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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,473 --> 00:00:02,174 Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 2 00:00:02,896 --> 00:00:04,830 Well, there was this girl. 3 00:00:05,198 --> 00:00:07,132 What did you do? 4 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:08,133 Nothing. 5 00:00:08,201 --> 00:00:11,102 Really, it was just kissing. 6 00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:15,940 All right. 7 00:00:16,008 --> 00:00:18,243 So, we're still getting married? 8 00:00:20,112 --> 00:00:21,279 Yes. 9 00:00:22,581 --> 00:00:24,549 Because we love each other. 10 00:00:24,616 --> 00:00:26,217 Yes. 11 00:00:26,285 --> 00:00:29,654 And it's the happiest day of our life. 12 00:00:29,722 --> 00:00:31,022 Don't push it. 13 00:00:33,759 --> 00:00:35,927 I need some time to take a step back 14 00:00:35,995 --> 00:00:39,164 and reevaluate our situation. 15 00:00:40,199 --> 00:00:41,800 Oh. 16 00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,902 Bye, Sheldon. 17 00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,339 Well, Gollum... 18 00:00:50,475 --> 00:00:53,677 ...you're an expert on rings. 19 00:00:53,745 --> 00:00:56,046 What do I do with this one? 20 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,251 So, what package are you thinking? 21 00:01:01,319 --> 00:01:03,253 Mm, this one comes with music and flowers. 22 00:01:03,321 --> 00:01:06,690 Oh, they even stream the whole thing live on the Internet. 23 00:01:06,758 --> 00:01:08,125 Why would we want that? 24 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,527 'Cause there's a lot of gorgeous blondes out there 25 00:01:10,595 --> 00:01:13,296 who don't believe they can land a short, nearsighted scientist. 26 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:15,832 Let's give them hope. 27 00:01:15,899 --> 00:01:17,466 Whatever. Put us on the Internet. 28 00:01:17,534 --> 00:01:20,369 I've always wanted a wedding with a comment section. 29 00:01:20,437 --> 00:01:24,673 I-If you're not into this, we can do it another time. 30 00:01:24,742 --> 00:01:26,042 No. No, I want to. 31 00:01:26,110 --> 00:01:28,211 Look, we've put this off long enough. 32 00:01:28,278 --> 00:01:29,712 Let's do it. Aw. 33 00:01:29,780 --> 00:01:32,915 That's exactly what you said the first time we slept together. 34 00:01:34,484 --> 00:01:36,318 Oh, excuse me. 35 00:01:36,386 --> 00:01:37,553 Sheldon. 36 00:01:37,621 --> 00:01:38,754 Hey. 37 00:01:38,821 --> 00:01:40,688 Leonard, have you gotten married yet? 38 00:01:40,757 --> 00:01:41,857 No. Why? 39 00:01:41,924 --> 00:01:43,591 Good. Don't do it! Why not? 40 00:01:43,659 --> 00:01:45,927 Some important new information has come to light. 41 00:01:45,995 --> 00:01:48,930 Women are the worst. 42 00:01:48,998 --> 00:01:50,832 I thought it was paper cuts, but I was wrong. 43 00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:53,701 No piece of paper ever cut me this deep. 44 00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:55,470 What happened now? 45 00:01:55,537 --> 00:01:58,907 Amy has ended our relationship. 46 00:01:58,975 --> 00:02:00,242 Oh, no. Seriously? 47 00:02:00,309 --> 00:02:01,009 What's going on? 48 00:02:01,077 --> 00:02:02,510 Amy broke up with Sheldon. 49 00:02:02,578 --> 00:02:03,744 She did? 50 00:02:03,812 --> 00:02:06,213 Is Penny crying? 51 00:02:06,281 --> 00:02:07,281 No. 52 00:02:07,315 --> 00:02:08,082 No, of course not. 53 00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:10,751 They thrive on our suffering. 54 00:02:10,819 --> 00:02:12,552 Buddy, I-I'm so sorry. 55 00:02:12,620 --> 00:02:14,554 Is there anything I can do? 56 00:02:14,622 --> 00:02:15,990 Yes. If I ever talk about 57 00:02:16,057 --> 00:02:18,259 going out with a girl again, roll your eyes at me 58 00:02:18,326 --> 00:02:21,395 like I do to you when you say dumb things. 59 00:02:21,462 --> 00:02:22,897 Sheldon, uh, o-okay, just because 60 00:02:22,964 --> 00:02:24,364 you're going through this with Amy 61 00:02:24,432 --> 00:02:26,400 doesn't mean that all women are bad. 62 00:02:26,467 --> 00:02:28,769 Whatever. 63 00:02:28,836 --> 00:02:30,136 Hey, I just heard 64 00:02:30,204 --> 00:02:31,772 about you and Sheldon. Are you okay? 65 00:02:31,839 --> 00:02:32,939 Not really. 66 00:02:33,007 --> 00:02:34,441 Can you come over? 67 00:02:34,509 --> 00:02:36,042 Uh, actually I'm in Vegas. 68 00:02:36,110 --> 00:02:38,244 Leonard and I are about to get married. 69 00:02:38,313 --> 00:02:39,546 Hold on. 70 00:02:39,614 --> 00:02:42,015 You're getting married and you didn't invite me? 71 00:02:42,082 --> 00:02:44,651 Well, it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing. 72 00:02:44,719 --> 00:02:46,052 Wow. 73 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:49,856 Hope I can catch the bouquet from here. 74 00:02:49,924 --> 00:02:51,725 Amy, don't be like that. 75 00:02:51,793 --> 00:02:53,727 Why did I just hear Amy's name? 76 00:02:53,795 --> 00:02:54,894 Penny's on the phone with her. 77 00:02:54,962 --> 00:02:56,095 Did she say anything about me? 78 00:02:56,163 --> 00:02:57,630 Never mind. I don't care. 79 00:02:57,698 --> 00:02:59,498 Well, if you care, you can find out and tell me. 80 00:02:59,566 --> 00:03:02,635 Just don't be shocked when you find out that I don't care. 81 00:03:02,703 --> 00:03:03,769 Okay, will you relax? 82 00:03:03,838 --> 00:03:05,939 You're not missing anything special. 83 00:03:06,807 --> 00:03:08,574 Hey. 84 00:03:08,642 --> 00:03:09,642 She's upset. 85 00:03:09,676 --> 00:03:11,077 Look, it's gonna be a great wedding. 86 00:03:11,145 --> 00:03:13,947 Look at you in your little suit. 87 00:03:14,014 --> 00:03:15,715 Amy's upset? Is it about me? 88 00:03:15,782 --> 00:03:17,250 No, I think it's because we're eloping. 89 00:03:17,318 --> 00:03:19,552 Your marriage is causing her pain? 90 00:03:19,619 --> 00:03:20,853 Yeah, great, I take it back. 91 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:23,356 Go ahead and do it. Yay for love! 92 00:03:23,423 --> 00:03:26,892 * Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state * 93 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,262 * Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! * 94 00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:31,831 * The Earth began to cool 95 00:03:31,898 --> 00:03:34,567 * The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools * 96 00:03:34,634 --> 00:03:37,202 * We built the Wall * We built the pyramids * 97 00:03:37,270 --> 00:03:39,937 * Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery * 98 00:03:40,005 --> 00:03:41,840 * That all started with a big bang * 99 00:03:41,907 --> 00:03:43,308 * Bang! * 100 00:03:43,309 --> 00:03:47,309 * The Big Bang Theory 9x01 * The Matrimonial Momentum Original Air Date on September 2 101 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:53,810 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 102 00:03:53,913 --> 00:03:56,215 Hello. Oh! 103 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,287 What are you doing here? 104 00:03:58,355 --> 00:04:01,657 When last we spoke, you said you needed time. 105 00:04:01,725 --> 00:04:05,093 Well, it's only been 11 hours. 106 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,730 The Lord of the Rings trilogy was nearly 11 hours. 107 00:04:07,797 --> 00:04:10,266 I made you watch that, you said it was an eternity. 108 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:14,536 Sheldon, when I'm ready to talk, I'll let you know. 109 00:04:14,604 --> 00:04:16,004 Very well. 110 00:04:16,072 --> 00:04:17,839 You seem to be headed somewhere. 111 00:04:17,907 --> 00:04:19,575 May I walk with you? 112 00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:21,644 Sure. 113 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,148 Boy, I'm glad we're going out again. 114 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:29,385 We're not back together. 115 00:04:29,452 --> 00:04:30,452 Why? 116 00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:31,620 Is there someone else? 117 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:32,988 Just couldn't wait for that first notch 118 00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,689 on your bedpost, could you? 119 00:04:34,757 --> 00:04:36,691 If you must know, 120 00:04:36,759 --> 00:04:38,193 I'm going to Howard and Bernadette's 121 00:04:38,261 --> 00:04:39,627 to watch the wedding. 122 00:04:39,695 --> 00:04:40,728 And who's this guy you're taking? 123 00:04:40,797 --> 00:04:41,830 There's no guy! 124 00:04:41,898 --> 00:04:43,331 Oh, you're going to a wedding alone? 125 00:04:43,399 --> 00:04:45,100 That's sad. 126 00:04:45,168 --> 00:04:46,334 I'm not gonna be alone. 127 00:04:46,402 --> 00:04:47,669 I'll be with my friends. 128 00:04:47,736 --> 00:04:48,870 Your friends? 129 00:04:48,938 --> 00:04:50,471 Well, I think you mean my friends. 130 00:04:50,539 --> 00:04:52,207 And why wasn't I invited to this? 131 00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:54,342 Maybe because the two of us being there 132 00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:56,611 would make them feel awkward. 133 00:04:56,679 --> 00:04:58,513 We make everyone feel awkward. 134 00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:00,849 That's our thing! 135 00:05:01,984 --> 00:05:03,351 They're running a little behind. 136 00:05:03,419 --> 00:05:04,952 Should be pretty soon. Okay. 137 00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:07,622 Hey, if you're hungry, there's a breakfast buffet 138 00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:09,824 at the strip club next door. 139 00:05:09,891 --> 00:05:14,128 Thanks, but I don't like glitter on my scrambled eggs. 140 00:05:14,196 --> 00:05:18,199 I don't think the strippers prepare the meal, but okay. 141 00:05:19,601 --> 00:05:22,837 Look, it-it's not how I pictured it either, 142 00:05:22,904 --> 00:05:24,472 but I'm still glad we're doing it. 143 00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:26,374 Me, too. You sure? 144 00:05:26,442 --> 00:05:27,842 Yes. And you promise 145 00:05:27,909 --> 00:05:29,844 you're okay with everything from the car? 146 00:05:29,911 --> 00:05:31,611 Oh, my God, would you stop bringing it up? 147 00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:33,513 You're right. I'm sorry. 148 00:05:33,581 --> 00:05:35,015 We have the rest of our lives 149 00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:38,319 to dredge stuff up from the past and fight about it. 150 00:05:39,587 --> 00:05:40,687 So what do you think? 151 00:05:40,755 --> 00:05:42,589 Should we run next door and grab a bite? 152 00:05:42,657 --> 00:05:44,124 What if they call our names? 153 00:05:44,192 --> 00:05:47,694 Oh, don't worry. They gave me this vibrating coaster. 154 00:05:47,762 --> 00:05:51,130 Oh, and the fairy tale continues. 155 00:05:53,601 --> 00:05:55,569 Thank you for doing this. 156 00:05:55,636 --> 00:05:56,737 Our pleasure. 157 00:05:56,804 --> 00:05:58,004 You feeling okay? 158 00:05:58,072 --> 00:06:00,073 We were together for so long, 159 00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:02,509 I honestly don't know what I'm feeling. 160 00:06:02,577 --> 00:06:04,644 Well, that's understandable. 161 00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:07,180 You forgot. It's called "happy." 162 00:06:07,248 --> 00:06:08,615 Howard. 163 00:06:08,683 --> 00:06:09,716 I'm not saying anything bad. 164 00:06:09,784 --> 00:06:11,885 Just that she was in love with her captor 165 00:06:11,952 --> 00:06:15,221 and somehow managed to escape from his dark and crazy dungeon. 166 00:06:16,891 --> 00:06:18,057 I know what you're going through. 167 00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:20,526 My-my last breakup was pretty tough. 168 00:06:20,594 --> 00:06:22,795 Oh. What was her name? 169 00:06:22,863 --> 00:06:23,963 Hey, it's a true story. 170 00:06:24,031 --> 00:06:26,065 I don't need the third degree. 171 00:06:31,038 --> 00:06:33,839 For God's sake, Sheldon, what are you doing? 172 00:06:33,908 --> 00:06:35,440 I didn't want to come in. 173 00:06:35,508 --> 00:06:38,610 I was told it would make everyone feel uncomfortable. 174 00:06:39,379 --> 00:06:40,578 So I'll just stay out here 175 00:06:40,646 --> 00:06:42,948 and pretend that I don't have to go to the bathroom. 176 00:06:46,152 --> 00:06:47,886 Howard, do something. 177 00:06:47,954 --> 00:06:49,988 I'm on it. 178 00:06:56,963 --> 00:07:00,631 Sheldon, you being here might not be making things better. 179 00:07:00,698 --> 00:07:02,599 I see. 180 00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:05,202 And is that why everybody was invited but me? 181 00:07:05,270 --> 00:07:07,204 They didn't invite everybody but you. 182 00:07:07,272 --> 00:07:08,772 Bernadette invited me, 183 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,074 and Stuart lives here. 184 00:07:10,142 --> 00:07:12,843 Who wants hot cinnamon rolls? 185 00:07:15,747 --> 00:07:18,649 So, when you hear the music, that's your cue. 186 00:07:18,716 --> 00:07:19,951 Any questions? 187 00:07:20,018 --> 00:07:21,919 Oh, the package that we paid for 188 00:07:21,986 --> 00:07:24,520 said the aisle was supposed to be strewn with rose petals. 189 00:07:24,588 --> 00:07:25,888 Where are the rose petals?! 190 00:07:25,957 --> 00:07:27,991 We're out! You know what? 191 00:07:28,059 --> 00:07:29,259 It's fine. 192 00:07:29,327 --> 00:07:31,727 We can use the potpourri from the bathroom! 193 00:07:31,795 --> 00:07:33,430 Really, we're good. 194 00:07:33,497 --> 00:07:35,065 Yup, just want to get married. 195 00:07:35,132 --> 00:07:36,266 Yeah. Great. 196 00:07:36,334 --> 00:07:38,301 I'll see you two up there. 197 00:07:40,804 --> 00:07:43,306 This is it. I know. 198 00:07:43,374 --> 00:07:46,108 I love you. 199 00:07:46,176 --> 00:07:48,077 I love you, too. 200 00:07:48,144 --> 00:07:50,580 Was that a yes or no on the potpourri?! 201 00:07:50,647 --> 00:07:52,715 No, thank you! We're good! 202 00:07:55,853 --> 00:07:57,386 Raj, you're probably wondering 203 00:07:57,454 --> 00:08:00,957 why Amy and I aren't showing any affection to one another. 204 00:08:01,024 --> 00:08:03,192 Didn't even crack the top ten. 205 00:08:05,261 --> 00:08:06,295 Well, you should know 206 00:08:06,363 --> 00:08:07,930 that she recently broke up with me. 207 00:08:07,998 --> 00:08:10,799 I said I needed time to think. 208 00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:13,135 I'm sure you guys will figure something out. 209 00:08:13,203 --> 00:08:15,904 You hear that? Raj is devastated. 210 00:08:15,972 --> 00:08:18,673 Sheldon, shh. The wedding's starting. 211 00:08:18,741 --> 00:08:20,309 I see what's happening. 212 00:08:20,377 --> 00:08:21,643 Sides are forming. 213 00:08:21,711 --> 00:08:23,812 Well, if Bernadette's on Amy's team, I pick Howard. 214 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:24,913 I'm not taking sides. 215 00:08:24,981 --> 00:08:26,382 Fine, I guess I'm stuck with Raj. 216 00:08:26,449 --> 00:08:27,716 Really? 217 00:08:27,783 --> 00:08:30,519 At least you got picked. 218 00:08:32,255 --> 00:08:33,322 Before I go any further, 219 00:08:33,390 --> 00:08:35,289 have either of you prepared your own vows? 220 00:08:35,357 --> 00:08:36,790 Yes. No. 221 00:08:37,493 --> 00:08:39,527 You wrote vows? 222 00:08:39,594 --> 00:08:40,594 Yeah. 223 00:08:40,629 --> 00:08:42,330 Well, I don't have any. 224 00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:45,066 You're kind of making me look bad. 225 00:08:45,134 --> 00:08:47,601 It's okay. I-I don't have to say them. 226 00:08:47,669 --> 00:08:48,969 No, no, no, go ahead. 227 00:08:49,038 --> 00:08:52,940 I'll come up with something mushy, you'll cry, we got this. 228 00:08:53,008 --> 00:08:55,743 "Penny, we are made of particles 229 00:08:55,810 --> 00:08:58,111 "that have existed since the moment the universe began. 230 00:08:58,179 --> 00:09:00,947 "I like to think those atoms traveled 231 00:09:01,015 --> 00:09:04,017 "14 billion years through time and space to create us, 232 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:08,021 so that we could be together and make each other whole." 233 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,524 Wow. 234 00:09:11,526 --> 00:09:13,260 Penny? 235 00:09:13,327 --> 00:09:17,030 Right. Um... okay. 236 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:22,936 Leonard, I mean, you're not only the love of my life. 237 00:09:23,003 --> 00:09:25,204 I mean, you're my best friend, and... 238 00:09:27,307 --> 00:09:30,242 ...you've got a friend in me. 239 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,948 You got troubles. 240 00:09:35,015 --> 00:09:36,816 I got 'em, too. 241 00:09:38,251 --> 00:09:41,988 There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. 242 00:09:42,056 --> 00:09:45,558 We stick together, and we can see it through, 243 00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:48,927 'cause... you've got a friend in me. 244 00:09:50,930 --> 00:09:52,731 Is that the song from Toy Story? 245 00:09:52,799 --> 00:09:53,799 He loves that movie. 246 00:09:53,866 --> 00:09:55,301 I do. 247 00:09:57,571 --> 00:10:00,272 Aw, that was beautiful. Yeah. 248 00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:02,208 I mean, not like our wedding beautiful. 249 00:10:02,275 --> 00:10:04,910 No, we totally won. 250 00:10:04,978 --> 00:10:07,778 Amy, I don't understand, are we broken up or not? 251 00:10:07,846 --> 00:10:09,380 It's like you can't make up your mind. 252 00:10:09,448 --> 00:10:12,450 It's because you're not giving me any space to think. 253 00:10:12,518 --> 00:10:13,751 Well, you should think fast, 254 00:10:13,819 --> 00:10:16,221 because men can sire offspring their entire lives, 255 00:10:16,288 --> 00:10:19,357 but those eggs you're toting around have a sell-by date. 256 00:10:23,129 --> 00:10:25,896 You know what, Sheldon, you've made this really easy. 257 00:10:25,964 --> 00:10:29,267 You're immature, you're selfish, you just insulted me to my face. 258 00:10:29,335 --> 00:10:31,636 I don't need any more time to think. We're broken up. 259 00:10:31,703 --> 00:10:32,870 Amy... 260 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,741 Will someone take me home? 261 00:10:36,808 --> 00:10:37,842 Yeah. Come on, I'll give you a ride. 262 00:10:37,909 --> 00:10:40,611 ...symbolizes your eternal love. 263 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:44,248 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 264 00:10:46,217 --> 00:10:47,051 We did it! 265 00:10:47,119 --> 00:10:50,755 I'm so glad you guys could watch! 266 00:10:50,822 --> 00:10:54,324 We'll say it was beautiful in the comment section. 267 00:11:04,923 --> 00:11:06,656 No, no, no. Hang on. 268 00:11:06,724 --> 00:11:09,926 I believe I'm supposed to carry you across the threshold. 269 00:11:09,994 --> 00:11:12,461 Can you? 270 00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:14,230 Who do you think carries Sheldon to bed 271 00:11:14,297 --> 00:11:16,765 when he falls asleep in front of the TV? 272 00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:18,567 Okay, let's do it. 273 00:11:27,577 --> 00:11:29,778 You gonna make it? I'm okay! 274 00:11:32,449 --> 00:11:34,550 Nicely done! 275 00:11:34,617 --> 00:11:35,951 Thank you. 276 00:11:36,019 --> 00:11:37,085 Finally, there's a Mrs. Hofstadter 277 00:11:37,153 --> 00:11:39,654 who isn't disappointed in me. 278 00:11:39,721 --> 00:11:41,722 Well, the night is still young. 279 00:11:53,802 --> 00:11:55,603 Everything all right? 280 00:11:56,638 --> 00:11:58,906 Yeah. I guess. 281 00:11:58,974 --> 00:12:01,709 Just tell me. 282 00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:03,844 It's just, when we were kissing, 283 00:12:03,912 --> 00:12:06,280 I couldn't help but picture you with that other girl. 284 00:12:06,347 --> 00:12:07,281 Oh, no. 285 00:12:07,348 --> 00:12:08,583 No, come on. 286 00:12:08,650 --> 00:12:09,884 I have a friend in you. 287 00:12:09,952 --> 00:12:12,119 You said so. 288 00:12:12,187 --> 00:12:13,854 You're right. Just forget it. 289 00:12:13,922 --> 00:12:15,890 Yeah. 290 00:12:19,661 --> 00:12:22,096 Okay, listen. Uh... 291 00:12:22,163 --> 00:12:25,399 If you're imagining that it was sexy, it wasn't. 292 00:12:25,467 --> 00:12:28,235 We-we were both drunk, and she smelled like an ashtray. 293 00:12:28,303 --> 00:12:31,871 The boat was moving a lot, so I chipped her tooth. 294 00:12:31,939 --> 00:12:33,974 Did you feel guilty? 295 00:12:34,041 --> 00:12:36,477 No, she had dental insurance. 296 00:12:36,544 --> 00:12:40,714 Did you feel guilty after kissing her? 297 00:12:40,781 --> 00:12:43,883 Yes. I felt guilty as soon as it happened. 298 00:12:43,951 --> 00:12:47,020 I feel guilty every time I see her. 299 00:12:47,088 --> 00:12:49,889 What do you mean, every time you see her? 300 00:12:49,957 --> 00:12:51,891 What... do I mean? 301 00:12:51,959 --> 00:12:54,527 Boy, that's a toughie. 302 00:12:54,595 --> 00:12:57,130 You still see her? 303 00:12:57,197 --> 00:12:59,132 Well, no, not socially. 304 00:12:59,199 --> 00:13:00,366 But, you know, just at work. 305 00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:02,869 You work with her?! 306 00:13:02,937 --> 00:13:04,437 How could you not tell me that?! 307 00:13:04,505 --> 00:13:06,973 I wanted to tell you in the car, but you told me to stop talking! 308 00:13:07,041 --> 00:13:08,608 Oh, okay. So you're saying this is my fault? 309 00:13:08,676 --> 00:13:10,110 No, of course not. 310 00:13:10,177 --> 00:13:11,745 Okay, l-look, 311 00:13:11,812 --> 00:13:13,146 instead of fighting, 312 00:13:13,213 --> 00:13:15,715 why don't we dim the lights, 313 00:13:15,783 --> 00:13:19,618 um, get naked and make a baby? 314 00:13:26,126 --> 00:13:28,994 I was trying to lighten the mood. 315 00:13:29,062 --> 00:13:32,330 It's not easy. You try it. 316 00:13:33,599 --> 00:13:34,667 Hello, Mother. 317 00:13:34,734 --> 00:13:36,935 Shelly! How's my baby doing? 318 00:13:37,003 --> 00:13:38,403 I just wanted to let you know 319 00:13:38,471 --> 00:13:41,406 that you can remove Amy from your nightly prayers. 320 00:13:41,474 --> 00:13:43,208 Unless you're open to praying for 321 00:13:43,276 --> 00:13:45,510 a beehive to fall on her head. 322 00:13:45,578 --> 00:13:47,712 Oh, what's going on? 323 00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:49,013 She broke up with me. 324 00:13:49,081 --> 00:13:50,481 Oh, Shelly. 325 00:13:50,549 --> 00:13:51,282 No, I'll be okay. 326 00:13:51,349 --> 00:13:53,217 But I think that I'd like 327 00:13:53,285 --> 00:13:55,953 to send the ring back to you. 328 00:13:56,021 --> 00:13:57,121 Well, let's not be hasty. 329 00:13:57,189 --> 00:13:58,923 Are you sure it's over for good? 330 00:13:58,991 --> 00:14:01,125 It's over for me. I'm done with women. 331 00:14:01,193 --> 00:14:03,061 Like when I swore off Pop Rocks. 332 00:14:03,128 --> 00:14:06,330 They both hurt you on purpose. 333 00:14:06,398 --> 00:14:08,399 You want to tell me what happened? 334 00:14:08,466 --> 00:14:10,701 Are you going to say it's all part of God's plan? 335 00:14:10,768 --> 00:14:11,601 Good chance. 336 00:14:11,669 --> 00:14:13,804 Then no, thank you. 337 00:14:13,871 --> 00:14:15,605 Well, honey, don't send it back yet. 338 00:14:15,673 --> 00:14:17,833 Your sister's married, and I'm not letting your brother 339 00:14:17,875 --> 00:14:21,511 give my grandmother's ring to that whore he's dating. 340 00:14:21,579 --> 00:14:25,348 Wasn't Mary Magdalene a woman of ill repute? 341 00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:28,051 When your idiot brother redeems mankind, 342 00:14:28,119 --> 00:14:31,221 he can date whoever he wants. 343 00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:35,726 I know it hurts now, but it's gonna get better. 344 00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:36,726 Yeah. 345 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,094 Everything's gonna be okay. 346 00:14:38,161 --> 00:14:40,996 You've got so much to offer. 347 00:14:41,064 --> 00:14:42,264 Thank you. 348 00:14:42,332 --> 00:14:44,600 Any man would be lucky to have you. 349 00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:46,202 That's true. 350 00:14:46,269 --> 00:14:48,570 I just hope I did the right thing. 351 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:49,972 I'm sure you did. 352 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,142 Maybe that's the problem... you always do the right thing. 353 00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:56,612 Maybe it's time to do the wrong thing. 354 00:15:03,285 --> 00:15:06,420 Like you're doing right now? 355 00:15:08,323 --> 00:15:10,925 Exactly. 356 00:15:14,329 --> 00:15:16,631 I asked you over and over if you were okay. 357 00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:18,938 Why would you go through with the wedding if you weren't? 358 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:22,036 I thought I was okay, but it turns out I'm not. 359 00:15:22,104 --> 00:15:24,773 Okay, listen, I may not have been entirely faithful, 360 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,308 but you, you are not easy to lift! 361 00:15:32,147 --> 00:15:33,147 Wow! 362 00:15:33,214 --> 00:15:35,182 Well, marriage must agree with you. 363 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:38,352 Well, you are just glowing. 364 00:15:41,790 --> 00:15:43,691 I'm not glowing. 365 00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:45,293 I'm upset. 366 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,462 Well, whatever it is, it agrees with you. 367 00:15:57,438 --> 00:16:00,274 Knock, knock, knock, Penny? 368 00:16:00,341 --> 00:16:03,576 Knock, knock, knock, Penny? Knock, knock, knock, Penny? 369 00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:07,014 What's this? 370 00:16:07,081 --> 00:16:08,282 Leonard told me what happened, 371 00:16:08,349 --> 00:16:11,151 so I took it upon myself to make you a hot beverage. 372 00:16:11,219 --> 00:16:12,820 Oh. That's so sweet of you. 373 00:16:12,887 --> 00:16:14,421 Yeah. I know. 374 00:16:15,522 --> 00:16:16,889 Turns out, being sweet 375 00:16:16,957 --> 00:16:19,425 isn't enough to keep a girl these days. 376 00:16:19,492 --> 00:16:21,493 I blame Madonna. 377 00:16:21,561 --> 00:16:24,496 I'm sorry to hear about you and Amy. 378 00:16:24,564 --> 00:16:25,965 Well, I'm sorry about Leonard. 379 00:16:26,033 --> 00:16:27,513 Thought I raised him better than that. 380 00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:30,636 You know, it's bad enough what happened, 381 00:16:30,704 --> 00:16:33,239 but then he tried to hide the fact that he sees her 382 00:16:33,307 --> 00:16:35,174 all the time at the university. 383 00:16:35,242 --> 00:16:37,576 He does? Who is it? 384 00:16:37,644 --> 00:16:39,911 Some girl named Mandy. 385 00:16:40,747 --> 00:16:43,081 Mandy Chao? Yeah. 386 00:16:43,149 --> 00:16:44,817 Oh, you don't need to worry about her. 387 00:16:44,884 --> 00:16:46,017 She's brilliant and attractive. 388 00:16:46,085 --> 00:16:48,520 She can do way better than Leonard. 389 00:16:53,025 --> 00:16:54,560 That's great. 390 00:16:55,895 --> 00:16:57,262 Wait a minute. 391 00:16:57,330 --> 00:16:59,264 I know this may sound farfetched, 392 00:16:59,332 --> 00:17:00,999 but I'm on the market now. 393 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,800 You know, if I dated Mandy, 394 00:17:02,869 --> 00:17:05,770 that would teach both Leonard and Amy a lesson. 395 00:17:05,838 --> 00:17:07,339 That's ridiculous. 396 00:17:07,406 --> 00:17:09,540 Oh, you're right. I could never be with a woman 397 00:17:09,608 --> 00:17:12,344 whose self-esteem was so low she'd be with Leonard. 398 00:17:12,411 --> 00:17:15,080 I'm with Leonard. 399 00:17:15,147 --> 00:17:17,548 Yeah, I know. Forever. 400 00:17:19,651 --> 00:17:22,587 Who would have believed these things would happen to us? 401 00:17:22,654 --> 00:17:24,122 Right? 402 00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:27,125 I can't believe Amy actually went through with it. 403 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,460 Hang on. 404 00:17:29,528 --> 00:17:32,096 You knew that she was going to end it with me? 405 00:17:32,163 --> 00:17:33,864 Did you try and stop her? 406 00:17:33,932 --> 00:17:38,102 I told her to be true to herself and do what makes her happy. 407 00:17:38,169 --> 00:17:39,336 Do what makes her happy? 408 00:17:39,404 --> 00:17:41,906 She plays the harp and her car is paid for. 409 00:17:41,973 --> 00:17:44,041 How much happier can she be? 410 00:17:44,876 --> 00:17:46,643 Okay, look, it's not my fault 411 00:17:46,711 --> 00:17:49,313 that she thought you were a bad boyfriend. 412 00:17:50,382 --> 00:17:52,216 I see. 413 00:17:52,284 --> 00:17:54,285 Well... 414 00:17:58,188 --> 00:18:00,056 I think I'll be going. 415 00:18:00,958 --> 00:18:02,725 Sheldon... No, no, no, no. 416 00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:05,128 We are done here. 417 00:18:08,432 --> 00:18:10,333 Would you mind opening the door 418 00:18:10,401 --> 00:18:13,569 and then angrily slamming it behind me? 419 00:18:14,504 --> 00:18:16,005 Sure. 420 00:18:16,073 --> 00:18:17,974 Thank you. 421 00:18:18,042 --> 00:18:19,675 And slam it hard, 422 00:18:19,743 --> 00:18:21,444 because I am pretty steamed. 423 00:18:24,047 --> 00:18:25,815 All right, Leonard, hang in there. 424 00:18:25,882 --> 00:18:28,083 Talk to you tomorrow. 425 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,787 What happened? They just got married. 426 00:18:31,855 --> 00:18:33,255 I don't know. 427 00:18:33,323 --> 00:18:36,625 It's a mess. They had a huge fight in Vegas. 428 00:18:36,693 --> 00:18:37,860 Think they'll break up? 429 00:18:37,928 --> 00:18:40,128 I don't know. Sounds pretty bad. 430 00:18:40,196 --> 00:18:42,931 Penny's back in her apartment all by herself. 431 00:18:42,999 --> 00:18:45,367 Really? 432 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,268 Would you like to hear another reason 433 00:18:58,336 --> 00:19:00,203 why men are better than women? 434 00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:04,506 Sure, let's make it an even hundred. 435 00:19:04,574 --> 00:19:07,176 You would never kiss me and make me say "I love you" 436 00:19:07,244 --> 00:19:08,845 and then break up with me. 437 00:19:08,912 --> 00:19:11,780 I wouldn't. 438 00:19:11,849 --> 00:19:14,250 And you know why? 439 00:19:14,318 --> 00:19:15,784 'Cause you're a man. 440 00:19:15,853 --> 00:19:19,288 The champagne of genders. 441 00:19:19,356 --> 00:19:21,457 Well, I may be a man, 442 00:19:21,524 --> 00:19:24,360 but I think I'm the one that screwed up on this one. 443 00:19:24,427 --> 00:19:27,996 Yeah, well, and you admit it, like a man. 444 00:19:28,064 --> 00:19:29,464 All you hear women say is, 445 00:19:29,531 --> 00:19:32,133 "I'll just have a salad." You know? 446 00:19:32,201 --> 00:19:33,935 "Where's my lip gloss?" 447 00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:36,671 "I think this element should be called radium." 448 00:19:38,474 --> 00:19:41,109 That last one was Madame Curie. 449 00:19:41,177 --> 00:19:43,811 I figured that out. 450 00:19:43,879 --> 00:19:46,247 You know what? She was kind of an honorary man. 451 00:19:46,314 --> 00:19:49,684 She had a penis made of science. 452 00:19:53,054 --> 00:19:56,591 Can't believe I'm spending my wedding night with you. 453 00:19:56,658 --> 00:19:57,992 Really? 454 00:19:58,059 --> 00:20:00,227 I never imagined it any other way. 455 00:20:02,622 --> 00:20:09,122 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 32261

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