:
Yeah, I don't see
any dog either.
199
00:08:26,901 --> 00:08:28,167
Dog? What dog?
200
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,834
Hey, Fred, do you see a dog?
What dog?
201
00:08:30,868 --> 00:08:32,234
There isn't
any dog here.
202
00:08:32,267 --> 00:08:33,300
Oh, I get it.
203
00:08:33,334 --> 00:08:34,467
You guys are looking
for trouble, huh?
204
00:08:34,501 --> 00:08:35,667
LOUIE:
Hey!
205
00:08:35,701 --> 00:08:37,033
What's going on out here?
206
00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:38,968
Are you in charge here?
207
00:08:40,534 --> 00:08:42,868
Do old ladies get mugged?
208
00:08:44,701 --> 00:08:49,634
Well, that dog is my dog,
and I want him now.
209
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:52,300
Hey, Louie, we don't know
what this guy's talking about.
210
00:08:52,334 --> 00:08:54,701
You don't see
no dog here, do ya?
211
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:58,501
Uh... yeah...
I got something in my eyes.
212
00:08:58,534 --> 00:08:59,801
I can't see anything.
213
00:08:59,834 --> 00:09:02,133
I can't see if there's
a dog here or not.
214
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,234
Anybody got a dollar bill
215
00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:06,200
I could wipe the sweat
out of my eyes?
216
00:09:06,234 --> 00:09:08,300
ALEX:
Here, Louie.
217
00:09:08,334 --> 00:09:12,467
There's no dog here, mister.
218
00:09:12,501 --> 00:09:15,167
You guys think
you're pretty cute, don't you?
219
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,133
Well, you'd better
give me that dog
220
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,801
and you'd better
give him to me right now,
221
00:09:18,834 --> 00:09:20,067
because if you don't,
222
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,300
I'm going straight from here
to the police.
223
00:09:22,334 --> 00:09:23,200
Oh...
224
00:09:23,234 --> 00:09:24,200
Now, does anybody want
225
00:09:24,234 --> 00:09:25,400
to talk to me about that or not?
226
00:09:25,434 --> 00:09:27,033
Sure, you want somebody
to talk to you?
227
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,267
MAN:
Yeah.
Latka.
228
00:09:32,167 --> 00:09:34,000
Hi.
229
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:39,300
( speaking native language )
230
00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:43,567
Go, Latka!
231
00:09:43,601 --> 00:09:46,033
( phone ringing )
232
00:09:54,534 --> 00:09:55,834
Hi.
233
00:09:55,868 --> 00:09:57,167
Yeah, yeah.
234
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,868
This is Bobby Wheeler.
235
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:05,167
Uh, no, uh...
that's okay, you know.
236
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:09,868
Right. I-I-I, uh...
I appreciate the call, really.
237
00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:14,067
( sighing )
238
00:10:25,067 --> 00:10:28,067
I didn't get the part, Hamlet.
239
00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:41,033
Here are my
bookings, Louie.
240
00:10:41,067 --> 00:10:42,534
( barking )
241
00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:44,033
( laughing )
242
00:10:44,067 --> 00:10:46,033
That's a good Hamlet.
243
00:10:46,067 --> 00:10:47,200
That's good, Hamlet.
244
00:10:47,234 --> 00:10:48,267
Hey, Louie... Louie...
245
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:49,434
for God's sake, man,
it's my turn.
246
00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:50,501
Let me have him, huh?
247
00:10:50,534 --> 00:10:52,868
All right, All right.
248
00:10:52,901 --> 00:10:54,901
I'll let you have him,
249
00:10:54,934 --> 00:10:57,467
but only 'cause your dreams
are crashing around you.
250
00:10:57,501 --> 00:10:58,801
Thanks.
251
00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:00,234
Good boy.
252
00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:01,767
Good boy. Yeah.
253
00:11:01,801 --> 00:11:05,400
( groans )
254
00:11:05,434 --> 00:11:07,968
Hey, Bobby, listen,
don't worry about it.
255
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,300
Everything's going
to be okay.
256
00:11:10,334 --> 00:11:12,801
Will you stop talking
to him like that, Elaine?
257
00:11:12,834 --> 00:11:14,567
How is everything be okay?
258
00:11:14,601 --> 00:11:16,133
Look, I don't know
much about acting,
259
00:11:16,167 --> 00:11:18,067
but what I do know is,
if you want a good job
260
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,567
you got to go
stand in line.
261
00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:23,534
If you want to find a good job
acting, find a line to stand in.
262
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:26,067
Bobby, you're
not going to get anywhere
263
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,601
sitting here
feeling sorry for yourself.
264
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,667
BOBBY:
Damn it, Alex, you're right.
265
00:11:31,701 --> 00:11:33,767
There's still 14 hours to gobefore midnight.
266
00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:36,834
I'm gonna knock on every doorin New York if I have to.
267
00:11:36,868 --> 00:11:38,200
I don't care what it is--
268
00:11:38,234 --> 00:11:40,601
bit part, commercial, walk-on--
269
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:42,601
but I'm going to get something.
270
00:11:46,801 --> 00:11:47,767
Hi, Tom.
271
00:11:47,801 --> 00:11:48,767
Hi, Bobby.
272
00:11:48,801 --> 00:11:49,934
Oh, gee, thanks a lot.
273
00:11:49,968 --> 00:11:51,834
I can't tell you how much
I appreciate it. Really.
274
00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:52,868
Oh, don't mention it.
275
00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:53,868
Now, it's just a lucky thing
276
00:11:53,901 --> 00:11:55,367
that you happened
to come by today.
Yeah.
277
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,367
Now, look, Bobby, you do
understand that the director
278
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,300
is doing the casting
on the commercial.
279
00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:00,801
I can't influence him
for you.
280
00:12:00,834 --> 00:12:02,167
Yeah, of course,
but, you know,
281
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,868
any tips on how I might
be able to catch his eye?
282
00:12:04,901 --> 00:12:07,567
Just, uh, be yourself.
283
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,400
I better go rehearse a little.
Okay.
284
00:12:17,467 --> 00:12:19,067
MAN:
Tom?
285
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:30,000
Tom, okay, I'm ready.
286
00:12:30,033 --> 00:12:31,868
Everybody, everybody,
287
00:12:31,901 --> 00:12:33,534
this is Peter Nicholson
our director.
288
00:12:33,567 --> 00:12:34,767
Thank you.
289
00:12:34,801 --> 00:12:35,901
Okay, now, I'm sure
you're all familiar
290
00:12:35,934 --> 00:12:37,234
with this commercial.
291
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:39,400
I'd like Tom over here.
Yeah.
292
00:12:39,434 --> 00:12:42,167
And I'd like you all to form
a loose semicircle behind him
293
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,033
with your backs
towards him, please.
294
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,033
Okay?
295
00:12:45,067 --> 00:12:46,534
Now I will cue Tom
296
00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:50,033
and I want you
to react naturally for me, okay?
297
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:52,067
And... Tom.
298
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:56,567
"My broker is EF Hutton,
and EF Hutton says... "
299
00:12:59,901 --> 00:13:01,100
PETER:
Great!
300
00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:02,133
Okay, thank you.
301
00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:03,701
We'll be in touch.
302
00:13:08,234 --> 00:13:09,400
Thank you.
303
00:13:10,434 --> 00:13:13,400
Uh... Tom,
h-how did I do?
304
00:13:13,434 --> 00:13:16,133
You did fine, just fine,
Bobby, really.
305
00:13:16,167 --> 00:13:18,067
You, uh, think I got a shot?
306
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:20,000
Yeah, you got a shot!
307
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,767
Gees, thanks, Tom.
308
00:13:43,734 --> 00:13:45,133
( chimes tinkling )
309
00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:46,133
I'll be right there in a minute.
310
00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:47,601
I'll be right there,
right there.
311
00:13:47,634 --> 00:13:49,100
( chimes tinkling )
312
00:13:49,133 --> 00:13:50,934
All right, coming, coming.
313
00:13:50,968 --> 00:13:52,434
Hey, come on in.
314
00:13:52,467 --> 00:13:53,934
Hey, did you get the commercial?
315
00:13:53,968 --> 00:13:55,434
Hey, did you get
your commercial?
316
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:56,934
Just wait
a minute.
317
00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:59,367
Are you going
to tell us or not?
318
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,367
Well, wait till
everybody's inside.
319
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,734
ELAINE:
Did you get it?
320
00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:04,968
I didn't get it!
321
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:05,901
( all cheering )
322
00:14:05,934 --> 00:14:06,901
What?
323
00:14:06,934 --> 00:14:08,434
What?
324
00:14:08,467 --> 00:14:10,267
So what are we
celebrating, then?
325
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:11,367
Oh. Well...
326
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,868
My first acting job.
327
00:14:12,901 --> 00:14:14,601
Oh...
328
00:14:14,634 --> 00:14:16,400
You got your first
acting job?
329
00:14:16,434 --> 00:14:17,534
Not yet!
330
00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:19,100
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
331
00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:20,601
What?
332
00:14:20,634 --> 00:14:23,334
What is this, some kind
of a new party game here?
333
00:14:23,367 --> 00:14:25,767
Hey, it's okay
that I didn't get a job,
334
00:14:25,801 --> 00:14:27,667
because I'm going to get one.
335
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:28,734
( cheering )
336
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:29,834
Wait a minute.
Are you sure?
337
00:14:29,868 --> 00:14:31,200
Oh, positive.
338
00:14:31,234 --> 00:14:32,200
( soft cheering )
339
00:14:32,234 --> 00:14:35,133
And it's gonna be
before midnight tonight.
340
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:36,467
Come on,
I'll tell you
all about it.
341
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:37,567
Let's everybody
have a drink.
342
00:14:37,601 --> 00:14:38,767
Yeah, let's have a drink.
343
00:14:38,801 --> 00:14:40,601
Hey, Latka, come on.
Let's go.
Come on, come on.
344
00:14:40,634 --> 00:14:42,033
( mumbling )
345
00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,901
Okay, all right,
somebody make a toast
346
00:14:43,934 --> 00:14:45,367
and we're set.
Okay, um...
347
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,767
Toast, toast.
348
00:14:46,801 --> 00:14:48,033
Eh...
349
00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:53,300
( speaking native language )
350
00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:54,868
No, no.
351
00:14:54,901 --> 00:14:57,434
Everybody must do toast.
352
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:01,534
( all speaking native language )
353
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,467
No, no, no, no.
354
00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:05,534
( speakingnative language )
355
00:15:05,567 --> 00:15:07,367
( all repeating )
356
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,801
No, no, no.
357
00:15:08,834 --> 00:15:10,434
( changing words )
358
00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:13,634
Latka, if you don't mind,
I'll make the toast.
359
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:16,400
To Bobby's new job.
360
00:15:16,434 --> 00:15:17,567
Hear, hear.
361
00:15:17,601 --> 00:15:19,501
Ni-nice toast.
362
00:15:20,934 --> 00:15:23,200
Okay, come on, come on.
Everybody, sit down.
363
00:15:23,234 --> 00:15:25,467
Yeah, come on.
Okay.
364
00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:27,767
ELAINE:
Well, Bobby,
why don't you just tell us
365
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:29,000
about the job
you're going to get.
366
00:15:29,033 --> 00:15:30,701
Oh, well...
367
00:15:30,734 --> 00:15:33,434
When I found out I didn't get
the commercial this morning
368
00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:34,701
I really started hustling.
369
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,901
I went into every
casting office in this town.
370
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:38,667
Some guys even
had me read for parts, you know?
371
00:15:38,701 --> 00:15:41,334
And that's pretty good when
you're going in cold, you know.
372
00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:42,567
Yeah, I'll say.
373
00:15:42,601 --> 00:15:43,601
Who am I kidding?
374
00:15:43,634 --> 00:15:45,200
That's great when
you're going in cold!
375
00:15:45,234 --> 00:15:47,400
And some of them even told me
that I was in the running.
376
00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:49,400
So one of them
should come through, right?
377
00:15:49,434 --> 00:15:50,968
Sure.
378
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,234
I'm gonna get a call on my phone
before midnight tonight
379
00:15:53,267 --> 00:15:54,901
when the three years are up,
380
00:15:54,934 --> 00:15:56,767
and I'm not going to have
to give up acting.
381
00:15:56,801 --> 00:15:59,200
Oh, you know, it's just so great
382
00:15:59,234 --> 00:16:00,667
when you know it
in your heart, man.
383
00:16:00,701 --> 00:16:02,067
You don't have
to sweat it anymore.
384
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,634
( soft agreements )
385
00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:05,300
Well, maybe somebody
is going to call you, Bobby,
386
00:16:05,334 --> 00:16:07,200
but how do you know they're
gonna call before midnight?
387
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:09,033
Well, that's simple logic.
388
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:11,667
You see, when you're
good at something
389
00:16:11,701 --> 00:16:14,534
you end up doing it.
390
00:16:14,567 --> 00:16:15,901
Now, I'm not going
to end up acting
391
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:18,434
unless I get a phone call
before midnight. So...
392
00:16:18,467 --> 00:16:20,133
I'm gonna get a call
before midnight.
393
00:16:23,534 --> 00:16:24,901
Isn't it wonderful?
394
00:16:24,934 --> 00:16:28,434
I mean, so what if he
doesn't get a call tonight?
395
00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:29,901
He's feeling really
great right now.
396
00:16:29,934 --> 00:16:32,234
Yeah. So what if you're
falling off the cliff?
397
00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:34,334
The view is wonderful
on the way down.
398
00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:35,667
What does that mean?
399
00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:37,000
Somebody better tell this guy
400
00:16:37,033 --> 00:16:39,167
that he's setting himself up
for too big a fall.
401
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,367
Alex, don't.
402
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,968
Sure. We all leave here
at 11:59
403
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,234
with a song in our heart,
404
00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:44,868
and hope we don't
hear the thud.
405
00:16:44,901 --> 00:16:46,067
I just don't think
it's appropriate
406
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:47,334
right now.
407
00:16:47,367 --> 00:16:49,667
Hey, uh, what are you guys
talking about?
408
00:16:49,701 --> 00:16:51,067
Nothing. Alex
is just getting
a little nervous.
409
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:52,834
Now come on, Elaine.
I got to tell him
what I'm thinking.
410
00:16:52,868 --> 00:16:53,968
I'm his friend.
411
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:54,968
Hey, don't worry, Alex.
412
00:16:55,033 --> 00:16:56,033
I just explained to you
413
00:16:56,067 --> 00:16:58,200
why I'm gonna get the call
before midnight, right?
414
00:16:58,234 --> 00:16:59,167
Yeah, yeah, I know--
415
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,467
because you're
so good at acting.
416
00:17:00,501 --> 00:17:01,634
Exactly.
417
00:17:01,667 --> 00:17:03,200
Great actors get jobs.
418
00:17:03,234 --> 00:17:04,567
I'm a great actor.
419
00:17:04,601 --> 00:17:06,934
Bobby, we got
to be rational here.
420
00:17:06,968 --> 00:17:07,968
I am being rational.
421
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,067
I'm good.
422
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,434
Good people do what
they're good at and I'm good.
423
00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:12,033
Bobby...
424
00:17:12,067 --> 00:17:13,234
I got to act, Alex,
425
00:17:13,267 --> 00:17:14,334
because I'm good.
426
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,467
Bobby, listen...
427
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:16,634
I'm good!
428
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:18,200
Look, just because
someone doesn't call you
429
00:17:18,234 --> 00:17:19,234
by midnight doesn't mean...
430
00:17:19,267 --> 00:17:21,100
The only way that
phone's not gonna ring
431
00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:22,200
before midnight, Alex,
432
00:17:22,234 --> 00:17:23,834
is if I'm not good enough.
433
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:25,367
And you're not going to tell
me...
434
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,834
Maybe you're not that good.
435
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,067
Yet.
436
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,234
Doesn't mean that
437
00:17:32,267 --> 00:17:33,868
with a little more experience,
you couldn't get there.
438
00:17:33,901 --> 00:17:35,133
All right, Just stop it.
All right?
439
00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:36,300
Now you've said
what you had to say.
440
00:17:36,334 --> 00:17:37,367
Now let me talk, all right?
441
00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:42,567
Well...
442
00:17:42,601 --> 00:17:45,467
When I was six years old,
Alex...
443
00:17:45,501 --> 00:17:47,701
my father died,
444
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,968
and I never had
any older brothers.
445
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:54,634
Had a couple of older sisters,
but, uh...
446
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:56,000
till I met you
447
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:59,033
I don't think there was
ever a man in my life
448
00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,968
that I felt was on my side.
449
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,033
I mean, I had lots
of friends and everything,
450
00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:05,334
but I always felt
451
00:18:05,367 --> 00:18:07,701
there was something special
between you and me.
452
00:18:07,734 --> 00:18:11,167
And you
knew that, Alex.
453
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,067
You knew how I...
how I looked up to you
454
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:17,534
and respected you,
and counted on you.
455
00:18:17,567 --> 00:18:19,067
Oh, come on, Bobby...
456
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:21,267
Please, just...
let me finish all right?
457
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:25,200
What you just said just now--
458
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:29,267
I mean, it would have been okay
coming from a friend,
459
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:32,000
but not from somebody
I felt about
460
00:18:32,033 --> 00:18:34,601
the way I feel about you.
461
00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:39,033
I don't know
how to tell you, I...
462
00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:41,234
you just hurt
me now, Alex...
463
00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:43,334
Except to say that...
464
00:18:43,367 --> 00:18:45,701
it feels like, uh...
465
00:18:45,734 --> 00:18:49,400
like my father just died again.
466
00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:50,868
Oh, come on, Bobby.
467
00:18:50,901 --> 00:18:53,033
No, it's a little
late for that, man.
468
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:55,000
I needed you
and you let me down.
469
00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:56,467
I needed you, Alex.
470
00:18:56,501 --> 00:18:58,534
Bobby, Alex is only
trying to...
471
00:18:58,567 --> 00:18:59,934
You stay out of
this, Elaine!
472
00:18:59,968 --> 00:19:02,667
It's between
Alex and me.
473
00:19:02,701 --> 00:19:04,367
There's only one thing
474
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,868
that I want
from you right now, Alex.
475
00:19:06,901 --> 00:19:10,200
And that's for you
to get out of here.
476
00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:13,868
( voice breaking ):
I don't want to see you again.
477
00:19:13,901 --> 00:19:15,968
I don't want to talk to you.
478
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,234
I don't want to know you, man!
479
00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:20,000
Bobby...
480
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:21,501
All right, come on,
all right?
481
00:19:21,534 --> 00:19:22,801
Just get out, all right?!
482
00:19:22,834 --> 00:19:24,367
Just get the hell
out of here!
483
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:33,734
You still say I'm
not such a good actor?
484
00:19:47,901 --> 00:19:50,100
Hey, that
was something.
485
00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:51,968
( laughing )
486
00:19:53,968 --> 00:19:56,834
You bastard.
487
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:05,000
Now, baby, ring.
488
00:20:05,033 --> 00:20:07,868
Come on, ring.
489
00:20:07,901 --> 00:20:10,367
Blap. Blap.
490
00:20:14,734 --> 00:20:17,067
It's two minutes to 12:00,
Bobby.
491
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,934
Yeah, I know what time it is,
Elaine,
492
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:21,601
but please stop telling me
what time it is.
493
00:20:21,634 --> 00:20:23,334
I mean, it's going to ring
before midnight
494
00:20:23,367 --> 00:20:24,701
and then that's that, you know?
495
00:20:24,734 --> 00:20:27,367
I haven't said this yet,
but it's going to ring.
496
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,367
Okay, now hold it down
497
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,467
because it's, like,
only 40 seconds left.
498
00:20:32,501 --> 00:20:34,734
It's going to ring.
I just know it.
499
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,033
It's going to ring.
500
00:20:41,601 --> 00:20:43,868
Maybe your watch is off.
501
00:20:43,901 --> 00:20:45,234
No.
502
00:20:45,267 --> 00:20:49,601
It has to be by my watch.
503
00:20:49,634 --> 00:20:51,834
Ten, nine,
504
00:20:51,868 --> 00:20:55,601
eight, seven, six,
505
00:20:55,634 --> 00:20:57,934
five, four,
506
00:20:57,968 --> 00:20:59,434
three,
507
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:00,767
two,
508
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,267
one,
509
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,501
zero.
510
00:21:03,534 --> 00:21:04,734
Zero.
511
00:21:04,767 --> 00:21:06,133
Zero.
512
00:21:10,534 --> 00:21:11,801
Zero.
513
00:21:25,567 --> 00:21:30,033
I-I promised myself
that I'd quit acting...
514
00:21:30,067 --> 00:21:33,601
and get a job in three years.
515
00:21:33,634 --> 00:21:36,634
Well, it's...
it's been three years.
516
00:21:38,634 --> 00:21:40,000
Aw, what the hell.
517
00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:42,601
I'll give myself
another three years.
518
00:21:54,367 --> 00:21:55,934
MAN:
There he is.
519
00:21:55,968 --> 00:21:57,767
That's my dog.
520
00:21:57,801 --> 00:21:59,734
( clearing throat )
521
00:21:59,767 --> 00:22:00,968
Excuse me.
522
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,634
Hamlet, come over here.
523
00:22:02,667 --> 00:22:03,901
( Hamlet growls )
524
00:22:03,934 --> 00:22:05,334
I'll teach you
to growl at me.
525
00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:06,367
Wait till I get you home!
526
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,000
Officer, where
is this insane man
527
00:22:08,033 --> 00:22:09,100
going with my dog?
528
00:22:09,133 --> 00:22:10,100
Your dog?
529
00:22:10,133 --> 00:22:12,067
See, he admits it.
530
00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:14,234
Officer, this is my dog
and I'm taking him.
531
00:22:14,267 --> 00:22:17,000
Officer, this is my dog
and he's not going anywhere.
532
00:22:17,033 --> 00:22:18,868
Why don't you just
stand them at a distance
533
00:22:18,901 --> 00:22:20,033
and let them call the dog?
534
00:22:20,067 --> 00:22:22,200
Whichever one he goes
to gets the dog, right?
535
00:22:22,234 --> 00:22:23,868
This guy ought to run
for borough president.
536
00:22:23,901 --> 00:22:26,000
All right, Officer,
where do I stand?
537
00:22:26,033 --> 00:22:27,601
You stand over there.
Fine.
538
00:22:27,634 --> 00:22:28,968
Where do I stand?
539
00:22:29,033 --> 00:22:31,000
And you stand over there.
540
00:22:36,534 --> 00:22:38,133
Sit, boy.
541
00:22:38,167 --> 00:22:40,400
Now, when I say so,
542
00:22:40,434 --> 00:22:42,300
I want you both
to call the dog's name.
543
00:22:42,334 --> 00:22:44,000
And whichever one he goes to,
that's the dog's owner,
544
00:22:44,033 --> 00:22:45,200
and that's that, okay?
545
00:22:45,234 --> 00:22:46,200
Okay.
546
00:22:46,234 --> 00:22:47,200
Okay.
547
00:22:47,234 --> 00:22:48,334
Okay.
548
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:49,734
Oh, one second.
549
00:22:58,300 --> 00:22:59,801
Huh?
550
00:23:02,968 --> 00:23:04,801
What was that all about?
551
00:23:04,834 --> 00:23:08,267
I just want to make sure
no one's carrying any meat.
552
00:23:11,701 --> 00:23:13,934
Okay, call the dog.
553
00:23:13,968 --> 00:23:14,934
Hamlet.
554
00:23:14,968 --> 00:23:15,934
Hamlet.
555
00:23:15,968 --> 00:23:16,934
Hamlet.
Hamlet, come here.
556
00:23:16,968 --> 00:23:17,968
Come over here,
Hamlet.
Come on, Hamlet.
557
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,000
Hamlet.
Hamlet.
558
00:23:19,033 --> 00:23:20,434
Hamlet, come over here.
559
00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:21,534
Come over here!
560
00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:22,634
Hamlet, come over here!
561
00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:23,734
( muttering )
562
00:23:23,767 --> 00:23:24,834
Come over here!
563
00:23:24,868 --> 00:23:26,234
Wait till I get you.
564
00:23:26,267 --> 00:23:27,334
Come over here.
565
00:23:27,367 --> 00:23:28,934
You come over here!
566
00:23:28,968 --> 00:23:30,934
Come over here
when I tell you.
567
00:23:30,968 --> 00:23:32,100
Come over here.
568
00:23:32,133 --> 00:23:33,300
( all sighing )
569
00:23:33,334 --> 00:23:35,100
Well, I guess
that's that.
570
00:23:35,133 --> 00:23:36,634
Hey, man,
why would he do that?
571
00:23:36,667 --> 00:23:38,501
Go with the guy
that beats him?
572
00:23:38,534 --> 00:23:39,667
( growling )
573
00:23:39,701 --> 00:23:41,300
MAN:
It's his dog!
It's his dog!
574
00:23:41,334 --> 00:23:42,834
It's his dog!
575
00:23:50,501 --> 00:23:53,234
( theme music playing )
576
00:24:17,534 --> 00:24:19,234
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
577
00:24:19,267 --> 00:24:20,434
( grunts )
37182
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