All language subtitles for Big.Lake.S01E07.720p.HDTV.IMMERSE.en

I'm practicing my clarinet...

Oh, it's you.

What do you want, nutbag? Et...

what's goin' on in there?

Wouldn't you like to know.

Hey, I've been thinking.

We should have some
big brother/little brother time.

We could go to the mall.
I don't think so.

We could go bowling.

They got the rockin' ball
with the black lights.

It'll make our shirts glow.
No, I'm, uh...Kinda busy.

Well, then, could I just have
a ride to the movie theater?

Or anywhere...Really?

Get a ride to your balls.

That sounds live.

You guys going to the mall?

How can I eat breakfast
with that in my house?

Shh. He was up all night
playing video games.

Look!
He's dreaming about running.

He's probably running
from a job application.

Good morning, Josh.

Have you finished
winning world war ii?

Still working on it, mom.

As long as you keep
killing those Japanese,

I'm proud of you.

Where are the cinnamon rolls?

Oh, Josh said they're
too full of trans fats

and he won't let me
buy them anymore.

Yeah. You guys ate really
unhealthy before I got back.

I'm amazed you're still alive.

But there were eight left
yesterday.

I took a bullet
for you guys, and I ate those.

The sixth one made me throw up,
but I'm no quitter.

- Thanks!
- You're my hero.

Guys, I know that
me coming back and living here

has caused some tension
in this family.

You think so?

Maybe that's a good thing,
though, right?

That's how diamonds are made...
tension.

- That's pressure.
- Something's made by tension.

Maybe it's headaches?

- Could be ulcers.
- There's no wrong answers here.

The important thing
is that this tension has showed

that this family
has some serious problems.

The only problem is that
you lost all of my money.

And you sleep all day
on the couch,

and you won't get a job!

I wish it were that simple.

Me and you sniping,
the accusations,

the petty defiling
of toothbrushes

while the other's at work...
What?

These are just symptoms
of a larger disease.

But good news.
There is a cure.

We're going to family therapy.

The hell we are!

Dad, I know therapy
probably scares you

with your countrified ways,

but I did a lot of therapy
when I was in Philadelphia.

I did freudian, scream therapy.

I did prenatal regression.

Turns out, a lot of my problems

are because mom has
a substandard uterus.

- I'm so sorry.
- I'm gonna ask you

to stop talking
about your mother's uterus.

Was it too small or...
Or too big?

It was too loud.

You know, I did drink
a lot of iced tea back then.

Your mother has the
reproductive organs of an angel!

And we are not going
to therapy!

My family's so screwed up,

they don't even know
they need help!

Yeah.
Just like Kirstie Alley.

Candle in the wind.

Over here, dummy.

Well, this whole
"no child left behind" thing

has managed to bite me
right square in the ass.

Thank you again,
George Wallace bush Jr.

Should have left him behind.
Ha. Am I right? Ha ha.

Politics.
Anyone?

Oh...If I don't
get my class test scores up,

the school loses funding,
which means I lose my job.

And dummy here is so dumb,

he's single-handedly
bringing down the class average.

Thanks, dummy.
Maybe it would help

if you didn't call him dummy.

I don't know his real name.

You could ask him.

What's your real name, dummy?

Sam Samuels.

Not memorable.
Dummy it is.

If he were good at sports,
I could pass him,

but just my luck...
dummy's a spaz!

So I'm screwed.

Thank you, Barry Obama.

Hussein!
Ha ha.

Politics, right?

Have a seat, dummy.
In a chair?

Ch-air?

Um...You mean the booth?

Do you see what
I am dealing with?

I give up!

I'm not giving up on my family,

and you're not
giving up on dummy.

You and Glenn are smart guys.

Let him hang out
with you all weekend.

Half the time, these kids
just need a role model.

And the other half of the time

you just put rocks
in their pocket

and point them toward the surf.

Josh is right, you know?

We should give this kid a chance.

When I was a young boy,
I was having a lot of trouble,

and a wonderful older gentleman
became my mentor.

And he had many other
children around,

but he chose me
as a special boy.

We spent hours
and hours together.

Long nighttime
car rides of learning.

Overnight camping trip
study sessions.

Just...Plain old
fun time sleepovers.

What I'm trying to say

is you should be
this boy's mentor.

Impossible. I'm not the least
bit attracted to this kid.

But whatever.

He can hang out
with us for the weekend.

All right, that's the spirit.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

I have a family to save.

I wonder if
he still has that disease

where he needs to be
tickled all the time.

Wonderful.
You're all here!

It's the first step
to a healthy future.

What are you talking about?
I was just sitting here.

Who's this guy?
I found us a therapist.

He's gonna help us
dig down deep,

get to the bottom of what's
ailing my beloved family.

Actually,
I'm not really a therapist.

I just run
the local AA meeting.

- Oh. O-okay, I...
Misunderstood your credentials.

But that's okay.

Because this family
has developed

a serious dependency
on miscommunication

and, frankly, bad attitudes.

All right.
Let's get this session going.

It's time to get a check up
from the neck up.

All right,
my name is ray b.,

and I'm an alcoholic.

Ray?
Ray Benson?

Uh...Yeah.

I didn't know
you were an alcoholic!

Yes, I am.

Usually, these meetings
are anonymous.

Did you know ray
was an alcoholic?

- No, I had no idea.
- Yeah, I can't believe it.

Does Becky know?

It's something that Becky
and I have worked through.

We've become stronger
because of it.

She's probably a drunk too.

Okay, you know what?
Let's forget about me for a sec

and let's find the solution
to your pollution.

Okay, now, do you all know
why we're here today?

Is this an intervention
about my diet pills?

No.

All right, then.
Let's get started.

I can't believe Josh
is making us hang out

with this dummy.

I don't know how my mentor
enjoyed it so much.

There's a lot about that period
I don't remember.

It's so cool that you dudes
are hanging out with me

all weekend
to make me all smarter.

- Ay yi yi.
- For the love of Christ.

Once I touched a dead deer.

Wow.

You guys ever notice that

when you're humming
and you hold your nose,

the humming stops?

The name dummy
makes him sound too smart.

Is that true?

Yeah.
Hmm...

- Does that work for anybody?
- Probably.

Hmm...

Hmm...

That is pretty cool.
Yeah. Ha ha.

Hey, what that dead deer
feel like?

Did it smell?

I have like, literally,
a dozen questions.

- Now, I don't want
any self-pity

during this session, okay?

As we say, "poor me, poor me,
pour me another drink."

Or in this case,
pour me a family issue.

This guy's good.

I've seen it all,
and I done it all, you know?

I had to hit rock bottom

in order to make my way
up to the top.

I've done some terrible
things to get high.

I drank my baby's
teething medication

and let him cry into the night.

Tell it, brother.

I let hobos dress me up

as a pretty lady
and use me as such.

Okay, that took a weird turn.

Once, in a railcar,
they used me nonstop

from Des Moines
to the badlands of South Dakota.

It was a horrible way
to see America.

Is this how
your AA meetings go?

Yeah, little man.

Have you ever done drugs, ray?

Well, I never did drugs.
The drugs did me.

I, uh, owed my dealer
a lotta money

before I got clean,

but luckily,
I got away from all that.

Do you, uh, still owe money
to your drug dealer?

I like to think
that I owe him my life.

I mean, if he hadn't
gotten me so high,

I wouldn't have hit
rock bottom,

and I never would have found
my way back up.

I bet that drug dealer

doesn't care about
your personal story.

He probably
just wants his 2 grand.

Gee, I sure hope
he doesn't find you.

- W-what's that?

Because what you think
he's gonna do

is probably not as bad as what
he's really gonna do.

- You've grown.
- That's right!

He certainly has.
He's my growing little boy.

How much do you weigh now,
honey?

85 pounds.

All right, well, uh,

why don't we get back
to the matter at hand?

Uh...Nothing's more
important than family

and, uh, family's
more important than nothing.

I just, uh, made that one up.

I don't know if it works,
but, uh...

Ahh. It makes you think,
doesn't it?

Are you allowed to...

what?!

Look, we're getting
sidetracked here, okay?

We should be crying
and hugging by now, all right?

Let's dig down deep
and get to the issues.

Let's hear some buried
resentments, people.

And...Go.

- Okay. I-I'll go.

Sometimes when I'm baking,

I stick my arm in the oven

just so that I can feel
something.

My feelings are buried so deep

that I don't even know
who I am anymore!

And sometimes
when I look in the mirror,

I just wanna smash it!

Smash it!

Linda, honey, I had no idea.

Are you all right?

Mom, I'm so sorry.

I was just kidding.

That's the sort of thing

you're supposed to do
in therapy, right?

Oh, I should have
made it more Jewish.

I know therapy's
supposed to be for the Jews.

Wait a second.

Are you positive
that wasn't real?

Of course it wasn't real.

I don't cut myself with my
scrap booking scissors.

You didn't say anything
about scrap booking scissors.

What?!

You know, uh, this may
just be common sense talking,

but, uh, maybe some of
the tension you're all feeling

is 'cause your grown son
has moved back into the home.

No, no, no, that's just
a symptom of a larger problem.

Well, I mean, it may be
some gettin' used to,

him moving into
the spare bedroom...

he sleeps on the couch.

He just plays
video games all day.

- Are you serious?
- As a heart attack.

- How do you stand it?
- Well, to be honest with you,

I don't!

You know, I... I hate to see
a man drink alone.

Let me refill that for you.

- This therapy isn't working
out... I-it was a bad idea.

No, this is great!

Ray, can you stop by tomorrow?
Sure.

I think things
are going really good.

Are you absolutely sure

you're supposed to be
drinking like that?

Well, you know, sometimes
one drink is just one drink.

I don't think
that's one of their sayings.

Well, I say it!

So what were we talking about?

- Monsters!
- Oh, right, okay, okay.

All right, here's why teen wolf
is the smartest monster.

- Aw, get outta town.
- Wait, let's hear him out.

At first you think teen wolf

would be less smart
that the wolfman

'cause he's a teenager, right?

- Right.
- But teen wolf

plays basketball
and does all his homework,

whereas the wolfman
just runs around

going crazy and eating people.

- Hmm.
- I stand corrected.

Hey, imagine how smart
a wolf baby would be.

Hey, dummy's
gonna take us to the pet store

and show us how to give
rabbits boners... wanna come?

Do I ever.

But I have to go see
this stupid therapist.

I hired this guy
to help figure out

what's wrong with my family.

He seems to think
the problem is me

playing video games all day
and not having a job.

That guy's good.
How much does he charge?

I'm just so tired of my dad
blaming me for everything.

Hey, if you need advice,
you should ask dummy.

He can make a fart that sounds
exactly like a bird.

It's an oriole.

You know, it takes two

to do the dysfunction tango.

My dad's gonna have to realize

that he needs to take
equal responsibility

for all the things
that are wrong with his life.

You lost $385,000 of his money.

T-that's on you.

Yeah, I'll give you that one.

Now who's the dummy?

See how awesome he is?

I'm gonna go back there,
and I'm gonna stand with my dad

while we both look in
the mirror naked...Emotionally.

Or physically.

Really, whatever
gets him to realize

that our relationship's
worth more than money

or sitting on your own couch
or whatever else I've messed up.

It's about family.

Oh, man, I am so glad
my dad is dead.

Nice glasses, grandpa.

Hey, these are
my reading glasses.

I need them to read.

"Oh, these are
my reading glasses.

I need them to read."

- Am I gonna order something

off the seniors' menu?

Ha ha ha ha!

Wait. It does say
seniors' menu.

It's not fuzzy anymore.
I can read all of this.

Okay, you're kind of
losing the impression.

Yeah, yeah,
Chris would never say that.

No, I'm serious... I thought
I wasn't good at reading,

but I just couldn't
see the words very well.

I can't believe this.
Good for you.

But put the book down.
Let's have some more fun!

"A butterfly's cocoon
is also called a chrysalis."

A butterfly's cocoon

is also called a cryst-alis.

It's chrysalis.

Ha ha ha...
Did you know

that the average lifespan
for a butterfly

is only two weeks?

- No.
- Imagine that.

You'd have to pack
so much life into every minute.

Come on, man!

Them rabbits aren't gonna
give themselves boners.

Hey, welcome back, ray!
I made ya a drink.

Well, thank you, Carlos.

Just what the unlicensed
therapist ordered.

Oh, hey, I thought
of a bunch of other ways

Josh is destroying this family.
Hmm.

Now, how does this work?
Do I read the list,

or do I give it to you
and you read it?

We could do it either way.
It doesn't, uh...

- Hello, ray.
- Jeremy!

Jeremy.
Uh, uh...

I understand you have
a school fundraiser...

- Yeah.
- Uh...

That you, uh,
need some money for.

Here you go.
And, uh...

This is, uh, some of
my wife's jewelry.

And this is my son's iPod.
It's almost new.

He just got it for Christmas.
Oh, great.

Now we're just about, uh,
$1,400 short of our goal,

and, uh, the school fundraiser
ends this Friday.

Oh, Christ.

- Ray, ray.
- Oh. Oh.

Thank you.

All right, guys.

I'm ready to talk about
our family's problems.

So am I!

All right.
Well, then, let's begin!

I'll start.

Dad...I'm willing to admit

that I'm part of
the problem, okay?

I play too many video games.
I'm living on the couch.

And, yeah, I lost
quite a bit of your money.

Now, is there anything
you wanna say to me?

So you see?
He admits it, he's the problem!

No, no, no, no.
See, this is the part

where you get to admit all the
things that you've done wrong.

I didn't do anything wrong.

Really, dad?

Well, then, where were you
when I was growing up,

'cause you were never here.

I'd come home from school.

You'd just wander in
hours later.

Josh, you wouldn't know
about this,

but I have a thing called...
A job.

Good...Good answer.

I-I did not anticipate that.
That's...

I lost my train of thought.
What were we talking about?

Good share, Josh.
Good share!

How many of those have you had?

Boy, this family sure does
like to count drinks!

You know,
at the end of the day,

it's not about having a job...

or that lonely train whistle
outside Sioux Falls.

It's about how you
never supported me, dad.

You know, I've had ups,
I've had downs,

but I can only count on you
to be there during the downs.

As soon as you have an up,
let me know.

What about when I worked
at the bank... that was an up.

And I never heard
a peep outta you.

You only called
after I lost everything

to tell me what an idiot I was.

It was.

Oh, my goodness.

I think he's dead.

This really blows
for his drug dealer.

Oh, my God.

His vital signs are weak.

His extremities
are starting to swell.

Okay.
This is bad.

I think he drank
some of my brass cleaner.

We could all go down for
criminally negligent homicide!

We're all looking at a dime!

Why didn't you do something?

Me? You're the one
who kept feeding him drinks.

When the cops come...

Keep your mouth shut.

If they pressure us,
we roll over on dad.

Guys!

Look at us...
At each other's throats.

If ray taught us one thing...

Ray taught us nothing.

But what matters
is that we stick together

like a family.

So what do we do?

Don't worry.
I've got a plan.

Hurry up!
Come on!

Josh, Josh!

Buckle up, buckle up.
Here we go.

Go!

Hey. Check out dummy.

What a dick!

We gotta tell dummy he
can't hang out with us anymore.

Absolutely.
This guy's gotta go.

Hey, dummy.
Have a seat.

We have something
we wanna tell you.

Oh, that's great.

I have something I wanna
tell you guys also.

- Okay, you go first.
- Guys, I gotta say...

This isn't working out.

I gotta be around people
who challenge me intellectually

rather than sitting around
a restaurant all day

talking about rabbit boners.

That was your idea.

And you never showed us
how to do it either.

You know...It's not too late
for you guys

to come out of your
chrysalises.

Open your eyes... there's a whole
big world around you.

You helped me.

Et me help you.

Shove it up your ass,
four eyes.

Let's go rent teen wolf.

That sounds nice, pal.
Real nice.

They say he's okay.

He was only out there
two hours before they found him.

Josh, I'd just like to say
you did a really good job

handling the situation tonight.

Really?

Yeah. And, uh...

If, uh, I'm ever again
in a situation

where I might be responsible
for a...Dead body,

I want you there with me, son.

Thanks, dad.
That really means a lot.

All right, come on, now.

Let's all go out for dinner.

Hang on.
I had ray's last name wrong.

He's dead.

So, you guys want Chinese?

That's a great idea, dad.

Well, if his number's up,
his number's up.

Circle of life.

Ray would have wanted us

to have a pu pu platter.

Corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com