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1
00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:33,531
- Gentlemen, I'd like you
to meet Dr. Alvin Weasely.
2
00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:36,572
Dr. Weasely is one
of the most respected
3
00:01:36,906 --> 00:01:38,658
motivational researchers
in the country.
4
00:01:40,618 --> 00:01:43,792
Harveys Beer has dropped 84%.
5
00:01:44,121 --> 00:01:47,045
So Dr. Weasely will tell
us how the American public
6
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really feels about beer.
7
00:01:49,293 --> 00:01:50,564
Dr. Weasely.
8
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- Beer is for men who
doubt their masculinity.
9
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:57,926
That's why it's so popular
10
00:01:57,927 --> 00:02:00,180
at sporting events
and poker games.
11
00:02:01,430 --> 00:02:04,058
On a superficial
level, a glass of beer
12
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:07,611
is a cool, soothing beverage.
13
00:02:07,937 --> 00:02:12,818
But in reality, a glass
of beer is pee pee dickey.
14
00:02:15,861 --> 00:02:17,028
That's it.
15
00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:18,175
Beautiful.
16
00:02:19,281 --> 00:02:20,552
Beautiful.
17
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,846
Beautiful.
18
00:02:23,994 --> 00:02:25,265
Beautiful.
19
00:02:25,955 --> 00:02:27,477
Beautiful.
20
00:02:28,666 --> 00:02:30,760
Pee pee dickey?
21
00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:32,168
We paid for that?
22
00:02:32,169 --> 00:02:35,139
28,000 and we got off easy.
23
00:02:35,464 --> 00:02:38,343
- The man made some very
perceptive statements.
24
00:02:38,676 --> 00:02:39,592
_ I got it!
25
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:42,221
Make it big with Harveys Beer.
26
00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:44,523
Big foam.
27
00:02:44,848 --> 00:02:46,495
You get a big bang out of it.
28
00:02:46,976 --> 00:02:48,944
Big, proud head.
29
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,772
It's big and it lasts long-
30
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:53,107
- You know, you're about as
subtle as an elephant in heat.
31
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,783
That's great!
32
00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:56,276
We'll show an elephant sipping
Harveys Beer at the circus.
33
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:57,652
It's obscene!
34
00:02:57,653 --> 00:02:59,655
Don't moralize, Elias.
35
00:02:59,989 --> 00:03:01,536
We're committed to Harveys Beer.
36
00:03:01,865 --> 00:03:03,408
I'm committed to myself.
37
00:03:03,409 --> 00:03:05,662
Harveys Beer is worst
beer on the market.
38
00:03:05,995 --> 00:03:07,370
It's a loser.
39
00:03:07,371 --> 00:03:08,162
Get rid of it.
40
00:03:08,163 --> 00:03:09,540
There are no losers.
41
00:03:09,873 --> 00:03:11,124
Every product has potential.
42
00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:12,125
It's a stiff.
43
00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:13,673
No, no don't say that.
44
00:03:14,003 --> 00:03:15,003
There's no such thing.
45
00:03:15,004 --> 00:03:16,045
You're a stiff.
46
00:03:16,046 --> 00:03:17,923
- I'll not tolerate
your self-indulgence.
47
00:03:18,257 --> 00:03:19,757
When your father comes in,
48
00:03:19,758 --> 00:03:21,259
I'm gonna tell him
exactly what you've said.
49
00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:22,603
- Just because you were
here when my old man
50
00:03:22,928 --> 00:03:24,262
started this agency, you know,
51
00:03:24,263 --> 00:03:25,765
that doesn't alter the facts.
52
00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:27,598
You've played so many
sides of the fence,
53
00:03:27,599 --> 00:03:29,058
you dunno where the
fence is anymore.
54
00:03:29,059 --> 00:03:30,606
I know my job!
55
00:03:30,936 --> 00:03:32,228
Oh, that's beautiful!
56
00:03:32,229 --> 00:03:33,688
- If it
weren't for your father,
57
00:03:33,689 --> 00:03:35,148
you'd be on welfare.
58
00:03:35,149 --> 00:03:37,743
60,000 a year and all you
can do is wreck the joint.
59
00:03:38,068 --> 00:03:39,360
He's right.
60
00:03:39,361 --> 00:03:40,988
He's not creative, but
he knows the rules.
61
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,238
And you gotta know the rules
62
00:03:42,239 --> 00:03:43,656
before you can break the rules.
63
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,751
- Right.
- There's no respect anymore.
64
00:03:46,076 --> 00:03:47,243
He's right, Nathan.
65
00:03:47,244 --> 00:03:49,246
You did your tango 30 years ago.
66
00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:50,726
Fascist!
67
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,834
Duck hunter loses his rifle,
68
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:57,172
walks seven miles to a
cathouse, knocks on the door.
69
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,973
The door opens, the madam
says, "Who sent you?“
70
00:04:01,425 --> 00:04:06,101
He says, "In the 40's, it was
Judy Canova and Victor Mature.
71
00:04:07,723 --> 00:04:11,193
"In the 50's, it was Christine
Jorgensen and James Dean.
72
00:04:12,478 --> 00:04:14,856
"In the 60's, it
was Smith & Wesson."
73
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,130
That's it.
74
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,927
He was a nice guy.
75
00:04:29,411 --> 00:04:30,958
Can you lend me five?
76
00:04:32,748 --> 00:04:34,842
- Our job is to
manipulate the consumer
77
00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:37,795
by arousing his desires
and then we satisfy
78
00:04:38,128 --> 00:04:40,506
those desires for a fixed price.
79
00:04:43,092 --> 00:04:44,217
Sounds familiar.
80
00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:45,676
It sounds familiar.
81
00:04:45,677 --> 00:04:48,055
It's called advertising.
82
00:04:52,768 --> 00:04:54,039
~ Yes?
83
00:04:57,106 --> 00:04:58,628
Thank you.
84
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:02,362
Elias Senior just went
through the lobby.
85
00:05:02,694 --> 00:05:04,341
Well, let's go!
86
00:05:05,614 --> 00:05:07,215
Let's go, Bissinger.
87
00:05:08,283 --> 00:05:12,459
- Our war toy account
is up 23% and a third.
88
00:05:12,788 --> 00:05:14,961
- Hey Bissinger, you
better get hip to reality.
89
00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:16,874
By advertising toy guns,
90
00:05:16,875 --> 00:05:18,752
you're encouraging
kids to enjoy violence.
91
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,963
- You're only Music
Director around here, Swope.
92
00:05:21,296 --> 00:05:23,048
What do you know about
the total spectrum?
93
00:05:23,382 --> 00:05:24,757
I know what I feel.
94
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,102
What's that got to do with it?
95
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:28,553
- I think we
should drop the account.
96
00:05:28,554 --> 00:05:29,976
How dare you!
97
00:05:30,305 --> 00:05:31,932
- Drop the account and
show the business community
98
00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:34,985
and the public that we're morally
and socially responsible.
99
00:05:35,310 --> 00:05:36,602
Groovy, let's do it.
100
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:37,946
Thank you.
101
00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:39,899
Putney, I've been supervising
102
00:05:40,232 --> 00:05:42,985
the war toy account
for 12 years.
103
00:05:44,194 --> 00:05:45,912
And let me tell you something.
104
00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:52,162
Deny a young boy the
right to have a toy gun,
105
00:05:53,495 --> 00:05:55,998
and you'll suppress
his destructive urges
106
00:05:56,331 --> 00:06:01,007
and he'll turn out to be
a homosexual or worse.
107
00:06:02,379 --> 00:06:03,801
- I'd rather have my son
be a fag than a killer.
108
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,849
Your son is a fag!
109
00:06:06,175 --> 00:06:08,303
- You took him on the
picnic hike, I didn't.
110
00:06:11,096 --> 00:06:14,316
- Last year at Malibu
only Jim was a fag.
111
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:17,269
Two weeks ago, Steve
and Ralph came over.
112
00:06:18,395 --> 00:06:20,693
Yesterday, Randy came over.
113
00:06:22,357 --> 00:06:23,753
There it is.
114
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,621
Defrocked priest is on the
road, it's three in the morning,
115
00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:33,497
he's got a flat tire
and it's raining.
116
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,453
So he goes up to this
farmhouse and says-
117
00:06:35,454 --> 00:06:36,956
- We're grossing less
than a million a day
118
00:06:37,289 --> 00:06:40,463
and you're talking about
flat tires and farmhouses?
119
00:06:42,878 --> 00:06:44,221
Get out of my life.
120
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,014
Good morning, Mario.
121
00:06:57,392 --> 00:06:58,893
Good afternoon, Mario.
122
00:06:58,894 --> 00:07:02,148
- Every consumer has a
small box in his head.
123
00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:05,030
Everyone has a s-s-s-s-soapbox,
124
00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:08,033
a b-breadbox, a-a-a cereal box,
125
00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:11,616
a sh-h-h-hampoo box.
126
00:07:11,949 --> 00:07:13,496
This box is the target
127
00:07:13,825 --> 00:07:17,455
of 46 billion dollars
a year in advertising.
128
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:22,801
Now, there's only so
much room in each box
129
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:29,092
and if we overload these boxes
with too much information,
130
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,052
they won't remember anything.
131
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,810
But, if we use
c- c-c-creative foreplay,
132
00:07:39,142 --> 00:07:41,736
Before we PENETRATE!
133
00:07:43,188 --> 00:07:47,864
We'll b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-
134
00:07:48,193 --> 00:07:48,985
Benefit?
135
00:07:48,986 --> 00:07:50,570
B- b-b-b-b-
136
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:51,487
Bypass?
137
00:07:51,488 --> 00:07:52,865
B- b-b-b-b-b-
138
00:07:53,198 --> 00:07:54,365
Looks like.
139
00:07:54,366 --> 00:07:55,449
B- b-b-b-b-
140
00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:56,617
Sounds like.
141
00:07:56,618 --> 00:07:57,535
B- b-b-b-b-
142
00:07:57,536 --> 00:07:58,703
How many syllables, Mario?
143
00:07:58,704 --> 00:08:00,037
B- b-b-b-
144
00:08:00,038 --> 00:08:01,247
How many syllables, Mario?
145
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,331
B- b-b-b-
146
00:08:02,332 --> 00:08:03,624
- How
many syllables, Mario?
147
00:08:03,625 --> 00:08:04,959
B- b-b-b-
148
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:05,876
- How
many syllables, Mario?
149
00:08:05,877 --> 00:08:06,669
B- b-b-b!
150
00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:08,217
Aaaarrgh!
151
00:08:14,678 --> 00:08:16,450
We'll never know.
152
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,394
I'm going to the track.
153
00:08:23,395 --> 00:08:24,791
Have a ball, baby.
154
00:08:38,035 --> 00:08:40,037
- What do you think
of those cuff links?
155
00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:42,338
- How
many syllables, Mario?
156
00:08:42,664 --> 00:08:44,758
How many syllables, Mario?
157
00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:47,085
How many syllables, Mario?
158
00:08:47,419 --> 00:08:49,217
How many syllables, Mario?
159
00:08:49,546 --> 00:08:52,140
How many syllables, Mario?
160
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:54,013
How many syllables, Mario?
161
00:08:54,343 --> 00:08:56,971
How many syllables, Mario?
162
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,272
How many syllables, Mario?
163
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,557
- I'm the
Senior Vice President,
164
00:09:01,558 --> 00:09:03,142
so I'm the new chairman of-
165
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,414
Bullshit.
166
00:09:11,735 --> 00:09:15,365
- The corporate bylaws make it
very clear that the only way
167
00:09:15,697 --> 00:09:19,247
we can determine a new chairman
is by democratic process.
168
00:09:24,915 --> 00:09:28,169
Paragraph 68 specifically states
169
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,220
that nobody can
vote for himself.
170
00:09:31,546 --> 00:09:34,516
That's what it says, so
that's where it's at.
171
00:09:39,513 --> 00:09:43,734
- Vote for me and I'll get you
into the Knights of Columbus.
172
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,354
- Vote for me and I'll give
you 10% of the business.
173
00:09:49,398 --> 00:09:51,071
25-.
174
00:09:52,651 --> 00:09:57,532
- Vote for me and I'll set you
up in Puerto Rico, for life.
175
00:09:58,782 --> 00:10:00,329
- I got Puerto Ricans
in my building.
176
00:10:01,910 --> 00:10:04,163
- Enough caucus, let's
get the votes in.
177
00:10:04,496 --> 00:10:06,464
- How can we talk about who's
gonna be Chairman of the Board
178
00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:08,667
when my father's laying
dead on the table?
179
00:10:10,502 --> 00:10:12,049
Why can't I be
Chairman of the Board?
180
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:13,879
- Because
you're a nitwit.
181
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,223
My father started this agency.
182
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,643
- And you're
not going to finish it.
183
00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:22,997
Thank you, Valerie.
184
00:10:39,197 --> 00:10:40,969
One for Elias.
185
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:46,972
Swope.
186
00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:51,938
One for Bissinger.
187
00:10:58,383 --> 00:10:59,575
Swope.
188
00:11:05,682 --> 00:11:07,150
Swope.
189
00:11:13,356 --> 00:11:14,627
Swope.
190
00:11:19,738 --> 00:11:21,009
Swope.
191
00:11:28,079 --> 00:11:29,350
Swope.
192
00:11:34,669 --> 00:11:35,940
Swope.
193
00:11:43,845 --> 00:11:45,071
Swope.
194
00:11:56,191 --> 00:11:57,417
Swope.
195
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,379
That's it.
196
00:12:02,364 --> 00:12:06,210
One vote for Elias,
one vote for Bissinger,
197
00:12:06,535 --> 00:12:08,708
nine votes for Swope.
198
00:12:09,037 --> 00:12:10,621
Swope!
199
00:12:10,622 --> 00:12:12,670
You don't have to accept.
200
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,922
It's a terrible job!
201
00:12:15,252 --> 00:12:17,129
Don't take it, Swope!
202
00:12:17,462 --> 00:12:18,879
Take it easy, Nathan.
203
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,427
I've seen your cardiogram.
204
00:12:20,757 --> 00:12:21,903
It's a mirage!
205
00:12:22,634 --> 00:12:23,759
- The
man's been elected
206
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,261
and you voted for him.
207
00:12:25,262 --> 00:12:27,560
We all voted for him.
208
00:12:27,889 --> 00:12:31,063
Because we thought no one
else would vote for him.
209
00:12:32,435 --> 00:12:36,315
Putney Swope is the new
Chairman of this Board.
210
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,865
And I will defend that
mistake with my life.
211
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:47,243
Congratulations, Putney.
212
00:12:50,495 --> 00:12:53,840
- It's going to be a pleasure
working with you, Swope.
213
00:12:57,752 --> 00:13:02,508
- You're gonna make a great
chairman if you stay in line.
214
00:13:05,844 --> 00:13:07,721
- My father would've
wanted it this way.
215
00:13:09,472 --> 00:13:11,099
He dug you very much.
216
00:13:11,433 --> 00:13:13,811
Your father was a horse's ass.
217
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,986
- Yeah, but he
dug you very much.
218
00:13:36,124 --> 00:13:38,547
- The changes I'm going
to make will be minimal.
219
00:13:38,877 --> 00:13:40,379
I'm not gonna rock the boat.
220
00:13:40,712 --> 00:13:42,931
Rocking the boat's a drag.
221
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,429
What you do is sink the boat!
222
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:48,262
And there's no sense sinking
nothing, unless you can salvage
223
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,518
with productive
alternatives and brothers,
224
00:13:50,847 --> 00:13:53,566
you can't change nothing
with rhetoric and slogans
225
00:13:53,892 --> 00:13:56,771
because if a man's really
got the truth in his pocket,
226
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,729
he doesn't talk about it,
227
00:13:58,730 --> 00:14:01,108
he hangs it out on a shingle
where people can see it.
228
00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:06,910
So from now on the name of
this agency is Truth and Soul.
229
00:14:07,697 --> 00:14:09,449
TS baby, that's right.
230
00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:12,180
Don't smoke it!
231
00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:19,792
Nathan, you were
a good businessman
232
00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:22,922
and you're not a cop-out, so
I'm going to let you stay.
233
00:14:23,254 --> 00:14:25,882
- I wanna contract that
guarantees me an expense account,
234
00:14:26,216 --> 00:14:30,141
stock options, 22 weeks
vacation, a company car,
235
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,565
a box at Jay Stadium, a
percentage of the gross,
236
00:14:33,890 --> 00:14:36,643
total creative freedom,
transplant insurance
237
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,445
and a no-cut clause.
238
00:14:40,772 --> 00:14:43,491
Nathan, you're corrupt.
239
00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:44,963
Thank you.
240
00:14:45,735 --> 00:14:47,954
- I've come all the
way from Miles City
241
00:14:48,279 --> 00:14:49,952
to ask you to be my woman.
242
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:55,162
- It must be my new
depilatory, Superlip.
243
00:14:56,579 --> 00:14:59,458
Superlip eliminates peach
fuzz and feminine whiskers.
244
00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:02,590
Superlip digs deep down
into the hair follicle,
245
00:15:02,919 --> 00:15:05,593
instead of just lopping
it off at the surface.
246
00:15:05,922 --> 00:15:08,513
Cut!
247
00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:10,238
Cut.
248
00:15:12,637 --> 00:15:14,159
I don't believe it.
249
00:15:14,639 --> 00:15:16,161
Again.
250
00:15:20,603 --> 00:15:21,895
There's a bunch of lilies
251
00:15:21,896 --> 00:15:23,489
shooting a commercial
in our studio.
252
00:15:23,815 --> 00:15:25,408
They must not know about
the recent transition.
253
00:15:25,734 --> 00:15:27,657
- Well, let's go take
care of business.
254
00:15:31,239 --> 00:15:32,786
This chick's from nowhere.
255
00:15:33,116 --> 00:15:34,709
So it's up to you.
256
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,458
Improvise, do something.
257
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:41,504
I've seen you work at Jones
Beach with Guy Lombardo.
258
00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:43,210
I know you can pull it off.
259
00:15:44,502 --> 00:15:46,095
Superlip, shot one.
260
00:15:46,421 --> 00:15:48,193
Take 107.
261
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:50,174
Action.
262
00:15:50,175 --> 00:15:52,553
Action!
263
00:15:53,928 --> 00:15:57,398
- Lady Beaver, I've come
all the way from Biloxi
264
00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,068
to ask you to be my woman.
265
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:03,943
Wayne, you do go on.
266
00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:11,454
♪ I have a malignancy
in my prostrate
267
00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:16,502
♪ But when you're in
my arms it's benign
268
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,621
I don't feel it.
269
00:16:21,664 --> 00:16:22,956
What did you say?
270
00:16:22,957 --> 00:16:24,925
I am not going to say it.
271
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:26,594
It is stupid.
272
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,295
Cut.
273
00:16:28,296 --> 00:16:31,470
Listen sweetie, I could
be home writing my novel.
274
00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:35,725
You could be playing Lady
Macbeth in some basement.
275
00:16:36,721 --> 00:16:38,413
We're both here, aren't we?
276
00:16:39,349 --> 00:16:40,692
That's okay.
277
00:16:41,017 --> 00:16:41,934
Let's do it.
278
00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:43,161
Let's do it!
279
00:17:07,836 --> 00:17:10,715
♪ I have a malignancy
in my prostrate
280
00:17:11,047 --> 00:17:12,381
♪ But when you're
in my arms it's
281
00:17:12,382 --> 00:17:14,154
Quittin' time!
282
00:17:15,885 --> 00:17:17,261
Get on out!
283
00:17:17,262 --> 00:17:20,106
Yeah, no more taking
pictures of no jive cans
284
00:17:20,431 --> 00:17:22,775
and jive bottles, and
skinny-legged broads
285
00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:23,976
with stockings on 'em.
286
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,602
Get on out of here!
287
00:17:25,603 --> 00:17:27,822
We're gonna have some greasy
fingers and some chicken,
288
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:31,197
and all the beautiful things
that people have who have it
289
00:17:31,526 --> 00:17:32,943
and you ain't got it.
290
00:17:32,944 --> 00:17:34,662
So get on out you understand?
291
00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:36,581
We're not gonna take
any more of your jive.
292
00:17:36,906 --> 00:17:40,206
'Cause we're Truth and
Soul, you understand?
293
00:17:40,535 --> 00:17:42,754
Truth and Soul, 'cause we got it
294
00:17:43,079 --> 00:17:45,332
and we got a brother
that's gonna make it right.
295
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,040
We got brother Putney.
296
00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:48,437
Okay-
297
00:17:49,377 --> 00:17:50,970
Every single account pulled out.
298
00:17:51,296 --> 00:17:52,629
I wish I'd have pulled out.
299
00:17:52,630 --> 00:17:53,964
Too many dependents, baby.
300
00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:55,507
It looks bad.
301
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:58,057
- Swope, I think we're
still in the ball game.
302
00:17:58,386 --> 00:17:59,808
Wing Soney just got
off the elevator
303
00:18:00,138 --> 00:18:00,971
and he's dying to meet you.
304
00:18:00,972 --> 00:18:02,347
Wing Soney?
305
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,140
Wing Soney.
306
00:18:03,141 --> 00:18:04,287
Wowee.
307
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:26,669
Hey man, what's his thing?
308
00:18:26,998 --> 00:18:28,341
Do-it-yourself Pearl Harbor?
309
00:18:28,666 --> 00:18:30,042
He's Chinese, Swope.
310
00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:30,959
I don't care what he is.
311
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,252
We're gonna get that account.
312
00:18:32,253 --> 00:18:33,649
Let's go.
313
00:18:36,966 --> 00:18:40,687
Wing Soney, say hello
to Putney Swope.
314
00:18:41,012 --> 00:18:44,642
- Mr. Swope, I'm
not a happy chappy.
315
00:18:44,974 --> 00:18:47,648
The agency that's currently
handling my merchandise,
316
00:18:47,977 --> 00:18:50,071
is the biggest
nosebleed in town.
317
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,490
Now, I have a new item
318
00:18:52,815 --> 00:18:55,284
and I dig to launch
it with a new outfit.
319
00:18:55,610 --> 00:18:58,033
So let me tell you about the
Get Out of Here Mousetrap.
320
00:18:59,656 --> 00:19:03,001
The Get Out of Here Mousetrap
is a unique breakthrough,
321
00:19:03,326 --> 00:19:06,455
because after it traps a
rodent, it chemically cremates.
322
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:10,883
No flame, no noise, no mouse.
323
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:12,711
I invented it myself.
324
00:19:13,044 --> 00:19:14,419
- Mr. Soney, you're
not gonna believe this, but-
325
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:15,921
Then don't tell me.
326
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,005
- For the past six
minutes I've been working
327
00:19:17,006 --> 00:19:19,179
on a whole new
approach to mousetraps.
328
00:19:20,343 --> 00:19:21,990
Lay it on them, Nathan.
329
00:19:26,516 --> 00:19:30,441
- Columbus is on the Santa
Maria; the crew's Italian.
330
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,647
Columbus walks
down the gangplank
331
00:19:32,981 --> 00:19:35,234
and waiting at the bottom
is a middle-aged Indian.
332
00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:38,695
Columbus knocks the
Indian on his ass
333
00:19:39,028 --> 00:19:40,951
and sticks the Spanish
flag in the ground.
334
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:44,410
And out of the bushes
comes a 75-year-old squaw
335
00:19:44,742 --> 00:19:47,165
with a cleft head and
an ax in her back.
336
00:19:47,495 --> 00:19:48,996
But the Indian starts to cry,
337
00:19:48,997 --> 00:19:51,591
because he knows he's
going to be exploited.
338
00:19:51,916 --> 00:19:54,590
Columbus puts his arm around
the Indian, points to the crew
339
00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:56,592
and says, "In exchange
for your land,
340
00:19:56,921 --> 00:19:58,505
"I'll give you 50 guineas."
341
00:19:58,506 --> 00:20:00,804
Cut to a shot of a Get
Out of Here Mousetrap,
342
00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:04,559
tell him how much it costs,
where you buy it, and that's it.
343
00:20:04,887 --> 00:20:06,935
- It's a most fantastic
thing I ever heard.
344
00:20:08,057 --> 00:20:09,533
Who's your shrink?
345
00:20:11,853 --> 00:20:13,124
I dig n.
346
00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:16,398
I dig n.
347
00:20:16,399 --> 00:20:18,618
My mousetrap is yours.
348
00:20:18,943 --> 00:20:21,446
You've revitalized me, Swope.
349
00:20:21,779 --> 00:20:22,880
Let's split.
350
00:20:26,075 --> 00:20:27,801
I'm a happy chink.
351
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,122
We did it, Swope.
352
00:20:32,123 --> 00:20:33,269
We did it!
353
00:20:34,042 --> 00:20:35,208
You're fired.
354
00:20:35,209 --> 00:20:36,552
Why?
355
00:20:36,878 --> 00:20:39,381
- That Columbus thing is the
worst thing I ever heard.
356
00:20:39,714 --> 00:20:41,091
I thought it was brilliant.
357
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:44,476
- That's why you takin'
the next elevator.
358
00:20:50,933 --> 00:20:52,434
Hey, you a messenger for TS?
359
00:20:52,435 --> 00:20:53,727
Yes, sir.
360
00:20:53,728 --> 00:20:55,228
- From now on, use
the freight elevator.
361
00:20:55,229 --> 00:20:56,330
Yes, sir.
362
00:21:02,612 --> 00:21:04,785
- I just heard about the
Get Out of Here campaign.
363
00:21:05,114 --> 00:21:07,162
It's a trailblazer, Swope.
364
00:21:07,492 --> 00:21:10,166
- Your mouse trap
conception is a masterpiece.
365
00:21:10,495 --> 00:21:12,964
Why, it's already a classic.
366
00:21:13,289 --> 00:21:16,589
- As far as I'm
concerned, you're my man.
367
00:21:16,918 --> 00:21:18,636
- I would like to
discuss the possibility
368
00:21:18,961 --> 00:21:20,295
of you handling my account.
369
00:21:20,296 --> 00:21:21,522
Would you?
370
00:21:22,298 --> 00:21:23,800
- I'm with the Audie
Murphy Toy Company.
371
00:21:24,133 --> 00:21:25,851
We just came out with a
Junior Miss Flamethrower,
372
00:21:26,177 --> 00:21:27,850
that runs on ordinary
lighter fluid,
373
00:21:28,179 --> 00:21:30,307
and next week, we're coming
out with a heavy-duty model,
374
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,224
for the back-to-college group
375
00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:35,024
that features an after-burner
and five-second reloading,
376
00:21:35,353 --> 00:21:37,731
with disposable
propane cassettes.
377
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:40,317
- I wanna have nothing to do
with war toys or cigarettes,
378
00:21:40,650 --> 00:21:42,493
and do something
about your breath.
379
00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:45,737
Tell me what you like.
380
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:47,114
I'll go out and make it.
381
00:21:47,115 --> 00:21:48,698
I'll produce it, you push it.
382
00:21:48,699 --> 00:21:50,075
You and me, Swope.
383
00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:51,453
- If you stiffs want TS
to do your advertising,
384
00:21:51,786 --> 00:21:54,881
it's gonna cost you a
million bucks up front, cash.
385
00:21:55,206 --> 00:21:56,924
That's hallway robbery, Swope.
386
00:21:57,250 --> 00:21:58,593
That's an outrage!
387
00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:00,460
The price is right,
388
00:22:00,461 --> 00:22:02,634
but I can't come up with
a million bucks in cash.
389
00:22:02,964 --> 00:22:04,440
Me neither.
390
00:22:06,843 --> 00:22:08,365
Forget it, baby.
391
00:22:12,056 --> 00:22:13,774
- If your sales
don't increase by 50%
392
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:15,725
you'll get a complete refund.
393
00:22:15,726 --> 00:22:16,518
I'm in Swope.
394
00:22:16,519 --> 00:22:17,310
Me too.
395
00:22:17,311 --> 00:22:18,854
You and me Swope.
396
00:22:18,855 --> 00:22:20,903
- Don't forget
me, Pit Stop deodorant.
397
00:22:21,232 --> 00:22:23,701
Dinkleberry's chicken pot pies.
398
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,998
- Jim Keranga
of Watts, California
399
00:22:33,327 --> 00:22:35,830
is eating a bowl
of Ethereal Cereal,
400
00:22:36,164 --> 00:22:38,087
the heavenly breakfast food.
401
00:22:38,416 --> 00:22:41,010
Jim, did you know
that Ethereal Cereal
402
00:22:41,335 --> 00:22:42,837
has twice as much vitamin B
403
00:22:43,171 --> 00:22:45,424
as any other leading cereal?
404
00:22:45,756 --> 00:22:48,475
Ethereal also has
the added punch,
405
00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:52,305
of 0.02 ESP units of pectin.
406
00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:54,782
No shit!
407
00:23:08,237 --> 00:23:10,831
- Dinkleberry's
chicken pot pies.
408
00:23:11,157 --> 00:23:13,580
- Ground rules: Give
us the name of your product,
409
00:23:13,910 --> 00:23:15,878
what it's supposed to
do, then take a walk.
410
00:23:16,204 --> 00:23:17,704
We don't need your ideas.
411
00:23:17,705 --> 00:23:19,289
We don't need your advice.
412
00:23:19,290 --> 00:23:21,042
And we don't need
lames in the hallway.
413
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,071
Lucky Airlines.
414
00:24:27,525 --> 00:24:30,495
- Introducing Miss
Redneck, New Jersey,
415
00:24:30,820 --> 00:24:32,367
Eugenie Ferliger.
416
00:24:50,298 --> 00:24:52,346
Eugenie is 23.
417
00:24:52,675 --> 00:24:57,146
She's five foot four
and weighs 117 pounds.
418
00:24:57,471 --> 00:24:59,269
She has blue eyes
and blonde hair
419
00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:01,567
with matching cuffs and collar.
420
00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:06,690
Eugenie is a graduate of
the Sawbone T-bone Diner
421
00:25:07,023 --> 00:25:09,526
in Redneck, where she
majored in philosophy.
422
00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:12,652
She's a social worker
423
00:25:12,653 --> 00:25:15,247
and her favorite
hobby is emasculation.
424
00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:36,682
Eugenie, in 25 words or less,
425
00:25:37,011 --> 00:25:39,309
would you tell us what
your philosophy is?
426
00:25:41,849 --> 00:25:46,571
Well, I believe that everyone,
427
00:25:46,896 --> 00:25:49,240
no matter their race,
428
00:25:49,565 --> 00:25:53,945
creed or color, should
get a piece of the action.
429
00:25:55,071 --> 00:25:59,952
A piece of the what, Eugenie?
430
00:26:01,327 --> 00:26:02,749
A piece of the pie!
431
00:26:03,079 --> 00:26:04,726
Right!
432
00:26:08,250 --> 00:26:11,550
Confidentially folks, I never
thought she'd get that line.
433
00:26:12,838 --> 00:26:14,511
Oh fuck off, Bert!
434
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,638
- Everybody wants
a Dinkleberry Frozen Chicken
435
00:26:16,967 --> 00:26:19,015
Pot Pie and they'll
do anything to get it.
436
00:26:20,388 --> 00:26:21,910
Who did that?
437
00:26:24,850 --> 00:26:26,121
You do that?
438
00:26:31,607 --> 00:26:32,833
Yeah.
439
00:26:35,653 --> 00:26:37,075
I didn't do it!
440
00:26:37,405 --> 00:26:39,052
- Then what are you
doing, taking her temperature?
441
00:26:39,448 --> 00:26:40,824
Boss, don't fire me!
442
00:26:40,825 --> 00:26:43,169
I got a wife, three kids
and a Shetland pony.
443
00:26:43,494 --> 00:26:44,536
You should've thought of that
444
00:26:44,537 --> 00:26:46,756
before you dipped your
pen in company ink.
445
00:26:48,374 --> 00:26:50,217
- Oh man, gimmie a
break, I'm in love.
446
00:26:50,543 --> 00:26:52,001
- All right, you
get one more chance.
447
00:26:52,002 --> 00:26:53,649
But she's got to go.
448
00:26:54,171 --> 00:26:56,390
Whaddaya mean, I gotta go?
449
00:26:56,716 --> 00:26:58,007
That's right.
450
00:26:58,008 --> 00:26:59,551
Just 'cause you
got a pair of jugs
451
00:26:59,552 --> 00:27:00,844
don't mean you rule the world.
452
00:27:00,845 --> 00:27:01,991
That's right!
453
00:27:04,306 --> 00:27:05,598
Mr. Swope?
454
00:27:05,599 --> 00:27:07,272
- Clean
out your locker.
455
00:27:07,601 --> 00:27:08,747
' UP Yours.
456
00:27:11,313 --> 00:27:15,284
- Um hum, didn't mean to
put down your jugs baby,
457
00:27:15,609 --> 00:27:18,783
but gotta protect my interest.
458
00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:33,131
- Mark Focus is
waiting in reception.
459
00:27:33,461 --> 00:27:34,857
Thank you.
460
00:27:41,761 --> 00:27:43,386
Great window cleaner.
461
00:27:43,387 --> 00:27:45,014
Don't drip and it don't streak.
462
00:27:46,515 --> 00:27:48,188
But it smells bad.
463
00:27:48,517 --> 00:27:50,235
Cleans good, but it smells bad.
464
00:27:54,774 --> 00:27:57,197
- As a window
cleaner, forget it.
465
00:27:57,526 --> 00:27:59,073
Put soybeans in it for protein,
466
00:27:59,403 --> 00:28:02,122
and we'll push it as a
soft drink in the ghetto.
467
00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:04,246
Lay a picture of a rhythm
and blues singer on it
468
00:28:04,575 --> 00:28:06,202
and we'll call it Victrola Cola.
469
00:28:07,620 --> 00:28:09,463
I think we got a winner.
470
00:28:09,789 --> 00:28:11,289
We'd better.
471
00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:12,633
Or you and that jism
are gonna be back
472
00:28:12,958 --> 00:28:14,585
in that drugstore
where I found you.
473
00:28:21,717 --> 00:28:22,988
Yes sir.
474
00:28:26,055 --> 00:28:27,514
I'm okay.
475
00:28:27,515 --> 00:28:29,332
- If your lip was hip,
you wouldn't need no Jim.
476
00:28:29,850 --> 00:28:31,227
The rose that is.
477
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:32,894
How you son?
478
00:28:32,895 --> 00:28:34,772
- I dunno baby, but I'm
where I'm starting from.
479
00:28:35,105 --> 00:28:38,234
I'm stacked up and I'm
gonna stay stacked up.
480
00:28:38,567 --> 00:28:40,160
But I wanna know about
this Putney dude.
481
00:28:40,486 --> 00:28:42,363
And the faggot at
the taffy Department.
482
00:28:42,696 --> 00:28:43,905
Plus a blonde faggot
483
00:28:43,906 --> 00:28:45,532
in the taffy Department.
484
00:28:45,533 --> 00:28:46,950
Next time he bends over
and pick up the paperclips
485
00:28:46,951 --> 00:28:48,493
then I'm gonna sock it to
him right in his keister.
486
00:28:48,494 --> 00:28:49,577
Does he like dudes?
487
00:28:49,578 --> 00:28:52,081
- I dunno man, but he's
got a bossed around ass
488
00:28:52,414 --> 00:28:54,587
in them tight bell-bottom
pants, I know that.
489
00:28:54,917 --> 00:28:56,084
- Well,
if you're tripping
490
00:28:56,085 --> 00:28:57,585
and you're going that way.
491
00:28:57,586 --> 00:28:58,920
My johnson get hard, Jim.
492
00:28:58,921 --> 00:29:00,389
It knows no discrimination.
493
00:29:00,714 --> 00:29:02,340
- Yeah,
discrimination, huh?
494
00:29:02,341 --> 00:29:05,220
- No, my johnson
get hard, everything goes.
495
00:29:05,553 --> 00:29:07,055
- Jism is okay,
but you can can the trollops.
496
00:29:07,388 --> 00:29:08,304
Mr. Swope!
497
00:29:08,305 --> 00:29:09,747
Mark Focus.
498
00:29:14,103 --> 00:29:15,875
I did that for Hertz.
499
00:29:16,981 --> 00:29:18,298
That's Colgate.
500
00:29:18,983 --> 00:29:20,254
That's Nabisco.
501
00:29:21,110 --> 00:29:22,318
That's IBM.
502
00:29:22,319 --> 00:29:23,862
I seen enough, Mark.
503
00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:26,332
You're one of the best
photographers in the business.
504
00:29:26,657 --> 00:29:28,199
Thank you.
505
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,373
- This printout I'm working
on is perfect for you.
506
00:29:30,703 --> 00:29:32,245
If it's me, it's 9,000.
507
00:29:32,246 --> 00:29:33,788
9,000?
508
00:29:33,789 --> 00:29:36,042
I just want a picture of a
light bulb with lipstick on it.
509
00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:38,001
Make it six.
510
00:29:38,002 --> 00:29:40,721
- Hey man, it's going in a
newspaper, not an art gallery.
511
00:29:41,046 --> 00:29:42,672
1,200 is the best I can do.
512
00:29:42,673 --> 00:29:44,215
Forget it.
513
00:29:44,216 --> 00:29:45,317
350.
514
00:29:47,845 --> 00:29:49,722
I'll do it for nothing,
I need the work.
515
00:29:50,806 --> 00:29:52,524
I can get anybody for nothing.
516
00:29:52,850 --> 00:29:54,121
Take a walk.
517
00:30:07,865 --> 00:30:11,665
- Lie la la
Mohammed dura su Ii la, boss.
518
00:30:15,789 --> 00:30:17,837
- Who do you think you
are, Lawrence of Nigeria?
519
00:30:18,167 --> 00:30:19,859
Least I ain' tjive.
520
00:30:27,509 --> 00:30:29,076
Big man.
521
00:30:30,220 --> 00:30:31,742
- You
wanna have din-din?
522
00:30:33,390 --> 00:30:34,641
Why have dinner?
523
00:30:34,642 --> 00:30:37,987
I'm at 1293 Lennox,
Apartment 4C.
524
00:30:40,731 --> 00:30:43,405
- I got to be straight with
you, girl, I'm engaged.
525
00:30:44,902 --> 00:30:46,370
Keep it to yourself.
526
00:30:46,695 --> 00:30:50,040
Swope, I'm gonna
bend you rjohnson.
527
00:30:51,575 --> 00:30:53,051
I'm ready.
528
00:30:54,328 --> 00:30:56,797
- I'm gonna make
you young again.
529
00:30:57,122 --> 00:31:00,376
♪ Ba-da-da-ba-da-da
530
00:31:00,709 --> 00:31:03,303
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-da
531
00:31:03,629 --> 00:31:06,553
♪ Ba-da-da-da-da
532
00:31:06,882 --> 00:31:09,135
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-da
533
00:31:09,468 --> 00:31:12,392
♪ Ba-da-da-da-da-da
534
00:31:12,721 --> 00:31:14,348
♪ Ba-ba-ba
535
00:31:14,682 --> 00:31:15,908
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-da-da
536
00:31:18,185 --> 00:31:20,779
♪ Ba-ba-da-da
537
00:31:22,398 --> 00:31:23,775
♪ Ba-da-da-da-da
538
00:31:24,108 --> 00:31:25,576
Where is Lopez?
539
00:31:25,901 --> 00:31:27,360
Where you at, man?
540
00:31:27,361 --> 00:31:30,285
- Stratosphere
baby, stratosphere.
541
00:31:30,614 --> 00:31:32,156
I'm stacked up over La Guardia
542
00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:34,455
and I'm not coming
down for nobody.
543
00:31:34,785 --> 00:31:36,261
Not even you.
544
00:31:37,746 --> 00:31:39,748
- Mr.
Swope, Mr. Swope.
545
00:31:40,082 --> 00:31:41,290
Brothers in the black room.
546
00:31:41,291 --> 00:31:42,583
Putney, Putney!
547
00:31:42,584 --> 00:31:44,002
- Brothers
in the black room.
548
00:31:44,003 --> 00:31:44,961
- Putney, Sonny
Williams, our copywriter,
549
00:31:44,962 --> 00:31:46,589
just got busted at Radio City.
550
00:31:46,922 --> 00:31:48,381
He was sitting in the first row
551
00:31:48,382 --> 00:31:49,716
and when the Rockettes came on,
552
00:31:49,717 --> 00:31:52,641
he opened and closed his
raincoat and exposed himself.
553
00:31:52,970 --> 00:31:54,262
Bad PR.
554
00:31:54,263 --> 00:31:55,763
Tell Sonny next time he shows it
555
00:31:55,764 --> 00:31:57,357
I'll make him a
creative director.
556
00:31:58,684 --> 00:32:00,226
Sonny?
557
00:32:00,227 --> 00:32:01,769
If you don't straighten up,
558
00:32:01,770 --> 00:32:03,647
we're gonna send you to
Hollywood as a choreographer.
559
00:32:08,277 --> 00:32:09,904
- Putney, we just
sold 17 new accounts
560
00:32:10,237 --> 00:32:12,706
and Cowboy says we
have 156 million.
561
00:32:13,032 --> 00:32:15,626
- Mr. Swope,
Brothers in the black room.
562
00:32:15,951 --> 00:32:17,953
- Putney, there's trouble
in the black room.
563
00:32:19,580 --> 00:32:21,548
- Mr. Swope,
brothers in the black room.
564
00:32:28,422 --> 00:32:30,194
Just you and me, Swope.
565
00:32:32,342 --> 00:32:33,844
You and me.
566
00:32:35,763 --> 00:32:39,267
- I deal with housing in
the community, bad plumbing,
567
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,602
bad heating and bad rats.
568
00:32:41,935 --> 00:32:43,311
The only way to set
to this thing straight
569
00:32:43,312 --> 00:32:46,612
is with self-determination,
self-respect and self-defense.
570
00:32:50,944 --> 00:32:53,072
We don't go for Jesus no more.
571
00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:55,328
Violence is a cleansing force.
572
00:32:55,657 --> 00:32:58,536
We must adjust ourselves to
the level of our audience,
573
00:32:58,869 --> 00:33:00,436
which is pretty low.
574
00:33:01,455 --> 00:33:04,709
- Non-violence has proven
to be non-functional.
575
00:33:05,042 --> 00:33:06,734
So it's guns, baby.
576
00:33:07,461 --> 00:33:09,555
The end result will
be our own political,
577
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,258
social, economic future.
578
00:33:13,592 --> 00:33:15,594
- My organization
is pro-integration.
579
00:33:15,928 --> 00:33:17,555
We're not hostile like
these other groups.
580
00:33:19,264 --> 00:33:20,686
- We can't do it legally,
we'll do it legitimately.
581
00:33:21,016 --> 00:33:21,933
You know, up front.
582
00:33:21,934 --> 00:33:26,610
Tanks, cocktails, guns baby.
583
00:33:26,939 --> 00:33:29,237
- The pigs must cease the
brutality, destruction
584
00:33:29,566 --> 00:33:31,568
and murder of our
brothers and sisters.
585
00:33:31,902 --> 00:33:33,319
Or they'll suffer
the consequences
586
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,448
from the armed people
of the community.
587
00:33:35,781 --> 00:33:37,323
Bazookas!
588
00:33:37,324 --> 00:33:38,699
Tanks!
589
00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:40,202
Flamethrowers.
590
00:33:40,536 --> 00:33:42,538
- My organization
is pro-integration.
591
00:33:42,871 --> 00:33:44,293
We're not hostile like
these other groups.
592
00:33:44,623 --> 00:33:46,040
Lay some bread on it.
593
00:33:46,041 --> 00:33:47,458
Guns, baby.
594
00:33:47,459 --> 00:33:50,303
- A gun is not
gonna get you a job.
595
00:33:50,629 --> 00:33:52,757
- It'll eliminate
the competition.
596
00:33:55,217 --> 00:33:57,720
Who the hell wants a job?
597
00:33:58,053 --> 00:33:59,805
You better get yourself a piece.
598
00:34:00,139 --> 00:34:01,641
Lay some bread on it.
599
00:34:01,974 --> 00:34:03,647
Lay some bread on it.
600
00:34:03,976 --> 00:34:05,017
Lay some bread on it.
601
00:34:05,018 --> 00:34:07,271
- My group doesn't
need your money, man.
602
00:34:09,773 --> 00:34:12,947
But what we can use is
your help on another level.
603
00:34:14,653 --> 00:34:19,250
I believe that together with
your power and my structure,
604
00:34:20,951 --> 00:34:23,795
we could create a subliminal
tremor throughout the land,
605
00:34:24,121 --> 00:34:28,877
by using the advertising that
comes out of your toilet.
606
00:34:29,751 --> 00:34:31,335
A word here,
607
00:34:31,336 --> 00:34:33,805
a phrase there,
608
00:34:39,428 --> 00:34:40,779
innuendoes,
609
00:34:46,727 --> 00:34:48,294
and subtleties.
610
00:34:49,146 --> 00:34:50,568
Lay some bread on it.
611
00:34:50,898 --> 00:34:53,401
- And when the time is right
man, we move in for the kill.
612
00:34:53,734 --> 00:34:55,452
No mercy, stamp on them!
613
00:34:55,777 --> 00:34:56,736
What about the bread?
614
00:34:56,737 --> 00:34:58,070
_ Tap City.
615
00:34:58,071 --> 00:34:59,718
When my ship comes
in, I'll call you.
616
00:35:00,324 --> 00:35:02,372
You're a sham.
617
00:35:02,701 --> 00:35:04,669
I'm gonna pull the
covers off you.
618
00:35:04,995 --> 00:35:07,214
- You ain't pulling the
covers off of nobody.
619
00:35:10,918 --> 00:35:15,139
- La-Ii-la-la-Mohammed
ur ah su Ii la.
620
00:35:19,092 --> 00:35:23,188
La Ii Ia la mixed-media.
621
00:35:23,513 --> 00:35:25,285
Ra su Ii la
622
00:35:30,020 --> 00:35:33,900
la la la Ia la la la Ia la.
623
00:35:36,902 --> 00:35:38,529
Ah Ii la la Mohammed.
624
00:35:40,864 --> 00:35:42,490
Hey man.
625
00:35:42,491 --> 00:35:44,116
You're just the cat
I wanted to see, man.
626
00:35:44,117 --> 00:35:46,165
I was looking all
around for you, Jim.
627
00:35:46,495 --> 00:35:48,120
Do you know what, man?
628
00:35:48,121 --> 00:35:50,840
Like I'm tired, I'm fed up.
629
00:35:51,166 --> 00:35:52,792
I can't take no more.
630
00:35:52,793 --> 00:35:55,091
I can't stand no more
of Putney Swope, man.
631
00:35:55,420 --> 00:35:56,967
Like, he's got to go, man.
632
00:35:57,297 --> 00:35:59,766
'Cause this cat is a
jive cat, you understand?
633
00:36:00,092 --> 00:36:01,342
You know what, man?
634
00:36:01,343 --> 00:36:03,721
Like, I have been
drubbin' his old lady.
635
00:36:04,054 --> 00:36:05,096
Do you dig this?
636
00:36:05,097 --> 00:36:06,849
And this cat has never
said nothing to me, man.
637
00:36:07,182 --> 00:36:08,729
I have called him
out many a times
638
00:36:09,059 --> 00:36:10,402
in front of all the
people around here,
639
00:36:10,727 --> 00:36:12,195
who kiss this cat's ass, man.
640
00:36:12,521 --> 00:36:13,896
I don't kiss his ass.
641
00:36:13,897 --> 00:36:15,356
'Cause I call it
like it is, man.
642
00:36:15,357 --> 00:36:16,825
This man caught
me with his woman
643
00:36:17,150 --> 00:36:18,948
and still, this cat
can't get rid of me,
644
00:36:19,278 --> 00:36:20,655
'cause I got the
power, you understand?
645
00:36:20,988 --> 00:36:22,661
I got the power,
I got the talent
646
00:36:22,990 --> 00:36:24,617
and I got everything
that this cat wants.
647
00:36:24,950 --> 00:36:25,992
He keeps me around here
648
00:36:25,993 --> 00:36:27,745
because I make him look
good, you understand?
649
00:36:28,078 --> 00:36:30,456
And I'm tired of making
this cat look good.
650
00:36:30,789 --> 00:36:31,998
Are you ready to die?
651
00:36:31,999 --> 00:36:33,342
Man, I'm ready to die.
652
00:36:33,667 --> 00:36:36,671
I'm ready to go anywhere,
do anything, see anybody,
653
00:36:37,004 --> 00:36:40,725
walk, talk, smart, be anything,
to do what I got to do, man.
654
00:36:41,049 --> 00:36:42,216
And I'm died.
655
00:36:42,217 --> 00:36:43,718
Dying means nothing to me, man.
656
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,687
You know, I also wanted to get
things straight around here,
657
00:36:46,013 --> 00:36:47,856
man, 'cause Putney Swope
is a jive cat, man.
658
00:36:48,181 --> 00:36:49,348
He can't talk.
659
00:36:49,349 --> 00:36:50,433
He can't walk.
660
00:36:50,434 --> 00:36:51,726
He can't sit.
661
00:36:51,727 --> 00:36:53,269
Man, this cat can't
do nothing right.
662
00:36:53,270 --> 00:36:54,772
He was voted in
here on a hummer.
663
00:36:57,024 --> 00:36:59,823
- Mr. Swope, I'm tired
of doing commercials.
664
00:37:00,152 --> 00:37:02,530
I wanna do something
more creative.
665
00:37:02,863 --> 00:37:05,036
- Pick up
your severance pay.
666
00:37:05,365 --> 00:37:06,949
Why?
667
00:37:06,950 --> 00:37:08,034
- Did I ask you
why when you said you wanted
668
00:37:08,035 --> 00:37:09,537
to do something more creative?
669
00:37:10,704 --> 00:37:11,975
Nope.
670
00:37:17,127 --> 00:37:19,050
I feel like an Oreo cookie.
671
00:37:19,379 --> 00:37:21,347
You like a pile of shit.
672
00:37:35,103 --> 00:37:36,855
- Are
you putting me on?
673
00:37:40,108 --> 00:37:41,233
Where you been, Put?
674
00:37:41,234 --> 00:37:42,577
Mecca.
675
00:37:42,903 --> 00:37:46,203
- The man says he's the
President of the United States.
676
00:37:53,497 --> 00:37:54,768
Yeah?
677
00:37:55,791 --> 00:37:56,499
Putney Swope?
678
00:37:56,500 --> 00:37:57,625
Yeah?
679
00:37:57,626 --> 00:37:59,549
What do you mean, yeah?
680
00:37:59,878 --> 00:38:01,379
Be congenial.
681
00:38:01,380 --> 00:38:04,475
I want to extend to you
my deepest congratulation.
682
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,804
It's very, very important
to have a boy like you,
683
00:38:08,136 --> 00:38:10,480
in such a prominent position.
684
00:38:10,806 --> 00:38:12,014
It's good for me.
685
00:38:12,015 --> 00:38:13,140
It's good for you.
686
00:38:13,141 --> 00:38:15,235
And it might keep
the summers cool.
687
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:16,903
I like your style, Swope.
688
00:38:17,229 --> 00:38:19,857
So I'm gonna throw
some business your way.
689
00:38:20,190 --> 00:38:22,067
I never chase foul balls.
690
00:38:22,401 --> 00:38:24,324
You are lot of laughs.
691
00:38:24,653 --> 00:38:26,826
Next time I'm up in Big
Town, we'll get together
692
00:38:27,155 --> 00:38:28,656
and shoot up or something.
693
00:38:28,657 --> 00:38:29,949
What you want, man?
694
00:38:29,950 --> 00:38:31,998
- Mr. Six, the man who
owns the Borman Six
695
00:38:32,327 --> 00:38:33,577
is a friend of mine.
696
00:38:33,578 --> 00:38:35,876
Take care of him, quick!
697
00:38:38,333 --> 00:38:39,291
Looks good.
698
00:38:39,292 --> 00:38:40,794
He'll come around.
699
00:38:41,128 --> 00:38:42,086
Thank you.
700
00:38:42,087 --> 00:38:43,546
Excellent, Mimeo!
701
00:38:43,547 --> 00:38:45,766
I like the way you handle
yourself on the telephone.
702
00:38:46,091 --> 00:38:47,383
You're nobody's fool.
703
00:38:47,384 --> 00:38:49,009
Except perhaps, mine.
704
00:38:49,010 --> 00:38:50,512
But I'm glad I chose
you for this job.
705
00:38:50,846 --> 00:38:52,348
You've justified
my faith in you.
706
00:38:53,849 --> 00:38:56,227
However, Mimeo, there
is one question.
707
00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:00,110
This business about
shooting up in the big town.
708
00:39:00,439 --> 00:39:03,033
After all, a man
in your position,
709
00:39:03,358 --> 00:39:05,656
which is a rather
strange position,
710
00:39:05,986 --> 00:39:07,329
you have justified my confidence
711
00:39:07,654 --> 00:39:10,248
in having chosen such a big
man for this assignment.
712
00:39:11,616 --> 00:39:13,869
There are however,
one or two points
713
00:39:14,202 --> 00:39:15,670
I would like to bring up.
714
00:39:15,996 --> 00:39:18,090
After all, I'm sure
Barnum and Bailey
715
00:39:18,415 --> 00:39:19,962
wouldn't mind having you back.
716
00:39:20,292 --> 00:39:23,717
So, please, I suggest you
be a little more careful.
717
00:39:24,045 --> 00:39:26,093
Mrs. Mimeo, you play divinely.
718
00:39:26,423 --> 00:39:28,721
Perhaps you would like
to play for me sometime.
719
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,063
Nice wife you have there, Mimeo.
720
00:39:34,306 --> 00:39:35,853
It would be most
unfortunate, would it not,
721
00:39:36,183 --> 00:39:38,185
if anything should
happen to her?
722
00:39:43,773 --> 00:39:47,323
- Don't worry, Mr. Sm, the
Barman Sm gonna be okay.
723
00:39:47,652 --> 00:39:49,279
- I hope you're right
Mimeo, for your sake.
724
00:39:49,613 --> 00:39:51,661
But now, we have a
moment of joviality.
725
00:39:51,990 --> 00:39:53,992
We relax, you, Ruthie
and I, we sit down,
726
00:39:54,326 --> 00:39:57,079
we partake of a bit of grass,
I've got some good shit.
727
00:39:58,330 --> 00:39:59,330
Tell me something, Mimeo,
728
00:39:59,331 --> 00:40:00,958
do you have the new
Maximilian Schell album?
729
00:40:01,291 --> 00:40:02,249
I love rock and roll.
730
00:40:02,250 --> 00:40:03,752
Perhaps The Electric Pygmy?
731
00:40:04,085 --> 00:40:06,304
Ruthie, you're looking
lovely as ever my dear.
732
00:40:06,630 --> 00:40:08,007
- From now on, if
outsiders wanna talk to me,
733
00:40:08,340 --> 00:40:11,765
they're gonna talk in my face.
734
00:40:12,093 --> 00:40:13,436
No more telephones.
735
00:40:13,762 --> 00:40:15,355
Too much communication.
736
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:16,972
If you take out the phones,
737
00:40:16,973 --> 00:40:18,390
how are we going to
conduct business?
738
00:40:18,391 --> 00:40:19,984
With your head and your soul.
739
00:40:20,310 --> 00:40:21,560
That's right!
740
00:40:21,561 --> 00:40:22,904
That's unrealistic.
741
00:40:23,230 --> 00:40:24,271
If you want reality,
742
00:40:24,272 --> 00:40:25,865
I'm gonna put you
back on the streets.
743
00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:28,526
The dude's right.
744
00:40:28,527 --> 00:40:30,152
We don't need phones.
745
00:40:30,153 --> 00:40:31,529
I can get a message
to California
746
00:40:31,530 --> 00:40:33,453
quicker than you can
make a phone call.
747
00:40:33,782 --> 00:40:34,573
How?
748
00:40:34,574 --> 00:40:35,366
The drum.
749
00:40:35,367 --> 00:40:36,450
Say what?
750
00:40:36,451 --> 00:40:37,243
The drum.
751
00:40:37,244 --> 00:40:38,369
What's that?
752
00:40:38,370 --> 00:40:39,787
Vibrations.
753
00:40:39,788 --> 00:40:41,540
- Out O'Dinga,
you're finished.
754
00:40:52,008 --> 00:40:54,056
I heard you fired Mr. O'Dinga.
755
00:40:54,386 --> 00:40:55,844
How did you find out?
756
00:40:55,845 --> 00:40:56,946
The drum.
757
00:40:57,722 --> 00:40:59,770
- Hey, Lopez says
this place is crazy.
758
00:41:00,100 --> 00:41:01,667
Who's Lopez?
759
00:41:02,310 --> 00:41:03,903
He's in my head.
760
00:41:04,229 --> 00:41:05,437
That's right.
761
00:41:05,438 --> 00:41:06,814
- I've been running
this tree hut
762
00:41:06,815 --> 00:41:08,317
just like it was run before.
763
00:41:08,650 --> 00:41:10,323
Straight into the ground.
764
00:41:10,652 --> 00:41:13,531
I've made a few
innovations, but not enough.
765
00:41:14,864 --> 00:41:16,407
I have a feeling
that there's a lot
766
00:41:16,408 --> 00:41:18,911
of untapped talent around here.
767
00:41:19,244 --> 00:41:23,090
So beginning right now, I want
each and every one of you,
768
00:41:23,415 --> 00:41:27,215
to conceive, write, produce
and execute your own campaign.
769
00:41:29,212 --> 00:41:31,055
If you don't think you can
come up with something new,
770
00:41:31,381 --> 00:41:32,974
then don't come up with nothing.
771
00:41:33,300 --> 00:41:35,223
And if you don't feel that
you're the creative type,
772
00:41:35,552 --> 00:41:37,054
then pitch in and
help somebody else
773
00:41:37,387 --> 00:41:39,060
with what they're doing.
774
00:41:50,358 --> 00:41:52,827
- Creative juices
are flowing my main man.
775
00:41:53,153 --> 00:41:55,155
You've liberated my muse.
776
00:41:55,488 --> 00:41:58,742
- Picture a foxy chick
sitting on a park bench,
777
00:41:59,075 --> 00:42:00,543
the camera zooms
underneath her dress
778
00:42:00,869 --> 00:42:02,963
and you cut to a train
coming out of a tunnel.
779
00:42:03,288 --> 00:42:05,336
It's a commercial for
the Long Island Railroad.
780
00:42:05,665 --> 00:42:07,542
Like it's surreal man, surreal.
781
00:42:07,876 --> 00:42:09,628
Are you for surreal?
782
00:42:09,961 --> 00:42:13,056
- I don't have any ideas,
but it's good to know
783
00:42:13,381 --> 00:42:16,885
that if I ever do, I'll
be able to try them out.
784
00:42:17,218 --> 00:42:19,812
- I just came up with three
names for teenage skin creams;
785
00:42:20,138 --> 00:42:23,017
No Blem, Squeeze
No, and Face Off.
786
00:42:23,350 --> 00:42:24,516
Get rid of him.
787
00:42:24,517 --> 00:42:25,851
Mr. Swope, I think we should
788
00:42:25,852 --> 00:42:28,025
do all our commercials in sepia.
789
00:42:28,355 --> 00:42:30,778
And instead of
having coffee breaks,
790
00:42:31,107 --> 00:42:32,984
we should have
watermelon breaks.
791
00:42:33,318 --> 00:42:34,693
Get rid of him, too.
792
00:42:34,694 --> 00:42:37,197
- Hey, here's a poem I
wrote when I was in jail.
793
00:42:37,530 --> 00:42:39,532
Life is about a relentless
journey to a path
794
00:42:39,866 --> 00:42:41,367
with oncoming screeching cars
795
00:42:41,368 --> 00:42:43,120
with headlights of boredom
796
00:42:43,453 --> 00:42:46,172
and a bumper of
social responsibility.
797
00:43:05,558 --> 00:43:07,356
- Mr. President, did
you hear about the woman
798
00:43:07,686 --> 00:43:09,228
who asked her
husband to walk out
799
00:43:09,229 --> 00:43:10,562
to the garbage can with her?
800
00:43:10,563 --> 00:43:12,440
"Are you out of your
mind?" replied her husband.
801
00:43:12,774 --> 00:43:14,358
"Not at all," replied the wife,
802
00:43:14,359 --> 00:43:15,609
"I'd like the neighbors
803
00:43:15,610 --> 00:43:17,237
"to know we go out
together once in a while."
804
00:43:19,197 --> 00:43:20,744
Mr. President, did you
hear about the fellow
805
00:43:21,074 --> 00:43:22,658
who was nine feet,
eight inches tall
806
00:43:22,659 --> 00:43:24,377
and wore a size 22 shoe?
807
00:43:25,745 --> 00:43:26,954
And do you know what
he did for a living?
808
00:43:26,955 --> 00:43:28,457
He stamped out forest fires.
809
00:43:28,790 --> 00:43:32,385
Mimeo, what is that?
810
00:43:35,296 --> 00:43:37,094
- The game warden wanted
me to throw it back.
811
00:43:37,424 --> 00:43:41,270
But I put up such a
fight that I mounted it.
812
00:43:45,515 --> 00:43:47,643
- Mr. President, this fellow
who went down to Florida
813
00:43:47,976 --> 00:43:49,944
to do a demonstration,
a benefit show-
814
00:43:50,270 --> 00:43:51,812
Oh this is a real funny man.
815
00:43:51,813 --> 00:43:53,439
Funny man!
816
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:54,942
- In a benefit show and they
put up a special platform,
817
00:43:55,275 --> 00:43:56,483
with a trap door.
818
00:43:56,484 --> 00:43:58,111
- Mimeo, who is this
schmuck you have hired,
819
00:43:58,445 --> 00:43:59,695
he's babbling in your
ear, over and over.
820
00:43:59,696 --> 00:44:00,612
And his-
821
00:44:00,613 --> 00:44:02,035
Mr. President, Mr. President?
822
00:44:02,365 --> 00:44:03,699
What banality!
823
00:44:03,700 --> 00:44:06,328
- Mr. President, and this
fellow's show was so terrible
824
00:44:06,661 --> 00:44:08,078
that when the trap door opened-
825
00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:09,538
- Ruthie.
- If it wasn't for the fact-
826
00:44:09,539 --> 00:44:10,581
If you would like a toke.
827
00:44:10,582 --> 00:44:11,498
- That he had a rope
around his neck-
828
00:44:11,499 --> 00:44:12,666
Come on put hair on your nose.
829
00:44:12,667 --> 00:44:13,733
He would have broken his legs.
830
00:44:14,252 --> 00:44:15,899
And he couldn't kick.
831
00:44:18,965 --> 00:44:20,507
Yeah, he is funny!
832
00:44:20,508 --> 00:44:22,476
Actually, when I think about
it, I knew he was funny.
833
00:44:22,802 --> 00:44:25,329
Mr. President?
834
00:44:26,765 --> 00:44:27,866
Mr. President?
835
00:44:31,519 --> 00:44:33,336
Mr. President?
836
00:44:35,398 --> 00:44:36,607
Hey, it's cold in here.
837
00:44:36,608 --> 00:44:38,531
Throw another Jew on the fire!
838
00:44:41,529 --> 00:44:43,051
Mr. President?
839
00:44:43,406 --> 00:44:45,374
Mr. President.
840
00:44:45,700 --> 00:44:47,301
There were three
women in Florida.
841
00:44:50,538 --> 00:44:52,211
Mr. President, there were
three women in Florida-
842
00:44:52,540 --> 00:44:54,437
Sock it to me, baby!
843
00:44:55,335 --> 00:44:56,712
Describing what once.
844
00:44:58,379 --> 00:44:59,946
Mr. President?
845
00:45:02,050 --> 00:45:03,393
Mr. President?
846
00:45:06,721 --> 00:45:07,638
0y!
847
00:45:07,639 --> 00:45:08,956
Mr. President?
848
00:45:18,983 --> 00:45:23,409
♪ It started last weekend
849
00:45:23,738 --> 00:45:28,494
♪ At the Yale-Howard game
850
00:45:29,869 --> 00:45:32,918
♪ Girl, I saw your
beaver flash
851
00:45:33,248 --> 00:45:37,378
♪ I'll never be the same
852
00:45:37,710 --> 00:45:42,466
♪ Oh, no
853
00:45:44,300 --> 00:45:49,181
♪ You gave me a soul kiss
854
00:45:50,181 --> 00:45:54,027
♪ Boy, it sure was grand
855
00:45:54,352 --> 00:45:57,902
♪ You gave me a dry hump
856
00:45:58,231 --> 00:46:02,327
♪ Behind the hotdog stand
857
00:46:02,652 --> 00:46:07,408
♪ Oh, yeah
858
00:46:09,033 --> 00:46:13,379
♪ I used to have pimples
859
00:46:13,705 --> 00:46:18,461
♪ But I made them disappear
860
00:46:19,460 --> 00:46:22,339
♪ He faced life with Face Off
861
00:46:22,672 --> 00:46:26,518
♪ It made his skin
so clear, um-um
862
00:46:33,641 --> 00:46:37,942
♪ A pimple is simple
863
00:46:38,271 --> 00:46:43,027
♪ If you treat your
pimples right
864
00:46:43,860 --> 00:46:46,864
♪ My man uses Face Off
865
00:46:47,196 --> 00:46:51,497
♪ He's really out of sight
866
00:46:51,826 --> 00:46:55,296
♪ And so are his pimples
867
00:47:19,646 --> 00:47:22,274
- I just created a skin
cream called Face Off.
868
00:47:22,607 --> 00:47:24,405
And I just come up with
a whole new concept
869
00:47:24,734 --> 00:47:26,702
for the Long Island Railroad.
870
00:47:27,028 --> 00:47:28,450
I love you, baby.
871
00:47:28,780 --> 00:47:30,123
I love you.
872
00:47:30,448 --> 00:47:31,949
I love you, baby.
873
00:47:31,950 --> 00:47:33,372
I love you.
874
00:47:33,701 --> 00:47:35,118
I love you, baby.
875
00:47:35,119 --> 00:47:36,036
I love you.
876
00:47:36,037 --> 00:47:37,414
Did you take your pill?
877
00:47:38,706 --> 00:47:40,148
You'll never know.
878
00:47:45,713 --> 00:47:47,340
ls Mr. Swope in?
879
00:47:47,674 --> 00:47:48,590
" Huh?
880
00:47:48,591 --> 00:47:50,059
This is President Mimeo.
881
00:47:56,265 --> 00:47:57,683
Yeah?
882
00:47:57,684 --> 00:47:59,231
Putney?
883
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:00,852
Yeah.
884
00:48:00,853 --> 00:48:02,079
Guess who?
885
00:48:03,231 --> 00:48:04,608
Marcus Garvey.
886
00:48:04,941 --> 00:48:06,087
Nope.
887
00:48:06,693 --> 00:48:08,110
T")! again.
888
00:48:08,111 --> 00:48:09,695
President Mimeo.
889
00:48:09,696 --> 00:48:10,737
How did you guess?
890
00:48:10,738 --> 00:48:12,490
I used to be an exterminator.
891
00:48:12,824 --> 00:48:15,168
- You might be saying, I
used to have an agency,
892
00:48:15,493 --> 00:48:18,212
if you don't get moving
on the Borman Six.
893
00:48:18,538 --> 00:48:20,961
- Why are you so hung
up on the Borman Six?
894
00:48:21,290 --> 00:48:22,833
I'm a stockholder.
895
00:48:22,834 --> 00:48:24,302
Let me sleep on it.
896
00:48:24,627 --> 00:48:25,853
Good night, pal.
897
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:52,591
Out!
898
00:48:54,782 --> 00:48:56,705
Swope, Mark Focus.
899
00:48:58,202 --> 00:48:59,678
Whadda you want?
900
00:49:01,414 --> 00:49:03,061
Did that for Hertz.
901
00:49:03,750 --> 00:49:05,167
That's Colgate,
902
00:49:05,168 --> 00:49:05,959
Nabisco-
903
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:07,461
I seen enough, Mark.
904
00:49:07,462 --> 00:49:09,590
You're one of the best
photographers in the business.
905
00:49:09,922 --> 00:49:10,756
Thank you.
906
00:49:10,757 --> 00:49:12,233
Take a walk.
907
00:49:20,016 --> 00:49:21,287
Mr. President?
908
00:49:22,101 --> 00:49:23,543
Mark Focus.
909
00:49:28,483 --> 00:49:30,300
I did this for Kennedy.
910
00:49:33,946 --> 00:49:35,798
I did this for Johnson.
911
00:49:39,744 --> 00:49:41,311
I did this for Nixon.
912
00:49:44,665 --> 00:49:46,713
And this was the Agnew Funeral.
913
00:49:47,043 --> 00:49:48,795
- Have you a picture
of Raquel Welch?
914
00:49:54,008 --> 00:49:56,010
Would you like to join us?
915
00:49:58,971 --> 00:50:00,663
Did you vote for me?
916
00:50:03,017 --> 00:50:04,334
Well, it's okay.
917
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:39,182
Beach Club Sunday.
918
00:50:39,512 --> 00:50:41,685
- Come up with an
idea for the Borman Six.
919
00:50:43,224 --> 00:50:45,943
- I know nothing
about automobiles.
920
00:50:47,311 --> 00:50:49,689
- Give me an
idea for the Borman Six.
921
00:50:51,107 --> 00:50:55,738
- All right, if I ever think
of anything, I'll let you know.
922
00:51:01,576 --> 00:51:03,044
- Did you
think of something?
923
00:51:05,037 --> 00:51:06,960
The Borman Six, nitwit.
924
00:51:07,290 --> 00:51:09,634
- Listen Swope, if you want
me to come up with ideas,
925
00:51:09,959 --> 00:51:11,251
get me a license!
926
00:51:11,252 --> 00:51:13,050
Take me down to city
hall and do what's right.
927
00:51:14,172 --> 00:51:15,380
Forget it.
928
00:51:15,381 --> 00:51:16,948
You forget!
929
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,027
Mr. Swope, congratulations.
930
00:51:54,086 --> 00:51:56,305
What about the Bowman Sm'?
931
00:51:57,965 --> 00:51:59,717
Oh, all right.
932
00:52:01,177 --> 00:52:02,724
What are they gonna
feature next year?
933
00:52:03,054 --> 00:52:04,931
- Defects, pollution,
velvet safety belts,
934
00:52:05,264 --> 00:52:06,765
strobe headlights,
fiberglass windshields-
935
00:52:06,766 --> 00:52:07,867
okay-
936
00:52:16,567 --> 00:52:18,695
You gotta get a
young girl with soul.
937
00:52:27,453 --> 00:52:29,797
- You better get
moving on that freight elevator.
938
00:52:35,670 --> 00:52:38,264
- Sonny Williams got picked
up in the Bronx Holiday Inn,
939
00:52:38,589 --> 00:52:40,216
with a 13-year-old girl.
940
00:52:41,926 --> 00:52:44,224
- At least he's
not superstitious.
941
00:52:44,553 --> 00:52:45,930
Your lawyer, who's his lawyer,
942
00:52:46,264 --> 00:52:48,062
wants to be the
prosecuting attorney.
943
00:52:49,308 --> 00:52:52,061
- Get Sonny Williams
in here, now!
944
00:53:03,739 --> 00:53:05,115
- Would
you like to come over
945
00:53:05,116 --> 00:53:06,959
to my house and
have some dainties?
946
00:53:07,285 --> 00:53:08,576
I don't exercise.
947
00:53:08,577 --> 00:53:10,295
Don't put me down.
948
00:53:10,621 --> 00:53:12,214
I can't sleep because of you.
949
00:53:13,833 --> 00:53:16,677
That's why I've got these
valises under my eyes.
950
00:53:17,003 --> 00:53:18,801
I'm in love with you, Myron X.
951
00:53:19,130 --> 00:53:20,632
My name is Rufus.
952
00:53:20,965 --> 00:53:22,308
- I don't care
what your name is.
953
00:53:22,633 --> 00:53:23,859
You're my man.
954
00:53:26,095 --> 00:53:27,262
I'm not your man.
955
00:53:27,263 --> 00:53:28,722
Yes, you are.
956
00:53:28,723 --> 00:53:30,896
- I'm not your man
and I never will be.
957
00:53:31,225 --> 00:53:33,569
- I don't care
what you say to me.
958
00:53:33,894 --> 00:53:35,817
You're my biggest fantasy.
959
00:53:36,147 --> 00:53:38,275
I dream about you every night.
960
00:53:40,109 --> 00:53:41,318
That's okay.
961
00:53:41,319 --> 00:53:42,866
Just don't send me
the laundry bill.
962
00:54:00,421 --> 00:54:05,268
- Putney says the Borman Six
girl has got to have soul!
963
00:54:08,971 --> 00:54:13,818
Putney says the Borman Six
girl has got to have soul!
964
00:54:29,158 --> 00:54:34,039
Putney says the Borman Six
girl has got to have soul!
965
00:54:38,167 --> 00:54:39,939
Got to have soul!
966
00:54:43,923 --> 00:54:48,804
Putney says the
Borman Six girl has...
967
00:54:54,558 --> 00:54:55,980
Best shit on me.
968
00:54:56,310 --> 00:54:57,456
Yeah.
969
00:54:58,187 --> 00:54:59,229
- Excuse
me, Mr. Swope,
970
00:54:59,230 --> 00:55:00,188
can I speak to you a minute?
971
00:55:00,189 --> 00:55:01,540
Sure.
972
00:55:11,075 --> 00:55:14,375
- Mr. Swope, I do
exactly the same job
973
00:55:14,703 --> 00:55:16,329
as the other executives.
974
00:55:16,330 --> 00:55:18,207
But I don't make as
much money as they do.
975
00:55:19,250 --> 00:55:20,593
I don't think that's right.
976
00:55:22,211 --> 00:55:25,511
- If I give you a raise,
everybody's gonna want a raise.
977
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:27,465
And if I give them a raise,
978
00:55:27,466 --> 00:55:29,685
they'll still be making
more money than you.
979
00:55:30,010 --> 00:55:32,058
And we'll be right
back where we started.
980
00:55:38,978 --> 00:55:41,151
- I'd never thought
of it that way.
981
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:44,154
- And that's why
you get less money.
982
00:55:44,483 --> 00:55:45,905
'Cause you don't think.
983
00:55:50,156 --> 00:55:51,678
Thank you.
984
00:56:05,045 --> 00:56:06,463
I believe this.
985
00:56:06,464 --> 00:56:07,881
This girl, she's
got to have soul.
986
00:56:07,882 --> 00:56:09,304
Don't you believe this?
987
00:56:10,468 --> 00:56:12,596
She's got to have soul.
988
00:56:12,928 --> 00:56:15,898
Putney says she's got
to have soul, right?
989
00:56:16,849 --> 00:56:18,271
See, she's got to have soul.
990
00:56:20,478 --> 00:56:22,196
Putney says she's
got to have soul.
991
00:56:28,068 --> 00:56:30,070
Don't you believe she's
got to have soul, Mr. Roth?
992
00:56:32,031 --> 00:56:32,947
Let's go, let's go.
993
00:56:32,948 --> 00:56:34,014
Let's go.
994
00:56:58,599 --> 00:57:00,727
- You can't eat an
air conditioner.
995
00:57:28,921 --> 00:57:31,344
- Beautiful, give
everyone a 10 buck raise-.
996
00:57:31,674 --> 00:57:33,301
What about the messengers?
997
00:57:43,185 --> 00:57:46,940
- They charge an arm and a leg
in there, but it's worth it.
998
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:01,452
What's that for?
999
00:58:01,453 --> 00:58:03,305
Worth It Life Insurance.
1000
00:58:14,300 --> 00:58:19,181
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1001
00:58:23,809 --> 00:58:28,690
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1002
00:58:30,357 --> 00:58:35,238
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1003
00:58:36,864 --> 00:58:41,745
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1004
00:58:43,287 --> 00:58:48,168
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1005
00:58:49,126 --> 00:58:54,007
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1006
00:58:55,132 --> 00:58:59,228
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1007
00:58:59,553 --> 00:59:04,229
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1008
00:59:07,853 --> 00:59:12,734
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1009
00:59:13,692 --> 00:59:18,573
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1010
00:59:19,657 --> 00:59:22,251
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1011
00:59:35,547 --> 00:59:38,175
♪ La-la-la-Ia
1012
00:59:38,509 --> 00:59:43,265
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1013
00:59:44,473 --> 00:59:49,354
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1014
00:59:50,437 --> 00:59:52,656
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1015
00:59:52,981 --> 00:59:54,858
♪ Ba-baa
1016
01:00:06,036 --> 01:00:07,537
Will the passenger holding,
1017
01:00:07,538 --> 01:00:12,294
lucky winning ticket
586, repeat, 586,
1018
01:00:14,545 --> 01:00:17,219
please report to the
special lucky prize room,
1019
01:00:17,548 --> 01:00:19,141
at the rear of the aircraft?
1020
01:00:20,426 --> 01:00:22,053
Go Lucky Airlines.
1021
01:01:49,348 --> 01:01:50,264
Who did that?
1022
01:01:50,265 --> 01:01:51,057
You did.
1023
01:01:51,058 --> 01:01:52,308
It was your idea.
1024
01:01:52,309 --> 01:01:54,528
Not bad, not bad.
1025
01:01:54,853 --> 01:01:56,901
- We'll
have 12 more by sundown.
1026
01:01:57,231 --> 01:01:59,199
- I want these on the
air by tomorrow night.
1027
01:02:00,943 --> 01:02:03,822
- Putney,
in my humble opinion,
1028
01:02:04,154 --> 01:02:06,282
these commercials are tasteless.
1029
01:02:06,615 --> 01:02:09,084
- Putney, Myron X said
you were tasteless.
1030
01:02:09,409 --> 01:02:11,582
- You said we were gonna do
things with integrity and style.
1031
01:02:11,912 --> 01:02:13,120
What we're doing is worse
1032
01:02:13,121 --> 01:02:15,089
than anything our
predecessors ever done.
1033
01:02:15,415 --> 01:02:18,294
Damn commercials are literal
and they're disgusting.
1034
01:02:18,627 --> 01:02:20,629
And by advocating such filth,
1035
01:02:20,963 --> 01:02:23,842
Putney is confusing
obscenity with originality.
1036
01:02:24,174 --> 01:02:25,972
- Let me
un-confuse you, baby.
1037
01:02:26,301 --> 01:02:28,303
- Everybody that was in
these commercials, you fired!
1038
01:02:28,637 --> 01:02:29,637
Ain't one of them around!
1039
01:02:29,638 --> 01:02:31,180
And I know you a jive cat,
1040
01:02:31,181 --> 01:02:32,265
'cause you done made
your last mistake
1041
01:02:32,266 --> 01:02:33,724
you ever gonna make, mister.
1042
01:02:33,725 --> 01:02:35,773
I seen that nonsense you
trying to show us here.
1043
01:02:36,103 --> 01:02:37,776
You trying to dupe
everybody in this joint.
1044
01:02:38,105 --> 01:02:39,689
Now what is this?
1045
01:02:39,690 --> 01:02:41,317
We done taken the last
bit of your nonsense, man.
1046
01:02:41,650 --> 01:02:43,234
I'm not gonna take
all this crap.
1047
01:02:43,235 --> 01:02:44,703
Everybody knows
you a jive nigger.
1048
01:02:45,028 --> 01:02:46,530
You done pulled
all this jive shit.
1049
01:02:46,864 --> 01:02:48,582
Your mother had a creative
idea when she borne you,
1050
01:02:48,907 --> 01:02:50,533
and you had to go and blow that!
1051
01:02:50,534 --> 01:02:52,411
Then you gonna come and try
to show us all this crap.
1052
01:02:52,744 --> 01:02:54,121
A nigger sitting up
there eating cornflakes.
1053
01:02:54,454 --> 01:02:56,377
Man, you ain't had nothing
original since you got here.
1054
01:02:56,707 --> 01:02:58,175
You stole the idea
about Borman Six.
1055
01:02:58,500 --> 01:02:59,584
You got it from your wife!
1056
01:02:59,585 --> 01:03:01,002
Are you gonna tell
me that's a lie?
1057
01:03:01,003 --> 01:03:02,380
One night she told me herself.
1058
01:03:02,713 --> 01:03:04,090
And that little
nephew who gave you
1059
01:03:04,423 --> 01:03:06,846
that idea for that other
thing and you got rid of him.
1060
01:03:07,175 --> 01:03:08,677
Ain't nobody around who
help you in anything.
1061
01:03:09,011 --> 01:03:11,764
Everybody has either been shut
up, cut up, or been put out.
1062
01:03:12,097 --> 01:03:13,770
Can't you see this trash this
man is trying to sell us?
1063
01:03:14,099 --> 01:03:15,476
Look at you in the
highwater pants.
1064
01:03:15,809 --> 01:03:17,857
You jive nigger, look
at your two-button suit.
1065
01:03:18,186 --> 01:03:19,520
Now what kind of suit is that?
1066
01:03:19,521 --> 01:03:20,438
You're supposed to
be a soul brother.
1067
01:03:20,439 --> 01:03:21,731
Look at these brother's here.
1068
01:03:21,732 --> 01:03:23,024
Everybody's dressed up
like pride and dignity.
1069
01:03:23,025 --> 01:03:24,567
You ain't got none.
1070
01:03:24,568 --> 01:03:25,776
Now what are you tryin to do?
1071
01:03:25,777 --> 01:03:28,371
Ho ho oh ya ya, ya
Ya Ya, yeah, yeah.
1072
01:03:28,697 --> 01:03:30,370
This company runs
because I'm here.
1073
01:03:30,699 --> 01:03:32,372
And I'm gonna hate you
if you don't get right.
1074
01:03:32,701 --> 01:03:33,618
And you ain't right
and I hate you.
1075
01:03:33,619 --> 01:03:35,246
I hate you, you understand?
1076
01:03:35,579 --> 01:03:37,206
I hate you because
you a jive cat.
1077
01:03:37,539 --> 01:03:38,831
You ain't got nothing inside!
1078
01:03:38,832 --> 01:03:40,124
You got to go.
1079
01:03:40,125 --> 01:03:42,674
You got to go or I got
to go and I'm not going.
1080
01:03:43,003 --> 01:03:44,128
Now how you like that?
1081
01:03:44,129 --> 01:03:45,338
He ain't got a thing inside him.
1082
01:03:45,339 --> 01:03:46,923
He ain't nothing but a shell.
1083
01:03:46,924 --> 01:03:48,517
Hey man, you better let me go!
1084
01:03:48,842 --> 01:03:49,759
I'm gonna get him!
1085
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:50,801
Shit!
1086
01:03:50,802 --> 01:03:51,719
Get off me!
1087
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:58,770
♪ Ta da
1088
01:03:59,811 --> 01:04:02,985
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da
1089
01:04:03,315 --> 01:04:06,694
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da
1090
01:04:07,027 --> 01:04:09,280
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1091
01:04:12,699 --> 01:04:14,888
" Cut!
1092
01:04:28,340 --> 01:04:29,842
♪ Ba-ba-ba
1093
01:04:30,175 --> 01:04:33,019
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1094
01:04:33,345 --> 01:04:35,071
Whatddaya think?
1095
01:04:37,599 --> 01:04:39,567
Keep the money, Swope.
1096
01:04:39,893 --> 01:04:43,693
But don't put it on the air,
or I'll be out of business.
1097
01:04:44,022 --> 01:04:45,490
What's wrong with it?
1098
01:04:45,816 --> 01:04:47,284
Too much tail-pipe.
1099
01:04:47,609 --> 01:04:50,533
- Listen you, you lucky I'm
pushing this death trap.
1100
01:04:50,862 --> 01:04:51,696
I don't play.
1101
01:04:51,697 --> 01:04:53,415
Goes on the air tomorrow night.
1102
01:04:54,783 --> 01:04:58,208
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
1103
01:04:58,537 --> 01:05:01,290
♪ Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-baa
1104
01:05:07,004 --> 01:05:08,426
What the hell are you doing?
1105
01:05:08,755 --> 01:05:10,131
Making a delivery.
1106
01:05:10,132 --> 01:05:11,424
Well make it down the stairs
1107
01:05:11,425 --> 01:05:13,348
and come back up the
freight elevator.
1108
01:05:13,677 --> 01:05:14,885
It's 36 flights.
1109
01:05:14,886 --> 01:05:16,388
I don't care what it is.
1110
01:05:16,722 --> 01:05:18,264
- Why do I have to take
the freight elevator?
1111
01:05:18,265 --> 01:05:19,348
I'm not a package.
1112
01:05:19,349 --> 01:05:21,121
Because it's custom.
1113
01:05:22,728 --> 01:05:24,250
It's policy.
1114
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:36,541
♪ We'll see when I
see who's seeing you
1115
01:05:38,201 --> 01:05:42,081
♪ Oh oh oh what you'll see
when I see who's seeing you
1116
01:05:44,875 --> 01:05:47,469
♪ Oh, oh oh oh
1117
01:05:51,089 --> 01:05:52,841
Love you, Walter.
1118
01:05:53,175 --> 01:05:55,724
I love you more than
anything else in the world.
1119
01:05:56,053 --> 01:05:57,430
- I'll
see you later.
1120
01:05:57,763 --> 01:05:59,185
I love you, Walter.
1121
01:06:00,807 --> 01:06:02,016
- I love
you too, Mother.
1122
01:06:02,017 --> 01:06:03,517
- You know you're not
supposed to serve food
1123
01:06:03,518 --> 01:06:05,102
without something on your head.
1124
01:06:05,103 --> 01:06:07,071
I don't want your
hair in my food.
1125
01:06:07,397 --> 01:06:09,900
I told you a hundred times.
1126
01:06:10,233 --> 01:06:11,025
All right.
1127
01:06:11,026 --> 01:06:12,651
Get in the kitchen.
1128
01:06:12,652 --> 01:06:16,577
- I'm sorry, this is such
a...
1129
01:06:19,701 --> 01:06:22,204
- Honey, I'm sorry
about this sandwich.
1130
01:06:22,537 --> 01:06:25,381
That tile man's got the kitchen
so stacked high with tiles,
1131
01:06:25,707 --> 01:06:27,399
cook can't cook anything.
1132
01:06:28,043 --> 01:06:29,511
I'd send the damn tiles back,
1133
01:06:29,836 --> 01:06:31,463
but you know we're having
a dinner party on Friday.
1134
01:06:31,797 --> 01:06:33,765
- How do you
like working for Mr. Swope?
1135
01:06:34,091 --> 01:06:37,686
- Oh you see, it's
terribly difficult
1136
01:06:38,011 --> 01:06:39,178
to run such a big house,
1137
01:06:39,179 --> 01:06:42,103
but then, I really do think
1138
01:06:42,432 --> 01:06:45,777
it's important this
house is run well.
1139
01:06:46,103 --> 01:06:48,731
And I'm not like,
washing windows here.
1140
01:06:49,064 --> 01:06:53,820
I'm sort of secretary in
a very old-fashioned way.
1141
01:07:01,451 --> 01:07:02,868
- Mr. Swope,
do you think your approach
1142
01:07:02,869 --> 01:07:04,411
to advertising will
encourage young people
1143
01:07:04,412 --> 01:07:05,830
to go into advertising?
1144
01:07:05,831 --> 01:07:06,956
I hope not.
1145
01:07:06,957 --> 01:07:07,998
- Well, do you
conceive your creations
1146
01:07:07,999 --> 01:07:09,592
under the influence of drugs?
1147
01:07:09,918 --> 01:07:11,670
- Hey Swope,
whaddaya think of the Panthers?
1148
01:07:12,003 --> 01:07:13,546
- They look good
against the Bulldogs,
1149
01:07:13,547 --> 01:07:15,299
but they need more
depth at quarterback.
1150
01:07:15,632 --> 01:07:16,975
- Last night
between eight and 10 o'clock,
1151
01:07:17,300 --> 01:07:19,428
only 14% of the usual
amount of people,
1152
01:07:19,761 --> 01:07:21,559
left the house to buy
newspapers and ice cream.
1153
01:07:21,888 --> 01:07:23,180
Uh huh huh.
1154
01:07:23,181 --> 01:07:24,524
- In essence,
your commercials were so good
1155
01:07:24,850 --> 01:07:26,727
that nobody left the house to
buy anything or burn anything.
1156
01:07:27,060 --> 01:07:28,686
Uh would you comment on that?
1157
01:07:28,687 --> 01:07:31,156
- I think anything I would
say would just be redundant.
1158
01:07:31,481 --> 01:07:33,700
- Mr. Swope, where
have you been all these years?
1159
01:07:34,025 --> 01:07:35,025
Laying in the cut.
1160
01:07:35,026 --> 01:07:36,402
- Mr.
Putney, did you sleep
1161
01:07:36,403 --> 01:07:37,825
with your wife before
you married her'?
1162
01:07:38,155 --> 01:07:39,446
Not a wink.
1163
01:07:39,447 --> 01:07:40,739
- What
is your position
1164
01:07:40,740 --> 01:07:42,116
on the checkerboard of life?
1165
01:07:42,117 --> 01:07:43,494
- Is it true,
do you refuse to advertise
1166
01:07:43,827 --> 01:07:45,545
war toys, cigarettes
and alcoholic beverages?
1167
01:07:45,871 --> 01:07:47,496
You said it.
1168
01:07:47,497 --> 01:07:48,789
- Where did you
get the name Truth and Soul?
1169
01:07:48,790 --> 01:07:50,040
In the streets.
1170
01:07:50,041 --> 01:07:51,458
- Excuse
me, Mr. Swopes.
1171
01:07:51,459 --> 01:07:52,877
Gourmet magazine says your
commercials are tasteless
1172
01:07:52,878 --> 01:07:54,551
and that you should be censored.
1173
01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:57,724
Now my question is, in what
direction are you heading?
1174
01:07:58,049 --> 01:07:58,924
I'm goin' uptown.
1175
01:07:58,925 --> 01:08:00,268
Can I give anybody a lift?
1176
01:08:01,678 --> 01:08:03,021
Get off of my short, baby!
1177
01:08:03,346 --> 01:08:04,788
One more question!
1178
01:08:12,147 --> 01:08:13,490
You little bitch!
1179
01:08:13,815 --> 01:08:14,982
What are you doing out here?
1180
01:08:14,983 --> 01:08:17,031
Get your ass in that
house immediately.
1181
01:08:17,360 --> 01:08:18,506
Go on, move.
1182
01:08:19,279 --> 01:08:20,747
What do you think I
have you for anyway?
1183
01:08:21,072 --> 01:08:22,448
Come on!
1184
01:08:22,449 --> 01:08:25,419
Get in there you
motherfucker, get in!
1185
01:08:28,538 --> 01:08:31,633
- I believe Mr. Swope asked you
to use the freight elevator.
1186
01:08:31,958 --> 01:08:33,250
- Since when is
that your business?
1187
01:08:33,251 --> 01:08:34,477
Since right now.
1188
01:08:35,170 --> 01:08:36,754
And if I catch you using
that elevator again,
1189
01:08:36,755 --> 01:08:38,257
I'm gonna tell Mr. Swope.
1190
01:08:39,925 --> 01:08:43,555
♪ What's best for me
1191
01:08:43,887 --> 01:08:47,858
♪ Mother knows
what's best for me
1192
01:09:01,071 --> 01:09:02,112
Is that Mr. Swope?
1193
01:09:02,113 --> 01:09:03,113
That's him, baby.
1194
01:09:03,114 --> 01:09:04,260
" Oh!
1195
01:09:07,744 --> 01:09:08,661
Mr. Swope?
1196
01:09:08,662 --> 01:09:09,578
Putney.
1197
01:09:09,579 --> 01:09:11,957
Putney, Sonny Williams again.
1198
01:09:12,290 --> 01:09:14,509
He was a guest on Dating
Game and when he didn't win,
1199
01:09:14,834 --> 01:09:16,882
he stood up and
exposed himself again.
1200
01:09:17,212 --> 01:09:19,340
CBS went off the
air for seven hours.
1201
01:09:20,674 --> 01:09:22,446
- Bail him out and
get him in here.
1202
01:09:23,134 --> 01:09:25,808
- Oh Mr. Swope,
I'm Sister Basilica
1203
01:09:26,137 --> 01:09:28,060
and this here is Billy Reilly.
1204
01:09:28,390 --> 01:09:31,485
Billy's an orphan and
he wants to be your pal.
1205
01:09:31,810 --> 01:09:34,188
Now, if you want to be
Billy's pal all you have to do
1206
01:09:34,521 --> 01:09:36,068
is fill out the necessary papers
1207
01:09:36,398 --> 01:09:38,776
and take him out of the
settlement once a week.
1208
01:09:39,109 --> 01:09:40,907
Oh you know, you can
take him out to lunch,
1209
01:09:41,236 --> 01:09:42,653
or take him for a ride-
1210
01:09:42,654 --> 01:09:43,988
You're taking me for a ride.
1211
01:09:43,989 --> 01:09:45,761
Oh be a pal!
1212
01:09:47,117 --> 01:09:48,617
Shouldn't you be at school?
1213
01:09:48,618 --> 01:09:51,371
- Fuck you and fuck
the establishment.
1214
01:09:51,705 --> 01:09:53,332
And fuck you people
who are trying
1215
01:09:53,665 --> 01:09:56,214
to make me part of the
unestablished establishment.
1216
01:09:56,543 --> 01:09:58,511
- All right, I'll pick you
up tomorrow at 11 o'clock.
1217
01:09:58,837 --> 01:10:01,556
I'll take you to the zoo, then
we'll go to the ball game.
1218
01:10:01,881 --> 01:10:04,054
- Why don't you just adopt
me and get it over with?
1219
01:10:04,384 --> 01:10:05,806
Don't push me, pal.
1220
01:10:06,136 --> 01:10:08,138
- Whatever you decide,
don't do it out of guilt.
1221
01:10:13,143 --> 01:10:14,289
Oh Bless you!
1222
01:10:15,979 --> 01:10:17,731
If this stiff comes
through we have it made.
1223
01:10:18,064 --> 01:10:19,460
Come on.
1224
01:10:21,735 --> 01:10:25,581
- Brother, you were voted
in here on a jive hummer.
1225
01:10:25,905 --> 01:10:29,785
Now how, when, are
things gonna happen, man?
1226
01:10:30,118 --> 01:10:32,291
Your whole cart has been peeped.
1227
01:10:32,620 --> 01:10:34,204
When are thing gonna
start to change?
1228
01:10:34,205 --> 01:10:36,253
Where's the revolution
you were talking about?
1229
01:10:36,583 --> 01:10:39,928
There ain't nothing happening,
there is no revolution
1230
01:10:40,253 --> 01:10:42,631
the way you're running
this joint, man.
1231
01:10:42,964 --> 01:10:44,682
Now, when is something
gonna happen?
1232
01:10:45,008 --> 01:10:45,966
When are you gonna do it?
1233
01:10:45,967 --> 01:10:47,593
When and how, what day?
1234
01:10:47,594 --> 01:10:49,141
Gimmie a time, man.
1235
01:10:49,471 --> 01:10:52,315
Show me how progress
is gonna be made.
1236
01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:54,266
There ain't no progress the
way this is running now.
1237
01:10:54,267 --> 01:10:56,065
- Putney, this is
Sonny Williams.
1238
01:10:59,022 --> 01:11:00,990
- Whadddya got to
say for yourself, Sonny?
1239
01:11:11,117 --> 01:11:12,710
Don't feel bad, it's okay.
1240
01:11:20,752 --> 01:11:22,023
Come on.
1241
01:11:26,925 --> 01:11:29,929
- Now there's a man
who is doing something.
1242
01:11:30,261 --> 01:11:33,140
That is a revolution,
man, don't you understand?
1243
01:11:33,473 --> 01:11:35,099
When are you gonna start?
1244
01:11:35,100 --> 01:11:36,602
When are you gonna do something?
1245
01:11:46,319 --> 01:11:48,321
- Putney, the President
of the United States wants
1246
01:11:48,655 --> 01:11:49,947
to see you in three hours.
1247
01:11:49,948 --> 01:11:51,323
He says he'll meet you halfway
1248
01:11:51,324 --> 01:11:52,667
so it's all set
for Philadelphia.
1249
01:11:52,992 --> 01:11:53,909
Mr. Swope?
1250
01:11:53,910 --> 01:11:55,306
Mark Focus.
1251
01:11:57,956 --> 01:12:00,880
I did this for Hertz,
that's Colgate,
1252
01:12:01,209 --> 01:12:02,731
that's Nabisco, that's IBM.
1253
01:12:04,087 --> 01:12:05,430
Did this for Mr. Swope.
1254
01:12:06,631 --> 01:12:08,178
That's Rockefeller.
1255
01:12:08,508 --> 01:12:09,885
That's Rockefeller.
1256
01:12:10,218 --> 01:12:11,561
- What are
you gonna do for me?
1257
01:12:11,886 --> 01:12:14,059
What are you, nuts?
1258
01:12:17,016 --> 01:12:18,734
- We made it, Put,
it's phenomenal.
1259
01:12:19,060 --> 01:12:21,438
We've thrown a tremendous hump
into the cooling industry.
1260
01:12:21,771 --> 01:12:23,318
- Who told you to
open your mouth?
1261
01:12:23,648 --> 01:12:25,776
- No one,
it just happened.
1262
01:12:26,109 --> 01:12:27,234
All right.
1263
01:12:27,235 --> 01:12:28,861
I created Face Off.
1264
01:12:28,862 --> 01:12:31,957
I conceived the Borman Six and
don't forget the mousetrap.
1265
01:12:32,282 --> 01:12:33,659
The rest of you
people took old ideas
1266
01:12:33,992 --> 01:12:35,619
and broken down concepts
and embellished them
1267
01:12:35,952 --> 01:12:37,670
with a sense of show business.
1268
01:12:37,996 --> 01:12:39,329
But that's not enough.
1269
01:12:39,330 --> 01:12:40,873
When I see things
that ain't fresh,
1270
01:12:40,874 --> 01:12:42,501
I get butterflies in my ulcer.
1271
01:12:42,834 --> 01:12:44,293
So from now on,
you got to come up
1272
01:12:44,294 --> 01:12:46,171
with completely
original fantasies.
1273
01:12:46,504 --> 01:12:47,926
Stop looking at the tube.
1274
01:12:48,256 --> 01:12:49,974
Stop reading magazines
and newspapers,
1275
01:12:50,300 --> 01:12:51,847
and don't talk to strangers.
1276
01:12:52,177 --> 01:12:52,926
And don't-
1277
01:12:52,927 --> 01:12:54,470
Mr. Swope?
1278
01:12:54,471 --> 01:12:55,814
Get on the freight elevator.
1279
01:14:07,252 --> 01:14:09,050
Get rid of him.
1280
01:14:09,379 --> 01:14:11,302
- What do want me
to do with him?
1281
01:14:11,631 --> 01:14:13,599
- Get him a
gig with the President.
1282
01:14:38,741 --> 01:14:40,117
First day on the job
1283
01:14:40,118 --> 01:14:41,870
and you get to meet
President Mimeo.
1284
01:14:42,203 --> 01:14:43,546
I'll take him off.
1285
01:16:00,615 --> 01:16:03,289
- How do you like my
demonstrators, Swope?
1286
01:16:03,618 --> 01:16:05,118
I put them in front
of your building,
1287
01:16:05,119 --> 01:16:06,541
'cause you won't
advertise cigarettes,
1288
01:16:06,871 --> 01:16:09,044
war toys, and
alcoholic beverages.
1289
01:16:09,374 --> 01:16:11,217
And that's discrimination.
1290
01:16:11,542 --> 01:16:15,012
I also hear you flipped
over the Borman Six.
1291
01:16:15,338 --> 01:16:16,713
Bum trip Swope.
1292
01:16:16,714 --> 01:16:18,933
If you keep discriminating
against those products,
1293
01:16:19,258 --> 01:16:21,056
I'm gonna keep up
the demonstration.
1294
01:16:21,386 --> 01:16:22,979
It's a small world, Swope.
1295
01:16:23,304 --> 01:16:24,496
Don't cross me.
1296
01:16:27,767 --> 01:16:29,144
Let's move out.
1297
01:16:29,477 --> 01:16:30,602
Say please.
1298
01:16:30,603 --> 01:16:32,150
I said move out!
1299
01:16:37,318 --> 01:16:39,696
Back to welfare, Trigger.
1300
01:16:40,029 --> 01:16:41,630
Okay, move out.
1301
01:16:42,907 --> 01:16:44,625
- Rent yourself
a short, schmuck!
1302
01:17:08,015 --> 01:17:09,433
" Hin!
1303
01:17:09,434 --> 01:17:11,027
My word, Hing!
1304
01:17:11,352 --> 01:17:14,196
Maybe Hingleberry or Hingsaurio.
1305
01:17:14,522 --> 01:17:15,439
Hing spells nothing,
1306
01:17:15,440 --> 01:17:17,283
begins nothing
possible unto Webster.
1307
01:17:17,608 --> 01:17:20,157
It is my very, very own Hing!
1308
01:17:20,486 --> 01:17:22,079
Hing in the teeth of the wind,
1309
01:17:22,405 --> 01:17:24,407
and in the faces of
governments and men.
1310
01:17:24,741 --> 01:17:26,074
Hing!
1311
01:17:26,075 --> 01:17:28,419
Hing uninvited, hing unexcited,
1312
01:17:29,537 --> 01:17:31,414
Hing retiring into
his own Hinghood!
1313
01:17:31,748 --> 01:17:34,922
I built a wooden Hing
once and fooled no one.
1314
01:17:35,251 --> 01:17:38,255
I painted Hing in oils
and ran out of canvas.
1315
01:17:38,588 --> 01:17:41,137
But I shall follow
wherever Hing lead,
1316
01:17:41,466 --> 01:17:44,436
till Hing vanish into darkness.
1317
01:17:49,390 --> 01:17:50,733
My word, Hing!
1318
01:17:51,058 --> 01:17:52,685
- Get everybody into
the conference room.
1319
01:17:53,019 --> 01:17:54,269
Got it.
1320
01:17:54,270 --> 01:17:55,336
Hing!
1321
01:17:56,981 --> 01:17:58,565
Put that out.
1322
01:17:58,566 --> 01:18:00,568
- Lunger cigarettes
Swope, whaddaya say?
1323
01:18:00,902 --> 01:18:02,068
Daly War Toys.
1324
01:18:02,069 --> 01:18:03,695
We just came out with a new game
1325
01:18:03,696 --> 01:18:06,119
called Cops and Demonstrators.
1326
01:18:06,449 --> 01:18:07,616
Bull Connor Bourbon.
1327
01:18:07,617 --> 01:18:08,994
You name the price, Swope.
1328
01:18:09,327 --> 01:18:11,045
- Lunger cigarettes,
Swope, what do you say?
1329
01:18:11,370 --> 01:18:12,454
Ethereal Cereal.
1330
01:18:12,455 --> 01:18:14,181
You saved me.
1331
01:18:28,054 --> 01:18:29,513
Fill this up.
1332
01:18:29,514 --> 01:18:31,366
Right.
1333
01:19:04,632 --> 01:19:06,225
- I want everybody to drop
whatever they're doing,
1334
01:19:06,551 --> 01:19:07,801
and start thinking up ideas
1335
01:19:07,802 --> 01:19:11,022
for Bull Connor Bourbon,
Lunger cigarettes
1336
01:19:11,347 --> 01:19:14,021
and a new game called
Cops and Demonstrators.
1337
01:19:14,350 --> 01:19:15,852
- I thought you said we
wasn't gonna advertise
1338
01:19:16,185 --> 01:19:17,602
that kind of stuff.
1339
01:19:17,603 --> 01:19:18,980
I changed my mind.
1340
01:19:19,313 --> 01:19:21,657
- I thought only women
changed their mind.
1341
01:19:21,983 --> 01:19:23,576
The man's copping out.
1342
01:19:23,901 --> 01:19:24,860
What you say?
1343
01:19:24,861 --> 01:19:26,408
I said you're a cop-out.
1344
01:19:26,737 --> 01:19:28,205
Get out of here!
1345
01:19:28,531 --> 01:19:30,053
And don't come back either.
1346
01:19:30,700 --> 01:19:32,142
Shit.
1347
01:19:36,080 --> 01:19:37,539
You're a punk.
1348
01:19:37,540 --> 01:19:39,759
If you wasn't my
brother, I'd kill you.
1349
01:19:41,836 --> 01:19:44,555
- I want these campaigns
ready by five o'clock sharp.
1350
01:19:44,881 --> 01:19:46,258
- Are you sure
you wanna do this?
1351
01:19:46,591 --> 01:19:48,067
I already done it.
1352
01:19:48,843 --> 01:19:50,436
What do you really wanna do?
1353
01:19:50,761 --> 01:19:52,559
Advertise garbage
or do what's right?
1354
01:19:53,931 --> 01:19:55,202
Both.
1355
01:20:03,816 --> 01:20:05,317
The man's a genius.
1356
01:20:05,318 --> 01:20:06,651
Good people.
1357
01:20:06,652 --> 01:20:08,069
I tested them but
they did not cop.
1358
01:20:08,070 --> 01:20:09,947
- You mean that
whole scene was a put-on?
1359
01:20:10,281 --> 01:20:11,882
That's right.
1360
01:20:19,624 --> 01:20:21,501
- There's eight
million and change here.
1361
01:20:21,834 --> 01:20:23,928
- Figure what's left and
divide it up equally.
1362
01:20:24,253 --> 01:20:26,756
Forget the messengers
and forget the Arab.
1363
01:20:27,089 --> 01:20:28,716
- Beautiful,
baby, beautiful!
1364
01:20:30,343 --> 01:20:33,017
- Putney, if you wanna
push cigarettes and booze,
1365
01:20:33,346 --> 01:20:34,763
it's all right with me.
1366
01:20:34,764 --> 01:20:35,805
That's right.
1367
01:20:35,806 --> 01:20:37,808
- Putney, I don't care
what you advertise,
1368
01:20:38,142 --> 01:20:40,315
as long as I get my raise.
1369
01:20:40,645 --> 01:20:42,818
- Brother, if you
wanna advertise crap,
1370
01:20:43,856 --> 01:20:45,548
that's your prerogative.
1371
01:20:45,900 --> 01:20:47,243
You're my man.
1372
01:20:47,568 --> 01:20:48,714
That's right.
1373
01:20:49,528 --> 01:20:50,737
I'm with you, Put.
1374
01:20:50,738 --> 01:20:53,457
Whatever the hell you
wanna do, I'm with you.
1375
01:20:53,783 --> 01:20:55,408
You're a genius, Putney.
1376
01:20:55,409 --> 01:20:56,976
Do your thing.
1377
01:21:30,361 --> 01:21:33,581
- Putney, I hear you're
splitting up the money equally.
1378
01:21:33,906 --> 01:21:35,448
That's good.
1379
01:21:35,449 --> 01:21:36,996
How did you find out?
1380
01:21:37,326 --> 01:21:38,910
The drum.
1381
01:21:38,911 --> 01:21:40,709
- The drum should have told
you, you ain't getting a penny.
1382
01:21:41,038 --> 01:21:44,258
- If I don't get my piece by
sundown, your ass is mine.
1383
01:22:00,850 --> 01:22:03,820
Hey, do you have
my bread, brother?
1384
01:22:04,145 --> 01:22:06,864
- The man says
you gets nothing, Arab.
1385
01:22:07,189 --> 01:22:08,523
What?
1386
01:22:08,524 --> 01:22:09,941
Man, you better get
your story straight.
1387
01:22:09,942 --> 01:22:10,984
What you talking about?
1388
01:22:10,985 --> 01:22:13,829
The drum says equal
shares for everybody.
1389
01:22:14,155 --> 01:22:15,780
And everybody means me.
1390
01:22:15,781 --> 01:22:17,158
Don't you understand, mister?
1391
01:22:17,491 --> 01:22:19,084
So come out your dream world
1392
01:22:19,410 --> 01:22:21,287
and get your story
straight, man.
1393
01:22:21,620 --> 01:22:23,121
Before I get hot here and I have
1394
01:22:23,122 --> 01:22:25,420
to tell my cousin
Sirhan Saran Wrap.
1395
01:22:25,750 --> 01:22:29,380
- The man
says you gets nothing.
1396
01:22:29,712 --> 01:22:31,555
You gets nothing.
1397
01:22:36,969 --> 01:22:41,065
- The man said I get
nothing, then I gets nothing.
1398
01:22:44,727 --> 01:22:46,144
You got a light?
1399
01:22:46,145 --> 01:22:47,988
Right.
1400
01:22:52,151 --> 01:22:53,494
Bonzai!
1401
01:22:53,819 --> 01:22:54,920
Bonzai!
98371
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