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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:33,531 - Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Dr. Alvin Weasely. 2 00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:36,572 Dr. Weasely is one of the most respected 3 00:01:36,906 --> 00:01:38,658 motivational researchers in the country. 4 00:01:40,618 --> 00:01:43,792 Harveys Beer has dropped 84%. 5 00:01:44,121 --> 00:01:47,045 So Dr. Weasely will tell us how the American public 6 00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:48,967 really feels about beer. 7 00:01:49,293 --> 00:01:50,564 Dr. Weasely. 8 00:01:51,795 --> 00:01:56,050 - Beer is for men who doubt their masculinity. 9 00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:57,926 That's why it's so popular 10 00:01:57,927 --> 00:02:00,180 at sporting events and poker games. 11 00:02:01,430 --> 00:02:04,058 On a superficial level, a glass of beer 12 00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:07,611 is a cool, soothing beverage. 13 00:02:07,937 --> 00:02:12,818 But in reality, a glass of beer is pee pee dickey. 14 00:02:15,861 --> 00:02:17,028 That's it. 15 00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:18,175 Beautiful. 16 00:02:19,281 --> 00:02:20,552 Beautiful. 17 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,846 Beautiful. 18 00:02:23,994 --> 00:02:25,265 Beautiful. 19 00:02:25,955 --> 00:02:27,477 Beautiful. 20 00:02:28,666 --> 00:02:30,760 Pee pee dickey? 21 00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:32,168 We paid for that? 22 00:02:32,169 --> 00:02:35,139 28,000 and we got off easy. 23 00:02:35,464 --> 00:02:38,343 - The man made some very perceptive statements. 24 00:02:38,676 --> 00:02:39,592 _ I got it! 25 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:42,221 Make it big with Harveys Beer. 26 00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:44,523 Big foam. 27 00:02:44,848 --> 00:02:46,495 You get a big bang out of it. 28 00:02:46,976 --> 00:02:48,944 Big, proud head. 29 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,772 It's big and it lasts long- 30 00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:53,107 - You know, you're about as subtle as an elephant in heat. 31 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,783 That's great! 32 00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:56,276 We'll show an elephant sipping Harveys Beer at the circus. 33 00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:57,652 It's obscene! 34 00:02:57,653 --> 00:02:59,655 Don't moralize, Elias. 35 00:02:59,989 --> 00:03:01,536 We're committed to Harveys Beer. 36 00:03:01,865 --> 00:03:03,408 I'm committed to myself. 37 00:03:03,409 --> 00:03:05,662 Harveys Beer is worst beer on the market. 38 00:03:05,995 --> 00:03:07,370 It's a loser. 39 00:03:07,371 --> 00:03:08,162 Get rid of it. 40 00:03:08,163 --> 00:03:09,540 There are no losers. 41 00:03:09,873 --> 00:03:11,124 Every product has potential. 42 00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:12,125 It's a stiff. 43 00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:13,673 No, no don't say that. 44 00:03:14,003 --> 00:03:15,003 There's no such thing. 45 00:03:15,004 --> 00:03:16,045 You're a stiff. 46 00:03:16,046 --> 00:03:17,923 - I'll not tolerate your self-indulgence. 47 00:03:18,257 --> 00:03:19,757 When your father comes in, 48 00:03:19,758 --> 00:03:21,259 I'm gonna tell him exactly what you've said. 49 00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:22,603 - Just because you were here when my old man 50 00:03:22,928 --> 00:03:24,262 started this agency, you know, 51 00:03:24,263 --> 00:03:25,765 that doesn't alter the facts. 52 00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:27,598 You've played so many sides of the fence, 53 00:03:27,599 --> 00:03:29,058 you dunno where the fence is anymore. 54 00:03:29,059 --> 00:03:30,606 I know my job! 55 00:03:30,936 --> 00:03:32,228 Oh, that's beautiful! 56 00:03:32,229 --> 00:03:33,688 - If it weren't for your father, 57 00:03:33,689 --> 00:03:35,148 you'd be on welfare. 58 00:03:35,149 --> 00:03:37,743 60,000 a year and all you can do is wreck the joint. 59 00:03:38,068 --> 00:03:39,360 He's right. 60 00:03:39,361 --> 00:03:40,988 He's not creative, but he knows the rules. 61 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,238 And you gotta know the rules 62 00:03:42,239 --> 00:03:43,656 before you can break the rules. 63 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,751 - Right. - There's no respect anymore. 64 00:03:46,076 --> 00:03:47,243 He's right, Nathan. 65 00:03:47,244 --> 00:03:49,246 You did your tango 30 years ago. 66 00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:50,726 Fascist! 67 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,834 Duck hunter loses his rifle, 68 00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:57,172 walks seven miles to a cathouse, knocks on the door. 69 00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,973 The door opens, the madam says, "Who sent you?“ 70 00:04:01,425 --> 00:04:06,101 He says, "In the 40's, it was Judy Canova and Victor Mature. 71 00:04:07,723 --> 00:04:11,193 "In the 50's, it was Christine Jorgensen and James Dean. 72 00:04:12,478 --> 00:04:14,856 "In the 60's, it was Smith & Wesson." 73 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,130 That's it. 74 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,927 He was a nice guy. 75 00:04:29,411 --> 00:04:30,958 Can you lend me five? 76 00:04:32,748 --> 00:04:34,842 - Our job is to manipulate the consumer 77 00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:37,795 by arousing his desires and then we satisfy 78 00:04:38,128 --> 00:04:40,506 those desires for a fixed price. 79 00:04:43,092 --> 00:04:44,217 Sounds familiar. 80 00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:45,676 It sounds familiar. 81 00:04:45,677 --> 00:04:48,055 It's called advertising. 82 00:04:52,768 --> 00:04:54,039 ~ Yes? 83 00:04:57,106 --> 00:04:58,628 Thank you. 84 00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:02,362 Elias Senior just went through the lobby. 85 00:05:02,694 --> 00:05:04,341 Well, let's go! 86 00:05:05,614 --> 00:05:07,215 Let's go, Bissinger. 87 00:05:08,283 --> 00:05:12,459 - Our war toy account is up 23% and a third. 88 00:05:12,788 --> 00:05:14,961 - Hey Bissinger, you better get hip to reality. 89 00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:16,874 By advertising toy guns, 90 00:05:16,875 --> 00:05:18,752 you're encouraging kids to enjoy violence. 91 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,963 - You're only Music Director around here, Swope. 92 00:05:21,296 --> 00:05:23,048 What do you know about the total spectrum? 93 00:05:23,382 --> 00:05:24,757 I know what I feel. 94 00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,102 What's that got to do with it? 95 00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:28,553 - I think we should drop the account. 96 00:05:28,554 --> 00:05:29,976 How dare you! 97 00:05:30,305 --> 00:05:31,932 - Drop the account and show the business community 98 00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:34,985 and the public that we're morally and socially responsible. 99 00:05:35,310 --> 00:05:36,602 Groovy, let's do it. 100 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:37,946 Thank you. 101 00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:39,899 Putney, I've been supervising 102 00:05:40,232 --> 00:05:42,985 the war toy account for 12 years. 103 00:05:44,194 --> 00:05:45,912 And let me tell you something. 104 00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:52,162 Deny a young boy the right to have a toy gun, 105 00:05:53,495 --> 00:05:55,998 and you'll suppress his destructive urges 106 00:05:56,331 --> 00:06:01,007 and he'll turn out to be a homosexual or worse. 107 00:06:02,379 --> 00:06:03,801 - I'd rather have my son be a fag than a killer. 108 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,849 Your son is a fag! 109 00:06:06,175 --> 00:06:08,303 - You took him on the picnic hike, I didn't. 110 00:06:11,096 --> 00:06:14,316 - Last year at Malibu only Jim was a fag. 111 00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:17,269 Two weeks ago, Steve and Ralph came over. 112 00:06:18,395 --> 00:06:20,693 Yesterday, Randy came over. 113 00:06:22,357 --> 00:06:23,753 There it is. 114 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,621 Defrocked priest is on the road, it's three in the morning, 115 00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:33,497 he's got a flat tire and it's raining. 116 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,453 So he goes up to this farmhouse and says- 117 00:06:35,454 --> 00:06:36,956 - We're grossing less than a million a day 118 00:06:37,289 --> 00:06:40,463 and you're talking about flat tires and farmhouses? 119 00:06:42,878 --> 00:06:44,221 Get out of my life. 120 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,014 Good morning, Mario. 121 00:06:57,392 --> 00:06:58,893 Good afternoon, Mario. 122 00:06:58,894 --> 00:07:02,148 - Every consumer has a small box in his head. 123 00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:05,030 Everyone has a s-s-s-s-soapbox, 124 00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:08,033 a b-breadbox, a-a-a cereal box, 125 00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:11,616 a sh-h-h-hampoo box. 126 00:07:11,949 --> 00:07:13,496 This box is the target 127 00:07:13,825 --> 00:07:17,455 of 46 billion dollars a year in advertising. 128 00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:22,801 Now, there's only so much room in each box 129 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:29,092 and if we overload these boxes with too much information, 130 00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,052 they won't remember anything. 131 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,810 But, if we use c- c-c-creative foreplay, 132 00:07:39,142 --> 00:07:41,736 Before we PENETRATE! 133 00:07:43,188 --> 00:07:47,864 We'll b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- 134 00:07:48,193 --> 00:07:48,985 Benefit? 135 00:07:48,986 --> 00:07:50,570 B- b-b-b-b- 136 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:51,487 Bypass? 137 00:07:51,488 --> 00:07:52,865 B- b-b-b-b-b- 138 00:07:53,198 --> 00:07:54,365 Looks like. 139 00:07:54,366 --> 00:07:55,449 B- b-b-b-b- 140 00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:56,617 Sounds like. 141 00:07:56,618 --> 00:07:57,535 B- b-b-b-b- 142 00:07:57,536 --> 00:07:58,703 How many syllables, Mario? 143 00:07:58,704 --> 00:08:00,037 B- b-b-b- 144 00:08:00,038 --> 00:08:01,247 How many syllables, Mario? 145 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,331 B- b-b-b- 146 00:08:02,332 --> 00:08:03,624 - How many syllables, Mario? 147 00:08:03,625 --> 00:08:04,959 B- b-b-b- 148 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:05,876 - How many syllables, Mario? 149 00:08:05,877 --> 00:08:06,669 B- b-b-b! 150 00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:08,217 Aaaarrgh! 151 00:08:14,678 --> 00:08:16,450 We'll never know. 152 00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,394 I'm going to the track. 153 00:08:23,395 --> 00:08:24,791 Have a ball, baby. 154 00:08:38,035 --> 00:08:40,037 - What do you think of those cuff links? 155 00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:42,338 - How many syllables, Mario? 156 00:08:42,664 --> 00:08:44,758 How many syllables, Mario? 157 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:47,085 How many syllables, Mario? 158 00:08:47,419 --> 00:08:49,217 How many syllables, Mario? 159 00:08:49,546 --> 00:08:52,140 How many syllables, Mario? 160 00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:54,013 How many syllables, Mario? 161 00:08:54,343 --> 00:08:56,971 How many syllables, Mario? 162 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,272 How many syllables, Mario? 163 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,557 - I'm the Senior Vice President, 164 00:09:01,558 --> 00:09:03,142 so I'm the new chairman of- 165 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,414 Bullshit. 166 00:09:11,735 --> 00:09:15,365 - The corporate bylaws make it very clear that the only way 167 00:09:15,697 --> 00:09:19,247 we can determine a new chairman is by democratic process. 168 00:09:24,915 --> 00:09:28,169 Paragraph 68 specifically states 169 00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,220 that nobody can vote for himself. 170 00:09:31,546 --> 00:09:34,516 That's what it says, so that's where it's at. 171 00:09:39,513 --> 00:09:43,734 - Vote for me and I'll get you into the Knights of Columbus. 172 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,354 - Vote for me and I'll give you 10% of the business. 173 00:09:49,398 --> 00:09:51,071 25-. 174 00:09:52,651 --> 00:09:57,532 - Vote for me and I'll set you up in Puerto Rico, for life. 175 00:09:58,782 --> 00:10:00,329 - I got Puerto Ricans in my building. 176 00:10:01,910 --> 00:10:04,163 - Enough caucus, let's get the votes in. 177 00:10:04,496 --> 00:10:06,464 - How can we talk about who's gonna be Chairman of the Board 178 00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:08,667 when my father's laying dead on the table? 179 00:10:10,502 --> 00:10:12,049 Why can't I be Chairman of the Board? 180 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:13,879 - Because you're a nitwit. 181 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,223 My father started this agency. 182 00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,643 - And you're not going to finish it. 183 00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:22,997 Thank you, Valerie. 184 00:10:39,197 --> 00:10:40,969 One for Elias. 185 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:46,972 Swope. 186 00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:51,938 One for Bissinger. 187 00:10:58,383 --> 00:10:59,575 Swope. 188 00:11:05,682 --> 00:11:07,150 Swope. 189 00:11:13,356 --> 00:11:14,627 Swope. 190 00:11:19,738 --> 00:11:21,009 Swope. 191 00:11:28,079 --> 00:11:29,350 Swope. 192 00:11:34,669 --> 00:11:35,940 Swope. 193 00:11:43,845 --> 00:11:45,071 Swope. 194 00:11:56,191 --> 00:11:57,417 Swope. 195 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,379 That's it. 196 00:12:02,364 --> 00:12:06,210 One vote for Elias, one vote for Bissinger, 197 00:12:06,535 --> 00:12:08,708 nine votes for Swope. 198 00:12:09,037 --> 00:12:10,621 Swope! 199 00:12:10,622 --> 00:12:12,670 You don't have to accept. 200 00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,922 It's a terrible job! 201 00:12:15,252 --> 00:12:17,129 Don't take it, Swope! 202 00:12:17,462 --> 00:12:18,879 Take it easy, Nathan. 203 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,427 I've seen your cardiogram. 204 00:12:20,757 --> 00:12:21,903 It's a mirage! 205 00:12:22,634 --> 00:12:23,759 - The man's been elected 206 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,261 and you voted for him. 207 00:12:25,262 --> 00:12:27,560 We all voted for him. 208 00:12:27,889 --> 00:12:31,063 Because we thought no one else would vote for him. 209 00:12:32,435 --> 00:12:36,315 Putney Swope is the new Chairman of this Board. 210 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,865 And I will defend that mistake with my life. 211 00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:47,243 Congratulations, Putney. 212 00:12:50,495 --> 00:12:53,840 - It's going to be a pleasure working with you, Swope. 213 00:12:57,752 --> 00:13:02,508 - You're gonna make a great chairman if you stay in line. 214 00:13:05,844 --> 00:13:07,721 - My father would've wanted it this way. 215 00:13:09,472 --> 00:13:11,099 He dug you very much. 216 00:13:11,433 --> 00:13:13,811 Your father was a horse's ass. 217 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,986 - Yeah, but he dug you very much. 218 00:13:36,124 --> 00:13:38,547 - The changes I'm going to make will be minimal. 219 00:13:38,877 --> 00:13:40,379 I'm not gonna rock the boat. 220 00:13:40,712 --> 00:13:42,931 Rocking the boat's a drag. 221 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,429 What you do is sink the boat! 222 00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:48,262 And there's no sense sinking nothing, unless you can salvage 223 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,518 with productive alternatives and brothers, 224 00:13:50,847 --> 00:13:53,566 you can't change nothing with rhetoric and slogans 225 00:13:53,892 --> 00:13:56,771 because if a man's really got the truth in his pocket, 226 00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,729 he doesn't talk about it, 227 00:13:58,730 --> 00:14:01,108 he hangs it out on a shingle where people can see it. 228 00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:06,910 So from now on the name of this agency is Truth and Soul. 229 00:14:07,697 --> 00:14:09,449 TS baby, that's right. 230 00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:12,180 Don't smoke it! 231 00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:19,792 Nathan, you were a good businessman 232 00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:22,922 and you're not a cop-out, so I'm going to let you stay. 233 00:14:23,254 --> 00:14:25,882 - I wanna contract that guarantees me an expense account, 234 00:14:26,216 --> 00:14:30,141 stock options, 22 weeks vacation, a company car, 235 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,565 a box at Jay Stadium, a percentage of the gross, 236 00:14:33,890 --> 00:14:36,643 total creative freedom, transplant insurance 237 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,445 and a no-cut clause. 238 00:14:40,772 --> 00:14:43,491 Nathan, you're corrupt. 239 00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:44,963 Thank you. 240 00:14:45,735 --> 00:14:47,954 - I've come all the way from Miles City 241 00:14:48,279 --> 00:14:49,952 to ask you to be my woman. 242 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:55,162 - It must be my new depilatory, Superlip. 243 00:14:56,579 --> 00:14:59,458 Superlip eliminates peach fuzz and feminine whiskers. 244 00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:02,590 Superlip digs deep down into the hair follicle, 245 00:15:02,919 --> 00:15:05,593 instead of just lopping it off at the surface. 246 00:15:05,922 --> 00:15:08,513 Cut! 247 00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:10,238 Cut. 248 00:15:12,637 --> 00:15:14,159 I don't believe it. 249 00:15:14,639 --> 00:15:16,161 Again. 250 00:15:20,603 --> 00:15:21,895 There's a bunch of lilies 251 00:15:21,896 --> 00:15:23,489 shooting a commercial in our studio. 252 00:15:23,815 --> 00:15:25,408 They must not know about the recent transition. 253 00:15:25,734 --> 00:15:27,657 - Well, let's go take care of business. 254 00:15:31,239 --> 00:15:32,786 This chick's from nowhere. 255 00:15:33,116 --> 00:15:34,709 So it's up to you. 256 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,458 Improvise, do something. 257 00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:41,504 I've seen you work at Jones Beach with Guy Lombardo. 258 00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:43,210 I know you can pull it off. 259 00:15:44,502 --> 00:15:46,095 Superlip, shot one. 260 00:15:46,421 --> 00:15:48,193 Take 107. 261 00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:50,174 Action. 262 00:15:50,175 --> 00:15:52,553 Action! 263 00:15:53,928 --> 00:15:57,398 - Lady Beaver, I've come all the way from Biloxi 264 00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,068 to ask you to be my woman. 265 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:03,943 Wayne, you do go on. 266 00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:11,454 ♪ I have a malignancy in my prostrate 267 00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:16,502 ♪ But when you're in my arms it's benign 268 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,621 I don't feel it. 269 00:16:21,664 --> 00:16:22,956 What did you say? 270 00:16:22,957 --> 00:16:24,925 I am not going to say it. 271 00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:26,594 It is stupid. 272 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,295 Cut. 273 00:16:28,296 --> 00:16:31,470 Listen sweetie, I could be home writing my novel. 274 00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:35,725 You could be playing Lady Macbeth in some basement. 275 00:16:36,721 --> 00:16:38,413 We're both here, aren't we? 276 00:16:39,349 --> 00:16:40,692 That's okay. 277 00:16:41,017 --> 00:16:41,934 Let's do it. 278 00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:43,161 Let's do it! 279 00:17:07,836 --> 00:17:10,715 ♪ I have a malignancy in my prostrate 280 00:17:11,047 --> 00:17:12,381 ♪ But when you're in my arms it's 281 00:17:12,382 --> 00:17:14,154 Quittin' time! 282 00:17:15,885 --> 00:17:17,261 Get on out! 283 00:17:17,262 --> 00:17:20,106 Yeah, no more taking pictures of no jive cans 284 00:17:20,431 --> 00:17:22,775 and jive bottles, and skinny-legged broads 285 00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:23,976 with stockings on 'em. 286 00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,602 Get on out of here! 287 00:17:25,603 --> 00:17:27,822 We're gonna have some greasy fingers and some chicken, 288 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:31,197 and all the beautiful things that people have who have it 289 00:17:31,526 --> 00:17:32,943 and you ain't got it. 290 00:17:32,944 --> 00:17:34,662 So get on out you understand? 291 00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:36,581 We're not gonna take any more of your jive. 292 00:17:36,906 --> 00:17:40,206 'Cause we're Truth and Soul, you understand? 293 00:17:40,535 --> 00:17:42,754 Truth and Soul, 'cause we got it 294 00:17:43,079 --> 00:17:45,332 and we got a brother that's gonna make it right. 295 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,040 We got brother Putney. 296 00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:48,437 Okay- 297 00:17:49,377 --> 00:17:50,970 Every single account pulled out. 298 00:17:51,296 --> 00:17:52,629 I wish I'd have pulled out. 299 00:17:52,630 --> 00:17:53,964 Too many dependents, baby. 300 00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:55,507 It looks bad. 301 00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:58,057 - Swope, I think we're still in the ball game. 302 00:17:58,386 --> 00:17:59,808 Wing Soney just got off the elevator 303 00:18:00,138 --> 00:18:00,971 and he's dying to meet you. 304 00:18:00,972 --> 00:18:02,347 Wing Soney? 305 00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,140 Wing Soney. 306 00:18:03,141 --> 00:18:04,287 Wowee. 307 00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:26,669 Hey man, what's his thing? 308 00:18:26,998 --> 00:18:28,341 Do-it-yourself Pearl Harbor? 309 00:18:28,666 --> 00:18:30,042 He's Chinese, Swope. 310 00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:30,959 I don't care what he is. 311 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,252 We're gonna get that account. 312 00:18:32,253 --> 00:18:33,649 Let's go. 313 00:18:36,966 --> 00:18:40,687 Wing Soney, say hello to Putney Swope. 314 00:18:41,012 --> 00:18:44,642 - Mr. Swope, I'm not a happy chappy. 315 00:18:44,974 --> 00:18:47,648 The agency that's currently handling my merchandise, 316 00:18:47,977 --> 00:18:50,071 is the biggest nosebleed in town. 317 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,490 Now, I have a new item 318 00:18:52,815 --> 00:18:55,284 and I dig to launch it with a new outfit. 319 00:18:55,610 --> 00:18:58,033 So let me tell you about the Get Out of Here Mousetrap. 320 00:18:59,656 --> 00:19:03,001 The Get Out of Here Mousetrap is a unique breakthrough, 321 00:19:03,326 --> 00:19:06,455 because after it traps a rodent, it chemically cremates. 322 00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:10,883 No flame, no noise, no mouse. 323 00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:12,711 I invented it myself. 324 00:19:13,044 --> 00:19:14,419 - Mr. Soney, you're not gonna believe this, but- 325 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:15,921 Then don't tell me. 326 00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,005 - For the past six minutes I've been working 327 00:19:17,006 --> 00:19:19,179 on a whole new approach to mousetraps. 328 00:19:20,343 --> 00:19:21,990 Lay it on them, Nathan. 329 00:19:26,516 --> 00:19:30,441 - Columbus is on the Santa Maria; the crew's Italian. 330 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,647 Columbus walks down the gangplank 331 00:19:32,981 --> 00:19:35,234 and waiting at the bottom is a middle-aged Indian. 332 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:38,695 Columbus knocks the Indian on his ass 333 00:19:39,028 --> 00:19:40,951 and sticks the Spanish flag in the ground. 334 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:44,410 And out of the bushes comes a 75-year-old squaw 335 00:19:44,742 --> 00:19:47,165 with a cleft head and an ax in her back. 336 00:19:47,495 --> 00:19:48,996 But the Indian starts to cry, 337 00:19:48,997 --> 00:19:51,591 because he knows he's going to be exploited. 338 00:19:51,916 --> 00:19:54,590 Columbus puts his arm around the Indian, points to the crew 339 00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:56,592 and says, "In exchange for your land, 340 00:19:56,921 --> 00:19:58,505 "I'll give you 50 guineas." 341 00:19:58,506 --> 00:20:00,804 Cut to a shot of a Get Out of Here Mousetrap, 342 00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:04,559 tell him how much it costs, where you buy it, and that's it. 343 00:20:04,887 --> 00:20:06,935 - It's a most fantastic thing I ever heard. 344 00:20:08,057 --> 00:20:09,533 Who's your shrink? 345 00:20:11,853 --> 00:20:13,124 I dig n. 346 00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:16,398 I dig n. 347 00:20:16,399 --> 00:20:18,618 My mousetrap is yours. 348 00:20:18,943 --> 00:20:21,446 You've revitalized me, Swope. 349 00:20:21,779 --> 00:20:22,880 Let's split. 350 00:20:26,075 --> 00:20:27,801 I'm a happy chink. 351 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,122 We did it, Swope. 352 00:20:32,123 --> 00:20:33,269 We did it! 353 00:20:34,042 --> 00:20:35,208 You're fired. 354 00:20:35,209 --> 00:20:36,552 Why? 355 00:20:36,878 --> 00:20:39,381 - That Columbus thing is the worst thing I ever heard. 356 00:20:39,714 --> 00:20:41,091 I thought it was brilliant. 357 00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:44,476 - That's why you takin' the next elevator. 358 00:20:50,933 --> 00:20:52,434 Hey, you a messenger for TS? 359 00:20:52,435 --> 00:20:53,727 Yes, sir. 360 00:20:53,728 --> 00:20:55,228 - From now on, use the freight elevator. 361 00:20:55,229 --> 00:20:56,330 Yes, sir. 362 00:21:02,612 --> 00:21:04,785 - I just heard about the Get Out of Here campaign. 363 00:21:05,114 --> 00:21:07,162 It's a trailblazer, Swope. 364 00:21:07,492 --> 00:21:10,166 - Your mouse trap conception is a masterpiece. 365 00:21:10,495 --> 00:21:12,964 Why, it's already a classic. 366 00:21:13,289 --> 00:21:16,589 - As far as I'm concerned, you're my man. 367 00:21:16,918 --> 00:21:18,636 - I would like to discuss the possibility 368 00:21:18,961 --> 00:21:20,295 of you handling my account. 369 00:21:20,296 --> 00:21:21,522 Would you? 370 00:21:22,298 --> 00:21:23,800 - I'm with the Audie Murphy Toy Company. 371 00:21:24,133 --> 00:21:25,851 We just came out with a Junior Miss Flamethrower, 372 00:21:26,177 --> 00:21:27,850 that runs on ordinary lighter fluid, 373 00:21:28,179 --> 00:21:30,307 and next week, we're coming out with a heavy-duty model, 374 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,224 for the back-to-college group 375 00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:35,024 that features an after-burner and five-second reloading, 376 00:21:35,353 --> 00:21:37,731 with disposable propane cassettes. 377 00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:40,317 - I wanna have nothing to do with war toys or cigarettes, 378 00:21:40,650 --> 00:21:42,493 and do something about your breath. 379 00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:45,737 Tell me what you like. 380 00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:47,114 I'll go out and make it. 381 00:21:47,115 --> 00:21:48,698 I'll produce it, you push it. 382 00:21:48,699 --> 00:21:50,075 You and me, Swope. 383 00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:51,453 - If you stiffs want TS to do your advertising, 384 00:21:51,786 --> 00:21:54,881 it's gonna cost you a million bucks up front, cash. 385 00:21:55,206 --> 00:21:56,924 That's hallway robbery, Swope. 386 00:21:57,250 --> 00:21:58,593 That's an outrage! 387 00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:00,460 The price is right, 388 00:22:00,461 --> 00:22:02,634 but I can't come up with a million bucks in cash. 389 00:22:02,964 --> 00:22:04,440 Me neither. 390 00:22:06,843 --> 00:22:08,365 Forget it, baby. 391 00:22:12,056 --> 00:22:13,774 - If your sales don't increase by 50% 392 00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:15,725 you'll get a complete refund. 393 00:22:15,726 --> 00:22:16,518 I'm in Swope. 394 00:22:16,519 --> 00:22:17,310 Me too. 395 00:22:17,311 --> 00:22:18,854 You and me Swope. 396 00:22:18,855 --> 00:22:20,903 - Don't forget me, Pit Stop deodorant. 397 00:22:21,232 --> 00:22:23,701 Dinkleberry's chicken pot pies. 398 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,998 - Jim Keranga of Watts, California 399 00:22:33,327 --> 00:22:35,830 is eating a bowl of Ethereal Cereal, 400 00:22:36,164 --> 00:22:38,087 the heavenly breakfast food. 401 00:22:38,416 --> 00:22:41,010 Jim, did you know that Ethereal Cereal 402 00:22:41,335 --> 00:22:42,837 has twice as much vitamin B 403 00:22:43,171 --> 00:22:45,424 as any other leading cereal? 404 00:22:45,756 --> 00:22:48,475 Ethereal also has the added punch, 405 00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:52,305 of 0.02 ESP units of pectin. 406 00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:54,782 No shit! 407 00:23:08,237 --> 00:23:10,831 - Dinkleberry's chicken pot pies. 408 00:23:11,157 --> 00:23:13,580 - Ground rules: Give us the name of your product, 409 00:23:13,910 --> 00:23:15,878 what it's supposed to do, then take a walk. 410 00:23:16,204 --> 00:23:17,704 We don't need your ideas. 411 00:23:17,705 --> 00:23:19,289 We don't need your advice. 412 00:23:19,290 --> 00:23:21,042 And we don't need lames in the hallway. 413 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,071 Lucky Airlines. 414 00:24:27,525 --> 00:24:30,495 - Introducing Miss Redneck, New Jersey, 415 00:24:30,820 --> 00:24:32,367 Eugenie Ferliger. 416 00:24:50,298 --> 00:24:52,346 Eugenie is 23. 417 00:24:52,675 --> 00:24:57,146 She's five foot four and weighs 117 pounds. 418 00:24:57,471 --> 00:24:59,269 She has blue eyes and blonde hair 419 00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:01,567 with matching cuffs and collar. 420 00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:06,690 Eugenie is a graduate of the Sawbone T-bone Diner 421 00:25:07,023 --> 00:25:09,526 in Redneck, where she majored in philosophy. 422 00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:12,652 She's a social worker 423 00:25:12,653 --> 00:25:15,247 and her favorite hobby is emasculation. 424 00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:36,682 Eugenie, in 25 words or less, 425 00:25:37,011 --> 00:25:39,309 would you tell us what your philosophy is? 426 00:25:41,849 --> 00:25:46,571 Well, I believe that everyone, 427 00:25:46,896 --> 00:25:49,240 no matter their race, 428 00:25:49,565 --> 00:25:53,945 creed or color, should get a piece of the action. 429 00:25:55,071 --> 00:25:59,952 A piece of the what, Eugenie? 430 00:26:01,327 --> 00:26:02,749 A piece of the pie! 431 00:26:03,079 --> 00:26:04,726 Right! 432 00:26:08,250 --> 00:26:11,550 Confidentially folks, I never thought she'd get that line. 433 00:26:12,838 --> 00:26:14,511 Oh fuck off, Bert! 434 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,638 - Everybody wants a Dinkleberry Frozen Chicken 435 00:26:16,967 --> 00:26:19,015 Pot Pie and they'll do anything to get it. 436 00:26:20,388 --> 00:26:21,910 Who did that? 437 00:26:24,850 --> 00:26:26,121 You do that? 438 00:26:31,607 --> 00:26:32,833 Yeah. 439 00:26:35,653 --> 00:26:37,075 I didn't do it! 440 00:26:37,405 --> 00:26:39,052 - Then what are you doing, taking her temperature? 441 00:26:39,448 --> 00:26:40,824 Boss, don't fire me! 442 00:26:40,825 --> 00:26:43,169 I got a wife, three kids and a Shetland pony. 443 00:26:43,494 --> 00:26:44,536 You should've thought of that 444 00:26:44,537 --> 00:26:46,756 before you dipped your pen in company ink. 445 00:26:48,374 --> 00:26:50,217 - Oh man, gimmie a break, I'm in love. 446 00:26:50,543 --> 00:26:52,001 - All right, you get one more chance. 447 00:26:52,002 --> 00:26:53,649 But she's got to go. 448 00:26:54,171 --> 00:26:56,390 Whaddaya mean, I gotta go? 449 00:26:56,716 --> 00:26:58,007 That's right. 450 00:26:58,008 --> 00:26:59,551 Just 'cause you got a pair of jugs 451 00:26:59,552 --> 00:27:00,844 don't mean you rule the world. 452 00:27:00,845 --> 00:27:01,991 That's right! 453 00:27:04,306 --> 00:27:05,598 Mr. Swope? 454 00:27:05,599 --> 00:27:07,272 - Clean out your locker. 455 00:27:07,601 --> 00:27:08,747 ' UP Yours. 456 00:27:11,313 --> 00:27:15,284 - Um hum, didn't mean to put down your jugs baby, 457 00:27:15,609 --> 00:27:18,783 but gotta protect my interest. 458 00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:33,131 - Mark Focus is waiting in reception. 459 00:27:33,461 --> 00:27:34,857 Thank you. 460 00:27:41,761 --> 00:27:43,386 Great window cleaner. 461 00:27:43,387 --> 00:27:45,014 Don't drip and it don't streak. 462 00:27:46,515 --> 00:27:48,188 But it smells bad. 463 00:27:48,517 --> 00:27:50,235 Cleans good, but it smells bad. 464 00:27:54,774 --> 00:27:57,197 - As a window cleaner, forget it. 465 00:27:57,526 --> 00:27:59,073 Put soybeans in it for protein, 466 00:27:59,403 --> 00:28:02,122 and we'll push it as a soft drink in the ghetto. 467 00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:04,246 Lay a picture of a rhythm and blues singer on it 468 00:28:04,575 --> 00:28:06,202 and we'll call it Victrola Cola. 469 00:28:07,620 --> 00:28:09,463 I think we got a winner. 470 00:28:09,789 --> 00:28:11,289 We'd better. 471 00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:12,633 Or you and that jism are gonna be back 472 00:28:12,958 --> 00:28:14,585 in that drugstore where I found you. 473 00:28:21,717 --> 00:28:22,988 Yes sir. 474 00:28:26,055 --> 00:28:27,514 I'm okay. 475 00:28:27,515 --> 00:28:29,332 - If your lip was hip, you wouldn't need no Jim. 476 00:28:29,850 --> 00:28:31,227 The rose that is. 477 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:32,894 How you son? 478 00:28:32,895 --> 00:28:34,772 - I dunno baby, but I'm where I'm starting from. 479 00:28:35,105 --> 00:28:38,234 I'm stacked up and I'm gonna stay stacked up. 480 00:28:38,567 --> 00:28:40,160 But I wanna know about this Putney dude. 481 00:28:40,486 --> 00:28:42,363 And the faggot at the taffy Department. 482 00:28:42,696 --> 00:28:43,905 Plus a blonde faggot 483 00:28:43,906 --> 00:28:45,532 in the taffy Department. 484 00:28:45,533 --> 00:28:46,950 Next time he bends over and pick up the paperclips 485 00:28:46,951 --> 00:28:48,493 then I'm gonna sock it to him right in his keister. 486 00:28:48,494 --> 00:28:49,577 Does he like dudes? 487 00:28:49,578 --> 00:28:52,081 - I dunno man, but he's got a bossed around ass 488 00:28:52,414 --> 00:28:54,587 in them tight bell-bottom pants, I know that. 489 00:28:54,917 --> 00:28:56,084 - Well, if you're tripping 490 00:28:56,085 --> 00:28:57,585 and you're going that way. 491 00:28:57,586 --> 00:28:58,920 My johnson get hard, Jim. 492 00:28:58,921 --> 00:29:00,389 It knows no discrimination. 493 00:29:00,714 --> 00:29:02,340 - Yeah, discrimination, huh? 494 00:29:02,341 --> 00:29:05,220 - No, my johnson get hard, everything goes. 495 00:29:05,553 --> 00:29:07,055 - Jism is okay, but you can can the trollops. 496 00:29:07,388 --> 00:29:08,304 Mr. Swope! 497 00:29:08,305 --> 00:29:09,747 Mark Focus. 498 00:29:14,103 --> 00:29:15,875 I did that for Hertz. 499 00:29:16,981 --> 00:29:18,298 That's Colgate. 500 00:29:18,983 --> 00:29:20,254 That's Nabisco. 501 00:29:21,110 --> 00:29:22,318 That's IBM. 502 00:29:22,319 --> 00:29:23,862 I seen enough, Mark. 503 00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:26,332 You're one of the best photographers in the business. 504 00:29:26,657 --> 00:29:28,199 Thank you. 505 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,373 - This printout I'm working on is perfect for you. 506 00:29:30,703 --> 00:29:32,245 If it's me, it's 9,000. 507 00:29:32,246 --> 00:29:33,788 9,000? 508 00:29:33,789 --> 00:29:36,042 I just want a picture of a light bulb with lipstick on it. 509 00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:38,001 Make it six. 510 00:29:38,002 --> 00:29:40,721 - Hey man, it's going in a newspaper, not an art gallery. 511 00:29:41,046 --> 00:29:42,672 1,200 is the best I can do. 512 00:29:42,673 --> 00:29:44,215 Forget it. 513 00:29:44,216 --> 00:29:45,317 350. 514 00:29:47,845 --> 00:29:49,722 I'll do it for nothing, I need the work. 515 00:29:50,806 --> 00:29:52,524 I can get anybody for nothing. 516 00:29:52,850 --> 00:29:54,121 Take a walk. 517 00:30:07,865 --> 00:30:11,665 - Lie la la Mohammed dura su Ii la, boss. 518 00:30:15,789 --> 00:30:17,837 - Who do you think you are, Lawrence of Nigeria? 519 00:30:18,167 --> 00:30:19,859 Least I ain' tjive. 520 00:30:27,509 --> 00:30:29,076 Big man. 521 00:30:30,220 --> 00:30:31,742 - You wanna have din-din? 522 00:30:33,390 --> 00:30:34,641 Why have dinner? 523 00:30:34,642 --> 00:30:37,987 I'm at 1293 Lennox, Apartment 4C. 524 00:30:40,731 --> 00:30:43,405 - I got to be straight with you, girl, I'm engaged. 525 00:30:44,902 --> 00:30:46,370 Keep it to yourself. 526 00:30:46,695 --> 00:30:50,040 Swope, I'm gonna bend you rjohnson. 527 00:30:51,575 --> 00:30:53,051 I'm ready. 528 00:30:54,328 --> 00:30:56,797 - I'm gonna make you young again. 529 00:30:57,122 --> 00:31:00,376 ♪ Ba-da-da-ba-da-da 530 00:31:00,709 --> 00:31:03,303 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-da 531 00:31:03,629 --> 00:31:06,553 ♪ Ba-da-da-da-da 532 00:31:06,882 --> 00:31:09,135 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-da 533 00:31:09,468 --> 00:31:12,392 ♪ Ba-da-da-da-da-da 534 00:31:12,721 --> 00:31:14,348 ♪ Ba-ba-ba 535 00:31:14,682 --> 00:31:15,908 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-da-da 536 00:31:18,185 --> 00:31:20,779 ♪ Ba-ba-da-da 537 00:31:22,398 --> 00:31:23,775 ♪ Ba-da-da-da-da 538 00:31:24,108 --> 00:31:25,576 Where is Lopez? 539 00:31:25,901 --> 00:31:27,360 Where you at, man? 540 00:31:27,361 --> 00:31:30,285 - Stratosphere baby, stratosphere. 541 00:31:30,614 --> 00:31:32,156 I'm stacked up over La Guardia 542 00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:34,455 and I'm not coming down for nobody. 543 00:31:34,785 --> 00:31:36,261 Not even you. 544 00:31:37,746 --> 00:31:39,748 - Mr. Swope, Mr. Swope. 545 00:31:40,082 --> 00:31:41,290 Brothers in the black room. 546 00:31:41,291 --> 00:31:42,583 Putney, Putney! 547 00:31:42,584 --> 00:31:44,002 - Brothers in the black room. 548 00:31:44,003 --> 00:31:44,961 - Putney, Sonny Williams, our copywriter, 549 00:31:44,962 --> 00:31:46,589 just got busted at Radio City. 550 00:31:46,922 --> 00:31:48,381 He was sitting in the first row 551 00:31:48,382 --> 00:31:49,716 and when the Rockettes came on, 552 00:31:49,717 --> 00:31:52,641 he opened and closed his raincoat and exposed himself. 553 00:31:52,970 --> 00:31:54,262 Bad PR. 554 00:31:54,263 --> 00:31:55,763 Tell Sonny next time he shows it 555 00:31:55,764 --> 00:31:57,357 I'll make him a creative director. 556 00:31:58,684 --> 00:32:00,226 Sonny? 557 00:32:00,227 --> 00:32:01,769 If you don't straighten up, 558 00:32:01,770 --> 00:32:03,647 we're gonna send you to Hollywood as a choreographer. 559 00:32:08,277 --> 00:32:09,904 - Putney, we just sold 17 new accounts 560 00:32:10,237 --> 00:32:12,706 and Cowboy says we have 156 million. 561 00:32:13,032 --> 00:32:15,626 - Mr. Swope, Brothers in the black room. 562 00:32:15,951 --> 00:32:17,953 - Putney, there's trouble in the black room. 563 00:32:19,580 --> 00:32:21,548 - Mr. Swope, brothers in the black room. 564 00:32:28,422 --> 00:32:30,194 Just you and me, Swope. 565 00:32:32,342 --> 00:32:33,844 You and me. 566 00:32:35,763 --> 00:32:39,267 - I deal with housing in the community, bad plumbing, 567 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,602 bad heating and bad rats. 568 00:32:41,935 --> 00:32:43,311 The only way to set to this thing straight 569 00:32:43,312 --> 00:32:46,612 is with self-determination, self-respect and self-defense. 570 00:32:50,944 --> 00:32:53,072 We don't go for Jesus no more. 571 00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:55,328 Violence is a cleansing force. 572 00:32:55,657 --> 00:32:58,536 We must adjust ourselves to the level of our audience, 573 00:32:58,869 --> 00:33:00,436 which is pretty low. 574 00:33:01,455 --> 00:33:04,709 - Non-violence has proven to be non-functional. 575 00:33:05,042 --> 00:33:06,734 So it's guns, baby. 576 00:33:07,461 --> 00:33:09,555 The end result will be our own political, 577 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,258 social, economic future. 578 00:33:13,592 --> 00:33:15,594 - My organization is pro-integration. 579 00:33:15,928 --> 00:33:17,555 We're not hostile like these other groups. 580 00:33:19,264 --> 00:33:20,686 - We can't do it legally, we'll do it legitimately. 581 00:33:21,016 --> 00:33:21,933 You know, up front. 582 00:33:21,934 --> 00:33:26,610 Tanks, cocktails, guns baby. 583 00:33:26,939 --> 00:33:29,237 - The pigs must cease the brutality, destruction 584 00:33:29,566 --> 00:33:31,568 and murder of our brothers and sisters. 585 00:33:31,902 --> 00:33:33,319 Or they'll suffer the consequences 586 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,448 from the armed people of the community. 587 00:33:35,781 --> 00:33:37,323 Bazookas! 588 00:33:37,324 --> 00:33:38,699 Tanks! 589 00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:40,202 Flamethrowers. 590 00:33:40,536 --> 00:33:42,538 - My organization is pro-integration. 591 00:33:42,871 --> 00:33:44,293 We're not hostile like these other groups. 592 00:33:44,623 --> 00:33:46,040 Lay some bread on it. 593 00:33:46,041 --> 00:33:47,458 Guns, baby. 594 00:33:47,459 --> 00:33:50,303 - A gun is not gonna get you a job. 595 00:33:50,629 --> 00:33:52,757 - It'll eliminate the competition. 596 00:33:55,217 --> 00:33:57,720 Who the hell wants a job? 597 00:33:58,053 --> 00:33:59,805 You better get yourself a piece. 598 00:34:00,139 --> 00:34:01,641 Lay some bread on it. 599 00:34:01,974 --> 00:34:03,647 Lay some bread on it. 600 00:34:03,976 --> 00:34:05,017 Lay some bread on it. 601 00:34:05,018 --> 00:34:07,271 - My group doesn't need your money, man. 602 00:34:09,773 --> 00:34:12,947 But what we can use is your help on another level. 603 00:34:14,653 --> 00:34:19,250 I believe that together with your power and my structure, 604 00:34:20,951 --> 00:34:23,795 we could create a subliminal tremor throughout the land, 605 00:34:24,121 --> 00:34:28,877 by using the advertising that comes out of your toilet. 606 00:34:29,751 --> 00:34:31,335 A word here, 607 00:34:31,336 --> 00:34:33,805 a phrase there, 608 00:34:39,428 --> 00:34:40,779 innuendoes, 609 00:34:46,727 --> 00:34:48,294 and subtleties. 610 00:34:49,146 --> 00:34:50,568 Lay some bread on it. 611 00:34:50,898 --> 00:34:53,401 - And when the time is right man, we move in for the kill. 612 00:34:53,734 --> 00:34:55,452 No mercy, stamp on them! 613 00:34:55,777 --> 00:34:56,736 What about the bread? 614 00:34:56,737 --> 00:34:58,070 _ Tap City. 615 00:34:58,071 --> 00:34:59,718 When my ship comes in, I'll call you. 616 00:35:00,324 --> 00:35:02,372 You're a sham. 617 00:35:02,701 --> 00:35:04,669 I'm gonna pull the covers off you. 618 00:35:04,995 --> 00:35:07,214 - You ain't pulling the covers off of nobody. 619 00:35:10,918 --> 00:35:15,139 - La-Ii-la-la-Mohammed ur ah su Ii la. 620 00:35:19,092 --> 00:35:23,188 La Ii Ia la mixed-media. 621 00:35:23,513 --> 00:35:25,285 Ra su Ii la 622 00:35:30,020 --> 00:35:33,900 la la la Ia la la la Ia la. 623 00:35:36,902 --> 00:35:38,529 Ah Ii la la Mohammed. 624 00:35:40,864 --> 00:35:42,490 Hey man. 625 00:35:42,491 --> 00:35:44,116 You're just the cat I wanted to see, man. 626 00:35:44,117 --> 00:35:46,165 I was looking all around for you, Jim. 627 00:35:46,495 --> 00:35:48,120 Do you know what, man? 628 00:35:48,121 --> 00:35:50,840 Like I'm tired, I'm fed up. 629 00:35:51,166 --> 00:35:52,792 I can't take no more. 630 00:35:52,793 --> 00:35:55,091 I can't stand no more of Putney Swope, man. 631 00:35:55,420 --> 00:35:56,967 Like, he's got to go, man. 632 00:35:57,297 --> 00:35:59,766 'Cause this cat is a jive cat, you understand? 633 00:36:00,092 --> 00:36:01,342 You know what, man? 634 00:36:01,343 --> 00:36:03,721 Like, I have been drubbin' his old lady. 635 00:36:04,054 --> 00:36:05,096 Do you dig this? 636 00:36:05,097 --> 00:36:06,849 And this cat has never said nothing to me, man. 637 00:36:07,182 --> 00:36:08,729 I have called him out many a times 638 00:36:09,059 --> 00:36:10,402 in front of all the people around here, 639 00:36:10,727 --> 00:36:12,195 who kiss this cat's ass, man. 640 00:36:12,521 --> 00:36:13,896 I don't kiss his ass. 641 00:36:13,897 --> 00:36:15,356 'Cause I call it like it is, man. 642 00:36:15,357 --> 00:36:16,825 This man caught me with his woman 643 00:36:17,150 --> 00:36:18,948 and still, this cat can't get rid of me, 644 00:36:19,278 --> 00:36:20,655 'cause I got the power, you understand? 645 00:36:20,988 --> 00:36:22,661 I got the power, I got the talent 646 00:36:22,990 --> 00:36:24,617 and I got everything that this cat wants. 647 00:36:24,950 --> 00:36:25,992 He keeps me around here 648 00:36:25,993 --> 00:36:27,745 because I make him look good, you understand? 649 00:36:28,078 --> 00:36:30,456 And I'm tired of making this cat look good. 650 00:36:30,789 --> 00:36:31,998 Are you ready to die? 651 00:36:31,999 --> 00:36:33,342 Man, I'm ready to die. 652 00:36:33,667 --> 00:36:36,671 I'm ready to go anywhere, do anything, see anybody, 653 00:36:37,004 --> 00:36:40,725 walk, talk, smart, be anything, to do what I got to do, man. 654 00:36:41,049 --> 00:36:42,216 And I'm died. 655 00:36:42,217 --> 00:36:43,718 Dying means nothing to me, man. 656 00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,687 You know, I also wanted to get things straight around here, 657 00:36:46,013 --> 00:36:47,856 man, 'cause Putney Swope is a jive cat, man. 658 00:36:48,181 --> 00:36:49,348 He can't talk. 659 00:36:49,349 --> 00:36:50,433 He can't walk. 660 00:36:50,434 --> 00:36:51,726 He can't sit. 661 00:36:51,727 --> 00:36:53,269 Man, this cat can't do nothing right. 662 00:36:53,270 --> 00:36:54,772 He was voted in here on a hummer. 663 00:36:57,024 --> 00:36:59,823 - Mr. Swope, I'm tired of doing commercials. 664 00:37:00,152 --> 00:37:02,530 I wanna do something more creative. 665 00:37:02,863 --> 00:37:05,036 - Pick up your severance pay. 666 00:37:05,365 --> 00:37:06,949 Why? 667 00:37:06,950 --> 00:37:08,034 - Did I ask you why when you said you wanted 668 00:37:08,035 --> 00:37:09,537 to do something more creative? 669 00:37:10,704 --> 00:37:11,975 Nope. 670 00:37:17,127 --> 00:37:19,050 I feel like an Oreo cookie. 671 00:37:19,379 --> 00:37:21,347 You like a pile of shit. 672 00:37:35,103 --> 00:37:36,855 - Are you putting me on? 673 00:37:40,108 --> 00:37:41,233 Where you been, Put? 674 00:37:41,234 --> 00:37:42,577 Mecca. 675 00:37:42,903 --> 00:37:46,203 - The man says he's the President of the United States. 676 00:37:53,497 --> 00:37:54,768 Yeah? 677 00:37:55,791 --> 00:37:56,499 Putney Swope? 678 00:37:56,500 --> 00:37:57,625 Yeah? 679 00:37:57,626 --> 00:37:59,549 What do you mean, yeah? 680 00:37:59,878 --> 00:38:01,379 Be congenial. 681 00:38:01,380 --> 00:38:04,475 I want to extend to you my deepest congratulation. 682 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,804 It's very, very important to have a boy like you, 683 00:38:08,136 --> 00:38:10,480 in such a prominent position. 684 00:38:10,806 --> 00:38:12,014 It's good for me. 685 00:38:12,015 --> 00:38:13,140 It's good for you. 686 00:38:13,141 --> 00:38:15,235 And it might keep the summers cool. 687 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:16,903 I like your style, Swope. 688 00:38:17,229 --> 00:38:19,857 So I'm gonna throw some business your way. 689 00:38:20,190 --> 00:38:22,067 I never chase foul balls. 690 00:38:22,401 --> 00:38:24,324 You are lot of laughs. 691 00:38:24,653 --> 00:38:26,826 Next time I'm up in Big Town, we'll get together 692 00:38:27,155 --> 00:38:28,656 and shoot up or something. 693 00:38:28,657 --> 00:38:29,949 What you want, man? 694 00:38:29,950 --> 00:38:31,998 - Mr. Six, the man who owns the Borman Six 695 00:38:32,327 --> 00:38:33,577 is a friend of mine. 696 00:38:33,578 --> 00:38:35,876 Take care of him, quick! 697 00:38:38,333 --> 00:38:39,291 Looks good. 698 00:38:39,292 --> 00:38:40,794 He'll come around. 699 00:38:41,128 --> 00:38:42,086 Thank you. 700 00:38:42,087 --> 00:38:43,546 Excellent, Mimeo! 701 00:38:43,547 --> 00:38:45,766 I like the way you handle yourself on the telephone. 702 00:38:46,091 --> 00:38:47,383 You're nobody's fool. 703 00:38:47,384 --> 00:38:49,009 Except perhaps, mine. 704 00:38:49,010 --> 00:38:50,512 But I'm glad I chose you for this job. 705 00:38:50,846 --> 00:38:52,348 You've justified my faith in you. 706 00:38:53,849 --> 00:38:56,227 However, Mimeo, there is one question. 707 00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:00,110 This business about shooting up in the big town. 708 00:39:00,439 --> 00:39:03,033 After all, a man in your position, 709 00:39:03,358 --> 00:39:05,656 which is a rather strange position, 710 00:39:05,986 --> 00:39:07,329 you have justified my confidence 711 00:39:07,654 --> 00:39:10,248 in having chosen such a big man for this assignment. 712 00:39:11,616 --> 00:39:13,869 There are however, one or two points 713 00:39:14,202 --> 00:39:15,670 I would like to bring up. 714 00:39:15,996 --> 00:39:18,090 After all, I'm sure Barnum and Bailey 715 00:39:18,415 --> 00:39:19,962 wouldn't mind having you back. 716 00:39:20,292 --> 00:39:23,717 So, please, I suggest you be a little more careful. 717 00:39:24,045 --> 00:39:26,093 Mrs. Mimeo, you play divinely. 718 00:39:26,423 --> 00:39:28,721 Perhaps you would like to play for me sometime. 719 00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,063 Nice wife you have there, Mimeo. 720 00:39:34,306 --> 00:39:35,853 It would be most unfortunate, would it not, 721 00:39:36,183 --> 00:39:38,185 if anything should happen to her? 722 00:39:43,773 --> 00:39:47,323 - Don't worry, Mr. Sm, the Barman Sm gonna be okay. 723 00:39:47,652 --> 00:39:49,279 - I hope you're right Mimeo, for your sake. 724 00:39:49,613 --> 00:39:51,661 But now, we have a moment of joviality. 725 00:39:51,990 --> 00:39:53,992 We relax, you, Ruthie and I, we sit down, 726 00:39:54,326 --> 00:39:57,079 we partake of a bit of grass, I've got some good shit. 727 00:39:58,330 --> 00:39:59,330 Tell me something, Mimeo, 728 00:39:59,331 --> 00:40:00,958 do you have the new Maximilian Schell album? 729 00:40:01,291 --> 00:40:02,249 I love rock and roll. 730 00:40:02,250 --> 00:40:03,752 Perhaps The Electric Pygmy? 731 00:40:04,085 --> 00:40:06,304 Ruthie, you're looking lovely as ever my dear. 732 00:40:06,630 --> 00:40:08,007 - From now on, if outsiders wanna talk to me, 733 00:40:08,340 --> 00:40:11,765 they're gonna talk in my face. 734 00:40:12,093 --> 00:40:13,436 No more telephones. 735 00:40:13,762 --> 00:40:15,355 Too much communication. 736 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:16,972 If you take out the phones, 737 00:40:16,973 --> 00:40:18,390 how are we going to conduct business? 738 00:40:18,391 --> 00:40:19,984 With your head and your soul. 739 00:40:20,310 --> 00:40:21,560 That's right! 740 00:40:21,561 --> 00:40:22,904 That's unrealistic. 741 00:40:23,230 --> 00:40:24,271 If you want reality, 742 00:40:24,272 --> 00:40:25,865 I'm gonna put you back on the streets. 743 00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:28,526 The dude's right. 744 00:40:28,527 --> 00:40:30,152 We don't need phones. 745 00:40:30,153 --> 00:40:31,529 I can get a message to California 746 00:40:31,530 --> 00:40:33,453 quicker than you can make a phone call. 747 00:40:33,782 --> 00:40:34,573 How? 748 00:40:34,574 --> 00:40:35,366 The drum. 749 00:40:35,367 --> 00:40:36,450 Say what? 750 00:40:36,451 --> 00:40:37,243 The drum. 751 00:40:37,244 --> 00:40:38,369 What's that? 752 00:40:38,370 --> 00:40:39,787 Vibrations. 753 00:40:39,788 --> 00:40:41,540 - Out O'Dinga, you're finished. 754 00:40:52,008 --> 00:40:54,056 I heard you fired Mr. O'Dinga. 755 00:40:54,386 --> 00:40:55,844 How did you find out? 756 00:40:55,845 --> 00:40:56,946 The drum. 757 00:40:57,722 --> 00:40:59,770 - Hey, Lopez says this place is crazy. 758 00:41:00,100 --> 00:41:01,667 Who's Lopez? 759 00:41:02,310 --> 00:41:03,903 He's in my head. 760 00:41:04,229 --> 00:41:05,437 That's right. 761 00:41:05,438 --> 00:41:06,814 - I've been running this tree hut 762 00:41:06,815 --> 00:41:08,317 just like it was run before. 763 00:41:08,650 --> 00:41:10,323 Straight into the ground. 764 00:41:10,652 --> 00:41:13,531 I've made a few innovations, but not enough. 765 00:41:14,864 --> 00:41:16,407 I have a feeling that there's a lot 766 00:41:16,408 --> 00:41:18,911 of untapped talent around here. 767 00:41:19,244 --> 00:41:23,090 So beginning right now, I want each and every one of you, 768 00:41:23,415 --> 00:41:27,215 to conceive, write, produce and execute your own campaign. 769 00:41:29,212 --> 00:41:31,055 If you don't think you can come up with something new, 770 00:41:31,381 --> 00:41:32,974 then don't come up with nothing. 771 00:41:33,300 --> 00:41:35,223 And if you don't feel that you're the creative type, 772 00:41:35,552 --> 00:41:37,054 then pitch in and help somebody else 773 00:41:37,387 --> 00:41:39,060 with what they're doing. 774 00:41:50,358 --> 00:41:52,827 - Creative juices are flowing my main man. 775 00:41:53,153 --> 00:41:55,155 You've liberated my muse. 776 00:41:55,488 --> 00:41:58,742 - Picture a foxy chick sitting on a park bench, 777 00:41:59,075 --> 00:42:00,543 the camera zooms underneath her dress 778 00:42:00,869 --> 00:42:02,963 and you cut to a train coming out of a tunnel. 779 00:42:03,288 --> 00:42:05,336 It's a commercial for the Long Island Railroad. 780 00:42:05,665 --> 00:42:07,542 Like it's surreal man, surreal. 781 00:42:07,876 --> 00:42:09,628 Are you for surreal? 782 00:42:09,961 --> 00:42:13,056 - I don't have any ideas, but it's good to know 783 00:42:13,381 --> 00:42:16,885 that if I ever do, I'll be able to try them out. 784 00:42:17,218 --> 00:42:19,812 - I just came up with three names for teenage skin creams; 785 00:42:20,138 --> 00:42:23,017 No Blem, Squeeze No, and Face Off. 786 00:42:23,350 --> 00:42:24,516 Get rid of him. 787 00:42:24,517 --> 00:42:25,851 Mr. Swope, I think we should 788 00:42:25,852 --> 00:42:28,025 do all our commercials in sepia. 789 00:42:28,355 --> 00:42:30,778 And instead of having coffee breaks, 790 00:42:31,107 --> 00:42:32,984 we should have watermelon breaks. 791 00:42:33,318 --> 00:42:34,693 Get rid of him, too. 792 00:42:34,694 --> 00:42:37,197 - Hey, here's a poem I wrote when I was in jail. 793 00:42:37,530 --> 00:42:39,532 Life is about a relentless journey to a path 794 00:42:39,866 --> 00:42:41,367 with oncoming screeching cars 795 00:42:41,368 --> 00:42:43,120 with headlights of boredom 796 00:42:43,453 --> 00:42:46,172 and a bumper of social responsibility. 797 00:43:05,558 --> 00:43:07,356 - Mr. President, did you hear about the woman 798 00:43:07,686 --> 00:43:09,228 who asked her husband to walk out 799 00:43:09,229 --> 00:43:10,562 to the garbage can with her? 800 00:43:10,563 --> 00:43:12,440 "Are you out of your mind?" replied her husband. 801 00:43:12,774 --> 00:43:14,358 "Not at all," replied the wife, 802 00:43:14,359 --> 00:43:15,609 "I'd like the neighbors 803 00:43:15,610 --> 00:43:17,237 "to know we go out together once in a while." 804 00:43:19,197 --> 00:43:20,744 Mr. President, did you hear about the fellow 805 00:43:21,074 --> 00:43:22,658 who was nine feet, eight inches tall 806 00:43:22,659 --> 00:43:24,377 and wore a size 22 shoe? 807 00:43:25,745 --> 00:43:26,954 And do you know what he did for a living? 808 00:43:26,955 --> 00:43:28,457 He stamped out forest fires. 809 00:43:28,790 --> 00:43:32,385 Mimeo, what is that? 810 00:43:35,296 --> 00:43:37,094 - The game warden wanted me to throw it back. 811 00:43:37,424 --> 00:43:41,270 But I put up such a fight that I mounted it. 812 00:43:45,515 --> 00:43:47,643 - Mr. President, this fellow who went down to Florida 813 00:43:47,976 --> 00:43:49,944 to do a demonstration, a benefit show- 814 00:43:50,270 --> 00:43:51,812 Oh this is a real funny man. 815 00:43:51,813 --> 00:43:53,439 Funny man! 816 00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:54,942 - In a benefit show and they put up a special platform, 817 00:43:55,275 --> 00:43:56,483 with a trap door. 818 00:43:56,484 --> 00:43:58,111 - Mimeo, who is this schmuck you have hired, 819 00:43:58,445 --> 00:43:59,695 he's babbling in your ear, over and over. 820 00:43:59,696 --> 00:44:00,612 And his- 821 00:44:00,613 --> 00:44:02,035 Mr. President, Mr. President? 822 00:44:02,365 --> 00:44:03,699 What banality! 823 00:44:03,700 --> 00:44:06,328 - Mr. President, and this fellow's show was so terrible 824 00:44:06,661 --> 00:44:08,078 that when the trap door opened- 825 00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:09,538 - Ruthie. - If it wasn't for the fact- 826 00:44:09,539 --> 00:44:10,581 If you would like a toke. 827 00:44:10,582 --> 00:44:11,498 - That he had a rope around his neck- 828 00:44:11,499 --> 00:44:12,666 Come on put hair on your nose. 829 00:44:12,667 --> 00:44:13,733 He would have broken his legs. 830 00:44:14,252 --> 00:44:15,899 And he couldn't kick. 831 00:44:18,965 --> 00:44:20,507 Yeah, he is funny! 832 00:44:20,508 --> 00:44:22,476 Actually, when I think about it, I knew he was funny. 833 00:44:22,802 --> 00:44:25,329 Mr. President? 834 00:44:26,765 --> 00:44:27,866 Mr. President? 835 00:44:31,519 --> 00:44:33,336 Mr. President? 836 00:44:35,398 --> 00:44:36,607 Hey, it's cold in here. 837 00:44:36,608 --> 00:44:38,531 Throw another Jew on the fire! 838 00:44:41,529 --> 00:44:43,051 Mr. President? 839 00:44:43,406 --> 00:44:45,374 Mr. President. 840 00:44:45,700 --> 00:44:47,301 There were three women in Florida. 841 00:44:50,538 --> 00:44:52,211 Mr. President, there were three women in Florida- 842 00:44:52,540 --> 00:44:54,437 Sock it to me, baby! 843 00:44:55,335 --> 00:44:56,712 Describing what once. 844 00:44:58,379 --> 00:44:59,946 Mr. President? 845 00:45:02,050 --> 00:45:03,393 Mr. President? 846 00:45:06,721 --> 00:45:07,638 0y! 847 00:45:07,639 --> 00:45:08,956 Mr. President? 848 00:45:18,983 --> 00:45:23,409 ♪ It started last weekend 849 00:45:23,738 --> 00:45:28,494 ♪ At the Yale-Howard game 850 00:45:29,869 --> 00:45:32,918 ♪ Girl, I saw your beaver flash 851 00:45:33,248 --> 00:45:37,378 ♪ I'll never be the same 852 00:45:37,710 --> 00:45:42,466 ♪ Oh, no 853 00:45:44,300 --> 00:45:49,181 ♪ You gave me a soul kiss 854 00:45:50,181 --> 00:45:54,027 ♪ Boy, it sure was grand 855 00:45:54,352 --> 00:45:57,902 ♪ You gave me a dry hump 856 00:45:58,231 --> 00:46:02,327 ♪ Behind the hotdog stand 857 00:46:02,652 --> 00:46:07,408 ♪ Oh, yeah 858 00:46:09,033 --> 00:46:13,379 ♪ I used to have pimples 859 00:46:13,705 --> 00:46:18,461 ♪ But I made them disappear 860 00:46:19,460 --> 00:46:22,339 ♪ He faced life with Face Off 861 00:46:22,672 --> 00:46:26,518 ♪ It made his skin so clear, um-um 862 00:46:33,641 --> 00:46:37,942 ♪ A pimple is simple 863 00:46:38,271 --> 00:46:43,027 ♪ If you treat your pimples right 864 00:46:43,860 --> 00:46:46,864 ♪ My man uses Face Off 865 00:46:47,196 --> 00:46:51,497 ♪ He's really out of sight 866 00:46:51,826 --> 00:46:55,296 ♪ And so are his pimples 867 00:47:19,646 --> 00:47:22,274 - I just created a skin cream called Face Off. 868 00:47:22,607 --> 00:47:24,405 And I just come up with a whole new concept 869 00:47:24,734 --> 00:47:26,702 for the Long Island Railroad. 870 00:47:27,028 --> 00:47:28,450 I love you, baby. 871 00:47:28,780 --> 00:47:30,123 I love you. 872 00:47:30,448 --> 00:47:31,949 I love you, baby. 873 00:47:31,950 --> 00:47:33,372 I love you. 874 00:47:33,701 --> 00:47:35,118 I love you, baby. 875 00:47:35,119 --> 00:47:36,036 I love you. 876 00:47:36,037 --> 00:47:37,414 Did you take your pill? 877 00:47:38,706 --> 00:47:40,148 You'll never know. 878 00:47:45,713 --> 00:47:47,340 ls Mr. Swope in? 879 00:47:47,674 --> 00:47:48,590 " Huh? 880 00:47:48,591 --> 00:47:50,059 This is President Mimeo. 881 00:47:56,265 --> 00:47:57,683 Yeah? 882 00:47:57,684 --> 00:47:59,231 Putney? 883 00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:00,852 Yeah. 884 00:48:00,853 --> 00:48:02,079 Guess who? 885 00:48:03,231 --> 00:48:04,608 Marcus Garvey. 886 00:48:04,941 --> 00:48:06,087 Nope. 887 00:48:06,693 --> 00:48:08,110 T")! again. 888 00:48:08,111 --> 00:48:09,695 President Mimeo. 889 00:48:09,696 --> 00:48:10,737 How did you guess? 890 00:48:10,738 --> 00:48:12,490 I used to be an exterminator. 891 00:48:12,824 --> 00:48:15,168 - You might be saying, I used to have an agency, 892 00:48:15,493 --> 00:48:18,212 if you don't get moving on the Borman Six. 893 00:48:18,538 --> 00:48:20,961 - Why are you so hung up on the Borman Six? 894 00:48:21,290 --> 00:48:22,833 I'm a stockholder. 895 00:48:22,834 --> 00:48:24,302 Let me sleep on it. 896 00:48:24,627 --> 00:48:25,853 Good night, pal. 897 00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:52,591 Out! 898 00:48:54,782 --> 00:48:56,705 Swope, Mark Focus. 899 00:48:58,202 --> 00:48:59,678 Whadda you want? 900 00:49:01,414 --> 00:49:03,061 Did that for Hertz. 901 00:49:03,750 --> 00:49:05,167 That's Colgate, 902 00:49:05,168 --> 00:49:05,959 Nabisco- 903 00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:07,461 I seen enough, Mark. 904 00:49:07,462 --> 00:49:09,590 You're one of the best photographers in the business. 905 00:49:09,922 --> 00:49:10,756 Thank you. 906 00:49:10,757 --> 00:49:12,233 Take a walk. 907 00:49:20,016 --> 00:49:21,287 Mr. President? 908 00:49:22,101 --> 00:49:23,543 Mark Focus. 909 00:49:28,483 --> 00:49:30,300 I did this for Kennedy. 910 00:49:33,946 --> 00:49:35,798 I did this for Johnson. 911 00:49:39,744 --> 00:49:41,311 I did this for Nixon. 912 00:49:44,665 --> 00:49:46,713 And this was the Agnew Funeral. 913 00:49:47,043 --> 00:49:48,795 - Have you a picture of Raquel Welch? 914 00:49:54,008 --> 00:49:56,010 Would you like to join us? 915 00:49:58,971 --> 00:50:00,663 Did you vote for me? 916 00:50:03,017 --> 00:50:04,334 Well, it's okay. 917 00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:39,182 Beach Club Sunday. 918 00:50:39,512 --> 00:50:41,685 - Come up with an idea for the Borman Six. 919 00:50:43,224 --> 00:50:45,943 - I know nothing about automobiles. 920 00:50:47,311 --> 00:50:49,689 - Give me an idea for the Borman Six. 921 00:50:51,107 --> 00:50:55,738 - All right, if I ever think of anything, I'll let you know. 922 00:51:01,576 --> 00:51:03,044 - Did you think of something? 923 00:51:05,037 --> 00:51:06,960 The Borman Six, nitwit. 924 00:51:07,290 --> 00:51:09,634 - Listen Swope, if you want me to come up with ideas, 925 00:51:09,959 --> 00:51:11,251 get me a license! 926 00:51:11,252 --> 00:51:13,050 Take me down to city hall and do what's right. 927 00:51:14,172 --> 00:51:15,380 Forget it. 928 00:51:15,381 --> 00:51:16,948 You forget! 929 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,027 Mr. Swope, congratulations. 930 00:51:54,086 --> 00:51:56,305 What about the Bowman Sm'? 931 00:51:57,965 --> 00:51:59,717 Oh, all right. 932 00:52:01,177 --> 00:52:02,724 What are they gonna feature next year? 933 00:52:03,054 --> 00:52:04,931 - Defects, pollution, velvet safety belts, 934 00:52:05,264 --> 00:52:06,765 strobe headlights, fiberglass windshields- 935 00:52:06,766 --> 00:52:07,867 okay- 936 00:52:16,567 --> 00:52:18,695 You gotta get a young girl with soul. 937 00:52:27,453 --> 00:52:29,797 - You better get moving on that freight elevator. 938 00:52:35,670 --> 00:52:38,264 - Sonny Williams got picked up in the Bronx Holiday Inn, 939 00:52:38,589 --> 00:52:40,216 with a 13-year-old girl. 940 00:52:41,926 --> 00:52:44,224 - At least he's not superstitious. 941 00:52:44,553 --> 00:52:45,930 Your lawyer, who's his lawyer, 942 00:52:46,264 --> 00:52:48,062 wants to be the prosecuting attorney. 943 00:52:49,308 --> 00:52:52,061 - Get Sonny Williams in here, now! 944 00:53:03,739 --> 00:53:05,115 - Would you like to come over 945 00:53:05,116 --> 00:53:06,959 to my house and have some dainties? 946 00:53:07,285 --> 00:53:08,576 I don't exercise. 947 00:53:08,577 --> 00:53:10,295 Don't put me down. 948 00:53:10,621 --> 00:53:12,214 I can't sleep because of you. 949 00:53:13,833 --> 00:53:16,677 That's why I've got these valises under my eyes. 950 00:53:17,003 --> 00:53:18,801 I'm in love with you, Myron X. 951 00:53:19,130 --> 00:53:20,632 My name is Rufus. 952 00:53:20,965 --> 00:53:22,308 - I don't care what your name is. 953 00:53:22,633 --> 00:53:23,859 You're my man. 954 00:53:26,095 --> 00:53:27,262 I'm not your man. 955 00:53:27,263 --> 00:53:28,722 Yes, you are. 956 00:53:28,723 --> 00:53:30,896 - I'm not your man and I never will be. 957 00:53:31,225 --> 00:53:33,569 - I don't care what you say to me. 958 00:53:33,894 --> 00:53:35,817 You're my biggest fantasy. 959 00:53:36,147 --> 00:53:38,275 I dream about you every night. 960 00:53:40,109 --> 00:53:41,318 That's okay. 961 00:53:41,319 --> 00:53:42,866 Just don't send me the laundry bill. 962 00:54:00,421 --> 00:54:05,268 - Putney says the Borman Six girl has got to have soul! 963 00:54:08,971 --> 00:54:13,818 Putney says the Borman Six girl has got to have soul! 964 00:54:29,158 --> 00:54:34,039 Putney says the Borman Six girl has got to have soul! 965 00:54:38,167 --> 00:54:39,939 Got to have soul! 966 00:54:43,923 --> 00:54:48,804 Putney says the Borman Six girl has... 967 00:54:54,558 --> 00:54:55,980 Best shit on me. 968 00:54:56,310 --> 00:54:57,456 Yeah. 969 00:54:58,187 --> 00:54:59,229 - Excuse me, Mr. Swope, 970 00:54:59,230 --> 00:55:00,188 can I speak to you a minute? 971 00:55:00,189 --> 00:55:01,540 Sure. 972 00:55:11,075 --> 00:55:14,375 - Mr. Swope, I do exactly the same job 973 00:55:14,703 --> 00:55:16,329 as the other executives. 974 00:55:16,330 --> 00:55:18,207 But I don't make as much money as they do. 975 00:55:19,250 --> 00:55:20,593 I don't think that's right. 976 00:55:22,211 --> 00:55:25,511 - If I give you a raise, everybody's gonna want a raise. 977 00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:27,465 And if I give them a raise, 978 00:55:27,466 --> 00:55:29,685 they'll still be making more money than you. 979 00:55:30,010 --> 00:55:32,058 And we'll be right back where we started. 980 00:55:38,978 --> 00:55:41,151 - I'd never thought of it that way. 981 00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:44,154 - And that's why you get less money. 982 00:55:44,483 --> 00:55:45,905 'Cause you don't think. 983 00:55:50,156 --> 00:55:51,678 Thank you. 984 00:56:05,045 --> 00:56:06,463 I believe this. 985 00:56:06,464 --> 00:56:07,881 This girl, she's got to have soul. 986 00:56:07,882 --> 00:56:09,304 Don't you believe this? 987 00:56:10,468 --> 00:56:12,596 She's got to have soul. 988 00:56:12,928 --> 00:56:15,898 Putney says she's got to have soul, right? 989 00:56:16,849 --> 00:56:18,271 See, she's got to have soul. 990 00:56:20,478 --> 00:56:22,196 Putney says she's got to have soul. 991 00:56:28,068 --> 00:56:30,070 Don't you believe she's got to have soul, Mr. Roth? 992 00:56:32,031 --> 00:56:32,947 Let's go, let's go. 993 00:56:32,948 --> 00:56:34,014 Let's go. 994 00:56:58,599 --> 00:57:00,727 - You can't eat an air conditioner. 995 00:57:28,921 --> 00:57:31,344 - Beautiful, give everyone a 10 buck raise-. 996 00:57:31,674 --> 00:57:33,301 What about the messengers? 997 00:57:43,185 --> 00:57:46,940 - They charge an arm and a leg in there, but it's worth it. 998 00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:01,452 What's that for? 999 00:58:01,453 --> 00:58:03,305 Worth It Life Insurance. 1000 00:58:14,300 --> 00:58:19,181 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1001 00:58:23,809 --> 00:58:28,690 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1002 00:58:30,357 --> 00:58:35,238 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1003 00:58:36,864 --> 00:58:41,745 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1004 00:58:43,287 --> 00:58:48,168 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1005 00:58:49,126 --> 00:58:54,007 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1006 00:58:55,132 --> 00:58:59,228 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1007 00:58:59,553 --> 00:59:04,229 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1008 00:59:07,853 --> 00:59:12,734 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1009 00:59:13,692 --> 00:59:18,573 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1010 00:59:19,657 --> 00:59:22,251 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1011 00:59:35,547 --> 00:59:38,175 ♪ La-la-la-Ia 1012 00:59:38,509 --> 00:59:43,265 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1013 00:59:44,473 --> 00:59:49,354 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1014 00:59:50,437 --> 00:59:52,656 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1015 00:59:52,981 --> 00:59:54,858 ♪ Ba-baa 1016 01:00:06,036 --> 01:00:07,537 Will the passenger holding, 1017 01:00:07,538 --> 01:00:12,294 lucky winning ticket 586, repeat, 586, 1018 01:00:14,545 --> 01:00:17,219 please report to the special lucky prize room, 1019 01:00:17,548 --> 01:00:19,141 at the rear of the aircraft? 1020 01:00:20,426 --> 01:00:22,053 Go Lucky Airlines. 1021 01:01:49,348 --> 01:01:50,264 Who did that? 1022 01:01:50,265 --> 01:01:51,057 You did. 1023 01:01:51,058 --> 01:01:52,308 It was your idea. 1024 01:01:52,309 --> 01:01:54,528 Not bad, not bad. 1025 01:01:54,853 --> 01:01:56,901 - We'll have 12 more by sundown. 1026 01:01:57,231 --> 01:01:59,199 - I want these on the air by tomorrow night. 1027 01:02:00,943 --> 01:02:03,822 - Putney, in my humble opinion, 1028 01:02:04,154 --> 01:02:06,282 these commercials are tasteless. 1029 01:02:06,615 --> 01:02:09,084 - Putney, Myron X said you were tasteless. 1030 01:02:09,409 --> 01:02:11,582 - You said we were gonna do things with integrity and style. 1031 01:02:11,912 --> 01:02:13,120 What we're doing is worse 1032 01:02:13,121 --> 01:02:15,089 than anything our predecessors ever done. 1033 01:02:15,415 --> 01:02:18,294 Damn commercials are literal and they're disgusting. 1034 01:02:18,627 --> 01:02:20,629 And by advocating such filth, 1035 01:02:20,963 --> 01:02:23,842 Putney is confusing obscenity with originality. 1036 01:02:24,174 --> 01:02:25,972 - Let me un-confuse you, baby. 1037 01:02:26,301 --> 01:02:28,303 - Everybody that was in these commercials, you fired! 1038 01:02:28,637 --> 01:02:29,637 Ain't one of them around! 1039 01:02:29,638 --> 01:02:31,180 And I know you a jive cat, 1040 01:02:31,181 --> 01:02:32,265 'cause you done made your last mistake 1041 01:02:32,266 --> 01:02:33,724 you ever gonna make, mister. 1042 01:02:33,725 --> 01:02:35,773 I seen that nonsense you trying to show us here. 1043 01:02:36,103 --> 01:02:37,776 You trying to dupe everybody in this joint. 1044 01:02:38,105 --> 01:02:39,689 Now what is this? 1045 01:02:39,690 --> 01:02:41,317 We done taken the last bit of your nonsense, man. 1046 01:02:41,650 --> 01:02:43,234 I'm not gonna take all this crap. 1047 01:02:43,235 --> 01:02:44,703 Everybody knows you a jive nigger. 1048 01:02:45,028 --> 01:02:46,530 You done pulled all this jive shit. 1049 01:02:46,864 --> 01:02:48,582 Your mother had a creative idea when she borne you, 1050 01:02:48,907 --> 01:02:50,533 and you had to go and blow that! 1051 01:02:50,534 --> 01:02:52,411 Then you gonna come and try to show us all this crap. 1052 01:02:52,744 --> 01:02:54,121 A nigger sitting up there eating cornflakes. 1053 01:02:54,454 --> 01:02:56,377 Man, you ain't had nothing original since you got here. 1054 01:02:56,707 --> 01:02:58,175 You stole the idea about Borman Six. 1055 01:02:58,500 --> 01:02:59,584 You got it from your wife! 1056 01:02:59,585 --> 01:03:01,002 Are you gonna tell me that's a lie? 1057 01:03:01,003 --> 01:03:02,380 One night she told me herself. 1058 01:03:02,713 --> 01:03:04,090 And that little nephew who gave you 1059 01:03:04,423 --> 01:03:06,846 that idea for that other thing and you got rid of him. 1060 01:03:07,175 --> 01:03:08,677 Ain't nobody around who help you in anything. 1061 01:03:09,011 --> 01:03:11,764 Everybody has either been shut up, cut up, or been put out. 1062 01:03:12,097 --> 01:03:13,770 Can't you see this trash this man is trying to sell us? 1063 01:03:14,099 --> 01:03:15,476 Look at you in the highwater pants. 1064 01:03:15,809 --> 01:03:17,857 You jive nigger, look at your two-button suit. 1065 01:03:18,186 --> 01:03:19,520 Now what kind of suit is that? 1066 01:03:19,521 --> 01:03:20,438 You're supposed to be a soul brother. 1067 01:03:20,439 --> 01:03:21,731 Look at these brother's here. 1068 01:03:21,732 --> 01:03:23,024 Everybody's dressed up like pride and dignity. 1069 01:03:23,025 --> 01:03:24,567 You ain't got none. 1070 01:03:24,568 --> 01:03:25,776 Now what are you tryin to do? 1071 01:03:25,777 --> 01:03:28,371 Ho ho oh ya ya, ya Ya Ya, yeah, yeah. 1072 01:03:28,697 --> 01:03:30,370 This company runs because I'm here. 1073 01:03:30,699 --> 01:03:32,372 And I'm gonna hate you if you don't get right. 1074 01:03:32,701 --> 01:03:33,618 And you ain't right and I hate you. 1075 01:03:33,619 --> 01:03:35,246 I hate you, you understand? 1076 01:03:35,579 --> 01:03:37,206 I hate you because you a jive cat. 1077 01:03:37,539 --> 01:03:38,831 You ain't got nothing inside! 1078 01:03:38,832 --> 01:03:40,124 You got to go. 1079 01:03:40,125 --> 01:03:42,674 You got to go or I got to go and I'm not going. 1080 01:03:43,003 --> 01:03:44,128 Now how you like that? 1081 01:03:44,129 --> 01:03:45,338 He ain't got a thing inside him. 1082 01:03:45,339 --> 01:03:46,923 He ain't nothing but a shell. 1083 01:03:46,924 --> 01:03:48,517 Hey man, you better let me go! 1084 01:03:48,842 --> 01:03:49,759 I'm gonna get him! 1085 01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:50,801 Shit! 1086 01:03:50,802 --> 01:03:51,719 Get off me! 1087 01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:58,770 ♪ Ta da 1088 01:03:59,811 --> 01:04:02,985 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da 1089 01:04:03,315 --> 01:04:06,694 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da 1090 01:04:07,027 --> 01:04:09,280 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1091 01:04:12,699 --> 01:04:14,888 " Cut! 1092 01:04:28,340 --> 01:04:29,842 ♪ Ba-ba-ba 1093 01:04:30,175 --> 01:04:33,019 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1094 01:04:33,345 --> 01:04:35,071 Whatddaya think? 1095 01:04:37,599 --> 01:04:39,567 Keep the money, Swope. 1096 01:04:39,893 --> 01:04:43,693 But don't put it on the air, or I'll be out of business. 1097 01:04:44,022 --> 01:04:45,490 What's wrong with it? 1098 01:04:45,816 --> 01:04:47,284 Too much tail-pipe. 1099 01:04:47,609 --> 01:04:50,533 - Listen you, you lucky I'm pushing this death trap. 1100 01:04:50,862 --> 01:04:51,696 I don't play. 1101 01:04:51,697 --> 01:04:53,415 Goes on the air tomorrow night. 1102 01:04:54,783 --> 01:04:58,208 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba 1103 01:04:58,537 --> 01:05:01,290 ♪ Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-baa 1104 01:05:07,004 --> 01:05:08,426 What the hell are you doing? 1105 01:05:08,755 --> 01:05:10,131 Making a delivery. 1106 01:05:10,132 --> 01:05:11,424 Well make it down the stairs 1107 01:05:11,425 --> 01:05:13,348 and come back up the freight elevator. 1108 01:05:13,677 --> 01:05:14,885 It's 36 flights. 1109 01:05:14,886 --> 01:05:16,388 I don't care what it is. 1110 01:05:16,722 --> 01:05:18,264 - Why do I have to take the freight elevator? 1111 01:05:18,265 --> 01:05:19,348 I'm not a package. 1112 01:05:19,349 --> 01:05:21,121 Because it's custom. 1113 01:05:22,728 --> 01:05:24,250 It's policy. 1114 01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:36,541 ♪ We'll see when I see who's seeing you 1115 01:05:38,201 --> 01:05:42,081 ♪ Oh oh oh what you'll see when I see who's seeing you 1116 01:05:44,875 --> 01:05:47,469 ♪ Oh, oh oh oh 1117 01:05:51,089 --> 01:05:52,841 Love you, Walter. 1118 01:05:53,175 --> 01:05:55,724 I love you more than anything else in the world. 1119 01:05:56,053 --> 01:05:57,430 - I'll see you later. 1120 01:05:57,763 --> 01:05:59,185 I love you, Walter. 1121 01:06:00,807 --> 01:06:02,016 - I love you too, Mother. 1122 01:06:02,017 --> 01:06:03,517 - You know you're not supposed to serve food 1123 01:06:03,518 --> 01:06:05,102 without something on your head. 1124 01:06:05,103 --> 01:06:07,071 I don't want your hair in my food. 1125 01:06:07,397 --> 01:06:09,900 I told you a hundred times. 1126 01:06:10,233 --> 01:06:11,025 All right. 1127 01:06:11,026 --> 01:06:12,651 Get in the kitchen. 1128 01:06:12,652 --> 01:06:16,577 - I'm sorry, this is such a... 1129 01:06:19,701 --> 01:06:22,204 - Honey, I'm sorry about this sandwich. 1130 01:06:22,537 --> 01:06:25,381 That tile man's got the kitchen so stacked high with tiles, 1131 01:06:25,707 --> 01:06:27,399 cook can't cook anything. 1132 01:06:28,043 --> 01:06:29,511 I'd send the damn tiles back, 1133 01:06:29,836 --> 01:06:31,463 but you know we're having a dinner party on Friday. 1134 01:06:31,797 --> 01:06:33,765 - How do you like working for Mr. Swope? 1135 01:06:34,091 --> 01:06:37,686 - Oh you see, it's terribly difficult 1136 01:06:38,011 --> 01:06:39,178 to run such a big house, 1137 01:06:39,179 --> 01:06:42,103 but then, I really do think 1138 01:06:42,432 --> 01:06:45,777 it's important this house is run well. 1139 01:06:46,103 --> 01:06:48,731 And I'm not like, washing windows here. 1140 01:06:49,064 --> 01:06:53,820 I'm sort of secretary in a very old-fashioned way. 1141 01:07:01,451 --> 01:07:02,868 - Mr. Swope, do you think your approach 1142 01:07:02,869 --> 01:07:04,411 to advertising will encourage young people 1143 01:07:04,412 --> 01:07:05,830 to go into advertising? 1144 01:07:05,831 --> 01:07:06,956 I hope not. 1145 01:07:06,957 --> 01:07:07,998 - Well, do you conceive your creations 1146 01:07:07,999 --> 01:07:09,592 under the influence of drugs? 1147 01:07:09,918 --> 01:07:11,670 - Hey Swope, whaddaya think of the Panthers? 1148 01:07:12,003 --> 01:07:13,546 - They look good against the Bulldogs, 1149 01:07:13,547 --> 01:07:15,299 but they need more depth at quarterback. 1150 01:07:15,632 --> 01:07:16,975 - Last night between eight and 10 o'clock, 1151 01:07:17,300 --> 01:07:19,428 only 14% of the usual amount of people, 1152 01:07:19,761 --> 01:07:21,559 left the house to buy newspapers and ice cream. 1153 01:07:21,888 --> 01:07:23,180 Uh huh huh. 1154 01:07:23,181 --> 01:07:24,524 - In essence, your commercials were so good 1155 01:07:24,850 --> 01:07:26,727 that nobody left the house to buy anything or burn anything. 1156 01:07:27,060 --> 01:07:28,686 Uh would you comment on that? 1157 01:07:28,687 --> 01:07:31,156 - I think anything I would say would just be redundant. 1158 01:07:31,481 --> 01:07:33,700 - Mr. Swope, where have you been all these years? 1159 01:07:34,025 --> 01:07:35,025 Laying in the cut. 1160 01:07:35,026 --> 01:07:36,402 - Mr. Putney, did you sleep 1161 01:07:36,403 --> 01:07:37,825 with your wife before you married her'? 1162 01:07:38,155 --> 01:07:39,446 Not a wink. 1163 01:07:39,447 --> 01:07:40,739 - What is your position 1164 01:07:40,740 --> 01:07:42,116 on the checkerboard of life? 1165 01:07:42,117 --> 01:07:43,494 - Is it true, do you refuse to advertise 1166 01:07:43,827 --> 01:07:45,545 war toys, cigarettes and alcoholic beverages? 1167 01:07:45,871 --> 01:07:47,496 You said it. 1168 01:07:47,497 --> 01:07:48,789 - Where did you get the name Truth and Soul? 1169 01:07:48,790 --> 01:07:50,040 In the streets. 1170 01:07:50,041 --> 01:07:51,458 - Excuse me, Mr. Swopes. 1171 01:07:51,459 --> 01:07:52,877 Gourmet magazine says your commercials are tasteless 1172 01:07:52,878 --> 01:07:54,551 and that you should be censored. 1173 01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:57,724 Now my question is, in what direction are you heading? 1174 01:07:58,049 --> 01:07:58,924 I'm goin' uptown. 1175 01:07:58,925 --> 01:08:00,268 Can I give anybody a lift? 1176 01:08:01,678 --> 01:08:03,021 Get off of my short, baby! 1177 01:08:03,346 --> 01:08:04,788 One more question! 1178 01:08:12,147 --> 01:08:13,490 You little bitch! 1179 01:08:13,815 --> 01:08:14,982 What are you doing out here? 1180 01:08:14,983 --> 01:08:17,031 Get your ass in that house immediately. 1181 01:08:17,360 --> 01:08:18,506 Go on, move. 1182 01:08:19,279 --> 01:08:20,747 What do you think I have you for anyway? 1183 01:08:21,072 --> 01:08:22,448 Come on! 1184 01:08:22,449 --> 01:08:25,419 Get in there you motherfucker, get in! 1185 01:08:28,538 --> 01:08:31,633 - I believe Mr. Swope asked you to use the freight elevator. 1186 01:08:31,958 --> 01:08:33,250 - Since when is that your business? 1187 01:08:33,251 --> 01:08:34,477 Since right now. 1188 01:08:35,170 --> 01:08:36,754 And if I catch you using that elevator again, 1189 01:08:36,755 --> 01:08:38,257 I'm gonna tell Mr. Swope. 1190 01:08:39,925 --> 01:08:43,555 ♪ What's best for me 1191 01:08:43,887 --> 01:08:47,858 ♪ Mother knows what's best for me 1192 01:09:01,071 --> 01:09:02,112 Is that Mr. Swope? 1193 01:09:02,113 --> 01:09:03,113 That's him, baby. 1194 01:09:03,114 --> 01:09:04,260 " Oh! 1195 01:09:07,744 --> 01:09:08,661 Mr. Swope? 1196 01:09:08,662 --> 01:09:09,578 Putney. 1197 01:09:09,579 --> 01:09:11,957 Putney, Sonny Williams again. 1198 01:09:12,290 --> 01:09:14,509 He was a guest on Dating Game and when he didn't win, 1199 01:09:14,834 --> 01:09:16,882 he stood up and exposed himself again. 1200 01:09:17,212 --> 01:09:19,340 CBS went off the air for seven hours. 1201 01:09:20,674 --> 01:09:22,446 - Bail him out and get him in here. 1202 01:09:23,134 --> 01:09:25,808 - Oh Mr. Swope, I'm Sister Basilica 1203 01:09:26,137 --> 01:09:28,060 and this here is Billy Reilly. 1204 01:09:28,390 --> 01:09:31,485 Billy's an orphan and he wants to be your pal. 1205 01:09:31,810 --> 01:09:34,188 Now, if you want to be Billy's pal all you have to do 1206 01:09:34,521 --> 01:09:36,068 is fill out the necessary papers 1207 01:09:36,398 --> 01:09:38,776 and take him out of the settlement once a week. 1208 01:09:39,109 --> 01:09:40,907 Oh you know, you can take him out to lunch, 1209 01:09:41,236 --> 01:09:42,653 or take him for a ride- 1210 01:09:42,654 --> 01:09:43,988 You're taking me for a ride. 1211 01:09:43,989 --> 01:09:45,761 Oh be a pal! 1212 01:09:47,117 --> 01:09:48,617 Shouldn't you be at school? 1213 01:09:48,618 --> 01:09:51,371 - Fuck you and fuck the establishment. 1214 01:09:51,705 --> 01:09:53,332 And fuck you people who are trying 1215 01:09:53,665 --> 01:09:56,214 to make me part of the unestablished establishment. 1216 01:09:56,543 --> 01:09:58,511 - All right, I'll pick you up tomorrow at 11 o'clock. 1217 01:09:58,837 --> 01:10:01,556 I'll take you to the zoo, then we'll go to the ball game. 1218 01:10:01,881 --> 01:10:04,054 - Why don't you just adopt me and get it over with? 1219 01:10:04,384 --> 01:10:05,806 Don't push me, pal. 1220 01:10:06,136 --> 01:10:08,138 - Whatever you decide, don't do it out of guilt. 1221 01:10:13,143 --> 01:10:14,289 Oh Bless you! 1222 01:10:15,979 --> 01:10:17,731 If this stiff comes through we have it made. 1223 01:10:18,064 --> 01:10:19,460 Come on. 1224 01:10:21,735 --> 01:10:25,581 - Brother, you were voted in here on a jive hummer. 1225 01:10:25,905 --> 01:10:29,785 Now how, when, are things gonna happen, man? 1226 01:10:30,118 --> 01:10:32,291 Your whole cart has been peeped. 1227 01:10:32,620 --> 01:10:34,204 When are thing gonna start to change? 1228 01:10:34,205 --> 01:10:36,253 Where's the revolution you were talking about? 1229 01:10:36,583 --> 01:10:39,928 There ain't nothing happening, there is no revolution 1230 01:10:40,253 --> 01:10:42,631 the way you're running this joint, man. 1231 01:10:42,964 --> 01:10:44,682 Now, when is something gonna happen? 1232 01:10:45,008 --> 01:10:45,966 When are you gonna do it? 1233 01:10:45,967 --> 01:10:47,593 When and how, what day? 1234 01:10:47,594 --> 01:10:49,141 Gimmie a time, man. 1235 01:10:49,471 --> 01:10:52,315 Show me how progress is gonna be made. 1236 01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:54,266 There ain't no progress the way this is running now. 1237 01:10:54,267 --> 01:10:56,065 - Putney, this is Sonny Williams. 1238 01:10:59,022 --> 01:11:00,990 - Whadddya got to say for yourself, Sonny? 1239 01:11:11,117 --> 01:11:12,710 Don't feel bad, it's okay. 1240 01:11:20,752 --> 01:11:22,023 Come on. 1241 01:11:26,925 --> 01:11:29,929 - Now there's a man who is doing something. 1242 01:11:30,261 --> 01:11:33,140 That is a revolution, man, don't you understand? 1243 01:11:33,473 --> 01:11:35,099 When are you gonna start? 1244 01:11:35,100 --> 01:11:36,602 When are you gonna do something? 1245 01:11:46,319 --> 01:11:48,321 - Putney, the President of the United States wants 1246 01:11:48,655 --> 01:11:49,947 to see you in three hours. 1247 01:11:49,948 --> 01:11:51,323 He says he'll meet you halfway 1248 01:11:51,324 --> 01:11:52,667 so it's all set for Philadelphia. 1249 01:11:52,992 --> 01:11:53,909 Mr. Swope? 1250 01:11:53,910 --> 01:11:55,306 Mark Focus. 1251 01:11:57,956 --> 01:12:00,880 I did this for Hertz, that's Colgate, 1252 01:12:01,209 --> 01:12:02,731 that's Nabisco, that's IBM. 1253 01:12:04,087 --> 01:12:05,430 Did this for Mr. Swope. 1254 01:12:06,631 --> 01:12:08,178 That's Rockefeller. 1255 01:12:08,508 --> 01:12:09,885 That's Rockefeller. 1256 01:12:10,218 --> 01:12:11,561 - What are you gonna do for me? 1257 01:12:11,886 --> 01:12:14,059 What are you, nuts? 1258 01:12:17,016 --> 01:12:18,734 - We made it, Put, it's phenomenal. 1259 01:12:19,060 --> 01:12:21,438 We've thrown a tremendous hump into the cooling industry. 1260 01:12:21,771 --> 01:12:23,318 - Who told you to open your mouth? 1261 01:12:23,648 --> 01:12:25,776 - No one, it just happened. 1262 01:12:26,109 --> 01:12:27,234 All right. 1263 01:12:27,235 --> 01:12:28,861 I created Face Off. 1264 01:12:28,862 --> 01:12:31,957 I conceived the Borman Six and don't forget the mousetrap. 1265 01:12:32,282 --> 01:12:33,659 The rest of you people took old ideas 1266 01:12:33,992 --> 01:12:35,619 and broken down concepts and embellished them 1267 01:12:35,952 --> 01:12:37,670 with a sense of show business. 1268 01:12:37,996 --> 01:12:39,329 But that's not enough. 1269 01:12:39,330 --> 01:12:40,873 When I see things that ain't fresh, 1270 01:12:40,874 --> 01:12:42,501 I get butterflies in my ulcer. 1271 01:12:42,834 --> 01:12:44,293 So from now on, you got to come up 1272 01:12:44,294 --> 01:12:46,171 with completely original fantasies. 1273 01:12:46,504 --> 01:12:47,926 Stop looking at the tube. 1274 01:12:48,256 --> 01:12:49,974 Stop reading magazines and newspapers, 1275 01:12:50,300 --> 01:12:51,847 and don't talk to strangers. 1276 01:12:52,177 --> 01:12:52,926 And don't- 1277 01:12:52,927 --> 01:12:54,470 Mr. Swope? 1278 01:12:54,471 --> 01:12:55,814 Get on the freight elevator. 1279 01:14:07,252 --> 01:14:09,050 Get rid of him. 1280 01:14:09,379 --> 01:14:11,302 - What do want me to do with him? 1281 01:14:11,631 --> 01:14:13,599 - Get him a gig with the President. 1282 01:14:38,741 --> 01:14:40,117 First day on the job 1283 01:14:40,118 --> 01:14:41,870 and you get to meet President Mimeo. 1284 01:14:42,203 --> 01:14:43,546 I'll take him off. 1285 01:16:00,615 --> 01:16:03,289 - How do you like my demonstrators, Swope? 1286 01:16:03,618 --> 01:16:05,118 I put them in front of your building, 1287 01:16:05,119 --> 01:16:06,541 'cause you won't advertise cigarettes, 1288 01:16:06,871 --> 01:16:09,044 war toys, and alcoholic beverages. 1289 01:16:09,374 --> 01:16:11,217 And that's discrimination. 1290 01:16:11,542 --> 01:16:15,012 I also hear you flipped over the Borman Six. 1291 01:16:15,338 --> 01:16:16,713 Bum trip Swope. 1292 01:16:16,714 --> 01:16:18,933 If you keep discriminating against those products, 1293 01:16:19,258 --> 01:16:21,056 I'm gonna keep up the demonstration. 1294 01:16:21,386 --> 01:16:22,979 It's a small world, Swope. 1295 01:16:23,304 --> 01:16:24,496 Don't cross me. 1296 01:16:27,767 --> 01:16:29,144 Let's move out. 1297 01:16:29,477 --> 01:16:30,602 Say please. 1298 01:16:30,603 --> 01:16:32,150 I said move out! 1299 01:16:37,318 --> 01:16:39,696 Back to welfare, Trigger. 1300 01:16:40,029 --> 01:16:41,630 Okay, move out. 1301 01:16:42,907 --> 01:16:44,625 - Rent yourself a short, schmuck! 1302 01:17:08,015 --> 01:17:09,433 " Hin! 1303 01:17:09,434 --> 01:17:11,027 My word, Hing! 1304 01:17:11,352 --> 01:17:14,196 Maybe Hingleberry or Hingsaurio. 1305 01:17:14,522 --> 01:17:15,439 Hing spells nothing, 1306 01:17:15,440 --> 01:17:17,283 begins nothing possible unto Webster. 1307 01:17:17,608 --> 01:17:20,157 It is my very, very own Hing! 1308 01:17:20,486 --> 01:17:22,079 Hing in the teeth of the wind, 1309 01:17:22,405 --> 01:17:24,407 and in the faces of governments and men. 1310 01:17:24,741 --> 01:17:26,074 Hing! 1311 01:17:26,075 --> 01:17:28,419 Hing uninvited, hing unexcited, 1312 01:17:29,537 --> 01:17:31,414 Hing retiring into his own Hinghood! 1313 01:17:31,748 --> 01:17:34,922 I built a wooden Hing once and fooled no one. 1314 01:17:35,251 --> 01:17:38,255 I painted Hing in oils and ran out of canvas. 1315 01:17:38,588 --> 01:17:41,137 But I shall follow wherever Hing lead, 1316 01:17:41,466 --> 01:17:44,436 till Hing vanish into darkness. 1317 01:17:49,390 --> 01:17:50,733 My word, Hing! 1318 01:17:51,058 --> 01:17:52,685 - Get everybody into the conference room. 1319 01:17:53,019 --> 01:17:54,269 Got it. 1320 01:17:54,270 --> 01:17:55,336 Hing! 1321 01:17:56,981 --> 01:17:58,565 Put that out. 1322 01:17:58,566 --> 01:18:00,568 - Lunger cigarettes Swope, whaddaya say? 1323 01:18:00,902 --> 01:18:02,068 Daly War Toys. 1324 01:18:02,069 --> 01:18:03,695 We just came out with a new game 1325 01:18:03,696 --> 01:18:06,119 called Cops and Demonstrators. 1326 01:18:06,449 --> 01:18:07,616 Bull Connor Bourbon. 1327 01:18:07,617 --> 01:18:08,994 You name the price, Swope. 1328 01:18:09,327 --> 01:18:11,045 - Lunger cigarettes, Swope, what do you say? 1329 01:18:11,370 --> 01:18:12,454 Ethereal Cereal. 1330 01:18:12,455 --> 01:18:14,181 You saved me. 1331 01:18:28,054 --> 01:18:29,513 Fill this up. 1332 01:18:29,514 --> 01:18:31,366 Right. 1333 01:19:04,632 --> 01:19:06,225 - I want everybody to drop whatever they're doing, 1334 01:19:06,551 --> 01:19:07,801 and start thinking up ideas 1335 01:19:07,802 --> 01:19:11,022 for Bull Connor Bourbon, Lunger cigarettes 1336 01:19:11,347 --> 01:19:14,021 and a new game called Cops and Demonstrators. 1337 01:19:14,350 --> 01:19:15,852 - I thought you said we wasn't gonna advertise 1338 01:19:16,185 --> 01:19:17,602 that kind of stuff. 1339 01:19:17,603 --> 01:19:18,980 I changed my mind. 1340 01:19:19,313 --> 01:19:21,657 - I thought only women changed their mind. 1341 01:19:21,983 --> 01:19:23,576 The man's copping out. 1342 01:19:23,901 --> 01:19:24,860 What you say? 1343 01:19:24,861 --> 01:19:26,408 I said you're a cop-out. 1344 01:19:26,737 --> 01:19:28,205 Get out of here! 1345 01:19:28,531 --> 01:19:30,053 And don't come back either. 1346 01:19:30,700 --> 01:19:32,142 Shit. 1347 01:19:36,080 --> 01:19:37,539 You're a punk. 1348 01:19:37,540 --> 01:19:39,759 If you wasn't my brother, I'd kill you. 1349 01:19:41,836 --> 01:19:44,555 - I want these campaigns ready by five o'clock sharp. 1350 01:19:44,881 --> 01:19:46,258 - Are you sure you wanna do this? 1351 01:19:46,591 --> 01:19:48,067 I already done it. 1352 01:19:48,843 --> 01:19:50,436 What do you really wanna do? 1353 01:19:50,761 --> 01:19:52,559 Advertise garbage or do what's right? 1354 01:19:53,931 --> 01:19:55,202 Both. 1355 01:20:03,816 --> 01:20:05,317 The man's a genius. 1356 01:20:05,318 --> 01:20:06,651 Good people. 1357 01:20:06,652 --> 01:20:08,069 I tested them but they did not cop. 1358 01:20:08,070 --> 01:20:09,947 - You mean that whole scene was a put-on? 1359 01:20:10,281 --> 01:20:11,882 That's right. 1360 01:20:19,624 --> 01:20:21,501 - There's eight million and change here. 1361 01:20:21,834 --> 01:20:23,928 - Figure what's left and divide it up equally. 1362 01:20:24,253 --> 01:20:26,756 Forget the messengers and forget the Arab. 1363 01:20:27,089 --> 01:20:28,716 - Beautiful, baby, beautiful! 1364 01:20:30,343 --> 01:20:33,017 - Putney, if you wanna push cigarettes and booze, 1365 01:20:33,346 --> 01:20:34,763 it's all right with me. 1366 01:20:34,764 --> 01:20:35,805 That's right. 1367 01:20:35,806 --> 01:20:37,808 - Putney, I don't care what you advertise, 1368 01:20:38,142 --> 01:20:40,315 as long as I get my raise. 1369 01:20:40,645 --> 01:20:42,818 - Brother, if you wanna advertise crap, 1370 01:20:43,856 --> 01:20:45,548 that's your prerogative. 1371 01:20:45,900 --> 01:20:47,243 You're my man. 1372 01:20:47,568 --> 01:20:48,714 That's right. 1373 01:20:49,528 --> 01:20:50,737 I'm with you, Put. 1374 01:20:50,738 --> 01:20:53,457 Whatever the hell you wanna do, I'm with you. 1375 01:20:53,783 --> 01:20:55,408 You're a genius, Putney. 1376 01:20:55,409 --> 01:20:56,976 Do your thing. 1377 01:21:30,361 --> 01:21:33,581 - Putney, I hear you're splitting up the money equally. 1378 01:21:33,906 --> 01:21:35,448 That's good. 1379 01:21:35,449 --> 01:21:36,996 How did you find out? 1380 01:21:37,326 --> 01:21:38,910 The drum. 1381 01:21:38,911 --> 01:21:40,709 - The drum should have told you, you ain't getting a penny. 1382 01:21:41,038 --> 01:21:44,258 - If I don't get my piece by sundown, your ass is mine. 1383 01:22:00,850 --> 01:22:03,820 Hey, do you have my bread, brother? 1384 01:22:04,145 --> 01:22:06,864 - The man says you gets nothing, Arab. 1385 01:22:07,189 --> 01:22:08,523 What? 1386 01:22:08,524 --> 01:22:09,941 Man, you better get your story straight. 1387 01:22:09,942 --> 01:22:10,984 What you talking about? 1388 01:22:10,985 --> 01:22:13,829 The drum says equal shares for everybody. 1389 01:22:14,155 --> 01:22:15,780 And everybody means me. 1390 01:22:15,781 --> 01:22:17,158 Don't you understand, mister? 1391 01:22:17,491 --> 01:22:19,084 So come out your dream world 1392 01:22:19,410 --> 01:22:21,287 and get your story straight, man. 1393 01:22:21,620 --> 01:22:23,121 Before I get hot here and I have 1394 01:22:23,122 --> 01:22:25,420 to tell my cousin Sirhan Saran Wrap. 1395 01:22:25,750 --> 01:22:29,380 - The man says you gets nothing. 1396 01:22:29,712 --> 01:22:31,555 You gets nothing. 1397 01:22:36,969 --> 01:22:41,065 - The man said I get nothing, then I gets nothing. 1398 01:22:44,727 --> 01:22:46,144 You got a light? 1399 01:22:46,145 --> 01:22:47,988 Right. 1400 01:22:52,151 --> 01:22:53,494 Bonzai! 1401 01:22:53,819 --> 01:22:54,920 Bonzai! 98371

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