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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:18,817 It is to the United Nations that this film 2 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:22,488 is affectionately dedicated. 3 00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:25,090 If the United Nations didn't exist, 4 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:28,260 men would consider it an impossible dream. 5 00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:32,131 Because it does exist, men often abuse it. 6 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,800 That is human nature. 7 00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:37,736 This is a story about human nature... 8 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,372 its dreams... 9 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,345 its violence, 10 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:49,114 its power of reason. 11 00:00:50,985 --> 00:00:54,286 Uh, gentlemen, we will resume the voting. 12 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,488 Iceland. No. 13 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,157 India. No. 14 00:00:58,159 --> 00:00:59,725 Indonesia. No. 15 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,593 Iran. Uh, yes. 16 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,095 Iraq. Yes. 17 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,763 Ireland. Yes. 18 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,398 Israel. No. 19 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,067 Italy. S�. 20 00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,002 Japan. Oh, yeah. 21 00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:11,603 Jordan. Yes. 22 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,072 Laos. No. 23 00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,873 Lebanon. 24 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,842 Liberia. Uh, no. 25 00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,677 Libya. No. 26 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:22,114 Luxemburg. Uh... yes. 27 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,749 Mexico. S�. 28 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,284 Morocco. No. 29 00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,119 Nepal. No. 30 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,821 Netherlands. Yes. 31 00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:30,556 New Zealand. Yes. 32 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,324 Nicaragua. No. 33 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,126 Norway. Yes. 34 00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:36,428 Pakistan. Yes. 35 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,796 Panama. No. 36 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,565 Paraguay. No. 37 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,567 Peru. Uh, no. 38 00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,135 Philippines. Yes. 39 00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:45,104 Poland. No. 40 00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,005 Portugal. 41 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,674 Romania. No. 42 00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,843 Saudi Arabia. No. 43 00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:52,411 Spain. S�. 44 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,012 Sudan. No. 45 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:56,014 Sweden. Uh, yes. 46 00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,883 Thailand. Yes. 47 00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,751 Tunisia. No. 48 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:03,021 Turkey. Turkey! 49 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,190 Yes. 50 00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,092 Ukraine. No. 51 00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:09,261 United Arab Republic. No. 52 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:13,065 Union of South Africa. 53 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,566 Yes. 54 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,502 Soviet Union. No. 55 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,604 United Kingdom. Uh, yes. 56 00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:20,472 United States. Yes. 57 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,875 Uruguay. S�. 58 00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:24,810 Venezuela. S�. 59 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,712 Yemen. No. 60 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,647 Yugoslavia. No. 61 00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:40,092 Distinguished delegates, there's no need to count the votes, 62 00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:43,996 since once again, every nation has voted precisely as it did 63 00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:46,431 on the last six occasions. 64 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:49,301 The deadlock continues. 65 00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:52,571 Concordia. 66 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,707 There's a chance. Uh, I am, I am. 67 00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,500 Tsk. 68 00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:24,703 Um, Concordia, sir. 69 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,506 Concordia? What is Concordia? I don't know. I'm afraid... 70 00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,641 But it should be on the list, sir. 71 00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:06,044 Concordia? 72 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,146 Where's Concordia? 73 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,956 I'll be brief. 74 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:20,826 Mr. President, distinguished delegates, 75 00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:24,196 the Republic of Concordia has not voted previously 76 00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:28,533 for the very simple reason that we have been unable to catch the eye of the chair. 77 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,305 We realize to the full 78 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:35,474 our responsibility in this matter, 79 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:39,578 since we have it in our power to end this deadlock. 80 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:43,649 However, in spite of the great eloquence 81 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,817 of the United States delegate 82 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,920 and the surprisingly similar eloquence 83 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,456 of the delegate of the Soviet Union... 84 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:58,196 I haven't been able to understand what on earth we're all talking about. 85 00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,631 Hear, hear. 86 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,834 And in view of the fact that, in our opinion, 87 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,836 the amendment to the amendment of the amendment 88 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,706 of the draft resolution is incomprehensible, 89 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:11,476 my delegation regretfully abstains. 90 00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,719 Who are you, sir? I'm the president of Concordia. 91 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,888 Smile, please. Why? I have no reason to. 92 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,723 Where is Concordia? Why should I tell you? 93 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,259 The reason it still survives may be because no one can find it. 94 00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:29,428 Albrecht Frucht, Neues Mainzer Abendblatt. 95 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,330 Are you in favor of German rearmament? 96 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,832 German rearmament? My government was opposed to German armament 97 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,867 at the time of the First Crusade. 98 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,970 You mean you never had territorial ambitions? 99 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:43,875 In an atomic age, sir, it's wiser to remain a small target. 100 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,014 To the airport as quickly as possible. 101 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:52,150 We've got to get out of here before the Americans have time to offer us aid. 102 00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:19,177 Who's the character? 103 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,413 He's the president of Concordia. 104 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,482 That's the president? Yes. 105 00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:26,618 From the looks of him, he wouldn't get many votes if he ran over here. 106 00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,453 No, he wouldn't. 107 00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:31,423 But still, he gives Dad a lot of headaches. Oh? 108 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,574 Well... 109 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,710 Well, don't work too hard. 110 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,945 There's never any fear of that. 111 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:57,082 Freddie, isn't there anything you wanna say to me? 112 00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:01,887 Oh, sure. Give my kind regards to your mother and father. 113 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:04,623 Freddie, I love you. 114 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:07,759 Gee, uh, that's sweet of you. 115 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,529 Hey, wait for me! 116 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,697 Stop the plane, Joseph! 117 00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:14,833 What? I don't think I can. 118 00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:18,370 You must. It's Miss Juliet, the American ambassador's daughter. 119 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,546 I love you too! 120 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,248 Freddie? 121 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,251 That's mine. 122 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,467 Hi! 123 00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:50,135 Hi. 124 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,870 Oh, hi. Yes. 125 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,872 Now, what are you doing here, Miss Juliet? 126 00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:56,208 Well, I'm joining my parents during the university vacation. 127 00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:59,444 Ah. Here's my ticket. 128 00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:01,246 Yours? Yes. 129 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:04,816 You mean you paid for this trip? 130 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,321 Please, sit down anywhere. 131 00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:13,358 Okay, EL-AL Flight 961. 132 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,660 Come in on Number 9 runway. 133 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,730 Sorry, Air France 718. We'll bring you in presently. 134 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,135 EL-AL, go up again! Don't land yet! 135 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,137 Don't land yet! 136 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,206 There's a maniac down here taking off. 137 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,945 Maniac! 138 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:37,015 Which way are we going, Joseph? 139 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,551 Are we in a hurry? Oh, very much so. 140 00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:42,487 I must get back. It's Independence Day tomorrow night. 141 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:46,424 Yes, I must be with my people when the ax falls. 142 00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:51,329 I'm afraid, Miss Juliet, I've stirred up a hornets' nest in Washington. 143 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:55,967 It seems preposterous that, with all our technological know-how, 144 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:59,304 we can allow an entire country to get lost. 145 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:03,608 Have they an embassy here? I'm told they have a nominal embassy here, sir. 146 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,677 It's a furnished attic room on Z Street, 147 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,913 but the rent hasn't been paid for a year. 148 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,916 The FBI told me the landlord doesn't know whom to sue. 149 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:14,419 Well, if we can't call their ambassador here, we'll call our ambassador there. 150 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:17,022 But are you sure, sir, that we have an embassy there? 151 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,024 That's one mistake we've never made. 152 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,293 We have embassies every place. 153 00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,295 And we're going to pour aid in there 154 00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:27,999 till they appreciate the advantages of the democratic way of life! 155 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:32,437 We even pay their rent in Washington, if necessary. 156 00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:35,106 Hello? Hello? Paris, France. 157 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,442 I have an urgent call for Concordia. 158 00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,010 The number's Concordia 2. 159 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,646 Hello, Washington? Paris... 160 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:49,087 Two, did you say? One, two? 161 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,993 All right, all right, all right. 162 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,400 Hello, hello, hello. 163 00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:05,604 Concordian National Telephone System. 164 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,440 The American Embassy? Just a moment, please? 165 00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,419 Embassy of the Soviet Union. 166 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:27,525 Washington? Calling the American ambassador? 167 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:32,030 I'll pay 200 crowns to listen in. 168 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,032 Five hundred. Two-fifty. 169 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,400 Five hundred. 170 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:38,103 Three hundred. Not a crown more. 171 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:40,572 Five hundred. 172 00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:42,874 All right. Five hundred. 173 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,976 Capitalist. 174 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,281 I've got it. 175 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,284 Hello? 176 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,189 Washington? Are you sure? 177 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,592 Hooper, it's Washington for you. 178 00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:03,061 What kind of practical joke is this? 179 00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,997 All I ever got from Washington was a Christmas card. 180 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,565 In July. 181 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,902 Oh, Beulah. 182 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,604 I'm sorry, dear. 183 00:11:12,606 --> 00:11:13,938 Hello. 184 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:19,544 Beulah, pass me my robe. It's the Secretary of State. 185 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,212 Wow. Yeah. 186 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,249 Yes, sir? 187 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,084 Uh, now listen. 188 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,752 What's his name? Hooper, sir. 189 00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,454 Who? Oh, Hooper. 190 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:32,157 Moulsworth, A. Hooper, born June... 191 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:34,159 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 192 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,327 Are you there, Hooper? 193 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,329 Good to hear your voice again. 194 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:39,664 Now listen. 195 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:42,400 Even a country five miles square 196 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,969 has a vote equal to that of the United States. 197 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:49,741 He did? Abstained? 198 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:52,310 Almost a deadlock he could've ended? 199 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,579 I'll say I understand. 200 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:55,980 We need that vote! 201 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,650 The Russians want that vote as bad as we do. 202 00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:01,686 We can't afford to be caught with our pants down. 203 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,891 What are conditions like out there? 204 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,561 Conditions don't change much here, sir. 205 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,996 I don't think they've changed since the Romans left. 206 00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:15,734 Since the Romans left? When was that? 207 00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:19,170 What? Oh, I don't know the exact date, sir. 208 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:20,572 Before I sent you out there? 209 00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,975 Oh, sure. The ancient Romans. 210 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,711 The ancient Romans? 211 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:30,415 Mark him down for a medical check when he comes home on leave. 212 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:35,420 Are you there, Hooper? Now listen. 213 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:39,224 Yeah. Yeah. I understand. 214 00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:43,128 Oil. Uranium. Bridges. Schools. 215 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,897 Last year's missiles. Anything they may want. 216 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:51,503 Well, good-bye, and thanks a lot. 217 00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:53,505 Thank you, sir. 218 00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:56,141 Thank you. 219 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:02,147 You forgot to ask him where Concordia is. 220 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:07,418 Hello. I want the number in Moscow, urgently. 221 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,854 Just a moment, please. 222 00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,527 I'll get it. 223 00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:17,395 It might be for me. Nah. 224 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,266 Hello? 225 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,335 The Soviet embassy's going to talk to Moscow? 226 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,037 I'll pay 500 crowns. 227 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,071 A thousand. 228 00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,541 A thousand? Are you crazy? 229 00:13:29,543 --> 00:13:32,577 A thousand. Okay, okay. A thousand. 230 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,579 I knew you'd see reason. Hold on. 231 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,418 Da? 232 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,125 Randle! 233 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,127 ## Randle! 234 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,395 What's up? 235 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,463 Come down here. Bring your Russian grammar. 236 00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,999 The Soviet ambassador's talking to Moscow. 237 00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:58,937 ## Papa,telefon. 238 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:08,046 Papa,eta Moskva. 239 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,715 Moskva? Da. 240 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,630 Aahh... 241 00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:29,000 Mama, eta Moskva na telefon. Moskva? 242 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:33,304 Moskva. 243 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,180 Sit down. 244 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,749 I'm all wet, sir. Never mind. 245 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,729 Da, da. 246 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,130 Da. 247 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:10,942 Da? 248 00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,479 Shh! 249 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,413 Da. 250 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,694 Da, da, da, da... 251 00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:39,771 "No effort must be spared 252 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:44,909 "to bring Concordia into the Soviet orbit. 253 00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:47,979 "Offer them tractors, 254 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,848 "grain from the Ukraine, 255 00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,584 "a power plant. 256 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:57,455 "We will even send them the... 257 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,759 Bolshoi Ballet"? 258 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:09,300 So it's come to this... total peace. 259 00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:13,371 Beulah, we are not in this country for our own enjoyment. 260 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,306 You can say that again. I'll ignore that crack and tell you yet again... 261 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,841 Now, you listen to me, Hooper Moulsworth. 262 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,142 ...that you'd better behave like an ambassador's wife. 263 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,211 When I married you, you were a respectable businessman, 264 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,146 with limited but decent ambitions. 265 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:25,650 Then you got bitten by politics. A sense of duty, a sense of duty. 266 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,453 All this because I asked you to dance with the president tonight. 267 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:31,656 Once and for all, the president can't dance. 268 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:34,826 In that case, my dear, you will teach him. 269 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:38,529 Julie, baby! Welcome home! 270 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:42,100 Julie! Ooh, it's so good to see you. Hi. 271 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:46,304 Well, it's nice to see you both so... happy. 272 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:49,007 How'd you get here? There's no plane connection till tomorrow. 273 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,441 I flew Concordian. 274 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:54,612 Are you crazy? In that deathtrap! 275 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:57,615 You mean, you traveled with the president? I told you... 276 00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:02,086 Sure. He said he sure stirred up a hornets' nest in Washington. 277 00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,421 He's a doll. 278 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,523 Before I forget, uh, 279 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:09,127 here's this home chemistry set I brought for your son. 280 00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:12,897 Oh, thank you! But how could you afford it? 281 00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,333 Well, it does have a slight defect in it, 282 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,970 and I found it for 98 cents in a supermarket. 283 00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:21,839 Ninety-eight cents? That's almost a dollar. 284 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:24,709 - No. Uh-uh. - Oh, oh... 285 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:28,980 Well, one can hide nothing from you and your switchboard. 286 00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:31,115 Well, after all, it was because of my switchboard 287 00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,051 that you made me Minister of Foreign Affairs. 288 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,586 No, it's because you have the intelligence to make use 289 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,722 of what you hear on your switchboard. 290 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:40,558 That's why we made you Minister of Foreign Affairs, Otto. 291 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,894 What shall we do if the powers pour aid in here? 292 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,762 Refuse it. 293 00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:48,199 The Order of Odilo the Wise, please, Otto. 294 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:52,637 First or second class? In moments of crisis, both. 295 00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:56,474 Refuse aid? But you know how poor our people are. 296 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:59,177 Our entire wealth is composed of liquor, 297 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:02,313 a few Japanese cameras, and a library of forbidden books 298 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,582 confiscated by the Customs. 299 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:09,287 Our entire income is derived from deliberately printing stamps with defects in them. 300 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:12,290 And by now, even the philatelists are growing suspicious. 301 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:16,260 Under these circumstances, how can you ask our people to refuse aid? 302 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:20,631 Otto, for many centuries now, we have survived by paying each other in bad money. 303 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:24,535 Once all money is bad, it's as good as good money. 304 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:27,972 However, mix the two, and we will find out for the first time in our history 305 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,074 just how poor we really are. 306 00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,210 I'll be blunt about this, Otto. 307 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,579 We're so poor we can't afford aid. 308 00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:39,317 Ah, now you're unhappy. Why? 309 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:42,053 Well, I hate to say this, 310 00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:45,022 but why did you have to abstain at the United Nations? 311 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,024 Nobody would've noticed which way we voted. 312 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:50,695 We could've remained unknown and happy. 313 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:53,164 Otto, my gloves, please. 314 00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,633 The pair without the holes in them. 315 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,336 Both pairs have holes in them. 316 00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:01,506 In that case, either pair will do. 317 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:16,420 His Excellency the American Ambassador and family. 318 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:32,403 Shall we dance? Oh, sure. Go ahead. 319 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:44,749 His Excellency the Chinese Ambassador and Madam Wang Chin Chow. 320 00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:48,619 Good evening, Bartholomew. His Excellency the President 321 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,621 of the Concordian Republic. 322 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,597 Now. 323 00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,632 What do you mean by that? 324 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,834 Ask him to dance. 325 00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,537 Are you out of your mind? 326 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:10,141 Heavens, Beulah, you're an instrument of United States policy tonight. 327 00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:11,809 Namaste. 328 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,347 I'd dance with him myself if I could. 329 00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:19,250 Here? 330 00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:21,285 The Ukraine must be very big. 331 00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:22,453 Oh, no. 332 00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:25,456 What a happy coincidence. 333 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,659 Yes, isn't it? Yes, I have a very important date. I have a... 334 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,429 In honor of the Feast of National Independence, 335 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:35,099 the Soviet government would like to make you a gift... 336 00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:38,502 a million bushels of grain. 337 00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:41,138 That's very kind of you, Your Excellence, but where would we put it? 338 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,074 I mean, ours is a small country. 339 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,143 With all that grain, there wouldn't be any more room for the people. 340 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,783 Well, it could be spread over several years. 341 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,785 But why this generosity? 342 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:59,790 I wish to show you the advantages of the Eastern Bloc. 343 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,126 Let us send you the Bolshoi Ballet. 344 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:05,396 Hmm? More than a hundred dancers, 345 00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:08,633 Tchaikovsky's music... Full orchestra. 346 00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:11,302 Full orchestra. Well, it's... 347 00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:14,038 But they'd take up even more room than the grain, 348 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,540 and you can hardly spread them over several years. 349 00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,276 Yes, yes. 350 00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,077 Now. 351 00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,916 And play to win. 352 00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:31,722 Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Mr. President? 353 00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:33,624 A wallflower at your own ball. 354 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,193 Oh, shall we dance? Oh, I'd love to. 355 00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:39,163 Forgive me. 356 00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:43,401 You are not to be trusted, Igor. No. 357 00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:46,771 From now on, you will only laugh when I give you the signal. 358 00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:49,106 One, two, and... 359 00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:52,510 Yes. 360 00:22:01,587 --> 00:22:04,121 You dance divinely, Mr. President. 361 00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:06,023 You've been too sparing with your talents. We sit... 362 00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:09,226 - Oh, no, no, no, no. - Let's dance. 363 00:22:12,231 --> 00:22:14,298 Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. I... 364 00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:16,300 It was my fault. No, it was the fault of the music. 365 00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:18,903 We're dancing the Bulka. It's our national dance. Oh. 366 00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:21,339 It's supposed to be danced on the knees. 367 00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:23,808 On the knees? Oh! Oh! 368 00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:30,915 Do you mind if we sit for a moment? I'd like that, yes. 369 00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:33,751 My shoe strap is broken. 370 00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:39,990 Here's a table. 371 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,327 Ah, good news from Scotland, I hope. 372 00:22:43,329 --> 00:22:45,629 Very good. Yes, very good. Ah. 373 00:22:45,631 --> 00:22:48,032 I was, uh... 374 00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:50,835 Well, what do you know? Said the spider to the fly. 375 00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:54,572 Shrewd as they come, Mr. President. 376 00:22:54,574 --> 00:22:57,742 But since you're so shrewd, why didn't you vote for our amendment? 377 00:22:57,744 --> 00:22:59,577 I didn't understand your amendment. 378 00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:01,512 Oh, come, Mr. President. 379 00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:03,180 Any child can understand it. 380 00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:06,317 That may be so, but unfortunately, I'm no longer a child. 381 00:23:08,154 --> 00:23:11,522 Mr. President, it surprises me that you don't see the advantages 382 00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:13,624 of belonging to the Western Bloc. 383 00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:16,227 You've got to be strong to be free. 384 00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:19,730 How about some jet fighters, with instructors thrown in? 385 00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,832 Very generous of you, Your Excellency. Unfortunately, 386 00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:26,137 we can't accept any aircraft with landing speeds of over 50 miles an hour 387 00:23:26,139 --> 00:23:28,906 because they run over onto foreign soil. 388 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:31,275 The size of our country's against us. 389 00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:34,412 Do you need vaccines, serum, plasma? 390 00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:37,982 No. All we really need in that line is illness. 391 00:23:39,152 --> 00:23:41,152 There must be something you need, 392 00:23:41,154 --> 00:23:43,788 and I want to hear about it by 3:00 tomorrow. 393 00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:47,591 And since you're so healthy, we'll make it on the tennis court. 394 00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:51,095 Is that an ultimatum? No. 395 00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:54,365 It's a deadline. 396 00:23:54,367 --> 00:23:56,300 Telephone, Mr. President. 397 00:23:56,302 --> 00:23:59,003 Washington? London. 398 00:24:00,072 --> 00:24:03,040 London? Forgive me. 399 00:24:18,357 --> 00:24:22,059 Otto, that call didn't really come from London, did it? 400 00:24:22,061 --> 00:24:25,229 - Oh, no, of course not. - I thought you needed rescuing. 401 00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:35,606 What's this? Miss Juliet not dancing? 402 00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:38,676 I don't feel like it. 403 00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:41,212 Well, personally, I'm very glad to hear that. 404 00:24:41,214 --> 00:24:44,315 But why so miserable? You must know that in our country, 405 00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:46,484 misery is a punishable a crime. 406 00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,953 Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. 407 00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:51,155 I'll try and snap out of it. 408 00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:54,291 Yes, well, we're usually quite lenient with first offenders, 409 00:24:54,293 --> 00:24:57,261 especially when there are mitigating circumstances. 410 00:24:57,263 --> 00:25:00,831 That young fellow in New York... uh, charming. 411 00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,933 Freddie? Did you like him? 412 00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:04,935 Yes. 413 00:25:07,707 --> 00:25:10,407 Oh, I... I do miss him so much. 414 00:25:10,409 --> 00:25:12,776 Well, we'll leave. 415 00:25:12,778 --> 00:25:17,481 I think that misery is something that has to be enjoyed alone. 416 00:25:17,483 --> 00:25:19,550 Come, Otto. 417 00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:41,272 Who's this? Hamlet? 418 00:25:42,608 --> 00:25:44,708 Merciful heavens, Lieutenant Romanoff! 419 00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:49,813 A young man like you all alone on a night designed for happiness? 420 00:25:49,815 --> 00:25:53,183 I have failed, and I was trying to criticize myself. 421 00:25:53,185 --> 00:25:55,085 Criticize yourself? Why? 422 00:25:55,087 --> 00:25:58,722 You'll always find plenty of people to do that for you. 423 00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:03,260 Father told me I laughed excessively at your jokes. 424 00:26:03,262 --> 00:26:07,197 It is impossible to laugh excessively at my jokes. 425 00:26:08,568 --> 00:26:10,834 Do you really think so? 426 00:26:10,836 --> 00:26:13,170 I know it for a fact. 427 00:26:14,507 --> 00:26:16,807 You are very understanding. 428 00:26:16,809 --> 00:26:18,809 Now, if you will forgive me. No, no. 429 00:26:18,811 --> 00:26:22,680 If you must brood, go and do it in that direction. 430 00:26:22,682 --> 00:26:24,181 Why? Oh, I don't know. 431 00:26:24,183 --> 00:26:26,517 It's, uh, quieter. 432 00:26:26,519 --> 00:26:28,953 Fewer people. 433 00:26:28,955 --> 00:26:30,955 Thank you very much. 434 00:26:32,391 --> 00:26:34,558 You're much too impetuous. Why? 435 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,493 Why did you send him that way? Why not? 436 00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:39,430 A boy and a girl? Uh-huh. 437 00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:42,366 They're not just an ordinary boy and girl, are they? 438 00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:45,536 No. 439 00:27:21,107 --> 00:27:23,040 Are you real? 440 00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:25,409 What? 441 00:27:26,612 --> 00:27:29,747 I only ask because... 442 00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:34,251 you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. 443 00:27:34,253 --> 00:27:37,154 Me, beautiful? Well, I've been told I was pretty... 444 00:27:37,156 --> 00:27:39,923 Beautiful, beautiful! 445 00:27:39,925 --> 00:27:42,860 Everything about you surprises me, 446 00:27:42,862 --> 00:27:44,862 as does fine music, 447 00:27:44,864 --> 00:27:48,766 or poetry, or a seascape. 448 00:27:48,768 --> 00:27:51,168 People think a sky is blue. 449 00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:54,605 Sky is often green, orange, 450 00:27:54,607 --> 00:27:57,141 black, and purple. 451 00:27:57,143 --> 00:27:58,976 You are like that. 452 00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:01,311 Purple? 453 00:28:01,313 --> 00:28:03,947 Surprising. 454 00:28:03,949 --> 00:28:06,083 Your eyes are brown. 455 00:28:06,085 --> 00:28:09,086 One would expect dark hair, wouldn't one? 456 00:28:09,088 --> 00:28:11,655 And yet, it is golden. 457 00:28:12,758 --> 00:28:14,591 Golden. 458 00:28:15,995 --> 00:28:19,730 It's not dyed, is it? N-No. No. 459 00:28:19,732 --> 00:28:22,166 That is its natural color. 460 00:28:22,168 --> 00:28:24,168 Mm. 461 00:28:24,170 --> 00:28:26,270 Are you frightened? 462 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,074 Frankly, yes. 463 00:28:31,811 --> 00:28:34,611 I, also. 464 00:28:34,613 --> 00:28:37,281 Well, that's a relief. 465 00:28:39,985 --> 00:28:41,852 This is terrible. 466 00:28:42,955 --> 00:28:44,321 Why? 467 00:28:44,323 --> 00:28:48,025 If I did what I want to do, 468 00:28:48,027 --> 00:28:49,960 I might be misunderstood. 469 00:28:52,264 --> 00:28:54,298 How could you be? 470 00:28:55,701 --> 00:28:57,768 I don't even know you. 471 00:28:58,838 --> 00:29:00,771 Don't you? 472 00:29:02,641 --> 00:29:05,142 Perhaps I do. 473 00:29:05,144 --> 00:29:08,879 I've been waiting for 19 years. 474 00:29:08,881 --> 00:29:11,281 Only for 19 years? 475 00:29:11,283 --> 00:29:13,984 Mm-mm. Forever. 476 00:29:40,913 --> 00:29:43,046 Oh, Igor, I must go home. 477 00:29:43,048 --> 00:29:45,716 You have parents? Yes. 478 00:29:45,718 --> 00:29:47,484 A mom and dad. 479 00:29:47,486 --> 00:29:48,986 I, also. 480 00:29:48,988 --> 00:29:51,989 Oh, what a coincidence. 481 00:29:51,991 --> 00:29:55,125 Where will you eat lunch? 482 00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:57,294 Aren't you gonna sleep? 483 00:29:57,296 --> 00:30:00,264 What is old age for if not to sleep? 484 00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,667 Oh, Igor, I really... I... 485 00:30:46,679 --> 00:30:49,313 Ahhh. 486 00:30:49,315 --> 00:30:51,248 Oh. 487 00:30:53,886 --> 00:30:56,820 This is where I leave you, my dearest. 488 00:30:59,225 --> 00:31:02,659 Where do you live? In there. 489 00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:10,033 Well, what's the matter? 490 00:31:11,337 --> 00:31:14,838 I... I live there. 491 00:31:20,679 --> 00:31:23,180 Oh, no. No. 492 00:31:27,653 --> 00:31:29,987 Hup, two, three... 493 00:31:35,227 --> 00:31:36,760 Good morning! Uh... 494 00:31:37,863 --> 00:31:39,696 Morning, Mr. President! 495 00:31:39,698 --> 00:31:42,366 Great party last night. 496 00:31:46,472 --> 00:31:48,505 Hup, two, three, four. 497 00:31:59,718 --> 00:32:02,152 I... I must go. 498 00:32:05,057 --> 00:32:06,156 Juliet. 499 00:32:28,180 --> 00:32:30,948 Sorry if I woke you up. Good night. 500 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,293 As I was saying, 501 00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:45,996 Igor doesn't touch his breakfast, he sulks, 502 00:32:45,998 --> 00:32:48,131 he goes out without saying good-bye. 503 00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:50,634 Is he ill? He needs a wife. 504 00:32:50,636 --> 00:32:52,769 I remember the symptoms. 505 00:32:52,771 --> 00:32:56,440 In fact, dear, I have taken steps to procure him one. 506 00:32:56,442 --> 00:32:59,276 Oh, is that why you went to the post office? Of course. 507 00:32:59,278 --> 00:33:02,879 I, uh... I cabled my old friend, 508 00:33:02,881 --> 00:33:05,816 Honored Hero of Socialist Labor Vasili Zlotochienko. 509 00:33:05,818 --> 00:33:08,719 Zlotochienko? He has a daughter in the merchant marine. 510 00:33:08,721 --> 00:33:11,288 Oh, you are a genius. 511 00:33:11,290 --> 00:33:14,591 An Honored Hero of Socialist Labor in the family. 512 00:33:14,593 --> 00:33:18,261 It exceeds my wildest dreams. 513 00:33:24,570 --> 00:33:26,937 You always stop here. Why? 514 00:33:26,939 --> 00:33:28,872 The dog always stops here. 515 00:33:28,874 --> 00:33:32,609 You should train it to stop elsewhere. Why? 516 00:33:32,611 --> 00:33:35,779 This is a shop displaying decadent, bourgeois hats, Evdokia. 517 00:33:35,781 --> 00:33:38,749 What revolting confections. 518 00:33:38,751 --> 00:33:41,118 My advice to you is don't turn up. 519 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,719 How can I get out of it now? 520 00:33:42,721 --> 00:33:45,722 Well, do you feel like playing? I loathe exercise. 521 00:33:45,724 --> 00:33:47,858 Well, I'll send the boy to say you're ill. 522 00:33:47,860 --> 00:33:49,459 Attila! 523 00:33:51,397 --> 00:33:54,965 Go to the American Embassy and say the president regrets he has tennis elbow. 524 00:33:54,967 --> 00:33:57,634 You understand? 525 00:33:57,636 --> 00:34:00,937 All right. You can have a chocolate when you come back. 526 00:34:00,939 --> 00:34:04,741 What would the nation do without you, Otto? 527 00:34:15,487 --> 00:34:18,188 Oh, what a landscape. 528 00:34:18,190 --> 00:34:21,925 Do we any, uh... any laundry done? 529 00:34:21,927 --> 00:34:23,827 I do it all myself. 530 00:34:23,829 --> 00:34:26,430 Evdokia, you shouldn't work so hard. 531 00:34:26,432 --> 00:34:28,365 If you insist. 532 00:34:28,367 --> 00:34:31,802 There is a little shop near the embassy. 533 00:34:31,804 --> 00:34:34,237 No, no. Never mind. 534 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,673 Whatever made you think of the laundry? 535 00:34:36,675 --> 00:34:38,942 Oh, well, I don't know. I, uh, 536 00:34:38,944 --> 00:34:40,610 just, uh... 537 00:34:43,916 --> 00:34:45,849 Freddie? 538 00:34:45,851 --> 00:34:47,350 Who's Freddie? 539 00:34:47,352 --> 00:34:48,819 Freddie? 540 00:34:48,821 --> 00:34:50,821 Oh, it's worse and worse. 541 00:34:50,823 --> 00:34:53,256 He's the young man Juliet's in love with in New York. 542 00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:56,660 In New York? Does she cultivate fianc�s in every metropolis? 543 00:34:56,662 --> 00:34:59,729 Well, I don't know. I mean, it's hardly my business, is it? 544 00:34:59,731 --> 00:35:01,431 There's no need to be unpleasant about it. 545 00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,767 After all, this new affair was entirely your doing. 546 00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:06,636 Yes, I know. I'm... I'm... I'm very sorry. 547 00:35:06,638 --> 00:35:08,772 If we can't prevent Freddie from coming, 548 00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:10,774 you might as well send off Romanoff's cable. 549 00:35:10,776 --> 00:35:14,211 After all, it's easier to live with an eternal square 550 00:35:14,213 --> 00:35:16,146 than with an eternal triangle. 551 00:35:16,148 --> 00:35:18,315 Boy! 552 00:35:18,317 --> 00:35:20,117 Attila! 553 00:35:20,119 --> 00:35:22,185 Take this to the American Embassy at once. 554 00:35:22,187 --> 00:35:26,490 And since it's a greetings telegram, you will smile when you deliver it. 555 00:35:27,860 --> 00:35:30,727 All right. You shall have a chocolate when you come back. 556 00:35:37,736 --> 00:35:39,903 Oh, hello. 557 00:35:39,905 --> 00:35:42,706 What have you there, little boy? 558 00:35:42,708 --> 00:35:45,041 Oh, what a pretty telegram. 559 00:35:46,945 --> 00:35:49,546 I'll deliver it for you. 560 00:35:49,548 --> 00:35:51,882 Would you care for a chocolate? 561 00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:56,019 Two chocolates? 562 00:35:56,021 --> 00:35:58,021 You Concordians are all alike. 563 00:35:58,023 --> 00:35:59,956 Here. Take the box. 564 00:36:04,396 --> 00:36:08,031 "Whoopee." What does that signify? 565 00:36:08,033 --> 00:36:10,767 It is an American way of expressing delight. 566 00:36:10,769 --> 00:36:13,069 "Whoopee"? 567 00:36:13,071 --> 00:36:15,939 Mm. 568 00:36:15,941 --> 00:36:18,508 "Operation Concordia is on. 569 00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:21,077 "Flying shortest route. Keep secret. 570 00:36:21,079 --> 00:36:24,047 Wish to surprise. Signed, Freddie." 571 00:36:24,049 --> 00:36:27,884 Oh, it cannot be important. It's not in code. 572 00:36:27,886 --> 00:36:31,388 Your Excellency, there are times when the obvious 573 00:36:31,390 --> 00:36:34,024 is the most subtle of methods. 574 00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:37,861 Yeah, that's true. 575 00:36:40,933 --> 00:36:43,667 "Operation Concordia, Operation Concordia." 576 00:36:43,669 --> 00:36:46,937 That... That sounds military. It could mean that, uh... 577 00:36:49,041 --> 00:36:51,041 "Flying shortest route"... 578 00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:53,276 One airplane, or a thousand? 579 00:36:53,278 --> 00:36:55,011 A thousand? 580 00:36:55,013 --> 00:36:58,515 "Keep secret." Of course! 581 00:36:58,517 --> 00:37:00,517 "Wish to surp"... 582 00:37:00,519 --> 00:37:02,586 Surprise whom? The Concordians? 583 00:37:02,588 --> 00:37:04,654 Concordians? No, no. 584 00:37:04,656 --> 00:37:08,124 Us. Us. "Freddie." 585 00:37:08,126 --> 00:37:10,927 Freddie. Now, who is Freddie? 586 00:37:10,929 --> 00:37:13,964 "Freddie" is a code word, 587 00:37:13,966 --> 00:37:16,233 which I will crack as soon as I have a moment. 588 00:37:16,235 --> 00:37:18,435 You think so? 589 00:37:18,437 --> 00:37:21,004 Meanwhile, I think a call to Moscow is imperative. 590 00:37:21,006 --> 00:37:22,439 Oh, yes, yes. 591 00:37:22,441 --> 00:37:25,609 If the Americans take Moscow by surprise, 592 00:37:25,611 --> 00:37:27,544 our lives won't be worth living. 593 00:37:27,546 --> 00:37:29,212 Oh, I agree. 594 00:37:29,214 --> 00:37:32,482 Military information in a greetings telegram. 595 00:37:32,484 --> 00:37:35,418 I tell you, the Americans will stop at nothing. 596 00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:38,188 Moscow. The same number? 597 00:37:38,190 --> 00:37:41,891 I understand. Most urgent. 598 00:37:41,893 --> 00:37:44,127 "Voopee." 599 00:37:44,129 --> 00:37:45,929 "Voopee"? 600 00:37:53,505 --> 00:37:55,972 "Voopee." "Voopee." 601 00:37:55,974 --> 00:37:57,941 "Voopee." 602 00:38:01,346 --> 00:38:04,748 "Operation Concordia is on." 603 00:38:06,151 --> 00:38:09,286 "Wish to surprise"? 604 00:38:29,708 --> 00:38:32,709 I think a telegram intended for the American Embassy 605 00:38:32,711 --> 00:38:35,211 was delivered here by mistake. 606 00:38:35,213 --> 00:38:38,381 Oh, yes. Here it is. 607 00:38:38,383 --> 00:38:40,617 We have, of course, not opened it. 608 00:38:40,619 --> 00:38:42,552 Of course not. 609 00:38:43,955 --> 00:38:46,056 Would you care for a chocolate? 610 00:38:50,062 --> 00:38:51,995 I never eat chocolates. 611 00:39:02,941 --> 00:39:05,208 He is taking it to the Americans. 612 00:39:05,210 --> 00:39:08,244 I will send an ultimatum to Concordia at once. 613 00:39:08,246 --> 00:39:10,547 If we don't, the others will! 614 00:39:10,549 --> 00:39:13,516 Oh, at last the Capitalists 615 00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:17,487 will realize that if necessary, we will fight... 616 00:39:17,489 --> 00:39:19,522 to preserve peace. 617 00:39:19,524 --> 00:39:22,292 What was that? 618 00:39:22,294 --> 00:39:24,060 There's no doubt about it. 619 00:39:24,062 --> 00:39:26,830 Our intelligence has reported large-scale troop movements 620 00:39:26,832 --> 00:39:29,666 all over the satellite territories. 621 00:39:32,571 --> 00:39:35,405 Oh. Okay. Put him through. 622 00:39:35,407 --> 00:39:38,575 Okay, Tom. This is it. 623 00:39:42,347 --> 00:39:45,982 Hello. In code? 624 00:39:45,984 --> 00:39:49,185 Hello. This is Red Herring. 625 00:39:49,187 --> 00:39:51,621 Come in, Red Herring. 626 00:39:51,623 --> 00:39:54,224 This is Black Widow. 627 00:39:54,226 --> 00:39:56,226 Listen carefully now. 628 00:39:56,228 --> 00:40:00,997 Wild fowl never migrate on February 30th. 629 00:40:00,999 --> 00:40:01,931 Okay? 630 00:40:05,170 --> 00:40:09,472 There are ten red roses in my garden. Period. 631 00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:16,312 They bloom at dawn. Any other message? 632 00:40:16,314 --> 00:40:19,549 Oh, express our continued confidence and respect and all that sort of thing. 633 00:40:19,551 --> 00:40:21,484 You know, in your own terms. 634 00:40:21,486 --> 00:40:24,154 The flag is still there. Anything else? 635 00:40:24,156 --> 00:40:26,156 Tell him the army's right in there with him. 636 00:40:26,158 --> 00:40:28,591 One man's meat is another man's poison. 637 00:40:28,593 --> 00:40:31,428 Oh, we appreciate that, sir. 638 00:40:31,430 --> 00:40:32,862 And the navy. 639 00:40:32,864 --> 00:40:37,367 Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. 640 00:40:39,971 --> 00:40:41,404 Wow. 641 00:40:44,810 --> 00:40:46,810 What's the matter, Randle? Sit down. 642 00:40:46,812 --> 00:40:49,412 Brother, this is it. 643 00:40:49,414 --> 00:40:51,247 What do you mean? 644 00:40:51,249 --> 00:40:53,817 No more punches to pull, Mr. Ambassador. 645 00:40:53,819 --> 00:40:55,885 This could be the real thing. 646 00:40:57,489 --> 00:41:00,657 I want to marry you, with our parents' approval. 647 00:41:01,726 --> 00:41:05,395 Oh, Igor, you must be crazy. How? 648 00:41:05,397 --> 00:41:09,966 I don't know, but it can be done. 649 00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:15,004 I said I'd only be gone for a few minutes, and it's been hours. 650 00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:18,374 It's an endless surrender. 651 00:41:18,376 --> 00:41:21,945 Someday, one has to stop escaping and say, "No further." 652 00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:26,449 Someday, sweetheart. Not now. 653 00:41:33,758 --> 00:41:35,992 Where have you been? 654 00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:37,660 Nowhere. 655 00:41:37,662 --> 00:41:40,396 You know, it was lovely outside. 656 00:41:40,398 --> 00:41:42,732 You've been off your food lately. 657 00:41:42,734 --> 00:41:45,568 I wish you'd tell me what's wrong, sugar. 658 00:41:45,570 --> 00:41:47,637 You don't look so good yourself, Pop. 659 00:41:47,639 --> 00:41:51,374 I got problems. 660 00:41:53,979 --> 00:41:56,479 Ah, we're a happy family deep down, Julie. 661 00:41:56,481 --> 00:41:58,915 I guess it's just this life, 662 00:41:58,917 --> 00:42:01,584 this diplomacy. 663 00:42:01,586 --> 00:42:05,989 Sometimes I feel I'd like to give it all up and go back home. 664 00:42:05,991 --> 00:42:10,193 Give your mother and you a chance. And myself. 665 00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:14,998 Go back to the family business... electric light fixtures. 666 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,166 Something I know about. 667 00:42:17,168 --> 00:42:19,836 Something I can live with. 668 00:42:19,838 --> 00:42:22,272 That's enough for me. 669 00:42:22,274 --> 00:42:26,609 When you talk like that, Pop, I... I love you very much. 670 00:42:26,611 --> 00:42:29,045 There you are. Did you tell her, Hooper? 671 00:42:29,047 --> 00:42:31,814 I was just on the point of doing so, Beulah. 672 00:42:31,816 --> 00:42:35,552 Julie... Freddie! 673 00:42:35,554 --> 00:42:37,554 What about him? 674 00:42:37,556 --> 00:42:40,290 He's flying in here tomorrow morning. 675 00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:43,393 Isn't that great? 676 00:42:43,395 --> 00:42:45,828 Hmm? 677 00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:55,171 Julie, what's the matter? 678 00:42:56,508 --> 00:42:59,509 I'm not in love with Freddie! 679 00:42:59,511 --> 00:43:01,844 You're not? No! 680 00:43:03,381 --> 00:43:05,048 But you're engaged! 681 00:43:05,050 --> 00:43:08,484 He's flying out here! At his own expense. 682 00:43:08,486 --> 00:43:10,620 There's someone else, Hooper. 683 00:43:10,622 --> 00:43:13,489 You're right, Mom. There is. 684 00:43:13,491 --> 00:43:17,493 Someone else? There can't be. 685 00:43:17,495 --> 00:43:19,796 When did this happen? In New York? 686 00:43:21,132 --> 00:43:22,465 Here. 687 00:43:22,467 --> 00:43:25,134 Here? 688 00:43:25,136 --> 00:43:27,070 Who is this other guy? 689 00:43:28,173 --> 00:43:30,506 Igor Vadimovitch... 690 00:43:31,676 --> 00:43:34,277 Romanoff, the son of their ambassador. 691 00:43:34,279 --> 00:43:36,646 What? 692 00:43:39,651 --> 00:43:42,518 I think I'll go get some rest now. 693 00:43:49,694 --> 00:43:53,763 Maybe we didn't treat her right when she was a baby. 694 00:43:53,765 --> 00:43:56,265 On top of all my other worries... 695 00:43:56,267 --> 00:43:59,936 this, the enemy within. 696 00:43:59,938 --> 00:44:02,839 I was never really sold on Freddie. 697 00:44:02,841 --> 00:44:04,941 Not 100%. 698 00:44:04,943 --> 00:44:07,710 That is neither here nor there. 699 00:44:07,712 --> 00:44:11,447 The fact is that our daughter has fallen for a Commie! 700 00:44:11,449 --> 00:44:13,383 A Communist, Beulah! 701 00:44:13,385 --> 00:44:15,318 And when I say Communist, Beulah, 702 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,887 I don't just mean a guy who sent a food package 703 00:44:17,889 --> 00:44:20,523 to the wrong side in Spain. 704 00:44:20,525 --> 00:44:24,761 I mean the son of a high-ranking Soviet executive. 705 00:44:30,035 --> 00:44:32,969 Is it your habit to interrupt us during dinner? 706 00:44:32,971 --> 00:44:37,540 Sometimes it is necessary to disregard protocol, Your Excellency. 707 00:44:37,542 --> 00:44:40,076 I must denounce your son. 708 00:44:41,179 --> 00:44:42,578 My son? 709 00:44:47,252 --> 00:44:50,420 What's that on your cheek? Have you cut yourself? 710 00:44:50,422 --> 00:44:52,455 Lipstick. 711 00:44:54,926 --> 00:44:56,859 Let me denounce myself. 712 00:45:01,566 --> 00:45:03,499 I am in love. 713 00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:09,305 A fine time you choose, I must say, 714 00:45:09,307 --> 00:45:12,475 with Marfa Vassilievna Zlotochienko arriving tomorrow. 715 00:45:12,477 --> 00:45:13,643 Who? 716 00:45:13,645 --> 00:45:14,610 Your wife! 717 00:45:16,147 --> 00:45:18,981 My wife? 718 00:45:18,983 --> 00:45:23,986 The heroic commander of the Auxiliary Fisheries Protection vessel,Dostoievsky. 719 00:45:23,988 --> 00:45:26,522 But I've never even heard of this female. 720 00:45:26,524 --> 00:45:31,294 We intended to introduce you before the wedding. Besides, I... 721 00:45:31,296 --> 00:45:35,331 Are you incapable of listening to a conversation without writing everything down? 722 00:45:35,333 --> 00:45:37,400 Be careful, Vadim. 723 00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:39,702 These are family matters. Kindly leave the room. 724 00:45:39,704 --> 00:45:45,408 Your family matters are of national importance, Your Excellency. 725 00:45:45,410 --> 00:45:48,211 Not only do I have here for the archives in Moscow 726 00:45:48,213 --> 00:45:49,946 various photographs of your son 727 00:45:51,015 --> 00:45:54,083 embracing a certain young lady, 728 00:45:54,085 --> 00:45:56,519 but also some of your wife 729 00:45:56,521 --> 00:46:00,156 smiling at a subversive hat. 730 00:46:00,158 --> 00:46:04,460 And one of you 731 00:46:04,462 --> 00:46:07,430 gazing at the ankles of a... 732 00:46:07,432 --> 00:46:10,800 a local laundress. 733 00:46:17,308 --> 00:46:19,175 Sit down. 734 00:46:22,113 --> 00:46:25,915 While we're on the subject, Comrade, 735 00:46:25,917 --> 00:46:28,284 what about this, 736 00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:32,555 which I found among your personal belongings? 737 00:46:32,557 --> 00:46:34,323 You've been through my suitcase! 738 00:46:34,325 --> 00:46:37,660 You go through my desk every evening. 739 00:46:37,662 --> 00:46:42,064 I only returned the compliment. And what do I find? 740 00:46:42,066 --> 00:46:45,101 Decadent Capitalist magazines. 741 00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:52,241 "Drug Addiction in Cincinnati. 742 00:46:52,243 --> 00:46:55,044 Boston With the Lid off." 743 00:46:55,046 --> 00:46:57,847 And as if that were not sufficient, 744 00:46:57,849 --> 00:47:00,650 postcards of an indisputably suggestive nature, 745 00:47:00,652 --> 00:47:03,286 depicting the ruins of Pompeii 746 00:47:03,288 --> 00:47:08,291 in a most unscholarly light! 747 00:47:08,293 --> 00:47:12,061 Explain yourself, Comrade. 748 00:47:12,063 --> 00:47:17,700 I have collected this material in order to furnish the party with proof of Western decadence. 749 00:47:19,504 --> 00:47:22,705 It is advisable to confess. 750 00:47:30,982 --> 00:47:33,249 I confess. 751 00:47:34,652 --> 00:47:37,820 I'm so lonely, Your Excellency. 752 00:47:37,822 --> 00:47:40,923 Everyone is frightened of me. 753 00:47:40,925 --> 00:47:43,693 I have no friends. 754 00:47:43,695 --> 00:47:48,664 The only kindness people show me is motivated by... by fear. 755 00:47:52,904 --> 00:47:54,370 Here. Take my handkerchief. 756 00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:57,039 A handkerchief? 757 00:47:57,041 --> 00:48:00,676 When I could flood the Volga with my tears. 758 00:48:02,981 --> 00:48:06,616 I hate my job. Hate it! Hate it! 759 00:48:06,618 --> 00:48:10,386 Well, at least we'll have a little peace and quiet from now on. 760 00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:12,788 No! No. 761 00:48:12,790 --> 00:48:16,592 I am not the head of the organization in this country. 762 00:48:18,696 --> 00:48:20,763 There's someone else above you? Yes. 763 00:48:20,765 --> 00:48:21,864 Who? I... 764 00:48:21,866 --> 00:48:23,566 Shh! 765 00:48:30,008 --> 00:48:31,774 Thanks, Kiva. 766 00:48:44,622 --> 00:48:46,622 The cook? 767 00:48:46,624 --> 00:48:49,058 Yes. 768 00:48:49,060 --> 00:48:52,828 She radios to headquarters directly from the icebox. 769 00:48:52,830 --> 00:48:57,066 That's why she will never let me in the kitchen. 770 00:48:58,436 --> 00:49:01,637 There may be microphones concealed here. 771 00:49:03,775 --> 00:49:07,677 Well, now I have to become unpleasant again, 772 00:49:07,679 --> 00:49:10,613 but at least you will know that I don't really mean it. 773 00:49:10,615 --> 00:49:12,281 Yeah. 774 00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:14,884 We must go on as if nothing has happened. 775 00:49:14,886 --> 00:49:17,053 But a great deal has happened. 776 00:49:17,055 --> 00:49:19,989 You all seem to have forgotten about it. I am in love! 777 00:49:19,991 --> 00:49:22,591 Be reasonable. Please be... 778 00:49:22,593 --> 00:49:25,227 Well, what are we all running away from? I'm in love. 779 00:49:25,229 --> 00:49:27,663 Who is she? Some penniless local girl? 780 00:49:27,665 --> 00:49:29,231 She's the daughter of an ambassador. 781 00:49:29,233 --> 00:49:32,401 Ambassador! Ambassador? 782 00:49:32,403 --> 00:49:34,737 Then we have nothing to hide. 783 00:49:34,739 --> 00:49:36,272 Which ambassador? 784 00:49:38,643 --> 00:49:41,177 The ambassador... 785 00:49:41,179 --> 00:49:43,212 of the United States of America. 786 00:49:43,214 --> 00:49:45,281 Oh! 787 00:49:50,855 --> 00:49:55,791 Are you aware of the words you have just uttered? 788 00:49:55,793 --> 00:49:59,028 Swine! 789 00:49:59,030 --> 00:50:01,731 Interventionist! 790 00:50:03,301 --> 00:50:06,435 Anarchist. Saboteur! Vadim! 791 00:50:06,437 --> 00:50:09,305 Trotskyist! 792 00:50:09,307 --> 00:50:11,240 You will leave the room. 793 00:50:12,643 --> 00:50:14,577 Why are you smiling? 794 00:50:15,646 --> 00:50:18,481 I will not be alone. Huh? 795 00:50:20,218 --> 00:50:22,218 My son... 796 00:50:22,220 --> 00:50:24,020 Uh... 797 00:50:24,022 --> 00:50:27,590 You know, I see in Pravda that our manganese production 798 00:50:27,592 --> 00:50:32,628 has increased by another 2,018 short tons. 799 00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,935 Oh, uh, that is a cause for rejoicing. 800 00:50:39,937 --> 00:50:41,337 Mm-hmm. 801 00:50:41,339 --> 00:50:43,339 Yes. 802 00:50:43,341 --> 00:50:46,142 Soon we will have sufficient manganese 803 00:50:46,144 --> 00:50:50,079 to, uh... to do whatever we want with it. 804 00:50:50,081 --> 00:50:52,048 That is true, yes. 805 00:50:52,050 --> 00:50:57,520 But we must not weaken our efforts. No. 806 00:50:57,522 --> 00:51:00,122 We can never have enough... 807 00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:04,627 manganese. 808 00:51:08,666 --> 00:51:11,300 I just can't eat. 809 00:51:11,302 --> 00:51:13,736 I know how you feel. Oh, so well. 810 00:51:13,738 --> 00:51:15,438 But it'll pass. 811 00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,007 Well, when you met Daddy, did... 812 00:51:18,009 --> 00:51:21,010 did you hear a little bell? 813 00:51:21,012 --> 00:51:22,678 Certainly not. 814 00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:24,980 I did when I met Igor. 815 00:51:24,982 --> 00:51:28,717 It seemed to say, "This is him, the father of your children. 816 00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:30,419 This is home." 817 00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:33,355 A little bell? 818 00:51:33,357 --> 00:51:36,892 There was music playing, but I... I didn't hear it. 819 00:51:36,894 --> 00:51:40,729 I just saw a pair of eyes I could lose myself in. 820 00:51:40,731 --> 00:51:44,867 So stern and yet so sweet, and so adventurous. 821 00:51:44,869 --> 00:51:49,605 Mom, I can still feel his hand on my hair... 822 00:51:49,607 --> 00:51:52,274 strong and manly and... and yet so soft. 823 00:51:52,276 --> 00:51:55,845 And then he said, "The greatest gift we have to offer 824 00:51:55,847 --> 00:51:57,279 is ourselves." 825 00:52:05,590 --> 00:52:07,056 Mom. 826 00:52:15,933 --> 00:52:19,335 Beulah! What's the matter with you? 827 00:52:19,337 --> 00:52:22,071 Hooper, you have no poetry. 828 00:52:22,073 --> 00:52:23,305 Mm-hmm. 829 00:52:23,307 --> 00:52:26,108 I'm gonna get Freddie from the airport. 830 00:52:26,110 --> 00:52:29,145 How are you gonna tell him? Diplomatically, dear. 831 00:52:30,214 --> 00:52:32,281 And politically. 832 00:52:51,235 --> 00:52:52,902 You called, madam? 833 00:52:52,904 --> 00:52:54,770 Why, when there are plenty of empty seats, 834 00:52:54,772 --> 00:52:56,906 do I have to be sitting next to this man? 835 00:52:56,908 --> 00:52:58,941 We have to keep the front seats occupied, madam, 836 00:52:58,943 --> 00:53:01,377 as it helps to keep the tail of the aircraft up. 837 00:53:01,379 --> 00:53:03,445 What happens if the plane is full? 838 00:53:03,447 --> 00:53:05,514 It never is, madam. 839 00:53:07,852 --> 00:53:09,885 What have I done wrong? 840 00:53:09,887 --> 00:53:12,354 Throughout the night, you have been brazenly attempting 841 00:53:12,356 --> 00:53:14,190 to spy on my statistics. 842 00:53:14,192 --> 00:53:16,125 I haven't either. I'm just amazed 843 00:53:16,127 --> 00:53:18,961 that a girl like you would be reading a book like that. 844 00:53:18,963 --> 00:53:22,298 I'm not reading it, sir. I already know the statistics. 845 00:53:22,300 --> 00:53:24,667 I'm only trying to perfect my English. 846 00:53:24,669 --> 00:53:27,403 Well, you speak it great. 847 00:53:27,405 --> 00:53:29,471 Perhaps better than you do, sir. 848 00:53:29,473 --> 00:53:35,277 The phrase is, "You speak it very well," not "great." 849 00:53:35,279 --> 00:53:37,379 May I have your attention, please? 850 00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:41,317 Concordian Air International hopes you've had a pleasant trip. 851 00:53:41,319 --> 00:53:46,522 Uh, madam... madam, hold on to your goat, please. We're landing. 852 00:53:46,524 --> 00:53:48,924 Aah! 853 00:54:00,504 --> 00:54:03,639 Step right in here, please, gentlemen. 854 00:54:03,641 --> 00:54:06,108 Make yourselves comfortable. 855 00:54:06,110 --> 00:54:07,910 Won't be long. 856 00:54:07,912 --> 00:54:10,212 You will be able to identify your friends 857 00:54:10,214 --> 00:54:12,014 after Customs inspection. 858 00:54:18,990 --> 00:54:20,823 Good trip? 859 00:54:26,597 --> 00:54:29,365 All right, everyone in. 860 00:54:29,367 --> 00:54:31,033 My blessing. Oh, no, no. 861 00:54:31,035 --> 00:54:32,501 No talking. 862 00:54:33,571 --> 00:54:35,137 Hi, Freddie. Good morning, sir. 863 00:54:35,139 --> 00:54:36,739 No talking until after Customs. 864 00:54:36,741 --> 00:54:39,675 Stand here. The rest of you please make a line. 865 00:54:42,013 --> 00:54:43,946 Do you have anything to declare? 866 00:54:43,948 --> 00:54:46,148 I have only my personal belongings in this suitcase. 867 00:54:46,150 --> 00:54:48,217 Shall I open it? One thing at a time. 868 00:54:48,219 --> 00:54:50,419 First of all, there's a duty on suitcases. 869 00:54:50,421 --> 00:54:53,222 A hundred and fifty percent of the value when new. 870 00:54:53,224 --> 00:54:54,723 What? 871 00:54:54,725 --> 00:54:56,525 Why, that's preposterous! 872 00:54:56,527 --> 00:54:59,361 What did you pay for this coat? There's a duty on clothes. 873 00:54:59,363 --> 00:55:01,597 Are you wearing underwear? 874 00:55:01,599 --> 00:55:03,532 Oh, sure. Oh, yeah? 875 00:55:03,534 --> 00:55:05,034 Huh? 876 00:55:05,036 --> 00:55:06,502 Oh. 877 00:55:06,504 --> 00:55:07,603 Come on, buddy. 878 00:55:11,342 --> 00:55:12,841 Ah-ah-ah. 879 00:55:14,111 --> 00:55:15,611 Uh-huh. 880 00:55:17,181 --> 00:55:19,315 Passport. 881 00:55:19,317 --> 00:55:21,083 Thank you very much. Welcome to Concordia. 882 00:55:21,085 --> 00:55:22,751 A pleasure. Mm-hmm. Bye. 883 00:55:33,998 --> 00:55:35,564 Oh. 884 00:55:40,404 --> 00:55:43,272 Take us to the airport caf�, Curtis. 885 00:55:43,274 --> 00:55:46,308 I didn't expect to see you personally, sir. It's so early. 886 00:55:46,310 --> 00:55:49,678 It's later than you think, fella. After you. 887 00:55:53,818 --> 00:55:55,851 I've told you the facts as they are, Fred. 888 00:55:55,853 --> 00:55:58,754 And I know it's tough. Tough for both of us. 889 00:55:58,756 --> 00:56:00,756 That's why I thought it better not to go straight home, 890 00:56:00,758 --> 00:56:03,592 but to have this man-to-man chat first. 891 00:56:06,130 --> 00:56:08,530 Are you quite sure you've got enough sugar in that coffee? 892 00:56:08,532 --> 00:56:10,265 Oh, I don't take sugar in my coffee, sir. 893 00:56:10,267 --> 00:56:12,901 I guess this is just a nervous habit. 894 00:56:12,903 --> 00:56:14,837 Oh. 895 00:56:16,907 --> 00:56:18,540 Finished! 896 00:56:23,314 --> 00:56:26,782 I don't quite understand the point you're trying to make, sir. 897 00:56:26,784 --> 00:56:30,886 Do you want me to take Julie back to New York or to marry her? 898 00:56:30,888 --> 00:56:34,256 In view of your engagement to the girl, it seems quite possible, 899 00:56:34,258 --> 00:56:37,226 at least to my limited intelligence, to do both. 900 00:56:39,697 --> 00:56:42,431 Now, I've arranged for this wedding 901 00:56:42,433 --> 00:56:44,933 to be a simple formality. 902 00:56:44,935 --> 00:56:48,570 It will be necessary for your son to sign these documents, here. 903 00:56:48,572 --> 00:56:50,072 Uh, here. Yes. 904 00:56:50,074 --> 00:56:51,774 In triplicate. Oh, in triplicate. 905 00:56:51,776 --> 00:56:53,375 Yes. Mm-hmm. 906 00:56:53,377 --> 00:56:57,012 I will add my signature when I return to my boat the day after tomorrow. 907 00:56:57,014 --> 00:57:00,649 If this means Siberia, I shall go out and buy that hat today. 908 00:57:00,651 --> 00:57:02,151 Siberia? 909 00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:05,587 I must have my moment of pleasure. 910 00:57:05,589 --> 00:57:08,824 Hat? I shall become a monk. 911 00:57:08,826 --> 00:57:11,026 Monk? A monk. 912 00:57:11,028 --> 00:57:14,663 I will place my tremendous capacity for devotion to duty 913 00:57:14,665 --> 00:57:17,433 at the disposal of meditation. 914 00:57:17,435 --> 00:57:19,701 What's the matter with you all? 915 00:57:19,703 --> 00:57:24,072 Marfa Vassilievna, life is unpredictable 916 00:57:24,074 --> 00:57:27,543 even in the land of Socialism. 917 00:57:27,545 --> 00:57:32,347 The human heart is a delicate instrument, my Vassilievna. 918 00:57:32,349 --> 00:57:37,319 This entire embassy is pervaded with a subversive atmosphere. 919 00:57:37,321 --> 00:57:39,354 I knew it at the airport. 920 00:57:39,356 --> 00:57:43,325 You allowed the American ambassador to bribe the Custom officer before you did. 921 00:57:43,327 --> 00:57:44,326 Oh! 922 00:57:44,328 --> 00:57:45,961 No, but, you know, I ju... 923 00:57:45,963 --> 00:57:50,032 The initiative has clearly passed in the hands of the hyenas of Wall Street 924 00:57:50,034 --> 00:57:52,034 and their Concordian lackeys. 925 00:57:52,036 --> 00:57:54,670 I deny that. 926 00:57:54,672 --> 00:57:58,340 I'm sure you don't even know the vital statistics of this country. 927 00:57:58,342 --> 00:58:00,342 Huh? 928 00:58:00,344 --> 00:58:03,846 What is the annual rainfall of the capital? 929 00:58:03,848 --> 00:58:05,614 Uh... 930 00:58:05,616 --> 00:58:08,650 Well, I haven't the slightest idea. 931 00:58:08,652 --> 00:58:10,486 Three millimeters. 932 00:58:10,488 --> 00:58:13,489 Oh. Thank you very much. 933 00:58:13,491 --> 00:58:16,692 And how many kilometers of narrow gauge railroad are there? 934 00:58:16,694 --> 00:58:18,227 I don't know. We walk. 935 00:58:18,229 --> 00:58:19,962 One-point-six, and another two 936 00:58:19,964 --> 00:58:23,632 which have been under construction since 1912. 937 00:58:25,803 --> 00:58:28,170 And how many secondary schools are there? 938 00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:29,104 Uh... 939 00:58:31,041 --> 00:58:33,208 One. 940 00:58:33,210 --> 00:58:34,676 None. 941 00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:38,013 Near enough. 942 00:58:38,015 --> 00:58:41,917 On the contrary! One hundred percent error! 943 00:58:43,988 --> 00:58:45,988 With this standard of efficiency, 944 00:58:45,990 --> 00:58:49,791 I wouldn't be surprised if you told me that your son was engaged to someone else. 945 00:58:49,793 --> 00:58:52,094 To a Concordian, perhaps. 946 00:58:52,096 --> 00:58:54,162 Even an American. 947 00:58:59,770 --> 00:59:02,938 You don't deny it? Why not? 948 00:59:04,008 --> 00:59:05,774 I can't. 949 00:59:06,877 --> 00:59:08,176 You're joking! 950 00:59:18,422 --> 00:59:20,756 Look, Julie, you're in love with this guy. 951 00:59:20,758 --> 00:59:22,190 I respect that. 952 00:59:24,495 --> 00:59:28,297 Oh, Freddie, you're so dear, and... and I've treated you so badly. 953 00:59:28,299 --> 00:59:30,766 No, no, no. 954 00:59:30,768 --> 00:59:34,202 Julie, off the record, 955 00:59:34,204 --> 00:59:36,138 what's it like, being in love? 956 00:59:36,140 --> 00:59:39,474 You know, really in love. 957 00:59:39,476 --> 00:59:41,476 Hell. Is that so? 958 00:59:41,478 --> 00:59:42,978 Yeah. 959 00:59:42,980 --> 00:59:44,846 Gee, I'm sorry. 960 00:59:44,848 --> 00:59:48,784 You know, maybe I'm the lucky one. 961 00:59:50,020 --> 00:59:51,954 Maybe you are. 962 00:59:51,956 --> 00:59:54,356 And maybe I'm just being a fool. 963 00:59:54,358 --> 00:59:56,959 My life with you would be so much simpler. Mm-hmm. 964 00:59:56,961 --> 00:59:58,894 We'd have a lot of laughs. I know. 965 00:59:58,896 --> 01:00:00,963 Do you recall the time that... 966 01:00:03,634 --> 01:00:06,635 It wouldn't work, kid. You feel too strongly for me. 967 01:00:06,637 --> 01:00:08,136 You know what I mean. 968 01:00:08,138 --> 01:00:11,206 I can never get as upset as you about anything, 969 01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:14,876 and that would only upset you more. 970 01:00:14,878 --> 01:00:17,446 Mm-hmm. 971 01:00:17,448 --> 01:00:21,450 I don't know what's come over you, Freddie. What? 972 01:00:21,452 --> 01:00:24,086 You started to think. 973 01:00:24,088 --> 01:00:27,689 Yeah, it was tough, but I made it. 974 01:00:32,730 --> 01:00:35,230 I'm sorry, dear. 975 01:00:35,232 --> 01:00:37,232 Oh, that's all right. 976 01:00:40,604 --> 01:00:42,804 Do you wanna kiss me? 977 01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:51,480 I know when I'm licked. 978 01:00:51,482 --> 01:00:53,749 Tsk! Freddie! 979 01:00:54,985 --> 01:00:56,918 Well, Julie... 980 01:00:58,922 --> 01:01:03,625 I'll see you sometime, someplace. 981 01:01:03,627 --> 01:01:07,129 Travel's getting a lot easier between Russia and America. 982 01:01:07,131 --> 01:01:09,631 Bring your husband over to the house. 983 01:01:09,633 --> 01:01:12,901 The kids can play in the pool. Don't, Freddie. 984 01:01:16,807 --> 01:01:18,740 God bless you, baby. 985 01:01:24,181 --> 01:01:26,114 Keep pitching. 986 01:01:31,522 --> 01:01:36,224 The last hours of our 413th Independence are draining away. 987 01:01:36,226 --> 01:01:38,226 It's like being under sentence of death. 988 01:01:38,228 --> 01:01:40,162 I don't know why you're so depressed. 989 01:01:40,164 --> 01:01:41,697 Have you read these ultimatums properly? 990 01:01:41,699 --> 01:01:44,766 The Russian one, and the American? The terrible menace in them? 991 01:01:44,768 --> 01:01:46,768 If we don't accept aid by 4:00, 992 01:01:46,770 --> 01:01:49,604 it will be fed to us like medicine to a child. 993 01:01:49,606 --> 01:01:52,741 Parachutes will drop with motorcars and tractors. 994 01:01:52,743 --> 01:01:56,978 They'll shell us with cartons of filter cigarettes and bottles of soft drinks. 995 01:01:56,980 --> 01:01:59,481 It's ghastly! 996 01:01:59,483 --> 01:02:02,117 And all because you didn't vote. 997 01:02:02,119 --> 01:02:04,252 You may say you didn't understand the motion, 998 01:02:04,254 --> 01:02:06,788 but that never stopped a real statesman from voting. 999 01:02:06,790 --> 01:02:08,990 Well, I do know why you're depressed, really, yes. 1000 01:02:08,992 --> 01:02:13,895 See, I'm an optimist, therefore I know exactly how sad a place the world can be. 1001 01:02:13,897 --> 01:02:18,100 You're a pessimist, Otto, therefore you're forever finding out. 1002 01:02:18,102 --> 01:02:20,535 Well, we're going to resist aid. 1003 01:02:20,537 --> 01:02:23,238 But how? What weapons have we? 1004 01:02:24,942 --> 01:02:26,208 Laughter. 1005 01:02:27,277 --> 01:02:29,911 Laughter? Oh, you're crazy. 1006 01:02:38,489 --> 01:02:41,156 Yes. Our weapon is laughter. 1007 01:02:41,158 --> 01:02:43,959 Our cause... love. 1008 01:02:43,961 --> 01:02:46,661 You don't mean to say you're going to get us involved in war 1009 01:02:46,663 --> 01:02:49,097 just because two people have fallen in love? 1010 01:02:49,099 --> 01:02:53,435 Have you ever heard of a war that started for a reason half as dignified as that? 1011 01:02:53,437 --> 01:02:55,437 But we can't even bluff the enemy. 1012 01:02:55,439 --> 01:02:57,105 The latest messages are all in code. 1013 01:02:57,107 --> 01:02:58,974 Well, we can pretend we know their code. 1014 01:02:58,976 --> 01:03:02,778 We can even pretend that they don't know ours. 1015 01:03:02,780 --> 01:03:05,847 But we haven't got a code! 1016 01:03:07,151 --> 01:03:09,651 That was a breach of security, Otto. 1017 01:03:09,653 --> 01:03:12,554 I beg your pardon. Granted. 1018 01:03:12,556 --> 01:03:16,491 The important thing in diplomacy is to have a door that will lock, 1019 01:03:16,493 --> 01:03:19,361 even if there's nothing behind it. 1020 01:03:19,363 --> 01:03:20,662 Now... 1021 01:03:25,269 --> 01:03:27,269 my plan is this. 1022 01:03:27,271 --> 01:03:29,738 Tonight, we celebrate the royal wedding 1023 01:03:29,740 --> 01:03:32,741 of our boy king, Theodore the Uncanny, 1024 01:03:32,743 --> 01:03:38,280 to the Infanta of Old Castillo in 1300 and, um, five? 1025 01:03:38,282 --> 01:03:40,515 1311. Well, whichever it was. 1026 01:03:40,517 --> 01:03:42,517 Which led to the Spanish Coalition 1027 01:03:42,519 --> 01:03:46,221 and the eventual expulsion of the Lithuanians from our country. 1028 01:03:46,223 --> 01:03:49,558 The Albanians. And the anniversary isn't until Friday. 1029 01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:53,228 Otto, the great advantage of history is that it is adaptable. 1030 01:03:53,230 --> 01:03:54,162 Now... 1031 01:03:55,499 --> 01:03:58,333 if we say that the anniversary is tonight, 1032 01:03:58,335 --> 01:04:01,203 all the diplomatic corps will be there in force. 1033 01:04:01,205 --> 01:04:04,306 That is the moment for us to strike. 1034 01:04:04,308 --> 01:04:06,441 How? 1035 01:04:06,443 --> 01:04:09,978 Never mind. Um, take this down. 1036 01:04:12,115 --> 01:04:14,449 Decree a national air raid practice 1037 01:04:14,451 --> 01:04:16,885 for 4:30 this afternoon. 1038 01:04:16,887 --> 01:04:20,422 Perhaps 1630 sounds more military. 1039 01:04:20,424 --> 01:04:23,558 Close the switchboard. Ah-ah. 1040 01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:25,694 Isolate the powers, 1041 01:04:25,696 --> 01:04:29,564 and declare a state of general mobilization. 1042 01:04:29,566 --> 01:04:32,234 Just a minute. How do you spell that? Um, M-O... 1043 01:04:32,236 --> 01:04:33,835 Mobilization. 1044 01:04:33,837 --> 01:04:38,406 M-O-B-O-L-O... 1045 01:04:38,408 --> 01:04:41,743 O... Uh... 1046 01:04:41,745 --> 01:04:47,182 Well, I don't know, Otto. We use the word so rarely. I... 1047 01:04:47,184 --> 01:04:49,584 Well, never mind. 1048 01:04:49,586 --> 01:04:51,553 The others have got their troubles too. 1049 01:04:53,590 --> 01:04:56,324 Miss, I asked for Concordia. 1050 01:04:56,326 --> 01:04:57,859 Concordia! 1051 01:04:59,763 --> 01:05:01,529 Hello! Hello! 1052 01:05:03,533 --> 01:05:05,233 Hello. 1053 01:05:05,235 --> 01:05:07,302 Telephone communications with Concordia 1054 01:05:07,304 --> 01:05:10,605 are temporarily interrupted owing to a technical hitch. 1055 01:05:10,607 --> 01:05:13,775 Telephone communications with Concordia 1056 01:05:13,777 --> 01:05:16,278 are temporarily interrupted owing to a technical hitch. 1057 01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:17,879 Telephone communications with Concordia 1058 01:05:17,881 --> 01:05:19,881 are temporarily interrupted owing to a technical hitch. 1059 01:05:21,785 --> 01:05:24,185 You're dressed very warmly for this weather, Your Excellency. 1060 01:05:24,187 --> 01:05:26,454 Yes. Cane, portfolio, gloves. 1061 01:05:26,456 --> 01:05:29,090 Three articles to leave behind if necessary. 1062 01:05:29,092 --> 01:05:32,460 In the world of diplomacy, it's often very important to have a pretext to return 1063 01:05:32,462 --> 01:05:34,462 after you've said good-bye. 1064 01:05:49,980 --> 01:05:52,681 That's called making up for lost time. 1065 01:05:52,683 --> 01:05:56,952 Our national tragedy is that we've been occupied by every people but the Swiss. 1066 01:05:56,954 --> 01:06:01,289 Oh, don't forget to telephone me at the American Embassy in exactly three minutes. 1067 01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:02,924 Good luck. 1068 01:07:03,453 --> 01:07:05,620 Oh. 1069 01:07:05,622 --> 01:07:07,455 Not too early, I trust? 1070 01:07:07,457 --> 01:07:09,691 I make you just on two hours late. 1071 01:07:09,693 --> 01:07:12,327 Then, I don't know the time around here any more than anyone else does. 1072 01:07:12,329 --> 01:07:13,995 Yes. 1073 01:07:13,997 --> 01:07:16,297 Mr. President, I wish this meeting could've taken place 1074 01:07:16,299 --> 01:07:18,800 under happier circumstances. 1075 01:07:18,802 --> 01:07:21,469 Bourbon on the rocks? I never touch it, I'm afraid. 1076 01:07:21,471 --> 01:07:23,738 Oh, come on. 1077 01:07:24,808 --> 01:07:27,042 Well, since you insist. 1078 01:07:29,279 --> 01:07:32,247 Now... 1079 01:07:32,249 --> 01:07:34,682 let's come straight to the point. 1080 01:07:34,684 --> 01:07:37,685 When I wanna know something, I just ask. 1081 01:07:37,687 --> 01:07:40,188 That's the way I operate. I appreciate that. 1082 01:07:40,190 --> 01:07:43,358 In my position, I have to appreciate almost everything. 1083 01:07:45,228 --> 01:07:49,230 Why didn't you answer my ultimatum? 1084 01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:51,433 How's your charming daughter? 1085 01:07:51,435 --> 01:07:54,202 - What's that? - Daughter. 1086 01:07:54,204 --> 01:07:57,872 Oh. She's fine. Just fine, thanks. She's fine. 1087 01:07:57,874 --> 01:08:02,811 Now, does this mean you're getting aid from elsewhere, 1088 01:08:02,813 --> 01:08:06,381 if you follow me, and if so, who? 1089 01:08:06,383 --> 01:08:08,650 And if so, why? 1090 01:08:08,652 --> 01:08:11,786 Yes! Very witty. 1091 01:08:11,788 --> 01:08:14,823 She looked quite exquisite the other evening, I thought, huh? 1092 01:08:14,825 --> 01:08:16,691 Who? Your daughter looked so... 1093 01:08:16,693 --> 01:08:18,726 Oh, didn't she, though? 1094 01:08:18,728 --> 01:08:20,728 Now, look, 1095 01:08:20,730 --> 01:08:26,334 my government takes the gravest possible view of your decision. 1096 01:08:26,336 --> 01:08:30,672 Who was that very nice young gentleman I saw her with? 1097 01:08:30,674 --> 01:08:33,208 You saw her? Leave him out of this! 1098 01:08:33,210 --> 01:08:34,309 Fianc�, perhaps? 1099 01:08:34,311 --> 01:08:37,045 Will we soon hear the bells... No! 1100 01:08:39,816 --> 01:08:42,083 I thought that thing was out of order. 1101 01:08:43,587 --> 01:08:45,520 They must've mended it. 1102 01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:50,024 Hello? 1103 01:08:51,094 --> 01:08:54,129 It's for you. Oh? 1104 01:08:55,298 --> 01:08:57,232 Thank you. 1105 01:08:57,234 --> 01:09:00,435 Hello? Oh, Otto. Yes. 1106 01:09:00,437 --> 01:09:03,338 Uh, no. Once and for all, I don't want to commit 1107 01:09:03,340 --> 01:09:06,608 the Tenth Parachute Division until the initial attack has spent itself. 1108 01:09:06,610 --> 01:09:08,576 Is that clear? No, no. 1109 01:09:08,578 --> 01:09:10,879 What I had in mind was, uh, 1110 01:09:10,881 --> 01:09:14,983 M-I-S-S-I-L-E-S. 1111 01:09:17,354 --> 01:09:21,422 I can't speak too freely now. 1112 01:09:21,424 --> 01:09:23,358 Oh, another thing, Otto. 1113 01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:27,328 If I find any man smoking near the rocket fuel, 1114 01:09:27,330 --> 01:09:30,231 he's in for a severe talking to. 1115 01:09:30,233 --> 01:09:32,567 Ah. 1116 01:09:32,569 --> 01:09:34,536 Told him. Huh. 1117 01:09:34,538 --> 01:09:39,474 Let me freshen up your bourbon on the rocks, Mr. President. 1118 01:09:41,278 --> 01:09:44,679 Now, sir, let me ask you this. 1119 01:09:44,681 --> 01:09:46,648 Who are you trying to fool? 1120 01:09:46,650 --> 01:09:50,084 You know you can't resist the Russians all by yourself if they should attack. 1121 01:09:50,086 --> 01:09:53,388 Don't underestimate us, Mr. Ambassador. 1122 01:09:55,492 --> 01:09:58,426 There are ten red roses in your garden. 1123 01:09:58,428 --> 01:10:00,228 They bloom, I believe, at dawn. 1124 01:10:01,531 --> 01:10:04,199 Oh, Mr. Ambassador. 1125 01:10:04,201 --> 01:10:07,835 Oh, dear, dear, dear. 1126 01:10:07,837 --> 01:10:09,771 Where did you get this information? 1127 01:10:09,773 --> 01:10:12,207 From our network in America. 1128 01:10:12,209 --> 01:10:16,711 "Network in America"? Oh, well, grid, if you prefer it. 1129 01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:20,915 What we have in mind is a goodwill mission. 1130 01:10:20,917 --> 01:10:23,384 Mr. Ambassador, in 1914, the Germans sent 1131 01:10:23,386 --> 01:10:26,387 a lot of paratroops dressed as nuns into Holland. 1132 01:10:26,389 --> 01:10:28,656 Would you call that a pilgrimage? 1133 01:10:28,658 --> 01:10:32,961 Well, what do you expect, with eight Soviet divisions massing in Transylvania 1134 01:10:32,963 --> 01:10:35,163 not a hundred miles from here? 1135 01:10:35,165 --> 01:10:37,966 You need protection. 1136 01:10:37,968 --> 01:10:40,335 I guess some people just don't want to be free. 1137 01:10:40,337 --> 01:10:44,739 Well, surprisingly enough, Your Excellency, some people are free already. 1138 01:10:44,741 --> 01:10:49,544 We have recent news that the Soviet divisions are on their way to Siberia. 1139 01:10:49,546 --> 01:10:51,613 Don't be ridiculous, sir. 1140 01:10:51,615 --> 01:10:54,882 Why should they go to Siberia by way of the Western frontier? 1141 01:10:54,884 --> 01:10:57,151 I don't know. You're the expert in the war of nerves, sir. 1142 01:10:57,153 --> 01:10:59,654 I'm only a learner. But couldn't it be 1143 01:10:59,656 --> 01:11:02,624 the Russian plan to provoke a goodwill mission from you 1144 01:11:02,626 --> 01:11:07,862 which would look to the rest of the world like a piece of naked aggression? 1145 01:11:07,864 --> 01:11:10,398 Yeah. Yeah. 1146 01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:12,567 That's just what they might do. Ah. 1147 01:11:12,569 --> 01:11:14,402 The twisters. 1148 01:11:14,404 --> 01:11:17,171 Think it over, quietly. 1149 01:11:17,173 --> 01:11:20,575 We'll talk about it further at this evening's celebrations. 1150 01:11:20,577 --> 01:11:23,611 Celebration? Not another Independence Day? 1151 01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:26,114 Yes. Oh, no! 1152 01:11:26,116 --> 01:11:28,716 The Russians will accept, I'm sure. 1153 01:11:28,718 --> 01:11:32,053 Okay, okay. We'll be there. 1154 01:11:32,055 --> 01:11:35,523 There's a national air raid drill in half an hour. 1155 01:11:35,525 --> 01:11:38,159 Please, keep off the streets. 1156 01:11:42,966 --> 01:11:45,800 Oh, you left your, uh, mm... 1157 01:11:51,574 --> 01:11:53,641 Mr. President? 1158 01:12:16,599 --> 01:12:18,599 Not too early, I trust? 1159 01:12:18,601 --> 01:12:21,336 Only if I misunderstood the appointment. 1160 01:12:21,338 --> 01:12:23,304 It was for tomorrow! 1161 01:12:23,306 --> 01:12:25,440 I do apologize. 1162 01:12:25,442 --> 01:12:27,508 Mm. Sit down. 1163 01:12:31,381 --> 01:12:33,047 Thank you. 1164 01:12:34,117 --> 01:12:36,117 Vodka? No. I never drink. 1165 01:12:36,119 --> 01:12:40,321 Nonsense. You have defied our ultimatum. 1166 01:12:40,323 --> 01:12:41,989 I'm directed to draw your attention 1167 01:12:41,991 --> 01:12:44,959 to the unpleasant consequences of such a provocation. 1168 01:12:44,961 --> 01:12:46,928 How's your charming son? 1169 01:12:46,930 --> 01:12:51,065 Uh, well, very well. He's, uh, rarely been better. 1170 01:12:51,067 --> 01:12:52,734 I'm glad to hear it. 1171 01:12:52,736 --> 01:12:55,436 I toast energetic and enlightened Concordian people 1172 01:12:55,438 --> 01:12:59,273 and their imminent discovery of the benefits of Socialism. 1173 01:12:59,275 --> 01:13:01,309 Thank you. 1174 01:13:03,146 --> 01:13:04,812 Ahh! 1175 01:13:04,814 --> 01:13:06,681 Little caviar? No, thank you. I... 1176 01:13:06,683 --> 01:13:07,615 No? 1177 01:13:11,054 --> 01:13:12,453 Mm. 1178 01:13:14,524 --> 01:13:16,924 I drink to your son. 1179 01:13:16,926 --> 01:13:19,427 To his health, his happiness, 1180 01:13:19,429 --> 01:13:21,429 and to the eight Soviet divisions, 1181 01:13:21,431 --> 01:13:23,998 at the moment massed on the frontier of Transylvania, 1182 01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:26,367 in the hope that they'll soon be facing the other direction. 1183 01:13:26,369 --> 01:13:28,469 Mm. 1184 01:13:30,306 --> 01:13:32,507 Where did you get this... 1185 01:13:32,509 --> 01:13:35,176 this false information? 1186 01:13:35,178 --> 01:13:38,479 From our people in Russia. People there? 1187 01:13:38,481 --> 01:13:40,615 Oh, come, come. Let's not be naive, Your Excellency. 1188 01:13:40,617 --> 01:13:43,017 Well, what do you expect, with ten American aircraft carriers 1189 01:13:43,019 --> 01:13:45,019 off the coast of Greece? 1190 01:13:45,021 --> 01:13:47,588 Oh, you've... you've cracked their code, have you? 1191 01:13:47,590 --> 01:13:49,757 A long time ago. 1192 01:13:49,759 --> 01:13:51,392 Sit down. Thank you. 1193 01:13:55,799 --> 01:13:59,333 In that case, you'll know about, uh, February the 30th? 1194 01:13:59,335 --> 01:14:02,870 February the 30th! 1195 01:14:02,872 --> 01:14:06,107 A group of 30 strategic rockets with atomic warheads? 1196 01:14:07,410 --> 01:14:10,144 Yes. That tallies exactly with my information. 1197 01:14:10,146 --> 01:14:12,146 Mm. Sit down. Thank you. 1198 01:14:12,148 --> 01:14:14,081 Except that more recent news suggests 1199 01:14:14,083 --> 01:14:17,418 that this American goodwill fleet has just set sail for Gibraltar. 1200 01:14:17,420 --> 01:14:19,020 Hmm? 1201 01:14:19,022 --> 01:14:20,788 Why should they do that? 1202 01:14:20,790 --> 01:14:24,692 I don't know. Perhaps some goodwill is urgently required there. 1203 01:14:24,694 --> 01:14:26,994 Oh. Well, uh... 1204 01:14:28,698 --> 01:14:30,965 When did you receive this news? 1205 01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:32,967 Within half hour. 1206 01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:35,503 How did you receive it, if I may ask, since your... 1207 01:14:35,505 --> 01:14:38,539 Uh... Oh, no, no. Your phones aren't working. 1208 01:14:40,210 --> 01:14:41,809 Pigeon. Pigeon? 1209 01:14:43,346 --> 01:14:46,781 No one uses pigeons anymore. They're unreliable. 1210 01:14:46,783 --> 01:14:49,984 They may migrate when they're very young, but they never break down like telephones. 1211 01:14:49,986 --> 01:14:52,386 Soviet telephones don't break down! 1212 01:14:52,388 --> 01:14:55,389 Nor do Concordian pigeons! Now... 1213 01:15:04,868 --> 01:15:07,335 Oh, I wish you to understand 1214 01:15:07,337 --> 01:15:10,004 that the possible arrival of Soviet troops here 1215 01:15:10,006 --> 01:15:12,640 will be entirely peaceful. 1216 01:15:12,642 --> 01:15:17,612 The responsibility for any unpleasantness would be yours. 1217 01:15:17,614 --> 01:15:20,281 World opinion means nothing to you? 1218 01:15:22,151 --> 01:15:25,887 World opinion changes like the tides. 1219 01:15:25,889 --> 01:15:29,590 Any case, we're responsible for half of it. 1220 01:15:31,928 --> 01:15:34,629 There'll be a national air raid practice in half an hour, 1221 01:15:34,631 --> 01:15:36,931 so kindly keep off the streets. 1222 01:15:36,933 --> 01:15:39,267 If you should hear any explosions, don't worry. 1223 01:15:39,269 --> 01:15:43,170 It's a purely routine exercise of the Concordian Atomic Commission. 1224 01:15:43,172 --> 01:15:45,573 Do you really pretend that you have 1225 01:15:45,575 --> 01:15:49,043 the technological efficiency to produce a bomb? 1226 01:15:49,045 --> 01:15:53,681 No. But we have got technological inefficiency on such a scale 1227 01:15:53,683 --> 01:15:56,984 that it sometimes amounts to the same thing. 1228 01:15:56,986 --> 01:16:00,621 Well, I hope to see you at our little celebration this evening. 1229 01:16:00,623 --> 01:16:02,189 Again? Independence... 1230 01:16:02,191 --> 01:16:04,559 Independence... Oh, my wife isn't feeling well... 1231 01:16:04,561 --> 01:16:08,396 The Americans have accepted. 1232 01:16:08,398 --> 01:16:11,299 We'll be there. Good-bye. 1233 01:16:13,069 --> 01:16:15,937 Hey, you left your cane! 1234 01:16:17,607 --> 01:16:19,974 The Soviet Premier, in an exuberant mood 1235 01:16:19,976 --> 01:16:23,277 at a cocktail party, did imitations of leading Western statesmen, 1236 01:16:23,279 --> 01:16:25,246 at times going down on all fours. 1237 01:16:29,619 --> 01:16:32,019 Oh, hello. Hello... 1238 01:16:32,021 --> 01:16:34,555 Yes, I think I left my portfolio. 1239 01:16:34,557 --> 01:16:36,057 Oh, here it is. 1240 01:16:36,059 --> 01:16:38,893 It's very stupid of me. It's all our military secrets. 1241 01:16:38,895 --> 01:16:40,595 And your gloves. 1242 01:16:41,764 --> 01:16:43,731 No, those are not my gloves. 1243 01:16:43,733 --> 01:16:46,167 No? No. Hmm. 1244 01:16:46,169 --> 01:16:48,169 Oh. 1245 01:16:48,171 --> 01:16:50,605 Oh, bourbon on the rocks. Oh, no, no... 1246 01:16:50,607 --> 01:16:52,273 - Oh, come, now. - Come, come. 1247 01:16:52,275 --> 01:16:54,775 Come, now. Here. 1248 01:16:54,777 --> 01:16:57,178 There. 1249 01:16:57,180 --> 01:16:59,280 Thank you. 1250 01:17:03,753 --> 01:17:06,988 Incidentally... Yes? 1251 01:17:06,990 --> 01:17:10,191 ...they know your code. 1252 01:17:10,193 --> 01:17:13,694 We know they know our code. 1253 01:17:13,696 --> 01:17:16,163 Huh? Sure. 1254 01:17:16,165 --> 01:17:20,001 We only give them the things we want them to know. 1255 01:17:39,856 --> 01:17:41,822 Yes... 1256 01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:55,102 Good-bye. Oh, good-bye. 1257 01:18:12,822 --> 01:18:15,389 Oh, I think I left my thing... The, uh... 1258 01:18:15,391 --> 01:18:16,691 Mm, yeah. Oh, there. 1259 01:18:16,693 --> 01:18:19,460 No, no, no. Mm. Here it is. 1260 01:18:19,462 --> 01:18:21,395 Oh, thank you very much. Vodka? 1261 01:18:21,397 --> 01:18:25,966 No, thank you. No. Oh, ridiculous! 1262 01:18:25,968 --> 01:18:27,968 Incidentally... Yes? 1263 01:18:28,971 --> 01:18:31,972 ...they know you know their code. 1264 01:18:31,974 --> 01:18:35,976 That does not surprise me in the least. 1265 01:18:35,978 --> 01:18:39,714 We have known for some time that they knew we knew their code. 1266 01:18:39,716 --> 01:18:41,582 Huh? Yeah. 1267 01:18:41,584 --> 01:18:45,086 We have acted accordingly by pretending to be duped. 1268 01:18:48,558 --> 01:18:52,393 I never realized before how simple my life was. I... 1269 01:18:52,395 --> 01:18:56,530 Uh, to the Concordian bomb. 1270 01:18:59,769 --> 01:19:01,869 Concordian bomb. 1271 01:19:03,306 --> 01:19:05,740 Aah! 1272 01:19:29,065 --> 01:19:31,766 The gloves were mine, after all. 1273 01:19:31,768 --> 01:19:33,701 Forgive me. I thought they were. 1274 01:19:33,703 --> 01:19:35,836 I wear... I wear gloves so rarely. 1275 01:19:35,838 --> 01:19:38,339 This life seems to be getting you down. Down. 1276 01:19:38,341 --> 01:19:42,176 Bourbon on the rocks? 1277 01:19:42,178 --> 01:19:44,178 Pour it now. Wh-What's it called? 1278 01:19:44,180 --> 01:19:47,948 Here we are. Bourbon on the rocks. Bourbon on the rocks. Yes. 1279 01:19:55,691 --> 01:19:56,690 Ahh. 1280 01:19:56,692 --> 01:19:58,759 Incidentally... Yes? 1281 01:19:58,761 --> 01:20:01,462 ...you know they know 1282 01:20:01,464 --> 01:20:03,898 you know they know 1283 01:20:03,900 --> 01:20:07,501 you know... code. 1284 01:20:09,071 --> 01:20:10,604 What? 1285 01:20:12,375 --> 01:20:14,308 Are you sure? Mm. 1286 01:20:14,310 --> 01:20:16,443 I'm positive, because I've been talking, you know... 1287 01:20:16,445 --> 01:20:20,214 Thank you! Thank you. I shan't forget this. 1288 01:20:20,216 --> 01:20:22,550 You mean you didn't know? No! 1289 01:20:22,552 --> 01:20:24,285 Aah! 1290 01:20:30,293 --> 01:20:32,393 Forgive me? 1291 01:20:40,870 --> 01:20:44,605 Well, did it work? Did it work? 1292 01:20:48,177 --> 01:20:51,111 You're drunk! Well, do you wonder? 1293 01:20:51,113 --> 01:20:54,315 It was the price of finding out that there are eight Soviet divisions 1294 01:20:54,317 --> 01:20:56,283 massed in Transylvania, 1295 01:20:56,285 --> 01:20:59,053 and ten American aircraft carriers 1296 01:20:59,055 --> 01:21:02,323 with atomic rockets off the coast of Greece. 1297 01:21:02,325 --> 01:21:05,459 I told you, sir. I knew it! 1298 01:21:05,461 --> 01:21:08,429 What are we gonna do? Don't look so depressed. 1299 01:21:08,431 --> 01:21:10,431 We're going to pray. 1300 01:21:10,433 --> 01:21:12,833 But first of all, I'd like some black coffee. 1301 01:21:12,835 --> 01:21:15,202 Can you send the boy out for it? I don't know where he is. 1302 01:21:15,204 --> 01:21:18,873 I scolded him and sent him off to play with his home chemistry set. 1303 01:21:20,877 --> 01:21:23,577 He's made another mistake. 1304 01:21:34,023 --> 01:21:36,690 There! Otto! 1305 01:21:36,692 --> 01:21:40,928 That son of mine... he takes after his mother. 1306 01:21:40,930 --> 01:21:44,098 He deserves a decoration. He deserves to have his backside decorated. 1307 01:21:44,100 --> 01:21:46,033 I knew there were miracles in the air, Otto. 1308 01:21:46,035 --> 01:21:48,035 Don't you realize what this means? 1309 01:21:48,037 --> 01:21:52,373 Concordia has just exploded her first atomic bomb. 1310 01:22:42,358 --> 01:22:46,794 If anybody attacks us, they're in for a nasty surprise. 1311 01:22:58,908 --> 01:23:02,576 Wait for it! 1312 01:23:02,578 --> 01:23:04,244 Bah! 1313 01:23:09,352 --> 01:23:12,052 Man at the end needs a haircut. 1314 01:23:12,054 --> 01:23:14,355 Button missing here. Hup! 1315 01:23:14,357 --> 01:23:15,889 Shave. 1316 01:23:15,891 --> 01:23:17,458 And how's your aunt? 1317 01:23:17,460 --> 01:23:19,860 Well? I'm glad to hear... Oh, a hero. 1318 01:23:19,862 --> 01:23:21,829 Ah. 1319 01:23:21,831 --> 01:23:24,999 Hup! 1320 01:23:25,001 --> 01:23:26,867 Same man from the back. 1321 01:23:26,869 --> 01:23:29,436 Now, here... Ah. 1322 01:23:29,438 --> 01:23:32,506 I've seen this man already. I recognize the medal. 1323 01:23:32,508 --> 01:23:34,708 They've turned round. Oh, you mean we should go... 1324 01:23:34,710 --> 01:23:36,610 Oh, uh... 1325 01:23:38,147 --> 01:23:40,314 So you wish to serve your country? 1326 01:23:40,316 --> 01:23:42,349 Oh, yes, please... Oh, I see. 1327 01:23:42,351 --> 01:23:44,985 Well, cavalry, I think. That would be the safest. 1328 01:23:44,987 --> 01:23:48,389 On the left. On the left. That's right. 1329 01:23:48,391 --> 01:23:50,657 Ah, there's a fine figure of a boy. 1330 01:23:55,831 --> 01:23:58,599 And for the first time in history, they're punctual. 1331 01:23:58,601 --> 01:24:01,035 Recruiting will be resumed after a fire drill. 1332 01:24:30,633 --> 01:24:33,300 I don't want to be sentimental, Otto, 1333 01:24:33,302 --> 01:24:36,470 but it does an old soldier's heart good to see a sight like this. 1334 01:24:36,472 --> 01:24:38,906 Ahh. 1335 01:24:46,082 --> 01:24:47,948 Well done! Good man. 1336 01:24:55,257 --> 01:24:57,925 Look out. Here comes trouble. 1337 01:24:57,927 --> 01:25:00,461 I'm on your side. Help me, and I will help you. 1338 01:25:00,463 --> 01:25:02,096 What do you want? Asylum. 1339 01:25:02,098 --> 01:25:03,697 Asylum? 1340 01:25:03,699 --> 01:25:07,000 Oh, Political... Oh I see, yes granted... 1341 01:25:07,002 --> 01:25:09,002 There is something else. What? 1342 01:25:09,004 --> 01:25:11,672 Admission to the most austere, the most rigid, 1343 01:25:11,674 --> 01:25:13,941 and terrible monastery in your country. 1344 01:25:13,943 --> 01:25:15,909 Well we'll send you to the Mauve Friars, 1345 01:25:15,911 --> 01:25:18,612 they neither stand nor sit, they walk about on their knees. 1346 01:25:18,614 --> 01:25:20,214 Oh, a very good beginning. 1347 01:25:20,216 --> 01:25:21,949 My eternal gratitude. Yes. 1348 01:25:21,951 --> 01:25:23,784 Come now. Now my part of the bargain. 1349 01:25:23,786 --> 01:25:24,952 What? 1350 01:25:24,954 --> 01:25:26,653 Igor Vadimovitch is about to kill himself, 1351 01:25:26,655 --> 01:25:28,288 we must move quickly. What? 1352 01:25:28,290 --> 01:25:30,491 He says he cannot live without his Juliet. 1353 01:25:30,493 --> 01:25:31,992 Otto, come on. 1354 01:25:40,669 --> 01:25:41,702 Which room is it? 1355 01:25:41,704 --> 01:25:42,703 Igor Vadimovitch. 1356 01:25:43,772 --> 01:25:45,305 Igor Vadimovitch. 1357 01:25:46,909 --> 01:25:49,543 Merciful heaven's Lieutenant, what's that in your hand? 1358 01:25:49,545 --> 01:25:51,778 It's a revolver. 1359 01:25:51,780 --> 01:25:55,015 The classic solution to misery. 1360 01:25:55,017 --> 01:25:57,351 Are you aware they're forbidden by law? 1361 01:25:59,421 --> 01:26:00,888 You are too late. 1362 01:26:00,890 --> 01:26:03,590 Lieutenant, you will see Juliet again, within the hour! 1363 01:26:03,592 --> 01:26:05,259 Really? 1364 01:26:05,261 --> 01:26:09,329 All is prepared, jump to freedom. 1365 01:26:09,331 --> 01:26:12,466 You wish me to escape my duty. 1366 01:26:12,468 --> 01:26:15,636 I am an officer sir, I am incapable of cowardice. 1367 01:26:15,638 --> 01:26:17,304 Believe it or not sir I'm an officer myself, 1368 01:26:17,306 --> 01:26:19,106 I'm incapable of almost everything. 1369 01:26:19,108 --> 01:26:22,442 But at the moment I do happen to know what I'm talking about. 1370 01:26:22,444 --> 01:26:25,312 A man and a woman begin alone, 1371 01:26:25,314 --> 01:26:28,048 like raindrops on the window. 1372 01:26:28,050 --> 01:26:30,350 Then they lose their identity in each other, 1373 01:26:30,352 --> 01:26:32,519 of their own free will. 1374 01:26:32,521 --> 01:26:35,956 The greatest gift we have to offer is ourselves. 1375 01:26:35,958 --> 01:26:37,958 To which Juliet replied, 1376 01:26:37,960 --> 01:26:41,929 "Oh my darling, if ever I have a child, 1377 01:26:41,931 --> 01:26:43,797 I want it to be yours." 1378 01:26:46,335 --> 01:26:48,402 Where did you hear those words? 1379 01:26:48,404 --> 01:26:50,137 I listened in the shadows, 1380 01:26:50,139 --> 01:26:52,539 and took your words down in shorthand. 1381 01:26:56,545 --> 01:26:58,011 Juliet... 1382 01:27:07,523 --> 01:27:09,690 What is that? 1383 01:27:09,692 --> 01:27:11,158 A casualty. 1384 01:27:11,160 --> 01:27:13,093 Oh. 1385 01:27:13,095 --> 01:27:16,296 You take your maneuvers very seriously, eh? 1386 01:27:16,298 --> 01:27:18,098 Yes, don't you? 1387 01:27:26,909 --> 01:27:28,108 To the hospital, at the double! 1388 01:27:28,110 --> 01:27:29,977 Forward! 1389 01:27:33,682 --> 01:27:35,649 Stop! Stop! 1390 01:27:35,651 --> 01:27:37,951 I'm sorry. 1391 01:27:37,953 --> 01:27:39,086 It's our national laziness again. 1392 01:27:39,088 --> 01:27:40,988 The men are so delighted their load is lighter, 1393 01:27:40,990 --> 01:27:43,357 they didn't stop to ask themselves why. 1394 01:27:43,359 --> 01:27:45,559 Wait for me in my palace, will you? I'll deal with Juliet. 1395 01:27:57,706 --> 01:27:59,773 How's Igor? 1396 01:27:59,775 --> 01:28:03,210 Sulking, his door is locked. 1397 01:28:03,212 --> 01:28:04,811 Oh? Tried to talk to him, 1398 01:28:04,813 --> 01:28:07,481 he doesn't even answer me. 1399 01:28:07,483 --> 01:28:08,715 His own Mother. 1400 01:28:08,717 --> 01:28:11,818 Edvokia... 1401 01:28:11,820 --> 01:28:12,953 Turn 'round. 1402 01:28:12,955 --> 01:28:14,221 What? 1403 01:28:14,223 --> 01:28:15,756 Turn around. 1404 01:28:15,758 --> 01:28:17,424 Close your eyes. 1405 01:28:26,769 --> 01:28:29,102 Are you going to shoot me? Shh! 1406 01:28:51,026 --> 01:28:52,693 No, no, no. 1407 01:28:58,133 --> 01:29:00,467 I've got to think of Mom and Dad. 1408 01:29:00,469 --> 01:29:03,337 The only way you can make them happy is by being happy yourself. 1409 01:29:03,339 --> 01:29:05,138 This much, I know. 1410 01:29:05,140 --> 01:29:09,376 I've even staked the future of my nation on this conviction. 1411 01:29:09,378 --> 01:29:11,445 And if you let me down now, I shall, 1412 01:29:11,447 --> 01:29:14,781 have to pay the price of my belief in your love, 1413 01:29:14,783 --> 01:29:17,317 at the head of my army. 1414 01:29:22,191 --> 01:29:23,724 Will you come with me? 1415 01:29:27,196 --> 01:29:29,129 No. 1416 01:29:29,131 --> 01:29:30,697 No. 1417 01:29:36,071 --> 01:29:37,738 Wish me luck in the war. 1418 01:29:38,974 --> 01:29:40,874 Your war. 1419 01:29:44,646 --> 01:29:46,947 Well, what do you want me to do? 1420 01:29:49,084 --> 01:29:51,284 Lock your door and follow me. 1421 01:30:21,850 --> 01:30:23,250 Hello. 1422 01:30:25,287 --> 01:30:27,387 Uh, your book? 1423 01:30:37,699 --> 01:30:40,133 Well, you didn't need it anyway. 1424 01:30:40,135 --> 01:30:42,235 You know all the statistics. 1425 01:30:43,839 --> 01:30:45,972 I wish I knew how to forget them. 1426 01:31:06,762 --> 01:31:08,361 Oh, Otto! 1427 01:31:08,363 --> 01:31:11,131 They both called their capitals and asked for delay of 24 hours. 1428 01:31:11,133 --> 01:31:12,399 Excellent! 1429 01:31:12,401 --> 01:31:13,400 Is the army in place? 1430 01:31:13,402 --> 01:31:14,935 Everything is ready. 1431 01:32:19,368 --> 01:32:22,002 By all that's holy! 1432 01:32:22,004 --> 01:32:25,238 Do you see what I see? Shh. 1433 01:32:25,240 --> 01:32:28,909 With him you can never tell if he's not still engaged in his old profession. 1434 01:32:35,284 --> 01:32:38,285 Would you look at the workmanship on that train. 1435 01:32:38,287 --> 01:32:40,186 Oh, I just love history. 1436 01:32:40,188 --> 01:32:42,489 It's so, so old. 1437 01:33:04,913 --> 01:33:07,480 Who are they? 1438 01:33:07,482 --> 01:33:09,749 Those on the horses are landowners. 1439 01:33:09,751 --> 01:33:11,618 And those on their feet, people. 1440 01:33:11,620 --> 01:33:12,586 Ah. 1441 01:33:49,891 --> 01:33:52,459 The cap ma'am. 1442 01:34:06,642 --> 01:34:09,242 Beulah, do you wanna look like a tourist? 1443 01:34:10,545 --> 01:34:13,713 Know ye... 1444 01:34:13,715 --> 01:34:19,252 that marriage, being as much a vocation, as the church, 1445 01:34:19,254 --> 01:34:24,157 it is the solemn duty of those in love, 1446 01:34:24,159 --> 01:34:26,960 to obey their hearts. 1447 01:34:28,530 --> 01:34:31,297 Therefore, ask I you, 1448 01:34:31,299 --> 01:34:34,167 Theo... Theodore, 1449 01:34:34,169 --> 01:34:36,970 by the will of the people, 1450 01:34:36,972 --> 01:34:40,006 most Divine Protector of The Unwilling, 1451 01:34:40,008 --> 01:34:42,375 Mentor of The Undecided, 1452 01:34:42,377 --> 01:34:47,013 Emperor Absolute and Undisputed, 1453 01:34:47,015 --> 01:34:51,918 do you take this woman, to be your lawfully wedded wife? 1454 01:34:51,920 --> 01:34:54,020 I do. 1455 01:34:54,022 --> 01:34:56,022 Igor! 1456 01:34:56,024 --> 01:34:57,424 Do you... 1457 01:34:57,426 --> 01:34:59,526 Stop the ceremony! It's a trick! 1458 01:35:08,837 --> 01:35:10,270 Guards! 1459 01:35:18,580 --> 01:35:24,284 Do you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband? 1460 01:35:24,286 --> 01:35:25,752 No! 1461 01:35:25,754 --> 01:35:27,253 I do. 1462 01:35:27,255 --> 01:35:30,724 I hereby pronounce you, 1463 01:35:30,726 --> 01:35:33,093 man and wife. 1464 01:35:33,095 --> 01:35:36,396 Now go out there, my son, 1465 01:35:36,398 --> 01:35:39,799 and beat the Albanians! 1466 01:35:39,801 --> 01:35:43,203 Place a ring on her finger. 1467 01:35:51,646 --> 01:35:55,048 I don't know that ring. 1468 01:35:57,152 --> 01:36:00,520 Master Igor. 1469 01:36:01,823 --> 01:36:05,625 Miss Juliet. 1470 01:36:05,627 --> 01:36:08,928 Let the bells be rung! 1471 01:36:08,930 --> 01:36:11,965 A miracle! 1472 01:36:11,967 --> 01:36:14,667 Oh well, that's quite usual here. 1473 01:36:15,804 --> 01:36:18,238 Will you call off your army sir? 1474 01:36:18,240 --> 01:36:19,639 No sir, I will not! 1475 01:36:19,641 --> 01:36:21,975 Igor! Julie, baby! 1476 01:36:21,977 --> 01:36:23,143 Mama. 1477 01:36:23,145 --> 01:36:24,611 Mom. 1478 01:36:25,914 --> 01:36:29,215 Isn't it always left to the women to make peace? 1479 01:36:29,217 --> 01:36:32,285 Oh, Mrs. Romanoff, may I? 1480 01:36:32,287 --> 01:36:34,387 Thank you. 1481 01:36:34,389 --> 01:36:39,559 Well gentlemen, are you now ready to surrender to the inevitable? 1482 01:36:39,561 --> 01:36:42,262 This marriage will never be recognized in the Soviet Union. 1483 01:36:42,264 --> 01:36:44,931 It's not valid in the United States of America. 1484 01:36:47,936 --> 01:36:50,537 I regret your decision as much as you will. 1485 01:36:52,007 --> 01:36:55,542 Two-hundred and seventeenth Mounted Infantry Division, 1486 01:36:55,544 --> 01:36:56,776 fire! 1487 01:36:56,778 --> 01:36:58,244 No, general! No! 1488 01:36:58,246 --> 01:37:00,213 Are you out of your mind? 1489 01:37:00,215 --> 01:37:03,049 Threatening the United States Ambassador? 1490 01:37:03,051 --> 01:37:04,584 Please trust me. 1491 01:37:09,758 --> 01:37:11,157 Ready! 1492 01:37:11,159 --> 01:37:13,092 Come on, come on. 1493 01:37:13,094 --> 01:37:15,195 Why the fellow's taken leave of his senses. 1494 01:37:15,197 --> 01:37:17,497 Keep calm. Oh, Daisy. 1495 01:37:17,499 --> 01:37:19,132 Do something Randle. 1496 01:37:25,307 --> 01:37:26,639 Fire! 1497 01:37:31,847 --> 01:37:33,913 You mean you have no ammunition? 1498 01:37:36,284 --> 01:37:38,551 We never found the formula. 1499 01:37:38,553 --> 01:37:42,288 We never had the money, nor the inclination, to buy any. 1500 01:37:42,290 --> 01:37:45,058 That is our only military secret. 1501 01:37:54,903 --> 01:37:57,937 That's very good. That's very good. 1502 01:37:57,939 --> 01:38:02,108 Oh, Hooper, come on. 1503 01:38:28,069 --> 01:38:29,235 Juliet. 1504 01:38:32,007 --> 01:38:34,474 Mrs. Romanoff? Yes? 1505 01:38:34,476 --> 01:38:35,775 You know your name. 1506 01:38:39,180 --> 01:38:40,947 It worked. 1507 01:38:44,152 --> 01:38:45,618 How can we ever thank you. 1508 01:38:45,620 --> 01:38:47,687 What do you mean? My country thanks you. 1509 01:38:47,689 --> 01:38:49,222 I'm just off to New York, 1510 01:38:49,224 --> 01:38:51,925 to report our victory to the United Nations. 1511 01:38:51,927 --> 01:38:55,128 Thanks to you, Concordia has made of love a weapon 1512 01:38:55,130 --> 01:38:57,430 against which there is no defense. 1513 01:38:57,432 --> 01:39:01,701 And incidentally, the gates to my garden are open. 1514 01:39:07,509 --> 01:39:09,475 I'm sorry, but the car's broken down. 1515 01:39:09,477 --> 01:39:12,178 Again? Oh, no. 1516 01:39:12,180 --> 01:39:13,446 I'll try once more. 1517 01:40:01,396 --> 01:40:05,331 Oh, Mr. President, so sorry you can't be with us tomorrow night. 1518 01:40:05,333 --> 01:40:08,468 We're having a barbeque in honor of the Romanoffs, quite informal. 1519 01:40:08,470 --> 01:40:09,769 Black tie. 1520 01:40:09,771 --> 01:40:12,405 Alas, duty calls. 1521 01:40:12,407 --> 01:40:14,040 Excuse me. 1522 01:40:23,184 --> 01:40:25,318 Oh, Your Excellency, 1523 01:40:25,320 --> 01:40:30,123 and the day after tomorrow we're having a little, intimate sword dancing, 1524 01:40:30,125 --> 01:40:33,493 in honor of the Moulsworths. 1525 01:40:33,495 --> 01:40:36,362 Unfortunately, I can't guarantee I'll be back in time. 1526 01:40:36,364 --> 01:40:38,798 Anyway, our hearts will go with you. 1527 01:40:38,800 --> 01:40:39,832 Thank you. 1528 01:40:41,603 --> 01:40:42,602 Oh. 1529 01:41:28,583 --> 01:41:29,782 Papa! 1530 01:41:29,784 --> 01:41:30,950 Papa! 1531 01:41:38,393 --> 01:41:40,660 Hansel, to the airport. 1532 01:41:42,297 --> 01:41:45,331 Ah, for the first time in my life tonight, 1533 01:41:45,333 --> 01:41:46,833 I feel like dancing. 110984

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