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1
00:00:52,367 --> 00:00:56,234
LOUIE ( over speaker ):
Resnick, you got cab 529.
2
00:00:56,267 --> 00:00:58,267
Capasso...
3
00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,267
cab 111.
4
00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:01,334
Come on, let's
get out of here
5
00:01:01,367 --> 00:01:02,634
and get some breakfast.
I'm hungry.
6
00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:03,767
Good idea.
Let's go.
7
00:01:03,801 --> 00:01:05,334
Hey, listen, Louie,
when Alex comes in
8
00:01:05,367 --> 00:01:07,033
would you just tell him
we're at Mario's?
9
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,200
He won't be in for a while.
10
00:01:09,234 --> 00:01:11,434
Hamill, 120.
11
00:01:11,467 --> 00:01:12,167
How come?
12
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,434
He got shot.
13
00:01:13,467 --> 00:01:15,601
What?!
De la
Grazzi...
14
00:01:15,634 --> 00:01:16,868
829.
What do you mean,
15
00:01:16,901 --> 00:01:18,000
he got shot, Louie?
16
00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:19,167
What happened?
17
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,200
Some guy robbed him
and shot him.
18
00:01:21,234 --> 00:01:22,868
Lucia, 338.
19
00:01:22,901 --> 00:01:25,000
For God's sakes,
Louie, where is he?
20
00:01:25,033 --> 00:01:26,701
Is he all right?
Is he alive?
21
00:01:26,734 --> 00:01:29,033
Last time I talked to him,
he was.
22
00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:30,901
They took him to Mt. Sinai.
23
00:01:30,934 --> 00:01:32,400
Liebowitz, 226.
24
00:01:32,434 --> 00:01:34,200
Louie, how can you just
sit there like that?
25
00:01:34,234 --> 00:01:35,968
I mean, come on!
Don't you care about Alex?
26
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,200
Aren't you worried about him?
27
00:01:37,234 --> 00:01:39,067
Of course I care about him.
28
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:41,567
What kind of heel
you think I am?
29
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,400
Drago, 829.
30
00:01:43,434 --> 00:01:44,868
Come on, let's go to
the hospital. Come on.
31
00:01:44,901 --> 00:01:45,968
( indistinct voices )
32
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,267
You're a
sick person.
33
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,868
JOHN:
Huh. Hey. What are
you doing here?
34
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,067
Huh?
Louie said
you got shot.
35
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:52,901
Yeah, I did.
36
00:01:52,934 --> 00:01:53,901
Well, are you okay?
37
00:01:53,934 --> 00:01:56,300
Huh?
Are you okay?
38
00:01:56,334 --> 00:01:58,601
Of course he's okay.
The bullet just nicked his ear.
39
00:01:58,634 --> 00:02:00,767
Yeah, it was just a scratch.
I'm fine, really.
40
00:02:01,801 --> 00:02:02,901
That's all?
41
00:02:02,934 --> 00:02:04,968
Oh, the doctor said that since
the gun went off
42
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,501
close to my ear,
that I might have
43
00:02:06,534 --> 00:02:08,467
a little trouble hearing
every now and then.
44
00:02:08,501 --> 00:02:10,067
But I don't seem
to notice anything.
45
00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:11,801
So, there's nothing else wrong?
46
00:02:11,834 --> 00:02:13,200
Huh? No, it didn't take long.
47
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,133
He just put a bandage here
and let me go.
48
00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:16,133
It's okay.
49
00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:17,834
Boy, you were
really lucky.
50
00:02:17,868 --> 00:02:19,467
I'll say.
BOBBY:
Yeah.
51
00:02:19,501 --> 00:02:20,400
What?
52
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,734
Boy, you were
really lucky.
53
00:02:26,901 --> 00:02:27,901
I'll say.
54
00:02:27,934 --> 00:02:29,133
Oh.
55
00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:30,234
Yeah.
56
00:02:31,267 --> 00:02:33,133
Yeah, yeah, it
was really crazy.
57
00:02:33,167 --> 00:02:34,501
You know, I-I just let
this guy off,
58
00:02:34,534 --> 00:02:36,367
and all of a sudden,
he sticks a gun in my face.
59
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,067
Oh...
He asked me to give
him all my money.
60
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:40,067
I told him that most of it
was locked in a strongbox
61
00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:41,133
and I didn't have the key.
62
00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:42,534
He didn't buy that.
63
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:44,300
So, uh... then I heard him
cock the gun.
64
00:02:44,334 --> 00:02:46,934
I mean, I really got frightened.
I didn't know what to do.
65
00:02:46,968 --> 00:02:49,367
So, I stepped on the gas,
the gun went off, and, zing.
66
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,200
You know.
That is scary.
67
00:02:51,234 --> 00:02:53,367
Boy, you read about these things
happening all the time,
68
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,267
but you never think
it's going to happen to you.
69
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,968
What makes you think
it was a Jew?
70
00:03:03,734 --> 00:03:06,367
Oh, uh, just a hunch.
71
00:03:07,868 --> 00:03:10,400
Well, listen, I-I'm going
to go home and get some sleep.
72
00:03:10,434 --> 00:03:11,834
I'll see you guys later, okay?
73
00:03:11,868 --> 00:03:13,133
Okay. Alex?
Yeah, take it
easy, man.
74
00:03:13,167 --> 00:03:14,601
You know what?
Don't come in tomorrow.
75
00:03:14,634 --> 00:03:15,667
I mean, why don't you just
76
00:03:15,701 --> 00:03:17,133
take a couple days off?
77
00:03:17,167 --> 00:03:18,567
You know, rest, relax.
78
00:03:18,601 --> 00:03:20,534
Oh, thanks.
I got them on sale.
79
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:21,901
You like them?
80
00:03:22,901 --> 00:03:24,067
Huh?
Alex?
81
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:26,100
Yeah?
Why don't you take
a couple days off?
82
00:03:26,133 --> 00:03:28,367
I mean, an experience
like this has got to
have an effect on you.
83
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:29,801
No, no, no, no.
I'm fine, Elaine.
84
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,467
I really am.
You know the old saying--
85
00:03:31,501 --> 00:03:33,734
you fall off a horse, you
got to get right back on.
86
00:03:33,767 --> 00:03:35,968
Yeah, but I don't know
if the same old saying applies
87
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,200
to getting shot
off a horse.
88
00:03:37,234 --> 00:03:39,334
Oh, Elaine, I'm okay.
Really, I'm okay.
Believe me.
89
00:03:39,367 --> 00:03:41,567
Hey-hey, Alex, did you
get a good look
90
00:03:41,601 --> 00:03:43,000
at the guy
who shot you?
91
00:03:43,033 --> 00:03:44,767
Oh, all I saw
was his big gun.
92
00:03:44,801 --> 00:03:47,767
Oh, yeah, he had a word
tattooed across his fist--
93
00:03:47,801 --> 00:03:49,934
"kill."
94
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:53,133
Never, never pick up
95
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:55,567
any people with tattoos.
96
00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:56,901
That's a
cardinal rule.
97
00:03:56,934 --> 00:04:01,334
They're all morons,
maniacs and lowlifes.
98
00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,567
Hey, Louie, I got a tattoo.
99
00:04:03,601 --> 00:04:05,901
Oh, yeah, and losers.
100
00:04:14,567 --> 00:04:17,400
LOUIE ( over dispatch ):
Hey, Alex.
101
00:04:17,434 --> 00:04:19,033
Yeah, Louie?
102
00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:20,701
You all right?
103
00:04:20,734 --> 00:04:22,033
Yeah, sure, Louie.
104
00:04:22,067 --> 00:04:23,367
Are you certain?
105
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,868
No, it's not
hurting a bit.
106
00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:27,534
I'm okay.
107
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:30,267
Look, Alex, I know you must be
feeling a little nervous
108
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:32,267
after what happened last night,
109
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:35,033
so I don't want you
to feel any pressure.
110
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:37,968
Don't pick up anybody
who don't look right to you
111
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,667
and stay out of
the bad neighborhoods.
112
00:04:40,701 --> 00:04:43,701
If you don't book so good,
it don't matter to me.
113
00:04:43,734 --> 00:04:46,067
Well, thanks, Louie.
114
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:49,000
All right, Nardo,
I read your crummy speech.
115
00:04:49,033 --> 00:04:50,934
Now where's my five dollars?
116
00:04:52,267 --> 00:04:55,300
Uh, look, Elaine, Elaine,
please don't worry about me.
117
00:04:55,334 --> 00:04:57,334
It's no big deal, huh?
118
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:02,367
MAN:
Taxi!
119
00:05:04,701 --> 00:05:06,534
Sorry, off duty.
120
00:05:07,868 --> 00:05:09,567
I'll pick up the next one.
121
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,000
MAN #2:
Cab!
122
00:05:12,701 --> 00:05:16,300
Next one that doesn't have
a safety pin through his nose.
123
00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:21,400
MAN #3:
Taxi!
124
00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:30,367
Good evening, Father.
125
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,868
Front Street
by Pier Six, please.
126
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,634
What church is down there?
127
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:36,801
I don't know.
128
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,634
I-I don't think there is one.
129
00:05:39,901 --> 00:05:42,534
That's a pretty desolate
area at night.
130
00:05:42,567 --> 00:05:44,734
Guess you must have
your reasons
131
00:05:44,767 --> 00:05:46,200
for going there, huh?
132
00:05:46,234 --> 00:05:48,067
Uh-huh.
133
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,200
You seem sort of, uh,
young to be a priest.
134
00:05:54,234 --> 00:05:55,701
You been one long?
135
00:05:55,734 --> 00:05:56,934
Uh-uh.
136
00:06:00,267 --> 00:06:02,501
Uh, Louie, this is
Alex, listen...
137
00:06:02,534 --> 00:06:05,200
I'm busy!
Call back in an hour.
138
00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:08,000
That's my dispatcher.
139
00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:11,067
We keep in constant contact
here, you know.
140
00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:20,234
( chuckling nervously )
141
00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:23,734
You know... say, a couple of
guys down at the garage and I
142
00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:26,067
were having this little
argument, you know.
143
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:29,234
Maybe you can clear it up
for me, uh, Father.
144
00:06:29,267 --> 00:06:31,334
Um... yeah, we had
this big fight
145
00:06:31,367 --> 00:06:35,000
about who the 12 Apostles were,
and, uh, I figured, uh...
146
00:06:35,033 --> 00:06:37,767
you being a priest,
why, you'd know, right?
147
00:06:37,801 --> 00:06:40,367
You had a fight
over the 12 Apostles?
148
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,767
( laughs )
149
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:43,267
Yeah.
150
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:45,734
I bet you could
rattle off their names
151
00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:46,801
in nothing flat.
152
00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:48,934
Would you do that
for me, Father?
153
00:06:48,968 --> 00:06:52,400
Rattle them off in nothing flat?
154
00:06:52,434 --> 00:06:55,634
I suppose so,
if you like.
155
00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:57,167
Uh, let's see...
156
00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,734
uh, Peter, Matthew,
Judas, Andrew...
157
00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:04,100
James the younger,
James the elder,
158
00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:06,501
Bartholomew... Simon...
159
00:07:06,534 --> 00:07:08,000
That's eight.
160
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,000
John.
161
00:07:11,033 --> 00:07:13,634
Do you really need
to know this?
162
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,434
It would mean
a lot to me
163
00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:18,067
and the guys at
the garage... Father.
164
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,734
Thomas and Jude.
165
00:07:20,767 --> 00:07:23,200
One more.
166
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,133
Did I say Andrew?
167
00:07:25,167 --> 00:07:27,367
Yeah, you said Andrew already.
168
00:07:28,534 --> 00:07:30,200
Well, it's not Sneezy.
169
00:07:34,601 --> 00:07:38,067
No, I don't think
it is Sneezy.
170
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:41,234
I'm sorry,
I don't remember.
171
00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:43,801
( tires squeal )
172
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,467
All right, get
out of the cab!
What?
173
00:07:45,501 --> 00:07:47,234
I said get out of the cab!
Get out of the cab!
174
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,033
Try it on some other sucker.
Get out of here...
175
00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:50,534
I'll call the cops!
I'll call the cops!
176
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:53,100
( engine revving )
177
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,000
Wow, that was a close one.
178
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,434
Boy, that's really something.
179
00:08:12,467 --> 00:08:13,801
Everybody's
totally paranoid
180
00:08:13,834 --> 00:08:15,701
after what happened
to Alex last night.
181
00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:18,000
They're all stealing
Latka's tools for weapons.
182
00:08:18,033 --> 00:08:19,000
It's crazy.
183
00:08:19,033 --> 00:08:20,334
What'd you get?
184
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,534
A wrench.
185
00:08:22,734 --> 00:08:24,100
Uh, in my opinion,
186
00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:26,167
the best weapon is
reasonable communication.
187
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,934
The tongue is mightier
than the sword.
188
00:08:27,968 --> 00:08:31,367
Talk like that's a good way
to get your tongue cut off.
189
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:32,634
I heard about this guy once
190
00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:35,100
who faked a heart attack
while he was getting mugged.
191
00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:36,300
Scared the mugger off.
192
00:08:36,334 --> 00:08:37,367
You know, I could do that.
193
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,567
Uh, you'd have to be
pretty convincing.
194
00:08:39,601 --> 00:08:40,901
Hey, I'm an actor, man.
195
00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:43,234
You know, I can convince anybody
of anything, you know.
196
00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:45,667
Yeah?
Yeah, you want to see
a heart attack?
197
00:08:45,701 --> 00:08:47,234
ELAINE:
Yeah.
198
00:08:47,267 --> 00:08:49,100
All right.
Okay, heart attack.
199
00:08:51,701 --> 00:08:53,133
( gulps )
200
00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:54,267
Oh...
201
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:57,400
( gasping )
202
00:09:00,767 --> 00:09:02,534
What's the matter
with you?
203
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,901
( gasping ):
I'm having a heart attack.
204
00:09:04,934 --> 00:09:06,033
Well, have it somewheres else.
205
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,501
I could've tripped
and broke my neck.
206
00:09:14,868 --> 00:09:16,834
See? I convinced him.
207
00:09:16,868 --> 00:09:18,801
Yeah.
Play some rummy?
208
00:09:18,834 --> 00:09:19,834
Yeah. Let me get my...
209
00:09:19,868 --> 00:09:21,000
Hi, Alex.
210
00:09:21,033 --> 00:09:22,033
Hey, Alex, how's
your ear?
211
00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:23,601
How do you feel?
212
00:09:23,634 --> 00:09:25,667
( indistinct voices )
213
00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:31,701
You booked
absolutely nothing?
214
00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:34,367
That's not too good, Alex.
215
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:35,934
I quit.
216
00:09:35,968 --> 00:09:37,801
You're not used to criticism,
are you?
217
00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:42,868
Look, Louie, I had a lot of time
to think about this last night.
218
00:09:42,901 --> 00:09:45,767
I see you had a lot of time.
219
00:09:45,801 --> 00:09:47,367
I don't want
to drive a cab anymore.
220
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,601
Alex... Alex!
221
00:09:48,634 --> 00:09:49,968
Huh?
222
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,367
Come in here.
223
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,501
What do you want?
224
00:09:52,534 --> 00:09:53,567
Come over here.
225
00:09:56,567 --> 00:09:58,367
What are you
talking about?
226
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,534
You can't quit.
227
00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:01,133
You're my best booker.
228
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,968
Louie, I almost got
killed the other night.
229
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,334
One guy out of a city
of eight million
230
00:10:06,367 --> 00:10:09,067
tries to blow your brains out,
231
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,934
you want to make
a federal case out of it.
232
00:10:11,968 --> 00:10:14,100
Now look, Louie,
I'm serious. I quit.
233
00:10:20,434 --> 00:10:24,567
Rieger, you leave,
it's costing me a lot of money.
234
00:10:24,601 --> 00:10:26,334
Ah! But that doesn't matter.
235
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:28,133
Because who cares
about money
236
00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:30,934
when people's personal feelings
are involved?
237
00:10:30,968 --> 00:10:32,300
( chuckles )
238
00:10:32,334 --> 00:10:35,267
Now, how's this going to affect
your fellow drivers?
239
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:38,734
Next to me, they look up to you
more than anyone else in here.
240
00:10:38,767 --> 00:10:41,300
Now, how are you going to
break the news to them?
241
00:10:41,334 --> 00:10:43,968
I don't know. I thought I'd
do something like this.
242
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,300
Hey, everybody,
I'm quitting.
243
00:10:47,334 --> 00:10:48,300
What?!
What for?
244
00:10:48,334 --> 00:10:50,000
What are you
talking about
What do you mean?
245
00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:51,300
Well, it's very simple.
I'm scared.
246
00:10:51,334 --> 00:10:52,534
Well, sure,
you're a
little scared.
247
00:10:52,567 --> 00:10:54,200
I mean, after
what happened
the other night...
248
00:10:54,234 --> 00:10:56,634
No, John, I'm not
just a little scared.
249
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:58,734
I'm a little scared
of spiders and snakes,
250
00:10:58,767 --> 00:11:00,334
but driving a cab terrifies me.
251
00:11:00,367 --> 00:11:01,501
Well, what about what you said
252
00:11:01,534 --> 00:11:02,767
about climbing back
on the horse?
253
00:11:02,801 --> 00:11:05,367
Yeah, well, me and Old Paint
didn't book a dime last night.
254
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,968
Alex, listen, I can
really understand
255
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,367
what you're going through,
but quitting, man, is crazy.
256
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,667
Well, picking up
total strangers
257
00:11:10,701 --> 00:11:11,734
in the middle
of the night
258
00:11:11,767 --> 00:11:13,300
and driving
wherever they tell you to
259
00:11:13,334 --> 00:11:14,300
isn't exactly sane.
260
00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:15,667
Who does that?
261
00:11:17,133 --> 00:11:18,300
We do.
262
00:11:18,334 --> 00:11:19,567
Oh, yeah.
263
00:11:21,133 --> 00:11:23,267
Quitting!
264
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,868
The man is quitting.
265
00:11:25,901 --> 00:11:29,667
Well, maybe I'm using
the word "man" too loosely.
266
00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:34,300
You're a lily-livered,
yellow-bellied,
267
00:11:34,334 --> 00:11:38,334
namby-pamby,
mealymouth chicken!
268
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:42,968
You're right, Louie.
269
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:45,901
Can't reason with the guy.
270
00:11:45,934 --> 00:11:47,934
I still don't believe
what I'm hearing.
271
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:50,367
Alex, you've been driving
a cab for ten years.
272
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,567
What are you going to
do if you quit, huh?
273
00:11:52,601 --> 00:11:54,534
There are a lot of things
I could do.
274
00:11:54,567 --> 00:11:55,534
Yeah, like what?
275
00:11:55,567 --> 00:11:56,934
I used to be
an upholsterer.
276
00:11:56,968 --> 00:11:58,534
I could go back
to doing that.
277
00:11:58,567 --> 00:11:59,534
Oh, whoopie-doo.
278
00:11:59,567 --> 00:12:00,601
Tending bar--
279
00:12:00,634 --> 00:12:02,000
I did that for a while.
280
00:12:02,033 --> 00:12:04,167
Yeah, well, they get
held up, too, you know.
281
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,234
I was a waiter once.
That's a possibility.
282
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,868
Oh, exciting.
283
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:09,567
You could make cheese.
284
00:12:09,601 --> 00:12:11,501
Why would I want
to do that?
285
00:12:11,534 --> 00:12:13,067
Somebody has to.
286
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,367
Yeah, good point.
287
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,200
Look, I'm not worried
about finding a job.
288
00:12:19,234 --> 00:12:21,701
Yeah, but Alex,
you like driving.
289
00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:22,868
Well, who wouldn't?
290
00:12:22,901 --> 00:12:24,200
It's a great job.
291
00:12:24,234 --> 00:12:26,100
You're outside cruising
in the fresh air.
292
00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:28,267
You wear what you want,
you work when you want.
293
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:30,334
It's the kind of job
you can really make out
294
00:12:30,367 --> 00:12:31,567
without killing yourself.
295
00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:33,868
Yeah, somebody else
will do that for you.
296
00:12:33,901 --> 00:12:35,901
Look, I've thought about this
a lot,
297
00:12:35,934 --> 00:12:37,734
and I've come to the conclusion
298
00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:40,167
my life is worth more
than 55 cents a mile.
299
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,801
Now, I can't handle it anymore,
and that's it.
300
00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:45,400
Wow, we're all
really going
to miss you.
301
00:12:45,434 --> 00:12:47,367
Yeah, it's...
it's going to be
302
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,901
weird around here
without you.
303
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,267
It sure is.
304
00:12:52,767 --> 00:12:55,601
Hey, come on,
we'll keep in touch.
305
00:12:55,634 --> 00:12:57,734
I'll drop by, you'll drop by.
306
00:12:57,767 --> 00:12:59,033
I mean, you know how it goes.
307
00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:00,734
I mean, a guy leaves
the neighborhood,
308
00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:02,801
you see him more
than when he lived next door.
309
00:13:02,834 --> 00:13:03,801
You know that.
310
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:04,934
Yeah, sure.
311
00:13:04,968 --> 00:13:06,667
Yeah, we'll still
be tight, right?
312
00:13:06,701 --> 00:13:07,667
Sure.
313
00:13:07,701 --> 00:13:08,434
Right.
314
00:13:08,467 --> 00:13:09,834
Right.
315
00:13:09,868 --> 00:13:12,767
Okay.
316
00:13:12,801 --> 00:13:14,667
I, uh...
Oh...
317
00:13:34,367 --> 00:13:36,000
Please!
318
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:58,467
I'm going to hate
myself in the morning.
319
00:13:58,501 --> 00:14:00,567
Well, I guess I'll see you...
320
00:14:00,601 --> 00:14:01,634
Okay.
321
00:14:14,767 --> 00:14:16,767
( snaps fingers )
322
00:14:21,501 --> 00:14:23,033
Are we ready
to order?
323
00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:24,033
I think so.
324
00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:25,601
Uh, how's
your escargot?
325
00:14:25,634 --> 00:14:27,667
My car goes fine,
why do you ask?
326
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,567
Is there something wrong
with your hearing?
327
00:14:31,601 --> 00:14:33,234
I'm sorry,
we don't serve herring,
328
00:14:33,267 --> 00:14:34,934
but I can recommend
the escargot.
329
00:14:36,467 --> 00:14:38,434
Fine, uh, just
bring us those,
330
00:14:38,467 --> 00:14:40,968
and we'll decide
on our entree later.
331
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,501
Very good, sir.
332
00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:53,734
Wow, Alex said he was working
at a posh place,
333
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:56,334
but I never expected
anything like this.
334
00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:57,534
Good evening.
335
00:14:57,567 --> 00:15:00,167
Yes, reservations
for Dr. Wheeler.
336
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:04,100
Ah, yes, Dr. Wheeler,
party of four, yes?
337
00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:05,267
Yes.
338
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,267
Follow me... Doctor.
339
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:07,534
I'll show you
to your table.
340
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:10,868
Dr. Wheeler?
341
00:15:10,901 --> 00:15:13,000
Well, it's easier
to get reservations
342
00:15:13,033 --> 00:15:15,901
at joints like this
if they think
you're a doctor.
343
00:15:15,934 --> 00:15:19,467
So, uh, how'd that heart job
go this morning, Doc?
344
00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:21,601
Madame.
345
00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:24,434
Bon appetit.
346
00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:25,634
Merci.
347
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:26,534
Touch�.
348
00:15:28,534 --> 00:15:30,400
Will you stop trying
to embarrass me, huh?
349
00:15:30,434 --> 00:15:31,167
What did I do?
350
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,167
What do you...?
351
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,367
Hey, look at all
the silverware
352
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,868
they give you here.
Isn't this great?
353
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,434
Good evening.
354
00:15:38,467 --> 00:15:39,434
My name is Richard.
355
00:15:39,467 --> 00:15:41,167
I'll be serving you
this evening.
356
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,868
Are you the waiter
for this table?
357
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:43,934
Yes.
358
00:15:43,968 --> 00:15:45,868
Then we'd like to sit
somewhere else.
359
00:15:46,968 --> 00:15:48,033
Excuse me.
360
00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:49,968
Um, I'm sure
you're an excellent waiter.
361
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,534
However, we know another waiter
362
00:15:51,567 --> 00:15:54,033
from the establishment
at which he worked formerly.
363
00:15:54,067 --> 00:15:55,634
And, um,
Alex Rieger is his name.
364
00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:58,634
We would very much like
for him to serve us.
365
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,767
I hope you understand.
366
00:16:00,801 --> 00:16:03,367
Not entirely.
367
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:04,868
But I'll get him.
368
00:16:04,901 --> 00:16:06,601
Oh, thank you
so much.
369
00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:10,133
Why am I talking
like the Queen of England?
370
00:16:12,234 --> 00:16:13,534
Hey, you know, I've been
371
00:16:13,567 --> 00:16:15,567
to some pretty great places
in my life,
372
00:16:15,601 --> 00:16:17,300
but this place beats them all.
373
00:16:17,334 --> 00:16:18,601
There ain't even no gum
374
00:16:18,634 --> 00:16:19,601
stuck to this table.
375
00:16:19,634 --> 00:16:20,667
Will you put it...?
376
00:16:23,033 --> 00:16:25,167
Uh, good evening.
My name is Alex.
377
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:26,734
Hey, Alex!
Oh!
Hi, Alex!
378
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:28,601
You look
really terrific.
Do I? huh?
379
00:16:28,634 --> 00:16:30,834
Oh, yeah,
cummerbunds become you.
380
00:16:30,868 --> 00:16:32,501
Here, pull up
a chair.
381
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:33,901
Oh, no, thanks, Tony, I can't.
382
00:16:33,934 --> 00:16:35,434
I have six tables
to take care of.
383
00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:37,901
I have to be kind of mobile,
if you know what I mean.
384
00:16:37,934 --> 00:16:39,467
Well, we just thought
we'd stop by,
385
00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:41,167
you know, say hello,
and have a bite.
386
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,167
Yes, it's really great
to see you people.
387
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,434
Um, like me to get you
something to drink?
388
00:16:45,467 --> 00:16:46,634
Yeah, I'd love a brew.
389
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:48,467
Oh.
390
00:16:48,501 --> 00:16:49,801
So, how's it going?
391
00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:50,968
Very well, Tony.
Very well.
392
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,334
Listen, why don't I buy you
a bottle of wine, huh?
393
00:16:53,367 --> 00:16:54,334
What do you say?
394
00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:55,501
Oh...
Oh...
395
00:16:55,534 --> 00:16:57,167
Hey...
What do you like?
Red? White? Ros�?
396
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,334
White ros� would be great.
397
00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:04,968
Okay.
An excellent choice, Tony.
398
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,334
Yeah, and bring some peanuts.
399
00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:07,501
Right.
400
00:17:08,501 --> 00:17:10,634
I can't believe
Alex is doing this.
401
00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:12,801
It's hard to keep
a straight face.
402
00:17:12,834 --> 00:17:15,267
He seems to like it
here okay, huh?
403
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,167
Yeah.
404
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,000
Wow, he must be
cleaning up.
405
00:17:19,033 --> 00:17:22,801
15% of the price of a cup
of coffee is a great tip.
406
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,133
Hmm!
407
00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,267
Here we are.
408
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:27,400
Oh.
409
00:17:27,434 --> 00:17:28,100
Hmm?
410
00:17:28,133 --> 00:17:29,267
Whoo, that's nice, Alex.
411
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:30,767
Would you like me
to open it now?
412
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:32,801
No, don't bother,
we'll do it ourselves.
413
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,701
That's okay, Tony.
It's okay.
414
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,133
( chuckles )
415
00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:39,701
Alex?
Yes?
416
00:17:39,734 --> 00:17:42,567
Alex, is, uh, this really
awkward for you?
417
00:17:42,601 --> 00:17:45,868
What, you people coming here
and my having to wait on you?
418
00:17:45,901 --> 00:17:47,033
Uh-huh.
419
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,734
Yes, it's as awkward as hell.
420
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:51,234
Hey, would you feel
better if we left?
421
00:17:51,267 --> 00:17:52,400
Now, truth.
422
00:17:52,434 --> 00:17:54,033
Oh, come on, I'm just kidding.
423
00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:56,200
Hey, come on. You're my friends.
Don't be silly.
424
00:17:56,234 --> 00:17:59,467
Besides, I understand you people
are going to be great tippers.
425
00:17:59,501 --> 00:18:00,467
Hey, uh, Alex?
426
00:18:00,501 --> 00:18:01,567
Hmm?
427
00:18:01,601 --> 00:18:03,801
I think it's ladies first.
428
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,200
Oh.
429
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:06,968
Thanks for
your help, Tony.
430
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,334
WOMAN:
Waiter.
431
00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:11,701
Mmm.
432
00:18:11,734 --> 00:18:12,767
Mmm?
433
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,000
( whispers ):
It's wonderful.
434
00:18:14,033 --> 00:18:15,167
Waiter?
435
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,868
BOBBY:
Uh, I'd like
to propose a toast.
436
00:18:16,901 --> 00:18:18,200
Waiter.
437
00:18:18,234 --> 00:18:19,734
Will you keep
your drawers on, lady?
438
00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:20,868
The guy's got six tables.
439
00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:22,234
He can't be
everywhere at once.
440
00:18:27,634 --> 00:18:30,667
I just wanted some water.
441
00:18:30,701 --> 00:18:32,701
Listen, I'll be right back.
442
00:18:36,067 --> 00:18:38,033
You happy?
443
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,834
It's okay, Alex.
I took care of it.
444
00:18:41,868 --> 00:18:43,200
Oh, thank you.
445
00:18:45,033 --> 00:18:46,300
Uh... all right.
446
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,834
How are we?
447
00:18:47,868 --> 00:18:49,133
We're doing good.
448
00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:50,901
Hey, let's, uh,
have a toast.
449
00:18:50,934 --> 00:18:52,534
Oh, yeah, okay.
450
00:18:52,567 --> 00:18:54,200
Oh, yeah, anyway...
451
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,534
to our good
friend, Alex.
452
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:56,868
Oh, please.
453
00:18:56,901 --> 00:18:59,000
And one good
waiter, too,
if you ask me.
454
00:18:59,033 --> 00:19:00,334
ALL:
Hear, hear.
455
00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:02,100
Thank you,
thank you, folks.
456
00:19:02,133 --> 00:19:04,434
Okay, are we
ready to order?
457
00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:05,601
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
458
00:19:05,634 --> 00:19:07,467
Um, let's see,
I'm gonna st...
459
00:19:07,501 --> 00:19:10,434
I'll have
the spinach salad.
460
00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:12,067
Oh, listen, I'll
split one with you.
461
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:13,200
Just put extra
bacon bits
462
00:19:13,234 --> 00:19:14,501
on my half,
all right?
Okay.
463
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,934
Gee, it seems such
a shame not to order
464
00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:21,334
French food in a
French restaurant.
465
00:19:21,367 --> 00:19:22,601
Uh, tell me... uh,
466
00:19:22,634 --> 00:19:25,400
how are the potatoes
au gratin prepared?
467
00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:30,767
With cheese.
468
00:19:30,801 --> 00:19:33,300
Very interesting.
469
00:19:33,334 --> 00:19:35,367
That's what I
think I'll have--
470
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,567
potatoes au gratin,
with cheese.
471
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:41,767
What the heck.
Give me the potatoes au gratin--
472
00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:43,133
only without the cheese.
473
00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:47,767
Okay, let's see if
I've got this right, now.
474
00:19:47,801 --> 00:19:49,701
That's, uh, pheasant pate,
vichyssoise,
475
00:19:49,734 --> 00:19:51,200
endive salad, duck a l'orange
476
00:19:51,234 --> 00:19:53,367
chocolate mousse and espresso
all for four.
477
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,667
Alex, what are...?
478
00:19:54,701 --> 00:19:56,000
It's on me.
479
00:19:56,033 --> 00:19:58,467
Aw, Alex, we can't
let you do that.
480
00:19:58,501 --> 00:19:59,801
Are you kidding?
Listen, I make
481
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:02,000
almost twice as much here
as I did at the garage.
482
00:20:02,033 --> 00:20:04,100
Now, it's on me,
and that's all there is to it.
483
00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:08,133
Well, gee, I mean, like,
well... thanks.
484
00:20:08,167 --> 00:20:09,300
You're welcome.
485
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:11,434
ELAINE:
You know, Alex, uh...
486
00:20:11,467 --> 00:20:13,734
I guess we all came here tonight
sort of hoping
487
00:20:13,767 --> 00:20:15,767
it wasn't working out
for you as a waiter.
488
00:20:15,801 --> 00:20:18,267
And you know, maybe you'd come
back to the garage.
489
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,133
But I-I guess
there's no chance of that, huh?
490
00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:22,901
You know, strangely enough,
I was laying awake last night
491
00:20:22,934 --> 00:20:24,334
thinking about whether or not
492
00:20:24,367 --> 00:20:26,000
I should go back
to driving a cab.
493
00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:27,667
Really?
Great!
494
00:20:27,701 --> 00:20:30,067
Hold on. I said I was thinking
about it-- just thinking.
495
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,234
( groaning )
( groaning )
496
00:20:31,267 --> 00:20:32,834
I mean, you know,
I was trying to weigh
497
00:20:32,868 --> 00:20:34,200
what's good about being a waiter
498
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,067
against what's good
about being a cab driver.
499
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:37,234
You know, I, um...
500
00:20:37,267 --> 00:20:38,767
I do make
a lot more bread here.
501
00:20:38,801 --> 00:20:39,801
Oh...
Yeah.
502
00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:41,200
But on the other hand,
503
00:20:41,234 --> 00:20:43,634
being a cab driver,
I'm my own boss.
504
00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:45,734
I mean, nobody orders me around,
you know.
505
00:20:45,767 --> 00:20:47,868
Nobody goes like this to me.
506
00:20:47,901 --> 00:20:49,000
That's right.
Right.
507
00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:50,534
That's important.
Self-respect,
you know.
508
00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:51,667
However, on the other hand
509
00:20:51,701 --> 00:20:55,367
being a waiter,
nobody goes like this to me.
510
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,834
Oh, yeah, but
that's one in
a million.
511
00:20:56,868 --> 00:20:58,000
Big deal.
One time, you know?
512
00:20:58,033 --> 00:20:59,400
Of course, as a cab driver,
I can...
513
00:20:59,434 --> 00:21:00,767
I don't have to
dress up like this.
514
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,000
I mean, uh... I can wear what I
want, shave when I want.
515
00:21:03,033 --> 00:21:05,267
Yeah, you hate shaving.
Yeah...That's right.
516
00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:06,667
Besides, you
look pretty
fruity...
517
00:21:06,701 --> 00:21:09,100
Of course, the hours are really
much better here, you know.
518
00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:11,501
I get to go home at midnight,
and I sleep at night.
519
00:21:11,534 --> 00:21:13,000
( all groaning )
520
00:21:13,033 --> 00:21:15,400
But of course, you know, as a
cab driver, my time is my own.
521
00:21:15,434 --> 00:21:16,834
I mean, I feel like working,
I work.
522
00:21:16,868 --> 00:21:18,434
I don't feel like working,
I don't work.
523
00:21:18,467 --> 00:21:19,434
That's great.
That's right.
524
00:21:19,467 --> 00:21:21,267
Exactly why I took
the job...
You know something?
525
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:24,000
I do get great
gourmet meals here free.
526
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,534
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, so...
527
00:21:25,567 --> 00:21:28,234
But you know, the great thing
about being a cab driver?
528
00:21:28,267 --> 00:21:29,234
You can be yourself.
529
00:21:29,267 --> 00:21:31,434
I mean, you don't have
to smile at everybody.
530
00:21:31,467 --> 00:21:33,167
All they get
is the back of my head.
531
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,234
What I do with my face
is my own business.
532
00:21:35,267 --> 00:21:37,234
( all talking at once )
533
00:21:37,267 --> 00:21:38,634
So, you see what I mean?
534
00:21:38,667 --> 00:21:40,501
I mean, both have
their advantages,
535
00:21:40,534 --> 00:21:42,634
both have
their disadvantages.
536
00:21:42,667 --> 00:21:44,033
See what I mean?
537
00:21:44,067 --> 00:21:47,367
Yeah, but, Alex, you know,
you're forgetting one thing.
538
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,434
What's that?
539
00:21:48,467 --> 00:21:49,534
Friends.
540
00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:50,701
Oh.
541
00:21:50,734 --> 00:21:52,100
Yes.
542
00:21:52,133 --> 00:21:53,467
You're right, Bobby.
543
00:21:53,501 --> 00:21:57,067
I've made wonderful friends
here at the restaurant.
544
00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:58,467
( mocking laughter )
Joker!
545
00:21:58,501 --> 00:22:02,000
You see, so I say to myself,
what's it going to be?
546
00:22:02,033 --> 00:22:05,934
Waiter...
547
00:22:05,968 --> 00:22:07,300
cab driver.
548
00:22:07,334 --> 00:22:09,501
Waiter...
549
00:22:09,534 --> 00:22:11,501
cab driver...
550
00:22:11,534 --> 00:22:14,901
Alex, thank you.
Everything was excellent.
551
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,000
This is for you.
552
00:22:17,033 --> 00:22:19,634
Wow! A $20 tip.
553
00:22:26,367 --> 00:22:28,801
This is very depressing.
554
00:22:30,133 --> 00:22:32,534
It's okay, Alex.
We understand.
555
00:22:32,567 --> 00:22:34,367
No, because I just decided.
556
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:35,701
I'm a cab driver.
557
00:22:35,734 --> 00:22:37,734
( cheering, laughing )
558
00:22:43,667 --> 00:22:44,968
BOBBY:
Cabby Alex!
559
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,133
They love the appetizer.
560
00:22:56,234 --> 00:22:57,934
LOUIE ( over dispatch ):
Just remember, Alex.
561
00:22:57,968 --> 00:22:59,934
This is your first night back.
562
00:22:59,968 --> 00:23:02,834
Don't pick up anybody
who looks suspicious.
563
00:23:02,868 --> 00:23:05,100
Now, listen, Louie, it's
not going to work that way.
564
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:06,901
I'm going to drive the
way I always drive.
565
00:23:06,934 --> 00:23:08,968
Anybody who flags me,
I'm going to pick them up.
566
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,601
Anywhere they want
to go, that's fine.
567
00:23:10,634 --> 00:23:13,000
I mean, I'm going to go crazy
if I spend my life
568
00:23:13,033 --> 00:23:15,400
trying to figure out who's safe,
who isn't safe.
569
00:23:15,434 --> 00:23:17,033
Look, it's a dangerous business.
570
00:23:17,067 --> 00:23:18,901
I'll just have to live
with it, okay?
571
00:23:18,934 --> 00:23:20,300
Okay.
572
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,000
Sorry, off duty.
573
00:23:32,901 --> 00:23:34,501
Aw, what the heck.
574
00:23:36,434 --> 00:23:38,701
Might as well take a chance.
575
00:23:59,834 --> 00:24:02,567
( theme music playing )
576
00:24:26,834 --> 00:24:28,434
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
577
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:29,767
( grunts )
40207
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