All language subtitles for The Durrells - 03x01 - Episode 1.-ORGANiC.English.updated.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian Download
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:07,750 Dear Aunt Hermione, I hope Belgium was good 2 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,610 and this letter reaches you safely in Dijon. 3 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,040 Mmmmm. Mustard! 4 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:18,110 We are all happy. Larry is writing his third novel 5 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,950 which is more than Leslie has read. And Les has a girlfriend, Daphne. 6 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:25,950 But won't let us meet her. Margo had ditched her boyfriend, Zoltan, 7 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,230 because we begged her to. 8 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,680 And Gerry, as ever, prefers his animal family to his human one. 9 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,790 I have given up searching for love. 10 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,470 So, will all my new free time, I'm thinking of learning the harp. 11 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,920 Or getting a cello between my legs. 12 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,800 Time just for me. 13 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,000 It is gorgeous here. 14 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,600 - I can see it, Gerry. - He followed me. 15 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,070 - Infuriating. - That's what you said about most of them. 16 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,470 Scorpions don't follow people home. 17 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:17,710 I have nobody. I feel like a dog without an owner. 18 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,870 You are a terrific young woman, Margo. 19 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,710 You don't need someone to own you. 20 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,870 Thank you, lonely spinster. 21 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:28,470 - I am neither. I'm a busy widow. - Ugh! Even worse (!) - Look at this letter! 22 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,270 - Aarghhhhh! - Agh! 23 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,990 I think I heard a crack. Endless sorry animals. 24 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,750 - I've broken my leg! - Unlikely, darling. 25 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,990 I just wrote to my aunt that we're all happy. 26 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,350 - Argh! - Where's Leslie? - Oh, I'll show you. 27 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,200 Arrghhhhhhh! 28 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,470 Well, life hasn't showered Leslie with gifts. 29 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,750 He's allowed a girlfriend. 30 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,790 So, that's Daphne. 31 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,710 - Hello, Daphne! - No. No. No. No. It's not her. 32 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:05,190 He's got three girls. I found these in his secret nook. 33 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,230 He's made the mistake of photographing his victims. 34 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,030 - So what do you expect me to do about it? - I dunno. 35 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,640 Oh. Nice cardie. 36 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,360 Oh, God. They look like trouble. 37 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,910 Well, tell your publisher that you won't use a pseudonym. 38 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,470 I've got no choice. 39 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,510 My last novel did so badly my name is commercial leprosy. 40 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,190 A pseudonym is when you use a name that isn't yours because... 41 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,350 I know what a pseudonym is. Don't confuse boredom with ignorance. 42 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,880 - Oh, please, Margo. Get a ruddy hobby. - Evening. 43 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,630 Is it true you have THREE girlfriends? 44 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,350 - Yes, it is. - And do they all know about each other? 45 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:40,350 - No, they don't. - I can't help thinking one would be simpler. 46 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,710 This makes up for all the time I had no girlfriends. 47 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,630 If you average it out, I have one girlfriend. 48 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,790 Lots of animals mate for life. 49 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,110 - Yeah, that's what I'm going for. - Me too. 50 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,110 He doesn't mean they mate constantly throughout their life. 51 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,870 Have only one mate their whole life. Otters, penguins, the prairie vole. 52 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,310 No, I'm not a prairie vole. I'm me. 53 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,590 It would be nice to meet your friends. Oh, no. No. 54 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,990 - I don't want you sticking your oar in. - Hermione will. 55 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,710 - She's coming back. - It's weed on you. 56 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,430 She's coming back again? Why? 57 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:14,760 Warmth. Renewal. Her friend Mr Anestis. 58 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,920 In fact, she's planning to stay permanently. 59 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:44,470 My niece Dionisia is Leslie girlfriend. Soon, he will be family. 60 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,830 I'm afraid you're jumping ahead. Leslie is seeing three girls. 61 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,560 - Three? - Aaghhhh! 62 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,910 - Do you really think it's broken? - Yes. 63 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,600 All right. I'll fetch the doctor. 64 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,830 - As you insist, I've chosen a hobby. - Oh, good. 65 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,750 Making sculptures out of soap. 66 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,030 - What? - Well, it seems stupid but so do a lot of things. 67 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,440 Like hockey and feet. And testicles. 68 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:21,270 Is that the same flamingo? 69 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,360 Yes. 70 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,910 Oh, dear. Ah! Florence. 71 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,790 - It's actually your husband I wanted to see. - Hold this. 72 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:36,540 Oh. 73 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:46,150 Little Adonis. Isn't he a sweetie? 74 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,030 Fatuous bloody name! Not so much Adonis more a Dennis! 75 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,040 No, he's... He's bonnie. 76 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,910 Leslie was a monstrous troll of a baby. 77 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,000 And he's not exactly Clark Gable now! 78 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,510 Look, Florence it will get easier. 79 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,720 You've waited so long for this baby. 80 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,870 - So, what's happened to Larry? - Well... 81 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:13,520 He thinks he's fractured his leg tripping over the dog. 82 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,590 They kept him quiet for all of three seconds. 83 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,510 These might be a bit sharp. 84 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:25,590 Oh, boo hoo. Well, I can't help. My husband's in Kavos. 85 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,550 They have a backlog of cases. Dr Frangos is working. 86 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,910 I'm a better doctor than Dr Frangos. 87 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,110 Larry needs an X-ray more than a doctor. 88 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,390 - And where could he get one of those? - Athens. Naples. 89 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,310 - Turn left out of the house. Try Istanbul. - This is ridiculous. 90 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:44,030 Yes, it is. But Larry is no stranger to accidents and illnesses. 91 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,830 - He obviously likes the attention. - You may not be interested 92 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,910 in being a good parent but I am. 93 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,950 So I'll try another way. 94 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,270 And I'm sorry you don't think Leslie's handsome 95 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,320 but he has three girlfriends. 96 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,400 - Do you have any remedies for excess libido? - Childbirth. 97 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,990 Mrs Durrell. Founder of a dynasty. What a pleasure. 98 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,670 How delightful to find someone who isn't grumpy or cross with me. 99 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:31,110 Oh, yes. There's lots of crossness. Even on a Greek island. 100 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,110 Because they have no thermocyclops to keep them happy. 101 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,110 Oh. He's in here, is he? 102 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,950 Several hundred of them. It's more of a soup, really. 103 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,390 Hmm. But it's Larry I'm here about. 104 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:46,070 - He suspects he's broken his leg. - Oh, dear. 105 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,390 Florence can't help and well, there's no backup. 106 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,510 You have medical training. What can I do? 107 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,990 I'd love to help but I didn't qualify as a doctor. 108 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:59,640 Besides, who else will monitor the thermocyclops and other copepods? 109 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:04,400 Well, that's one defective son. On to the next. 110 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,720 - Hello, Spiros. - Mrs Durrells. 111 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,870 - Home? - Yes, please. 112 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,230 I would walk but I have a favour to ask. 113 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:25,430 - Anything. - This is one occasion where I wish I had a husband. 114 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,360 Or, at least, Leslie had a father. 115 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:33,440 Would you explain to him why it's wrong to be promiscuous? 116 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,710 That mating with too many ladies? 117 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,350 Erm... yes. But we tend to say 'mating' only for animals. 118 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,400 Hm. What would you say? 119 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,680 I don't know. 120 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,800 Leslie, Spiros would like a word. 121 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,350 Gerry, I said no more. 122 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,910 We don't have the food or the room. 123 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,310 - I'm sorry, I'm going to release one. - No! 124 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,200 I'm researching if their colour will change if they alter their diet. 125 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,590 At your age, with the girls, I was like a cat in a mouse house. 126 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,630 Happy times. 127 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:34,710 Were yours pretty? Mine are so pretty. 128 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,670 Ha-ha. Yes. One was incredibly... 129 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,430 What's the word? Er... 130 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,470 - Busty. - Oh, yeah. Yeah. Busty. 131 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,430 - I can't tell you how busty. - Are you sure you can't? 132 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,230 Enjoy it. Enjoy it while you can b... 133 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,270 .. Because... erm... 134 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,560 So, to recap... What are you doing? Huh? 135 00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,840 The love of one good woman... 136 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:05,280 .. is nice and... 137 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,670 Pelican tart, for supper. 138 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,190 And Gerry will be releasing some of his pets. 139 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,750 Please do the same... Leslie. 140 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,800 Or I will. 141 00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:29,810 I'm buying more goats from Sven. 142 00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:32,130 Their cheese always does well. 143 00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:34,170 But we need to sell more. 144 00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:36,740 Whoa. It's boring being paupers. 145 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,290 I'd love a porpoise. 146 00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:43,530 So, I'm putting you in charge of animal produce. 147 00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:47,380 That way, you'll be among animals but useful ones. 148 00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:53,210 - Still no milk from her? - No. - Look, Sven loves his goats. 149 00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:55,850 But when they come to the end of their working lives... 150 00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:58,570 We don't slaughter people who retire. 151 00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:02,170 Animals aren't people and you merrily eat meat someone has killed. 152 00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:04,530 You're right. From now on, I'm a vegetarian. 153 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:07,570 - Gerry, I am NOT cooking two different meals. - Theo! 154 00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:11,170 Mrs Durrell, Professor Durrell... 155 00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:14,530 I've brought you a leopard spotted gecko. 156 00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:17,610 Found in a crate of Indian mangoes. 157 00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,650 Thank you. Look at that. 158 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,690 I'll see if I can milk it. 159 00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:24,010 So we can make some money (!) 160 00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:26,330 I just wanted a word with your mother. 161 00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:27,730 Hm. 162 00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:32,250 Our chat earlier sparked a crisis of conscience in me. 163 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,690 Am I more useful improving health in Corfu 164 00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:36,730 than scrutinising molluscs? 165 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,770 Yes, you are. 166 00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:43,250 - Of course, molluscs are vital links in the complex chain of life. - Hm. 167 00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:46,170 I don't care. But what will you do? 168 00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:48,730 I have an idea of how to help Larry. 169 00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:52,660 - I'm going to the mainland to investigate. - Thank you, Theo. 170 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:57,810 Across Europe Auntie strides, like the Mongol hordes. 171 00:11:57,860 --> 00:12:00,140 But wearing more talcum powder. 172 00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:06,570 - What's your sculpture of? - Wouldn't you like to know? 173 00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:11,300 Yes. I'm agog to know what you're making out of shards of old soap (!) 174 00:12:12,660 --> 00:12:14,650 Which pseudonym do you prefer? 175 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:18,210 Hieronymous Schmoop or Tom Orange? 176 00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:21,170 It depends. Do you want to sound like a pretentious ponce 177 00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:23,210 or a simpleton? 178 00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:25,900 - Pretentious ponce. - Oh. 179 00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:31,930 - You remember which of your stable of ladies you're meeting? - Yes. 180 00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:34,940 - You can't keep all three. - Well, I can. 181 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,370 Tell us why you like each one. 182 00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:41,450 Well, Daphne's so confident. 183 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,330 Sometimes me and her have a right old shouting match. 184 00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,650 Tsanta is really gentle and kind. 185 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:49,450 And Dionisia made us laugh so much once we wet ourselves. 186 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:52,020 She is such fun. 187 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:56,050 I know it's hard to find one person who gives you everything but... 188 00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:58,100 Yeah, exactly. 189 00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,490 You managed to get up the stairs, then? 190 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,900 If you hadn't hidden the booze, I'd have danced up. 191 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:19,370 How did I not know Leslie has been accumulating girlfriends? 192 00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:22,730 Oh, we all need secrets. I've got some absolute humdingers. 193 00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:24,770 Well, yes, but you're not Les. 194 00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:27,410 He needs special care. 195 00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:30,410 Ideally, I'd spend all day with him. Like a bodyguard. 196 00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:32,650 Five yards behind pointing out hazards. 197 00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:35,290 He has three girlfriends not three landmines! 198 00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:37,970 They're people. He's not good with people. 199 00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:40,570 He is good with things. 200 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:43,570 Yes, he's very good with things. 201 00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:46,370 All parents have one child that they fear for. 202 00:13:46,420 --> 00:13:49,210 You know, the one who gets bitten or rejected. 203 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,770 Or the one who chooses bad friends. 204 00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:53,810 Or falls off Bournemouth Pier. 205 00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:56,670 Please try not to get involved. 206 00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,730 Well, what am I here for? 207 00:13:58,780 --> 00:14:03,850 He's heading for disaster. It's his first ballet class all over again. 208 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,930 - You're going to tell him who to pick. - Oh, I would never do that. 209 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,610 What are you planning, then? 210 00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:11,940 To protect my most vulnerable child. 211 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:18,250 I've forgiven you for acting like Jack The Lad with Leslie 212 00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:20,290 because I'm afraid I need your help again. 213 00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:24,690 Mrs Durrells, I love to help and your family gives me many chances. 214 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:29,010 I now know the names and whereabouts of his three girlfriends. 215 00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:31,370 So we're going to go and find out what they're like. 216 00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:36,450 - Why? - Well, Leslie has a history of making bad choices. 217 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:40,090 Well, I can't bear to watch him do it again and have his heart broken. 218 00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:44,300 I remember his first girlfriend cheated on him. 219 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,210 He sobbed into my arms. 220 00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:50,970 I wanted to kill her. 221 00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,890 Is this his revenge? 222 00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:54,930 No. It's love of women. 223 00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,970 I can think of bigger sins. 224 00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:10,850 Is this the one who laughs with Leslie till they wet themselves? 225 00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:15,050 No, that's Dionisia. And once. I don't think it's a regular thing. 226 00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,460 - Kalimera. - Kalimera. 227 00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,370 - Daphne? - Yes. 228 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,410 I'm your friend Leslie's mother. 229 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:25,330 He mentioned you and we were passing. 230 00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:27,370 I wondered if you'd seen him. 231 00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:29,330 I think you come to see how I look. 232 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:31,370 Very confident. 233 00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:34,570 Oh, no. Besides, who cares about looks? 234 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,610 I do. 235 00:15:36,660 --> 00:15:39,330 Actually, I do too. 236 00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:43,130 Leslie looks strong but he's surprisingly delicate. 237 00:15:43,180 --> 00:15:45,810 No, he's not. You're wrong. 238 00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:47,890 Have you met Spiros? 239 00:15:47,940 --> 00:15:49,940 Yes. 240 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,210 Aunt Hermione doesn't dawdle, does she? 241 00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:08,560 Look, she's reached Venice. 242 00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:12,690 Maybe she'll catch Cholera like Gustav von Ashenbach. 243 00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:14,810 Death In Venice. 244 00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:17,090 - It's a book. - It's a book. Of course it is. 245 00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:20,290 Look, I'll tell you why it's a bad idea to have three girlfriends. 246 00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:22,730 - Cos it's three more than you have (!) - A... 247 00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:25,330 one day you'll call them by the other girls' name. B... 248 00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:29,250 - they'll find out you're cheating and dump you. - I haven't lied to them. 249 00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:32,010 Spoken like a cheap lawyer. C, Mother isn't happy. 250 00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:33,650 - D... - Let's do the whole alphabet. 251 00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:36,850 .. if you had one girlfriend... I know, boring... and she had two men, 252 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:41,130 - how would you feel? And... - If you say, "E", I'll kick your bad leg. 253 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,770 - Aaghhh! - R? 254 00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:46,490 Oh, I give up. Do what you want. 255 00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:49,170 Yeah, we know it hurts. 256 00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:53,210 And it says here 'a broken limb can become deformed if not set properly.' 257 00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:57,130 W-Why don't I make you a plaster cast? 258 00:16:57,180 --> 00:16:59,170 Because you're not a doctor. 259 00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:02,520 - I delivered Lugaretzia's granddaughter... - So I practically am! 260 00:17:21,860 --> 00:17:25,010 - Yassas. - Yassas. 261 00:17:25,060 --> 00:17:28,770 - Sorry to disturb you. Are you Tsanta? - Yes, I am. 262 00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:32,820 - I am Mrs Durrell, your friend Leslie's mother. - Oh. 263 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:37,730 What a pretty blush. Mr Halikiopoulos and I were passing. 264 00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:40,690 - Weren't we? - OK. 265 00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:45,330 Leslie said you helped out here and I've always wanted to visit this church. 266 00:17:45,380 --> 00:17:47,370 Haven't I, Spiros? 267 00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:51,290 Yes, I had to tell her, "Stop going on and on and on about it." 268 00:17:51,340 --> 00:17:53,170 I didn't go on and on about it. 269 00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:56,060 I am very pleased to meet you. 270 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,050 I see why Leslie loves his mother. 271 00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:03,810 You go straight into the lead. 272 00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:06,860 - The lead? - Er... 273 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,220 - Yassas. - Yassas. 274 00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:19,290 You are Dionisia? 275 00:18:19,340 --> 00:18:22,370 - Neh. - Leslie's mother. 276 00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:25,610 Mrs Durrells. He mentioned you. We were just passing. 277 00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:29,030 - ~ - She doesn't speak English. 278 00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:32,090 Oh. So how do they make each other laugh? 279 00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:34,830 ~ 280 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:36,730 ~ 281 00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:38,780 Mind your own business. 282 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,610 So what does she like about Leslie? 283 00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:44,810 ~ 284 00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:48,170 Hmmm. ~ 285 00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:50,370 He's silly. 286 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,910 Kalimera. ~ 287 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,820 ~ 288 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,250 If anyone's silly, you're silly. 289 00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:01,770 - You want my opinion of the ladies? - I think I've made my own mind up. 290 00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:04,810 - Daphne's tough because her father is a gangster. - What?! 291 00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:07,770 - Well, why didn't you say? - You can't pick your daddy. 292 00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:12,180 Dionisia, I think, lives for now and does what comes naturally. 293 00:19:13,660 --> 00:19:16,650 Tsanta is a sweet peasant girl... 294 00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:19,970 - who keeps her knees together. - You're guessing. 295 00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:22,850 - Yes, but I knew her mother well. - Of course you did. 296 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:26,370 I just want Leslie to find someone who'll love him 297 00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:27,970 like I loved my husband. 298 00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:30,090 So, what now? 299 00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:32,940 I talk to Leslie and tell him who he should choose. 300 00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:40,980 - You... are... family... of... Lugaretzia. - Lugaretzia. 301 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,980 Stop it now. That's really mean. 302 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:09,730 Plaster cast. Want to sign it? 303 00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:11,850 Just trying to keep it erudite. 304 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:13,900 Who did it? 305 00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:18,540 Les. It does hurt less but it is rather heavy. 306 00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:28,570 Oh, Leslie, I dropped in on all of your girlfriends. 307 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,770 So, obviously, that took quite a while. 308 00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:32,810 Why did you? 309 00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:36,890 Well, because I haven't met them. I worry about you. 310 00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:40,890 - Well, you didn't mention any of my oddities, did you? - No. 311 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,930 They're all very pretty. 312 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:46,810 And Tsanta's lovely. Choose her. 313 00:20:46,860 --> 00:20:48,770 Sorry, Lugaretzia. 314 00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:52,450 Invite Tsanta round for tea and we can all kick off our shoes 315 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:55,090 - and get to know each other better. - No. 316 00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:57,610 Look, I'm trying to save you some heartache. 317 00:20:57,660 --> 00:21:01,130 Having three times the normal number of girlfriends cannot end well. 318 00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:04,780 Then stop interfering. I'm trying to run a tight ship and keep them happy. 319 00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:08,220 Oh. 320 00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:13,330 Don't all glower at me. 321 00:21:13,380 --> 00:21:17,370 Well, it's not gone brilliantly, has it? Now you've alienated Leslie. 322 00:21:17,420 --> 00:21:19,980 I'm getting involved. I understand women. 323 00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:25,490 Well, I wouldn't kick any of them out of bed. 324 00:21:25,540 --> 00:21:28,850 Dionisia is the best. My family. 325 00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:32,690 - She looks fun. I'm backing her. - She's just like Leslie first girlfriend. 326 00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:35,410 - Who was unfaithful to him. - Love is a whirlpool. 327 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,980 Some drown. 328 00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:41,050 Tsanta's kind and her English is good. 329 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:44,220 - Dionisia only speaks Greek. - This is Greece, no? 330 00:21:45,780 --> 00:21:48,370 - Les needs a strong woman. - No. You mean YOU do. 331 00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:51,810 You can tell Daphne doesn't take any bullshit. I'll make sure he picks her. 332 00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:54,340 How we going to do that? 333 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:41,010 Gerry, they hate me. Get rid of them. 334 00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:43,690 Flamingoes don't like being looked in the eye. I told you. 335 00:22:43,740 --> 00:22:45,570 See them in the wild. 336 00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:47,490 Do you know why they stand on one leg? 337 00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:50,450 - For a bet? I don't know. - Nor do I. 338 00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:52,930 No one does. Not until we study them some more. 339 00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:56,170 - And it's easier here. - For once, will you listen to me? 340 00:22:56,220 --> 00:22:58,130 Leslie doesn't. Larry doesn't. And... 341 00:22:58,180 --> 00:23:00,410 Margo's got a brain like a room full of starlings. 342 00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:03,610 - I wondered where I could get some starlings. - Listen! 343 00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:06,140 No more creatures. 344 00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:14,410 - Hello, Margo. Good timing. I'm just back from Athens. - Oh, good. 345 00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:17,090 - Theo, do you have any soap? - Yes, I do. 346 00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:19,060 May I have it, please? 347 00:23:23,380 --> 00:23:25,300 I may need to wash at some point. 348 00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:30,610 Are you trying the ancient craft of soap sculpture? 349 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:32,690 Originally from Siam, I believe. 350 00:23:32,740 --> 00:23:35,290 You really are a brainbox, aren't you? 351 00:23:35,340 --> 00:23:38,930 - What are you doing in Athens? - Can't say yet. It's very exciting. 352 00:23:38,980 --> 00:23:43,780 As exciting as a family torn apart by a choice between three women? 353 00:23:44,980 --> 00:23:48,930 Leslie's girlfriends. Apparently, it's like King Lear. 354 00:23:48,980 --> 00:23:51,410 Except Les hasn't got a kingdom to give away. 355 00:23:51,460 --> 00:23:54,410 Gosh. I wouldn't have expected that from Leslie. 356 00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:56,460 I see him more as a Bottom. 357 00:23:57,900 --> 00:24:01,380 The Shakespearean character Bottom not THE bottom. 358 00:24:02,420 --> 00:24:03,570 Oh. 359 00:24:03,620 --> 00:24:06,180 Thank you so much. 360 00:24:10,020 --> 00:24:12,260 Come on, Theo. Spit it out. 361 00:24:16,940 --> 00:24:19,810 Mrs Petridis has opened up a spare room for me. 362 00:24:31,780 --> 00:24:33,780 What do you think? 363 00:24:37,660 --> 00:24:40,690 - A photography studio? - Sort of. 364 00:24:40,740 --> 00:24:44,370 A radiography unit. X-rays. A phenomenal diagnostics tool. 365 00:24:44,420 --> 00:24:47,020 People are suffering and dying needless here. 366 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,710 Theo, this is... 367 00:24:50,260 --> 00:24:51,210 wonderful. 368 00:25:01,420 --> 00:25:06,330 If you need me, I'll be next door asleep in a pool of my own tears. 369 00:25:11,420 --> 00:25:13,690 Why has our neighbour got a wheelchair? 370 00:25:13,740 --> 00:25:16,420 His toes went black and had to be cut off. 371 00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:20,660 Wait. Jar. 372 00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:26,500 Come on, handsome. 373 00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:32,060 - You heard what mother said. - I have a plan. 374 00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:42,890 - Hello. Herete. - Herete. 375 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:44,940 ~ 376 00:25:48,260 --> 00:25:49,810 ~ 377 00:25:49,860 --> 00:25:51,610 You are very pretty and nice. 378 00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:53,860 ~ 379 00:25:54,940 --> 00:25:58,210 Leslie must be with you. You are the most jolly. 380 00:25:58,260 --> 00:26:02,980 We need more fun in our family and modern fashion like yours. 381 00:26:09,980 --> 00:26:11,970 ~ 382 00:26:12,020 --> 00:26:14,060 Leslie is very funny. 383 00:26:16,620 --> 00:26:19,060 I don't think it's deliberate. 384 00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:24,380 Kalimera. 385 00:26:27,580 --> 00:26:28,970 - Daphne? - Yes. 386 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:31,970 We're Leslie's brothers. We're just passing. 387 00:26:32,020 --> 00:26:34,010 Came along to say hello. 388 00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:36,650 Larry needs an outing every once in while or he gets grumpy. 389 00:26:36,700 --> 00:26:40,370 - I've never seen one that big. - Thank you. I hear that a lot. 390 00:26:40,420 --> 00:26:44,090 Before we chat, I am available if you prefer me to Leslie. 391 00:26:44,140 --> 00:26:45,330 No. 392 00:26:45,380 --> 00:26:47,850 Good. That was a test. 393 00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:51,210 - Why do you like Leslie? - He's a good person. 394 00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:54,810 - Leslie thinks about me. - Yes. When he has time. 395 00:26:54,860 --> 00:26:57,170 But we're here to advise you how to win Leslie over. 396 00:26:57,220 --> 00:26:59,220 I have already won him over. 397 00:26:59,460 --> 00:27:01,450 - Well... - Not quite. 398 00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:04,890 - Pretend to love guns and shooting. - And he hates books. 399 00:27:04,940 --> 00:27:07,810 Just say you don't like them. And come to tea on Sunday. 400 00:27:07,860 --> 00:27:09,900 So we think of you as Leslie's girlfriend. 401 00:27:15,060 --> 00:27:17,970 - Hello, Tsanta. - Mrs Durrells. 402 00:27:18,020 --> 00:27:20,690 - You come to see the church again? - No. 403 00:27:20,740 --> 00:27:22,730 I've come to see you. 404 00:27:22,780 --> 00:27:23,940 Oh. 405 00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:31,490 - Is Mother out? - Yes. 406 00:27:31,540 --> 00:27:34,460 Thank you, driver. 407 00:27:46,660 --> 00:27:50,450 Go on. One in, one out! 408 00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:52,500 Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! 409 00:27:53,540 --> 00:27:56,260 Go on. Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! 410 00:27:57,020 --> 00:27:58,500 Shoo! 411 00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:04,490 You know Hitler's a vegetarian, Gerry? 412 00:28:04,540 --> 00:28:09,340 - And like you, he writes books. - Hm. He sounds all right, then. 413 00:28:11,260 --> 00:28:14,210 - Your hands are filthy. - Margo's used all the soap. 414 00:28:15,540 --> 00:28:18,490 Enjoy the chicken, everyone. 415 00:28:18,540 --> 00:28:21,690 - Since Gerry's shooed ours away. - You said to get rid of some animals. 416 00:28:21,740 --> 00:28:23,900 That is hilarious. Be fair. 417 00:28:26,620 --> 00:28:28,810 Delicious (!) 418 00:28:28,860 --> 00:28:32,210 - And no one was killed. - Good day at the orifice? 419 00:28:32,260 --> 00:28:35,050 Leg still feeling good? You're most welcome. 420 00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:39,010 It's bearable thanks to the booze I managed to smuggle past the guard. 421 00:28:46,460 --> 00:28:51,090 Leslie's less strong-minded than he seems. 422 00:28:51,140 --> 00:28:54,210 He needs help and reassurance. 423 00:28:54,260 --> 00:28:57,130 And sometimes, we forget to give it. 424 00:28:57,180 --> 00:28:59,170 So you can do that. 425 00:28:59,220 --> 00:29:01,610 Because that will make him love you... even more. 426 00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:04,180 Thank you. You're very nice. 427 00:29:09,460 --> 00:29:11,410 My latest. Larry's idea. 428 00:29:11,460 --> 00:29:14,340 It's Hydra, the serpent woman with three heads. 429 00:29:15,380 --> 00:29:17,970 Hello, I'm Margo. 430 00:29:18,020 --> 00:29:21,020 Leslie's sister and emotional advisor. You must be Tsanta. 431 00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:24,530 Are you sure you like Les? He's a lot of trouble. 432 00:29:24,580 --> 00:29:26,450 No, he's not. Go away. 433 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:30,890 - Where is Leslie? - I told him to be here at five o'clock for Sunday tea. 434 00:29:30,940 --> 00:29:33,930 - Oh, God! - It's a bit of England we've brought with us. 435 00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:35,410 That and sarcasm. 436 00:29:35,460 --> 00:29:37,450 And a fear of emotions. 437 00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:40,180 Guests for tea! 438 00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:44,700 - Excuse me. - Excuse me. 439 00:29:56,660 --> 00:30:00,370 I bring my niece for five o'clock tea like you say. 440 00:30:00,420 --> 00:30:04,570 Oh. How... lovely. 441 00:30:04,620 --> 00:30:07,140 Well, let's have it over here. 442 00:30:08,980 --> 00:30:11,170 You'll get draughty in this dress, Dionisia. 443 00:30:11,220 --> 00:30:13,650 - I'll lend you a scarf. - Ignore her. You look stunning. 444 00:30:13,700 --> 00:30:17,170 She is pretty. My family usually is not pretty. 445 00:30:17,220 --> 00:30:20,370 - I'll bring Leslie right over. - Where is he? 446 00:30:20,420 --> 00:30:23,100 Good question. I'll go and look for him. 447 00:30:25,460 --> 00:30:27,250 Where did you bring Dionisia? 448 00:30:27,300 --> 00:30:29,490 I'm just the driver. I couldn't say no. 449 00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:33,290 My leg is hot and veering to the left. 450 00:30:33,340 --> 00:30:35,340 I want this cast off NOW! 451 00:30:36,260 --> 00:30:38,650 I have tools. 452 00:30:38,700 --> 00:30:42,490 Dionisia has arrived. We have to keep her and Tsanta apart. 453 00:30:42,540 --> 00:30:44,410 - And Daphne's coming any minute. - What?! 454 00:30:44,460 --> 00:30:47,530 I didn't know you were bringing all the contestants. Daphne. 455 00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:49,690 She's the best one for Les. Give up now. 456 00:30:49,740 --> 00:30:53,050 - She's much better than the nun woman. - She's not a nun! 457 00:30:53,100 --> 00:30:55,490 It's not fair on Leslie finding them all here. 458 00:30:55,540 --> 00:30:58,810 You wanted him to choose and now's his chance. Like a beauty parade. 459 00:30:58,860 --> 00:31:00,850 Or a police line-up. 460 00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:04,050 Daphne. Well, what a surprise. 461 00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:06,850 - Hello. - Oh, it's terribly hot, isn't it? 462 00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:08,450 - No. - No. 463 00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:11,060 Even so, let's go indoors and have tea. 464 00:31:25,740 --> 00:31:28,580 - I don't know where Leslie is. - There. 465 00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:31,530 Oh. 466 00:31:31,580 --> 00:31:34,260 Er... excuse me. 467 00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:39,490 Leslie, Leslie, don't approach the house. 468 00:31:39,540 --> 00:31:41,530 Why not? 469 00:31:41,580 --> 00:31:45,250 Because Larry is one saw stroke away from having his foot lopped off. 470 00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:48,980 - Well, I wouldn't want to miss that. - No, darling... 471 00:31:52,340 --> 00:31:54,340 Why did you let Leslie...? 472 00:31:55,260 --> 00:31:58,220 Your foot's stuck. 473 00:32:04,060 --> 00:32:06,530 What's all this, then? 474 00:32:06,580 --> 00:32:08,770 - Hello, Leslie. - Hello. 475 00:32:08,820 --> 00:32:10,860 - Hello, Leslie. - Yes. 476 00:32:14,740 --> 00:32:16,650 Who are these girls? 477 00:32:16,700 --> 00:32:19,220 They're just mates. 478 00:32:20,220 --> 00:32:22,650 Daphne, old Daffers... 479 00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:25,010 I've no idea who she is. 480 00:32:25,060 --> 00:32:27,210 "Larry is a bastard." 481 00:32:27,260 --> 00:32:30,930 - Who wrote that?! - And -- Bigfoot, Bighead. 482 00:32:30,980 --> 00:32:32,530 Come on. 483 00:32:32,580 --> 00:32:36,290 - There's your pseudonym. - This family is a disgrace. 484 00:32:36,340 --> 00:32:39,130 Spiros, saw off the leg. Nobody cares! 485 00:32:39,180 --> 00:32:41,630 I'm sorry, Greek people. 486 00:32:42,780 --> 00:32:47,140 - Do I hear the language of Shakespeare? - Aunt Hermione! 487 00:32:48,620 --> 00:32:50,090 Greetings. 488 00:32:50,140 --> 00:32:52,130 Why are you always early? 489 00:32:52,180 --> 00:32:56,170 - I opted to skip Foggia. Don't shout. - Auntie. 490 00:32:56,220 --> 00:32:58,210 Thank goodness you're here. 491 00:32:58,260 --> 00:33:00,850 Please sort out my children. 492 00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:04,690 And as you can't decide which of your girlfriends you prefer, 493 00:33:04,740 --> 00:33:06,730 Aunt Hermione will do it. 494 00:33:06,780 --> 00:33:08,540 Right here. Right now. 495 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,910 You see, I wouldn't dream of policing anybody's family 496 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:32,150 or romantic life. When it comes to love, we're all beginners. 497 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:35,750 You see, my visits here have taught me that the world 498 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,670 is too lovelier place to be a dictatorship. 499 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,830 Honour others, be kind. But... 500 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:45,240 obey only the whisperings of your own soul. 501 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,510 - What is that? - Oh, do you like it? 502 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,960 I could do you one if you want. With fewer heads or more heads. 503 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,830 Auntie, you used to be so blunt and clear about everything. 504 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,070 Oh, my dear, this place has changed me. 505 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,790 I'm like a dog who wonders why she spent so long barking. 506 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:13,110 Leslie, I'm sorry your dilemma was so publicly exposed. 507 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:17,160 But better to live excessively than not to live at all. 508 00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,630 Anyway, I'm glad to be among you again. 509 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,190 Welcome back. We've been following your return on a map. 510 00:34:24,240 --> 00:34:27,110 Yes. It's been a long journey. 511 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,790 You know, I've learnt to say, "Where the hell are we?" 512 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,830 in SIX European languages. 513 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,310 Ha! So I'm going for a swim. 514 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,150 Sorry I shouted before. 515 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:39,590 I just don't want to remember Corfu as the place that destroyed my leg. 516 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:43,590 - Theo's just set up an X-Ray unit. He says Mother's inspired him. - What? 517 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:47,510 Why didn't you tell me this before? Spiros, please take me there now. 518 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,470 It's not ready yet. Theo's still working out what the knobs do. 519 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,280 - Well, I'll sit and wait until he has. - I'm coming too. 520 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,870 Leslie! I promise we weren't trying to humiliate you. 521 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,920 What have I done? 522 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,870 You are good, Leslie. 523 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,190 - I'm not, though, am I? I'm horrible. - No. 524 00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:19,390 - Thank you. - But... 525 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,040 I don't want to see you anymore. 526 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:30,110 - She was the nicest of them. - That's why I brought her here. 527 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,590 Leslie, I have one thing to do. 528 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,070 And that's make sure four children are happy. 529 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,200 I really was just trying to help you. 530 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,350 I know I shouldn't have had three girlfriends but... 531 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,190 Oh, I was just waiting for natural wastage 532 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:48,510 - as they realised I'm not that special. - But you ARE, Leslie. 533 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,830 - In your way. - With my plan, I'd have been left with the keenest one 534 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:54,480 least likely to cheat on me. Now I have nobody. 535 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:57,150 But you WILL. 536 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,230 Somewhere out there, there's a girl who will cherish you, 537 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,280 and love you even more than I do. 538 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,750 And I will look at the two of you with joy 539 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,800 and my work will be done. 540 00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:14,880 No, I'll just stay at home with you. 541 00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:18,680 Oh, Leslie. 542 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,160 You are a kind, sweet boy. 543 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:35,550 Aarrghhhhhhhh! 544 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,590 - You're marking the tiles. - I can't lift it up! 545 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,360 Ohhhhhh! 546 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,110 - Hello. - X-Ray me, doc. 547 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,830 - Give me the bad news. - The equipment's not ready. 548 00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,750 And I'm not a doctor. Though I did buy myself a stethoscope and mask! 549 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,310 - He's not leaving until you do it. - Can you X-Ray him through concrete? 550 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,910 What do you think? Huh? What do you think? 551 00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,350 Dr Petridis must have some special tools. 552 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,830 Yes, he has. 553 00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:13,170 Ssh. Sssh. 554 00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:15,720 Here we are. 555 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,430 Argh! 556 00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:20,630 Aarrghhhhhhh! 557 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:24,350 I haven't had much sleep but I seem to be weirdly strong. 558 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,640 It's OK. Have a sit down. Have a sit down. 559 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,670 - My husband's away, you know. - Yes, we do. 560 00:37:31,720 --> 00:37:34,080 I can't even look after my own baby. 561 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:41,230 - How did you do that? - I've slept so I'm more relaxed than you. 562 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,290 Babies sense these things. 563 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:45,500 Don't they? 564 00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,560 Can I suggest a technique I used while making my soap sculpture? 565 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,070 Thank you for coming. 566 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,110 I didn't need much excuse. 567 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,680 Wimborne Minster has been very dank. 568 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,950 Are you planning to see your Greek gentleman... 569 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,910 - Mr Anestis? - Yes. 570 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:14,870 But if I don't settle here, I also have two suitors in East Dorset. 571 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,390 So I can hardly criticise Leslie. 572 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,120 I've done that enough in the past. 573 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,110 Look, it's obvious... now. 574 00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:27,190 I've given up my love life so I've turned my attention to my children's. 575 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:31,670 You are a resourceful mother to a platoon of strong-minded children. 576 00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:35,790 - Enjoy them without judging them. - Judging's the only fun I get. 577 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,870 You know better than me 578 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:42,510 but good parenting isn't about meddling in your children's lives. 579 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,720 It's about loving them. 580 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,190 - Arrghhhh! - Ssh. Ssh. Sssh. 581 00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:53,840 - It's softening. - Try the shears again. 582 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,150 Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agghhhh! 583 00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,030 Agh! Agh! Agh! 584 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,150 Agh! Aarrghhhhh! 585 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,200 - Your turn. - Oh, come on, Larry. 586 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:07,070 Aarrghhhhh! 587 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:14,390 Come on, Larry. 588 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,440 We're nearly there. 589 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,150 - Aarrghhhhhh! - Come on! 590 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,680 Can you wipe my face, please? 591 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,710 Thank you. Thank you. 592 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,240 Thank you. 593 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,160 Hey, Les. Sorry about you and your women. 594 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,790 At least you know it would have never worked with Tsanta. 595 00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:53,590 Because Tsanta only comes once a year. 596 00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,470 I hope Theo says your leg is twisted and broken 597 00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:00,230 - and you never walk again! - Sibling discord? Is this possible? 598 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,350 - Sorry. - Sorry. - Well, don't mutter apologies. 599 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,400 Expand, explain, share! 600 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,510 I was being insensitive. It's one of my strengths. 601 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,550 Good. Stop that, then, dear. 602 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,470 - Leslie? - I'm just sad. 603 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:18,430 And a bit relieved. I thought I was enjoying it but... 604 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,560 having three girlfriends is like... 605 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,680 .. trying to ride three bikes. 606 00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:28,550 Anyway, all will be well. 607 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,590 The girls clearly like you. 608 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:35,510 - How could they not? - Go and settle things with Daphne and Dionisia. 609 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,320 Tell the one you love the most that she's the only one for you. 610 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,550 Oh, Margo. 611 00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,830 - Time for a new hobby? - Spaghetti weaving? 612 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:49,230 - Banana bending? - No, I'm moving on. 613 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:52,040 I'll see you at the doctor's in an hour. I have a plan. 614 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,880 Well, everyone else has had one. 615 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:09,520 I'm sorry if I don't always appreciate your animal collecting. 616 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,590 Don't they miss being with their friends? 617 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,800 I'm their friend. 618 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:22,590 Oh. 619 00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,640 - Don't look them in the eye. - Oh. 620 00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,640 It's also good advice with lawyers, of course. 621 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:36,070 It's for him. I'll release them when I've seen if their colour changes 622 00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,120 according to what I feed them. 623 00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:51,880 He's doing it! He's eating from my bowl. 624 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,230 Doctor Stephanides. 625 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,190 As I say, I'm not actually a doctor. 626 00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:05,240 But why not? I look like one. 627 00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:10,510 Theo, you've done it. You've actually made a difference. 628 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,870 I have the results of my first X-Ray... 629 00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,550 from one Lawrence Durrell. 630 00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,830 But I should only show the patient. 631 00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:20,670 - We'll tell him. - Don't worry about it. 632 00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:22,760 I don't know if you can see there. 633 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,360 Oh, yes. Gosh. 634 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:32,680 Leg. Tibia. Fibula. 635 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,910 We can see clearly that Larry has broken his... 636 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:39,950 record for how low his pain threshold is. 637 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,630 I suspect he has a torn muscle. 638 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:47,030 - He's asleep. - Oh, Florence. 639 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:51,270 - I'm worried about you. How are you? - It's very ageing, parenting. 640 00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,590 Don't worry. I'm coming to work for you both 641 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,270 as a radiography assistant-cum-nanny. 642 00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:57,950 That was my plan. 643 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,550 I'm good with people and babies. I need to be useful for a change. 644 00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,870 And I like seeing men with their clothes off. 645 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,470 Pay me what you can afford. Right. 646 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,840 Let's organise. Hm. Right. Florence... 647 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,270 .. you've got vomit on your shoulder. 648 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,040 Oh. 649 00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:19,150 I don't think she's going to turn up. 650 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:22,230 - Sorry. - Where's Aunt Hermione? 651 00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,310 Out for drinks with Suitor No.1. 652 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,870 - We love Aunt Hermione now. - She's a good sort. 653 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:32,230 - Hello. - Kalos ilthes. 654 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:33,270 ~ 655 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,320 Yes. 656 00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:39,480 I am... pleased... to... be... here. 657 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,160 Oh. 658 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,550 - Oh, gosh. - Fresh bread. From the bakery. 659 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,430 - Very pretty. - Yes. 660 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,710 Well, I hope you'll all enjoy your vegetarian meal. 661 00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:58,630 - Gorgeous. - Ambrosial. 662 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,270 - Evening, everyone. - Evening, auntie. 663 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:06,320 Mr Anestis sends his... Oh, what are they?.. regards. 664 00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,510 I know you're all desperate to know which pseudonym I chose. 665 00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:15,590 - Is it Ivor Perfectly-Goodleg? - No. It's... 666 00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,400 Charles Norden. 667 00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,070 I'll fetch the meat. 668 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,680 - No, Auntie, there's isn't... - It's fine. I'm happy to get it. 669 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,270 Oh. 670 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,990 - Auntie reminded me last night... - I did? 671 00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,750 .. that all that matters is that we love each other. 672 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:43,430 And we let each other know in whatever way we find possible. 673 00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:46,350 I do it by protecting us all with my guns. 674 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,590 I'll dedicate my next book to you all. 675 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:52,200 We'll promise we'll try not to talk to you so much in the future. 676 00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:59,070 Pass the vegetables, please. 677 00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,430 Auntie. Would you like tomato? 678 00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,670 Is there enough veg for us all? 679 00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:06,440 Don't hold back, Gerry. 680 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,920 I really like his humour. 681 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,670 So... 682 00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:24,160 now we are seven. 683 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,190 How do you split up nicely from a girlfriend? 684 00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:36,270 We should talk about... life and how it starts. 685 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,630 - Please be mine again. - No. 686 00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,950 Look, this is a noble sacrifice. 687 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,040 - Why are we staring at a wall? - It's alive. It's called Geronimo. 688 00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:53,000 - Please look after my children... while I'm away. - I'd love to. 689 00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,430 Agree to marry my daughter. 54157

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.