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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,329 --> 00:00:36,163 "I found out long ago" 2 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:42,498 "It's a long way down a Holiday Road" 3 00:00:56,085 --> 00:00:58,836 "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick" 4 00:01:01,170 --> 00:01:04,502 "Going to take a ride to the West Coast, kids" 5 00:01:05,835 --> 00:01:08,503 "Holiday Road!" 6 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,795 "Holiday Road!" 7 00:01:16,172 --> 00:01:20,132 "Holiday Road!" 8 00:01:21,173 --> 00:01:25,133 "Holiday Road!" 9 00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:40,594 "I found out long ago" 10 00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:47,556 "It's a long way down a Holiday Road" 11 00:01:47,889 --> 00:01:50,557 "Holiday Road" 12 00:01:53,099 --> 00:01:55,766 "Holiday Road" 13 00:01:58,226 --> 00:02:00,848 "Holiday Road" 14 00:02:38,316 --> 00:02:40,985 Clark Griswold. I'm trading my wife's old car in. 15 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:44,278 Say good-bye to the old gas-guzzler, Russ! 16 00:02:46,446 --> 00:02:48,070 It's pretty exciting, isn't it, Rusty? 17 00:02:48,487 --> 00:02:49,195 What's that, Dad? 18 00:02:49,279 --> 00:02:50,238 Picking up the new car! 19 00:02:52,113 --> 00:02:53,281 You can't wait, can you? 20 00:02:54,614 --> 00:02:55,319 Hi there, Ed! 21 00:02:55,570 --> 00:02:56,737 Good to see you, Mr. Griswold! 22 00:02:56,820 --> 00:02:58,112 How are you doing? Rubin right? 23 00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:59,320 Rusty. 24 00:03:00,196 --> 00:03:01,196 Look at him. He can't wait. 25 00:03:01,488 --> 00:03:02,946 So, did you bring your trade-in? 26 00:03:03,322 --> 00:03:05,114 Yes, a guy just took it away a couple of seconds ago. 27 00:03:05,531 --> 00:03:07,157 Well, let's get to it, then. 28 00:03:07,823 --> 00:03:09,782 We were worried that the new car might not be ready yet. 29 00:03:09,866 --> 00:03:12,159 We're on our way to California in the morning... 30 00:03:12,242 --> 00:03:14,242 ...big vacation, the whole family, Walley World... 31 00:03:14,326 --> 00:03:15,992 Walley World? Very exciting, Clyde. 32 00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:16,992 Clark. 33 00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:18,368 Well, there she is. 34 00:03:19,327 --> 00:03:19,951 Where? 35 00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:21,702 Right here. The wagon. 36 00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:24,287 Dad, this is not the car you ordered! 37 00:03:25,329 --> 00:03:26,162 Take it easy, Rusty. 38 00:03:26,495 --> 00:03:28,455 Ed, this is not the car I ordered. 39 00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:33,621 I distinctly ordered the Antarctic Blue, Super Sportswagon... 40 00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:36,122 ...with the C.B. and the optional Rally fun pack. 41 00:03:37,498 --> 00:03:39,416 You didn't order the Metallic Pea? 42 00:03:39,832 --> 00:03:42,708 Metallic Pea? No, Antarctic Blue. 43 00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:44,250 The Sportswagon. 44 00:03:44,334 --> 00:03:45,376 This isn't even the right model! 45 00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:49,461 You know, I think you're right. I don't think this is the car. 46 00:03:49,544 --> 00:03:51,503 This is the new Wagonqueen Family Truckster. 47 00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:55,251 This is a fine automobile, if you want my honest opinion. 48 00:03:55,376 --> 00:03:57,209 It beats the hell out of the Sportswagon but... 49 00:03:57,293 --> 00:03:58,877 ...I want to make you happy. 50 00:03:59,210 --> 00:03:59,835 Davenport! 51 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:01,502 I'll get to the bottom of this. 52 00:04:03,919 --> 00:04:06,422 Mr. Griswold ordered a blue Sportswagon. Where is it? 53 00:04:07,255 --> 00:04:08,255 I don't know, sir. 54 00:04:11,713 --> 00:04:14,381 I know what must have happened! 55 00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:15,840 It didn't come in! 56 00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:20,508 Ed, I'm not your ordinary, everyday fool. Okay? 57 00:04:21,883 --> 00:04:25,051 Now, I'd like my Antarctic Blue Super Sportswagon right now. 58 00:04:25,092 --> 00:04:27,926 If you can't get it for me, I'm going to take my business elsewhere! 59 00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:29,926 Where's my old car? 60 00:04:34,304 --> 00:04:36,305 I'm just as upset as you are. Believe me. 61 00:04:36,971 --> 00:04:37,971 Davenport! 62 00:04:38,638 --> 00:04:41,597 Get Mr. Griswold's car back! Bring it back here! 63 00:04:47,807 --> 00:04:49,805 And I can get you the wagon, there's no problem there. 64 00:04:49,972 --> 00:04:51,556 The problem is, it might take six weeks. 65 00:04:52,639 --> 00:04:54,723 Now, I owe it to myself to tell you, Mr. Griswold... 66 00:04:55,098 --> 00:04:57,682 ...if you're thinking of taking the tribe cross-country... 67 00:04:57,766 --> 00:04:59,724 ...this is the automobile you should be using. 68 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,559 The Wagonqueen Family Truckster. 69 00:05:02,142 --> 00:05:04,644 You think you hate it now, but wait until you drive it. 70 00:05:05,144 --> 00:05:07,894 I don't want to drive it. I just want my old car back, okay? 71 00:05:08,644 --> 00:05:09,977 I'm not falling for this bit. 72 00:05:10,228 --> 00:05:11,937 No way. Let's go, Russ. 73 00:05:45,652 --> 00:05:46,944 Clark, is that the right car? 74 00:05:47,361 --> 00:05:49,694 No, it isn't, honey. I changed my mind. 75 00:05:50,653 --> 00:05:52,612 They flattened our old car like a pancake. 76 00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:55,489 Are you serious? Is this really our car, Dad? 77 00:05:57,322 --> 00:06:00,032 What happened? I thought we were going to get the little Sportswagon. 78 00:06:00,366 --> 00:06:02,824 Oh, no! The Sportswagon's much too small. 79 00:06:03,158 --> 00:06:04,615 Besides, I got a great deal on this one. 80 00:06:05,367 --> 00:06:09,326 Believe me, we're taking the whole tribe across country. 81 00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:11,034 This is your automobile. 82 00:06:13,035 --> 00:06:14,077 Why is it still running? 83 00:06:15,035 --> 00:06:16,495 Oh, all new cars do that. 84 00:06:16,869 --> 00:06:18,328 I'll take care of that in a second. 85 00:06:21,371 --> 00:06:24,079 You may think you hate it now, but wait until you drive it. 86 00:06:26,871 --> 00:06:28,248 An air bag! 87 00:06:28,705 --> 00:06:31,748 You know, Clark, it's not too late to fly out to California. 88 00:06:32,082 --> 00:06:33,166 We only have two weeks. 89 00:06:33,541 --> 00:06:35,500 Let's not get into that again, sweet pie. Please? 90 00:06:36,708 --> 00:06:40,043 Lots of families fly, Clark. Especially cross-country. 91 00:06:40,876 --> 00:06:44,833 The idea of a family vacation is to be together as a family. 92 00:06:45,041 --> 00:06:49,000 On a plane, you put on earphones and you're lost in your own world. 93 00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:51,835 It's a very long drive, Clark. 94 00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:54,169 I'm looking forward to a long drive. 95 00:06:54,336 --> 00:06:56,087 You get to see the kids all the time! 96 00:06:57,380 --> 00:07:00,172 I only see them a few minutes in the mornings and evenings... 97 00:07:00,297 --> 00:07:01,921 ...and a few hours on the weekends. 98 00:07:02,754 --> 00:07:07,382 Someday I'll wake up and realize my babies have grown up! 99 00:07:07,756 --> 00:07:08,714 And then what? 100 00:07:09,631 --> 00:07:12,966 I just thought it would be easier to fly. 101 00:07:13,424 --> 00:07:15,758 Nothing that is worthwhile is easy, Ellen. 102 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:17,801 We know that. 103 00:07:18,968 --> 00:07:19,633 Kids? 104 00:07:21,260 --> 00:07:22,592 Do you want to see the trip plan? 105 00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:24,761 Not now, we're playing a game! 106 00:07:25,262 --> 00:07:26,553 Okay, shut off the video games. 107 00:07:26,928 --> 00:07:28,263 Come on, Russ. Shut it off. 108 00:07:29,263 --> 00:07:32,139 I know you'll enjoy this. I've worked out the whole trip on the computer... 109 00:07:32,430 --> 00:07:35,306 ...so that we get the maximum amount of fun time at Walley World... 110 00:07:35,390 --> 00:07:37,431 ...without missing any of the good stuff along the way. 111 00:07:38,429 --> 00:07:39,804 Here we go! There's us. 112 00:07:40,138 --> 00:07:41,930 And there's Walley World! 113 00:07:42,805 --> 00:07:45,265 Now, let's just take a look at Day One. Shall we? 114 00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:47,014 Honey, come on in! We're going to do Day One! 115 00:07:53,017 --> 00:07:56,685 Okay, now, there's the Family Truckster as we leave Chicago. 116 00:08:01,853 --> 00:08:04,019 Rusty, please, do not eat the Truckster! 117 00:08:05,812 --> 00:08:09,272 Russ, do you mind? I'm trying to work this out here on the computer. 118 00:08:11,147 --> 00:08:13,772 Okay, Audrey. Thank you, Audrey. That's just great. 119 00:08:16,023 --> 00:08:17,356 Look out, Dad, here I come. 120 00:08:18,022 --> 00:08:20,023 All right, that's enough, Russ. 121 00:08:20,481 --> 00:08:21,941 Okay, now, I think we're moving further... 122 00:08:22,817 --> 00:08:23,775 Good shot, Audrey. 123 00:08:24,151 --> 00:08:25,483 Dad, I forgot. Why aren't we flying? 124 00:08:26,693 --> 00:08:30,361 Because getting there is half the fun! You know that! 125 00:08:33,154 --> 00:08:35,817 I turned off the water, the stove, the heat and the air. 126 00:08:36,193 --> 00:08:38,484 Locked the door and notified the police. Stopped the newspapers. 127 00:08:38,568 --> 00:08:40,027 I called to get the grass cut. 128 00:08:40,111 --> 00:08:42,194 Did I put the timers on the living room lights? 129 00:08:43,028 --> 00:08:44,528 Don't forget the mail... 130 00:08:49,573 --> 00:08:50,323 So long! 131 00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:51,865 Drive careful now, Clark! 132 00:08:55,198 --> 00:08:56,406 Watch those freeways! 133 00:08:57,532 --> 00:08:58,490 Good-bye! 134 00:08:59,074 --> 00:09:00,742 I know I've forgotten something. 135 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:03,409 Walley World, here we come! 136 00:09:15,245 --> 00:09:18,580 "Mockingbird, tell me, everybody 137 00:09:18,913 --> 00:09:20,247 "Have you heard? 138 00:09:20,497 --> 00:09:23,081 "He's gonna buy me... 139 00:09:23,456 --> 00:09:24,790 "A mockingbird 140 00:09:25,124 --> 00:09:28,458 "And if that mockingbird don't sing 141 00:09:28,791 --> 00:09:32,956 "He's gonna buy me a diamond ring 142 00:09:33,414 --> 00:09:37,207 "And if that diamond ring don't shine 143 00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:41,126 "He's surely gonna break this heart of mine 144 00:09:41,251 --> 00:09:44,585 "And that's why I keep on singin' 145 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:46,253 "Did you hear now..." 146 00:09:49,462 --> 00:09:50,254 Come on, kids. 147 00:09:50,586 --> 00:09:51,545 We don't know any of your songs! 148 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,628 Dad, is that made up? It sounds made up! 149 00:09:54,087 --> 00:09:55,130 I know a song! 150 00:09:55,463 --> 00:09:59,131 How about "The Walley World National Anthem"? 151 00:10:00,131 --> 00:10:01,131 Okay, you start it. 152 00:10:01,798 --> 00:10:06,382 "Who's the moosiest moose we know? Marty Moose! 153 00:10:06,966 --> 00:10:10,300 "Who's the star of our favorite show? Marty Moose! 154 00:10:10,674 --> 00:10:13,633 " 'M' is for merry, we're merry, you see 155 00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:17,469 " 'O' is for 'O' gosh! 'O' golly! 'O' gee! 156 00:10:17,719 --> 00:10:21,137 " 'S' is for super-swell family glee 157 00:10:21,470 --> 00:10:24,804 " 'E' is for everything you want to be 158 00:10:25,346 --> 00:10:28,303 "M-A-R-T-Y 159 00:10:29,304 --> 00:10:32,512 "M-O-O-S-E 160 00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:34,013 "What's that spell? 161 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:37,347 "Marty Moose, Marty Moose, Marty Moose 162 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,514 "That's me!" 163 00:10:41,931 --> 00:10:43,309 All right! That's more like it! 164 00:10:44,017 --> 00:10:45,184 Here's one you don't know. 165 00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:47,475 We used to sing it when you were little kids. 166 00:10:48,641 --> 00:10:50,768 "Jimmy crack corn And I don't care..." 167 00:11:13,274 --> 00:11:16,150 "Swing low... 168 00:11:16,192 --> 00:11:19,193 "Sweet chariot... 169 00:11:20,359 --> 00:11:22,318 "Comin' for to carry me home 170 00:11:25,691 --> 00:11:28,068 "I looked over Jordan and what did I see? 171 00:11:28,276 --> 00:11:29,734 "Comin' for to carry me home" 172 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:33,568 What smells in here, honey? 173 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,569 Russ! Russ! Your feet. 174 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,169 Isn't this the gas tank? 175 00:12:37,293 --> 00:12:38,169 Yes, I know, honey. 176 00:12:38,669 --> 00:12:41,669 Get in the car. I'm just fixing the license plate. 177 00:12:47,796 --> 00:12:49,088 Do you see that, kids? 178 00:12:49,337 --> 00:12:52,296 That's the St. Louis Arch. The Gateway to the West. 179 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:56,131 It's over 600 feet tall, and there's an elevator all the way to the top. 180 00:12:58,799 --> 00:13:00,132 Dad, can we go up on it? 181 00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:01,091 No. 182 00:13:01,757 --> 00:13:02,966 Dad, what river is this? 183 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,425 That's the Mississippi. The mighty Mississip. 184 00:13:07,802 --> 00:13:08,802 The old Miss... 185 00:13:09,301 --> 00:13:11,261 The old man... 186 00:13:21,344 --> 00:13:23,095 Clark, I think this is the wrong exit. 187 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,220 What's the difference, as long as we get across the river? 188 00:13:37,058 --> 00:13:38,391 Clark? What are you doing? 189 00:13:39,683 --> 00:13:40,558 Just relax, Ellen. 190 00:13:40,891 --> 00:13:42,225 This is so dangerous! 191 00:13:42,684 --> 00:13:45,309 We have no business being in an area like this! 192 00:13:46,935 --> 00:13:48,853 This is a part of America we never get to see. 193 00:13:49,227 --> 00:13:50,061 That's good! 194 00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:51,353 No, that's bad. 195 00:13:51,728 --> 00:13:54,062 We can't close our eyes to the plight of the cities. 196 00:13:55,146 --> 00:13:56,728 Kids, are you noticing all this plight? 197 00:13:58,229 --> 00:14:00,229 This will just make us appreciate what we have. 198 00:14:01,731 --> 00:14:02,565 Roll them up! 199 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,276 I'd better ask these fellows how to get back on the expressway. 200 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,109 I wonder if you could tell me how to get back on the expressway? 201 00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:22,025 Fuck your mama! 202 00:14:22,192 --> 00:14:23,359 Thank you very much! 203 00:14:37,114 --> 00:14:38,738 Hey, excuse me? 204 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:43,615 What it is, bro'! We're from out of town. 205 00:14:44,365 --> 00:14:45,282 No shit? 206 00:14:45,782 --> 00:14:47,366 Listen, I'd really appreciate it if you could... 207 00:14:47,491 --> 00:14:50,200 ...give me directions back onto the expressway. 208 00:14:50,492 --> 00:14:51,701 What? For free? 209 00:14:52,367 --> 00:14:53,118 Sure. 210 00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:54,701 Five dollars. 211 00:14:55,784 --> 00:14:57,452 I'm not going to give you $5 for directions! 212 00:14:57,828 --> 00:14:59,411 I think that's fair, Clark. 213 00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:03,413 Okay. Here's $10. 214 00:15:07,789 --> 00:15:08,914 Keep the change. 215 00:15:09,956 --> 00:15:12,412 You see which way you're pointing? 216 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:15,580 You see that place? 217 00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:18,914 Do you see the sign, "Rib Tips"? 218 00:15:20,457 --> 00:15:22,165 Well, fuck that, you don't want to go that way. 219 00:15:22,457 --> 00:15:24,124 I wonder if these guys know The Commodores. 220 00:15:25,666 --> 00:15:27,585 You go half a block down the street... 221 00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:29,668 ...and you'll see a Torino with no wheels on it. 222 00:15:30,168 --> 00:15:32,835 Inside that Torino is my cousin, Jackie. 223 00:15:33,501 --> 00:15:35,836 Tell him that you're my boy, and that you're lost. 224 00:15:36,210 --> 00:15:37,628 He'll make sure you get where you're going. 225 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:40,128 You don't want to know from me. I'm not from this neighborhood. 226 00:15:40,837 --> 00:15:43,504 I'm from the west side of Chicago, here on vacation. 227 00:15:43,963 --> 00:15:45,630 Thanks a lot. You've been a great help. 228 00:15:47,505 --> 00:15:50,130 "I'm Mister Blue 229 00:15:50,839 --> 00:15:52,798 "When you say you love me..." 230 00:15:53,131 --> 00:15:54,048 Honey? 231 00:15:56,592 --> 00:15:58,259 Remember when we were in college... 232 00:15:58,342 --> 00:16:01,010 ...and drove to Fort Lauderdale in my Austin Healy? 233 00:16:02,052 --> 00:16:04,343 I haven't thought about that for a long time. 234 00:16:06,511 --> 00:16:08,468 Remember what we did in the car? 235 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:11,342 It's amazing we didn't get into an accident. 236 00:16:12,343 --> 00:16:13,844 Want to relive a fond memory? 237 00:16:14,052 --> 00:16:15,511 Are you serious? 238 00:16:16,386 --> 00:16:17,344 No! 239 00:16:17,636 --> 00:16:18,595 Why not? 240 00:16:18,679 --> 00:16:20,304 Because, that's why. 241 00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:22,973 The kids are asleep. 242 00:16:23,514 --> 00:16:25,682 Let's just wait until we get to a motel. 243 00:16:30,016 --> 00:16:34,183 Okay, we'll wait. I'll find the best one on the road. 244 00:16:34,850 --> 00:16:36,225 Do you want to put your head in my lap? 245 00:16:36,893 --> 00:16:37,851 It's not what I was thinking. 246 00:16:39,435 --> 00:16:41,435 Let me adjust the steering wheel. 247 00:16:43,519 --> 00:16:45,227 There you go, out of your way. 248 00:16:46,311 --> 00:16:47,561 Comfortable? 249 00:16:50,103 --> 00:16:50,771 Clark? 250 00:16:51,813 --> 00:16:52,938 My head's stuck. 251 00:16:57,398 --> 00:16:58,690 Quit kidding around! It hurts! 252 00:16:59,273 --> 00:17:00,274 I'm not. It's stuck. 253 00:17:01,274 --> 00:17:02,733 Cut it out! 254 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,523 I know what you're trying to do, and I think it's sick! 255 00:17:09,732 --> 00:17:11,066 The wheel's stuck, honey! 256 00:17:13,316 --> 00:17:14,859 That was a dirty trick! 257 00:17:15,275 --> 00:17:16,609 The damn wheel is all screwed up. 258 00:17:17,109 --> 00:17:19,569 You're tired. You get weird when you get tired. 259 00:17:19,903 --> 00:17:23,028 Let's just find a motel. I don't want you dozing off. 260 00:17:23,945 --> 00:17:25,320 I'm not tired. Are you kidding? 261 00:17:27,111 --> 00:17:29,780 I can drive for another 100 miles. 262 00:17:30,154 --> 00:17:31,781 No problem. 263 00:17:35,782 --> 00:17:37,949 "I stay at home at night 264 00:17:40,491 --> 00:17:43,449 "By the phone at night 265 00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:46,408 "But you don't call 266 00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:50,410 "And I won't hurt my pride 267 00:17:52,161 --> 00:17:55,496 "Call me Mister Blue 268 00:17:56,954 --> 00:17:58,246 "I'm Mister Blue without you" 269 00:18:39,213 --> 00:18:43,547 Sparky, why don't you turn off the TV and come to bed? 270 00:18:45,882 --> 00:18:46,633 Okay, honey. 271 00:19:07,260 --> 00:19:08,594 Well, wake up everyone. 272 00:19:09,094 --> 00:19:10,052 We're here. 273 00:19:34,519 --> 00:19:35,185 Clark! 274 00:19:36,768 --> 00:19:37,769 Can I do your back, honey? 275 00:19:37,935 --> 00:19:39,018 I've done it already. 276 00:19:39,852 --> 00:19:40,770 Can I do your front? 277 00:19:41,688 --> 00:19:42,688 Go do your own front. 278 00:19:48,731 --> 00:19:51,566 We should call Catherine and Eddie... 279 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,775 ...and tell them that we won't be in until tomorrow afternoon. 280 00:19:57,188 --> 00:20:00,398 If we're not there by 10:00 a.m., we'll be completely off schedule. 281 00:20:01,314 --> 00:20:02,774 I planned very carefully... 282 00:20:03,065 --> 00:20:05,483 ...so that we would be at Walley World early Saturday. 283 00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:10,694 Sparky, I know what this trip means to you... 284 00:20:11,235 --> 00:20:13,444 ...and that you want all of us to have a great time, but... 285 00:20:14,485 --> 00:20:16,403 ...it is a long way to Walley World. 286 00:20:17,570 --> 00:20:21,529 I think it would be easier on all of us if you would just try to relax. 287 00:20:24,154 --> 00:20:25,488 I'm way ahead of you, honey. 288 00:20:35,073 --> 00:20:36,199 When did you get these glasses? 289 00:20:36,533 --> 00:20:37,950 Oh, I have my little secrets. 290 00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:43,452 What a nice thought. 291 00:20:50,621 --> 00:20:51,454 Don't drink yet! 292 00:20:59,787 --> 00:21:00,538 Ready? 293 00:21:09,624 --> 00:21:11,374 I would like to propose a toast. 294 00:21:12,374 --> 00:21:15,000 To a very restful vacation. 295 00:21:17,251 --> 00:21:19,376 Here's to a very relaxing vacation. 296 00:21:20,334 --> 00:21:21,794 To a renewed love affair. 297 00:21:26,044 --> 00:21:27,879 To a time of joy with our kids. 298 00:21:31,713 --> 00:21:33,379 You know, I've never told you this. 299 00:21:34,298 --> 00:21:36,214 I know it's been a rough beginning. 300 00:21:36,298 --> 00:21:38,424 I think there's something wrong here! 301 00:21:38,507 --> 00:21:40,090 It's the bed. It will slow down in a second. 302 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:44,216 I got it! Here, hold on to these. 303 00:21:46,050 --> 00:21:47,092 What are you doing? 304 00:21:47,384 --> 00:21:48,799 Let's try this, my darling. 305 00:21:53,592 --> 00:21:55,509 We haven't done this in a long time. 306 00:21:59,843 --> 00:22:00,677 Oh! Clark! 307 00:22:02,178 --> 00:22:03,387 What's that noise? 308 00:22:03,512 --> 00:22:04,596 What's going on? 309 00:22:05,804 --> 00:22:07,387 Don't you kids knock anymore? 310 00:22:08,804 --> 00:22:10,597 Sorry, we thought you were fighting. 311 00:22:11,597 --> 00:22:12,972 No one is fighting in here. 312 00:22:15,806 --> 00:22:16,724 It is very late. 313 00:22:17,265 --> 00:22:18,432 Where is Mom? 314 00:22:18,683 --> 00:22:20,141 I'm under here, kids. 315 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:21,807 Go back to bed. 316 00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:24,142 Go back to bed now. 317 00:22:25,434 --> 00:22:26,892 The bed was very soft. 318 00:22:27,559 --> 00:22:28,933 Weirdo-rama! 319 00:22:33,479 --> 00:22:36,812 It's the same street Wyatt Earp kept law and order on. 320 00:22:37,313 --> 00:22:39,397 It seems kind of dirty and touristy. 321 00:22:40,564 --> 00:22:41,938 The Old West was dirty. 322 00:22:42,189 --> 00:22:43,773 Everything isn't like home. 323 00:22:43,981 --> 00:22:47,062 If it were, there would be no reason for leaving home, right, Rusty? 324 00:22:47,396 --> 00:22:48,854 Yeah, Dad. This is great. 325 00:22:48,937 --> 00:22:50,647 I'm glad we didn't go to Hawaii. 326 00:22:50,813 --> 00:22:51,731 I'll bet you are. 327 00:22:59,525 --> 00:23:00,651 Okay, let's go get a drink. 328 00:23:09,402 --> 00:23:10,903 Howdy, city slickers! 329 00:23:11,236 --> 00:23:14,696 Welcome! No fighting, cussing or gunslinging. 330 00:23:14,987 --> 00:23:17,988 Watch what you say to our bartender. He's ornery. 331 00:23:18,988 --> 00:23:19,946 Thank you, sheriff. 332 00:23:20,238 --> 00:23:21,281 Marshal. 333 00:23:24,114 --> 00:23:25,198 Give me five, partner! 334 00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:32,784 That guy was a crummy Wyatt Earp! He's wearing jogging shoes! 335 00:23:32,992 --> 00:23:34,160 Nah, they used to, Rusty. 336 00:23:34,702 --> 00:23:37,703 Hey, knucklehead! Set us up with four red-eyes, will you? 337 00:23:39,827 --> 00:23:41,825 Hey, yellow-belly! I'm talking to you! 338 00:23:45,826 --> 00:23:48,620 Hey, tenderfoot! Move your chicken wings, turkey! 339 00:23:54,996 --> 00:23:57,164 Clark! That's not nice! 340 00:23:57,581 --> 00:23:59,373 It's part of the act, honey. 341 00:24:00,290 --> 00:24:01,498 Hey, underpants! 342 00:24:06,249 --> 00:24:07,791 I'm okay! I'm okay! 343 00:24:07,874 --> 00:24:09,501 I'm all right! 344 00:24:11,417 --> 00:24:15,586 That wasn't funny! A noise like that could impair the kids' hearing. 345 00:24:18,127 --> 00:24:21,169 It was real! It looked real, didn't it? I thought it was real gun. 346 00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:23,253 Didn't it look real when I fell down? 347 00:24:23,711 --> 00:24:24,380 What? 348 00:24:24,505 --> 00:24:25,463 Didn't it look real? 349 00:24:25,963 --> 00:24:26,838 What? 350 00:24:27,047 --> 00:24:28,547 Are you happy now, Clark? 351 00:24:28,672 --> 00:24:29,632 She's deaf. 352 00:24:29,964 --> 00:24:33,257 What's the difference? It was fun anyway. Let's have a drink. 353 00:24:33,549 --> 00:24:34,715 Pardon me, sir? 354 00:24:40,382 --> 00:24:42,131 Catherine told us to follow 50. 355 00:24:43,049 --> 00:24:46,883 I was thinking of taking a detour to Liberal. 356 00:24:47,217 --> 00:24:48,050 What for? 357 00:24:48,217 --> 00:24:49,133 The House of Mud. 358 00:24:49,467 --> 00:24:50,385 What's that? 359 00:24:50,635 --> 00:24:53,969 The largest, freestanding mud dwelling ever built! 360 00:24:55,220 --> 00:24:57,470 The pioneers didn't have bricks, so they used mud. 361 00:24:57,803 --> 00:24:59,804 They didn't use mud, they used sod! 362 00:25:00,137 --> 00:25:00,970 Right, Audrey. 363 00:25:01,096 --> 00:25:03,305 When they ran out of sod, they used mud! 364 00:25:04,389 --> 00:25:06,681 Let's skip The House of Mud. 365 00:25:07,056 --> 00:25:08,889 Dodge City was enough for today. 366 00:25:09,806 --> 00:25:12,265 And Catherine and Eddie are expecting us. 367 00:25:14,308 --> 00:25:15,350 It's living history. 368 00:25:15,808 --> 00:25:17,933 But, if you would rather visit your cousins... 369 00:25:18,766 --> 00:25:19,808 ...it's okay with me. 370 00:25:19,974 --> 00:25:22,394 I would rather see a pile of mud than Eddie. 371 00:25:23,102 --> 00:25:23,936 Stop it! 372 00:25:24,353 --> 00:25:25,269 What's going on? 373 00:25:25,769 --> 00:25:27,853 Rusty is licking his hand and touching me with it! 374 00:25:28,437 --> 00:25:30,104 Tell Rusty to behave himself. 375 00:25:30,604 --> 00:25:31,938 Rusty, behave yourself! 376 00:25:32,188 --> 00:25:35,269 But Audrey is eating candy and smiling at me with her mouth open! 377 00:25:35,603 --> 00:25:37,687 Audrey, eat with you mouth closed! 378 00:25:38,020 --> 00:25:40,187 No eating in the car, kids! 379 00:25:40,354 --> 00:25:41,563 You suck, you know that? 380 00:25:41,771 --> 00:25:42,522 Retard! 381 00:25:42,688 --> 00:25:44,606 I am trying to concentrate on the road! 382 00:25:52,192 --> 00:25:56,526 "I've had some Ionely nights 383 00:25:57,609 --> 00:26:01,485 "And I'll admit I cried sometimes 384 00:26:01,569 --> 00:26:03,444 "Cause you were out of my life 385 00:26:04,569 --> 00:26:07,529 "But then you called my name 386 00:26:08,446 --> 00:26:10,946 "And you came back again 387 00:26:11,071 --> 00:26:13,696 "I feel so inspired 388 00:26:13,821 --> 00:26:17,239 "Kissing your lips of fire 389 00:26:17,448 --> 00:26:20,533 "Little boy sweet, little boy sweet, 390 00:26:20,782 --> 00:26:23,741 "Sweet little boy of mine 391 00:26:24,658 --> 00:26:26,243 "Come a little closer" 392 00:26:28,784 --> 00:26:30,369 You're driving 80 miles an hour! 393 00:26:30,743 --> 00:26:31,824 Doesn't seem that fast, honey? 394 00:26:31,865 --> 00:26:33,158 Slow down! 395 00:26:34,741 --> 00:26:36,410 I don't know why, we're making good time. 396 00:26:39,994 --> 00:26:42,369 "Love for sale 397 00:26:43,619 --> 00:26:45,703 "Appetizing, yummy love..." 398 00:27:02,958 --> 00:27:05,084 They're here! Eddie, come on! 399 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:08,043 I can't believe it's been so long! 400 00:27:12,460 --> 00:27:14,795 Eddie, you look terrific. 401 00:27:18,879 --> 00:27:22,630 Come and meet your cousins! Look how they've grown! 402 00:27:22,964 --> 00:27:24,798 You have lost weight, Catherine! 403 00:27:25,132 --> 00:27:27,466 She's added a few more mouths to the litter. 404 00:27:30,213 --> 00:27:33,214 Rusty and Audrey, cousins Vicki and Dale. 405 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,966 And this is Eddie Junior and Junior. 406 00:27:38,174 --> 00:27:40,632 The little one hanging onto my skirt is Daisy-Mabel. 407 00:27:41,217 --> 00:27:43,135 How old are you, little one. 408 00:27:43,968 --> 00:27:46,136 She was born without a tongue, Clark. 409 00:27:47,094 --> 00:27:50,428 But don't worry about her. She whistles like a bird and eats like a horse. 410 00:27:52,012 --> 00:27:55,679 Take your cousins out back and show them your worm farm. 411 00:27:57,346 --> 00:28:00,264 Come in the house, Ellen. I've so much to tell you. 412 00:28:05,974 --> 00:28:07,015 Look at that car! 413 00:28:08,098 --> 00:28:09,099 That's the Family Truckster. 414 00:28:09,433 --> 00:28:12,767 Boy, she's a beaut! I like those "green walls." 415 00:28:13,435 --> 00:28:14,934 We had some trouble in St. Louis. 416 00:28:18,602 --> 00:28:20,270 Well, you're looking really... 417 00:28:20,811 --> 00:28:21,811 ...fit. 418 00:28:23,104 --> 00:28:24,271 This is your homestead, huh? 419 00:28:27,436 --> 00:28:30,936 Yeah, I don't know for how long, though. 420 00:28:32,020 --> 00:28:34,937 The bank's been after me like flies on a rib roast. 421 00:28:35,645 --> 00:28:37,314 I know the feeling. 422 00:28:38,314 --> 00:28:39,316 Oh, fuck it! 423 00:28:45,316 --> 00:28:46,858 I bet you could use a cool one? 424 00:28:47,066 --> 00:28:48,150 Now you're talking. 425 00:28:58,903 --> 00:28:59,736 I'm going steady. 426 00:29:00,487 --> 00:29:01,987 And I French kiss. 427 00:29:03,069 --> 00:29:04,653 So? Everyone does that. 428 00:29:04,945 --> 00:29:06,905 Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best. 429 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:12,240 Want a worm? 430 00:29:13,073 --> 00:29:13,824 No, thanks. 431 00:29:15,741 --> 00:29:16,657 Do you have Pac-Man? 432 00:29:18,492 --> 00:29:19,159 No. 433 00:29:19,825 --> 00:29:21,573 Space Invaders? 434 00:29:22,282 --> 00:29:22,948 No. 435 00:29:24,574 --> 00:29:25,657 Do you have Asteroids? 436 00:29:25,866 --> 00:29:27,575 No, but my dad does. 437 00:29:27,909 --> 00:29:29,867 He can't even sit on the toilet some days. 438 00:29:33,534 --> 00:29:34,952 What do you do here, Dale? 439 00:29:38,537 --> 00:29:40,495 Well, I have a stack of nudie books this high. 440 00:29:42,621 --> 00:29:44,038 She's beautiful! 441 00:29:48,539 --> 00:29:49,873 Would you sell me any of them? 442 00:29:49,998 --> 00:29:52,957 Shit, no! I cherish them! 443 00:29:55,042 --> 00:29:56,625 And I use them a lot! 444 00:29:59,043 --> 00:30:00,375 How do you use a magazine? 445 00:30:01,375 --> 00:30:02,834 I'll tell you how. 446 00:30:04,169 --> 00:30:06,711 A guy taught me something really neat, last year. 447 00:30:08,796 --> 00:30:10,462 Have you ever bopped your bologna? 448 00:30:17,422 --> 00:30:18,670 I guess we are 11, right? 449 00:30:20,046 --> 00:30:21,796 No, we are 12 with Aunt Edna. 450 00:30:21,921 --> 00:30:24,588 Aunt Edna? Is she still alive? 451 00:30:24,922 --> 00:30:25,756 You bet! 452 00:30:26,506 --> 00:30:29,965 I can't wait to see the look on Clark's face when he hears that. 453 00:30:31,007 --> 00:30:33,592 She came to help when Eddie ruptured his spleen... 454 00:30:33,675 --> 00:30:35,509 ...and she's been here ever since. 455 00:30:37,094 --> 00:30:38,884 She wanted to go back to Phoenix last year... 456 00:30:38,967 --> 00:30:40,635 ...but Eddie wouldn't let her. 457 00:30:41,968 --> 00:30:45,594 Without her Social Security, we'd never be able to live like this. 458 00:30:50,013 --> 00:30:51,971 It looks as though you've really got your hands full. 459 00:30:52,429 --> 00:30:54,264 Oh, it's not so bad! 460 00:30:55,264 --> 00:30:58,597 Eddie says after the baby comes, I can quit one of my night jobs. 461 00:31:03,558 --> 00:31:04,558 How do you like yours, Clark? 462 00:31:05,475 --> 00:31:07,810 Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside. 463 00:31:07,976 --> 00:31:10,228 No! Your bun! Light or dark? 464 00:31:11,186 --> 00:31:12,519 Either way, it doesn't matter. 465 00:31:14,478 --> 00:31:17,143 Vicki, can I help you stir that? Please? 466 00:31:20,477 --> 00:31:22,894 I don't know why they call this Hamburger Helper! 467 00:31:22,977 --> 00:31:25,187 It's just fine by itself. 468 00:31:26,145 --> 00:31:29,021 I like it better than Tuna Helper, don't you, Clark? 469 00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,398 You're the gourmet, Ed. 470 00:31:37,232 --> 00:31:38,316 No meat in this? 471 00:31:38,649 --> 00:31:41,317 You get plenty of meat at home. Be polite. Have some ketchup. 472 00:31:47,193 --> 00:31:48,527 Real tomato ketchup, Eddie? 473 00:31:48,944 --> 00:31:50,027 Nothing but the best! 474 00:31:52,361 --> 00:31:53,319 Aunt Edna! 475 00:31:53,610 --> 00:31:55,403 Helper's getting cold. 476 00:31:57,612 --> 00:31:59,114 Is that your Aunt Edna? 477 00:32:08,032 --> 00:32:11,781 Aunt Edna! After all these years! And you look so good! 478 00:32:17,032 --> 00:32:19,366 Hi, Edna! Nice to see you again! 479 00:32:20,366 --> 00:32:21,783 You remember Clark, don't you? 480 00:32:25,367 --> 00:32:28,120 You were the ones who sent me the fruitcake for Christmas. 481 00:32:28,536 --> 00:32:30,037 It made me so sick! 482 00:32:31,619 --> 00:32:35,079 I'm sorry. We thought you enjoyed fruitcake. 483 00:32:35,246 --> 00:32:37,663 Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes, Claud? 484 00:32:38,329 --> 00:32:38,997 Clark. 485 00:32:41,455 --> 00:32:44,915 Well, am I going to eat or starve to death? 486 00:32:48,582 --> 00:32:50,125 Catherine? 487 00:32:50,374 --> 00:32:52,749 Did you tell Clark and Ellen the good news. 488 00:32:54,085 --> 00:32:56,043 No. I was just about to. 489 00:32:56,585 --> 00:32:58,253 What's the good news? 490 00:32:58,919 --> 00:33:01,503 You are driving me to Phoenix! 491 00:33:13,921 --> 00:33:15,504 "Junior Pig Competition"? 492 00:33:16,879 --> 00:33:18,505 You won this trophy for racing a pig? 493 00:33:19,006 --> 00:33:20,256 Yeah. First Place. 494 00:33:21,673 --> 00:33:23,424 Does anyone know about it? 495 00:33:24,633 --> 00:33:25,591 Everyone knows. 496 00:33:27,217 --> 00:33:32,176 Vicki, don't be offended, but being a farmer is not too cool, you know. 497 00:33:34,136 --> 00:33:35,094 Oh, yeah. 498 00:33:37,970 --> 00:33:39,303 How cool... 499 00:33:40,262 --> 00:33:41,554 ...is this? 500 00:33:48,972 --> 00:33:52,057 I'm really glad things are going well for you. 501 00:33:57,308 --> 00:34:01,685 I was laid off when they closed that asbestos factory. 502 00:34:05,058 --> 00:34:06,850 The Army cuts my disability pension. 503 00:34:07,142 --> 00:34:10,475 They claimed the plate in my head wasn't large enough. 504 00:34:15,436 --> 00:34:18,352 Clark and Ellen don't want to hear about problems. 505 00:34:19,021 --> 00:34:20,354 No, no. It is very interesting. 506 00:34:20,688 --> 00:34:23,731 Why don't you just ask him for the money, Eddie? 507 00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:25,856 He sure as hell can't take a hint! 508 00:34:26,522 --> 00:34:29,356 Well, I didn't want to ask you, Clark. 509 00:34:31,024 --> 00:34:34,649 Could you, maybe, spare a little extra cash? 510 00:34:34,774 --> 00:34:36,067 Sure, Eddie! 511 00:34:41,152 --> 00:34:42,152 How much money do you need? 512 00:34:42,943 --> 00:34:44,693 About $52,000. 513 00:34:48,029 --> 00:34:49,696 Good-bye, baby! 514 00:34:50,446 --> 00:34:51,988 You'll send those checks? 515 00:34:52,696 --> 00:34:53,697 It's taken care of. 516 00:34:54,864 --> 00:34:56,280 Okay, let's go. Come on, Edna. 517 00:34:56,615 --> 00:34:57,615 Lay off, lay off! 518 00:34:59,323 --> 00:35:00,574 Well, gotta be going. 519 00:35:01,654 --> 00:35:02,613 What's this? 520 00:35:02,654 --> 00:35:03,739 This is for you, Clark. 521 00:35:04,405 --> 00:35:05,614 Oh, what is it? 522 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:07,239 A gift. 523 00:35:07,448 --> 00:35:09,406 You didn't have to buy me a gift! 524 00:35:09,740 --> 00:35:10,908 Go on and open it. 525 00:35:15,117 --> 00:35:16,326 Eddie, you shouldn't have. 526 00:35:18,410 --> 00:35:19,744 Those are great, Dad! 527 00:35:20,077 --> 00:35:20,911 Be quiet, Russ. 528 00:35:21,744 --> 00:35:22,660 Try them on. 529 00:35:22,827 --> 00:35:24,328 No, no, I don't want to get them dirty. 530 00:35:24,494 --> 00:35:26,244 I told you he wouldn't like them! 531 00:35:27,245 --> 00:35:28,163 I love them. 532 00:35:28,495 --> 00:35:31,164 I knew you did because the last time I saw you, Clark... 533 00:35:31,330 --> 00:35:33,164 ...you remarked about how much you liked mine. 534 00:35:33,246 --> 00:35:35,206 I guess we better be going. 535 00:35:43,790 --> 00:35:46,542 Here he is, Uncle Clark, all walked and everything. 536 00:35:46,709 --> 00:35:47,709 What is this? A dog? 537 00:35:48,251 --> 00:35:50,293 He's Aunt Edna's dog, Dinky. 538 00:35:50,376 --> 00:35:52,003 He watches "Family Feud." 539 00:35:53,628 --> 00:35:54,586 How are you, little fellow? 540 00:35:58,919 --> 00:36:01,628 You didn't get to meet Dinky last night. 541 00:36:01,878 --> 00:36:04,128 He had the shits, so he slept in the barn. 542 00:36:04,461 --> 00:36:07,629 Great. I'll make some space for him in the back. 543 00:36:10,338 --> 00:36:12,548 No! Sit, sit! Roll over! Heel! 544 00:36:12,882 --> 00:36:13,965 Here. Have a good trip. 545 00:36:14,465 --> 00:36:15,216 Thanks a lot. 546 00:36:27,468 --> 00:36:30,136 "I found out long ago 547 00:36:32,260 --> 00:36:35,261 "It's a long way down a Holiday Road 548 00:36:37,553 --> 00:36:37,595 [Skipped item nr. 548] 549 00:36:37,595 --> 00:36:40,096 "Holiday Road! 550 00:36:40,429 --> 00:36:43,348 "Holiday Road! " 551 00:36:44,348 --> 00:36:47,224 Look at these sandwiches. Here, Aunt Edna. 552 00:36:47,265 --> 00:36:48,058 Thank you. 553 00:36:51,183 --> 00:36:54,142 Rusty, stop playing with the dog and come and eat your lunch. 554 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,060 You're favorite, bologna and cheese. 555 00:37:24,565 --> 00:37:28,733 "I've had some Ionely nights 556 00:37:29,900 --> 00:37:33,650 "And I'll admit I cried sometimes 557 00:37:33,983 --> 00:37:36,317 "Cause you were out of my life 558 00:37:36,901 --> 00:37:39,569 "But then you called my name 559 00:37:40,569 --> 00:37:43,237 "And you came back again 560 00:37:43,570 --> 00:37:45,905 "I feel so inspired 561 00:37:46,238 --> 00:37:49,572 "Kissing your lips of fire 562 00:37:49,989 --> 00:37:52,320 "Little boy sweet, little boy sweet 563 00:37:53,237 --> 00:37:55,571 "Sweet little boy of mine 564 00:37:56,905 --> 00:37:58,239 "Come a little closer 565 00:37:58,739 --> 00:38:00,406 "I want to show you 566 00:38:01,573 --> 00:38:03,240 "What's on my mind 567 00:38:03,907 --> 00:38:06,575 "Here in the night, here in the night 568 00:38:07,158 --> 00:38:10,492 "Here in the night, together 569 00:38:11,367 --> 00:38:13,368 "I want to show you 570 00:38:14,035 --> 00:38:18,202 "Love so... warm and tender!" 571 00:38:18,787 --> 00:38:20,286 Mom, my sandwich is wet! 572 00:38:20,870 --> 00:38:22,454 They're all wet... 573 00:38:24,955 --> 00:38:26,789 The dog went on the picnic basket! 574 00:38:41,876 --> 00:38:44,210 "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick 575 00:38:47,128 --> 00:38:50,084 "Going to take a ride to the West Coast, kids 576 00:38:51,626 --> 00:38:56,293 "Holiday Road! 577 00:38:56,962 --> 00:39:00,963 "Holiday Road! 578 00:39:01,754 --> 00:39:06,423 "Holiday Road! 579 00:39:07,339 --> 00:39:09,089 "Holiday Road! " 580 00:39:27,511 --> 00:39:28,428 Russ, look! 581 00:39:29,428 --> 00:39:30,763 Excellent! They have a pool! 582 00:39:32,847 --> 00:39:34,180 Aren't the woods beautiful? 583 00:39:36,180 --> 00:39:39,098 Clark! Dinky needs a long walk and a bath. 584 00:39:39,932 --> 00:39:41,266 Rusty, take care of Dinky. 585 00:39:42,433 --> 00:39:43,391 Dad, he bites! 586 00:39:43,599 --> 00:39:45,180 Bite him back! 587 00:40:02,895 --> 00:40:04,561 We would like three tents, please. 588 00:40:04,895 --> 00:40:06,562 All right. That'll be $37. 589 00:40:07,061 --> 00:40:09,062 $37 for three tents?! 590 00:40:09,396 --> 00:40:11,062 They're very nice tents. 591 00:40:11,146 --> 00:40:13,397 The price includes scenery and wildlife fun. 592 00:40:17,106 --> 00:40:20,316 This seems like a nice place, and it has a pool. 593 00:40:21,316 --> 00:40:22,150 All right. 594 00:40:22,816 --> 00:40:24,899 Would you fill that out? 595 00:40:31,235 --> 00:40:33,570 Clark W. Griswold. Do you want my address? 596 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:35,153 Please. 597 00:40:35,528 --> 00:40:37,070 What do you need my address for? 598 00:40:37,112 --> 00:40:38,612 We like to send out mailers. 599 00:40:42,695 --> 00:40:44,612 - I can't wait to get in! - Me, too. 600 00:40:44,944 --> 00:40:47,529 Let's go get our bathing suits. 601 00:40:50,447 --> 00:40:51,447 Disgusting! 602 00:40:56,533 --> 00:40:58,533 You're too cheap to pay for a hotel room. 603 00:41:00,617 --> 00:41:03,618 Oh, Clark, this tent smells. 604 00:41:05,451 --> 00:41:06,451 Edna, this is your tent. 605 00:41:28,999 --> 00:41:30,667 This isn't very romantic. 606 00:41:31,834 --> 00:41:35,835 I don't think there's enough room for two in this sleeping bag. 607 00:41:37,001 --> 00:41:39,499 Right now, we're one. 608 00:41:39,708 --> 00:41:41,876 One heart beating for two. 609 00:41:49,377 --> 00:41:52,003 Sparky, there's a wild animal. 610 00:41:52,086 --> 00:41:52,755 Yes. 611 00:41:53,254 --> 00:41:55,339 I know, I'm going for it, honey. 612 00:41:59,339 --> 00:42:00,172 Get off! 613 00:42:00,422 --> 00:42:01,422 Down! Go! 614 00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:03,173 I'm sorry, honey. It's Dinky. 615 00:42:08,425 --> 00:42:09,717 I'll kill that dog! 616 00:42:21,470 --> 00:42:22,804 What do you say, honey? 617 00:42:24,137 --> 00:42:26,388 In spite of the problems, it's fun isn't it? 618 00:42:27,388 --> 00:42:28,055 No! 619 00:42:28,889 --> 00:42:31,640 But with each new day there's new hope. 620 00:42:34,057 --> 00:42:35,721 Kids, let's go! 621 00:42:36,305 --> 00:42:37,472 We're losing daylight. 622 00:42:39,306 --> 00:42:40,306 Did you walk him? 623 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:42,724 He took a big one on Aunt Edna's blanket. 624 00:42:43,724 --> 00:42:44,724 Good boy. 625 00:42:45,390 --> 00:42:46,225 Help! 626 00:42:46,391 --> 00:42:48,725 Go take care of Aunt Edna. I'll take the leash. 627 00:42:53,144 --> 00:42:54,143 Roll over, Dinky! 628 00:42:59,269 --> 00:43:00,646 You're tearing my flesh! 629 00:43:01,020 --> 00:43:02,187 Good morning, Edna. 630 00:43:09,147 --> 00:43:10,148 Audrey, you're next. 631 00:43:10,273 --> 00:43:11,607 No way, Jos�! 632 00:43:13,690 --> 00:43:14,898 What's the problem? 633 00:43:15,023 --> 00:43:18,275 I had to sit next to Aunt Edna last time. She smells like mothballs! 634 00:43:18,942 --> 00:43:20,025 It's her turn. 635 00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:24,528 For your information, Rusty slept in his underpants last night! 636 00:43:25,611 --> 00:43:26,694 Easy kids! Stop it! 637 00:43:27,110 --> 00:43:29,278 Everyone into the car, we leave in two minutes. 638 00:43:30,946 --> 00:43:34,444 Or perhaps you don't want to see the second-largest ball of twine on earth. 639 00:43:34,528 --> 00:43:37,069 Which is only four short hours away. 640 00:43:43,696 --> 00:43:44,988 Sweetheart, do you hear that rattle? 641 00:43:46,031 --> 00:43:47,365 Where is it coming from? 642 00:43:47,573 --> 00:43:48,783 Beats the heck out of me. 643 00:43:48,865 --> 00:43:51,699 I've been looking for it since we left. It's driving me crazy! 644 00:43:53,241 --> 00:43:55,200 Dad, look behind you. 645 00:43:57,908 --> 00:43:59,243 Now what have we done? 646 00:43:59,493 --> 00:44:00,701 Will you hold my purse? 647 00:44:00,992 --> 00:44:02,077 Just hold my purse! 648 00:44:22,999 --> 00:44:24,667 Hello, officer, what's the problem? 649 00:44:27,751 --> 00:44:29,415 Get out of the car! 650 00:44:36,626 --> 00:44:38,792 I don't think I was speeding. Was I weaving or something? 651 00:44:38,875 --> 00:44:40,335 Shut up, sir! 652 00:44:42,712 --> 00:44:45,754 If I wasn't in uniform, I'd split your skull with the butt of this revolver... 653 00:44:45,962 --> 00:44:48,129 ...faster than you could say, "police brutality." 654 00:44:49,212 --> 00:44:51,921 Officer, whatever it is I've done, I'm sure I can explain. 655 00:44:56,715 --> 00:44:58,632 Explain this, you son of a bitch. 656 00:44:59,465 --> 00:45:00,466 Oh, my God! 657 00:45:02,633 --> 00:45:06,676 Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state? 658 00:45:07,134 --> 00:45:07,967 No, sir. 659 00:45:10,969 --> 00:45:12,594 It's probably pretty stiff! 660 00:45:13,386 --> 00:45:15,679 You can't think I'd do this on purpose? 661 00:45:17,054 --> 00:45:19,513 I tied him to the rear bumper when I was packing the car. 662 00:45:20,138 --> 00:45:21,888 It was very confusing, I must've forgotten. 663 00:45:24,348 --> 00:45:26,137 I'm sorry. I feel terrible. 664 00:45:27,346 --> 00:45:29,346 How do you think that little dog feels? 665 00:45:34,848 --> 00:45:37,516 I'm sorry, it really was an accident. 666 00:45:40,934 --> 00:45:42,518 I guess I can buy that, sir. 667 00:45:43,435 --> 00:45:44,643 But it is a shame. 668 00:45:45,851 --> 00:45:47,852 I had a dog like that when I was a kid. 669 00:45:51,102 --> 00:45:52,270 Poor little guy. 670 00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:54,812 He probably kept up with you for a mile or so. 671 00:45:56,688 --> 00:45:57,688 Tough little mutt. 672 00:46:08,525 --> 00:46:11,024 I was afraid you would get pulled over, Clark. 673 00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,734 You've been exceeding the speed limit for thousands of miles! 674 00:46:15,067 --> 00:46:15,901 Dad wasn't speeding. 675 00:46:16,068 --> 00:46:17,901 The officer stopped us because Dad... 676 00:46:18,027 --> 00:46:19,361 He was speeding, Rusty! 677 00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:20,819 No, he wasn't, Mom. 678 00:46:21,236 --> 00:46:23,401 Listen to your mother! I was speeding. 679 00:46:23,900 --> 00:46:25,026 I was driving like a maniac. 680 00:46:25,317 --> 00:46:27,818 We can all be grateful that this man stopped us! 681 00:46:28,110 --> 00:46:29,694 - You see, kids, a car... - Here's the leash, sir. 682 00:46:29,819 --> 00:46:32,571 I'm going back to get the rest of the carcass off the road. 683 00:46:32,654 --> 00:46:33,654 Thank you, officer. 684 00:46:34,487 --> 00:46:35,654 Have a nice day. 685 00:46:49,492 --> 00:46:50,783 Is this your idea of a good restaurant? 686 00:46:52,325 --> 00:46:53,410 Dog killer! 687 00:46:54,659 --> 00:46:56,411 I'm sure the food is just fine. 688 00:46:57,660 --> 00:46:58,910 I'll take that. 689 00:46:59,994 --> 00:47:00,994 Thank you. 690 00:47:01,369 --> 00:47:02,702 Oh, kids! 691 00:47:07,205 --> 00:47:07,872 Waitress! 692 00:47:32,293 --> 00:47:36,378 "I've had some Ionely nights 693 00:47:37,587 --> 00:47:40,378 "And I'll admit I cried sometimes 694 00:47:41,588 --> 00:47:44,380 "Cause you were out of my life 695 00:47:44,838 --> 00:47:47,422 "But then you called my name 696 00:47:48,548 --> 00:47:51,131 "And you came back again 697 00:47:51,257 --> 00:47:54,007 "I feel so inspired 698 00:47:54,090 --> 00:47:56,840 "Kissing your lips of fire 699 00:47:57,549 --> 00:47:59,592 "Little boy sweet, little boy sweet 700 00:48:01,092 --> 00:48:02,427 "Sweet little boy of mine" 701 00:48:18,178 --> 00:48:19,512 What happened? 702 00:48:21,346 --> 00:48:23,388 What happened to your hair? 703 00:48:24,013 --> 00:48:25,263 You're sweating! 704 00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:26,764 Are you blushing? 705 00:48:26,931 --> 00:48:28,722 Don't be silly. 706 00:48:29,016 --> 00:48:30,433 Are you all right, Clark? 707 00:48:30,682 --> 00:48:32,683 Of course, I'm fine! I'm having a ball! 708 00:48:40,060 --> 00:48:43,227 Come on, honey, look at the mountains, breathe the air! 709 00:48:45,727 --> 00:48:47,312 Put on a happy face for me. 710 00:48:52,853 --> 00:48:55,521 I guess there's not much more that can happen to us. 711 00:48:56,730 --> 00:48:58,523 I think the worst is behind us. 712 00:49:07,318 --> 00:49:09,401 Clark, I need my vanity case. 713 00:49:09,984 --> 00:49:11,402 We have to go back and look for it. 714 00:49:12,233 --> 00:49:13,733 All my credit cards are in it. 715 00:49:14,234 --> 00:49:17,401 Honey, number one: I've already called the bank and reported the loss. 716 00:49:18,068 --> 00:49:20,652 B: We'll never find it when we don't know where it fell off. 717 00:49:21,236 --> 00:49:22,693 And three: I've got my credit cards. 718 00:49:22,860 --> 00:49:24,903 And we've still got plenty of cash, okay? 719 00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:27,905 No, we don't. You gave $500 to Eddie. 720 00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:31,947 And everything has cost twice as much as you figured out. 721 00:49:32,072 --> 00:49:34,323 Honey, there's nothing in that luggage that can't be replaced. 722 00:49:34,656 --> 00:49:36,323 Except for your diaphragm. 723 00:49:36,822 --> 00:49:38,698 We can cash a check down the road. 724 00:49:39,324 --> 00:49:40,866 Don't you trust me? 725 00:49:41,574 --> 00:49:44,116 As long as you don't tie me to the rear bumper. 726 00:49:47,743 --> 00:49:48,868 That hurt. 727 00:49:50,326 --> 00:49:52,035 Clark, I think we're lost. 728 00:49:52,494 --> 00:49:53,660 We're not lost! 729 00:49:53,826 --> 00:49:55,787 Ellen, please, let me do the driving. 730 00:49:56,162 --> 00:50:00,080 I don't think you'll find the Grand Canyon on this road. 731 00:50:00,413 --> 00:50:03,039 Jesus, it's only the biggest goddamn hole in the world! 732 00:50:03,164 --> 00:50:04,414 Clark, watch your language! 733 00:50:05,249 --> 00:50:06,831 Make that the second largest. 734 00:50:07,332 --> 00:50:10,121 Dad, I haven't seen a car for an hour! 735 00:50:10,288 --> 00:50:12,789 Shut up, Audrey! Dad knows where he's going. 736 00:50:12,914 --> 00:50:13,539 Thank you. 737 00:50:14,248 --> 00:50:15,207 You're lost! 738 00:50:17,165 --> 00:50:18,874 Ma, I saw some detour signs! 739 00:50:19,250 --> 00:50:19,874 I didn't see any. 740 00:50:20,250 --> 00:50:23,252 I saw them when you and Mom were trying to fold the map. 741 00:50:24,252 --> 00:50:26,169 When they close a road they put up big signs. 742 00:50:26,294 --> 00:50:27,252 Like this one. 743 00:50:49,215 --> 00:50:50,758 I think I broke my nose! 744 00:50:50,967 --> 00:50:52,300 I stabbed my brain. 745 00:50:52,467 --> 00:50:53,926 I just got my period. 746 00:50:55,134 --> 00:50:56,218 I'm going to check under the hood. 747 00:51:09,718 --> 00:51:12,220 Audrey, gather up all the clothes, and put them in a pile. 748 00:51:12,553 --> 00:51:15,554 Rusty, find the first aid kit, then bring the suitcases here. 749 00:51:15,887 --> 00:51:17,721 Where can I go to the bathroom? 750 00:51:18,638 --> 00:51:20,307 Find a bush, Audrey! 751 00:51:22,765 --> 00:51:25,307 Dad, you must've jumped the car about 50 yards! 752 00:51:25,849 --> 00:51:27,975 It's nothing to be proud of, Rusty. 753 00:51:29,267 --> 00:51:30,308 Fifty yards. 754 00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:34,310 Ellen, get me out of here! 755 00:51:35,685 --> 00:51:38,186 Stay in the car! It's hot and dangerous out here! 756 00:51:38,270 --> 00:51:40,769 Don't you tell me what to do! I'll do what I want! 757 00:51:41,603 --> 00:51:44,019 I should never have come on this trip with you! 758 00:51:44,186 --> 00:51:45,520 I should have taken an airplane! 759 00:51:46,020 --> 00:51:49,605 And he, he shouldn't even have a license to drive an automobile. 760 00:51:50,022 --> 00:51:51,982 He should be behind bars! 761 00:51:53,690 --> 00:51:56,150 Sit down, and shut up! 762 00:52:03,190 --> 00:52:05,524 Move out of that seat, and I'll split your lip! 763 00:52:13,943 --> 00:52:15,194 Rusty, come up here! 764 00:52:18,571 --> 00:52:21,528 I am going to have to hike down the road to find a service station. 765 00:52:21,611 --> 00:52:23,821 I want you to stay here and take care of things. 766 00:52:25,071 --> 00:52:26,030 Will you be okay? 767 00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:27,156 Oh, sure. 768 00:52:29,656 --> 00:52:32,657 I haven't had a chance to talk to you, man to man. 769 00:52:33,407 --> 00:52:35,074 I've only been a man a few days, Dad. 770 00:52:37,908 --> 00:52:39,742 You're growing up so fast. 771 00:52:41,325 --> 00:52:43,076 I have spent the past 15 years... 772 00:52:43,118 --> 00:52:46,120 ...developing newer and better food additives. 773 00:52:47,494 --> 00:52:49,036 I guess I missed a lot. 774 00:52:51,579 --> 00:52:53,913 At first, I didn't want to take this vacation. 775 00:52:55,164 --> 00:52:56,414 Now I'm glad I did. 776 00:52:57,248 --> 00:53:00,079 It has given me a chance to spend more time with you and... 777 00:53:00,912 --> 00:53:01,537 Audrey. 778 00:53:01,787 --> 00:53:02,787 Audrey. Yeah. 779 00:53:05,496 --> 00:53:06,998 It's been fun for me, too, Dad. 780 00:53:08,581 --> 00:53:09,831 Except for Aunt Edna. 781 00:53:10,915 --> 00:53:13,083 She doesn't mean to be a pain in the rump. 782 00:53:13,292 --> 00:53:14,751 It's just the way she is. 783 00:53:15,375 --> 00:53:17,002 Let's not let it spoil our fun, okay? 784 00:53:17,126 --> 00:53:18,084 I won't. 785 00:53:18,709 --> 00:53:21,252 Maybe she would be nicer if she had a family of her own. 786 00:53:22,044 --> 00:53:25,544 Instead of always having to latch onto someone else's. 787 00:53:28,046 --> 00:53:29,879 You're a pretty bright little guy. 788 00:53:30,212 --> 00:53:31,463 Excuse me... man. 789 00:53:37,297 --> 00:53:37,922 It's okay. 790 00:53:40,380 --> 00:53:41,632 Do you know what I want to do? 791 00:53:44,216 --> 00:53:46,383 When I was your age, my dad shared a beer with me. 792 00:53:46,550 --> 00:53:48,801 And I thought it was the best thing ever. 793 00:54:01,384 --> 00:54:04,136 When I was a boy, just about every summer we'd take a vacation. 794 00:54:05,887 --> 00:54:09,388 In 18 years, we never had fun. 795 00:54:12,765 --> 00:54:14,347 Now I have my own family. 796 00:54:14,513 --> 00:54:15,973 And we're on our own vacation. 797 00:54:16,182 --> 00:54:17,098 You know what? 798 00:54:17,848 --> 00:54:18,682 What, Dad? 799 00:54:19,766 --> 00:54:21,266 We're going to have fun. 800 00:54:26,517 --> 00:54:27,517 We're going to have fun. 801 00:54:30,477 --> 00:54:32,061 Don't let your mother smell that beer on your breath. 802 00:54:32,227 --> 00:54:33,727 She'll take it out on me. 803 00:54:35,393 --> 00:54:38,104 I better get moving if I want to get us out of here by dark. 804 00:54:41,688 --> 00:54:43,148 Good talk, son. 805 00:54:43,356 --> 00:54:44,314 Good talk, Dad. 806 00:54:45,689 --> 00:54:46,357 Clark? 807 00:54:52,355 --> 00:54:55,731 I just had a good talk with Rusty. You'll be in good hands here, honey. 808 00:54:57,774 --> 00:54:58,857 Where are you going?! 809 00:54:59,607 --> 00:55:02,483 There must be a phone or a gas station around here, honey. 810 00:55:04,109 --> 00:55:06,611 All right, but if you're not back in an hour... 811 00:55:07,319 --> 00:55:10,154 I'll be fine. You'll be fine. I'm sure this happens all the time. 812 00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:12,236 A patrol car will be by any minute. 813 00:55:14,154 --> 00:55:15,487 "Over the river and through the woods 814 00:55:15,654 --> 00:55:17,321 "To Grandmother's house we go 815 00:55:18,821 --> 00:55:20,155 "A thousand bottles of beer on the wall 816 00:55:24,823 --> 00:55:26,115 "Four bottles of beer 817 00:55:26,990 --> 00:55:28,699 "If one of those bottles should happen to fall... 818 00:55:29,323 --> 00:55:32,158 "I love a parade 819 00:55:32,741 --> 00:55:35,743 "The trampling of feet, I love the beat I hear of a drum 820 00:55:36,993 --> 00:55:39,327 "I love a parade" 821 00:55:48,911 --> 00:55:53,536 We pass a goddamn gas station every 100 yards for 1,000 miles! 822 00:55:54,162 --> 00:55:56,663 But when you really need one, you end up walking your ass off. 823 00:55:56,829 --> 00:55:58,330 This is no way to run a desert! 824 00:55:59,997 --> 00:56:01,288 Jesus! I'm going to die! 825 00:56:03,166 --> 00:56:04,249 What an asshole! 826 00:56:10,500 --> 00:56:11,834 Taxi. Taxi! 827 00:56:13,668 --> 00:56:14,668 I'm dead. 828 00:56:19,461 --> 00:56:20,670 I'm dying. I'm dead. I'm finished. 829 00:56:24,379 --> 00:56:25,672 Hot! Hot! 830 00:56:54,135 --> 00:56:56,094 I'm not sure of his exact height and weight. 831 00:56:56,469 --> 00:56:58,219 All I know is the man was a saint with children... 832 00:56:58,386 --> 00:57:00,055 ...and a genius with food additives... 833 00:57:00,721 --> 00:57:01,513 ...and... 834 00:57:01,721 --> 00:57:02,680 Clark! 835 00:57:02,846 --> 00:57:03,472 Ellen! 836 00:57:07,347 --> 00:57:08,014 Russ! 837 00:57:10,431 --> 00:57:11,099 Audrey? 838 00:57:11,515 --> 00:57:12,348 Audrey! 839 00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:17,184 Are you all right? 840 00:57:17,517 --> 00:57:18,308 I'm fine! 841 00:57:18,517 --> 00:57:19,892 What happened to you? How did you get here? 842 00:57:20,017 --> 00:57:23,350 Well these two nice Indians and a man on a camel called a tow truck. 843 00:57:23,517 --> 00:57:24,476 Daddy's back! 844 00:57:27,185 --> 00:57:28,270 Kids, are you thirsty? 845 00:57:28,562 --> 00:57:30,563 - Yeah, I bet you are too! - You said it! 846 00:57:52,858 --> 00:57:53,816 What do I owe you? 847 00:57:54,775 --> 00:57:57,943 I never heard of no one so stupid as you driving off that road. 848 00:57:58,735 --> 00:58:00,568 You must have manure for brains. 849 00:58:01,569 --> 00:58:03,485 Yes, well, I'm from out of town. 850 00:58:04,318 --> 00:58:05,319 What's the bill? 851 00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:11,822 Come on. How much? 852 00:58:11,905 --> 00:58:13,030 How much do you have? 853 00:58:13,572 --> 00:58:14,989 No, I'm asking how much the repairs are. 854 00:58:16,239 --> 00:58:17,865 I'm asking you, how much do you have. 855 00:58:20,656 --> 00:58:21,364 You're crazy. 856 00:58:22,824 --> 00:58:24,324 I don't have time to play around. 857 00:58:24,491 --> 00:58:25,492 How much is it? 858 00:58:26,159 --> 00:58:27,492 All of it, boy. 859 00:58:29,493 --> 00:58:31,618 What does your sheriff think of your business practices? 860 00:58:54,248 --> 00:58:56,082 Audrey, how much baby-sitting money do you have? 861 00:58:57,165 --> 00:58:58,123 How come? 862 00:58:58,665 --> 00:58:59,665 How much? 863 00:58:59,749 --> 00:59:00,833 What's the matter? 864 00:59:01,332 --> 00:59:04,792 I just spent $500 on four bald tires and a tow! 865 00:59:05,625 --> 00:59:06,710 How much do you have? 866 00:59:08,209 --> 00:59:08,877 $35. 867 00:59:09,710 --> 00:59:11,044 She has $40, Dad. 868 00:59:11,377 --> 00:59:14,004 How would you know? Unless you went in my purse, you rotten sneak. 869 00:59:14,211 --> 00:59:16,669 Have you been going through her private property? 870 00:59:17,128 --> 00:59:19,211 I don't give a frog's fat ass who went through what. 871 00:59:19,545 --> 00:59:20,881 We need money! 872 00:59:22,297 --> 00:59:23,338 Edna, how much do you have? 873 00:59:24,131 --> 00:59:25,465 She's asleep, Clark! 874 00:59:26,715 --> 00:59:28,716 Russ, do you want to look through Edna's purse? 875 00:59:29,132 --> 00:59:29,799 Clark! 876 00:59:36,214 --> 00:59:37,048 Unzip it. 877 00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:42,884 She has 11 cents, Dad. 878 00:59:43,383 --> 00:59:44,468 Terrific. 879 00:59:44,801 --> 00:59:46,217 The motel will cash your check. 880 00:59:47,301 --> 00:59:49,178 They better. We're going to run out of gas. 881 00:59:53,845 --> 00:59:56,804 I'm sorry, sir. I can't accept this credit card. 882 00:59:57,846 --> 00:59:58,472 Why not? 883 00:59:58,847 --> 01:00:00,638 The computer says it's has been reported lost. 884 01:00:01,681 --> 01:00:05,307 My wife lost her credit cards in Colorado and I reported it. 885 01:00:05,515 --> 01:00:08,475 The computer is probably reporting that I lost mine also, which I haven't. 886 01:00:08,725 --> 01:00:11,558 Well, you'll have to straighten that out with your bank. 887 01:00:12,434 --> 01:00:13,683 Will you accept a personal check? 888 01:00:14,058 --> 01:00:15,225 For what amount? 889 01:00:15,434 --> 01:00:16,225 $300. 890 01:00:16,726 --> 01:00:17,810 I can't do that, sir. 891 01:00:17,894 --> 01:00:20,436 Look, I've lost all my cash and we're on our way to California. 892 01:00:20,686 --> 01:00:21,644 Walley World? 893 01:00:22,021 --> 01:00:23,353 Yeah! Walley World! 894 01:00:24,021 --> 01:00:26,688 And I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place. 895 01:00:27,022 --> 01:00:28,229 You know I'd really appreciate it. 896 01:00:28,856 --> 01:00:30,981 We require a major credit card. 897 01:00:33,645 --> 01:00:36,313 I have $6.13 to my name... 898 01:00:36,396 --> 01:00:38,563 ...so I can see we're going to have to work something out. 899 01:00:38,938 --> 01:00:41,397 I've already told you that I can't accept a check... 900 01:00:41,481 --> 01:00:43,065 ...without a major credit card. 901 01:00:43,523 --> 01:00:48,192 I'll give you a check for $1,000. All you have to give me is $300 in cash. 902 01:00:48,525 --> 01:00:53,735 You can then keep $700 for doing nothing more than acting like a total creep. 903 01:00:55,234 --> 01:00:56,861 The only thing I can do... 904 01:00:56,903 --> 01:00:59,904 ...is have you stay here until the check clears. 905 01:01:00,236 --> 01:01:01,779 Ten working days! 906 01:01:29,575 --> 01:01:32,284 Let's go, come on! Where is Edna? 907 01:01:32,409 --> 01:01:33,284 In the car! 908 01:01:33,618 --> 01:01:34,869 Good! Come on, get in the car. 909 01:01:35,243 --> 01:01:36,869 Don't you want to look at the Grand Canyon? 910 01:01:39,411 --> 01:01:40,536 Great, let's go. 911 01:01:51,540 --> 01:01:52,540 Rusty, wake up! 912 01:01:56,041 --> 01:01:58,334 Get out those sandwiches I got at the gas station. 913 01:01:58,793 --> 01:02:02,126 I'm so hungry, I could eat a sandwich from a gas station. 914 01:02:03,335 --> 01:02:04,669 There's one for everyone. 915 01:02:05,294 --> 01:02:09,169 Audrey, wake Aunt Edna. It's time for her to eat and take her pill. 916 01:02:09,544 --> 01:02:10,837 Please, get off of me! 917 01:02:12,046 --> 01:02:14,338 Mom, tell Audrey to stop pushing Aunt Edna on me. 918 01:02:14,546 --> 01:02:16,673 I'm sick of her lying on me all the time! 919 01:02:17,464 --> 01:02:18,422 Be quiet! 920 01:02:19,548 --> 01:02:20,507 Auntie? 921 01:02:20,548 --> 01:02:24,299 Honey, it's only a few hours to Phoenix! Let her be, she's fine! 922 01:02:24,675 --> 01:02:25,756 She's not fine! 923 01:02:26,798 --> 01:02:28,089 She's fine! Don't be silly! 924 01:02:29,006 --> 01:02:31,173 She's not fine, Clark! 925 01:02:31,382 --> 01:02:32,466 She's dead! 926 01:02:40,678 --> 01:02:42,845 She breathed on me! A dead person breathed on me! 927 01:02:43,011 --> 01:02:44,844 Her hand touched me! She's stiff already! 928 01:02:57,098 --> 01:02:58,390 Goddamn it, anyway! 929 01:03:08,351 --> 01:03:11,018 She must have passed away somewhere near Flagstaff. 930 01:03:13,352 --> 01:03:14,812 What are we going to do, Clark? 931 01:03:18,354 --> 01:03:19,688 Well, we could leave her here... 932 01:03:19,771 --> 01:03:22,018 ...and the first phone we pass, we'd call your cousin, Normie... 933 01:03:22,102 --> 01:03:23,770 ...and he can come and get her, I guess. 934 01:03:23,853 --> 01:03:25,311 That's the meanest, coldest... 935 01:03:25,895 --> 01:03:27,604 What do you want me to do, call Federal Express? 936 01:03:27,854 --> 01:03:30,730 Mom, we don't have to ride with a dead person, do we? 937 01:03:30,814 --> 01:03:31,814 Please say we don't! 938 01:03:32,105 --> 01:03:34,398 Come on, Mom. It'd be real easy for Cousin Normie to find her. 939 01:03:34,565 --> 01:03:36,274 All he'd have to do is look for the buzzards. 940 01:03:37,190 --> 01:03:39,858 Hell! Then we'll drive her to Cousin Normie's. 941 01:03:40,732 --> 01:03:44,276 I just didn't want to get caught up in a funeral, inquests and all that crap. 942 01:03:44,734 --> 01:03:49,402 You're the most self-centered, egotistical, manipulative... 943 01:03:49,777 --> 01:03:51,778 Don't say anything you'll regret, Ellen! 944 01:03:52,778 --> 01:03:54,779 I'm being practical. If we drove straight through... 945 01:03:54,821 --> 01:03:56,529 ...we'd have three days at Walley World at best. 946 01:03:56,779 --> 01:03:57,779 Three. 947 01:04:00,737 --> 01:04:02,488 She can't weight more than 100 pounds. 948 01:04:03,613 --> 01:04:06,323 Oh, no! You can't put her up on that roof! 949 01:04:06,574 --> 01:04:07,532 Yes, he can! 950 01:04:08,700 --> 01:04:11,784 Do you want me to strap her to the hood? What's the difference? She'll be fine. 951 01:04:12,075 --> 01:04:14,284 It's not as if it's going to rain or something. 952 01:04:41,330 --> 01:04:42,707 This is terrible! 953 01:04:44,998 --> 01:04:47,583 What a nightmare! 954 01:05:03,212 --> 01:05:05,462 Don't just blurt it out about Edna dying! 955 01:05:05,713 --> 01:05:07,714 How about if I ask him to play a guessing game? 956 01:05:16,504 --> 01:05:18,505 Oh, no, he isn't even home. 957 01:05:18,630 --> 01:05:20,590 Maybe the neighbors know where he is. 958 01:05:20,839 --> 01:05:22,548 The moron knows we're coming, and he isn't home. 959 01:05:22,631 --> 01:05:24,674 Normie's always been flighty. 960 01:05:24,799 --> 01:05:25,716 He's always been a jag-off. 961 01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:27,133 Will you watch your mouth? 962 01:05:27,466 --> 01:05:28,216 There's a note. 963 01:05:30,342 --> 01:05:32,218 "Have gone to Flagstaff. Be back on Monday." 964 01:05:34,385 --> 01:05:35,552 What a worm! 965 01:05:57,182 --> 01:05:58,142 It's locked! 966 01:06:03,351 --> 01:06:04,477 Okay, let's go! 967 01:06:05,852 --> 01:06:07,894 We can't leave her on the patio! 968 01:06:08,895 --> 01:06:11,851 Would you rather I slipped her in the night deposit box at the funeral home?! 969 01:06:11,893 --> 01:06:12,809 Come on! 970 01:06:12,893 --> 01:06:14,560 It's raining all over her! 971 01:06:15,352 --> 01:06:17,019 She can't catch a cold now, Mom! 972 01:06:18,687 --> 01:06:21,228 Clark? We have to at least say something. 973 01:06:21,853 --> 01:06:23,812 Okay, bow your heads, bow your heads. 974 01:06:24,896 --> 01:06:25,732 Oh, God... 975 01:06:27,773 --> 01:06:30,607 Ease our suffering in this, our moment of great despair! 976 01:06:31,064 --> 01:06:35,608 Admit this good and decent woman into Thine arms and the flock... 977 01:06:35,941 --> 01:06:37,900 ...in Thine heavenly area up there. 978 01:06:39,817 --> 01:06:43,611 And Moab he laideth down behind the land of the Canaanites. 979 01:06:44,110 --> 01:06:46,903 And, yea, though the Hindus speak of karma... 980 01:06:47,445 --> 01:06:48,111 Clark! 981 01:06:48,445 --> 01:06:51,320 I implore you, give her a break. 982 01:06:51,612 --> 01:06:52,320 Clark! 983 01:06:58,822 --> 01:07:01,865 Clark, this is a serious matter! I'll do it myself! 984 01:07:02,115 --> 01:07:05,075 Honey, I'm not an ordained minister! I'm doing my best, okay? 985 01:07:06,576 --> 01:07:10,115 Lord, we love this woman with all our hearts! 986 01:07:10,324 --> 01:07:11,740 Let's not overdo it, Mom! 987 01:07:12,115 --> 01:07:12,823 Shut up! 988 01:07:13,408 --> 01:07:15,700 We know she deserves better than this... 989 01:07:16,116 --> 01:07:20,076 ...but my husband wants his beloved family to get to Walley World... 990 01:07:20,117 --> 01:07:21,619 ...to have their vacation! 991 01:07:22,118 --> 01:07:25,120 I hope you understand! Have mercy on his soul! 992 01:07:25,329 --> 01:07:26,621 Amen! Let's go! 993 01:07:27,579 --> 01:07:30,538 I hope you children have learned something about life and death! 994 01:07:30,996 --> 01:07:33,163 Yeah! Don't die unless someone is home! 995 01:07:35,872 --> 01:07:37,122 I think Normie will understand... 996 01:07:37,164 --> 01:07:39,123 ...when he sees the note we pinned on Edna's sleeve. 997 01:07:39,290 --> 01:07:43,458 Sure! You left his dead mother tied to a lawn chair in his backyard! 998 01:07:43,625 --> 01:07:44,667 I'm sure he won't mind! 999 01:07:45,792 --> 01:07:47,124 It's all over and done with! 1000 01:07:47,625 --> 01:07:50,292 We'll find a motel and start fresh in the morning. 1001 01:07:51,503 --> 01:07:54,211 I don't want to be in the car anymore. I want to go home! 1002 01:07:54,294 --> 01:07:55,961 I don't want to go to Walley World! 1003 01:07:56,003 --> 01:07:59,671 Clark? Under the circumstances, I would rather we just go home. 1004 01:07:59,962 --> 01:08:04,920 In retrospect, driving across country, has been one disaster after another! 1005 01:08:05,128 --> 01:08:07,003 Yeah, it's been a real drag, Dad! 1006 01:08:08,003 --> 01:08:09,879 Maybe we can try it some other time. 1007 01:08:10,380 --> 01:08:12,214 Walley World's overrated anyway. 1008 01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:14,297 What do you think? 1009 01:08:18,131 --> 01:08:20,133 I think you're all fucked in the head. 1010 01:08:20,300 --> 01:08:24,008 We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. 1011 01:08:24,175 --> 01:08:26,759 Well, I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation! 1012 01:08:27,134 --> 01:08:28,301 It's a quest! 1013 01:08:28,551 --> 01:08:29,552 It's a quest for fun. 1014 01:08:30,344 --> 01:08:32,387 I'm going to have fun and you're going to have fun. 1015 01:08:32,512 --> 01:08:34,303 We're all going to have so much fucking fun... 1016 01:08:34,387 --> 01:08:37,346 ...we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles. 1017 01:08:37,679 --> 01:08:40,639 You'll be whistling zippity-doo-dah out of your assholes! 1018 01:08:42,680 --> 01:08:45,138 I have to be crazy. I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. 1019 01:08:45,846 --> 01:08:49,392 Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit! 1020 01:08:50,724 --> 01:08:52,392 Dad, do you want an aspirin or something? 1021 01:08:53,351 --> 01:08:54,017 Don't touch! 1022 01:09:09,185 --> 01:09:10,936 The next time you have one of your outbursts... 1023 01:09:11,019 --> 01:09:13,895 ...I'd appreciate it if you'd have some consideration for your kids. 1024 01:09:14,354 --> 01:09:15,229 What are you talking about? 1025 01:09:15,354 --> 01:09:16,397 You don't know? 1026 01:09:17,189 --> 01:09:19,314 All I know is I'm trying to treat my family to a little fun! 1027 01:09:20,356 --> 01:09:22,730 Spare me, Clark! I know your brand of family fun. 1028 01:09:22,897 --> 01:09:24,607 Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk... 1029 01:09:24,690 --> 01:09:27,732 ...hold up a McDonald's, and drive us a thousand miles out of the way... 1030 01:09:27,816 --> 01:09:29,608 ...to see the world's largest ball of mud! 1031 01:09:30,733 --> 01:09:31,942 You know what your problem is? 1032 01:09:34,193 --> 01:09:36,276 You have an uncanny knack for looking at the dark side of things. 1033 01:09:36,360 --> 01:09:37,444 That's your problem. 1034 01:09:39,485 --> 01:09:41,528 You wouldn't know a good time if it came up and bit you! 1035 01:09:41,986 --> 01:09:43,111 Where are you going? 1036 01:09:43,236 --> 01:09:44,238 What do you care? 1037 01:11:16,008 --> 01:11:17,217 Are you waiting for someone? 1038 01:11:19,259 --> 01:11:21,510 No! Do you mind if I sit down? 1039 01:11:24,219 --> 01:11:25,552 Fancy seeing you here. 1040 01:11:26,844 --> 01:11:29,512 Having a nice little family vacation? 1041 01:11:34,888 --> 01:11:36,471 It would appear so, wouldn't it? 1042 01:11:38,015 --> 01:11:42,099 No, the truth of it is, and this is highly confidential... 1043 01:11:42,182 --> 01:11:43,141 ...I own this motel. 1044 01:11:45,142 --> 01:11:46,683 I own the whole chain, nationwide. 1045 01:11:47,017 --> 01:11:48,476 Twenty-two hundred units. 1046 01:11:50,310 --> 01:11:53,515 Yeah, once a year, I travel across the country, incognito. 1047 01:11:54,016 --> 01:11:56,058 Check things out, and see how the operation is running. 1048 01:11:56,725 --> 01:11:59,185 I thought you were going to say you worked for the CIA. 1049 01:12:02,186 --> 01:12:03,102 That's an old bit, isn't it? 1050 01:12:03,852 --> 01:12:04,477 Really. 1051 01:12:06,229 --> 01:12:10,230 No, I'm not with the CIA. I was, but that was a long time ago. 1052 01:12:10,937 --> 01:12:12,439 I don't like to talk about it. 1053 01:12:13,897 --> 01:12:17,356 No, I'm mainly interested in my motels now... 1054 01:12:17,440 --> 01:12:18,523 And my airline. 1055 01:12:18,565 --> 01:12:19,565 That's great. 1056 01:12:20,065 --> 01:12:21,815 I'm just trying to have a little fun. 1057 01:12:22,900 --> 01:12:25,025 It's a shame you're married. 1058 01:12:25,108 --> 01:12:27,109 I'm in the mood for some fun. 1059 01:12:27,734 --> 01:12:31,401 Married? You mean those people I'm with? 1060 01:12:31,901 --> 01:12:34,153 That's my brother's family. 1061 01:12:34,403 --> 01:12:35,862 My brother's ring. 1062 01:12:35,945 --> 01:12:38,528 I usually borrow them on these little inspection tours of mine. 1063 01:12:40,405 --> 01:12:44,114 It helps to complete the disguise. It's fun for them. 1064 01:12:44,780 --> 01:12:47,656 It's a good disguise. I like the station wagon effect. 1065 01:12:48,446 --> 01:12:50,613 Yeah? Well, that's a big part of it. 1066 01:12:51,405 --> 01:12:56,031 In order to be convincing, you have to look and act like an ordinary jerk. 1067 01:12:58,282 --> 01:13:01,657 You know, stop at all the stupid sites and look like a fool. 1068 01:13:03,160 --> 01:13:04,910 Basically, be yourself? 1069 01:13:05,743 --> 01:13:06,702 Yeah! 1070 01:13:07,868 --> 01:13:08,868 You like the disguise? 1071 01:13:14,953 --> 01:13:17,413 My credo is, if you have to have a credo... 1072 01:13:18,621 --> 01:13:20,580 ...you know, "Go for it," pretty much. 1073 01:13:21,622 --> 01:13:25,081 You only go around this crazy merry-go-round once! You know? 1074 01:13:25,790 --> 01:13:26,497 I agree. 1075 01:13:26,955 --> 01:13:27,581 Yeah. 1076 01:13:33,458 --> 01:13:34,335 That's my credo! 1077 01:13:39,294 --> 01:13:42,295 You don't have to have a credo, but... 1078 01:13:42,378 --> 01:13:43,878 "If the shoe fits, wear it." 1079 01:13:43,961 --> 01:13:46,584 "A penny saved..." "Pennies from heaven..." 1080 01:13:47,710 --> 01:13:48,752 My favorite credo... 1081 01:13:55,796 --> 01:13:58,505 ...you know "A penny saved, and..." 1082 01:13:58,588 --> 01:13:59,631 Thank you. 1083 01:14:05,382 --> 01:14:06,965 This feels great! 1084 01:14:09,258 --> 01:14:10,217 Well... 1085 01:14:11,092 --> 01:14:12,675 ...are you going to go for it? 1086 01:14:13,550 --> 01:14:15,051 Uh... here? 1087 01:14:15,426 --> 01:14:16,885 To start with, yes. 1088 01:14:17,760 --> 01:14:20,386 Why not? Don't you swim? 1089 01:14:22,761 --> 01:14:26,762 Sure, I took third in the state finals in my senior year. 1090 01:14:30,847 --> 01:14:33,473 Yeah, I'm really at ease in the water. 1091 01:14:36,849 --> 01:14:38,808 I'm proficient in many strokes and I dive. 1092 01:14:38,849 --> 01:14:41,351 As a matter of fact, I could've been in the Olympics. 1093 01:14:43,765 --> 01:14:46,766 Yeah. I'll be right there. 1094 01:14:47,766 --> 01:14:52,475 Yeah. This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy! 1095 01:14:55,393 --> 01:14:56,229 How's the water? 1096 01:14:56,395 --> 01:14:57,478 Exhilarating! 1097 01:14:58,686 --> 01:15:00,520 I'm in deep, I'm in deep! 1098 01:15:06,063 --> 01:15:09,397 It's cold! Jesus! Fuck! 1099 01:15:11,981 --> 01:15:12,981 Clark? 1100 01:15:13,565 --> 01:15:14,524 Cold! 1101 01:15:25,485 --> 01:15:26,485 Clark...? 1102 01:15:27,569 --> 01:15:28,611 Hi, honey. 1103 01:15:28,736 --> 01:15:30,070 What are you doing? 1104 01:15:30,320 --> 01:15:31,445 Swimming! 1105 01:15:31,612 --> 01:15:33,947 Yeah, my back was killing me. 1106 01:15:35,863 --> 01:15:38,736 And I thought I'd get a swim and loosen up the muscles. 1107 01:15:39,112 --> 01:15:41,445 Why go to the car and get the bathing suit? Jump right in. 1108 01:15:43,071 --> 01:15:44,113 It's exhilarating. 1109 01:15:44,780 --> 01:15:46,571 Guess what, honey? This person here was... 1110 01:15:46,780 --> 01:15:48,073 ...here! 1111 01:15:49,240 --> 01:15:50,698 I didn't see this person, so... 1112 01:15:51,615 --> 01:15:55,034 ...I screamed, that's why I yelled. I was so surprised. 1113 01:15:55,492 --> 01:15:56,951 You can imagine, can't you, honey? 1114 01:16:01,868 --> 01:16:02,868 Honey?! 1115 01:16:16,288 --> 01:16:17,247 Will you excuse me? 1116 01:16:18,122 --> 01:16:19,330 You have to go. 1117 01:16:20,665 --> 01:16:22,624 Well, I'd stay if I weren't married, but I am. 1118 01:16:23,624 --> 01:16:24,582 I know. 1119 01:16:25,792 --> 01:16:27,333 I hope I didn't spoil your evening. 1120 01:16:27,667 --> 01:16:29,418 No, it's been interesting. 1121 01:16:31,127 --> 01:16:32,961 Well, enjoy the rest of your trip. 1122 01:16:33,335 --> 01:16:34,335 You, too. 1123 01:16:43,627 --> 01:16:45,003 I can't believe this. 1124 01:16:46,670 --> 01:16:49,505 I am so humiliated. 1125 01:16:51,964 --> 01:16:54,172 Cut it out. You don't even know how to inhale. 1126 01:16:54,505 --> 01:16:55,672 So?! 1127 01:16:56,298 --> 01:16:57,257 Maybe I don't want to. 1128 01:16:58,506 --> 01:16:59,674 You're such a dork. 1129 01:17:01,841 --> 01:17:06,300 How can he do this to Mom? They'll probably get a divorce. 1130 01:17:07,551 --> 01:17:08,676 I better have a talk with him. 1131 01:17:16,011 --> 01:17:17,053 What are you doing up? 1132 01:17:18,221 --> 01:17:19,804 You woke the whole motel up, Dad. 1133 01:17:23,388 --> 01:17:24,265 I was... 1134 01:17:24,347 --> 01:17:25,181 ...swimming. 1135 01:17:25,223 --> 01:17:26,181 Yeah, I saw you. 1136 01:17:28,515 --> 01:17:29,765 Russ, come here a minute. 1137 01:17:34,556 --> 01:17:37,306 You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt your Mom. 1138 01:17:38,849 --> 01:17:40,473 It's been a long drive. 1139 01:17:43,891 --> 01:17:47,227 I work very hard for you, Audrey and your mom. 1140 01:17:50,228 --> 01:17:53,728 I guess when you get older you get these feelings... 1141 01:17:55,312 --> 01:17:58,354 ...and these feelings make you do things you wouldn't normally do. 1142 01:17:59,896 --> 01:18:01,188 Like swimming naked with girls? 1143 01:18:01,271 --> 01:18:03,606 Yeah! Like swimming naked with girls. 1144 01:18:03,689 --> 01:18:06,356 Well, not with girls. You think I was swimming with girls? 1145 01:18:06,732 --> 01:18:08,024 I saw just one girl. 1146 01:18:09,607 --> 01:18:11,231 Who, that girl? 1147 01:18:11,398 --> 01:18:13,608 Oh, no, that's a waitress. No, I was just ordering in. 1148 01:18:14,233 --> 01:18:15,443 She's a pool waitress. 1149 01:18:17,152 --> 01:18:20,235 I was ordering some fish for you, Audrey and Mom. 1150 01:18:20,277 --> 01:18:21,402 She took your order? 1151 01:18:21,569 --> 01:18:23,278 She took my order, yeah. 1152 01:18:24,112 --> 01:18:25,070 Swimming waitress. 1153 01:18:26,279 --> 01:18:27,946 You understand, don't you, Russ? 1154 01:18:28,070 --> 01:18:29,527 Sure, I understand. 1155 01:18:31,611 --> 01:18:33,445 Do you think Mom will buy it? 1156 01:18:35,612 --> 01:18:39,447 Good talk, son. Go to bed, Russ. 1157 01:18:40,906 --> 01:18:41,530 Goodnight. 1158 01:18:46,283 --> 01:18:46,991 Ellen? 1159 01:18:51,533 --> 01:18:52,575 Ellen? 1160 01:18:53,367 --> 01:18:54,409 Honey? 1161 01:18:57,327 --> 01:18:58,161 Are you mad? 1162 01:18:59,870 --> 01:19:00,828 No. 1163 01:19:03,121 --> 01:19:04,329 Do you like that girl? 1164 01:19:06,162 --> 01:19:07,662 Is that what you want? 1165 01:19:08,329 --> 01:19:09,287 Oh, no. 1166 01:19:11,831 --> 01:19:13,457 How could I like a girl like that? 1167 01:19:14,498 --> 01:19:15,540 She's ugly. 1168 01:19:16,833 --> 01:19:17,791 I love you. 1169 01:19:21,334 --> 01:19:22,959 I'm sorry about everything. 1170 01:19:24,293 --> 01:19:26,498 I got angry because you were right and I knew it. 1171 01:19:26,665 --> 01:19:27,875 I was hurt, honey. 1172 01:19:28,625 --> 01:19:31,167 I'm sorry, too. It's not all your fault. 1173 01:19:31,792 --> 01:19:33,584 I know you've been trying. 1174 01:19:33,792 --> 01:19:34,919 I'm going to try, too. 1175 01:19:37,628 --> 01:19:38,836 I know how to have fun. 1176 01:19:40,629 --> 01:19:41,630 And I'm going to prove it. 1177 01:19:43,338 --> 01:19:46,130 Come on. Come on! Come on! 1178 01:19:46,463 --> 01:19:48,297 Honey, you don't have to prove anything to me. 1179 01:19:49,839 --> 01:19:51,173 I want us to have some fun together. 1180 01:19:53,465 --> 01:19:55,466 - Come on! - The water's very... 1181 01:20:30,015 --> 01:20:30,973 We must be getting close. 1182 01:20:32,390 --> 01:20:34,682 We're almost there. Everybody just take it easy. 1183 01:20:40,768 --> 01:20:43,936 I know we're getting close. What is that? What is that? 1184 01:20:44,685 --> 01:20:46,186 There it is! 1185 01:20:46,311 --> 01:20:48,770 Walley World, next three exits! 1186 01:20:52,604 --> 01:20:54,188 We made it dammit! We made it! 1187 01:20:56,064 --> 01:20:58,606 The Griswolds are one hell of a family, huh? 1188 01:21:02,564 --> 01:21:03,732 Don't get too much sun, now. 1189 01:21:10,610 --> 01:21:11,944 It's beautiful! 1190 01:21:12,568 --> 01:21:13,903 It's just beautiful! 1191 01:21:16,444 --> 01:21:17,570 Oh, darling! 1192 01:21:20,902 --> 01:21:24,611 - We made it! - You did it, Clark. Sparky... 1193 01:21:42,699 --> 01:21:43,699 We're the first ones here! 1194 01:21:47,952 --> 01:21:48,910 We're the first ones here! 1195 01:21:49,952 --> 01:21:51,786 But we're so far away, Clark. 1196 01:21:53,786 --> 01:21:55,745 And, at the end of the day, when the lot's all full... 1197 01:21:55,911 --> 01:21:56,994 ...and everybody's fighting to get out of here... 1198 01:21:57,119 --> 01:21:59,245 ...we'll be the first ones to get out, too! 1199 01:22:00,704 --> 01:22:01,372 Why? 1200 01:22:02,122 --> 01:22:04,288 Because we're the Griswolds! 1201 01:22:07,373 --> 01:22:08,207 Come on, I'll race you! 1202 01:23:20,222 --> 01:23:21,222 Sorry, folks. 1203 01:23:21,347 --> 01:23:22,556 We're closed for 2 weeks... 1204 01:23:22,639 --> 01:23:26,057 ...to clean and repair America's favorite family fun park! 1205 01:23:33,684 --> 01:23:35,351 Clark! What are you doing? 1206 01:23:36,018 --> 01:23:37,394 We watch his program. 1207 01:23:38,019 --> 01:23:39,561 We buy his toys. We go to his movies! 1208 01:23:39,728 --> 01:23:40,644 He owes us! 1209 01:23:41,145 --> 01:23:42,562 Doesn't he owe us, huh? 1210 01:23:43,312 --> 01:23:44,646 He owes the Griswolds, right?! 1211 01:23:44,979 --> 01:23:46,313 Fucking right, he owes us! 1212 01:23:46,730 --> 01:23:48,188 Clark, you're scaring me! 1213 01:23:48,564 --> 01:23:49,646 Don't be scared! 1214 01:23:49,813 --> 01:23:52,480 I just think someone owes us an explanation, that's all! 1215 01:23:53,063 --> 01:23:54,733 Come on... 1216 01:23:55,982 --> 01:23:56,982 Clark, now just a minute! 1217 01:24:16,110 --> 01:24:18,068 Honey, will you check the mileage, please? 1218 01:24:18,903 --> 01:24:19,903 Where are you going? 1219 01:24:20,111 --> 01:24:21,111 I'll be right back... 1220 01:24:21,611 --> 01:24:22,822 I'm just going to get some sporting goods. 1221 01:24:35,700 --> 01:24:37,199 Clark, will you listen to me? 1222 01:24:37,700 --> 01:24:39,034 Let's just find a hotel. 1223 01:24:39,367 --> 01:24:41,034 I'll have my parents wire us money. 1224 01:24:41,200 --> 01:24:43,201 We'll fly home and forget this vacation ever happened. 1225 01:24:44,035 --> 01:24:47,702 Relax. I told you I'm not angry anymore, I'm in complete control. 1226 01:24:48,035 --> 01:24:50,202 They can't be repairing every ride at the same time! 1227 01:24:50,621 --> 01:24:52,954 I think they owe us an explanation and a little fun. 1228 01:24:53,538 --> 01:24:54,538 Whatever happens, just trust me. 1229 01:24:54,788 --> 01:24:55,788 Will you just trust me? 1230 01:25:02,707 --> 01:25:04,249 Sorry folks, the park's closed. 1231 01:25:04,416 --> 01:25:05,996 The moose outside should have told you. 1232 01:25:06,873 --> 01:25:08,706 Yes, we're here to see Mr. Roy Walley. 1233 01:25:08,955 --> 01:25:10,123 What is your name, sir? 1234 01:25:10,206 --> 01:25:11,206 Clark W. Griswold. 1235 01:25:14,791 --> 01:25:16,207 What is this regarding, Mr. Griswold? 1236 01:25:16,458 --> 01:25:20,084 It's a public... business... summer inspection... 1237 01:25:20,126 --> 01:25:21,127 Personal matter. 1238 01:25:25,836 --> 01:25:29,545 Well, nobody notified this office of anything! 1239 01:25:31,004 --> 01:25:31,962 Well, I'm notifying you. 1240 01:25:32,755 --> 01:25:34,422 I'll need more than that, sir. 1241 01:25:39,340 --> 01:25:41,466 Have you lost your mind? Where did you get that? 1242 01:25:41,924 --> 01:25:42,923 At the sporting goods store. 1243 01:25:43,048 --> 01:25:43,882 You listen to me, fat ass. 1244 01:25:43,964 --> 01:25:45,965 You do what I say and there won't be any problems, okay? 1245 01:25:46,924 --> 01:25:51,260 We drove 2,460 miles, just for a little Roy Walley entertainment. 1246 01:25:51,344 --> 01:25:53,469 The Moose says you're closed. I say you're open. 1247 01:25:53,844 --> 01:25:56,053 We're not really violent people. 1248 01:25:56,136 --> 01:25:57,470 This is our first gun. 1249 01:25:57,762 --> 01:25:58,763 No, it isn't. 1250 01:26:00,638 --> 01:26:01,636 What's going on here? 1251 01:26:01,885 --> 01:26:03,052 You! Freeze! Freeze! 1252 01:26:03,927 --> 01:26:05,261 Sit! Sit! 1253 01:26:06,595 --> 01:26:08,429 Lie down! Let's go, lie down! 1254 01:26:10,262 --> 01:26:11,262 Roll over! 1255 01:26:12,347 --> 01:26:13,222 Stay! 1256 01:26:15,932 --> 01:26:18,600 Okay! Let's ride! Let's ride! Come on! 1257 01:26:19,891 --> 01:26:20,849 Stay! 1258 01:26:27,184 --> 01:26:28,184 This is scary isn't it? 1259 01:26:28,351 --> 01:26:29,560 You boys and girls make sure... 1260 01:26:29,602 --> 01:26:31,644 ...you keep your hands on the handlebars at all times. 1261 01:26:31,976 --> 01:26:33,478 We don't want any accidents! 1262 01:26:33,645 --> 01:26:34,645 Is that a real gun, Mom? 1263 01:26:34,811 --> 01:26:38,020 I don't know. But when this is all over... 1264 01:26:38,771 --> 01:26:41,270 ...your father may be going away for a little while. 1265 01:26:41,437 --> 01:26:42,688 Boy, I sure am bushed! 1266 01:26:42,772 --> 01:26:43,772 Have you had enough yet, sir? 1267 01:26:45,147 --> 01:26:46,148 What do you mean "bushed"? 1268 01:26:47,398 --> 01:26:49,106 Where are the big rides? The big ones? 1269 01:26:56,108 --> 01:26:57,193 Let's go. Get in the front. 1270 01:26:57,276 --> 01:26:58,273 Come on. 1271 01:27:03,150 --> 01:27:04,983 Has your father ever killed anyone before? 1272 01:27:05,900 --> 01:27:06,859 Just a dog. 1273 01:27:07,193 --> 01:27:08,527 Oh, and my Aunt Edna. 1274 01:27:08,652 --> 01:27:10,486 Hey! You can't prove that, Rusty. 1275 01:27:13,904 --> 01:27:15,571 Rusty? May I call you Rusty? 1276 01:27:16,738 --> 01:27:18,862 I had a bad experience on this ride once before. 1277 01:27:19,571 --> 01:27:20,531 What happened? 1278 01:27:21,280 --> 01:27:22,239 I threw up. 1279 01:27:37,826 --> 01:27:38,785 Now, don't do that again! 1280 01:29:17,684 --> 01:29:19,100 Goodie, goodie, goodie! The Loop-D-Loop! 1281 01:29:19,225 --> 01:29:20,934 Come on, get in there. Let's go, huh, kids? 1282 01:29:21,101 --> 01:29:22,059 Please, don't push! 1283 01:29:22,101 --> 01:29:24,144 Come on, Audrey. Isn't this fun, honey? 1284 01:29:27,562 --> 01:29:28,978 That's not a real gun, is it, Clark? 1285 01:29:30,227 --> 01:29:31,853 What? Are you kidding?! This is a Magnum P.I.! 1286 01:29:32,228 --> 01:29:33,186 It's a BB-gun! 1287 01:29:33,980 --> 01:29:35,730 Don't try me. I could put your eye out with this. 1288 01:29:36,230 --> 01:29:37,565 You couldn't even break skin with that. 1289 01:29:37,897 --> 01:29:39,523 It could! It could break the skin. 1290 01:29:39,897 --> 01:29:42,732 It could put a lodge under the skin and cause a bad infection. 1291 01:29:42,815 --> 01:29:44,316 That's an old wives' tale, Clark! 1292 01:29:44,400 --> 01:29:45,358 I'm telling. 1293 01:29:48,981 --> 01:29:50,648 See, I told you! I warned you! 1294 01:29:50,897 --> 01:29:52,441 If you wrecked the pants, you'll pay for them! 1295 01:29:52,524 --> 01:29:53,524 Yeah, I'll pay for 'em. 1296 01:31:08,043 --> 01:31:08,709 Freeze! 1297 01:31:13,169 --> 01:31:13,919 Don't shoot! 1298 01:31:18,254 --> 01:31:19,588 Hands behind your heads! 1299 01:31:20,255 --> 01:31:21,213 Spread your legs! 1300 01:31:22,504 --> 01:31:23,963 Move up against the wall! 1301 01:31:24,172 --> 01:31:25,505 You two, over there! 1302 01:31:28,923 --> 01:31:29,840 It's just a BB-gun! 1303 01:31:30,257 --> 01:31:31,592 You are all under arrest. 1304 01:31:32,425 --> 01:31:33,758 You have the right to remain silent. 1305 01:31:35,259 --> 01:31:36,925 Watch your hands, mister! 1306 01:31:44,259 --> 01:31:45,134 How many are there? 1307 01:31:45,259 --> 01:31:46,259 A lot of them? 1308 01:31:47,968 --> 01:31:49,968 Whatever they want... We'll pay 'em! We'll pay 'em! 1309 01:31:50,052 --> 01:31:50,926 Tell me, what is going on? 1310 01:31:51,428 --> 01:31:53,261 Everything's under control, sir. They are terrorists! 1311 01:31:53,386 --> 01:31:54,011 Where? 1312 01:31:54,762 --> 01:31:55,429 Them? 1313 01:31:57,263 --> 01:31:58,598 He treated me like a dog! 1314 01:31:58,930 --> 01:32:00,263 He humiliated me! 1315 01:32:00,888 --> 01:32:01,764 What did he do with your dog? 1316 01:32:01,847 --> 01:32:03,597 He kidnapped me, Mr. Wally, but I gotta tell you... 1317 01:32:03,680 --> 01:32:04,848 ...I had a great time on your rides. 1318 01:32:04,932 --> 01:32:06,474 It was the most fantastic experience I've ever had! 1319 01:32:06,557 --> 01:32:08,516 I like the part where you go really way up high... 1320 01:32:08,558 --> 01:32:11,058 I'm glad you liked it. Now, what's happening? 1321 01:32:11,266 --> 01:32:12,351 That is Roy Walley, honey! 1322 01:32:13,642 --> 01:32:16,143 I'm Russ Lasky. I met you at the summer picnic last year. 1323 01:32:17,352 --> 01:32:18,060 I don't remember. 1324 01:32:18,101 --> 01:32:19,268 They kidnapped one of my men. 1325 01:32:19,393 --> 01:32:20,352 I was the one who got sick. 1326 01:32:20,601 --> 01:32:22,602 Anyway Mr. Wally, I went on all the rides... 1327 01:32:22,685 --> 01:32:25,480 ...I didn't get sick this time. Normally I get sick on all your rides... 1328 01:32:25,563 --> 01:32:26,188 Quiet! 1329 01:32:29,272 --> 01:32:31,272 Mr. Walley... Roy? 1330 01:32:32,814 --> 01:32:34,940 I think I can make some sense out of this. 1331 01:32:35,315 --> 01:32:36,982 Well, someone had better explain! 1332 01:32:38,146 --> 01:32:39,813 Or there will be a lot of explaining to do! 1333 01:32:40,813 --> 01:32:42,314 I'm Clark W. Griswold. 1334 01:32:44,398 --> 01:32:45,856 This is my wife, Ellen. 1335 01:32:46,607 --> 01:32:50,108 Hi. We're big fans of yours. We watch your show all the time. 1336 01:32:51,608 --> 01:32:53,610 These are my children, Audrey and Rusty. 1337 01:32:54,069 --> 01:32:54,902 Nice family. 1338 01:32:58,152 --> 01:33:00,070 We're from Chicago, Roy. "The Windy City." 1339 01:33:00,320 --> 01:33:01,819 I've been there many times. 1340 01:33:02,237 --> 01:33:06,321 We just spent two weeks of living hell, driving out here. 1341 01:33:08,280 --> 01:33:10,656 We lost a dear member of the family on the way. 1342 01:33:13,031 --> 01:33:15,573 But, the important thing, Roy, is that... 1343 01:33:15,615 --> 01:33:17,698 ...we could have gone anywhere we wanted to this summer. 1344 01:33:17,782 --> 01:33:18,990 Anywhere in the world. 1345 01:33:19,366 --> 01:33:20,700 But when I asked my kids... 1346 01:33:22,201 --> 01:33:25,202 Kids, remember when I asked you where you wanted to go on vacation? 1347 01:33:25,701 --> 01:33:26,660 What did you say? 1348 01:33:26,785 --> 01:33:27,411 Hawaii? 1349 01:33:28,370 --> 01:33:29,203 Shut up, Russ. 1350 01:33:29,370 --> 01:33:30,370 Audrey, you remember? 1351 01:33:31,537 --> 01:33:32,537 Walley World, Dad? 1352 01:33:33,204 --> 01:33:35,618 "Walley World, Dad! " Roy Walley World. 1353 01:33:37,370 --> 01:33:39,203 Do you have any children, Mr. Walley? 1354 01:33:39,370 --> 01:33:40,954 Are you kidding? I have seven. 1355 01:33:41,120 --> 01:33:41,787 I thought so. 1356 01:33:42,371 --> 01:33:43,912 Seven, did you hear that, honey? 1357 01:33:44,455 --> 01:33:45,413 You look so young! 1358 01:33:49,040 --> 01:33:50,706 Did you ever drive them across country? 1359 01:33:52,291 --> 01:33:53,957 I took the whole clan to Florida one year. 1360 01:33:54,290 --> 01:33:56,458 The worst two weeks I ever had in my life. 1361 01:33:56,874 --> 01:33:59,042 The smell from the backseat was too unbearable. 1362 01:34:00,125 --> 01:34:01,084 I know that smell. 1363 01:34:05,919 --> 01:34:09,087 Imagine how your kids would have felt if Florida had been closed. 1364 01:34:09,503 --> 01:34:10,962 They don't close Florida. 1365 01:34:11,087 --> 01:34:13,586 I know they don't close the state of Florida. 1366 01:34:15,088 --> 01:34:17,297 When we got here, to Roy Walley World... 1367 01:34:17,713 --> 01:34:19,423 ...and it was closed down... 1368 01:34:20,090 --> 01:34:22,258 If you had seen the look on my kids faces. 1369 01:34:22,507 --> 01:34:23,841 I guess I went a little haywire. 1370 01:34:24,007 --> 01:34:25,800 You went a lot haywire, if you ask me! 1371 01:34:25,925 --> 01:34:26,925 I'm very sorry, sir. 1372 01:34:27,425 --> 01:34:28,926 I'm sorry to all these people. 1373 01:34:29,260 --> 01:34:30,759 I didn't mean any harm. 1374 01:34:31,506 --> 01:34:33,258 I want you to ask yourself one thing. 1375 01:34:35,507 --> 01:34:36,716 If you were me... 1376 01:34:36,883 --> 01:34:39,051 ...wouldn't you have done the same thing for your children? 1377 01:34:40,051 --> 01:34:41,051 No. 1378 01:34:41,759 --> 01:34:44,593 Mr. Walley, do you want me to take them downtown and book them? 1379 01:34:48,929 --> 01:34:50,720 No... no. 1380 01:34:50,846 --> 01:34:53,596 Forget it, officer. I'm not going to press any charges. 1381 01:34:59,682 --> 01:35:01,473 What did I tell ya? Did I say trust me? 99853

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