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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,213 --> 00:00:24,913 (male announcer) In breaking news, the asteroid "WE2007" 2 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,480 now appears to have broken up under Jupiter's gravity, making earth impact more likely. 3 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,576 (female announcer) 2007 has entered the atmosphere 4 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,600 ( multi-lingual crosstalk ) 5 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:36,900 if the asteroid stays it's course, it will make impact with the United Kingdom within 24 hours... 6 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,508 the meteorite is on a collision course for London. 7 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,400 ( more multi-lingual crosstalk ) 8 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:45,900 it will hit an area across London... People across London and the Southeast have reported seeing a large meteor 9 00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:48,550 flashing across the sky. 10 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,933 (bystanders) it was this... really bright light, it looked - a meteorite... 11 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,999 but I don't know if you get them around here. 12 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,000 We can now confirm that a meteor has struck, 13 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,376 in Peckham, South London. a meteorite... impact... in the United Kingdom. 14 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,000 Specifically in England... London. 15 00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:03,237 Specifically, Peckham. 16 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:06,380 My dog was like, very wide-eyed, you know. 17 00:01:07,213 --> 00:01:10,880 It only ever gets that look when he, when he sees a bitch across the park. 18 00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:15,171 Or a meteorite, I know that now. - A man can be seen in the direct path of the meteor. 19 00:01:15,296 --> 00:01:18,176 A man was hit by a meteor today, as seen... extraordinary footage here 20 00:01:18,213 --> 00:01:21,171 A postman, Robert Kenner, has been struck by the meteorite. 21 00:01:21,296 --> 00:01:24,088 Robert Kenner, the man struck by a meteorite, 22 00:01:24,213 --> 00:01:27,338 has apparently disappeared from the hospital he was taken to. 23 00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:32,171 There are increasing number of reports of a flying man seen over Peckham 24 00:01:33,213 --> 00:01:36,796 More witnesses are going forward claiming to have seen a flying man in Peckham. 25 00:01:36,921 --> 00:01:40,338 Who is the flying man? - Bob from the depot, yeah. 26 00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:44,046 The may be a link, between the meteor strike, and the flying postman of Peckham. 27 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:49,071 He's been getting quicker, on his route, and the two things got all like... 28 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,700 Probably wrong... but I'm not. 29 00:01:50,796 --> 00:01:55,838 Footage emerged today of a man flying through the Shard. -Shit! Sorry! 30 00:01:55,963 --> 00:02:00,588 Causing thousands of pounds worth of damage. - We didn't go out looking for Bob, Bob came to us. 31 00:02:00,713 --> 00:02:04,713 He handed himself in... - Hey, Bob! - Hello mate! 32 00:02:04,838 --> 00:02:09,421 He no control over his powers - I see I've broken with these We had to train him up. 33 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,546 Flight Test One. 34 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,000 I don't know how to stop! 35 00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:16,991 The baby's alive! 36 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,600 Test the limits of his abilities. - Bob? Oh God! Oh, Jesus Christ, Oh! 37 00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:25,814 The flying postman from Peckham has been secluded inside the Ministry of defense for the last four months. 38 00:02:25,838 --> 00:02:29,088 Why are you doing that? - just a bit nervous. 39 00:02:29,421 --> 00:02:31,521 And he responded well... 40 00:02:33,338 --> 00:02:37,171 And when we perfected the system, Bob went out into the world. 41 00:02:37,846 --> 00:02:39,871 After months of speculation, 42 00:02:39,996 --> 00:02:45,296 the man who developed superpowers has been unveiled by the British government. And his name... is SuperBob. 43 00:02:45,796 --> 00:02:49,005 I am proud of him, and of the work we do. 44 00:02:59,463 --> 00:03:04,713 SuperBob will be working for the UK government, and the Ministry of Defense. 45 00:03:05,046 --> 00:03:09,421 The world will no longer be the same again. A Superhero... for the real world. 46 00:03:12,421 --> 00:03:15,255 It's funny what we get used to, isn't it? 47 00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:18,755 I mean... He can fly. 48 00:03:26,130 --> 00:03:27,330 SuperBob. 49 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,960 Name's a bit wank. 50 00:03:28,963 --> 00:03:33,796 It's arrogant, in a way but... looks like it stick him. 51 00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:48,171 Um, could you tell me your, uh... your name, and your... job? Please. 52 00:03:49,921 --> 00:03:52,171 My name is Teresa Maria Ford. 53 00:03:52,963 --> 00:03:57,088 I am the head of the emergency response / disaster unit. 54 00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:00,880 But you can't use any of that. 55 00:04:01,921 --> 00:04:06,088 I can use it? - You can't use any of it, no. - I can't use your name, even? - No. -Okay. 56 00:04:06,921 --> 00:04:12,338 You have - you - a very, very important job, as far as I understand. - Um-hm. 57 00:04:12,921 --> 00:04:17,380 Could you tell us a little bit about what that job involves? 58 00:04:17,505 --> 00:04:19,605 No. 59 00:04:20,713 --> 00:04:25,130 Would it be okay to ask you why you wanted to make this film? 60 00:04:25,255 --> 00:04:29,046 We feel that perhaps the public doesn't know the real Bob. 61 00:04:29,171 --> 00:04:35,046 And I - I just feel it's really our duty to let people know that Bob is 62 00:04:36,505 --> 00:04:39,671 Just a regular guy. Who can fly. 63 00:04:42,213 --> 00:04:47,838 Yes, I have two bills. I've got one from British Gas and one from you and, um 64 00:04:47,963 --> 00:04:52,630 Yes, I'm sure it's my fault I don't mind, it's just I wanted to... 65 00:04:56,588 --> 00:05:00,380 Um... can I call you back in a bit, please? Thank you. 66 00:05:00,505 --> 00:05:04,088 Hello, I'm John, we're making the film today. 67 00:05:04,213 --> 00:05:08,755 Is that today? - Yeah, yeah it's today. Theresa said you knew about it? 68 00:05:13,005 --> 00:05:15,005 Oh, no - Bob... 69 00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:18,180 Hi, I'm Bob, Bob... Can I - can I - Good morning. 70 00:05:18,305 --> 00:05:21,130 Just your normal voice is fine here, Bob. No, Bob... 71 00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:24,963 Good morning. - Just... - Good morning! - Just this... -Hey, Hey! -Bob, just wait! 72 00:05:25,088 --> 00:05:27,671 Thanks for having us. - You're welcome! 73 00:05:27,796 --> 00:05:32,255 Hi, I'm Bob. - Hey, Bob. - Hey, Doris. That's Doris, that's my cleaner... 74 00:05:32,380 --> 00:05:34,480 Have you done the sheets yet? 75 00:05:36,005 --> 00:05:39,921 Not yet. - then, can I start in the bathroom, please? 76 00:05:41,255 --> 00:05:43,963 Yep. Makes sense. 77 00:05:44,588 --> 00:05:50,713 'Kay, what is all this? - Um, they're making a film to show that I'm normal. 78 00:05:51,380 --> 00:05:53,480 Oh, good luck! 79 00:05:53,796 --> 00:05:56,088 This way? - Yeah, that's great. 80 00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:04,171 That's the way, right. 81 00:06:04,296 --> 00:06:06,396 Yep. 82 00:06:07,338 --> 00:06:10,838 May I ask you your name, and your job, please? 83 00:06:10,963 --> 00:06:15,588 You may. My name is Bob Kenner and I'm a civil servant. 84 00:06:16,130 --> 00:06:20,421 You don't say superhero? - We don't use that word. 85 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:23,421 I mean, you can use that word, but, I would... 86 00:06:23,671 --> 00:06:29,255 I mean, it's just a job and I have shifts just like anyone else. 87 00:06:29,630 --> 00:06:33,171 So, just talk me through from, from, You wake up, what happens? 88 00:06:34,963 --> 00:06:38,963 Well, I get up and, 89 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,100 I've a massive wee... 90 00:06:41,171 --> 00:06:44,588 A bomb goes off in Afghanistan, Boom! Chaos! 91 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:54,900 I'm leaving a gap here so if you want to put like, news footage of, you know, like a bomb, or chaos, 92 00:06:54,921 --> 00:06:58,588 or whatever, just to, just to jazz up, I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but 93 00:06:58,713 --> 00:07:01,838 I imagine this is probably just... pretty bleak. 94 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,800 This is an E-179. 95 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,800 This is to set up a temporary No Fly Zone, make sure that nothing bumps into me up there, 96 00:07:14,838 --> 00:07:19,546 which is actually quite important because there is a lot less room up there than you might think. 97 00:07:19,671 --> 00:07:24,463 Like I'm really, I'm really glad to be alive, I'm really glad to have been saved, but he's just a bit... 98 00:07:24,588 --> 00:07:26,688 I mean, sign your own fucking form. 99 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,100 This is a combined insurance. 100 00:07:29,255 --> 00:07:33,880 Eyewitnesses report that Kenner tried to get the baby to sign a form. 101 00:07:34,005 --> 00:07:36,755 He then panicked, and quickly flew off. 102 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,800 Temporary jurisdiction proposal. 103 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,200 We. like. order. 104 00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:43,713 An S12658P. 105 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:48,255 "I've got to fill out a form." Of course you have to fill out a form! 106 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,005 How is there going to be a record of it? 107 00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:54,046 How would you rate the experience out of ten? 108 00:07:54,171 --> 00:07:57,255 I mean, a solid six, you know. I mean, I didn't die. 109 00:07:58,296 --> 00:08:02,963 There is a lot happening - How stressful do you find your job? 110 00:08:03,088 --> 00:08:06,338 Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 111 00:08:06,546 --> 00:08:11,213 Are you with Eon or British Gas? - Um, why? 112 00:08:12,421 --> 00:08:17,171 Uh, I'm not taking sides or anything but I think I might have signed up to both of them by mistake. 113 00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,971 I'm with Southern Electric. 114 00:08:20,096 --> 00:08:24,080 Damn it. They came round last week, I said I didn't have time. 115 00:08:24,205 --> 00:08:27,546 Are they good? - Seem to be. - Damn it! 116 00:08:27,671 --> 00:08:31,880 Well, I was really excited to meet him, because, you know, he can fly, for starters, 117 00:08:32,005 --> 00:08:37,255 Which is brilliant, But take that away, and really, he's just a bit of a dullard. 118 00:08:37,505 --> 00:08:41,546 And it pains me to say that 'cause all my mates and me thought he he was fit before I met him. 119 00:08:41,671 --> 00:08:45,421 So I think the question that everybody wants to know is... 120 00:08:46,088 --> 00:08:48,630 Does SuperBob have a girlfriend? 121 00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:53,838 No, SuperBob does not have a girlfriend. 122 00:08:54,755 --> 00:09:00,255 Why is that? - Because SuperBob is very busy. 123 00:09:04,755 --> 00:09:06,855 This is Peckham. 124 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,213 Not the Ritz, but it's home. 125 00:09:11,296 --> 00:09:16,588 People say it's a bit stabby, but it's not actually. It's a bit, but it's not a lot. 126 00:09:16,713 --> 00:09:19,921 The named this one after me. It's sweet, really. 127 00:09:20,421 --> 00:09:22,521 Hello, mate. 128 00:09:24,088 --> 00:09:26,455 Yo, air support. - Yeah... 129 00:09:26,580 --> 00:09:28,930 That's the "Sun Do, Sun Don't". I call it that.. 130 00:09:29,055 --> 00:09:32,338 Full name is "Sun Do, Sun Don't, Sun Don't Mind if you Do At All". 131 00:09:32,463 --> 00:09:34,563 Just my little thing. 132 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:38,296 I mean I grew up in Peckham, these are my ends. 133 00:09:39,296 --> 00:09:43,046 Everyone's friendly. - SuperPrick! 134 00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:47,380 Except for Daren. From the Estate. 135 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,505 Not a fan. 136 00:09:51,546 --> 00:09:54,463 Almost definitely not his bike. 137 00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:05,505 This is my favorite thing to do. I only really get to do it on my day off. 138 00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:32,325 I mean it's... You know, it's, it's an honor to have him. 139 00:10:33,505 --> 00:10:35,605 Yeah. 140 00:10:44,421 --> 00:10:47,380 That was amazing! That was such a good one! 141 00:10:47,505 --> 00:10:50,880 They were so good they said we could finish early. That was amazing! 142 00:10:51,005 --> 00:10:53,630 It's just so good to feel part of the community. 143 00:10:53,755 --> 00:10:57,255 It's the Peckham people. You know what I mean? It's just... 144 00:11:06,046 --> 00:11:11,046 Sometimes I like to stay in on my day off as well. Work on my projects. 145 00:11:13,463 --> 00:11:19,463 This one is for someone... Special. 146 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:25,630 Hello? - David? 147 00:11:25,755 --> 00:11:27,963 It's Bob, you called me. 148 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:31,088 Who is Bob? - Bob, your son. 149 00:11:31,213 --> 00:11:34,046 You called me, Mum. - I don't have a son. 150 00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:37,213 If I had a son, he would come and visit me more. 151 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:43,671 I'm not suggesting that she's faking it, but I do sometimes think that it's quite a convenient disease. 152 00:11:43,796 --> 00:11:46,713 I heard that, Bob. - Oh, now you remember my name. 153 00:11:46,963 --> 00:11:50,838 So are there any downsides to your amazing life, Bob? 154 00:11:54,088 --> 00:12:00,296 It does get... lonely. Sometimes. 155 00:12:11,713 --> 00:12:14,421 He struggles, 'cause he's got big fingers. 156 00:12:15,088 --> 00:12:18,713 Sorry, who's that? - Oh that's Barry, my security. - You have security? 157 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:23,630 Yeah. It's a union thing, he has to watch over the house. He's got a shed. 158 00:12:24,046 --> 00:12:27,296 That seems... unnecessary. - Why? 159 00:12:28,088 --> 00:12:32,421 Because you're invulnerable. - Well, it's a union thing. 160 00:12:34,571 --> 00:12:38,130 You were saying? He's got this thyroid problem that affects him... - No, um no... 161 00:12:38,255 --> 00:12:40,355 About being lonely. 162 00:12:42,921 --> 00:12:45,021 Oh, um, right. 163 00:12:46,421 --> 00:12:50,838 I guess, I have always wanted someone.... 164 00:12:53,963 --> 00:12:56,338 To shine my shoes with. 165 00:12:57,963 --> 00:13:00,063 I never had that. 166 00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:06,130 But today... today, I am making changes. 167 00:13:07,755 --> 00:13:11,380 Because today, I have a date. 168 00:13:13,505 --> 00:13:15,671 That's great! - Yeah. 169 00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:19,546 When were you last on a date? - Six years ago. 170 00:13:19,671 --> 00:13:23,338 Doris, I trying to do an interview! Sorry. 171 00:13:27,363 --> 00:13:29,371 So, who's the date with? 172 00:13:32,213 --> 00:13:36,421 June is... The most beautiful girl in Peckham. 173 00:13:36,546 --> 00:13:39,838 Can I say that? I said it, it's true. 174 00:13:41,171 --> 00:13:46,296 She's the most beautiful girl in the world, and I've been all over. 175 00:13:46,630 --> 00:13:50,797 I remember the very first conversation we ever had, like it was yesterday. 176 00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:56,130 She says to me, "Have you ever read House of Leaves?" And I'm like, "No." 177 00:13:56,255 --> 00:14:00,338 And she's like, "Well, you should." So I did. 178 00:14:02,255 --> 00:14:04,355 That's where she works. 179 00:14:06,088 --> 00:14:09,814 Anyway, I didn't get it. It's like this book, you have to sort of turn it around as you read it, 180 00:14:09,838 --> 00:14:13,505 It's like this sort of spiraling... I didn't get it. 181 00:14:13,630 --> 00:14:17,005 But it was an icebreaker, because then... 182 00:14:18,796 --> 00:14:22,231 Is that her? - I don't know which one she is. - She's the most beautiful one. Oh, I... 183 00:14:22,255 --> 00:14:25,046 Go go go go go, I'm going to look like a right wheeler... 184 00:14:25,171 --> 00:14:27,171 He's been coming in, for about six months. 185 00:14:27,296 --> 00:14:30,463 He comes in every Tuesday I know because I've been counting. 186 00:14:30,588 --> 00:14:34,588 Because it's... Well, you know. Him. In here. 187 00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:40,921 Everyone else is used to it, but... I guess I'm just not.. 188 00:14:43,796 --> 00:14:47,596 This is where I used to work. I used to love working here, because people are always excited.... 189 00:14:47,671 --> 00:14:51,255 Oh! Bob, come here! - They'd be excited to get... 190 00:14:51,380 --> 00:14:54,963 Bob, one second, just come here and... - I don't know who she is. 191 00:14:55,338 --> 00:14:57,921 Bob. Come here. 192 00:14:58,888 --> 00:15:01,488 You must listen to big people when when they talk and talk to you. 193 00:15:01,546 --> 00:15:04,106 Hold this for me, I'll soon come. I'm gonna go on to the butcher's. 194 00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:07,630 I'm just going to the butcher's before it close. Please, just hold it, yes indeedy. 195 00:15:07,755 --> 00:15:10,005 Just hold it, I'll soon come, Okay. 196 00:15:12,671 --> 00:15:15,046 Well, he's just not like other guys. 197 00:15:15,171 --> 00:15:18,463 I mean... He's really not. 198 00:15:20,005 --> 00:15:23,713 Like, every week I was taking out books and bringing them back. 199 00:15:23,838 --> 00:15:27,380 Oh, he is a voracious reader. - I was not reading any of them. 200 00:15:27,505 --> 00:15:32,172 He's read my favorite book, which is very romantic. 201 00:15:32,338 --> 00:15:36,838 Because it's not an easy book. - And then, after about six months... 202 00:15:36,963 --> 00:15:43,005 He started like, hanging around my desk a lot... - Just like, mumbling about, around her like an idiot. 203 00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:46,630 I thought, "Does he like me?" 204 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:52,505 Eventually... - Would SuperBob ever ask me out? 205 00:15:53,005 --> 00:15:55,963 Finally... - Like, ever? 206 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,671 She asked me out.. 207 00:15:58,796 --> 00:16:00,896 And he said yes. 208 00:16:01,588 --> 00:16:03,596 It was unbelievable. 209 00:16:03,721 --> 00:16:07,921 So, finally, we're going on our date. Today. 210 00:16:09,213 --> 00:16:11,630 Lunch. One o'clock. 211 00:16:12,463 --> 00:16:14,713 And I am very excited about it. 212 00:16:14,921 --> 00:16:17,213 There is no accounting for tastes. 213 00:16:21,338 --> 00:16:26,171 I do actually need Maureen, because I don't have a photo ID, so... 214 00:16:26,296 --> 00:16:28,396 I am done. 215 00:16:33,421 --> 00:16:37,754 It's Theresa. She wants to take me shopping for clothes for the date. 216 00:16:38,338 --> 00:16:41,630 I don't need her for that. I can buy clothes. 217 00:16:43,213 --> 00:16:45,213 How hard is it to buy clothes? 218 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:50,588 Doris, I need you to help me buy clothes, I've made a terrible mistake. You need to take me shopping. 219 00:16:50,721 --> 00:16:55,421 I don't want to turn up at this date... -You're like a pedophile. - Is that what this combo says to you? 220 00:16:55,546 --> 00:16:59,106 It's not just the clothes, it's the face. - Okay, well that's terrible, I need clothes... 221 00:16:59,171 --> 00:17:01,838 You look like a man who has not touched a woman in six years. 222 00:17:01,963 --> 00:17:04,805 I need clothes where I turn up and I don't look like a weirdo. 223 00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:09,081 You look desperate, and insane... -You look like a terrorist. - Hello, Barry. -That's because of his eyebrows. 224 00:17:09,105 --> 00:17:12,255 What is wrong with eyebrows? -Terroristic. -You have terrorist eyebrows. 225 00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:15,338 I will buy you something. - Anything? 226 00:17:16,463 --> 00:17:19,380 Yep. What do you need? - Socks. 227 00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:22,463 Let's go. You stay here. Just Doris. 228 00:17:23,963 --> 00:17:27,380 Alright, I'll stay, it's alright. I'll have a bath or something. 229 00:17:29,796 --> 00:17:35,046 We'll walk one to the other and see everything. In... two minutes. 230 00:17:35,171 --> 00:17:40,838 Hey! Umm... - Oh, Karl! - Why don't you call me anymore? - 'Cause... we had our fun. 231 00:17:40,963 --> 00:17:45,630 But I want more fun! - We had our fun! Come on, Bob. 232 00:17:45,755 --> 00:17:49,255 Enjoying your day off, SuperBob? - Oh, yes, thanks! 233 00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:51,546 You lazy shit! 234 00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:54,463 Do not listen to her. - I didn't. 235 00:17:55,880 --> 00:18:00,380 I thought you were still with Javier. - Yes? Oh, Javier was over weeks ago. 236 00:18:00,505 --> 00:18:05,946 I'm so hungry. You like lemon? - I'm okay with lemons, is that what you want to eat it? - No. 237 00:18:06,071 --> 00:18:08,130 What is this? - A pa-pa. 238 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:13,088 A pa-pa? - What do you want to eat? I don't know what it is. I always have... Curiosity, what is it? 239 00:18:13,213 --> 00:18:16,963 Is it meat? Is it cold, is it hot? 240 00:18:38,088 --> 00:18:40,921 What was wrong with Javier? 241 00:18:42,171 --> 00:18:44,505 He always took me bowling. 242 00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:46,880 You hate bowling. - I know. 243 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:53,213 I'm Bob's cleaner. I clean twice a week. 244 00:18:53,338 --> 00:18:56,713 I also work at the care home where his mother lives. 245 00:18:56,838 --> 00:19:01,963 I became very friendly with Mrs. Kenner. And she tells me her son needs help. 246 00:19:02,088 --> 00:19:04,421 He cannot tie his own shoelaces. 247 00:19:04,546 --> 00:19:08,046 And... that is how I was stuck with Bob. 248 00:19:08,921 --> 00:19:13,171 Yeah. What, you're "Eon"? I thought I'd already spoken to you this... 249 00:19:13,296 --> 00:19:16,713 Is that "British Gas"? Do you like this? - No. 250 00:19:16,838 --> 00:19:22,546 The, the thing is... - I came here to raise money to pay for a nursery in Colombia. 251 00:19:23,755 --> 00:19:28,838 It's taken me... six years, and I have barely raised any money. 252 00:19:30,338 --> 00:19:33,921 They not pay shit in this country. - I heard that. 253 00:19:34,255 --> 00:19:36,796 I found this really beautiful monastery in Tibet. 254 00:19:36,921 --> 00:19:39,796 I'm gonna fly us there, I'm gonna sit on this clifftop, 255 00:19:39,921 --> 00:19:44,630 We overlook the whole of the place, we eat noodles... Why are you laughing? - Are you joking? 256 00:19:44,755 --> 00:19:50,713 No. - For a first date? -Yes. -Do you want to look crazy? -I definitely don't want to look crazy. 257 00:19:50,838 --> 00:19:54,630 Take her to... take her to the "Curry Cabin" in Peckham. 258 00:19:54,796 --> 00:19:58,671 Really? - Yes, with your legs. Don't be so keen. 259 00:19:58,796 --> 00:20:02,671 It's a nice place. Buy her Tikka Masala, ask her lots of questions. - Like what? 260 00:20:02,796 --> 00:20:05,963 Don't ask who supplies her fucking gas. 261 00:20:06,821 --> 00:20:08,930 I wasn't going to. 262 00:20:09,055 --> 00:20:11,130 I wasn't going to! 263 00:20:11,255 --> 00:20:13,338 Ask her something personal. 264 00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:16,838 Okay, um... is your mother still alive? - No, something else. 265 00:20:16,963 --> 00:20:20,588 And then, if it goes well, then you can fly her about. 266 00:20:20,713 --> 00:20:25,296 Okay. - Don't play all your cards at once. You'll scare her away. 267 00:20:25,421 --> 00:20:31,543 It's going to be alright, though, isn't it? I just gotta be myself, right? - Not if you want her to like you. 268 00:20:31,668 --> 00:20:34,738 Bob, when you're on this date, turn off your fucking phone. 269 00:20:34,863 --> 00:20:37,997 Women hate being interrupted by fucking phones. - It's Theresa. It's Theresa, I have to take it. 270 00:20:38,021 --> 00:20:42,647 Fuck Theresa! Don't answer! It's your day off... - Hello? Hey, hello Theresa. No, no, I'm listening to angry Spanish talk radio. 271 00:20:42,671 --> 00:20:45,555 I need you to come into the office now. - But... - It's an emergency. 272 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,763 Theresa, it's my day off. - In my office, now, Bob. 273 00:20:48,888 --> 00:20:51,248 Okay, if it's an emergency. - It's a fucking emergency, Bob! 274 00:20:51,346 --> 00:20:54,413 I have to go, I'm sorry. Can you take care of everything? 275 00:20:54,538 --> 00:20:57,331 What about your date? You're just going to cancel because the MOD called? 276 00:20:57,355 --> 00:21:00,413 No, No, I will go quickly to the MOD and then I'll rush to my date. 277 00:21:00,538 --> 00:21:05,421 It will be fine, there'll be enough time. - What if there's not time? -Then, I'll postpone the date. 278 00:21:05,546 --> 00:21:08,380 You are pathetic! - I'm not pathetic, what choice do I have? 279 00:21:08,505 --> 00:21:14,046 What did these people do before you, Bob? Sometimes we have to say No! - I can't say No to the Ministry of Defense! 280 00:21:14,171 --> 00:21:18,005 It's not so hard to say "No". - It's very hard to say... - "No. Theresa, no, it's my day off." 281 00:21:18,130 --> 00:21:20,796 This from a woman who has never said No in her entire life! 282 00:21:20,921 --> 00:21:25,338 "Oh, yes, Javier, yes, Karl, yes, Simon, yes, Brian. 283 00:21:25,505 --> 00:21:28,880 I literally don't know the meaning of the word 'No! 284 00:21:31,130 --> 00:21:36,463 What did you say? - It was a... doesn't matter, it was just a joke. 285 00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:39,505 What, you think a woman is not allowed to have many partners? 286 00:21:39,630 --> 00:21:42,838 No, of course I don't think that. - You think it makes her a whore, do you? 287 00:21:42,963 --> 00:21:47,546 A woman living her life, choosing what she wants to... - I don't think all women are whores. 288 00:21:47,671 --> 00:21:51,463 Just you! I can't believe that was the end of that sentence. 289 00:21:51,588 --> 00:21:54,963 I really thought there would be other words, which would make it sound better 290 00:21:55,088 --> 00:22:01,421 Can I get anything? - I'd take your losses, mate. -Yeah, I have to go. I... 291 00:22:01,713 --> 00:22:05,588 Wait, I have a form for you. It says... to go fuck yourself. 292 00:22:07,296 --> 00:22:10,796 It's blank. - It says, "Go fuck yourself." Please sign it. 293 00:22:10,921 --> 00:22:13,880 It doesn't say anything. - It's psychic paper. 294 00:22:17,630 --> 00:22:19,730 Full name, please. 295 00:22:21,380 --> 00:22:23,480 Can I please go now? 296 00:22:24,630 --> 00:22:26,963 Go. Do your fucking thing. 297 00:22:32,805 --> 00:22:36,088 What's the emergency? -The American situation is frying. 298 00:22:36,213 --> 00:22:39,713 Where do I need to be? -Here, for a handshake. - Is that code? 299 00:22:39,838 --> 00:22:42,088 No, it's a handshake. - Right. 300 00:22:42,213 --> 00:22:46,171 The senator is joining us for lunch, you need you here for a Photo Op. 301 00:22:46,296 --> 00:22:51,838 Just a handshake, nothing heavy. Just a Handshake. And a hug. And hold a baby. 302 00:22:51,963 --> 00:22:55,880 We've got a few scenarios that they've agreed to. Um, the classic handshake... 303 00:22:56,005 --> 00:22:59,088 Hang on, what is this? - I need to show you're not dangerous. 304 00:22:59,213 --> 00:23:01,655 I'm not dangerous. - I know that. - I've never hurt anyone. 305 00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:06,231 We know you're not dangerous, Bob, but this is the United States, they still haven't forgiven us. - For what? - For you. 306 00:23:06,255 --> 00:23:08,296 They're still pissed off you're ours. 307 00:23:08,421 --> 00:23:11,005 I'm going to tell you this off the record. 308 00:23:12,088 --> 00:23:14,188 Off the record, okay? 309 00:23:16,005 --> 00:23:19,796 About a year ago, America made a move on Bob. 310 00:23:20,463 --> 00:23:23,046 They tried to poach him, but we wouldn't let him go. 311 00:23:23,171 --> 00:23:29,505 And ever since then, a smear campaign started, from across the Pond. 312 00:23:30,005 --> 00:23:32,105 Infecting everything. 313 00:23:33,046 --> 00:23:35,146 Coincidence? 314 00:23:36,046 --> 00:23:38,146 You do the math. 315 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,838 In Texas today SuperBob saved 400 children from a burning school. 316 00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:46,963 There were no injuries. -They send him into a burning school to save the children. 317 00:23:47,088 --> 00:23:50,481 Now I'm not disagreeing that he saved the children, he did save the children, that's by the by. 318 00:23:50,505 --> 00:23:55,546 But what kind of "Superhero" smashes up a school? A school? 319 00:23:58,921 --> 00:24:03,671 Now, this is one of their favorites. It's you, kneeling, obviously. 320 00:24:04,505 --> 00:24:10,630 With a gigantic American flag, like, flapping behind you. 321 00:24:11,338 --> 00:24:15,255 Does it have to be today? - Yes, they're all here for tonight's summit. 322 00:24:15,380 --> 00:24:20,005 It's my day off. - Do you think I like calling you in on your day off? Because I don't. 323 00:24:20,130 --> 00:24:24,088 Okay, it makes me feel awful, but unfortunately, that is part of my job. 324 00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:26,421 Now this deal has taken a long time to broker. 325 00:24:26,546 --> 00:24:31,171 Yeah, these mountains are not currently snow capped. Now these are not condors they are not vultures, 326 00:24:31,296 --> 00:24:35,338 Don't make the same mistake I did, they are bald eagles. 327 00:24:35,463 --> 00:24:40,546 Um, their handler is a lovely man named Clint... - What about my date? - What? 328 00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:43,146 My date. 329 00:24:44,463 --> 00:24:50,213 Oh, Bob. She'll wait. - They're no danger to Bob, in any way. 330 00:24:50,421 --> 00:24:53,463 Postpone the date. She'll be fine. 331 00:24:54,046 --> 00:25:01,130 We will however have like, a few carcases, sort of scattered around the rocks, 332 00:25:01,255 --> 00:25:04,463 to get them interested, to get them excited, to get them swooshing. 333 00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:08,938 If they do go for Bob... 334 00:25:09,713 --> 00:25:11,813 What if I don't want to? 335 00:25:12,546 --> 00:25:14,646 What do you mean? 336 00:25:15,505 --> 00:25:19,130 Could I say no? - Could you say... 337 00:25:20,755 --> 00:25:25,921 Bob. No. - Doris says I should say "No" more... 338 00:25:26,046 --> 00:25:29,130 What the fuck does Doris have to do with world security? 339 00:25:29,255 --> 00:25:32,088 She's my cleaner. - I know who she is. 340 00:25:35,255 --> 00:25:40,463 And finally... the hot dog. - Yeah, I like that. 341 00:25:40,588 --> 00:25:43,213 Okay, I'll do the handshake one. 342 00:25:45,296 --> 00:25:51,005 Next Tuesday, I promise. I promise. It's just... my work... 343 00:25:53,838 --> 00:25:58,296 You're being a lot more understanding than I expected, I actually thought you'd be angrier. 344 00:25:58,963 --> 00:26:02,505 It's just... I have to do it. Apparently. 345 00:26:04,921 --> 00:26:08,046 No, I can't keep messing you around, it's not all, it's not alright, 346 00:26:08,171 --> 00:26:11,171 It's not alright. It isn't alright. 347 00:26:12,296 --> 00:26:17,171 Do you know what, June? We're going to have this date. 348 00:26:24,838 --> 00:26:29,213 Hello, June? No, we didn't get cut off, I hung up. 349 00:26:29,338 --> 00:26:31,921 No, no, no, you hadn't done anything wrong. 350 00:26:32,046 --> 00:26:35,588 No, I should have said goodby. I should have said goodby, I was being dramatic. 351 00:26:35,713 --> 00:26:37,880 I was being dramatic, it was stupid. I should've... 352 00:26:38,005 --> 00:26:41,296 I should've said goodby, But I thought I'd hang up, and then I'd go and do... 353 00:26:41,421 --> 00:26:44,505 And then to go and do something, and then maybe, maybe I could see you. 354 00:26:44,630 --> 00:26:47,338 Okay, you go when I... Okay, Bye! 355 00:26:47,463 --> 00:26:51,380 Okay. No, it doesn't matter.Okay. Bye! Okay. Um... Uh. 356 00:26:52,296 --> 00:26:54,588 I'm not really wild about.... 357 00:26:56,463 --> 00:27:00,421 I'm not doing it. - Oh, Bob. Okay... - No. I'm saying No. 358 00:27:00,546 --> 00:27:03,976 Listen to me, Bob. She will wait. -You heard me. - I told you, I promise you she will... 359 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,000 Fucking, NO! 360 00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:16,421 I'm sorry I had to swear word with that, that was unnecessary, I'm very excited, but... 361 00:27:16,546 --> 00:27:19,755 Right, you don't know what you're doing. Stop making a scene! 362 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:24,255 Doris, I did it! I said "No". Yeah, it's Bob. Yeah. 363 00:27:24,921 --> 00:27:29,171 I'm going to take her to the "Curry Cabin" and I'm going to ask her lots of questions. 364 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:40,047 Yes, sorry Doris. I hung up again, I should've said goodby... 365 00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:12,922 Bob, you need to come! - How did you find me? - I told you to come here! Why is your phone off? 366 00:28:12,946 --> 00:28:15,946 You told me to turn my phone off! - Why are you shouting at me? 367 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,583 Your mother fell. She hurt herself. 368 00:28:30,380 --> 00:28:32,880 Ooh! What's that? 369 00:28:34,338 --> 00:28:40,588 You banged your head, Mum. - Did I? That was silly of me. - Yeah, it was. 370 00:28:41,546 --> 00:28:43,646 Hi, Doris. - Hi. 371 00:28:44,421 --> 00:28:48,005 It's been too long. - Javier... 372 00:28:48,130 --> 00:28:53,130 I haven't shown you all my moves. - I've seen enough of your moves. 373 00:29:00,171 --> 00:29:02,255 You know what would make me happy, don't you? 374 00:29:02,380 --> 00:29:05,130 What's that, Mum? - To see you with a nice girl. 375 00:29:05,255 --> 00:29:09,546 That's all I want. To see you with a nice girl. - I know that's "all" you want. 376 00:29:09,671 --> 00:29:13,630 Then why won't you give it to me? - Mum... - I'll die sooner than you think. 377 00:29:13,755 --> 00:29:17,421 Mum, why do you always say that? - I could die today. 378 00:29:17,546 --> 00:29:21,713 You know, it's horrible when you say that! I really hate it. - Bob, if you don't like touching women... 379 00:29:21,838 --> 00:29:26,255 Oh, come on! I touch women. I touch women all the time with my hands! 380 00:29:29,796 --> 00:29:31,896 Only when they ask. 381 00:29:33,088 --> 00:29:35,188 And when do them ask? 382 00:29:35,463 --> 00:29:37,563 They don't. Um hmm. 383 00:29:38,213 --> 00:29:42,013 Naked and proud in front of her, and I would say, "Doris..." 384 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,000 Javier. - Bob. 385 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:51,072 What are you doing? Mum, put that away! - If you're never going to be with a woman, then I may as well be dead! 386 00:29:51,096 --> 00:29:53,996 Mum, stop threatening to die! This is exhausting! 387 00:29:54,130 --> 00:29:56,671 I do not want you to die. Give me those pills, this is awful! 388 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,976 - If you would just be with a girl... - I'm with a girl! I'm with a girl! I'm with a girl! 389 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,976 Really? - Yes, I promise. I'm with a girl. I'm with a girl, And she's great, and you'd love her. 390 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:10,800 Who is she? - she's um... it's um... Doris! It's Doris. - Yes? - Oh, Good! I love Doris! 391 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,900 Okay then it's not Doris. - It's Doris! - What? 392 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,000 My favorite girl in the world! - Okay, wait... 393 00:30:16,171 --> 00:30:18,630 Why is she crying? - Bob just told me the truth! 394 00:30:18,755 --> 00:30:22,213 What did you tell her? - I told her something... Wait. 395 00:30:22,338 --> 00:30:25,338 I always wanted you to be with my Bob. - I didn't know she would say this... 396 00:30:25,463 --> 00:30:28,455 I knew it would come this day. - Doris, please... 397 00:30:28,580 --> 00:30:32,671 I both love you so much. - You've made me the happiest woman. 398 00:30:32,796 --> 00:30:37,671 Could I have a quick word? Just a quick word, Doris. - Yes, Mrs. Kenner. -Doris... 399 00:30:38,630 --> 00:30:42,955 No, I don't want to do it! -It's not bad. -It's bad, I don't want to lie. 400 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,080 How would she ever believe her only son with such a whore? - Doris, 401 00:30:46,205 --> 00:30:51,088 She will find out! Why would I do this? - Because I've never seen her that happy. 402 00:30:51,213 --> 00:30:55,505 Ever. And she will forget, in an... hour. 403 00:30:58,213 --> 00:31:00,380 So why can't we just make her happy? 404 00:31:00,921 --> 00:31:03,021 Just for a moment. 405 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,980 Come on then! 406 00:31:19,713 --> 00:31:22,713 My Bobby and Doris are a couple. 407 00:31:25,630 --> 00:31:27,796 A la? People? 408 00:31:30,255 --> 00:31:38,255 Ladies and gentlemen, Sorry to interrupt but we are of course here to celebrate the 60th anniversary of Gladis and Ted. 409 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,100 Well done, you two! 410 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,291 Now, as a special treat, 411 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:54,000 Doris, our Doris has said that her new boyfriend SuperBob... 412 00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:59,500 No, me no believe it... is gonna give a little speech. 413 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,000 Bobby. - No, no, no, why would you do that? 414 00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:24,500 Hiya. 415 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,100 Gladys and... 416 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,583 Ted. 417 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,917 You guys... I've seen you guys over the last few years 418 00:32:43,255 --> 00:32:47,588 There you are! There you are, and you look well 419 00:32:49,130 --> 00:32:55,796 Sixty years. That is a fucking long time. I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm swearing, 420 00:32:55,921 --> 00:32:59,713 That's twice today, that is very out of character. I apologize. 421 00:32:59,838 --> 00:33:05,380 You're the sort of couple... that are going to die... 422 00:33:06,621 --> 00:33:08,671 Very soon. 423 00:33:08,796 --> 00:33:11,046 After each other, after each other, 424 00:33:11,171 --> 00:33:16,755 But not like from cancer, or because, like, you caught something off the other one, 425 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:21,213 but because, like, as soon as one of you dies, the other one will be like, 426 00:33:22,505 --> 00:33:25,796 Ahh, ahh, My heart, I can't, being crushed, I just... 427 00:33:25,921 --> 00:33:29,880 I've just, gone, sort of immed- within a week. 428 00:33:32,838 --> 00:33:35,713 A mean, that's what we want, isn't it? 429 00:33:36,005 --> 00:33:38,671 Not for you to be dead, not in any way, 430 00:33:38,796 --> 00:33:41,255 I mean, if your in pain, please, go ahead, you know... 431 00:33:41,380 --> 00:33:46,046 we'll be, we'll cope, but we'll miss you, the point is, you should stay, let's... 432 00:33:48,296 --> 00:33:50,713 That's what we all want, isn't it? 433 00:33:50,838 --> 00:33:55,046 To be with someone who, when they die, you're like, 434 00:33:56,296 --> 00:33:59,338 "Well, that's it for me, too." 435 00:34:04,963 --> 00:34:11,005 Anyway, Happy Love Day! and, and well done on 60 years 436 00:34:11,138 --> 00:34:14,905 And you weren't married at birth, so you must be... old, so chin up! 437 00:34:15,030 --> 00:34:19,280 And thank you, for the music, Cheers! and, good night. 438 00:34:22,630 --> 00:34:24,930 - Awful! - I hate you. 439 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,416 Very deep. - Oh, when are you gonna stop punishing me? 440 00:34:28,671 --> 00:34:31,588 I haven't decided yet. - Thank you, Bob. 441 00:34:31,713 --> 00:34:35,630 Now, I'm joined in the studio today by the American Senator Bill Jackson. 442 00:34:35,755 --> 00:34:39,338 Senator, you're in town for today's weapon summit. 443 00:34:39,463 --> 00:34:42,505 What exactly is it that you're hoping to achieve here in the UK, senator? 444 00:34:42,630 --> 00:34:46,096 I want to out an end to Britain's monopoly on a highly dangerous weapon. 445 00:34:46,221 --> 00:34:49,588 Ah, but SuperBob isn't in fact a weapon, is he? He's a man. 446 00:34:49,713 --> 00:34:52,921 The fact that he refused to meet with me today, 447 00:34:53,046 --> 00:34:57,463 to shake my hand, with no apology, or explanation, 448 00:34:57,630 --> 00:35:01,588 SuperBob is a weapon that Britain has no control over. 449 00:35:01,713 --> 00:35:03,813 Where is he today? 450 00:35:20,921 --> 00:35:23,021 I don't like dancing. 451 00:35:23,963 --> 00:35:26,213 No, I don't have to... - dance with your girlfriend! 452 00:35:26,338 --> 00:35:30,338 No, that's why we're a good couple, She knows I don't dance. 453 00:35:33,963 --> 00:35:36,671 Is this... this is dancing, isn't it? 454 00:35:37,463 --> 00:35:40,588 No, come on. This is less embarrassing. 455 00:35:59,671 --> 00:36:02,563 Is it weird with Javier? - Why? 456 00:36:02,688 --> 00:36:04,755 Because you use to go out. 457 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:09,963 Why would it be weird? It was months ago, it was just fun. 458 00:36:10,796 --> 00:36:12,921 You're probably disgusted. 459 00:36:14,088 --> 00:36:17,338 I am sorry. About what I said earlier. 460 00:36:17,671 --> 00:36:20,171 It's OK, you're not normal. 461 00:36:20,546 --> 00:36:26,130 I'm just jealous. Maybe I wish I could be more like you. 462 00:36:26,588 --> 00:36:28,688 You already apologized. 463 00:36:29,713 --> 00:36:32,463 What's this? - It's the psychic paper. 464 00:36:32,630 --> 00:36:35,046 Oh, the psychic paper, is it? 465 00:36:35,246 --> 00:36:39,446 "Doris is better than I will ever be. I am sorry I was ever rude to her, 466 00:36:39,571 --> 00:36:42,463 She's the greatest, I am an idiot, Bob Kenner." 467 00:36:42,588 --> 00:36:44,671 That's interesting. 468 00:36:44,796 --> 00:36:49,046 Yeah. How come your English is so much better on paper? 469 00:38:28,255 --> 00:38:31,505 It's June. I should take this. 470 00:38:31,838 --> 00:38:34,380 Tell her you dance like a fucking idiot. 471 00:38:34,505 --> 00:38:36,963 Hello? June... 472 00:38:42,338 --> 00:38:47,421 No, I honestly, I waited for ages, then I had to go because my Mum, and... 473 00:38:47,546 --> 00:38:49,646 So it was broken? 474 00:38:50,005 --> 00:38:53,630 Well, of course. Of course I'm still keen, 475 00:38:54,005 --> 00:38:56,630 I'm too keen, I'm... 476 00:38:58,255 --> 00:39:01,588 I've been making you something. It's embarrassing. 477 00:39:03,421 --> 00:39:07,088 Yeah, you could see it, if you want. It's at my house. 478 00:39:10,213 --> 00:39:15,421 Yes. Yeah. Yeah, that would be great. 479 00:39:15,921 --> 00:39:18,021 That's a great idea. 480 00:39:18,921 --> 00:39:21,505 Okay, you come to my house. For dinner. 481 00:39:23,546 --> 00:39:26,130 All right. I'm a tremendous cook. 482 00:39:26,963 --> 00:39:32,046 Okay. see you later. All right. Goodbye. 483 00:39:41,796 --> 00:39:43,921 We are joined now by Theresa Ford 484 00:39:44,046 --> 00:39:47,846 Head of the Global Emergency Response Department at the Ministry of Defense. 485 00:39:47,971 --> 00:39:52,255 Theresa, do you really thing that SuperBob... Excuse me, why won't SuperBob shake my hand? 486 00:39:52,380 --> 00:39:54,546 Does he hold a grudge against the United States? 487 00:39:54,671 --> 00:39:58,338 SuperBob does not hold any resentment against anyone. 488 00:39:58,463 --> 00:40:00,755 He is a very warm and kind man. 489 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:05,546 You have no control over SuperBob. - Of course I do. 490 00:40:05,671 --> 00:40:09,671 All right, where was he today? - He was resting, Senator Jackson, in accordance... 491 00:40:09,796 --> 00:40:16,171 SuperBob hates America. - SuperBob does not hate America, SuperBob loves America. 492 00:40:16,296 --> 00:40:19,046 He loves your country, he loves your culture. 493 00:40:19,338 --> 00:40:22,213 Plinky plonky, country and western, he can't get enough of it. 494 00:40:22,338 --> 00:40:26,546 You know, big shoulder pads. American football. 495 00:40:26,671 --> 00:40:30,255 Men with cagey, head Helmut hats. 496 00:40:30,380 --> 00:40:33,880 Peanut butter and jelly. 497 00:40:34,046 --> 00:40:36,713 Yes, my Bob and Doris are now a couple. 498 00:40:37,130 --> 00:40:39,230 I do not believe it. 499 00:40:43,005 --> 00:40:47,296 Why is your Momma going around telling everybody that you are a couple for? You're not her type. 500 00:40:47,421 --> 00:40:53,963 Doris like the strong, assertive, virile type. You know, the Javier type. 501 00:40:57,296 --> 00:41:00,588 Well, maybe I impressed her. 502 00:41:00,963 --> 00:41:03,380 Yes. How did you impress me? 503 00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:07,755 Without being arrogant, 504 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,963 I am a superhero. I mean, that's... 505 00:41:11,088 --> 00:41:14,088 I never think of you as a superhero. - You never think of me as a superhero? 506 00:41:14,130 --> 00:41:17,463 Never. - Okay, well, not that, then. 507 00:41:17,588 --> 00:41:21,505 So... how the two of you get together? 508 00:41:21,713 --> 00:41:26,421 Just the usual. Just... Doris asked me out, and... 509 00:41:26,546 --> 00:41:28,630 I didn't ask you out! You asked me out. 510 00:41:28,755 --> 00:41:34,422 Oh I don't remember exactly, it doesn't matter. -It doesn't matter? Oh, come on, Bob, it's romantic. 511 00:41:34,921 --> 00:41:38,713 Bob has been obsessed with me for a long time. - Obsessed is a strong word. 512 00:41:38,838 --> 00:41:40,838 Always watching me around the house. 513 00:41:40,963 --> 00:41:44,821 I'm always waiting for me to pick up something from the floor so he could look at my ass. 514 00:41:44,946 --> 00:41:48,039 I wouldn't... I didn't do that because I'm a feminist. -When I say he likes my ass... 515 00:41:48,063 --> 00:41:50,256 I don't like you ass, I've never looked at it. - You do not like her ass? 516 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:55,255 Always watching me eat bananas. - Have you seen her eat a banana? She eats bananas with the skin on, 517 00:41:55,380 --> 00:41:59,713 Of course I watch, it's weird. - And then after a few weeks I came in, 518 00:41:59,838 --> 00:42:02,755 and the whole house smells of patchouli oil. Didn't it, Bob? 519 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:08,463 Yep. - And Bob is standing there in this big, pink, Ong. 520 00:42:08,588 --> 00:42:13,430 Was it one of mine? - What? 'E was like that when he was younger. Always stealing my knickers. 521 00:42:13,555 --> 00:42:17,413 Mum, when are you going to let that go? It was once, and I was four. 522 00:42:17,538 --> 00:42:21,705 It doesn't matter how old you were. You still stole my knickers. - I did not steal you knickers, Mum! 523 00:42:21,830 --> 00:42:25,939 Why would you stole your mother's knickers? - I didn't steal her knickers! - Sounds like you stole her knickers. 524 00:42:25,963 --> 00:42:30,963 All right! I stole her knickers, Is everyone happy? Can we move on? 525 00:42:31,380 --> 00:42:34,380 Do you feel better now, Bobby? - Yes. 526 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:38,255 So there we were, in the kitchen, and I said to Doris... 527 00:42:38,380 --> 00:42:41,171 Four words. - Four words. 528 00:42:41,588 --> 00:42:46,130 Four perfect words. -Of course they were perfect, I said... 529 00:42:46,255 --> 00:42:48,355 I said... 530 00:42:49,338 --> 00:42:51,380 "You complete me, Doris." 531 00:42:51,505 --> 00:42:55,796 No, silly, that is from a film! - From a film. I said, - Come on! - I said... - What did you say? 532 00:42:55,921 --> 00:42:59,546 I said, "Nobody puts Baby..." I didn't say that, it sounds a git, 533 00:42:59,671 --> 00:43:04,213 I said, "I love your face. I love your face!" 534 00:43:04,338 --> 00:43:09,296 That is what said. Because it was poignant. - Isn't he adorable? - He's not my type. 535 00:43:24,838 --> 00:43:28,963 We have a major accident with multiple vehicles on the A205 westbound 536 00:43:29,088 --> 00:43:31,188 Answer, please. 537 00:43:36,005 --> 00:43:38,171 Multiple vehicles, multiple injured. 538 00:43:38,296 --> 00:43:40,396 I'd better... 539 00:43:51,838 --> 00:43:55,380 Senator Jackson, I have complete control over Bob's movements. 540 00:43:55,505 --> 00:43:57,871 You have no - I know where he is, at all times. 541 00:43:57,996 --> 00:44:04,255 I'm terribly sorry to have to interrupt you there, but we're getting reports of a large car crash in South London, 542 00:44:04,380 --> 00:44:08,046 SuperBob is actually reported to be on the scene. Which if true, Theresa, 543 00:44:08,171 --> 00:44:14,088 would be a direct contravention of his UN sanctioned Tuesday day off. Would it not? 544 00:44:14,213 --> 00:44:18,171 Well, it would if, if... - Well, it would, wouldn't it? 545 00:44:18,296 --> 00:44:23,963 This, this is exactly what I am talking about, - I have to go... - He is not allowed to... - Start the bloody chopper! 546 00:44:25,338 --> 00:44:27,755 He is not allowed to work on Tuesdays! 547 00:44:28,380 --> 00:44:32,505 Rogue WMD. We are at their mercy. 548 00:44:36,213 --> 00:44:38,313 Help, please! 549 00:44:39,296 --> 00:44:44,880 She's got a puncture to her left lung. -Get out of here now. This has nothing to do with the MOD. 550 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:49,896 I can help. - You cannot work on your day off, that is the law. 551 00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:52,921 You have to be seen to be following orders. Bob! 552 00:44:56,963 --> 00:45:00,338 Do not disobey your government. 553 00:45:03,588 --> 00:45:06,505 Do not disobey me, Bob. 554 00:45:07,421 --> 00:45:09,921 Walk. Away. 555 00:45:10,296 --> 00:45:14,213 Help me! Please, help me! - Don't do it, Bob. 556 00:45:40,296 --> 00:45:42,396 It's OK. 557 00:45:43,671 --> 00:45:45,771 It's all right. 558 00:46:47,171 --> 00:46:51,755 He just let that woman die. He doesn't have psychic powers, Senator. He's just a man. 559 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:55,046 He is not just a man. 560 00:46:55,171 --> 00:46:58,921 He has these powers and they should be used in the right way. 561 00:46:59,046 --> 00:47:04,088 You people are sitting on the greatest discovery of this century and you are squandering it. 562 00:47:04,630 --> 00:47:09,921 Why is Great Britain allowed an unsanctioned WMD while the rest of us just got to sit around and wait and see 563 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,000 what he is gonna snap? 564 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,900 Bob... - Sorry, I forgot my keys. 565 00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,958 No, no, that's fine. I was in the area buying lemons. 566 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,189 Listen, I didn't get them, when we were in the care home 567 00:47:32,213 --> 00:47:35,788 Javier got into this big argument with Tomas for waking him up for lunch. 568 00:47:35,913 --> 00:47:38,463 That is because he has his clock fast. 569 00:47:38,588 --> 00:47:41,171 And then when we gave him the food, he said... 570 00:47:41,296 --> 00:47:44,380 He complained about the food, he said he would only eat cake. 571 00:47:44,505 --> 00:47:46,963 But you know this makes him hyperactive. 572 00:47:47,088 --> 00:47:52,880 Do you remember Nora? The one with the harelip? She likes to be the one to put out the cutlery. 573 00:47:53,213 --> 00:47:55,880 And the cutlery wasn't there. 574 00:47:56,713 --> 00:48:02,755 So, Nora went absolutely insane And Javier was like, 575 00:48:04,171 --> 00:48:06,921 I have always emptied the dishwasher! 576 00:48:07,046 --> 00:48:10,296 There is no reason to believe I would forget to do it this afternoon! 577 00:48:10,421 --> 00:48:14,421 Why? Why today? Explain to me why today I would have forgotten it. 578 00:48:14,588 --> 00:48:16,688 It was really tough today. 579 00:48:21,838 --> 00:48:23,938 Really tough. 580 00:48:51,130 --> 00:48:53,380 It's always tough. 581 00:49:11,130 --> 00:49:13,796 How ya, Barry? - Hi, Barry. 582 00:49:14,005 --> 00:49:16,505 I'll go and have a bath, then. 583 00:49:24,755 --> 00:49:27,880 Who is this? - Shit, it's June. 584 00:49:28,963 --> 00:49:32,005 Why is she here? - She's coming for dinner. 585 00:49:33,505 --> 00:49:35,605 Oh, I see. 586 00:49:37,130 --> 00:49:42,213 Go. - I'm going to... - To your room, go to your room. You have to clean up. 587 00:49:45,646 --> 00:49:49,380 Barry, please get out, I have to shower. -I ain't finished yet. 588 00:49:49,505 --> 00:49:52,255 Can you move up? 589 00:49:57,005 --> 00:49:59,255 Good evening, June. - Hey. 590 00:49:59,588 --> 00:50:03,163 Welcome to Bob's house. I'm Doris, I work here. -Hello. 591 00:50:03,288 --> 00:50:06,588 Please come in. Well come. - Thank you. 592 00:50:08,380 --> 00:50:13,005 May I present, Bob Kenner. 593 00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:16,421 Doris, don't make a deal of it. 594 00:50:18,380 --> 00:50:21,171 You look really handsome. -Thank you. 595 00:50:21,755 --> 00:50:24,838 Hi. - Hi. How are you? 596 00:50:26,088 --> 00:50:30,130 Okay. I'll leave your papers there. Do you have your keys? 597 00:50:30,546 --> 00:50:34,730 Yep. -Do you need something? - Nope. 598 00:50:35,588 --> 00:50:38,508 Oh, Mind the door! - Are you all right? - Easy, I mind the door. I'm fine. 599 00:50:38,588 --> 00:50:42,463 Did you bang your head? - No, I'm fine. Are you bleeding? - No, I'm fine. 600 00:50:42,588 --> 00:50:44,688 Have fun. 601 00:50:49,171 --> 00:50:51,271 You do look very nice. 602 00:50:51,796 --> 00:50:56,338 Thank you. So do you, you look very... green. 603 00:50:57,046 --> 00:50:59,921 Green? - like a good green. 604 00:51:00,046 --> 00:51:02,146 Okay. 605 00:51:02,630 --> 00:51:04,755 Can you hang on a second? Just one second. 606 00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:08,046 Yeah. - I promise I'll be quick. - Okay. 607 00:51:20,130 --> 00:51:22,230 Okay. - Okay. 608 00:51:22,838 --> 00:51:25,796 Let's do this. Let's do a date. 609 00:51:30,046 --> 00:51:33,963 Right, you sit down... Okay. 610 00:51:34,671 --> 00:51:37,463 Oh my God! What's the smell? 611 00:51:38,005 --> 00:51:41,630 Okay, I'll open it. Ready? 612 00:51:52,796 --> 00:51:57,796 Ugh! Ugh! Is that manure? - No, that... It's leaves. 613 00:51:59,380 --> 00:52:03,380 Right, leaves... - And what they're made into. 614 00:52:06,838 --> 00:52:10,963 I do not know. - Okay, why's it got windows? 615 00:52:11,130 --> 00:52:13,171 Are those windows? -Yeah. 616 00:52:13,296 --> 00:52:18,338 That looks like maggots. -No, that's not a... That's a house. A house. 617 00:52:20,963 --> 00:52:23,063 House of leaves! 618 00:52:25,130 --> 00:52:27,230 The House of Leaves. 619 00:52:27,713 --> 00:52:29,813 The House of Leaves. 620 00:52:32,255 --> 00:52:34,355 I love it. - Good. 621 00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:38,296 Um-hm. I really love it, it's very sweet.. - Good. 622 00:52:38,463 --> 00:52:42,296 Oh my God, I love it! - Great. Why House of Leaves? 623 00:52:42,421 --> 00:52:46,288 It's your favorite book. -My favorite book is "House of Cards". 624 00:52:46,413 --> 00:52:48,513 That is so much easier. 625 00:52:49,046 --> 00:52:51,963 That is, that is amazing. 626 00:52:54,588 --> 00:52:57,071 I'm glad you ate your noodles. 627 00:52:57,196 --> 00:53:00,338 You ate loads. Look at how much you ate, here. 628 00:53:00,463 --> 00:53:04,046 You're gonna be full. Yeah. - Very full. 629 00:53:04,171 --> 00:53:06,880 You're going to be bloated. -Yeah. 630 00:53:07,755 --> 00:53:10,671 Are you comfortable with, like, farting? 631 00:53:11,463 --> 00:53:17,296 Excuse me? - You know, like, if I winded you? - Like a baby? - Yeah. 632 00:53:17,755 --> 00:53:22,505 Uh.. I... No. No, oh, you were joking. - Yeah. 633 00:53:22,630 --> 00:53:25,463 That would really upset me. - It really would upset me... 634 00:53:25,671 --> 00:53:30,130 Okay. - I mean, not that much, because I'd be totally cool with it, if you wanted to, but... 635 00:53:30,255 --> 00:53:34,213 I really don't want you to wind me like a baby and make me fart. 636 00:53:40,546 --> 00:53:45,255 I mean, it was everywhere, so we had to cover the stain with a pile of books, 637 00:53:45,380 --> 00:53:49,130 But the guy he couldn't even see anyway, so we totally got away with it. 638 00:53:49,255 --> 00:53:52,380 Just. -That is amazing. -Yeah. 639 00:53:52,505 --> 00:53:56,046 That's crazy times. 640 00:54:03,588 --> 00:54:06,421 I have a cleaner for things like that. 641 00:54:07,505 --> 00:54:10,338 Yeah, you mentioned. 642 00:54:13,671 --> 00:54:15,880 What would you have used? - Me? 643 00:54:16,005 --> 00:54:19,588 If you had to? To get out the stain? What would you have used? 644 00:54:21,046 --> 00:54:25,088 I don't know. - Okay. Like a powder? 645 00:54:26,796 --> 00:54:29,005 Or a spray? 646 00:54:31,421 --> 00:54:34,921 Or mousse? A mousse thing? 647 00:54:39,630 --> 00:54:42,213 You really can't get drunk? 648 00:54:42,546 --> 00:54:45,088 It's to do with my veins, they are impervious. 649 00:54:45,213 --> 00:54:47,313 Impervious. - Um hm. 650 00:54:48,255 --> 00:54:50,838 Im-perrrr-vious. 651 00:54:51,096 --> 00:54:53,963 Yeah. -I'm gonna get impervious with you, you filthy animal. 652 00:54:54,088 --> 00:54:57,171 Can I get you some water? Can I get you some of this? 653 00:54:57,421 --> 00:54:59,671 Ooh, I like your drapes. 654 00:55:04,213 --> 00:55:10,213 Bob! You are with British Gas! Don't let those fuckers push you around. Doris. 655 00:55:31,046 --> 00:55:33,146 June... - Yeah? 656 00:55:35,296 --> 00:55:38,296 You're a really lovely woman, and you're beautiful. 657 00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:40,980 Thanks. 658 00:55:41,213 --> 00:55:44,005 You're not so bad yourself, SuperBob. 659 00:55:45,255 --> 00:55:48,380 I thought you were gonna be one of those people 660 00:55:48,505 --> 00:55:51,421 who was like, above everyone else. 661 00:55:52,255 --> 00:55:55,296 You know. Because you can fly. 662 00:55:57,171 --> 00:56:01,963 But you're not. You're real, like me. 663 00:56:03,421 --> 00:56:06,171 Will you kiss me? - I can't. 664 00:56:07,255 --> 00:56:12,321 Why? We already did. -I'm sorry, I can't do this. -Do what? It's just a kiss. 665 00:56:12,446 --> 00:56:15,746 I can't continue with this date, it wouldn't be right. 666 00:56:15,871 --> 00:56:20,088 It's nothing that you've done. I don't want to take advantage of you. 667 00:56:20,213 --> 00:56:23,088 I don't mind. - I want to take advantage of Doris. 668 00:56:23,213 --> 00:56:26,630 I didn't mean it like that, I want... 669 00:56:28,171 --> 00:56:32,880 What I mean is, I want to be with 670 00:56:34,546 --> 00:56:36,646 Doris. 671 00:56:36,838 --> 00:56:39,005 Oh, just kiss her, you fucking plank. 672 00:56:39,130 --> 00:56:43,630 Barry, I didn't ask for your input. - She's fit. - I like Doris. 673 00:56:43,755 --> 00:56:45,855 Very fit. 674 00:56:46,046 --> 00:56:49,296 Where have you been all night? - I'm keeping me eye on the gnomes. 675 00:56:49,421 --> 00:56:53,171 I didn't know I had gnomes. - Yeah, you've got two. 676 00:56:54,880 --> 00:56:57,671 June, listen. - Bob, what I... 677 00:56:59,421 --> 00:57:01,713 Oh my god. They're here. 678 00:57:01,838 --> 00:57:04,588 Who's here? - Uh, How does my hair look? 679 00:57:04,713 --> 00:57:10,463 Your hair looks fine, why? Who's here? - Shoes. Ok Ok. 680 00:57:11,171 --> 00:57:13,880 Good evening, Bob. - Hello. - June... 681 00:57:14,005 --> 00:57:18,045 Now, have you finished all your paperwork? - Let's go, darling, let's get you dressed. - Darling? -Off! 682 00:57:18,088 --> 00:57:20,968 Are we going somewhere? - Oh yes. Why is she calling me darling? Sorry... 683 00:57:21,005 --> 00:57:24,713 I just... didn't I just say something? - Don't mind me - You didn't hear. 684 00:57:25,171 --> 00:57:29,713 Okay. His hands are down my pants, why is that happening? -Just enjoy it, babe. 685 00:57:29,838 --> 00:57:33,130 Why am I wearing this? - It's the internationally approved uniform, Bob. 686 00:57:33,255 --> 00:57:38,255 They approved this? -Yes. - Were they blindfolded? - We have to show willing, okay, it's time to make ties. 687 00:57:38,838 --> 00:57:41,880 Yes. I'm aware it sounds strange. She told me not to make it to that lunch. 688 00:57:42,005 --> 00:57:45,522 Theresa told you not to come? -That you wouldn't make it, and that we would go to this thing tonight. 689 00:57:45,546 --> 00:57:47,958 Okay so I don't even know what this is. I don't have time for any of this... 690 00:57:47,982 --> 00:57:50,963 I've got to do the most important thing I've ever done. 691 00:57:51,088 --> 00:57:53,463 Teresa, why am I here? - It doesn't matter. 692 00:57:53,588 --> 00:57:57,180 What's going on, why am I dressed like a New Romantic? 693 00:57:57,305 --> 00:58:01,346 June told me you stopped her from coming to lunch, she told me everything. 694 00:58:01,471 --> 00:58:03,505 Yes, I have pulled a lot of strings today, 695 00:58:03,630 --> 00:58:07,405 Do you have any idea the nightmare your "No" stunt has caused me? 696 00:58:07,530 --> 00:58:10,005 Theresa, we need to talk about this. 697 00:58:10,130 --> 00:58:15,213 I spoke to June, yes. For the greater good, okay? And it's all fine. 698 00:58:15,630 --> 00:58:17,713 Is it? 699 00:58:17,838 --> 00:58:24,338 Oh, Bob. We're good at this. This is what we do. 700 00:58:26,130 --> 00:58:28,230 We save the world. 701 00:58:41,535 --> 00:58:44,046 Bob, this is Xiang Chao from the Chinese Senate. 702 00:58:44,171 --> 00:58:47,263 He's here to talk about a set-down on nuclear policies. 703 00:58:47,388 --> 00:58:49,588 Nice to meet you. Yeah, ciao. - I'm pleased to. 704 00:58:49,713 --> 00:58:52,505 George Pardumo from Greece. - Please to meet you.. 705 00:58:52,630 --> 00:58:55,005 Yeah, it's nice to.... 706 00:58:55,130 --> 00:58:59,296 Theresa, this is not an explanation. - Dane Abudaui. 707 00:58:59,755 --> 00:59:04,671 Hello, Dane. - Are you in a mood? -Yeah, I'm in a mood, because you told me... - Dallas Tango. 708 00:59:04,796 --> 00:59:07,676 What? - Super to meet you - Nice to meet you. - What do you mean, "what"? 709 00:59:07,713 --> 00:59:11,130 This is the French Senator Eleusi Savoir. 710 00:59:11,671 --> 00:59:15,546 Enchante. - We knew that you liked June, Bob. It was obvious to anyone 711 00:59:15,671 --> 00:59:19,171 All that hanging around the library... - So you manipulated it. - I did not. No. 712 00:59:19,296 --> 00:59:24,046 She really does like you, just take a look. - It's true, I do. -Are you all right? 713 00:59:24,546 --> 00:59:26,630 There's nothing sinister going on here, Bob. 714 00:59:26,755 --> 00:59:30,088 I just needed to make sure that she was OK. I'm just looking out for you. 715 00:59:30,213 --> 00:59:33,838 It's not looking out for me if you make her go out with me. It's not real. 716 00:59:33,963 --> 00:59:35,988 You are sounding paranoid. 717 00:59:36,113 --> 00:59:40,213 Well, she did ask me to ask you out. But I would have asked you out anyway. 718 00:59:40,338 --> 00:59:44,889 Stand down, June, just stand down and smile. -Oh so there you go Theresa this has to stop. I need my own life back. 719 00:59:44,913 --> 00:59:48,171 This is the dignitary from Rome, Giuseppe Kotelo. 720 00:59:48,671 --> 00:59:52,588 Good evening. - Bona Sera. - Thank you. 721 00:59:52,713 --> 00:59:58,171 I really think you should give June chance she really does have an awful lot to recommend her. - I want Doris. 722 00:59:58,463 --> 01:00:03,046 What? -My cleaner. - I know who she is, Bob. 723 01:00:03,171 --> 01:00:05,546 Come and shake the hand... - Don't. Never mind. 724 01:00:05,713 --> 01:00:10,588 I've decided. If she will let me, I want to be with Doris. 725 01:00:10,755 --> 01:00:15,088 Ah! This is Doris? - No, this is not Doris. -Yes! 726 01:00:18,796 --> 01:00:22,588 Doris is from Colombia. You just can't be with anyone from Colombia. 727 01:00:22,713 --> 01:00:24,921 Why not? -It's complicated. 728 01:00:25,588 --> 01:00:28,755 And she's a cleaner. It's really not the right narrative. 729 01:00:29,505 --> 01:00:33,421 You should be with June. June's fun. And she's American. 730 01:00:33,546 --> 01:00:36,380 But I don't want to be with June. - Bob, she's right there. 731 01:00:36,505 --> 01:00:39,505 It's fine, I've told her. - It's fine. 732 01:00:39,963 --> 01:00:43,838 Are you all right? - Okay, you don't have to be with her, Bob. 733 01:00:43,963 --> 01:00:49,546 You just have to stand near her sometimes. It's what we need. -Who is "we"? 734 01:00:49,671 --> 01:00:55,296 The United Kingdom. Great Britain. The MOD. You. All of us. 735 01:00:55,421 --> 01:01:00,588 Now you need to start listening to me again. It was a very bad decision you made not to shake hands with the Senator. 736 01:01:00,713 --> 01:01:03,130 Alexis Sanjiv, this is SuperBob. 737 01:01:03,255 --> 01:01:07,046 Okay so that’s what this is about. All right. Okay, thank you. 738 01:01:07,713 --> 01:01:10,588 Sometimes saving the world isn't about flying into danger, 739 01:01:10,713 --> 01:01:13,463 Sometimes it's about making sacrifices of your own. 740 01:01:13,588 --> 01:01:16,505 Do you have any idea the sacrifices I've made? 741 01:01:16,921 --> 01:01:21,296 Let's go. - June! Seriously. I do not know how I could make this any clearer. This is weird. 742 01:01:21,421 --> 01:01:26,255 Do I not get to have love? -June, could you just give us a moment please? -Yes, of course. 743 01:01:28,380 --> 01:01:30,588 Let's talk about Doris. -Please. 744 01:01:30,713 --> 01:01:35,505 Do you know what is right for her? -Yes. -Not you, what's right for Doris. -Yes, of course I do. 745 01:01:35,630 --> 01:01:38,005 What does she want, Bob? -She wants... 746 01:01:39,255 --> 01:01:42,713 She wants a nursery in Colombia, that is what she's always wanted. 747 01:01:45,963 --> 01:01:48,038 And this is Colonel Matayzu. 748 01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:51,671 Bob, Bob, Bob... It is an honor to meet you. 749 01:01:52,130 --> 01:01:57,380 We are so looking forward to having your help in combating the uprising in our country. 750 01:01:57,505 --> 01:02:02,672 Why am I here, Theresa? - Bob, what do you think this Weapons Summit is about? 751 01:02:04,671 --> 01:02:09,005 I hadn't seen that. - You're the only weapon anyone cares about. 752 01:02:10,796 --> 01:02:13,255 And this is Senator Jackson. 753 01:02:13,921 --> 01:02:19,630 Bob Kenner! I am so pleased you've decided to play ball, and 754 01:02:20,255 --> 01:02:25,255 Obviously I'm delighted to hear about your union to this lovely American lady. 755 01:02:27,171 --> 01:02:29,838 Is this the man who needed a handshake earlier today? 756 01:02:29,963 --> 01:02:32,338 Well, yeah, but we're all good now. 757 01:02:34,130 --> 01:02:38,880 Ha, ha, ha, yeah, right. So, wait - So all of this, all of this is so you can have a handshake? 758 01:02:40,838 --> 01:02:42,938 Is that right? 759 01:02:45,088 --> 01:02:47,188 Okay. 760 01:02:47,838 --> 01:02:49,880 Ha, ha, ha, there ya go. 761 01:02:50,005 --> 01:02:52,013 Was it worth it? 762 01:02:52,138 --> 01:02:56,138 Hey, I am so glad we could sort out that Colombia situation. 763 01:02:58,130 --> 01:03:00,796 What Colombia situation? -Your cleaner. 764 01:03:01,088 --> 01:03:06,880 We bought her a nursery! And a first class ticket for Bogotá, next flight. 765 01:03:11,046 --> 01:03:15,171 You sent her away? - It's what you wanted, right? 766 01:03:16,213 --> 01:03:19,963 Are you joking? - I thought you said you wanted what was right for her, Bob. 767 01:03:20,088 --> 01:03:23,505 Hey, he wants what's right for all of us, don't you, Bob? 768 01:03:23,630 --> 01:03:26,630 Yeah. Just like you wanted a handshake. 769 01:03:26,755 --> 01:03:31,338 Hey, everybody is here to broker a real sweet deal for you, Bob. 770 01:03:31,463 --> 01:03:34,255 This is gonna be a lot of money in it for you. 771 01:03:34,463 --> 01:03:38,880 I'm just shaking your hand. Just like you wanted. 772 01:03:39,255 --> 01:03:43,546 Bob. - And SuperBob, our very own Bob Kenner is here today... 773 01:03:43,671 --> 01:03:46,005 Is this the handshake you wanted? 774 01:03:46,380 --> 01:03:49,963 Bob Kenner! Put Senator Jackson down now! 775 01:03:50,421 --> 01:03:53,671 It is supposed to be my day off! 776 01:04:00,013 --> 01:04:03,355 I don't care if you bring him down or not, just shoot the bastard! 777 01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:07,030 Unconfirmed reports are coming in about an explosion at the Ministry of Defense. 778 01:04:07,155 --> 01:04:09,264 The explosion at the Ministry of Defense was caused by SuperBob... 779 01:04:09,288 --> 01:04:12,213 London is tonight on high alert as SuperBob... 780 01:04:12,338 --> 01:04:16,930 Police and military forces around the world are combining their efforts to track down SuperBob. 781 01:04:17,055 --> 01:04:19,288 We have not lost control of SuperBob. 782 01:04:19,413 --> 01:04:21,788 Everyone is to stay calm, and not jump to conclusions. 783 01:04:21,913 --> 01:04:24,671 Right. So, where exactly is he? - I can't tell you that. 784 01:04:24,796 --> 01:04:29,171 There've been unconfirmed sightings of SuperBob in New York, Tokyo, Bogotá... 785 01:04:30,588 --> 01:04:34,630 I'm looking for somebody, her name is Doris. She'll be on a flight from England. 786 01:04:34,755 --> 01:04:38,046 Uh, what is her last name? - Ohhh... that is something I should know. 787 01:04:40,546 --> 01:04:44,671 My Mum would know. Can I call my Mum? Guh! I know where she is! 788 01:04:45,255 --> 01:04:48,689 My man said he heard mumbling about someone called Morris. - ...said he was screaming "Forrest!" 789 01:04:48,713 --> 01:04:52,546 apparently asking for a Florist. - is, or what he would do next. 790 01:04:52,671 --> 01:04:57,713 Tensions between the United Kingdom and the United States of America have never been higher. 791 01:04:57,838 --> 01:05:02,838 The Ecuadoran Embassy has offered SuperBob political asylum. -Stay in your homes, try to hide. 792 01:05:02,963 --> 01:05:08,296 Whatever he has planned, it could spell disaster for us all. 793 01:05:10,088 --> 01:05:14,088 Doris. We're meant to be together. 794 01:05:15,796 --> 01:05:19,421 I don't even feel like I have to say it, because I feel like you probably know. 795 01:05:19,546 --> 01:05:22,630 'Cause I know, and I think I've probably always known. 796 01:05:23,455 --> 01:05:26,513 The MOD is assuring the public that SuperBob is not dangerous. 797 01:05:26,638 --> 01:05:31,106 The British government asking the public to remain calm. -Military helicopters are at high alert, 798 01:05:31,130 --> 01:05:34,963 ready to strike... -Peckham High Street, where he allegedly bought a Wham Bar. 799 01:05:35,088 --> 01:05:39,255 I do, I do love your face. I said it before and it sounded like a joke, 800 01:05:39,380 --> 01:05:43,255 But I mean it. I like your face, I like what it does. 801 01:05:43,380 --> 01:05:47,713 I like what it has to say, and you know I like everything with the face, 802 01:05:48,005 --> 01:05:51,130 I wouldn't want a face in a jar, just looking at me... 803 01:05:51,713 --> 01:05:54,588 A huge number of witnesses report seeing SuperBob landing in Peckham 804 01:05:54,713 --> 01:05:58,106 Police are heading towards the Peckham area. - someone claims he was eating a Wham Bar. 805 01:05:58,130 --> 01:06:01,505 The international man hunt is zeroing in on Peckham. - South London. 806 01:06:01,630 --> 01:06:05,505 The Prime Minister has asked for SuperBob to surrender himself immediately. 807 01:06:05,630 --> 01:06:09,130 Okay, don't say any of that. No not. Don't open your mouth, 808 01:06:09,255 --> 01:06:15,130 Just... just walk in, and... try and kiss her. 809 01:06:17,963 --> 01:06:21,838 The MOD has described it as a diplomatic nightmare. 810 01:06:21,963 --> 01:06:27,046 Authorities say that if Kenner can not be stopped, he can at least be contained. 811 01:06:27,171 --> 01:06:32,588 Doris! - You came to see me again! - What? No, I haven't come to see you, Mum. - Charming. 812 01:06:32,713 --> 01:06:36,481 What are you doing here, Bob? Where's June? -Why are you asking me about June? I'm here to see you. 813 01:06:36,505 --> 01:06:39,963 You came to see me. - I haven't come to see you, Mum. I already saw you today! 814 01:06:40,088 --> 01:06:44,213 A short while ago security cameras caught SuperBob arriving outside of his Mother's care home. 815 01:06:44,338 --> 01:06:46,430 The authorities have been mobilized. 816 01:06:46,555 --> 01:06:50,197 I went all the way to Colombia, then I went to the airport, there were no flights to Colombia tonight. 817 01:06:50,221 --> 01:06:54,963 I know. - I know you know, that's why you're here! -A large crowd has gathered outside the care home... 818 01:06:55,088 --> 01:06:58,338 And it appears local residents are not letting the authorities inside. 819 01:06:58,463 --> 01:07:04,296 SuperBob has been very good to us, right? After all he's done to us, he's a Peckham People. Peckham People! 820 01:07:04,421 --> 01:07:07,546 A Gospel choir has formed a human shield around the care home... 821 01:07:07,671 --> 01:07:11,338 It's a stand-off. In Peckham. - What is all this trouble? 822 01:07:11,463 --> 01:07:13,755 This trouble? It's because of you. 823 01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:17,088 Don't bring me into your mess, Bob. I am nothing to do with your mess. 824 01:07:17,213 --> 01:07:19,755 If you think I'm responsible for any of this, 825 01:07:19,880 --> 01:07:25,046 then you are very disrespectful of me, of my culture... -Doris, please! Shut up for a minute! 826 01:07:25,171 --> 01:07:31,255 He's been hiding inside, I'm going to try to get in there, see if I can have a chat or a word with him. 827 01:07:32,088 --> 01:07:35,088 I've come here to be nice to you. 828 01:07:35,880 --> 01:07:38,046 I need to tell you something. 829 01:07:44,630 --> 01:07:48,755 Hey, Bob. -You know Javier. 830 01:07:49,338 --> 01:07:53,671 Yeah. -Javier just... - Good to see you again. 831 01:07:53,796 --> 01:07:57,630 Hey, Javi. Do you work and night shift as well? 832 01:07:58,338 --> 01:08:02,380 No Bob. Maybe you will understand this. 833 01:08:03,838 --> 01:08:07,380 I found out Doris was going to leave for Colombia, 834 01:08:07,505 --> 01:08:11,588 And I realized something I think I've always known. 835 01:08:13,213 --> 01:08:15,796 We are meant to be together. 836 01:08:16,296 --> 01:08:19,963 And I know it. Doris knows it. All of Peckham knows it, 837 01:08:20,088 --> 01:08:24,005 It's so blindingly obvious, it was staring me in the face. 838 01:08:24,296 --> 01:08:27,505 And I spent too long just doing what I was told, 839 01:08:27,671 --> 01:08:33,213 Scared to say "No" to anything. Scared to... stand up for myself. 840 01:08:35,546 --> 01:08:40,505 And then I heard that she was leaving and I thought now is the time for me to say "No". 841 01:08:41,130 --> 01:08:45,338 No, Doris. I do not want you to leave. 842 01:08:47,463 --> 01:08:50,921 I want you here. With me. 843 01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:56,838 Do you understand this, Bob? - Yeah, I have some idea, yeah. 844 01:08:57,546 --> 01:09:01,963 After all, I love your face. - oh, fuck off. 845 01:09:03,671 --> 01:09:06,796 Is Bob inside? - Yes, he is inside. - Okay, what's he doing in there? 846 01:09:06,921 --> 01:09:09,838 None of your business, it's something important. 847 01:09:10,796 --> 01:09:15,213 That's great news, congratulations. - Thank you, Bob. 848 01:09:19,296 --> 01:09:24,921 Well I don't know why I'm hanging around here, he loves your face. This is stupid, I should go. -Bob. 849 01:09:25,046 --> 01:09:29,546 What? - What did you want to say to me? 850 01:09:36,505 --> 01:09:41,213 I just wanted to say goodbye. - Goodbye, Bob. 851 01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:49,046 Thank you. For everything. 852 01:09:50,588 --> 01:09:52,688 Goodbye. -Goodbye. 853 01:10:24,463 --> 01:10:28,421 Okay. Okay. 854 01:10:32,963 --> 01:10:35,063 Okay. 855 01:10:36,963 --> 01:10:39,713 I think that's enough goodbye. 856 01:10:47,380 --> 01:10:50,213 Oh, good to catch up, Bob. Take care. 857 01:10:51,005 --> 01:10:54,546 What did you want to say to me? - I think you should go. 858 01:10:54,671 --> 01:10:57,088 What? - To Colombia, I think you should go. 859 01:10:57,213 --> 01:11:00,213 You see, this is why I love you. Doris I would never want you to leave. 860 01:11:00,338 --> 01:11:04,546 For the kids. You were supposed to be working with children, you have a gift for it. 861 01:11:04,671 --> 01:11:08,511 How do you know that, you have never seen me with a child? -You looked after me for three years. 862 01:11:08,546 --> 01:11:11,005 You want me to go? -Yeah. 863 01:11:11,755 --> 01:11:17,171 But... I could come with you. - How? 864 01:11:17,421 --> 01:11:20,455 I can fly faster than a speeding bullet, I can work from anywhere. 865 01:11:20,580 --> 01:11:24,338 You know what, I could come with you, I have family there. That's easier, Doris. 866 01:11:24,463 --> 01:11:28,130 Maybe he's right. You should help the kids. -He makes a good point. 867 01:11:28,255 --> 01:11:31,463 We can get a house. I could work from there. -True. 868 01:11:31,588 --> 01:11:35,171 Yes, but the visa application... Oh, it's very impractical. 869 01:11:35,296 --> 01:11:39,930 I am resident, Doris, so... much easier. - We should go. 870 01:11:40,055 --> 01:11:43,713 The MOD will not like it. - Oh, fuck the MOD. - Language! 871 01:11:43,838 --> 01:11:47,838 You would do that for me? -Take my hand. - Mmm, not flying. -We'll walk. 872 01:11:47,963 --> 01:11:52,630 I'm very strong. -I'm fuckin' invulnerable. -But you see Doris, I am vulnerable. 873 01:11:52,755 --> 01:11:56,130 I can fly. -I have a nice car. -I hate flying. -She hates the flying. 874 01:11:56,255 --> 01:11:59,921 I'm gonna kill you, mate. .. Let's go. 875 01:12:01,296 --> 01:12:05,130 Ah, my bag. -Ai, cabrone! -I'm so sorry, Javier, I've been crushing hands all day. 876 01:12:05,255 --> 01:12:07,689 That is really unlike me, that was out of order. You seem like a nice man. - Goodbye, Mrs. Kenner. 877 01:12:07,713 --> 01:12:12,421 I wish you all the best, we are gonna go. -Good. -I love you, Mum. -I love you too. 878 01:12:12,546 --> 01:12:17,296 Bye, Ted. - And you know what would make me happy, don't you? -What's that, Mum? -Grandchildren! 879 01:12:17,421 --> 01:12:21,504 Oh, God. The one thing I don't need in bed is more pressure. 880 01:12:23,838 --> 01:12:26,046 Is the Jamaican girl still here? 881 01:12:30,130 --> 01:12:36,671 A whistle blower within the MOD has stated that no one in the department has any idea what SuperBob will do next 882 01:12:40,130 --> 01:12:42,255 The MOD strenuously denying this allegation, 883 01:12:42,380 --> 01:12:48,380 They insist that there is no reason to panic but, for the time being, he remains unaccounted for. 884 01:12:54,880 --> 01:12:59,796 Why is Bob hiding? - He's not hiding. He's doing something important that does not concern you. 885 01:12:59,921 --> 01:13:03,463 The world waits to see what will happen when SuperBob emerges. 886 01:13:03,588 --> 01:13:09,463 All of you, all of you just take liberties, and you come in here to exploit SuperBob. 887 01:13:11,130 --> 01:13:16,463 The people of Peckham they are blocking all the doors to the care home here, as you can see, 888 01:13:16,588 --> 01:13:20,380 and failing to allow any of the authorities inside. 889 01:13:38,671 --> 01:13:41,171 Okay. So. 890 01:13:44,838 --> 01:13:48,213 What are you doing? Jesus Christ, that is very dangerous! 891 01:13:48,588 --> 01:13:51,630 I'm really sorry. - I'm invincible, what do you think you're doing? 892 01:13:51,755 --> 01:13:54,046 That is really dangerous. There are children about! 893 01:13:54,171 --> 01:13:57,046 I'm sorry everyone. Really sorry. I've thrown the whole mood down. 894 01:13:57,171 --> 01:14:00,838 Don't fire a gun... Why is all this? It's a complete waste of money. 895 01:14:01,796 --> 01:14:05,046 This is ruined. I sleep in this! 896 01:14:05,213 --> 01:14:07,313 You all look very foolish. 897 01:14:07,671 --> 01:14:11,171 There's something very important I have to say, if you don't mind. 898 01:14:13,088 --> 01:14:17,713 I am resigning from the MOD. I am going freelance. 899 01:14:18,046 --> 01:14:20,755 I am no longer the property of Britain. 900 01:14:21,421 --> 01:14:25,505 And there's gonna be no more forms. No more fucking forms. 901 01:14:25,671 --> 01:14:29,171 There, I said it. I don't like forms, alight? There's going to be none of them. What? 902 01:14:29,296 --> 01:14:33,713 Self-assessment forms. -What's it -You go freelance you have to use self-assessment forms. 903 01:14:33,838 --> 01:14:38,047 Are you serious? Right. There's going to be one form. There's going to be one form, but that doesn't matter. 904 01:14:38,071 --> 01:14:40,189 You don't need to worry about it. That's not really the point. The point is, look... 905 01:14:40,213 --> 01:14:46,046 If any of you are in trouble, and you need help, contact me and I will help you. 906 01:14:46,171 --> 01:14:49,880 I don't know how you contact me, we used to have a system when I was with the MOD, 907 01:14:50,005 --> 01:14:55,172 Now we don't have, so... maybe we have a thing that flashes, like a red and, uh... 908 01:14:56,130 --> 01:15:01,296 Okay, fuck it! 07700900249. That's my number. All right? 909 01:15:01,796 --> 01:15:08,005 You can call me and I will help you. But don't abuse the - it's already ringing. 910 01:15:08,380 --> 01:15:12,005 Okay. I will not deliver pizzas, I'm saying that on live TV. 911 01:15:12,130 --> 01:15:15,088 That is off the table. I would like some time off. 912 01:15:20,755 --> 01:15:23,213 Someone very special in my life. 913 01:15:24,838 --> 01:15:27,671 I would like to try and make her happy. 914 01:15:30,046 --> 01:15:35,880 If any of you are in trouble and need you need help, you call me. 915 01:15:37,213 --> 01:15:39,313 And I will save you. 916 01:15:40,630 --> 01:15:44,796 I am not a civil servant. I'm SuperBob. 917 01:15:49,963 --> 01:15:52,063 Doris... 918 01:15:54,005 --> 01:15:56,105 Let's go. 919 01:15:57,671 --> 01:15:59,771 Bob... 920 01:16:03,296 --> 01:16:05,396 Bye, Theresa. 921 01:16:41,880 --> 01:16:44,655 Hey! -Hi. - How are you guys? 922 01:16:44,780 --> 01:16:46,796 Good, how are you? -Good. 923 01:16:46,921 --> 01:16:51,588 Great. You look really good. -So do you. Growing a beard. -Thank you. 924 01:16:53,546 --> 01:16:58,671 So here we are. Are you happy? - Am I happy? 925 01:17:02,046 --> 01:17:06,629 We don't need words. We don't need to see each other, to know. 926 01:17:06,880 --> 01:17:08,896 We... You know? 927 01:17:09,021 --> 01:17:14,296 We built a home together. We've got a home that we live in. 928 01:17:15,838 --> 01:17:17,938 Am I happy? 929 01:17:19,171 --> 01:17:24,671 I have been moved to Afghanistan. A relief. Very happy about that. 930 01:17:26,088 --> 01:17:30,505 You've no idea what my life was like before, a constant firefight. 931 01:17:30,880 --> 01:17:33,588 Afghanistan, this is easy. 932 01:17:34,963 --> 01:17:36,963 This is a joy. 933 01:17:37,088 --> 01:17:41,755 This is a delight. They'll be fine. 934 01:17:49,255 --> 01:17:54,088 She's a nightmare. She literally never shuts up, she doesn't stop talking. 935 01:17:54,255 --> 01:17:59,463 You have to send help, I can't take it anymore. - What did you say? -Nothing. 936 01:18:00,713 --> 01:18:03,463 I will see these films, you know? - Yeah. 937 01:18:04,171 --> 01:18:09,421 So why did you say something? - 'Cause I'm an idiot? -'Cause you are an idiot. -Okay. 938 01:18:09,546 --> 01:18:11,646 Come here. 939 01:18:17,213 --> 01:18:20,255 Hello? Okay, where are you? 940 01:18:20,921 --> 01:18:23,021 Hasta luego. 941 01:18:27,796 --> 01:18:31,963 Bye. - Go. Save the world. 942 01:18:36,296 --> 01:18:38,396 Hi Barry. 943 01:19:14,796 --> 01:19:20,213 We're looking at the rock, Th meteor if you like, that struck Bob from Peckham Rye Park. 944 01:19:20,880 --> 01:19:23,630 It could hold the key to his powers. 945 01:19:23,755 --> 01:19:28,046 If we find the answer to that, there's no telling what we could do. 946 01:19:28,171 --> 01:19:32,504 Have you found anything? - No. Six years, absolutely fuck-all. 947 01:19:32,755 --> 01:19:35,380 It might as well be a purple turd. 948 01:19:35,505 --> 01:19:41,796 So I had another accident at work, and Bob turned up, and it was just a superb experience. 949 01:19:43,713 --> 01:19:47,546 Got me out safely, lovely small talk, made sure I was okay, 950 01:19:47,671 --> 01:19:53,588 Didn't have to fill in any forms, and didn't stink of onions. So, thank you, Bob. 951 01:19:54,130 --> 01:19:58,255 Is he in there now? -No, he's not in there now. - Sorry. 952 01:19:58,380 --> 01:20:02,088 I mean, it's a proverbial home. -I see. 953 01:20:02,338 --> 01:20:07,255 You know? I mean, who writes your questions, man? -Sorry. 954 01:20:07,380 --> 01:20:11,630 So you got saved by Bob again, what was that like? -Yeah, I fell down a pothole. 955 01:20:11,755 --> 01:20:15,880 I got my leg trapped. He came, was very swift. 956 01:20:16,005 --> 01:20:21,213 Utterly charming, affable, looks great, and was just lovely. 957 01:20:21,713 --> 01:20:24,796 Just a really lovely experience. I'm really happy. 958 01:20:25,963 --> 01:20:28,421 So got a little thing for him, have you? 959 01:20:28,546 --> 01:20:33,046 I'm married. - It's impressive you know SuperBob. 960 01:20:33,171 --> 01:20:38,754 Saw the bloke from "Birds of a Feather" about three weeks ago just down Stevenage Road. 961 01:20:39,546 --> 01:20:42,213 You know... just, whatever. 962 01:22:14,963 --> 01:22:19,546 Doesn't it fly by? Doesn't it? Doesn't it though, like... whoosh. 963 01:22:22,546 --> 01:22:26,546 ... 137299