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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:44,735 Look, her first high-end retail shopping experience. 2 00:00:44,809 --> 00:00:46,606 Her nanny tried to take her to Baby Gap... 3 00:00:46,677 --> 00:00:48,838 but she'd just cry and cry. 4 00:00:48,913 --> 00:00:51,404 She was a professional shopper at age three. 5 00:00:51,482 --> 00:00:52,744 Oh, wow! 6 00:00:52,817 --> 00:00:54,910 Remember when she was on the cover of "Seventeen"? 7 00:00:54,986 --> 00:00:57,511 She had so much potential back then. 8 00:00:57,588 --> 00:01:00,716 Look at her. She could have been a Playmate by now. 9 00:01:00,792 --> 00:01:03,352 Hello! She's a lawyer. 10 00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:05,919 - That's way better. - Why? 11 00:01:05,997 --> 00:01:07,362 There she is! 12 00:01:07,432 --> 00:01:09,923 You always said she has the perfect shaped head... 13 00:01:10,001 --> 00:01:12,868 for a tiara! 14 00:01:12,937 --> 00:01:15,929 Look at that slime dog! 15 00:01:16,007 --> 00:01:19,704 It was so nice of you to make this for Elle's wedding shower. 16 00:01:19,777 --> 00:01:22,211 I can't scrapbook worth a damn. 17 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,714 I took a class on it at community college. 18 00:01:24,782 --> 00:01:26,511 - She got a "B." - Plus! 19 00:01:28,886 --> 00:01:30,854 The day she passed her LSAT! 20 00:01:30,922 --> 00:01:33,254 I swallowed some of that Silly String. 21 00:01:33,324 --> 00:01:34,655 It wouldn't be the first time. 22 00:01:34,725 --> 00:01:38,252 Look at that. Her first day at Harvard. 23 00:01:38,329 --> 00:01:40,229 Unbelievable. Awesome. 24 00:01:40,298 --> 00:01:43,665 The Bend and Snap! 25 00:01:43,734 --> 00:01:46,464 I love that. I did it last night naked. 26 00:01:46,537 --> 00:01:50,064 - You did not. - Yes. I busted a window. 27 00:01:50,141 --> 00:01:53,838 Oh, my God, there's Bruiser's first highlights. 28 00:01:53,911 --> 00:01:56,436 Is this the key to her first office at the firm? 29 00:01:56,514 --> 00:02:00,951 Remember that Caribbean decor? It was genius. 30 00:02:01,018 --> 00:02:05,614 Look, there she is with Congresswoman Rudd... 31 00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:08,591 when they started the Harvard alumni women's event. 32 00:02:08,659 --> 00:02:11,253 - Yeah. - That's two kick-ass women. 33 00:02:11,329 --> 00:02:14,423 I like them. I really like them. 34 00:02:15,833 --> 00:02:19,132 The first day they met! Emmett loves her already. 35 00:02:19,203 --> 00:02:21,296 You can see it in his eyes. 36 00:02:21,372 --> 00:02:22,498 Emmett and Elle. 37 00:02:22,573 --> 00:02:26,634 They're truly Romeo and Juliet without the dying. 38 00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:28,008 Paulette? 39 00:02:28,079 --> 00:02:30,274 Oh, my God! Girls, I think it's her. 40 00:02:30,348 --> 00:02:32,782 - Quick! Lights out! - OK! 41 00:02:36,153 --> 00:02:38,314 Paulette? 42 00:02:38,389 --> 00:02:41,825 I thought we were supposed to be at the movies by 9:00. 43 00:02:41,893 --> 00:02:44,862 Surprise! 44 00:02:51,402 --> 00:02:53,199 We got her! 45 00:02:53,271 --> 00:02:55,603 Oh, my God! Margot, Serena, I cannot believe... 46 00:02:55,673 --> 00:02:57,334 you guys flew all the way here! 47 00:02:57,408 --> 00:02:59,808 - No biggie. - On the contrary. 48 00:02:59,877 --> 00:03:01,811 It's a huge biggie. Thank you. 49 00:03:01,879 --> 00:03:03,642 You guys are the best. 50 00:03:03,714 --> 00:03:07,844 Speaking of biggies, can we see your ring again? 51 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:11,252 Not your Delta Nu ring, Elle. 52 00:03:11,322 --> 00:03:13,984 You mean, this one? 53 00:03:16,193 --> 00:03:19,526 Clarity between F.L. And V.V.S. Nice girdle diameter. 54 00:03:19,597 --> 00:03:22,031 Cut impeccable. It's a keeper. 55 00:03:22,099 --> 00:03:24,329 Thanks! 56 00:03:24,402 --> 00:03:27,269 Oh, my gosh, it's from Emmett! 57 00:03:27,338 --> 00:03:30,535 That's me and Emmett on Fenway baseball field. 58 00:03:30,608 --> 00:03:32,269 It's his favorite place in the whole world. 59 00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:35,471 I love snow globes. 60 00:03:36,614 --> 00:03:38,912 I can hear the ocean. 61 00:03:38,983 --> 00:03:41,918 Listen, honey, you're a full-time bride now... 62 00:03:41,986 --> 00:03:43,783 so you'll need a whole new wardrobe. 63 00:03:43,854 --> 00:03:47,085 I'm not quitting my job, you guys. 64 00:03:47,158 --> 00:03:49,217 Do you guys remember that feeling we used to get... 65 00:03:49,293 --> 00:03:51,420 during a really intense Spinning class? 66 00:03:51,495 --> 00:03:55,693 That we feel so truly amazing about ourselves? 67 00:03:55,766 --> 00:03:58,462 That's how I feel being a lawyer. I love it. 68 00:03:58,536 --> 00:04:01,528 I have this huge annual review coming up... 69 00:04:01,606 --> 00:04:03,801 so keep 'em crossed, girls. 70 00:04:03,874 --> 00:04:05,398 Crossed! 71 00:04:07,445 --> 00:04:09,606 Congratulations, you did it. 72 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,639 With three wrong answers, you've managed to undermine... 73 00:04:13,718 --> 00:04:17,984 the entire foundation upon which our legal system's built. 74 00:04:18,055 --> 00:04:21,422 And by the way... 75 00:04:21,492 --> 00:04:24,017 it only took me two wrong answers. 76 00:04:31,669 --> 00:04:36,231 Sweetie, you customized my ring? Again? 77 00:04:36,307 --> 00:04:39,071 Emmett, you are never going to believe my news! 78 00:04:39,143 --> 00:04:41,270 - What? - Fenway Park! 79 00:04:41,345 --> 00:04:44,337 You, me, two rings, and one recently ordained umpire... 80 00:04:44,415 --> 00:04:45,643 right on the entry field! 81 00:04:45,716 --> 00:04:47,741 Infield. What are you talking about? 82 00:04:47,818 --> 00:04:50,116 It turns out the starting pitcher for the Red Sox... 83 00:04:50,187 --> 00:04:52,314 has an unfortunate unibrow problem. 84 00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:54,449 He goes to Nadia, my waxer... 85 00:04:54,525 --> 00:04:56,356 so the team pulled some strings with the site manager... 86 00:04:56,427 --> 00:04:58,088 and we're getting married at Fenway! 87 00:04:58,162 --> 00:05:00,653 Are you serious? 88 00:05:00,731 --> 00:05:03,962 Are you sure this is what you want to do? 89 00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:07,698 I can married anywhere and it wouldn't matter. 90 00:05:07,772 --> 00:05:09,603 That's a lie. 91 00:05:09,674 --> 00:05:14,373 I'm getting married under the Green Monster! 92 00:05:14,445 --> 00:05:16,436 Yes! 93 00:05:16,514 --> 00:05:18,482 And in just three months and four days! 94 00:05:18,549 --> 00:05:20,813 Emmett, we have so much to talk about. 95 00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:23,854 I want everybody who matters to us to be there. 96 00:05:25,790 --> 00:05:28,554 Oh, my God! I almost forgot! 97 00:05:30,294 --> 00:05:31,228 You want me to what? 98 00:05:31,228 --> 00:05:32,559 You want me to what? 99 00:05:32,630 --> 00:05:35,190 A biological birth parent search. 100 00:05:35,266 --> 00:05:37,131 For your dog. 101 00:05:37,201 --> 00:05:40,568 For my Chihuahua-American Bruiser Woods. 102 00:05:40,638 --> 00:05:44,233 I found him abandoned years ago. 103 00:05:44,308 --> 00:05:48,039 Miss, I'm the highest-paid, most sought after... 104 00:05:48,112 --> 00:05:51,172 private investigator in the greater Boston area. 105 00:05:51,248 --> 00:05:52,875 That's precisely why we came to you, Detective. 106 00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:56,647 It is absolutely vital that we find Bruiser's mother pronto. 107 00:05:56,721 --> 00:06:00,987 His father might be more difficult. You know dogs. 108 00:06:01,058 --> 00:06:02,423 May I ask why? 109 00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:04,427 Of course. "Martha Stewart Weddings"... 110 00:06:04,495 --> 00:06:07,362 recommends a 4 to 6-week window for RSVPs... 111 00:06:07,431 --> 00:06:09,956 and I can't send the invitation without an address. 112 00:06:10,034 --> 00:06:13,401 And the sooner I get started on the calligraphy the better. 113 00:06:13,471 --> 00:06:16,406 You want to send an invitation to your wedding... 114 00:06:16,474 --> 00:06:19,034 to your dog's mother. And you're serious? 115 00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:20,441 Detective, if I have to make room... 116 00:06:20,511 --> 00:06:22,445 for my second cousin's vegan diet coach... 117 00:06:22,513 --> 00:06:24,242 you better believe I'll make room for the mother... 118 00:06:24,315 --> 00:06:27,011 of the one loving creature who's always been there for me. 119 00:06:27,084 --> 00:06:30,212 In fact, I can't believe I haven't done this sooner! 120 00:06:30,287 --> 00:06:33,051 I'm thinking the same thing. 121 00:06:40,264 --> 00:06:42,095 - Elle! - Hi, Mr. Blaine. 122 00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,430 - The client is thrilled. - Good! 123 00:06:44,502 --> 00:06:46,902 How you seamlessly negotiated that deal? 124 00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:50,407 - It was simply magnifique. - Thank you. 125 00:06:50,474 --> 00:06:51,702 Big staff meeting today, kiddo. 126 00:06:51,776 --> 00:06:55,337 All right. I got my fingers crossed. 127 00:06:55,412 --> 00:06:57,846 Milton, two shots, extra foam. 128 00:06:57,915 --> 00:07:00,577 - Wow. Thanks, E.W. - No problem! 129 00:07:00,651 --> 00:07:02,915 - Go get 'em today. - Thanks. 130 00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,955 Soy for you, honey. No dairy. 131 00:07:05,022 --> 00:07:06,853 That's right. Thank you. Your call list is endless. 132 00:07:06,924 --> 00:07:08,892 - It is? - We better get right on it. 133 00:07:10,427 --> 00:07:12,918 Kevin, you shouldn't have! 134 00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:15,465 I'm not sure they're giving me the promotion today. 135 00:07:15,533 --> 00:07:17,467 It's just a widespread yet credible rumor. 136 00:07:17,535 --> 00:07:20,060 It's from me and the girls. 137 00:07:20,137 --> 00:07:21,832 Oh, right! 138 00:07:23,974 --> 00:07:25,498 Now do me. 139 00:07:28,879 --> 00:07:31,143 I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. 140 00:07:31,215 --> 00:07:32,944 - Me, too! - You do? 141 00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:35,076 I had no idea I could be this happy... 142 00:07:35,152 --> 00:07:38,019 without accruing credit card debt. 143 00:07:38,088 --> 00:07:39,851 Already? 144 00:07:39,924 --> 00:07:43,291 Well, Miss Woods, even the weird ones get cracked. 145 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,124 - You ready? - Yes! 146 00:07:48,432 --> 00:07:51,026 Bruiser Woods... 147 00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:53,626 meet your mom. 148 00:07:53,704 --> 00:07:56,502 Bruiser... your cheekbones. 149 00:07:58,442 --> 00:07:59,875 And it's all in there. 150 00:07:59,944 --> 00:08:02,412 Good luck finding whatever it is you're looking for. 151 00:08:04,148 --> 00:08:07,606 Oh, my God! She's a Bostonian! 152 00:08:10,254 --> 00:08:13,382 Bruiser, we're here! 153 00:08:13,457 --> 00:08:15,288 As your adoptive mother, I'm sure you're nervous... 154 00:08:15,359 --> 00:08:16,792 about meeting your birth mother... 155 00:08:16,861 --> 00:08:21,423 but hear her out, OK? I'm sure she had her reasons. 156 00:08:21,498 --> 00:08:23,898 Bruiser, your mother lives at... 157 00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:25,697 the top secret Versace think-tank! 158 00:08:25,769 --> 00:08:27,828 I told you they had one! 159 00:08:27,905 --> 00:08:29,031 No, ma'am. 160 00:08:29,106 --> 00:08:31,336 Unless you have a pass, you cannot go up there. 161 00:08:31,408 --> 00:08:33,342 Lucky I always keep it on me. 162 00:08:33,410 --> 00:08:36,811 Hold on. It's right here. 163 00:08:36,881 --> 00:08:38,542 There you go. 164 00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:40,675 What is it? 165 00:08:40,751 --> 00:08:42,378 It's my double platinum V.V.I.P. Versace... 166 00:08:42,453 --> 00:08:44,512 Preferred Customer identification card. 167 00:08:44,588 --> 00:08:47,819 Available only to those that've shopped on five continents. 168 00:08:47,892 --> 00:08:49,723 If that fails to satisfy you, you can also contact... 169 00:08:49,793 --> 00:08:52,353 Billy Dailey, head of customer relations. 170 00:08:52,429 --> 00:08:53,760 You got the wrong VERSACE, lady. 171 00:08:53,831 --> 00:08:55,992 Really? Donatella's not here? 172 00:08:56,066 --> 00:08:57,363 Bruiser, where are you going? 173 00:08:57,434 --> 00:08:59,527 Bruiser! 174 00:08:59,603 --> 00:09:00,900 Ma'am! 175 00:09:03,741 --> 00:09:04,935 Bruiser? 176 00:09:05,009 --> 00:09:07,477 Get back here! 177 00:09:07,544 --> 00:09:09,603 Where are you going? 178 00:09:11,982 --> 00:09:15,543 Bruiser, I didn't know you were so athletic. 179 00:09:21,025 --> 00:09:23,994 What is it? 180 00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,430 Oh, my God! 181 00:09:34,538 --> 00:09:37,439 You, come here! 182 00:09:37,508 --> 00:09:40,602 Come on! Open this door immediately! 183 00:09:40,678 --> 00:09:41,872 What are you doing here? 184 00:09:41,946 --> 00:09:46,645 You have my dog's mom, and I need her right now! 185 00:09:46,717 --> 00:09:48,742 Absolutely not. I'm not authorized to release... 186 00:09:48,819 --> 00:09:50,787 any subjects from their containment units. 187 00:09:50,854 --> 00:09:53,755 I'm not even allowed to have a key. 188 00:09:53,824 --> 00:09:55,849 Swallow the thing one time, and all of a sudden... 189 00:09:55,926 --> 00:09:58,827 you're the weird key swallower who can't be trusted. 190 00:10:00,297 --> 00:10:02,891 I don't think you're understanding me. 191 00:10:02,967 --> 00:10:04,434 I'm willing to pay for her. 192 00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:06,093 These animals aren't for sale, ma'am. 193 00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:07,899 They're the legal property of this facility. 194 00:10:07,972 --> 00:10:11,271 What kind of facility is this? 195 00:10:14,611 --> 00:10:16,408 Mr. Livermore, I'm so sorry! 196 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,881 Elle, this VERSACE is a cosmetic testing facility. 197 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:23,113 - Oh, no! - Bruiser's mom's a test subject. 198 00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,018 I want her out of there immediately. 199 00:10:25,089 --> 00:10:27,114 Animal test subjects can only be surrendered... 200 00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:29,523 on a voluntary basis, and they're not volunteering. 201 00:10:29,593 --> 00:10:32,118 After I get through with them, they'll be begging. 202 00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,629 And I'm not just taking Bruiser's mom. 203 00:10:33,697 --> 00:10:36,666 I'll bust all those dogs out of that doggie dungeon. 204 00:10:36,734 --> 00:10:39,066 "Research Science and Critter Exploitation"? 205 00:10:39,136 --> 00:10:42,299 This VERSACE's owned by the C'est Magnifique Corporation! 206 00:10:42,373 --> 00:10:44,000 That's fantastic! 207 00:10:44,074 --> 00:10:46,474 Our law firm represents C'est Magnifique. 208 00:10:46,543 --> 00:10:48,170 We can tell them to fix this. 209 00:10:48,245 --> 00:10:50,770 I can't wait to take this to the partners. 210 00:10:50,848 --> 00:10:53,942 But how are you going to convince them? 211 00:10:54,018 --> 00:10:55,986 Presenting... 212 00:10:59,123 --> 00:11:03,219 Abandoned at birth, I was on my own at an early age... 213 00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:08,162 fighting for survival on the streets of Beverly Hills... 214 00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:11,633 making his way down the boulevard of broken dreams, 215 00:11:11,702 --> 00:11:15,035 turning tricks at Hollywood and Vine... 216 00:11:15,105 --> 00:11:17,437 yet even when I found a loving mother... 217 00:11:17,508 --> 00:11:20,909 I couldn't shake this nagging emptiness in my heart. 218 00:11:20,978 --> 00:11:23,606 It was like a void. When I looked in the mirror... 219 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,671 who was it that was looking back at me? 220 00:11:25,749 --> 00:11:28,240 This is Bruiser's question. 221 00:11:28,318 --> 00:11:32,345 And in a way, aren't we all Bruisers? 222 00:11:32,423 --> 00:11:35,688 I think yes. Thank you. 223 00:11:38,095 --> 00:11:40,825 Ms. Woods, this is a law firm... 224 00:11:40,898 --> 00:11:43,696 not an animal rights advocacy group. 225 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:46,201 We're lawyers. We have to fight for justice. 226 00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:48,204 And this is definitely unjust. 227 00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:52,038 In this case, the cost of beauty is way too high. 228 00:11:52,109 --> 00:11:54,475 I can't believe I said that, but it's true. 229 00:11:54,545 --> 00:11:56,604 What we fight for... 230 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,978 is our clients and their best interests. 231 00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:02,746 But isn't doing the right thing in everybody's best interest? 232 00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:05,812 I think you're confusing the right thing and the law. 233 00:12:05,889 --> 00:12:09,552 You didn't think they were the same, did you? 234 00:12:09,626 --> 00:12:12,686 Why don't we get back to business... 235 00:12:12,763 --> 00:12:15,254 and discuss your very bright future? 236 00:12:15,332 --> 00:12:17,323 Pardon me, I don't mean to interrupt... 237 00:12:17,401 --> 00:12:20,802 but I just-- What you're saying is... 238 00:12:20,871 --> 00:12:23,499 if C'est Magnifique follows the letter of the law... 239 00:12:23,574 --> 00:12:27,010 even if it ends up hurting living beings... 240 00:12:27,077 --> 00:12:31,275 we're just doing our job? 241 00:12:31,348 --> 00:12:35,079 I'm sorry, Mr. Blaine... 242 00:12:35,152 --> 00:12:38,485 I don't think I can work with people who believe that. 243 00:12:40,858 --> 00:12:44,658 You know what? You're right. 244 00:12:44,728 --> 00:12:46,992 Thank you, Mr. Blaine. 245 00:12:47,064 --> 00:12:49,259 You shouldn't have to work with people who believe that. 246 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,392 Absolutely. I knew you would understand. 247 00:12:51,468 --> 00:12:53,732 You're fired, Elle. 248 00:12:53,804 --> 00:12:55,294 What? 249 00:12:55,372 --> 00:12:59,138 We only have room for serious lawyers here. 250 00:12:59,209 --> 00:13:03,077 Take the rest of the day to clear out your things. 251 00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:07,140 But the secretarial pool already gave me a balloon. 252 00:13:07,217 --> 00:13:09,708 Keep the balloon, if you wish. 253 00:13:20,297 --> 00:13:22,765 Please, Emmett, just go away. 254 00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:25,131 Why don't you come on out, sweetie? 255 00:13:25,202 --> 00:13:27,295 I know Bruiser doesn't blame you. 256 00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:30,238 But I'm all he has to speak for him in this world... 257 00:13:30,307 --> 00:13:31,774 and I have completely failed him. 258 00:13:31,842 --> 00:13:35,835 You know what I thought the first time I saw you? 259 00:13:35,913 --> 00:13:39,314 "God, that woman wears a lot of pink"? 260 00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:43,581 No. I thought... 261 00:13:43,654 --> 00:13:46,248 "That woman is really special." 262 00:13:46,323 --> 00:13:50,657 "She believes she can make a difference and she will." 263 00:13:50,727 --> 00:13:55,562 So... come on out and let's talk about it. 264 00:13:55,632 --> 00:13:57,657 No. 265 00:13:57,734 --> 00:14:01,534 We could go over some wedding details. 266 00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:06,842 How about that? It revolves. 267 00:14:06,910 --> 00:14:08,207 And it illuminates. 268 00:14:08,278 --> 00:14:10,610 It's even got the Red Sox colors. 269 00:14:10,681 --> 00:14:13,081 That's fantastic, honey! 270 00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:15,311 Speaking of red socks... 271 00:14:15,385 --> 00:14:17,250 you're not getting cold feet, are you? 272 00:14:17,321 --> 00:14:18,549 About what? 273 00:14:18,622 --> 00:14:21,250 How's it going to look? A Harvard law professor... 274 00:14:21,325 --> 00:14:23,793 married to a lawyer who got fired from her first job. 275 00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:25,851 Fired for something she believes in. 276 00:14:25,929 --> 00:14:27,487 It's going to look like... 277 00:14:27,564 --> 00:14:32,695 "There goes the luckiest guy in the whole world." 278 00:14:33,804 --> 00:14:35,829 Thanks. 279 00:14:43,614 --> 00:14:46,606 Holy crap! 280 00:14:46,683 --> 00:14:50,744 It's gorgeous! 281 00:14:50,821 --> 00:14:52,846 The material keeps falling apart. 282 00:14:52,923 --> 00:14:54,447 No! 283 00:14:54,524 --> 00:14:56,719 Amy, is something wrong? 284 00:14:58,929 --> 00:15:01,454 You can't do a scallop trim on the outer hoop skirt. 285 00:15:01,531 --> 00:15:04,364 The material's too delicate. It'll just fall apart. 286 00:15:04,434 --> 00:15:06,664 But in two out of three home tests it held. 287 00:15:06,737 --> 00:15:08,728 I am so sorry, Elle. 288 00:15:13,176 --> 00:15:15,701 No biggie. I guess I don't need... 289 00:15:15,779 --> 00:15:18,646 a scallop trim on the outer hoop skirt. 290 00:15:18,715 --> 00:15:20,808 I'll be fine. 291 00:15:20,884 --> 00:15:22,818 What is it that you said back when I couldn't... 292 00:15:22,886 --> 00:15:26,720 fit into my white spandex pantsuit for my wedding? 293 00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,314 If the fabric doesn't work with you... 294 00:15:28,392 --> 00:15:30,121 don't work with it. 295 00:15:30,193 --> 00:15:31,353 It's one of my favorite mantras. 296 00:15:31,428 --> 00:15:34,829 That is so true, and I know the most perfect organza! 297 00:15:34,898 --> 00:15:37,833 Or something really classy like... 298 00:15:37,901 --> 00:15:40,426 like white leather! 299 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:43,667 I'll call the guy that did my car seats. 300 00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:47,141 Wait... that's it. 301 00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:51,613 Don't fight the fabric. Change it. 302 00:15:51,682 --> 00:15:54,515 OK, but white leather? 303 00:15:56,086 --> 00:15:59,419 If the law is what's keeping Bruiser's mother locked up... 304 00:15:59,489 --> 00:16:01,787 I shouldn't be fighting it, I should be changing it. 305 00:16:01,858 --> 00:16:04,759 Everybody, I'm going to make... 306 00:16:04,828 --> 00:16:07,160 animal testing for cosmetics illegal! 307 00:16:07,230 --> 00:16:10,996 I know that making a dog wear mascara and blush is wrong... 308 00:16:11,068 --> 00:16:12,933 This isn't just about Bruiser's mom anymore... 309 00:16:13,003 --> 00:16:14,561 this is about the fact that every day... 310 00:16:14,638 --> 00:16:16,936 that I put on my Gold Goddess luminescent blush... 311 00:16:17,007 --> 00:16:20,204 some poor little innocent animal might be suffering for it. 312 00:16:20,277 --> 00:16:22,404 You don't realize how horrible something is... 313 00:16:22,479 --> 00:16:24,106 until it happens to you personally. 314 00:16:24,181 --> 00:16:25,978 Like breastfeeding. 315 00:16:26,049 --> 00:16:28,779 And if I want to give a voice to Bruiser... 316 00:16:28,852 --> 00:16:31,184 I have to go to the place that gave a voice to the people! 317 00:16:31,254 --> 00:16:36,157 Oh, my God! The headquarters of "Cosmopolitan" magazine! 318 00:16:37,761 --> 00:16:40,457 Better! Ladies... 319 00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:42,589 I'm going to Washington! 320 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,126 D.C., here I come! 321 00:16:45,202 --> 00:16:47,670 If anybody can handle this, it's you, honey. 322 00:16:47,738 --> 00:16:51,265 I got a call from the Delta Nu 24-hour housing hotline. 323 00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:52,706 Your apartment's all set. 324 00:16:52,776 --> 00:16:55,108 - Great! - Elle! 325 00:16:56,613 --> 00:17:01,710 Oh, my God! You look like the Fourth of July! 326 00:17:01,785 --> 00:17:05,221 Makes me want a hot dog real bad. 327 00:17:05,288 --> 00:17:08,724 Yeah, OK. You got to get going, honey. 328 00:17:08,792 --> 00:17:09,952 OK. 329 00:17:11,495 --> 00:17:13,429 - Elle, look at this. - What's that? 330 00:17:13,497 --> 00:17:15,465 According to "Animal Fair" magazine... 331 00:17:15,532 --> 00:17:18,399 your new boss is the best groomed woman in Washington. 332 00:17:18,468 --> 00:17:20,868 Her beagle's name is Dolly Madison... 333 00:17:20,937 --> 00:17:24,373 which is my grandma's stripper name. 334 00:17:24,441 --> 00:17:26,204 Isn't that a good sign? 335 00:17:26,276 --> 00:17:27,971 Oh, my gosh. A job with a brilliant congresswoman... 336 00:17:28,044 --> 00:17:29,375 who's also a fellow Harvard alum. 337 00:17:29,446 --> 00:17:32,609 You'll do great, Elle. It's destiny. 338 00:17:32,682 --> 00:17:34,809 But isn't planning the wedding of the century... 339 00:17:34,885 --> 00:17:37,979 and changing the law kind of hard? 340 00:17:38,054 --> 00:17:40,648 Paulette, I taught Bruiser how to shop online. 341 00:17:40,724 --> 00:17:43,693 I think I can handle Congress. 342 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,160 See ya. 343 00:18:24,234 --> 00:18:26,600 Home sweet home. You ready? 344 00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,069 OK. 345 00:18:28,138 --> 00:18:29,571 Welcome to the Wellington, ma'am. 346 00:18:29,639 --> 00:18:31,698 It's a thrill to be here! 347 00:18:50,794 --> 00:18:52,785 Time to legislate! 348 00:18:54,998 --> 00:18:56,465 No. 349 00:19:00,337 --> 00:19:02,328 Too Nancy. 350 00:19:02,405 --> 00:19:04,669 Too Hillary. 351 00:19:04,741 --> 00:19:07,539 Too Monica. 352 00:19:07,611 --> 00:19:10,375 Too perfect for words! 353 00:19:16,152 --> 00:19:18,017 Hi! 354 00:19:18,088 --> 00:19:20,852 Good morning, fellow public servants. 355 00:19:20,924 --> 00:19:22,687 It's my first day. 356 00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:28,390 Nice briefcase. 357 00:19:28,465 --> 00:19:30,990 Huh? Thank you. 358 00:19:33,503 --> 00:19:35,164 Hi! 359 00:19:39,809 --> 00:19:44,007 Last item on our agenda--Elle Woods. 360 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,105 Personal Rudd hire, taking up a bill... 361 00:19:46,182 --> 00:19:48,912 on animal testing in the cosmetic industry. 362 00:19:48,985 --> 00:19:50,714 I'm sorry, Rudd's backing that? 363 00:19:50,787 --> 00:19:52,277 Matter of conscience, whatever. 364 00:19:52,355 --> 00:19:55,085 Who knows? Maybe it'll boost our female demographic. 365 00:19:55,158 --> 00:19:57,058 The point is we're animal lovers now. 366 00:19:57,127 --> 00:20:00,961 If this is so important to Rudd, shouldn't I be handling it? 367 00:20:01,031 --> 00:20:03,864 No, Timothy, not when we have a woman... 368 00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:05,868 who according to Rudd, is one of the shrewdest... 369 00:20:05,936 --> 00:20:08,131 legal and political minds of our time. 370 00:20:10,273 --> 00:20:13,606 Hello, patriots! 371 00:20:13,677 --> 00:20:15,144 I don't think I've been this excited... 372 00:20:15,211 --> 00:20:17,406 since Gucci became a publicly traded company. 373 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:21,041 Oh, my God, it's Capitol Barbie. 374 00:20:21,117 --> 00:20:23,244 She's so shiny. 375 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,220 So where should I start? 376 00:20:25,288 --> 00:20:26,755 Excuse me, sweetie? 377 00:20:26,823 --> 00:20:30,418 Intern orientation is down the hall in Room 216. 378 00:20:30,493 --> 00:20:34,224 That's before 217 and after 215. 379 00:20:34,297 --> 00:20:36,595 Oh, my God! That is so sweet of you! 380 00:20:36,666 --> 00:20:38,463 You think I'm an intern? 381 00:20:38,535 --> 00:20:41,470 That anti-wrinkle all-salmon diet really works. 382 00:20:41,538 --> 00:20:42,732 Who are you? 383 00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:47,368 - I'm sorry-- - Elle Woods, welcome! 384 00:20:47,444 --> 00:20:50,004 I haven't seen you since the alumni meeting! 385 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,311 - I know! How are you? - Good! 386 00:20:53,383 --> 00:20:55,374 This is Elle Woods, everyone. 387 00:20:55,452 --> 00:20:58,717 Basically me when I first came to D. C... 388 00:20:58,788 --> 00:21:01,882 so make her feel at home. 389 00:21:01,958 --> 00:21:03,516 You ready to hit the ground running? 390 00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:05,618 Are these not my comfortable heels? 391 00:21:05,695 --> 00:21:09,756 - Cute shoes. - Thank you. They are comfy. 392 00:21:11,101 --> 00:21:13,592 Here's Bruiser. Welcome. 393 00:21:15,071 --> 00:21:18,268 Oh, you little sugar! 394 00:21:18,341 --> 00:21:20,070 Back her up, people. 395 00:21:20,143 --> 00:21:23,010 This is the most collaborative bunch on the Hill... 396 00:21:23,079 --> 00:21:24,706 So gather them together... 397 00:21:24,781 --> 00:21:26,749 talk strategy as soon as you get settled in. 398 00:21:26,816 --> 00:21:28,374 - And, Elle? - Yes? 399 00:21:28,451 --> 00:21:31,477 - Welcome to Washington. - Thank you! 400 00:21:31,554 --> 00:21:34,489 Okey-dokey. 401 00:21:34,557 --> 00:21:37,458 I missed the part about where my office is. 402 00:21:37,527 --> 00:21:40,360 The desk. Right here. 403 00:21:43,667 --> 00:21:47,068 All righty. Then I'm going to need a glue gun... 404 00:21:47,137 --> 00:21:51,233 some pinking shears, and five yards of grosgrain ribbon. 405 00:21:51,307 --> 00:21:53,298 Yeah, that'll do it. 406 00:21:56,413 --> 00:21:58,745 Well, look at you. 407 00:21:58,815 --> 00:22:00,806 You can run your wedding coordinator business... 408 00:22:00,884 --> 00:22:02,715 during all that legislative downtime. 409 00:22:02,786 --> 00:22:04,276 Don't be silly, Grace. 410 00:22:04,354 --> 00:22:06,584 This is to plan my own wedding to Emmett. 411 00:22:06,656 --> 00:22:09,318 See, this is us. He had this made for me. 412 00:22:09,392 --> 00:22:12,555 That's him, and that's me smiling. 413 00:22:12,629 --> 00:22:13,994 Maybe he'll make one of you and me. 414 00:22:14,064 --> 00:22:15,827 You'll be talking and I'll be throwing up. 415 00:22:15,899 --> 00:22:18,367 Speaking of nuptials, wait till I tell... 416 00:22:18,435 --> 00:22:20,096 the congresswoman that I was invited... 417 00:22:20,170 --> 00:22:22,104 to John McCain's nephew's wedding. 418 00:22:22,172 --> 00:22:24,037 He's really quite a sweet kid. 419 00:22:24,107 --> 00:22:25,699 Tell me something, Timothy... 420 00:22:25,775 --> 00:22:28,335 is it difficult for you to breathe with... 421 00:22:28,411 --> 00:22:30,572 your mouth flat against your employer's butt? 422 00:22:30,647 --> 00:22:33,275 I don't know, Grace. Is it difficult to see... 423 00:22:33,349 --> 00:22:35,408 with your head in the Minority Whip's lap? 424 00:22:35,485 --> 00:22:37,715 It was the distinguished gentlemen from Iowa. 425 00:22:37,787 --> 00:22:40,449 His wife had recently left him and we just talked. 426 00:22:40,523 --> 00:22:43,492 Right. Because if you did "visit" his district... 427 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,994 you should've gotten some legislation out of it. 428 00:22:46,062 --> 00:22:47,188 How would you even know... 429 00:22:47,263 --> 00:22:49,731 when you're busy chasing interns on a skateboard? 430 00:22:49,799 --> 00:22:52,666 Excuse me? Who wants to talk animal testing? 431 00:22:52,736 --> 00:22:55,102 Write a bill, Britney. I don't have a car! 432 00:23:01,077 --> 00:23:02,476 Snap Cup time 433 00:23:02,545 --> 00:23:04,843 Gather ye round 434 00:23:04,914 --> 00:23:07,712 Friends and foes together 435 00:23:07,784 --> 00:23:10,218 United and bound 436 00:23:10,286 --> 00:23:12,618 Pass it to your neighbor 437 00:23:12,689 --> 00:23:14,816 Instead of blowing up 438 00:23:14,891 --> 00:23:17,121 And we'll find harmony and love 439 00:23:17,193 --> 00:23:19,457 In the Snap Cup! 440 00:23:20,964 --> 00:23:23,398 Don't tell me you don't know what a Snap Cup is? 441 00:23:25,301 --> 00:23:27,235 OK, I'll explain it. 442 00:23:27,303 --> 00:23:30,534 You are going to write down an anonymous praise note... 443 00:23:30,607 --> 00:23:32,541 on a little warm fuzzy. 444 00:23:32,609 --> 00:23:33,769 Warm fuzzy? 445 00:23:33,843 --> 00:23:35,276 Yes. Compliments about your co-workers. 446 00:23:35,345 --> 00:23:36,607 Just something nice. 447 00:23:36,679 --> 00:23:40,046 Then you deposit them in the sacred vessel. 448 00:23:40,116 --> 00:23:43,574 The Snap Cup is essential to any bipartisan environment. 449 00:23:43,653 --> 00:23:45,518 Consider 1998 Spring Carnival. 450 00:23:45,588 --> 00:23:48,614 The Delta Nus partnered with the Kappa Kappa Gammas... 451 00:23:48,691 --> 00:23:51,558 on Project Kissing Booth. Big problems. 452 00:23:51,628 --> 00:23:52,822 Go ahead, write. 453 00:23:52,896 --> 00:23:55,126 So, a whole heated debate transpired... 454 00:23:55,198 --> 00:23:57,257 over the whole tongue-no tongue policy. 455 00:23:57,333 --> 00:23:59,164 I think you know what side the Kappas were on. 456 00:23:59,235 --> 00:24:02,170 Anyway, it really helped us move past the conflict... 457 00:24:02,238 --> 00:24:03,728 and I think it can help us today. 458 00:24:03,807 --> 00:24:07,174 Let's just try this, OK? 459 00:24:07,243 --> 00:24:09,575 Thank you, Reena. Thank you. 460 00:24:09,646 --> 00:24:10,840 Thanks for that. 461 00:24:10,914 --> 00:24:13,007 Thank you, Timothy. 462 00:24:14,384 --> 00:24:20,653 So now, the Snap Cup mistress--me--recites. 463 00:24:21,691 --> 00:24:23,488 Good, I got mine. 464 00:24:24,828 --> 00:24:28,127 "Grace always has the confidence to speak her mind. 465 00:24:28,198 --> 00:24:31,258 "Plus, she looks terrific in charcoal." 466 00:24:31,334 --> 00:24:33,734 And, voil�, snaps for Grace! 467 00:24:33,803 --> 00:24:36,772 You see? Our first Snap Cup! 468 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,742 This is so exciting! I wonder what'll happen next? 469 00:24:40,810 --> 00:24:43,779 All right, this is... 470 00:24:43,847 --> 00:24:48,307 "What do Elle Woods and the Snap Cup have in common?" 471 00:24:48,384 --> 00:24:50,614 A riddle. That's so cool. 472 00:24:50,687 --> 00:24:52,211 I love riddles. 473 00:24:52,288 --> 00:24:55,121 "They're both..." 474 00:24:58,361 --> 00:25:00,420 "stupid." 475 00:25:00,496 --> 00:25:02,225 Enough already. 476 00:25:02,298 --> 00:25:05,096 Maybe we can do something actually worthwhile... 477 00:25:05,168 --> 00:25:06,601 like attend the hearing of the committee... 478 00:25:06,669 --> 00:25:08,933 you need to crack. I'll take you myself. 479 00:25:09,005 --> 00:25:12,964 Thank you, Grace. That's very generous of you. 480 00:25:13,042 --> 00:25:16,412 See, I think the Snap Cup really works. 481 00:25:19,549 --> 00:25:20,709 Wow. 482 00:25:20,783 --> 00:25:23,047 Good morning. 483 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,213 This is just like on C-SPAN except I'm not bored. 484 00:25:26,289 --> 00:25:27,620 You're in the wrong room, sweetheart. 485 00:25:27,690 --> 00:25:29,590 Intern orientation is in room... 486 00:25:29,659 --> 00:25:32,856 216? Yes, I've heard. Thank you. 487 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,563 Hi, I'm Elle Woods. I'm not an intern. 488 00:25:40,637 --> 00:25:42,127 Rob Cole. Me, neither. 489 00:25:42,205 --> 00:25:44,730 I'm the new legislative aide to Congresswoman Rudd. 490 00:25:44,807 --> 00:25:46,832 I'm an old congressman from Delaware. 491 00:25:46,910 --> 00:25:50,402 I've been to Delaware! No sales tax. Good one, sir. 492 00:25:51,447 --> 00:25:53,847 Committee is called to order. 493 00:25:55,785 --> 00:25:59,744 Welcome to the special meeting of the... 494 00:25:59,822 --> 00:26:01,289 Excuse me. Sorry. 495 00:26:01,357 --> 00:26:04,019 Committee of Energy and Commerce. 496 00:26:04,093 --> 00:26:07,927 Before we turn to our official agenda... 497 00:26:07,997 --> 00:26:10,090 are there any introductory remarks? 498 00:26:10,166 --> 00:26:11,827 Madam chairwoman... 499 00:26:11,901 --> 00:26:13,732 Grace Rossiter, chief of staff... 500 00:26:13,803 --> 00:26:15,600 Representative Rudd, Massachusetts. 501 00:26:15,672 --> 00:26:17,435 As our newest legislative assistant... 502 00:26:17,507 --> 00:26:21,170 will be spearheading a campaign under your committee... 503 00:26:21,244 --> 00:26:22,973 I'm sure she'd love the floor. 504 00:26:23,046 --> 00:26:27,312 Thus I yield to my colleague, the lady in hot pink. 505 00:26:27,383 --> 00:26:29,977 You have the floor, lady in hot pink. 506 00:26:30,053 --> 00:26:31,520 Me? 507 00:26:31,587 --> 00:26:35,455 Would you care to more specifically identify yourself? 508 00:26:35,525 --> 00:26:37,117 Oh, sure! 509 00:26:37,193 --> 00:26:40,390 My name is Elle Woods, Boston by way of Bel Air. 510 00:26:40,463 --> 00:26:42,226 And as my surname would suggest... 511 00:26:42,298 --> 00:26:44,926 I am a passionate advocate for everything in nature... 512 00:26:45,001 --> 00:26:46,161 and a contented citizen... 513 00:26:46,235 --> 00:26:48,795 until my shorthaired Chihuahua, Bruiser... 514 00:26:48,871 --> 00:26:52,068 brought me face-to-face with the animal testing issue. 515 00:26:52,141 --> 00:26:53,540 You're out of order, Miss Woods. 516 00:26:53,609 --> 00:26:55,839 This is a fuel efficiency hearing. 517 00:26:55,912 --> 00:26:58,574 I don't see anything in the agenda about animal testing. 518 00:26:58,648 --> 00:26:59,774 Will you yield the floor? 519 00:26:59,849 --> 00:27:01,373 Absolutely. I'm almost done. 520 00:27:01,451 --> 00:27:03,976 So, in conclusion, I just want to say... 521 00:27:04,053 --> 00:27:05,384 that I am so excited about the day... 522 00:27:05,455 --> 00:27:07,582 that I get to march up those grand Capitol steps... 523 00:27:07,657 --> 00:27:11,320 and drop that very bill in the... 524 00:27:11,394 --> 00:27:13,021 What's it called? 525 00:27:13,096 --> 00:27:16,065 It's like a shiny, mahogany box thing? 526 00:27:16,132 --> 00:27:17,258 The hopper. 527 00:27:17,333 --> 00:27:20,200 Exactly! The hopper! How could I forget? 528 00:27:20,269 --> 00:27:22,635 It's like a bunny. Perfect for animal testing. 529 00:27:22,705 --> 00:27:24,605 And I want to let everybody know... 530 00:27:24,674 --> 00:27:27,006 that I'm having a post-hopper tapas party. 531 00:27:27,076 --> 00:27:30,136 I'm making sangria. It's really yummy. 532 00:27:30,213 --> 00:27:33,341 My, my, how very interesting that all sounds. 533 00:27:33,416 --> 00:27:35,577 It'll be fun. 534 00:27:35,651 --> 00:27:37,380 However, the next time you consider... 535 00:27:37,453 --> 00:27:42,220 attending a hearing over which I preside... don't! 536 00:27:45,728 --> 00:27:47,389 Committee is called to order. 537 00:27:47,463 --> 00:27:48,725 OK. 538 00:27:48,798 --> 00:27:50,891 Welcome to the special meeting of the Committee... 539 00:27:50,967 --> 00:27:53,731 of Energy and Commerce. For the record... 540 00:27:53,803 --> 00:27:55,634 would the secretary please make note that... 541 00:27:57,206 --> 00:27:59,231 Welcome to the Wellington, ma'am. 542 00:28:05,548 --> 00:28:07,812 Seventeen-B? 543 00:28:09,986 --> 00:28:12,454 You have a package. 544 00:28:14,190 --> 00:28:17,717 Inside that box are the most perfect wedding shoes ever. 545 00:28:17,794 --> 00:28:19,421 Both visually stunning and cleated. 546 00:28:19,495 --> 00:28:20,757 And I won't be able to wear them... 547 00:28:20,830 --> 00:28:22,593 since I obviously won't make the date... 548 00:28:22,665 --> 00:28:24,223 for Emmett's fantasy baseball wedding... 549 00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:25,699 given that I don't have a chance of getting... 550 00:28:25,768 --> 00:28:28,100 those important congresspeople to co-sponsor my bill... 551 00:28:28,171 --> 00:28:31,402 which I need to get a hearing to stop animal testing... 552 00:28:31,474 --> 00:28:32,998 in order to reunite Bruiser with his mother... 553 00:28:33,076 --> 00:28:34,703 in order to have them at my wedding... 554 00:28:34,777 --> 00:28:35,937 in which I was going to wear... 555 00:28:36,012 --> 00:28:38,606 the most perfect wedding shoes ever... 556 00:28:38,681 --> 00:28:41,149 right inside that box. 557 00:28:41,217 --> 00:28:45,244 They never covered this in the handbook. 558 00:28:50,259 --> 00:28:53,524 They're something, all right. 559 00:28:55,331 --> 00:28:56,662 You think? 560 00:28:57,900 --> 00:28:59,527 Oh, I'm sorry. 561 00:29:02,738 --> 00:29:05,036 Elle Woods, legislative aide... 562 00:29:05,108 --> 00:29:07,633 to Congresswoman Rudd, Massachusetts. 563 00:29:07,710 --> 00:29:10,702 Sid Post. Doorman. 564 00:29:10,780 --> 00:29:13,681 That door. 565 00:29:13,749 --> 00:29:16,877 All day I've felt like white, open-toed shoes after Labor Day. 566 00:29:16,953 --> 00:29:19,114 I hate that feeling. 567 00:29:19,188 --> 00:29:22,089 Whatever that means. 568 00:29:22,158 --> 00:29:26,754 I better get going. If I'm going to pass a law... 569 00:29:26,829 --> 00:29:28,990 I have to work up some plan of attack... 570 00:29:29,065 --> 00:29:33,525 with the Committee of En and Ron or whatever. 571 00:29:33,603 --> 00:29:35,662 Bye, Sid. 572 00:29:35,738 --> 00:29:39,367 - Comm. - What'd you say? 573 00:29:39,442 --> 00:29:43,208 It's called the Committee of Energy and Commerce. 574 00:29:43,279 --> 00:29:47,306 Oh, yeah. Right. Thanks. 575 00:29:56,692 --> 00:29:58,523 This is really important to me, Grace. 576 00:29:58,594 --> 00:30:00,391 They wouldn't cover my nana's anti-itch cream... 577 00:30:00,463 --> 00:30:03,159 which means she only has one free hand for bingo. 578 00:30:03,232 --> 00:30:06,065 - Lf I could get a hearing-- - Where's your bill, Reena? 579 00:30:06,135 --> 00:30:08,365 The staff lawyers couldn't draft it for six weeks... 580 00:30:08,437 --> 00:30:10,302 but if you could talk to the congressman's aide... 581 00:30:10,373 --> 00:30:12,136 I could get on the agenda. 582 00:30:12,208 --> 00:30:14,438 We pushed prescription drugs last term. 583 00:30:14,510 --> 00:30:17,536 I have a lot of issues that come first. 584 00:30:17,613 --> 00:30:21,777 Reena, if Grace finds herself otherwise prioritized... 585 00:30:21,851 --> 00:30:23,910 maybe you could talk to this aide yourself. 586 00:30:23,986 --> 00:30:26,580 Or better yet, directly to the congressman. 587 00:30:26,656 --> 00:30:30,717 Don't you have something to alphabetize? 588 00:30:30,793 --> 00:30:34,160 In fact, now that I think about it... 589 00:30:34,230 --> 00:30:36,562 with Reena's clear passion for the project... 590 00:30:36,632 --> 00:30:38,293 who better to write this bill than Reena? 591 00:30:38,367 --> 00:30:39,732 Me? 592 00:30:39,802 --> 00:30:41,167 It's like I always say-- 593 00:30:41,237 --> 00:30:43,933 Why let someone else do for you what you can do for yourself? 594 00:30:44,006 --> 00:30:45,803 Except in the case of eyebrow maintenance. 595 00:30:45,875 --> 00:30:47,934 We always say follow protocol. 596 00:30:48,010 --> 00:30:49,409 It's worked for the past 200 years... 597 00:30:49,478 --> 00:30:51,446 OK, Miss Snap Cup? 598 00:30:51,514 --> 00:30:55,780 Stick it out with the lawyers. They'll get to you eventually. 599 00:30:55,851 --> 00:30:58,786 This is the new congressmember roster. 600 00:31:04,694 --> 00:31:05,956 Just a dollar. 601 00:31:06,028 --> 00:31:07,825 Don't you believe in helping a guy out? 602 00:31:07,897 --> 00:31:09,159 What I do believe in, sir... 603 00:31:09,232 --> 00:31:11,325 is an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. 604 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:12,924 Not rewards for idleness. 605 00:31:13,002 --> 00:31:14,594 - 50 cents? - Leave me! 606 00:31:14,670 --> 00:31:16,695 - Just a quarter. - Go bother someone else! 607 00:31:21,143 --> 00:31:23,941 People here have no common courtesy. 608 00:31:24,013 --> 00:31:26,504 Want to get a hearing for your bill? 609 00:31:26,582 --> 00:31:29,608 Get Congresswoman Hauser. She needs a political makeover. 610 00:31:29,685 --> 00:31:32,119 Sidney? 611 00:31:32,188 --> 00:31:34,520 Who needs a what? 612 00:31:34,590 --> 00:31:38,686 Hauser. Tough redhead on En and Comm. 613 00:31:38,761 --> 00:31:42,026 If she can put her name on something warm and fuzzy... 614 00:31:42,098 --> 00:31:47,331 something like puppies, that could do the trick. 615 00:31:47,403 --> 00:31:50,395 Really? What if I showed Hauser the photos... 616 00:31:50,473 --> 00:31:52,031 of what they're doing to these animals? 617 00:31:52,108 --> 00:31:57,171 That'd work... with someone with a heart. 618 00:31:57,246 --> 00:32:00,613 Hauser responds to facts, figures, and demographics. 619 00:32:00,683 --> 00:32:02,708 You gotta do your homework. 620 00:32:02,785 --> 00:32:05,049 How did you learn all this? 621 00:32:05,121 --> 00:32:06,918 I have been stationed on the forefront... 622 00:32:06,989 --> 00:32:09,583 of all major political and social scandals... 623 00:32:09,659 --> 00:32:11,718 for the past 30 years. 624 00:32:11,794 --> 00:32:13,853 You worked in the White House? 625 00:32:13,929 --> 00:32:16,796 No, at the Wellington. 626 00:32:16,866 --> 00:32:19,232 After Hauser, you'll need Stanford Marks... 627 00:32:19,302 --> 00:32:21,634 Alabama Republican. A real hard-ass. 628 00:32:21,704 --> 00:32:23,069 Sidney, you are, without a doubt... 629 00:32:23,139 --> 00:32:26,108 the most useful person I've met in Washington. 630 00:33:04,513 --> 00:33:06,208 Hauser's margin in the last election? 631 00:33:06,282 --> 00:33:07,579 Four points. 52-48. 632 00:33:07,650 --> 00:33:08,776 Hauser's chief? 633 00:33:08,851 --> 00:33:11,581 Hall, Ted. 34, moderate, tough. 634 00:33:11,654 --> 00:33:14,521 - Marks' aide? - Murphy. Conservative, tougher. 635 00:33:14,590 --> 00:33:17,650 - I think you're ready. - Thank you, Sid. 636 00:33:19,028 --> 00:33:21,861 For shizzle... my ezzle. 637 00:33:27,036 --> 00:33:29,436 I borrowed this. 638 00:33:36,412 --> 00:33:38,312 Excuse me! 639 00:33:38,381 --> 00:33:39,973 Given the historical tendencies... 640 00:33:40,049 --> 00:33:41,414 of the congresswoman's voting pool... 641 00:33:41,484 --> 00:33:44,351 animal testing is the very issue your platform needs. 642 00:33:44,420 --> 00:33:46,513 Which brings me to my demographic breakdown target. 643 00:33:46,589 --> 00:33:49,649 Which brings us to the end of our time, but good stuff. 644 00:33:49,725 --> 00:33:50,953 I'll bat it around with my colleagues. 645 00:33:51,026 --> 00:33:52,721 I'm not done with my presentation. 646 00:33:52,795 --> 00:33:54,262 - Is Friday good? - Absolutely. 647 00:33:54,330 --> 00:33:58,266 The second one in November, and the line starts down there. 648 00:33:58,334 --> 00:34:01,201 But wait! I won't be here in November. 649 00:34:01,270 --> 00:34:02,703 I'm getting married. 650 00:34:03,939 --> 00:34:05,668 If you insist Congressman Marks is unavailable... 651 00:34:05,741 --> 00:34:06,867 perhaps you could look at... 652 00:34:06,942 --> 00:34:09,308 my alternative testing economics incentive chart. 653 00:34:11,580 --> 00:34:13,138 But it's pop-up. 654 00:34:14,717 --> 00:34:18,118 I will read this homeowners legislation this weekend. 655 00:34:18,187 --> 00:34:20,485 Five more minutes and I'm due in committee. Reena. 656 00:34:20,556 --> 00:34:21,716 Well-- 657 00:34:21,791 --> 00:34:24,021 Reena's prescription drugs for the elderly amendment-- 658 00:34:24,093 --> 00:34:25,583 rejected during mark-up session. 659 00:34:25,661 --> 00:34:26,958 Sorry, Nana. 660 00:34:27,029 --> 00:34:30,430 - Where are we with the animals? - Still not on the calendar. 661 00:34:30,499 --> 00:34:32,967 So we're nowhere. Grace, help Elle with this. 662 00:34:33,035 --> 00:34:36,266 Let's get going. I'll see you all later. 663 00:34:36,338 --> 00:34:38,738 Grace... 664 00:34:38,808 --> 00:34:41,276 I think I can get a meeting with Hauser's aide. 665 00:34:41,343 --> 00:34:43,538 Please. You could have 100 meetings... 666 00:34:43,612 --> 00:34:45,045 and it still wouldn't matter. 667 00:34:45,114 --> 00:34:46,843 This is Washington politics... 668 00:34:46,916 --> 00:34:49,282 not warm fuzzies and kissing booths. 669 00:34:49,351 --> 00:34:51,683 It takes savvy and street smarts. 670 00:34:51,754 --> 00:34:54,985 I've seen thousands of polite, idealistic girls... 671 00:34:55,057 --> 00:34:57,924 just like you traipse up and down this Hill... 672 00:34:57,993 --> 00:35:01,861 and go home empty-handed with blisters on their feet. 673 00:35:01,931 --> 00:35:05,332 Thank you, Grace. 674 00:35:05,401 --> 00:35:08,734 You actually reminded me of something really important. 675 00:35:08,804 --> 00:35:11,272 I came here to give my dog a voice... 676 00:35:11,340 --> 00:35:13,672 and I'd forgotten about my own. 677 00:35:13,742 --> 00:35:16,836 So you can do it the Washington way. 678 00:35:16,912 --> 00:35:21,474 But I'm going to do it the Elle Woods way. 679 00:35:21,550 --> 00:35:21,650 Time to get serious. 680 00:35:21,650 --> 00:35:23,083 Time to get serious. 681 00:35:23,152 --> 00:35:25,780 Subject--Congresswoman Libby Hauser. 682 00:35:25,855 --> 00:35:27,254 Came of age in Post-War boom... 683 00:35:27,323 --> 00:35:30,724 typified by 1951 Charles Jourdan stiletto heel. 684 00:35:30,793 --> 00:35:33,523 Moving up to the Texan's head, which is red... 685 00:35:33,596 --> 00:35:36,429 suspect chemical assistance. Must pursue. 686 00:35:36,499 --> 00:35:38,057 Hit me, Post. 687 00:35:38,133 --> 00:35:40,693 118 salons within a 10-mile radius... 688 00:35:40,769 --> 00:35:42,930 broken down by color expertise... 689 00:35:43,005 --> 00:35:48,375 and philosophical approach to hair maintenance and style. 690 00:35:48,444 --> 00:35:51,413 I didn't know you could have a philosophy of hair. 691 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:52,777 Oh, yeah. 692 00:35:52,848 --> 00:35:55,146 Maybe that's where I went wrong. 693 00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:57,913 Go for Woods. 694 00:35:57,987 --> 00:35:59,750 It's just as you suspected. 695 00:35:59,822 --> 00:36:01,949 She's at a moderate conservative salon... 696 00:36:02,024 --> 00:36:04,458 founded on the principles of Vidal. 697 00:36:04,527 --> 00:36:07,519 In fact, it was one of our case studies... 698 00:36:07,596 --> 00:36:09,757 last year at Hair University. 699 00:36:09,832 --> 00:36:12,062 That was right before they flunked me. 700 00:36:12,134 --> 00:36:14,432 Paulette, they weren't ready for your vision. 701 00:36:14,503 --> 00:36:17,131 I know you'll make your mark hair-wise. 702 00:36:18,307 --> 00:36:19,774 Sorry. 703 00:36:19,842 --> 00:36:22,208 - You got a pen? - Yes. 704 00:36:22,278 --> 00:36:24,473 It's at Constitution and 12th. 705 00:36:24,547 --> 00:36:27,107 The Salon Bontempo. 706 00:36:30,486 --> 00:36:32,647 Don't you just love a salon day? 707 00:36:35,558 --> 00:36:39,119 Yes, so peaceful and quiet. 708 00:36:39,194 --> 00:36:41,492 Makes it so much easier to talk that way. 709 00:36:41,564 --> 00:36:43,122 They have rules about that here. 710 00:36:43,198 --> 00:36:45,826 I know. That's why I called to make sure... 711 00:36:45,901 --> 00:36:47,766 they used PETA-approved hair care products. 712 00:36:47,836 --> 00:36:49,997 When you think about what they do to those animals-- 713 00:36:50,072 --> 00:36:52,131 Which is why I don't think about it. 714 00:36:52,207 --> 00:36:53,834 Does the trick. 715 00:36:57,780 --> 00:36:59,145 Excellent bobby pin handling. 716 00:36:59,214 --> 00:37:02,206 Thank you, Frederic. Looks great. 717 00:37:04,653 --> 00:37:06,450 Isn't it so comforting to see... 718 00:37:06,522 --> 00:37:08,513 they use eco-friendly foil technology here? 719 00:37:08,591 --> 00:37:11,185 Every planet needs a friend, that's what I always say. 720 00:37:11,260 --> 00:37:14,093 If I wanted to talk about the emotional life of a rock... 721 00:37:14,163 --> 00:37:16,996 you'd know it by now. 722 00:37:17,066 --> 00:37:19,500 Until this day, I'd held the highest opinion... 723 00:37:19,568 --> 00:37:22,264 of redheads as a fellow hair minority group. 724 00:37:22,338 --> 00:37:24,499 I heard quite enough of your politics... 725 00:37:24,573 --> 00:37:26,700 at the committee meeting, thank you very much. 726 00:37:44,226 --> 00:37:47,684 When was the last time you wore the yellow tea rose? 727 00:37:55,170 --> 00:37:57,434 I'm sorry? What did you just-- 728 00:37:57,506 --> 00:37:59,940 When was the last time you wore your yellow tea rose? 729 00:38:00,009 --> 00:38:02,239 On the night of my initiation. 730 00:38:02,311 --> 00:38:04,506 Wasn't the passing of the secret scented eternal flame... 731 00:38:04,580 --> 00:38:07,174 of the goddess Delta Nu not the most moving experience? 732 00:38:07,249 --> 00:38:09,274 Especially the part where we sipped... 733 00:38:09,351 --> 00:38:12,013 from the secret pink chalice of sisterhood! 734 00:38:12,087 --> 00:38:13,816 Yes! 735 00:38:18,193 --> 00:38:20,354 Delta who? 736 00:38:20,429 --> 00:38:22,590 Delta Nu! 737 00:38:22,665 --> 00:38:25,896 Delta-Delta boo-gah-loo 738 00:38:25,968 --> 00:38:28,596 Nu Nu Delta 739 00:38:28,671 --> 00:38:30,002 Theta, Beta 740 00:38:30,072 --> 00:38:31,471 Lambda, Mu 741 00:38:31,540 --> 00:38:35,135 Ooh-aah, Delta Nu! 742 00:38:36,679 --> 00:38:39,842 Libby Hauser, Texas. Planning a wedding? 743 00:38:39,915 --> 00:38:42,816 That "I do" updo looks like heaven on you. 744 00:38:42,885 --> 00:38:44,045 Thank you. 745 00:38:44,119 --> 00:38:46,644 Who is he? Zeta Lambda Nu, I hope. 746 00:38:46,722 --> 00:38:48,815 Actually, I'm marrying outside the Greek system... 747 00:38:48,891 --> 00:38:50,620 but he's totally letter-worthy. 748 00:38:50,693 --> 00:38:55,130 But how is D.C. Elle-worthy? 749 00:38:55,197 --> 00:38:57,722 I'm here to speak for those who can't speak for themselves. 750 00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,768 How interesting. 751 00:38:59,835 --> 00:39:02,133 It's more than interesting. It's practical. 752 00:39:02,204 --> 00:39:04,570 Strictly a numbers game as far as you're concerned. 753 00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:10,237 125,468--Number of people in your district with dog licenses. 754 00:39:10,312 --> 00:39:14,248 12,762--The number of unemployed scientists... 755 00:39:14,316 --> 00:39:17,251 with the skills to develop alternatives to animal testing. 756 00:39:17,319 --> 00:39:21,983 And finally, 6285--the ID number of my dog's captive mother. 757 00:39:22,057 --> 00:39:25,185 I'm not sure I followed all that... 758 00:39:25,260 --> 00:39:26,750 but you got my attention. 759 00:39:26,829 --> 00:39:28,421 If there's one thing I know how to do... 760 00:39:28,497 --> 00:39:30,590 it's rinse and repeat. Shall we? 761 00:39:32,568 --> 00:39:33,728 Excuse me, do you happen to have a-- 762 00:39:33,802 --> 00:39:35,793 - Get lost! - Excuse me, sir! 763 00:39:35,871 --> 00:39:39,204 - Do you have a-- - No, I'm busy. 764 00:39:39,274 --> 00:39:41,208 Sir, could I use a section of your newspaper? 765 00:39:41,276 --> 00:39:43,335 We're late for your doggie spa appointment. 766 00:39:48,016 --> 00:39:50,507 - Here you go. - Thank you, young lady. 767 00:39:50,586 --> 00:39:52,645 No problem. What kind of world would this be... 768 00:39:52,721 --> 00:39:55,189 if we didn't help each other out every once in a while? 769 00:39:55,257 --> 00:39:57,725 Have a good day. 770 00:39:57,793 --> 00:39:59,454 What do you want, Bruiser? 771 00:40:05,300 --> 00:40:06,665 Bruiser, honey, come on. 772 00:40:15,377 --> 00:40:16,571 We have to go. We're late. 773 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,573 We have to get to the doggie spa, remember? 774 00:40:20,649 --> 00:40:24,085 Will it be Swedish or shiatsu massage today? 775 00:40:24,153 --> 00:40:26,121 Come on. 776 00:40:29,858 --> 00:40:32,349 Come on. We gotta get you to the puppy pretty parlor. 777 00:40:33,996 --> 00:40:36,521 Redhead, down. 778 00:40:36,598 --> 00:40:38,657 Up next is Stanford Marks... 779 00:40:38,734 --> 00:40:41,328 Southern conservative, NRA spokesman. 780 00:40:41,403 --> 00:40:43,462 How about tulips? 781 00:40:43,539 --> 00:40:47,305 No, no, the calla lily is this year's tulip. 782 00:40:47,376 --> 00:40:50,243 - For weddings? - It's all about the calla. 783 00:40:50,312 --> 00:40:52,337 What would I do without you? 784 00:40:52,414 --> 00:40:54,780 I couldn't do anything without you, Sid. 785 00:40:55,884 --> 00:40:57,579 You're going to get this bill through, Elle. 786 00:40:57,653 --> 00:41:01,749 An honest voice is louder than a crowd's. 787 00:41:01,824 --> 00:41:03,883 Just trust your voice. 788 00:41:07,863 --> 00:41:12,630 Bruiser? Oh, my God. I'll be right back. 789 00:41:12,701 --> 00:41:12,835 Pilates for Poodles? That's Tuesday at 2:30. 790 00:41:12,835 --> 00:41:15,702 Pilates for Poodles? That's Tuesday at 2:30. 791 00:41:17,539 --> 00:41:19,063 - The page said it was urgent! - They said it was urgent. 792 00:41:19,141 --> 00:41:21,006 - Please tell me he's OK. - What's wrong with Leslie? 793 00:41:21,076 --> 00:41:22,873 We have it under control now... 794 00:41:22,945 --> 00:41:24,913 but your Rottweiler has been humping... 795 00:41:24,980 --> 00:41:27,710 your little dog, and vice versa. 796 00:41:27,783 --> 00:41:30,445 Your Chihuahua's quite the little leaper, young lady. 797 00:41:30,519 --> 00:41:32,487 Takes a running start. 798 00:41:32,554 --> 00:41:35,921 Hell, what can I say? My Rottweiler's a stallion. 799 00:41:35,991 --> 00:41:39,154 In our household, we fully support a healthy curiosity. 800 00:41:39,228 --> 00:41:43,995 Testosterone is natural. Wait. Did you say stallion? 801 00:41:44,066 --> 00:41:46,057 Wait a minute. Your dog... 802 00:41:46,134 --> 00:41:48,227 the one wearing that ridiculous pink skirt in the park? 803 00:41:48,303 --> 00:41:50,396 Why would she have testosterone? 804 00:41:50,472 --> 00:41:52,167 That wasn't a skirt, it was a skort. 805 00:41:52,241 --> 00:41:54,038 - Men wear skorts. - Uh-huh. 806 00:41:54,109 --> 00:41:55,804 What the heck is a skort? 807 00:41:55,878 --> 00:41:57,812 And what does a man wearing one got to do with it? 808 00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:04,513 All right! Leslie is a Les. The Rottweiler is a guy... 809 00:42:04,586 --> 00:42:10,024 and Bruiser is a male dog who enjoys wearing pastel. 810 00:42:10,092 --> 00:42:13,220 The canines are both male. 811 00:42:18,634 --> 00:42:22,035 Your dogs are gay. 812 00:42:32,180 --> 00:42:35,513 All the signs were there. I just didn't see them. 813 00:42:35,584 --> 00:42:37,814 Most dogs like to chew your shoes... 814 00:42:37,886 --> 00:42:41,287 and Bruiser liked to wear mine. 815 00:42:41,356 --> 00:42:44,587 I just thought he liked the height. 816 00:42:44,660 --> 00:42:45,888 You just want what's best for them. 817 00:42:45,961 --> 00:42:47,394 Doesn't matter if they're the smartest... 818 00:42:47,462 --> 00:42:50,260 or the strongest or the best diggers. 819 00:42:50,332 --> 00:42:53,392 As long as they're happy. 820 00:42:53,468 --> 00:42:56,335 Why me? Why my dog? 821 00:42:56,405 --> 00:42:59,169 I told Doris not to buy it in Dupont Circle. 822 00:42:59,241 --> 00:43:03,371 That damn homosexual puppy boutique. 823 00:43:03,445 --> 00:43:06,414 Stanford Marks, by the way. You can call me Stan. 824 00:43:06,481 --> 00:43:08,278 Elle Woods. Very nice to meet you. 825 00:43:08,350 --> 00:43:10,716 You're the girl with the perfumed poo baggies. 826 00:43:10,786 --> 00:43:13,880 I'm the woman with the scented waste receptacles. 827 00:43:13,956 --> 00:43:17,517 Wait! Congressman Stanford Marks? 828 00:43:17,592 --> 00:43:18,923 As in the Southern conservative... 829 00:43:18,994 --> 00:43:21,394 NRA spokesman Alabama Republican Stanford Marks? 830 00:43:21,463 --> 00:43:22,760 One and the same. 831 00:43:22,831 --> 00:43:24,093 It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. 832 00:43:24,166 --> 00:43:27,294 No, Congressman, the pleasure is all mine. 833 00:43:27,369 --> 00:43:29,929 - Well... - Believe me. 834 00:43:30,005 --> 00:43:32,940 Here's to getting things done the Washington way. 835 00:43:33,008 --> 00:43:35,340 Your chief of staff has just gotten herself... 836 00:43:35,410 --> 00:43:38,675 a meeting with--wait for it-- Chairman Stan Marks... 837 00:43:38,747 --> 00:43:40,738 in just four short weeks. 838 00:43:40,816 --> 00:43:43,683 - Congratulations, Grace. - Yes! 839 00:43:45,454 --> 00:43:49,049 Oh, yes. OK, who wants to bet... 840 00:43:49,124 --> 00:43:50,955 over-under on Ms. Woods departure? 841 00:43:51,026 --> 00:43:52,584 Right now it's at six days. 842 00:43:52,661 --> 00:43:53,328 - Reena? - No, thanks. 843 00:43:53,328 --> 00:43:54,625 - Reena? - No, thanks. 844 00:43:54,696 --> 00:43:56,323 Come on. Anybody? 845 00:43:56,398 --> 00:43:57,695 Who wants to take over six days? 846 00:43:57,766 --> 00:43:59,393 I'll take it, Grace. 847 00:43:59,468 --> 00:44:01,663 I've been so busy. I'm sorry I'm late. 848 00:44:01,737 --> 00:44:03,728 Reena, could you be a pal and just tell me... 849 00:44:03,805 --> 00:44:05,796 what I'm doing a week from tomorrow? 850 00:44:05,874 --> 00:44:08,069 By the way, that outfit looks fantastic on you. 851 00:44:08,143 --> 00:44:09,974 It really brings out the color in your eyes. 852 00:44:10,045 --> 00:44:11,979 Thanks. 853 00:44:12,047 --> 00:44:14,675 It's on my "I brake for sample sales" bookmark. 854 00:44:16,618 --> 00:44:20,179 9:00--sample custom color wedding cake frosting. 855 00:44:20,255 --> 00:44:22,382 10:00-- rehearse hearing speech. 856 00:44:22,457 --> 00:44:24,152 11:00-- Commerce committee hearing. 857 00:44:24,226 --> 00:44:26,456 12:00-- exfoliating treatment-- 858 00:44:26,528 --> 00:44:29,292 Go back to that one at 11:00. 859 00:44:29,364 --> 00:44:32,822 11:00-- Commerce committee hearing. 860 00:44:32,901 --> 00:44:34,300 That's what it says. 861 00:44:34,369 --> 00:44:35,996 I'm going to be appearing before ranking member... 862 00:44:36,071 --> 00:44:37,663 Libby Hauser, Chairman Stanford Marks... 863 00:44:37,739 --> 00:44:39,366 and the entire Committee of En and Comm. 864 00:44:39,441 --> 00:44:42,171 A hop, skip, and a jump away from a floor vote. 865 00:44:42,244 --> 00:44:43,836 Nice try, but you have to get a bill... 866 00:44:43,912 --> 00:44:45,311 before you have a hearing. 867 00:44:45,380 --> 00:44:47,007 Like this one? 868 00:44:47,082 --> 00:44:49,107 It's like I was saying to the congresswoman... 869 00:44:49,184 --> 00:44:50,981 the other day over caramel macchiatos. 870 00:44:51,053 --> 00:44:53,317 "Is bill writing super fun or what?" 871 00:44:53,388 --> 00:44:55,185 I think so. 872 00:44:55,257 --> 00:44:58,454 Where is that Elle Woods? 873 00:44:58,527 --> 00:45:01,496 Oh, my God. 874 00:45:01,563 --> 00:45:04,532 - Libby just told me the news. - She did? 875 00:45:04,599 --> 00:45:05,930 Never underestimate a woman... 876 00:45:06,001 --> 00:45:07,866 with a French manicure and a Harvard law degree. 877 00:45:07,936 --> 00:45:09,904 Thank you, Victoria. That's very sweet of you... 878 00:45:09,971 --> 00:45:12,906 but I couldn't have done it without your inspiration. 879 00:45:12,974 --> 00:45:15,772 I'm honored. This girl is special. 880 00:45:15,844 --> 00:45:18,608 Actually, I didn't do it alone. 881 00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:21,979 The entire team helped me. It was really a group effort. 882 00:45:22,050 --> 00:45:24,575 Good work, guys. Really good work. 883 00:45:24,653 --> 00:45:26,746 - You. - Thanks. 884 00:45:27,823 --> 00:45:30,383 Thank you, Reena. You're a sweetheart. 885 00:45:30,459 --> 00:45:33,724 And I guess I will see you at the hopper. 886 00:46:09,364 --> 00:46:11,298 Ask not what your best friend can do for man... 887 00:46:11,366 --> 00:46:14,096 but what you can do for man's best friend. 888 00:46:19,441 --> 00:46:20,738 The Committee on Energy and Commerce... 889 00:46:20,809 --> 00:46:22,538 will now come to order. 890 00:46:22,611 --> 00:46:26,513 HR 2562, aka Bruiser's Bill-- 891 00:46:26,581 --> 00:46:28,981 Representative Victoria Rudd, sponsor... 892 00:46:29,050 --> 00:46:30,984 proposing a ban on animal testing... 893 00:46:31,052 --> 00:46:33,145 in the cosmetics industry. 894 00:46:33,221 --> 00:46:34,654 I'd like to welcome you all today as we begin... 895 00:46:34,723 --> 00:46:36,850 consideration of this very important issue. 896 00:46:36,925 --> 00:46:39,723 This week, you will hear testimony from both sides... 897 00:46:39,794 --> 00:46:44,197 and I ask that you keep your ears and your minds open. 898 00:46:44,266 --> 00:46:46,234 This is my first congressional hearing. 899 00:46:46,301 --> 00:46:48,030 Can you believe it? 900 00:46:48,103 --> 00:46:49,468 And so I come to you today as a citizen... 901 00:46:49,538 --> 00:46:51,870 and a scientist with the National Institute of Health 902 00:46:51,940 --> 00:46:54,431 for 25 years, during which time... 903 00:46:54,509 --> 00:46:56,977 it's become increasingly clear that these supposed alternatives 904 00:46:57,045 --> 00:47:00,276 to animal testing aren't alternatives at all. 905 00:47:00,348 --> 00:47:04,284 I took this office to represent my two-legged constituents. 906 00:47:04,352 --> 00:47:08,288 Recently, I saw an item in a pet store with the label... 907 00:47:08,356 --> 00:47:11,052 "This product is tested on humans." 908 00:47:11,126 --> 00:47:13,026 That's a problem worth discussing. 909 00:47:17,432 --> 00:47:18,865 All the bleeding hearts... 910 00:47:18,934 --> 00:47:20,595 will try to distract us from the facts... 911 00:47:20,669 --> 00:47:23,729 with their saccharine talk of wagging tails... 912 00:47:23,805 --> 00:47:27,400 cold noses, and other sentimental mumbo jumbo. 913 00:47:27,475 --> 00:47:30,501 Consider this--where we see softness of heart... 914 00:47:30,579 --> 00:47:33,207 we often see softness of mind. 915 00:47:33,281 --> 00:47:36,045 And so to move on such a bill at this juncture in time... 916 00:47:36,117 --> 00:47:38,449 would wreak havoc on already unstable... 917 00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,387 local economies across the country. 918 00:47:41,456 --> 00:47:44,050 Now, that's a problem worth discussing. 919 00:47:46,228 --> 00:47:47,889 You know I'd do anything for you... 920 00:47:47,963 --> 00:47:49,897 but I got to tell you, that is one tough room. 921 00:47:49,965 --> 00:47:52,126 - Better be prepared tomorrow. - All right. 922 00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:54,634 Excuse me, ladies. Good evening. 923 00:47:54,703 --> 00:47:58,195 I know you've had a bad day in court before. 924 00:47:58,273 --> 00:47:59,501 It's the same thing. 925 00:47:59,574 --> 00:48:01,633 They make their case, we make ours. 926 00:48:01,710 --> 00:48:03,143 Yes, but that was bad. 927 00:48:03,211 --> 00:48:06,612 They're mostly posturing for their constituents back home. 928 00:48:06,681 --> 00:48:08,478 I think we have the votes in committee... 929 00:48:08,550 --> 00:48:10,279 even without your testimony. 930 00:48:10,352 --> 00:48:14,118 But they have scientists and economists and facts. 931 00:48:14,189 --> 00:48:17,352 So do we. Elle, listen to me. 932 00:48:17,425 --> 00:48:20,758 Go home. Have an early evening. 933 00:48:20,829 --> 00:48:22,854 Sorry. 934 00:48:22,931 --> 00:48:25,832 Victoria Rudd. Yes. 935 00:48:25,900 --> 00:48:28,698 Hang on one minute, will you? 936 00:48:28,770 --> 00:48:31,603 Go home. Try to relax. 937 00:48:31,673 --> 00:48:35,541 And don't think like them. Think like you. 938 00:48:35,610 --> 00:48:37,976 OK. Thanks. 939 00:48:38,046 --> 00:48:40,139 - Good night. - Good night. 940 00:48:42,384 --> 00:48:43,976 Bob, how are you? 941 00:48:48,089 --> 00:48:50,649 I'm leaving the Capitol right now. 942 00:48:50,725 --> 00:48:53,660 - Thanks. Nice work. - Oh. 943 00:48:58,366 --> 00:48:59,492 Sid? 944 00:48:59,567 --> 00:49:03,025 I'm sorry about that. This happens all the time. 945 00:49:03,104 --> 00:49:04,696 My break is almost up... 946 00:49:04,773 --> 00:49:08,368 but I wanted to get you this before tomorrow. 947 00:49:08,443 --> 00:49:10,001 Great. Let's walk. 948 00:49:11,546 --> 00:49:13,446 Sidney, this is brilliant. 949 00:49:13,515 --> 00:49:15,574 How did you know all this? 950 00:49:15,650 --> 00:49:19,211 Hundreds of dogs walked and thousands of plastic baggies. 951 00:49:19,287 --> 00:49:22,120 This is perfect. This is exactly what I need. 952 00:49:23,525 --> 00:49:26,961 Well, of course I appreciate your support. 953 00:49:27,028 --> 00:49:28,427 Why wouldn't it continue? 954 00:49:28,496 --> 00:49:31,624 I'm already on record on that issue. 955 00:49:37,305 --> 00:49:38,897 All right. 956 00:49:38,973 --> 00:49:40,804 I'll do what I can. 957 00:49:40,875 --> 00:49:43,309 Don't push me, Bob. 958 00:49:43,378 --> 00:49:45,243 I'll do what I can. 959 00:49:45,313 --> 00:49:47,645 All right. Good night. 960 00:49:51,986 --> 00:49:55,888 - I need to call in my favor. - I'm listening. 961 00:49:55,957 --> 00:49:59,393 I've changed my position on Bruiser's Bill. 962 00:49:59,461 --> 00:50:02,555 A man who controls a political machine... 963 00:50:02,630 --> 00:50:05,929 Boy, he's good. He is really good. 964 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,729 I'm really glad we're watching this. 965 00:50:07,802 --> 00:50:09,463 This is good for you. 966 00:50:09,537 --> 00:50:10,731 He promised to break me in two. 967 00:50:10,805 --> 00:50:12,170 I'm starting to worry about... 968 00:50:12,240 --> 00:50:14,003 getting all this wedding planning done. 969 00:50:14,075 --> 00:50:17,476 Elle, I want you to follow my lead in Washington. 970 00:50:17,545 --> 00:50:20,605 And always make sure Bruiser wears a sweater. 971 00:50:20,682 --> 00:50:23,981 - Is that Sean Connery? - No, it's not. 972 00:50:24,052 --> 00:50:25,542 Powerful enough to control congressmen... 973 00:50:25,620 --> 00:50:28,145 Seriously, honey, don't worry about the wedding research. 974 00:50:28,223 --> 00:50:30,555 Just give 'em hell tomorrow. 975 00:50:47,108 --> 00:50:50,009 The chair now recognizes legislative aide Elle Woods. 976 00:50:57,752 --> 00:50:58,878 Thank you, Mr. Chairman. 977 00:50:58,953 --> 00:51:00,614 There she is! 978 00:51:00,688 --> 00:51:03,122 Guys, she really did it. 979 00:51:04,392 --> 00:51:05,654 Miss Woods? 980 00:51:05,727 --> 00:51:07,456 Well, I'll be damned. 981 00:51:07,529 --> 00:51:10,123 Representative Kroft... 982 00:51:10,198 --> 00:51:12,689 that lip gloss looks absolutely sensational on you. 983 00:51:13,735 --> 00:51:15,225 I'm sorry, what? 984 00:51:15,303 --> 00:51:17,737 It's Raspberry Macaroon number 156. 985 00:51:17,806 --> 00:51:19,797 Company shall remain nameless, is that correct? 986 00:51:19,874 --> 00:51:24,368 Well, yes. But how did you-- 987 00:51:24,446 --> 00:51:26,141 What if I told you, Representative Kroft... 988 00:51:26,214 --> 00:51:28,273 that you owe that special bounce in your step... 989 00:51:28,349 --> 00:51:31,079 that only comes from finding the perfect lipstick... 990 00:51:31,152 --> 00:51:35,145 to the pain and suffering of innocent animals? 991 00:51:35,223 --> 00:51:36,656 What if I was to tell you... 992 00:51:36,724 --> 00:51:38,749 Congresswoman Madeline Melanie Kroft... 993 00:51:38,827 --> 00:51:41,159 that you owe your Raspberry Macaroon... 994 00:51:43,665 --> 00:51:46,691 to him? 995 00:51:46,768 --> 00:51:48,326 My best friend. 996 00:51:52,841 --> 00:51:54,604 Bruiser. 997 00:51:54,676 --> 00:51:57,702 How many times has he acted on my behalf? 998 00:51:57,779 --> 00:52:00,043 Countless. 999 00:52:00,114 --> 00:52:05,450 But today, I get the opportunity to speak for him. 1000 00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:08,455 Who do you speak for? 1001 00:52:13,795 --> 00:52:15,695 Congressman Fuchs... 1002 00:52:15,763 --> 00:52:19,460 the next time you reach for your overnight moisturizing gloves-- 1003 00:52:19,534 --> 00:52:21,195 By the way, it's nothing to be ashamed about. 1004 00:52:21,269 --> 00:52:23,396 More men should use them. 1005 00:52:23,471 --> 00:52:27,567 Consider asking yourself what you're willing to sacrifice... 1006 00:52:27,642 --> 00:52:30,270 in the name of beauty and soft cuticles. 1007 00:52:30,345 --> 00:52:33,940 Are you willing to sacrifice animal welfare? 1008 00:52:34,015 --> 00:52:36,677 Or how about the welfare of one animal? 1009 00:52:36,751 --> 00:52:39,413 Like Jelly, your childhood pal... 1010 00:52:39,487 --> 00:52:42,650 that striking retriever-black lab mix. 1011 00:52:44,826 --> 00:52:48,489 You know about Jelly? 1012 00:52:48,563 --> 00:52:51,691 When all the other children refused to play Lone Ranger... 1013 00:52:51,766 --> 00:52:53,996 who was it that was always your Tonto? 1014 00:52:54,068 --> 00:52:56,593 Jelly Belly. 1015 00:53:07,715 --> 00:53:10,650 Mr. Chairman... 1016 00:53:10,718 --> 00:53:12,811 when you look in those snap-worthy almond eyes... 1017 00:53:12,887 --> 00:53:14,115 of your Rottweiler Leslie... 1018 00:53:14,188 --> 00:53:16,952 does it not make your heart glow with warmth? 1019 00:53:17,025 --> 00:53:20,119 With due respect, Ms. Woods, I wouldn't go that far. 1020 00:53:20,194 --> 00:53:21,718 But when he learned to differentiate... 1021 00:53:21,796 --> 00:53:23,593 between seven different kinds of pipes... 1022 00:53:23,665 --> 00:53:25,997 and fetch each one on command, did you not swear... 1023 00:53:26,067 --> 00:53:28,194 to protect him with every shotgun... 1024 00:53:28,269 --> 00:53:32,399 in your charming little ammunitions case? 1025 00:53:32,473 --> 00:53:33,804 It wouldn't come to that. 1026 00:53:33,875 --> 00:53:37,140 This is a dog we're talking about. 1027 00:53:37,211 --> 00:53:39,406 But if you could speak for Leslie... 1028 00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:41,573 what would you say? 1029 00:53:46,220 --> 00:53:51,385 What would Leslie want you to say for him, Mr. Chairman? 1030 00:53:54,829 --> 00:53:56,797 Stan. 1031 00:54:06,908 --> 00:54:08,068 To hell with it. 1032 00:54:09,444 --> 00:54:12,902 My Rottweiler Les is of the homosexual orientation. 1033 00:54:13,948 --> 00:54:16,746 I've said it. I'm out. 1034 00:54:16,818 --> 00:54:19,252 My name is Stan Marks, I'm a conservative Republican... 1035 00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:21,379 NRA spokesman, and my dog is gay. 1036 00:54:21,456 --> 00:54:23,720 And guess what? 1037 00:54:23,791 --> 00:54:26,885 I couldn't be prouder of the little flamer! 1038 00:54:26,961 --> 00:54:29,259 I don't care how good my hair looks... 1039 00:54:29,330 --> 00:54:31,525 slicked back with some high-dollar pomade. 1040 00:54:31,599 --> 00:54:35,433 Just one long stare into that sweet sissy dog's eyes... 1041 00:54:35,503 --> 00:54:40,566 and I know no cosmetic could ever be worth it! 1042 00:54:40,642 --> 00:54:45,079 Bruiser's Bill. 1043 00:54:45,146 --> 00:54:46,875 Bruiser's Bill! 1044 00:54:49,617 --> 00:54:51,585 We did it! Bill passing! 1045 00:54:51,653 --> 00:54:54,281 Bruiser's Bill! 1046 00:54:54,355 --> 00:54:56,380 Important legislation for our time. 1047 00:55:07,168 --> 00:55:09,432 Bruiser, good work, little guy. 1048 00:55:14,709 --> 00:55:16,438 I would like to conclude this hearing... 1049 00:55:16,511 --> 00:55:18,342 by thanking you all for your testimony-- 1050 00:55:18,413 --> 00:55:19,778 Mr. Chairman, sir... 1051 00:55:19,847 --> 00:55:21,007 The chair recognizes... 1052 00:55:21,082 --> 00:55:22,709 the gentlewoman from Massachusetts. 1053 00:55:22,784 --> 00:55:25,048 Mr. Chairman, committee members... 1054 00:55:25,119 --> 00:55:28,646 I would like to thank you for your consideration of this bill. 1055 00:55:28,723 --> 00:55:31,521 However, after further reflection... 1056 00:55:31,592 --> 00:55:34,720 on the budgetary realities of this fiscal year... 1057 00:55:34,796 --> 00:55:38,254 I feel I must withdraw my support for Bruiser's Bill. 1058 00:55:38,332 --> 00:55:40,994 - What? - I concur! 1059 00:55:53,314 --> 00:55:55,282 Everybody, calm down. 1060 00:56:04,559 --> 00:56:06,390 I'm sorry, Bruiser. 1061 00:56:08,162 --> 00:56:10,494 I'm sorry, too, Elle. 1062 00:56:10,565 --> 00:56:12,829 I know you think I've let you down. 1063 00:56:12,900 --> 00:56:15,368 Believe me, I thought about your reaction... 1064 00:56:15,436 --> 00:56:17,461 maybe more than I should have. 1065 00:56:19,240 --> 00:56:21,936 You were outmaneuvered... 1066 00:56:22,009 --> 00:56:23,874 by Grace. 1067 00:56:23,945 --> 00:56:25,708 Grace? 1068 00:56:25,780 --> 00:56:28,214 For the last two sessions she's been pushing... 1069 00:56:28,282 --> 00:56:30,409 this homeowners incentives bill. 1070 00:56:30,485 --> 00:56:32,612 This morning she struck a deal. 1071 00:56:32,687 --> 00:56:36,555 I withdraw my support for Bruiser's Bill. 1072 00:56:36,624 --> 00:56:40,253 Homeowners incentives comes to a vote. 1073 00:56:40,328 --> 00:56:42,319 That was the price and I paid it. 1074 00:56:42,396 --> 00:56:46,492 That's all just deals and trades and secrets. 1075 00:56:50,204 --> 00:56:53,230 That's not what people want. 1076 00:57:01,616 --> 00:57:05,313 Elle... I'm sorry. 1077 00:57:14,095 --> 00:57:16,029 Government of the people... 1078 00:57:16,097 --> 00:57:19,464 by the people, for the people. 1079 00:57:44,458 --> 00:57:47,325 So what's your story? 1080 00:57:47,395 --> 00:57:49,886 Were you even honest? 1081 00:57:51,265 --> 00:57:53,233 I guess you were. 1082 00:57:56,871 --> 00:57:58,099 If you didn't play games... 1083 00:57:58,172 --> 00:58:01,471 then you were probably the only one. 1084 00:58:04,145 --> 00:58:06,875 I just don't know how you did it. 1085 00:58:06,948 --> 00:58:09,280 I don't even mean wearing that silly hat... 1086 00:58:09,350 --> 00:58:11,284 because that was really brave. 1087 00:58:11,352 --> 00:58:13,479 But... 1088 00:58:13,554 --> 00:58:16,489 Just trusting your country. 1089 00:58:16,557 --> 00:58:19,117 Trusting this system... 1090 00:58:22,296 --> 00:58:24,560 Trusting yourself. 1091 00:58:24,632 --> 00:58:26,793 I did. 1092 00:58:41,716 --> 00:58:44,776 Go on. It's full of warm fuzzies. 1093 00:58:44,852 --> 00:58:47,650 With extra fuzz. 1094 00:58:59,934 --> 00:59:03,062 "Elle Woods has amazing lateral delts." 1095 00:59:03,137 --> 00:59:06,038 That was my target muscle group of the month. 1096 00:59:06,107 --> 00:59:08,974 Snaps for Elle's lateral delts. 1097 00:59:24,759 --> 00:59:27,057 "Elle Woods inspires us." 1098 00:59:29,297 --> 00:59:31,094 We even put little hearts over the "Is". 1099 00:59:31,165 --> 00:59:34,157 - I see that. - It was my idea. 1100 00:59:34,235 --> 00:59:36,362 Thank you, Timothy. 1101 00:59:36,437 --> 00:59:38,905 Thank you, everybody. This is really nice. 1102 00:59:38,973 --> 00:59:42,636 But I just don't think I'm cut out for this. 1103 00:59:42,710 --> 00:59:43,836 Elle, we have a plan. 1104 00:59:43,911 --> 00:59:46,539 Two words for you-- Discharge petition. 1105 00:59:46,614 --> 00:59:48,411 With a couple hundred signatures... 1106 00:59:48,482 --> 00:59:50,416 we can spring Bruiser's Bill from committee... 1107 00:59:50,484 --> 00:59:52,714 straight to the House floor for a vote. 1108 00:59:52,787 --> 00:59:56,154 I don't know. That sounds really complicated. 1109 00:59:56,223 --> 00:59:57,656 You've come farther than any of us... 1110 00:59:57,725 --> 00:59:59,852 while maintaining your bounce and sparkle. 1111 00:59:59,927 --> 01:00:01,588 We never sparkle. 1112 01:00:01,662 --> 01:00:04,756 None of us thought one person could make a difference... 1113 01:00:04,832 --> 01:00:06,993 until you came along. 1114 01:00:08,402 --> 01:00:12,099 If I remember correctly, isn't that 218 signatures? 1115 01:00:12,173 --> 01:00:14,573 It's not that hard. 1116 01:00:14,642 --> 01:00:17,110 Yeah. 1117 01:00:18,412 --> 01:00:19,572 Yeah. 1118 01:00:20,748 --> 01:00:22,943 I guess I know women with more shoes than that. 1119 01:00:23,017 --> 01:00:26,214 Wait, that's me. 1120 01:00:26,287 --> 01:00:28,187 Elle... 1121 01:00:28,255 --> 01:00:30,917 it's time to finish what you started. 1122 01:00:34,762 --> 01:00:36,559 OK, people, a lot on the agenda today. 1123 01:00:36,630 --> 01:00:39,565 Reenie, I'm still waiting on those one-minute floor speeches. 1124 01:00:39,633 --> 01:00:43,626 Timothy, I need recon on that campaign finance reform hearing. 1125 01:00:43,704 --> 01:00:46,400 Grace, status meeting in my office right away. 1126 01:00:49,844 --> 01:00:53,336 I said now. 1127 01:00:57,318 --> 01:00:58,512 Where's my staff? 1128 01:00:58,586 --> 01:01:01,714 They quit, without notice. 1129 01:01:01,789 --> 01:01:03,848 Why? 1130 01:01:05,326 --> 01:01:08,261 Marks and Hauser just filed a petition... 1131 01:01:08,329 --> 01:01:09,728 to discharge Bruiser's Bill. 1132 01:01:09,797 --> 01:01:12,061 I'm pretty sure that's where your staff is... 1133 01:01:12,133 --> 01:01:14,829 led by their commander Sorority Sue. 1134 01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:23,443 Petition to discharge HR 2652, aka Bruiser's Bill... 1135 01:01:23,511 --> 01:01:25,479 carried with no objections. 1136 01:01:25,546 --> 01:01:29,505 The petition is filed and available for signature. 1137 01:01:30,818 --> 01:01:33,013 Actually, we are strictly... 1138 01:01:33,087 --> 01:01:36,488 "bring your own" on the discharge petition. 1139 01:01:43,431 --> 01:01:46,958 But it's pink... and scented. 1140 01:01:47,034 --> 01:01:50,435 Gives it something extra, don't you think? 1141 01:01:50,504 --> 01:01:52,995 We've both signed it, as you can see. 1142 01:01:54,241 --> 01:01:56,505 I believe we're being dismissed. Thank you. 1143 01:01:56,577 --> 01:01:58,772 There will be others to come and sign. 1144 01:01:58,846 --> 01:02:00,939 - Don't you like pink? - Come on! 1145 01:02:15,930 --> 01:02:18,899 Up on your feet, people. 1146 01:02:18,966 --> 01:02:21,730 Discharge petition time. 1147 01:02:21,802 --> 01:02:23,201 Upsy-daisy. 1148 01:02:25,639 --> 01:02:28,403 We have our work cut out for us. Let's go. 1149 01:02:30,811 --> 01:02:34,247 OK, we have two signatures. 216 to go. 1150 01:02:34,315 --> 01:02:35,805 I'll break up the country into color codes. 1151 01:02:35,883 --> 01:02:37,817 Timothy, you're teal. 1152 01:02:37,885 --> 01:02:40,080 Reena, you're magenta. 1153 01:02:40,154 --> 01:02:42,418 And Elle is marigold. 1154 01:02:42,490 --> 01:02:43,980 And I've got the Wellington covered. 1155 01:02:44,058 --> 01:02:45,855 37 signatures in residence. 1156 01:02:45,926 --> 01:02:48,622 Sid Post, 37. 1157 01:02:48,696 --> 01:02:51,688 Congress adjourns in 3 weeks. We can't do this alone. 1158 01:02:51,765 --> 01:02:53,699 That's why I'm calling in reinforcements. 1159 01:02:53,767 --> 01:02:55,029 I hope we're talking... 1160 01:02:55,102 --> 01:02:57,434 the brightest political minds in the country. 1161 01:02:59,840 --> 01:03:01,535 We're here! 1162 01:03:07,114 --> 01:03:08,706 Oh, my God! 1163 01:03:11,185 --> 01:03:13,517 Oh, gosh, we can't wait to see the Mall. 1164 01:03:13,587 --> 01:03:15,111 And the Statue of Liberty. 1165 01:03:15,189 --> 01:03:17,589 Everybody, these are my Delta Nu sisters. 1166 01:03:17,658 --> 01:03:19,250 This is Margot and Serena. 1167 01:03:19,326 --> 01:03:22,887 Josh made the cruise boat pull over in Puerto Vallarta. 1168 01:03:22,963 --> 01:03:24,294 I left L.A. Right after landing... 1169 01:03:24,365 --> 01:03:26,993 a lateral split in the third quarter dance break. 1170 01:03:27,067 --> 01:03:29,797 It was awesome. I went "Yah!" and "Haah!" 1171 01:03:29,870 --> 01:03:32,361 - That's so great. - Yeah, thanks. 1172 01:03:32,439 --> 01:03:34,964 So, is it time? 1173 01:03:35,042 --> 01:03:37,237 Oh, no, it's not time yet. 1174 01:03:41,649 --> 01:03:44,413 Hello? You're here? 1175 01:03:44,485 --> 01:03:47,477 We'll meet you in the lobby. Let's go. 1176 01:03:50,891 --> 01:03:52,950 Everybody, this is the final member of our team... 1177 01:03:53,027 --> 01:03:54,153 Paulette Parcelle. 1178 01:03:54,228 --> 01:03:57,197 Who's ready to discharge? 1179 01:03:57,264 --> 01:04:01,928 And proposition a bill and... whatever. 1180 01:04:02,002 --> 01:04:04,129 Let's hit the Hill. 1181 01:04:05,372 --> 01:04:07,897 If I could have a moment of your time-- 1182 01:04:07,975 --> 01:04:10,876 You could consider something-- 1183 01:04:10,945 --> 01:04:13,743 Quadrant 4, corridor 6, have lost one. 1184 01:04:15,649 --> 01:04:18,641 Sorry. How are you? 1185 01:04:18,719 --> 01:04:19,947 If I could have a minute of your time? 1186 01:04:20,020 --> 01:04:21,954 Reena, how are you? 1187 01:04:22,022 --> 01:04:23,512 Has anybody told you about Bruiser's Bill? 1188 01:04:23,591 --> 01:04:25,252 Is it trivial, Congressman Hannenfeld? 1189 01:04:25,326 --> 01:04:27,317 Animals don't have the same reactions... 1190 01:04:27,394 --> 01:04:28,520 to drugs that humans do. 1191 01:04:28,596 --> 01:04:29,722 It's like the time... 1192 01:04:29,797 --> 01:04:31,321 my trainer's sister's cousin's girlfriend... 1193 01:04:31,398 --> 01:04:32,922 gave her overweight Yorkie some phen-fen... 1194 01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:34,592 because she was a little bit fat... 1195 01:04:34,668 --> 01:04:36,067 and it gained three pounds. 1196 01:04:36,136 --> 01:04:38,570 Desired result? I don't think so. 1197 01:04:38,639 --> 01:04:40,766 You know? 1198 01:04:42,543 --> 01:04:45,137 Oh, my dear, gifted woman... 1199 01:04:45,212 --> 01:04:46,474 you tell that Bruiser Woods... 1200 01:04:46,547 --> 01:04:49,209 he can count on the Sunshine State. 1201 01:04:49,283 --> 01:04:51,444 Thank you, Ohio. 1202 01:05:01,161 --> 01:05:03,425 Thank you, Atlanta! 1203 01:05:03,497 --> 01:05:05,294 Who's next? 1204 01:05:05,366 --> 01:05:06,856 You're next! 1205 01:05:09,403 --> 01:05:11,837 We're gonna do it. 1206 01:05:18,045 --> 01:05:19,512 Serena... 1207 01:05:19,580 --> 01:05:22,845 why do they keep sending us to Room 216? 1208 01:05:22,916 --> 01:05:25,885 "Intern Orientation." 1209 01:05:27,321 --> 01:05:29,414 Margot, you're a genius. 1210 01:05:29,490 --> 01:05:30,957 If this doesn't get more signatures... 1211 01:05:31,025 --> 01:05:32,185 I don't know what will. 1212 01:05:34,628 --> 01:05:37,529 Intern class of 2003 on deck! 1213 01:05:43,671 --> 01:05:46,003 Remember, flexibility counts. 1214 01:05:49,677 --> 01:05:52,237 Ready? OK! 1215 01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:55,505 Dogs of the world unite! 1216 01:06:21,442 --> 01:06:23,103 2... 4... 6... 8! 1217 01:06:23,177 --> 01:06:25,475 Sign the petition, win a date! 1218 01:06:25,546 --> 01:06:28,447 Go Bruiser's Bill, go! 1219 01:06:31,051 --> 01:06:32,575 Well, I'm signing. 1220 01:06:34,455 --> 01:06:37,481 Yes, Bob, I know what you're reading. 1221 01:06:37,558 --> 01:06:40,356 Are you kidding? 1222 01:06:40,427 --> 01:06:43,396 Your support has been invaluable to me. 1223 01:06:43,464 --> 01:06:46,194 If it weren't for you, I'd be painting my own posters. 1224 01:06:46,266 --> 01:06:49,531 I don't care if she has two weeks left. 1225 01:06:49,603 --> 01:06:51,298 She could have two years left. 1226 01:06:51,372 --> 01:06:52,930 She won't pull this off. 1227 01:06:53,006 --> 01:06:58,444 I will not be outmaneuvered by this silly little blonde. 1228 01:07:00,214 --> 01:07:02,739 Don't worry, Bob. I'll get her... 1229 01:07:02,816 --> 01:07:05,011 and her little dog, too. 1230 01:07:06,553 --> 01:07:08,282 Even with the entire Wellington... 1231 01:07:08,355 --> 01:07:10,983 and 68 life-changing haircuts under Paulette's belt... 1232 01:07:11,058 --> 01:07:12,184 we're still not even close. 1233 01:07:12,259 --> 01:07:13,988 We got a problem here. 1234 01:07:14,061 --> 01:07:17,224 The bad news is... 1235 01:07:17,297 --> 01:07:19,265 Reena. 1236 01:07:28,242 --> 01:07:32,372 Wow. You look amazing. 1237 01:07:32,446 --> 01:07:35,381 It's just layers and highlights... 1238 01:07:35,449 --> 01:07:37,007 and a cellulose finishing rinse. 1239 01:07:37,084 --> 01:07:38,949 I did it. 1240 01:07:39,019 --> 01:07:41,044 Cool. 1241 01:07:41,121 --> 01:07:42,782 What is the bad news? 1242 01:07:42,856 --> 01:07:45,825 We lost Hannenfeld. We were planning on him... 1243 01:07:45,893 --> 01:07:48,293 to bring Felsen, Parks, and Janowitz on board. 1244 01:07:48,362 --> 01:07:50,455 What are you talking about? I talked to Hannenfeld myself. 1245 01:07:50,531 --> 01:07:52,999 I confirmed with his aide this morning over breakfast. 1246 01:07:53,066 --> 01:07:56,194 I don't know. Somebody must've got to him at lunch. 1247 01:07:57,237 --> 01:07:58,670 It's Grace. 1248 01:07:58,739 --> 01:08:01,333 - Please make sure. - I will. Two weeks? 1249 01:08:01,408 --> 01:08:03,171 I'm looking for Grace Rossiter. 1250 01:08:03,243 --> 01:08:06,007 I just want to know if she's coming back soon. 1251 01:08:06,079 --> 01:08:08,206 Elle. Hi. 1252 01:08:08,282 --> 01:08:09,510 Oh, hi. 1253 01:08:09,583 --> 01:08:11,744 I was going to call you. 1254 01:08:11,819 --> 01:08:14,515 I was looking for Grace. 1255 01:08:14,588 --> 01:08:16,180 The discharge petition. 1256 01:08:16,256 --> 01:08:17,985 We lost Hannenfeld... 1257 01:08:18,058 --> 01:08:20,083 and I was wondering if Grace knew anything about it. 1258 01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,287 None of that is important anymore. 1259 01:08:22,362 --> 01:08:24,762 Could I speak with you for a moment? 1260 01:08:24,832 --> 01:08:26,663 Sure. 1261 01:08:33,907 --> 01:08:36,239 You did it, Elle. You won. 1262 01:08:36,310 --> 01:08:39,108 You can collect Bruiser's mom anytime you like. 1263 01:08:39,179 --> 01:08:40,544 What? 1264 01:08:40,614 --> 01:08:43,412 If you promise not to be disappointed in me again... 1265 01:08:43,484 --> 01:08:46,851 I'll tell you. I pulled a few strings. 1266 01:08:46,920 --> 01:08:51,357 C'est Magnifique is releasing all of their test animals. 1267 01:08:51,425 --> 01:08:52,915 All of them? 1268 01:08:52,993 --> 01:08:54,790 All of them. And what's more... 1269 01:08:54,862 --> 01:08:56,193 they have been so impressed... 1270 01:08:56,263 --> 01:08:58,561 with how you've handled yourself down here... 1271 01:08:58,632 --> 01:09:02,568 they want you on board as head of their legal department. 1272 01:09:02,636 --> 01:09:04,069 It's a very generous offer. 1273 01:09:04,137 --> 01:09:06,401 I don't know. 1274 01:09:06,473 --> 01:09:07,940 You did it. 1275 01:09:08,008 --> 01:09:10,568 You did what you came here to do. 1276 01:09:10,644 --> 01:09:13,511 Yeah, but what about the discharge petition? 1277 01:09:13,580 --> 01:09:15,673 This isn't about just one animal... 1278 01:09:15,749 --> 01:09:16,875 it's all of the animals. 1279 01:09:16,950 --> 01:09:19,612 I agree, but you've got a great team in place. 1280 01:09:19,686 --> 01:09:21,210 They can carry on without you. 1281 01:09:21,288 --> 01:09:23,950 C'est Magnifique wants you up there by Monday. 1282 01:09:24,024 --> 01:09:27,289 You can go home. 1283 01:09:27,361 --> 01:09:29,955 Congratulations, Elle. 1284 01:09:30,030 --> 01:09:32,191 Wow. Thank you. Thanks for doing that. 1285 01:09:32,266 --> 01:09:34,131 Well, sure. 1286 01:09:37,237 --> 01:09:40,638 We have to stick together, us Washington blondes. 1287 01:09:40,707 --> 01:09:43,471 Do you know who Representative Hannenfeld... 1288 01:09:43,544 --> 01:09:46,172 had lunch with today in the members dining room? 1289 01:09:47,548 --> 01:09:50,449 I skipped lunch today. Had a facial. 1290 01:09:50,517 --> 01:09:52,985 OK. Thanks. 1291 01:09:53,053 --> 01:09:55,112 I'll call you about that. 1292 01:09:55,188 --> 01:09:56,678 Yeah. 1293 01:10:07,801 --> 01:10:10,463 Emmett, I know you're probably in Case Law class right now... 1294 01:10:10,537 --> 01:10:12,528 but call me back when you get this. 1295 01:10:12,606 --> 01:10:14,938 I think I'm coming home. 1296 01:10:15,008 --> 01:10:16,873 But it's a good thing. 1297 01:10:16,944 --> 01:10:20,107 Maybe. Call me back. 1298 01:10:32,359 --> 01:10:34,293 Will you leave us alone now? 1299 01:10:34,361 --> 01:10:35,953 Excuse me? 1300 01:10:36,029 --> 01:10:38,020 I know you've been working against us... 1301 01:10:38,098 --> 01:10:39,360 and I know somehow it's personal. 1302 01:10:39,433 --> 01:10:41,867 - You don't like me. - Clearly. 1303 01:10:41,935 --> 01:10:45,564 If I leave Washington, will you call off the fight... 1304 01:10:45,639 --> 01:10:47,106 and let Bruiser's Bill have a fair shot? 1305 01:10:47,174 --> 01:10:50,632 Your bill is trivial to me. I have my own agenda. 1306 01:10:50,711 --> 01:10:54,112 Like the homeowners bill you pushed through at our expense? 1307 01:10:54,181 --> 01:10:55,808 That's all I'm asking, Grace-- 1308 01:10:55,882 --> 01:10:58,715 Homeowners incentives? I wouldn't touch that bill. 1309 01:10:58,785 --> 01:11:01,219 It's a tax break for the wealthy. 1310 01:11:03,123 --> 01:11:06,581 Haven't you been pushing it for the last two sessions? 1311 01:11:06,660 --> 01:11:09,527 Victoria has a live interview with Connie Chung in an hour. 1312 01:11:09,596 --> 01:11:11,860 I don't have time for this. 1313 01:11:11,932 --> 01:11:14,366 That's the interview she's preparing for? 1314 01:11:14,434 --> 01:11:16,902 She's in makeup right now. 1315 01:11:16,970 --> 01:11:18,938 She's in makeup? 1316 01:11:19,072 --> 01:11:21,006 Mike test, 1-2-3. 1317 01:11:21,074 --> 01:11:22,507 Is Miss Chung available? 1318 01:11:22,576 --> 01:11:24,134 I'd like to go over some ground rules 1319 01:11:24,211 --> 01:11:27,146 before we go on live, for goodness sakes. 1320 01:11:27,214 --> 01:11:29,580 Yes, OK. Thanks. 1321 01:11:31,551 --> 01:11:33,348 Doesn't she have a beautiful complexion? 1322 01:11:33,420 --> 01:11:36,287 She's like a PSA for SPF. 1323 01:11:36,356 --> 01:11:38,756 Thank you, Elle. I thought you were gone. 1324 01:11:38,825 --> 01:11:40,690 Home? No, no, no. I'm not ready yet-- 1325 01:11:40,761 --> 01:11:42,228 Epidermally speaking, that is. 1326 01:11:42,295 --> 01:11:44,354 I'm actually feeling a little bit muddy. 1327 01:11:44,431 --> 01:11:46,092 I need a light exfoliation... 1328 01:11:46,166 --> 01:11:47,428 followed by super rich hydration... 1329 01:11:47,501 --> 01:11:50,368 and I thought, Victoria will have a good recommendation. 1330 01:11:50,437 --> 01:11:52,632 Sweetie, this really isn't the best time. 1331 01:11:52,706 --> 01:11:54,105 I know you're very busy... 1332 01:11:54,174 --> 01:11:56,108 so I already called your facialist. 1333 01:11:56,176 --> 01:11:59,111 The thing is she said you didn't come in today. 1334 01:11:59,179 --> 01:12:01,977 Oh, no, no. I went someplace else. 1335 01:12:02,049 --> 01:12:03,539 Someplace new. Is that all? 1336 01:12:03,617 --> 01:12:04,743 No, that's not all. 1337 01:12:04,818 --> 01:12:07,446 Every woman knows that a good facial... 1338 01:12:07,521 --> 01:12:09,853 can be a painful experience if done properly... 1339 01:12:09,923 --> 01:12:13,359 resulting in red blotchy areas all over your skin... 1340 01:12:13,427 --> 01:12:16,123 swelling, tenderness in your T-zone area. 1341 01:12:16,196 --> 01:12:18,926 Even more so if your facialist is Eastern European... 1342 01:12:18,999 --> 01:12:20,523 as so many of the best are. 1343 01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:22,727 Payback for the fall of Communism, I like to say. 1344 01:12:22,803 --> 01:12:25,294 What on earth are you talking about? 1345 01:12:25,372 --> 01:12:26,896 Isn't it the first rule of facials... 1346 01:12:26,973 --> 01:12:28,736 that there's a 24-hour window between a facial... 1347 01:12:28,809 --> 01:12:31,676 and any major occasion such as a date or a dance... 1348 01:12:31,745 --> 01:12:34,612 or maybe an interview with Mrs. Maury Povich? 1349 01:12:34,681 --> 01:12:36,581 I don't think that's a rule... 1350 01:12:36,650 --> 01:12:38,948 the most well-groomed woman in Washington would forget. 1351 01:12:39,019 --> 01:12:41,351 This is ridiculous. Could we clear this room? 1352 01:12:41,421 --> 01:12:42,820 You lied to me about your lunch hour. 1353 01:12:42,889 --> 01:12:45,881 Why? Because you were having lunch with Hannenfeld? 1354 01:12:45,959 --> 01:12:49,156 You've been lobbying against us all this time. 1355 01:12:49,229 --> 01:12:54,496 For God's sakes, enough. Thank you. Out, out, out. 1356 01:12:54,568 --> 01:12:57,435 Thank you. I'll be with you in a moment. 1357 01:13:00,507 --> 01:13:04,910 Yes. I lied to you. I killed Bruiser's Bill. 1358 01:13:04,978 --> 01:13:06,172 But you're an animal lover. 1359 01:13:06,246 --> 01:13:08,043 What about Dolly Madison, your beagle? 1360 01:13:08,115 --> 01:13:10,174 Not mine. I borrowed it. 1361 01:13:10,250 --> 01:13:13,083 And it reeked. Looked good on the sofa. 1362 01:13:13,153 --> 01:13:16,088 We've been through all of this before. 1363 01:13:16,156 --> 01:13:18,647 I traded your bill for the homeowners bill... 1364 01:13:18,725 --> 01:13:20,352 that Grace had committed me to. 1365 01:13:20,427 --> 01:13:23,123 That's a lie. Grace never wanted that. 1366 01:13:23,196 --> 01:13:26,495 You blocked this bill and I want to know why. 1367 01:13:26,566 --> 01:13:28,056 - Why? - Yes, why? 1368 01:13:28,135 --> 01:13:31,400 Why does anything happen in Washington? Survival. 1369 01:13:31,471 --> 01:13:34,531 You have no idea what it takes to get here and stay here. 1370 01:13:34,608 --> 01:13:36,132 The money it takes. 1371 01:13:36,209 --> 01:13:39,701 It just so happens that my chief financial contributor 1372 01:13:39,780 --> 01:13:43,147 purchased half share in a major cosmetics company... 1373 01:13:43,216 --> 01:13:46,879 and they want to continue testing on animals... 1374 01:13:46,953 --> 01:13:48,511 so much so that they're willing... 1375 01:13:48,588 --> 01:13:50,749 to bankroll my opponent in next year's elections... 1376 01:13:50,824 --> 01:13:54,089 if I did not kill your bill. 1377 01:13:54,161 --> 01:13:56,186 I trusted you. 1378 01:13:56,263 --> 01:13:58,390 I looked up to you. 1379 01:13:58,465 --> 01:14:02,697 I can't do anyone any good if I'm no longer here. 1380 01:14:02,769 --> 01:14:04,999 But you're not doing anybody any good. 1381 01:14:05,071 --> 01:14:09,098 Nobody in your district, not even yourself. 1382 01:14:09,176 --> 01:14:12,737 And I'm sorry, but I can't let that happen. 1383 01:14:16,716 --> 01:14:19,150 You can't prove why I changed my vote... 1384 01:14:19,219 --> 01:14:20,516 or how I blocked your bill. 1385 01:14:20,587 --> 01:14:22,680 It's your word against mine... 1386 01:14:22,756 --> 01:14:25,247 and I've spent 20 years building up my credibility... 1387 01:14:25,325 --> 01:14:27,122 in this town and back home. 1388 01:14:27,194 --> 01:14:29,059 I'm not going to the press. 1389 01:14:29,129 --> 01:14:32,064 I don't believe in blackmail. 1390 01:14:32,132 --> 01:14:34,191 But I do believe in the people... 1391 01:14:34,267 --> 01:14:36,633 and I'm going to take Bruiser's Bill to them. 1392 01:14:36,703 --> 01:14:38,967 The people believe what we tell them to believe. 1393 01:14:39,039 --> 01:14:40,472 It'll never work, Elle. 1394 01:14:40,540 --> 01:14:43,304 You can't get the people to care. 1395 01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:48,445 Watch me. 1396 01:15:06,700 --> 01:15:08,964 Ladies... 1397 01:15:09,035 --> 01:15:10,525 it's time. 1398 01:15:12,639 --> 01:15:14,300 You mean... 1399 01:15:14,374 --> 01:15:15,932 Are you sure? 1400 01:15:16,009 --> 01:15:19,740 As sure as I am that nobody looks good in paisley. 1401 01:15:19,813 --> 01:15:22,111 Are you with me? 1402 01:15:22,182 --> 01:15:26,016 I think so. Serena? 1403 01:15:28,455 --> 01:15:32,084 Yeah. Yes. We're with you, Elle. 1404 01:15:33,193 --> 01:15:34,626 Go for it. 1405 01:15:49,276 --> 01:15:50,743 Oh, my God! 1406 01:15:56,016 --> 01:15:58,416 Delta Nu president, Chapter 2-6... 1407 01:15:58,485 --> 01:16:02,717 I.D. Number 097435. Third from the top. 1408 01:16:02,789 --> 01:16:05,553 6234978, fifth from the top... 1409 01:16:05,625 --> 01:16:08,219 calling to activate phone tree number 255. 1410 01:16:08,295 --> 01:16:10,786 Call to activate phone tree 255! 1411 01:16:10,864 --> 01:16:12,297 This is not a fire drill. 1412 01:16:12,365 --> 01:16:14,799 I repeat, this is not a drill! 1413 01:16:18,305 --> 01:16:21,934 Sisters mobilized. E.T.A. 0800 hours. 1414 01:16:27,948 --> 01:16:29,779 - Hi, Heather, it's Buffy. - Hi, Kiki, it's Tiffani. 1415 01:16:29,849 --> 01:16:31,908 - Hi, Amber, it's Becky. - Hi, Audrey, it's Melanie. 1416 01:16:31,985 --> 01:16:33,850 - Hi, Jos, it's Breena. - Hi, Courtney, it's Veronica. 1417 01:16:33,920 --> 01:16:35,751 - Hi, Christy, it's Nat. - Hi, Binky, it's Nicki. 1418 01:16:35,822 --> 01:16:38,757 - Hi, Jill, it's Jojo. - Hi, Allison, it's Cookie. 1419 01:16:38,825 --> 01:16:40,190 You will never believe what happened. 1420 01:16:40,260 --> 01:16:41,522 Elle just called and she needs our help... 1421 01:16:41,594 --> 01:16:43,391 Suzy, we're taking it to Defcon One. 1422 01:16:43,463 --> 01:16:44,623 There's a crisis right now. 1423 01:16:44,698 --> 01:16:46,393 Where the president is. Exactly. 1424 01:16:46,466 --> 01:16:48,661 There's an emergency in Washington. 1425 01:16:48,735 --> 01:16:50,600 Road trip? 1426 01:16:54,741 --> 01:16:57,642 OK, see you in Washington. 1427 01:17:30,710 --> 01:17:33,873 Save Bruiser's mom! 1428 01:17:33,947 --> 01:17:35,574 Save Bruiser's mom! 1429 01:17:35,648 --> 01:17:37,206 Help me out, tell a friend. 1430 01:17:37,283 --> 01:17:40,775 Save Bruiser's mom! 1431 01:17:40,854 --> 01:17:42,253 I like your necklace. 1432 01:17:56,936 --> 01:18:00,133 Gay Dogs of America support Bruiser's Bill! 1433 01:18:00,206 --> 01:18:01,639 We're gonna tee it around 12:00-- 1434 01:18:01,708 --> 01:18:03,903 Miss, save me a good one. 1435 01:18:03,977 --> 01:18:06,172 Full-color big picture of Bruiser. 1436 01:18:06,246 --> 01:18:08,737 Emmett! What are you doing here? 1437 01:18:08,815 --> 01:18:10,715 Wedding research. 1438 01:18:10,784 --> 01:18:12,012 What? 1439 01:18:12,085 --> 01:18:15,816 Elle, your work is here now and it's important. 1440 01:18:15,889 --> 01:18:17,948 So I'm bringing the wedding to you. 1441 01:18:18,024 --> 01:18:20,993 First step, get groom to Washington. 1442 01:18:22,462 --> 01:18:24,089 But what about Fenway Park? 1443 01:18:25,698 --> 01:18:27,825 Look, I don't care where I marry you... 1444 01:18:27,901 --> 01:18:29,630 just as long as I do. 1445 01:18:29,702 --> 01:18:33,229 I do. I do. Feels good. 1446 01:18:34,307 --> 01:18:36,104 So what's Step Two? 1447 01:18:41,514 --> 01:18:43,812 That's Step Two. 1448 01:18:43,883 --> 01:18:47,375 Save Bruiser's mom! 1449 01:18:47,454 --> 01:18:51,254 Save Bruiser's mom! 1450 01:18:51,324 --> 01:18:54,987 Save Bruiser's mom! 1451 01:18:55,061 --> 01:18:57,291 Save Bruiser's mom! 1452 01:19:16,816 --> 01:19:19,512 Colorado. Photo ops after. 1453 01:19:19,586 --> 01:19:21,816 Grace, are you all right? 1454 01:19:21,888 --> 01:19:25,881 Save Bruiser's mom! 1455 01:19:25,959 --> 01:19:29,690 Save Bruiser's mom! 1456 01:19:29,762 --> 01:19:31,957 Save Bruiser's mom! 1457 01:19:52,018 --> 01:19:54,077 Rutherford. Check. 1458 01:19:54,154 --> 01:19:55,644 Porter. Check. 1459 01:19:55,722 --> 01:19:57,349 Hutchins. Check. 1460 01:19:59,259 --> 01:20:01,250 Uh-oh. That's it. 1461 01:20:01,327 --> 01:20:03,318 It's not enough. 1462 01:20:03,396 --> 01:20:04,556 Tomorrow's a wash. 1463 01:20:04,631 --> 01:20:06,223 It's National Education Day. 1464 01:20:07,867 --> 01:20:10,335 Got a meeting of both Houses, ceremonial speeches-- 1465 01:20:10,403 --> 01:20:13,133 there's no time for politicking. 1466 01:20:13,206 --> 01:20:15,333 Sorry, Elle, we tried. 1467 01:20:15,408 --> 01:20:17,376 We have to keep trying. 1468 01:20:17,443 --> 01:20:18,671 Hello? 1469 01:20:18,745 --> 01:20:21,646 You want those last fifteen signatures? 1470 01:20:21,714 --> 01:20:22,874 Grace? 1471 01:20:22,949 --> 01:20:24,917 It'll take something extraordinary. 1472 01:20:24,984 --> 01:20:26,474 You'll have to pull something... 1473 01:20:26,553 --> 01:20:28,748 no regular citizen would ever dream of. 1474 01:20:28,821 --> 01:20:31,619 Fine, but how am I going to do that? 1475 01:20:31,691 --> 01:20:33,352 You're going to address the entire Congress... 1476 01:20:33,426 --> 01:20:35,291 and I know just the person to make it happen. 1477 01:20:35,361 --> 01:20:38,091 Who? Is that even possible? 1478 01:20:38,164 --> 01:20:42,100 Look, Elle, you may be above blackmail... 1479 01:20:42,168 --> 01:20:43,635 but I'm not. 1480 01:20:51,578 --> 01:20:53,705 Grace, why are you helping me? 1481 01:20:53,780 --> 01:20:56,772 Because once upon a time I loved politics... 1482 01:20:56,849 --> 01:20:58,817 and I want to do some good. 1483 01:20:59,819 --> 01:21:02,447 What has that got to do with me? 1484 01:21:02,522 --> 01:21:05,855 Look, those silly girls that I told you about... 1485 01:21:05,925 --> 01:21:08,393 with the blisters on their feet? 1486 01:21:08,461 --> 01:21:11,919 I was one of them. 1487 01:21:13,533 --> 01:21:16,764 We have celebrated today elementary education... 1488 01:21:16,836 --> 01:21:20,169 secondary and higher education... 1489 01:21:20,240 --> 01:21:24,438 and now... 1490 01:21:24,510 --> 01:21:26,535 Don't even think about it. 1491 01:21:26,613 --> 01:21:30,913 And now... 1492 01:21:30,984 --> 01:21:34,476 This is a little unconventional. 1493 01:21:34,554 --> 01:21:36,954 With the Speaker's... 1494 01:21:37,023 --> 01:21:40,424 and the president of the Senate's permission... 1495 01:21:40,493 --> 01:21:44,156 please indulge me as I share the floor... 1496 01:21:44,230 --> 01:21:46,289 with my constituent... 1497 01:21:46,366 --> 01:21:48,163 who in the spirit of education... 1498 01:21:48,234 --> 01:21:52,364 would like to educate us all on a vital issue... 1499 01:21:52,438 --> 01:21:54,303 facing us today. 1500 01:21:54,374 --> 01:21:57,707 Ladies and gentlemen of both Houses... 1501 01:21:57,777 --> 01:22:02,476 I give you Ms. Elle Woods. 1502 01:22:36,082 --> 01:22:37,982 It's all yours. 1503 01:22:42,422 --> 01:22:44,390 Thank you, Congresswoman. 1504 01:22:46,025 --> 01:22:48,425 Hello, everyone, my name is Elle Woods... 1505 01:22:48,494 --> 01:22:51,292 and I'm here to speak to you today... 1506 01:22:51,364 --> 01:22:55,061 about a piece of legislation called Bruiser's Bill. 1507 01:23:05,578 --> 01:23:08,138 But you know... 1508 01:23:08,214 --> 01:23:11,445 today is supposed to be about education. 1509 01:23:11,517 --> 01:23:15,954 So instead, I want to tell you about the education... 1510 01:23:16,022 --> 01:23:18,149 you all have given me over the past three months. 1511 01:23:18,224 --> 01:23:20,124 What about Bruiser's Bill? We still need 15 signatures. 1512 01:23:20,193 --> 01:23:21,421 She's blowing it. 1513 01:23:21,494 --> 01:23:24,486 I came to Washington to help my dog Bruiser... 1514 01:23:24,564 --> 01:23:25,997 and somewhere along the way... 1515 01:23:26,065 --> 01:23:29,967 I learned a really unexpected lesson. 1516 01:23:31,270 --> 01:23:34,535 I know what you're thinking-- Who is this girl? 1517 01:23:34,607 --> 01:23:37,872 And what could this simple, small-town girl from Bel Air... 1518 01:23:37,944 --> 01:23:41,072 have to say to all of us? I'll tell you. 1519 01:23:41,147 --> 01:23:45,413 It's about something that's bigger than me... 1520 01:23:45,485 --> 01:23:48,579 or any single act of legislation. 1521 01:23:48,654 --> 01:23:51,714 This is about a matter that should be at... 1522 01:23:51,791 --> 01:23:55,488 the highest importance to every American-- 1523 01:23:56,629 --> 01:23:59,029 My hair. 1524 01:24:01,534 --> 01:24:02,967 There's this salon in Beverly Hills. 1525 01:24:03,035 --> 01:24:06,835 It's really fancy and beautiful. 1526 01:24:06,906 --> 01:24:08,840 It's impossible to get an appointment. 1527 01:24:08,908 --> 01:24:11,240 Unless you're Julia Roberts or from "Friends"... 1528 01:24:11,310 --> 01:24:12,971 you can just forget it. 1529 01:24:13,045 --> 01:24:16,845 But one day, they called me. They had an opening. 1530 01:24:16,916 --> 01:24:19,180 So I was going to finally get the chance... 1531 01:24:19,252 --> 01:24:21,379 to sit in one of those sacred beauty chairs. 1532 01:24:21,454 --> 01:24:23,445 I was so excited. 1533 01:24:23,523 --> 01:24:26,651 Then the colorist... 1534 01:24:26,726 --> 01:24:30,025 gave me Brassy Brigitte instead of Harlow Honey. 1535 01:24:30,096 --> 01:24:34,226 The shampoo girl washed my hair with spiral perm solution... 1536 01:24:34,300 --> 01:24:37,292 instead of color-intensive moisturizing shampoo. 1537 01:24:37,370 --> 01:24:40,567 Finally, the stylist... 1538 01:24:40,640 --> 01:24:44,838 gave me a bob... with bangs. 1539 01:24:45,878 --> 01:24:49,405 Suffice to say, it was just wrong. 1540 01:24:49,482 --> 01:24:54,078 All wrong. For me, you know? 1541 01:24:54,153 --> 01:24:55,518 First I was angry. 1542 01:24:55,588 --> 01:24:59,046 And then I realized my anger was completely misdirected. 1543 01:24:59,125 --> 01:25:01,184 This wasn't the salon's fault. 1544 01:25:01,260 --> 01:25:03,956 I had sat there and witnessed this injustice... 1545 01:25:04,030 --> 01:25:05,725 and had let it happen. 1546 01:25:05,798 --> 01:25:10,565 I didn't get involved in the process. 1547 01:25:10,636 --> 01:25:14,367 I forgot to use my voice. 1548 01:25:14,440 --> 01:25:18,536 I forgot to believe in myself. 1549 01:25:18,611 --> 01:25:20,875 But now I know better. 1550 01:25:20,947 --> 01:25:27,011 I know that one honest voice can be louder than a crowd. 1551 01:25:27,086 --> 01:25:31,921 I know that if we lose our voice... 1552 01:25:31,991 --> 01:25:35,722 or if we let those who speak on our behalf... 1553 01:25:35,795 --> 01:25:38,423 compromise our voice... 1554 01:25:38,498 --> 01:25:42,662 then, this country... 1555 01:25:42,735 --> 01:25:45,499 this country is in for a really bad haircut. 1556 01:25:50,142 --> 01:25:52,474 So speak up, America. 1557 01:25:52,545 --> 01:25:54,103 Speak up! 1558 01:25:54,180 --> 01:25:57,581 Speak up for the home of the brave. 1559 01:25:57,650 --> 01:26:01,279 Speak up for the land of the free gift with purchase. 1560 01:26:01,354 --> 01:26:05,916 Speak up, America. Speak up! 1561 01:26:08,761 --> 01:26:10,695 And remember... 1562 01:26:10,763 --> 01:26:12,856 you are beautiful. 1563 01:26:16,769 --> 01:26:18,361 Thank you. 1564 01:26:32,184 --> 01:26:33,811 Thank you. 1565 01:26:33,886 --> 01:26:36,446 Everyone, it's time I spoke up. 1566 01:26:36,522 --> 01:26:38,820 I think Timothy's smoking! 1567 01:26:43,796 --> 01:26:46,321 I'm married. 1568 01:26:48,234 --> 01:26:49,531 Thank you. 1569 01:27:40,419 --> 01:27:44,150 You didn't! Thank you! 1570 01:27:44,223 --> 01:27:45,713 Thank you! 1571 01:27:48,761 --> 01:27:49,887 Thank you. 1572 01:27:49,962 --> 01:27:53,193 What is this? Oh, my God! 1573 01:27:54,467 --> 01:27:56,059 That's so perfect! 1574 01:28:22,094 --> 01:28:24,927 This week, Congresswoman Libby Hauser... 1575 01:28:24,997 --> 01:28:27,363 finished decorating her house... 1576 01:28:27,433 --> 01:28:29,367 sent her son off to college... 1577 01:28:29,435 --> 01:28:31,494 and negotiated a settlement... 1578 01:28:31,570 --> 01:28:33,800 between the San Antonio labor unions... 1579 01:28:33,873 --> 01:28:36,103 and the Department of Sanitation. 1580 01:28:36,175 --> 01:28:38,803 Snaps for Congresswoman Hauser! 1581 01:29:26,225 --> 01:29:28,819 Now that we're married, where do you want to live? 1582 01:29:28,894 --> 01:29:31,522 Beverly Hills? Boston? Washington? 1583 01:29:31,597 --> 01:29:34,828 - I know just the place. - Yeah? 1584 01:29:40,000 --> 01:30:10,000 Subtitled Ripped by GrupoUtopia http://grupoutopia.cjb.net 118284