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1
00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:07,750
Dear Aunt Hermione, I
hope Belgium was good
2
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,610
and this letter reaches
you safely in Dijon.
3
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,040
Mmmmm. Mustard!
4
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:18,110
We are all happy. Larry
is writing his third novel
5
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,950
which is more than Leslie has read.
And Les has a girlfriend, Daphne.
6
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:25,950
But won't let us meet her. Margo
had ditched her boyfriend, Zoltan,
7
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,230
because we begged her to.
8
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,680
And Gerry, as ever, prefers his
animal family to his human one.
9
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,790
I have given up searching for love.
10
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,470
So, will all my new free time,
I'm thinking of learning the harp.
11
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,920
Or getting a cello between my legs.
12
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,800
Time just for me.
13
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,000
It is gorgeous here.
14
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,600
- I can see it, Gerry.
- He followed me.
15
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,070
- Infuriating. - That's what
you said about most of them.
16
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,470
Scorpions don't follow people home.
17
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:17,710
I have nobody. I feel like
a dog without an owner.
18
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,870
You are a terrific young woman, Margo.
19
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,710
You don't need someone to own you.
20
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,870
Thank you, lonely spinster.
21
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:28,470
- I am neither. I'm a busy widow. - Ugh!
Even worse (!) - Look at this letter!
22
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,270
- Aarghhhhh!
- Agh!
23
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,990
I think I heard a crack.
Endless sorry animals.
24
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,750
- I've broken my leg!
- Unlikely, darling.
25
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,990
I just wrote to my aunt
that we're all happy.
26
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,350
- Argh! - Where's Leslie?
- Oh, I'll show you.
27
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,200
Arrghhhhhhh!
28
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,470
Well, life hasn't
showered Leslie with gifts.
29
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,750
He's allowed a girlfriend.
30
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,790
So, that's Daphne.
31
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,710
- Hello, Daphne!
- No. No. No. No. It's not her.
32
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:05,190
He's got three girls. I found
these in his secret nook.
33
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,230
He's made the mistake of
photographing his victims.
34
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,030
- So what do you expect me
to do about it? - I dunno.
35
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,640
Oh. Nice cardie.
36
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,360
Oh, God. They look like trouble.
37
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,910
Well, tell your publisher
that you won't use a pseudonym.
38
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,470
I've got no choice.
39
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,510
My last novel did so badly
my name is commercial leprosy.
40
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,190
A pseudonym is when you use a
name that isn't yours because...
41
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,350
I know what a pseudonym is. Don't
confuse boredom with ignorance.
42
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,880
- Oh, please, Margo. Get
a ruddy hobby. - Evening.
43
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,630
Is it true you have THREE girlfriends?
44
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,350
- Yes, it is. - And do they
all know about each other?
45
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:40,350
- No, they don't. - I can't help
thinking one would be simpler.
46
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,710
This makes up for all the
time I had no girlfriends.
47
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,630
If you average it out,
I have one girlfriend.
48
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,790
Lots of animals mate for life.
49
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,110
- Yeah, that's what I'm going for.
- Me too.
50
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,110
He doesn't mean they mate
constantly throughout their life.
51
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,870
Have only one mate their whole life.
Otters, penguins, the prairie vole.
52
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,310
No, I'm not a prairie vole. I'm me.
53
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,590
It would be nice to meet
your friends. Oh, no. No.
54
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,990
- I don't want you sticking your oar in.
- Hermione will.
55
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,710
- She's coming back.
- It's weed on you.
56
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,430
She's coming back again? Why?
57
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:14,760
Warmth. Renewal. Her friend Mr Anestis.
58
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,920
In fact, she's planning
to stay permanently.
59
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:44,470
My niece Dionisia is Leslie
girlfriend. Soon, he will be family.
60
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,830
I'm afraid you're jumping ahead.
Leslie is seeing three girls.
61
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,560
- Three?
- Aaghhhh!
62
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,910
- Do you really think
it's broken? - Yes.
63
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,600
All right. I'll fetch the doctor.
64
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,830
- As you insist, I've chosen a hobby.
- Oh, good.
65
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,750
Making sculptures out of soap.
66
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,030
- What? - Well, it seems stupid
but so do a lot of things.
67
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,440
Like hockey and feet. And testicles.
68
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:21,270
Is that the same flamingo?
69
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,360
Yes.
70
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,910
Oh, dear. Ah! Florence.
71
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,790
- It's actually your husband
I wanted to see. - Hold this.
72
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:36,540
Oh.
73
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:46,150
Little Adonis. Isn't he a sweetie?
74
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,030
Fatuous bloody name! Not so
much Adonis more a Dennis!
75
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,040
No, he's... He's bonnie.
76
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,910
Leslie was a monstrous troll of a baby.
77
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,000
And he's not exactly Clark Gable now!
78
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,510
Look, Florence it will get easier.
79
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,720
You've waited so long for this baby.
80
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,870
- So, what's happened to Larry?
- Well...
81
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:13,520
He thinks he's fractured his
leg tripping over the dog.
82
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,590
They kept him quiet for
all of three seconds.
83
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,510
These might be a bit sharp.
84
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:25,590
Oh, boo hoo. Well, I can't
help. My husband's in Kavos.
85
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,550
They have a backlog of
cases. Dr Frangos is working.
86
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,910
I'm a better doctor than Dr Frangos.
87
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,110
Larry needs an X-ray more than a doctor.
88
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,390
- And where could he get one of those?
- Athens. Naples.
89
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,310
- Turn left out of the house. Try Istanbul.
- This is ridiculous.
90
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:44,030
Yes, it is. But Larry is no
stranger to accidents and illnesses.
91
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,830
- He obviously likes the attention.
- You may not be interested
92
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,910
in being a good parent but I am.
93
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,950
So I'll try another way.
94
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,270
And I'm sorry you don't
think Leslie's handsome
95
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,320
but he has three girlfriends.
96
00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,400
- Do you have any remedies for
excess libido? - Childbirth.
97
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,990
Mrs Durrell. Founder of a
dynasty. What a pleasure.
98
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,670
How delightful to find someone
who isn't grumpy or cross with me.
99
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:31,110
Oh, yes. There's lots of
crossness. Even on a Greek island.
100
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,110
Because they have no
thermocyclops to keep them happy.
101
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,110
Oh. He's in here, is he?
102
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,950
Several hundred of them.
It's more of a soup, really.
103
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,390
Hmm. But it's Larry I'm here about.
104
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:46,070
- He suspects he's broken his leg.
- Oh, dear.
105
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,390
Florence can't help and
well, there's no backup.
106
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,510
You have medical training. What can I do?
107
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,990
I'd love to help but I
didn't qualify as a doctor.
108
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:59,640
Besides, who else will monitor the
thermocyclops and other copepods?
109
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:04,400
Well, that's one defective
son. On to the next.
110
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,720
- Hello, Spiros.
- Mrs Durrells.
111
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,870
- Home?
- Yes, please.
112
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,230
I would walk but I have a favour to ask.
113
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:25,430
- Anything. - This is one occasion
where I wish I had a husband.
114
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,360
Or, at least, Leslie had a father.
115
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:33,440
Would you explain to him why
it's wrong to be promiscuous?
116
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,710
That mating with too many ladies?
117
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,350
Erm... yes. But we tend to
say 'mating' only for animals.
118
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,400
Hm. What would you say?
119
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,680
I don't know.
120
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,800
Leslie, Spiros would like a word.
121
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,350
Gerry, I said no more.
122
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,910
We don't have the food or the room.
123
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,310
- I'm sorry, I'm going
to release one. - No!
124
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,200
I'm researching if their colour
will change if they alter their diet.
125
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,590
At your age, with the girls, I
was like a cat in a mouse house.
126
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,630
Happy times.
127
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:34,710
Were yours pretty? Mine are so pretty.
128
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,670
Ha-ha. Yes. One was incredibly...
129
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,430
What's the word? Er...
130
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,470
- Busty.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah. Busty.
131
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,430
- I can't tell you how busty.
- Are you sure you can't?
132
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,230
Enjoy it. Enjoy it while you can b...
133
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,270
.. Because... erm...
134
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,560
So, to recap... What are you doing? Huh?
135
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,840
The love of one good woman...
136
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:05,280
.. is nice and...
137
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,670
Pelican tart, for supper.
138
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,190
And Gerry will be
releasing some of his pets.
139
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,750
Please do the same... Leslie.
140
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,800
Or I will.
141
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:29,810
I'm buying more goats from Sven.
142
00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:32,130
Their cheese always does well.
143
00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:34,170
But we need to sell more.
144
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:36,740
Whoa. It's boring being paupers.
145
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,290
I'd love a porpoise.
146
00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:43,530
So, I'm putting you in
charge of animal produce.
147
00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:47,380
That way, you'll be among
animals but useful ones.
148
00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:53,210
- Still no milk from her? - No.
- Look, Sven loves his goats.
149
00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:55,850
But when they come to the end
of their working lives...
150
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:58,570
We don't slaughter people who retire.
151
00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:02,170
Animals aren't people and you
merrily eat meat someone has killed.
152
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:04,530
You're right. From now
on, I'm a vegetarian.
153
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:07,570
- Gerry, I am NOT cooking
two different meals. - Theo!
154
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:11,170
Mrs Durrell, Professor Durrell...
155
00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:14,530
I've brought you a leopard spotted gecko.
156
00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:17,610
Found in a crate of Indian mangoes.
157
00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,650
Thank you. Look at that.
158
00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,690
I'll see if I can milk it.
159
00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:24,010
So we can make some money (!)
160
00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:26,330
I just wanted a word with your mother.
161
00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:27,730
Hm.
162
00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:32,250
Our chat earlier sparked a
crisis of conscience in me.
163
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,690
Am I more useful improving health in Corfu
164
00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:36,730
than scrutinising molluscs?
165
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,770
Yes, you are.
166
00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:43,250
- Of course, molluscs are vital links
in the complex chain of life. - Hm.
167
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:46,170
I don't care. But what will you do?
168
00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:48,730
I have an idea of how to help Larry.
169
00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:52,660
- I'm going to the mainland to investigate.
- Thank you, Theo.
170
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:57,810
Across Europe Auntie strides,
like the Mongol hordes.
171
00:11:57,860 --> 00:12:00,140
But wearing more talcum powder.
172
00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:06,570
- What's your sculpture of?
- Wouldn't you like to know?
173
00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:11,300
Yes. I'm agog to know what you're
making out of shards of old soap (!)
174
00:12:12,660 --> 00:12:14,650
Which pseudonym do you prefer?
175
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:18,210
Hieronymous Schmoop or Tom Orange?
176
00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:21,170
It depends. Do you want to
sound like a pretentious ponce
177
00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:23,210
or a simpleton?
178
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:25,900
- Pretentious ponce.
- Oh.
179
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:31,930
- You remember which of your stable
of ladies you're meeting? - Yes.
180
00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:34,940
- You can't keep all three.
- Well, I can.
181
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,370
Tell us why you like each one.
182
00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:41,450
Well, Daphne's so confident.
183
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,330
Sometimes me and her have
a right old shouting match.
184
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,650
Tsanta is really gentle and kind.
185
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:49,450
And Dionisia made us laugh
so much once we wet ourselves.
186
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:52,020
She is such fun.
187
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:56,050
I know it's hard to find one person
who gives you everything but...
188
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:58,100
Yeah, exactly.
189
00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,490
You managed to get up the stairs, then?
190
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,900
If you hadn't hidden the
booze, I'd have danced up.
191
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:19,370
How did I not know Leslie has
been accumulating girlfriends?
192
00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:22,730
Oh, we all need secrets. I've
got some absolute humdingers.
193
00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:24,770
Well, yes, but you're not Les.
194
00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:27,410
He needs special care.
195
00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:30,410
Ideally, I'd spend all day
with him. Like a bodyguard.
196
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:32,650
Five yards behind pointing out hazards.
197
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:35,290
He has three girlfriends
not three landmines!
198
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:37,970
They're people. He's not good with people.
199
00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:40,570
He is good with things.
200
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:43,570
Yes, he's very good with things.
201
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:46,370
All parents have one
child that they fear for.
202
00:13:46,420 --> 00:13:49,210
You know, the one who
gets bitten or rejected.
203
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,770
Or the one who chooses bad friends.
204
00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:53,810
Or falls off Bournemouth Pier.
205
00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:56,670
Please try not to get involved.
206
00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,730
Well, what am I here for?
207
00:13:58,780 --> 00:14:03,850
He's heading for disaster. It's his
first ballet class all over again.
208
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,930
- You're going to tell him who to pick.
- Oh, I would never do that.
209
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,610
What are you planning, then?
210
00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:11,940
To protect my most vulnerable child.
211
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:18,250
I've forgiven you for acting
like Jack The Lad with Leslie
212
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:20,290
because I'm afraid I need your help again.
213
00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:24,690
Mrs Durrells, I love to help and
your family gives me many chances.
214
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:29,010
I now know the names and whereabouts
of his three girlfriends.
215
00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:31,370
So we're going to go and
find out what they're like.
216
00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:36,450
- Why? - Well, Leslie has a
history of making bad choices.
217
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:40,090
Well, I can't bear to watch him do
it again and have his heart broken.
218
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:44,300
I remember his first
girlfriend cheated on him.
219
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,210
He sobbed into my arms.
220
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:50,970
I wanted to kill her.
221
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,890
Is this his revenge?
222
00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:54,930
No. It's love of women.
223
00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,970
I can think of bigger sins.
224
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:10,850
Is this the one who laughs with
Leslie till they wet themselves?
225
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:15,050
No, that's Dionisia. And once. I
don't think it's a regular thing.
226
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,460
- Kalimera.
- Kalimera.
227
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,370
- Daphne?
- Yes.
228
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,410
I'm your friend Leslie's mother.
229
00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:25,330
He mentioned you and we were passing.
230
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:27,370
I wondered if you'd seen him.
231
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:29,330
I think you come to see how I look.
232
00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:31,370
Very confident.
233
00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:34,570
Oh, no. Besides, who cares about looks?
234
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,610
I do.
235
00:15:36,660 --> 00:15:39,330
Actually, I do too.
236
00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:43,130
Leslie looks strong but
he's surprisingly delicate.
237
00:15:43,180 --> 00:15:45,810
No, he's not. You're wrong.
238
00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:47,890
Have you met Spiros?
239
00:15:47,940 --> 00:15:49,940
Yes.
240
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,210
Aunt Hermione doesn't dawdle, does she?
241
00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:08,560
Look, she's reached Venice.
242
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:12,690
Maybe she'll catch Cholera
like Gustav von Ashenbach.
243
00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:14,810
Death In Venice.
244
00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:17,090
- It's a book.
- It's a book. Of course it is.
245
00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:20,290
Look, I'll tell you why it's a bad
idea to have three girlfriends.
246
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:22,730
- Cos it's three more
than you have (!) - A...
247
00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:25,330
one day you'll call them by
the other girls' name. B...
248
00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:29,250
- they'll find out you're cheating and dump you.
- I haven't lied to them.
249
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:32,010
Spoken like a cheap lawyer.
C, Mother isn't happy.
250
00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:33,650
- D...
- Let's do the whole alphabet.
251
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:36,850
.. if you had one girlfriend... I
know, boring... and she had two men,
252
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:41,130
- how would you feel? And...
- If you say, "E", I'll kick your bad leg.
253
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,770
- Aaghhh!
- R?
254
00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:46,490
Oh, I give up. Do what you want.
255
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:49,170
Yeah, we know it hurts.
256
00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:53,210
And it says here 'a broken limb can
become deformed if not set properly.'
257
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:57,130
W-Why don't I make you a plaster cast?
258
00:16:57,180 --> 00:16:59,170
Because you're not a doctor.
259
00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:02,520
- I delivered Lugaretzia's granddaughter...
- So I practically am!
260
00:17:21,860 --> 00:17:25,010
- Yassas.
- Yassas.
261
00:17:25,060 --> 00:17:28,770
- Sorry to disturb you. Are
you Tsanta? - Yes, I am.
262
00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:32,820
- I am Mrs Durrell, your
friend Leslie's mother. - Oh.
263
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:37,730
What a pretty blush. Mr
Halikiopoulos and I were passing.
264
00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:40,690
- Weren't we?
- OK.
265
00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:45,330
Leslie said you helped out here and
I've always wanted to visit this church.
266
00:17:45,380 --> 00:17:47,370
Haven't I, Spiros?
267
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:51,290
Yes, I had to tell her, "Stop
going on and on and on about it."
268
00:17:51,340 --> 00:17:53,170
I didn't go on and on about it.
269
00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:56,060
I am very pleased to meet you.
270
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,050
I see why Leslie loves his mother.
271
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:03,810
You go straight into the lead.
272
00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:06,860
- The lead?
- Er...
273
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,220
- Yassas.
- Yassas.
274
00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:19,290
You are Dionisia?
275
00:18:19,340 --> 00:18:22,370
- Neh.
- Leslie's mother.
276
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:25,610
Mrs Durrells. He mentioned
you. We were just passing.
277
00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:29,030
- ~
- She doesn't speak English.
278
00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:32,090
Oh. So how do they make each other laugh?
279
00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:34,830
~
280
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:36,730
~
281
00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:38,780
Mind your own business.
282
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,610
So what does she like about Leslie?
283
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:44,810
~
284
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:48,170
Hmmm. ~
285
00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:50,370
He's silly.
286
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,910
Kalimera. ~
287
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,820
~
288
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,250
If anyone's silly, you're silly.
289
00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:01,770
- You want my opinion of the ladies?
- I think I've made my own mind up.
290
00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:04,810
- Daphne's tough because her
father is a gangster. - What?!
291
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:07,770
- Well, why didn't you say?
- You can't pick your daddy.
292
00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:12,180
Dionisia, I think, lives for now
and does what comes naturally.
293
00:19:13,660 --> 00:19:16,650
Tsanta is a sweet peasant girl...
294
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:19,970
- who keeps her knees together.
- You're guessing.
295
00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:22,850
- Yes, but I knew her mother well.
- Of course you did.
296
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:26,370
I just want Leslie to find
someone who'll love him
297
00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:27,970
like I loved my husband.
298
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:30,090
So, what now?
299
00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:32,940
I talk to Leslie and tell
him who he should choose.
300
00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:40,980
- You... are... family...
of... Lugaretzia. - Lugaretzia.
301
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,980
Stop it now. That's really mean.
302
00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:09,730
Plaster cast. Want to sign it?
303
00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:11,850
Just trying to keep it erudite.
304
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:13,900
Who did it?
305
00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:18,540
Les. It does hurt less
but it is rather heavy.
306
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:28,570
Oh, Leslie, I dropped in
on all of your girlfriends.
307
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,770
So, obviously, that took quite a while.
308
00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:32,810
Why did you?
309
00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:36,890
Well, because I haven't met
them. I worry about you.
310
00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:40,890
- Well, you didn't mention any
of my oddities, did you? - No.
311
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,930
They're all very pretty.
312
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:46,810
And Tsanta's lovely. Choose her.
313
00:20:46,860 --> 00:20:48,770
Sorry, Lugaretzia.
314
00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:52,450
Invite Tsanta round for tea and
we can all kick off our shoes
315
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:55,090
- and get to know each
other better. - No.
316
00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:57,610
Look, I'm trying to
save you some heartache.
317
00:20:57,660 --> 00:21:01,130
Having three times the normal number
of girlfriends cannot end well.
318
00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:04,780
Then stop interfering. I'm trying to
run a tight ship and keep them happy.
319
00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:08,220
Oh.
320
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:13,330
Don't all glower at me.
321
00:21:13,380 --> 00:21:17,370
Well, it's not gone brilliantly,
has it? Now you've alienated Leslie.
322
00:21:17,420 --> 00:21:19,980
I'm getting involved. I understand women.
323
00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:25,490
Well, I wouldn't kick
any of them out of bed.
324
00:21:25,540 --> 00:21:28,850
Dionisia is the best. My family.
325
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:32,690
- She looks fun. I'm backing her.
- She's just like Leslie first girlfriend.
326
00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:35,410
- Who was unfaithful to him.
- Love is a whirlpool.
327
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,980
Some drown.
328
00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:41,050
Tsanta's kind and her English is good.
329
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:44,220
- Dionisia only speaks Greek.
- This is Greece, no?
330
00:21:45,780 --> 00:21:48,370
- Les needs a strong woman.
- No. You mean YOU do.
331
00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:51,810
You can tell Daphne doesn't take any
bullshit. I'll make sure he picks her.
332
00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:54,340
How we going to do that?
333
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:41,010
Gerry, they hate me. Get rid of them.
334
00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:43,690
Flamingoes don't like being
looked in the eye. I told you.
335
00:22:43,740 --> 00:22:45,570
See them in the wild.
336
00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:47,490
Do you know why they stand on one leg?
337
00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:50,450
- For a bet? I don't know.
- Nor do I.
338
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:52,930
No one does. Not until
we study them some more.
339
00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:56,170
- And it's easier here.
- For once, will you listen to me?
340
00:22:56,220 --> 00:22:58,130
Leslie doesn't. Larry doesn't. And...
341
00:22:58,180 --> 00:23:00,410
Margo's got a brain like
a room full of starlings.
342
00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:03,610
- I wondered where I could
get some starlings. - Listen!
343
00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:06,140
No more creatures.
344
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:14,410
- Hello, Margo. Good timing. I'm
just back from Athens. - Oh, good.
345
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:17,090
- Theo, do you have any soap?
- Yes, I do.
346
00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:19,060
May I have it, please?
347
00:23:23,380 --> 00:23:25,300
I may need to wash at some point.
348
00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:30,610
Are you trying the ancient
craft of soap sculpture?
349
00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:32,690
Originally from Siam, I believe.
350
00:23:32,740 --> 00:23:35,290
You really are a brainbox, aren't you?
351
00:23:35,340 --> 00:23:38,930
- What are you doing in Athens?
- Can't say yet. It's very exciting.
352
00:23:38,980 --> 00:23:43,780
As exciting as a family torn apart
by a choice between three women?
353
00:23:44,980 --> 00:23:48,930
Leslie's girlfriends.
Apparently, it's like King Lear.
354
00:23:48,980 --> 00:23:51,410
Except Les hasn't got
a kingdom to give away.
355
00:23:51,460 --> 00:23:54,410
Gosh. I wouldn't have
expected that from Leslie.
356
00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:56,460
I see him more as a Bottom.
357
00:23:57,900 --> 00:24:01,380
The Shakespearean character
Bottom not THE bottom.
358
00:24:02,420 --> 00:24:03,570
Oh.
359
00:24:03,620 --> 00:24:06,180
Thank you so much.
360
00:24:10,020 --> 00:24:12,260
Come on, Theo. Spit it out.
361
00:24:16,940 --> 00:24:19,810
Mrs Petridis has opened
up a spare room for me.
362
00:24:31,780 --> 00:24:33,780
What do you think?
363
00:24:37,660 --> 00:24:40,690
- A photography studio?
- Sort of.
364
00:24:40,740 --> 00:24:44,370
A radiography unit. X-rays.
A phenomenal diagnostics tool.
365
00:24:44,420 --> 00:24:47,020
People are suffering
and dying needless here.
366
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,710
Theo, this is...
367
00:24:50,260 --> 00:24:51,210
wonderful.
368
00:25:01,420 --> 00:25:06,330
If you need me, I'll be next door
asleep in a pool of my own tears.
369
00:25:11,420 --> 00:25:13,690
Why has our neighbour got a wheelchair?
370
00:25:13,740 --> 00:25:16,420
His toes went black and had to be cut off.
371
00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:20,660
Wait. Jar.
372
00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:26,500
Come on, handsome.
373
00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:32,060
- You heard what mother said.
- I have a plan.
374
00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:42,890
- Hello. Herete.
- Herete.
375
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:44,940
~
376
00:25:48,260 --> 00:25:49,810
~
377
00:25:49,860 --> 00:25:51,610
You are very pretty and nice.
378
00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:53,860
~
379
00:25:54,940 --> 00:25:58,210
Leslie must be with you.
You are the most jolly.
380
00:25:58,260 --> 00:26:02,980
We need more fun in our family
and modern fashion like yours.
381
00:26:09,980 --> 00:26:11,970
~
382
00:26:12,020 --> 00:26:14,060
Leslie is very funny.
383
00:26:16,620 --> 00:26:19,060
I don't think it's deliberate.
384
00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:24,380
Kalimera.
385
00:26:27,580 --> 00:26:28,970
- Daphne?
- Yes.
386
00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:31,970
We're Leslie's brothers.
We're just passing.
387
00:26:32,020 --> 00:26:34,010
Came along to say hello.
388
00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:36,650
Larry needs an outing every
once in while or he gets grumpy.
389
00:26:36,700 --> 00:26:40,370
- I've never seen one that big.
- Thank you. I hear that a lot.
390
00:26:40,420 --> 00:26:44,090
Before we chat, I am available
if you prefer me to Leslie.
391
00:26:44,140 --> 00:26:45,330
No.
392
00:26:45,380 --> 00:26:47,850
Good. That was a test.
393
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:51,210
- Why do you like Leslie?
- He's a good person.
394
00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:54,810
- Leslie thinks about me.
- Yes. When he has time.
395
00:26:54,860 --> 00:26:57,170
But we're here to advise
you how to win Leslie over.
396
00:26:57,220 --> 00:26:59,220
I have already won him over.
397
00:26:59,460 --> 00:27:01,450
- Well...
- Not quite.
398
00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:04,890
- Pretend to love guns and shooting.
- And he hates books.
399
00:27:04,940 --> 00:27:07,810
Just say you don't like them.
And come to tea on Sunday.
400
00:27:07,860 --> 00:27:09,900
So we think of you as Leslie's girlfriend.
401
00:27:15,060 --> 00:27:17,970
- Hello, Tsanta.
- Mrs Durrells.
402
00:27:18,020 --> 00:27:20,690
- You come to see the
church again? - No.
403
00:27:20,740 --> 00:27:22,730
I've come to see you.
404
00:27:22,780 --> 00:27:23,940
Oh.
405
00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:31,490
- Is Mother out?
- Yes.
406
00:27:31,540 --> 00:27:34,460
Thank you, driver.
407
00:27:46,660 --> 00:27:50,450
Go on. One in, one out!
408
00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:52,500
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
409
00:27:53,540 --> 00:27:56,260
Go on. Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
410
00:27:57,020 --> 00:27:58,500
Shoo!
411
00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:04,490
You know Hitler's a vegetarian, Gerry?
412
00:28:04,540 --> 00:28:09,340
- And like you, he writes books.
- Hm. He sounds all right, then.
413
00:28:11,260 --> 00:28:14,210
- Your hands are filthy.
- Margo's used all the soap.
414
00:28:15,540 --> 00:28:18,490
Enjoy the chicken, everyone.
415
00:28:18,540 --> 00:28:21,690
- Since Gerry's shooed ours away.
- You said to get rid of some animals.
416
00:28:21,740 --> 00:28:23,900
That is hilarious. Be fair.
417
00:28:26,620 --> 00:28:28,810
Delicious (!)
418
00:28:28,860 --> 00:28:32,210
- And no one was killed.
- Good day at the orifice?
419
00:28:32,260 --> 00:28:35,050
Leg still feeling good?
You're most welcome.
420
00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:39,010
It's bearable thanks to the booze I
managed to smuggle past the guard.
421
00:28:46,460 --> 00:28:51,090
Leslie's less strong-minded than he seems.
422
00:28:51,140 --> 00:28:54,210
He needs help and reassurance.
423
00:28:54,260 --> 00:28:57,130
And sometimes, we forget to give it.
424
00:28:57,180 --> 00:28:59,170
So you can do that.
425
00:28:59,220 --> 00:29:01,610
Because that will make
him love you... even more.
426
00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:04,180
Thank you. You're very nice.
427
00:29:09,460 --> 00:29:11,410
My latest. Larry's idea.
428
00:29:11,460 --> 00:29:14,340
It's Hydra, the serpent
woman with three heads.
429
00:29:15,380 --> 00:29:17,970
Hello, I'm Margo.
430
00:29:18,020 --> 00:29:21,020
Leslie's sister and emotional
advisor. You must be Tsanta.
431
00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:24,530
Are you sure you like
Les? He's a lot of trouble.
432
00:29:24,580 --> 00:29:26,450
No, he's not. Go away.
433
00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:30,890
- Where is Leslie? - I told him to be
here at five o'clock for Sunday tea.
434
00:29:30,940 --> 00:29:33,930
- Oh, God! - It's a bit of
England we've brought with us.
435
00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:35,410
That and sarcasm.
436
00:29:35,460 --> 00:29:37,450
And a fear of emotions.
437
00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:40,180
Guests for tea!
438
00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:44,700
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
439
00:29:56,660 --> 00:30:00,370
I bring my niece for five
o'clock tea like you say.
440
00:30:00,420 --> 00:30:04,570
Oh. How... lovely.
441
00:30:04,620 --> 00:30:07,140
Well, let's have it over here.
442
00:30:08,980 --> 00:30:11,170
You'll get draughty in
this dress, Dionisia.
443
00:30:11,220 --> 00:30:13,650
- I'll lend you a scarf.
- Ignore her. You look stunning.
444
00:30:13,700 --> 00:30:17,170
She is pretty. My family
usually is not pretty.
445
00:30:17,220 --> 00:30:20,370
- I'll bring Leslie right over.
- Where is he?
446
00:30:20,420 --> 00:30:23,100
Good question. I'll go and look for him.
447
00:30:25,460 --> 00:30:27,250
Where did you bring Dionisia?
448
00:30:27,300 --> 00:30:29,490
I'm just the driver. I couldn't say no.
449
00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:33,290
My leg is hot and veering to the left.
450
00:30:33,340 --> 00:30:35,340
I want this cast off NOW!
451
00:30:36,260 --> 00:30:38,650
I have tools.
452
00:30:38,700 --> 00:30:42,490
Dionisia has arrived. We have
to keep her and Tsanta apart.
453
00:30:42,540 --> 00:30:44,410
- And Daphne's coming any minute.
- What?!
454
00:30:44,460 --> 00:30:47,530
I didn't know you were bringing
all the contestants. Daphne.
455
00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:49,690
She's the best one for Les. Give up now.
456
00:30:49,740 --> 00:30:53,050
- She's much better than the nun woman.
- She's not a nun!
457
00:30:53,100 --> 00:30:55,490
It's not fair on Leslie
finding them all here.
458
00:30:55,540 --> 00:30:58,810
You wanted him to choose and now's
his chance. Like a beauty parade.
459
00:30:58,860 --> 00:31:00,850
Or a police line-up.
460
00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:04,050
Daphne. Well, what a surprise.
461
00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:06,850
- Hello.
- Oh, it's terribly hot, isn't it?
462
00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:08,450
- No.
- No.
463
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:11,060
Even so, let's go indoors and have tea.
464
00:31:25,740 --> 00:31:28,580
- I don't know where Leslie is.
- There.
465
00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:31,530
Oh.
466
00:31:31,580 --> 00:31:34,260
Er... excuse me.
467
00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:39,490
Leslie, Leslie, don't approach the house.
468
00:31:39,540 --> 00:31:41,530
Why not?
469
00:31:41,580 --> 00:31:45,250
Because Larry is one saw stroke
away from having his foot lopped off.
470
00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:48,980
- Well, I wouldn't want to miss that.
- No, darling...
471
00:31:52,340 --> 00:31:54,340
Why did you let Leslie...?
472
00:31:55,260 --> 00:31:58,220
Your foot's stuck.
473
00:32:04,060 --> 00:32:06,530
What's all this, then?
474
00:32:06,580 --> 00:32:08,770
- Hello, Leslie.
- Hello.
475
00:32:08,820 --> 00:32:10,860
- Hello, Leslie.
- Yes.
476
00:32:14,740 --> 00:32:16,650
Who are these girls?
477
00:32:16,700 --> 00:32:19,220
They're just mates.
478
00:32:20,220 --> 00:32:22,650
Daphne, old Daffers...
479
00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:25,010
I've no idea who she is.
480
00:32:25,060 --> 00:32:27,210
"Larry is a bastard."
481
00:32:27,260 --> 00:32:30,930
- Who wrote that?!
- And -- Bigfoot, Bighead.
482
00:32:30,980 --> 00:32:32,530
Come on.
483
00:32:32,580 --> 00:32:36,290
- There's your pseudonym.
- This family is a disgrace.
484
00:32:36,340 --> 00:32:39,130
Spiros, saw off the leg. Nobody cares!
485
00:32:39,180 --> 00:32:41,630
I'm sorry, Greek people.
486
00:32:42,780 --> 00:32:47,140
- Do I hear the language of Shakespeare?
- Aunt Hermione!
487
00:32:48,620 --> 00:32:50,090
Greetings.
488
00:32:50,140 --> 00:32:52,130
Why are you always early?
489
00:32:52,180 --> 00:32:56,170
- I opted to skip Foggia.
Don't shout. - Auntie.
490
00:32:56,220 --> 00:32:58,210
Thank goodness you're here.
491
00:32:58,260 --> 00:33:00,850
Please sort out my children.
492
00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:04,690
And as you can't decide which
of your girlfriends you prefer,
493
00:33:04,740 --> 00:33:06,730
Aunt Hermione will do it.
494
00:33:06,780 --> 00:33:08,540
Right here. Right now.
495
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,910
You see, I wouldn't dream
of policing anybody's family
496
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:32,150
or romantic life. When it comes
to love, we're all beginners.
497
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:35,750
You see, my visits here
have taught me that the world
498
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,670
is too lovelier place
to be a dictatorship.
499
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,830
Honour others, be kind. But...
500
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:45,240
obey only the whisperings
of your own soul.
501
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,510
- What is that?
- Oh, do you like it?
502
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,960
I could do you one if you want.
With fewer heads or more heads.
503
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,830
Auntie, you used to be so blunt
and clear about everything.
504
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,070
Oh, my dear, this place has changed me.
505
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,790
I'm like a dog who wonders
why she spent so long barking.
506
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:13,110
Leslie, I'm sorry your dilemma
was so publicly exposed.
507
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:17,160
But better to live excessively
than not to live at all.
508
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,630
Anyway, I'm glad to be among you again.
509
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,190
Welcome back. We've been
following your return on a map.
510
00:34:24,240 --> 00:34:27,110
Yes. It's been a long journey.
511
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,790
You know, I've learnt to
say, "Where the hell are we?"
512
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,830
in SIX European languages.
513
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,310
Ha! So I'm going for a swim.
514
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,150
Sorry I shouted before.
515
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:39,590
I just don't want to remember Corfu
as the place that destroyed my leg.
516
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:43,590
- Theo's just set up an X-Ray unit.
He says Mother's inspired him. - What?
517
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:47,510
Why didn't you tell me this before?
Spiros, please take me there now.
518
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,470
It's not ready yet. Theo's still
working out what the knobs do.
519
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,280
- Well, I'll sit and wait until he has.
- I'm coming too.
520
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,870
Leslie! I promise we weren't
trying to humiliate you.
521
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,920
What have I done?
522
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,870
You are good, Leslie.
523
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,190
- I'm not, though, am
I? I'm horrible. - No.
524
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:19,390
- Thank you.
- But...
525
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,040
I don't want to see you anymore.
526
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:30,110
- She was the nicest of them.
- That's why I brought her here.
527
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,590
Leslie, I have one thing to do.
528
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,070
And that's make sure
four children are happy.
529
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,200
I really was just trying to help you.
530
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,350
I know I shouldn't have had
three girlfriends but...
531
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,190
Oh, I was just waiting for natural wastage
532
00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:48,510
- as they realised I'm not that special.
- But you ARE, Leslie.
533
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,830
- In your way. - With my plan, I'd
have been left with the keenest one
534
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:54,480
least likely to cheat on
me. Now I have nobody.
535
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:57,150
But you WILL.
536
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,230
Somewhere out there, there's
a girl who will cherish you,
537
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,280
and love you even more than I do.
538
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,750
And I will look at the two of you with joy
539
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,800
and my work will be done.
540
00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:14,880
No, I'll just stay at home with you.
541
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:18,680
Oh, Leslie.
542
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,160
You are a kind, sweet boy.
543
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:35,550
Aarrghhhhhhhh!
544
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,590
- You're marking the tiles.
- I can't lift it up!
545
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,360
Ohhhhhh!
546
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,110
- Hello.
- X-Ray me, doc.
547
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,830
- Give me the bad news.
- The equipment's not ready.
548
00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,750
And I'm not a doctor. Though I did
buy myself a stethoscope and mask!
549
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,310
- He's not leaving until you do it.
- Can you X-Ray him through concrete?
550
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,910
What do you think? Huh? What do you think?
551
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,350
Dr Petridis must have some special tools.
552
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,830
Yes, he has.
553
00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:13,170
Ssh. Sssh.
554
00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:15,720
Here we are.
555
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,430
Argh!
556
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:20,630
Aarrghhhhhhh!
557
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:24,350
I haven't had much sleep but
I seem to be weirdly strong.
558
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,640
It's OK. Have a sit down. Have a sit down.
559
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,670
- My husband's away, you know.
- Yes, we do.
560
00:37:31,720 --> 00:37:34,080
I can't even look after my own baby.
561
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:41,230
- How did you do that?
- I've slept so I'm more relaxed than you.
562
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,290
Babies sense these things.
563
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:45,500
Don't they?
564
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,560
Can I suggest a technique I used
while making my soap sculpture?
565
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,070
Thank you for coming.
566
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,110
I didn't need much excuse.
567
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,680
Wimborne Minster has been very dank.
568
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,950
Are you planning to see
your Greek gentleman...
569
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,910
- Mr Anestis?
- Yes.
570
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:14,870
But if I don't settle here, I also
have two suitors in East Dorset.
571
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,390
So I can hardly criticise Leslie.
572
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,120
I've done that enough in the past.
573
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,110
Look, it's obvious... now.
574
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:27,190
I've given up my love life so I've
turned my attention to my children's.
575
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:31,670
You are a resourceful mother to a
platoon of strong-minded children.
576
00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:35,790
- Enjoy them without judging them.
- Judging's the only fun I get.
577
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,870
You know better than me
578
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:42,510
but good parenting isn't about
meddling in your children's lives.
579
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,720
It's about loving them.
580
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,190
- Arrghhhh!
- Ssh. Ssh. Sssh.
581
00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:53,840
- It's softening.
- Try the shears again.
582
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,150
Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agghhhh!
583
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,030
Agh! Agh! Agh!
584
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,150
Agh! Aarrghhhhh!
585
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,200
- Your turn.
- Oh, come on, Larry.
586
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:07,070
Aarrghhhhh!
587
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:14,390
Come on, Larry.
588
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,440
We're nearly there.
589
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,150
- Aarrghhhhhh!
- Come on!
590
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,680
Can you wipe my face, please?
591
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,710
Thank you. Thank you.
592
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,240
Thank you.
593
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,160
Hey, Les. Sorry about you and your women.
594
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,790
At least you know it would
have never worked with Tsanta.
595
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:53,590
Because Tsanta only comes once a year.
596
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,470
I hope Theo says your leg
is twisted and broken
597
00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:00,230
- and you never walk again!
- Sibling discord? Is this possible?
598
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,350
- Sorry. - Sorry. - Well,
don't mutter apologies.
599
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,400
Expand, explain, share!
600
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,510
I was being insensitive.
It's one of my strengths.
601
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,550
Good. Stop that, then, dear.
602
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,470
- Leslie?
- I'm just sad.
603
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:18,430
And a bit relieved. I thought
I was enjoying it but...
604
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,560
having three girlfriends is like...
605
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,680
.. trying to ride three bikes.
606
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:28,550
Anyway, all will be well.
607
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,590
The girls clearly like you.
608
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:35,510
- How could they not? - Go and settle
things with Daphne and Dionisia.
609
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,320
Tell the one you love the most
that she's the only one for you.
610
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,550
Oh, Margo.
611
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,830
- Time for a new hobby?
- Spaghetti weaving?
612
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:49,230
- Banana bending?
- No, I'm moving on.
613
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:52,040
I'll see you at the doctor's
in an hour. I have a plan.
614
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,880
Well, everyone else has had one.
615
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:09,520
I'm sorry if I don't always
appreciate your animal collecting.
616
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,590
Don't they miss being with their friends?
617
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,800
I'm their friend.
618
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:22,590
Oh.
619
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,640
- Don't look them in the eye.
- Oh.
620
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,640
It's also good advice
with lawyers, of course.
621
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:36,070
It's for him. I'll release them when
I've seen if their colour changes
622
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,120
according to what I feed them.
623
00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:51,880
He's doing it! He's eating from my bowl.
624
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,230
Doctor Stephanides.
625
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,190
As I say, I'm not actually a doctor.
626
00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:05,240
But why not? I look like one.
627
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:10,510
Theo, you've done it. You've
actually made a difference.
628
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,870
I have the results of my first X-Ray...
629
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,550
from one Lawrence Durrell.
630
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,830
But I should only show the patient.
631
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:20,670
- We'll tell him.
- Don't worry about it.
632
00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:22,760
I don't know if you can see there.
633
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,360
Oh, yes. Gosh.
634
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:32,680
Leg. Tibia. Fibula.
635
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,910
We can see clearly that
Larry has broken his...
636
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:39,950
record for how low his pain threshold is.
637
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,630
I suspect he has a torn muscle.
638
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:47,030
- He's asleep.
- Oh, Florence.
639
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:51,270
- I'm worried about you. How are you?
- It's very ageing, parenting.
640
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,590
Don't worry. I'm coming
to work for you both
641
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,270
as a radiography assistant-cum-nanny.
642
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:57,950
That was my plan.
643
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,550
I'm good with people and babies.
I need to be useful for a change.
644
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,870
And I like seeing men
with their clothes off.
645
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,470
Pay me what you can afford. Right.
646
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,840
Let's organise. Hm. Right. Florence...
647
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,270
.. you've got vomit on your shoulder.
648
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,040
Oh.
649
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:19,150
I don't think she's going to turn up.
650
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:22,230
- Sorry.
- Where's Aunt Hermione?
651
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,310
Out for drinks with Suitor No.1.
652
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,870
- We love Aunt Hermione now.
- She's a good sort.
653
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:32,230
- Hello.
- Kalos ilthes.
654
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:33,270
~
655
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,320
Yes.
656
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:39,480
I am... pleased... to... be... here.
657
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,160
Oh.
658
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,550
- Oh, gosh.
- Fresh bread. From the bakery.
659
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,430
- Very pretty.
- Yes.
660
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,710
Well, I hope you'll all
enjoy your vegetarian meal.
661
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:58,630
- Gorgeous.
- Ambrosial.
662
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,270
- Evening, everyone.
- Evening, auntie.
663
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:06,320
Mr Anestis sends his... Oh,
what are they?.. regards.
664
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,510
I know you're all desperate to
know which pseudonym I chose.
665
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:15,590
- Is it Ivor Perfectly-Goodleg?
- No. It's...
666
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,400
Charles Norden.
667
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,070
I'll fetch the meat.
668
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,680
- No, Auntie, there's isn't...
- It's fine. I'm happy to get it.
669
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,270
Oh.
670
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,990
- Auntie reminded me last night...
- I did?
671
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,750
.. that all that matters
is that we love each other.
672
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:43,430
And we let each other know in
whatever way we find possible.
673
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:46,350
I do it by protecting us all with my guns.
674
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,590
I'll dedicate my next book to you all.
675
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:52,200
We'll promise we'll try not to
talk to you so much in the future.
676
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:59,070
Pass the vegetables, please.
677
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,430
Auntie. Would you like tomato?
678
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,670
Is there enough veg for us all?
679
00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:06,440
Don't hold back, Gerry.
680
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,920
I really like his humour.
681
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,670
So...
682
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:24,160
now we are seven.
683
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,190
How do you split up
nicely from a girlfriend?
684
00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:36,270
We should talk about...
life and how it starts.
685
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,630
- Please be mine again.
- No.
686
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,950
Look, this is a noble sacrifice.
687
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,040
- Why are we staring at a wall?
- It's alive. It's called Geronimo.
688
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:53,000
- Please look after my children...
while I'm away. - I'd love to.
689
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,430
Agree to marry my daughter.
54157
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