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1
00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:18,817
It is to the United Nations
that this film
2
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:22,488
is affectionately dedicated.
3
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:25,090
If the United Nations didn't exist,
4
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:28,260
men would consider it
an impossible dream.
5
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:32,131
Because it does exist,
men often abuse it.
6
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,800
That is human nature.
7
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:37,736
This is a story about human nature...
8
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,372
its dreams...
9
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,345
its violence,
10
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:49,114
its power of reason.
11
00:00:50,985 --> 00:00:54,286
Uh, gentlemen,
we will resume the voting.
12
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,488
Iceland.
No.
13
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,157
India.
No.
14
00:00:58,159 --> 00:00:59,725
Indonesia.
No.
15
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,593
Iran.
Uh, yes.
16
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,095
Iraq.
Yes.
17
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,763
Ireland.
Yes.
18
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,398
Israel.
No.
19
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,067
Italy.
S�.
20
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,002
Japan.
Oh, yeah.
21
00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:11,603
Jordan.
Yes.
22
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,072
Laos.
No.
23
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,873
Lebanon.
24
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,842
Liberia.
Uh, no.
25
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,677
Libya.
No.
26
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:22,114
Luxemburg.
Uh... yes.
27
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,749
Mexico.
S�.
28
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,284
Morocco.
No.
29
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,119
Nepal.
No.
30
00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,821
Netherlands.
Yes.
31
00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:30,556
New Zealand.
Yes.
32
00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,324
Nicaragua.
No.
33
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,126
Norway.
Yes.
34
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:36,428
Pakistan.
Yes.
35
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,796
Panama.
No.
36
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,565
Paraguay.
No.
37
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,567
Peru.
Uh, no.
38
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,135
Philippines.
Yes.
39
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:45,104
Poland.
No.
40
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,005
Portugal.
41
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,674
Romania.
No.
42
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,843
Saudi Arabia.
No.
43
00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:52,411
Spain.
S�.
44
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,012
Sudan.
No.
45
00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:56,014
Sweden.
Uh, yes.
46
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,883
Thailand.
Yes.
47
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,751
Tunisia.
No.
48
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:03,021
Turkey. Turkey!
49
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,190
Yes.
50
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,092
Ukraine.
No.
51
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:09,261
United Arab Republic.
No.
52
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:13,065
Union of South Africa.
53
00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,566
Yes.
54
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,502
Soviet Union.
No.
55
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,604
United Kingdom.
Uh, yes.
56
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:20,472
United States.
Yes.
57
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,875
Uruguay.
S�.
58
00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:24,810
Venezuela.
S�.
59
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,712
Yemen.
No.
60
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,647
Yugoslavia.
No.
61
00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:40,092
Distinguished delegates, there's
no need to count the votes,
62
00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:43,996
since once again, every nation
has voted precisely as it did
63
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:46,431
on the last six occasions.
64
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:49,301
The deadlock continues.
65
00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:52,571
Concordia.
66
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,707
There's a chance.
Uh, I am, I am.
67
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,500
Tsk.
68
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:24,703
Um, Concordia, sir.
69
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,506
Concordia? What is Concordia?
I don't know. I'm afraid...
70
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,641
But it should be on the list, sir.
71
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:06,044
Concordia?
72
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,146
Where's Concordia?
73
00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,956
I'll be brief.
74
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:20,826
Mr. President,
distinguished delegates,
75
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:24,196
the Republic of Concordia
has not voted previously
76
00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:28,533
for the very simple reason that we have
been unable to catch the eye of the chair.
77
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,305
We realize to the full
78
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:35,474
our responsibility in this matter,
79
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:39,578
since we have it in our power
to end this deadlock.
80
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:43,649
However, in spite
of the great eloquence
81
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,817
of the United States delegate
82
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,920
and the surprisingly
similar eloquence
83
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,456
of the delegate
of the Soviet Union...
84
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:58,196
I haven't been able to understand
what on earth we're all talking about.
85
00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,631
Hear, hear.
86
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,834
And in view of the fact that,
in our opinion,
87
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,836
the amendment to the amendment
of the amendment
88
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,706
of the draft resolution
is incomprehensible,
89
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:11,476
my delegation regretfully abstains.
90
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,719
Who are you, sir?
I'm the president of Concordia.
91
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,888
Smile, please.
Why? I have no reason to.
92
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,723
Where is Concordia?
Why should I tell you?
93
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,259
The reason it still survives may
be because no one can find it.
94
00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:29,428
Albrecht Frucht,
Neues Mainzer Abendblatt.
95
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,330
Are you in favor
of German rearmament?
96
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,832
German rearmament?
My government was opposed
to German armament
97
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,867
at the time of the First Crusade.
98
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,970
You mean you never had
territorial ambitions?
99
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:43,875
In an atomic age, sir, it's
wiser to remain a small target.
100
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,014
To the airport
as quickly as possible.
101
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:52,150
We've got to get out of here before the
Americans have time to offer us aid.
102
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:19,177
Who's the character?
103
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,413
He's the president of Concordia.
104
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,482
That's the president?
Yes.
105
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:26,618
From the looks of him, he wouldn't
get many votes if he ran over here.
106
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,453
No, he wouldn't.
107
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:31,423
But still, he gives Dad a lot of headaches.
Oh?
108
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,574
Well...
109
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,710
Well, don't work too hard.
110
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,945
There's never any fear of that.
111
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:57,082
Freddie, isn't there anything
you wanna say to me?
112
00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:01,887
Oh, sure. Give my kind regards
to your mother and father.
113
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:04,623
Freddie, I love you.
114
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:07,759
Gee, uh, that's sweet of you.
115
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,529
Hey, wait for me!
116
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,697
Stop the plane, Joseph!
117
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:14,833
What?
I don't think I can.
118
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:18,370
You must. It's Miss Juliet, the
American ambassador's daughter.
119
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,546
I love you too!
120
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,248
Freddie?
121
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,251
That's mine.
122
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,467
Hi!
123
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:50,135
Hi.
124
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,870
Oh, hi.
Yes.
125
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,872
Now, what are you
doing here, Miss Juliet?
126
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:56,208
Well, I'm joining my parents
during the university vacation.
127
00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:59,444
Ah.
Here's my ticket.
128
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:01,246
Yours?
Yes.
129
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:04,816
You mean you paid for this trip?
130
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,321
Please, sit down anywhere.
131
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:13,358
Okay, EL-AL Flight 961.
132
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,660
Come in on Number 9 runway.
133
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,730
Sorry, Air France 718.
We'll bring you in presently.
134
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,135
EL-AL, go up again!
Don't land yet!
135
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,137
Don't land yet!
136
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,206
There's a maniac down here
taking off.
137
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,945
Maniac!
138
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:37,015
Which way are we going, Joseph?
139
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,551
Are we in a hurry?
Oh, very much so.
140
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:42,487
I must get back.
It's Independence Day tomorrow night.
141
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:46,424
Yes, I must be with my people
when the ax falls.
142
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:51,329
I'm afraid, Miss Juliet, I've stirred
up a hornets' nest in Washington.
143
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:55,967
It seems preposterous that, with
all our technological know-how,
144
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:59,304
we can allow an entire country
to get lost.
145
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:03,608
Have they an embassy here?
I'm told they have
a nominal embassy here, sir.
146
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,677
It's a furnished attic room
on Z Street,
147
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,913
but the rent
hasn't been paid for a year.
148
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,916
The FBI told me the landlord
doesn't know whom to sue.
149
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:14,419
Well, if we can't call their ambassador
here, we'll call our ambassador there.
150
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:17,022
But are you sure, sir,
that we have an embassy there?
151
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,024
That's one mistake we've never made.
152
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,293
We have embassies every place.
153
00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,295
And we're going to pour aid in there
154
00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:27,999
till they appreciate the advantages
of the democratic way of life!
155
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:32,437
We even pay their rent in
Washington, if necessary.
156
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:35,106
Hello? Hello? Paris, France.
157
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,442
I have an urgent call for Concordia.
158
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,010
The number's Concordia 2.
159
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,646
Hello, Washington? Paris...
160
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:49,087
Two, did you say?
One, two?
161
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,993
All right, all right, all right.
162
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,400
Hello, hello, hello.
163
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:05,604
Concordian National Telephone System.
164
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,440
The American Embassy?
Just a moment, please?
165
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,419
Embassy of the Soviet Union.
166
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:27,525
Washington?
Calling the American ambassador?
167
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:32,030
I'll pay 200 crowns to listen in.
168
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,032
Five hundred.
Two-fifty.
169
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,400
Five hundred.
170
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:38,103
Three hundred.
Not a crown more.
171
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:40,572
Five hundred.
172
00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:42,874
All right. Five hundred.
173
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,976
Capitalist.
174
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,281
I've got it.
175
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,284
Hello?
176
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,189
Washington?
Are you sure?
177
00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,592
Hooper, it's Washington for you.
178
00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:03,061
What kind of practical joke is this?
179
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,997
All I ever got from Washington
was a Christmas card.
180
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,565
In July.
181
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,902
Oh, Beulah.
182
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,604
I'm sorry, dear.
183
00:11:12,606 --> 00:11:13,938
Hello.
184
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:19,544
Beulah, pass me my robe.
It's the Secretary of State.
185
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,212
Wow.
Yeah.
186
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,249
Yes, sir?
187
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,084
Uh, now listen.
188
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,752
What's his name?
Hooper, sir.
189
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,454
Who?
Oh, Hooper.
190
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:32,157
Moulsworth, A. Hooper,
born June...
191
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:34,159
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
192
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,327
Are you there, Hooper?
193
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,329
Good to hear your voice again.
194
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:39,664
Now listen.
195
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:42,400
Even a country five miles square
196
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,969
has a vote equal
to that of the United States.
197
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:49,741
He did? Abstained?
198
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:52,310
Almost a deadlock he could've ended?
199
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,579
I'll say I understand.
200
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:55,980
We need that vote!
201
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,650
The Russians want that vote
as bad as we do.
202
00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:01,686
We can't afford to be caught
with our pants down.
203
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,891
What are conditions like out there?
204
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,561
Conditions don't change
much here, sir.
205
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,996
I don't think they've changed
since the Romans left.
206
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:15,734
Since the Romans left?
When was that?
207
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:19,170
What? Oh, I don't know
the exact date, sir.
208
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:20,572
Before I sent you out there?
209
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,975
Oh, sure.
The ancient Romans.
210
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,711
The ancient Romans?
211
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:30,415
Mark him down for a medical check
when he comes home on leave.
212
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:35,420
Are you there, Hooper?
Now listen.
213
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:39,224
Yeah. Yeah.
I understand.
214
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:43,128
Oil. Uranium.
Bridges. Schools.
215
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,897
Last year's missiles.
Anything they may want.
216
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:51,503
Well, good-bye, and thanks a lot.
217
00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:53,505
Thank you, sir.
218
00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:56,141
Thank you.
219
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:02,147
You forgot to ask him
where Concordia is.
220
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:07,418
Hello. I want the number
in Moscow, urgently.
221
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,854
Just a moment, please.
222
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,527
I'll get it.
223
00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:17,395
It might be for me.
Nah.
224
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,266
Hello?
225
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,335
The Soviet embassy's
going to talk to Moscow?
226
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,037
I'll pay 500 crowns.
227
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,071
A thousand.
228
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,541
A thousand?
Are you crazy?
229
00:13:29,543 --> 00:13:32,577
A thousand.
Okay, okay. A thousand.
230
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,579
I knew you'd see reason.
Hold on.
231
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,418
Da?
232
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,125
Randle!
233
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,127
## Randle!
234
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,395
What's up?
235
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,463
Come down here.
Bring your Russian grammar.
236
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,999
The Soviet ambassador's
talking to Moscow.
237
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:58,937
## Papa,telefon.
238
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:08,046
Papa,eta Moskva.
239
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,715
Moskva?
Da.
240
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,630
Aahh...
241
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:29,000
Mama, eta Moskvana telefon.Moskva?
242
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:33,304
Moskva.
243
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,180
Sit down.
244
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,749
I'm all wet, sir.
Never mind.
245
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,729
Da, da.
246
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,130
Da.
247
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:10,942
Da?
248
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,479
Shh!
249
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,413
Da.
250
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,694
Da, da, da, da...
251
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:39,771
"No effort must be spared
252
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:44,909
"to bring Concordia
into the Soviet orbit.
253
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:47,979
"Offer them tractors,
254
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,848
"grain from the Ukraine,
255
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,584
"a power plant.
256
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:57,455
"We will even send them the...
257
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,759
Bolshoi Ballet"?
258
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:09,300
So it's come to this... total peace.
259
00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:13,371
Beulah, we are not in this
country for our own enjoyment.
260
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,306
You can say that again. I'll ignore
that crack and tell you yet again...
261
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,841
Now, you listen to me,
Hooper Moulsworth.
262
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,142
...that you'd better behave
like an ambassador's wife.
263
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,211
When I married you, you were
a respectable businessman,
264
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,146
with limited but decent ambitions.
265
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:25,650
Then you got bitten by politics.
A sense of duty,
a sense of duty.
266
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,453
All this because I asked you to
dance with the president tonight.
267
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:31,656
Once and for all,
the president can't dance.
268
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:34,826
In that case, my dear,
you will teach him.
269
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:38,529
Julie, baby!
Welcome home!
270
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:42,100
Julie! Ooh, it's so good
to see you.
Hi.
271
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:46,304
Well, it's nice to see
you both so... happy.
272
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:49,007
How'd you get here?
There's no plane connection
till tomorrow.
273
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,441
I flew Concordian.
274
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:54,612
Are you crazy?
In that deathtrap!
275
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:57,615
You mean, you traveled
with the president?
I told you...
276
00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:02,086
Sure. He said he sure stirred up
a hornets' nest in Washington.
277
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,421
He's a doll.
278
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,523
Before I forget, uh,
279
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:09,127
here's this home chemistry set
I brought for your son.
280
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:12,897
Oh, thank you!
But how could you afford it?
281
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,333
Well, it does have
a slight defect in it,
282
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,970
and I found it for 98
cents in a supermarket.
283
00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:21,839
Ninety-eight cents?
That's almost a dollar.
284
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:24,709
- No. Uh-uh.
- Oh, oh...
285
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:28,980
Well, one can hide nothing
from you and your switchboard.
286
00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:31,115
Well, after all,
it was because of my switchboard
287
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,051
that you made me Minister
of Foreign Affairs.
288
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,586
No, it's because you have
the intelligence to make use
289
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,722
of what you hear on your switchboard.
290
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:40,558
That's why we made you
Minister of Foreign Affairs,
Otto.
291
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,894
What shall we do if the powers
pour aid in here?
292
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,762
Refuse it.
293
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:48,199
The Order of Odilo
the Wise, please, Otto.
294
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:52,637
First or second class?
In moments of crisis,
both.
295
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:56,474
Refuse aid?
But you know how poor
our people are.
296
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:59,177
Our entire wealth
is composed of liquor,
297
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:02,313
a few Japanese cameras,
and a library of forbidden books
298
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,582
confiscated by the Customs.
299
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:09,287
Our entire income is derived
from deliberately printing
stamps with defects in them.
300
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:12,290
And by now, even the philatelists
are growing suspicious.
301
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:16,260
Under these circumstances,
how can you ask our people
to refuse aid?
302
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:20,631
Otto, for many centuries now,
we have survived by paying
each other in bad money.
303
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:24,535
Once all money is bad,
it's as good as good money.
304
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:27,972
However, mix the two,
and we will find out for
the first time in our history
305
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,074
just how poor we really are.
306
00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,210
I'll be blunt about this, Otto.
307
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,579
We're so poor we can't afford aid.
308
00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:39,317
Ah, now you're unhappy.
Why?
309
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:42,053
Well, I hate to say this,
310
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:45,022
but why did you
have to abstain
at the United Nations?
311
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,024
Nobody would've noticed
which way we voted.
312
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:50,695
We could've remained unknown
and happy.
313
00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:53,164
Otto, my gloves, please.
314
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,633
The pair without the holes in them.
315
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,336
Both pairs have holes in them.
316
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:01,506
In that case, either pair will do.
317
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:16,420
His Excellency
the American Ambassador
and family.
318
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:32,403
Shall we dance?
Oh, sure. Go ahead.
319
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:44,749
His Excellency
the Chinese Ambassador
and Madam Wang Chin Chow.
320
00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:48,619
Good evening, Bartholomew.
His Excellency
the President
321
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,621
of the Concordian Republic.
322
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,597
Now.
323
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,632
What do you mean by that?
324
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,834
Ask him to dance.
325
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,537
Are you out of your mind?
326
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:10,141
Heavens, Beulah,
you're an instrument
of United States policy tonight.
327
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:11,809
Namaste.
328
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,347
I'd dance with him myself if I could.
329
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:19,250
Here?
330
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:21,285
The Ukraine must be very big.
331
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:22,453
Oh, no.
332
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:25,456
What a happy coincidence.
333
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,659
Yes, isn't it?
Yes, I have a very
important date. I have a...
334
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,429
In honor of the Feast
of National Independence,
335
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:35,099
the Soviet government
would like to make you a gift...
336
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:38,502
a million bushels of grain.
337
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:41,138
That's very kind of you,
Your Excellence,
but where would we put it?
338
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,074
I mean, ours is a small country.
339
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,143
With all that grain,
there wouldn't be
any more room for the people.
340
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,783
Well, it could be spread
over several years.
341
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,785
But why this generosity?
342
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:59,790
I wish to show you
the advantages
of the Eastern Bloc.
343
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,126
Let us send you the Bolshoi Ballet.
344
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:05,396
Hmm?
More than a hundred dancers,
345
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:08,633
Tchaikovsky's music...
Full orchestra.
346
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:11,302
Full orchestra.
Well, it's...
347
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:14,038
But they'd take up even
more room than the grain,
348
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,540
and you can hardly spread
them over several years.
349
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,276
Yes, yes.
350
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,077
Now.
351
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,916
And play to win.
352
00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:31,722
Aren't you ashamed of yourself,
Mr. President?
353
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:33,624
A wallflower at your own ball.
354
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,193
Oh, shall we dance?
Oh, I'd love to.
355
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:39,163
Forgive me.
356
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:43,401
You are not
to be trusted, Igor. No.
357
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:46,771
From now on, you will only laugh
when I give you the signal.
358
00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:49,106
One, two, and...
359
00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:52,510
Yes.
360
00:22:01,587 --> 00:22:04,121
You dance divinely,
Mr. President.
361
00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:06,023
You've been too sparing
with your talents. We sit...
362
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:09,226
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Let's dance.
363
00:22:12,231 --> 00:22:14,298
Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry. I...
364
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:16,300
It was my fault.
No, it was the fault
of the music.
365
00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:18,903
We're dancing the Bulka.
It's our national dance.
Oh.
366
00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:21,339
It's supposed to be danced
on the knees.
367
00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:23,808
On the knees? Oh! Oh!
368
00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:30,915
Do you mind if we
sit for a moment?
I'd like that, yes.
369
00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:33,751
My shoe strap is broken.
370
00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:39,990
Here's a table.
371
00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,327
Ah, good news from Scotland, I hope.
372
00:22:43,329 --> 00:22:45,629
Very good.
Yes, very good.
Ah.
373
00:22:45,631 --> 00:22:48,032
I was, uh...
374
00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:50,835
Well, what do you know?
Said the spider
to the fly.
375
00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:54,572
Shrewd as they come,
Mr. President.
376
00:22:54,574 --> 00:22:57,742
But since you're so shrewd,
why didn't you vote
for our amendment?
377
00:22:57,744 --> 00:22:59,577
I didn't understand your amendment.
378
00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:01,512
Oh, come, Mr. President.
379
00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:03,180
Any child can understand it.
380
00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:06,317
That may be so,
but unfortunately,
I'm no longer a child.
381
00:23:08,154 --> 00:23:11,522
Mr. President,
it surprises me that you
don't see the advantages
382
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:13,624
of belonging to the Western Bloc.
383
00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:16,227
You've got to be strong to be free.
384
00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:19,730
How about some jet fighters,
with instructors thrown in?
385
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,832
Very generous of you,
Your Excellency.
Unfortunately,
386
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:26,137
we can't accept any aircraft
with landing speeds
of over 50 miles an hour
387
00:23:26,139 --> 00:23:28,906
because they run over
onto foreign soil.
388
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:31,275
The size of our country's against us.
389
00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:34,412
Do you need vaccines, serum, plasma?
390
00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:37,982
No. All we really need
in that line is illness.
391
00:23:39,152 --> 00:23:41,152
There must be something you need,
392
00:23:41,154 --> 00:23:43,788
and I want to hear about it
by 3:00 tomorrow.
393
00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:47,591
And since you're so healthy,
we'll make it on the tennis court.
394
00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:51,095
Is that an ultimatum?
No.
395
00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:54,365
It's a deadline.
396
00:23:54,367 --> 00:23:56,300
Telephone, Mr. President.
397
00:23:56,302 --> 00:23:59,003
Washington?
London.
398
00:24:00,072 --> 00:24:03,040
London?
Forgive me.
399
00:24:18,357 --> 00:24:22,059
Otto, that call didn't
really come from London, did it?
400
00:24:22,061 --> 00:24:25,229
- Oh, no, of course not.
- I thought you needed rescuing.
401
00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:35,606
What's this?
Miss Juliet not dancing?
402
00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:38,676
I don't feel like it.
403
00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:41,212
Well, personally,
I'm very glad to hear that.
404
00:24:41,214 --> 00:24:44,315
But why so miserable?
You must know
that in our country,
405
00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:46,484
misery is a punishable a crime.
406
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,953
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
407
00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:51,155
I'll try and snap out of it.
408
00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:54,291
Yes, well,
we're usually quite lenient
with first offenders,
409
00:24:54,293 --> 00:24:57,261
especially when there are
mitigating circumstances.
410
00:24:57,263 --> 00:25:00,831
That young fellow in New York...
uh, charming.
411
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,933
Freddie? Did you like him?
412
00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:04,935
Yes.
413
00:25:07,707 --> 00:25:10,407
Oh, I...
I do miss him so much.
414
00:25:10,409 --> 00:25:12,776
Well, we'll leave.
415
00:25:12,778 --> 00:25:17,481
I think that misery is something
that has to be enjoyed alone.
416
00:25:17,483 --> 00:25:19,550
Come, Otto.
417
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:41,272
Who's this? Hamlet?
418
00:25:42,608 --> 00:25:44,708
Merciful heavens,
Lieutenant Romanoff!
419
00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:49,813
A young man like you all alone on
a night designed for happiness?
420
00:25:49,815 --> 00:25:53,183
I have failed, and I was
trying to criticize myself.
421
00:25:53,185 --> 00:25:55,085
Criticize yourself? Why?
422
00:25:55,087 --> 00:25:58,722
You'll always find plenty
of people to do that for you.
423
00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:03,260
Father told me I laughed
excessively at your jokes.
424
00:26:03,262 --> 00:26:07,197
It is impossible to laugh
excessively at my jokes.
425
00:26:08,568 --> 00:26:10,834
Do you really think so?
426
00:26:10,836 --> 00:26:13,170
I know it for a fact.
427
00:26:14,507 --> 00:26:16,807
You are very understanding.
428
00:26:16,809 --> 00:26:18,809
Now, if you will forgive me.
No, no.
429
00:26:18,811 --> 00:26:22,680
If you must brood, go and
do it in that direction.
430
00:26:22,682 --> 00:26:24,181
Why?
Oh, I don't know.
431
00:26:24,183 --> 00:26:26,517
It's, uh, quieter.
432
00:26:26,519 --> 00:26:28,953
Fewer people.
433
00:26:28,955 --> 00:26:30,955
Thank you very much.
434
00:26:32,391 --> 00:26:34,558
You're much too impetuous.
Why?
435
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,493
Why did you
send him that way?
Why not?
436
00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:39,430
A boy and a girl?
Uh-huh.
437
00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:42,366
They're not just an ordinary
boy and girl, are they?
438
00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:45,536
No.
439
00:27:21,107 --> 00:27:23,040
Are you real?
440
00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:25,409
What?
441
00:27:26,612 --> 00:27:29,747
I only ask because...
442
00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:34,251
you are the most
beautiful woman
I have ever seen.
443
00:27:34,253 --> 00:27:37,154
Me, beautiful?
Well, I've been told
I was pretty...
444
00:27:37,156 --> 00:27:39,923
Beautiful, beautiful!
445
00:27:39,925 --> 00:27:42,860
Everything about you surprises me,
446
00:27:42,862 --> 00:27:44,862
as does fine music,
447
00:27:44,864 --> 00:27:48,766
or poetry, or a seascape.
448
00:27:48,768 --> 00:27:51,168
People think a sky is blue.
449
00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:54,605
Sky is often green, orange,
450
00:27:54,607 --> 00:27:57,141
black, and purple.
451
00:27:57,143 --> 00:27:58,976
You are like that.
452
00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:01,311
Purple?
453
00:28:01,313 --> 00:28:03,947
Surprising.
454
00:28:03,949 --> 00:28:06,083
Your eyes are brown.
455
00:28:06,085 --> 00:28:09,086
One would expect dark hair,
wouldn't one?
456
00:28:09,088 --> 00:28:11,655
And yet, it is golden.
457
00:28:12,758 --> 00:28:14,591
Golden.
458
00:28:15,995 --> 00:28:19,730
It's not dyed, is it?
N-No. No.
459
00:28:19,732 --> 00:28:22,166
That is its natural color.
460
00:28:22,168 --> 00:28:24,168
Mm.
461
00:28:24,170 --> 00:28:26,270
Are you frightened?
462
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,074
Frankly, yes.
463
00:28:31,811 --> 00:28:34,611
I, also.
464
00:28:34,613 --> 00:28:37,281
Well, that's a relief.
465
00:28:39,985 --> 00:28:41,852
This is terrible.
466
00:28:42,955 --> 00:28:44,321
Why?
467
00:28:44,323 --> 00:28:48,025
If I did what I want to do,
468
00:28:48,027 --> 00:28:49,960
I might be misunderstood.
469
00:28:52,264 --> 00:28:54,298
How could you be?
470
00:28:55,701 --> 00:28:57,768
I don't even know you.
471
00:28:58,838 --> 00:29:00,771
Don't you?
472
00:29:02,641 --> 00:29:05,142
Perhaps I do.
473
00:29:05,144 --> 00:29:08,879
I've been waiting for 19 years.
474
00:29:08,881 --> 00:29:11,281
Only for 19 years?
475
00:29:11,283 --> 00:29:13,984
Mm-mm. Forever.
476
00:29:40,913 --> 00:29:43,046
Oh, Igor, I must go home.
477
00:29:43,048 --> 00:29:45,716
You have parents?
Yes.
478
00:29:45,718 --> 00:29:47,484
A mom and dad.
479
00:29:47,486 --> 00:29:48,986
I, also.
480
00:29:48,988 --> 00:29:51,989
Oh, what a coincidence.
481
00:29:51,991 --> 00:29:55,125
Where will you eat lunch?
482
00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:57,294
Aren't you gonna sleep?
483
00:29:57,296 --> 00:30:00,264
What is old age for if not to sleep?
484
00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,667
Oh, Igor, I really... I...
485
00:30:46,679 --> 00:30:49,313
Ahhh.
486
00:30:49,315 --> 00:30:51,248
Oh.
487
00:30:53,886 --> 00:30:56,820
This is where I leave you,
my dearest.
488
00:30:59,225 --> 00:31:02,659
Where do you live?
In there.
489
00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:10,033
Well, what's the matter?
490
00:31:11,337 --> 00:31:14,838
I... I live there.
491
00:31:20,679 --> 00:31:23,180
Oh, no. No.
492
00:31:27,653 --> 00:31:29,987
Hup, two, three...
493
00:31:35,227 --> 00:31:36,760
Good morning!
Uh...
494
00:31:37,863 --> 00:31:39,696
Morning, Mr. President!
495
00:31:39,698 --> 00:31:42,366
Great party last night.
496
00:31:46,472 --> 00:31:48,505
Hup, two, three, four.
497
00:31:59,718 --> 00:32:02,152
I... I must go.
498
00:32:05,057 --> 00:32:06,156
Juliet.
499
00:32:28,180 --> 00:32:30,948
Sorry if I woke you up.
Good night.
500
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,293
As I was saying,
501
00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:45,996
Igor doesn't touch his
breakfast, he sulks,
502
00:32:45,998 --> 00:32:48,131
he goes out without saying good-bye.
503
00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:50,634
Is he ill?
He needs a wife.
504
00:32:50,636 --> 00:32:52,769
I remember the symptoms.
505
00:32:52,771 --> 00:32:56,440
In fact, dear,
I have taken steps
to procure him one.
506
00:32:56,442 --> 00:32:59,276
Oh, is that why you went
to the post office?
Of course.
507
00:32:59,278 --> 00:33:02,879
I, uh...
I cabled my old friend,
508
00:33:02,881 --> 00:33:05,816
Honored Hero of Socialist Labor
Vasili Zlotochienko.
509
00:33:05,818 --> 00:33:08,719
Zlotochienko?
He has a daughter
in the merchant marine.
510
00:33:08,721 --> 00:33:11,288
Oh, you are a genius.
511
00:33:11,290 --> 00:33:14,591
An Honored Hero
of Socialist Labor
in the family.
512
00:33:14,593 --> 00:33:18,261
It exceeds my wildest dreams.
513
00:33:24,570 --> 00:33:26,937
You always stop here.
Why?
514
00:33:26,939 --> 00:33:28,872
The dog always stops here.
515
00:33:28,874 --> 00:33:32,609
You should train it
to stop elsewhere.
Why?
516
00:33:32,611 --> 00:33:35,779
This is a shop displaying
decadent, bourgeois hats, Evdokia.
517
00:33:35,781 --> 00:33:38,749
What revolting confections.
518
00:33:38,751 --> 00:33:41,118
My advice to you is don't turn up.
519
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,719
How can I get out of it now?
520
00:33:42,721 --> 00:33:45,722
Well, do you feel
like playing?
I loathe exercise.
521
00:33:45,724 --> 00:33:47,858
Well, I'll send the boy
to say you're ill.
522
00:33:47,860 --> 00:33:49,459
Attila!
523
00:33:51,397 --> 00:33:54,965
Go to the American Embassy and say the
president regrets he has tennis elbow.
524
00:33:54,967 --> 00:33:57,634
You understand?
525
00:33:57,636 --> 00:34:00,937
All right.
You can have a chocolate
when you come back.
526
00:34:00,939 --> 00:34:04,741
What would the nation
do without you, Otto?
527
00:34:15,487 --> 00:34:18,188
Oh, what a landscape.
528
00:34:18,190 --> 00:34:21,925
Do we any, uh...
any laundry done?
529
00:34:21,927 --> 00:34:23,827
I do it all myself.
530
00:34:23,829 --> 00:34:26,430
Evdokia, you shouldn't work so hard.
531
00:34:26,432 --> 00:34:28,365
If you insist.
532
00:34:28,367 --> 00:34:31,802
There is a little shop
near the embassy.
533
00:34:31,804 --> 00:34:34,237
No, no. Never mind.
534
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,673
Whatever made you
think of the laundry?
535
00:34:36,675 --> 00:34:38,942
Oh, well, I don't know.
I, uh,
536
00:34:38,944 --> 00:34:40,610
just, uh...
537
00:34:43,916 --> 00:34:45,849
Freddie?
538
00:34:45,851 --> 00:34:47,350
Who's Freddie?
539
00:34:47,352 --> 00:34:48,819
Freddie?
540
00:34:48,821 --> 00:34:50,821
Oh, it's worse and worse.
541
00:34:50,823 --> 00:34:53,256
He's the young man Juliet's
in love with in New York.
542
00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:56,660
In New York?
Does she cultivate
fianc�s in every metropolis?
543
00:34:56,662 --> 00:34:59,729
Well, I don't know.
I mean, it's hardly
my business, is it?
544
00:34:59,731 --> 00:35:01,431
There's no need to be
unpleasant about it.
545
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,767
After all, this new affair
was entirely your doing.
546
00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:06,636
Yes, I know.
I'm... I'm... I'm very sorry.
547
00:35:06,638 --> 00:35:08,772
If we can't prevent Freddie
from coming,
548
00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:10,774
you might as well send off
Romanoff's cable.
549
00:35:10,776 --> 00:35:14,211
After all,
it's easier to live
with an eternal square
550
00:35:14,213 --> 00:35:16,146
than with an eternal triangle.
551
00:35:16,148 --> 00:35:18,315
Boy!
552
00:35:18,317 --> 00:35:20,117
Attila!
553
00:35:20,119 --> 00:35:22,185
Take this to
the American Embassy at once.
554
00:35:22,187 --> 00:35:26,490
And since it's
a greetings telegram, you will
smile when you deliver it.
555
00:35:27,860 --> 00:35:30,727
All right. You shall have
a chocolate when you come back.
556
00:35:37,736 --> 00:35:39,903
Oh, hello.
557
00:35:39,905 --> 00:35:42,706
What have you there, little boy?
558
00:35:42,708 --> 00:35:45,041
Oh, what a pretty telegram.
559
00:35:46,945 --> 00:35:49,546
I'll deliver it for you.
560
00:35:49,548 --> 00:35:51,882
Would you care for a chocolate?
561
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:56,019
Two chocolates?
562
00:35:56,021 --> 00:35:58,021
You Concordians are all alike.
563
00:35:58,023 --> 00:35:59,956
Here. Take the box.
564
00:36:04,396 --> 00:36:08,031
"Whoopee."
What does that signify?
565
00:36:08,033 --> 00:36:10,767
It is an American way
of expressing delight.
566
00:36:10,769 --> 00:36:13,069
"Whoopee"?
567
00:36:13,071 --> 00:36:15,939
Mm.
568
00:36:15,941 --> 00:36:18,508
"Operation Concordia is on.
569
00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:21,077
"Flying shortest route.
Keep secret.
570
00:36:21,079 --> 00:36:24,047
Wish to surprise.
Signed, Freddie."
571
00:36:24,049 --> 00:36:27,884
Oh, it cannot be important.
It's not in code.
572
00:36:27,886 --> 00:36:31,388
Your Excellency, there
are times when the obvious
573
00:36:31,390 --> 00:36:34,024
is the most subtle of methods.
574
00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:37,861
Yeah, that's true.
575
00:36:40,933 --> 00:36:43,667
"Operation Concordia,
Operation Concordia."
576
00:36:43,669 --> 00:36:46,937
That... That sounds military.
It could mean that, uh...
577
00:36:49,041 --> 00:36:51,041
"Flying shortest route"...
578
00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:53,276
One airplane, or a thousand?
579
00:36:53,278 --> 00:36:55,011
A thousand?
580
00:36:55,013 --> 00:36:58,515
"Keep secret."
Of course!
581
00:36:58,517 --> 00:37:00,517
"Wish to surp"...
582
00:37:00,519 --> 00:37:02,586
Surprise whom?
The Concordians?
583
00:37:02,588 --> 00:37:04,654
Concordians? No, no.
584
00:37:04,656 --> 00:37:08,124
Us. Us. "Freddie."
585
00:37:08,126 --> 00:37:10,927
Freddie.
Now, who is Freddie?
586
00:37:10,929 --> 00:37:13,964
"Freddie" is a code word,
587
00:37:13,966 --> 00:37:16,233
which I will crack
as soon as I have a moment.
588
00:37:16,235 --> 00:37:18,435
You think so?
589
00:37:18,437 --> 00:37:21,004
Meanwhile, I think a call
to Moscow is imperative.
590
00:37:21,006 --> 00:37:22,439
Oh, yes, yes.
591
00:37:22,441 --> 00:37:25,609
If the Americans
take Moscow by surprise,
592
00:37:25,611 --> 00:37:27,544
our lives won't be worth living.
593
00:37:27,546 --> 00:37:29,212
Oh, I agree.
594
00:37:29,214 --> 00:37:32,482
Military information
in a greetings telegram.
595
00:37:32,484 --> 00:37:35,418
I tell you, the Americans
will stop at nothing.
596
00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:38,188
Moscow. The same number?
597
00:37:38,190 --> 00:37:41,891
I understand. Most urgent.
598
00:37:41,893 --> 00:37:44,127
"Voopee."
599
00:37:44,129 --> 00:37:45,929
"Voopee"?
600
00:37:53,505 --> 00:37:55,972
"Voopee." "Voopee."
601
00:37:55,974 --> 00:37:57,941
"Voopee."
602
00:38:01,346 --> 00:38:04,748
"Operation Concordia is on."
603
00:38:06,151 --> 00:38:09,286
"Wish to surprise"?
604
00:38:29,708 --> 00:38:32,709
I think a telegram intended
for the American Embassy
605
00:38:32,711 --> 00:38:35,211
was delivered here by mistake.
606
00:38:35,213 --> 00:38:38,381
Oh, yes. Here it is.
607
00:38:38,383 --> 00:38:40,617
We have, of course, not opened it.
608
00:38:40,619 --> 00:38:42,552
Of course not.
609
00:38:43,955 --> 00:38:46,056
Would you care for a chocolate?
610
00:38:50,062 --> 00:38:51,995
I never eat chocolates.
611
00:39:02,941 --> 00:39:05,208
He is taking it to the Americans.
612
00:39:05,210 --> 00:39:08,244
I will send an ultimatum
to Concordia at once.
613
00:39:08,246 --> 00:39:10,547
If we don't, the others will!
614
00:39:10,549 --> 00:39:13,516
Oh, at last the Capitalists
615
00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:17,487
will realize that if necessary,
we will fight...
616
00:39:17,489 --> 00:39:19,522
to preserve peace.
617
00:39:19,524 --> 00:39:22,292
What was that?
618
00:39:22,294 --> 00:39:24,060
There's no doubt about it.
619
00:39:24,062 --> 00:39:26,830
Our intelligence has reported
large-scale troop movements
620
00:39:26,832 --> 00:39:29,666
all over the satellite territories.
621
00:39:32,571 --> 00:39:35,405
Oh. Okay.
Put him through.
622
00:39:35,407 --> 00:39:38,575
Okay, Tom. This is it.
623
00:39:42,347 --> 00:39:45,982
Hello. In code?
624
00:39:45,984 --> 00:39:49,185
Hello.
This is Red Herring.
625
00:39:49,187 --> 00:39:51,621
Come in, Red Herring.
626
00:39:51,623 --> 00:39:54,224
This is Black Widow.
627
00:39:54,226 --> 00:39:56,226
Listen carefully now.
628
00:39:56,228 --> 00:40:00,997
Wild fowl never migrate
on February 30th.
629
00:40:00,999 --> 00:40:01,931
Okay?
630
00:40:05,170 --> 00:40:09,472
There are ten red roses
in my garden. Period.
631
00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:16,312
They bloom at dawn.
Any other message?
632
00:40:16,314 --> 00:40:19,549
Oh, express our continued
confidence and respect
and all that sort of thing.
633
00:40:19,551 --> 00:40:21,484
You know, in your own terms.
634
00:40:21,486 --> 00:40:24,154
The flag is still there.
Anything else?
635
00:40:24,156 --> 00:40:26,156
Tell him the army's
right in there with him.
636
00:40:26,158 --> 00:40:28,591
One man's meat
is another man's poison.
637
00:40:28,593 --> 00:40:31,428
Oh, we appreciate that, sir.
638
00:40:31,430 --> 00:40:32,862
And the navy.
639
00:40:32,864 --> 00:40:37,367
Water, water everywhere,
and not a drop to drink.
640
00:40:39,971 --> 00:40:41,404
Wow.
641
00:40:44,810 --> 00:40:46,810
What's the matter, Randle?
Sit down.
642
00:40:46,812 --> 00:40:49,412
Brother, this is it.
643
00:40:49,414 --> 00:40:51,247
What do you mean?
644
00:40:51,249 --> 00:40:53,817
No more punches to pull,
Mr. Ambassador.
645
00:40:53,819 --> 00:40:55,885
This could be the real thing.
646
00:40:57,489 --> 00:41:00,657
I want to marry you,
with our parents' approval.
647
00:41:01,726 --> 00:41:05,395
Oh, Igor,
you must be crazy.
How?
648
00:41:05,397 --> 00:41:09,966
I don't know, but it can be done.
649
00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:15,004
I said I'd only be gone
for a few minutes,
and it's been hours.
650
00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:18,374
It's an endless surrender.
651
00:41:18,376 --> 00:41:21,945
Someday,
one has to stop escaping
and say, "No further."
652
00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:26,449
Someday, sweetheart.
Not now.
653
00:41:33,758 --> 00:41:35,992
Where have you been?
654
00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:37,660
Nowhere.
655
00:41:37,662 --> 00:41:40,396
You know, it was lovely outside.
656
00:41:40,398 --> 00:41:42,732
You've been off your food lately.
657
00:41:42,734 --> 00:41:45,568
I wish you'd tell me
what's wrong, sugar.
658
00:41:45,570 --> 00:41:47,637
You don't look so good yourself, Pop.
659
00:41:47,639 --> 00:41:51,374
I got problems.
660
00:41:53,979 --> 00:41:56,479
Ah, we're a happy family
deep down, Julie.
661
00:41:56,481 --> 00:41:58,915
I guess it's just this life,
662
00:41:58,917 --> 00:42:01,584
this diplomacy.
663
00:42:01,586 --> 00:42:05,989
Sometimes I feel
I'd like to give it all up
and go back home.
664
00:42:05,991 --> 00:42:10,193
Give your mother and you
a chance. And myself.
665
00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:14,998
Go back to the family business...
electric light fixtures.
666
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,166
Something I know about.
667
00:42:17,168 --> 00:42:19,836
Something I can live with.
668
00:42:19,838 --> 00:42:22,272
That's enough for me.
669
00:42:22,274 --> 00:42:26,609
When you talk like that, Pop,
I... I love you very much.
670
00:42:26,611 --> 00:42:29,045
There you are.
Did you tell her, Hooper?
671
00:42:29,047 --> 00:42:31,814
I was just on the point
of doing so, Beulah.
672
00:42:31,816 --> 00:42:35,552
Julie... Freddie!
673
00:42:35,554 --> 00:42:37,554
What about him?
674
00:42:37,556 --> 00:42:40,290
He's flying in here tomorrow morning.
675
00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:43,393
Isn't that great?
676
00:42:43,395 --> 00:42:45,828
Hmm?
677
00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:55,171
Julie, what's the matter?
678
00:42:56,508 --> 00:42:59,509
I'm not in love with Freddie!
679
00:42:59,511 --> 00:43:01,844
You're not?
No!
680
00:43:03,381 --> 00:43:05,048
But you're engaged!
681
00:43:05,050 --> 00:43:08,484
He's flying out here!
At his own expense.
682
00:43:08,486 --> 00:43:10,620
There's someone else, Hooper.
683
00:43:10,622 --> 00:43:13,489
You're right, Mom.
There is.
684
00:43:13,491 --> 00:43:17,493
Someone else?
There can't be.
685
00:43:17,495 --> 00:43:19,796
When did this happen?
In New York?
686
00:43:21,132 --> 00:43:22,465
Here.
687
00:43:22,467 --> 00:43:25,134
Here?
688
00:43:25,136 --> 00:43:27,070
Who is this other guy?
689
00:43:28,173 --> 00:43:30,506
Igor Vadimovitch...
690
00:43:31,676 --> 00:43:34,277
Romanoff,
the son of their ambassador.
691
00:43:34,279 --> 00:43:36,646
What?
692
00:43:39,651 --> 00:43:42,518
I think I'll go get some rest now.
693
00:43:49,694 --> 00:43:53,763
Maybe we didn't treat her right
when she was a baby.
694
00:43:53,765 --> 00:43:56,265
On top of all my other worries...
695
00:43:56,267 --> 00:43:59,936
this, the enemy within.
696
00:43:59,938 --> 00:44:02,839
I was never really sold on Freddie.
697
00:44:02,841 --> 00:44:04,941
Not 100%.
698
00:44:04,943 --> 00:44:07,710
That is neither here nor there.
699
00:44:07,712 --> 00:44:11,447
The fact is that our daughter
has fallen for a Commie!
700
00:44:11,449 --> 00:44:13,383
A Communist, Beulah!
701
00:44:13,385 --> 00:44:15,318
And when I say Communist, Beulah,
702
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,887
I don't just mean a guy
who sent a food package
703
00:44:17,889 --> 00:44:20,523
to the wrong side in Spain.
704
00:44:20,525 --> 00:44:24,761
I mean the son of a
high-ranking Soviet executive.
705
00:44:30,035 --> 00:44:32,969
Is it your habit
to interrupt us during dinner?
706
00:44:32,971 --> 00:44:37,540
Sometimes it is necessary
to disregard protocol,
Your Excellency.
707
00:44:37,542 --> 00:44:40,076
I must denounce your son.
708
00:44:41,179 --> 00:44:42,578
My son?
709
00:44:47,252 --> 00:44:50,420
What's that on your cheek?
Have you cut yourself?
710
00:44:50,422 --> 00:44:52,455
Lipstick.
711
00:44:54,926 --> 00:44:56,859
Let me denounce myself.
712
00:45:01,566 --> 00:45:03,499
I am in love.
713
00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:09,305
A fine time you choose, I must say,
714
00:45:09,307 --> 00:45:12,475
with
Marfa Vassilievna Zlotochienko
arriving tomorrow.
715
00:45:12,477 --> 00:45:13,643
Who?
716
00:45:13,645 --> 00:45:14,610
Your wife!
717
00:45:16,147 --> 00:45:18,981
My wife?
718
00:45:18,983 --> 00:45:23,986
The heroic commander
of the Auxiliary Fisheries
Protection vessel,Dostoievsky.
719
00:45:23,988 --> 00:45:26,522
But I've never even heard
of this female.
720
00:45:26,524 --> 00:45:31,294
We intended to introduce you
before the wedding.
Besides, I...
721
00:45:31,296 --> 00:45:35,331
Are you incapable
of listening to a conversation
without writing everything down?
722
00:45:35,333 --> 00:45:37,400
Be careful, Vadim.
723
00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:39,702
These are family matters.
Kindly leave the room.
724
00:45:39,704 --> 00:45:45,408
Your family matters
are of national importance,
Your Excellency.
725
00:45:45,410 --> 00:45:48,211
Not only do I have here
for the archives in Moscow
726
00:45:48,213 --> 00:45:49,946
various photographs of your son
727
00:45:51,015 --> 00:45:54,083
embracing a certain young lady,
728
00:45:54,085 --> 00:45:56,519
but also some of your wife
729
00:45:56,521 --> 00:46:00,156
smiling at a subversive hat.
730
00:46:00,158 --> 00:46:04,460
And one of you
731
00:46:04,462 --> 00:46:07,430
gazing at the ankles of a...
732
00:46:07,432 --> 00:46:10,800
a local laundress.
733
00:46:17,308 --> 00:46:19,175
Sit down.
734
00:46:22,113 --> 00:46:25,915
While we're on the subject, Comrade,
735
00:46:25,917 --> 00:46:28,284
what about this,
736
00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:32,555
which I found among
your personal belongings?
737
00:46:32,557 --> 00:46:34,323
You've been through my suitcase!
738
00:46:34,325 --> 00:46:37,660
You go through my desk every evening.
739
00:46:37,662 --> 00:46:42,064
I only returned the compliment.
And what do I find?
740
00:46:42,066 --> 00:46:45,101
Decadent Capitalist magazines.
741
00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:52,241
"Drug Addiction in Cincinnati.
742
00:46:52,243 --> 00:46:55,044
Boston With the Lid off."
743
00:46:55,046 --> 00:46:57,847
And as if that were not sufficient,
744
00:46:57,849 --> 00:47:00,650
postcards of an indisputably
suggestive nature,
745
00:47:00,652 --> 00:47:03,286
depicting the ruins of Pompeii
746
00:47:03,288 --> 00:47:08,291
in a most unscholarly light!
747
00:47:08,293 --> 00:47:12,061
Explain yourself, Comrade.
748
00:47:12,063 --> 00:47:17,700
I have collected this material
in order to furnish the party
with proof of Western decadence.
749
00:47:19,504 --> 00:47:22,705
It is advisable to confess.
750
00:47:30,982 --> 00:47:33,249
I confess.
751
00:47:34,652 --> 00:47:37,820
I'm so lonely, Your Excellency.
752
00:47:37,822 --> 00:47:40,923
Everyone is frightened of me.
753
00:47:40,925 --> 00:47:43,693
I have no friends.
754
00:47:43,695 --> 00:47:48,664
The only kindness people show me
is motivated by... by fear.
755
00:47:52,904 --> 00:47:54,370
Here.
Take my handkerchief.
756
00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:57,039
A handkerchief?
757
00:47:57,041 --> 00:48:00,676
When I could flood the Volga
with my tears.
758
00:48:02,981 --> 00:48:06,616
I hate my job.
Hate it! Hate it!
759
00:48:06,618 --> 00:48:10,386
Well, at least we'll have
a little peace and quiet
from now on.
760
00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:12,788
No! No.
761
00:48:12,790 --> 00:48:16,592
I am not the head of the
organization in this country.
762
00:48:18,696 --> 00:48:20,763
There's someone else
above you?
Yes.
763
00:48:20,765 --> 00:48:21,864
Who?
I...
764
00:48:21,866 --> 00:48:23,566
Shh!
765
00:48:30,008 --> 00:48:31,774
Thanks, Kiva.
766
00:48:44,622 --> 00:48:46,622
The cook?
767
00:48:46,624 --> 00:48:49,058
Yes.
768
00:48:49,060 --> 00:48:52,828
She radios to headquarters
directly from the icebox.
769
00:48:52,830 --> 00:48:57,066
That's why she will
never let me in the kitchen.
770
00:48:58,436 --> 00:49:01,637
There may be microphones
concealed here.
771
00:49:03,775 --> 00:49:07,677
Well, now I have to become
unpleasant again,
772
00:49:07,679 --> 00:49:10,613
but at least you will know
that I don't really mean it.
773
00:49:10,615 --> 00:49:12,281
Yeah.
774
00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:14,884
We must go on
as if nothing has happened.
775
00:49:14,886 --> 00:49:17,053
But a great deal has happened.
776
00:49:17,055 --> 00:49:19,989
You all seem to have
forgotten about it.
I am in love!
777
00:49:19,991 --> 00:49:22,591
Be reasonable.
Please be...
778
00:49:22,593 --> 00:49:25,227
Well, what are we all
running away from?
I'm in love.
779
00:49:25,229 --> 00:49:27,663
Who is she?
Some penniless local girl?
780
00:49:27,665 --> 00:49:29,231
She's the daughter of an ambassador.
781
00:49:29,233 --> 00:49:32,401
Ambassador!
Ambassador?
782
00:49:32,403 --> 00:49:34,737
Then we have nothing to hide.
783
00:49:34,739 --> 00:49:36,272
Which ambassador?
784
00:49:38,643 --> 00:49:41,177
The ambassador...
785
00:49:41,179 --> 00:49:43,212
of the United States of America.
786
00:49:43,214 --> 00:49:45,281
Oh!
787
00:49:50,855 --> 00:49:55,791
Are you aware of the words
you have just uttered?
788
00:49:55,793 --> 00:49:59,028
Swine!
789
00:49:59,030 --> 00:50:01,731
Interventionist!
790
00:50:03,301 --> 00:50:06,435
Anarchist.
Saboteur!
Vadim!
791
00:50:06,437 --> 00:50:09,305
Trotskyist!
792
00:50:09,307 --> 00:50:11,240
You will leave the room.
793
00:50:12,643 --> 00:50:14,577
Why are you smiling?
794
00:50:15,646 --> 00:50:18,481
I will not be alone.
Huh?
795
00:50:20,218 --> 00:50:22,218
My son...
796
00:50:22,220 --> 00:50:24,020
Uh...
797
00:50:24,022 --> 00:50:27,590
You know, I see in Pravda
that our manganese production
798
00:50:27,592 --> 00:50:32,628
has increased
by another 2,018 short tons.
799
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,935
Oh, uh, that is
a cause for rejoicing.
800
00:50:39,937 --> 00:50:41,337
Mm-hmm.
801
00:50:41,339 --> 00:50:43,339
Yes.
802
00:50:43,341 --> 00:50:46,142
Soon we will have
sufficient manganese
803
00:50:46,144 --> 00:50:50,079
to, uh... to do
whatever we want with it.
804
00:50:50,081 --> 00:50:52,048
That is true, yes.
805
00:50:52,050 --> 00:50:57,520
But we must not weaken
our efforts. No.
806
00:50:57,522 --> 00:51:00,122
We can never have enough...
807
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:04,627
manganese.
808
00:51:08,666 --> 00:51:11,300
I just can't eat.
809
00:51:11,302 --> 00:51:13,736
I know how you feel.
Oh, so well.
810
00:51:13,738 --> 00:51:15,438
But it'll pass.
811
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,007
Well, when you met Daddy, did...
812
00:51:18,009 --> 00:51:21,010
did you hear a little bell?
813
00:51:21,012 --> 00:51:22,678
Certainly not.
814
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:24,980
I did when I met Igor.
815
00:51:24,982 --> 00:51:28,717
It seemed to say,
"This is him,
the father of your children.
816
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:30,419
This is home."
817
00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:33,355
A little bell?
818
00:51:33,357 --> 00:51:36,892
There was music playing,
but I... I didn't hear it.
819
00:51:36,894 --> 00:51:40,729
I just saw a pair of eyes
I could lose myself in.
820
00:51:40,731 --> 00:51:44,867
So stern and yet so sweet,
and so adventurous.
821
00:51:44,869 --> 00:51:49,605
Mom, I can still feel
his hand on my hair...
822
00:51:49,607 --> 00:51:52,274
strong and manly
and... and yet so soft.
823
00:51:52,276 --> 00:51:55,845
And then he said,
"The greatest gift
we have to offer
824
00:51:55,847 --> 00:51:57,279
is ourselves."
825
00:52:05,590 --> 00:52:07,056
Mom.
826
00:52:15,933 --> 00:52:19,335
Beulah!
What's the matter
with you?
827
00:52:19,337 --> 00:52:22,071
Hooper, you have no poetry.
828
00:52:22,073 --> 00:52:23,305
Mm-hmm.
829
00:52:23,307 --> 00:52:26,108
I'm gonna get Freddie
from the airport.
830
00:52:26,110 --> 00:52:29,145
How are you gonna tell him?
Diplomatically, dear.
831
00:52:30,214 --> 00:52:32,281
And politically.
832
00:52:51,235 --> 00:52:52,902
You called, madam?
833
00:52:52,904 --> 00:52:54,770
Why, when there are plenty
of empty seats,
834
00:52:54,772 --> 00:52:56,906
do I have to be sitting
next to this man?
835
00:52:56,908 --> 00:52:58,941
We have to keep the front seats
occupied, madam,
836
00:52:58,943 --> 00:53:01,377
as it helps to keep the tail
of the aircraft up.
837
00:53:01,379 --> 00:53:03,445
What happens if the plane is full?
838
00:53:03,447 --> 00:53:05,514
It never is, madam.
839
00:53:07,852 --> 00:53:09,885
What have I done wrong?
840
00:53:09,887 --> 00:53:12,354
Throughout the night,
you have been
brazenly attempting
841
00:53:12,356 --> 00:53:14,190
to spy on my statistics.
842
00:53:14,192 --> 00:53:16,125
I haven't either.
I'm just amazed
843
00:53:16,127 --> 00:53:18,961
that a girl like you would be
reading a book like that.
844
00:53:18,963 --> 00:53:22,298
I'm not reading it, sir.
I already know the statistics.
845
00:53:22,300 --> 00:53:24,667
I'm only trying
to perfect my English.
846
00:53:24,669 --> 00:53:27,403
Well, you speak it great.
847
00:53:27,405 --> 00:53:29,471
Perhaps better than you do, sir.
848
00:53:29,473 --> 00:53:35,277
The phrase is,
"You speak it very well,"
not "great."
849
00:53:35,279 --> 00:53:37,379
May I have your attention, please?
850
00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:41,317
Concordian Air International
hopes you've had
a pleasant trip.
851
00:53:41,319 --> 00:53:46,522
Uh, madam... madam,
hold on to your goat, please.
We're landing.
852
00:53:46,524 --> 00:53:48,924
Aah!
853
00:54:00,504 --> 00:54:03,639
Step right in here,
please, gentlemen.
854
00:54:03,641 --> 00:54:06,108
Make yourselves comfortable.
855
00:54:06,110 --> 00:54:07,910
Won't be long.
856
00:54:07,912 --> 00:54:10,212
You will be able
to identify your friends
857
00:54:10,214 --> 00:54:12,014
after Customs inspection.
858
00:54:18,990 --> 00:54:20,823
Good trip?
859
00:54:26,597 --> 00:54:29,365
All right, everyone in.
860
00:54:29,367 --> 00:54:31,033
My blessing.
Oh, no, no.
861
00:54:31,035 --> 00:54:32,501
No talking.
862
00:54:33,571 --> 00:54:35,137
Hi, Freddie.
Good morning, sir.
863
00:54:35,139 --> 00:54:36,739
No talking until after Customs.
864
00:54:36,741 --> 00:54:39,675
Stand here.
The rest of you
please make a line.
865
00:54:42,013 --> 00:54:43,946
Do you have anything to declare?
866
00:54:43,948 --> 00:54:46,148
I have only
my personal belongings
in this suitcase.
867
00:54:46,150 --> 00:54:48,217
Shall I open it?
One thing at a time.
868
00:54:48,219 --> 00:54:50,419
First of all,
there's a duty on suitcases.
869
00:54:50,421 --> 00:54:53,222
A hundred and fifty
percent of the value
when new.
870
00:54:53,224 --> 00:54:54,723
What?
871
00:54:54,725 --> 00:54:56,525
Why, that's preposterous!
872
00:54:56,527 --> 00:54:59,361
What did you pay for this coat?
There's a duty on clothes.
873
00:54:59,363 --> 00:55:01,597
Are you wearing underwear?
874
00:55:01,599 --> 00:55:03,532
Oh, sure.
Oh, yeah?
875
00:55:03,534 --> 00:55:05,034
Huh?
876
00:55:05,036 --> 00:55:06,502
Oh.
877
00:55:06,504 --> 00:55:07,603
Come on, buddy.
878
00:55:11,342 --> 00:55:12,841
Ah-ah-ah.
879
00:55:14,111 --> 00:55:15,611
Uh-huh.
880
00:55:17,181 --> 00:55:19,315
Passport.
881
00:55:19,317 --> 00:55:21,083
Thank you very much.
Welcome to Concordia.
882
00:55:21,085 --> 00:55:22,751
A pleasure. Mm-hmm. Bye.
883
00:55:33,998 --> 00:55:35,564
Oh.
884
00:55:40,404 --> 00:55:43,272
Take us to the airport caf�, Curtis.
885
00:55:43,274 --> 00:55:46,308
I didn't expect
to see you personally, sir.
It's so early.
886
00:55:46,310 --> 00:55:49,678
It's later than you think,
fella. After you.
887
00:55:53,818 --> 00:55:55,851
I've told you the facts
as they are, Fred.
888
00:55:55,853 --> 00:55:58,754
And I know it's tough.
Tough for both of us.
889
00:55:58,756 --> 00:56:00,756
That's why I thought it better
not to go straight home,
890
00:56:00,758 --> 00:56:03,592
but to have
this man-to-man chat first.
891
00:56:06,130 --> 00:56:08,530
Are you quite sure you've got
enough sugar in that coffee?
892
00:56:08,532 --> 00:56:10,265
Oh, I don't take sugar
in my coffee, sir.
893
00:56:10,267 --> 00:56:12,901
I guess this is just a nervous habit.
894
00:56:12,903 --> 00:56:14,837
Oh.
895
00:56:16,907 --> 00:56:18,540
Finished!
896
00:56:23,314 --> 00:56:26,782
I don't quite understand the
point you're trying to make, sir.
897
00:56:26,784 --> 00:56:30,886
Do you want me
to take Julie back to New York
or to marry her?
898
00:56:30,888 --> 00:56:34,256
In view of your engagement to the
girl, it seems quite possible,
899
00:56:34,258 --> 00:56:37,226
at least to my limited
intelligence, to do both.
900
00:56:39,697 --> 00:56:42,431
Now, I've arranged for this wedding
901
00:56:42,433 --> 00:56:44,933
to be a simple formality.
902
00:56:44,935 --> 00:56:48,570
It will be necessary
for your son to sign
these documents, here.
903
00:56:48,572 --> 00:56:50,072
Uh, here.
Yes.
904
00:56:50,074 --> 00:56:51,774
In triplicate.
Oh, in triplicate.
905
00:56:51,776 --> 00:56:53,375
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
906
00:56:53,377 --> 00:56:57,012
I will add my signature
when I return to my boat
the day after tomorrow.
907
00:56:57,014 --> 00:57:00,649
If this means Siberia,
I shall go out
and buy that hat today.
908
00:57:00,651 --> 00:57:02,151
Siberia?
909
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:05,587
I must have my moment of pleasure.
910
00:57:05,589 --> 00:57:08,824
Hat?
I shall become a monk.
911
00:57:08,826 --> 00:57:11,026
Monk?
A monk.
912
00:57:11,028 --> 00:57:14,663
I will place my tremendous
capacity for devotion to duty
913
00:57:14,665 --> 00:57:17,433
at the disposal of meditation.
914
00:57:17,435 --> 00:57:19,701
What's the matter with you all?
915
00:57:19,703 --> 00:57:24,072
Marfa Vassilievna,
life is unpredictable
916
00:57:24,074 --> 00:57:27,543
even in the land of Socialism.
917
00:57:27,545 --> 00:57:32,347
The human heart is a delicate
instrument, my Vassilievna.
918
00:57:32,349 --> 00:57:37,319
This entire embassy is pervaded
with a subversive atmosphere.
919
00:57:37,321 --> 00:57:39,354
I knew it at the airport.
920
00:57:39,356 --> 00:57:43,325
You allowed the American
ambassador to bribe the Custom
officer before you did.
921
00:57:43,327 --> 00:57:44,326
Oh!
922
00:57:44,328 --> 00:57:45,961
No, but, you know, I ju...
923
00:57:45,963 --> 00:57:50,032
The initiative has clearly
passed in the hands
of the hyenas of Wall Street
924
00:57:50,034 --> 00:57:52,034
and their Concordian lackeys.
925
00:57:52,036 --> 00:57:54,670
I deny that.
926
00:57:54,672 --> 00:57:58,340
I'm sure you don't even know
the vital statistics
of this country.
927
00:57:58,342 --> 00:58:00,342
Huh?
928
00:58:00,344 --> 00:58:03,846
What is the annual rainfall
of the capital?
929
00:58:03,848 --> 00:58:05,614
Uh...
930
00:58:05,616 --> 00:58:08,650
Well, I haven't the slightest idea.
931
00:58:08,652 --> 00:58:10,486
Three millimeters.
932
00:58:10,488 --> 00:58:13,489
Oh. Thank you very much.
933
00:58:13,491 --> 00:58:16,692
And how many kilometers
of narrow gauge railroad
are there?
934
00:58:16,694 --> 00:58:18,227
I don't know. We walk.
935
00:58:18,229 --> 00:58:19,962
One-point-six, and another two
936
00:58:19,964 --> 00:58:23,632
which have been
under construction since 1912.
937
00:58:25,803 --> 00:58:28,170
And how many
secondary schools are there?
938
00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:29,104
Uh...
939
00:58:31,041 --> 00:58:33,208
One.
940
00:58:33,210 --> 00:58:34,676
None.
941
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:38,013
Near enough.
942
00:58:38,015 --> 00:58:41,917
On the contrary!
One hundred percent error!
943
00:58:43,988 --> 00:58:45,988
With this standard of efficiency,
944
00:58:45,990 --> 00:58:49,791
I wouldn't be surprised
if you told me that your son
was engaged to someone else.
945
00:58:49,793 --> 00:58:52,094
To a Concordian, perhaps.
946
00:58:52,096 --> 00:58:54,162
Even an American.
947
00:58:59,770 --> 00:59:02,938
You don't deny it?
Why not?
948
00:59:04,008 --> 00:59:05,774
I can't.
949
00:59:06,877 --> 00:59:08,176
You're joking!
950
00:59:18,422 --> 00:59:20,756
Look, Julie,
you're in love with this guy.
951
00:59:20,758 --> 00:59:22,190
I respect that.
952
00:59:24,495 --> 00:59:28,297
Oh, Freddie, you're so dear, and...
and I've treated you so badly.
953
00:59:28,299 --> 00:59:30,766
No, no, no.
954
00:59:30,768 --> 00:59:34,202
Julie, off the record,
955
00:59:34,204 --> 00:59:36,138
what's it like, being in love?
956
00:59:36,140 --> 00:59:39,474
You know, really in love.
957
00:59:39,476 --> 00:59:41,476
Hell.
Is that so?
958
00:59:41,478 --> 00:59:42,978
Yeah.
959
00:59:42,980 --> 00:59:44,846
Gee, I'm sorry.
960
00:59:44,848 --> 00:59:48,784
You know, maybe I'm the lucky one.
961
00:59:50,020 --> 00:59:51,954
Maybe you are.
962
00:59:51,956 --> 00:59:54,356
And maybe I'm just being a fool.
963
00:59:54,358 --> 00:59:56,959
My life with you
would be so much simpler.
Mm-hmm.
964
00:59:56,961 --> 00:59:58,894
We'd have a lot of laughs.
I know.
965
00:59:58,896 --> 01:00:00,963
Do you recall the time that...
966
01:00:03,634 --> 01:00:06,635
It wouldn't work, kid.
You feel too strongly for me.
967
01:00:06,637 --> 01:00:08,136
You know what I mean.
968
01:00:08,138 --> 01:00:11,206
I can never get as upset
as you about anything,
969
01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:14,876
and that would only upset you more.
970
01:00:14,878 --> 01:00:17,446
Mm-hmm.
971
01:00:17,448 --> 01:00:21,450
I don't know what's
come over you, Freddie.
What?
972
01:00:21,452 --> 01:00:24,086
You started to think.
973
01:00:24,088 --> 01:00:27,689
Yeah, it was tough, but I made it.
974
01:00:32,730 --> 01:00:35,230
I'm sorry, dear.
975
01:00:35,232 --> 01:00:37,232
Oh, that's all right.
976
01:00:40,604 --> 01:00:42,804
Do you wanna kiss me?
977
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:51,480
I know when I'm licked.
978
01:00:51,482 --> 01:00:53,749
Tsk! Freddie!
979
01:00:54,985 --> 01:00:56,918
Well, Julie...
980
01:00:58,922 --> 01:01:03,625
I'll see you sometime, someplace.
981
01:01:03,627 --> 01:01:07,129
Travel's getting a lot easier
between Russia and America.
982
01:01:07,131 --> 01:01:09,631
Bring your husband over to the house.
983
01:01:09,633 --> 01:01:12,901
The kids can play
in the pool.
Don't, Freddie.
984
01:01:16,807 --> 01:01:18,740
God bless you, baby.
985
01:01:24,181 --> 01:01:26,114
Keep pitching.
986
01:01:31,522 --> 01:01:36,224
The last hours
of our 413th Independence
are draining away.
987
01:01:36,226 --> 01:01:38,226
It's like being
under sentence of death.
988
01:01:38,228 --> 01:01:40,162
I don't know why you're so depressed.
989
01:01:40,164 --> 01:01:41,697
Have you read
these ultimatums properly?
990
01:01:41,699 --> 01:01:44,766
The Russian one,
and the American?
The terrible menace in them?
991
01:01:44,768 --> 01:01:46,768
If we don't accept aid
by 4:00,
992
01:01:46,770 --> 01:01:49,604
it will be fed to us
like medicine to a child.
993
01:01:49,606 --> 01:01:52,741
Parachutes will drop
with motorcars and tractors.
994
01:01:52,743 --> 01:01:56,978
They'll shell us with cartons
of filter cigarettes
and bottles of soft drinks.
995
01:01:56,980 --> 01:01:59,481
It's ghastly!
996
01:01:59,483 --> 01:02:02,117
And all because you didn't vote.
997
01:02:02,119 --> 01:02:04,252
You may say you didn't
understand the motion,
998
01:02:04,254 --> 01:02:06,788
but that never stopped
a real statesman
from voting.
999
01:02:06,790 --> 01:02:08,990
Well, I do know why
you're depressed, really, yes.
1000
01:02:08,992 --> 01:02:13,895
See, I'm an optimist,
therefore I know exactly how sad
a place the world can be.
1001
01:02:13,897 --> 01:02:18,100
You're a pessimist, Otto,
therefore you're forever
finding out.
1002
01:02:18,102 --> 01:02:20,535
Well, we're going to resist aid.
1003
01:02:20,537 --> 01:02:23,238
But how?
What weapons have we?
1004
01:02:24,942 --> 01:02:26,208
Laughter.
1005
01:02:27,277 --> 01:02:29,911
Laughter?
Oh, you're crazy.
1006
01:02:38,489 --> 01:02:41,156
Yes. Our weapon is laughter.
1007
01:02:41,158 --> 01:02:43,959
Our cause... love.
1008
01:02:43,961 --> 01:02:46,661
You don't mean to say
you're going to get us
involved in war
1009
01:02:46,663 --> 01:02:49,097
just because two people
have fallen in love?
1010
01:02:49,099 --> 01:02:53,435
Have you ever heard of a war
that started for a reason
half as dignified as that?
1011
01:02:53,437 --> 01:02:55,437
But we can't even bluff the enemy.
1012
01:02:55,439 --> 01:02:57,105
The latest messages are all in code.
1013
01:02:57,107 --> 01:02:58,974
Well, we can pretend
we know their code.
1014
01:02:58,976 --> 01:03:02,778
We can even pretend
that they don't know ours.
1015
01:03:02,780 --> 01:03:05,847
But we haven't got a code!
1016
01:03:07,151 --> 01:03:09,651
That was a breach of security, Otto.
1017
01:03:09,653 --> 01:03:12,554
I beg your pardon.
Granted.
1018
01:03:12,556 --> 01:03:16,491
The important thing
in diplomacy is to have
a door that will lock,
1019
01:03:16,493 --> 01:03:19,361
even if there's nothing behind it.
1020
01:03:19,363 --> 01:03:20,662
Now...
1021
01:03:25,269 --> 01:03:27,269
my plan is this.
1022
01:03:27,271 --> 01:03:29,738
Tonight, we celebrate
the royal wedding
1023
01:03:29,740 --> 01:03:32,741
of our boy king,
Theodore the Uncanny,
1024
01:03:32,743 --> 01:03:38,280
to the Infanta of Old Castillo
in 1300 and, um, five?
1025
01:03:38,282 --> 01:03:40,515
1311.
Well, whichever it was.
1026
01:03:40,517 --> 01:03:42,517
Which led to the Spanish Coalition
1027
01:03:42,519 --> 01:03:46,221
and the eventual expulsion
of the Lithuanians
from our country.
1028
01:03:46,223 --> 01:03:49,558
The Albanians.
And the anniversary
isn't until Friday.
1029
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:53,228
Otto, the great
advantage of history
is that it is adaptable.
1030
01:03:53,230 --> 01:03:54,162
Now...
1031
01:03:55,499 --> 01:03:58,333
if we say that
the anniversary is tonight,
1032
01:03:58,335 --> 01:04:01,203
all the diplomatic corps
will be there in force.
1033
01:04:01,205 --> 01:04:04,306
That is the moment for us to strike.
1034
01:04:04,308 --> 01:04:06,441
How?
1035
01:04:06,443 --> 01:04:09,978
Never mind.
Um, take this down.
1036
01:04:12,115 --> 01:04:14,449
Decree a national air raid practice
1037
01:04:14,451 --> 01:04:16,885
for 4:30 this afternoon.
1038
01:04:16,887 --> 01:04:20,422
Perhaps 1630 sounds more military.
1039
01:04:20,424 --> 01:04:23,558
Close the switchboard.
Ah-ah.
1040
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:25,694
Isolate the powers,
1041
01:04:25,696 --> 01:04:29,564
and declare a state
of general mobilization.
1042
01:04:29,566 --> 01:04:32,234
Just a minute.
How do you spell that?
Um, M-O...
1043
01:04:32,236 --> 01:04:33,835
Mobilization.
1044
01:04:33,837 --> 01:04:38,406
M-O-B-O-L-O...
1045
01:04:38,408 --> 01:04:41,743
O... Uh...
1046
01:04:41,745 --> 01:04:47,182
Well, I don't know, Otto.
We use the word so rarely. I...
1047
01:04:47,184 --> 01:04:49,584
Well, never mind.
1048
01:04:49,586 --> 01:04:51,553
The others have got
their troubles too.
1049
01:04:53,590 --> 01:04:56,324
Miss, I asked for Concordia.
1050
01:04:56,326 --> 01:04:57,859
Concordia!
1051
01:04:59,763 --> 01:05:01,529
Hello! Hello!
1052
01:05:03,533 --> 01:05:05,233
Hello.
1053
01:05:05,235 --> 01:05:07,302
Telephone communications
with Concordia
1054
01:05:07,304 --> 01:05:10,605
are temporarily interrupted
owing to a technical hitch.
1055
01:05:10,607 --> 01:05:13,775
Telephone communications
with Concordia
1056
01:05:13,777 --> 01:05:16,278
are temporarily interrupted
owing to a technical hitch.
1057
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:17,879
Telephone communications
with Concordia
1058
01:05:17,881 --> 01:05:19,881
are temporarily interrupted
owing to a technical hitch.
1059
01:05:21,785 --> 01:05:24,185
You're dressed very warmly
for this weather,
Your Excellency.
1060
01:05:24,187 --> 01:05:26,454
Yes.
Cane, portfolio, gloves.
1061
01:05:26,456 --> 01:05:29,090
Three articles to leave behind
if necessary.
1062
01:05:29,092 --> 01:05:32,460
In the world of diplomacy,
it's often very important
to have a pretext to return
1063
01:05:32,462 --> 01:05:34,462
after you've said good-bye.
1064
01:05:49,980 --> 01:05:52,681
That's called making up
for lost time.
1065
01:05:52,683 --> 01:05:56,952
Our national tragedy
is that we've been occupied
by every people but the Swiss.
1066
01:05:56,954 --> 01:06:01,289
Oh, don't forget to telephone me
at the American Embassy
in exactly three minutes.
1067
01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:02,924
Good luck.
1068
01:07:03,453 --> 01:07:05,620
Oh.
1069
01:07:05,622 --> 01:07:07,455
Not too early, I trust?
1070
01:07:07,457 --> 01:07:09,691
I make you just on two hours late.
1071
01:07:09,693 --> 01:07:12,327
Then, I don't know the time
around here any more
than anyone else does.
1072
01:07:12,329 --> 01:07:13,995
Yes.
1073
01:07:13,997 --> 01:07:16,297
Mr. President,
I wish this meeting
could've taken place
1074
01:07:16,299 --> 01:07:18,800
under happier circumstances.
1075
01:07:18,802 --> 01:07:21,469
Bourbon on the rocks?
I never touch it, I'm afraid.
1076
01:07:21,471 --> 01:07:23,738
Oh, come on.
1077
01:07:24,808 --> 01:07:27,042
Well, since you insist.
1078
01:07:29,279 --> 01:07:32,247
Now...
1079
01:07:32,249 --> 01:07:34,682
let's come straight to the point.
1080
01:07:34,684 --> 01:07:37,685
When I wanna know something,
I just ask.
1081
01:07:37,687 --> 01:07:40,188
That's the way I operate.
I appreciate that.
1082
01:07:40,190 --> 01:07:43,358
In my position,
I have to appreciate
almost everything.
1083
01:07:45,228 --> 01:07:49,230
Why didn't you answer my ultimatum?
1084
01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:51,433
How's your charming daughter?
1085
01:07:51,435 --> 01:07:54,202
- What's that?
- Daughter.
1086
01:07:54,204 --> 01:07:57,872
Oh. She's fine.
Just fine, thanks.
She's fine.
1087
01:07:57,874 --> 01:08:02,811
Now, does this mean
you're getting aid
from elsewhere,
1088
01:08:02,813 --> 01:08:06,381
if you follow me, and if so, who?
1089
01:08:06,383 --> 01:08:08,650
And if so, why?
1090
01:08:08,652 --> 01:08:11,786
Yes! Very witty.
1091
01:08:11,788 --> 01:08:14,823
She looked quite exquisite
the other evening,
I thought, huh?
1092
01:08:14,825 --> 01:08:16,691
Who?
Your daughter looked so...
1093
01:08:16,693 --> 01:08:18,726
Oh, didn't she, though?
1094
01:08:18,728 --> 01:08:20,728
Now, look,
1095
01:08:20,730 --> 01:08:26,334
my government takes
the gravest possible view
of your decision.
1096
01:08:26,336 --> 01:08:30,672
Who was that very nice
young gentleman I saw her with?
1097
01:08:30,674 --> 01:08:33,208
You saw her?
Leave him out of this!
1098
01:08:33,210 --> 01:08:34,309
Fianc�, perhaps?
1099
01:08:34,311 --> 01:08:37,045
Will we soon hear the bells...
No!
1100
01:08:39,816 --> 01:08:42,083
I thought that thing
was out of order.
1101
01:08:43,587 --> 01:08:45,520
They must've mended it.
1102
01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:50,024
Hello?
1103
01:08:51,094 --> 01:08:54,129
It's for you.
Oh?
1104
01:08:55,298 --> 01:08:57,232
Thank you.
1105
01:08:57,234 --> 01:09:00,435
Hello? Oh, Otto. Yes.
1106
01:09:00,437 --> 01:09:03,338
Uh, no. Once and for all,
I don't want to commit
1107
01:09:03,340 --> 01:09:06,608
the Tenth Parachute Division
until the initial attack
has spent itself.
1108
01:09:06,610 --> 01:09:08,576
Is that clear?
No, no.
1109
01:09:08,578 --> 01:09:10,879
What I had in mind was, uh,
1110
01:09:10,881 --> 01:09:14,983
M-I-S-S-I-L-E-S.
1111
01:09:17,354 --> 01:09:21,422
I can't speak too freely now.
1112
01:09:21,424 --> 01:09:23,358
Oh, another thing, Otto.
1113
01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:27,328
If I find any man
smoking near the rocket fuel,
1114
01:09:27,330 --> 01:09:30,231
he's in for a severe talking to.
1115
01:09:30,233 --> 01:09:32,567
Ah.
1116
01:09:32,569 --> 01:09:34,536
Told him. Huh.
1117
01:09:34,538 --> 01:09:39,474
Let me freshen up
your bourbon on the rocks,
Mr. President.
1118
01:09:41,278 --> 01:09:44,679
Now, sir, let me ask you this.
1119
01:09:44,681 --> 01:09:46,648
Who are you trying to fool?
1120
01:09:46,650 --> 01:09:50,084
You know you can't resist
the Russians all by yourself
if they should attack.
1121
01:09:50,086 --> 01:09:53,388
Don't underestimate us,
Mr. Ambassador.
1122
01:09:55,492 --> 01:09:58,426
There are ten red roses
in your garden.
1123
01:09:58,428 --> 01:10:00,228
They bloom, I believe, at dawn.
1124
01:10:01,531 --> 01:10:04,199
Oh, Mr. Ambassador.
1125
01:10:04,201 --> 01:10:07,835
Oh, dear, dear, dear.
1126
01:10:07,837 --> 01:10:09,771
Where did you get this information?
1127
01:10:09,773 --> 01:10:12,207
From our network in America.
1128
01:10:12,209 --> 01:10:16,711
"Network in America"?
Oh, well, grid,
if you prefer it.
1129
01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:20,915
What we have in mind
is a goodwill mission.
1130
01:10:20,917 --> 01:10:23,384
Mr. Ambassador, in 1914,
the Germans sent
1131
01:10:23,386 --> 01:10:26,387
a lot of paratroops
dressed as nuns
into Holland.
1132
01:10:26,389 --> 01:10:28,656
Would you call that a pilgrimage?
1133
01:10:28,658 --> 01:10:32,961
Well, what do you expect,
with eight Soviet divisions
massing in Transylvania
1134
01:10:32,963 --> 01:10:35,163
not a hundred miles from here?
1135
01:10:35,165 --> 01:10:37,966
You need protection.
1136
01:10:37,968 --> 01:10:40,335
I guess some people
just don't want to be free.
1137
01:10:40,337 --> 01:10:44,739
Well, surprisingly enough,
Your Excellency,
some people are free already.
1138
01:10:44,741 --> 01:10:49,544
We have recent news
that the Soviet divisions
are on their way to Siberia.
1139
01:10:49,546 --> 01:10:51,613
Don't be ridiculous, sir.
1140
01:10:51,615 --> 01:10:54,882
Why should they go to Siberia
by way of the Western frontier?
1141
01:10:54,884 --> 01:10:57,151
I don't know.
You're the expert
in the war of nerves, sir.
1142
01:10:57,153 --> 01:10:59,654
I'm only a learner.
But couldn't it be
1143
01:10:59,656 --> 01:11:02,624
the Russian plan to provoke
a goodwill mission from you
1144
01:11:02,626 --> 01:11:07,862
which would look
to the rest of the world like
a piece of naked aggression?
1145
01:11:07,864 --> 01:11:10,398
Yeah. Yeah.
1146
01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:12,567
That's just what
they might do.
Ah.
1147
01:11:12,569 --> 01:11:14,402
The twisters.
1148
01:11:14,404 --> 01:11:17,171
Think it over, quietly.
1149
01:11:17,173 --> 01:11:20,575
We'll talk about it further
at this evening's celebrations.
1150
01:11:20,577 --> 01:11:23,611
Celebration?
Not another Independence Day?
1151
01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:26,114
Yes.
Oh, no!
1152
01:11:26,116 --> 01:11:28,716
The Russians will accept, I'm sure.
1153
01:11:28,718 --> 01:11:32,053
Okay, okay.
We'll be there.
1154
01:11:32,055 --> 01:11:35,523
There's a national
air raid drill in half an hour.
1155
01:11:35,525 --> 01:11:38,159
Please, keep off the streets.
1156
01:11:42,966 --> 01:11:45,800
Oh, you left your, uh, mm...
1157
01:11:51,574 --> 01:11:53,641
Mr. President?
1158
01:12:16,599 --> 01:12:18,599
Not too early, I trust?
1159
01:12:18,601 --> 01:12:21,336
Only if I misunderstood
the appointment.
1160
01:12:21,338 --> 01:12:23,304
It was for tomorrow!
1161
01:12:23,306 --> 01:12:25,440
I do apologize.
1162
01:12:25,442 --> 01:12:27,508
Mm. Sit down.
1163
01:12:31,381 --> 01:12:33,047
Thank you.
1164
01:12:34,117 --> 01:12:36,117
Vodka?
No. I never drink.
1165
01:12:36,119 --> 01:12:40,321
Nonsense.
You have defied
our ultimatum.
1166
01:12:40,323 --> 01:12:41,989
I'm directed to draw your attention
1167
01:12:41,991 --> 01:12:44,959
to the unpleasant consequences
of such a provocation.
1168
01:12:44,961 --> 01:12:46,928
How's your charming son?
1169
01:12:46,930 --> 01:12:51,065
Uh, well, very well.
He's, uh, rarely been better.
1170
01:12:51,067 --> 01:12:52,734
I'm glad to hear it.
1171
01:12:52,736 --> 01:12:55,436
I toast energetic
and enlightened
Concordian people
1172
01:12:55,438 --> 01:12:59,273
and their imminent discovery
of the benefits of Socialism.
1173
01:12:59,275 --> 01:13:01,309
Thank you.
1174
01:13:03,146 --> 01:13:04,812
Ahh!
1175
01:13:04,814 --> 01:13:06,681
Little caviar?
No, thank you. I...
1176
01:13:06,683 --> 01:13:07,615
No?
1177
01:13:11,054 --> 01:13:12,453
Mm.
1178
01:13:14,524 --> 01:13:16,924
I drink to your son.
1179
01:13:16,926 --> 01:13:19,427
To his health, his happiness,
1180
01:13:19,429 --> 01:13:21,429
and to the eight Soviet divisions,
1181
01:13:21,431 --> 01:13:23,998
at the moment
massed on the frontier
of Transylvania,
1182
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:26,367
in the hope that they'll soon
be facing the other direction.
1183
01:13:26,369 --> 01:13:28,469
Mm.
1184
01:13:30,306 --> 01:13:32,507
Where did you get this...
1185
01:13:32,509 --> 01:13:35,176
this false information?
1186
01:13:35,178 --> 01:13:38,479
From our people in Russia.
People there?
1187
01:13:38,481 --> 01:13:40,615
Oh, come, come.
Let's not be naive,
Your Excellency.
1188
01:13:40,617 --> 01:13:43,017
Well, what do you expect,
with ten American
aircraft carriers
1189
01:13:43,019 --> 01:13:45,019
off the coast of Greece?
1190
01:13:45,021 --> 01:13:47,588
Oh, you've... you've cracked
their code, have you?
1191
01:13:47,590 --> 01:13:49,757
A long time ago.
1192
01:13:49,759 --> 01:13:51,392
Sit down.
Thank you.
1193
01:13:55,799 --> 01:13:59,333
In that case,
you'll know about,
uh, February the 30th?
1194
01:13:59,335 --> 01:14:02,870
February the 30th!
1195
01:14:02,872 --> 01:14:06,107
A group of 30 strategic rockets
with atomic warheads?
1196
01:14:07,410 --> 01:14:10,144
Yes. That tallies
exactly with my information.
1197
01:14:10,146 --> 01:14:12,146
Mm. Sit down.
Thank you.
1198
01:14:12,148 --> 01:14:14,081
Except that more recent news suggests
1199
01:14:14,083 --> 01:14:17,418
that this American
goodwill fleet has just
set sail for Gibraltar.
1200
01:14:17,420 --> 01:14:19,020
Hmm?
1201
01:14:19,022 --> 01:14:20,788
Why should they do that?
1202
01:14:20,790 --> 01:14:24,692
I don't know.
Perhaps some goodwill
is urgently required there.
1203
01:14:24,694 --> 01:14:26,994
Oh. Well, uh...
1204
01:14:28,698 --> 01:14:30,965
When did you receive this news?
1205
01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:32,967
Within half hour.
1206
01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:35,503
How did you receive it,
if I may ask, since your...
1207
01:14:35,505 --> 01:14:38,539
Uh...
Oh, no, no.
Your phones aren't working.
1208
01:14:40,210 --> 01:14:41,809
Pigeon.
Pigeon?
1209
01:14:43,346 --> 01:14:46,781
No one uses
pigeons anymore.
They're unreliable.
1210
01:14:46,783 --> 01:14:49,984
They may migrate when they're
very young, but they never
break down like telephones.
1211
01:14:49,986 --> 01:14:52,386
Soviet telephones don't break down!
1212
01:14:52,388 --> 01:14:55,389
Nor do Concordian pigeons!
Now...
1213
01:15:04,868 --> 01:15:07,335
Oh, I wish you to understand
1214
01:15:07,337 --> 01:15:10,004
that the possible arrival
of Soviet troops here
1215
01:15:10,006 --> 01:15:12,640
will be entirely peaceful.
1216
01:15:12,642 --> 01:15:17,612
The responsibility
for any unpleasantness
would be yours.
1217
01:15:17,614 --> 01:15:20,281
World opinion means nothing to you?
1218
01:15:22,151 --> 01:15:25,887
World opinion changes like the tides.
1219
01:15:25,889 --> 01:15:29,590
Any case,
we're responsible
for half of it.
1220
01:15:31,928 --> 01:15:34,629
There'll be a national air raid
practice in half an hour,
1221
01:15:34,631 --> 01:15:36,931
so kindly keep off the streets.
1222
01:15:36,933 --> 01:15:39,267
If you should
hear any explosions,
don't worry.
1223
01:15:39,269 --> 01:15:43,170
It's a purely routine exercise
of the Concordian
Atomic Commission.
1224
01:15:43,172 --> 01:15:45,573
Do you really pretend that you have
1225
01:15:45,575 --> 01:15:49,043
the technological efficiency
to produce a bomb?
1226
01:15:49,045 --> 01:15:53,681
No. But we have got
technological inefficiency
on such a scale
1227
01:15:53,683 --> 01:15:56,984
that it sometimes amounts
to the same thing.
1228
01:15:56,986 --> 01:16:00,621
Well, I hope to see you
at our little celebration
this evening.
1229
01:16:00,623 --> 01:16:02,189
Again?
Independence...
1230
01:16:02,191 --> 01:16:04,559
Independence...
Oh, my wife
isn't feeling well...
1231
01:16:04,561 --> 01:16:08,396
The Americans have accepted.
1232
01:16:08,398 --> 01:16:11,299
We'll be there.
Good-bye.
1233
01:16:13,069 --> 01:16:15,937
Hey, you left your cane!
1234
01:16:17,607 --> 01:16:19,974
The Soviet Premier,
in an exuberant mood
1235
01:16:19,976 --> 01:16:23,277
at a cocktail party,did imitationsof leading Western statesmen,
1236
01:16:23,279 --> 01:16:25,246
at times going down on all fours.
1237
01:16:29,619 --> 01:16:32,019
Oh, hello.
Hello...
1238
01:16:32,021 --> 01:16:34,555
Yes, I think I left my portfolio.
1239
01:16:34,557 --> 01:16:36,057
Oh, here it is.
1240
01:16:36,059 --> 01:16:38,893
It's very stupid of me.
It's all our military secrets.
1241
01:16:38,895 --> 01:16:40,595
And your gloves.
1242
01:16:41,764 --> 01:16:43,731
No, those are not my gloves.
1243
01:16:43,733 --> 01:16:46,167
No?
No. Hmm.
1244
01:16:46,169 --> 01:16:48,169
Oh.
1245
01:16:48,171 --> 01:16:50,605
Oh, bourbon on the rocks.
Oh, no, no...
1246
01:16:50,607 --> 01:16:52,273
- Oh, come, now.
- Come, come.
1247
01:16:52,275 --> 01:16:54,775
Come, now. Here.
1248
01:16:54,777 --> 01:16:57,178
There.
1249
01:16:57,180 --> 01:16:59,280
Thank you.
1250
01:17:03,753 --> 01:17:06,988
Incidentally...
Yes?
1251
01:17:06,990 --> 01:17:10,191
...they know your code.
1252
01:17:10,193 --> 01:17:13,694
We know they know our code.
1253
01:17:13,696 --> 01:17:16,163
Huh?
Sure.
1254
01:17:16,165 --> 01:17:20,001
We only give them the things
we want them to know.
1255
01:17:39,856 --> 01:17:41,822
Yes...
1256
01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:55,102
Good-bye.
Oh, good-bye.
1257
01:18:12,822 --> 01:18:15,389
Oh, I think I left my thing...
The, uh...
1258
01:18:15,391 --> 01:18:16,691
Mm, yeah.
Oh, there.
1259
01:18:16,693 --> 01:18:19,460
No, no, no. Mm.
Here it is.
1260
01:18:19,462 --> 01:18:21,395
Oh, thank you very much.
Vodka?
1261
01:18:21,397 --> 01:18:25,966
No, thank you. No.
Oh, ridiculous!
1262
01:18:25,968 --> 01:18:27,968
Incidentally...
Yes?
1263
01:18:28,971 --> 01:18:31,972
...they know
you know their code.
1264
01:18:31,974 --> 01:18:35,976
That does not surprise me
in the least.
1265
01:18:35,978 --> 01:18:39,714
We have known for some time
that they knew we knew
their code.
1266
01:18:39,716 --> 01:18:41,582
Huh?
Yeah.
1267
01:18:41,584 --> 01:18:45,086
We have acted accordingly
by pretending to be duped.
1268
01:18:48,558 --> 01:18:52,393
I never realized before
how simple my life was. I...
1269
01:18:52,395 --> 01:18:56,530
Uh, to the Concordian bomb.
1270
01:18:59,769 --> 01:19:01,869
Concordian bomb.
1271
01:19:03,306 --> 01:19:05,740
Aah!
1272
01:19:29,065 --> 01:19:31,766
The gloves were mine, after all.
1273
01:19:31,768 --> 01:19:33,701
Forgive me.
I thought they were.
1274
01:19:33,703 --> 01:19:35,836
I wear...
I wear gloves so rarely.
1275
01:19:35,838 --> 01:19:38,339
This life seems to be
getting you down.
Down.
1276
01:19:38,341 --> 01:19:42,176
Bourbon on the rocks?
1277
01:19:42,178 --> 01:19:44,178
Pour it now.
Wh-What's it called?
1278
01:19:44,180 --> 01:19:47,948
Here we are.
Bourbon on the rocks.
Bourbon on the rocks. Yes.
1279
01:19:55,691 --> 01:19:56,690
Ahh.
1280
01:19:56,692 --> 01:19:58,759
Incidentally...
Yes?
1281
01:19:58,761 --> 01:20:01,462
...you know they know
1282
01:20:01,464 --> 01:20:03,898
you know they know
1283
01:20:03,900 --> 01:20:07,501
you know... code.
1284
01:20:09,071 --> 01:20:10,604
What?
1285
01:20:12,375 --> 01:20:14,308
Are you sure?
Mm.
1286
01:20:14,310 --> 01:20:16,443
I'm positive, because
I've been talking, you know...
1287
01:20:16,445 --> 01:20:20,214
Thank you! Thank you.
I shan't forget this.
1288
01:20:20,216 --> 01:20:22,550
You mean you didn't know?
No!
1289
01:20:22,552 --> 01:20:24,285
Aah!
1290
01:20:30,293 --> 01:20:32,393
Forgive me?
1291
01:20:40,870 --> 01:20:44,605
Well, did it work?
Did it work?
1292
01:20:48,177 --> 01:20:51,111
You're drunk!
Well, do you wonder?
1293
01:20:51,113 --> 01:20:54,315
It was the price
of finding out that there are
eight Soviet divisions
1294
01:20:54,317 --> 01:20:56,283
massed in Transylvania,
1295
01:20:56,285 --> 01:20:59,053
and ten American aircraft carriers
1296
01:20:59,055 --> 01:21:02,323
with atomic rockets
off the coast of Greece.
1297
01:21:02,325 --> 01:21:05,459
I told you, sir.
I knew it!
1298
01:21:05,461 --> 01:21:08,429
What are we gonna do?
Don't look so depressed.
1299
01:21:08,431 --> 01:21:10,431
We're going to pray.
1300
01:21:10,433 --> 01:21:12,833
But first of all,
I'd like some black coffee.
1301
01:21:12,835 --> 01:21:15,202
Can you send the boy
out for it?
I don't know where he is.
1302
01:21:15,204 --> 01:21:18,873
I scolded him
and sent him off to play
with his home chemistry set.
1303
01:21:20,877 --> 01:21:23,577
He's made another mistake.
1304
01:21:34,023 --> 01:21:36,690
There! Otto!
1305
01:21:36,692 --> 01:21:40,928
That son of mine...
he takes after his mother.
1306
01:21:40,930 --> 01:21:44,098
He deserves a decoration.
He deserves to have
his backside decorated.
1307
01:21:44,100 --> 01:21:46,033
I knew there were miracles
in the air, Otto.
1308
01:21:46,035 --> 01:21:48,035
Don't you realize what this means?
1309
01:21:48,037 --> 01:21:52,373
Concordia has just exploded
her first atomic bomb.
1310
01:22:42,358 --> 01:22:46,794
If anybody attacks us,
they're in for a nasty surprise.
1311
01:22:58,908 --> 01:23:02,576
Wait for it!
1312
01:23:02,578 --> 01:23:04,244
Bah!
1313
01:23:09,352 --> 01:23:12,052
Man at the end needs a haircut.
1314
01:23:12,054 --> 01:23:14,355
Button missing here.
Hup!
1315
01:23:14,357 --> 01:23:15,889
Shave.
1316
01:23:15,891 --> 01:23:17,458
And how's your aunt?
1317
01:23:17,460 --> 01:23:19,860
Well? I'm glad to hear...
Oh, a hero.
1318
01:23:19,862 --> 01:23:21,829
Ah.
1319
01:23:21,831 --> 01:23:24,999
Hup!
1320
01:23:25,001 --> 01:23:26,867
Same man from the back.
1321
01:23:26,869 --> 01:23:29,436
Now, here... Ah.
1322
01:23:29,438 --> 01:23:32,506
I've seen this man already.
I recognize the medal.
1323
01:23:32,508 --> 01:23:34,708
They've turned round.
Oh, you mean we should go...
1324
01:23:34,710 --> 01:23:36,610
Oh, uh...
1325
01:23:38,147 --> 01:23:40,314
So you wish to serve your country?
1326
01:23:40,316 --> 01:23:42,349
Oh, yes, please...
Oh, I see.
1327
01:23:42,351 --> 01:23:44,985
Well, cavalry, I think.
That would be the safest.
1328
01:23:44,987 --> 01:23:48,389
On the left. On the left.
That's right.
1329
01:23:48,391 --> 01:23:50,657
Ah, there's a fine figure of a boy.
1330
01:23:55,831 --> 01:23:58,599
And for
the first time in history,
they're punctual.
1331
01:23:58,601 --> 01:24:01,035
Recruiting will be resumed
after a fire drill.
1332
01:24:30,633 --> 01:24:33,300
I don't want to be sentimental, Otto,
1333
01:24:33,302 --> 01:24:36,470
but it does
an old soldier's heart good
to see a sight like this.
1334
01:24:36,472 --> 01:24:38,906
Ahh.
1335
01:24:46,082 --> 01:24:47,948
Well done!
Good man.
1336
01:24:55,257 --> 01:24:57,925
Look out.
Here comes trouble.
1337
01:24:57,927 --> 01:25:00,461
I'm on your side.
Help me, and I will help you.
1338
01:25:00,463 --> 01:25:02,096
What do you want?
Asylum.
1339
01:25:02,098 --> 01:25:03,697
Asylum?
1340
01:25:03,699 --> 01:25:07,000
Oh, Political...
Oh I see, yes granted...
1341
01:25:07,002 --> 01:25:09,002
There is something else.
What?
1342
01:25:09,004 --> 01:25:11,672
Admission to the most austere,
the most rigid,
1343
01:25:11,674 --> 01:25:13,941
and terrible monastery
in your country.
1344
01:25:13,943 --> 01:25:15,909
Well we'll send you
to the Mauve Friars,
1345
01:25:15,911 --> 01:25:18,612
they neither stand nor sit,
they walk about on their knees.
1346
01:25:18,614 --> 01:25:20,214
Oh, a very good beginning.
1347
01:25:20,216 --> 01:25:21,949
My eternal gratitude.
Yes.
1348
01:25:21,951 --> 01:25:23,784
Come now.
Now my part of the bargain.
1349
01:25:23,786 --> 01:25:24,952
What?
1350
01:25:24,954 --> 01:25:26,653
Igor Vadimovitch is about
to kill himself,
1351
01:25:26,655 --> 01:25:28,288
we must move quickly.
What?
1352
01:25:28,290 --> 01:25:30,491
He says he cannot live
without his Juliet.
1353
01:25:30,493 --> 01:25:31,992
Otto, come on.
1354
01:25:40,669 --> 01:25:41,702
Which room is it?
1355
01:25:41,704 --> 01:25:42,703
Igor Vadimovitch.
1356
01:25:43,772 --> 01:25:45,305
Igor Vadimovitch.
1357
01:25:46,909 --> 01:25:49,543
Merciful heaven's Lieutenant,
what's that in your hand?
1358
01:25:49,545 --> 01:25:51,778
It's a revolver.
1359
01:25:51,780 --> 01:25:55,015
The classic solution to misery.
1360
01:25:55,017 --> 01:25:57,351
Are you aware they're
forbidden by law?
1361
01:25:59,421 --> 01:26:00,888
You are too late.
1362
01:26:00,890 --> 01:26:03,590
Lieutenant, you will see
Juliet again, within the hour!
1363
01:26:03,592 --> 01:26:05,259
Really?
1364
01:26:05,261 --> 01:26:09,329
All is prepared, jump to freedom.
1365
01:26:09,331 --> 01:26:12,466
You wish me to escape my duty.
1366
01:26:12,468 --> 01:26:15,636
I am an officer sir,
I am incapable of cowardice.
1367
01:26:15,638 --> 01:26:17,304
Believe it or not sir
I'm an officer myself,
1368
01:26:17,306 --> 01:26:19,106
I'm incapable of almost everything.
1369
01:26:19,108 --> 01:26:22,442
But at the moment I do happen
to know what I'm talking about.
1370
01:26:22,444 --> 01:26:25,312
A man and a woman begin alone,
1371
01:26:25,314 --> 01:26:28,048
like raindrops on the window.
1372
01:26:28,050 --> 01:26:30,350
Then they lose their
identity in each other,
1373
01:26:30,352 --> 01:26:32,519
of their own free will.
1374
01:26:32,521 --> 01:26:35,956
The greatest gift we have
to offer is ourselves.
1375
01:26:35,958 --> 01:26:37,958
To which Juliet replied,
1376
01:26:37,960 --> 01:26:41,929
"Oh my darling,
if ever I have a child,
1377
01:26:41,931 --> 01:26:43,797
I want it to be yours."
1378
01:26:46,335 --> 01:26:48,402
Where did you hear those words?
1379
01:26:48,404 --> 01:26:50,137
I listened in the shadows,
1380
01:26:50,139 --> 01:26:52,539
and took your words down
in shorthand.
1381
01:26:56,545 --> 01:26:58,011
Juliet...
1382
01:27:07,523 --> 01:27:09,690
What is that?
1383
01:27:09,692 --> 01:27:11,158
A casualty.
1384
01:27:11,160 --> 01:27:13,093
Oh.
1385
01:27:13,095 --> 01:27:16,296
You take your maneuvers
very seriously, eh?
1386
01:27:16,298 --> 01:27:18,098
Yes, don't you?
1387
01:27:26,909 --> 01:27:28,108
To the hospital, at the double!
1388
01:27:28,110 --> 01:27:29,977
Forward!
1389
01:27:33,682 --> 01:27:35,649
Stop! Stop!
1390
01:27:35,651 --> 01:27:37,951
I'm sorry.
1391
01:27:37,953 --> 01:27:39,086
It's our national laziness again.
1392
01:27:39,088 --> 01:27:40,988
The men are so delighted
their load is lighter,
1393
01:27:40,990 --> 01:27:43,357
they didn't stop
to ask themselves why.
1394
01:27:43,359 --> 01:27:45,559
Wait for me in my palace,
will you? I'll deal with Juliet.
1395
01:27:57,706 --> 01:27:59,773
How's Igor?
1396
01:27:59,775 --> 01:28:03,210
Sulking, his door is locked.
1397
01:28:03,212 --> 01:28:04,811
Oh?
Tried to talk to him,
1398
01:28:04,813 --> 01:28:07,481
he doesn't even answer me.
1399
01:28:07,483 --> 01:28:08,715
His own Mother.
1400
01:28:08,717 --> 01:28:11,818
Edvokia...
1401
01:28:11,820 --> 01:28:12,953
Turn 'round.
1402
01:28:12,955 --> 01:28:14,221
What?
1403
01:28:14,223 --> 01:28:15,756
Turn around.
1404
01:28:15,758 --> 01:28:17,424
Close your eyes.
1405
01:28:26,769 --> 01:28:29,102
Are you going to shoot me?
Shh!
1406
01:28:51,026 --> 01:28:52,693
No, no, no.
1407
01:28:58,133 --> 01:29:00,467
I've got to think of Mom and Dad.
1408
01:29:00,469 --> 01:29:03,337
The only way you can
make them happy is by
being happy yourself.
1409
01:29:03,339 --> 01:29:05,138
This much, I know.
1410
01:29:05,140 --> 01:29:09,376
I've even staked the future
of my nation on this conviction.
1411
01:29:09,378 --> 01:29:11,445
And if you let me down now, I shall,
1412
01:29:11,447 --> 01:29:14,781
have to pay the price
of my belief in your love,
1413
01:29:14,783 --> 01:29:17,317
at the head of my army.
1414
01:29:22,191 --> 01:29:23,724
Will you come with me?
1415
01:29:27,196 --> 01:29:29,129
No.
1416
01:29:29,131 --> 01:29:30,697
No.
1417
01:29:36,071 --> 01:29:37,738
Wish me luck in the war.
1418
01:29:38,974 --> 01:29:40,874
Your war.
1419
01:29:44,646 --> 01:29:46,947
Well, what do you want me to do?
1420
01:29:49,084 --> 01:29:51,284
Lock your door and follow me.
1421
01:30:21,850 --> 01:30:23,250
Hello.
1422
01:30:25,287 --> 01:30:27,387
Uh, your book?
1423
01:30:37,699 --> 01:30:40,133
Well, you didn't need it anyway.
1424
01:30:40,135 --> 01:30:42,235
You know all the statistics.
1425
01:30:43,839 --> 01:30:45,972
I wish I knew how to forget them.
1426
01:31:06,762 --> 01:31:08,361
Oh, Otto!
1427
01:31:08,363 --> 01:31:11,131
They both called their capitals
and asked for delay of 24 hours.
1428
01:31:11,133 --> 01:31:12,399
Excellent!
1429
01:31:12,401 --> 01:31:13,400
Is the army in place?
1430
01:31:13,402 --> 01:31:14,935
Everything is ready.
1431
01:32:19,368 --> 01:32:22,002
By all that's holy!
1432
01:32:22,004 --> 01:32:25,238
Do you see what I see?
Shh.
1433
01:32:25,240 --> 01:32:28,909
With him you can never tell if
he's not still engaged in his
old profession.
1434
01:32:35,284 --> 01:32:38,285
Would you look at the
workmanship on that train.
1435
01:32:38,287 --> 01:32:40,186
Oh, I just love history.
1436
01:32:40,188 --> 01:32:42,489
It's so, so old.
1437
01:33:04,913 --> 01:33:07,480
Who are they?
1438
01:33:07,482 --> 01:33:09,749
Those on the horses are landowners.
1439
01:33:09,751 --> 01:33:11,618
And those on their feet, people.
1440
01:33:11,620 --> 01:33:12,586
Ah.
1441
01:33:49,891 --> 01:33:52,459
The cap ma'am.
1442
01:34:06,642 --> 01:34:09,242
Beulah, do you wanna
look like a tourist?
1443
01:34:10,545 --> 01:34:13,713
Know ye...
1444
01:34:13,715 --> 01:34:19,252
that marriage, being as much
a vocation, as the church,
1445
01:34:19,254 --> 01:34:24,157
it is the solemn duty
of those in love,
1446
01:34:24,159 --> 01:34:26,960
to obey their hearts.
1447
01:34:28,530 --> 01:34:31,297
Therefore, ask I you,
1448
01:34:31,299 --> 01:34:34,167
Theo... Theodore,
1449
01:34:34,169 --> 01:34:36,970
by the will of the people,
1450
01:34:36,972 --> 01:34:40,006
most Divine Protector
of The Unwilling,
1451
01:34:40,008 --> 01:34:42,375
Mentor of The Undecided,
1452
01:34:42,377 --> 01:34:47,013
Emperor Absolute and Undisputed,
1453
01:34:47,015 --> 01:34:51,918
do you take this woman,
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
1454
01:34:51,920 --> 01:34:54,020
I do.
1455
01:34:54,022 --> 01:34:56,022
Igor!
1456
01:34:56,024 --> 01:34:57,424
Do you...
1457
01:34:57,426 --> 01:34:59,526
Stop the ceremony!
It's a trick!
1458
01:35:08,837 --> 01:35:10,270
Guards!
1459
01:35:18,580 --> 01:35:24,284
Do you take this man as your
lawfully wedded husband?
1460
01:35:24,286 --> 01:35:25,752
No!
1461
01:35:25,754 --> 01:35:27,253
I do.
1462
01:35:27,255 --> 01:35:30,724
I hereby pronounce you,
1463
01:35:30,726 --> 01:35:33,093
man and wife.
1464
01:35:33,095 --> 01:35:36,396
Now go out there, my son,
1465
01:35:36,398 --> 01:35:39,799
and beat the Albanians!
1466
01:35:39,801 --> 01:35:43,203
Place a ring on her finger.
1467
01:35:51,646 --> 01:35:55,048
I don't know that ring.
1468
01:35:57,152 --> 01:36:00,520
Master Igor.
1469
01:36:01,823 --> 01:36:05,625
Miss Juliet.
1470
01:36:05,627 --> 01:36:08,928
Let the bells be rung!
1471
01:36:08,930 --> 01:36:11,965
A miracle!
1472
01:36:11,967 --> 01:36:14,667
Oh well, that's quite usual here.
1473
01:36:15,804 --> 01:36:18,238
Will you call off your army sir?
1474
01:36:18,240 --> 01:36:19,639
No sir, I will not!
1475
01:36:19,641 --> 01:36:21,975
Igor!
Julie, baby!
1476
01:36:21,977 --> 01:36:23,143
Mama.
1477
01:36:23,145 --> 01:36:24,611
Mom.
1478
01:36:25,914 --> 01:36:29,215
Isn't it always left
to the women to make peace?
1479
01:36:29,217 --> 01:36:32,285
Oh, Mrs. Romanoff, may I?
1480
01:36:32,287 --> 01:36:34,387
Thank you.
1481
01:36:34,389 --> 01:36:39,559
Well gentlemen, are you
now ready to surrender
to the inevitable?
1482
01:36:39,561 --> 01:36:42,262
This marriage will never be
recognized in the Soviet Union.
1483
01:36:42,264 --> 01:36:44,931
It's not valid in the United
States of America.
1484
01:36:47,936 --> 01:36:50,537
I regret your decision
as much as you will.
1485
01:36:52,007 --> 01:36:55,542
Two-hundred and seventeenth
Mounted Infantry Division,
1486
01:36:55,544 --> 01:36:56,776
fire!
1487
01:36:56,778 --> 01:36:58,244
No, general! No!
1488
01:36:58,246 --> 01:37:00,213
Are you out of your mind?
1489
01:37:00,215 --> 01:37:03,049
Threatening the
United States Ambassador?
1490
01:37:03,051 --> 01:37:04,584
Please trust me.
1491
01:37:09,758 --> 01:37:11,157
Ready!
1492
01:37:11,159 --> 01:37:13,092
Come on, come on.
1493
01:37:13,094 --> 01:37:15,195
Why the fellow's taken leave
of his senses.
1494
01:37:15,197 --> 01:37:17,497
Keep calm.
Oh, Daisy.
1495
01:37:17,499 --> 01:37:19,132
Do something Randle.
1496
01:37:25,307 --> 01:37:26,639
Fire!
1497
01:37:31,847 --> 01:37:33,913
You mean you have no ammunition?
1498
01:37:36,284 --> 01:37:38,551
We never found the formula.
1499
01:37:38,553 --> 01:37:42,288
We never had the money,
nor the inclination, to buy any.
1500
01:37:42,290 --> 01:37:45,058
That is our only military secret.
1501
01:37:54,903 --> 01:37:57,937
That's very good.
That's very good.
1502
01:37:57,939 --> 01:38:02,108
Oh, Hooper, come on.
1503
01:38:28,069 --> 01:38:29,235
Juliet.
1504
01:38:32,007 --> 01:38:34,474
Mrs. Romanoff?
Yes?
1505
01:38:34,476 --> 01:38:35,775
You know your name.
1506
01:38:39,180 --> 01:38:40,947
It worked.
1507
01:38:44,152 --> 01:38:45,618
How can we ever thank you.
1508
01:38:45,620 --> 01:38:47,687
What do you mean?
My country thanks you.
1509
01:38:47,689 --> 01:38:49,222
I'm just off to New York,
1510
01:38:49,224 --> 01:38:51,925
to report our victory
to the United Nations.
1511
01:38:51,927 --> 01:38:55,128
Thanks to you,
Concordia has made
of love a weapon
1512
01:38:55,130 --> 01:38:57,430
against which there is no defense.
1513
01:38:57,432 --> 01:39:01,701
And incidentally, the gates
to my garden are open.
1514
01:39:07,509 --> 01:39:09,475
I'm sorry, but the car's broken down.
1515
01:39:09,477 --> 01:39:12,178
Again? Oh, no.
1516
01:39:12,180 --> 01:39:13,446
I'll try once more.
1517
01:40:01,396 --> 01:40:05,331
Oh, Mr. President,
so sorry you can't
be with us tomorrow night.
1518
01:40:05,333 --> 01:40:08,468
We're having a barbeque
in honor of the Romanoffs,
quite informal.
1519
01:40:08,470 --> 01:40:09,769
Black tie.
1520
01:40:09,771 --> 01:40:12,405
Alas, duty calls.
1521
01:40:12,407 --> 01:40:14,040
Excuse me.
1522
01:40:23,184 --> 01:40:25,318
Oh, Your Excellency,
1523
01:40:25,320 --> 01:40:30,123
and the day after tomorrow
we're having a little,
intimate sword dancing,
1524
01:40:30,125 --> 01:40:33,493
in honor of the Moulsworths.
1525
01:40:33,495 --> 01:40:36,362
Unfortunately,
I can't guarantee
I'll be back in time.
1526
01:40:36,364 --> 01:40:38,798
Anyway, our hearts will go with you.
1527
01:40:38,800 --> 01:40:39,832
Thank you.
1528
01:40:41,603 --> 01:40:42,602
Oh.
1529
01:41:28,583 --> 01:41:29,782
Papa!
1530
01:41:29,784 --> 01:41:30,950
Papa!
1531
01:41:38,393 --> 01:41:40,660
Hansel, to the airport.
1532
01:41:42,297 --> 01:41:45,331
Ah, for the first time
in my life tonight,
1533
01:41:45,333 --> 01:41:46,833
I feel like dancing.
110984
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